FILLMORE. I'M ON IT.
[ SIREN WAILS ]
AND NOW "FILLMORE."
TODAY'S EPISODE -- "OF SLAIN KINGS ON CHECKERED FIELDS."
CHECKMATE IN 26 MOVES FOR NELSON KELLOCH
OF ST. STEPHEN'S ACADEMY.
NEXT, AT CENTER BOARD, IS X MIDDLE SCHOOL'S OWN --
PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!
CHECKMATEY IN THE HOUSE!
[ SHOUTING ]
AAH! I LOVE YOU, CHECKMATEY!
[ BOOING ]
BAN CHECKMATEY. PRESERVE THE GAME OF KINGS.
[ BOOING AND CHEERING CONTINUE ]
LET'S KICK IT.
MIC CHECK, ONE, TWO.
AND THAT'S MATE, Y'ALL.
MATCH TO CHECKMATEY.
C.J., DROP A BEAT, YO.
[ BEAT-BOXING ]
YEAH-YA! Y'ALL BETTER RECOGNIZE.
IT'S CHECKMATEY.
♪ LYRIC SPITTIN', CASTLE BLITZIN', QUEEN'S RIGHT KING ♪
♪ RIGHT BISHOP SLASHIN', MICROPHONE CRASHIN' ♪
♪ SKILL CHESS PLAYIN', ILL-RHYME SAYIN' ♪
HIS NAME IS WARREN FOOTE,
BUT EVERYONE KNOWS HIM AS CHECKMATEY.
HE'S BRASH. HE'S CONTROVERSIAL.
HE'S IN-YOUR-FACE.
BUT WHEN IT COMES TO CHESS,
HE CAN MAKE THOSE BISHOPS DANCE LIKE BRITNEY WITH A BOA.
A WEEK AGO, CHECKMATEY STARTED RECEIVING WRITTEN THREATS,
WARNING HIM TO DROP OUT OF THE TOURNAMENT.
AND THEN THIS MORNING, THIS HAPPENED.
LAB REPORT SHOWS THE ROPES HOLDING THAT PAWN --
WELL, THEY WERE CUT HALFWAY THROUGH.
SO IT WAS NO ACCIDENT.
IT'S BEEN A BAD YEAR FOR X.
THE PASTRY TEAM SUFFERED A HUMILIATING LOSS
AT THE COUNTY PHYLLO FINALS.
THE ULTIMATE HORSESHOES TEAM
WAS STOPPED DEAD IN THEIR TRACKS AT STATES.
FROM THIS MOMENT ON,
THE TWO OF YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR GUARDING CHECKMATEY.
WHERE HE GOES, YOU GO. WHAT HE DOES, YOU DO.
WHAT HE EATS, YOU EAT.
I DON'T CARE IF YOU DON'T LIKE ONIONS.
X NEEDS A TROPHY, AND CHECKMATEY CAN GIVE US ONE.
WHOEVER SENT THESE TO CHECKMATEY WAS CAREFUL.
THEY CUT OUT ALL OF THE INDIVIDUAL LETTERS FROM MAGAZINE HEADLINES.
NO HANDWRITING.
OFFICER FILLMORE, I PRESUME?
YEAH, THAT'S ME. UH, DO I KNOW YOU?
NO, BUT YOU SHOULD FEAR ME.
MY NAME IS JOYCE SUMMITT,
AND I AM THE ONE THAT SHALL LEAVE YOU DEFEATED, SILENT,
LISTENING TO THE LAMENTATIONS OF YOUR KIN.
WHAT'S THIS ABOUT?
YOU USED TO BE THE KING OF THE CAFETORIUM --
THE GUY WHO COULD PACK MORE AWAY THAN ANYONE, THAN ANYTHING.
BUT X HAS A NEW CHAMPION, AND HER NAME IS JOYCE SUMMITT.
PREPARE TO HOWL FOR MERCY.
NICE GIRL.
HI, I'M RAYLEAN TINGLEY,
PRESIDENT OF THE CHECKMATEY FAN CLUB.
WE JUST THINK HE'S SO TALENTED AND YUMMY.
WANT TO JOIN?
SORRY. WE'RE ON DUTY.
HELLO, THERE.
TYSON PELAREZ, PRESIDENT OF S.P.E.C. --
STUDENTS FOR THE PRESERVATION OF ETIQUETTE IN CHESS.
WE BELIEVE THAT CHECKMATEY'S FLAMBOYANT STYLE
AND DISRESPECTFUL ATTITUDE IS ENDANGERING THE DIGNITY
OF THIS ANCIENT AND HALLOWED GAME.
SO, YOU GOING TO SIGN THE PETITION OR WHAT, HUH?
UH, WE'RE ON DUTY. SORRY.
YOU'RE EXPECTED TO FACE NELSON KELLOCH IN THE FINALS.
YEAH? SO BRING IT!
BUT NELSON KELLOCH IS THE NUMBER-ONE RATED PLAYER
IN THE TOURNAMENT.
AREN'T YOU EVEN A LITTLE INTIMIDATED BY HIM?
I'LL MAKE THAT SUCKER IN 12 MOVES, YO,
AND Y'ALL CAN QUOTE ME ON THIS THAT.
NOW, DING! THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER.
J.C., C.J.!
WARREN FOOTE, I'M CORNELIUS FILLMORE,
AND THIS IS MY PARTNER, INGRID THIRD.
WE'RE FROM THE SAFETY PATROL,
AND WE'VE BEEN ASSIGNED TO GUARD YOU.
YO, WHATEVER.
Y'ALL SHOULD BE TASTING MY FOOD
TO SEE IF IT'S POISONED AND STUFF.
NOT HAPPENING.
IF WE'RE GOING TO GUARD YOU,
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO LOSE THIS LITTLE ENTOURAGE HERE.
WHAT?! THESE ARE MY BOYS, YO.
NO UNAUTHORIZED PEOPLE BACKSTAGE OR IN YOUR DRESSING ROOM
UNTIL AFTER THE TOURNAMENT, UNDERSTOOD?
I LIKE WHEN A FEMALE TAKES CHARGE, YO.
MAYBE ONE OF THESE DAYS,
I'LL TAKE YOU UP TO THE ROOF OF THE SCHOOL.
THAT'S WHERE I GO TO GET AWAY FROM THE SPOTLIGHT, WORK ON MY RHYMES.
WHAT DO YOU SAY? I SAY NO.
AND I SAY CHECK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU WRECK YOURSELF.
GIRL, YOU GOT A MOUTH ON YOU!
I'M STARTING TO DIG YOU A LIL' BIT.
I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO THIS, FILLMORE.
I FEEL LIKE SENDING THREATS TO CHECKMATEY MYSELF.
WE GOT A JOB TO DO, INGRID.
YOU CAN'T LET HIM GET IN YOUR HEAD.
I MEAN, WE DO THIS,
WE HAVE TO CHECK THE PERSONAL FEELINGS AT THE DOOR.
MATCH TO CHECKMATEY.
HE MOVES INTO THE FINALS AGAINST NELSON KELLOCH
AT 1:00 P.M. TOMORROW AFTERNOON.
WHAT? WHAT? YOU WANT SOME OF THIS?
YOU CAN'T RUSH ME OFF STAGE BEFORE I SPIT OUT SOME RHYMES.
I CAN'T LET MY FANS DOWN, Y'ALL.
HEY, STOP!
STAY ON HIM.
STOP!
THIEF!
SAFETY PATROL EMERGENCY.
CHECK.
OH, PLEASE DON'T TELL HIM IT WAS ME.
THIS ISN'T A THREAT. IT'S A LOVE LETTER.
THAT'S RIGHT, AND IF LOVING CHECKMATEY IS A CRIME,
THEN I PLEAD GUILTY IN THE FIRST DEGREE.
YOU CAN GO.
AAH! BYE, CHECKMATEY.
I KNOW YOU CAN BEAT NELSON KELLOCH.
I JUST KNOW IT.
MAN! YOU CALL THIS PROTECTING ME?
Y'ALL ARE BUGGING OUT MY FANS AND STUFF.
NOW I GOT TO GO WASH UP.
"FIZZY DIGESTIVE SELTZERS."
NO!
HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED.
OUR PERP PLANTED THE DIGESTIVE TABLETS IN THE CLOSET,
PLUGGED THE SINK DRAIN, AND LEFT THE WATER RUNNING.
THEY ALSO LEFT ANOTHER NOTE.
"DROP OUT, CHECKMATEY. THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING."
SHIATSU!
LET'S HAVE A LITTLE RECAP, SHALL WE?
I ASKED YOU TO GUARD CHECKMATEY AND KEEP HIM SAFE.
REVERSE KNEAD!
TODAY, HE WAS PRACTICALLY FIZZED INTO ANOTHER TIME ZONE.
CHECKMATEY WILL BE FOCUSED FOR THE FINALS.
CHECKMATEY WILL WIN.
AND THUS, THE VOID IN MY TROPHY CASE AND THE VOID IN MY HEART
WILL BE FILLED.
DEEP TISSUE!
FIRST THING TOMORROW, I WANT CHECKMATEY MOVED TO SOME SORT
OF SAFE-HOUSIE THING OFF SCHOOL PROPERTY.
SWEDISH!
[ RECORD SCRATCHING RHYTHMICALLY ]
CHET BAKER?
Y'ALL CALL THIS MUSIC?
TOUCH NOTHING.
COME ON, YO.
I'M BORED OUT OF MY SKULL OVER HERE.
LET'S GO TO THE MALL AND CHILL OR HANG OR LOITER OR SOMETHING.
SORRY, MAN. THE FINALS DON'T START FOR ANOTHER THREE HOURS.
WE STAY PUT UNTIL THEN.
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
YES?
IT'S ME.
VALLEJO THOUGHT YOU SHOULD SEE THIS.
TURNS OUT NELSON KELLOCH'S FATHER
IS ON THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS OF MEMENGER INDUSTRIES.
YEAH, SO?
WELL, MEMENGER INDUSTRIES MAKES FIZZY DIGESTIVE SELTZERS.
I'M GOING TO HEAD BACK TO SCHOOL.
HAVE A LITTLE CHAT WITH OUR BOY NELSON.
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
BOOM! I'LL BACK YOU UP, YO.
INGRID, YOU COOL HANGING HERE?
DONE.
AW, COME ON, YO.
[ BELL RINGS ]
FILLMORE, STOP TRYING TO RUN.
THERE IS NO ESCAPE.
NOT NOW, JOYCE.
I'M GOING AFTER YOUR SLOPPY-JOE RECORD TODAY,
AND I AM GOING TO ANNIHILATE IT.
GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.
JUST STOP!
YOU KNOW HOW THIS MUST END.
YOU SEE, YOU'RE A LEGEND AT X,
AND THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO TAKE DOWN A LEGEND --
HEAD-TO-HEAD.
TRUST ME, YOU DON'T WANT ANY PART OF THIS.
YOU REALLY DON'T.
LUNCH PERIOD STARTS IN TWO HOURS.
YOU CAN RUN FROM YOUR DESTINY, FILLMORE,
BUT SOONER OR LATER, IT WILL FIND YOU.
YO, THESE ARE SERIOUSLY MESSED UP.
WHO DREW THESE -- YOU? MY SISTER.
YEAH? SHE LOOK LIKE YOU?
TALLER.
BUT NOT PRETTIER,
BECAUSE YOU ARE FINE, LIKE THE SUNSHINE,
AND I -- AAH! UGH!
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, GIRL?
I SAID, "TOUCH NOTHING." REMEMBER?
YOU GOT A BATHROOM I CAN USE?
KNOCK YOURSELF OUT.
CORNELIUS FILLMORE, X MIDDLE SCHOOL SAFETY PATROL,
AND I WANT TO SEE YOUR ARTS AND CRAFTS PROJECT.
HEY, GIVE ME THAT BACK.
WAIT A SECOND.
THESE ARE JUST CUTOUTS OF THAT GROUP, THE DANCY LADS.
THEY'RE MY FAVORITE BOY BAND.
I MAKE COLLAGES OF THEM BEFORE I HAVE A MATCH.
IT HELPS RELAX ME.
IT'S RATHER EMBARRASSING, OKAY?
CHECKMATEY, ARE YOU OKAY?
CHECKMATEY?
I'M COMING IN.
[ WATER RUNNING ]
WHAT POSSIBLE REASON WOULD I HAVE
FOR WANTING TO SABOTAGE MR. CHECKMATEY?
YOU SCARE CHECKMATEY OUT OF THE TOURNAMENT,
YOU WIN THE FINALS BY FORFEIT.
I WOULDN'T MISS THE OPPORTUNITY TO PLAY AGAINST CHECKMATEY
FOR ANYTHING IN THE WORLD,
SAVE PERHAPS FOR FRONT-ROW TICKETS TO DANCY LADS.
YOU SEE, DEEP DOWN, UNDER ALL HIS POSTURING AND BRAVADO,
I CAN SEE THE FEAR IN CHECKMATEY'S EYES.
FILLMORE, WE'VE GOT A LITTLE PROBLEM.
INGRID, WHERE'S CHECKMATEY?
HE DITCHED ME.
[ SHOUTING ]
Checkmatey: HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW, Y'ALL?
I WANT ALL Y'ALL TO COME OUT AND SEE ME
BUST IT, BUST IT, BUST IT
ON THIS VERY STAGE IN THE FINALS.
COME ON, SHOW CHECKMATEY SOME LOVE!
[ SHOUTING ]
CHECKMATEY, YOU HAD ME AT "YO."
♪ CHECKMATEY'S THE BOMB, AND HE'S FULL OF WISDOM ♪
♪ I'M SHARP LIKE A FOIL, SIMMERING AND READY TO BROIL ♪
[ SCREAMING ]
WE'VE GOT TO GET HIM OUT OF HERE.
INGRID, THE TRAPDOOR.
OH, CHECKMATEY, COME BACK!
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?
HEY, CHECKMATEY'S JUST BEING CHECKMATEY.
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
HOW 'BOUT HELPING US HELP YOU.
INGRID AND I HAVE BEEN BUSTING OUR TAILS WATCHING YOUR BACK,
AND YOU'VE BEEN FIGHTING US EVERY STEP OF THE WAY.
THAT'S BECAUSE Y'ALL ARE UP IN MY BUSINESS AND WHATNOT.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I WANT FROM YOU?
COMPLETE SILENCE, MAN.
'CAUSE STRAIGHT UP,
DUDE, YOU'RE THE WACKEST M.C. I'VE EVER HEARD.
HEY, THAT'S LOW.
YOU CAN CUT ME DOWN, YO, BUT NOT MY VERSE.
YOU JUST RHYMED "BOMB" WITH "WISDOM."
NOW, THAT IS PATHETIC.
YOU BETTER STICK TO CHESS, MAN,
BECAUSE YOU'RE MIC CONTROL IS SERIOUSLY LACKING.
FILLMORE, YOU GUYS OKAY?
YO, WHO NEEDS Y'ALL ANYWAY?
LATER, YO.
WHAT HAPPENED TO CHECKING THE PERSONAL FEELINGS AT THE DOOR?
THE FINALS START IN AN HOUR AND A HALF.
LET'S JUST DO THIS THING AND BE DONE WITH IT.
HE'S NOT HERE.
FILLMORE.
"CHECKMATEY HAS BEEN TAKEN.
"HE WILL BE HELD UNTIL AFTER THE FINALS.
DO NOT TRY AND FIND HIM."
SO, THIS IS THE SAFETY PATROL'S IDEA OF PROTECTION?
THE FINALS BEGIN IN...
AN HOUR AND A HALF.
AND YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT CHECKMATEY WAS TAKEN
UNDER YOUR VERY NOSES?
WHAT ABOUT MY SHINY, NEW TROPHY?
WHAT ABOUT GIVING THIS SCHOOL THE VICTORY
FOR WHICH IT HAS LONG HUNGERED?
LOOK, PRINCIPAL FOLSOM,
I'M THE ONE THAT DROPPED THE BALL.
I LET CHECKMATEY GET TO ME.
WE BOTH DID.
BUT WITH ALL DUE RESPECT,
I'M NOT GOING TO LOSE SLEEP OVER WHAT'S IN YOUR TROPHY CASE.
CHECKMATEY HAS EARNED THE RIGHT TO PLAY IN THE FINALS,
AND WE'RE GONNA MAKE SURE HE GETS THERE.
BUT LET'S MAKE THIS STRAIGHT UP --
WE'RE DOING IT FOR HIM.
DO YOU SEE WHAT I SEE?
I DON'T SEE ANYTHING.
EXACTLY.
SO, WHERE'S TYSON
OR ANY OF THE OTHER MEMBERS OF THE S.P.E.C.?
WHY WOULD THEY MISS OUT PROTESTING THE MAIN EVENT?
COULD BE THEY'RE BUSY WITH SOMETHING ELSE.
DISCO.
WHERE ARE WE?
I THINK WE'RE IN A SECTION OF THE SCHOOL'S OLD FOUNDATION.
IS THE OPERATION SECURE?
SEE FOR YOURSELF.
AH, YES. WON'T BE LONG NOW, WILL IT?
DON'T WORRY. YOU'LL BE OUT OF THERE SOON ENOUGH.
NO TIME FOR BACKUP.
WAIT FOR MY SIGNAL, THEN GET CHECKMATEY OUT OF THERE.
YOUR SIGNAL?
TRUST ME -- YOU'LL KNOW IT.
A TOAST --
TO OPERATION STAMPEDING KNIGHT.
[ GRUNTS ]
[ SIREN WAILING ]
OH, HE'S GONNA RUIN EVERYTHING!
GET HIM! GET HIM!
COME ON, CHECKMATEY. WE'RE GETTING YOU OUT OF HERE.
ALL RIGHT. HOLD UP.
SOMEONE BETTER START EXPLAINING.
OPERATION STAMPEDING KNIGHT IS MY CREATION,
THE RESULTS OF MONTHS OF PLANNING.
LOOK, WE PLANNED TO DROP THAT BALLOON
FILLED WITH THREE LAYERS -- KETCHUP, MUSTARD, KETCHUP
ONTO CHECKMATEY DURING THE FINALS.
[ SIGHS ] IT WAS ALL SO PERFECT.
HELP!
IT'S ALIVE!
I-I'M NOT SURE I'M FOLLOWING.
DON'T YOU GET THIS?
OKAY, LOOK, THE RED AND YELLOW REPRESENT
THE COLORS OF THE SPANISH FLAG.
SPAIN IS THE COUNTRY WHERE MODERN CHESS ORIGINATED.
IT'S THE PERFECT TRADITIONALIST REVENGE
AGAINST EVERYTHING CHECKMATEY STANDS FOR.
THAT'S OPERATION STAMPEDING KNIGHT.
SO, LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT --
YOU AND THE OTHER MEMBERS OF THE S.P.E.C.
HAVE NO IDEA WHERE CHECKMATEY IS RIGHT NOW?
HEY, WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HE WAS MISSING.
IN FACT, OPERATION STAMPEDING KNIGHT
DEPENDED ON HIM BEING AT THE FINALS.
I DON'T GET IT.
IF THEY DIDN'T TAKE CHECKMATEY, WHO DID?
WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF SUSPECTS.
FILLMORE, YOUR TIME OF RECKONING IS NIGH.
HAVE SOME HONOR AND FACE YOUR DESTINY.
NOT NOW, JOYCE.
YES, NOW!
ALL MY LIFE -- THE PIE-EATING CONTEST,
THE ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT PRETZEL BARS,
THE 8-FOOT SUBS --
IT'S ALL BEEN LEADING TO THIS.
YOU WERE ONCE X MIDDLE SCHOOL'S SLOPPY-JOE CHAMPION,
BUT YOU WILL BE DEFEATED!
YOU PATHETIC COWARD!
GO ON, WALK AWAY!
PRETEND I DON'T EXIST!
YOU'D DO ANYTHING TO AVOID FACING ME, WOULDN'T YOU?!
I THINK I KNOW WHO TOOK CHECKMATEY.
RUN AND HIDE, FILLMORE! RUN AND HIDE!
I WILL HAVE MY VICTORY!
IT WAS SOMETHING NELSON TOLD ME.
HE SAID THAT UNDER ALL OF CHECKMATEY'S POSING,
HE COULD SEE THAT HE WAS SCARED.
CHECK CHECKMATEY'S MAGAZINE.
CRACKERS.
HEY, CHECKMATEY.
OH. OH, YO. I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE Y'ALL.
THERE -- THERE WERE THESE THREE BIG DUDES WITH MASKS.
SAVE IT.
I GUESS THIS IS WHAT YOU'D CALL CHECK AND MATE, Y'ALL.
YO, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT Y'ALL ARE TALKING ABOUT, YO.
I THINK YOU DO.
I THINK YOU KNEW YOU COULDN'T BEAT NELSON IN THE FINALS.
IT WAS YOU ALL ALONG.
YOU SENT THOSE THREATS TO YOURSELF,
AND IT WAS YOU
WHO RIGGED THE FOAM PAWN TO FALL IN THE MATCH.
YOU PLANTED THOSE TABLETS
AND LEFT THE WATER RUNNING IN YOUR BATHROOM.
AND YOU ABDUCTED YOURSELF, MAN.
I WAS SCARED, ALL RIGHT?!
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR?
I WAS SCARED.
I KNEW I COULDN'T TAKE NELSON IN THE FINALS.
HIS MOVES...
THEY'RE JUST -- MAN, THEY'RE WAY TOO SLAMMIN' FOR ME.
LOOK, NO ONE HAS TO KNOW.
JUST PRETEND YOU NEVER FOUND ME.
EVERYONE WILL THINK I WAS TAKEN AND COULDN'T PLAY.
PLEASE, YO?
SORRY, CHECKMATEY, BUT WE DEAL IN TRUTH, NOT LIES.
WAY I SEE IT, YOU GOT TWO CHOICES.
YOU CAN FORFEIT THE MATCH,
AND EVERYONE GETS TO KNOW WHAT WENT DOWN.
OR YOU PLAY, MAN.
YOUR MOVE.
[ AUDIENCE GASPING ]
Man: MATCH AND TOURNAMENT
TO NELSON KELLOCH OF ST. STEPHEN'S ACADEMY.
GOOD GAME, YO. I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME.
LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
NOTICE I'M SMILING, FILLMORE.
NOTICE I'M APPLAUDING.
DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?
MY BACK NO LONGER HURTS.
AND YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY MY BACK NO LONGER HURTS?
BECAUSE ONE OF MY STUDENTS GOT TO PLAY CHESS FREE OF FEAR.
RAYCLIFF, WHO IS THIS?
HIS NAME IS LINWOOD.
WELL, WHERE'S FILLMORE?!
EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT!
[ GROANING ]
I...CAN'T.
EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT!
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
SO...
MUCH...
SLOPPY...JOES.
[ GROANING ]
SORRY, JOYCE, BUT DON'T MESS WITH THE MAESTRO.
I KNOW YOU FEEL ME.
CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND ABC, INC.