FILLMORE. I'M ON IT.
AND NOW, "FILLMORE!"
TODAY'S EPISODE --
"SOUTH OF FRIENDSHIP, NORTH OF HONOR."
THE WHOLE WEEK OFF.
I MIGHT DIE OF BOREDOM.
YOU COULD ALWAYS COME WITH ME TO VISIT WAYNE.
FILLMORE, YOU AND YOUR OLD PARTNER
HAVE A LOT OF CATCHING UP TO DO.
BESIDES, I HAVE TO HELP MY DAD.
HE'S WORKING ON A BIOGRAPHY
OF 17th-CENTURY MATHEMATICIAN TAKAKAZU SEKI.
I'LL BE TRANSLATING TOO MUCH JAPANESE TO BE BORED.
WELL, I, FOR ONE, PLAN ON HAVING ME A NICE, RELAXING VACATION.
YEE-HAW!
OH, YEAH.
A NICE...
RELAXING...
VACATION.
HA HA HA!
COME ON, BOY, THROW ME IF YOU CAN!
WHOO-WEE!
THAT'S RIGHT, BOY, DO IT!
SOOEY!
COME ON, BOY, KEEP GOING!
UGH!
TYLER, TYLER, TYLER.
WHAT IS THIS -- YOUR THIRD OFFENSE?
OH, IT'S MY FOURTH -- BUT WHO'S COUNTIN'?
WHO'S THIS, YOUR NEW PARTNER?
OLD PARTNER AND VISITING OFFICER CORNELIUS FILLMORE.
I ASKED HIM TO WALK MY BEAT WITH ME FOR OLD TIMES' SAKE.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
WE GOTTA GET TYLER BOOKED AND HARVEY BACK HOME
BEFORE WE'RE LATE FOR --
ROLL CALL!
'CEPT I DON'T SEE ANY CINNAMON ROLLS ON MY DESK.
WELL, WHOSE TURN WAS IT TO BRING 'EM?
JEETER.
OH, HOWDY, SHERIFF.
WHATCHA DOING THERE, SON?
OH, I WAS MAKING THIS BELT FOR JEREMIAH,
'CEPT HE'S KICKIN' LIKE A CAT IN A KETTLE.
WELL, I KNOW JUST WHAT TO DO ABOUT THAT.
REALLY, WHAT?
TAKE THAT BELT OFF THAT CUR AND FETCH ME SOME STICKY BUNS, BOY!
YES, SIR!
COMING RIGHT UP, SIR!
OH, SORRY!
YOU KNOW THE DRILL, TYLER.
PLANT IT.
I KNOW MY RIGHTS,
AND I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU'RE CHARGING ME WITH!
HOW 'BOUT JOYRIDING, WILLFUL DESTRUCTION OF SCHOOL PROPERTY,
AND GRAND THEFT OINKER.
DOG.
FILLMORE, WHAT'S WRONG, MAN?
DOG.
JEREMIAH, QUIT IT OUT!
SORRY ABOUT THAT, MISTER.
THAT DOG'S FRISKIER THAN A POSSUM IN A PUMPKIN PATCH.
YEAH, FRIENDLY.
NICE TO KNOW WAYNE'S FINALLY GOT HIMSELF A NEW PARTNER,
ESPECIALLY AFTER WHAT HAPPENED TO --
JEETER, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE JEREMIAH FOR A WALK...NOW.
RIGHT. COME ON, JEREMIAH.
WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT, MAN? NOTHING.
IT DIDN'T SOUND LIKE NOTHING.
LOOK, MAN, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
THIS IS THE NEW WING OF THE BUILDING, BUILT IN 1934 --
THAT'S CONSIDERED NEW AROUND HERE.
WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP ASKING IF I'M YOUR NEW PARTNER?
I MEAN, WHERE'S YOUR OLD ONE, MAN?
LOOK, EMILY QUIT, OKAY?
WAYNE, YOU'VE DROPPED ME EIGHT LETTERS SINCE YOU GOT HERE,
AND NEVER ONCE DID YOU TELL ME EMILY QUIT.
WHAT'S UP, MAN?
IT JUST...DIDN'T WORK OUT.
LISTEN, MAN, CAN WE LEAVE IT AT THAT?
EXCUSE ME, SON, I'LL BE TAKING THAT.
BUT...WHY?
SCHOOL CODE 42, SECTION B --
"NO ELECTRONIC GAMES ALLOWED AT SCHOOL
ON ALTERNATE TUESDAYS DURING MONTHS ENDING IN Y, R, L, OR Q."
HEY, WAYNE, WHAT'S UP WITH SCHOOL CODE 42, SECTION B?
MUST BE A NEW POLICY.
WAYNE!
LUCILLE! WHAT'S WRONG?
THE SEASON'S FIRST PRALINES --
THEY'VE BEEN STOLEN!
400 BOXES.
EVERYONE WHO SHOWS UP FOR THAT WASHBOARD RECITAL'S
GONNA EXPECT PRALINES -- EVERYONE!
AS PRINCIPAL OF THIS SCHOOL,
I ORDER YOU TO PUT ALL YOUR RESOURCES
TOWARDS SOLVING THIS CRIME.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND, PATROL SHERIFF THRIFT?
YES, SIR, COLONEL, SIR. GOOD.
THEN GET THOSE PRALINES BACK, YA HEAR?
SO WHAT'S THE SCORE ON THESE PRALINES?
THEY'RE CALLED "THE SEASON'S FIRST PRALINES" --
THE FRESHEST, TASTIEST PRALINES OF THE YEAR.
THE FACTORY IN TOWN DONATES THEM TO THE SCHOOL,
AND THE PRALINE COMMISSION SELLS THEM TO HELP RAISE FUNDS.
LEMME GUESS -- AT THE FIDDLE AND WASHBOARD RECITAL?
EXACTLY.
THEY'RE VALUABLE, WHICH IS WHY THEY LOCK THEM UP IN THIS VAULT.
THIS VAULT'S GOT NO WINDOWS, NO VENTS, NO NOTHING.
WHOEVER TOOK THEM HAD TO COME THROUGH THAT DOOR.
I WAS STANDING OUTSIDE THIS VAULT THE WHOLE TIME.
I SWEAR IT -- NOT A SOUL WENT THROUGH THAT DOOR.
ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE, TIME TO CLOSE UP SHOP.
SCHOOL HOURS IS OFFICIALLY OVER.
WHAT ABOUT CLUES?
I MEAN, WE DON'T GET 'EM NOW, WE MIGHT NOT GET 'EM AT ALL.
LOOK AROUND -- YOU SEE ANY CLUES?
THIS ROOM IS E-M-T-Y -- EMPTY!
BUT --
LIGGET, I HIGHLY SUGGEST YOU DEAL WITH YOUR...GUEST.
COME ON, FILLMORE,
IF THE PATROL SHERIFF SAYS IT'S QUITTING TIME,
WE QUIT.
WHERE'S MY GAME AT?
SOMETHIN' WRONG?
YOUR GAME -- LOOKS FAMILIAR.
SON, YOU GOTTA TAKE IT EASY 'ROUND THESE PARTS.
YOU'RE TOO UPTIGHT.
HERE, I GOT IT SET TO TWO-PLAYER.
WANNA TAKE IT FOR A TEST DRIVE?
I SEE -- TOO GOOD FOR A LITTLE FUN.
LOOK, WE DO THINGS A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT 'ROUND HERE.
YOUR FRIEND WAYNE OVER THERE UNDERSTANDS THAT.
I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU, OFFICER LIGGET,
FOR SAVING HARVEY FOR ME.
I'M SHOWING HIM OFF AT THE COUNTY FAIR THIS WEEKEND.
I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU.
YOU DON'T NEED TO THANK ME, CROCKETT, IT'S MY JOB.
OH, OH, OF COURSE, OFFICER, YOUR JOB --
I NEVER SAID IT WEREN'T.
COMIC BOOKS.
WELL, CROCKETT, THIS IS MIGHTY APPRECIATED.
ANYTIME, OFFICER, ANYTIME.
HEY, DON'T JUST STAND THERE -- GRAB AN APRON.
FILLMORE, I'M SORRY I DIDN'T TELL YOU ABOUT EMILY.
IS THAT THE ONLY THING YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME? COURSE.
THEN WHAT UP WITH THE WOLFGANG PUNK ROUTINE?
OH, I'M MAKING BAKLAVA FOR LUCILLE.
THIS WAY SHE'LL HAVE SOMETHING TO SELL AT THE FUND DRIVE.
WAYNE, YOU'RE A SAFETY PATROLLER, MAN,
AND YOUR BAKLAVA TASTES LIKE DOORSTOPS.
TRY DOING YOUR JOB AND FIND THE PRALINES.
I AM DOING MY JOB -- TO HELP THE SCHOOL.
BY TAKING GIFTS, MAN?
YOU GOT THE WRONG IDEA ABOUT THAT, FILLMORE.
I GOT IDEAS ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS AROUND HERE, WAYNE.
THINGS THAT MAKE ME THINK YOUR PATROL SHERIFF MIGHT BE CROOKED.
YOU'VE GOT TO UNDERSTAND, FILLMORE,
IT'S ALL DIFFERENT AROUND HERE.
MAN, YOU SOUND JUST LIKE THE PATROL SHERIFF WITH THAT.
MAYBE HE'S NOT THE ONLY CROOK ON THE FORCE.
YOU ACCUSING ME?
I'M NOT DIRTY, FILLMORE.
BUT ARE YOU CLEAN, MAN?
THERE'S A WAY OUT, WAYNE.
EXPOSE THE REST OF 'EM. I BET THEY TOOK THOSE PRALINES.
FIND 'EM AND BUST THEIR CON RIGHT OPEN.
I'VE TRIED. SO TRY AGAIN.
LOOK -- I'LL HELP YOU.
FILLMORE, THE LAST TIME SOMEONE HELPED ME,
IT GOT BAD -- REAL BAD.
EMILY.
THEY MADE HER LIFE SO MISERABLE SHE TRANSFERRED OUT.
SHE RISKED EVERYTHING TO HELP ME,
AND I GOT HER THROWN OFF THE FORCE.
SO QUIT THE FORCE. BRING 'EM DOWN FROM THE OUTSIDE.
IF I QUIT,
GUYS LIKE THAT PIG-KNAPPING TYLER WOULD TAKE OVER.
I CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN.
I MAY NOT BE MUCH, BUT I'M ALL THIS SCHOOL'S GOT.
SO YOU JUST KEEP QUIET, LOOK THE OTHER WAY, TAKE BRIBES.
I DO WHAT I HAVE TO DO.
YOU TAUGHT ME EVERYTHING I KNOW, WAYNE.
YOU'RE NOT JUST BY THE BOOK, MAN,
YOU WROTE THE BOOK.
TRY READING IT ONCE IN A WHILE.
MAN, YOU CAN REALLY DISH IT, FILLMORE.
DID IT WORK?
YOU KNEW IT WOULD.
BUT WHY'D YOU BOTHER?
BEFORE I MET YOU, I WAS A STRAIGHT-UP THUG.
YOU DRAFTED ME INTO THE SAFETY PATROL
AND HELPED TURN IT AROUND FOR ME.
YOU SAVED ME ONCE, MAN.
I FIGURED IT WAS MY TURN TO EVEN THE SCORE.
LET'S FIND THOSE PRALINES.
I THINK I KNOW WHERE TO START LOOKING.
THE PATROL SHERIFF AND HIS CRONIES
HAVE THEIR OWN PRIVATE CLUBHOUSE DOWN BY THE BONEYARD.
NOW THE BIG QUESTION -- WHY WOULD THEY TAKE THE PRALINES?
MONEY.
THE SHERIFF HAS A TASTE FOR VIDEO GAMES.
THE SHACK IS JUST UP AHEAD -- BY THE LAKE.
NO LOCK? NO NEED.
NO ONE CROSSES THE PATROL SHERIFF.
SOMEONE BUGGIN' IN ART CLASS?
IT'S NOT AN ART PROJECT. IT'S CANDY.
YOU KNOW GOLIATH, THE BIG KID ON THE FORCE, DOESN'T SAY MUCH?
MAKING CREEPY CANDY IS HIS HOBBY.
WEIRD HOBBY.
WEIRD KID.
SO IF THAT'S CANDY,
THEN THIS IS...FOOD COLORING.
HUH, LOOK AT THAT --
IT'S THE SCHOOL'S LOGO,
BUT I DON'T RECOGNIZE THIS OTHER BRAND.
SPLIT UP.
UGH!
THIS WAY!
DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY!
I THINK I SEE SOMETHING!
THANKS.
LOOKS LIKE THEY'VE GOT US SURROUNDED.
NOT FOR LONG. GIMME YOUR FLASHLIGHT.
THEY'RE MAKING A BREAK FOR IT!
SOMEONE'S ONTO US.
WE BETTER SOLVE THIS ONE DOUBLE-TIME.
WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BRING 'EM THIS TIME?
GOLIATH? JEETER?
I-IT WAS ME.
I FORGOT.
HOT DIGGITY, IT WEREN'T ME!
WELL, JEREMIAH THINKS YOU GOT SOMETHING TASTY IN YOUR PACK.
MAYBE YOU'RE HOLDING ON TO THE CINNAMON BUNS ALL FOR YOURSELF!
WHOA, WHAT YOU GOT IN HERE, BOY, A LOAD OF BRICKS?
UH, SORRY ABOUT THE CINNAMON BUNS.
HMM.
I'VE SEEN THIS BRAND BEFORE.
OH, HERE IT IS.
THIS BRICK WAS PRIMARILY USED IN CONSTRUCTING UNDERGROUND SEWERS.
YEAH, LOTS OF SCHOOLS HAD SEWERS BACK IN THEM DAYS,
BUT NOBODY USES THEM ANYMORE.
THEY SAY THEY'RE FULL OF ALLIGATORS.
COULD THE PRALINES BE HIDDEN IN THE SEWERS?
CHECK IT OUT -- SEWERS RUN UNDER THE WHOLE SCHOOL.
UNDER THE HOME EC ROOM, THE AUDITORIUM, EVEN --
UNDER THE VAULT.
HOW DO WE GET IN?
I MEAN, THE VAULT'S GOT 10 LOCKS ON IT.
NO PROBLEM -- SENIORITY.
SAYS HERE THAT THE OPENING TO THE TUNNELS
IS RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM.
SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT.
THIS ROOM IS SUPPOSED TO BE A PERFECT SQUARE --
12 FEET BY 12 FEET --
BUT IT'S ABOUT 3 INCHES OFF.
CHECK THIS OUT.
IT'S LOOSE!
WHAT'S UP WITH THIS?
ALL OF 'EM ARE LOOSE!
BETTER LET ME GO FIRST.
YOU SEE ANYTHING?
WATER.
THIS WOULDN'T BE THE BEST PLACE TO STASH THE PRALINES.
THEY COULD HAVE BROUGHT THE PRALINES DOWN HERE,
THEN HAULED THEM -- SNAPS!
NICE RAFT.
Officer Ligget, get over here!
YOU'RE DRIPPING ON MY FLOOR.
WHAT'S YOUR DAMAGE, THRIFT?
YOU!
YOU ARE IN VIOLATION OF SCHOOL CODE 78, SECTION C-7 --
KEEPING PERSONAL PHOTOGRAPHS ON YOUR DESK.
THAT BEARS A 10-WEEK DETENTION SENTENCE...AND YOUR BADGE.
WHAT?! STRIP IT OFF AND HAND IT OVER!
YOU ARE OUTTA HERE,
AND YOU AIN'T NEVER COMING BACK!
WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU TODAY, OFFICER FILLMORE?
I'LL BE QUICK, SIR.
I HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE THAT OFFICER WAYNE LIGGET
WAS THROWN OFF THE SAFETY PATROL UNDER FALSE PRETENSES.
OH, AND WHY DO YOU THINK OFFICER LIGGET
WAS SO UNJUSTLY TERMINATED?
WELL, SIR, WE BELIEVE THAT PATROL SHERIFF THRIFT
AND HIS CREW STOLE THOSE PRALINES.
WAYNE WAS JUST TRYING TO FIND 'EM.
HMM. THOSE ARE SOME SERIOUS ACCUSATIONS
TO BE THROWING AROUND ALL WILLY-NILLY.
DON'T SUPPOSE YOU'D HAVE ANY EVIDENCE?
STILL WORKING ON IT, SIR,
BUT MY GUT SAYS THE PATROL SHERIFF'S DIRTY.
WELL, IS THAT A FACT?
WELL, I'M AFRAID YOUR GUT FEELING AIN'T QUITE ENOUGH --
ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE GONNA ACCUSE MY SON!
WE CAN'T LET THEM GET AWAY WITH THIS.
THEY'VE WON, FILLMORE.
COME ON, MAN, ACT LIKE YOURSELF.
LIKE MYSELF?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS ANYMORE.
WELL, I DO.
AW, COME ON, MAN. YOU ARE OFFICER WAYNE LIGGET.
THE GUY WHO BLEW THE LID OFF
THE SNEAKER SOLE CHEAT SHEET CONSPIRACY.
THE GUY THAT PERSONALLY HELPED EVERY KID WITH A LOST RETAINER
DIG THROUGH THE TRASH.
THE GUY WHO EVERYONE TRUSTS AND RESPECTS
'CAUSE THEY KNOW HE ALWAYS DOES THE RIGHT THING.
THAT WAS THE OLD OFFICER.
LIGGET!
VISITING HOUR IS OVER.
TYLER? OFFICER TYLER.
JUST JOINED.
SEE?
IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE.
GO HOME, FILLMORE.
THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO.
OKEYDOKEY, JEREMIAH, MAKE LIKE AN APPLE AND TURN OVER!
HEY, JEETER.
OH, THE PATROL SHERIFF DONE TOLD US
WE AIN'T SUPPOSED TO TALK TO YOU NO MORE
'CAUSE YOU AND WAYNE ARE A COUPLE OF NO-ACCOUNT VARMINTS.
I REALLY LIKED WAYNE --
I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S A NO-ACCOUNT VARMINT.
MAYBE THE PATROL SHERIFF MADE A MISTAKE.
MAYBE YOU CAN HELP ME PROVE THAT WAYNE'S INNOCENT.
I CAN? MAYBE.
ON THE DAY OF THE PRALINE THEFT,
DID YOU HAPPEN TO SEE THE PATROL SHERIFF
HANGING AROUND ANYWHERE WEIRD?
WELL, SIR, I REMEMBER THAT WAS THE DAY
ME MA MADE MY FAVORITE SANDWICH --
ONION AND MAYONNAISE.
BUT I COULDN'T KEEP MY LUNCH ANYWHERE NEAR THE HEADQUARTERS
ON ACCOUNT OF THE PATROL SHERIFF
IS ALWAYS SQUAWKING ABOUT THE ONION STANK.
JEETER.
I SAW HIM NEAR THE JANITOR'S CLOSET.
YOU'RE SURE, NOW,
THIS IS WHERE YOU RAN INTO THE PATROL SHERIFF AND GOLIATH
ON THE DAY THE PRALINES WERE STOLEN?
YES, SIR.
A PAINT SPRAYER?
YOU THINKIN' OF DOIN' SOME CLEANIN'?
YEAH, CLEANIN' HOUSE.
I KNOW YOU TOOK THOSE PRALINES.
IF YOU KNOW SO MUCH,
WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO AND TELL THE COLONEL?
THERE'S A TRAIN LEAVING IN HALF-HOUR --
YOU'RE GONNA BE ON IT!
THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.
AND JUST SO YOU KNOW THERE AIN'T NO HARD FEELINGS,
TAKE THIS AND GO HOME.
SO IF THAT'S CANDY, THEN THIS IS FOOD COLORING.
A PAINT SPRAYER?
THIS ROOM IS SUPPOSED TO BE A PERFECT SQUARE,
BUT IT'S ABOUT THREE INCHES OFF.
YO, CABBIE, TURN THIS BABY AROUND!
JEREMIAH, GET BACK IN HERE!
JEETER, I NEED YOUR HELP.
BUT THE PATROL SHERIFF --
LOOK, THE PATROL SHERIFF'S CROOKED.
I'M BRINGING HIM DOWN, MAN.
NOW YOU CAN HELP, OR YOU CAN GO DOWN WITH HIM.
I'LL HELP -- WHATCHA NEED?
KEYS TO THE VAULT -- CAN YOU GET 'EM?
THE PATROL SHERIFF'S GONNA BE MADDER
THAN A HORNET IN A HURRICANE
WHEN HE FINDS OUT I TOOK HIS SPARE KEYS!
OH, THE WALL -- IT'S A-COMING DOWN!
TOO LIGHT TO BE A BRICK.
MM-MMM, MM-MM-MMM!
MAN, I GOTTA TELL YA,
THEY WEREN'T JUST WHISTLING DIXIE ABOUT THESE PRALINES!
CONGRATULATIONS, OFFICER,
YOU'VE SOLVED THE CRIME.
TOO BAD YOU AIN'T STICKIN' AROUND LONG ENOUGH
TO TELL ANYONE.
JEETER, GET TO DETENTION!
I'LL DEAL WITH YOU LATER.
NOW, SEEING AS HOW YOU LIKE TO CRAWL THROUGH THE SEWERS,
HOW'S ABOUT YOU GET ON IN THERE!
WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING ON DOIN'?
MY FAVORITE SPORT -- VARMINT HUNTING!
WHATCHA READING THERE?
I SAID, "WHATCHA READING THERE?"
WAYNE, FILLMORE NEEDS YOUR HELP!
HE'S IN TROUBLE!
IT AIN'T VISITING HOURS!
FILLMORE'S IN TROUBLE? SHOW ME.
YOU AIN'T GOING NOWHERE, LIGGET!
HEY!
THESE TUNNELS GO FOR MILES -- RIGHT OUTTA TOWN --
AND YOU'RE GOING WITH 'EM!
WHAT WAS THAT?!
GATOR!
AAAH!
WHAT IN SAM HILL'S WRONG WITH YOU?
YELLOW COWARDS -- THIS CROC'S A CROCK!
LOOKS LIKE IT'S JUST YOU AND ME.
YOUR PLAN WAS CLEVER --
USING FOOD COLORING INSTEAD OF PAINT
SO THE PRALINES WOULDN'T SMELL LIKE FUMES.
SO TELL ME THIS, THRIFT --
WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO STACK THE BOXES LIKE BRICKS
TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THEY WERE STOLEN,
WHEN THEY WERE IN THE VAULT ALL ALONG?
MOST ALL THE GOOD IDEAS ARE MINE.
HECK, THOSE DIMWITS WOULD HAVE NEVER THOUGHT
TO TAKE THE PRALINES IN THE FIRST PLACE IF IT WASN'T FOR ME!
I GOT ALL THE UNDERGROUND CONNECTIONS
FOR SELLIN' 'EM, TOO.
WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
WOOFERS -- GOTTA LOVE 'EM.
WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITH YOU, BOY?!
YOU HAVE SOILED THE THRIFT FAMILY NAME!
FIVE YEARS AT A MILITARY SCHOOL OUGHTA SET YOU RIGHT!
WAYNE, GUESS YOU SAVED ME, MAN.
JUST RETURNING THE FAVOR.
AS CHAIRWOMAN OF THE PRALINE COMMITTEE,
IT IS MY GREAT HONOR TO PRESENT TO ALL OF Y'ALL,
MACLUHAN MIDDLE SCHOOL'S NEW PATROL SHERIFF,
OFFICER WAYNE LIGGET!
YEE-HAW! YEE-HAW! YEE-HAW! YEE-HAW!
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