1 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,367 PREVIOUSLY ON THE L WORD... 2 00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:13,067 [SHANE]: I'D HATE TO APPLY TO BE OUR ROOMMATE. 3 00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:14,133 AFTERNOON, LADIES. 4 00:00:14,167 --> 00:00:15,567 MARK WAYLAND HERE. 5 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,100 MY DIRECT-TO-VIDEO GIG PAYS. 6 00:00:17,133 --> 00:00:19,900 I CAN GIVE YOU FIRST, LAST, SECURITY, AND SIX MONTHS' RENT 7 00:00:19,933 --> 00:00:21,167 UPFRONT, IN CASH. 8 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:22,833 HAVE YOU EVER DONE T.O.E. BEFORE, KIT? 9 00:00:22,867 --> 00:00:23,900 UH, NO. 10 00:00:23,933 --> 00:00:25,567 WELCOME TO THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING. 11 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:27,933 BENJAMIN AND T.O.E. ARE GOING TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE. 12 00:00:27,967 --> 00:00:29,467 LADY WITH THE FLASHING EYES. 13 00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:31,267 HI. IT'S BETTE PORTER FOR HELENA PEABODY. 14 00:00:31,300 --> 00:00:33,133 NICE TO MEET YOU. 15 00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:34,067 OUR MUSEUM HAS A LONG-STANDING RELATIONSHIP 16 00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:35,500 WITH THE PEABODY FOUNDATION. 17 00:00:35,533 --> 00:00:37,233 WE ALWAYS FUNDED THE ARTS VERY GENEROUSLY. 18 00:00:37,267 --> 00:00:38,933 BUT I HOPE YOU'RE NOT SPEAKING IN THE PAST TENSE. 19 00:00:40,767 --> 00:00:42,567 I'M ALWAYS INTERESTED IN PEOPLE WITH SPECIAL SKILLS. 20 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,067 I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO. 21 00:00:44,100 --> 00:00:46,000 YOU'D BE MY NEW ASSISTANT. 22 00:00:46,033 --> 00:00:47,633 I DON'T GET IT. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? 23 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:55,600 DO YOU WANT TO DANCE? 24 00:00:57,667 --> 00:00:58,967 DON'T WORRY. 25 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,700 I'VE MADE LOVE TO A PREGNANT WOMAN BEFORE. 26 00:01:00,733 --> 00:01:02,067 NO! 27 00:01:02,067 --> 00:01:03,367 THIS IS MY BUDDY, GOMEY. 28 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:06,133 YOU SO FUCKING SCORED. 29 00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:07,333 WILL YOU CUT MY HAIR? 30 00:01:07,367 --> 00:01:08,867 [SCISSORS SNIP] 31 00:01:10,967 --> 00:01:13,067 [***] 32 00:01:17,533 --> 00:01:19,800 IT'S THE SECOND SET OF ELEVATORS TO THE RIGHT. 33 00:01:24,433 --> 00:01:26,067 HOLY SHIT. 34 00:01:26,067 --> 00:01:28,267 [***] 35 00:01:50,633 --> 00:01:53,167 [DIALING PHONE] 36 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,733 MARK, YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT I'M LOOKING AT. 37 00:02:03,100 --> 00:02:09,400 * GIRLS IN TIGHT DRESSES WHO DRAG WITH MUSTACHES * 38 00:02:09,433 --> 00:02:15,933 * CHICKS DRIVING FAST INGENUES WITH LONG LASHES * 39 00:02:15,967 --> 00:02:22,100 * WOMEN WHO LONG, LOVE, LUST WOMEN WHO GIVE * 40 00:02:22,133 --> 00:02:29,433 * THIS IS THE WAY IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE * 41 00:02:36,267 --> 00:02:37,867 * TALKING, LAUGHING LOVING, BREATHING * 42 00:02:37,900 --> 00:02:39,867 * FIGHTING, FUCKING CRYING, DRINKING * 43 00:02:39,900 --> 00:02:41,067 * WRITING, WINNING LOSING, CHEATING * 44 00:02:41,067 --> 00:02:42,567 * KISSING, THINKING, DREAMING 45 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:44,567 * THIS IS THE WAY... 46 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:47,400 * THIS IS THE WAY THAT WE LIVE * 47 00:02:47,433 --> 00:02:52,933 * IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE 48 00:02:52,967 --> 00:02:56,633 * AND LOVE * 49 00:03:07,300 --> 00:03:08,300 I CAN'T LIVE 50 00:03:08,333 --> 00:03:09,367 IN A STRANGER'S GUEST HOUSE 51 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:10,367 OR SOME MOTEL, 52 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:12,333 AND I'M NOT GOING BACK TO ALICE'S COUCH. 53 00:03:12,367 --> 00:03:14,167 I DON'T THINK IT'S FAIR THAT I'M BEING PUNISHED 54 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,267 FOR SOMETHING THAT I DIDN'T DO, 55 00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:17,733 SO I'M GOING TO STAY IN THE GUEST ROOM 56 00:03:17,767 --> 00:03:19,200 UNTIL I FIND A PLACE OF MY OWN. 57 00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:21,667 WELCOME HOME. 58 00:03:21,700 --> 00:03:24,067 I'M NOT HOME. 59 00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:27,667 I'VE GAINED SOME WEIGHT. 60 00:03:27,700 --> 00:03:29,267 I DON'T CARE. 61 00:03:29,300 --> 00:03:30,667 YOU DON'T EVEN CARE? 62 00:03:30,700 --> 00:03:31,700 THAT'S NICE. 63 00:03:31,733 --> 00:03:33,067 NO, WHAT I MEANT TO SAY 64 00:03:33,067 --> 00:03:35,467 IS THAT I'M JUST HAPPY TO BE LOOKING AT YOU... 65 00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:39,600 STANDING HERE IN OUR HOUSE. 66 00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:43,400 WELL? 67 00:03:43,433 --> 00:03:44,833 DEFINITELY AN AWARD WINNER. 68 00:03:44,867 --> 00:03:46,067 FUCK YOU, MAN. 69 00:03:46,067 --> 00:03:47,300 THIS IS A QUALITY FUCK TAPE. 70 00:03:49,067 --> 00:03:50,700 MARK HERE. TESTING. TESTING. 71 00:03:50,733 --> 00:03:51,867 WHAT ARE YOU UP TO? 72 00:03:51,900 --> 00:03:54,067 I'M STARTING A NEW PROJECT. 73 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,533 WELL, WHAT IS IT? 74 00:03:55,567 --> 00:03:57,467 YOU'LL SEE. 75 00:03:57,500 --> 00:03:59,133 MAN, I'M YOUR PARTNER. YOU'VE GOT TO TELL ME. 76 00:03:59,167 --> 00:04:00,400 LOOK, I'M NOT READY 77 00:04:00,433 --> 00:04:01,533 TO TALK ABOUT IT YET, OKAY? 78 00:04:01,567 --> 00:04:04,100 IT'S STILL IN ITS CONCEPT STAGES, 79 00:04:04,133 --> 00:04:07,067 BUT I WILL TELL YOU THAT IT IS GENIUS. 80 00:04:09,067 --> 00:04:10,900 [***] 81 00:04:21,933 --> 00:04:24,167 [LAUGHS] 82 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:25,200 WHAT? 83 00:04:25,233 --> 00:04:27,533 YOU JUST GOT CRUISED. 84 00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:29,433 DO YOU THINK SHE WAS LOOKING AT ME? 85 00:04:29,467 --> 00:04:31,500 OH, YEAH. IN BROAD DAYLIGHT, TOO. 86 00:04:31,533 --> 00:04:33,300 I LOVE MY HAIRCUT. 87 00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:38,333 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 88 00:04:40,333 --> 00:04:41,767 I'M SORRY. 89 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:44,067 I JUST WANTED TO GIVE YOU SOME FRESH TOWELS. 90 00:04:45,233 --> 00:04:46,400 BETTE... 91 00:04:46,433 --> 00:04:50,400 THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT. 92 00:04:50,433 --> 00:04:53,400 OKAY. 93 00:04:53,433 --> 00:04:56,300 UM, MAYBE LATER? 94 00:04:56,333 --> 00:04:59,367 WILL YOU BE HOME TONIGHT? 95 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,967 I WILL BE IF YOU WANT ME TO BE. 96 00:05:03,067 --> 00:05:06,600 I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT THEN, OKAY? 97 00:05:06,633 --> 00:05:08,367 OKAY. 98 00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:19,467 HEY. 99 00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:21,067 MY NAME IS MARK WAYLAND, 100 00:05:21,067 --> 00:05:23,900 AND I LIVE IN A HOUSE WITH TWO LESBIANS. 101 00:05:23,933 --> 00:05:25,567 NOW, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE PROBABLY THINKING. 102 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,600 YOU'RE WONDERING IF I'VE HIT IT YET. 103 00:05:27,633 --> 00:05:30,900 WELL, THE THING IS THEY'RE TWO REAL LESBIANS, 104 00:05:30,933 --> 00:05:31,967 OR ELSE I WOULD HAVE, 105 00:05:32,067 --> 00:05:32,967 BUT DON'T WORRY. 106 00:05:33,067 --> 00:05:34,367 I'M STILL GOING TO TRY. 107 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:38,467 ANYWAY, THIS IS GOING TO BE A PROJECT 108 00:05:38,500 --> 00:05:42,533 WHICH WILL OFFER INSIGHT... 109 00:05:42,567 --> 00:05:44,633 THIS IS FUCKING LAME. 110 00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:53,867 COME IN. 111 00:05:53,900 --> 00:05:55,100 SHUT THE DOOR. 112 00:05:57,467 --> 00:05:59,700 HERE. SIT. 113 00:06:01,433 --> 00:06:03,133 SO? 114 00:06:03,167 --> 00:06:05,333 DOES TINA HAVE AN APPOINTMENT TO SEE AN APARTMENT TODAY? 115 00:06:05,367 --> 00:06:06,733 UH, NO, NOT TODAY. 116 00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:07,833 THE OWNER WASN'T AVAILABLE, BUT-- 117 00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:08,733 I WANT YOU TO TAKE YOUR TIME. 118 00:06:08,767 --> 00:06:11,133 DON'T PUSH IT. 119 00:06:11,167 --> 00:06:12,933 OKAY, BUT I THOUGHT TINA NEEDS A PLACE TO-- 120 00:06:12,967 --> 00:06:14,233 YOU CALL HER AT HOME 121 00:06:14,267 --> 00:06:16,533 AND TELL HER THAT YOU'RE WORKING ON IT. 122 00:06:16,567 --> 00:06:18,267 I DON'T WANT YOU TO LIE, 123 00:06:18,300 --> 00:06:21,200 I JUST...WANT YOU TO TAKE YOUR TIME. 124 00:06:21,233 --> 00:06:22,500 WHEN YOU SAY, "CALL HER AT HOME," 125 00:06:22,533 --> 00:06:23,667 SHOULD I CALL HER AT THE-- 126 00:06:23,700 --> 00:06:24,467 AT OUR HOME. 127 00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:26,533 SHE MOVED BACK IN THIS MORNING. 128 00:06:26,567 --> 00:06:28,333 THAT'S GREAT. THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED, RIGHT? 129 00:06:28,367 --> 00:06:32,067 SO WHY DON'T I JUST CANCEL IT? 130 00:06:32,067 --> 00:06:33,200 WELL, BECAUSE IN HER MIND, 131 00:06:33,233 --> 00:06:35,600 SHE'S THINKING THAT IT'S ONLY TEMPORARY. 132 00:06:35,633 --> 00:06:37,700 YOU KNOW, SHE'S STILL PLANNING ON FINDING A PLACE OF HER OWN, 133 00:06:37,733 --> 00:06:40,333 AND I'M JUST HOPING THAT ONCE SHE'S ENSCONCED, 134 00:06:40,367 --> 00:06:42,067 SHE'LL DECIDE TO STAY. 135 00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:43,367 I SEE. 136 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:44,900 SO YOU WANT US TO TAKE OUR TIME LOOKING, 137 00:06:44,933 --> 00:06:47,500 BUT STILL HELP TINA LOOK, BUT NOT REALLY LOOK TOO HARD. 138 00:06:48,567 --> 00:06:49,467 EXACTLY. 139 00:06:58,267 --> 00:07:00,300 AW, FUCK, MARK. NOT AGAIN. 140 00:07:00,333 --> 00:07:01,600 PLEASE. TWO MINUTES. JUST HEAR ME OUT, OKAY? 141 00:07:01,633 --> 00:07:03,067 I GOT SOMETHING TO SAY. 142 00:07:03,067 --> 00:07:04,500 I THINK YOU'RE REALLY GOING TO LIKE IT. 143 00:07:04,533 --> 00:07:07,933 WELL, I THINK THAT'S WILDLY PRESUMPTUOUS OF YOU, MARK. 144 00:07:07,967 --> 00:07:09,633 HEY, SHANE... 145 00:07:09,667 --> 00:07:10,800 HELLO. 146 00:07:10,833 --> 00:07:12,900 MARK HERE, ASKING THE GIRLS IF THEY'RE IN. 147 00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,333 I'M ABOUT TO SHOW THEM THAT THIS IS MAINLY ABOUT ME, 148 00:07:15,367 --> 00:07:17,700 THAT I WOULD NEVER ASK THEM TO EXPOSE THEMSELVES 149 00:07:17,733 --> 00:07:21,667 IF I WASN'T WILLING TO EXPOSE MYSELF, LIKE, WAY MORE. 150 00:07:21,700 --> 00:07:23,700 FOR EXAMPLE, I MAY TELL ABOUT THE TIME 151 00:07:23,733 --> 00:07:27,533 MY BOY GOMEY USED TO HIDE IN THE CLOSET 152 00:07:27,567 --> 00:07:30,167 WHEN I BROUGHT GIRLS BACK TO OUR DORM ROOM. 153 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:34,067 THAT ISN'T EXACTLY A SELF-REVELATION, MARK. 154 00:07:34,067 --> 00:07:35,067 OH, I'LL DIG. 155 00:07:35,067 --> 00:07:38,167 I CAN GO WAY DEEPER. 156 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:40,633 AND WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH US? 157 00:07:40,667 --> 00:07:42,133 RIGHT, OKAY, SO... 158 00:07:42,167 --> 00:07:43,833 I'M STARTING A NEW PROJECT, ALL RIGHT? 159 00:07:43,867 --> 00:07:44,833 THAT'S GREAT. 160 00:07:44,867 --> 00:07:47,267 YES, IT IS GREAT. 161 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,267 IT'S GOING TO BE KIND OF LIKE THIS, UM, THIS JOURNAL 162 00:07:49,300 --> 00:07:51,400 OF MY LIFE WITH THE TWO OF YOU GUYS. 163 00:07:51,433 --> 00:07:54,100 BASICALLY, IT'S JUST GOING TO BE INTERVIEWS EVERY SO OFTEN, 164 00:07:54,133 --> 00:07:55,300 AND AFTER A WHILE, 165 00:07:55,333 --> 00:07:57,167 YOU WON'T EVEN KNOW THE CAMERAS ARE AROUND. 166 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,267 I THINK THIS IS GOING TO BE 167 00:07:58,300 --> 00:08:00,633 THE BEST THING I'VE EVER DONE, REALLY, 168 00:08:00,667 --> 00:08:01,833 AND IF I CAN JUST GET SOME FOOTAGE, 169 00:08:01,867 --> 00:08:03,733 WHICH, I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY, I THINK I CAN, 170 00:08:03,767 --> 00:08:05,100 THEN I KNOW THAT I CAN GET THIS THING FINANCED, 171 00:08:05,133 --> 00:08:07,133 AND WE CAN ALL GET PAID, 172 00:08:07,167 --> 00:08:09,200 WHICH IS SOMETHING I KNOW YOU BOTH NEED. 173 00:08:09,233 --> 00:08:12,467 MARK, I THINK THAT THERE'S A LOT OF "I"S 174 00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:16,467 CONTRADICTING THE "WE"S IN YOUR RUN-ON SENTENCE. 175 00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:18,433 HMM... 176 00:08:18,467 --> 00:08:19,700 WELL, THAT IS BECAUSE 177 00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:21,400 I AM GOING TO HANDLE ALL OF THE DETAILS 178 00:08:21,433 --> 00:08:23,133 WHILE YOU TWO JUST SIT BACK 179 00:08:23,167 --> 00:08:25,700 AND BE YOUR GORGEOUS, SEXY SELVES 180 00:08:25,733 --> 00:08:26,767 AND GET PAID FOR THAT. 181 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:28,900 PLUS, I MEAN, HONESTLY THINK ABOUT 182 00:08:28,933 --> 00:08:30,667 HOW EDUCATIONAL THIS IS GOING TO BE 183 00:08:30,700 --> 00:08:33,700 FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT PEOPLE LIKE YOU. 184 00:08:33,733 --> 00:08:35,800 OH... 185 00:08:35,833 --> 00:08:36,867 WHAT DO YOU THINK HE MEANS, 186 00:08:36,900 --> 00:08:38,133 "PEOPLE LIKE US"? 187 00:08:38,167 --> 00:08:39,167 OH, MY. AW... 188 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:40,200 WHAT DO YOU THINK HE MEANS? 189 00:08:40,233 --> 00:08:42,300 OH, I THINK HE'S REFERRING TO... 190 00:08:42,333 --> 00:08:43,233 BEAN-FIDDLERS. 191 00:08:43,267 --> 00:08:44,567 [GASPS] 192 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,667 OH, THE BOBBING- FOR-APPLE GIRLS. 193 00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:48,833 SAUCINESS. OH, YES. 194 00:08:48,867 --> 00:08:50,167 YES, THE GAY WOMEN. 195 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:52,900 BUT, HONESTLY, GUYS, JUST THINK. 196 00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:53,933 I MEAN, THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU'RE GOING TO BE-- 197 00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:55,200 I KNOW. 198 00:08:55,233 --> 00:08:57,600 HELPING OUT SOME POOR LITTLE LONELY LEZ 199 00:08:57,633 --> 00:08:59,100 IN THE CLOSET IN THE MIDWEST 200 00:08:59,133 --> 00:09:00,933 WITHOUT A ROLE MODEL IN SIGHT. 201 00:09:00,967 --> 00:09:02,067 VERY IMPORTANT. 202 00:09:02,067 --> 00:09:02,833 THAT COULD BE YOU TOO. 203 00:09:02,867 --> 00:09:03,867 MM-HMM. 204 00:09:03,900 --> 00:09:05,300 OKAY. 205 00:09:05,333 --> 00:09:07,967 JUST TO SHOW YOU HOW VERY CERTAIN I AM 206 00:09:08,067 --> 00:09:09,267 THAT I WILL GET THIS FUNDED, 207 00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:12,633 I'LL GIVE YOU BOTH 20 BUCKS APIECE, PER INTERVIEW, 208 00:09:12,667 --> 00:09:13,833 OF MY OWN MONEY. 209 00:09:13,867 --> 00:09:15,467 IS THIS GOING TO BE, LIKE, UH... 210 00:09:15,500 --> 00:09:17,067 WHAT'S THE THING CALLED? UH... 211 00:09:17,100 --> 00:09:18,133 OH! UH. 212 00:09:18,167 --> 00:09:19,133 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 213 00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:20,133 RIGHT, RIGHT? 214 00:09:20,167 --> 00:09:21,133 "LESBIANS GONE WILD." 215 00:09:21,167 --> 00:09:22,400 SURE. 216 00:09:22,433 --> 00:09:23,767 OR IS THIS GOING TO BE, LIKE, YOU KNOW-- 217 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:24,867 OR THE MAYSLES BROTHERS? 218 00:09:24,900 --> 00:09:28,067 ...MEETS D.A. PENNEBAKER 219 00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:32,767 WITH A LITTLE BIT OF NICK BROOMFIELD THROWN IN THERE. 220 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,167 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 221 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:35,167 WELL? 222 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:36,167 OKAY. 223 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:37,300 YES? OKAY? 224 00:09:37,333 --> 00:09:38,433 NO. 225 00:09:38,467 --> 00:09:40,067 NO. WE'LL THINK ABOUT IT. MM-HMM. 226 00:09:40,067 --> 00:09:41,767 OKAY. 227 00:09:43,067 --> 00:09:44,133 HOW CUTE WOULD THESE BE 228 00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:46,100 IN THE BACHELORETTE GIFT BAGS? 229 00:09:46,133 --> 00:09:47,967 OH, MY GOD. 230 00:09:48,067 --> 00:09:49,767 [WHOOPING] 231 00:09:51,067 --> 00:09:53,333 [GRUNTING AND GIGGLING] 232 00:09:53,367 --> 00:09:55,633 UM, GUYS, GUYS? 233 00:09:55,667 --> 00:09:57,200 YEAH, UM, 234 00:09:57,233 --> 00:09:58,433 I COULD PROBABLY TAKE CARE 235 00:09:58,467 --> 00:10:00,300 OF THIS WHOLE GIFT-BAG SHOPPING THING MYSELF. 236 00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:01,333 NO, NO. ARE YOU KIDDING? 237 00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:02,367 THIS IS, LIKE, THE BEST PART. 238 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:03,367 [GASPS] 239 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,133 OH, MY GOD. 240 00:10:05,167 --> 00:10:07,400 LADIES, HOW ABOUT A LITTLE OF THIS? 241 00:10:07,433 --> 00:10:09,300 [MOANING] 242 00:10:09,333 --> 00:10:10,300 TONYA, TONYA... 243 00:10:10,333 --> 00:10:11,300 STOP! 244 00:10:12,633 --> 00:10:13,867 BUT IT'S NICE. 245 00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:16,533 STOP IT. 246 00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:19,967 SHE'S NOT A FAN, 247 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,733 BUT I GUESS THIS IS A LITTLE MORE 248 00:10:21,767 --> 00:10:22,733 UP YOUR ALLEY, 249 00:10:22,767 --> 00:10:23,733 ISN'T IT, ALICE? 250 00:10:23,767 --> 00:10:25,100 ACTUALLY, TONYA, 251 00:10:25,133 --> 00:10:26,600 THIS MIGHT BE A LITTLE BIT MORE UP MY ALLEY. 252 00:10:26,633 --> 00:10:28,400 MORE THAN THIS? YEAH, MAYBE A LITTLE. 253 00:10:28,433 --> 00:10:29,367 OH, REALLY? MM-HMM. 254 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:31,167 OKAY, STOP IT, BOTH OF YOU. 255 00:10:32,667 --> 00:10:34,200 WHICH WOULD YOU RATHER PUT IN YOUR MOUTH, AL? 256 00:10:36,767 --> 00:10:38,300 [GASPS] 257 00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:40,033 I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU BISEXUALS. 258 00:10:40,067 --> 00:10:41,333 I MEAN, REALLY. 259 00:10:41,367 --> 00:10:43,300 MAKE UP YOUR MINDS ALREADY, RIGHT, HONEY? 260 00:10:43,333 --> 00:10:44,267 MAKE UP YOUR MINDS ALREADY. 261 00:10:49,767 --> 00:10:51,867 [MARK]: HEY, I GOT A QUESTION FOR YOU. 262 00:10:51,900 --> 00:10:54,833 WHAT IS THE PRIMARY LESBIAN SEX ACT? 263 00:10:54,867 --> 00:10:56,633 THE PRIMARY LESBIAN SEX ACT? 264 00:10:56,667 --> 00:10:57,767 YEAH, WELL, FOR STRAIGHT PEOPLE, 265 00:10:57,800 --> 00:10:58,767 IT'S FUCKING, RIGHT? 266 00:10:58,800 --> 00:10:59,767 MM-HMM. 267 00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:00,600 AND EVERYTHING WE DO, 268 00:11:00,633 --> 00:11:01,800 THE KISSING, THE FONDLING, 269 00:11:01,833 --> 00:11:03,633 THE FOREPLAY, NYAH-NYAH, 270 00:11:03,667 --> 00:11:04,733 ALL OF IT, IT LEADS UP 271 00:11:04,767 --> 00:11:07,567 TO THAT ONE ULTIMATE FOREGONE CONCLUSION. 272 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:11,500 AND WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT LESBIANS DON'T FUCK? 273 00:11:11,533 --> 00:11:13,333 IT'S NOT POSSIBLE. 274 00:11:13,367 --> 00:11:14,333 UNLESS WE'RE TALKING DILDOS, 275 00:11:14,367 --> 00:11:16,500 WHICH IS COOL, BUT IT'S NOT... 276 00:11:16,533 --> 00:11:17,733 ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING? 277 00:11:17,767 --> 00:11:19,633 IT'S COMPLETELY POSSIBLE. 278 00:11:19,667 --> 00:11:20,800 WHOA, I'M JUST-- 279 00:11:20,833 --> 00:11:23,300 I'M ASKING BECAUSE I WANT TO KNOW. 280 00:11:23,333 --> 00:11:24,667 I'M TRYING TO GAIN SOME UNDERSTANDING HERE, PLEASE. 281 00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:26,833 WHERE DO YOU LIVE, MARK? 282 00:11:26,867 --> 00:11:29,200 IT'S ENTIRELY POSSIBLE. 283 00:11:29,233 --> 00:11:30,400 I'M SORRY. 284 00:11:30,433 --> 00:11:31,600 IS THIS A JOKE? 285 00:11:31,633 --> 00:11:33,867 MARK, I MEAN, DO YOU WANT US TO DEMONSTRATE? 286 00:11:33,900 --> 00:11:35,233 BECAUSE THIS IS OBVIOUS 287 00:11:35,267 --> 00:11:38,400 WHAT THIS WHOLE THING IS LEADING UP TO, RIGHT? 288 00:11:38,433 --> 00:11:39,633 HEY, NO, LOOK. 289 00:11:39,667 --> 00:11:42,400 IF YOU WERE WRITING A NOVEL 290 00:11:42,433 --> 00:11:44,533 AND YOU HAD SOME QUESTIONS FOR ME, 291 00:11:44,567 --> 00:11:45,933 I WOULD TOTALLY BE THERE FOR YOU. 292 00:11:45,967 --> 00:11:48,500 I'M JUST SIMPLY TRYING TO GAIN SOME INSIGHT HERE, ALL RIGHT? 293 00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:51,467 JUST SIMPLY TRYING TO GAIN AN INSIGHT, 294 00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:53,367 SOME UNIQUE PERSPECTIVE 295 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,233 FOR US GUYS WHO DON'T UNDERSTAND, 296 00:11:55,267 --> 00:11:56,467 SOMETHING WE HAVEN'T HEARD 297 00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:57,567 FROM ANYWHERE ELSE BEFORE. 298 00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:58,967 GOD... 299 00:11:59,067 --> 00:12:00,967 DON'T BE SO AGGRESSIVE... 300 00:12:01,067 --> 00:12:03,667 BECAUSE IT'S EMBARRASSING. 301 00:12:10,933 --> 00:12:12,333 AND THERE YOU HAVE IT. 302 00:12:12,367 --> 00:12:15,133 A SEX TIP FOR ALL US HORNDOGS OUT THERE 303 00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:21,133 FROM THE LESBIAN SEXUAL CONQUISTADOR HERSELF. 304 00:12:21,167 --> 00:12:22,533 ALL RIGHT, 305 00:12:22,567 --> 00:12:24,867 BOILERPLATE RELEASE FORM I NEED YOU TO SIGN. 306 00:12:24,900 --> 00:12:26,233 WHERE'D THE OTHER ONE GO? 307 00:12:26,267 --> 00:12:27,433 UM, I NEED SHANE TO... 308 00:12:27,467 --> 00:12:29,300 SHANE? 309 00:12:29,333 --> 00:12:31,633 WHAT, STILL TOO AGGRESSIVE? 310 00:12:34,233 --> 00:12:36,167 [DOOR OPENS] 311 00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:47,733 HEY... 312 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,967 I MADE TOO MUCH. 313 00:12:50,067 --> 00:12:51,567 DO YOU WANT ME TO FIX YOU A PLATE? 314 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:53,967 NO, STAY. I'LL GO GET IT. 315 00:12:54,067 --> 00:12:55,600 YOU LOOK REALLY GREAT. 316 00:12:55,633 --> 00:12:58,567 YOU'RE KIND OF...GLOWING. 317 00:13:01,067 --> 00:13:02,667 THANKS. 318 00:13:05,067 --> 00:13:06,800 BETTE, I WANT TO TELL YOU THAT-- 319 00:13:06,833 --> 00:13:10,567 GOD, I HAD THE WORST FUCKING DAY TODAY. 320 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,300 THANKS TO PEGGY PEABODY'S CUNT DAUGHTER, 321 00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:13,467 OUR GRANT IS IN JEOPARDY, 322 00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:16,400 AND FRANKLIN'S COMPLETELY FLIPPING OUT. 323 00:13:16,433 --> 00:13:18,300 YOU CAN'T IMAGINE HOW FUCKED I'M GOING TO BE 324 00:13:18,333 --> 00:13:21,067 IF THEY PULL IT. 325 00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:22,733 I SPENT THE DAY RAISING MONEY, TOO. 326 00:13:22,767 --> 00:13:24,300 IT'S INCREDIBLE, ISN'T IT? 327 00:13:24,333 --> 00:13:26,167 IMAGINE IF THE WHOLE FUTURE OF THE MUSEUM 328 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:27,233 THAT YOU'VE DEDICATED 329 00:13:27,267 --> 00:13:28,967 THE LAST FOUR YEARS OF YOUR LIFE TO 330 00:13:29,067 --> 00:13:32,333 WERE DEPENDING ON IT. 331 00:13:32,367 --> 00:13:33,667 ACTUALLY, THE FUTURE 332 00:13:33,700 --> 00:13:36,467 OF A LOT OF CHILDREN'S EDUCATIONS DEPENDS 333 00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:38,733 ON WHETHER I RAISE THIS MONEY. 334 00:13:38,767 --> 00:13:39,900 I WASN'T SUGGESTING 335 00:13:39,933 --> 00:13:41,300 THAT IT'S ANY LESS IMPORTANT, TINA. 336 00:13:41,333 --> 00:13:42,467 I MEAN, IT BREAKS MY HEART. 337 00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:43,467 IT DOES, 338 00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:44,633 BUT DO YOU WANT THOSE KIDS TO GROW UP 339 00:13:44,667 --> 00:13:47,200 IN A WORLD WITHOUT ART? 340 00:13:47,233 --> 00:13:48,767 NO. 341 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:51,700 OF COURSE NOT. 342 00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:00,500 YOU SAID YOU HAD SOMETHING YOU WANTED TO TALK TO ME ABOUT 343 00:14:00,533 --> 00:14:01,500 THIS MORNING? 344 00:14:01,533 --> 00:14:04,367 IT WAS NOTHING. 345 00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:12,433 [KNOCKS GENTLY] 346 00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:19,167 I JUST WANTED TO SAY GOOD NIGHT. 347 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:21,067 GOOD NIGHT. 348 00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:25,567 UM, I'M SORRY ABOUT DINNER. 349 00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:27,100 IT'S A HABIT. 350 00:14:27,133 --> 00:14:28,500 I'M TRYING TO BREAK IT. 351 00:14:28,533 --> 00:14:32,433 IT'S NOT ALL YOUR FAULT. 352 00:14:38,333 --> 00:14:40,300 I HOPE YOU'LL FEEL LIKE TALKING TO ME TOMORROW. 353 00:14:40,333 --> 00:14:43,267 I THINK MAYBE I WILL. 354 00:14:48,733 --> 00:14:51,600 [EXHALES] 355 00:15:11,967 --> 00:15:13,967 OH, MY GOD, THIS IS GREAT. 356 00:15:15,367 --> 00:15:18,067 ALICE, WE'RE NOT BACK TOGETHER. 357 00:15:18,067 --> 00:15:19,400 WELL, I'M JUST SAYING HI. 358 00:15:19,433 --> 00:15:20,767 HI. 359 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,733 SO, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE... 360 00:15:22,767 --> 00:15:23,767 TOGETHER? 361 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:25,067 I'M STAYING AT THE HOUSE 362 00:15:25,067 --> 00:15:26,433 UNTIL I GET A PLACE OF MY OWN. 363 00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:27,433 NICE! 364 00:15:27,467 --> 00:15:28,633 NICE. 365 00:15:28,667 --> 00:15:29,633 THIS IS GOOD! 366 00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:30,667 THIS IS GOOD, THIS IS GOOD. 367 00:15:30,700 --> 00:15:31,700 THIS IS GOOD! 368 00:15:31,733 --> 00:15:33,867 YEAH, I'M... 369 00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:35,500 I'M JUST GOING TO GO SEE KIT. 370 00:15:35,533 --> 00:15:36,900 YEAH, WELL, SHE'S IN THE BACK 371 00:15:36,933 --> 00:15:37,767 WITH SOME HUNKA-HUNKA BURNIN' LOVE. 372 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:38,767 I DON'T KNOW. 373 00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:40,633 BENJAMIN BRADSHAW. 374 00:15:40,667 --> 00:15:41,900 OH, WHO IS HE? 375 00:15:41,933 --> 00:15:43,167 HE'S THIS BUSINESS GURU. 376 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:44,267 SHE TOOK ONE SEMINAR WITH HIM, 377 00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:46,200 AND NOW SHE'S GETTING A PRIVATE CONSULTATION. 378 00:15:46,233 --> 00:15:47,433 OH, OKAY. 379 00:15:51,333 --> 00:15:52,400 OKAY. 380 00:15:52,433 --> 00:15:54,300 WHAT'S HAPPENING? 381 00:15:54,333 --> 00:15:56,433 I MEAN, UM... 382 00:15:56,467 --> 00:15:57,667 ARE YOU GUYS NOT TOGETHER? 383 00:15:57,700 --> 00:16:00,667 BECAUSE YOU-- YOU LOOK LIKE YOU ARE. 384 00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:05,067 WELL, LET'S JUST SAY I'M NOT RULING IT OUT. 385 00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:10,467 OKAY, SO SHE WAS COOL WITH THE... 386 00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:11,567 SHE DIDN'T FREAK? 387 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:12,567 WHAT... 388 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:13,967 I HAVEN'T TOLD HER YET. 389 00:16:14,067 --> 00:16:15,333 WHAT? 390 00:16:15,367 --> 00:16:17,067 BUT SHE'S GOT TO KNOW. 391 00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:18,500 SHE MUST KNOW. 392 00:16:18,533 --> 00:16:20,300 I MEAN, SHE'S GOT TO KNOW. 393 00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:21,600 IS SHE FUCKING BLIND? 394 00:16:21,633 --> 00:16:23,733 BETTE'S PRETTY WRAPPED UP IN HERSELF. 395 00:16:23,767 --> 00:16:25,500 SHE DOESN'T ALWAYS SEE WHAT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER. 396 00:16:25,533 --> 00:16:27,100 IT'S A PROBLEM. 397 00:16:27,133 --> 00:16:29,667 IT'S ALWAYS BEEN ONE OF OUR PROBLEMS. 398 00:16:29,700 --> 00:16:32,833 YEAH, TINA, THIS ISN'T REALLY JUST A BETTE PROBLEM. 399 00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:34,200 YOU HAVE TO TELL HER. 400 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:38,633 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 401 00:16:38,667 --> 00:16:39,900 COME IN! 402 00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:42,300 HEY, BABY SIS. 403 00:16:42,333 --> 00:16:44,433 BENJAMIN BRADSHAW, 404 00:16:44,467 --> 00:16:45,933 THIS IS MY LITTLE SISTER, BETTE PORTER. 405 00:16:45,967 --> 00:16:47,500 NICE TO MEET YOU. 406 00:16:47,533 --> 00:16:48,500 WELL, KIT'S TOLD ME 407 00:16:48,533 --> 00:16:49,967 SO MUCH ABOUT YOU. 408 00:16:50,067 --> 00:16:51,533 I UNDERSTAND YOU'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH 409 00:16:51,567 --> 00:16:53,067 SOME DIFFICULTY LATELY. 410 00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:54,667 IF YOU FEEL YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO-- 411 00:16:54,700 --> 00:16:56,233 UH, UH, BENJAMIN, 412 00:16:56,267 --> 00:16:58,200 SHE'S NOT READY FOR THAT RIGHT NOW. 413 00:16:59,533 --> 00:17:01,533 [CLEARS THROAT] 414 00:17:01,567 --> 00:17:02,867 BENJAMIN AND I 415 00:17:02,900 --> 00:17:04,733 HAVE BEEN GOING OVER LAST MONTH'S STATEMENTS, 416 00:17:04,767 --> 00:17:07,133 AND YOU WOULD BE AMAZED 417 00:17:07,167 --> 00:17:09,300 AT THE RESULTS OF MY WORK IN T.O.E. 418 00:17:09,333 --> 00:17:11,467 TOE? 419 00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:12,733 UH, T-O-E. 420 00:17:12,767 --> 00:17:14,833 THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING. 421 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,400 IT'S A PHYSICS PRINCIPLE 422 00:17:16,433 --> 00:17:18,067 UNITING OUR UNDERSTANDING 423 00:17:18,067 --> 00:17:21,233 OF THE FUNDAMENTAL FORCES OF NATURE 424 00:17:21,267 --> 00:17:22,600 INTO A SINGLE EQUATION 425 00:17:22,633 --> 00:17:25,100 THAT'S APPLICABLE TO EVERY QUESTION 426 00:17:25,133 --> 00:17:26,633 ABOUT LIFE ON EARTH. 427 00:17:26,667 --> 00:17:31,167 IT'S THE BASIS OF MY SYSTEM OF PERSONAL TRANSFORMATION. 428 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:33,867 BETTE, SINCE MY WORK IN T.O.E., 429 00:17:33,900 --> 00:17:35,067 THE PLANET 430 00:17:35,100 --> 00:17:36,467 HAS GONE FROM BEING IN THE RED TO BLACK. 431 00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:37,967 AND? 432 00:17:38,067 --> 00:17:39,100 AND I'VE PREPAID THE MORTGAGE 433 00:17:39,133 --> 00:17:40,133 THROUGH SEPTEMBER. 434 00:17:40,167 --> 00:17:41,600 AND... 435 00:17:41,633 --> 00:17:46,133 AND BENJAMIN IS THE BEST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME. 436 00:17:46,167 --> 00:17:47,300 WELL, THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS AFTER, 437 00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:48,400 BUT THANK YOU. 438 00:17:48,433 --> 00:17:50,567 I WAS GOING TO SAY... 439 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:52,067 AND YOU'RE WELCOME TO JOIN KIT 440 00:17:52,067 --> 00:17:55,233 WHEN SHE ATTENDS THE ADVANCED SEMINAR NEXT MONTH. 441 00:17:55,267 --> 00:17:57,867 I'LL WAIVE THE INTRODUCTORY COURSE FOR YOU 442 00:17:57,900 --> 00:17:59,367 BECAUSE KIT TELLS ME 443 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,600 YOU'RE VERY ACCOMPLISHED IN YOUR OWN RIGHT. 444 00:18:01,633 --> 00:18:03,400 THANK YOU. 445 00:18:03,433 --> 00:18:04,867 I GUESS. 446 00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:07,167 WELL, UM... 447 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,733 [LAUGHS] 448 00:18:08,767 --> 00:18:12,433 JUST, YOU KNOW, LET ME KNOW WHEN THE NEXT SEMINAR IS, 449 00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:14,667 AND I WILL GIVE IT SOME THOUGHT. 450 00:18:23,067 --> 00:18:24,333 YOU KNOW WHAT? I REALLY DON'T KNOW. 451 00:18:24,367 --> 00:18:27,900 IS JENNY ALWAYS SO WEIRD? 452 00:18:27,933 --> 00:18:29,633 SHE'S NOT WEIRD. 453 00:18:29,667 --> 00:18:30,933 SHE'S GREAT. 454 00:18:30,967 --> 00:18:32,200 WELL, MAYBE SHE'S ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE 455 00:18:32,233 --> 00:18:35,633 THAT'S, YOU KNOW, SHE'S CONSTANTLY IN HER HEAD. 456 00:18:35,667 --> 00:18:36,800 CARMEN, SHE'S A WRITER. 457 00:18:36,833 --> 00:18:39,533 SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THAT. 458 00:18:39,567 --> 00:18:41,767 OKAY, SO WILL YOU 459 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,100 TAKE A LISTEN TO THIS, PLEASE, 460 00:18:43,133 --> 00:18:44,633 AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU THINK THEY'LL BE DOWN FOR IT? 461 00:18:44,667 --> 00:18:45,967 I MEAN, I REALLY DON'T HAVE 462 00:18:46,067 --> 00:18:48,567 THAT MUCH OF A SENSE OF DANA AND TONYA, SO... 463 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:53,567 THAT WOULD HELP. 464 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,300 YOU... YOU KISSED HER. 465 00:18:57,767 --> 00:18:58,767 WHAT? 466 00:18:58,800 --> 00:18:59,800 YOU KISSED JENNY. 467 00:18:59,833 --> 00:19:00,900 OH, OKAY. 468 00:19:00,933 --> 00:19:01,967 RIGHT, YEAH. 469 00:19:02,067 --> 00:19:03,200 RIGHT? YEAH. 470 00:19:03,233 --> 00:19:06,667 YEAH, YEAH, I DID, BUT, UM... 471 00:19:06,700 --> 00:19:08,167 IT WAS JUST THE CIRCUMSTANCES. 472 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:09,533 I MEAN... 473 00:19:09,567 --> 00:19:11,100 I DIDN'T THINK THAT YOU WOULD MIND. 474 00:19:11,133 --> 00:19:12,133 THEN, NO, AND I-- 475 00:19:12,167 --> 00:19:13,133 HEY, AND I DON'T. 476 00:19:13,167 --> 00:19:15,133 OKAY, GOOD. 477 00:19:15,167 --> 00:19:16,233 [LAUGHING] 478 00:19:16,267 --> 00:19:18,333 THANK GOD. 479 00:19:18,367 --> 00:19:21,800 YOU SHOULD, UM... 480 00:19:21,833 --> 00:19:23,867 YOU SHOULD GIVE HER A CHANCE. 481 00:19:25,533 --> 00:19:26,667 YEAH? 482 00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:27,900 YEAH. 483 00:19:30,167 --> 00:19:31,533 YOU KNOW WHAT? 484 00:19:31,567 --> 00:19:36,533 WHAT? 485 00:19:36,567 --> 00:19:39,200 DON'T TRY TO HOOK ME UP. 486 00:19:41,067 --> 00:19:41,967 BYE. 487 00:19:52,300 --> 00:19:53,400 SO, LOOK, IF SHE WANTS HER STORY DONE 488 00:19:53,433 --> 00:19:54,867 AND DONE RIGHT 489 00:19:54,900 --> 00:19:56,467 SHE'S GOING TO DO A DEAL WITH VERONICA BLOOM. 490 00:19:56,500 --> 00:19:57,667 UH, VERONICA, YOU CALLED ME-- 491 00:19:57,700 --> 00:19:58,667 MAYBE, BUT I NEED SOMEBODY 492 00:19:58,700 --> 00:19:59,700 TO PRIME HER FIRST 493 00:19:59,733 --> 00:20:01,400 BEFORE I GO IN AND DO MY THING. 494 00:20:01,433 --> 00:20:02,833 I'M RIGHT BESIDE YOU. 495 00:20:02,867 --> 00:20:04,700 YEAH, AND SO IS YOUR FRED SEGAL HAIRCUT 496 00:20:04,733 --> 00:20:05,967 AND YOUR PRADA SUIT. 497 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,167 LOOK, I NEED SOMEBODY 498 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,867 WHO LOOKS RELATIVELY HUMAN, 499 00:20:08,900 --> 00:20:11,633 OR AT LEAST IS A CREDIBLE SIMULATION, 500 00:20:11,667 --> 00:20:13,533 AND THAT'S WHERE HAIR GIRL COMES IN. 501 00:20:13,567 --> 00:20:14,833 FUCK YOU. 502 00:20:14,867 --> 00:20:15,833 HEY, HEY. 503 00:20:15,867 --> 00:20:17,100 PLEASE. IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN. 504 00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:18,700 JUST GET IN THE CAR. 505 00:20:18,733 --> 00:20:19,900 SHANE... 506 00:20:19,933 --> 00:20:21,333 SHANE... 507 00:20:21,367 --> 00:20:24,167 SHANE, GET IN THE CAR! 508 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:25,300 SHANE... 509 00:20:25,333 --> 00:20:26,633 [MAKING KISSY CAT-CALLING SOUNDS] 510 00:20:26,667 --> 00:20:28,333 COME HERE, SHANE. COME ON, COME ON. 511 00:20:28,367 --> 00:20:30,467 I GOT A PRESENT FOR YOU, BABY. 512 00:20:30,500 --> 00:20:31,700 AFTER WE CLINCH THE DEAL, 513 00:20:31,733 --> 00:20:33,000 WE CAN GO GET A MANI, PEDI! 514 00:20:33,033 --> 00:20:34,100 COME ON! 515 00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:35,133 COME ON, SHANE! 516 00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:36,200 COME ON. 517 00:20:36,233 --> 00:20:37,267 [KISSING] 518 00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:38,733 I TALKED TO TINA LIKE WE TALKED ABOUT. 519 00:20:38,767 --> 00:20:39,733 WE'RE GOING TO LOOK AT APARTMENTS 520 00:20:39,767 --> 00:20:40,833 NEXT WEEK. 521 00:20:40,867 --> 00:20:42,333 THE FUCKING PEABODY FOUNDATION 522 00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:44,233 HASN'T AWARDED US A SINGLE FUCKING PENNY. 523 00:20:44,267 --> 00:20:45,800 THEY'VE PULLED OUR FUNDING. 524 00:20:45,833 --> 00:20:48,700 OH, THERE'S GOT TO BE ANOTHER PAGE. 525 00:20:57,433 --> 00:20:59,033 SHIT. 526 00:21:03,700 --> 00:21:04,700 WAIT A MINUTE. 527 00:21:04,733 --> 00:21:06,900 TINA GOT A PEABODY? 528 00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:10,067 [TINA]: OH, MY GOD, YOU GUYS, THEY ARE AWARDING US $100,000! 529 00:21:10,100 --> 00:21:11,833 YOU DID IT! 530 00:21:11,867 --> 00:21:14,467 OH, MY GOD. 531 00:21:14,500 --> 00:21:16,500 WAIT A MINUTE. 532 00:21:17,933 --> 00:21:18,967 I THINK THAT'S IT, TINA. 533 00:21:19,067 --> 00:21:20,733 I DON'T THINK THEY'RE GIVING US ANOTHER ONE. 534 00:21:20,767 --> 00:21:21,800 [LAUGHING] 535 00:21:21,833 --> 00:21:22,967 [TYPING] 536 00:21:23,067 --> 00:21:25,633 OSCAR IS GOING TO FLIP! 537 00:21:31,933 --> 00:21:33,133 [CLEARS THROAT] 538 00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:36,067 CAN YOU GUYS EXCUSE ME FOR A MINUTE? 539 00:21:40,933 --> 00:21:43,833 [TELEPHONE RINGING] 540 00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:55,467 HELLO. 541 00:21:55,500 --> 00:21:56,767 BETTE? 542 00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:58,700 I'M HERE. 543 00:21:58,733 --> 00:22:00,767 ARE YOU OKAY? 544 00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:01,967 WHY DO YOU ASK? 545 00:22:02,067 --> 00:22:05,233 I SAW THE PEABODY POSTING. 546 00:22:07,433 --> 00:22:08,500 CONGRATULATIONS. 547 00:22:10,933 --> 00:22:12,667 [SIGHS] 548 00:22:12,700 --> 00:22:14,100 I'M SORRY, BETTE. 549 00:22:14,133 --> 00:22:18,200 IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO? 550 00:22:18,233 --> 00:22:19,300 WELL, MAYBE YOU COULD SUPPORT ME. 551 00:22:19,333 --> 00:22:20,667 I'LL TAKE SOME TIME OFF FROM WORK 552 00:22:20,700 --> 00:22:21,967 AND START LOOKING INTO A NEW CAREER. 553 00:22:22,067 --> 00:22:23,800 THAT'S NOT FAIR, BETTE. 554 00:22:23,833 --> 00:22:25,200 WHY DID YOU EVEN GO AFTER THE PEABODY? 555 00:22:25,233 --> 00:22:26,667 WAS IT SOME KIND OF VENDETTA AGAINST ME? 556 00:22:26,700 --> 00:22:28,467 YOU'RE BEING RIDICULOUS. 557 00:22:28,500 --> 00:22:31,300 OH, I AGREE. IT'S RIDICULOUS TO THINK 558 00:22:31,333 --> 00:22:33,067 THAT JUST BECAUSE I SHARED MY LIFE WITH YOU 559 00:22:33,067 --> 00:22:34,133 AND SUPPORTED YOU 560 00:22:34,167 --> 00:22:35,300 THAT YOU HAVE ANY COMPUNCTION AT ALL 561 00:22:35,333 --> 00:22:36,600 ABOUT FUCKING WITH MY LIVELIHOOD. 562 00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:39,733 YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST WARNED ME. 563 00:22:39,767 --> 00:22:42,300 IT'S NOT SO EASY TO TELL YOU THINGS, BETTE. 564 00:22:42,333 --> 00:22:43,900 NOT EVERYTHING IS EASY, TINA. 565 00:22:43,933 --> 00:22:45,133 BUT-- 566 00:22:45,167 --> 00:22:46,567 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GETTING UPSET NOW, 567 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:49,400 SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP THE PHONE. 568 00:22:53,300 --> 00:22:55,600 FUCK! 569 00:22:56,667 --> 00:22:59,533 FUCK! 570 00:23:01,167 --> 00:23:04,167 [APPLAUSE AND CHEERING] 571 00:23:06,067 --> 00:23:07,367 WE JUST GOT A PHONE CALL. 572 00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:09,400 HELENA PEABODY IS ON HER WAY OVER HERE. 573 00:23:09,433 --> 00:23:10,633 RIGHT NOW? 574 00:23:10,667 --> 00:23:11,867 YES. 575 00:23:11,900 --> 00:23:14,067 WE GOT THE BIGGEST GRANT THAT THEY GAVE. 576 00:23:14,067 --> 00:23:15,067 NOBODY ELSE GOT AS MUCH MONEY. 577 00:23:15,100 --> 00:23:17,467 SHE'S COMING WITH A CAMERA CREW. 578 00:23:17,500 --> 00:23:19,933 IT WAS YOUR PROPOSAL, TINA. 579 00:23:22,233 --> 00:23:24,500 OKAY, LET'S GET THIS PLACE LOOKING SHARP, 580 00:23:24,533 --> 00:23:25,967 BUT NOT TOO SHARP. 581 00:23:26,067 --> 00:23:27,800 WE DON'T WANT HER TO THINK THAT WE DON'T NEED THE MONEY. 582 00:23:27,833 --> 00:23:29,333 OKAY. 583 00:23:32,733 --> 00:23:34,433 SO THE WOMAN WE'RE ABOUT TO MEET 584 00:23:34,467 --> 00:23:35,533 WAS A PROSTITUTE. 585 00:23:35,567 --> 00:23:37,067 SHE WAS RUN BY THE RUSSIAN MOB 586 00:23:37,100 --> 00:23:38,633 UNTIL THEY TRIED TO TAKE HER DAUGHTER AWAY. 587 00:23:38,667 --> 00:23:40,300 SHE GOES UP AGAINST THEM, WHICH NOBODY DOES, 588 00:23:40,333 --> 00:23:41,933 AND GETS OUT ALIVE. 589 00:23:41,967 --> 00:23:43,400 THEY ALREADY FUCKED UP HER FACE, YOU'LL SEE. 590 00:23:43,433 --> 00:23:45,767 WE WANT TO MAKE A MOVIE OUT OF HER STORY. 591 00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:48,733 WHAT WE'RE AFTER HERE IS HER LIFE RIGHTS. 592 00:23:48,767 --> 00:23:50,467 PRISCILLA NABOCHENKO 593 00:23:50,500 --> 00:23:53,333 IS GOING TO SELL US THE RIGHTS TO HER LIFE. 594 00:23:58,233 --> 00:23:59,900 WOW. 595 00:24:00,067 --> 00:24:01,200 THE WOMAN SURE KNOWS 596 00:24:01,233 --> 00:24:02,533 HOW TO CREATE A MEDIA EVENT. 597 00:24:07,900 --> 00:24:09,933 HOLY SHIT. 598 00:24:09,967 --> 00:24:12,867 WHERE'S TINA KENNARD? 599 00:24:19,667 --> 00:24:21,267 YOU WROTE THIS PROPOSAL? 600 00:24:21,300 --> 00:24:22,900 YES. 601 00:24:25,067 --> 00:24:26,400 IT BROUGHT TEARS TO MY EYES. 602 00:24:26,433 --> 00:24:27,867 [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] 603 00:24:27,900 --> 00:24:28,700 THANK YOU. 604 00:24:28,733 --> 00:24:29,867 I'M FLATTERED. 605 00:24:29,900 --> 00:24:32,500 TINA, WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME THE GRAND TOUR 606 00:24:32,533 --> 00:24:34,300 OF THE HEADQUARTERS FOR SOCIAL JUSTICE? 607 00:24:34,333 --> 00:24:35,633 UH... 608 00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:39,100 SURE. 609 00:24:39,133 --> 00:24:40,067 RIGHT THIS WAY. 610 00:24:44,967 --> 00:24:46,267 [ALICE]: OH, MY GOD, 611 00:24:46,300 --> 00:24:48,400 IT'S GOING TO BE SUCH A GREAT BACHELORETTE PARTY. 612 00:24:48,433 --> 00:24:49,700 I KNOW. 613 00:24:49,733 --> 00:24:51,567 SO WHAT WERE YOU SAYING ABOUT ME? 614 00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:53,833 I THOUGHT YOU HAD GREAT TITS. 615 00:24:53,867 --> 00:24:55,933 YOU NOTICED MY TITS? 616 00:24:55,967 --> 00:24:57,067 RIGHT AWAY. 617 00:24:57,067 --> 00:24:58,067 [LAUGHING] 618 00:24:58,100 --> 00:24:59,467 OH, COME ON. 619 00:24:59,500 --> 00:25:01,333 THEY WERE LIKE, "HELLO THERE." 620 00:25:01,367 --> 00:25:02,533 THEY WERE TALKING TO YOU? 621 00:25:02,567 --> 00:25:03,533 I MEAN, THAT'S CRAZY. 622 00:25:03,567 --> 00:25:04,533 A WHOLE CONVERSATION. 623 00:25:04,567 --> 00:25:05,967 OKAY. 624 00:25:08,300 --> 00:25:12,067 SO HOW ABOUT YOU WITH ME? 625 00:25:12,067 --> 00:25:14,733 UM... 626 00:25:14,767 --> 00:25:16,100 I THOUGHT YOU WERE A HOTTIE. 627 00:25:16,133 --> 00:25:17,133 GET OUT. 628 00:25:17,167 --> 00:25:18,267 I DID. 629 00:25:18,300 --> 00:25:19,333 [SCOFFS] 630 00:25:23,900 --> 00:25:27,100 DID YOU REALLY? 631 00:25:27,133 --> 00:25:29,900 YEAH. 632 00:25:29,933 --> 00:25:31,967 REALLY. 633 00:25:32,067 --> 00:25:33,300 [LAUGHING NERVOUSLY] 634 00:25:51,667 --> 00:25:56,467 DANA? 635 00:25:56,500 --> 00:25:58,533 YEAH? 636 00:25:58,567 --> 00:26:02,067 YOU HAVE A REALLY NICE ASS. 637 00:26:09,700 --> 00:26:12,267 [***] 638 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:22,133 GOD... 639 00:26:22,167 --> 00:26:23,133 OH, GOD. 640 00:26:23,167 --> 00:26:24,167 TAKE ME... 641 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:25,533 JUST TAKE ME NOW. 642 00:26:25,567 --> 00:26:27,500 OKAY. 643 00:26:27,533 --> 00:26:28,767 OKAY, HERE. 644 00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:29,967 HELP ME. 645 00:26:31,733 --> 00:26:34,567 I JUST WANT TO... 646 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:36,667 [MOANING] 647 00:26:36,700 --> 00:26:38,167 JUST KISS ME. 648 00:26:43,167 --> 00:26:44,200 TAKE MY PANTS OFF. 649 00:26:44,233 --> 00:26:45,633 TAKE MY PANTS OFF. 650 00:26:45,667 --> 00:26:47,333 OKAY. OKAY. 651 00:26:47,367 --> 00:26:48,100 THEY'RE TIGHT. 652 00:26:48,133 --> 00:26:49,167 YEAH. 653 00:26:52,733 --> 00:26:54,067 OKAY, PULL. 654 00:26:54,100 --> 00:26:57,067 OH, GOD, I JUST WANT TO FUCK YOU. 655 00:26:57,100 --> 00:26:58,667 PULL. 656 00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:00,967 OH... 657 00:27:01,067 --> 00:27:02,433 ARE YOU OKAY? 658 00:27:02,467 --> 00:27:03,333 YEAH. 659 00:27:03,367 --> 00:27:04,333 YOU OKAY? YEAH, YEAH. 660 00:27:04,367 --> 00:27:07,933 ARE YOU OKAY? YEAH. 661 00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:13,467 GET IT OFF! 662 00:27:13,500 --> 00:27:14,567 I CAN'T. 663 00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:16,433 IT'S TIGHT. 664 00:27:16,467 --> 00:27:17,400 DON'T RIP IT. 665 00:27:18,533 --> 00:27:19,600 UGH! 666 00:27:23,067 --> 00:27:25,633 [***] 667 00:27:39,967 --> 00:27:41,367 ARE YOU OKAY? 668 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:42,967 I WANT MORE OF YOU. 669 00:27:43,067 --> 00:27:44,800 OH... 670 00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:49,767 NO, NO. 671 00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:51,700 FINGERS... 672 00:27:51,733 --> 00:27:54,300 FINGERS. MORE FINGERS. 673 00:28:33,900 --> 00:28:36,133 YOU ARE MAKING THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE 674 00:28:36,167 --> 00:28:37,533 IF YOU SIGN WITH THE BRUCKHEIMERS. 675 00:28:37,567 --> 00:28:40,500 DO YOU KNOW WHO VERONICA BLOOM IS? 676 00:28:40,533 --> 00:28:42,533 AARON, THAT'S ENOUGH. 677 00:28:42,567 --> 00:28:45,467 WHY DON'T WE LET PRISCILLA HAVE A MINUTE TO BREATHE? 678 00:28:47,567 --> 00:28:48,867 WHAT? 679 00:28:48,900 --> 00:28:50,900 [WHISPERING] YOU STAY HERE. 680 00:29:03,067 --> 00:29:05,367 [KIDS LAUGHING NEARBY] 681 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:06,400 YOU WANT SOME FRUIT JUICE 682 00:29:06,433 --> 00:29:07,900 OR SOMETHING? 683 00:29:07,933 --> 00:29:09,633 OH, NO. 684 00:29:09,667 --> 00:29:12,600 NO, NO, NO, I'M OKAY, THANK YOU. 685 00:29:15,233 --> 00:29:16,467 SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR THE MOVIES? 686 00:29:16,500 --> 00:29:18,933 ARE YOU, LIKE, A PRODUCER OR SOMETHING? 687 00:29:18,967 --> 00:29:20,433 [LAUGHS] 688 00:29:20,467 --> 00:29:21,567 FUCK, NO. 689 00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:23,533 I'M A HAIRSTYLIST... 690 00:29:25,167 --> 00:29:29,400 AND I GUESS I'M VERONICA'S ASSISTANT, TOO. 691 00:29:29,433 --> 00:29:30,567 REALLY. 692 00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:31,600 HAIRSTYLIST. 693 00:29:31,633 --> 00:29:33,400 YUP. 694 00:29:34,933 --> 00:29:37,433 THAT'S SOMETHING I ALWAYS WANTED TO DO. 695 00:29:37,467 --> 00:29:39,633 YOU COULD DO IT. 696 00:29:45,267 --> 00:29:47,367 YOU KNOW, I, UH... 697 00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:49,600 I USED TO DO WHAT YOU DO, KIND OF. 698 00:29:49,633 --> 00:29:52,667 REALLY? 699 00:29:52,700 --> 00:29:53,933 YEAH. 700 00:29:53,967 --> 00:29:58,567 YEAH, I USED TO TRICK AROUND SANTA MONICA BOULEVARD, 701 00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:02,067 AND, UH, THERE WAS THIS GUY. 702 00:30:02,100 --> 00:30:04,267 HE WAS, YOU KNOW, HE WAS WEIRD, 703 00:30:04,300 --> 00:30:05,933 BUT HE WAS OKAY. 704 00:30:05,967 --> 00:30:10,100 HE SENT ME TO HAIRDRESSING SCHOOL. 705 00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:19,533 IS SHE OKAY? 706 00:30:25,633 --> 00:30:27,467 WELL, I GUESS I CALLED IT, 707 00:30:27,500 --> 00:30:29,367 DIDN'T I, SHANE? 708 00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:30,467 YOU'RE THE CLOSER. 709 00:30:32,133 --> 00:30:33,767 YES, I KNOW. 710 00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:34,767 V, THAT IS AWESOME. 711 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:35,867 CONGRATULATIONS. 712 00:30:35,900 --> 00:30:37,533 I HAD TO ADD A CAVEAT IN WRITING 713 00:30:37,567 --> 00:30:39,033 TO HER DEAL MEMO. 714 00:30:39,067 --> 00:30:41,633 PRISCILLA NOW HAS IT IN HER DEAL 715 00:30:41,667 --> 00:30:45,600 THAT SHE GETS TO WORK WITH YOU. 716 00:30:45,633 --> 00:30:47,267 OH, VERONICA, THAT'S NOT COOL. 717 00:30:47,300 --> 00:30:50,300 IT'S TOTALLY COOL, SHANE. 718 00:30:50,333 --> 00:30:51,800 WE DID IT. 719 00:30:51,833 --> 00:30:53,200 WE DID IT. WE FUCKING DID IT. 720 00:30:53,233 --> 00:30:56,467 THIS IS GOING TO BE A PHENOMENAL PROJECT! 721 00:30:56,500 --> 00:30:58,733 TOTAL ACADEMY AWARDS TIME. 722 00:30:58,767 --> 00:31:02,233 I AM THINKING ANGELINA JOLIE. 723 00:31:02,267 --> 00:31:04,167 MAYBE JULIA ROBERTS... 724 00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:05,267 MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL 725 00:31:05,300 --> 00:31:08,400 IF WE WANT TO DO SOMETHING REALLY QUIRKY. 726 00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:13,067 YOU KNOW, THIS IS GREAT. 727 00:31:13,067 --> 00:31:17,067 AND YOU SHOULD ALL BE REALLY PROUD OF YOURSELVES. 728 00:31:17,067 --> 00:31:18,900 EXCUSE ME. I'M JUST GOING TO-- 729 00:31:18,933 --> 00:31:20,133 CUT. 730 00:31:20,167 --> 00:31:21,367 I'M JUST GOING TO-- I'LL BE BACK. 731 00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:23,100 I'LL COME BACK AND TALK TO YOU, OKAY? 732 00:31:26,067 --> 00:31:27,400 WHEN'S YOUR BABY DUE? 733 00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:30,867 OH... 734 00:31:30,900 --> 00:31:32,167 I'M AT 14 WEEKS. 735 00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:34,100 ARE YOU HAVING TWINS? 736 00:31:37,767 --> 00:31:40,067 HEY, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL. 737 00:31:40,067 --> 00:31:43,233 I DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. 738 00:31:43,267 --> 00:31:44,833 THAT'S OKAY. 739 00:31:44,867 --> 00:31:46,700 I-I'M JUST STARTING TO GET USED TO SHOWING. 740 00:31:49,067 --> 00:31:51,267 I FIND IT QUITE SEXY, ACTUALLY. 741 00:31:53,467 --> 00:31:56,233 MY KIDS ARE STILL IN NEW YORK. 742 00:31:56,267 --> 00:31:59,233 CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MUCH I MISS THEM. 743 00:31:59,267 --> 00:32:00,533 YOU HAVE CHILDREN? 744 00:32:00,567 --> 00:32:01,533 MM... 745 00:32:01,567 --> 00:32:02,600 ONE ADOPTED, 746 00:32:02,633 --> 00:32:04,867 ONE MY PARTNER GAVE BIRTH TO. 747 00:32:04,900 --> 00:32:06,067 OH. 748 00:32:06,067 --> 00:32:08,067 WE'RE SEPARATED. 749 00:32:08,100 --> 00:32:11,433 JUST TO GET THAT OUT OF THE WAY. 750 00:32:11,467 --> 00:32:14,767 MY PARTNER AND I ARE, TOO. 751 00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:16,333 I'M DOING THIS ON MY OWN. 752 00:32:16,367 --> 00:32:19,933 YOU KNOW, I HAVE A FEELING YOU AND I ARE GOING TO FIND OUT 753 00:32:19,967 --> 00:32:21,700 WE HAVE QUITE A LOT IN COMMON. 754 00:32:21,733 --> 00:32:24,367 [LAUGHS] 755 00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:25,967 HAVE DINNER WITH ME TONIGHT. 756 00:32:28,833 --> 00:32:32,067 MY FRIEND IS HAVING THIS BACHELORETTES PARTY, 757 00:32:32,100 --> 00:32:33,900 AND I HAVE TO-- 758 00:32:33,933 --> 00:32:34,900 TINA... 759 00:32:34,933 --> 00:32:36,267 EXCUSE ME. 760 00:32:36,300 --> 00:32:37,433 UH, BETTE'S HERE. 761 00:32:37,467 --> 00:32:38,700 SHE'S GOT FLOWERS. 762 00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:48,067 THAT'S MY EX. 763 00:32:48,067 --> 00:32:51,067 I'VE BEEN THERE. 764 00:32:51,067 --> 00:32:52,567 GO AHEAD. 765 00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:55,167 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. EXCUSE ME. 766 00:33:01,100 --> 00:33:04,233 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 767 00:33:04,267 --> 00:33:05,867 I'M REALLY SORRY THAT WE FOUGHT. 768 00:33:05,900 --> 00:33:07,733 I JUST... 769 00:33:07,767 --> 00:33:08,800 I WANT TO TRY TO MAKE IT UP. 770 00:33:08,833 --> 00:33:11,133 WELL, MAYBE, BUT NOT RIGHT NOW. 771 00:33:11,167 --> 00:33:13,333 RIGHT NOW I'M DOING SOMETHING. 772 00:33:13,367 --> 00:33:15,133 WELL, YOU KNOW, 773 00:33:15,167 --> 00:33:16,533 YOU SAID SOME PRETTY HURTFUL THINGS, TOO. 774 00:33:16,567 --> 00:33:18,133 I'M JUST HERE TO SAY LET'S LEAVE IT BEHIND US, 775 00:33:18,167 --> 00:33:19,833 AND, YOU KNOW, WE WERE DOING WELL. 776 00:33:19,867 --> 00:33:20,967 YEAH, AND I'M SAYING 777 00:33:21,067 --> 00:33:22,333 YOU CAN'T JUST THROW FLOWERS AT IT 778 00:33:22,367 --> 00:33:23,933 AND EXPECT IT TO GO AWAY. 779 00:33:23,967 --> 00:33:26,400 NOT EVERYTHING CAN BE ON YOUR TIME, BETTE. 780 00:33:26,433 --> 00:33:28,833 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 781 00:33:28,867 --> 00:33:31,067 HELLO, BETTE. 782 00:33:31,067 --> 00:33:33,633 I'LL BE JUST A MINUTE, HELENA. 783 00:33:33,667 --> 00:33:34,633 IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT? 784 00:33:34,667 --> 00:33:36,533 WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? 785 00:33:36,567 --> 00:33:37,633 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 786 00:33:37,667 --> 00:33:41,167 I'M HERE TO PUBLICIZE OUR GRANT ANNOUNCEMENTS. 787 00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:42,700 THE FOUNDATION WANTS TO SEND A MESSAGE 788 00:33:42,733 --> 00:33:43,767 ABOUT OUR NEW AGENDA. 789 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:46,233 THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT. 790 00:33:46,267 --> 00:33:49,133 WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY GIRLFRIEND? 791 00:33:49,167 --> 00:33:50,333 BETTE-- 792 00:33:50,367 --> 00:33:51,500 IT'S REALLY NONE OF MY BUSINESS, 793 00:33:51,533 --> 00:33:52,800 BUT TINA DOESN'T SEEM TO THINK 794 00:33:52,833 --> 00:33:54,067 SHE REALLY IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND 795 00:33:54,067 --> 00:33:55,067 ANY LONGER. 796 00:33:55,067 --> 00:33:56,233 WELL, THAT WOULD BE RIGHT. 797 00:33:56,267 --> 00:33:57,733 IT REALLY IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. 798 00:33:57,767 --> 00:33:59,633 STOP IT. 799 00:33:59,667 --> 00:34:01,833 TINA, I'M SORRY. 800 00:34:01,867 --> 00:34:03,233 YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T BE DEALING 801 00:34:03,267 --> 00:34:04,267 WITH THIS KIND OF NONSENSE, 802 00:34:04,300 --> 00:34:06,900 ESPECIALLY NOT IN YOUR CONDITION. 803 00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:10,800 WHAT CONDITION IS THAT? 804 00:34:17,067 --> 00:34:20,933 [***] 805 00:34:32,900 --> 00:34:34,300 [CHATTING QUIETLY] 806 00:34:34,333 --> 00:34:35,533 [CHUCKLES] 807 00:34:35,567 --> 00:34:37,233 [DOOR UNLOCKING] 808 00:34:39,167 --> 00:34:41,067 TONYA, HONEY. 809 00:34:41,067 --> 00:34:42,667 OH, CRAP! 810 00:34:42,700 --> 00:34:43,767 YOU DON'T WANT HER TO SEE IT. 811 00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:44,833 GOOD CALL, MOM. 812 00:34:44,867 --> 00:34:46,067 IT'S NO SWEAT, PRINCESS. 813 00:34:46,100 --> 00:34:47,500 I'LL STOW IT IN THE CAR. 814 00:34:47,533 --> 00:34:49,167 OH, YOU CUTIE. 815 00:34:50,533 --> 00:34:51,933 YOO-HOO! 816 00:34:51,967 --> 00:34:53,467 HOW ARE THE BACHELORETTE GIFT BAGS COMING? 817 00:34:58,367 --> 00:35:00,433 LOOK AT THESE TWO-- 818 00:35:00,467 --> 00:35:01,433 SO HARD WORKING 819 00:35:01,467 --> 00:35:03,633 WHEN WE WERE OUT HAVING FUN. 820 00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:08,100 POOKIE... OH, YOU HAVE TO-- 821 00:35:08,133 --> 00:35:09,233 MOM, NOW, THIS IS ALICE. 822 00:35:09,267 --> 00:35:10,767 THIS IS DANA'S BEST FRIEND. 823 00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:13,433 THIS IS MY MOM, DOTTIE. 824 00:35:13,467 --> 00:35:15,133 HI! 825 00:35:16,567 --> 00:35:17,533 HI. 826 00:35:17,567 --> 00:35:18,533 HELLO. 827 00:35:18,567 --> 00:35:19,833 OH, AND, POOKIE, 828 00:35:19,867 --> 00:35:21,067 WE HAVE TO SHOW YOU WHAT WE BOUGHT. 829 00:35:21,067 --> 00:35:22,100 OH, YOU WILL JUST DIE. 830 00:35:22,133 --> 00:35:23,067 COME ON. 831 00:35:25,933 --> 00:35:27,800 [TONYA]: I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU... 832 00:35:27,833 --> 00:35:30,967 COME ON. COME. COME SEE! 833 00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:02,800 MONSTROSITY. 834 00:36:02,833 --> 00:36:06,600 [***] 835 00:36:06,633 --> 00:36:08,133 HI. 836 00:36:08,167 --> 00:36:10,267 CAN I HELP YOU, PLEASE? 837 00:36:10,300 --> 00:36:12,167 [WOMAN]: WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU? 838 00:36:17,433 --> 00:36:18,667 OKAY. 839 00:36:21,133 --> 00:36:22,933 [OINKING] 840 00:36:25,233 --> 00:36:28,533 [PIGS SQUEALING AND OINKING] 841 00:36:34,833 --> 00:36:37,167 STOP STARING. 842 00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:38,200 STOP STARING. 843 00:36:38,233 --> 00:36:39,500 WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU? 844 00:36:39,533 --> 00:36:41,467 SHE'S FLESH AND BLOOD JUST LIKE WE ARE. 845 00:36:41,500 --> 00:36:44,100 NO. 846 00:36:44,133 --> 00:36:46,500 SHE CAN'T HELP IT. 847 00:36:46,533 --> 00:36:48,800 [JENNY'S VOICE ECHOES]: MONSTROSITY... 848 00:36:48,833 --> 00:36:52,167 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 849 00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:53,167 HELLO? 850 00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:55,800 [WOMAN]: HELLO! 851 00:36:55,833 --> 00:36:56,800 WHO IS THAT? 852 00:36:56,833 --> 00:36:59,100 IT'S BETTE. 853 00:37:00,233 --> 00:37:01,900 HI. 854 00:37:01,933 --> 00:37:02,900 I'M SORRY TO BUST IN ON YOU. 855 00:37:02,933 --> 00:37:03,933 I JUST... 856 00:37:03,967 --> 00:37:04,967 IS SHANE HERE? 857 00:37:05,067 --> 00:37:06,067 NO, NOT RIGHT NOW. 858 00:37:06,100 --> 00:37:08,200 DID YOU KNOW THAT TINA WAS PREGNANT? 859 00:37:08,233 --> 00:37:09,933 YEAH. 860 00:37:12,500 --> 00:37:13,967 BETTE, YOU DIDN'T KNOW? 861 00:37:14,067 --> 00:37:16,067 [LETS OUT A BREATH] 862 00:37:18,433 --> 00:37:20,267 OH, MY, GOD, HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW? 863 00:37:20,300 --> 00:37:23,067 BECAUSE I'M JUST THE BIGGEST FUCKING ASSHOLE IN THE UNIVERSE. 864 00:37:23,100 --> 00:37:24,600 I GUESS THAT'S HOW! 865 00:37:24,633 --> 00:37:27,733 BECAUSE I'M JUST SOME KIND OF HUGE COSMOLOGICAL JOKE 866 00:37:27,767 --> 00:37:29,267 IS WHAT I AM. 867 00:37:29,300 --> 00:37:31,633 NO, YOU'RE NOT. 868 00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:35,867 OKAY? 869 00:37:35,900 --> 00:37:40,400 UM, TINA OBVIOUSLY MUST HAVE GONE OUT OF HER WAY 870 00:37:40,433 --> 00:37:43,333 TO KEEP THIS A SECRET FROM YOU. 871 00:37:46,067 --> 00:37:49,300 SHE MUST HATE ME. 872 00:37:49,333 --> 00:37:52,733 SHE MUST ACTUALLY FUCKING HATE ME. 873 00:37:52,767 --> 00:37:55,533 NO. 874 00:37:55,567 --> 00:37:59,600 SHE DOESN'T HATE YOU. 875 00:37:59,633 --> 00:38:01,833 COME HERE. 876 00:38:03,667 --> 00:38:05,733 COME HERE. 877 00:38:12,500 --> 00:38:14,967 I THINK THAT THIS 878 00:38:15,067 --> 00:38:17,400 IS SO MUCH MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT... 879 00:38:25,167 --> 00:38:27,600 AND YOU CAN'T GIVE UP, OKAY? 880 00:38:30,967 --> 00:38:32,867 [LAUGHS] 881 00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:39,400 YOU CUT YOUR HAIR. 882 00:38:41,433 --> 00:38:44,067 IT LOOKS GREAT... 883 00:38:44,067 --> 00:38:45,200 WOW. 884 00:38:45,233 --> 00:38:46,600 YOU LOOK GREAT. 885 00:38:46,633 --> 00:38:49,133 OKAY, I TAKE YOUR POINT, MAN. 886 00:38:49,167 --> 00:38:50,233 YEAH. HIDDEN CAMERAS, MAN. 887 00:38:50,267 --> 00:38:51,267 IT'S THE WAY TO DO THIS. 888 00:38:51,300 --> 00:38:53,933 OH, FUCK. 889 00:38:53,967 --> 00:38:55,900 ALL RIGHT, WE WILL DO A FEW MORE, 890 00:38:55,933 --> 00:38:57,467 BUT STRATEGICALLY 891 00:38:57,500 --> 00:38:59,267 AND RESPECTFULLY PLACED. 892 00:38:59,300 --> 00:39:02,067 FUCK RESPECTFULLY. 893 00:39:02,067 --> 00:39:03,067 DUDE... 894 00:39:04,167 --> 00:39:05,733 [***] 895 00:39:19,567 --> 00:39:22,633 AREN'T YOU GIRLS BRAVE 896 00:39:22,667 --> 00:39:24,867 TO GET WAY UP THERE? 897 00:39:24,900 --> 00:39:26,633 DON'T YOU LIKE THEM? 898 00:39:26,667 --> 00:39:28,700 ISN'T IT GREAT? 899 00:39:28,733 --> 00:39:30,667 OH, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. 900 00:39:30,700 --> 00:39:32,533 [SHRIEKS WITH LAUGHTER] 901 00:39:34,067 --> 00:39:36,067 OH, WHO'S GOING TO GET IT? 902 00:39:36,067 --> 00:39:37,300 OOH, THERE YOU GO. 903 00:39:37,333 --> 00:39:38,400 [LAUGHING] 904 00:39:38,433 --> 00:39:39,700 NOW, LOOKIT, YOU HAVE TO DO THIS. 905 00:39:39,733 --> 00:39:41,300 SHARON, WATCH. 906 00:39:44,067 --> 00:39:45,167 THERE YOU GO. 907 00:39:47,733 --> 00:39:51,333 I'VE BEEN TO VEGAS, AND I THINK... 908 00:39:51,367 --> 00:39:52,533 [KIT]: SHARON, IT'S TIME TO MAKE YOUR TOAST, HONEY. 909 00:39:52,567 --> 00:39:54,200 OH, IS IT TIME? 910 00:39:54,233 --> 00:39:56,233 OKAY. 911 00:39:56,267 --> 00:39:58,400 OH, THANK YOU, DEAR. 912 00:39:58,433 --> 00:40:00,833 CARMEN... 913 00:40:03,667 --> 00:40:05,300 THANK YOU. 914 00:40:05,333 --> 00:40:06,933 EXCUSE ME, EVERYONE... 915 00:40:06,967 --> 00:40:08,167 EVERYONE? 916 00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:12,233 HI. I'M SHARON FAIRBANKS. 917 00:40:12,267 --> 00:40:13,233 I'M DANA'S MOTHER. 918 00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:18,033 WHEN MY DAUGHTER, 919 00:40:18,067 --> 00:40:21,100 THE BRIDE, 920 00:40:21,133 --> 00:40:23,033 FIRST CAME OUT TO ME, I... 921 00:40:23,067 --> 00:40:25,900 I DIDN'T TAKE IT VERY WELL. 922 00:40:25,933 --> 00:40:29,067 ACTUALLY, I TOOK IT PRETTY BADLY... 923 00:40:29,100 --> 00:40:32,500 VERY BADLY. 924 00:40:32,533 --> 00:40:35,133 BUT SINCE I'VE COME TO KNOW TONYA, 925 00:40:35,167 --> 00:40:38,667 I THINK IT'S ABSOLUTELY THE RIGHT THING 926 00:40:38,700 --> 00:40:41,300 FOR MY DAUGHTER. 927 00:40:41,333 --> 00:40:42,533 [WOMAN]: ISN'T THAT SWEET? 928 00:40:42,567 --> 00:40:43,867 DANA... 929 00:40:43,900 --> 00:40:46,367 I CAN SEE THAT YOU'VE FOUND LOVE... 930 00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:50,367 AND IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT FORM IT TAKES. 931 00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:54,733 ALL THAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU'RE HAPPY. 932 00:40:54,767 --> 00:40:56,867 I LOVE YOU, DANA, 933 00:40:56,900 --> 00:40:59,033 AND I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW 934 00:40:59,067 --> 00:41:03,733 THAT I GIVE TONYA AND YOU MY BLESSING. 935 00:41:05,567 --> 00:41:07,600 [CROWD APPLAUDS] 936 00:41:25,833 --> 00:41:27,267 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 937 00:41:27,300 --> 00:41:30,533 [***] 938 00:41:39,900 --> 00:41:41,700 HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY. 939 00:41:41,733 --> 00:41:43,867 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 940 00:41:43,900 --> 00:41:44,933 NOWHERE. I WAS. I WAS... 941 00:41:44,967 --> 00:41:47,067 I FORGOT A GIFT. 942 00:41:49,333 --> 00:41:53,867 I WAS GOING TO GET A GIFT. 943 00:41:53,900 --> 00:41:57,533 YOU DID IT, DIDN'T YOU? 944 00:41:57,567 --> 00:42:00,433 YOU AND DANA. 945 00:42:00,467 --> 00:42:01,433 WHAT? NO. 946 00:42:01,467 --> 00:42:02,967 NO, NO, NO. 947 00:42:09,633 --> 00:42:11,967 YEAH. 948 00:42:22,933 --> 00:42:24,733 ALL RIGHT. 949 00:42:24,767 --> 00:42:26,167 HAND ME THOSE PLIERS. 950 00:43:00,733 --> 00:43:01,933 ARE YOU SURE 951 00:43:01,967 --> 00:43:02,967 THAT YOU'RE GOING TO BE OKAY? 952 00:43:03,067 --> 00:43:04,700 YEAH. I'M JUST GOING TO GO FIND KIT. 953 00:43:04,733 --> 00:43:05,967 OKAY. 954 00:43:06,067 --> 00:43:07,233 BUT THANKS FOR COMING WITH ME. 955 00:43:07,267 --> 00:43:08,533 GOOD LUCK. 956 00:43:12,333 --> 00:43:13,300 HOW ARE YOU? 957 00:43:13,333 --> 00:43:14,300 I'M GOOD. 958 00:43:14,333 --> 00:43:15,333 I'M GLAD YOU SHOWED UP. 959 00:43:15,367 --> 00:43:18,267 WELL, I GOT SOME WRITING DONE, 960 00:43:18,300 --> 00:43:20,400 AND I HAD A BURST OF CONFIDENCE. 961 00:43:20,433 --> 00:43:21,833 SO THERE. 962 00:43:21,867 --> 00:43:23,100 GOOD. 963 00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:28,633 YOU SHOULD TALK TO HER. 964 00:43:28,667 --> 00:43:29,700 I CAN'T. 965 00:43:29,733 --> 00:43:31,500 I CAN'T, SHANE. SHE THINKS I'M SO WEIRD. 966 00:43:31,533 --> 00:43:32,733 [LAUGHS] 967 00:43:32,767 --> 00:43:35,067 SHE DOES. 968 00:43:35,067 --> 00:43:37,533 YEAH, SHE PROBABLY DOES, 969 00:43:37,567 --> 00:43:43,533 BUT IF SHE'S AS COOL AS I KNOW SHE IS, 970 00:43:43,567 --> 00:43:46,100 IT WON'T PUT HER OFF. 971 00:43:46,133 --> 00:43:48,067 OKAY. 972 00:43:48,067 --> 00:43:49,400 WHAT SHOULD I DO? 973 00:43:52,667 --> 00:43:56,167 IT'S ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA TO BRING THE DJ A DRINK. 974 00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:57,200 ARE YOU SERIOUS? 975 00:43:57,233 --> 00:43:58,533 YEAH. 976 00:43:58,567 --> 00:43:59,900 OKAY. 977 00:44:00,067 --> 00:44:04,867 UM, MAY I... HAVE A BEER, PLEASE? 978 00:44:04,900 --> 00:44:06,400 THANK YOU. 979 00:44:11,167 --> 00:44:13,267 OH, FUCK. 980 00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:17,567 HOW DO YOU LIKE THE PARTY? 981 00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:18,567 OH, IT'S GREAT. 982 00:44:18,600 --> 00:44:20,467 HAVE YOU SEEN ALICE? 983 00:44:28,567 --> 00:44:30,467 IT'S TIME FOR YOUR BACHELORETTE LAP DANCE. 984 00:44:30,500 --> 00:44:32,233 NO, NOT IN FRONT OF MY MOTHER. 985 00:44:32,267 --> 00:44:33,467 WHAT ARE YOU, SILLY? 986 00:44:33,500 --> 00:44:35,067 LOOK. 987 00:44:42,333 --> 00:44:43,400 I THINK SHE'S HAVING A GOOD TIME. 988 00:44:49,633 --> 00:44:50,567 CHECK IT OUT. 989 00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:51,600 THERE'S NINE ALTOGETHER. 990 00:44:51,633 --> 00:44:55,100 OH, FUCKING AWESOME. 991 00:44:55,133 --> 00:44:57,300 UM, WHAT ABOUT THE REST? 992 00:44:57,333 --> 00:44:58,633 WHAT REST? 993 00:44:58,667 --> 00:44:59,900 BEDROOMS, BATHROOM-- 994 00:45:00,067 --> 00:45:02,367 DUDE, HAVE A LITTLE FUCKING RESPECT. 995 00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:03,500 THEY'RE MY ROOMMATES. 996 00:45:03,533 --> 00:45:05,467 JESUS. 997 00:45:08,833 --> 00:45:11,633 [LAUGHS] 998 00:45:11,667 --> 00:45:12,933 LOOK, I DIDN'T DO BATHROOMS, MAN. 999 00:45:12,967 --> 00:45:14,367 THAT CROSSES A PERSONAL LINE FOR ME, BUT, UH... 1000 00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:17,267 WE'RE IN. 1001 00:45:17,300 --> 00:45:18,467 SWEET, MAN. 1002 00:45:29,067 --> 00:45:32,200 HOW LONG HAVE YOU ALL KNOWN? 1003 00:45:32,233 --> 00:45:34,133 NOT LONG. 1004 00:45:34,167 --> 00:45:35,133 I MEAN, SHE WAS HIDING IT FROM EVERYBODY. 1005 00:45:35,167 --> 00:45:36,133 SHE PROBABLY DIDN'T KNOW 1006 00:45:36,167 --> 00:45:37,133 WHAT TO SAY, BETTE. 1007 00:45:38,833 --> 00:45:41,567 DON'T KILL YOURSELF OVER IT. 1008 00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:43,133 YOU KNOW, IRONICALLY, 1009 00:45:43,167 --> 00:45:44,300 I WAS ACTUALLY PLEASED TO SEE THAT SHE HAD PUT ON WEIGHT, 1010 00:45:44,333 --> 00:45:45,767 BECAUSE I THOUGHT, NUMBER ONE, 1011 00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:47,433 IT MEANS THAT IF SHE'S EATING TO COVER HER PAIN, 1012 00:45:47,467 --> 00:45:50,300 THAT MEANS SHE'S REALLY ACTUALLY STILL IN LOVE WITH ME, 1013 00:45:50,333 --> 00:45:51,433 AND TWO, IF SHE'S OVERWEIGHT, 1014 00:45:51,467 --> 00:45:52,533 THEN MAYBE SHE MIGHT HAVE TROUBLE 1015 00:45:52,567 --> 00:45:54,333 FINDING SOMEONE ELSE, 1016 00:45:54,367 --> 00:45:56,500 SO I THOUGHT THAT MAYBE, EVENTUALLY, IF SHE COULD LET-- 1017 00:46:03,267 --> 00:46:05,367 [ALICE]: JESUS, MARY, AND JOSEPH, WHO'S THAT? 1018 00:46:07,633 --> 00:46:09,933 MAKE ME ANOTHER. MAKE IT A DOUBLE, PLEASE. 1019 00:46:09,967 --> 00:46:13,900 HEY, BABY SIS, WHAT'S UP? 1020 00:46:18,100 --> 00:46:20,067 WHO THAT? 1021 00:46:20,067 --> 00:46:22,367 THAT'S HELENA PEABODY. 1022 00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:26,233 I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE BROUGHT HER HERE. 1023 00:46:26,267 --> 00:46:29,833 YOU WANT ME TO ASK HER TO LEAVE? 1024 00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:35,633 CONGRATULATIONS. 1025 00:46:35,667 --> 00:46:38,167 HI! 1026 00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:39,267 HOW ARE YOU? 1027 00:46:39,300 --> 00:46:40,833 GOOD, GOOD. 1028 00:46:40,867 --> 00:46:41,833 HI. 1029 00:46:41,867 --> 00:46:43,567 HI. HELENA PEABODY. 1030 00:46:43,600 --> 00:46:44,700 HI. 1031 00:46:44,733 --> 00:46:45,933 THANK YOU. NICE TO MEET YOU. 1032 00:46:45,967 --> 00:46:48,867 DANA, TONYA, THIS IS HELENA PEABODY. 1033 00:46:48,900 --> 00:46:50,767 I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND MY CRASHING YOUR PARTY. 1034 00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:54,167 AT LEAST I DIDN'T COME EMPTY HANDED. 1035 00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:55,567 FROM ME AND TINA. 1036 00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:57,867 PRESENTS! 1037 00:46:57,900 --> 00:47:01,500 [HELENA]: JUST A FEW THINGS WE SCROUNGED UP. 1038 00:47:03,067 --> 00:47:05,067 MM-HMM, HERE WE GO. 1039 00:47:05,067 --> 00:47:08,367 THE PHILLIPS SENSEO COFFEE POT SYSTEM! 1040 00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:11,200 OH, AND A KETTLE-- 1041 00:47:11,233 --> 00:47:13,067 WOW, THAT'S VERY, VERY GENEROUS. 1042 00:47:13,067 --> 00:47:15,067 OH, HELLO. 1043 00:47:15,100 --> 00:47:16,300 HELLO. 1044 00:47:16,333 --> 00:47:17,467 I'M AFRAID I MAY HAVE OVERCOMPENSATED. 1045 00:47:20,500 --> 00:47:21,833 YOU KNOW HOW IT IS 1046 00:47:21,867 --> 00:47:23,333 WHEN YOU'RE THE UNINVITED GUEST. 1047 00:47:23,367 --> 00:47:25,367 ACTUALLY, I'VE NEVER BEEN THE UNINVITED GUEST. 1048 00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:28,067 I ALWAYS PREFER NOT TO GO WHERE I'M NOT WANTED. 1049 00:47:28,067 --> 00:47:32,400 WHAT MAKES YOU THINK HELENA'S NOT WANTED? 1050 00:47:43,533 --> 00:47:46,467 INITIAL OBSERVATIONS AND THEORIES. 1051 00:47:46,500 --> 00:47:48,100 [CLEARS THROAT] 1052 00:47:48,133 --> 00:47:52,067 THESE GIRLS TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING. 1053 00:47:52,100 --> 00:47:53,633 NOW, I DON'T KNOW 1054 00:47:53,667 --> 00:47:55,967 IF THAT'S, LIKE, STRICTLY A LESBIAN THING OR WHAT, 1055 00:47:56,067 --> 00:47:58,967 BUT MAN, THESE GIRLS ARE ALL UP IN ONE ANOTHER'S BUSINESS. 1056 00:47:59,067 --> 00:48:00,133 NOW, DON'T GET ME WRONG. 1057 00:48:00,167 --> 00:48:01,800 I MEAN, I THINK THE TALK'S GREAT. 1058 00:48:01,833 --> 00:48:03,500 I'M LOVING THE TALK, BUT, UH, 1059 00:48:03,533 --> 00:48:05,067 I'VE GOT TO ADMIT 1060 00:48:05,067 --> 00:48:06,533 I'M HOPING SOON WE'RE GOING TO GET TO PARTAKE 1061 00:48:06,567 --> 00:48:07,900 IN A LITTLE, UH, ACTION. 1062 00:48:11,433 --> 00:48:14,967 [***] 1063 00:48:27,767 --> 00:48:30,833 ALICE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE IGNORING US. 1064 00:48:30,867 --> 00:48:32,900 NO, I... YOU KNOW... 1065 00:48:32,933 --> 00:48:34,933 EVERYBODY! 1066 00:48:34,967 --> 00:48:35,933 HI! 1067 00:48:35,967 --> 00:48:40,600 EVERYBODY, THIS IS... 1068 00:48:40,633 --> 00:48:42,800 DANA'S BEST FRIEND, 1069 00:48:42,833 --> 00:48:44,567 AND SHE WANTS TO GIVE A TOAST. 1070 00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:46,767 [APPLAUSE] 1071 00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:48,500 UM... 1072 00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:56,067 UH... 1073 00:48:56,067 --> 00:48:58,933 UH... 1074 00:48:58,967 --> 00:49:01,367 CONGRATULATIONS, YOU TWO. 1075 00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:04,567 UM... 1076 00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:05,900 SORRY, I'M A LITTLE... 1077 00:49:05,933 --> 00:49:07,433 I'VE-I'VE KNOWN DANA A LONG TIME, 1078 00:49:07,467 --> 00:49:10,600 AND, UM, 1079 00:49:10,633 --> 00:49:13,500 I GUESS, LIKE MOST THINGS 1080 00:49:13,533 --> 00:49:15,567 THAT ARE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES, 1081 00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:18,133 YOU DON'T SEE JUST HOW WONDERFUL THEY ARE 1082 00:49:18,167 --> 00:49:20,867 UNTIL THEY'RE GONE. 1083 00:49:20,900 --> 00:49:24,733 UM... 1084 00:49:24,767 --> 00:49:25,933 TONYA... 1085 00:49:25,967 --> 00:49:29,867 UM... 1086 00:49:29,900 --> 00:49:36,333 YOU ARE THE LUCKIEST WOMAN ON EARTH. 1087 00:49:36,367 --> 00:49:41,500 TO MY FRIEND... 1088 00:49:41,533 --> 00:49:43,367 WHAT CAN I SAY. 1089 00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:46,067 UM... 1090 00:49:46,067 --> 00:49:50,067 CONGRATULATIONS. 1091 00:49:55,067 --> 00:49:58,233 I LOVE YOU, SO... 1092 00:50:01,067 --> 00:50:02,733 OKAY. 1093 00:50:02,767 --> 00:50:05,367 [APPLAUSE] 1094 00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:14,567 [***] 1095 00:50:58,600 --> 00:51:00,167 WHAT DO YOU SAY WE LEAVE, 1096 00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:02,067 QUIT TORTURING OURSELVES? 1097 00:51:05,467 --> 00:51:07,933 JUST SOMETHING I HAVE TO DO. 1098 00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:25,133 [CLINKING GLASS] 1099 00:51:32,533 --> 00:51:36,567 DANA, TONYA... 1100 00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:39,300 I LIFT MY GLASS 1101 00:51:39,333 --> 00:51:44,467 TO CARING AND KINDNESS AND TRUST 1102 00:51:44,500 --> 00:51:48,567 AND LONGEVITY AND RESPECT, 1103 00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:49,900 TO ALL THE THINGS THAT YOU'LL NEED 1104 00:51:49,933 --> 00:51:53,833 TO KEEP YOUR LOVE ALIVE. 1105 00:51:53,867 --> 00:51:59,167 I WISH YOU...HAPPINESS, 1106 00:51:59,200 --> 00:52:03,567 AND I HOPE THAT YOU FOREVER SPARE EACH OTHER PAIN... 1107 00:52:10,100 --> 00:52:14,700 AND IF YOU FIND THAT ISN'T POSSIBLE, 1108 00:52:14,733 --> 00:52:19,400 THEN I WISH YOU FORGIVENESS. 1109 00:52:21,467 --> 00:52:24,067 [APPLAUSE] 1110 00:52:29,667 --> 00:52:33,800 [***] 1111 00:52:47,333 --> 00:52:50,133 [***] 1112 00:53:26,367 --> 00:53:29,300 [***] 1113 00:53:51,600 --> 00:53:54,267 [***]