PREVIOUSLY ON THE L WORD...
WE INSTALL A CHAIR FOR YOU OVER HERE, JUST ONE CHAIR,
BECAUSE I WANT PEOPLE LINING UP
TO GET ON YOUR SCHEDULE.
CHECK IT OUT.
SHANE FOR WAX.
27? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
THAT'S THE NUMBER OF TIMES
THAT YOU MENTIONED DANA.
WHAT DID I TELL YOU, I'M PRACTICALLY OVER HER.
THE N.E.A. JUST PULLED THEIR FUNDING.
ARE YOU GOING TO LOSE YOUR STIPEND?
I DON'T KNOW, PROBABLY.
SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE THAT YOU KNOW AND TRUST.
SOMEBODY FROM YOUR PAST.
HELENA PEABODY OFFERED ME A JOB.
ARE YOU CONSIDERING IT?
SHE MADE IT VERY ATTRACTIVE.
WHO IS THAT?
JENNY'S GIRLFRIEND?
YOU GIRLS JUST RELAX
AND LET US BUTCHES UNLOAD THE TRUCK.
COME ON, SHANE.
UH, ANGUS PARTRIDGE.
I'M HER MANNY.
HE IS ONE CUTE MANNY.
IT'S A BENIGN SOLID LUMP.
WE'RE GOING TO DO A BIOPSY.
HOW MUCH IS THAT?
$14, MA'AM.
I'LL JUST HAVE A SALAD AND A SIDE OF FRIES.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
THEY'RE YOUR FRIENDS.
YOU KNOW, I DON'T REALLY FIT IN.
LIVING YOUR LIFE AGAINST GOD'S WILL
IS LIKE THROWING YOURSELF INTO THE ETERNAL FIRE
OF HELL'S DAMNATION.
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT, SISTER?
I'M A FORMER HOMOSEXUAL WHO FOUND JESUS.
HAVE FAITH.
THIS USED TO BE AS HARD FOR ME AS IT IS FOR YOU,
UNTIL I WAS SAVED.
BUT ISN'T THIS WORSE?
JESUS HATES THE SIN BETWEEN TWO MEN
MUCH MORE THAN THAT BETWEEN TWO WOMEN.
IT'S BETTER THAN HELL'S FIRE.
I PROMISE YOU.
[***]
* GIRLS IN TIGHT DRESSES WHO DRAG WITH MUSTACHES *
* CHICKS DRIVING FAST INGENUES WITH LONG LASHES *
* WOMEN WHO LONG, LOVE, LUST WOMEN WHO GIVE *
* THIS IS THE WAY IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE *
* TALKING, LAUGHING LOVING, BREATHING *
* FIGHTING, FUCKING CRYING, DRINKING *
* WRITING, WINNING LOSING, CHEATING *
* KISSING, THINKING, DREAMING
* THIS IS THE WAY...
* IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE *
* IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE
* AND LOVE *
I HOPE YOU BACKED THAT UP ON YOUR HARD DRIVE.
WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?
I WAS HANGING OUT AT THE BEACH.
LOOK, I WAS JUST, LIKE, SLEEPING IN MY TRUCK,
YOU KNOW, TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT I'M DOING HERE IN L.A.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE IN L.A.?
I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING ANYWHERE.
YEAH.
I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE--
YOU KNOW WHAT?
NOBODY KNOWS WHO THEY ARE.
YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT.
YOU WALK THROUGH LIFE, AND YOU TRY TO FIGURE IT OUT,
AND YOU PROBABLY WON'T FIGURE IT OUT.
IT SEEMS LIKE YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
ABSOLUTELY.
I'M, LIKE, THE PICTURE
OF TOGETHERNESS AND SANITY.
YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A WRITER,
AND I'M THIS FUCKING LOSER
THAT CAN'T EVEN GET A PUBLISHER TO CALL THEM BACK
ABOUT A STUPID MANUSCRIPT.
WHO CARES?
YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET PUBLISHED TO BE A GOOD WRITER.
OKAY,
SO WHEN I SERVE YOU YOUR CUP OF COFFEE,
YOU REMIND ME THAT.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I'M GOING TO BE A WAITRESS AT THE PLANET.
YOU GOT A JOB AT THE PLANET?
I DID. IT'S SO AWESOME.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WELL, MAYBE IT'LL JUST GIVE YOU
MORE MATERIAL FOR YOUR BOOKS.
[LAUGHING]
[SPLASHING]
WHOO!
SPLASHIE!
AND SPLASH...
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WE ARE COOLING OUR TOOTIES.
I HAVE A MEETING IN 40 MINUTES.
AND I HAVEN'T EVEN FED HER YET.
I HAVEN'T EVEN SET UP THE PUMP.
I'M SURE THEY'LL HOLD THE MEETING FOR YOU.
YOU'RE THE BOSS NOW, AREN'T YOU?
THAT MIGHT BE HOW YOU TREATED YOUR SUBORDINATES,
BUT I DON'T LIKE TO KEEP PEOPLE WAITING.
[QUIETLY]: WELL, I NEVER CALL MY COLLEAGUES MY SUBORDINATES,
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, YOUR MAMA T IS A LITTLE STRESSED RIGHT NOW.
SHE HAS HER VERY FIRST BIG STAFF MEETING.
I DON'T EVEN HAVE TIME TO PUMP NOW.
I'LL JUST--
I'LL JUST DO IT LATER.
CAN YOU PICK UP MY DRY CLEANING, PLEASE?
[QUIETLY]: AND NOW SHE THINKS
THAT JUST BECAUSE, FOR THIS ONCE,
SHE'S THE ONE TO BRING HOME THE BACON,
THAT WE SHOULD JUMP THROUGH BURNING HOOPS.
[GURGLES]
I KNOW. I FEEL THE SAME WAY.
[***]
[OVERLAPPING CONVERSATIONS]
WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR SOME GOOD NEWS, DJ SUGAR?
I WOULD. WHAT IS IT?
I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH PAUL ERETT,
AND HE HEARD YOU DJ AT VULVA, LAS VEGAS,
AND HE WANTS YOU FOR HIS VIP AFTERPARTY
FOR RUSSELL SIMMONS AND HIS NEW BAND,
BLACK BUDDAFLY.
HOLY SHIT!
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
NO, NO, I'M NOT KIDDING.
OH, MY GOD, KIT!
OH, MY GOD, COME HERE!
THIS IS HUGE!
WAIT, THIS IS FANTASTIC.
OH, MY GOD, WHEN ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO THIS?
TOMORROW NIGHT AT THE ABBEY
AT 9:00.
[SHANE]: TOMORROW?
I CAN'T.
I CAN'T DO IT.
IT'S YOUR OPENING.
OH! NO, NO, DON'T EVEN...
I AM SO SORRY.
GIRL, COME ON, LOOK.
LOOK, THERE ARE GOING TO BE A LOT OF OTHER PARTIES, OKAY?
THERE ARE GOING TO BE A LOT OF OTHER PARTIES.
DON'T WORRY, OKAY?
THERE'S GOING TO BE A LOT OF OTHER PARTIES
IN LOS ANGELES WITH RUSSELL SIMMONS?
SURE THERE WILL.
OKAY, NOW, YOU THINK ABOUT IT AND LET ME KNOW.
CALL ME, OKAY?
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
COME ON, THIS IS A HUGE THING.
DON'T GIVE IT UP FOR WAX.
WELCOME BACK TO THE 2006 MERCEDES-BENZ CHALLENGE.
I'M BILLIE JEAN KING,
SITTING WITH DANA FAIRBANKS,
WHO JUST WON HER MATCH
AGAINST DANIELLA AZOULAY.
DANA, CONGRATULATIONS.
IT'S SO GREAT TO SEE YOU BACK ON THE COURT.
THANKS.
WHAT A COMEBACK STORY.
BUT, I JUST, I FEEL REALLY GOOD, YOU KNOW.
I FEEL LIKE I'M GETTING MY GAME BACK.
YOU KNOW, AS A PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE,
TO COME OUT AS A LESBIAN IS REALLY A BIG RISK.
DO YOU GET TIRED OF PEOPLE ASKING YOU
ABOUT YOUR SEXUALITY ALL THE TIME?
NO.
I MEAN, NOT ANYMORE.
IT WAS EASIER, THANKS TO YOU.
YOU KNOW.
YOU REALLY... YOU PAVED THE WAY.
I'M SORRY, YOU'RE MY HERO.
I JUST HAVE TO SAY THAT.
THAT'S SO EMBARRASSING. NO, IT'S TRUE.
ISN'T HE CUTE?
I MEAN THAT IN SORT OF AN INDIE, EDGY,
VEGAN KIND OF WAY.
OH, MY GOD, I WONDER IF HE ACTUALLY IS A VEGAN,
BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT VEGANS--
THEIR CUM TASTES REALLY SWEET.
I MEAN, NOT THAT I'D EVER SWALLOW.
I'M A...
[SPITS]
SPITTING KIND OF GUY.
HE'S COMPLETELY UNQUALIFIED.
I MEAN, IT'S RIDICULOUS.
IT'S GOING TO HURT YOUR BUSINESS.
BILLIE'S JUST TRYING TO GIVE HIM A CHANCE.
BILLIE JUST WANTS TO KNOW WHAT HE EATS.
OKAY, DARLING,
I DO NOT NEED TO GIVE PEOPLE JOBS
TO FIND OUT ABOUT THEIR CULINARY HABITS,
AND TALKING OF WHICH,
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU ATE OUT?
[CELLPHONE RINGS]
OOH, SAVED BY THE BELL.
HELLO?
PLEASE TELL ME
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO FUCK HIM.
I DO NOT NEED A LAWSUIT.
I AM NOT GOING TO FUCK HIM.
I DON'T EVEN WANT TO FUCK HIM.
HIS BEAUTY HOLDS NO MYSTERY FOR ME.
[BETTE]: OH, MY GOD. WHEN?
[BILLIE]: HE, ON THE OTHER HAND,
IS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT MATTER.
WHO IS THAT?
I DON'T REALLY FEEL LIKE I SHOULD HANG OUT HERE
WHILE YOU'RE WORKING, YOU KNOW?
NO, IT'S FINE.
IT'S FINE.
THESE PEOPLE ARE MY FRIENDS.
WE HANG OUT HERE ALL THE TIME.
JULIA LOURD IS IN THE HOSPITAL.
I'VE GOT TO GO SEE HER.
DO YOU WANT ME TO KEEP THE BABY?
NO, I'M GOING TO SEE IF ANGUS IS AVAILABLE.
SHE WANTS ME TO FILL IN FOR HER.
SHE'S SUPPOSED TO TESTIFY AT A SENATE HEARING
IN WASHINGTON TOMORROW
ABOUT THE DISBURSEMENT OF N.E.A. GRANTS, AND...
SO YOU'RE GOING TO WASHINGTON?
I MIGHT.
I DON'T KNOW.
OKAY, SEE YOU.
[SMACKS KISSES AT BABY]
HEY...
HELLO.
IS IT OKAY IF MOIRA HANGS OUT HERE
WHILE I START MY SHIFT?
YEAH.
YEAH, OF COURSE.
HELLO.
MOIRA...
IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.
YOU TOO.
ARE YOU NEW TO HELL A?
YEAH.
ACTUALLY, SHE'S LOOKING FOR A JOB,
IF YOU KNOW OF ANYTHING.
SHE'S AN I.T. SPECIALIST.
OOH, AS IN, "WE CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN?"
YEAH.
LIKE THAT.
LOVELY.
"THE EVOLUTION OF THE LITTLE BLACK DRESS?"
SOUNDS LIKE A BLURB FOR VOGUE.
WELL, I WAS THINKING
IT WOULD BE A NICE CHANGE TO DO A PIECE ON FASHION.
YOU KNOW?
AND I WOULDN'T EVEN BE TEMPTED TO BRING UP DANA
BECAUSE SHE HAS THE WORST FASHION SENSE EVER.
SHE REALLY DOES.
SHE'S THE WORST DRESSER. I MEAN, BEFORE I MET HER,
SHE USED TO WEAR THE PADS IN THE SHOULDERS--
ALICE.
YEAH.
UM, I COULD DO THAT, OR I COULD DO A PIECE ON, UH...
THE EVOLUTION OF THE PANTSUIT--
WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THE CHART?
SEE, NONE OF THESE IDEAS
HAVE ANYTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH THE CHART.
MY LAST IDEA.
WHAT DID YOU THINK OF MY LAST IDEA?
YOU WANT TO READ A CHILDREN'S BOOK ON AIR?
I DON'T GET IT.
OKAY, "IF YOU GIVE A PIG A PANCAKE."
IT'S MY EARTH DAUGHTER ANGELICA'S
FAVORITE PICTURE BOOK,
BUT IT'S ALL ABOUT INTER-CONNECTIVITY,
BECAUSE IF YOU DO GIVE A PIG A PANCAKE,
AND SHE WANTS SYRUP TO GO WITH IT,
IT LEADS HER TO THE BATH, YOU KNOW,
BECAUSE SHE'S STICKY,
AND THAT LEADS HER TO BUBBLES, WHICH...
AND, THEN, THE RUBBER DUCKIE,
AND, UM, A TRIP TO THE FARM.
ANYWAY, IF YOU SEE WHERE IT'S HEADED,
IT'S KIND OF A...
I'M GOING TO HAVE A LOT MORE IDEAS TOMORROW, THOUGH,
AND I'M--
WE'RE GOING TO NAIL THIS THING.
IT'S GOING TO BE FINE.
IF YOU GIVE A PIG A FUCKING PANCAKE.
UM...
I'M HAVING A LITTLE PARTY AT MY PLACE TONIGHT.
YEAH?
MM-HMM. YOU SHOULD COME.
OH, THAT'S COOL.
I DON'T KNOW.
JUST A FEW FRIENDS, YOU KNOW.
PEOPLE LIKE US.
SOME PEOPLE WHO'VE, UH...
CHANGED THEIR BODIES TO MATCH UP TO THEIR BRAINS,
AND A FEW WHO'VE CHANGED THEIR BRAINS
TO MATCH UP TO THEIR BODIES.
YOU SHOULD BRING JENNY AND COME ALONG.
WELL, I'M NOT REALLY SURE I KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
DON'T WORRY, HANDSOME, THEY'RE GOOD PEOPLE.
YOU'LL HAVE FUN.
WELL, JULIA SAID YOU WOULD TRY TO GET ME IN
TO SEE THE SENATOR TOMORROW BEFORE THE HEARING.
WELL, IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, IT DOESN'T HAPPEN,
BUT I THINK IT'S WORTH A TRY.
OKAY, GREAT. THANKS, IRIS.
WHAT'S ANGUS DOING HERE?
I CALLED HIM BECAUSE I KNEW THAT YOU WERE GOING OUT TONIGHT.
WHY ARE YOU PACKING?
I'M GOING TO WASHINGTON.
WHAT?
JULIA WAS SUPPOSED TO TESTIFY
AT THE SENATE HEARING,
BUT SHE HURT HER BACK...
SURFING.
COULDN'T YOU HAVE AT LEAST CALLED ME?
I TRIED TO GET AHOLD OF YOU ALL DAY.
THIS IS THE THIRD NIGHT IN A ROW
SHE'S BEEN BABYSAT.
I THOUGHT WE WEREN'T GOING TO DO THIS TO HER.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
I MEAN, IS THERE ANY WAY YOU CAN RESCHEDULE YOUR DINNER?
IT'S NOT A DINNER.
IT'S A SCREENING OF A DOCUMENTARY
THAT HELENA AND I ARE INTERESTED IN FINANCING.
CAN'T YOU AT LEAST GO IN THE MORNING?
IT'S A SENATE HEARING, TINA.
I DON'T THINK THEY'LL RESCHEDULE
BECAUSE WE PROMISED
NOT TO DO A BABYSITTER THREE NIGHTS IN A ROW.
WHEN I TOOK THIS JOB,
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU WOULD TAKE CARE OF THINGS AT HOME.
YOU SAID THAT YOU WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPY
TO DO ALL THE THINGS FOR ME
THAT I DID FOR YOU WHEN YOU WORKED AT THE C.A.C.
YEAH, AND I AM.
I MEAN, DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON, TINA?
I MEAN, WE HAVE TO FIGHT
TO PRESERVE GOVERNMENT SUPPORT OF THE ARTS.
PBS IS UP FOR GRABS, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.
AND WHILE I'M WORKING, I'D LIKE TO KNOW
THAT MY DAUGHTER IS AT HOME WITH HER MOTHER.
OTHERWISE, I CAN'T DO IT, BETTE.
THEN DON'T.
REALLY. DON'T.
ARE YOU GETTING PAID FOR THIS?
I'M SORRY.
I HAVE TO CATCH A REDEYE TONIGHT.
I'M TRYING TO MEET WITH BARBARA GRISHAM
TOMORROW BEFORE THE HEARING.
SENATOR GRISHAM?
THE DYKE FROM MASSACHUSETTS?
I DON'T THINK SHE'S A DYKE.
SHE'S FAMOUSLY MARRIED TO SOME SOFTWARE BILLIONAIRE.
OH, RIGHT. AND...
YEAH, AND I THINK IT'S A LITTLE JUVENILE
THAT LESBIANS ASSUME THAT EVERY STRONG, OUTSPOKEN WOMAN
IS AUTOMATICALLY A DYKE.
OKAY, WHATEVER.
DAMN. I THINK SHE'S HOT.
I USED TO. NOW I THINK SHE'S JUST POWER HUNGRY.
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT MAKES HER SO HOT.
DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHEN SHE TORE CLINTON A NEW ASSHOLE
OVER THE DEFENSE OF MARRIAGE ACT?
SHE AND KERRY WERE THE ONLY POWER DEMOCRATS
WHO STOOD BY US.
I WISH YOU WERE COMING WITH ME.
YEAH, I DO, TOO.
GOD, THAT'S SO COOL.
I LOVE THAT STUFF.
I CAN'T.
I HAVE SO MUCH WORK TO DO.
I'M IN OVER MY HEAD.
[SIGHS IN EXASPERATION]
I'VE GOT TO BE AT THIS SCREENING IN 20 MINUTES.
I LOVE THIS JOB.
I'LL MISS YOU.
DO YOU REALIZE THIS IS THE FIRST TIME
YOU'VE SPENT A NIGHT AWAY FROM ANGELICA, EVER?
I'LL MISS YOU.
JESUS CHRIST...
HONEY, DON'T DO THIS.
IT'S NOT YOUR MESS.
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
SOMEONE'S GOT TO DO IT,
AND THE PERSON WHO MADE THIS MESS
CLEARLY HAS NO INTENTION OF DOING IT.
THIS IS DISGUSTING.
I THINK YOU SHOULD DJ RUSSELL SIMMONS' PARTY.
SO IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER TO YOU AT ALL
WHETHER OR NOT I'M AT YOUR OPENING?
HONESTLY, IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL TO ME.
UM...OKAY.
WHOA, WAIT.
CARMEN, COME ON.
DON'T TAKE IT THAT WAY.
YOU KNOW I WANT YOU TO BE THERE.
YEAH.
AND I KNOW THAT'S SOMETHING
YOU'VE BEEN WORKING REALLY HARD AT.
RIGHT?
MM-HMM. OKAY.
THANK YOU.
[LOW CONVERSATIONS, OVERLAPPING]
THAT WAS AMAZING.
THAT WAS REALLY... TENSE.
SO UPSETTING.
THE BIO...
WE HAVE TO MEET THE FILMMAKER.
IS THAT HER?
SHE'S BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T SHE?
IT'S PRETTY SELF-EXPLANATORY.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
DYLAN, HI.
I'M TINA KENNARD FROM PEABODY/SHAOLIN.
HI.
THAT WAS A REALLY POWERFUL PIECE OF FILMMAKING.
WELL, I HEARD YOU MIGHT BE COMING.
I'M REALLY, REALLY GLAD THAT YOU MADE IT.
THIS IS HELENA PEABODY.
DYLAN, WE DON'T NORMALLY DO DOCUMENTARIES,
BUT I'D REALLY LOVE TO SIT DOWN AND TALK WITH YOU ABOUT THIS.
WELL, YOU KNOW, WE'RE LOOKING FOR 10 INVESTORS EACH
TO COME IN AT $10,000 APIECE,
AND IF YOU--
IF YOU READ THE PROSPECTUS--
WELL, I ASSUME YOU'D ACCEPT IT ALL
FROM ONE SINGLE INVESTOR.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
CALL ME, AND WE WILL SET UP A MEETING.
TO DISCUSS
WHETHER $100,000 IS REALLY ENOUGH,
OR MAYBE WE SHOULD THINK ABOUT
INCREASING YOUR BUDGET.
WHAT ARE YOU,
SOME KIND OF AN ANGEL OR SOMETHING?
NO, I'M JUST...
I'M REALLY IN AWE OF WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO HERE,
AND...
I'M LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE IN A POSITION TO HELP YOU.
COULD YOU JUST WAIT...
JUST WAIT HERE FOR A SECOND?
THERE'S SOMEONE I REALLY WANT TO INTRODUCE YOU TO.
SURE.
WHO IS THAT, DO YOU KNOW?
THAT IS DANNY WILSON,
HER PRODUCER,
AND I THINK HER BOYFRIEND.
AH...
I THINK I'LL TRY AND PUT HER DOWN.
OKAY, AND I'M GOING TO LET YOU, TOO,
BECAUSE SHE'LL GO DOWN QUICKER FOR YOU
THAN SHE WILL FOR ME.
WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE
SHE LOVES YOUR COMPANY SO MUCH,
SHE CAN'T STAND TO SEE YOU GO,
AND I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY HOW SHE FEELS.
[SIGHS]
WELL, THEN, I'LL SET THE TABLE.
NO, NO, NO, YOU RELAX,
PUT YOUR FEET UP.
THIS IS YOUR NIGHT OFF.
WELL, YOU'VE DONE EVERYTHING ELSE.
PLEASE, JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET BACK.
HMM...
[***]
JENNY AND MOIRA!
SO GLAD YOU COULD COME,
AND YOU, WELCOME HOME.
COME ON IN.
HEY, EVERYBODY!
THESE ARE MY NEW FRIENDS, JENNY AND--
MOIRA, DO YOU GO BY ANY OTHER NAME?
NOT REALLY.
SHE SOMETIMES GOES BY MAX.
MAX, FANTASTIC.
THAT'S A NICE NAME.
COME ON, TOO, MAX.
HEY, EVERYBODY.
THESE ARE MY NEW FRIENDS, JENNY AND, UH, MAX.
SAY HELLO TO TOM, CYNTHIA,
AND, OF COURSE, THE LOVELY GINGER VITUS.
HOW ARE YOU DOING, MAX?
GOOD.
OH, YOU'RE A BAD GIRL.
I KNOW, I'M A BAD GIRL.
I JUST, YOU KNOW, WENT ON AHEAD AND...
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M MOWING THE LAWN.
WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING?
UH, I'M...
I'M ALMOST OLD ENOUGH TO BE YOUR MOTHER.
MY GRANDMOTHER, BUT I DON'T CARE.
UH, WE...
YOU CAN'T DO THIS.
DO YOU MIND TELLING ME WHY?
BECAUSE IT'S NOT RIGHT, AND YOU KNOW IT'S NOT RIGHT.
I DON'T KNOW,
IT FELT REALLY RIGHT TO ME.
WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
YOU'RE A CHILD.
[SIGHS]
A VERY ATTRACTIVE CHILD...
BUT STILL A CHILD.
[LAUGHS RESIGNEDLY]
SO WHAT'S YOUR NOVEL ABOUT, JENNY?
MY NOVEL IS ABOUT SOME BULLSHIT
ABOUT MY CHILDHOOD.
IT'S NOT BULLSHIT, JENNY.
THERE YOU GO.
THANK YOU. OKAY, IT'S--
IT'S GOT THIS AMAZING STORY ABOUT A CARNIVAL.
I'M A SWORD SWALLOWER.
I HAVE A VERY, VERY DEEP THROAT.
[CHUCKLES]
TOM'S A WRITER, TOO.
[JENNY]: WHAT KIND OF STUFF DO YOU WRITE?
NON-FICTION, MOSTLY.
I WRITE FOR GO MAGAZINE, BITCH MAGAZINE,
AND I DO MY OWN LITTLE 'ZINE,
BOI WORLD,
AND I'M SORT OF, KIND OF, WORKING ON A SCREENPLAY.
OH, GOD.
LIKE EVERYBODY IN HELL A.
NO, NOT ME.
I DON'T DO IT.
I DON'T WANT TO EVER WRITE A SCREENPLAY.
I JUST WANT TO WRITE FICTION.
GOOD FOR YOU.
WHAT'S YOUR SCREENPLAY ABOUT?
THE LIFE, A GIRL WHO BECOMES A BOY.
WHAT HE GOES THROUGH.
YOU KNOW, SMALL TOWN,
REALIZING HE'S REALLY NOT A SHE.
YOU KNOW, GIRLFRIENDS, FAMILY SHIT, T, TOP SURGERY.
WHAT'S TOP SURGERY?
A BILATERAL MASTECTOMY?
YOU KNOW, SIMILAR
TO WHAT A CANCER PATIENT WOULD UNDERGO.
EXCEPT THAT THE NIPPLES ARE RE-ATTACHED,
AND THE CHEST IS RECONSTRUCTED
WITH MALE CONTOURS.
SO IT'S ABOUT YOUR LIFE?
OR MAYBE IT'S ABOUT YOURS, MAX, HUH?
ONLY, YOU KNOW,
IF I'M PRESUMING ANYTHING,
JUST PLEASE TELL ME TO SHUT UP.
NO, I MEAN,
I'VE DEFINITELY THOUGHT ABOUT IT.
WHEN DID YOU THINK ABOUT IT?
UM, SINCE I WAS A KID.
AND HOW COME
YOU NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT IT?
I DON'T KNOW.
IT JUST NEVER--
IT JUST DIDN'T REALLY SEEM LIKE
SOMETHING THAT YOU TALKED ABOUT, YOU KNOW?
AW, YOU CAN TALK ABOUT IT, DARLING.
YOU HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT.
[MAN]: HEY, BILLIE!
LET'S SEE... LENI RIEFENSTAHL,
DEMI MOORE, SUSAN SARANDON,
JOAN COLLINS,
MARY KAY LETOURNEAU,
FRAN DRESCHER...
WHO'S MARY KAY LETOURNEAU?
THE SCHOOLTEACHER WHO HAD THE AFFAIR
WITH THE 13-YEAR-OLD STUDENT.
OH, GREAT, SHE WENT TO JAIL.
YES, BUT SHE'S OUT NOW,
AND SHE AND VILI ARE MARRIED
WITH, LIKE, THREE KIDS.
NO WAY.
WAY.
IT IS A HAPPY ENDING,
AND I WILL WAIT FOR YOU WHILE YOU'RE IN JAIL.
I THINK IT'S MEANT TO BE, KIT.
WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING ME?
I DON'T THINK YOU REALLY KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE GETTING YOURSELF INTO.
YOU DON'T KNOW ME.
YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME.
I KNOW YOU'RE GORGEOUS.
I KNOW I LIKE YOU A LOT.
I KNOW THAT WHEN YOU SING, IT MAKES--
WHAT'S THE WEIRD THING ON A MAN'S NECK?
AN ADAM'S APPLE.
IT MAKES MY ADAM'S APPLE DO, LIKE, A MEXICAN HAT DANCE.
WELL, DID YOU KNOW THAT I'M AN EX-DRUNK?
I SERVED YOU DINNER WITH LEMON-FLAVORED PELLEGRINO.
LOOK, I KNOW YOU WALKED OUT ON YOUR SON
WHEN HE WAS A BABY.
I KNOW THAT HE GREW UP
AND TURNED INTO SOMEONE YOU DON'T PARTICULARLY CARE FOR,
AND THAT FILLS YOU WITH SADNESS.
I KNOW THAT YOU HAD A HIT RECORD IN 1992,
AND THEN LOST YOURSELF
IN A DOWNWARD SPIRAL OF MEN AND BOOZE,
AND NOW YOU HAVE A THRIVING BUSINESS,
10 NEW SONGS, AND A COUPLE OF COVERS
THAT YOU WANT TO RECORD TO A CD
THAT YOU'RE GOING TO PUT OUT YOURSELF,
AND A BEAUTIFUL NIECE
WHO SQUEALS EVERY TIME YOU WALK IN THE ROOM.
AND I'M GOING THROUGH MENOPAUSE.
HUH...
[***]
WE CAN'T WAIT VERY MUCH LONGER
FOR SENATOR GRISHAM.
MISS LOURD, WE'RE GOING TO GET STARTED.
MY NAME IS BETTE PORTER.
I'M FILLING IN FOR JULIA LOURD.
[REPORTER]: SENATOR GRISHAM,
ANY COMMENTS ON YOUR MEETING WITH THE PRESIDENT THIS MORNING?
DID HE WIN YOU OVER ON SOCIAL SECURITY?
NICE OF YOU TO JOIN US, BARBARA.
MISS LOURD HERE HAS BEEN VERY PATIENT.
UH, MISS-- MS. PORTER.
AMERICA'S SENIOR CITIZENS WILL BE LICKING THEIR WOUNDS
IF THE PRESIDENT GETS HIS WAY,
BUT RIGHT NOW, WE'RE HERE TO DISCUSS HOW MUCH MONEY
WE'RE GOING TO BLEED FROM THE ARTS BUDGET.
THANK YOU.
YO, THANKS FOR THE HELP, GUYS.
HEY, CARMEN,
THAT LOOKS REALLY GOOD ON YOU.
YOU SHOULD TAKE IT.
SHE'S BUMMED.
SHE CAN'T MAKE IT TONIGHT.
WHY? THERE'S GOING TO BE OTHER PARTIES.
I KNOW, THAT'S WHAT I KEEP TELLING HER.
IT'S MELLOW.
WHAT TIME IS IT?
IT'S, LIKE, 1:00.
IT'S WHAT? 1:00.
FUCK. HERE, TAKE-- HEY, CARM!
DANA'S GAME IS ON.
OH.
MM-HMM, MM-HMM, MM-HMM.
ACTUALLY, I JUST WANT TO SIT DOWN AND TALK TO HER.
MM-HMM.
NO, NO, NO, NO, I DON'T WANT TO GET INTO A BIDDING WAR.
OH, CAN YOU HANG ON?
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
[COMMENTATOR #1]: ...HAS REALLY WORKED ON THAT APPROACH.
[COMMENTATOR #2]: SHE'S GOT A GREAT COACH.
[COMMENTATOR #1]: LOOKS LIKE DANA
IS ABOUT TO SERVE.
OH, UM...
SYDNEY, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK.
OKAY.
WHAT'S UP?
HAVE YOU SET THAT MEETING YET?
YOU KNOW, WITH THE DOCUMENTARY FILMMAKER?
UM...
NEXT TUESDAY AT 3:00.
NEXT TUESDAY?
WHY DON'T YOU JUST CALL AND ASK HER OUT?
OH, COME ON, DANA.
WHAT, SHE'S PLAYING?
WOW, I'VE NEVER SEEN HER PLAY.
COME ON, DANA, YOU CAN DO IT.
WHOO! SHE DID IT.
SHE DID IT.
OH, SHE'S PLAYING WELL.
ISN'T SHE PLAYING WELL?
I CAN'T BELIEVE IRWIN ISN'T HERE TO SEE THIS.
HEY, WHERE IS EVERYBODY?
I'M HERE TO HELP!
AL, WE'RE OVER HERE!
DANA'S SERVING HER NEXT POINT. COME HERE!
[COMMENTATOR #2]: HER SERVE
IS DEFINITELY ONE OF HER STRONG POINTS.
GUYS, THIS PLACE IS SO--
SHH! QUIET.
FUCK, IT LOOKS LIKE SHE'S HURTING.
COME ON, DANA, GET UP. LET'S GO.
OH, MY GOD, IS SHE ALL RIGHT?
NO, NO, NO, SHE'S FINE.
SHE JUST LOST HER FOOTING A BIT,
THAT'S ALL.
NO, SHE'S NOT THAT STRONG.
SHE'S PUSHING HERSELF WAY TOO HARD.
YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T KNOW HER VERY WELL.
SHE'S STRONG AS AN OX.
TIME VIOLATION WARNING, MISS FAIRBANKS.
[COMMENTATOR #1]: ...PENALIZED FOR THIS,
WHICH WOULD BE JUST TRAGIC.
OOH! YEAH.
[COMMENTATOR #2]: ...ONCE AGAIN FOR DANA FAIRBANKS.
[COMMENTATOR #1]: EXACTLY,
AND IF SHE NEEDS IT, SHE DIGS DEEP AND FINDS IT.
COME ON, DANA, YOU CAN DO IT. COME ON.
GAME.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
OH, MY GOD, LOOK AT THIS!
[COMMENTATOR #2]: THERE YOU HAVE IT,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
DANA FAIRBANKS
IS THE MERCEDES-BENZ CHALLENGE CHAMPION.
AN ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT PERFORMANCE
IN THE FINAL
FROM A SOMEWHAT-FATIGUED DANA FAIRBANKS.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
I'M-- I'M SORRY. UH...
IN CONCLUSION, I ASK YOU TO REMEMBER
THAT LOOKING AT ART IS AN ACT OF CHOICE,
AND THOSE WHO DON'T WANT TO NEED NOT LOOK,
BUT I DON'T WANT MY CHILD GROWING UP IN A WORLD
THAT DOESN'T GIVE HER THE OPTION.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.
MISS LOURD, MISS PORTER,
WHATEVER YOUR NAME IS.
IS THIS SOMETHING
YOU WANT YOUR CHILD TO HAVE THE OPTION OF SEEING?
SENATOR, YOU'RE TAKING THE PIECE OUT OF CONTEXT.
IT'S A SHOW ABOUT POLITICAL ART,
AND AS SUCH,
IT PRESENTS MANY, MANY POINTS OF VIEW.
TRY TELLING THAT TO THE BOYS AND GIRLS
WHO ARE RISKING THEIR LIVES IN IRAQ.
THIS IS UN-AMERICAN FILTH.
[BETTE]: SENATOR,
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?
UN-AMERICAN?
NOT AS UN-AMERICAN AS WHAT YOU JUST DID.
YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE?
YOU'RE JUST THE LATEST REIGNING, VIGILANTE,
SELF-APPOINTED CULTURAL WATCHDOGS OF THE MOMENT,
DEVOTING COUNTLESS HOURS AND ENVIABLE RESOURCES
TO THIS BOGUS MISSION
OF STIFLING CREATIVE EXPRESSION IN THE NAME OF PATRIOTISM.
MISS PORTER--
AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS, SENATOR?
IT'S A DISTRACTION.
IT IS A WANTON DISTRACTION,
BECAUSE LET'S JUST BE FORTHRIGHT AND HONEST
ABOUT WHAT IS TRULY UNPATRIOTIC.
ABJECT POVERTY IS UNPATRIOTIC.
THE FAILURE OF OUR EDUCATION SYSTEM
IS UNPATRIOTIC.
LIES TOLD BY PRESIDENTS AS JUSTIFICATION FOR WAR--
MISS PORTER--
IS UNPATRIOTIC.
IT IS UNPATRIOTIC
THAT ELECTED LAWMAKERS FAIL TO ACKNOWLEDGE,
LET ALONE ADDRESS, REAL DESPERATION.
[GAVEL BANGS]
THE COMMITTEE IS RECESSED
UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.
[REPORTERS CLAMORING]
THAT WAS RATHER FIERY.
CAN YOU JOIN ME AT A COCKTAIL PARTY TONIGHT?
I HAVE TO GET BACK TO L.A.
YOU'LL MEET PEOPLE
WHO CAN SWING THE VOTE FOR YOU.
IT'S A LIMITED OFFER,
AND NOT ONE I MAKE TO JUST ANYBODY.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
DO NOT TALK ABOUT DANA.
DO NOT EVEN BRING UP ANYTHING THAT RHYMES WITH DANA.
DO NOT TALK ABOUT DANA.
OKAY.
[SONG FADES]
HELLO. WELCOME BACK.
THAT WAS "ALL FIRED UP" BY THE TRA-LA-LAS...
AND... TODAY...
UM...
[RANDOMLY HITS XYLOPHONE]
I'M SURE IN THE WORLD OF CONNECTIVITY, THOUGH,
I WILL COME UP WITH SOMETHING REALLY MEANINGFUL,
REALLY ENTERTAINING.
UM...
I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT TO TALK ABOUT
IF I CAN'T TALK ABOUT DANA.
WAIT A MINUTE.
MY PRODUCER'S TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING.
WHAT, RUTH?
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME?
SOMETHING ABOUT A DICK?
HEAD?
A DICKHEAD?
A DICKHEAD.
OKAY, A DICKHEAD.
A DICKHEAD, UM...
SPEAKING OF DICKHEADS,
WHAT ABOUT GEORGE BUSH?
HE'S A TOTAL DICKHEAD.
AND WHAT ABOUT HIS DICK, YOU KNOW?
I MEAN, I THINK THAT'S REALLY THE QUESTION
WE NEED TO PUT TO PUT TO THE DEMOCRATS.
WHY ARE WE NOT TALKING ABOUT GEORGE BUSH'S PENIS?
YOU KNOW, WITH ALL THE TIMES
THAT THE REPUBLICANS TALKED ABOUT BILL CLINTON'S PENIS--
YOU KNOW, WE KNEW ITS SHAPE, WE KNEW ITS SIZE.
WE KNEW WHO IT WAS FRIENDS WITH.
WE KNEW IT HAD ENEMIES.
BILL CLINTON'S PENIS HAD A BEND IN IT.
YOU KNOW, WHAT ABOUT DUBYA?
IS THERE A BEND IN THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION?
[BANGING HEAD AGAINST GLASS]
OH, YEAH.
BABY, I GOT US A PIMP RIDE.
SERIOUSLY, CHECK IT OUT.
THE SEATS IN THE BACK, THEY GO ALL THE WAY DOWN,
AND THEN THE SKYLIGHT--
PANORAMIC SUNROOF OR WHATEVER--
IT'S LIKE YOU CAN SEE THE ENTIRE SKY.
AND IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE SUPER SMOOTH TO DRIVE.
BABY, I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN A CAR THIS NICE,
AND I DON'T EVEN GIVE A SHIT ABOUT CARS.
OOH, LET'S CHECK OUT THE SOUND SYSTEM.
[ALICE]: ...A WINK IN THE PRESIDENTIAL WANK?
YOU KNOW, I THINK AS AMERICANS...
AS AMERICANS, WE NEED TO TAKE A LONG, HARD LOOK--
THAT WAS ALICE.
I WANT TO HEAR WHAT SHE'S SAYING.
MAYBE IF WE KNEW MORE
ABOUT GEORGE W'S WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION, YOU KNOW,
WE COULD FIGURE OUT HOW TO BLOW HIM OUT OF OFFICE.
OKAY, SO COME ON,
ALL YOU NASCENT MUCKRAKERS
AND YOU SO-CALLED JOURNALISTS, LET'S GO.
LET'S, UH--
I SAY IT'S TIME TO PUT THE PRESIDENTIAL PRIVATES
IN PUBLIC.
OKAY, I AM ALICE PIESZECKI,
AND THIS WAS THE CHART--
I THINK ALICE HAS LOST HER MIND.
WELL, YOU DEFINITELY HAVE
THE SENATOR FROM CONNECTICUT'S VOTE.
YOU CHARMED THE PANTS OFF OF HIM. I DON'T KNOW...
SHOULD I GIVE YOU A LIFT TO YOUR HOTEL?
WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHERE ELSE.
MY PLACE.
I DO HAVE A RATHER GOOD COLLECTION.
ABSTRACT EXPRESSIONISTS.
OH, VERY GOOD.
YOU DO YOUR HOMEWORK.
THOUGHT ABOUT RUNNING FOR OFFICE?
WELL, I WOULD REALLY LOVE
TO SEE YOUR COLLECTION, SENATOR,
BUT I DO HAVE TO GET UP--
OH, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE. BARBARA.
BARBARA.
DO YOU ALWAYS GET PEOPLE TO DO WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO?
MAYBE WE SHOULD PUT YOU TO BED.
NO, I'M FINE.
NO, BABY, YOU DON'T LOOK FINE.
YOU LOOK-- YOU LOOK REALLY TIRED.
I AM REALLY TIRED.
I PLAYED MY ASS OFF TODAY.
I KNOW YOU DID.
LOOK, LARA, YOU'RE OVERREACTING, REALLY.
OKAY?
I'M GOING IN FOR A NEEDLE BIOPSY ON TUESDAY.
WE'LL FIND OUT THEN
IF THERE'S ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT,
BUT RIGHT NOW, IN THIS MINUTE,
I'M A HUGE FUCKING TENNIS STAR.
YES, YOU ARE.
YES, I AM.
I'M JUST NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THOSE GIRLS.
WHY DON'T YOU GIVE IT ANOTHER TRY?
WHY?
BECAUSE THOSE PEOPLE ARE MY FRIENDS.
YOUR FRIENDS WEREN'T VERY FRIENDLY TO ME.
WHAT?
I FEEL LIKE I JUST DON'T REALLY FIT IN,
YOU KNOW?
I JUST-- THEY'RE SO COOL, AND...
I DON'T KNOW, SOPHISTICATED--
I THINK THAT NOT THINKING YOU'RE COOL
IS FUCKING COOL.
WHERE'D YOU GET THAT SUIT?
[***]
HEY.
WONDER WOMAN.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
OH, YOU WERE FANTASTIC!
THANK YOU.
ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC.
THANK YOU.
DANA. SORRY.
THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY THRILLING.
THANK YOU.
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU AT WIMBLEDON.
THANK YOU.
JENNY...
HI.
CONGRATULATIONS.
THANK YOU.
HEY.
HEY. CONGRATULATIONS.
HEY, THANKS. THANKS.
THAT VOLLEY IN THE SECOND SET WAS, LIKE, SO AWESOME.
THAT WAS WHEN I PSYCHED HER OUT.
NOBODY ELSE NOTICED THAT. YEAH.
LOOK AT HOW HANDSOME YOU LOOK.
YOU LOOK GOOD.
HEY, THANKS.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
HEY. CONGRATULATIONS.
THANKS, AL.
UM... DRINKS.
IT WAS, LIKE, THE BEST GAME YOU'VE PLAYED IN A LONG TIME.
YOU WATCHED IT?
YEAH, I WATCHED IT.
I'M REALLY PROUD OF YOU.
THANKS.
CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU, TOO.
THANK YOU.
IT WAS A GREAT KISS.
OKAY, I'M GOING TO...
OKAY.
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS]
I CAN REALLY ONLY STAY FOR ONE, SENATOR--
BARBARA.
AND I JUST OPENED
A FABULOUS BOTTLE OF SCOTCH.
WELL, BARBARA, I CAN REALLY ONLY STAY FOR ONE DRINK.
I HAVE A VERY EARLY FLIGHT.
BUT I'M REALLY GLAD
I GOT TO SEE YOUR INCREDIBLE COLLECTION.
LET ME...
ASK YOU SOMETHING.
WHY DID YOU GET FIRED FROM THE C.A.C.?
IS IT BECAUSE YOU'RE A LESBIAN?
[LAUGHS]
WHAT, DID YOU GOOGLE ME OR SOMETHING?
THIS AFTERNOON,
AFTER YOUR PYROTECHNICS.
WELL, I DON'T THINK THE PYROTECHNICS WERE MINE.
I THINK SENATOR HORSEY--
WHO IS A RIDICULOUS GRANDSTANDER,
AND YOU MADE HIM LOOK LIKE A FOOL.
I LOVED IT.
WELL, THEN, IF YOU GOOGLED ME,
THEN YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE A PARTNER NAMED TINA
AND A SIX-MONTH-OLD DAUGHTER.
IS TINA...
AS INTENSE...
AS YOU ARE?
IS YOUR HUSBAND AS FLUID AS YOU ARE?
MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE AN ARRANGEMENT.
IT WORKS OUT WELL...
FOR BOTH OF US.
COME TO BED WITH ME.
I CAN'T.
THAT DOES NOT SOUND
LIKE A BETTE PORTER STATEMENT.
TINA AND I DON'T HAVE AN ARRANGEMENT.
EXCUSE ME, JUST FOR A MINUTE.
[***]
GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!
[CLIPPERS BUZZING]
GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!
OH, YOU MADE IT.
I WOULDN'T MISS IT, MAN.
THIS IS AMAZING.
OH, SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO DO MY HAIR.
I WILL DO YOUR HAIR.
WHERE'S THE BABY?
SHE'S AT HOME. SHE'S WITH ANGUS.
AND WHAT ABOUT BETTE? WHERE'S SHE?
OH, SHE'S IN--
[CELLPHONE RINGS]
GUESS WHO.
HEY, HOW ARE YOU?
WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
OH, T, GO IN THERE.
OKAY. OKAY.
YEAH? REALLY?
[***]
HAVE YOU SEEN MOIRA?
SHE LOOKS AMAZING.
[ALICE]: I KNOW, SHE LOOKS LIKE A HOT GUY.
I LIKE IT.
HEY, ALICE. HOW ARE YOU?
GOOD.
HAVE YOU SEEN CARMEN?
I THINK SHE'S AT, LIKE,
SOME PHAT-ASS RUSSELL SIMMONS PARTY.
I DON'T KNOW.
DON'T YOU THINK IT'S WEIRD
SHE'S NOT HERE?
I THINK IT SUCKS.
I'M SORRY, BETTE--
WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS RIGHT NOW?
BECAUSE, TINA, WE HAVE AN AGREEMENT WITH ONE ANOTHER.
SO YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HER,
AND SHE'S IN THE OTHER ROOM, AND YOU'RE ASKING MY PERMISSION?
I'M NOT ASKING YOUR PERMISSION TO...
I DON'T KNOW.
WELL, YOU'D BETTER HURRY,
BECAUSE I DON'T THINK SENATOR GRISHAM'S
GOING TO WAIT AROUND FOR YOU FOR VERY LONG.
SO IT WOULD BE FINE WITH YOU
IF I JUST WENT BACK IN THE LIVING ROOM,
AND FUCKED HER ON HER $50,000 CARPET?
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT TO DO, BETTE--
THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT TO DO, TINA.
I JUST...
I JUST WANT YOU TO CARE.
DO YOU?
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT IN THERE?
I'VE GOT TO GO.
THOUGHT YOU COULD USE SOME ENCOURAGEMENT.
I'M SORRY.
I REALLY DON'T NEED ANY ENCOURAGEMENT.
YOU... YOU ARE AN EXQUISITE WOMAN,
AND THE ONLY THING THAT I WANT
MORE THAN YOU RIGHT NOW
IS FOR MY GIRLFRIEND TO WANT ME LIKE YOU DO.
WELL...
SHE OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S MISSING...
AND THIS WAS NOT MEANT TO BE.
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN GOOD, THOUGH.
I'M SURE IT WOULD HAVE.
[***]
HEY...
HI!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE AT RUSSELL SIMMONS'.
I KNOW. IT'S A SURPRISE.
SHE IS WITH RUSSELL SIMMONS,
OR, ACTUALLY, I'M WITH HER. HI.
HEY.
HOW ARE YOU DOING? I'M RUSSELL.
I'M SHANE.
IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.
THIS IS SIMONE, MY ASSISTANT.
HI. HOW ARE YOU DOING?
MEANWHILE, YOUR GIRL HERE IS VERY TALENTED.
YEAH, SHE'S NOT SO BAD.
BUT I CAN ALSO SAY
THAT SHE HAS HER PRIORITIES STRAIGHT,
BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH I HIRED HER, SHE'S HERE FOR YOU.
IS THAT SO?
YEAH.
WELL, STRAIGHT, I DON'T...
GUESS WHAT?
WHAT?
I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU.
I WORKED ON THIS MIX ALL WEEK FOR YOU.
IS THAT MINE?
JUST FOR YOU.
GO PLAY IT FOR HER.
I WANT TO HEAR IT.
COULD YOU PLAY IT HERE?
YEAH. OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE IT! ALL RIGHT.
[***]