1
00:00:01,461 --> 00:00:03,421
FILLMORE.
I'M ON IT.

2
00:01:03,648 --> 00:01:05,608
AND NOW "FILLMORE."

3
00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:10,029
TODAY'S EPISODE...
"THIS SAVIOR, A SNITCH?"

4
00:01:13,699 --> 00:01:16,619
TODAY WASN'T
SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS.

5
00:01:16,702 --> 00:01:19,330
I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE
PROTECTING A PETTY THIEF.

6
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,791
I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE
RUNNING FROM THUGS

7
00:01:21,874 --> 00:01:23,376
THROUGH A CUSTARD WAR.

8
00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:25,628
AND I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE
ACCUSED OF A CRIME

9
00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:27,171
I ONLY KIND OF COMMITTED.

10
00:01:28,798 --> 00:01:31,551
UH, JAMIE, WHAT'S WITH
THE MAC-AND-JACK ATTACK, MAN?

11
00:01:31,634 --> 00:01:33,594
THE MAC AND CHEESE
IS A LITTLE GIFT

12
00:01:33,678 --> 00:01:35,805
FROM MY NEW STUDENT
CATERING COMPANY --

13
00:01:35,888 --> 00:01:38,224
JAMIE TOWNSEND'S
TOP OF THE CLASS CATERING.

14
00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:40,810
IT'S FOR STUDENTS TOO BUSY
MAKING A DIFFERENCE AT X

15
00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:42,228
TO GET TO THE CAFETORIUM.

16
00:01:42,311 --> 00:01:44,105
STUDENTS LIKE YOU SAFETY
PATROLLERS --

17
00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:46,732
YOU KNOW, THE PEOPLE THAT
REALLY MATTER AROUND HERE.

18
00:01:46,816 --> 00:01:48,276
EVERYBODY MATTERS, JAMIE.

19
00:01:48,359 --> 00:01:49,777
UH-HUH.
WELL, ENJOY!

20
00:01:49,861 --> 00:01:52,321
THAT'S A GALLON OF HEAVY CREAM
IN THERE!

21
00:01:52,405 --> 00:01:54,323
THAT'S A WHOLE LOT OF MAC.

22
00:01:54,407 --> 00:01:56,617
NOT FOR LONG.

23
00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:05,751
FILLMORE, THIRD, WE JUST GOT
AN ANONYMOUS TIP

24
00:02:05,835 --> 00:02:08,337
THERE'S GONNA BE ANOTHER
LUNCH-BAG SHAKEDOWN

25
00:02:08,421 --> 00:02:10,381
BETWEEN THIRD
AND FOURTH PERIOD.

26
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:11,507
LET'S GO.

27
00:02:11,591 --> 00:02:13,134
OH. UH.

28
00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:15,386
CAN I SIT THIS ONE OUT,
VALLEJO?

29
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,305
CAN YOU SIT THIS ONE --

30
00:02:17,388 --> 00:02:20,057
FOLSOM IS THIS CLOSE TO TURNING
THIS OFFICE INTO A MINERAL SPA

31
00:02:20,141 --> 00:02:21,601
IF WE DON'T BAG THESE DUCKS!

32
00:02:21,684 --> 00:02:23,352
AND YOU WANT TO WARM THE BENCH?

33
00:02:23,436 --> 00:02:26,564
LISTEN, I KNOW.
IT'S JUST THIS MAC AND CHEESE.

34
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,399
IT'S SITTING LIKE A BRICK.

35
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:31,360
MEANWHILE, SOME POOR
SIXTH GRADER'S BEING BULLIED

36
00:02:31,444 --> 00:02:32,820
OUT OF HIS EGG SALAD!

37
00:02:32,904 --> 00:02:35,156
AS SAFETY PATROLLERS,
IT'S OUR DUTY...

38
00:02:35,239 --> 00:02:37,408
TO ASSIST AND PROTECT
ALL STUDENTS.

39
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:39,702
YOU'RE RIGHT.

40
00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:42,580
DOG. HEAVY CREAM.

41
00:02:45,625 --> 00:02:48,544
PASTA COMING AT YOU!

42
00:02:49,795 --> 00:02:53,299
WE'RE HERE LIVE FOR THE PASTA
MASTERPIECE ART EXTRAVAGANZA

43
00:02:53,382 --> 00:02:55,468
WITH OFFICER
CORNELIUS FILLMORE.

44
00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:56,886
JAMIE TOWNSEND

45
00:02:56,969 --> 00:02:59,347
OF JAMIE TOWNSEND'S
TOP OF THE CLASS CATERING

46
00:02:59,430 --> 00:03:02,391
TELLS OUR SOURCES THAT YOU
SIMPLY LOVE MACARONI!

47
00:03:02,475 --> 00:03:05,061
RIGHT NOW,
I HATE THE STUFF.

48
00:03:05,144 --> 00:03:06,270
PHASE TWO.

49
00:03:09,357 --> 00:03:10,733
It's quiet here.

50
00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:12,735
Anything on your end,
Fillmore?

51
00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:13,945
NOTHING.

52
00:03:14,028 --> 00:03:15,321
UNLESS YOU COUNT MY STOMACH
RUMBLING.

53
00:03:16,656 --> 00:03:18,991
I THINK OUR ANONYMOUS TIP
WAS WHACK.

54
00:03:19,075 --> 00:03:20,326
SEE YOU BACK AT HQ?

55
00:03:20,409 --> 00:03:21,410
10-4.

56
00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:24,413
HELP!

57
00:03:24,497 --> 00:03:25,498
IT'S ON.

58
00:03:27,667 --> 00:03:30,378
SOMEBODY, HELP!

59
00:03:30,461 --> 00:03:33,089
DROP THE SACK, McALLISTER!
X MIDDLE SCHOOL SAFETY!

60
00:03:41,681 --> 00:03:44,267
NO, MY BOOK
HAS MORE CHARACTERS.

61
00:03:44,350 --> 00:03:46,686
HEY!
WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?!

62
00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:55,486
STUDENTS AND MEMBERS
OF THE PRESS,

63
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:59,782
WELCOME TO THIS YEAR'S PASTA
MASTERPIECE COMPETITION.

64
00:03:59,865 --> 00:04:03,327
AS THIS YEAR'S JUDGE,
I AM PROUD TO ANNOUNCE

65
00:04:03,411 --> 00:04:06,414
OUR FIRST-PLACE WINNER,
FRANKIE POLK.

66
00:04:10,376 --> 00:04:12,461
HEY, BE THE FIRST ONE
TO GO BACKSTAGE

67
00:04:12,545 --> 00:04:14,880
AND SEE FRANKIE POLK'S
PRIZEWINNING SCULPTURE.

68
00:04:14,964 --> 00:04:16,007
ONLY FIVE CLAMS.

69
00:04:16,090 --> 00:04:17,508
DO YOU TAKE CUSTARD?

70
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:20,303
GET THAT SLOP AWAY FROM ME!

71
00:04:20,386 --> 00:04:22,763
CUSTARD GIVES ME
PAINFUL HIVES.

72
00:04:22,847 --> 00:04:25,141
PLUS, IT DON'T CASH TOO WELL
AT THE BANK, SEE.

73
00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:26,475
OUT OF THE WAY, ROACH.

74
00:04:26,559 --> 00:04:29,103
HEY, IT'S 5 BUCKS
TO...MORROW.

75
00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:32,565
BUT TODAY A V.I.P. ENTRY
ON THE HOUSE.

76
00:04:35,026 --> 00:04:37,903
HEY, HOW COME
HE GOT IN FREE?

77
00:04:37,987 --> 00:04:39,113
GET IN?

78
00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:42,450
HEY, HEY.
NO ONE'S ALLOWED BACKSTAGE.

79
00:04:42,533 --> 00:04:45,119
I-IN FACT, I'M HERE
GUARDING THE DOOR...

80
00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:46,620
FOR THE SAFETY PATROL.

81
00:04:46,704 --> 00:04:48,622
OH, HELLO,
OFFICER FILLMORE.

82
00:04:48,706 --> 00:04:51,584
TAKE OFF, AUGIE.
I'VE GOT BIGGER FISH TO FRY.

83
00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:55,338
AND YOU -- YOU'RE JUST
A SHRIMP ON THE BARBIE, BABY.

84
00:04:55,421 --> 00:04:57,131
SURE THING,
OFFICER FILLMORE.

85
00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:58,841
THE LONG AND PROUD TRADITION

86
00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:00,217
IN THE PASTA ARTS...

87
00:05:00,301 --> 00:05:01,594
I SAW YOU COME IN HERE,
McALLISTER.

88
00:05:01,677 --> 00:05:04,472
YOUR LUNCH-BAG STEALING SPREE
IS OVER.

89
00:05:04,555 --> 00:05:07,683
NOTHING'S DONE TILL YOU
CATCH ME, CHUMP.

90
00:05:07,767 --> 00:05:10,144
THIS YEAR'S WINNER,
FRANKIE POLK,

91
00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:13,981
HAS MANAGED TO CAPTURE DIGNITY,
POWER, GRACE, AND BEAUTY

92
00:05:14,065 --> 00:05:17,693
IN NOTHING BUT 12,000 PIECES
OF PASTA.

93
00:05:17,777 --> 00:05:19,695
BEFORE WE UNVEIL
HIS MASTERPIECE,

94
00:05:19,779 --> 00:05:21,197
ARE THERE ANY QUESTIONS?

95
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:23,532
PRINCIPAL FOLSOM,
HOW DO YOU PLAN TO DEAL

96
00:05:23,616 --> 00:05:26,619
WITH THE EPIDEMIC OF LUNCH THEFT
CURRENTLY HITTING X?

97
00:05:26,702 --> 00:05:29,538
VERN, WE'RE HERE TO HONOR
THE TALENT AND HARD WORK

98
00:05:29,622 --> 00:05:32,875
OF X's PASTA ARTISTS,
NOT TO DISCUSS SCHOOL POLICY.

99
00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:36,045
BUT, PRINCIPAL FOLSOM,
MY READERS WANT ANSWERS!

100
00:05:36,128 --> 00:05:37,963
THEN TELL YOUR READERS THIS --

101
00:05:38,047 --> 00:05:41,384
AS A DETERRENT TO ANY FUTURE
HOOLIGANISM IN OUR HALLWAYS,

102
00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:42,760
I HAVE INITIATED

103
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,970
A "THREE STRIKES YOU'RE
EXPELLED" POLICY,

104
00:05:45,054 --> 00:05:46,639
A MOVE UP FROM THE PREVIOUS

105
00:05:46,722 --> 00:05:49,350
"TWO STRIKES
AND YOU'RE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE."

106
00:05:52,812 --> 00:05:55,231
FACE IT, McALLISTER,
YOU'RE BUSTED.

107
00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:58,067
I HEAR YOU USED TO RUN
WITH THE BAD BOYS, SASHY.

108
00:05:58,150 --> 00:06:00,319
I NEVER FIGURED YOU
TO BE THAT COOL.

109
00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:02,571
SOME CALL IT COOL.
I CALL IT STUPID.

110
00:06:02,655 --> 00:06:05,491
STUPID ENOUGH TO GET A FEW
STRIKES ON YOUR RECORD?

111
00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:07,827
TAKING YOU DOWN
IS A HOME RUN, BABY.

112
00:06:07,910 --> 00:06:10,246
I THINK THE ORANGE
HAS MADE YOU SOFT.

113
00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:11,747
FROM WHAT I HEAR,

114
00:06:11,831 --> 00:06:14,250
YOU PATROLLERS SIT AROUND
MUNCHING MAC ALL DAY.

115
00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:15,334
UGH!

116
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,550
MAN, GET THIS STUFF
AWAY FROM ME.

117
00:06:22,633 --> 00:06:23,551
UGH!

118
00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:24,969
WHAT NOW, SASHY?

119
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:27,930
BUST ME OR SAVE THE STATUE
OF PRINCIPAL FOLSOM?

120
00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:29,140
THIS ISN'T OVER!

121
00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:31,434
WANNA BET?

122
00:06:31,517 --> 00:06:33,352
STRIKE THREE.

123
00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:36,897
PRINCIPAL FOLSOM,

124
00:06:36,981 --> 00:06:39,900
DO YOU REALLY PLAN TO BACK UP
THIS THREE-STRIKES RULE?

125
00:06:39,984 --> 00:06:44,530
READ MY LIPS, VERN.
I NEVER GO BACK ON MY WORD.

126
00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:49,452
NOW PLEASE BRING OUT THE WINNING
PASTA MASTERPIECE!

127
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:05,843
WOW.
HE REALLY HATES MACARONI.

128
00:07:08,304 --> 00:07:10,222
DOG.

129
00:07:10,306 --> 00:07:13,726
DOES FILLMORE HATE ART
OR MACARONI?

130
00:07:13,809 --> 00:07:15,519
THAT WAS PLEASANT.

131
00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:19,023
LET'S SEE
WHAT'S IN THE NEWS TODAY.

132
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:21,400
AND WHAT'S THIS HEADLINE?

133
00:07:21,484 --> 00:07:23,360
"FILLMORE --
'I HATE MACARONI.'"

134
00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:26,280
PRINCIPAL FOLSOM, I TOLD YOU.
I WAS ABOUT TO BUST...

135
00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:27,406
SCOOTER McALLISTER?

136
00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:28,991
HE SAYS HE WAS HELPING BUILD

137
00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:31,202
THE ROCK-CLIMBING CLUB'S
NEW ROCK WALL

138
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:32,786
ON THE SOUTH SIDE OF SCHOOL.

139
00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:34,330
BUT JAMIE TOWNSEND --

140
00:07:34,413 --> 00:07:37,500
SAYS HE DIDN'T SEE YOU
OR WHO WAS BULLYING HIM.

141
00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:39,835
THIS IS NOT GOING DOWN
LIKE THIS.

142
00:07:39,919 --> 00:07:42,171
OH, I'M AFRAID IT IS.
RAYCLIFF!

143
00:07:42,254 --> 00:07:43,672
"CORNELIUS FILLMORE,

144
00:07:43,756 --> 00:07:45,716
"EIGHT PREVIOUS COUNTS
OF JUVENILE DELINQUENCY,

145
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:48,469
"INCLUDING CHALK BOOSTING,
A COMIC-BOOK POKER RING,

146
00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:50,012
THE GYMNASIUM CHILI SPILL" --

147
00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:52,515
LISTEN, THAT WAS
A LONG TIME AGO.

148
00:07:52,598 --> 00:07:54,308
AND A LONG TIME AGO,

149
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:58,062
I ATE TWO QUARTS OF ROCKY ROAD
AFTER AN UNFORTUNATE BREAKUP,

150
00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,897
AND IT'S STILL ON MY HIPS!

151
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:03,108
THE PAST DOESN'T DISAPPEAR,
OFFICER FILLMORE.

152
00:08:03,192 --> 00:08:06,362
AND IF IT WASN'T FOR YOUR
IRRATIONAL HATRED OF MACARONI,

153
00:08:06,445 --> 00:08:08,197
THIS WOULD NEVER HAVE HAPPENED.

154
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:09,949
I DON'T HATE --

155
00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:12,243
PRINCIPAL FOLSOM, LOOK,
I WAS SET UP.

156
00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:14,703
JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE
TO CLEAR MY NAME.

157
00:08:14,787 --> 00:08:18,040
I'VE SCHEDULED A STUDENT-COUNCIL
HEARING ON THE MATTER

158
00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:19,500
THIS AFTERNOON.

159
00:08:19,583 --> 00:08:21,877
BRING ME PROOF THAT YOU WERE
AFTER SCOOTER,

160
00:08:21,961 --> 00:08:24,421
AND THE THIRD STRIKE
WILL BE ERASED.

161
00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:26,215
OTHERWISE, I CAN'T HELP YOU.

162
00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:28,092
I GAVE MY WORD THAT I'D BACK UP

163
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,844
THE "THREE STRIKES
YOU'RE EXPELLED" POLICY,

164
00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:32,137
AND I NEVER GO BACK ON MY WORD.

165
00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:42,856
SAY IT AIN'T SO, FILLMORE.
SAY IT AIN'T SO.

166
00:08:42,940 --> 00:08:43,941
IT AIN'T SO.

167
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,234
REALLY?

168
00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:47,528
TELL ME YOU DIDN'T PUSH
THAT STATUE, FILLMORE.

169
00:08:54,410 --> 00:08:57,496
JAMIE, YOU SAW ME OUT THERE.
BACK ME UP, MAN.

170
00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:59,456
I'M SORRY, OFFICER FILLMORE.

171
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:02,710
BUT I ONLY SAW YOU IN FRONT
OF THE CAFETORIUM.

172
00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:04,420
I'VE GIVEN MY STATEMENT.

173
00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:07,214
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED
BACKSTAGE.

174
00:09:11,427 --> 00:09:13,012
JAMIE REMEMBER ANYTHING?

175
00:09:13,095 --> 00:09:16,307
OH, HE REMEMBERS, BUT
HE'S TOO AFRAID TO HELP ME.

176
00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:18,642
McALLISTER MUST HAVE
GOT TO HIM.

177
00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:20,477
WHERE IS OFFICER FILLMORE?

178
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:24,565
FRANKIE, CHECK IT OUT, MAN.
I'M SORRY ABOUT THE STATUE.

179
00:09:24,648 --> 00:09:25,733
WHAT?

180
00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:28,277
OH, ACTUALLY I WAS
QUITE IMPRESSED

181
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,488
WITH YOUR REBELLIOUS ACT
OF DECONSTRUCTIONISM.

182
00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:32,823
THEN...WHAT'S WRONG?

183
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,116
THIS.

184
00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:36,744
AUGIE SANSOME IS SELLING
OFFICIAL MACARONI PIECES

185
00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:38,662
OF THE DESTROYED FOLSOM
STATUE.

186
00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:41,874
HAH! I WOULD NEVER USE
SUCH A LOW-GRADE PASTA.

187
00:09:41,957 --> 00:09:43,042
AUGIE.

188
00:09:43,125 --> 00:09:45,502
YEAH, SOUNDS LIKE ONE
OF AUGIE'S CONS.

189
00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:46,879
NO, AUGIE SAW ME.

190
00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:49,340
HE WAS RIGHT OUTSIDE
THE BACKSTAGE DOOR.

191
00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:50,924
I'D FORGOTTEN ABOUT HIM.

192
00:09:51,008 --> 00:09:52,426
MAYBE SCOOTER DID, TOO.

193
00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:55,471
FRANKIE, WHERE'S HE SELLING
THIS STUFF?

194
00:09:55,554 --> 00:09:56,764
IF ONLY I KNEW.

195
00:09:56,847 --> 00:09:59,642
BUT THE HALLWAYS
ARE REPLETE WITH IT.

196
00:09:59,725 --> 00:10:02,311
NOT MUCH TO GO ON.
WAIT.

197
00:10:03,562 --> 00:10:05,481
SMELLS LIKE...APPLES.

198
00:10:05,564 --> 00:10:09,109
DISCO. LET'S CHECK
THE APPLE ORCHARD.

199
00:10:09,193 --> 00:10:12,237
THANK YOU, OFFICER FILLMORE.

200
00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:14,365
THIS MAY BE THE BEST CON YET.

201
00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:17,618
LOOKS LIKE WE GOT YOU OVER
A BARREL, AUGIE.

202
00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:20,454
HEY, OFFICER FILLMORE!
THIS? UH...

203
00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:24,249
I'M TAKING THE WORMS OUT
OF THESE GRANNY SMITHS

204
00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:28,170
FOR MY, UH, GRANNY SMITH...
WEATHERBY...SANSOME.

205
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:29,838
I GOT SOMETHING ELSE
YOU CAN DO.

206
00:10:29,922 --> 00:10:31,423
YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE

207
00:10:31,507 --> 00:10:33,425
WHO SAW WHAT WENT DOWN
BACKSTAGE YESTERDAY, MAN.

208
00:10:33,509 --> 00:10:35,511
I WANT YOU TO TESTIFY
THAT I WAS CHASING SCOOTER.

209
00:10:35,594 --> 00:10:38,555
YEAH, I'D LIKE TO,
BUT I GOT A MANICURE BOOKED.

210
00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:40,224
THEN WE'RE TAKING YOU IN.

211
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:41,558
HEY, COME ON!

212
00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:43,894
I WAS JUST BUSTING YOUR CHOPS,
OFFICERS.

213
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:46,230
GO AHEAD.
SET ME UP ON THAT STAND.

214
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:48,899
I'LL SING FOR YOU
LIKE MY MAMA'S CANARY.

215
00:10:51,527 --> 00:10:55,280
HA HA HA HA!
MY MAMA AIN'T GOT A CANARY!

216
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,840
HEY, OUR RED DELICIOUS!

217
00:11:12,923 --> 00:11:14,091
MY WHEELBARROW!

218
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,926
SAFETY PATROL EMERGENCY!

219
00:11:30,816 --> 00:11:32,192
MAN.

220
00:11:32,276 --> 00:11:34,570
NOBODY DESERVES
THAT KIND OF WIPEOUT.

221
00:11:34,653 --> 00:11:37,489
WE NEED THE SCHOOL NURSE
AT THE ORCHARD, STAT.

222
00:11:40,576 --> 00:11:42,202
THE OL' BAIT AND SWITCH.

223
00:11:42,286 --> 00:11:44,621
WELL, IF IT AIN'T
AUGIE SANSOME.

224
00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:47,624
I HEARD YOU WERE OUT
AT THE APPLE ORCHARD.

225
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:49,793
YEAH, APPLE A DAY
AND STUFF.

226
00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:51,462
YOU GOT SOME NICE MOVES.

227
00:11:51,545 --> 00:11:54,381
YOU KNOW, THERE MAY BE SOME
ROOM IN OUR ORGANIZATION

228
00:11:54,465 --> 00:11:57,342
FOR A LITTLE WEASELLY KID
WHO CAN RIDE A WHEELBARROW.

229
00:11:57,426 --> 00:11:58,844
GREAT, GREAT.

230
00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:01,096
UM, I'LL PENCIL YOU GUYS IN
FOR SOMETIME NEXT WEEK.

231
00:12:01,180 --> 00:12:04,349
I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND.
IT'S NOT A CHOICE.

232
00:12:04,433 --> 00:12:05,934
SEE? WE CAN'T HAVE YOU

233
00:12:06,018 --> 00:12:08,771
TALKING AT THAT
STUDENT-COUNCIL HEARING.

234
00:12:08,854 --> 00:12:11,064
LOOK!
YOUR FAVORITE CELEBRITY!

235
00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:16,320
EVEN IF YOU DO GET TO THAT
HEARING IN ONE PIECE,

236
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:18,405
WHAT DO YOU THINK'S
GONNA HAPPEN

237
00:12:18,489 --> 00:12:21,283
WHEN EVERYONE FINDS OUT
YOU'RE A LOUSY SNITCH?!

238
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:24,828
SNAP. HE'S SLICKER
THAN I THOUGHT.

239
00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:26,121
WHAT NOW?

240
00:12:26,205 --> 00:12:28,207
OFFICER FILLMORE!
YOU GOT TO PROTECT ME!

241
00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:29,917
LET'S MAKE A DEAL.

242
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:33,086
YOU TESTIFY AT THE HEARING
THAT YOU SAW ME CHASING SCOOTER,

243
00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:34,713
AND WE'LL KEEP YOU SAFE.

244
00:12:34,797 --> 00:12:38,258
UNH-UNH. NO GO, "OSSIFER."
I'M ALREADY A NOBODY AT X.

245
00:12:38,342 --> 00:12:40,886
BUT I GOT MY ANGLE.
IT WORKS FOR ME.

246
00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:44,097
PEOPLE FIND OUT I'M A SNITCH,
AND THAT'S OVER.

247
00:12:44,181 --> 00:12:47,351
NOBODY'S A NOBODY, MAN.
EVERYBODY MATTERS FOR SOMETHING.

248
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:50,395
YOU WANT TO BE SOMEBODY,
YOU GOT TO STEP UP, AUGIE.

249
00:12:50,479 --> 00:12:53,357
START CARING ABOUT PEEPS
OTHER THAN YOURSELF, DOG.

250
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,526
THERE'S A PENNY FOR YOUR
THOUGHTS.

251
00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:57,653
NEXT TIME,
KEEP THEM TO YOURSELF.

252
00:12:57,736 --> 00:12:59,696
THEN KEEP CHOOSING
TO BE A NOBODY.

253
00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:02,533
FILLMORE, LIKE HIM OR NOT,
AUGIE NEEDS OUR PROTECTION.

254
00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:03,826
YEAH?

255
00:13:03,909 --> 00:13:05,994
AND THERE'S PROBABLY SOMEBODY
ELSE OUT THERE

256
00:13:06,078 --> 00:13:07,704
GETTING THEIR LUNCH NABBED.

257
00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:10,082
WE'VE GOT BETTER WAYS
TO SPEND OUR TIME, INGRID.

258
00:13:10,165 --> 00:13:12,209
WE CAN'T PICK AND CHOOSE
WHO WE HELP.

259
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:14,211
LIKE YOU SAID,
EVERYBODY MATTERS.

260
00:13:15,546 --> 00:13:18,006
EVEN WEASELLY CONS
LIKE AUGIE SANSOME.

261
00:13:18,090 --> 00:13:19,925
I PREFER "CRAFTY GRIFTER."

262
00:13:21,093 --> 00:13:22,970
LET'S GET YOU OUT OF HERE.

263
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,188
WHERE ARE WE GOING?

264
00:13:33,272 --> 00:13:35,649
JUST TRUST ME, MAN.

265
00:13:58,297 --> 00:14:00,340
WE'RE TRAPPED!

266
00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:10,058
HERE'S THE DEAL, FILLMORE.

267
00:14:10,142 --> 00:14:11,643
GIVE US AUGIE,

268
00:14:11,727 --> 00:14:14,146
AND WE'LL THINK ABOUT LETTING
YOU AND YOUR PARTNER GO.

269
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,569
WE BOUGHT SOME TIME...
BUT NOT MUCH.

270
00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:23,989
WHY DON'T YOU USE THAT TIME
TO GET ME SOMEPLACE SAFE?

271
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:26,533
HOW ABOUT THE STUDENT-COUNCIL
HEARING, AUGIE?

272
00:14:26,617 --> 00:14:27,826
THAT'S SAFE.

273
00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:28,827
NICE TRY.

274
00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:29,995
Ingrid? Come in.

275
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:31,955
BOSS, WE LOST THEM.

276
00:14:32,039 --> 00:14:34,458
Ingrid, where's Fillmore?

277
00:14:36,418 --> 00:14:37,419
WE'RE ON OUR WAY.

278
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:56,480
CRACKERS.
THE BATTLE OF YORKTOWN.

279
00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,357
THE HISTORY AND
HOME-EC DEPARTMENTS

280
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,442
ARE RE-ENACTING THE BATTLE
OF YORKTOWN TODAY,

281
00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:02,861
THE DECIDING VICTORY
OF THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION.

282
00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:06,573
CUSTARD?!

283
00:15:06,657 --> 00:15:10,077
IF I GET HIT BY THAT STUFF,
I'LL SWELL UP LIKE A $6 HAM!

284
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:13,538
I ASKED YOU TO PROTECT ME,
NOT THROW ME INTO A WAR ZONE!

285
00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:16,333
YOU'VE GOT TWO OPTIONS --

286
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,627
THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR
OR SCOOTER AND THUGS.

287
00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:32,099
I CAN'T DO IT, I TELL YOU.
I CAN'T!

288
00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:35,060
JUST LEAVE ME HERE.
LET SCOOTER HAVE ME.

289
00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:36,645
ANYTHING BUT CUSTARD!

290
00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:38,563
I'M NOT LEAVING YOU, AUGIE.

291
00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:40,899
I'M HERE TO PROTECT YOU, MAN,
AND THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO.

292
00:15:40,983 --> 00:15:42,025
YOU GOT TO TRUST ME.

293
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,612
NOW, LET'S DO THIS.

294
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:54,454
EXCUSE ME, MR. PRESIDENT,
SAFETY PATROL EMERGENCY.

295
00:16:05,048 --> 00:16:09,136
WASHINGTON'S CHARGING THE FIELD!

296
00:16:09,219 --> 00:16:11,430
TARGET WASHINGTON AND FIRE!

297
00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:18,603
FILLMORE,
THEY'RE FIRING ON US!

298
00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:19,855
DOG!

299
00:16:19,938 --> 00:16:22,607
AUGIE, YOU GRABBED
GENERAL WASHINGTON'S HELMET!

300
00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:25,527
I GOT KIND OF A BIG NOGGIN.
IT WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT FIT.

301
00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:26,653
INCOMING!

302
00:16:38,248 --> 00:16:41,418
CUSTARD -- UGH!
GIVES ME HIVES.

303
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:45,297
YOU TOO?!
BUT YOU TOOK THAT HIT FOR ME.

304
00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:47,924
I SAID I'D PROTECT YOU
WHETHER YOU TESTIFY OR NOT.

305
00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:50,218
THAT'S WHAT WEARING THE BADGE
IS ALL ABOUT.

306
00:16:50,302 --> 00:16:52,763
THOUGH I GUESS I WON'T BE
WEARING IT MUCH LONGER

307
00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:54,389
NOW THAT SCOOTER SET ME UP.

308
00:16:54,473 --> 00:16:56,850
SCOOTER? SCOOTER COULDN'T
SET UP A TRIPOD.

309
00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:58,310
WHAT?

310
00:16:58,393 --> 00:17:00,729
HAVE YOU SEEN THE GUY?
HE'S ALL BRAWN AND NO BRAINS.

311
00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:04,691
YOU ASK ME, SOMEBODY ELSE IS
RUNNING THE LUNCH-BAG RACKET.

312
00:17:04,775 --> 00:17:07,319
DOG! YOU'RE RIGHT.
I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE YOU.

313
00:17:07,402 --> 00:17:08,904
WHAT NOW?!

314
00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:12,282
I JUST GAVE YOU A VALUABLE PIECE
OF CRIME-SOLVING INFORMATION

315
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:13,366
AT NO CHARGE!

316
00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:14,826
EXACTLY.

317
00:17:14,910 --> 00:17:17,162
THAT NOBODY JUNK YOU WERE
SPOUTING JUST DOESN'T PLAY.

318
00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:19,247
YOU'VE GOT A GOOD HEAD
ON YOUR SHOULDERS,

319
00:17:19,331 --> 00:17:20,957
AND YOU RIDE
A MEAN WHEELBARROW.

320
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:23,043
SO WHY ARE YOU SELLING
YOURSELF SHORT, MAN?

321
00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:25,128
MAYBE THAT'S ALL PEOPLE
ARE BUYING.

322
00:17:25,212 --> 00:17:27,506
Guys, Folsom's ready
to start the hearing.

323
00:17:27,589 --> 00:17:29,007
WHERE ARE YOU TWO?

324
00:17:29,091 --> 00:17:31,134
At the southeast
entrance to the school.

325
00:17:31,218 --> 00:17:32,511
Do what you can to stall.

326
00:17:32,594 --> 00:17:34,179
WE'RE ON OUR WAY.

327
00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:35,764
WHAT?!
I NEVER SAID I'D --

328
00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:37,766
YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY
A WORD, AUGIE.

329
00:17:37,849 --> 00:17:40,435
BUT THE ONLY WAY TO KEEP YOU
SAFE IS TO KEEP YOU WITH US.

330
00:17:40,519 --> 00:17:42,771
AND RIGHT NOW, WE HAVE
A HEARING TO GET TO.

331
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:54,616
DON'T WORRY.
WE'LL FIND HIM.

332
00:17:58,370 --> 00:18:00,163
DOG.
THIS IS ROUGH, AUGIE.

333
00:18:00,247 --> 00:18:03,375
IF THEY FIND US, WE MAY NOT BE
ABLE TO PROTECT YOU.

334
00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:05,627
WE CAN'T JUST SIT HERE,
FILLMORE.

335
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:07,045
YOU'VE GOT TO GET
TO THAT HEARING.

336
00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:08,547
I KNOW.

337
00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:10,549
BUT THE BEST WAY TO KEEP AUGIE
SAFE IS TO STAY PUT.

338
00:18:10,632 --> 00:18:12,342
BUT IF YOU MISS THAT HEARING,

339
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,719
YOU'RE BOOKING A ONE-WAY TICKET
TO EXPELSVILLE.

340
00:18:14,803 --> 00:18:16,471
THAT'S THE WAY
IT'S GOT TO BE.

341
00:18:16,555 --> 00:18:18,723
WHAT?! YOU CAN'T JUST THROW
IN THE TOWEL.

342
00:18:18,807 --> 00:18:20,392
YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR THAT.

343
00:18:20,475 --> 00:18:23,145
I'VE WATCHED YOU TODAY.
YOU'RE SMART. YOU'RE FAST.

344
00:18:23,228 --> 00:18:25,897
YOU KNOW ALL THE SECRET
PASSAGES AROUND HERE.

345
00:18:25,981 --> 00:18:28,024
SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE ELSE
WE KNOW.

346
00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:30,861
LISTEN, I DON'T BLAME YOU
FOR WHAT WENT DOWN TODAY.

347
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,362
YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.

348
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,906
AND IF YOU EVER DECIDE
TO TURN THINGS AROUND,

349
00:18:34,990 --> 00:18:36,366
YOU LOOK ME UP, A'IGHT?

350
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,577
I'LL PUT IN A GOOD WORD
WITH VALLEJO.

351
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:39,911
WAIT! I GOT AN IDEA!

352
00:18:41,872 --> 00:18:44,833
BOSS, THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY.

353
00:18:57,971 --> 00:18:59,389
COME ON!

354
00:19:02,184 --> 00:19:03,643
GIVE IT UP, AUGIE!

355
00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:06,605
QUICK! IN HERE!

356
00:19:11,026 --> 00:19:12,527
PHEW!
THANKS, JAMIE.

357
00:19:12,611 --> 00:19:14,821
GLAD TO SEE YOU
STEPPING UP, MAN.

358
00:19:14,905 --> 00:19:18,408
THANK YOU FOR ALL THE
GOOD WORK YOU'VE DONE FOR X.

359
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:20,744
I'M SORRY TO SEE YOU
GET EXPELLED.

360
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:21,953
DON'T WORRY.

361
00:19:22,037 --> 00:19:24,206
ONCE AUGIE TESTIFIES,
I'LL BE CLEARED.

362
00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:28,543
OH, I'M AFRAID AUGIE WON'T BE
TESTIFYING TODAY.

363
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:32,839
JAMIE TOWNSEND,

364
00:19:32,923 --> 00:19:35,467
YOU'RE THE BRAINS BEHIND
THE LUNCH-BAG RING.

365
00:19:35,550 --> 00:19:36,968
I SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT.

366
00:19:37,052 --> 00:19:38,762
SHOULDA, COULDA, DIDN'T.

367
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:42,724
YOU SET ME UP -- THE MAC AND
JACK, SCOOTER TRIPPING ME.

368
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:44,684
YOU HAD IT ALL FIGURED OUT.

369
00:19:44,768 --> 00:19:47,145
YOU WERE GETTING TOO CLOSE
TO STOPPING ME.

370
00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:49,397
I HAD TO TAKE CARE OF YOU
PERMANENTLY.

371
00:19:49,481 --> 00:19:52,442
FOLSOM'S THREE-STRIKES POLICY
CAME ALONG JUST IN TIME.

372
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:55,111
I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO HELP
STUDENTS MAKING A DIFFERENCE.

373
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:57,072
AND TURN A PROFIT DOING IT.

374
00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:58,949
BUT BOLOGNA'S EXPENSIVE
THESE DAYS,

375
00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:00,825
SO I HIRED SCOOTER
AND HIS THUGS

376
00:20:00,909 --> 00:20:03,328
TO STEAL LUNCHES FROM THE
STUDENTS WHO DIDN'T MATTER,

377
00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:05,330
AND I'D SELL THEM
TO THE ONES WHO DID.

378
00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:06,915
EVERYBODY MATTERS, JAMIE.

379
00:20:06,998 --> 00:20:08,500
WELL, RIGHT NOW,

380
00:20:08,583 --> 00:20:11,336
THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS
TO YOU, OFFICER FILLMORE,

381
00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:12,837
IS PACKING YOUR LOCKER.

382
00:20:12,921 --> 00:20:15,340
'CAUSE NOW THAT
WE'VE GOT AUGIE,

383
00:20:15,423 --> 00:20:17,884
NO ONE'S LEFT
TO TESTIFY FOR YOU.

384
00:20:17,968 --> 00:20:19,135
RIGHT, AUGIE?

385
00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:22,097
NOT EXACTLY.

386
00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:24,557
HUH? WHAT?!
WHERE'S AUGIE?!

387
00:20:24,641 --> 00:20:27,519
BEING SOMEBODY, BABY.

388
00:20:27,602 --> 00:20:29,771
AND THEN FILLMORE RAN IN
AFTER SCOOTER.

389
00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:32,399
I WAS WATCHING, AND I SAW
SCOOTER TRIP FILLMORE

390
00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:34,818
WHEN FILLMORE TRIED TO STOP
THE SCULPTURE.

391
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:37,362
AND WHAT WERE YOU DOING
AT THE BACKSTAGE DOOR?

392
00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:41,408
UH, I WAS SELLING ILLEGAL
BACKSTAGE PASSES

393
00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:42,909
FOR $5 APIECE.

394
00:20:42,993 --> 00:20:45,203
YOU DO REALIZE
BY ADMITTING THAT,

395
00:20:45,287 --> 00:20:48,873
YOU COULD ALSO BE EXPELLED
UNDER THE THREE-STRIKES PENALTY?

396
00:20:48,957 --> 00:20:51,251
DID I SAY ILLEGAL
BACKSTAGE PASSES?

397
00:20:51,334 --> 00:20:53,920
I MEANT, UH, ILLEGIBLE...

398
00:20:54,004 --> 00:20:56,548
AS IN IMPOSSIBLE TO READ
'CAUSE THEY DON'T EXIST.

399
00:20:56,631 --> 00:20:58,717
FILLMORE'S EXPULSION PAPERS.

400
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:01,970
WELL, YOU WON'T BE NEEDING
THESE ANYMORE.

401
00:21:02,053 --> 00:21:05,765
YOU TOOK DOWN JAMIE, ELIMINATED
THE LUNCH-BAG EXTORTION RING.

402
00:21:05,849 --> 00:21:07,517
NOT A BAD AFTERNOON'S WORK.

403
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:10,270
WHAT ABOUT THE STRIKES?
AM I STILL AT BAT?

404
00:21:10,353 --> 00:21:13,356
STRIKES, SCHMIKES!
I'M GOING BACK TO BASICS --

405
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:16,985
HARD-NOSED CASE-BY-CASE JUSTICE
METED OUT BY YOURS TRULY

406
00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:18,778
AND NOT SOME LIFELESS RULE.

407
00:21:18,862 --> 00:21:21,990
YOU'VE DONE GOOD WORK
FOR THIS SCHOOL, FILLMORE.

408
00:21:22,073 --> 00:21:23,908
I'D HAVE HATED TO SEE YOU GO.

409
00:21:23,992 --> 00:21:27,120
OF COURSE, THE SCHOOL'S REPAIR
BILLS WOULD HAVE GONE DOWN

410
00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:28,538
SUBSTANTIALLY.

411
00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:30,623
HEY, IT'S A SMALL PRICE
TO PAY FOR JUSTICE.

412
00:21:30,707 --> 00:21:33,835
I'M JUST GLAD YOU'RE GONNA BE
STICKING AROUND, FILLMORE.

413
00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:36,755
YO, I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT
IF AUGIE HADN'T STEPPED UP.

414
00:21:36,838 --> 00:21:38,423
WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO HIM?

415
00:21:38,506 --> 00:21:42,177
WELL, HE'S NOT GOING TO BE
EXPELLED, BUT, UH...

416
00:21:42,260 --> 00:21:44,929
WELL, HE'S NOT EXACTLY GETTING
OFF SCOT-FREE, EITHER.

417
00:21:45,013 --> 00:21:50,769
10,201, 10,202, 10,20--

418
00:21:50,852 --> 00:21:52,187
YO.

419
00:21:52,270 --> 00:21:54,356
I HEARD
YOU COULD USE SOME HELP.

420
00:21:54,439 --> 00:21:57,233
YOU SURE YOU'RE READY
TO FACE MACARONI AGAIN?

421
00:21:57,317 --> 00:21:58,568
FOR SOMEBODY LIKE YOU?

422
00:21:58,651 --> 00:22:01,529
I'LL GIVE IT A SHOT.

423
00:22:06,284 --> 00:22:09,287
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