1 00:00:10,700 --> 00:00:12,167 PLEASE... DON'T LEAVE. 2 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:14,300 YOU ARE A FULL-ON LESBIAN. 3 00:00:14,333 --> 00:00:15,967 YOU JUST WANT TO SLEEP WITH PEOPLE, 4 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,500 MAKE THEM FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU. 5 00:00:17,533 --> 00:00:19,400 JENNY WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT THE REAL DEAL WAS 6 00:00:19,433 --> 00:00:20,800 IF IT BIT HER IN THE ASS. 7 00:00:20,833 --> 00:00:21,800 [SHANE]: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? 8 00:00:21,833 --> 00:00:23,000 [JENNY]: IT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD. 9 00:00:23,033 --> 00:00:24,500 BECAUSE I'M IN CHARGE. 10 00:00:24,533 --> 00:00:26,767 AND IT HELPS ME REMEMBER ALL OF THIS CHILDHOOD SHIT 11 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:27,967 THAT HAPPENS TO ME. 12 00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:32,467 [SOBBING]: I NEED HELP. 13 00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:34,800 YOU'RE JUST BACK FROM CHERIE JAFFE LAND? 14 00:00:34,833 --> 00:00:36,133 [SHANE]: NOTHING'S CHANGED. I'M STILL ME. 15 00:00:36,167 --> 00:00:37,467 YOU DON'T THINK 16 00:00:37,500 --> 00:00:38,467 YOU COULD HAVE CHANGED YOUR PLAN A LITTLE BIT? 17 00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:39,900 I DON'T HAVE A PLAN. 18 00:00:39,933 --> 00:00:41,233 THAT'S THE POINT. 19 00:00:41,267 --> 00:00:43,967 [CARMEN]: DON'T WANT TO GET INVOLVED WITH ANYBODY, 20 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,133 AND THAT IS COOL. 21 00:00:46,167 --> 00:00:48,733 I DON'T FEEL LIKE I HAVE ANYTHING LEFT TO GIVE. 22 00:00:48,767 --> 00:00:50,133 I KNOW HOW HARD YOU WORK-- 23 00:00:50,167 --> 00:00:52,300 KEEP YOURSELF AT A DISTANCE FROM EVERYONE ELSE. 24 00:00:52,333 --> 00:00:54,467 I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO. 25 00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:56,467 THIS IS THE KEY TO MY APARTMENT. 26 00:00:56,500 --> 00:00:57,467 I LIVE TWO BLOCKS 27 00:00:57,500 --> 00:00:58,633 FROM THE PLANET. 28 00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:00,167 IVAN, IT'S NOT A DONE DEAL YET. 29 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:01,733 I'D BE HAPPY TO CO-SIGN ON THE LOAN. 30 00:01:01,767 --> 00:01:03,233 BUT WHAT ABOUT THE DOWN PAYMENT? 31 00:01:03,267 --> 00:01:04,700 [KIT]: THIS IS A DREAM COME TRUE. 32 00:01:04,733 --> 00:01:05,967 LADY WITH THE FLASHING EYES. 33 00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:06,833 THANKS FOR KEEPING ME COMPANY. 34 00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:08,200 I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. 35 00:01:08,233 --> 00:01:10,333 [KIT]: IT WAS MY PLEASURE. 36 00:01:10,367 --> 00:01:11,567 I JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO GET HURT. 37 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:14,700 I KNEW GOING IN WHAT THE DEAL WAS. 38 00:01:14,733 --> 00:01:16,567 I WANT THIS BABY MORE THAN EVER. 39 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,667 I'M NOT EVER GOING TO THINK ABOUT HER AGAIN. 40 00:01:19,700 --> 00:01:21,067 DID YOU FUCK ALL NIGHT 41 00:01:21,067 --> 00:01:23,533 BEFORE YOU TOLD HER I WAS THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE? 42 00:01:23,567 --> 00:01:25,067 YOU GAVE UP YOUR AUTONOMY 43 00:01:25,067 --> 00:01:26,067 IN A RELATIONSHIP 44 00:01:26,067 --> 00:01:27,633 THAT THE LAW DOESN'T RECOGNIZE. 45 00:01:27,667 --> 00:01:29,200 I GOT A CALL FROM TINA'S LAWYER. 46 00:01:29,233 --> 00:01:31,167 TINA, WE CAN FIX THIS. 47 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:33,633 HELENA, I HOPE YOU'RE GOING TO CONTINUE TO SUPPORT THE ARTS. 48 00:01:33,667 --> 00:01:34,667 I DON'T THINK SO. 49 00:01:34,700 --> 00:01:35,733 DID YOU KNOW THAT TINA WAS PREGNANT? 50 00:01:35,767 --> 00:01:36,833 BETTE, YOU DIDN'T KNOW? 51 00:01:38,733 --> 00:01:40,533 WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY GIRLFRIEND? 52 00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:43,067 TINA DOESN'T SEEM TO THINK SHE REALLY IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND. 53 00:01:43,067 --> 00:01:45,200 I NEED TO HAVE SOME KIND OF RESOLUTION 54 00:01:45,233 --> 00:01:46,367 BEFORE THE BABY IS BORN. 55 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:47,800 THAT'S YOUR BABY. 56 00:01:47,833 --> 00:01:49,533 [TINA]: I REALLY LOVED BEING THERE WITH YOU. 57 00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:50,467 COME HERE. 58 00:01:50,500 --> 00:01:51,700 THE BOARD HAS DECIDED 59 00:01:51,733 --> 00:01:54,067 TO BUY OUT YOUR CONTRACT. 60 00:01:54,067 --> 00:01:56,967 I WANT TO MOVE BACK INTO OUR HOUSE. 61 00:01:57,067 --> 00:01:58,300 WELCOME 62 00:01:58,333 --> 00:02:00,233 TO THE FIRST CORPORATE-SPONSORED LESBIAN WEDDING. 63 00:02:00,267 --> 00:02:02,933 ARE YOU MY FIANCEE, TONYA, OR ARE YOU MY MANAGER? 64 00:02:02,967 --> 00:02:04,767 SO IF I WAS TO KISS YOU AGAIN? 65 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:06,600 YOU ALWAYS LET HER GET AWAY. 66 00:02:06,633 --> 00:02:07,267 WE HAVE TO TELL OUR FRIENDS. 67 00:02:07,300 --> 00:02:08,933 I WANT MORE OF YOU. 68 00:02:08,967 --> 00:02:10,267 WE DON'T BELONG TOGETHER. 69 00:02:10,300 --> 00:02:11,467 DON'T NECESSARILY THINK WE SHOULD BE FRIENDS 70 00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:12,467 WITH OUR EXES. 71 00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:14,067 YOU'RE VERY CUTE. OH, SHUT UP. 72 00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:15,100 [GIGGLING] 73 00:02:15,133 --> 00:02:16,133 WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MOVING IN WITH ME? 74 00:02:16,167 --> 00:02:17,133 WHAT? 75 00:02:17,167 --> 00:02:18,867 I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS TURNING INTO SOMEONE 76 00:02:18,900 --> 00:02:21,700 WHO WAS ALL SMOTHERY AND NEEDY AND... 77 00:02:21,733 --> 00:02:24,100 [CROWD CHEERING] 78 00:02:24,133 --> 00:02:26,500 [***] 79 00:02:40,967 --> 00:02:42,367 YOU ARE GONNA HAVE 80 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:45,367 A VERY, VERY INTERESTING LIFE 81 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:50,733 BECAUSE WE ARE SOME VERY, VERY INTERESTING PEOPLE. 82 00:02:50,767 --> 00:02:54,067 [BABY COOING] 83 00:02:56,233 --> 00:02:59,433 [***] 84 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:13,600 OH, MY GOD, WHERE IS IT? 85 00:03:13,633 --> 00:03:16,267 OH, NO, IT'S HORRIBLE. 86 00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:17,667 DON'T SAY IT'S HORRIBLE. 87 00:03:17,700 --> 00:03:19,333 IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 88 00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:21,633 WELL, IT SURE ISN'T BEAUTIFUL. 89 00:03:21,667 --> 00:03:23,967 DOLL, IT LOOKS LIKE BURNT CURTAINS, 90 00:03:24,067 --> 00:03:25,333 BUT I'LL BE DAMNED 91 00:03:25,367 --> 00:03:26,400 IF I'M GOING TO BE CALLED FRIGID 92 00:03:26,433 --> 00:03:27,400 FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE 93 00:03:27,433 --> 00:03:28,600 JUST BECAUSE I DON'T UNDERSTAND 94 00:03:28,633 --> 00:03:30,067 WHAT I'VE GOT GOING ON DOWN THERE. 95 00:03:30,067 --> 00:03:32,767 CAREFUL WITH THE GRANOLA! 96 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:34,067 GIRLS... 97 00:03:34,067 --> 00:03:35,500 IF IT WASN'T FOR THIS GROUP, 98 00:03:35,533 --> 00:03:39,100 I'D STILL THINK VALIUM WAS MY ONLY HOPE FOR SURVIVAL. 99 00:03:39,133 --> 00:03:40,633 AND I WOULD STILL BELIEVE IN THE MYTH 100 00:03:40,667 --> 00:03:42,600 OF THE VAGINAL ORGASM. 101 00:03:42,633 --> 00:03:44,167 THANK YOU, SIGMUND FREUD, 102 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:45,800 YOU PATRONIZING, SEXIST PIG! 103 00:03:45,833 --> 00:03:46,633 WHOO! 104 00:03:46,667 --> 00:03:47,900 CAN I JUST SAY... 105 00:03:47,933 --> 00:03:50,767 I KNOW THIS IS ONLY OUR FIFTH MEETING, 106 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:51,800 BUT I ALREADY FEEL CLOSER TO ALL OF YOU 107 00:03:51,833 --> 00:03:53,067 THAN I DO TO MY OWN HUSBAND. 108 00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:54,333 AW... 109 00:03:54,367 --> 00:03:55,867 I SURE DON'T KNOW ANY HUSBAND 110 00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:57,133 THAT'S GOING TO GET THIS FAMILIAR 111 00:03:57,167 --> 00:04:00,400 WITH A BUNCH OF LADIES' WIFF-WAFFS. 112 00:04:00,433 --> 00:04:02,533 [LAUGHTER] 113 00:04:05,267 --> 00:04:07,300 WHAT ABOUT YOU, SWEETIE? 114 00:04:07,333 --> 00:04:10,067 IS THIS JUST ALL TOO FAR OUT FOR YOU? 115 00:04:10,100 --> 00:04:13,500 OH, NO, I... 116 00:04:13,533 --> 00:04:14,933 WHAT? 117 00:04:14,967 --> 00:04:16,633 COME ON, YOU CAN TELL US. 118 00:04:16,667 --> 00:04:17,867 WE'RE YOUR SISTERS. 119 00:04:17,900 --> 00:04:19,900 YOU CAN TELL US HOW YOU'RE FEELING. 120 00:04:22,067 --> 00:04:24,900 I DIDN'T KNOW... 121 00:04:24,933 --> 00:04:26,567 CHET, HE'S JUST SO FAST 122 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,367 AND CLUMSY. 123 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:33,400 I HAD NO IDEA ABOUT THE, UM... 124 00:04:33,433 --> 00:04:35,067 EXCUSE ME. 125 00:04:37,133 --> 00:04:39,200 [SIGHS] 126 00:04:41,067 --> 00:04:43,633 I'M JUST GOING TO GO CHECK ON HER. 127 00:04:46,100 --> 00:04:47,067 [LAUGHTER] 128 00:04:56,867 --> 00:04:59,067 YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO BE HAPPY... 129 00:05:02,833 --> 00:05:04,967 AND SEXUALLY FULFILLED. 130 00:05:07,067 --> 00:05:08,567 I SHOULD-- 131 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,100 DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN BE SEXUALLY FULFILLED? 132 00:05:11,133 --> 00:05:12,400 I SHOULD GO. 133 00:05:12,433 --> 00:05:13,967 CHET'S EXPECTING ME. 134 00:05:14,067 --> 00:05:15,300 SO? 135 00:05:15,333 --> 00:05:16,167 I HAVE A THREE-YEAR-OLD. 136 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,067 HE SOMETIMES WAKES. 137 00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:21,600 NIGHT TERRORS. 138 00:05:21,633 --> 00:05:23,067 WELL, WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN 139 00:05:23,067 --> 00:05:25,467 IF YOU TURN UP A LITTLE LATE? 140 00:05:25,500 --> 00:05:27,300 HMM? 141 00:05:27,333 --> 00:05:29,533 IS THE WORLD GOING TO STOP TURNING? 142 00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:36,067 DOCK YOUR ALLOWANCE? 143 00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:39,933 WHAT DO I TELL HIM? 144 00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:46,233 TELL HIM THE GIRLS HAD A LOT TO TALK ABOUT TONIGHT. 145 00:05:46,267 --> 00:05:47,400 TELL HIM WE'RE CHANGING THE WORLD, 146 00:05:47,433 --> 00:05:50,733 AND IT'S GOING TO TAKE SOME TIME. 147 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:51,900 TELL HIM IT'S NO EASY TASK 148 00:05:51,933 --> 00:05:55,333 CREATING EQUALITY FOR WOMEN. 149 00:05:55,367 --> 00:05:58,633 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 150 00:05:59,767 --> 00:06:02,733 [***] 151 00:06:02,767 --> 00:06:09,400 * GIRLS IN TIGHT DRESSES WHO DRAG WITH MUSTACHES * 152 00:06:09,433 --> 00:06:16,167 * CHICKS DRIVING FAST INGENUES WITH LONG LASHES * 153 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:22,067 * WOMEN WHO LONG, LOVE, LUST WOMEN WHO GIVE * 154 00:06:22,067 --> 00:06:28,733 * THIS IS THE WAY IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE * 155 00:06:36,267 --> 00:06:37,767 * TALKING, LAUGHING LOVING, BREATHING * 156 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:39,500 * FIGHTING, FUCKING CRYING, DRINKING * 157 00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:40,867 * WRITING, WINNING LOSING, CHEATING * 158 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,567 * KISSING, THINKING, DREAMING 159 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:44,567 * THIS IS THE WAY... 160 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:47,400 * IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE * 161 00:06:47,433 --> 00:06:52,867 * IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE 162 00:06:52,900 --> 00:06:56,700 * AND LOVE * 163 00:07:00,867 --> 00:07:03,200 [***] 164 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:14,467 THAT WAS "SO JEALOUS" BY TEGAN AND SARA, 165 00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:16,267 AND I'M ALICE PIESZECKI, 166 00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:19,467 AND YOU'RE LISTENING TO THE CHART ON KCRW. 167 00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:20,600 WELCOME BACK. 168 00:07:20,633 --> 00:07:23,933 TONIGHT, WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE CONNECTION 169 00:07:23,967 --> 00:07:26,967 BETWEEN LOVE AND THE SENSES. 170 00:07:27,067 --> 00:07:30,233 YOUR LOVER KISSES YOU, 171 00:07:30,267 --> 00:07:34,400 AND YOU FEEL A TREMOR IN THE BACK OF YOUR KNEES. 172 00:07:34,433 --> 00:07:36,900 THE SYNAPSES FIRE, SENDING ORDERS-- 173 00:07:36,933 --> 00:07:39,600 "MOVE YOUR LEGS, MOVE YOUR ARMS. 174 00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:40,933 "SHE'S THE ONE FOR YOU. 175 00:07:40,967 --> 00:07:44,267 "SHE'S THE... GIRL OF YOUR DREAMS. 176 00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:48,567 SHE'S YOUR ONE AND ONLY... 177 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,300 AND YOU KNOW, 178 00:07:50,333 --> 00:07:56,433 BECAUSE THE SMELL OF HER MAKES YOUR HEAD SWIM, 179 00:07:56,467 --> 00:07:59,767 BECAUSE YOU GET A PHYSICAL JOLT EVERY TIME... 180 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:02,633 SHE SENDS A GLANCE YOUR WAY. 181 00:08:02,667 --> 00:08:04,067 I MEAN, SHE TOUCHES YOU HERE... 182 00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:08,700 AND YOU FEEL IT HERE. 183 00:08:08,733 --> 00:08:11,067 IT... 184 00:08:11,067 --> 00:08:13,567 YOU TOUCH HER ANYWHERE, 185 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:17,800 AND YOU FEEL IT EVERYWHERE, 186 00:08:17,833 --> 00:08:18,967 AND THEN... 187 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:22,067 BOOM! 188 00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:23,833 IT'S SIX MONTHS LATER, 189 00:08:23,867 --> 00:08:26,367 AND SHE'S...TOUCHING SOMEONE ELSE. 190 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:27,733 HI. 191 00:08:27,767 --> 00:08:28,967 HEY. 192 00:08:30,267 --> 00:08:31,300 AND YOU MIGHT SAY, 193 00:08:31,333 --> 00:08:34,067 "HEY, AL... 194 00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:36,600 "RELATIONSHIPS END, LOVERS LEAVE, 195 00:08:36,633 --> 00:08:41,433 LEAVING A LABYRINTH OF HEARTACHE AND BETRAYAL." 196 00:08:41,467 --> 00:08:45,167 FOR EXAMPLE, MY FIRST BOYFRIEND LEFT ME 197 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:49,233 FOR A VOLUPTUOUS FORMER LESBIAN NAMED APRIL, 198 00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:51,700 WHO I THEN WOUND UP HAVING A REBOUND AFFAIR WITH. 199 00:08:51,733 --> 00:08:55,867 BUT WE COULD ALSO TALK ABOUT GABBY, 200 00:08:55,900 --> 00:08:58,067 OTHERWISE KNOWN AS LESBIAN X, 201 00:08:58,067 --> 00:08:59,467 THE POINT OF ORIGIN 202 00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:03,067 FOR AN ENTIRE GEOGRAPHICAL SUBSTRATUM 203 00:09:03,067 --> 00:09:05,533 OF LESBIAN LINKAGES, 204 00:09:05,567 --> 00:09:07,067 INCLUDING LARA. 205 00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:09,400 WHAT ARE YOU MAKING? 206 00:09:09,433 --> 00:09:12,100 A SURPRISE. 207 00:09:12,133 --> 00:09:15,067 SIX EGG YOLKS, 3/4 CUP OF HEAVY CREAM. 208 00:09:15,100 --> 00:09:17,200 LARA, I CAN'T EAT THIS. I'M TRAINING. 209 00:09:17,233 --> 00:09:18,467 YES, YOU CAN, 210 00:09:18,500 --> 00:09:19,933 BECAUSE WITH YOUR METABOLISM, 211 00:09:19,967 --> 00:09:22,433 AND THE WORKOUT I'M ABOUT TO GIVE YOU, 212 00:09:22,467 --> 00:09:23,700 YOU CAN INDULGE 213 00:09:23,733 --> 00:09:25,467 IN MY LITTLE BREAKFAST SOUFFLE. 214 00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:26,567 CAN I? 215 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:27,567 YES. 216 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:28,600 OKAY. 217 00:09:31,733 --> 00:09:32,767 WORKOUT, HUH? 218 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,267 MM-HMM. 219 00:09:34,300 --> 00:09:37,167 [ALICE]: YES, THAT SAME LARA. 220 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:38,967 WE LOVE HER. 221 00:09:39,067 --> 00:09:40,900 LARA THE LARCENIST. 222 00:09:40,933 --> 00:09:42,700 LARA THE LIBERATOR. 223 00:09:42,733 --> 00:09:46,500 LARA THE NEW, UH, TRUE LOVE 224 00:09:46,533 --> 00:09:48,067 OF-- OF DANA. 225 00:09:48,067 --> 00:09:49,467 AND, UH... 226 00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:51,167 YEAH. 227 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,067 I MEAN, DANA, 228 00:09:53,067 --> 00:09:56,500 WHO TOLD ME SHE NEEDED CLOSURE, 229 00:09:56,533 --> 00:09:58,400 CLOSURE WITH LARA. 230 00:09:58,433 --> 00:10:03,233 WELL... 231 00:10:03,267 --> 00:10:04,633 IT'S SIX MONTHS LATER, 232 00:10:04,667 --> 00:10:06,267 AND I'M STILL WAITING FOR IT TO CLOSE. 233 00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:08,667 [***] 234 00:10:08,700 --> 00:10:11,467 * HELLO, EVERYBODY 235 00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:13,633 * SO GLAD TO SEE YOU 236 00:10:13,667 --> 00:10:17,333 * HELLO, TO LOLA 237 00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:19,667 * SO GLAD TO SEE YOU 238 00:10:19,700 --> 00:10:23,067 * HELLO, TO PIERCE 239 00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:25,533 * SO GLAD TO SEE YOU 240 00:10:25,567 --> 00:10:28,867 * HELLO, TO ANGELICA 241 00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:30,900 * SO GLAD TO SEE YOU 242 00:10:30,933 --> 00:10:34,733 * HELLO, EVERYBODY 243 00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:38,033 * SO GLAD TO SEE YOU 244 00:10:38,067 --> 00:10:40,167 YAY! 245 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,733 IT'S TIME FOR INSTRUMENTS. 246 00:10:45,767 --> 00:10:47,867 I'LL TRY AND GET HER THE TRIANGLE TODAY. 247 00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:48,900 OKAY. 248 00:10:49,933 --> 00:10:52,567 [INSTRUMENTS RATTLING] 249 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:54,500 OH, I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR THAT. 250 00:10:54,533 --> 00:10:56,033 I'M SURE THERE'S MORE. 251 00:10:56,067 --> 00:10:57,733 NO, THERE AREN'T. THAT'S THE LAST ONE. 252 00:10:57,767 --> 00:10:58,733 SORRY. 253 00:10:58,767 --> 00:10:59,867 ASSHOLE. 254 00:11:04,633 --> 00:11:07,300 OKAY, DOES EVERYONE HAVE AN INSTRUMENT? 255 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,600 IT'S TIME TO GET UP 256 00:11:08,633 --> 00:11:10,800 FOR "DANCE IN A CIRCLE" TIME. 257 00:11:12,667 --> 00:11:13,900 [INSTRUCTOR CHUCKLING] 258 00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:24,933 SORRY ABOUT THAT. 259 00:11:24,967 --> 00:11:26,667 AH, IT HAPPENS, 260 00:11:26,700 --> 00:11:29,267 ESPECIALLY WITH SOME OF THESE MOMS. 261 00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:32,800 WHICH ONE OF YOU IS THE MOM? 262 00:11:32,833 --> 00:11:34,667 I GAVE BIRTH, ACTUALLY. 263 00:11:34,700 --> 00:11:37,067 OH, WOW, I WOULD HAVE FIGURED IT WAS HER. 264 00:11:37,067 --> 00:11:38,967 YOU DAUGHTER LOOKS A LOT LIKE HER. 265 00:11:39,067 --> 00:11:40,500 SHE'S NOT YOUR SISTER, IS SHE? 266 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,633 SHE'S MY PARTNER. 267 00:11:42,667 --> 00:11:43,733 OH... 268 00:11:43,767 --> 00:11:45,067 [TINA LAUGHS POLITELY] 269 00:11:45,067 --> 00:11:46,133 AND, UM... 270 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:52,167 SHE'S A LITTLE STRESSED OUT TODAY. 271 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:53,633 WE'RE ABOUT TO HAVE A HOME VISIT 272 00:11:53,667 --> 00:11:56,167 FROM THE ADOPTION SOCIAL WORKER. 273 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:57,600 BUT SHE'S YOUR BABY. 274 00:11:57,633 --> 00:11:59,067 YEAH. 275 00:11:59,067 --> 00:12:02,400 I MEAN, BUT NOT BETTE'S, 276 00:12:02,433 --> 00:12:03,700 AT LEAST, NOT ACCORDING TO THE LAW. 277 00:12:03,733 --> 00:12:05,400 SHE HAS TO DO THIS THING 278 00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,333 THAT'S CALLED A SECOND PARENT ADOPTION, 279 00:12:07,367 --> 00:12:10,467 SO SHE CAN LEGALLY BECOME ANGELICA'S OTHER PARENT. 280 00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:11,633 HMM. 281 00:12:11,667 --> 00:12:13,400 COMPLICATED. 282 00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:17,067 THIS IS SO WEIRD. 283 00:12:17,067 --> 00:12:20,067 I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WOULD BE SO AWKWARD. 284 00:12:20,067 --> 00:12:22,867 IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE AWKWARD, MOM. 285 00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:24,467 JUST TELL ME WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON, 286 00:12:24,500 --> 00:12:26,833 AND I'LL DO MY BEST TO HELP YOU OUT. 287 00:12:26,867 --> 00:12:32,100 I-- I THINK IT STARTED AROUND THE TIME DADDY GOT SICK, 288 00:12:32,133 --> 00:12:34,200 AND I JUST-- I DIDN'T DEAL. 289 00:12:34,233 --> 00:12:36,067 I JUST DIDN'T DEAL. 290 00:12:36,067 --> 00:12:38,067 I KNOW IT'S MY FAULT, 291 00:12:38,067 --> 00:12:42,300 FOR LETTING IT, YOU KNOW, GO THIS LONG, BUT HE... 292 00:12:42,333 --> 00:12:45,233 HE WAS SO SICK, AND HE NEEDED ALL MY ATTENTION, 293 00:12:45,267 --> 00:12:46,367 AND, YOU KNOW, 294 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:47,800 IF I HAD TAKEN CARE OF MYSELF, 295 00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:49,400 WE WOULD HAVE CAUGHT IT BEFORE IT GOT THIS BAD-- 296 00:12:49,433 --> 00:12:52,367 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, MOM. 297 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:53,633 LET'S NOT PLAN YOUR FUNERAL YET. 298 00:12:53,667 --> 00:12:54,867 NOW, WHAT ARE YOUR SYMPTOMS? 299 00:12:57,833 --> 00:13:00,400 WELL, BREATHING. 300 00:13:00,433 --> 00:13:02,200 I HAVE A HARD TIME BREATHING, 301 00:13:02,233 --> 00:13:04,433 AND HEART PALPITATIONS, 302 00:13:04,467 --> 00:13:05,600 AND SOMETIMES, 303 00:13:05,633 --> 00:13:09,233 I HAVE TO SIT DOWN TO CATCH MY BREATH, 304 00:13:09,267 --> 00:13:12,633 AND I, UH... 305 00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:14,433 I'M HAVING THESE HEADACHES EVERY DAY, 306 00:13:14,467 --> 00:13:16,300 AND I KNOW THEY'RE CONNECTED TO SOMETHING 307 00:13:16,333 --> 00:13:20,600 THAT'S BAD GOING ON SOMEWHERE ELSE 308 00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:23,233 AND I-- I'M HAVING A HARD TIME 309 00:13:23,267 --> 00:13:25,300 JUST CONCENTRATING ON ANY ONE THING. 310 00:13:25,333 --> 00:13:28,700 WELL, YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE'S A LITTLE HIGH, 311 00:13:28,733 --> 00:13:30,267 BUT IT'S NOT OFF THE CHART. 312 00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:33,067 DON'T ASSUME THE WORST, OKAY? 313 00:13:33,067 --> 00:13:34,967 HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO. 314 00:13:35,067 --> 00:13:36,200 I'M GOING TO SEND YOU FOR SOME BLOODWORK. 315 00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:38,500 WE'RE GOING TO CHECK YOUR LEVELS. 316 00:13:38,533 --> 00:13:40,400 WE'RE GOING TO RUN A FEW TESTS. 317 00:13:40,433 --> 00:13:42,400 NOW, I'M ACTUALLY BETTING THAT THIS IS PSYCHOLOGICAL. 318 00:13:45,633 --> 00:13:47,167 YOU'RE UNDER A LOT OF STRESS, 319 00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:49,067 RUNNING THAT BUSINESS ALL BY YOURSELF, 320 00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:50,967 NOT TO MENTION ALL THE TIME HELPING WITH TINA'S BABY. 321 00:13:51,067 --> 00:13:54,467 YEAH, WELL, IT'S BETTE'S BABY, TOO, YOU KNOW, NOT JUST TINA'S. 322 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,767 JUST CALL TODAY. 323 00:14:01,167 --> 00:14:05,200 YEAH, IT'S, UM, 2:00 TO 6:00 ON SATURDAY. 324 00:14:05,233 --> 00:14:06,800 IT'S HER SIX-MONTH. 325 00:14:06,833 --> 00:14:09,067 IT'S REALLY JUST AN EXCUSE TO HAVE A PARTY. 326 00:14:09,067 --> 00:14:10,167 THANKS. I'LL TRY AND MAKE IT. 327 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:11,200 OKAY. TAKE CARE. 328 00:14:11,233 --> 00:14:13,400 SEE YOU. 329 00:14:13,433 --> 00:14:15,067 WHY DID YOU INVITE HIM? 330 00:14:15,067 --> 00:14:16,867 HE'S SWEET. I LIKE HIM. 331 00:14:16,900 --> 00:14:19,200 HE'S SO...STRAIGHT. 332 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:20,767 SINCE WHEN DID YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH STRAIGHT PEOPLE? 333 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:22,267 I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH STRAIGHT PEOPLE. 334 00:14:22,300 --> 00:14:23,533 IT'S JUST-- HE'S SO... 335 00:14:23,567 --> 00:14:24,467 YOU KNOW, SUBURBAN. 336 00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:25,667 I GREW UP IN THE SUBURBS. 337 00:14:25,700 --> 00:14:28,567 THE SUBURBS AREN'T THAT TERRIBLE. 338 00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:30,067 WHY DOES EVERYBODY HAVE TO BE A HIPSTER? 339 00:14:31,967 --> 00:14:33,833 ANGUS... 340 00:14:33,867 --> 00:14:35,300 I HAVE A PROPOSITION FOR YOU. 341 00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:36,967 HMM? 342 00:14:37,067 --> 00:14:39,233 WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN PLAYING FOR THE KIDS 343 00:14:39,267 --> 00:14:40,400 AT ANGELICA'S SIX-MONTH CELEBRATION? 344 00:14:40,433 --> 00:14:41,500 WOW. YEAH. 345 00:14:41,533 --> 00:14:43,067 I'LL PLAY ALMOST ANYWHERE I'M INVITED 346 00:14:43,067 --> 00:14:45,267 AS LONG AS THERE'S A PAYCHECK INVOLVED. 347 00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:48,067 MY BAND'S TRYING TO PUT OUT OUR CD. 348 00:14:48,067 --> 00:14:50,400 WHAT DO YOU THINK, ANGELICA? 349 00:14:50,433 --> 00:14:53,467 WANT ME TO ROCK YOUR HALF-BIRTHDAY PARTY? 350 00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:54,500 MAYBE SOME OZZY? 351 00:14:54,533 --> 00:14:55,700 BLACK SABBATH? 352 00:14:55,733 --> 00:14:56,833 I WAS ACTUALLY THINKING 353 00:14:56,867 --> 00:14:58,367 MORE OF COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO. 354 00:14:58,400 --> 00:14:59,733 NO, THAT'S WHAT YOU'LL GET. 355 00:14:59,767 --> 00:15:01,700 THANKS, I COULD REALLY USE THE CASH. 356 00:15:01,733 --> 00:15:02,900 GREAT. 357 00:15:02,933 --> 00:15:04,400 OOH, COME HERE. 358 00:15:04,433 --> 00:15:06,067 I AM POWER AND BEAUTY, 359 00:15:06,067 --> 00:15:07,600 EMANATING THE WARMTH OF THE SUN, 360 00:15:07,633 --> 00:15:10,333 THROUGH A HEART AS DEEP AS THE OCEAN. 361 00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:13,500 ARE YOU SURE IT'S NOT "POCKETS AS DEEP AS THE OCEAN"? 362 00:15:13,533 --> 00:15:14,300 IT COULD BE. 363 00:15:14,333 --> 00:15:17,833 YEAH, POCKETS. 364 00:15:17,867 --> 00:15:19,633 UH, YOU JUST BOUGHT SOMETHING, 365 00:15:19,667 --> 00:15:21,433 SOMETHING THAT MOST PEOPLE CONSIDER RECKLESS AND FOOLISH. 366 00:15:21,467 --> 00:15:23,400 WE ARE ABOUT TO CLOSE ON A DEAL, 367 00:15:23,433 --> 00:15:25,500 BUT I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT IT IS. 368 00:15:25,533 --> 00:15:27,400 YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY. 369 00:15:29,467 --> 00:15:31,233 YOU BOUGHT A MOVIE STUDIO. 370 00:15:31,267 --> 00:15:34,733 MY GOD, HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT? 371 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:38,600 BECAUSE THE CARDS KNOW EVERYTHING. 372 00:15:38,633 --> 00:15:39,733 OH... 373 00:15:39,767 --> 00:15:43,633 AND THERE'S A ROMANCE IN YOUR FUTURE. 374 00:15:43,667 --> 00:15:44,900 SEE? 375 00:15:44,933 --> 00:15:46,700 THIS IS YOU, THE EMPRESS. 376 00:15:46,733 --> 00:15:48,133 SHE KNOWS HOW TO PAMPER HERSELF, 377 00:15:48,167 --> 00:15:49,200 BUT SHE REALLY KNOWS 378 00:15:49,233 --> 00:15:51,067 HOW TO TAKE CARE OF HER LOVERS, 379 00:15:51,067 --> 00:15:54,600 AND THIS, THE KNIGHT OF WANDS, THAT'S THE LOVE INTEREST. 380 00:15:54,633 --> 00:15:56,900 IT'S A CREATIVE PERSON, AN ARTIST OF SOME KIND, 381 00:15:56,933 --> 00:16:00,233 VOLATILE AND CHANGEABLE, ESPECIALLY SEXUALLY. 382 00:16:00,267 --> 00:16:01,500 SEXUALLY CHANGEABLE? 383 00:16:01,533 --> 00:16:03,067 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, BISEXUAL OR SOMETHING? 384 00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:04,300 SHUFFLE AND TAKE THREE MORE CARDS. 385 00:16:21,167 --> 00:16:22,300 BISEXUAL, YEAH. 386 00:16:22,333 --> 00:16:24,967 THIS PERSON IS BISEXUAL. 387 00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,767 HE OR SHE, UH-- 388 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:29,967 SHE, I THINK-- 389 00:16:30,067 --> 00:16:31,400 IS GOING TO STAND BACK TO BACK WITH YOU, 390 00:16:31,433 --> 00:16:32,633 AND THEN FACE TO FACE. 391 00:16:33,633 --> 00:16:34,633 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 392 00:16:40,067 --> 00:16:41,500 I'M SORRY. 393 00:16:41,533 --> 00:16:45,433 I CAN'T TELL YOU ANY MORE RIGHT NOW. 394 00:16:45,467 --> 00:16:48,367 EXCEPT THAT SHE DRIVES A BLUE CAR, 395 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:49,667 AND SHE'S A BRUNETTE. 396 00:16:52,100 --> 00:16:53,500 ALL RIGHT, NOW, 397 00:16:53,533 --> 00:16:55,067 ONE OF YOU LIE DOWN ON THIS FLUFFY COUCH, 398 00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:57,267 AND THE OTHER ONE, COME AND PICK SOME MATERIAL. 399 00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:58,800 MAMA T, WHY DON'T YOU BE THE "LIER-DOWNER," 400 00:16:58,833 --> 00:17:00,633 AND I'LL GO CHOOSE SOME MATERIALS FOR US. 401 00:17:00,667 --> 00:17:02,233 NO... PLEASE. 402 00:17:02,267 --> 00:17:03,733 WHAT? 403 00:17:03,767 --> 00:17:05,667 DO YOU ALSO CALL HER MAMA B? 404 00:17:05,700 --> 00:17:08,133 UH, YEAH, SOMETIMES I DO CALL HER MAMA B. 405 00:17:08,167 --> 00:17:09,167 OKAY, GET UP. 406 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:10,133 YOU GO SIT DOWN. 407 00:17:10,167 --> 00:17:11,233 SIT DOWN. 408 00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:17,700 ALL RIGHT, LISTEN, THE GUIDING PRINCIPLE HERE 409 00:17:17,733 --> 00:17:18,933 IS THAT WE ARE TRYING TO REKINDLE 410 00:17:18,967 --> 00:17:19,933 THE SEXUAL SPARK 411 00:17:19,967 --> 00:17:21,367 IN THIS LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP, 412 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:24,233 AND "MAMA T" AND "MAMA B" 413 00:17:24,267 --> 00:17:27,567 DO NOT MAKE MAD PASSIONATE LOVE TO ONE ANOTHER. 414 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:28,700 THEY MAKE COOKIES. 415 00:17:28,733 --> 00:17:30,200 OKAY. 416 00:17:30,233 --> 00:17:33,633 NOW, WHEN YOU DO THESE SENSATE FOCUS EXERCISES 417 00:17:33,667 --> 00:17:34,767 AT HOME, 418 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:36,067 TINA, SHE'LL BE NAKED, 419 00:17:36,067 --> 00:17:37,100 WEARING A BLINDFOLD. 420 00:17:37,133 --> 00:17:38,133 OH-HO, NO WAY. 421 00:17:38,167 --> 00:17:39,733 WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT? 422 00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:41,067 I'LL FEEL RIDICULOUS. 423 00:17:41,067 --> 00:17:42,467 I DON'T WANT ANYBODY 424 00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:44,067 STARING DOWN AT MY NAKED BODY, 425 00:17:44,067 --> 00:17:46,833 TICKLING ME WITH STRIPS OF RUBBER AND SUEDE. 426 00:17:46,867 --> 00:17:48,933 WELL, FIRST OF ALL, I'M NOT JUST ANYBODY, 427 00:17:48,967 --> 00:17:51,667 I'M YOUR LIFE PARTNER AND WOULD-BE LOVER, 428 00:17:51,700 --> 00:17:54,333 AND SECONDLY, I FIND YOU BEAUTIFUL. 429 00:17:54,367 --> 00:17:56,367 YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY FIND THIS BIG UGLY SCAR 430 00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:58,133 AND MY SAGGING STOMACH 431 00:17:58,167 --> 00:17:59,133 AND MY LEAKY NIPPLES 432 00:17:59,167 --> 00:18:00,200 BEAUTIFUL. 433 00:18:00,233 --> 00:18:01,300 YOU CANNOT TELL ME 434 00:18:01,333 --> 00:18:02,933 WHAT I CAN AND CAN'T FIND BEAUTIFUL. 435 00:18:02,967 --> 00:18:04,200 I MEAN, I DON'T THINK THIS IS ALL ABOUT 436 00:18:04,233 --> 00:18:06,500 YOU FEELING UNATTRACTIVE OR TIRED. 437 00:18:06,533 --> 00:18:08,800 I HATE TO SAY THIS, BUT, DR. FARBER, 438 00:18:08,833 --> 00:18:10,400 I THINK SHE'S STILL PUNISHING ME FOR-- 439 00:18:10,433 --> 00:18:11,567 I AM NOT PUNISHING YOU. 440 00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:12,533 OH NO? 441 00:18:12,567 --> 00:18:14,267 I'M EXHAUSTED. 442 00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:15,633 I AM UP HALF THE NIGHT WITH ANGELICA-- 443 00:18:15,667 --> 00:18:17,667 LET'S TRY SOMETHING ELSE, ALL RIGHT? 444 00:18:17,700 --> 00:18:19,433 UH... 445 00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:23,200 WE COULD TRY THE... 446 00:18:23,233 --> 00:18:25,867 THE LOVERS' PAINTBOX. 447 00:18:25,900 --> 00:18:26,900 BEAUTIFUL. 448 00:18:26,933 --> 00:18:28,100 VERY HIGH QUALITY CHOCOLATE. 449 00:18:28,133 --> 00:18:30,867 $33.95. 450 00:18:30,900 --> 00:18:32,433 [WHISPERING]: IT'S TOO EXPENSIVE. 451 00:18:32,467 --> 00:18:34,767 AND THIS IS... 452 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:38,200 THE HOT SEX ICE CUBE KIT. 453 00:18:38,233 --> 00:18:40,267 $19.95, NOT AS EXPENSIVE. 454 00:18:40,300 --> 00:18:42,933 WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THE ICE CUBE KIT? 455 00:18:42,967 --> 00:18:44,300 WELL, YOU TAKE A CUBE, 456 00:18:44,333 --> 00:18:45,300 AND IT COULD BE BREAST-SHAPED, 457 00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:46,100 PENIS-SHAPED, WHATEVER. 458 00:18:46,133 --> 00:18:47,533 PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH, 459 00:18:47,567 --> 00:18:50,167 LET A LITTLE WATER DRIP ON HER CLIT, 460 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,400 ON HER NIPPLES... 461 00:18:52,433 --> 00:18:54,067 AND BECAUSE, REALLY, 462 00:18:54,067 --> 00:18:56,667 ONE OF THE BIG PROBLEMS OF LESBIAN SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION 463 00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:58,433 IS AVERSION TO ORAL STIMULATION. 464 00:18:58,467 --> 00:19:01,800 AND THOSE, IF YOU PARDON THE PUN, 465 00:19:01,833 --> 00:19:04,900 ARE A MAJOR ICEBREAKER. 466 00:19:04,933 --> 00:19:07,967 OR IF ALL ELSE FAILS, 467 00:19:08,067 --> 00:19:11,633 TRY A LITTLE HUMOR. 468 00:19:11,667 --> 00:19:13,100 COME ON, A LITTLE LEVITY 469 00:19:13,133 --> 00:19:14,833 NEVER HURT ANYBODY'S SEX LIFE. 470 00:19:14,867 --> 00:19:18,167 OKAY, SO, WHAT TIME DO YOU PUT ANGELICA DOWN TO SLEEP? 471 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,167 OH, WELL, IT DIFFERS EVERY NIGHT. 472 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:22,767 WE DON'T REALLY HAVE HER ON A SCHEDULE. 473 00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:24,467 YEAH. 474 00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:25,967 TONIGHT, GET HER TO SLEEP, PUT HER IN THE CRIB-- 475 00:19:26,067 --> 00:19:27,833 NOW, WE DON'T PUT HER DOWN. 476 00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:30,067 WE'RE PRACTICING ATTACHMENT PARENTING. 477 00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:31,300 WE TRY TO KEEP HER IN CONTACT 478 00:19:31,333 --> 00:19:32,533 WITH ANOTHER HUMAN BODY 479 00:19:32,567 --> 00:19:34,400 AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. 480 00:19:34,433 --> 00:19:35,867 WHERE IS SHE RIGHT NOW? 481 00:19:37,833 --> 00:19:38,967 MY TURN. 482 00:19:39,067 --> 00:19:40,933 OOH, YEAH. 483 00:19:40,967 --> 00:19:42,133 YEAH, SHE'S A BIG GIRL. 484 00:19:42,167 --> 00:19:45,067 WHOO-HOO! 485 00:19:45,067 --> 00:19:46,233 I WOULDN'T SAY 486 00:19:46,267 --> 00:19:48,167 MY PARENTS ARE HAPPY ABOUT IT, NECESSARILY. 487 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:51,300 I WOULD JUST SAY THAT THEY'VE ACCEPTED IT, 488 00:19:51,333 --> 00:19:52,967 SORT OF, IN THEIR OWN WAY. 489 00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:54,300 YEAH, THEY DON'T TRY 490 00:19:54,333 --> 00:19:55,067 AND FIX YOU UP WITH GUYS ANYMORE, 491 00:19:55,100 --> 00:19:55,967 SO THAT'S GOOD. 492 00:19:56,067 --> 00:19:56,467 THAT'S GOOD. 493 00:19:56,500 --> 00:19:57,967 YEAH. 494 00:19:58,067 --> 00:19:59,200 THE WHOLE "COMING OUT TO YOUR PARENTS" 495 00:19:59,233 --> 00:20:01,767 IN A MEXICAN FAMILY, THAT STUFF? 496 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:03,167 MM, THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT IT. 497 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:04,633 IT DOESN'T REALLY PLAY. 498 00:20:04,667 --> 00:20:06,500 NO, SO YOU JUST STAY IN THE CLOSET. 499 00:20:06,533 --> 00:20:07,767 NO, SWEETHEART. YES. 500 00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:09,600 YOU DON'T JUST STAY IN THE CLOSET. 501 00:20:09,633 --> 00:20:10,800 THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS THAT ARE UNDERSTOOD, 502 00:20:10,833 --> 00:20:12,400 AND IT IS UNDERSTOOD 503 00:20:12,433 --> 00:20:13,967 THAT WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT THOSE THINGS. 504 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,467 LIKE, I HAVE THIS UNCLE POPPY, 505 00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:17,333 AND HE BORROWED HIS SISTER'S PROM DRESS ONE YEAR, 506 00:20:17,367 --> 00:20:20,167 AND WHAT HE DID WITH THAT PROM DRESS, WE DON'T KNOW, 507 00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,867 AND, GUESS WHAT, WE DON'T ASK. 508 00:20:22,900 --> 00:20:24,467 I FOUND IT DISCONCERTING, THAT'S ALL. 509 00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:25,500 WHY? 510 00:20:25,533 --> 00:20:26,700 WHAT'S WRONG WITH "CLIT"? 511 00:20:26,733 --> 00:20:28,100 IT'S A LITTLE GRAPHIC. 512 00:20:28,133 --> 00:20:29,233 I PREFER THAT OUR THERAPIST 513 00:20:29,267 --> 00:20:30,600 USE A MORE NEUTRAL LANGUAGE. 514 00:20:30,633 --> 00:20:33,100 SO "CLIT" MADE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE? A LITTLE, YEAH. 515 00:20:33,133 --> 00:20:34,700 WHAT ABOUT "CUNT"? DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH "CUNT"? 516 00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:35,700 IT'S NOT MY FAVORITE. HEY, BOO-BOO! 517 00:20:35,733 --> 00:20:37,367 LOOK WHO IT IS. 518 00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:39,533 HEY... 519 00:20:39,567 --> 00:20:40,600 HI. 520 00:20:40,633 --> 00:20:42,800 ACTUALLY, I LIKE "PUSSY." 521 00:20:42,833 --> 00:20:44,300 OH, HEAR! HEAR! I LOVE "PUSSY." 522 00:20:44,333 --> 00:20:45,333 EXCUSE ME. 523 00:20:45,367 --> 00:20:47,500 WELL, SHANE, IT'S NOT LIKE 524 00:20:47,533 --> 00:20:49,000 SHE CAN REALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT-- 525 00:20:49,033 --> 00:20:50,100 YOU DON'T KNOW THAT. 526 00:20:50,133 --> 00:20:52,267 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 527 00:20:52,300 --> 00:20:53,833 WELL, TINA HAS A PROBLEM WITH THE WORD "CLIT," 528 00:20:53,867 --> 00:20:56,200 WHICH I FIND SOMEWHAT TROUBLING, 529 00:20:56,233 --> 00:20:58,167 AND SHE'S ALSO NOT TOO FOND OF "CUNT." 530 00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:00,433 OH, MY GOD, I LOVE THE WORD "CUNT." 531 00:21:00,467 --> 00:21:01,833 I FIND IT TOTALLY HOT. 532 00:21:01,867 --> 00:21:03,100 NO-- YOU DO? 533 00:21:03,133 --> 00:21:05,400 YEAH, DON'T YOU? 534 00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:08,567 I... 535 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,233 WELL, WHAT WORDS DO YOU USE? 536 00:21:13,533 --> 00:21:15,167 "PUSSY" WORKS FOR ME. 537 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:16,633 MM-HMM. "BEAVER" IS ALSO FUN SOMETIMES, 538 00:21:16,667 --> 00:21:17,400 AND I LIKE "TWAT." 539 00:21:17,433 --> 00:21:20,267 [GIGGLING] 540 00:21:20,300 --> 00:21:21,567 I ACTUALLY REALLY LIKE TWAT. 541 00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:22,633 YOU KNOW THAT. 542 00:21:22,667 --> 00:21:23,633 I KNOW. 543 00:21:23,667 --> 00:21:24,767 AW, BABE. 544 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:27,200 I KNOW. 545 00:21:27,233 --> 00:21:28,900 SEE, I GREW UP IN A WORLD OF EUPHEMISMS. 546 00:21:28,933 --> 00:21:30,400 LIKE, "DOWN THERE," 547 00:21:30,433 --> 00:21:32,233 "NETHER REGIONS," "PRIVATE PARTS," 548 00:21:32,267 --> 00:21:33,600 "NAUGHTY BITS." 549 00:21:33,633 --> 00:21:35,767 "UH-OH, DON'T TOUCH YOUR NO-NO." 550 00:21:37,433 --> 00:21:38,433 I WAS THE SAME WAY. 551 00:21:38,467 --> 00:21:40,200 PRIVATE PARTS, LADY PARTS, 552 00:21:40,233 --> 00:21:42,067 LADY PARTS, "IT." 553 00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:43,900 "IT," THAT'S MY PERSONAL FAVORITE-- 554 00:21:43,933 --> 00:21:46,400 THEN WHO CAME UP WITH "PEEPER"? 555 00:21:46,433 --> 00:21:48,067 PEEPER. PEEPER, PEEPER, PEEPER... 556 00:21:48,067 --> 00:21:50,367 MAMA T, WHY DON'T YOU FEED HER FOR A WHILE. 557 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:51,667 I THINK SHE'S HUNGRY. 558 00:21:51,700 --> 00:21:53,167 SHE'S FINE. 559 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:54,200 PEEPER, PEEPER, PEEPER. 560 00:21:54,233 --> 00:21:55,267 ALICE, SERIOUSLY-- 561 00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:56,867 "TOUCH MY PEEPER, AL. 562 00:21:56,900 --> 00:21:59,900 NOBODY TOUCHES MY PEEPER LIKE YOU DO." 563 00:22:00,067 --> 00:22:01,167 OH, LOOK WHAT HAPPENS TO MY PEEPER 564 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:02,967 WHEN IT TOUCHES YOUR PEEPER. 565 00:22:03,067 --> 00:22:04,467 IT'S A WET PEEPER. OKAY. 566 00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:05,733 ALICE... 567 00:22:05,767 --> 00:22:06,833 WE'RE GOING TO GO. 568 00:22:06,867 --> 00:22:08,467 IT'S A WET, WET PEEPER. 569 00:22:08,500 --> 00:22:11,400 ALL RIGHT, YOU WIN, AL. 570 00:22:12,900 --> 00:22:14,300 PEEPER. 571 00:22:20,067 --> 00:22:21,433 OH, BABY, SAY HELLO TO AUNTIE ALICE. 572 00:22:21,467 --> 00:22:22,467 MAMA T, PLEASE-- 573 00:22:22,500 --> 00:22:24,233 SAY HELLO. SAY HELLO. 574 00:22:28,300 --> 00:22:29,767 SO, WHAT ARE YOU ON NOW? 575 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:31,100 I'M ON METHYLPHENIDATE. 576 00:22:31,133 --> 00:22:32,933 POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS 577 00:22:32,967 --> 00:22:36,133 INCLUDE, UM, TOURETTE'S. 578 00:22:36,167 --> 00:22:37,100 [SIGHS] 579 00:22:37,133 --> 00:22:38,300 IT'S OKAY. 580 00:22:38,333 --> 00:22:40,067 WE'RE ALL A LITTLE STRESSED OUT RIGHT NOW. 581 00:22:40,067 --> 00:22:41,500 IT'LL BE OKAY. YEAH. 582 00:22:41,533 --> 00:22:42,367 TOTALLY. 583 00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:43,733 YEAH, TINA AND I, 584 00:22:43,767 --> 00:22:45,100 WE HAVE OUR FIRST HOME VISIT 585 00:22:45,133 --> 00:22:47,067 WITH THE ADOPTION SOCIAL WORKER TODAY. 586 00:22:47,100 --> 00:22:48,633 AH... 587 00:22:48,667 --> 00:22:49,800 I'M GOING TO MEET 588 00:22:49,833 --> 00:22:51,667 CARMEN'S MOTHER 589 00:22:51,700 --> 00:22:53,867 AND HAVE DINNER WITH HER ENTIRE FAMILY. 590 00:22:53,900 --> 00:22:54,867 AND? 591 00:22:54,900 --> 00:22:55,867 I'M GOING TO ACT STRAIGHT. 592 00:22:55,900 --> 00:22:57,533 [ALL LAUGHING] 593 00:22:57,567 --> 00:22:58,567 WHO WINS? 594 00:22:58,600 --> 00:22:59,333 YOU WIN. 595 00:22:59,367 --> 00:23:00,800 YEAH, YOU WIN. 596 00:23:00,833 --> 00:23:04,500 INHALE, TAKE THE GAZE UP PART WAY. 597 00:23:04,533 --> 00:23:06,267 EXHALE, STEPPING BACK. 598 00:23:06,300 --> 00:23:09,400 TO DANDASANA, LOWERING DOWN. 599 00:23:09,433 --> 00:23:12,167 INHALE, COMING INTO UP-DOG. 600 00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:14,667 OPENING UP THE CHEST THROUGH THE ARMS. 601 00:23:14,700 --> 00:23:19,800 EXHALING BACK INTO DOWNWARD-FACING DOG. 602 00:23:19,833 --> 00:23:21,900 NOW, LET'S STEP FROM DOWN-DOG, 603 00:23:21,933 --> 00:23:25,100 THE RIGHT FOOT UP BESIDE THE RIGHT HAND. 604 00:23:25,133 --> 00:23:26,700 WE'RE GOING INTO WARRIOR ONE, PEOPLE. 605 00:23:26,733 --> 00:23:28,700 VIRABHADRASANA. 606 00:23:28,733 --> 00:23:31,367 [STUDENTS GRUNTING WITH EFFORT] 607 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,833 [SOBBING] 608 00:23:33,867 --> 00:23:35,833 OH, I KNOW. 609 00:23:35,867 --> 00:23:37,733 THIS ONE'S REALLY HARD. 610 00:23:37,767 --> 00:23:39,600 IT KILLS ME. 611 00:23:39,633 --> 00:23:42,367 [SOBBING] 612 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:44,667 OH, SWEETHEART, I'M SORRY. 613 00:23:44,700 --> 00:23:47,600 I THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE GOOD FOR YOU. 614 00:23:47,633 --> 00:23:49,067 IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO? 615 00:23:49,067 --> 00:23:50,667 OH, NO, YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND. 616 00:23:50,700 --> 00:23:51,800 YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND. 617 00:23:51,833 --> 00:23:54,333 NOW PIVOT ON THE BALL OF THE LEFT FOOT, 618 00:23:54,367 --> 00:23:56,333 DROP THAT HEEL TO THE GROUND, 619 00:23:56,367 --> 00:23:58,367 TURN THE TOES OUT 45 DEGREES. 620 00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:03,100 IS EVERYONE COOL WITH THAT? 621 00:24:03,133 --> 00:24:05,433 OH, YOU POOR THING. 622 00:24:05,467 --> 00:24:07,067 IS IT DANA? 623 00:24:07,067 --> 00:24:08,733 I DON'T KNOW. 624 00:24:08,767 --> 00:24:12,767 IT COULD BE THESE NEW DRUGS I'M ON. 625 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:13,833 OKAY, 626 00:24:13,867 --> 00:24:15,100 AND DROP YOUR SHOULDER BLADES 627 00:24:15,133 --> 00:24:19,067 DOWN YOUR BACK. 628 00:24:19,100 --> 00:24:20,900 [SOBBING] 629 00:24:20,933 --> 00:24:24,300 I JUST-- I FEEL A LITTLE UNPREDICTABLE, 630 00:24:24,333 --> 00:24:26,633 BUT I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE... 631 00:24:26,667 --> 00:24:28,200 MAYBE IT'S JUST MAKING ME SPONTANEOUS, YOU KNOW? 632 00:24:28,233 --> 00:24:29,233 LIKE I'M READY-- 633 00:24:29,267 --> 00:24:30,267 SHH... 634 00:24:30,300 --> 00:24:32,667 NO TALKING. 635 00:24:32,700 --> 00:24:35,633 OKAY, NOW, LET'S ALL PARTNER UP WITH THE PERSON 636 00:24:35,667 --> 00:24:37,767 ON THE MAT NEXT TO US. 637 00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:41,200 I WANT YOU TO TURN BACK TO BACK... 638 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:45,067 AND LINK ARMS. 639 00:24:45,067 --> 00:24:48,533 NOW, THE PERSON FACING THE FRONT OF THE ROOM, 640 00:24:48,567 --> 00:24:51,700 I WANT YOU TO BEND FORWARD 641 00:24:51,733 --> 00:24:55,100 AND GENTLY STRETCH YOUR PARTNER'S BACK. 642 00:24:55,133 --> 00:24:57,233 GENTLY BOUNCE AND STRETCH. 643 00:24:57,267 --> 00:24:58,300 BOUNCE AND STRETCH. 644 00:24:58,333 --> 00:24:59,300 [SOBBING] 645 00:24:59,333 --> 00:25:01,167 ALICE! 646 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:02,633 GOOD, NOW SWITCH. 647 00:25:02,667 --> 00:25:03,833 [GRUNTS] 648 00:25:03,867 --> 00:25:05,933 WAIT, WAIT. 649 00:25:05,967 --> 00:25:07,067 WE'RE NOT QUITE BACK TO BACK. 650 00:25:07,100 --> 00:25:08,133 OKAY. 651 00:25:09,733 --> 00:25:12,333 OH, GOD. 652 00:25:12,367 --> 00:25:14,167 [SOBBING] 653 00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:16,867 OKAY, ONCE YOU'VE BOTH DONE THE STRETCH, 654 00:25:16,900 --> 00:25:19,133 I WANT YOU TO STAND 655 00:25:19,167 --> 00:25:20,533 AND TURN TO FACE YOUR PARTNERS, 656 00:25:20,567 --> 00:25:22,933 AND GRIP ONE ANOTHER'S SHOULDERS, 657 00:25:22,967 --> 00:25:24,067 LIKE THIS... 658 00:25:26,367 --> 00:25:28,633 AND BEND YOUR KNEES. 659 00:25:28,667 --> 00:25:29,700 OH, GOD... 660 00:25:29,733 --> 00:25:30,233 HOLY SHIT. 661 00:25:30,267 --> 00:25:31,700 WHAT? 662 00:25:31,733 --> 00:25:34,167 WE WERE BACK TO BACK, AND NOW WE'RE FACE TO FACE. 663 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:35,300 YEAH, I KNOW. THAT'S WHAT HE SAID TO DO. 664 00:25:35,333 --> 00:25:36,500 READY? 665 00:25:36,533 --> 00:25:39,500 OKAY... 666 00:25:41,500 --> 00:25:44,167 [SOBBING] 667 00:25:46,067 --> 00:25:48,233 SATURDAY, THERE'S A FUSE EVENT AT FALCON. 668 00:25:48,267 --> 00:25:50,500 WE SHOULD GO. 669 00:25:50,533 --> 00:25:51,967 HELENA, I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER 670 00:25:52,067 --> 00:25:54,467 HOW TO SAY HELLO TO A GIRL AT A BAR. 671 00:25:54,500 --> 00:25:56,233 I'LL HELP YOU. 672 00:25:56,267 --> 00:26:00,100 WE'LL SCOPE THE PLACE OUT, YOU SEE ANYBODY YOU LIKE, AND-- 673 00:26:00,133 --> 00:26:03,933 YOUR CAR'S BLUE. 674 00:26:03,967 --> 00:26:05,933 I KNOW IT'S DIRTY. 675 00:26:05,967 --> 00:26:08,233 I'M USUALLY SUCH A NEAT FREAK, REALLY. 676 00:26:08,267 --> 00:26:09,733 YOU'LL NEVER MEET ANYONE TIDIER THAN ME. 677 00:26:09,767 --> 00:26:10,733 IT'S JUST... 678 00:26:10,767 --> 00:26:14,067 SINCE DANA, YEAH. 679 00:26:14,067 --> 00:26:17,933 YOU KNOW, MY LIFE IS SHIT, HELENA, OKAY? 680 00:26:17,967 --> 00:26:20,067 YOU SAW ME IN THERE. 681 00:26:20,067 --> 00:26:21,367 I'M GOOD FOR FIVE MINUTES ON THESE MEDS, AND THEN IT-- 682 00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:22,767 AND THEN IT WEARS OFF. 683 00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:23,767 THAT'S THE TROUBLE WITH MEDICATION. 684 00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:25,567 MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST ST-- 685 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:27,833 I SHOULD TAKE MORE. I SHOULD TAKE A HIGHER DOSE. 686 00:26:27,867 --> 00:26:29,900 YES, OF COURSE. IT'S-- I JUST-- 687 00:26:29,933 --> 00:26:31,733 IT'S VERY...NOT PRECISE, THIS PILL-POPPING BUSINESS. 688 00:26:31,767 --> 00:26:33,800 YOU KNOW? 689 00:26:41,267 --> 00:26:43,133 ARE YOU JUDGING ME? 690 00:26:43,167 --> 00:26:45,200 I MEAN, I WOULD UNDERSTAND IF YOU WERE, BUT... 691 00:26:45,233 --> 00:26:47,067 NO, I JUST... 692 00:26:50,067 --> 00:26:52,333 YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND, YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND. 693 00:26:52,367 --> 00:26:54,067 GOOD FRIEND. 694 00:27:04,133 --> 00:27:05,133 FUCK! 695 00:27:05,167 --> 00:27:07,333 [TELEPHONE RINGING] 696 00:27:07,367 --> 00:27:09,733 KIT, CAN YOU HELP ME WITH THIS TABLE BEFORE YOU GO? 697 00:27:09,767 --> 00:27:12,400 SHE'S GOING TO BE HERE IN TWO SECONDS. 698 00:27:12,433 --> 00:27:14,067 [CAR HORN HONKING] 699 00:27:14,067 --> 00:27:17,167 JESUS, WHAT IS THEIR FUCKING PROBLEM? 700 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:19,633 HERE WE ARE. OKAY. 701 00:27:19,667 --> 00:27:21,133 THAT'S THE SOCIAL WORKER. 702 00:27:21,167 --> 00:27:23,967 SHE NEEDS HELP GETTING UP THE PORCH STEPS. 703 00:27:24,067 --> 00:27:25,233 HERE YOU GO. 704 00:27:25,267 --> 00:27:27,067 HERE WE GO, ANGELICA. 705 00:27:27,100 --> 00:27:28,267 HERE, BOO-BOO. 706 00:27:28,300 --> 00:27:31,800 COME ON, LET'S GO MEET THE SOCIAL WORKER. 707 00:27:41,700 --> 00:27:42,700 HI. 708 00:27:42,733 --> 00:27:43,967 YOU MADE IT. 709 00:27:44,067 --> 00:27:45,933 HELLO, MS. COLLIE. 710 00:27:45,967 --> 00:27:47,800 I'M BETTE PORTER. 711 00:27:47,833 --> 00:27:49,300 IT'S REALLY NICE TO MEET YOU. 712 00:27:49,333 --> 00:27:50,933 THIS IS MY PARTNER, TINA KENNARD, 713 00:27:50,967 --> 00:27:52,967 AND THIS MY SISTER, 714 00:27:53,067 --> 00:27:54,667 KIT PORTER. 715 00:27:54,700 --> 00:27:56,300 AND THIS 716 00:27:56,333 --> 00:27:57,900 IS ANGELICA. 717 00:27:57,933 --> 00:27:59,500 YOU MIGHT WANT TO PUT THAT BABY DOWN 718 00:27:59,533 --> 00:28:00,667 AND HELP ME UP THESE STEPS. 719 00:28:00,700 --> 00:28:02,067 WELL, WE DON'T REALLY PUT HER DOWN, 720 00:28:02,067 --> 00:28:03,700 BUT I THINK WE'LL BE OKAY. 721 00:28:03,733 --> 00:28:04,700 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU DON'T PUT HER DOWN? 722 00:28:04,733 --> 00:28:06,300 WELL, WE'RE-- 723 00:28:06,333 --> 00:28:08,067 WE'RE PRACTICING ATTACHMENT PARENTING. 724 00:28:08,067 --> 00:28:10,133 WELL, I SAY 725 00:28:10,167 --> 00:28:12,300 ANYTHING THAT CAN BE ATTACHED CAN BE DETACHED. 726 00:28:12,333 --> 00:28:13,967 SO WHY DON'T YOU DETACH THE BABY, 727 00:28:14,067 --> 00:28:15,500 PUT HER IN HER CRIB FOR A FEW MINUTES 728 00:28:15,533 --> 00:28:16,633 SO YOU DON'T DROP ME. 729 00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:21,900 I THINK TINA AND I CAN MANAGE THIS, OKAY? 730 00:28:21,933 --> 00:28:23,300 ANYWAY, WE DON'T HAVE A CRIB. 731 00:28:23,333 --> 00:28:25,733 WE BOUGHT ONE, 732 00:28:25,767 --> 00:28:27,433 BUT IT BECAME APPARENT 733 00:28:27,467 --> 00:28:29,233 THAT WE WEREN'T GOING TO USE IT, 734 00:28:29,267 --> 00:28:32,467 SO WE DONATED IT TO A FAMILY IN EAST L.A. 735 00:28:32,500 --> 00:28:33,533 THAT'S WHERE I WORK. 736 00:28:36,067 --> 00:28:37,400 YOU HAVE A SIX-MONTH-OLD BABY, 737 00:28:37,433 --> 00:28:39,933 AND YOU DON'T HAVE A CRIB? 738 00:28:39,967 --> 00:28:42,067 OKAY, GOOD LUCK, MOMMIES. 739 00:28:49,933 --> 00:28:51,300 [TIRES SQUEALING] 740 00:28:51,333 --> 00:28:52,867 CUNT... 741 00:28:52,900 --> 00:28:54,167 CUNT! 742 00:28:57,067 --> 00:28:58,067 HEY... DANA? 743 00:29:01,133 --> 00:29:02,900 DANA! 744 00:29:02,933 --> 00:29:04,233 FUCK YOU! 745 00:29:04,267 --> 00:29:07,067 FUCK YOU! 746 00:29:07,100 --> 00:29:09,467 GOING TO GET AWAY? THINK YOU'RE GOING TO GET AWAY? 747 00:29:17,967 --> 00:29:19,467 OH, FUCK YOU! 748 00:29:19,500 --> 00:29:20,933 DANA! 749 00:29:22,700 --> 00:29:24,800 [CELLPHONE RINGS] 750 00:29:24,833 --> 00:29:25,700 ARE YOU INSANE? 751 00:29:25,733 --> 00:29:27,067 AM I INSANE? 752 00:29:27,100 --> 00:29:28,300 YOU'RE THE ONE WHO DID THIS, DANA, OKAY? 753 00:29:28,333 --> 00:29:29,333 JUST STOP IT, AL-- 754 00:29:29,367 --> 00:29:30,367 YOU DID THIS! 755 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:31,400 JUST STOP IT! 756 00:29:31,433 --> 00:29:33,100 I DIDN'T LEAVE YOU, OKAY? 757 00:29:34,300 --> 00:29:35,300 GOD! 758 00:29:35,333 --> 00:29:36,400 ALICE! 759 00:29:38,500 --> 00:29:41,100 [BRAKES SCREECHING] 760 00:29:42,300 --> 00:29:44,067 HOLD IT, DANA, I'M GETTING ANOTHER CALL. 761 00:29:44,100 --> 00:29:45,133 HOLD ON, OKAY? 762 00:29:45,167 --> 00:29:45,933 [GROWLING] 763 00:29:47,567 --> 00:29:48,600 HELLO? 764 00:29:48,633 --> 00:29:50,400 ALICE? 765 00:29:50,433 --> 00:29:52,133 IT'S HELENA. 766 00:29:52,167 --> 00:29:53,900 LOOK, I WANTED YOU TO BE THE FIRST TO KNOW-- 767 00:29:53,933 --> 00:29:54,967 HELENA... 768 00:29:55,067 --> 00:29:56,633 CAN YOU JUST HOLD ON? 769 00:29:56,667 --> 00:29:57,900 I'M JUST-- DANA'S TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM ME. HOLD ON. 770 00:29:57,933 --> 00:29:59,767 DANA'S WHAT? 771 00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:01,800 I JUST-- SHE'S TRYING-- FUCK. 772 00:30:01,833 --> 00:30:02,867 FUCK... 773 00:30:02,900 --> 00:30:04,767 HEY, I'M BACK. 774 00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:07,400 I'M BUYING A MOVIE STUDIO, ALICE. 775 00:30:07,433 --> 00:30:09,267 THAT'S GREAT, HELENA. THAT'S SO GOOD. 776 00:30:09,300 --> 00:30:10,733 I CAN'T REALLY TALK RIGHT NOW, THOUGH. 777 00:30:10,767 --> 00:30:12,200 NO, NO, NO. 778 00:30:12,233 --> 00:30:13,867 I NEED TO ASK YOU ONE QUICK QUESTION. 779 00:30:13,900 --> 00:30:15,600 DANA, FUCK! 780 00:30:15,633 --> 00:30:17,267 WONDERING WHAT YOUR NATURAL HAIR COLOR IS. 781 00:30:17,300 --> 00:30:18,933 OH, UM... 782 00:30:18,967 --> 00:30:20,967 I GUESS IF I GO BACK TO CHILDHOOD, IT'S-- 783 00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:22,933 YOU KNOW, I WOULD CONSIDER MYSELF A BLONDE, 784 00:30:22,967 --> 00:30:24,633 UM... 785 00:30:24,667 --> 00:30:25,767 IT KIND OF DEPENDS 786 00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:27,200 ON WHAT ANGLE YOU LOOK AT ME. 787 00:30:27,233 --> 00:30:29,200 I MEAN, IT'S KIND OF UP FOR INTERPRETATION. 788 00:30:29,233 --> 00:30:30,067 IF YOU LOOK AT ME FROM ONE ANGLE, 789 00:30:30,100 --> 00:30:31,567 IT COULD BE A-- A... 790 00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:33,600 YOU KNOW, A LIGHTISH DIRTY BLONDE, 791 00:30:33,633 --> 00:30:35,600 OR, YOU KNOW FROM ANOTHER ANGLE, 792 00:30:35,633 --> 00:30:37,100 IT COULD BE SORT OF A-- A... 793 00:30:37,133 --> 00:30:39,633 VERY PALE BRUNETTE. 794 00:30:39,667 --> 00:30:41,933 OH, GODDAMMIT, I LOST HER. 795 00:30:41,967 --> 00:30:42,967 HOLD ON A SEC, OKAY? 796 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:44,800 ALICE! 797 00:30:46,267 --> 00:30:47,733 HEY, DANE. 798 00:30:47,767 --> 00:30:49,467 DANE, UM, ARE YOU PLANNING ON GOING STRAIGHT DOWN SUNSET, 799 00:30:49,500 --> 00:30:50,800 OR DO YOU THINK 800 00:30:50,833 --> 00:30:52,967 THAT MAYBE YOU MIGHT TURN OFF? 801 00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:53,967 DANA? 802 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:54,967 [DIAL TONE] 803 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:56,100 DANA? 804 00:31:00,433 --> 00:31:01,700 [SCOFFS] 805 00:31:01,733 --> 00:31:04,167 YOU HAVEN'T EXACTLY BABY-PROOFED, HAVE YOU? 806 00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:06,667 WELL, I DON'T BELIEVE IN BABY-PROOFING, PER SE. 807 00:31:06,700 --> 00:31:08,233 I MEAN, FIRST OF ALL, IT'S UGLY. 808 00:31:08,267 --> 00:31:09,833 AND I REALLY WANT ANGELICA 809 00:31:09,867 --> 00:31:12,300 TO DEVELOP AN INTRINSIC SENSE OF BEAUTY. 810 00:31:12,333 --> 00:31:15,067 MM-HMM. 811 00:31:15,067 --> 00:31:17,533 WELL, I CAN TELL THAT'S IMPORTANT TO YOU, BETTE. 812 00:31:17,567 --> 00:31:20,200 PRESUMABLY, IT'S WHY I DON'T SEE AN ABUNDANCE 813 00:31:20,233 --> 00:31:22,167 OF BRIGHTLY COLORED, 814 00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:24,067 STIMULATING INTERACTIVE PLASTIC TOYS 815 00:31:24,067 --> 00:31:25,100 STREWN AROUND THE HOME. 816 00:31:25,133 --> 00:31:28,067 EXACTLY. 817 00:31:28,067 --> 00:31:30,567 AND FROM THE POINT OF VIEW OF SAFETY? 818 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:31,600 WELL, MS. COLLIE, I TRULY BELIEVE-- 819 00:31:31,633 --> 00:31:32,600 CALL ME ROBERTA. 820 00:31:32,633 --> 00:31:34,133 ROBERTA... 821 00:31:34,167 --> 00:31:36,233 I BELIEVE THAT CHILDREN CAN LEARN 822 00:31:36,267 --> 00:31:38,833 WHAT'S SAFE AND WHAT'S NOT SAFE 823 00:31:38,867 --> 00:31:40,200 THROUGH TACTILE ENCOUNTERS. 824 00:31:40,233 --> 00:31:41,600 I MEAN, AT THIS AGE, 825 00:31:41,633 --> 00:31:43,167 SHE CAN'T REALLY GRASP CONCEPTS. 826 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,600 SHE CAN ONLY HAVE EXPERIENCES. 827 00:31:45,633 --> 00:31:47,867 SO YOU'RE PLANNING TO LET HER PUT HER HAND IN THE FIRE? 828 00:31:49,500 --> 00:31:50,633 METAPHORICALLY. 829 00:31:50,667 --> 00:31:52,333 I'LL GIVE YOU A METAPHOR, BETTE. 830 00:31:52,367 --> 00:31:56,367 GO AHEAD AND THROW YOURSELF OFF THE 405 OVERPASS. 831 00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:57,733 IT'LL HURT LIKE HELL, 832 00:31:57,767 --> 00:31:59,067 AND DAMN STRAIGHT YOU WON'T DO IT AGAIN, 833 00:31:59,067 --> 00:32:00,700 BECAUSE YOU'LL BE DEAD. 834 00:32:00,733 --> 00:32:02,800 IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE TOTALLY OPPOSED 835 00:32:02,833 --> 00:32:04,367 TO BABY-PROOFING. 836 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,167 I MEAN, SHE'S NOT EVEN CRAWLING YET. 837 00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:10,200 I KNOW, SHE'S NOT EVEN CRAWLING. 838 00:32:10,233 --> 00:32:12,100 I'VE BEEN RESEARCHING POOL COVERS AND FENCES. 839 00:32:12,133 --> 00:32:13,133 THE FENCES ARE REALLY UGLY. 840 00:32:13,167 --> 00:32:14,133 BETTE HATES THEM A LOT. 841 00:32:14,167 --> 00:32:15,167 REALLY A LOT. 842 00:32:21,833 --> 00:32:23,267 MOM? 843 00:32:23,300 --> 00:32:24,367 HELLO, DARLING. 844 00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:25,867 [SILVERWARE RATTLING] 845 00:32:28,467 --> 00:32:30,433 NOW, WE'VE REALLY GOT TO HURRY HERE. 846 00:32:30,467 --> 00:32:33,633 WE'VE GOT ONE HOUR UNTIL SUNDOWN. 847 00:32:33,667 --> 00:32:35,567 SO... 848 00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:37,633 HERE, CAN YOU TAKE THAT END 849 00:32:37,667 --> 00:32:38,933 AND PUT THAT UP THERE? 850 00:32:38,967 --> 00:32:41,067 AND THEN I'M GOING TO GET YOU 851 00:32:41,067 --> 00:32:43,733 TO GET THE CHINA DOWN. 852 00:32:43,767 --> 00:32:47,600 YOUR FATHER WANTS EVERYONE TO GO TO SHUL. 853 00:32:47,633 --> 00:32:49,400 HE SAYS THIS IS YOUR LAST DINNER 854 00:32:49,433 --> 00:32:52,733 HERE IN SKOKIE. 855 00:32:52,767 --> 00:32:56,067 I HAD MY LAST THERAPY SESSION WITH DR. PERETZ TODAY. 856 00:32:56,100 --> 00:32:59,233 HMM. 857 00:32:59,267 --> 00:33:00,533 DO-- DO YOU KNOW 858 00:33:00,567 --> 00:33:04,067 YOUR FATHER'S INVITED THE CRANES FOR DINNER? 859 00:33:04,067 --> 00:33:07,133 MARSHALL'S BACK FROM MIT. 860 00:33:07,167 --> 00:33:09,833 HE'S GOING TO BE AT SHUL. 861 00:33:09,867 --> 00:33:12,067 YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE REALLY AWESOME? 862 00:33:12,067 --> 00:33:15,100 IF YOU COULD PLEASE ASK MY STEPFATHER 863 00:33:15,133 --> 00:33:18,133 TO STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS, 864 00:33:18,167 --> 00:33:19,333 ESPECIALLY MARSHALL CRANE. 865 00:33:19,367 --> 00:33:21,600 AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH MARSHALL? 866 00:33:21,633 --> 00:33:23,400 HE'S A MATHEMATICAL GENIUS. 867 00:33:23,433 --> 00:33:24,633 NOTHING, 868 00:33:24,667 --> 00:33:26,433 EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT HE'S A MAN, AND I-- 869 00:33:26,467 --> 00:33:27,667 DON'T START, JENNY. 870 00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:36,333 WE ALL KNOW YOU WERE SICK. 871 00:33:36,367 --> 00:33:38,067 THAT'S NOT PART OF MY SICKNESS. 872 00:33:38,067 --> 00:33:41,967 OH, AND IS THAT WHAT DR. PERETZ HAS BEEN TELLING YOU? 873 00:33:42,067 --> 00:33:43,700 DR. PERETZ DOESN'T HAVE A PROBLEM 874 00:33:43,733 --> 00:33:45,600 WITH MY SEXUAL ORIENTATION, MOM. 875 00:33:48,533 --> 00:33:51,633 WELL, THEN, I HAVE TO TELL YOU 876 00:33:51,667 --> 00:33:54,767 THAT I THINK DR. PERETZ IS AS SICK AS YOU ARE. 877 00:33:56,500 --> 00:34:00,867 [***] 878 00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:11,667 HERE WE ARE. 879 00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:14,433 [SHANE]: I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS. 880 00:34:14,467 --> 00:34:15,933 WHY? WHAT'S WRONG? 881 00:34:15,967 --> 00:34:17,067 IT'S TOO SOON. 882 00:34:17,067 --> 00:34:18,633 NO, I'M TELLING YOU. 883 00:34:18,667 --> 00:34:19,800 YOU'RE GOING TO BE FINE, OKAY? 884 00:34:19,833 --> 00:34:21,533 JUST... 885 00:34:21,567 --> 00:34:23,533 THEY DON'T THINK LIKE THAT, ALL RIGHT? 886 00:34:23,567 --> 00:34:24,733 SO ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS BE YOURSELF. 887 00:34:24,767 --> 00:34:27,267 THEY ARE GOING TO FUCKING LOVE YOU. 888 00:34:29,067 --> 00:34:30,767 COME ON. 889 00:34:43,233 --> 00:34:44,200 THIS OKAY? 890 00:34:44,233 --> 00:34:45,333 YEAH. 891 00:34:45,367 --> 00:34:47,667 YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL. 892 00:34:47,700 --> 00:34:49,367 OKAY... 893 00:34:51,733 --> 00:34:54,133 THE SHOW DEBUTS NEXT MONTH AT THE SLATE MUSEUM. 894 00:34:54,167 --> 00:34:55,233 IT'S CALLED THE ART OF DISSENT. 895 00:34:55,267 --> 00:34:58,667 I SEE, 896 00:34:58,700 --> 00:34:59,767 AND DOES A PERSON ACTUALLY GET PAID 897 00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:01,233 FOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT? 898 00:35:01,267 --> 00:35:02,367 OH, WELL, IT'S NOT A FULL-TIME JOB. 899 00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:04,100 I'M JUST DOING IT AS A PASSION PROJECT 900 00:35:04,133 --> 00:35:06,433 WHILE I'M LOOKING FOR A MORE PERMANENT POSITION. 901 00:35:06,467 --> 00:35:07,833 SO YOU'RE UNEMPLOYED? 902 00:35:07,867 --> 00:35:09,367 JUST FOR THE LAST SIX MONTHS. 903 00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:10,767 I'VE BEEN OFFERED SEVERAL POSITIONS, 904 00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:13,567 JUST NONE THAT I-- THAT I PASSIONATELY WANT TO DO. 905 00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:15,600 IS THAT ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY? 906 00:35:15,633 --> 00:35:17,267 WHAT? I'M SORRY. 907 00:35:17,300 --> 00:35:18,700 THE INFANT! 908 00:35:18,733 --> 00:35:19,933 THE SPOON, THE BANGING AND CLANGING. 909 00:35:19,967 --> 00:35:21,067 CAN YOU NOT JUST PUT IT AWAY 910 00:35:21,067 --> 00:35:22,300 FOR 15 MINUTES? 911 00:35:22,333 --> 00:35:23,633 OH. POTS AND PANS AWAY. 912 00:35:23,667 --> 00:35:24,867 I MEANT THE BABY. 913 00:35:29,167 --> 00:35:31,333 WHY DON'T YOU JUST NURSE HER FOR A WHILE? 914 00:35:31,367 --> 00:35:32,433 OKAY, LET ME JUST REVIEW. 915 00:35:32,467 --> 00:35:34,267 [CLEARS THROAT] 916 00:35:34,300 --> 00:35:36,567 NO BABY-PROOFING, 917 00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:38,133 PASSIONATELY UNEMPLOYED, 918 00:35:38,167 --> 00:35:41,100 HARBORS SEXUALLY EXPLICIT, 919 00:35:41,133 --> 00:35:42,367 ANTI-PATRIOTIC PROPAGANDA 920 00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:44,467 MASQUERADING AS ART. 921 00:35:44,500 --> 00:35:45,533 WHAT ABOUT MEN? 922 00:35:45,567 --> 00:35:47,100 MEN? 923 00:35:47,133 --> 00:35:49,533 YOU DO KNOW THAT WE'RE LESBIANS, RIGHT? 924 00:35:49,567 --> 00:35:52,067 YES, THAT MATTER WAS FAIRLY EXPLICITLY TOUTED 925 00:35:52,067 --> 00:35:53,367 ON YOUR PETITION TO THE STATE, 926 00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,067 WHICH IS ALL THE MORE REASON 927 00:35:55,067 --> 00:35:56,467 WHY I FIND THE MAN QUESTION CRITICAL. 928 00:35:56,500 --> 00:35:58,933 HOW IS ANGELICA GOING TO KNOW WHAT A MAN IS? 929 00:35:58,967 --> 00:35:59,667 ALL SHE HAS TO DO IS TURN ON THE TELEVISION. 930 00:35:59,700 --> 00:36:01,067 THEY'RE EVERYWHERE. 931 00:36:01,067 --> 00:36:02,933 OUR CHILD'S GOING TO BE AROUND 932 00:36:02,967 --> 00:36:05,300 A LOT OF MEN. 933 00:36:05,333 --> 00:36:07,233 BUT WILL THERE BE A SIGNIFICANT MAN? 934 00:36:07,267 --> 00:36:12,200 I MEAN, IS SHE GOING TO KNOW ONE SPECIAL MAN'S VOICE? 935 00:36:12,233 --> 00:36:13,233 I MEAN, HOW IS SHE GOING TO KNOW 936 00:36:13,267 --> 00:36:15,867 WHAT A MAN FEELS LIKE, 937 00:36:15,900 --> 00:36:18,900 WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE? 938 00:36:18,933 --> 00:36:20,700 WILL SHE EVER... 939 00:36:20,733 --> 00:36:24,600 RUB HER CHEEK UP AGAINST A SCRATCHY, UNSHAVEN FACE? 940 00:36:24,633 --> 00:36:27,600 PLAY WITH THE LITTLE CURLY HAIRS ON HIS CHEST 941 00:36:27,633 --> 00:36:30,067 OR HIS BACK... 942 00:36:30,067 --> 00:36:31,700 [CRASHING, GLASS SHATTERS] 943 00:36:31,733 --> 00:36:32,700 [AIR HISSING] 944 00:36:32,733 --> 00:36:33,967 WHOA... 945 00:36:34,067 --> 00:36:35,233 [ALICE, SHOUTING]: WHERE THE FUCK 946 00:36:35,267 --> 00:36:36,800 DID THAT COME FROM? 947 00:36:36,833 --> 00:36:38,600 SHIT, MOTHERFUCKER! 948 00:36:38,633 --> 00:36:41,667 GODDAMMIT! JESUS CHRIST! 949 00:36:41,700 --> 00:36:43,467 GREAT. 950 00:36:45,767 --> 00:36:47,300 WELL, JESUS FUCK! 951 00:36:47,333 --> 00:36:49,067 [TINA]: WHAT HAPPENED? 952 00:36:49,067 --> 00:36:50,067 WELL, I'M COMING IN YOUR DRIVEWAY, 953 00:36:50,067 --> 00:36:51,367 AND THIS BIG FUCKING, 954 00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:52,467 RIDICULOUS THING'S IN THE WAY. 955 00:36:52,500 --> 00:36:53,467 RIDICULOUS HOW? 956 00:36:53,500 --> 00:36:54,500 IS THAT YOUR CAR? 957 00:36:54,533 --> 00:36:55,967 BECAUSE YOU COULD MAYBE 958 00:36:56,067 --> 00:36:57,300 HAVE MOVED IT UP A LITTLE. 959 00:36:57,333 --> 00:36:58,367 THERE'S, LIKE, 10 FEET IN FRONT OF YOU. 960 00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:00,600 DO YOU KNOW THIS PERSON? 961 00:37:00,633 --> 00:37:01,800 ANYWAY, I'M SORRY I TAPPED YOUR CAR. 962 00:37:01,833 --> 00:37:03,167 TAPPED? 963 00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:04,067 I THINK IT'S THESE DRUGS I'M ON, 964 00:37:04,067 --> 00:37:05,567 AND I JUST GOT IN A CAR CHASE-- 965 00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:07,267 YOU GOT IN A CAR CHASE WITH DANA? 966 00:37:07,300 --> 00:37:08,533 YEAH, I KIND OF RAN HER OFF THE ROAD. 967 00:37:08,567 --> 00:37:09,900 WHAT? 968 00:37:09,933 --> 00:37:11,067 ANYWAY, LOOK, LADY, I DON'T KNOW. 969 00:37:11,100 --> 00:37:12,200 I MEAN, YOUR CAR IS FINE. 970 00:37:12,233 --> 00:37:13,133 IT'S LIKE MINE GOT THE WORST OF IT. 971 00:37:13,167 --> 00:37:14,167 IF YOU COULD LOOK... 972 00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,233 YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE, 973 00:37:16,267 --> 00:37:17,233 IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A LOT LESS DAMAGE 974 00:37:17,267 --> 00:37:18,233 IF YOU DROVE A NORMAL CAR. 975 00:37:18,267 --> 00:37:20,067 NORMAL? 976 00:37:20,100 --> 00:37:20,667 SHE DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY. THAT'S NOT WHAT SHE MEANT. 977 00:37:20,700 --> 00:37:22,133 LET'S JUST HOPE 978 00:37:22,167 --> 00:37:23,333 SHE DOESN'T HAVE A LOT OF CONTACT WITH THE CHILD. 979 00:37:23,367 --> 00:37:24,967 I'LL BE GOING NOW. 980 00:37:25,067 --> 00:37:26,400 UH, I HAPPEN TO BE THE EARTH MOTHER. 981 00:37:26,433 --> 00:37:27,767 I WOULD HAVE BEEN THE GODMOTHER, 982 00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:29,267 BUT I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD. 983 00:37:29,300 --> 00:37:30,067 OF COURSE YOU DON'T. 984 00:37:30,100 --> 00:37:31,667 IT WAS MAMA B'S IDEA. 985 00:37:31,700 --> 00:37:33,333 OF COURSE IT WAS. 986 00:37:33,367 --> 00:37:34,933 I'LL BE BACK IN 10 DAYS. YOU'RE COMING BACK? 987 00:37:34,967 --> 00:37:37,300 WE DO TWO HOME VISITS PER CASE, 988 00:37:37,333 --> 00:37:39,300 SO YOU'LL GET A SECOND CHANCE... 989 00:37:39,333 --> 00:37:42,433 THOUGH FIRST IMPRESSIONS ARE HARD TO OVERCOME. 990 00:37:46,067 --> 00:37:47,167 HELP, PLEASE. 991 00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:49,533 AND MOVE CAR! 992 00:37:49,567 --> 00:37:52,267 OH, SHE'S REALLY TOO MUCH. 993 00:37:53,367 --> 00:37:56,967 HELP, PLEASE! 994 00:37:57,067 --> 00:37:58,067 TODAY! 995 00:38:05,100 --> 00:38:07,600 COME ON, EAT MORE. YOU'RE SO SKINNY. 996 00:38:07,633 --> 00:38:09,467 SHE'S SO SKINNY. DON'T YOU FEED HER? 997 00:38:09,500 --> 00:38:11,233 NO, MOMMY, I DO NOT FEED HER. 998 00:38:11,267 --> 00:38:13,667 SHE FEEDS HERSELF. 999 00:38:13,700 --> 00:38:15,767 SUCH A PRETTY GIRL, TOO. 1000 00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:17,167 DON'T YOU THINK SHE'S PRETTY? 1001 00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:19,633 YES, MOM, SHE'S VERY PRETTY. 1002 00:38:19,667 --> 00:38:21,300 [SHANE]: THANK YOU. 1003 00:38:21,333 --> 00:38:25,633 JANE, CARMEN SAYS THAT YOU'RE A HAIRDRESSER. 1004 00:38:25,667 --> 00:38:27,100 I AM. 1005 00:38:27,133 --> 00:38:29,967 WHO DOES YOUR HAIR? 1006 00:38:32,167 --> 00:38:33,667 OH, I DO. 1007 00:38:33,700 --> 00:38:34,967 IT'S THE LOOK, MAMA. 1008 00:38:36,967 --> 00:38:40,100 YEAH, IT'S THE BOMB. 1009 00:38:40,133 --> 00:38:41,467 DO YOU KNOW COUSIN EVI? 1010 00:38:41,500 --> 00:38:43,967 NO, I DON'T BELIEVE I DO. 1011 00:38:44,067 --> 00:38:45,633 MOM, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME 1012 00:38:45,667 --> 00:38:46,833 SHE'S MET ANYONE IN OUR FAMILY. 1013 00:38:46,867 --> 00:38:48,900 EVI'S AN ASSISTANT HAIRDRESSER. 1014 00:38:48,933 --> 00:38:51,067 SHE WORKS DOWNTOWN AT JOSE'S HAIR EXPERIENCE. 1015 00:38:51,067 --> 00:38:54,733 WELL, THAT'S VERY COOL. 1016 00:38:54,767 --> 00:38:55,800 YOUR FAMILY, JANE, 1017 00:38:55,833 --> 00:38:57,233 THEY LIVE IN LOS ANGELES? 1018 00:38:57,267 --> 00:38:58,800 YOU SEE THEM ALL THE TIME? 1019 00:38:58,833 --> 00:39:00,067 [SPEAKS SPANISH] 1020 00:39:00,100 --> 00:39:02,200 MOMMY, PLEASE. 1021 00:39:02,233 --> 00:39:04,367 PLEASE, MOM, COME ON. 1022 00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:07,867 ACTUALLY I'M FROM AUSTIN, 1023 00:39:07,900 --> 00:39:10,300 AND I THINK MY FAMILY ARE STILL THERE. 1024 00:39:10,333 --> 00:39:12,067 YOU THINK? 1025 00:39:12,067 --> 00:39:13,867 YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOUR FAMILY IS? 1026 00:39:13,900 --> 00:39:16,467 I JUST HAVEN'T SEEN THEM IN A WHILE. 1027 00:39:16,500 --> 00:39:18,533 [SPEAKING SPANISH] 1028 00:39:18,567 --> 00:39:21,400 [SPEAKING SPANISH] 1029 00:39:21,433 --> 00:39:23,200 CARMEN... 1030 00:39:23,233 --> 00:39:24,233 I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 1031 00:39:24,267 --> 00:39:25,500 HER FAMILY... 1032 00:39:25,533 --> 00:39:28,067 OH, WELL, UM, 1033 00:39:28,067 --> 00:39:29,133 SHE GREW UP IN FOSTER CARE. 1034 00:39:29,167 --> 00:39:32,067 SO SHE HASN'T MET HER FATHER, 1035 00:39:32,067 --> 00:39:35,233 AND SHE NEVER REALLY KNEW HER MOTHER EITHER. 1036 00:39:35,267 --> 00:39:37,400 SO... 1037 00:39:37,433 --> 00:39:41,067 [SPEAKS SPANISH] 1038 00:39:41,100 --> 00:39:42,300 WE'RE YOUR FAMILY NOW, OKAY? 1039 00:39:42,333 --> 00:39:43,367 OH... 1040 00:39:44,900 --> 00:39:46,067 [SPEAKS SPANISH] 1041 00:39:46,067 --> 00:39:47,067 THANK YOU. 1042 00:39:47,067 --> 00:39:49,100 GRACIAS. THANK YOU. 1043 00:39:52,233 --> 00:39:56,300 [***] 1044 00:40:07,667 --> 00:40:08,700 HOW YOU DOING? 1045 00:40:08,733 --> 00:40:11,700 HI. 1046 00:40:11,733 --> 00:40:13,000 HOW ARE YOU? 1047 00:40:13,033 --> 00:40:14,067 I'M ALL RIGHT. 1048 00:40:14,100 --> 00:40:15,633 YEAH? 1049 00:40:15,667 --> 00:40:16,867 HOW'S THE BOOK GOING? 1050 00:40:16,900 --> 00:40:18,667 I-- I DON'T KNOW. 1051 00:40:18,700 --> 00:40:20,400 I THINK IT'S OKAY. 1052 00:40:20,433 --> 00:40:21,667 I THINK IT'S GOOD. I THINK I'M ALMOST DONE, 1053 00:40:21,700 --> 00:40:22,867 WHICH MEANS THAT I'M GETTING READY 1054 00:40:22,900 --> 00:40:24,733 TO BLOW OUT OF THIS TOWN. 1055 00:40:24,767 --> 00:40:26,467 I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT. 1056 00:40:26,500 --> 00:40:27,633 WHAT? 1057 00:40:27,667 --> 00:40:28,833 I WANT TO GO FOR IT. 1058 00:40:28,867 --> 00:40:30,833 FUCK OFF. 1059 00:40:30,867 --> 00:40:32,233 YOU WANT TO COME TO L.A. WITH ME? 1060 00:40:34,767 --> 00:40:35,900 YEAH. 1061 00:40:35,933 --> 00:40:38,467 WHOO! 1062 00:40:38,500 --> 00:40:40,533 I'M EXCITED. 1063 00:40:40,567 --> 00:40:42,067 MOM? 1064 00:40:42,100 --> 00:40:44,133 WHAT ARE WE DOING IN HERE? 1065 00:40:44,167 --> 00:40:46,033 MARISELA'S QUINCEANERA, NEXT FRIDAY. 1066 00:40:46,067 --> 00:40:47,133 JANE HAS TO COME. 1067 00:40:47,167 --> 00:40:48,467 MOTHER, NO, PLEASE. 1068 00:40:48,500 --> 00:40:50,000 WHA-- WHAT'S A QUINCEARA? 1069 00:40:50,033 --> 00:40:51,133 A QUINCEANERA. 1070 00:40:51,167 --> 00:40:53,233 IT'S LIKE A SWEET 15. 1071 00:40:53,267 --> 00:40:55,633 [SPEAKS SPANISH] 1072 00:40:55,667 --> 00:40:58,533 AND I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU. 1073 00:40:58,567 --> 00:41:00,200 IT'S THIS RELIGIOUS CEREMONY. 1074 00:41:00,233 --> 00:41:01,367 IT TAKES PLACE IN A CHURCH, 1075 00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:03,667 AND IT'S A HUGE PARTY 1076 00:41:03,700 --> 00:41:06,633 WITH GOWNS AND A TIARA AND BOUQUETS 1077 00:41:06,667 --> 00:41:07,767 AND THE WHOLE THING. 1078 00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:09,467 [MOTHER SPEAKING SPANISH] 1079 00:41:09,500 --> 00:41:10,933 BELIEVE OR NOT. 1080 00:41:10,967 --> 00:41:13,400 SHE SAYS SHE USED TO BE SKINNY JUST LIKE YOU. 1081 00:41:13,433 --> 00:41:14,767 [SPEAKING SPANISH] 1082 00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:16,467 I DON'T REMEMBER THAT. 1083 00:41:16,500 --> 00:41:19,267 [MOTHER SPEAKING SPANISH] 1084 00:41:21,100 --> 00:41:23,300 AH... 1085 00:41:23,333 --> 00:41:24,433 HOW PRETTY. 1086 00:41:24,467 --> 00:41:26,333 OH, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL. 1087 00:41:29,300 --> 00:41:30,633 EH, NO... 1088 00:41:30,667 --> 00:41:31,767 [LAUGHS] 1089 00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:33,267 YOU KNOW, I THINK 1090 00:41:33,300 --> 00:41:34,300 THAT IT WOULD LOOK A LOT BETTER ON CARMEN. 1091 00:41:34,333 --> 00:41:35,433 OH, NO! OH, NO! 1092 00:41:35,467 --> 00:41:38,167 CARMEN'S LIKE THIS, YOU'RE LIKE THAT. 1093 00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:39,767 [SPEAKS SPANISH] 1094 00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:41,500 WELL, MAYBE NOT SO SKINNY. 1095 00:41:41,533 --> 00:41:43,967 YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND, JANE? 1096 00:41:44,067 --> 00:41:45,600 NOT YET. 1097 00:41:45,633 --> 00:41:47,300 OH, YOU WILL. 1098 00:41:47,333 --> 00:41:48,467 PUT IT ON. 1099 00:41:48,500 --> 00:41:49,967 I'LL GO GET MY SEWING KIT. 1100 00:41:52,100 --> 00:41:54,933 [DOOR CLOSES] 1101 00:41:54,967 --> 00:41:55,933 MY MOTHER LOVES YOU. 1102 00:41:55,967 --> 00:41:57,267 YEAH, I KNOW SHE DOES. 1103 00:41:57,300 --> 00:41:58,467 I LOVE HER... OH, MY GOSH. 1104 00:41:58,500 --> 00:42:00,200 BUT PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS. 1105 00:42:00,233 --> 00:42:01,533 OH, PLEASE, YOU HAVE TO PUT IT ON. 1106 00:42:01,567 --> 00:42:02,600 OH, BABE... 1107 00:42:02,633 --> 00:42:03,600 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1108 00:42:03,633 --> 00:42:05,367 SHE'S GOING TO COME IN. 1109 00:42:16,633 --> 00:42:18,467 OKAY... 1110 00:42:18,500 --> 00:42:19,533 DON'T, DON'T, DON'T. 1111 00:42:19,567 --> 00:42:21,500 IT'S OKAY. 1112 00:42:23,333 --> 00:42:25,500 BUT YOU FEEL SO GOOD. 1113 00:42:30,967 --> 00:42:33,300 OKAY... 1114 00:42:33,333 --> 00:42:36,900 OH, CARMEN, DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS. 1115 00:42:37,867 --> 00:42:39,867 HANDS IN. IT'S OKAY. 1116 00:42:39,900 --> 00:42:42,067 PLEASE, FOR ME. COME ON. 1117 00:42:45,067 --> 00:42:46,200 OKAY... 1118 00:42:51,833 --> 00:42:54,167 OH, MY GOODNESS. 1119 00:42:57,067 --> 00:42:58,700 OH! 1120 00:42:58,733 --> 00:43:01,067 THAT IS SO PRETTY! 1121 00:43:01,100 --> 00:43:02,167 OH! 1122 00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:05,900 OH... 1123 00:43:05,933 --> 00:43:07,933 OH, LOOK AT THAT. 1124 00:43:07,967 --> 00:43:10,700 OH... 1125 00:43:10,733 --> 00:43:12,267 THIS IS SO GENEROUS OF YOU. 1126 00:43:12,300 --> 00:43:16,367 I-- I KIND OF FEEL BAD... TAKING IT AWAY FROM YOU. 1127 00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:17,600 DON'T BE RIDICULOUS. 1128 00:43:17,633 --> 00:43:20,067 YOU ARE FAMILIA NOW, REMEMBER? 1129 00:43:20,067 --> 00:43:21,633 AH, THERE. 1130 00:43:21,667 --> 00:43:22,900 SI. 1131 00:43:22,933 --> 00:43:24,233 HUH? 1132 00:43:24,267 --> 00:43:25,233 AH... 1133 00:43:25,267 --> 00:43:26,300 IT'S SOMETHING ELSE. 1134 00:43:26,333 --> 00:43:27,400 THANK YOU. 1135 00:43:30,333 --> 00:43:34,367 POOR BABY... 1136 00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:36,433 THIS IS GOING TO MAKE YOU ALL BETTER. 1137 00:43:36,467 --> 00:43:37,733 THANK YOU. 1138 00:43:42,633 --> 00:43:44,133 GOOD? 1139 00:43:44,167 --> 00:43:45,600 WHAT IS THAT? 1140 00:43:45,633 --> 00:43:47,133 DOUBLE LEMON SUGAR COOKIES 1141 00:43:47,167 --> 00:43:49,767 WITH LAVENDER AND ROSEMARY INFUSION. 1142 00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:51,700 I'M TRYING THEM OUT ON YOU. 1143 00:43:51,733 --> 00:43:52,800 THANK YOU. 1144 00:44:01,167 --> 00:44:03,367 MM... 1145 00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:04,367 GOOD? 1146 00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:05,400 YES. 1147 00:44:07,100 --> 00:44:07,833 [GIGGLING] 1148 00:44:07,867 --> 00:44:09,233 WHAT? 1149 00:44:13,500 --> 00:44:15,633 [***] 1150 00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:03,967 [***] 1151 00:45:04,067 --> 00:45:07,900 I WANT TO WAIT UNTIL MY PARENTS ARE ASLEEP 1152 00:45:07,933 --> 00:45:09,733 WHEN I GET MY STUFF, 1153 00:45:09,767 --> 00:45:12,067 BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO START A THING WITH THEM TONIGHT. 1154 00:45:12,100 --> 00:45:14,067 YOU GOING TO BE LIKE A TEENAGE RUNAWAY? 1155 00:45:14,067 --> 00:45:16,133 YES, I AM, 1156 00:45:16,167 --> 00:45:17,300 BECAUSE MY MOM STILL PUTS ME 1157 00:45:17,333 --> 00:45:19,867 IN THAT PLACE, YOU KNOW? 1158 00:45:19,900 --> 00:45:21,633 I DON'T THINK IT'S GOING TO TAKE ME 1159 00:45:21,667 --> 00:45:24,800 MORE THAN, I DON'T KNOW, 20 MINUTES TO PACK, 1160 00:45:24,833 --> 00:45:26,833 BECAUSE I DIDN'T BRING A LOT OF STUFF, 1161 00:45:26,867 --> 00:45:28,600 BECAUSE I DIDN'T THINK I'D BE HERE IN SKOKIE 1162 00:45:28,633 --> 00:45:30,367 FOR SIX MONTHS. 1163 00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:32,933 YEAH... 1164 00:45:32,967 --> 00:45:35,067 THEN WE COULD SWING BY MY PLACE. 1165 00:45:35,067 --> 00:45:36,100 I'M UP IN WILMETTE. 1166 00:45:36,133 --> 00:45:37,200 REALLY? 1167 00:45:39,100 --> 00:45:41,867 ARE WE REALLY GOING TO DO THIS? 1168 00:45:41,900 --> 00:45:43,700 YEAH, I'VE BEEN PLANNING ON GOING TO L.A. 1169 00:45:43,733 --> 00:45:45,300 FROM THE TIME I GOT OUT OF COLLEGE. 1170 00:45:45,333 --> 00:45:46,533 THAT'S, LIKE, TWO YEARS NOW. 1171 00:45:46,567 --> 00:45:47,867 FUCK... 1172 00:45:47,900 --> 00:45:49,567 WHERE DID YOU GO TO COLLEGE? 1173 00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:51,667 UM, HARPER COLLEGE TECH. 1174 00:45:51,700 --> 00:45:53,233 WHAT DID YOU STUDY? 1175 00:45:53,267 --> 00:45:56,067 I DID WEBSITE DESIGN AND PROGRAMMING, 1176 00:45:56,100 --> 00:45:58,733 NETWORK ADMINISTRATION, WIRELESS NETWORKING, 1177 00:45:58,767 --> 00:46:00,367 UH, WEB OPTIMIZATION-- 1178 00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:01,600 ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT 1179 00:46:01,633 --> 00:46:04,067 HAVING SEX WITH ME RIGHT NOW? 1180 00:46:04,100 --> 00:46:06,067 IT'S CROSSED MY MIND. 1181 00:46:30,067 --> 00:46:31,267 WHO DID THAT TO YOU? 1182 00:46:34,467 --> 00:46:36,867 I DID IT TO MYSELF. 1183 00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:00,833 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1184 00:47:00,867 --> 00:47:02,700 YOU HAVE A LUMP. 1185 00:47:02,733 --> 00:47:03,800 HUH? RIGHT THERE. 1186 00:47:03,833 --> 00:47:05,067 OH, I KNOW. IT'S BEEN THERE FOREVER. 1187 00:47:05,100 --> 00:47:06,700 IT'S NOTHING. DANA... 1188 00:47:06,733 --> 00:47:08,133 WHAT? 1189 00:47:08,167 --> 00:47:09,067 WELL, YOU SHOULD GET IT CHECKED OUT. 1190 00:47:09,067 --> 00:47:09,867 I'VE HAD IT CHECKED OUT. 1191 00:47:09,900 --> 00:47:11,300 OH, YOU HAVE? 1192 00:47:11,333 --> 00:47:14,067 YES, THEY'RE VERY SEXY, SINEWY, FIBROUS BREASTS. 1193 00:47:14,067 --> 00:47:15,767 NOW, KISS ME. 1194 00:47:26,567 --> 00:47:30,500 [HEAVY BREATHING, BED SQUEAKING] 1195 00:47:35,067 --> 00:47:37,500 [HEAVY BREATHING, BED SQUEAKING] 1196 00:47:41,067 --> 00:47:43,067 JEN? 1197 00:47:45,433 --> 00:47:46,667 GET UP! 1198 00:47:46,700 --> 00:47:48,833 WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? 1199 00:47:50,833 --> 00:47:52,067 HOW DARE YOU TREAT US THIS WAY 1200 00:47:52,067 --> 00:47:54,333 AFTER WE OPENED OUR HOME TO YOU. 1201 00:47:54,367 --> 00:47:57,067 HOW DARE YOU BRING A MAN BACK INTO THIS HOUSE. 1202 00:47:57,067 --> 00:47:58,467 I WOULD NEVER DO THAT, WARREN. 1203 00:47:58,500 --> 00:47:59,467 [SCOFFS] 1204 00:47:59,500 --> 00:48:00,900 I WANT YOU MEET MOIRA. 1205 00:48:00,933 --> 00:48:02,567 SHE LIVES OVER IN WILMETTE. 1206 00:48:04,633 --> 00:48:05,667 NICE TO MEET YOU. 1207 00:48:07,233 --> 00:48:08,700 S-SORRY. 1208 00:48:08,733 --> 00:48:10,067 GET OUT OF HERE. 1209 00:48:10,100 --> 00:48:11,533 THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING, WARREN. 1210 00:48:11,567 --> 00:48:13,433 JUST GIVE ME A COUPLE OF MINUTES. 1211 00:48:13,467 --> 00:48:14,933 NOW. 1212 00:48:14,967 --> 00:48:17,167 I WANT YOU OUT NOW. 1213 00:48:20,700 --> 00:48:23,833 ACTUALLY... 1214 00:48:23,867 --> 00:48:25,367 YOU'VE WANTED ME OUT OF THIS HOUSE 1215 00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:28,067 FROM THE MOMENT I SET FOOT IN HERE. 1216 00:48:28,067 --> 00:48:29,067 WHAT IS IT, WARREN? 1217 00:48:29,067 --> 00:48:32,567 AM I TOO FUCKED UP FOR YOU? 1218 00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:35,500 AM I TOO PERVERTED? 1219 00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:40,733 LOOK AT ME. 1220 00:48:40,767 --> 00:48:42,067 DO I REMIND YOU 1221 00:48:42,100 --> 00:48:43,667 OF HOW MESSY 1222 00:48:43,700 --> 00:48:44,500 AND OUT OF CONTROL 1223 00:48:44,533 --> 00:48:46,100 YOUR LIFE IS? 1224 00:48:48,267 --> 00:48:50,067 WARREN... 1225 00:48:51,533 --> 00:48:54,267 I'M JUST... 1226 00:48:54,300 --> 00:48:55,767 NOT THE GIRL YOU WANTED ME TO BE-- 1227 00:48:55,800 --> 00:48:56,767 JENNIFER, STOP. 1228 00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:58,200 NO, YOU STOP. 1229 00:48:58,233 --> 00:49:02,833 WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO START BEING 1230 00:49:02,867 --> 00:49:05,967 AN ACTUAL PERSON 1231 00:49:06,067 --> 00:49:07,367 AND NOT THIS SILENT SLAVE 1232 00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:08,800 TO THIS MAN? 1233 00:49:08,833 --> 00:49:11,600 DON'T YOU DARE DISRESPECT YOUR MOTHER. 1234 00:49:11,633 --> 00:49:13,500 THAT'S A PRIVILEGE THAT'S RESERVED FOR YOU. 1235 00:49:13,533 --> 00:49:15,667 I DON'T KNOW WHAT MORE WE CAN DO. 1236 00:49:15,700 --> 00:49:17,533 NOTHING. 1237 00:49:17,567 --> 00:49:19,300 THERE IS NOTHING MORE YOU CAN DO FOR ME 1238 00:49:19,333 --> 00:49:23,300 TO MAKE ME THE PERSON THAT YOU ARE COMFORTABLE WITH, 1239 00:49:23,333 --> 00:49:27,600 BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO MARRY THAT NICE JEWISH BOY. 1240 00:49:27,633 --> 00:49:31,067 I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE THOSE NICE JEWISH KIDS. 1241 00:49:31,100 --> 00:49:34,400 I'M NOT GOING TO SHUT UP 1242 00:49:34,433 --> 00:49:37,267 AND BE SUBSERVIENT. 1243 00:49:37,300 --> 00:49:39,367 I'M NOT GOING TO SET THE DINNER TABLE 1244 00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:41,833 AND PRETEND THAT BAD THINGS DON'T HAPPEN. 1245 00:49:43,867 --> 00:49:45,800 BECAUSE WHEN YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT THEM.... 1246 00:49:48,133 --> 00:49:50,533 THEY GET WORSE, WARREN. 1247 00:49:55,067 --> 00:49:57,100 LET'S GO. 1248 00:50:20,933 --> 00:50:23,533 JENNIFER? 1249 00:50:23,567 --> 00:50:25,867 CAN YOU HANG ON A SEC? 1250 00:50:30,733 --> 00:50:32,500 HEY. 1251 00:50:32,533 --> 00:50:33,800 JENNIFER, I DON'T-- 1252 00:50:33,833 --> 00:50:36,933 I DON'T UNDERSTAND HERE. 1253 00:50:36,967 --> 00:50:39,600 ARE YOU TRYING TO PUNISH ME? 1254 00:50:39,633 --> 00:50:41,867 NO... 1255 00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:57,567 I'M GRATEFUL TO YOU. 1256 00:50:57,600 --> 00:51:01,333 YOU DID A GOOD JOB WITH ME, 1257 00:51:01,367 --> 00:51:04,067 AND I'M NOT TRYING TO PUNISH YOU. 1258 00:51:08,500 --> 00:51:09,933 IS THIS BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED 1259 00:51:09,967 --> 00:51:15,467 WHEN YOU WERE A LITTLE GIRL? 1260 00:51:15,500 --> 00:51:19,567 IS THAT WHY YOU TURNED OUT THIS WAY? 1261 00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:29,100 WHY DIDN'T YOU PROTECT ME? 1262 00:51:29,133 --> 00:51:31,100 OH... 1263 00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:36,533 THERE... 1264 00:51:36,567 --> 00:51:37,900 THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO 1265 00:51:37,933 --> 00:51:42,967 TO CHANGE WHAT HAPPENED. 1266 00:51:43,067 --> 00:51:44,167 I KNOW-- 1267 00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:45,433 MOM, YOU COULD HAVE COMFORTED ME. 1268 00:51:45,467 --> 00:51:49,433 YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT IT WASN'T MY FAULT. 1269 00:51:52,467 --> 00:51:55,067 OH, I'M SO SORRY. 1270 00:51:57,300 --> 00:51:58,967 I'M SORRY. 1271 00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:05,067 THANK YOU. 1272 00:52:06,933 --> 00:52:08,433 THANK YOU FOR WHAT? 1273 00:52:08,467 --> 00:52:12,400 BECAUSE... 1274 00:52:12,433 --> 00:52:15,067 IT'S THE FIRST TIME THAT YOU'VE EVER ACKNOWLEDGED 1275 00:52:15,067 --> 00:52:17,633 WHAT HAPPENED TO ME. 1276 00:52:19,067 --> 00:52:20,300 I HAVE TO GO. 1277 00:52:20,333 --> 00:52:22,533 [SNIFFLES] 1278 00:52:22,567 --> 00:52:24,067 BYE. 1279 00:52:24,067 --> 00:52:26,767 [***] 1280 00:53:16,100 --> 00:53:17,867 WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? 1281 00:53:35,133 --> 00:53:40,067 HAVE YOU NOTICED ANY CHANGES IN YOUR HAIR OR SKIN? 1282 00:53:40,067 --> 00:53:43,067 OH, MY SKIN, DEFINITELY. 1283 00:53:43,067 --> 00:53:45,433 IT'S BLOTCHY. 1284 00:53:45,467 --> 00:53:47,233 IT USED TO BE LIKE SILK. 1285 00:53:47,267 --> 00:53:48,467 AND YOU ALREADY SAID 1286 00:53:48,500 --> 00:53:50,667 THAT YOU'VE BEEN EXPERIENCING MOOD SWINGS, 1287 00:53:50,700 --> 00:53:52,167 LOSS OF ENERGY. 1288 00:53:52,200 --> 00:53:54,333 OH, DAVID, DO NOT FUCKING PROTECT ME. 1289 00:53:54,367 --> 00:53:55,800 PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IT IS. 1290 00:53:55,833 --> 00:53:58,133 YOU KNOW, I'D RATHER KNOW WHAT IT IS. 1291 00:53:58,167 --> 00:54:00,400 I WANT TO KNOW SO I CAN DEAL WITH IT. 1292 00:54:00,433 --> 00:54:02,733 MOM, I JUST NEED TO ASK YOU A FEW MORE QUESTIONS. 1293 00:54:02,767 --> 00:54:07,367 NOW, ARE YOU HAVING ANY MEMORY PROBLEMS? 1294 00:54:07,400 --> 00:54:09,933 EXCUSE ME, I'M SORRY, I FORGOT THE QUESTION. 1295 00:54:12,100 --> 00:54:14,300 LOOK, WHAT ABOUT, UH... 1296 00:54:14,333 --> 00:54:15,433 YOU KNOW, VAGINAL DRYNESS? 1297 00:54:15,467 --> 00:54:16,467 WHAT? 1298 00:54:16,500 --> 00:54:17,900 I'M SORRY, MOM, 1299 00:54:17,933 --> 00:54:20,067 BUT IT'S IMPORTANT THAT I ASCERTAIN THESE THINGS. 1300 00:54:20,100 --> 00:54:21,567 NO, NO, NO, WE DO NOT GO THERE. 1301 00:54:21,600 --> 00:54:22,600 I AM YOUR MOTHER, 1302 00:54:22,633 --> 00:54:24,733 AND YOU ARE MY SON, 1303 00:54:24,767 --> 00:54:26,600 AND MY PUNAANY, DRY OR NOT DRY, 1304 00:54:26,633 --> 00:54:30,433 IS SOMETHING WE DO NOT DISCUSS. 1305 00:54:30,467 --> 00:54:32,067 I HAVE A FRIEND IN ENGLAND, 1306 00:54:32,100 --> 00:54:33,733 AND HER DAUGHTER CALLS IT "FRONT BOTTOM." 1307 00:54:33,767 --> 00:54:35,400 FRONT BOTTOM? 1308 00:54:35,433 --> 00:54:37,367 HMM, THAT'S TWISTED. 1309 00:54:37,400 --> 00:54:38,700 I HAD A GIRLFRIEND ONCE-- 1310 00:54:38,733 --> 00:54:40,400 YES, REMEMBER WHEN I HAD A GIRLFRIEND-- 1311 00:54:40,433 --> 00:54:42,233 NO, BUT SHE CALLED IT HER PRETTY PINK PEARL, 1312 00:54:42,267 --> 00:54:44,200 P.P.P. 1313 00:54:44,233 --> 00:54:45,533 NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH HER PEE PEE. 1314 00:54:47,067 --> 00:54:48,067 YOU KNOW WHAT'S REALLY LOVELY? 1315 00:54:49,100 --> 00:54:50,500 YONI. 1316 00:54:50,533 --> 00:54:51,767 EW! OH, GOD... 1317 00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:53,567 IT'S SANSKRIT. 1318 00:54:53,600 --> 00:54:56,067 NO, NO, I LIKE, LIKE, A NON-SANSKRIT TRASHY THING, 1319 00:54:56,067 --> 00:54:57,333 LIKE, TONGUE TRAP. 1320 00:54:57,367 --> 00:54:58,600 YEAH. 1321 00:54:58,633 --> 00:55:00,833 OR A, UH, BALD MAN IN A BOAT. 1322 00:55:00,867 --> 00:55:02,133 [LAUGHING] 1323 00:55:02,167 --> 00:55:03,667 BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS. 1324 00:55:03,700 --> 00:55:04,800 THAT'S GOOD. 1325 00:55:04,833 --> 00:55:05,967 MUNCHBOX. 1326 00:55:06,067 --> 00:55:07,133 WEE WEE. 1327 00:55:07,167 --> 00:55:08,133 HA-HA. HOO-HOO. 1328 00:55:08,167 --> 00:55:08,767 MIMI. 1329 00:55:10,167 --> 00:55:11,467 [SHANE]: FUCK HOLE. 1330 00:55:11,500 --> 00:55:12,467 [CARMEN]: WHAT ELSE? 1331 00:55:12,500 --> 00:55:14,133 CALCUNTA. 1332 00:55:14,167 --> 00:55:17,333 [GIRLS GIGGLING MADLY] 1333 00:55:17,367 --> 00:55:18,633 HEY, KIT... 1334 00:55:18,667 --> 00:55:20,933 WHAT'S WRONG? 1335 00:55:20,967 --> 00:55:22,467 WHAT'S GOING ON? 1336 00:55:22,500 --> 00:55:23,833 I JUST FOUND OUT I'VE GOT MENOPAUSE. 1337 00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:26,567 OH, KIT... 1338 00:55:26,600 --> 00:55:27,800 AW... 1339 00:55:27,833 --> 00:55:29,133 OOH... 1340 00:55:29,167 --> 00:55:30,133 OH, IT'S OKAY. 1341 00:55:30,167 --> 00:55:31,500 NO MORE PERIODS. 1342 00:55:31,533 --> 00:55:32,800 YEAH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO 1343 00:55:32,833 --> 00:55:34,133 TAKE CARRIE TO THE PROM ANYMORE. 1344 00:55:35,467 --> 00:55:36,933 NO MORE MOOD SWINGS... 1345 00:55:36,967 --> 00:55:38,733 EVENTUALLY. 1346 00:55:38,767 --> 00:55:40,300 NO MORE TAMPONS OR PADS. 1347 00:55:40,333 --> 00:55:41,233 NO MORE MIDOL OR EXCEDRIN, OR TYLENOL 1348 00:55:41,267 --> 00:55:42,367 OR ANY OF THAT STUFF. 1349 00:55:42,400 --> 00:55:44,467 YEAH, BUT ONCE THE MONKEY GOES SOUTH, 1350 00:55:44,500 --> 00:55:45,400 THAT'S THE END OF IT. 1351 00:55:45,433 --> 00:55:46,633 NO, KIT, THAT'S NOT TRUE. 1352 00:55:46,667 --> 00:55:48,067 THERE ARE A LOT OF MENOPAUSAL WOMEN 1353 00:55:48,100 --> 00:55:50,500 WHO ARE VERY SEXUALLY ACTIVE. 1354 00:55:50,533 --> 00:55:52,167 YEAH, IT'S TRUE. YOU CAN STILL GET IT ON. 1355 00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:53,600 YOU ARE STILL GOING TO BE 1356 00:55:53,633 --> 00:55:56,067 DOING THE HANKY PANKY TILL THE COWS COME HOME, OKAY? 1357 00:55:56,067 --> 00:55:57,900 SO GET YOURSELF A LITTLE... 1358 00:55:57,933 --> 00:55:59,367 HOT BEEF INJECTION TONIGHT AND FEEL BETTER. 1359 00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:01,067 YOU COULD DIP THE CHIP. 1360 00:56:01,067 --> 00:56:03,200 BANG THE BOX. SWEEP OUT YOUR CHIMNEY. 1361 00:56:03,233 --> 00:56:04,667 AH, YOU COULD STRETCH THAT LEATHER. 1362 00:56:04,700 --> 00:56:05,700 BUMP THE UGLIES. 1363 00:56:05,733 --> 00:56:06,867 DIP AND DIVE. 1364 00:56:06,900 --> 00:56:08,700 YOU CAN SHAKE THE SHEETS. 1365 00:56:08,733 --> 00:56:10,400 OH, CRACK THE NUT. 1366 00:56:10,433 --> 00:56:12,133 GIVE SOME SKANK ON THE HANG-LOW. 1367 00:56:12,167 --> 00:56:14,433 [ALL]: OH! 1368 00:56:14,467 --> 00:56:16,767 RIDE THE BALONEY PONY. 1369 00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:18,367 GIVE THAT DOG A BONE. 1370 00:56:18,400 --> 00:56:20,067 THERE YOU GO, KIT, YEAH. 1371 00:56:20,067 --> 00:56:21,667 SHUCK THE OYSTER, BABY. 1372 00:56:21,700 --> 00:56:26,567 OKAY, UM, PUT SOME BEEF IN YO' TACO! 1373 00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:28,433 RIDE THAT BEEF BUS TO TUNA TOWN. 1374 00:56:28,467 --> 00:56:30,100 [ALL GROANING] 1375 00:56:30,133 --> 00:56:32,667 THAT WAS SO SEXY. I'M SO GLAD YOU SAID THAT. 1376 00:56:32,700 --> 00:56:34,867 THE LIPS BETWEEN THE HIPS. 1377 00:56:34,900 --> 00:56:35,500 FURRY MONKEY. 1378 00:56:35,533 --> 00:56:36,233 SMURF CREASE. 1379 00:56:36,267 --> 00:56:37,067 BEARDED OYSTER. 1380 00:56:37,100 --> 00:56:37,933 BIKINI BISCUIT. 1381 00:56:37,967 --> 00:56:38,800 COOTER. 1382 00:56:38,833 --> 00:56:40,967 AND, UH, CHERRY PIE. 1383 00:56:41,067 --> 00:56:41,700 CAT FLAPS. 1384 00:56:41,733 --> 00:56:43,133 WHAT ABOUT CHA-CHA? 1385 00:56:43,167 --> 00:56:46,067 HAIRY GOBLET. MM. 1386 00:56:46,100 --> 00:56:47,600 THE GRAND CANYON. 1387 00:56:47,633 --> 00:56:50,067 OH, HERE'S ANOTHER ONE. FISH TACO. 1388 00:56:50,067 --> 00:56:51,467 OH, I GOT A GOOD ONE-- CREAM COLLECTOR. 1389 00:56:51,500 --> 00:56:52,533 GOODIE BAG. 1390 00:56:52,567 --> 00:56:55,100 HOW ABOUT THIS ONE? BOX OF ASSORTED CREAMS. 1391 00:56:55,133 --> 00:56:56,633 UH, HONEY PIE. 1392 00:56:56,667 --> 00:56:57,300 DUGOUT. 1393 00:56:57,333 --> 00:56:58,067 LOVE MITTEN? 1394 00:56:58,067 --> 00:56:59,167 MERMAID'S PURSE. 1395 00:56:59,200 --> 00:57:00,733 SKEEKY. SKEEZY. 1396 00:57:00,767 --> 00:57:02,200 I GOT ONE, I GOT ONE-- 1397 00:57:02,233 --> 00:57:04,933 PINK VELVET SAUSAGE WALLET. 1398 00:57:04,967 --> 00:57:05,600 THAT'S ATTRACTIVE. 1399 00:57:05,633 --> 00:57:06,300 NONNY. 1400 00:57:06,333 --> 00:57:06,800 HAM WALLET. 1401 00:57:06,833 --> 00:57:07,333 COOCHIE. 1402 00:57:07,367 --> 00:57:08,100 SWEET SPOT. 1403 00:57:08,133 --> 00:57:08,967 OKAY, I'VE GOT ANOTHER ONE. 1404 00:57:09,067 --> 00:57:09,467 THE POWER SLOT. 1405 00:57:09,500 --> 00:57:10,533 FU-FU VALVE. 1406 00:57:10,567 --> 00:57:11,833 [LAUGHING] 1407 00:57:11,867 --> 00:57:14,300 I KNOW, FU-FU VALVE. WHO WOULD SAY "FU-FU VALVE"? 1408 00:57:14,333 --> 00:57:15,100 PORK SHUTTERS. 1409 00:57:15,133 --> 00:57:15,900 BERMUDA TRIANGLE. 1410 00:57:15,933 --> 00:57:17,067 GRAB HOLE. 1411 00:57:17,100 --> 00:57:18,067 SQUEEGEE? 1412 00:57:18,067 --> 00:57:19,067 VERTICAL SMILE. 1413 00:57:19,067 --> 00:57:19,767 VESSEL TUBE. 1414 00:57:19,800 --> 00:57:20,800 MONKEY'S CHIN. 1415 00:57:20,833 --> 00:57:21,700 CHEWBACCA. 1416 00:57:21,733 --> 00:57:22,933 WHAT ABOUT PANTY HAMSTER? 1417 00:57:22,967 --> 00:57:23,900 ROAST BEEF SANDWICH. 1418 00:57:23,933 --> 00:57:26,200 UH, CAMEL TOE-- OH, THAT'S SO GENERIC.