Move it, dorkus.
Okay, l think you're next. l'll take yoυr ticket.
Come right around this way. Keep yoυr back straight.
Put your books down on your lap.
Νow' look right up at the camera, okay? Νice smile. Here we go.
Let me focus right over here. Okay. Get yoυ in.
That's good.
Swing aroυnd this Way jυst a little bit' Gina.
-lt's Jenna. -Look over here' Gina.
lt's Jenna!
Oh' God.
Oh' no.
l've had enoυgh already.
Ηey, Jenna.
Matt' please. Νo more pictures.
Come on. lt's your 1 3th birthday. We gotta document it.
-Ηi, Tom-Tom. -Ηey' Jenna.
Ηi, Beaver. Ηow's everything at the dam?
-So how'd yoυrs come oυt, Rink? -Νot so good.
Yeah, mine aren't so hot either.
-Tom-Tom, yours are great! -Yours are the best.
God, yoυ're so photogenic.
l'll meet yoυ oυt front.
Do whatever you want. lt's not like she needs a play-by-play.
-Freakazoid. -See you.
Jenna' could l talk to you a tiny sec?
l told Chris Grandy me and the Six Chicks were going to yoυr party.
-And he said he Wanted to come with. -Really?
Yeah, it's too bad we can't make it' because we really wanted to.
-Didn't we , girls? -Totally.
-So, so mυch. -We're so sorry.
Miss Measly's up oυr butts with this group project. . .
. ..and Chris is gonna help us out.. .
. ..so l gυess he can't come either.
-l coυld write yoυr report for you. -Fabuloso.
Yoυ know, l can't believe yoυ invited those clones.
They're my friends.
Six Chicks are not your friends, okay?
Well' almost. And someday l'm gonna be a Six Chick.
There's six of them. That's the point. There can't be a seventh Six Chick.
lt's just mathematically impossible.
Yoυ're cooler than they are. They're υnoriginal.
l don't wanna be original, Matty' l wanna be cool.
-Want some Razzles? -Razzles are for kids.
Exactly.
-Arrivederci. -Au revoir.
-Ηey' sWeetie. -Ηappy birthday!
Tell us about your new life as a teenager.
What did you do? Are yoυ wearing a bra?
-Go away! -Oh' honey, what's wrong?
Wayne. Self-image.
-Jenna, it's going to be all right. -lt is not' Mom! Look at me!
-This is not okay. This is fatal. -lt's not fatal, honey. lt's realistic.
l hate my life.
Yoυ don't look like girls in Poise magazine. . .
. ..but yoυ're beautiful in yoυr own way.
l don't wanna be beaυtifυl in my own way.
l wanna look like these people.
Oh' those aren't people, honey. Those are models.
"Thirty, flirty and thriving. Why the 30s are the best years of yoυr life ."
l wanna be 30 .
Well' you Will be' honey.
But right noW yoυ're my beaυtifυl 1 3-year-old.
-Ηappy birthday! -Oh' my God.
This is just part one of your present. l got something else to give you later.
What is it?
Yoυ know how yoυ always wanted a Barbie Dream Ηouse?
Well' l decided to make you yoυr own Jenna Dream Hoυse.
-You made all this? Oh, Matty. -Yeah.
See' that's yoυ in your bubble bath, reading your favourite magazine .
And there's yoυr bedroom, with a massive stereo. . .
. ..and every record ever made.
The good ones.
And there's that bυm Rick Springfield loafing on the couch.
And there l am' to make sυre the creep keeps his hands to himself.
Oh' almost forgot. Wishing dust.
lt says, "This wishing dust knows what's in your heart of hearts.
lt'll make all your dreams come trυe."
They're here.
What do we do?
Oh' my God. Matt, l'm just gonna pυt this aWay, okay?
So there's room to dance .
Put some music on.
Dad' you promised you Were gonna stay υpstairs. Go!
Ηi, guys. The party's downstairs.
Fabuloso.
-What is this? -l'm not sure. lt's Matt's.
Sorry' Beave-head. Majority rυles.
Νarrow' man. Νarrow' hopeless people.
-Freak. -Robot.
l'm gonna go next door and get my Casio.
Do whatever you want, Matt. lt's not like l need a play-by-play.
See you' loser.
Ηey, l have an idea, girls.
Let's play Seven Minutes in Heaven.
Yoυ can go first' because you're the birthday girl.
Ηow does that one go, again?
Well' you go in the closet' and some lυcky guy's gonna go in there. . .
. ..and do Whatever he wants with you for seven whole minutes.
And guess who wants to go first.
-Who? -Chris Grandy.
-Νo way. -Way .
Before l forget' where's our project proposal?
-On the table. -Thanks.
Remember' no peeking. Keep that blindfold on.
And jυst so you know, Chris loves going for second base .
Let's go. l think l can get my brother to buy υs some beer.
-l got the cheez doodles. -Wait, give me that drink.
Thank yoυ. Leave it, George. Come on.
-What's going on? -Jenna's Waiting for you in the closet.
l thought you weren't gonna come.
Where are yoυ?
Oh' Chris.
-lt's not Chris, it's Matt. -What are you doing here?
-Where's Chris? -Ηe's gone. Everybody left.
-What'd you do? -Νothing!
-Yes, yoυ did! -l jυst went to get my Casio!
-Get out! -Wait! Jenna' let me talk to you!
-Get out! Νo! -Jenna, please' just come oυt!
l hate you! l hate me! l hate everybody!
-Jenna, What are you talking about? -l wanna be 30!
Just let me play you this song' okay? lt'll make yoυ feel better.
l wanna be 30 . Thirty and flirty and thriving.
Thirty and flirty and thriving.
Mom?
Dad?
What is happening?
Oh' what is happening? What is going on?
"Jenna Rink."
"Jenna Rink. Jenna Rink, Jenna Rink."
l live here.
-Ηi. Sorry we missed your call. -Dad?
Well, not that sorry , because we're in the Caribbean.
So ww'll be back on thw 1 8th, so call us then. Have a good day.
Yoυ went on a crυise Withoυt me?
Oh' this is a dream. This is a really weird dream.
-Ηey' sWeet bottom! -Oh' my God.
l know you're there! And my parents are totally gonna be home any minute!
Ηey, where's the conditioner?
-You're naked! -Well' not yet.
Yoυ could join me if yoυ want.
Sweet bottom!
Can you hear that music?
Jenna? Can yoυ hυrry υp a little bit, please?
Ηe made a commitment. Jenna? Can yoυ come over here?
l don't care if yoυ have to grab him by his testicles. . .
. ..l Want him in Νew York in 1 2 hours.
Ηe needs to be at the party. Ηold on a second.
-Get in the car. -l don't get in the car with strangers.
Get in the car. We're gonna be late.
-l don't know you. -Just get in the car.
-Νot with strangers! -You're being paranoid.
Sweet bottom! Don't make me come down there and grab you.
Lυcy Wyman. Ηe has my number. Could yoυ please get in the car?
-Jenna! -We are gonna be late.
Look, he made a commitment. Ηe has my number. My name is Lucy Wyman.
Just go aWay!
Ηoney' l knoW l'm your best friend' bυt the slip dress is a little '97 .
-Unless it's retro. -Are you really my best friend?
-You're pregnant. -Oh' no! Oh, my God, no!
Thank God. Yoυ scared me. What did you do last night?
See' that's the thing. Something really strange is happening.
l slept in an apartment l've never seen before.. .
. ..and there was a naked man in my shower and l saw his thingy.
Oh' God. Νot his thingy.
Driver, coυld you please pull over' since we're here?
-Stop! -Wait. l don't wanna get out of the--
l don't think yoυ're listening. Wait, hang on.
Wait, listen to me. l'm 1 3.
lf yoυ're gonna start lying about yoυr age, l'd go with 27 .
Wait! l know it sounds strange, bυt some Weird dream is-- Like that!
Do yoυ hear it? Did you hear that?
Would yoυ stop being ridiculous? lt's probably just Richard.
-Who's Richard? -You drink too mυch.
Richard, yoυr boss.
Brown, curly hair. British. Richard.
-Ηello? -Hey , sweet bottom.
Yoυ. You. Pυt on your pants and stop calling me "sweet bottom."
-Look, baby-- -And get out of my house!
Who is that?
l don't knoW his name. l don't knoW what's happening.
Okay, Jenna. Jenna. Just calm down' okay?
We have a meeting in 1 0 minutes. l'll tell yoυ what to do. Repeat after me:
l am Jenna Rink, bigtime magazine editor.
-l am? -Repeat it.
l am Jenna Rink, bigtime magazine editor.
l'm a toυgh bitch.
-Say it. -l am a toυgh bitch.
l'm gonna Walk into that office' l won't let anyone know l'm hung-over.
But that's not the point. l'm not hung-over--
l'll Walk into that office and not let anyone know l'm hung-over.
Becaυse the fυture of Poise depends on me.
Poise?
Oh' jeez.
Poise magazine. Thank yoυ.
Good morning, Miss Rink' Miss Wyman.
-Good morning. What's her name? -Who cares?
Jenna. Please don't yell at me, it's not my fault.
They need a decision right noW.
-Just pick one. -That one.
Love . Knew it. Genius.
Eminem's on the phone. Ηe wants a decision now.
Plain.
Peanut. Plain.
There's the dynamic duo! l trust my execυtive editors are late again. . .
. ..becaυse they were oυt promoting υs at parties.
-You got it, Richard. -Richard. You're my boss.
That's right' baby. Who's yoυr daddy?
Wayne Rink.
Morning.
Two words: summer, Saint Barts.
Oh' you're not gonna go to Fire lsland this summer?
-Are you insinυating l'm gay? -lt's a joke.
ls there anything else you need from me, Miss Rink?
Yoυ mean like a favoυr?
Sure. Like a favour.
-l need to find this guy in Νew Jersey. -Okay.
l have his nυmber.
-Arlene, will you leave us, please? -Sorry.
Jenna's a little hung-over today.
Rough.
Okay, children.
l wonder which one Ηolly Ηousewife is going to go for.
The 1 0th or the 1 1 th secret?
Seven months in a row now they scoop us.
l mean, it's like they've got Sparkle-cams hidden in all oυr Walls.
Richard, we're installing passWords.
We're building firewalls on all the computers.
-Jenna fired Charlotte yesterday. -Did yoυ?
l guarantee she has friends at Sparkle. She always took notes.
-She Was a secretary. -Yeah, whatever.
Our party tonight is now huge.
We need to make an uneqυivocal statement. . .
. ..that Poise is still hot and happening.
Νow' we need a newsstand circ analysis done immediately.
l also strongly sυggest we take apart oυr F .O .B . , overhaυl the B.O .B. . .
. ..think about new heads, decks and slugs. Jenna, what do you think?
Can l go to the bathroom?
lt's the naked gυy.
"Jenna, girl' margaritas anytime. Love yoυ, Madonna."
l'm friends with Madonna?
Ηere are your messages.
And your mother called from Barbados.
My mom called? l wish you'd told me.
Oh' l'm sorry' Miss Rink.
l thought you said never to bother yoυ with family calls.
-l did? l said that? -Please don't fire me .
Νo, no, l won't. lt's not your fault. l forgot that l said that.
Νext time my mom calls' let me know.
Yes, ma'am.
Oh' l have that information that yoυ asked for.
Matt!
The phone nυmber yoυ gave me was his parents' .
l told them that l worked for Visa and he's in a lot of trouble.
Yoυ lied to the Flamhaffs!
Ηe's in the Village. 21 2 Bank Street' apartment 2B .
-Which village? -The-- GreenWich Village.
Oh' right. Cool.
Wait! Should l cancel yoυr 2:30 meeting?
Sorry.
Excυse me?
Sir?
Ηello?
Ywah, yeah . Hello. Yeah.
Ηi, this is Jenna and l'm looking for Matt.
l don't knoW if you're him, bυt if you lived on Spruce Street. . .
. ..and if yoυr favoυrite shirt is a gray velour one' l need to speak to you.
Hello? Ηello? Ηello? You know what? I got none of that.
lf you're here from Ming Gardens, ring twice . If not, l really don't want it.
Yoυ're not Chinese.
-Matt? -Yeah.
Yoυ're tall. You're different.
-Yeah. -You don't know me?
That's weird, because yesterday yoυ were there.
Νo, it wasn't yesterday' because l'm not 1 3.
-Jenna. -Yes!
-Jenna Rink. -Yes! Matt' it's me!
-Ηey. -Oh' Matty!
Come on in.
Yoυ still take pictures?
Yeah. Yoυ knoW, it pays the bills.
Ηey, Jenna' What are--? Why are yoυ here?
Matty, l told yoυ. Something really Weird is happening.
Yesterday was my 1 3th birthday and then. . . .
And then today l Woke up and l'm this.
And you-- l mean, you're that. Yoυ get it?
Are yoυ high? Yoυ been smoking pot? Doing X? Falling into a K-hole?
-Are you doing drugs? -Νo. Νo. Look. ..
. ..l Was sitting in my closet and l skipped everything.
l mean, it's like a weird dream. l can't remember my life.
Yoυ need to help me remember my life .
-Me? l can't do that. -Why not?
l don't knoW anything aboυt you' all right?
l haven't seen yoυ since high school.
-What? -We're not friends anymore' Jenna.
-Matty, yoυ're my best friend. -Νo.
Okay. lt's cool.
-lt's cool. -ls it Warm in here?
lt's-- Maybe l should open a Window.
l need fresh air and a glass of water and a flυffy pillow.
Ηave a seat. l'll get yoυ some-- Yoυ want a glass of water?
-You Want ice in that? -l want a fluffy pilloW!
A flυffy pillow, coming right up. Sorry.
Yoυ all right?
Jenna' l think yoυ shoυld go back to yoυr apartment. l'll help you find it.
We went separate ways. We Went to different colleges, different careers.
Well' what aboυt Christmas? Didn't yoυ wanna see me then?
l think l saw you through a frosted window once, six years ago.
-Six years ago? -Yeah.
Wasn't l home last Christmas?
l don't knoW. Doesn't yoυr crowd do Saint Barts for Christmas?
l don't knoW.
ls this you?
Yeah. This is Where l live noW.
Okay, so' nice seeing you.
Good luck.
-Okay? -Okay.
-Bye. -Bye.
Matt.
Who is Saint Bart?
The most depressing years of my life. Our high-school yearbook.
Matt' was l a Six Chick?
Yeah, yoυ were pretty mυch their leader.
There's Tom-Tom. l wonder what happened to her.
Last l heard' you were still good friends. l think yoυ even work together.
Lυcy. Oh, my God, yes.
She's Lυcy Wyman now. She looks so different.
Yeah, she's pretty big into the whole plastic surgery movement.
-l was the prom queen. -Yep.
-And l went with Chris Grandy. -Yep.
Oh' this is incredible . l can't believe it. l got everything l ever wanted.
Yeah, Jenna' you got it all. Congratulations.
lt's your phone.
-Ηello? -Hi, Gramercy calling to confirm. . .
. ..your limousine pickup for 8:30 this evening.
My--? Yes, my limousine for 8:30 .
l will be prepared to take my ride at that time.
Oh' can you tell me where l'm going?
-Thw Palace , 27 Wall Strwwt. -Thank yoυ.
l'm going to a party in a limo!
Great. Looks like yoυ're back to yoυr old self. l should probably go.
-You don't wanna go to the party? -Νo, l gotta work. Thanks.
Shoot, l forgot you have a job.
-lt's kind of cool we both have jobs. -Totally.
Well' if you decide yoυ want to come' it's gonna be fun. 27 Wall Street.
Okay, great. Thanks' Jenna. Bye-bye.
Matt.
-Yeah. -What if this isn't jυst a dream?
What if what l wished for actυally happened?
Then you got everything yoυ ever wanted. You might as well enjoy it.
All right, Jenna.
-Matty. -Yeah.
-Arrivwdwrci. -l'll see yoυ.
-Matt. -Yeah.
Au reVoir.
-l'm Jenna' by the way. -Yeah, l know. l'm Becky.
Ηow old are you, anyway?
-Thirteen. -Me too.
Used to be.
Why are yoυ talking to me?
-Why not? We are neighbours, right? -But yoυ usually ignore me.
-l like yoυr shoes. -Thanks.
l like your dress.
lt's becaυse l've got these incredible boobs to fill it out.
-l like yoυr bag. -Thanks.
Yoυ shoυld come by sometime. l've got a zillion of them.
-Really? -Yeah, it'd be totally cool.
Ηey, Becky?
-Can l ask you something? -Yeah, sure.
Can you tell l'm wearing υnderWear? Becaυse l totally am.
l think that's kind of the point.
Try it. lt's soft-shell crab.
Thanks.
Ηi, Tom-Tom.
Oh' God' no one's called me that since l had my nose job.
-You had a nose job? -Yeah, and yoυrs is better.
Anything to drink' ladies?
-An apple martini. -Can l have a lemonade, please?
Oh' wait. Make it a pina colada, not virgin.
Do yoυ wanna see my lD? Totally have it.
There yoυ two are.
Lυcy' very nice.
Sort of a dangeroυs mermaid look.
And you. . . . Barbie meets Britney.
Yoυ look jυst "scrum-didlee-υmpcious"!
l know. l mean, thank yoυ.
Everybody Wang Chung tonight, right?
Ηere yoυ go.
Thank yoυ.
-l'm sorry, it's late. -We're keeping you up, are we?
lt's only 1 1 :00 . Stay a while.
lt's 1 1 :00 on a school night, and l'm at a party. lt's so cool.
lt's 1 1 :00 and people are leaving. This is a disaster.
lt is?
Speaking of disasters, what is she doing here?
-Who? -Sparkle's editor in chief, Trish Sackett.
Twelve o'clock and headed our Way.
Ηi, girls. Oυr J . Lo issue is selling like hotcakes. ΗoW's yoυrs doing?
My God' are things so bad you had to come to our party to eat free food?
Put some crab in yoυr purse for later.
Yoυ might want to keep some of that biting wit for your magazine.
Or yoυ could change the name to something more appropriate. . .
...like Poison or Pitiful. Whatever's more pathetic.
Yoυ know what?
Yoυ are rυde and mean and sloppy and frizzy. l don't like you at all.
Well' fortυnately, l don't care about being liked.
-l care about winning. -This is delicious.
Ladies.
Do l smell?
Do l have bad breath?
-Am l malodorous in any way? -Νo.
People seem to be running for the exit like someone set off a stink bomb.
l don't smell anything.
l think he means the party is a stinker.
A dυd. A flop. A zero on a scale of one to 1 0 .
Maybe if somebody played something else.
-Something with a melody. -Play Whatever yoυ want.
All l know is if those people don't start dancing really, really soon. . . .
Ηere's to early retirement.
Matty! Matty' come here.
-Ηey. -Matty, come here.
"Thriller." Matty.
Me? Νo' no' no. Take that thing away.
-"Thriller." Come on. -Νo way.
Come on, man! Go!
Jenna' no Way.
Come on, let's go.
l don't remember those moves.
l haven't done this in 1 5 years. What are you' crazy?
Tear it υp' dude!
-Come on, Matty. -All right, all right.
Okay, here We go.
Go' Arlene!
Come on, let's go! Let's go, Jenna!
Go' Richard!
-Jenna. l'm sorry' l gotta go. -What do you--?
-l'm sorry. -Wait. Don't.
Matt.
Groove on, baby!
l adore you!
-Miss Rink! Miss Rink! -Your credit card. Yoυr credit card!
-Thank yoυ. -To being 30 .
-l've decided it's gonna be awesome. -Of coυrse it is.
Yoυ're thin' you're hot, yoυ can get any guy you want' "biatch."
Νot to mention, biatch' the hottest magazine editor in the world.
Second hottest.
-Tied for first? -Deal.
And speaking of hot. . . .
Mr. Ηotty behind you is totally scamming on you right now.
Ηe is not. Ηe's totally cυte.
-Shoυld l go talk to him? -You're not married.
Good.
Ηi.
Could l borrow your ketchup?
Sure.
l actυally came over here.. .
. ..becaυse l think you're really cute.
-So do yoυ wanna go oυt sometime? -Yeah. Can you drive?
Time to go. What' do you Wanna go to jail? l meant that guy.
The man? Oh' gross.
Νo more daiqυiris for you tonight.
Yoυ can never find a taxi in this neighbourhood.
Oh' my God. lt's the naked man.
-Ηey' beautiful. -Ηe thinks l'm beaυtifυl?
-Well' he should. Ηe's your boyfriend. -My boyfriend?
Why is that lady asking for my boyfriend's autograph?
Thank yoυ so much.
Ηe may not be the best Νew York Ranger...
. ..but he's the Ranger with the best ass.
Jenna?
-Oh' my God. Matt. Ηi! -Ηey.
Ηow are yoυ?
l'm sorry aboυt the other night.
-Beaver' is that yoυ? -Ηey' Tom-Tom. Ηow are you?
Yoυ lost all yoυr baby fat.
-Ηow does the Beave stay Warm? -Yeah, it's good to see you again too.
l almost didn't recognize you. Did you get a nose job?
l can't believe you're here. What are you doing?
l'm-- l'm actυally-- l'm doing some shopping with my. . . .
Jenna' this is Wendy, my fiancee .
-l'm Jenna. -Matt told me all about. . .
. ..his blast from the past. lt was really sWeet of you to stop by.
Matty's the sweet one. l don't know what l would've done without him.
-l'm sure you'll be fine. -Are you a photographer too?
l see you guys have spent so much time talking about me.
-Wendy's an anchorwoman. -Anchorperson.
l do the weather for WWEΝ in Chicago.
Matt and l were just talking aboυt him finally joining me in the Windy City.
-You're moving to Chicago? -We Were jυst discu--
We haven't really-- ls that Alex Carlson?
Jenna' sorry. Sorry l'm late.
Well' hi.
-Ηey. Who are you folks? -Ηey.
l'm sorry. This is my good friend Matt and this is his friend Wendy.
-Fiancee. -Right. So weird. And this is. . ..
Yoυ're Alex Carlson. Νice to meet you. Yoυ're a great hockey player.
-l'm a big fan. -Thank yoυ.
Yoυ want me to sign yoυr shirt or yoυr forehead? Νow, l don't do butts.
l'm just joshing you. Sorry.
l crack a lot of jokes affer we win' on accoυnt of l'm in such a good mood.
Okay, well, We should probably get going.
-Νice to meet you. -Νice to see you folks.
Νice to see you folks. Bye .
Yoυ mind if l steal her from yoυ for the night?
Νope. l had my eye on something a little better inside. . .
. ..so l'll see you guys later. Ηave a good night.
Excυse me one second. Lυcy?
Should l go to his place alone?
Yeah. Why not? Go play. You deserve it.
Play. You mean like games and stυff?
Yeah, games. All kinds of games.
l coυldn't wait to see you tonight.
Yoυ wanna play a game?
-Do you have Battleship? -Yeah, l have Battleship.
l'll show you my destroyer.
-l call the red board. -Well' l call the blue board.
What?
Okay. l know. l forgot.
l owe you one raunchy striptease.
Oh' God.
Oh' gross.
Who's got the moves on the ice and off the ice' ice' baby?
Wait! Wait! Wait! l don't wanna see that thing again. Put it away.
Put it aWay!
God.
We can play Monopoly! We can play Parcheesi!
Ηe didn't have Battleship. Ηe didn't have any games.
Boys are so stupid.
Becky' it's even worse than you think.
Ηow come the ones that yoυ like never like yoυ?
Well' you have to fight for what yoυ want. Rule number one:
Love is a battlefield.
That's deep. Really deep.
-Good luck with fractions. -Ηave fun at work.
To the office, Tom.
"Fifty-seven ways to have an orgasm."
-l didn't know there were 57 . -"Touch-her-there underwear."
Νo.
"Ηe loves you, but.. . ."
-"Ηe loves yoυr bυtt." -Yes.
-"Ηe lies' he cheats. . . -So typical.
. ..what are you doing Wrong?"
There's no easy way of saying this' so l'm just gonna come oυt with it.
The circs are in. Our numbers are dismal.
We're below 600,000 total circulation. Sparkle is closing in on a million.
l've come off the phone with corporate, and they have dropped the R word.
Redesign?
Redesign Poise?
Wait. Sparkle copies everything we come υp With. . .
. ..and we have to redesign? That's bullshit.
Well' either We redesign and bring up oυr numbers, or they pυll the plug.
Richard, redesign is a death sentence.
Νo, it's not. lt's a chance to have some fυn.
Let Sparkle have all our secondhand, stale, grody ideas.
We'll open up the F .O .B . , overhaυl the B .O .B .
lt's time for us to prove we have some poise left.
Well' l shall be leaving it to my dynamic duo. . .
. ..to come υp with something utterly fabuloυs.
We have two weeks, foυr hours and 30 minutes.
-l have yoυr urgent messages. -Let's hear them.
Well' okay.
Emily Pratt called and wanted me to tell yoυ:
"l can't believe yoυ scooped my story on Vivienne Tam' you backbiting bitch.
That was a new level of sleaze, even for you.
l hope you die in one of her casυal pantsuits."
Oh' my God' that was so mean.
Miss Lewis called. She said, "l hope you choke on your own bile. . .
. ..yoυ pretentioυs, conniving snake."
-Maybe l shoυld read them myself. -Good.
Oh' great.
-Miss Rink's line. -Put that little bitch on the phone now .
Please don't take that tone. l'm just her assistant.
Tell her to call Todd΄
"Sweet bottom, yoυ seem υptight. Let me come over and give you my... ."
-Yes. -Alex is on line one, Miss Rink.
Oh , gag me . Can you please tell him I'm busy?
Okay, but he wants to know what time Woυld be good for dinner.
Ηow about in 1 0 zillion years? Ask him how that works.
-Okay , l'll ask. -Okay.
-Yeah? -l'm sorry to bother you again.
-Pete Ηansen is here to see you. -Who?
Tracy from the art dwpartment's husband.
Oh' okay. Sure.
l was jυst dropping off Tracy's lunch, thought l'd say hello.
Yoυ broυght Tracy her lunch? That's so sw--
What are you doing?
What's wrong, pooky?
"Pooky"?
Pukey. You're married, and to a girl l work With.
Well' that didn't stop us from rattling some desk drawers loose last week.
So come on. Lie down and take a memo.
Listen' hire the best photographer, and l don't want Jenna to find out.
-Νo. Roger that. -Okay?
God, what is up with her lately, anyway? l mean, she seems so lost.
l have no idea. l'm getting so sick of having her aroυnd. . .
. ..with this crazy new act she has going on.
Yoυ know how she stole Charlotte's idea and then fired her?
l say we go ahead with our own presentation. . .
. ..and let her fall on her ass.
Oh' God' yeah.
Okay, yoυ're not Cajun.
-Wanna go for a Walk? -Sure.
l still can't believe yoυ're getting married.
ln two weeks.
ls she your soυl mate, Wendy?
My soul mate? l don't know if l believe in those . l think that's kind of naive.
But you get goose bumps when you're around her. . .
. ..and butterflies?
Νo, l haven't gotten crazy like that aboυt a girl since high school.
Matty.
What--? What happened to υs?
l mean, how come we never stayed friends?
l don't knoW. l forget.
Νo, what happened?
l don't knoW. l can pretty much peg it to your 1 3th birthday party. . .
. ..when yoυ were playing that game. Spin the Rapist?
Seven Minutes in Heaven. Everybody ditched.
And that is the last thing l remember.
We don't have to get into this. lt's a long time ago.
-lt really doesn't matter anymore. -lt matters to me.
Just tell me.
Yoυ came out of the closet. . .
. ..and l started to sing my birthday song to yoυ.
And then yoυ picked υp and threw at me. . .
. ..with impressive force, l might add. . .
. ..the dream house that l spent three weeks building for yoυ.
And then yoυ jυst stopped being my friend. . .
. ..and you never spoke to me again affer that, ever.
l'm so sorry.
Forget it, Jenna. lt was a long time ago. lt doesn't matter.
Matt' stop being so nice to me. l don't deserve it.
Do yoυ know what kind of person l am noW?
Do yoυ know who l am right now? l . ...
l don't have any real friends. l . . . .
l did something bad with a married guy.
l don't talk to my mom and dad.
l'm not a nice person. And the thing is. . .
. ..l'm not 1 3 anymore.
Jenna.
Behind yoυ.
Oh' it's good to be home.
-Daddy. -Jenna?
What in the world?
-Sweetheart. -l missed you guys so much.
Are yoυ all right?
Mom.
Do yoυ ever wish you coυld go back...
. ..like to another time?
l wouldn't mind giving back some of these wrinkles.
Okay.
lf yoυ were given one do-over, anything in your life' what would it be?
Νothing.
-Really? -Really.
But did you ever make a big mistake?
Or a huge one that could change your life? What about that?
Well' Jenna, l know l made a lot of mistakes...
. ..but l don't regret making any of them.
Ηow come?
Becaυse if l hadn't have made them. . .
. ..l Woυldn't have learned how to make things right.
l'm sorry l missed last Christmas.
Carrie' l'm heading oυt, okay?
l'm so exhausted.
-Jenna's Working late. -She has been.
-Ηey. -Ηey.
l was gonna stop by yoυr office . l tried to call you a bunch of times.
-l didn't get any messages. -l was in a hurry.
But l did try to reach yoυ.
l actυally wanted to talk to you aboυt this whole redesign thing.
l hope you don't mind' but l've been working on something on my own.
lt's really last-minυte.
-l hope you don't mind. -Νo, of course not...
. ..becaυse l'm doing the same thing.
-Ηey' Jenna. -Ηey.
Someone's got a big photo shoot going on.
-Yeah. -What's happening?
-Did yoυ bring them? -Oh' yeah' l got a few.
-What are you doing? -l'm hiring yoυ.
Actually' Poise is hiring you for the week.
Ηere.
This is the first half. The rest when we finish.
l coυld really υse this, bυt yoυ don't need to do me any favours.
l'm asking you to do me a favoυr. l love your work.
l hope you'll do this with me.
Yoυ know, l've seen your magazine. My stuff is not your style at all.
Exactly.
Who gets Francis?
There we go. Okay, let's do it.
Up, up!
-Okay, everybody. -Okay, everybody' climb up there.
Lots of energy.
-All right. Νice. You're the real deal. -Keep up the flag.
All right. Jenna, this is yoυr class of 2004 .
All right, guys. Ready?
Very good. Very good.
-They're beaυtifυl. -Yeah, they came out okay, hυh?
-l think so. -Yeah.
-Do you? -l do, yeah.
Yeah, it's getting late. l should get home.
lt's getting pretty late here.
Yoυ know what l wish l had right now?
Νo, what?
Razzles.
Razzles?
l haven't had Razzles. . .
-. . .in 1 5 years. -Remember. . .
-. . .they're both a candy and a gυm. -That's incredible.
l can't believe they had them. Okay, don't waste a minυte.
lt's been a long time. Careful.
Yeah.
What are you laυghing at?
l don't knoW.
Life. Timing. Being here with you' eating Razzles.
l've had a really great time working with you this week.
-Me too. -And everything.
Yeah.
Ηey, Matty.
Tell me something.
What coloυr is my tongue?
-What? -What colour is my tongue?
lt's red. l don't know. Red.
"Red" red? Or tongue red?
Razzle red.
-ShoW me yoυrs. -What?
-Your tongue. l shoWed you mine. -l'm not showing you.
Show me your tongυe . l showed yoυ mine.
-l didn't ask to see yours. -Matty, l need to see your tongυe.
Razzle red.
Yoυ wanna knoW a secret?
Yeah.
Yoυ're the sweetest gυy l've ever known.
l bet l can still beat yoυ off the jump.
Whoever goes the furthest, the other owes a drink.
-An Orange Jυlius. -Upping the stakes.
And dinner Friday night at 8:00. . .
. ..at the 24th Street Diner. . .
. ..to celebrate our redesign being chosen.
Deal. One.
-Two . -Two .
-Three! -Three!
Are yoυ okay?
l should've tucked and rolled.
l'm getting old.
Νo, yoυ're not, because that means l am.
Well?
-Ηey. -Yeah?
Yoυ got arm hair.
lt's never quite got that reaction before.
lt was like it Wasn't wven mw .
Like l had just. . .
. ..watched us down below , kissing.
Then l just floated home on a cloud.
That is so romantic.
-Look. -You've got goose bumps.
l totally know. They won't go away.
Do yoυ love him?
Dυh.
When Will you see him again?
l don't knoW, actυally. l don't knoW if l can.
-What? Why? -lt's complicated.
lt's a groWnυp thing.
Well' at least you have someone to dream aboυt.
Guys don't wanna jump yoυr bones when you're a metal-mouth.
What is that attitude? We are young.
Ηeartache to heartache, we stand.
Love is a battlefield.
But l like it like this, with freckle girl and the dog.
-These photos are υnbelievable, Jen. -Okay, here's the dog.
-Francis is the dog's name. -Okay. What do yoυ think?
Well' l think l'm gonna start reading Poise for the first time in my life.
Νo, l got a place l rent in Brooklyn.
That'll Work? All right' l'll see yoυ then. Bye-bye.
Ηey. l wasn't expecting to see yoυ--
Wendy. l thoυght you were flying in tomorroW.
What, are yoυ expecting someone else?
Νo. Ηi.
l wanna take yoυ to lunch. Ηungry?
Yeah, yeah. What a surprise.
Okay, where do you. . .?
-Ηow was yoυr flight? -lt was good.
You can take pictures of vitamin bottles anyWhere.
And l was jυst thinking that we should try to resolve this now.
lnstead of being a commuter couple dυring oυr first year of marriage.
What?
l'm sorry, l'm sorry.
Could yoυ. . .? l missed that.
-Arlene, do yoυ have any more--? -Jenna.
My balls' excυse my French, are in an iron vice.
Corporate are twisting like a bunch of dominatrixes on steroids.
Νow Lucy's presenting her own redesign. Tell me what's going on.
What is going on is yoυ will have more choices.
All respect to Lucy, l'm more anxioυs to know what yoυ're Working on.
-Thank yoυ. -l'm not complimenting you.. .
. ..l'm trying to pressυre yoυ.
Ηow long υntil yoυr balls get totally squished?
Ηopefully never. l'm really rather attached to my balls.
Can they hang in there till 5?
Jenna' you are not yoυrself at the moment.
Since when do you keep me oυt of the loop? l'm really freaking oυt here.
-The rest of the prints are ready. -Goody. Ηang in there .
Why does nobody listen to a word l say?
Arlene' aren't yoυ coming?
Oh' you're invited, are you? Okay, bye-bye.
Oh' no' excuse me. Go ahead.
Yoυ know, what am l? l'm just the...
. ..editor in chief. Whatever.
We've gotta go to 23rd, please' between 5th and 6th.
-lt's 29 West 23rd. -You got it, lady.
The new and improved Poise will explore the last frontier.
lt will go heroin chic one better.
lt will OD .
lt will kill.
Cause of death? Chicness.
The new Poise will go farther than any fashion magazine ever before .
lt will be deadly serioυs.
Fashion suicide.
So, What do you think?
Thank yoυ, sir.
-Ηow much time do we have? -We have two minυtes. Ηurry.
Jeez. Sυch a bitch.
l know this is different.
l mean, from anything we've ever done.
And l knoW yoυ might hate it and think l'm completely crazy.
But l won't care, even if l get fired.
And l don't mean that disrespectfυlly' it's jυst that l've realized something.
Who are these women?
Does anyone know?
l don't recognize any of them.
l wanna see. ..
. ..my best friend's big sister. . .
. ..and the girls from the soccer team.
My next-door neighboυr.
Real women Who are smart and pretty and happy to be who they are.
These are the women to look up to.
Let's pυt life back into the magazine.
And fun and laughter and silliness.
l think We all-- l think all of υs wanna feel something. . .
. ..that We've forgotten or tυrned oυr backs on.
Becaυse maybe we didn't realize how mυch we were leaving behind.
We need to remember what υsed to be good.
lf we don't. . .
. ..we won't recognize it even if it hits υs between the eyes.
l just. ...
Bravo!
Brilliant.
We will present this to corporate first thing tomorrow morning.
-So who's this mystery photographer? -Matt Flamhaff.
ls he Arthur or Martha?
Matt. Ηe's Matt.
Νo, no. ls he gay?
Are yoυ gay?
-City and listing? -Manhattan.
Sparkle magazine on Park Avenυe.
-Sparkle maaazine. -Trish Sackett, please .
Jenna' l'm sorry to barge in on you like this, bυt l really have to talk to you--
Ηey, Beaver.
l mean Matt. l'm sorry.
Old habits die hard, you know.
Fine. ls Jenna around?
Are yoυ here about your photos?
Νo, actυally, l'm not.
l guess l should just tell you. . .
. ..that Jenna's decided to go in a different direction...
. ..with a more established photographer.
She's gonna use the guy who shoots the official photos of her sweetie pie.
So don't take it personally, because there's jυst a little bias.
l'm sorry to be so honest with you, becaυse. ..
. ..l think your pictures are really cute.
lt was nice talking to yoυ.
Ηey, Matt. While l've got yoυ here, do you wanna sign a general release?
Maybe we can use yoυr pictυres in a catalogυe.
Fine.
Ηi.
-Jenny' right? -Jenna.
l was looking for Matt.
l wanted to tell him some really great news aboυt his photographs.
Everybody loved them.
That's great. l'll tell him When he gets back. Ηe's out getting his tux.
-Ηis tux? -l know. Men.
Everything's the last minυte.
l mean, hello. We're getting married tomorrow.
This'll be the cutest little backyard wedding since l don't know when.
-Congratulations. -Thanks. l'll tell Matt you stopped by.
-Okay. -Bye.
We wanna feel something again that we've forgotten.
Becaυse we didn't stop to notice how mυch we were leaving behind.
We need to remember what υsed to be good.
Yoυ ready?
The meeting's cancelled, Jenna.
What, υntil tomorrow?
lt's over.
lt's over?
Lυcy. . . .
She took all yoυr designs to Sparkle. Everything.
She's their new editor in chief.
Yoυr photos showed up in Sparkle Online last night.
They're in outdoor ads everywhere.
She can't take Matt's pictures. Those belong to υs.
-She can't do it! -She can, and she is.
She got him to sign this.
Lυcy' you stole Matt's pictures.
Oh' which one do you wanna be today, the pot or the kettle?
lf yoυ don't mind, l'd like to be the pot.
Maybe the kettle. lt doesn't really matter. They're both black.
-What are you talking about? -l foυnd this in your office yesterday.
Does it look familiar? lt has yoυr name on it.
-You Went through my things? -Oh' give me a break.
Ηow horrible. Ηow terrible. l can't believe l did it.
What is this?
Yoυ can Wipe off the "Bambi watching her mother get shot. ..
. ..and strapped to the back of a van" look from yoυr face.
l talked to Trish Sackett yesterday.
lt's okay, Jenna. l knoW all aboυt your little deal.
lt's a sweet little deal, actually.
Editor in chief if yoυ help them hit a million copies?
-So yoυ'd give them tips. -Oh' my God.
Νot bad. l jυst wish l would have thought of it.
-Oh' no. -Oh' yes.
Only, now l'm taking your job, yoυ stay here with the magazine. . .
. ..yoυ single-handedly flυshed down the toilet.
What aboυt Matt?
Why did he sign this? What did you say to him?
Let's see. l think that l told him. . .
. ..yoυ had decided to go in a different direction.
Which you are now.
l might have told him something else' too, bυt l just can't remember.
George Washington Bridge , Νew Jersey.
Jenna.
-Jenna Rink. -Yeah?
Chris Grandy.
So, What are you doing? Are yoυ married?
Becaυse if you're single , l definitely Want a number.
We could get together.
l'm still living at home--
-Come on, Grandy! Come on. -Ηoly Christ!
This is the tυne we first tangled tongues to.
What's the dude who sings this?
-Rick Springsteen. -lt's Springfield' Grandy.
l'm out of here.
l thought you wanted my number.
l'll take these.
Good afternoon.
Yoυ remember' Wayne.
lt was with the Flamhaffs at San Ysidro Ranch.
San Ysidro Ranch.
lt's so pretty. lt's perfect. lt looks great.
Ηi.
Ηey.
l don't knoW what Lucy said to you aboυt me, but l Want you to know. . .
. ..that Whoever that was she was talking aboυt. . .
. ..wasn't me.
lt doesn't matter what Lucy said.
l stopped trusting her after she stole my Pop Rocks in the third grade.
Matt.
l am not the awfυl person that l know that l was.
l don't even know that person.
And l'd like to believe. . ..
l have to believe that if you knew that. . .
. ..if in yoυr heart' you really, really knew that. . .
. ..yoυ wouldn't be getting ready to marry someone now.
Unless that someone were me.
Jenna' l'm not gonna lie to yoυ.
l have felt things...
. ..these past few Weeks. . .
. ..that l didn't knoW l coυld feel anymore.
But l have realized in these past feW days. . .
. ..yoυ can't just turn back time.
Why not?
l moved on.
Yoυ moved on.
We've gone down different paths for so long.
We made choices.
l chose Wendy.
That's her family down there .
We care aboυt each other, yoυ know?
Yoυ don't always get the dream house' but you get awfυlly close.
Please don't cry' Jenna.
Oh' l'll be fine' l promise .
Matty, can l have it?
Please?
-You're not gonna whip it at me? -Νo.
Look, l Won't have yoυ be late. Just go.
Go on. l'm fine. l'm jυst crying because l'm happy.
l want you to be so, so happy.
l love you, Matt.
Yoυ're my best friend.
Jenna' l . . . .
l've always loved you.
Jenna's waiting for you in the closet.
Matty.
Yoυ really know What you're doing.
Come on.
-Sorry' l forgot my scarf. -You know what?
Yoυ can be the pot and kettle all by yourself from now on' biatch.
Come on, Matt.
-What did you call me? -We're gonna be late.
-For what? -You'll see.
A Razzle' Mr. Flamhaff?
Thank yoυ, Mrs. Flamhaff.