PREVIOUSLY ON THE L WORD--
AND I GOT INVITED TO A BARRY BURD PARTY.
ONE OF THOSE VELVET MAFIA TYPE
UNDERGROUND PARTIES
FOR ALL THE CLOSET HOLLYWOOD HOMOS.
YOU WON'T BE DOING ANY PODCASTING FROM HERE.
OH, NO.
THERE'S DARYL BREWER,
ONE OF THE TOP-RANKING POINT GUARDS IN THE NBA.
OW. OW.
SORRY, GIRL.
OH, IT'S OKAY. I'VE GOT TWO.
THANK YOU.
I'M DAWN DENBO.
HI. THIS IS MY LOVER, CINDI.
WELCOME TO SHEBAR.
THIS IS KIT FROM THE PLANET.
WE'RE NOT TRYING TO TAKE ANY BUSINESS AWAY FROM YOU.
DON'T EVEN SWEAT IT.
WE'RE NOT EVEN GOING TO SERVE COFFEE.
WHO THE HELL IS THAT?
THAT'S NIKI STEVENS.
ISN'T SHE GORGEOUS?
SHE'S THE LEAD IN OUR MOVIE.
GIRLS IN L.A. LOVE THEIR DRAMA.
GIRLS EVERYWHERE LOVE THEIR DRAMA.
WE TOOK CARE OF THAT PROBLEM.
WE DON'T CHEAT,
AND WHATEVER WE DO
WE DO TOGETHER.
NO DRAMA.
HOW COULD YOU LET A STUDENT
STAND IN FRONT OF YOUR CLASS
WITH A GUN POINTED TO HIS HEAD?
YOU ARE REALLY LUCKY THAT YOU HAVE JODI.
YEAH.
[TINA]: OKAY, EVERYONE.
QUICK ROUND-TABLE INTRODUCTION, THEN WE'LL GET ON WITH IT.
HI. MY NAME'S CAMMIE, AND I'LL BE PLAYING SHAUN.
WHAT'S UP, EVERYBODY?
MY NAME IS SUSAN, AND I WILL BE PLAYING ALYSSE.
HI. I'M LAUREN.
I JUST TOOK THE MOST HELLISH FLIGHT TO GET HERE,
SO I'M VERY HAPPY TO SEE YOU ALL.
I'M PLAYING THE ROLE OF HELEN.
[A SMATTERING OF APPLAUSE]
HELLO. I'M ISABELLA.
YOU CAN CALL ME BELLA,
AND I'M PLAYING THE ROLE OF BEV.
ALL RIGHT!
[APPLAUSE]
HI. I'M GRETCHEN,
AND I'LL BE PLAYING NINA.
CAN I JUST SAY HOW EXCITED I AM TO BE HERE?
YEAH!
I THINK WE'RE GOING TO DO SOME VERY IMPORTANT WORK.
APOLOGIES.
I WAS SIGNING PAPERS IN MY NEW LOFT.
I'M BEGONIA, PLAYING THE PREDATOR.
HELLO. HEY.
AND I'M CHERYL AND I'M PLAYING CAT.
YOU ALL JUST WATCH OUT.
[ALL CHUCKLING]
HI. I'M MARCI.
DONNA, THE SOCCER PLAYER.
HEY, ALL.
HAPPY TO BE REPRESENTING THE DUDES.
I'M GREG.
I'LL BE PLAYING JIM, JESSE'S FIANCE.
DON'T THINK I'M A BITCH
BECAUSE I'M WEARING MY SUNGLASSES INSIDE.
I, UM, JUST GOT MY PUPILS DILATED,
WHICH IS WEIRD,
BUT, ANYWAY, I JUST-- I'M NOT BEING RUDE.
I JUST HAVE TO WEAR THEM.
OH, AND I'M NIKI, PLAYING JESSE.
PEACE.
I'M TINA. I'M THE PRODUCER.
I'M ALSO THE EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT
OF CREATIVE AFFAIRS
FOR SHAOLIN PICTURES.
WELCOME.
HI, EVERYONE.
MY NAME IS JENNIFER SCHECTER
AND I AM THE WRITER
AND I'M ALSO THE DIRECTOR OF LEZ GIRLS,
AND I JUST WANT TO SAY HOW THRILLED I AM--
I REALLY AM--
TO HAVE ALL OF YOU GUYS HERE.
THIS IS THE CULMINATION
OF SO MANY THINGS FOR ME,
SO I WANT TO WELCOME YOU GUYS
TO THE FIRST TABLE READ-THROUGH OF LEZ GIRLS.
WHOO!
YAY! WHOO!
[**]
* GIRLS IN TIGHT DRESSES WHO DRAG WITH MUSTACHES *
* CHICKS DRIVING FAST INGENUES WITH LONG LASHES *
* WOMEN WHO LONG, LOVE, LUST WOMEN WHO GIVE *
* THIS IS THE WAY IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE *
* TALKING, LAUGHING LOVING, BREATHING *
* FIGHTING, FUCKING CRYING, DRINKING *
* WRITING, WINNING LOSING, CHEATING *
* KISSING, THINKING, DREAMING
* THIS IS THE WAY...
* IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE *
* IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE
* AND LOVE
HEY.
HI.
I, UH...
I WAS JUST HAVING A QUICK DRINK.
I HAD A BRUTAL DAY AT WORK.
YOU'VE BEEN AVOIDING ME.
NO, I HAVEN'T.
OKAY, YEAH, MAYBE I HAVE.
I'M SORRY.
I JUST THINK WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT IT.
THAT'S ALL.
OKAY.
YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT, LET'S TALK.
DO YOU WANT TO HAVE A DRINK?
OH, I'M SORRY, I CAN'T RIGHT NOW.
I'M SUPPOSED TO MEET JODI, BUT I--
OH.
WHAT ABOUT TOMORROW AFTERNOON?
I CAN'T TOMORROW.
I HAVE MEETINGS ALL DAY--
RIGHT.
AND JENNY IS HAVING THIS PARTY TOMORROW NIGHT
FOR ALL THE ACTORS.
I'VE GOT TO GO TO THAT.
I DON'T WANT TO MAKE IT DIFFICULT.
I'M REALLY-- I'M NOT TRYING TO.
I-- I JUST WANTED TO SAY I'M SORRY.
NO, NO, NO.I'M SORRY.
DON'T BE SORRY.
YOU AND JODI ARE TOGETHER.
OKAY?
I DON'T WANT TO GET INTO THIS WHOLE
FUCKED-UP PUSH-ME, PULL-ME THING WITH YOU.
LET'S NOT GET ALL FREAKED OUT
AND WEIRD AND MANIPULATIVE ABOUT IT--
AM I BEING MANIPULATIVE? IS THAT--
NO.
LET'S JUST TALK WHEN WE TALK.
OKAY?OKAY.
OKAY.
HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.
YEAH, YOU TOO.
[TV PLAYING QUIETLY]
IT'S GOING TO BE SO INSANE
AT JENNY'S PARTY
WITH THE WHOLE CAST OF LEZ GIRLS THERE.
REALLY?
WELL, IT'S LIKE THAT GAME, "WHO WOULD PLAY YOU IN A MOVIE?"
EXCEPT IT'S REAL LIFE.
YEAH.
I ALWAYS THOUGHT PARKER POSEY SHOULD PLAY ME,
BUT, YOU KNOW.
WELL, BEECH AND I HAVE A STRATEGY SESSION
TOMORROW NIGHT.
I WON'T BE HOME UNTIL LATE.
WELL, YOU CAN COME AFTER.
OKAY.
[NEWS ANCHOR]: THE TOPIC TONIGHT--
HOMOSEXUALITY--
HEY, TASH, THAT BASKETBALL GUY FROM THE OTHER NIGHT'S ON T.V.
HE'S ALWAYS ON T.V.
...PUBLICLY LAST YEAR,
THE REACTION FROM THE SPORTS COMMUNITY
WAS MIXED.
TODAY, ANOTHER NBA PLAYER, DARYL BREWER,
HAS VOICED HIS DISAPPROVAL
OF AMAECHI'S HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLE.
[FEMALE REPORTER]: JOHN AMAECHI
RECENTLY ANNOUNCED HE'S GAY,
BECOMING THE FIRST IN THE NBA
TO COME OUT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HIS DECISION
TO COME OUT PUBLICLY AS A GAY MAN?
FIRST OF ALL,
I WOULDN'T WANT HIM ON MY TEAM. YOU KNOW?
I DON'T THINK THAT'S RIGHT.
I DON'T WANT ANY FAGGOTS IN THE LOCKER ROOM
LOOKING AT ME
OR BRUSHING UP AGAINST ME ON THE COURT.
I DON'T LIKE GAY PEOPLE, SO I LET IT BE KNOWN.
OH, MY GOD, YOU LITTLE SNEAKY FAG.
OH, MY GOD, TASHA, COME HERE.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS.
HOLD ON.
THIS IS CRAZY.
OKAY, READY? HOLD ON.
...AS A GAY MAN?
FIRST OF ALL,
I WOULDN'T WANT HIM ON MY TEAM. YOU KNOW?
I DON'T THINK THAT'S RIGHT.
I DON'T WANT ANY FAGGOTS
IN THE LOCKER ROOM LOOKING AT ME
OR BRUSHING UP AGAINST ME ON THE COURT.
I DON'T LIKE GAY PEOPLE, SO I LET IT BE KNOWN.
THAT LITTLE PIECE-OF-SHIT POSEUR.
IT'S ONE THING
TO KEEP YOUR BUSINESS TO YOURSELF,
BUT IT'S ANOTHER THING TO GO SPREAD LIES AND HATRED.
I KNOW!
HE WAS, LIKE, THREE FEET AWAY FROM ME,
ASKING ME ABOUT MY SHOES.
WHATEVER. HE'LL GET HIS SOMEDAY.
IT'S BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE THAT
THAT YOU HAVE TO FIGHT SO HARD TO KEEP YOUR JOB.
I WISH I COULD
SMACK THE SHIT OUT OF THAT GUY AND OUT HIS HYPOCRITICAL ASS,
BUT IT AIN'T GOING TO HAPPEN.
SO MUCH FOR THAT.
YOU HEARD IT HERE FROM NEWS LIVE.
WE'LL CONTINUE TO BRING YOU MORE
AS THIS STORY UNFOLDS.
STAY WITH US.
DARYL BREWER'S PREVIOUS COMMENTS HAVE ANGERED--
[**]
HI.
HOW ARE YOU?
UM, GOOD, GOOD.
HOW ARE YOU?
DOING WELL.
CAN'T COMPLAIN.
THIS IS LOOKING GOOD. IT'S NEW.
OH, YEAH.
WE'VE EXPANDED.
OH, AND I SEE YOU DID THE DRIVE-THRU WINDOW.
I REMEMBER KIT WAS TALKING ABOUT DOING THAT.
YEAH, YEAH, SHE TOLD DAWN.
APPARENTLY, L.A. LESBIANS LIKE TO DO EVERYTHING IN THEIR CAR.
THAT, AND THEY LOVE THEIR CAFFEINE.
MM.
PLANET COFFEE?
COME ON, THAT'S SO TIRED.
YOU SHOULD TRY OUR NEW BLEND.
IT'S SO MUCH MORE FLAVORFUL.
OH, YEAH?
MM-HMM.
PLUS, WE HAVE SO MANY OTHER DELICACIES TO OFFER.
REALLY?
YEAH.
LIKE WHAT?
TARTS,
PIE,
MUFFINS...
MM-HMM.
LADY FINGERS.
I COULD GO ON.
WELL, THEN,
MAYBE YOU SHOULD THINK ABOUT GIVING OUT A SAMPLER
SO EVERYONE GETS A TASTE.
YEAH.
ANYWAY, WHY DON'T YOU--
WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER TO OUR PLACE THIS AFTERNOON
AND WE'LL COOK YOU UP SOMETHING SPECIAL?
YEAH?
YEAH.
OKAY. OKAY.
SURE.
OKAY.
I'LL BE THERE.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
YES, YOU WILL.
HAVE A GOOD DAY.
YEAH, YOU TOO.
[WHISTLING]
YEAH!
MM-HMM.
AND WHO IS THE OTHER GIRL?
OH, WELL SHE WAS THE ONE I MET IN CABO.
SHE WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND SHE WENT TO UCSB,
SO, YOU KNOW, WE DID THE WHOLE COMMUTE THING
FROM L.A. TO SANTA BARBARA FOR A WHILE,
THEN IT KIND OF TURNED INTO A DRAG,
SO WE ENDED IT,
AND THAT'S WHEN I MET THE OTHER GIRL, JIMMY.
MM. JIMMY.
THAT'S SO UGLY.
[SIGHING]
JIMMY WAS A "BOI."
YOU KNOW, NOT B-O-Y BOY, BUT B-O-I BOY,
AND SHE WAS SUPER ADORABLE
AND I ACTUALLY HAD SO MUCH FUN WITH HER
EXCEPT FOR WHEN SHE WAS DRUNK,
A TOTAL A-HOLE, RIGHT? RIGHT.
SO, ANYWAY, DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
NO.
WHY NOT?
BECAUSE I HAVE TO BE A GOOD GIRL
AND BE SERIOUS ABOUT MY WORK.
WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE?
NO.
[EXHALING DEEPLY]
ADELE, DO YOU LIKE IT?
I THINK YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.
DON'T LISTEN TO HER.
SHE WEARS "MOM" JEANS WITH CAMEL TOE.
IT'S TRUE, ADELE.
LISTEN, YOU JUST NEED TO BE MORE MID-WESTERN
AND MIDDLE OF THE ROAD.
SHE REALLY DIDN'T BECOME FASHION FORWARD
UNTIL SHE STARTED
THIS SVENGALI-LIKE RELATIONSHIP
WITH KARINA.
WHAT'S A SVENGALI?
A SVENGALI IS A CHARACTER IN A GEORGE DU MAURIER NOVEL
CALLED TRILBY,
AND HE'S A HYPNOTIST AND HE MEETS
A YOUNG WOMAN
AND TURNED HER INTO A PERFORMER
AND HIS MUSE,
AND HE BECAME CONTROLLING
AND SHE FOUND THAT SHE COULDN'T PERFORM WITHOUT HIM.
TOTALLY SOUNDS LIKE JIMMY--
A TOTAL A-HOLE.
WOW.
THAT LOOKS PRETTY.
[**]
[HUMMING]
[CLATTERING]
JESUS! FUCK, ADELE.
OH, SORRY, SORRY.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO SCARE YOU.
YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME, WOMAN.
SORRY.
JENNY JUST GAVE ME THE KEYS TO THE HOUSE
SO I COULD DROP THIS STUFF OFF.
OH, GOD,
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE BAKING.
I WAS GOING TO GET SOME CAKES
FROM SWEET LADY JANE. NO, NO, NO, NO.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
I'M MAKING, UM,
PARTY BROWNIES,
SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
PARTY BROWNIES?
HUH?
WHAT ARE PARTY BROWNIES?
PARTY BROWNIES.
[ADELE, LAUGHING]: OH, PARTY BROWNIES!
HI, MAX.
YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS A KID,
OUR NEIGHBORS HAD THIS HUGE POT FARM
IN THEIR BACKYARD,
AND, UM, MY DAD WAS A FIREMAN
SO HE WAS ALWAYS TRYING TO CALL THE COPS ON THEM,
BUT, AND-- I DON'T KNOW,
I THINK THAT THE SHERIFF MUST'VE BEEN A POTHEAD BECAUSE--
I THOUGHT YOU SAID
YOUR DAD WAS A TRAVELLING SALESMAN?
YEAH, HE WAS.
HE JUST, UM--
[RINGING]
HE JUST VOLUNTEERED WITH THE FIRE DEPARTMENT
ON THE WEEKENDS.
OH, OKAY.
OKAY.
ANYBODY NEED ANYTHING FROM THE GROCERY STORE?
I'M GOING TO GO GET THE FOOD.
NO, I'M FINE, THANKS.
YEAH?
KNOCK-KNOCK!
HEY, COME HERE.
OKAY.
YES, I WILL. HI.
HI.
HOW ARE YOU?
GOOD. GOOD.
NICE TO SEE YOU.
HOW'S IT GOING?
HOW ARE YOU? GOOD.
HOW'S JENNY'S INDENTURED SERVANT
WORKING OUT THERE?
I THINK SHE'S KIND OF CUTE.
I KNOW! IN A NERDY KIND OF WAY.
YEAH, I THINK SO TOO.YES-- REALLY HOT.
I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING KIND OF OFF ABOUT HER MAYBE.
REALLY? LIKE WHAT?
LIKE SHE'S NOT EXACTLY WHO SHE PRETENDS TO BE.
YOU'RE ONE TO TALK THERE, MAX.
OOH!
YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK OFF.
SO, WHAT'D YOU WANT ME TO WORK ON?
OH, OH, OH!
YOU JUST FUCKED IT. MM-MM.
MM. MAJOR PROJECT.
OKAY, AND YOU DON'T HAVE ANY PROGRAM
TO MAKE MY BOOBS LOOK SMALLER?
NO.
OKAY, GO. ONE LAST TIME.
OKAY, HERE IT IS.
[SING-SONG THEME]: * ALICE IN LESBOLAND! *
HI. THIS IS ALICE PIESZECKI,
AND THIS IS A VERY, VERY SPECIAL EDITION
OF ALICE IN LESBOLAND.
I'VE GOT A LITTLE BEEF THAT I NEED TO TALK ABOUT.
UM, I WAS INVITED
TO A PARTY OVER THE WEEKEND.
I WAS VERY EXCITED, I GOT ALL DRESSED UP,
AND I MET
A FABULOUS, SUPER-NICE,
FLAMING HOMOSEXUAL MAN NAMED DARYL BREWER.
RING A BELL?
I GUESS HE'S A--
HE'S A BIG SPORTS SOMEBODY.
I DON'T KNOW, PLAYS A LITTLE B-BALL.
DON'T ASK ME.
SO EVEN THOUGH I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO,
I TOOK THIS-- THIS, UH, LITTLE VIDEO OF HIM.
YOU CAN ROLL THAT.
OKAY, SO YOU CAN IMAGINE, YOU KNOW--
IT GETS ME EVERY TIME.
I'M WAKING UP IN THE MORNING
AND I SEE THIS, DARYL ON T.V.,
SAYING THIS ON THE NATIONAL NEWS.
ROLL IT.
I DON'T WANT ANY FAGGOTS IN THE LOCKER ROOM
LOOKING AT ME
OR BRUSHING UP AGAINST ME ON THE COURT.
I DON'T LIKE GAY PEOPLE, SO I LET IT BE KNOWN.
ALL RIGHT, I'M LETTING IT BE KNOWN, MR. BREWER,
THAT YOU'RE A HOMO.
YES. AND A HYPOCRITE.
YES, YOU ARE.
I LOVE THAT PART.
AND I'M ALICE PIESZECKI,
AND THIS IS ALICE IN LESBOLAND,
AND I'M OUT.
SO YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS?
OH, MY GOD, PUT IT UP.
LET'S GO.
LAUNCH IT. WHAT DO YOU DO?
OKAY.
JUST UPLOAD.
[HITS KEYS]
[ALICE]: ALL RIGHT.
[MAX]: THERE IT GOES.
YOO!
[**]
* GIDDY-UP, HORSEY
* COME ON, LET GO
* TAKE OFF YOUR KNICKERS BABY *
* BE HEARD
[INTERCOM RINGING]
* GIDDY-UP, HORSEY
[CINDI]: HELLO?
HEY.
COME ON UP.
HEY.
[KNOCKING]
HELLO.
[MUSIC BEGINS TO PLAY]
YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?
NICE SHOES.
HI. HI.
I'M GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
I'M GOOD.
YEAH?
WHERE'S DAWN?
I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND,
BUT I KIND OF WANT YOU ALL TO MYSELF.
BUT I THOUGHT YOU DID EVERYTHING TOGETHER, RIGHT?
ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU SAID?
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
MM.
SHE'LL BE FINE, REALLY.
LOOK, WE HAVE A VERY OPEN RELATIONSHIP.
YEAH, BUT IF I RECALL,
I THINK DAWN WAS PRETTY CLEAR ON THE RULES, RIGHT?
OH...
SO, DO ME A FAVOR.
CALL HER, GET HER OVER HERE,
THEN WE CAN ALL BRING SEXY BACK TOGETHER.
SHE'S AT WORK.
CINDI, I DON'T WANT DRAMA,
SO, PLEASE, IN THE SPIRIT OF FULL-DISCLOSURE, WOULD YOU--
WHAT?
GET HER ON THE PHONE.
WHAT'S THE DEAL?
I MEAN, YOU LIKE HER BETTER THAN ME, IS THAT IT?
NO, NO. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
THEN WHAT?
YOU MADE THE RULES. I DIDN'T.
OH, THAT'S SO NICE OF YOU.
I CAN'T.
ALL RIGHT, DO YOU WANT TO FUCK ME OR NOT?
HMM?
WHAT?
WHOA.
* I CAME HERE IN A STATE OF GRAY *
* I DON'T NEED SALVATION TELL ME WHAT TO PRAY *
* 'CAUSE I'M NOT GONNA BE YOUR FUTURE *
* WHEN I CRAWL UP I WANNA BE A KILLER *
HEY, KIT.
DID YOU KNOW THAT THOSE SHEBAR GIRLS
ARE SERVING BREAKFAST AND COFFEE DOWN THE STREET?
I THOUGHT THEY SAID THEY WERE JUST GOING TO DO NIGHTLIFE.
WELL, APPARENTLY NIGHTLIFE IS NOW IN THE DAY,
AND IT INVOLVES BAGELS AND LATTES.
AND IT HAD A DRIVE-THRU WINDOW.
WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
NO. GIRL, THAT WAS MY IDEA.
I TOLD THAT DAWN DENBO THAT I WAS THINKING ABOUT
HAVING ONE OF THEM THINGS PUT IN.
REALLY?
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
YEAH.
HEY, MAX. WHAT'S UP?
REALLY?
OKAY, THANKS.
HEY, KIT, CAN I USE YOUR TV?
CAN WE PUT IT ON?
UM, YEAH. YEAH.
UM, CHANNEL 11.
[TV CLICKS ON]
[SURFING THROUGH CHANNELS]
YEAH.
AND HERE HE IS,
DARYL BREWER IN FRONT OF HIS MICHIGAN HOME.
I CAN ONLY APOLOGIZE TO MY FAMILY AND MY FRIENDS
AND TEAMMATES
AND ASK FOR THE LORD'S FORGIVENESS.
I'M GOING TO TAKE THIS TIME
TO BE WITH MY LOVED ONES
AND TO SEEK THE HELP THAT I NEED.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.
[CLAMORING]
OH, MY GOD!
BUT IT WASN'T UNTIL AN ONLINE JOURNALIST,
ALICE PIESZECKI--
[GASPING]: THEY KNOW MY NAME!
POSTED FOOTAGE OF BREWER ON HER GAY WEBSITE, OURCHART--
OH, MY GOD! GIRL, LOOK AT YOU.
...ENGAGED IN INTIMATE ACTS WITH ANOTHER MAN,
THAT THIS STORY HAS RECEIVED NATIONAL ATTENTION.
THE CLIP WAS QUICKLY UPLOADED ONTO YOUTUBE,
WHERE IT HAD AN ESTIMATED 500,000 HITS
WITHIN THE FIRST TWO HOURS AFTER IT WAS POSTED.
NO COMMENT FROM BREWER
ON THE IDENTITY OF THE MAN HE WAS KISSING.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT DARYL BREWER IS GAY!
OH!
OH, MY GOD,
I HAVE, LIKE, 500 NEW MESSAGES.
WHAT?
MOVE THE CRANE SHOT TO THE BEGINNING OF THE DAY.
OH, YEAH, AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
JENNY STILL HASN'T MET
WITH THE PRODUCTION DESIGNER.
WE REALLY NEED THAT TO HAPPEN, OKAY?
AND, YOU KNOW, COULD YOU BE THERE TO TAKE NOTES?
TINA? TINA, TINA, TINA.
TINA, GUESS WHO HAD THE MOST AMAZING IDEA.
GUESS WHO SHOULD BE IN THE MOVIE?
SOUNDER II.
HE'S SO CUTE, HE'S PERFECT.
TOTALLY.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
YOU KNOW, JENNY,
DOGS CAN BE REALLY DIFFICULT FOR A PRODUCTION.
THEY CAN MAKE YOU GO A LOT LONGER,
IT COSTS A LOT MORE.
THEY HAVE THESE SPECIALLY TRAINED,
CAMERA-READY DOGS ANYWAY WHEN THEY DO USE THE DOGS,
AND I DON'T KNOW
IF SOUNDER'S READY FOR THAT.
WELL, HE THINKS HE'S READY FOR IT,
SO I'M GOING TO GET SALLY
TO GET HIM
HIS TEMPORARY WORKING PAPERS.
YEAH, SALLY WILL LOVE IT.
OH, TOTALLY! IT'S SUCH A GOOD IDEA.
SALLY HAS, LIKE, 10 DOGS.
DID YOU MEET SALLY'S MALTESE?
WELL, AT LEAST THE TWO OF THEM
ARE GETTING ALONG.
HOW'D THAT HAPPEN?
WE HAVE ADELE
TO THANK FOR THAT.
REALLY?
MM-HMM.
HOW DID YOU DO IT? JENNY HATED HER.
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.
I DIDN'T REALLY-- I DIDN'T REALLY DO ANYTHING.
I JUST-- I KNEW
THAT JENNY KNEW
HOW MUCH NIKI WANTED THE ROLE,
AND THAT IT CAME OUT OF PERSONAL CONVICTION,
BECAUSE SHE RELATES SO--
YOU SAVED THE PICTURE, KID.
ADELE,
CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND?
UM, FIRST OF ALL, I JUST, UH,
I WANT TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE WHAT YOU DID,
FINESSING THE SITUATION WITH JENNY AND NIKI.
IT TOOK A LOT OF INITIATIVE,
AND, GOD, I JUST THINK
YOU'RE GOING TO BE
A GREAT ASSET TO PRODUCTION.
I DO.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
I JUST, UM,
I JUST WANT TO CONTRIBUTE IN ANY WAY THAT I CAN.
WELL, THAT'S GREAT,
BECAUSE, UM, YOU KNOW, JENNY'S A FIRST-TIME DIRECTOR,
AND SOMETIMES, FIRST-TIME DIRECTORS,
THEY CAN GET DISTRACTED
OR CAUGHT UP IN THE WRONG THINGS,
AND IT WOULD BE GREAT
IF YOU COULD JUST KEEP ME APPRISED OF ANYTHING
THAT YOU MIGHT THINK MIGHT BE AN ISSUE FOR PRODUCTION.
DO YOU-- DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT ME TO SPY?
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.
I WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO BETRAY ANY CONFIDENCES.
JUST GIVE ME A HEADS-UP
IF YOU SEE ANY POTENTIAL PROBLEMS.
THAT'S ALL.
FOR JENNY'S BENEFIT.
OKAY. YEAH.
YEAH.
ABSOLUTELY. JUST FOR JENNY.
YEAH. I'M HERE TO HELP, SO, THAT'S GREAT.
GREAT. I'M COUNTING ON YOU.
THANKS.
[LINE RINGING]
TASHA WILLIAMS. LEAVE A MESSAGE.
HEY, TASH, IT'S ME. HI.
I REALLY-- I'VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU ALL DAY,
AND I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY NEED TO TALK TO YOU,
BECAUSE I AM BEING ASKED TO GO ON CROSSFIREBALL,
OR I DON'T KNOW. WHATEVER.
AND I POSTED THAT VIDEO OF THAT GUY, BREWER,
AND, UM, YEAH, IT WENT VIRAL,
AND IT'S CRAZY,
AND ALL THESE NEWS ORGANIZATIONS WANT TO TALK TO ME,
SO I NEED TO TALK TO YOU,
BECAUSE I NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU WANT ME TO SAY.
OKAY, IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME, SO PLEASE CALL ME BACK.
WE'RE GOING TO GET THOSE FUCKERS.
WHOO! OKAY, I LOVE YOU.
CALL ME. BYE.
YES, I AM PROFESSIONAL.
YES, OKAY.
[RINGING]
HI, TINA?
HI.
HI, IT'S ME.
UM...
I JUST WANTED TO DOUBLE-CHECK
THAT YOU'D BE ABLE TO TAKE ANGIE THE WEEKEND OF THE FOURTH.
I THINK I MIGHT HAVE TO-- I MIGHT HAVE TO GO OUT OF TOWN.
UM...
WELL, I DON'T HAVE MY BOOK IN FRONT OF ME,
BUT I'M SURE IT WILL BE FINE.
OKAY.
GREAT.
IS THAT IT?
YEAH.
NO.
WELL... I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL. IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL.
I JUST... I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO,
BUT I KNOW YOU'RE BUSY.
NO, NO, NO, NO. WHAT?
NEVER MIND. IT'S OKAY.
WHAT IS IT?
[SIGHING]
WELL, THERE'S THIS...
MAJOR CONTROVERSY BREWING HERE,
BECAUSE JODI
LET ONE OF HER STUDENTS PERFORM
THIS PARTICULARLY PROVOCATIVE ART PIECE
AND NOW THE BOARD OF TRUSTEES
IS COMPLETELY UP IN ARMS,
AND JODI WANTS TO TALK TO THEM,
BUT I THINK IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA,
BECAUSE SHE'S BOUND TO TELL THEM ALL
WHAT A BUNCH OF ASSHOLES THEY ARE,
BUT IF SHE STARTS TALKING TO THEM,
IT'S JUST GOING TO EXACERBATE
THE WHOLE SITUATION,
AND, REALLY, THEY'RE GUNNING FOR HER.
LET HER SPEAK FOR HERSELF.
JODI'S A VERY CAPABLE PERSON.
AND VERY HOT-TEMPERED.
YEAH. LOOK.
I KNOW YOU WANT TO FIX EVERYTHING, OKAY?
BUT YOU JUST HAVE TO LET HER
FAIL OR SUCCEED
ALL ON HER OWN, OKAY?
OTHERWISE, IT'S JUST A DISASTER FOR BOTH OF YOU.
[SIGHING SOFTLY]
SO YOU'RE SAYING THAT I SHOULD STAY OUT OF IT?
YEAH.
SUPPORT HER, ADVISE HER,
BUT, OTHERWISE, LET HER DEAL WITH IT HERSELF.
OKAY.
OKAY, I'M SORRY TO TALK YOUR EAR OFF.
I'M...
I JUST NEED SOMEBODY TO TALK TO.
NO, THAT'S FINE.
LOOK, I'VE GOT TO GO.
I HAVE A MEETING.
RIGHT. RIGHT.
I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.
OKAY. BYE.
BYE.
[**]
[JENNY]: I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO MEET
THE ACTRESS PLAYING SHAUN.
IS SHE A 10?
OKAY, HERE'S ALL THE EXTENSION CORDS I HAVE.
GOOD. ADELE'S JUST OUT BACK OR OUT IN THE FRONT,
PUTTING UP THE LIGHTS.
HEY, JENNY--
HOW'S EVERYTHING WORKING OUT WITH HER, ANYWAY?
GREAT.
SHE'S SO GOOD.
I MEAN, I JUST DON'T--
IMAGINE WHAT LIFE WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE WITHOUT HER.
BECAUSE I HAVE TO SAY, YOU KNOW,
SOMETHING WASN'T QUITE SITTING RIGHT WITH ME ABOUT HER,
SO I, UM, DID A LITTLE BACKGROUND CHECK ON HER.
OKAY. SO?
REMEMBER HOW SHE SAID HER MOM
WAS HOSPITALIZED FROM '86 TO '92?
MM-HMM.
AND THAT HER DAD WAS A TRAVELLING SALESMAN?
RIGHT.
WELL, OKAY, SHE SAID HE WAS OUT ON THE ROAD
THE WHOLE TIME
SHE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL, RIGHT?
YEAH?
THEN SHE SAID
HE HURT HIS BACK IN A FACTORY ACCIDENT.
I MEAN, I DON'T GET IT.
MAX, I DON'T NEED TO KNOW THIS SHIT
BEFORE FESTIVITIES BEGIN.
I GOT TO SAY, I LIKE ADELE.
I JUST THINK SHE'S A SWEETHEART.
YEAH, I KNOW.
IT'S JUST I JUST CHECKED OUT HER STORY A LITTLE BIT,
AND, UM, THE HOSPITAL SHE SAID HER MOM WAS IN FROM '86 TO '92--
THE BIRDWELL SANITARIUM--
IT CLOSED IN '87.
WELL, I'M GOING TO ASSUME
THAT'S BECAUSE
IT WAS A TROUBLING TIME IN HER LIFE
AND HER MEMORY'S NOT THAT CLEAR ON IT.
YEAH, MAX.
MAYBE. ADELE!
ADELE, COME HERE. JENNY, DON'T TELL HER.
DON'T. COME ON!
ADELE! YEAH, YEAH, YEAH?
WHAT IS IT?
MAX THINKS THAT THERE'S SOMETHING
REALLY SUSPICIOUS ABOUT YOU,
BECAUSE HE SAID THAT THE SANITARIUM
THAT YOU SAID YOUR MOTHER WAS IN
WHILE SHE WAS SICK
WAS ACTUALLY CLOSED.
ADELE, IT'S NOT LIKE
I WAS CHECKING UP ON YOU OR ANYTHING.
I WAS RESEARCHING SOMETHING FOR ALICE,
AND I RAN ACROSS THIS THING--
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
I WANTED TO CLEAR THE AIR, YOU KNOW?
YEAH, THAT'S TOTALLY FINE.
I MEAN, I GET WHY IT WOULD BE CONFUSING.
UM...
MY MOM WAS-- SHE WAS AT BIRDWELL,
BUT SHE-- WHEN SHE TRIED TO--
SORRY.
OH...
SHE...
WE HAD TO TAKE HER TO A HIGH-SECURITY INSTITUTION,
DOWN IN WINTER PARK.
SO, I DON'T KNOW,
MAYBE BIRDWELL CLOSED DOWN AFTER THAT.
I DON'T KNOW.
OKAY.
I'M GOING TO GO FINISH.
JUST GO FINISH HANGING THE LIGHTS.
NOW THAT WAS SOME GOOD THINKING.
[MALE DIRECTOR]: OKAY, EVERYBODY SETTLE.
WE'RE BACK IN FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO...
MS. PIESZECKI, WHY DID YOU FEEL COMPELLED
TO POST THE FOOTAGE YOU SHOT OF DARYL BREWER
ON THE INTERNET?
OH, WELL, ORIGINALLY, I DIDN'T VIDEOTAPE HIM
WITH THE INTENTION OF OUTTING HIM,
IT WAS MORE OF A PERSONAL-- NOW, IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE
THAT YOU WEREN'T SEEKING NOTORIETY
BY FILMING HIM
AND THEN POSTING THE FOOTAGE ON YOUR WEBSITE.
NO, I-- NO.
I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS VERY MEAN,
WHAT HE SAID ABOUT GAY PEOPLE--
THAT'S FREEDOM OF SPEECH.
THAT'S HIS PREROGATIVE, TO SAY WHATEVER HE WANTS TO,
BUT IT'S A VIOLATION
OF HIS PRIVACY
IF YOU'RE GOING TO VIDEOTAPE HIM
WHEN HE DOESN'T THINK HE'S BEING WATCHED,
AND THEN HAVE IT PUT UP ON THE WORLD WIDE WEB!
NO, I-- I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD GET SO BIG.
YOU NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD GET SO BIG?
YOU'RE AN INTERNET JOURNALIST,
AND YOU DIDN'T REALIZE THE POWER OF THE NET?
COME ON!
I MEAN, THESE THINGS GO VIRAL IN AN INSTANT.
IT DESTROYS CAREERS!
IMUS, ISAIAH WASHINGTON, YOU KNOW, THE LIST GOES ON!
YEAH, BUT IT WASN'T LIKE THAT--
DO YOU REGRET WHAT YOU DID,
MS. PIESZECKI?
DO YOU CARE THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE DESTROYED
THIS MAN'S FAMILY? I DON'T BUY THAT--
WAIT A MINUTE!
WHY SHOULD I FEEL BAD FOR HURTING THIS GUY?
I MEAN, WHEN HE'S HURTING ME AND MILLIONS OF OTHER GAY PEOPLE
BY SAYING SUCH HATEFUL COMMENTS?
YEAH, BUT THE BOTTOM LINE IS--
HE STARTED THIS
BY SAYING AWFUL THINGS IN THE FIRST PLACE!
SO, YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE IT UPON YOURSELF
TO GO AFTER-- NO, I'M TALKING!
I'M NOT FINISHED!
LISTEN.
GAY PEOPLE ARE BASHED
AND-- AND HARASSED
AND KILLED EVERY DAY,
AND THEN YOU'VE GOT THIS GUY, WHO'S GAY HIMSELF,
AND HE'S SAYING THIS GARBAGE?
IT'S DISGUSTING!
I TOTALLY RESPECT
SOMEONE'S CHOICE TO STAY IN THE CLOSET, I DO.
IF THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT TO DO, I GET IT,
BUT I DON'T THINK IT'S OKAY
TO KISS YOUR BOYFRIEND ONE DAY
AND THEN GO OUT AND TRASH GAY PEOPLE THE NEXT--
ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE A PUBLIC FIGURE
AND YOU HAVE PEOPLE LOOKING UP TO YOU!
SO, NO, I DON'T FEEL BAD.
I DO NOT FEEL BAD ABOUT WHAT I DID.
WELL, SHE'S GOT A GOOD POINT, PAT.
UH, I'D LIKE TO ACTUALLY GO BACK
TO WHAT WE SPOKE ABOUT EARLIER,
IF WE COULD.
[**]
I HAVE AN IDEA.
YEAH?
YEAH.
WHY DON'T WE JUST SKIP THE PARTY?
YOU JUST DON'T WANT TO GIVE JENNY THE SATISFACTION.
NO, THAT'S NOT IT.
I'M LETTING THAT GO.
JENNY CAN DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS WITH HER SILLY MOVIE.
I'M COMPLETELY DETACHED FROM THE NOTION
THAT IT HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH MY LIFE.
IT IS FICTION.
FICTION.
[SIGHING]
I WOULD RATHER STAY HERE WITH YOU.
I'VE BEEN MISSING YOU...
WITH ALL THIS NONSENSE AT WORK.
I THINK WE NEED TO RECONNECT.
HEY.
YEAH?
I WANT TO DANCE.
YOU WANT TO DANCE?
YEAH.
OH, CHRIST.
LET'S GO TO THE PARTY FOR A LITTLE WHILE,
THEN WE'LL COME HOME AND CONNECT.
OKAY? OKAY?
I WANT TO CHANGE MY CLOTHES.
* IT AIN'T NO BIG THING
* I WENT TO A PARTY LAST SATURDAY NIGHT *
HOW ARE YOU? HI.
GOOD. HI!
THIS IS FOR YOU. TO GET THE PARTY STARTED.
OH. SO SWEET.
THANK YOU.
COME TO THE BACK.
I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
* I KNOW WHAT I LIKE
* I KNOW I LIKE DANCING WITH YOU *
THANK YOU.
SO YOU'RE PLAYING SHAUN?
YEAH.
GOOD. CONGRATULATIONS.
THANKS.
YOU KNOW, I'M... NOT GAY.
OKAY.
I HAVE A BOYFRIEND.
GOOD FOR YOU.
I JUST PLAY GAY.
RIGHT.
"GAY FOR PAY."
[SNICKERING]
THAT'S CUTE.
HI! BETTE!
[BETTE]: HI, JENNY.
HI!
HELLO, JODI! MWAH!
CONGRATULATIONS.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
YOU GUYS WANT SOMETHING TO DRINK?
[BETTE]: JODI, DO YOU WANT A DRINK?
SURE.
ADELE! MAKE THEM SOMETHING GREAT.
THANK YOU.
BYE!
* I KNOW I LIKE DANCING WITH YOU *
* NOW I KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE *
CHEERS.
[**]
[GASPS]: OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD! HI!
HOW ARE YOU?
IT'S SO NICE TO SEE YOU!
YOU HAVE TO MEET "ALYSSE."
LOOK! IS THIS--?
YES! OH! OH...
WOW! HI. I'M SUSAN.
OH. ALICE.
PLAYING ALYSSE, PLAYING ALICE.
WOW. WOW!
YOU? REALLY?
YEAH!
GOD. OH! ALICE.
HOW YOU DOING?
GOOD. I DON'T SEE IT.
I KNOW, I CAN CHANGE HAIR?
NO, NO, NO, NO-- IT'S JUST...
I HAVE SOME IDEAS.
I WAS ACTUALLY GOING TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOU
THROUGH JENNY.
I DON'T KNOW IF...
IF YOU'RE OPEN TO IT, OR...
TOTALLY OPEN.
OKAY.
I'M, LIKE, A WIDE OPEN CLAM HERE.
YEAH. YEAH. GOOD.
[**]
* I'M YOUR VOODOO DOLL
* I PUT A SPELL ON YOU
* HOW CAN THIS BE WRONG
* WHEN IT FEELS SO GOOD?
* YEAH
HEY.
HI.
* NO MERCY, NO PLEASURE NO SIN *
* I STAND GUILTY
* LOVING YOU AGAIN
HI.
THANKS FOR TALKING TO ME EARLIER TODAY.
IT'S FINE.
IT WAS FINE.
I MEAN, I KNOW IT'S AWKWARD,
AND I JUST FELT REALLY, REALLY STUPID.
NO-- TINA!
HI.
HI! ISABELLA.
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.
YEAH, THANKS FOR COMING.
ISABELLA PERKINS, THIS IS BETTE PORTER.
HI.
IT'S REALLY NICE TO MEET YOU.
I'M SUCH A FAN OF YOUR WORK.
OH, MY GOD. BETTE!
I SHOULD HAVE RECOGNIZED YOU FROM YOUR PHOTOS.
I'VE BEEN RESEARCHING YOU ONLINE.
IT'S SO WONDERFUL TO MEET YOU!
YOU'VE BEEN RESEARCHING ME?
MM, ISABELLA IS PLAYING BEV
IN LEZ GIRLS.
[LAUGHING]
WOW. UH, GOD.
I MEAN, I KNEW THAT YOU WERE IN THE MOVIE,
I-I JUST DIDN'T REALIZE THAT YOU WERE GOING TO BE PLAYING
JENNY'S WARPED INTERPRETATION OF ME.
IT MUST BE DIFFICULT FOR YOU--
TO HAVE YOUR LIFE AND RELATIONSHIPS EXAMINED.
NO, IT'S FINE.
IT'S FICTION, RIGHT?
I MEAN, IT'S FICTION. IT'S FICTION.
FICTION.
IT'S SO IMPORTANT FOR ACTORS
TO GET TO THE TRUTH.
I WAS HOPING YOU COULD HELP ME WITH MY "WHYS"?
YOUR "WHYS"?
MM-HMM.
I CAN SEE
YOU ARE AN INCREDIBLY PASSIONATE AND ACCOMPLISHED WOMAN.
YOU KNOW, YOU'VE WORKED HARD TO GET WHERE YOU ARE.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE BOLD AND UNCOMPROMISING
IN YOUR VISION
AND YOUR APPROACH TO LIFE,
YOU'VE GOT A GREAT MARRIAGE...
TO A KIND
AND GENEROUS PARTNER--
YOU KNOW WHAT, BELLA?
I DON'T KNOW IF THE PARTY
IS THE PLACE TO REALLY--
BUT SOMETHING IS WRONG.
WHY?
I MEAN, WHAT IS IT IN BEV
THAT SEEKS TO SABOTAGE EVERYTHING SHE'S BUILT?
WHY DOES SHE CHEAT WITH THE PLUMBER?
DOES SHE SERIOUSLY THINK THAT JENNY'S IDIOTIC DRIVEL
IS REFLECTIVE OF ME AND MY LIFE, AT ALL?
I CAN'T ANSWER YOUR FUCKING "WHYS."
YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE IT'S NOT ME.
IT'S NOT ME.
AND APART FROM ANYTHING ELSE--
I AM FRANKLY... FUCKING FLABBERGASTED--
I AM FLABBERGASTED
THAT SHE CAST SUCH A WHITE ACTRESS--
SHE'S WHITE. OKAY?
WAS MARY-FUCKING-POPPINS NOT AVAILABLE?
I MEAN, REALLY, WHAT THE FUCK CAN SHE POSSIBLY KNOW
ABOUT MY LIFE?
WHAT CAN SHE KNOW?
IS SHE BLACK?
THANK YOU.
BETTE, CAN I JUST--
[MOUTHS WORDS] I WANT TO GO.
EXCUSE ME.
I WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
YOU'RE FLIRTING WITH HER.
I'M HAVING A GOOD TIME.
WITH THAT HELENA CLONE?
I'M NOT FLIRTING WITH HER.
I'M JUST TALKING WITH HER. SHE'S NICE AND INTERESTING.
SHE'S ALL OVER YOU.
YOU'RE INSANE.
SHE'S THE STRAIGHTEST PERSON I'VE EVER MET.
I WAS TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO HER HOW LESBIAN SEX WORKS.
PLUS, SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND.
CHILL OUT.
WELL, I'M LEAVING.
FINE.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
FINE!
BETTE. I'M SO SORRY.
I HAD NO IDEA THAT ISABELLA WOULD BLINDSIDE US LIKE THAT.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
THE THING IS...
SHE'S NOT WRONG.
I STILL DON'T HAVE ANY ANSWERS TO ANY OF HER "WHYS."
I DON'T.
WHAT HAPPENED THE OTHER NIGHT,
IT WAS A MISTAKE.
OKAY?
IT SHOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED.
[STAMMERING]: I KNOW, I KNOW.
WE JUST GOT CAUGHT UP IN A MOMENT.
YES. IT'S JUST NOT GOING TO HAPPEN AGAIN.
NO. NO.
OF COURSE NOT.
ARE YOU...
ARE YOU SORRY THAT IT DID?
YES. I AM.
ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH JODI?
YES. I AM.
I WAS TRYING TO GET TASHA
ON THE PHONE ALL DAY
TO TELL HER ABOUT IT,
COULDN'T GET HER, ON THE CELL PHONE,
THINKING-- "GET ON THE PHONE."
HEY, DO YOU WANT ONE?
NO, I'M GOOD, THANKS.
HEY, LISTEN, THEY'RE NOT GAY. I PROMISE.
OH, MY GOD--
WHAT IF THEY WERE GAY?
WHAT IF OUR BROWNIES WERE GAY?
THEY'RE ALL FUCKING EACH OTHER.
YOU'RE HOT!
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[LAUGHING]
[**]
I'M FINE!
[**]
* OOH!
* LET ME TELL YA NOW
* UH-HUH
* WHEN I HAD YOU TO MYSELF *
* I DIDN'T WANT YOU AROUND
* THOSE PRETTY FACES
* ALWAYS MADE YOU STAND OUT IN A CROWD *
* BUT SOMEONE PICKED YOU FROM THE BUNCH *
* ONE GLANCE WAS ALL IT TOOK *
* NOW IT'S MUCH TOO LATE
* TO TAKE A SECOND LOOK
* OH! BABY, GIVE ME
* ONE MORE CHANCE
* WON'T YOU PLEASE LET ME BACK IN YOUR HEART? *
* OH, DARLIN'
* I WAS BLIND TO LET YOU GO
* BUT NOW SINCE I SEE YOU IN HIS ARMS *
* I WANT YOU BACK YES, I DO NOW *
* BABY
* YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH
* NA, NA, NA, NA
* TRYIN' TO LIVE WITHOUT YOUR LOVE *
* IS ONE LONG, SLEEPLESS NIGHT *
* LET ME SHOW YOU, GIRL
* THAT I KNOW WRONG FROM RIGHT *
* OH, EVERY STREET YOU WALK ON *
* I LEAVE TEARSTAINS ON THE GROUND *
* FOLLOWING THE GIRL I DIDN'T EVEN WANT AROUND *
* OH, BABY, ALL I NEED IS ONE MORE CHANCE *
* WON'T YOU PLEASE LET ME BACK IN YOUR HEART? *
* OH, DARLIN', I WAS BLIND TO LET YOU GO *
* LET YOU GO, BABY
* BUT, NOW, SINCE I SEE YOU IN HIS ARMS *
* BUH-BUM
* BUH-BUM, BUM, BUM
* ALL I WANT
* A-BUH, BUH, BUH BUH
* ALL I NEED
* A-BUH, BUH, BUH, BUH SHANE!
* ALL I WANT
SHANE!
WHOO-HOO!
* ALL I--
[STEREO POWERS DOWN]
[DAWN]: HEY, SHANE!
YEAH. HEY. HOW ARE YOU DOING?
CINDI.
OH? CINDI, NO.
I'M FUCKING DAWN DENBO,
AND THIS IS MY LOVER, CINDI.
YEAH.
[DAWN]: I'M TALKING TO YOU.
I'M TELLING YOU, YOU'VE GONE
AND MESSED THE WRONG BI--
DON'T LOOK AT HER!
YOU'VE MESSED WITH THE WRONG BITCH, BITCH.
YOU FUCKING COME INTO MY HOUSE
AND FUCK MY BEAUTIFUL GIRLFRIEND
WITHOUT EVEN THE COURTESY OF INVITING ME--
CINDI, YOU SAID IT WAS OKAY!
STOP. BUT--
SERIOUSLY, I'M THIS CLOSE.
YOU SAID THAT IT WAS FINE.
YOU SAID IT WAS-- WHAT THE FUCK!
WAIT, YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT--
MY BABY-- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM? AN IDIOT?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I WAS BORN YESTERDAY?
[BOTH SNICKERING]
OH, MOTHERFUCKER. OKAY.
THAT'S FUNNY.
THAT-- THAT IS.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO?
BABE, JUST FOR YOU?
I AM GOING TO FUCKING RUIN YOU.
OKAY? AND EVERY ONE
OF YOUR SMUG-ASS MOTHERFUCKING FRIENDS.
AND YOU-- I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU,
BUT YOU'RE GOING DOWN, TOO.
HOW ABOUT THAT?
YES, YOU ARE. YEAH.
AND THE STUPID-ASS FUCKING PLANET?
DONE.
ALL RIGHT? IT'S ALL DONE.
YEAH. OH, THAT'S GOOD, GO AHEAD AND BE SMART-ASS.
AND LET ME TELL YOU ONE MORE THING.
KEEP THOSE SKINNY FUCKING HANDS OF YOURS
TO YOURSELF, ALL RIGHT?
IT'S ON, ALL RIGHT?
IT'S FUCKING ON.
CINDI!
I'M SO SORRY.
[DAWN]: CINDI!
I DIDN'T MEAN TO GET YOU IN CRAP.
OW!
TURN THE MUSIC BACK UP!
WHO WAS THAT?
SHE-- THOSE ARE THE TWO GIRLS THAT OWN SHEBAR.
OH! OH!
[**]
[LAUGHING]
WAIT, WAIT. OKAY, BE SERIOUS.
WANT TO DO ME?
I'LL GET TO YOU.
I DON'T GET THAT.
LIKE, I MEAN,
I KNOW THAT THEY MEET ON A COUCH
AND THEY HAVE, LIKE,
THIS, LIKE, INTENSE CONVERSATION ABOUT BOOKS,
AND I KNOW THAT, BUT...
WHAT?
I MEAN, THEN THEY JUST GO TO THE BATHROOM
AND START GETTING IT ON?
TOTALLY!
COME ON! IT'S SO CHEESY!
OH, MY GOD. FUCK O-- NO!
YES, IT IS, IT'S, LIKE, CINEMAX--
OH, SORRY, CINEMA--
IT'S TRUE!
OH, MY GOD, I JUST HAD THE MOST AWESOME IDEA.
OKAY, YOU'VE GOT TO GO OVER THERE.
GO OVER THERE.
RIGHT HERE?
YEAH, YEAH, OKAY,
WE'RE GOING TO FUCKING WORKSHOP THE SCENE!
NOW?
YES, NOW! OKAY, OKAY.
JUST YOU PUT YOUR HANDS OVER YOUR FACE.
OKAY, YOU'VE GOT TO BE SERIOUS. OKAY.
OKAY. YOU ARE JESSE.
TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF YOUR FACE
AND TRANSFORM.
GO FOR IT. GO!
[GIGGLING]
NO, COME ON! BE JESSE. BE SERIOUS.
OKAY, YOU HAVE JUST MET
THE MOST ALLURING--
[SNICKERING]
OH, HEY, COME ON!
JUST BE SERIOUS.
SO, LIKE, I'M GONNA-- YEAH, BE SERIOUS.
OKAY, KARINA AND--
OKAY, SO, LIKE, YOU'RE SITTING ACROSS FROM THIS WOMAN
AND SHE'S, LIKE, THE MOST ALLURING,
INTOXICATING WOMAN OF YOUR WHOLE LIFE.
SHE'S, LIKE, TALKING
ABOUT, LIKE, FUCKING SILVER WATER,
AND YOU'RE, LIKE, JUST GOING INSANE,
AND YOUR, LIKE, HEART IS, LIKE, IN YOUR THROAT,
AND THEN YOU REMEMBER.
YOU HAVE THIS MAN,
NAMED JIM,
WHO LIKES TO SWIM,
AND YOU'RE JUST, LIKE--
[SNORTS]
"WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?"
YEAH, BUT YOU HAVE TO--
TWO EMOTIONS.
OKAY. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO BE?
OKAY, I'M GOING TO BE ME.
OKAY, KARINA AND JESSE?
[SNICKERING]
[LAUGHING]: I HAVE TO PEE!
[CONTINUES LAUGHING]
THIS--
[IN EUROPEAN ACCENT]: IS WHEN SHE COMES INTO THE BATHROOM,
AND SHE'S LOOKING AT YOU,
AND THEN...
SHE TAKES YOU,
AND SHE TURNS YOU AROUND
AND SHE PUSHES YOU
AGAINST THE WALL...
[REGULAR VOICE]: AND THEN SHE KISSES YOU.
[GIGGLES]
[**]
SEE? NOW YOU HAVE TO GO.
OR... JESSE STAYS.
NIKI STAYS.
[**]
[LAUGHING]
WHOA! NO, NO, NO, NO!
WHO'S IN THERE?
OH, FUCK.
IT HAS NO LOCK.
WHERE'S MY--
THERE'S NO LOCK.
[NIKI SQUEALING]
* ONCE I HAD A GIRLFRIEND
* SHE MADE MY HEART JUST WANT TO DANCE *
* SHE COULDN'T STAY INSIDE
* SHE'LL MAKE YOU OPEN UP YOUR EYES *
* UNTIL YOU CRIED YOURSELF ALL OVER *
* AND THROW YOUR HANDS UP IN THE SKY *
* TO BE BY HER SIDE
* I'LL DO ANYTHING
* JUST TO MAKE HER STAY
* TO MAKE HER STAY
* STAY
* CAN'T PRETEND UNTIL YOU'RE MINE *
* WILL I EVER KNOW
* CAN'T DENY THE ONE OUTSIDE JUST LEAVES US THOUGH *
* CAN'T PRETEND UNTIL YOU'RE MINE *
* NO, NO, NO, NO
TAKE IT OFF!
* I CAN'T PROMISE THE ONE OUTSIDE *
* JUST LEAVES US THOUGH
FUCK YOU!
I TOTALLY HAVE THESE SHOES.
YOU DO?
I GOT THEM ON SALE.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
THEY'RE MY DAISY DUKES.
WE'RE GOING TO FUCK IN A CLOSET.
THE IRONY HASN'T ESCAPED ME.
* OPEN UP MY EYES
* AND FINALLY LOOKED AROUND ME *
* WHEN I HEARD HER SOFTLY CRY *
* I CAN'T PRETEND THAT I-- I'LL DO ANYTHING *
* JUST TO MAKE HER STAY
* TO MAKE HER STAY
POOL PARTY!
SHUT UP!
* TO MAKE HER STAY
I USED TO FUCK IN THIS POOL.
FUCK IT!
WHO CARES?
USED TO BE MY POOL.
WHAT?
IT USED TO BE MY POOL.
LET'S GO SWIMMING!
YOU GUYS, I THINK I LOST MY BUZZ.
I'M GOING TO GO GET ANOTHER POT BROWNIE.
"IT'S ON," GIRLFRIEND!
[SHRIEKING]
[CACKLING]
[ALL SHRIEKING AND LAUGHING]
WHOO-HOO!
WAHOO!
[**]
* TO MAKE HER STAY
* STAY
* CAN'T PRETEND UNTIL YOU'RE MINE *
* WILL I EVER KNOW?
* CAN'T DENY THE ONE OUTSIDE
* JUST LEAVES US THOUGH
* CAN'T PRETEND UNTIL YOU'RE MINE *
* NO, NO, NO, NO
[LAUGHTER AND SHRIEKING FILTERING FROM OUTSIDE]
[DIALING]
[SHRIEKING]
[LINE RINGING]
I'D LIKE TO MAKE A NOISE COMPLAINT.
WHOO!
MY NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBOR.
OH, MY GOD. BABY.
WHERE'VE YOU BEEN?
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO CALL YOU ALL DAY.
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
DO WHAT?
OUT THAT GUY LIKE THAT.
YOU TURNED HIS WHOLE FUCKING LIFE UPSIDE-DOWN.
I DID THAT FOR YOU!
WHAT ARE YOU-- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
YOU SAID, "I HOPE THAT GUY GETS WHAT'S COMING TO HIM,"
SO I GAVE IT TO HIM.
YEAH, BUT IT'S NOT YOUR JOB
TO PUT HIS BUSINESS OUT THERE LIKE THAT.
WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE THAT MAN'S LIFE?
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S GOING THROUGH,
OR WHAT HIS CIRCUMSTANCES ARE.
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU OUTING HIM
AND THE MILITARY OUTING ME?
OH, MY GOD, THAT'S SO DIFFERENT!
NO, IT'S NOT DIFFERENT!
AND THEN YOU DO IT ON NATIONAL FUCKING TELEVISION!
I TRIED TO CALL YOU ALL DAY TO SEE IF THAT WAS ALL RIGHT.
HOW CAN THAT BE ALL RIGHT?
THAT'S-- THAT'S OUR PROBLEM.
YOU NEVER THINK!
I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF YOU TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT.
NO! SERIOUSLY, THOUGH.
LIKE, WHEN IS THIS GOING TO STOP?
AND NOW YOU'RE--
YOU'RE DOING TV INTERVIEWS,
AND YOU'VE GOT NEWSPAPERS CALLING,
AND YOU'RE LIKE THE BIG DEAL
ALL OF A SUDDEN. WHAT?
DID YOU EVER THINK THAT MIGHT NOT BE
THE MOST DISCREET THING TO DO
WHILE I'M PREPPING FOR MY HEARING?
YOU KNOW THAT THEY'RE WATCHING ME!
YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING HYPOCRITE!
YOU SAY YOU DON'T WANT
WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH TO CHANGE MY LIFE,
BUT THEN THE SECOND I DO SOMETHING THAT I WANT TO DO,
YOU GET MAD AT ME--
YOU'RE NOT GETTING MY POINT.
YOU KNOW, WE JUST SEE THINGS DIFFERENTLY.
WHY IS MY LIFE SUPPOSED TO STOP
BECAUSE YOU WANT TO LIVE IN A FUCKING CLOSET?
I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THAT BULLSHIT. YOU DID.
I AM ALLOWED TO SAY WHAT I WANT
AND DO WHAT I WANT
AND FUCKING OUT WHO I WANT
AND LOVE WHO I WANT
BECAUSE I LIVE IN THE GODDAMN U.S. OF FUCKING A!
AND I'M THE ONE OUT THERE FIGHTING
FOR YOUR RIGHT TO BE IGNORANT.
I CAN'T EVEN BE AROUND YOU RIGHT NOW.
OH, I CAN'T BE AROUND YOU!
FUCK YOU!
[SOFT MOANING]
[**]
[PHONE BEEPS]
HONEY.
UM...
I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD DRIVE.
NO, NO, NO, I'M JUST GONNA CALL A CAB...
OH.
[GIGGLING]
I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD DRIVE.
NO, I DON'T MIND DRIVING.
I'M NOT DRUNK.
NO, NO, NO.
YOU CAN SLEEP ON THE SOFA.
I'M CALLING A CAB. NO, NO.
YES. NO, I'M CALLING A CAB.
COME. COME ON. LET'S GO, LET'S GO.
NO, YOU'RE CRAZY.
I'M GONNA CALL A CAB.
[GIGGLES AND SNORTS]
[LAUGHING QUIETLY]
OOH.
WHAT?
NO, I'M NOT GONNA-- I'M NOT GONNA STAY HERE.
I'M GONNA GO.
YOU'VE GOT TO DRINK SOME WATER FIRST.
HUH?
DRINK WATER. DRINK WATER.
SIT DOWN. SIT DOWN.
I CAN'T STAY HERE.
[CHUCKLING]
DID YOU KNOW I USED TO LIVE HERE?
OKAY.
JESUS, THAT PARTY
WAS LIKE THE NINTH CIRCLE OF FUCKING HELL.
[FAUCET RUNNING]
[SIGHING]
SO DID THAT WOMAN EVER LET YOU GO?
I HAD A GREAT TIME.
UM, TINA GOT REALLY DRUNK.
[**]
* AND THE LEAVES ON THE GROUND *
* THEY'RE MUCH HEAVIER THAN SOUND *
[EXHALING DEEPLY]
I COULDN'T LET HER DRIVE.
* AND THEY STRETCH OUT TO THE SEA *
I'M GOING TO GET HER A PILLOW.
* AS FAR AS YOU FROM ME
* AND THE RED ROSE FOR STARLETS *
* AND THE WHITE ROSE FOR WISDOM *
* AND GOD ONLY ASKED FOR FRIENDS *
* AND GOD ONLY ASKED FOR SYMPATHY *
* BUT HE'S JUST AS BORED AS ANYONE *
* AS FRANTIC FOR SECURITY
* AND THE RED ROSE FOR STARLETS *
* AND THE WHITE ROSE FOR WISDOM *
* GIVE ME NAKED FLESH
YEAH!