♪ ♪
>> START THE CLOCK.
♪ ♪
[APPLAUSE]
>> Bill: THANK YOU, THANK YOU
VERY MUCH, EVERYBODY.
PLEASE SIT DOWN, WELCOME TO
MUTUAL OF OMAHA'S WILD KINGDOM.
YOU SOUND LIKE A BEAUTIFUL CROWD
AND WE ARE GOING TO BE DOING
SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT
TODAY, WE ARE TAPING THE SHOW
FOR MY BACKYARD WHERE I HAVE A
BAR.
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?
IT'S MY HOUSE, I HAVE A BAR.
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT TO SEE HERE,
A CHILD'S PLAYPEN?
[LAUGHTER]
I TELL YOU, IS THIS WHAT IT'S
COME TO?
I'M GOING TO BE SHOT AT AN
IPHONE, I FEEL LIKE AN ENTREE
AT THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY.
[LAUGHTER]
I WANT TO GO OUT BUT GAVIN
NEWSOM SAYS I'M GROUNDED.
[LAUGHTER]
AND I AM GROUNDED AND I HAVE THE
BLUE BALLS TO PROVE IT, BUT I'M
TELLING YOU, I AM PRACTICING
EVERY SAFE DIRECTIVE THEY SAY I
SHOULD.
I MAKE SURE I USE DISINFECTANT
ON EVERY SURFACE THAT HAS AT
LEAST 60% ALCOHOL, LIKE A
JUDGE JEANINE PIRRO.
[LAUGHTER]
I STAY 6 FEET AWAY FROM
STRANGERS, EIGHT FROM CHARLIE
SHEEN.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
AND I TELL YOU, THIS ISN'T A BAD
IDEA, STAYING 6 FEET AWAY FROM
PEOPLE.
I SAY NEXT WE TRY IT WITH CARS.
[LAUGHTER]
FOR LOS ANGELES PEOPLE, THE
WORST PART ABOUT THIS IS SEEING
THAT THE HIGHWAYS ARE COMPLETELY
EMPTY, BUT THERE'S NOWHERE TO GO
GO.
SOME PEOPLE ARE LOOKING AT PORN
AT HOME, I'M LOOKING AT PHOTOS
OF THE 405 WITH NO CARS ON THEM.
[LAUGHTER]
IT IS GETTING A LITTLE GRIM
AROUND HERE, YESTERDAY THE
HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY WAS WIPING
DOWN THE MAILMAN.
[LAUGHTER]
MY STALKER IS WORKING FROM HOME.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT THANK YOU, JESUS, I HAVE NO
SYMPTOMS UNLESS YOU COUNT
SHITTING MY PANTS EVERY TIME
TRUMP TALKS.
[LAUGHTER]
I TELL YOU, I'M STARTING TO
WONDER IF HE'S REALLY A DOCTOR.
[LAUGHTER]
THE OTHER DAY A REPORTER ASKED
HIM ABOUT SOUTH KOREA, WHY THEY
ARE DOING BETTER THAN WE ARE AND
HE SAID "I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT
SOUTH KOREA, YOU KNOW HOW MANY
PEOPLE TO ART IN SEOUL,
SOUTH KOREA?
38 MILLION."
OKAY, THERE'S 10 MILLION PEOPLE
IN SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA.
IF TRUMP PLAYED CELEBRITY
JEOPARDY, CANCER WOULD GO
BANKRUPT.
[LAUGHTER]
HE DOES THIS THING EVERY DAY
WERE HE'S BRAGGING ABOUT HIS
RATINGS.
"I HAVE BETTER RATINGS THAN
MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL."
YES, BECAUSE YOUR VIEWERS AREN'T
ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE HOUSE!
WHAT ELSE ARE THEY GOING TO DO,
READ?
[LAUGHTER]
YOU'RE SAYING, MR. PRESIDENT,
EVERY DAY INFORMATION THAT
PEOPLE NEED THAT COULD BE
INSTRUMENTAL TO SAVING THEIR
LIFE.
ANYTHING LESS THAN 100 SHARE
MEANS PEOPLE HATE YOU MORE THAN
THEY LOVE LIFE.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
LOOK, WE'RE GOING TO GET THROUGH
THIS, WE ARE.
STRESS?
IT'S THE WORST THING FOR YOUR
IMMUNE SYSTEM.
TRY TO THINK A LITTLE POSITIVE,
THINK OF ALL THE CELEBRITIES WHO
HAVE THIS, PRINCE CHARLES,
TOM HANKS, JACKSON BROWNE, CHRIS
CUOMO, KEVIN DURANT -- ANYBODY
WHO'S ANYBODY IS GETTING IT.
TOM HANKS, OF COURSE WAS SO
CLASSY WHEN HE GOT IT, HE SAID
"IT'S AN HONOR JUST TO BE
CONTAMINATED."
AND IN THE MOVIE WHO CURES
TOM HANKS WILL BE PLAYED BY
TOM HANKS.
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW, IT'S A
LITTLE DIFFERENT SHOW, WE HAVE
FIVE GREAT GUESTS.
WILLIE NELSON, SETH
MacFARLANE, MAX BROOKS, L.A.
MAYOR ERIC GARCETTI, AND
SENATOR BERNIE SANDERS, ALL OF
WHOM I SPOKE TO ONE ON ONE
YESTERDAY -- LET'S GET RIGHT TO
IT.
MY FIRST GUEST FROM MY HOUSE IS
THE DEMOCRATIC MAYOR OF
LOS ANGELES AND BOY, AM I GLAD
WE HAVE ONE OF THOSE.
PLEASE WELCOME MAYOR ERIC
GARCETTI, THEY ARE CLAPPING AT
HOME I'M SURE FOR YOU.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE
WITH ME TODAY OR REMOTELY WITH
ME TODAY, I WANTED TO HAVE YOU
ON THE SHOW FOR A LONG TIME.
I WISH IT COULD BE UNDER HAPPIER
CIRCUMSTANCES BUT I GUESS THE
GOOD NEWS FOR LOS ANGELES AS YOU
ARE ONE OF THE FIRST TO GIVE A
STAY AT HOME ORDER AND THAT
SEEMS TO HAVE WORKED.
I GUESS MY FIRST QUESTION IS
BECAUSE WE WERE FIRST DOING
THAT, MIGHT WE BE ONE OF THE
FIRST TO END AT?
>> I'VE SAID THE MORE QUICKLY
PEOPLE DO THINGS, THE SHORT OF
THIS WILL LAST AND THE SLOWER
THEY DO THINGS, THE LONGER IT
WILL LAST.
IT COULD BE, BUT WE ALSO WERE
NOT AS FAR INTO THE INFECTION AS
OTHER PARTS OF THE COUNTRY LIKE
ON THE EAST COAST.
IT REMAINS TO BE SEEN, WE ARE
ABOUT 14-17 DAYS BEHIND OUR
CALENDAR OF WHERE NEW YORK IS.
WE IMPLEMENTED THESE THINGS
EARLIER SO I'M HOPING THROUGHOUT
CALIFORNIA, THE FIRST DATE DOING
THIS, WE WILL BE ABLE TO GET
BACK TO WORK AND OUT OF THE CAVE
AS IT WERE BUT WE ARE GOING TO
WAIT FOR PUBLIC HEALTH
PROFESSIONALS TO TELL US AND WE
SHOULD EXPECT IT TO BE A COUPLE
MONTHS.
>> Bill: AS OUR CIVIC VICE
PRINCIPAL ON THIS, WHAT SORT OF
GRADE WOULD YOU GIVE ANGELENOS
FOR FOLLOWING THE ORDER?
>> I WOULD SAY IT'S A SOLID B
RIGHT NOW BUT WE GOT IN A IN ONE
OF THESE GROUPS WHO GRADES HOW
FAR ARE CELL PHONES MOVE, IF
PEOPLE ARE SNAKING OUT THERE AT
LEAST KEEPING THEIR CELL PHONES
AT HOME BECAUSE IT SHOWS WE HAVE
THE COUNTY MOVING THE LEAST IN
SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA.
THERE'S SLIPPAGE IN THAT AND
THERE'S ALWAYS FOLKS THAT ARE
LOOKING TO GET TO THE BEACH, GET
OUT TO THE TRAILS, I UNDERSTAND
IT -- THESE ARE THE ICONIC
LOCATIONS AND PLACES WE LOVE TO
BE BUT THIS IS ABOUT THAT
DISCIPLINE AND REMINDING PEOPLE
WHEN YOU MOVE YOU CAN KILL
YOURSELF AND YOU CAN CERTAINLY
KILL SOMEONE ELSE.
UNLESS IT'S NECESSARY, UNLESS
YOU ARE A CRITICAL WORKER,
STAY-AT-HOME.
>> Bill: THE LAST I READ THERE
WAS 8,000 CASES IN A STATE OF
40 MILLION PEOPLE, OBVIOUSLY
THAT'S GOING TO GO UP BECAUSE WE
ARE ENTERING THAT PHASE WHERE
THOSE NUMBERS ARE GONNA RISE.
HOW ARE WE DOING WITH HOSPITALS,
MASKS, VENTILATORS, EQUIPMENT?
>> WE ARE ABOUT 11 DAYS BEHIND
NEW YORK CITY IN TERMS OF
FATALITIES PER CAPITA IN
L.A. COUNTY, MAYBE 14 DAYS
BEHIND THEY HAVE MORE TESTS
THERE -- WE ARE HOLDING STEADY
AND I HOPE THAT WE GET AN EXTRA
WEEK OR TWO THAT OTHER PLACES
WOULDN'T HAVE LET EVERY CITY HAS
TO BE PREPARED FOR WHEN THE
CASES HIT YOUR CAPACITY.
TO PUT IT IN PERSPECTIVE, WE
HAVE ABOUT 22,000 BEDS IN TOTAL
IN ALL OF OUR HOSPITALS THAT ARE
GENERAL EMERGENCY ROOM HOSPITALS
AND OF THOSE, WE ARE HAVING ONLY
ABOUT 13, 1400 AVAILABLE.
THESE HOSPITALS ARE ALREADY
ABOUT 90% FILLED, 95% FIELD
BEFORE THE ONSLAUGHT.
THEY ARE BUILDING CAPACITY,
MOVING BEDS AROUND, CHANGING
ROOMS THAT DIDN'T HAVE
VENTILATORS, WE GOT ABOUT A
LITTLE UNDER A THOUSAND
VENTILATORS UNUSED BUT WE ARE
GOING TO HIT THAT WALL WHETHER
IT'S IN TWO WEEKS OR THREE WEEKS
WEEKS, WE ARE CONFIDENT EVERY
CITY WILL GO THROUGH THAT, WE
ARE TRYING TO DO OUR BEST TO
SAVE AS MANY LIVES AS POSSIBLE.
>> Bill: DO WE HAVE ENOUGH
MASKS?
I KNOW THERE HAS BEEN
CONFLICTING INFORMATION EVEN
FROM THE CDC ABOUT HOW EFFECTIVE
THEY ARE.
THEY HAVE SOMETIMES MADE US FEEL
LIKE THEY ARE NOT THAT
EFFECTIVE -- I THINK IT'S GOT TO
BE SOMEWHAT MORE EFFECTIVE THAN
NOTHING AND I'VE HEARD OTHER
PEOPLE, I THINK YOURSELF SAY
"EVEN IF IT'S A BANDANNA" WHICH
WORRIES ME IN L.A. BECAUSE I'VE
WHERE THE RED ONE AND I'M OUT
WITH THE CRIPS OR THE BLOODS
ARE, I'M REALLY SCREWED.
>> THERE ARE DIFFERENT MASKS, WE
HAVE 5 MILLION OF THESE THAT
CLOTHING COMPANIES IN
LOS ANGELES HAVE ALREADY STARTED
TO MAKE AND THEY THINK THEY CAN
MAKE ABOUT 5 MILLION PER WEEK.
A FOOTBALL PLAYER MIGHT BE
SMALLER THAN THE DOOR -- THAT'S
THE VIRUS IN THE DOOR IS THE
SIZE OF THE PORES IN THIS BUT IF
YOU HAVE FIVE OR SIX FOOTBALL
PLAYERS TRY TO RUSH THROUGH AT
THE SAME TIME, IT CAN HELP DROP
LET'S NOT SPREAD AND SAVE OUR
GROCERY CLERKS, SAVE FOLKS WHO
ARE DOING CRITICAL WORK.
IF WE ARE WAITING FROM NATIONAL
GUIDANCE, THOSE COUNTRIES LIKE
CZECH REPUBLIC, KOREA, PLACES
LIKE TAIWAN THAT HAVE THEM HAVE
SHOWN SLOWER RATE OF GROWTH.
IT'S IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER
THAT'S DIFFERENT FROM SURGICAL
AND MEDICAL GRADE MASKS THAT
THEY NEED, THERE AREN'T ENOUGH
OF THOSE.
WE HAVE SOMETIMES A WEEK OR SO
OF SUPPLIES, I HAVE DEPUTIZED
AHEAD OF OUR PORT OF LOS ANGELES
WHICH IS THE BIGGEST PORT
ANYWHERE IN THE AMERICAS TO BE
OUR CHIEF LOGISTICS OFFICER SO
WE ARE LOOKING AT SUPPLY CHAINS
AND COMPANIES IN CHASING DOWN
EVERY LEAD TO ORDER FOR OUR
HOSPITALS SO HOSPITALS DON'T
HAVE TO COMPETE WITH EACH OTHER,
STATES DON'T HAVE TO COMPETE
WITH THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT,
IT'S A MESS OUT THERE.
RIGHT NOW WE ARE HOLDING ON BUT
IT'S WEEK TO WEEK.
>> Bill: YOU MENTIONED THE
PRESIDENT, I IMAGINE IT'S A
HOBSON'S CHOICE AS AN ELECTED
OFFICIAL ESPECIALLY IN
CALIFORNIA, NOT HIS FAVORITE
STATE BECAUSE AS YOU KNOW
BECAUSE HE WOULD'VE WON THE
POPULAR VOTE IF NOT FOR ALL THE
ILLEGAL VOTERS HERE.
IT'S A TOUGH CHOICE FOR A GUY
LIKE YOU BECAUSE ON THE ONE HAND
YOU WANT TO TELL THE TRUTH, ON
THE OTHER HAND IF YOU SAY
ANYTHING CRITICAL, THIS
PRESIDENT HAS SHOWN THAT HE WILL
DENY ESSENTIAL SERVICES AND
EQUIPMENT TO STATES THAT AREN'T
NICE ENOUGH TO HIM.
I GUESS WHAT I'M ASKING YOU IS
HOW ARE YOUR APPRAISING SKILLS
WHEN YOU NEED THEM FOR THIS
PRESIDENT?
>> I THINK YOU'RE DOING A GREAT
JOB, YOU'RE THE BEST ON
TELEVISION, BAR NONE.
BUT SERIOUSLY, I'LL SAY THANKS
TO ANYBODY, I WILL WORK WITH THE
PRESIDENT -- BEFORE THIS
HAPPENED TO THEM I WAS WORKING
WITH BEN CARSON, HAS SECRETARY
OF HOUSING AND URBAN DEVELOPMENT
EVEN THOUGH MY DEMOCRATIC
FRIENDS SAY DON'T BECAUSE HE HAD
GENUINE HEART ABOUT IT,
SOMETHING WITH THIS PRESIDENT.
THE NAVAL SHIP MERCY, HE BROUGHT
IT.
I TALKED TO FOLKS IN THE
WHITE HOUSE AND THEY SAID PART
OF WHAT HELPED BRING IT HERE BUT
I ALSO WON'T BE SHY ABOUT
CRITICIZING WHAT WE DON'T HAVE
AT THE NATIONAL LEVEL.
WE DON'T HAVE THE PREPARATION
FOR THIS, WE NEED TO PREPARE FOR
THE SECOND SPIKE OF THIS WHEN IT
COMES IN THE LATE FALL OR EARLY
WINTER.
WE'VE GOT TO USE ALL THE
RESOURCES OF THE FEDERAL
GOVERNMENT BETTER.
I'M A BIG FEDERALIST.
I LOVE IN CALIFORNIA WE HAVE
STATES RIGHTS AND CAN GO OUR OWN
WAY BUT FEDERALISM DEPENDS ON
THE CENTRAL GOVERNMENT DOING
SOME OF THE MOST IMPORTANT
THINGS LIKE DEFENDING OUR
COUNTRY WITH WARS, FOREIGN
POLICY, INTERNATIONAL TRADE, AND
CERTAINLY A PANDEMIC RESPONSE
WOULD FIT INTO THAT.
I WOULD LIKE TO SEE MUCH MORE
ASSERTIVE LEADERSHIP, MUCH
EARLIER ADOPTION, I'M GLAD HE IS
NOW SAYING THE WHOLE COUNTRY
SHOULD DO THIS BUT I GOT ON A
PHONE CALL WITH ABOUT 300 FELLOW
MAYORS TWO WEEKS AGO JUST AFTER
WE HAD DONE THIS AND I SAID DO
IT NOW.
I DON'T CARE IF YOU DON'T HAVE
ONE SINGLE CASE, IT'S COMING.
THE WAY THE MEDIA REPORTED THIS,
IT WAS COASTAL AND ALLOWED IT TO
BECOME A DEMOCRATIC OR BLUE
STATE THING.
WYOMING HAD THE SAME INFECTION
RATE AS L.A., SO DID
NORTH DAKOTA.
PER CAPITA, PEOPLE WEREN'T
LOOKING AT IT, THEY WERE LOOKING
AT ABSOLUTE NUMBERS.
THIS IS COMING TO YOUR TOWN NO
MATTER WHAT AND WE NEED NATIONAL
LEADERSHIP ON PROCUREMENT,
TESTING, STANDARDS, AND ADVICE
AND ADVICE.
>> Bill: I THINK YOU DID A
GOOD JOB ON THIS SO FAR, I WISH
YOU CONTINUED LUCK AND
HOPEFULLY -- HERE IN CALIFORNIA,
WE ARE THE LAND OF THE SEQUELS,
HOPEFULLY WE WON'T HAVE TO BE
DOING THIS AGAIN.
>> STRENGTH AND LOVE, I'LL LOOK
FORWARD TO COMING ON AFTER.
>> Bill: WE WILL SEE YOU IN
PERSON SOON.
WE ARE DELIGHTED TO HAVE THE
PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE AND
INDEPENDENT SENATOR FROM
VERMONT, BERNIE SANDERS IS WITH
US AS HE HAS BEEN MANY TIMES ON
OUR SHOW, NEVER UNDER SUCH
CIRCUMSTANCES.
YOU ARE A GUY WHO HAS SEEN A LOT
OF THINGS, WHERE DO YOU PLACE
THIS CRISIS IN AMERICAN HISTORY?
>> NEVER IN MY LIFETIME, BILL.
WHAT WE ARE LOOKING AT NOW IS
ABSOLUTELY UNPRECEDENTED.
WE ARE LOOKING AT A PANDEMIC THE
LIKES OF WHICH WE HAVE NOT SEEN
IN A HUNDRED YEARS, AND ECONOMIC
COLLAPSE THAT MAY END UP BEING
WORSE THAN THE GREAT DEPRESSION
WITH 30, 40 MILLION PEOPLE
BECOMING UNEMPLOYED IN THE NEXT
NUMBER OF MONTHS.
IT'S UNPRECEDENTED IN OUR
LIFETIMES.
>> Bill: WHAT WOULD YOU DO
RIGHT NOW IF YOU WERE THE
PRESIDENT?
>> THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WOULD
DO: THE MAIN POINT IS WE HAVE TO
PREVENT A BREAKDOWN IN THE
ENTIRE SYSTEM, THAT'S HOW
DANGEROUS IT IS RIGHT NOW.
IT'S MUCH EASIER TO MAINTAIN THE
SYSTEM THEN TO FIX IT AFTER IT
IS BROKEN -- WHAT DOES THAT
MEAN?
FROM AN ECONOMIC POINT OF VIEW,
IT MEANS THAT WE TELL EVERY
WORKER IN AMERICA YOU WILL
CONTINUE TO GET YOUR PAYCHECK.
WE KNOW YOU'RE NOT WORKING, WE
KNOW YOU'RE AT HOME, WE KNOW THE
BUSINESS IF YOU'RE WORKING FOR
IS NOT FUNCTIONING BUT WE ARE
GOING TO DO WITH THE U.K. IS
DOING, WHAT DENMARK IS DOING,
WHAT NORWAY'S DOING, WHAT FRANCE
IS DOING, YOU WILL CONTINUE TO
RECEIVE 100% OF YOUR PAYCHECK.
NUMBER TWO, WHAT WE'VE GOT TO DO
IS GUARANTEE THAT ALL PEOPLE IN
AMERICA DURING THE CRISIS GET
THE HEALTH CARE THEY NEED
WITHOUT OUT-OF-POCKET EXPENSE.
IT'S PRETTY CRAZY TO SAY TO
PEOPLE AS THE LAST STIMULUS
PACKAGE DID THAT YOU CAN GET
YOUR CORONAVIRUS TEST -- THE
GOVERNMENT PAYS FOR THAT, BUT IF
YOU'RE SICK AND GO TO THE
HOSPITAL, YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR
THAT OUT OF YOUR OWN POCKET.
NUMBER THREE, WHAT WE HAVE TO DO
IS PROTECT OUR HEALTH CARE
SYSTEM RIGHT NOW.
WE NEED TO USE THE DEFENSE
PRODUCTION ACT TO TELL THE
PRIVATE SECTOR, WHO WILL BE WELL
COMPENSATED, THEY MUST PRODUCE
THE MASKS, THE GROUNDS, THE
GLOVES, THE VENTILATORS THAT THE
HEALTH CARE SYSTEM REQUIRES.
ALSO, IF WE ARE EVER GOING TO
GET BACK TO NORMAL, WE ARE GOING
TO NEED A NEW LEVEL OF TESTING
THAT WE HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE.
AND I THINK WE CAN DO IT BUT WE
HAVE TO INVEST IN IT.
IT SAYS YOU HAVE BEEN TESTED
RIGHT NOW INSTANTANEOUSLY, YOU
ARE NOT SPREADING THE VIRUS, YOU
ARE NOT GOING TO BE SUSCEPTIBLE
TO THE VIRUS, YOU CAN GO INTO A
WORK ENVIRONMENT WITH OTHER
PEOPLE WHO ARE CLEAN AS WELL.
WE NEED TO INVEST VERY HEAVILY
AND TESTING.
WE ALSO NEED TO PROVIDE
SUBSTANTIAL HELP TO FEDERAL,
STATE, AND LOCAL GOVERNMENTS
BECAUSE THEY ARE RUNNING OUT OF
MONEY.
HE HELPED THEM IN THE LAST
STIMULUS PACKAGE, WE GOT TO DO
MORE IN THE NEXT STIMULUS
PACKAGE WHICH WE ARE WORKING ON
RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE IF THE COPS
ARE NOT BEING PAID, THE EMT
PEOPLE ARE NOT BEING PAID,
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A BREAKDOWN
IN THE SYSTEM.
WE HAVE ALSO GOT TO PROTECT
WORKING FAMILIES ALL OVER THIS
COUNTRY WHO CANNOT AFFORD RIGHT
NOW TO PAY THEIR RENT, THEIR
MORTGAGES, THEIR STUDENT LOANS,
THEIR AUTO LOANS AND SO FORTH.
PUT A FREEZE ON THOSE TYPE OF
PAYMENTS.
BOTTOM LINE IS IN MY VIEW WE ARE
IN AN UNPRECEDENTED MOMENT IN
AMERICAN HISTORY, WE'VE GOT TO
ACT IN AN UNPRECEDENTED WAY AND
I AM WORKING WITH OTHER SENATORS
AND MEMBERS OF CONGRESS ON WHAT
WILL BE AN UNPRECEDENTED PIECE
OF LEGISLATION TO TRY TO SAVE
THIS COUNTRY IN SUCH A DIFFICULT
MOMENT.
>> Bill: YOU MENTIONED GETTING
100% OF YOUR PAYCHECK, THE
CRITICISM OF YOU HAS OFTEN BEEN
THAT YOU ARE PROMISING MONEY
THAT THE GOVERNMENT COULD NOT
POSSIBLY COME UP WITH -- HOW
LONG CAN THE GOVERNMENT DO THAT?
HOW CAN WE JUST KEEP PRINTING
MONEY?
ISN'T THAT A RECIPE FOR ECONOMIC
DISASTER DOWN THE ROAD?
>> I THINK BY NOT PREVENTING A
CRISIS, YOU END UP SAVING MONEY
AND EASING A WHOLE LOT OF PAIN
IN THIS COUNTRY -- I DON'T THAT
WE HAVE AN ALTERNATIVE.
WE ARE LOOKING AT 30 OR
40 MILLION PEOPLE OVER A PERIOD
OF MONTHS, THREE, FOUR MONTHS,
LOSING THEIR JOBS.
AND IF WE DO NOT PROTECT THOSE
PEOPLE, YOU'RE GOING TO SEE A
COLLAPSE OF THE ECONOMY AND IT
WILL TAKE US MORE MONEY TO PUT
IT BACK TOGETHER.
WHAT I'M SUGGESTING, WHAT IS
ALREADY GOING ON IN THE U.K.,
GERMANY, NORWAY, DENMARK, AND
OTHER COUNTRIES -- IT'S NOT A
NEW ARGUMENT.
BY THE WAY, WE PUT THAT
PROVISION INTO THE RECENT
STIMULUS BILL FOR 2 MILLION
WORKERS IN THE AIRLINE INDUSTRY.
WHILE THE AIRLINE INDUSTRY IS
VIRTUALLY SHUT DOWN, THOSE
WORKERS WILL CONTINUE TO GET
100% OF THEIR PAYCHECK AND THEIR
HEALTH CARE WHICH IS WHAT WE
SHOULD BE DOING.
I'M NOT SUGGESTING THAT THIS IS
NOT AN EXPENSIVE PROPOSITION.
I'M SUGGESTING TO YOU THAT THE
ALTERNATIVE IS WORSE.
>> Bill: I FIND ONE OF THE
MOST GALLING PARTS OF THIS IS
THAT THE PRESIDENT IS FAVORING
CERTAIN STATES OVER THE OTHERS,
GOVERNORS WHO AREN'T NICE TO HIM
AS HE CALLS IT GET A LOT OF
ATTENTION AND ALL THE EQUIPMENT
THEY WANT, TO ME THIS IS AN EVEN
MORE IMPEACHABLE OFFENSE THAN
WHAT HE DID IN UKRAINE AND
RUSSIA -- HOW DO YOU STOP A
PRESIDENT WHO IS BLATANTLY NOT
THE PRESIDENT OF EVERY STATE
EQUALLY?
HOW DO YOU STOP A PRESIDENT WHO
SENDS ADA TO FLORIDA FOR EXAMPLE
BECAUSE HE LIKES THE GOVERNOR
THERE BUT NOT HERE TO CALIFORNIA
OR ILLINOIS OR MASSACHUSETTS?
>> IT IS LITERALLY BEYOND
COMPREHENSION.
WE HAVE A PRESIDENT WHO HAS DONE
SO MUCH HARM IN THE ENTIRE
PROCESS WHO HAS DOWNPLAYED THE
CRISIS FROM DAY ONE, IT WILL
COST US THROUGH HIS ACTIONS, NOT
LISTENING TO THE SCIENTISTS AND
SPOUTING OFF RIDICULOUS IDEAS IS
GOING TO COST THE LIVES OF MANY
THOUSANDS OF AMERICANS.
TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION,
CONGRESS HAS GOT TO STEP UP TO
THE PLATE AND STEP UP BIG TIME.
I WILL TELL YOU WHAT ELSE
CONCERNS ME.
THE WORST PART OF THIS TO
TRILLION DOLLAR STIMULUS PACKAGE
THAT WAS PASSED LAST WEEK AND I
VOTED FOR IT BUT THE WORST PART
OF IT WAS $500 BILLION GOING TO
THE PRESIDENT TO ALLOCATE THE
CORPORATE AMERICA WITH NO WHERE
NEAR THE KIND OF STRINGS
ATTACHED AND ACCOUNTABILITY THAT
SHOULD HAVE BEEN REQUIRED.
NOW HE'S SAYING I DON'T CARE
ABOUT ACCOUNTABILITY AT ALL, I
WILL DO WHAT I WANT.
TO PICK UP ON YOUR POINT, IF YOU
THINK DURING A CAMPAIGN YOU'RE
NOT GOING TO SEE A LOT OF MONEY
FROM THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION
GOING TO BATTLEGROUND STATES,
PENNSYLVANIA, MICHIGAN,
WISCONSIN, FLORIDA, YOU WOULD BE
GROSSLY UNDERESTIMATING THE
VENALITY OF THIS PRESIDENT.
THESE ARE GOING TO THE ISSUES WE
HAVE TO STAY ON AND WORK VERY
HARD ON.
>> Bill: DURING THE CAMPAIGN
YOU AND YOUR RIVALS DEBATED MANY
TIMES WHO HAS THE BETTER
HEALTH CARE PLAN, BUT MY POINT
HAS ALWAYS BEEN ONE THING I
NEVER HEAR FROM A POLITICIAN IS
SAYING TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE
"NO MATTER WHAT HEALTH CARE WE
HAVE, IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK
UNLESS YOU TAKE MORE
RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN
PERSONAL HEALTH."
ONE REASON WE ARE IN THE MESS WE
ARE IN IS BECAUSE AMERICANS ARE
NOT VERY HEALTHY TO BEGIN WITH.
I KNOW THIS IS UNDER THE
CATEGORY OF NEVER GOING TO
HAPPEN BUT IF I WAS PRESIDENT, I
WOULD INSTITUTE A MANHATTAN
PROJECT FORGETTING OUR IMMUNE
SYSTEMS IN BETTER SHAPE.
AND PART OF THAT IS SUGGESTING
VERY STRONGLY THAT PEOPLE EAT
BETTER FOOD AND LESS OF IT,
WOULD YOU AGREE?
>> ABSOLUTELY.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THE FEDERAL
GOVERNMENT SHOULD BE DOING, WHAT
THE SURGEON GENERAL SHOULD BE
DOING.
IN THE LONG RUN, AS YOU KNOW, WE
HAVE SEEN A DECLINE IN LIFE
EXPECTANCY THREE OUT OF THE LAST
FOUR YEARS.
MAJOR CRISES WITH DIABETES, WITH
OBESITY, WITH OPIOID ADDICTION,
ALCOHOL ADDICTION AND SUICIDE,
WE HAVE MANY PROBLEMS.
ONE OF THE AREAS THAT CONCERNS
ME VERY MUCH AS YOU HAVE THE
FOOD INDUSTRY SELLING ABSOLUTE
GARBAGE TO KIDS WITH ALL KINDS
OF SUGAR AND EVERYTHING ELSE IN
IT.
WE NEED A GOVERNMENT WORKING
HARD IN TERMS OF DISEASE
PREVENTION -- IT'S NOT JUST FOOD
FOOD.
IT'S EXERCISE, IT'S DOING A LOT
BETTER IN TERMS OF MENTAL HEALTH
THAN WE DO RIGHT NOW.
DISEASE PREVENTION IS OBVIOUSLY
THE WAY TO CREATE A HAPPY YEAR,
MORE FULFILLED SOCIETY AND ALSO
TO SAVE A OF A LOT OF MONEY IF
WE DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH
DIABETES AND HEART DISEASE AND
ALL OF THE ILLNESSES CAUSED BY
POOR DIETS AND OTHER THINGS.
>> Bill: I'M GLAD TO HEAR YOU
SAY THAT.
LAST QUESTION, IT'S A QUESTION
I'VE ASKED OTHER CANDIDATES
BEFORE, I DON'T SEEM EVER TO GET
A SATISFACTORY ANSWER BUT I'M
HOPEFUL FOR YOU.
THAT IS THIS.
I'VE BEEN SAYING FOR A NUMBER OF
YEARS THAT IF TRUMP LOSES THE
ELECTION, HE'S NOT GOING TO
LEAVE.
NOW I NOTICE A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE
TALKING ABOUT THIS VERY ISSUE.
IF YOU ARE ELECTED PRESIDENT AND
TRUMP GETS OUT THERE AND SAYS
THERE WERE IRREGULARITIES AND IT
WAS RIGGED AND IT WAS THIS AND
IT WAS THAT AND I'M NOT GOING
ANYWHERE UNTIL WE FIND OUT
WHAT'S GOING ON, WHAT DO YOU DO?
>> YOU MOBILIZE THE AMERICAN
PEOPLE IN THE WAY THEY HAVE
NEVER BEEN MOBILIZED BEFORE TO
ESSENTIALLY REMIND THIS
PRESIDENT THAT WHETHER HE LIKES
IT OR NOT, WE LIVE IN A
DEMOCRACY AND THE MAJORITY OF
THE AMERICAN PEOPLE THROUGH THE
ELECTORAL PROCESS WILL DETERMINE
WHO THE NEXT PRESIDENT IS.
WHAT YOU'RE DESCRIBING IS A
NIGHTMARISH SCENARIO OF
DEMOCRACY IN AMERICA.
DO I THINK YOU'RE CRAZY AND
OFF-THE-WALL?
I SUSPECT NOT BUT FROM NOW ON,
AND THE DAY AFTER HE LOSES, IF
HE LOSES THIS ELECTION HE WILL
BE OUT OF OFFICE AND REPLACED BY
THE NEW PRESIDENT.
>> Bill: I AM CRAZY AND
OFF-THE-WALL, I'M ALWAYS HAPPY
WHEN YOU JOIN US ON OUR SHOW.
STAY HEALTHY OUT THERE, GOOD
LUCK WITH THE CAMPAIGN AND I
HOPE TO SEE YOU IN PERSON
SOMEDAY SOON.
>> YOU TAKE CARE AS WELL.
♪ ♪
>> Bill: NOW WE ARE IN MY MAN
CAVE AND WHO BETTER TO HAVE IN
MY MAN CAVE THAN THE ULTIMATE
MULTI-IT HIMSELF, SETH
MacFARLANE!
WITH NO FUCKING PEOPLE AROUND.
>> YOU MIGHT BE THE FIRST PERSON
IN AMERICA TO PUT ON A SUIT IN
ABOUT THREE WEEKS.
>> Bill: PRINCE CHARLES HAS
CORONAVIRUS AND HE STILL PUTS ON
THE SUIT EVERY DAY WITH THE
POCKET SQUARE.
>> GOOD FOR HIM.
>> Bill: THAT'S ROYALTY.
I WANTED TO CHECK IN WITH MY
GOOD FRIEND AND SEE HOW HE IS
DOING DURING THIS DISASTER.
HE WASN'T AROUND, SO I'M ASKING
YOU -- NO, I WANT TO KNOW HOW
YOUR COPING.
>> I'M HAPPY TO BE FILLING IN
FOR MR. TRAVOLTA.
[LAUGHTER]
I'M HANGING IN THERE.
THE THING THAT I FIND IS THE
MOST IMPORTANT AT THIS TIME IS
TO STAY BUSY.
NOT JUST BY WATCHING MOVIES AND
TELEVISION BUT BY KEEPING
YOURSELF OCCUPIED.
FOR ME, I'VE TRIED TO STAY
WRITING.
I'VE TRIED TO CONTINUE READING
FOR PLEASURE, ANYTHING I CAN DO
TO KEEP MY BRAIN OCCUPIED I'VE
FOUND IS KEY.
>> Bill: YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK
HELPS, I DON'T WATCH A LOT OF
NEWS ABOUT THIS.
I CHECK IN THE MORNING TO SEE
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE IN
THE DARK ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON,
I USED TO WATCH A LOT OF CABLE
NEWS AND I DON'T NEED TO GET THE
BLOW-BY-BLOW ON THIS.
WAKE ME WHEN THEY CALL THE ALL
CLEAR.
UNTIL THEN IF I GET INTO A HOT
BATH AT NIGHT WITH A
GWYNETH PALTROW VAGINA
CANDLES -- REDUCING STRESS IS
THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO FOR
YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM, AND MY
RIGHT?
>> I KNOW IT'S HARD TO SLEEP AT
TIMES BUT SLEEP IS IMPORTANT.
IT'S ANYTHING YOU CAN DO -- I
KNOW EVERYONE IS FEELING, I FEEL
IT.
ENORMOUS ANXIETY DURING ALL OF
THIS AND IN A STRANGE WAY, AS
ODD AS IT IS, I FOUND SOME HOPE
IN READING ABOUT PANDEMICS OF
THE PAST BECAUSE THE ONE THING
THEY ALL HAVE IN COMMON IS THAT
THEY ALL EVENTUALLY SUBSIDE.
HERE IT'S TAKING A LITTLE BIT
MORE WORK THAN IT HAS IN THE
PAST TO SUFFOCATE THIS THING.
IT JUST REMINDS YOU THAT THIS
IS -- NO VIRUS EXISTS FOREVER
AND I THINK THE UPSIDE TO THIS
IS THANK GOD THIS IS NOT
SOMETHING LIKE EBOLA.
THIS IS A SITUATION WE SHOULD
NOT BE IN RIGHT NOW AND WE ALL
KNOW WHY WE ARE IN IT, WE DON'T
NEED TO REHASH THAT BUT IT'S A
DRESS REHEARSAL IN A LOT OF WAYS
FOR SOMETHING EVEN MORE SEVERE
AND EVEN MORE SERIOUS AND I
THINK THAT IF WE -- OUR
GOVERNMENT PARTICULARLY, LEARNS
THE LESSONS THAT THIS IS
TEACHING US, THE NEXT TIME THIS
COMES AROUND, THE NEXT TIME WE
FIND OURSELVES IN THIS
PREDICAMENT WAS SOMETHING MORE
DEADLY WHICH COULD HAPPEN, WE
WILL BE MUCH MORE PREPARED, MUCH
MORE READY TO FIGHT IT, AND
PRIOR TO THAT, THE RESPECT FOR
THE SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY THAT WE
SHOULD'VE HAD ALL ALONG BECAUSE
WE DO WE TURN TO WHEN THIS KIND
OF SHIT GOES DOWN?
ITS SCIENTISTS, ITS DOCTORS,
IT'S THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO CAN GET
US OUT OF THIS.
>> Bill: I'M SO GLAD YOU SAID
ALL THAT, I FEEL THE SAME WAY.
I'M NOT PERSONALLY THAT AFRAID
OF THIS ONE BECAUSE I DON'T
THINK IT'S THAT -- YES, CAN IT
KILL YOU?
ABSOLUTELY.
BUT I SEE TOM HANKS LOOKS LIKE
HE'S OKAY, WE'RE THE SAME AGE.
WE DON'T KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT IT.
I WOULD LOVE SCIENTISTS TO DO A
DEEP DIVE INTO WHY CERTAIN
PEOPLE WHO SEEM LIKE THEY ARE
HEALTHY GET IT BUT USUALLY IT'S
SOME SORT OF UNDERLYING
CONDITION.
>> IT CAN BE.
I'VE HEARD ENOUGH INSTANCES OF,
ANECDOTAL INSTANCES OF PEOPLE
WHO ARE PERFECTLY HEALTHY AND
RELATIVELY YOUNG AND HAVE
SUCCUMBED TO THIS THING.
I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT TO
REMEMBER THAT THERE IS A LITTLE
BIT OF RUSSIAN ROULETTE TO THIS.
YOU CAN'T ASSUME THAT YOU ARE
STEELED AGAINST IT.
AGAIN, THE FIGURES ARE -- ALLOW
FOR A CERTAIN DEGREE OF OPTIMISM
BUT SOMEBODY SAID, THEY GAVE ME
THE ANALOGY, IF YOU'RE GIVEN A
BAG OF SKITTLES AND THEY TELL
YOU THAT TWO OF THEM ARE POISON,
YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT GOING TO
TOUCH THE BAG AT ALL.
EVEN THOUGH YOUR ODDS ARE STILL
PRETTY GOOD.
>> Bill: THAT'S WHY WE ARE ALL
FOLLOWING THE PROTOCOL, I'M
ASSUMING YOU'RE THERE -- AND YOU
LIVE IN A TWO ROOM APARTMENT, DO
YOU NOT?
THIS IS ESPECIALLY TOUGH ON YOU.
>> RIGHT NEXT TO THE AIRPORT.
>> Bill: IT'S GOT TO BE TOUGH
LOCKED UP IN YOUR LITTLE
APARTMENT.
ARE YOU SINGLE THESE DAYS?
DO YOU HAVE A CORONA BUDDY?
>> FOR STARTERS, I HAVE MY CATS.
WHICH BY THE WAY IS -- THAT'S
SOMETHING, YOU TALK ABOUT THE
GREAT EQUALIZER, THINGS THAT
PEOPLE LIKE US WE TAKE FOR
GRANTED, WE TAKE OUR
HOUSEKEEPERS FOR GRANTED, WE
TAKE HOUSEWORK FOR GRANTED,
THINGS LIKE LAUNDRY AND CHANGING
THE CAP BOX, I WILL NEVER AGAIN
PRETEND THAT THE JOB OF A
STAY-AT-HOME MOM IS NOT WAY
HARDER THAN WHAT I DO ON A DAILY
BASIS.
WHEN I COMPARE THIS, THIS SET OF
TASKS, EVEN FIGURING OUT HOW TO
DO FLOORS, MY GOD IT'S A OF A
LOT HARDER THAN MAKING TV.
>> Bill: I CAN TELL YOU HOW TO
DO FLOORS -- DON'T!
DON'T.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
THE FLOORS CAN WAIT UNTIL THE
VIRUS ENDS.
I HAVEN'T CHANGED MY SHEETS YET.
>> YOU GOT TO DO THAT.
>> Bill: I'M PLANNING ON IT.
>> THAT'S MUCH EASIER, THERE'S A
SETTING ON THE WASHING MACHINE
THAT SAYS BEDDING, I'M ASSUMING
THAT'S FOR SHEETS.
>> Bill: I WAS GOING TO ASK
YOU ABOUT THAT.
LISTEN, I'VE GOT A PEACH COBBLER
IN THE OVEN THAT I PUT IN THIS
AFTERNOON THAT I GOT A GET TO
RIGHT NOW.
IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU, I KNOW
YOU'RE DOING A PODCAST WITH
BRIAN AND STEWIE WHICH IS
FANTASTIC, I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE
NEXT SEASON OF T.E
THE ORVILLE.
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU, WILL BE
OUT GETTING DRUNK.
SETH MacFARLANE, EVERYBODY!
THERE'S NOBODY HERE.
MY NEXT GUEST IS MAX BROOKS,
HE'S THE AUTHOR OF A NEW BOOK
AND YOU ARE ALL GOING HAVE
PLENTY OF TIME TO SIT AT HOME TO
READ THAT.
WHAT IS SO APROPOS IS HE'S ALSO
THE AUTHOR OF WORLD WAR Z, THE
ZOMBIES ARE COMING NEXT.
PLEASE WELCOME MAX BROOKS.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
>> GOOD TO BE HERE IN MY ATTIC.
>> Bill: IC AND THOSE EAR
PLUGS THEY ARE FOR ME?
I'M HOPING YOU'RE NOT LISTENING
TO SOMEONE ELSE.
>> OF COURSE NOT!
PASS THE BALL.
PASS IT!
>> Bill: THERE ARE NO GAMES
RIGHT NOW, WHO ARE YOU KIDDING?
WORLD WAR Z, SUCH A GREAT BOOK
AND MOVIE AND I THINK PEOPLE
MIGHT NOT UNDERSTAND THAT YOU
ARE SUCH AN EXPERT IN THIS, YOU
HAVE TESTIFIED BEFORE CONGRESS.
YOU TESTIFIED BEFORE SOMETHING
CALLED THE BLUE RIBBON BIO
DEFENSE PANEL.
WHAT WERE THEY LOOKING TO FIND
OUT OR WERE THEY JUST ASKING YOU
WHAT IT'S LIKE TO WORK WITH
BRAD PITT?
AND WHAT WAS YOUR PARTICULAR
EXPERTISE THAT THEY WANTED TO
HAVE YOU THERE FOR?
>> THE DEFENSE PANEL WAS TRYING
TO GET US READY FOR THE NEXT
GENERATION OF GERMAN ATTACKS
BECAUSE THIS ONE MIGHT HAVE
CRAWLED OUT OF THE JUNGLE BUT
THE NEXT ONE MIGHT CRAWL OUT OF
A LAB.
THEY ARE TRYING TO READY OUR
DEFENSES.
WHAT THEY WANTED FROM ME AS
PUBLIC OUTREACH BECAUSE IN OUR
REPUBLIC, IT DOESN'T DO ANY GOOD
TO GET ALL THE EXPERTS TOGETHER
IF YOU CAN'T EDUCATE THE
TAXPAYER AND THE VOTERS.
HOW DO WE DO THAT?
THAT'S WHY THEY HAD ME COME AND
LISTEN TO THEIR HEARING ON
CAPITOL HILL.
>> Bill: WHAT DID YOU TELL
THEM?
>> I SAID THE MOST IMPORTANT
THING IS YOU NEED TO FIND WAYS
OF REACHING OUT.
YOU NEED TO FIND THE EDUCATORS.
WHEN WE HAD THE MEASLES OUTBREAK
IN NEW YORK AND THE ORTHODOX
JEWISH COMMUNITY THEY REACHED
OUT TO RABBIS, SO WE'VE GOT TO
FIND WHO ARE THE RABBIS ON THE
LOCAL LEVEL?
BBE AT A PASTOR IN A RURAL RED
STATE OR THE YOGA GUY RIGHT HERE
IN VENICE.
THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT PEOPLE
LISTEN TO AND WE NEED TO EDUCATE
THEM SO THEY CAN EDUCATE THEIR
FLOCK.
>> Bill: THEY ARE CALLED
INFLUENCERS, THERE ARE 19 AND
THERE ON INSTAGRAM.
>> THAT'S WHAT WE DO, WE FIND A
YOUTUBE OR WHO OPENS BOXES AND
HE SAYS LET'S OPEN A BOX?
A VACCINE!
THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT.
>> Bill: YOU MENTIONED
SOMETHING THAT MIGHT CRAWL OUT
OF A LAB.
THERE HAVE BEEN RUMORS THAT THIS
VIRUS THAT WE ARE DEALING WITH
NOW STARTED IN A LAB IN WUHAN
CHINA AND THAT'S NOT
UNPRECEDENTED.
THAT REALLY HAPPENED IN THE
SOVIET UNION IN THE 70s, DID
IT NOT?
>> I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THIS
PARTICULAR VIRUS CAME FROM BUT I
CAN TELL YOU THERE IS A
PRESIDENT IN 1970s IN THE
SOVIET UNION, IT WAS A MASSIVE
CITY DEVOTED TO MAKING WEAPONS.
ONE OF THOSE WEAPONS WAS A
GERMAN WEAPON, IT WAS ANTHRAX,
AND IT GOT OUT.
FOR DECADES WE WERE TRYING TO
UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS GOING ON AND
THE SOVIETS WERE SAYING IT'S
TAINTED TO MEET, DON'T WORRY
ABOUT IT, IT'S MINOR, MINOR.
IT TOOK UNTIL THE 1990s FOR
BORIS YELTSIN TO ADMIT THAT IT
WAS AN ACCIDENT AT A GERM
WEAPONS FACTORY AND IT KILLED
AND SICKENED MANY MORE PEOPLE
THAN WE HAD ANY IDEA.
IT WAS THE SOVIET UNION'S
BIOLOGICAL CHERNOBYL.
>> Bill: THAT COULD HAPPEN
AGAIN.
>> IT COULD HAPPEN AGAIN
ESPECIALLY IN A COUNTRY WHERE
THERE IS NO FREE PRESS.
THERE WERE RUMORS HERE IN ANY
COUNTRY WITH A FREE PRESS, YOU
CAN VALIDATE IT, YOU CAN
VALIDATE IT FROM THE LOCAL
CITIZENRY BUT IN A COUNTRY LIKE
CHINA THAT SENSORS THE PRESS AND
SENSORS ITS OWN CITIZENS ON
SOCIAL MEDIA, IT CREATES A DARK
SPACE RIPE FOR CONSPIRACY
THEORIES.
>> Bill: THAT IS PRECISELY WHY
THAT YOU SET WORLD WAR Z IN
CHINA OR RATHER THE DISEASE
COMING OUT OF CHINA BECAUSE IT'S
SO PRESCIENT.
THAT'S EXACTLY WHY THIS DISEASE
THAT WE ARE REALLY DEALING WITH
NOW GOT OUT.
IT WAS THE VERY KIND OF REGIME
THAT WOULD SHUT DOWN TALKING
ABOUT IT.
>> I WAS MODELING WORLD WAR Z ON
THE FIRST SARS OUTBREAK IN THE
EARLY 2000s BECAUSE IT'S NOT
ENOUGH TO HAVE A LARGE
POPULATION AND A RAPID
TRANSPORTATION NETWORK SO THE
VIRUS CAN SPREAD LIKE WILDFIRE,
YOU ALSO NEED A GOVERNMENT THAT
IS WILLING TO SUPPRESS THE TRUTH
WHICH IS WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE
FIRST SARS OUTBREAK WHERE THE
WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION KNEW
IT WAS GOING ON AND CHINA WAS
DOING "IT WASN'T ME."
IT GOT OUT AND SUDDENLY IT'S
AROUND THE WORLD.
I WAS LOOKING BACK HOPING
AGAINST HOPE THAT CHINA HAD
LEARNED ITS LESSON AND CLEARLY
IT HAS NOT.
>> Bill: YOU WERE ALSO
INVOLVED IN SOMETHING CALLED THE
VIBRANT RESPONSE EXERCISE, I
THINK IT WAS IN 2011.
I KNOW YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT ALL
THE ASPECTS OF IT BECAUSE IT WAS
SOMEWHAT SECRET BUT THIS WAS
YOUR EXPERTISE THEY WANTED AND
THIS INVOLVED EVERYBODY.
THE MILITARY, THE
NATIONAL GUARD, FEMA,
VIROLOGISTS, EVEN TRIBAL LEADERS
WERE INVOLVED BECAUSE THIS WAS
AN EXERCISE TO PLAN FOR
SOMETHING CATACLYSMIC, PERHAPS A
NUCLEAR ATTACK, THAT WOULD
HAPPEN ON AMERICAN SOIL.
TELL US WHAT THAT WAS ALL ABOUT
AND I'M VERY INTERESTED IN THE
IDEA THAT THEY WERE PARTICULARLY
KEEN ON LIVING BY THE RULE OF
LAW, EVEN IN A DISASTER.
>> VIRAL RESPONSE, I WAS THERE
AS AN OBSERVER AND I'M NOT SURE
WHAT I CAN TALK ABOUT AND WHAT I
CAN'T TALK ABOUT BUT I CAN TELL
YOU IT WAS A HOMELAND NUCLEAR
EXERCISE, IT WAS THE DOOMSDAY
SCENARIO.
WHAT IF SOMEBODY SET OFF A NUKE
IN A MAJOR AMERICAN CITY AND I
WATCHED EVERY ORGAN OF
GOVERNMENT COME TOGETHER FROM
THE FEDERAL RIGHT DOWN TO THE
LOCAL.
AND I CAN TELL YOU THAT IT'S ALL
ACCORDING TO WHAT IS CALLED THE
NATIONAL RESPONSE FRAMEWORK
WHICH IS THE NATIONAL MASTER
DISASTER PLAN WHAT DO WE DO WHEN
THE SHIT COMES DOWN?
AND A GOOD SECTION OF THAT PLAN
IS ENSURING THAT WE PROTECT OUR
RIGHTS AS WELL AS OUR LIVES.
THIS NOTION THAT IF WE SUDDENLY
FEDERALIZE THIS RESPONSE WE WILL
BACKSLIDE INTO DICTATORSHIP IS
BULLSHIT.
THE WHOLE REASON WE HAVE THESE
PLANS AND EXERCISE WITH THE MEN
WE BRING IN ARMIES OF LAWYERS IS
SPECIFICALLY SO WE CAN DO THIS
IN THE AMERICAN WAY WITHOUT
TRAMPLING ON ANY OF OUR RIGHTS
AND TO PROVE THAT DEMOCRACY IN
CRISIS CAN SUCCEED.
>> Bill: IT'S INTERESTING.
I WOULD EXPECT THAT
PRESIDENT TRUMP WOULD USE THIS
TO BECOME AN AUTHORITARIAN MORE
THAN HE ALREADY WANTS TO BE AND
WE'VE SEEN THIS ALREADY IN OTHER
COUNTRIES.
WE ARE SEEING THIS AROUND THE
WORLD, ISRAEL -- THERE ARE NO
MORE COURTS THERE.
HUNGARY, BOLIVIA, CHILE, LOTS OF
COUNTRIES ARE USING THIS AS AN
EXCUSE -- THERE'S A REASON WHY
YOU HAVE TO EMPLOY DIFFERENT
METHODS IN A DISASTER LIKE THIS.
I'M SURPRISED THAT
PRESIDENT TRUMP HASN'T INVOKED
THE DEFENSE ACT WHERE YOU CAN
ORDER A PRIVATE INDUSTRY WE DID
WITH WORLD WAR II.
WE SAID STOP MAKING CARS, WE
NEED TO MAKE TANKS AND PLANES.
WHAT DO YOU THINK HE IS
HESITATING, WHY IS HE HESITATING
ABOUT THAT?
>> I HAVE NO IDEA WHY HE IS NOT
ENACTED THE FULL FORCE OF THE
FEDERAL GOVERNMENT.
IT MIGHT BE A SMALL GROUP OF
DIE-HARD AYN RAND IDEOLOGUES WHO
DON'T WANT TO SEE BIG GOVERNMENT
SUCCEED IN A CRISIS AND IT
VALIDATES THE IDEA OF BIG
GOVERNMENT WHICH IS WHY WE HAVE
A BIG GOVERNMENT, SPECIFICALLY
FOR EMERGENCIES.
MAYBE THEY DON'T WANT THAT,
MAYBE IT'S JUST STUPIDITY, MAYBE
IT'S ARROGANCE, MAYBE IT'S
MAGICAL THINKING -- I DON'T
KNOW.
I WILL TELL YOU THIS, THIS IDEA
THAT WE WERE CAUGHT UNAWARE,
THAT THIS IS SOMETHING LIKE
GODZILLA COMING OUT OF THE OCEAN
THAT WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT -- OH
LOOK!
HERE'S THE PLAN'S SITTING ON MY
DESK, THAT'S NOT FROM THE
DARK WEB.
THE GOVERNMENT WANTS YOU TO READ
THESE PLANS BECAUSE IN A CRISIS,
REPUBLIC HAS TO DEPEND ON ITS
CITIZENRY.
THIS IDEA THAT IF WE ENACTED THE
DEFENSE PRODUCTION ACT, SUDDENLY
WHERE VENEZUELA -- THAT'S A
COMPLETE LIE BECAUSE THE DEFENSE
PRODUCTION ACT WAS SPECIFICALLY
WRITTEN TO PRESERVE FREE
ENTERPRISE CAPITALISM AND OUR
CONSTITUTION.
>> Bill: WELL SAID.
I APPRECIATE YOU I WAS GOING TO
SAY COMING OVER HERE, I WAS
GONNA SAY I KNOW YOU'RE BUSY,
BUT WE KNOW ALL THAT'S BULLSHIT.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DOING THIS
AND FOR LENDING YOUR EXPERTISE
AND I HOPE I SEE YOU AGAIN IN
PERSON SOON.
>> THANK YOU, TAKE CARE, BE
SAFE.
>> Bill: WE ARE BACK HERE FROM
MY MAN CAVE AND WE HAVE A TRUE
LEGEND, AN ICON, HE'S GOT A NEW
ALBUM OUT -- IT WAS SUPPOSED TO
BE OUT THIS MONTH, IT WILL BE
OUT IN JULY NOW.
IT'S CALLED THE FIRST ROWS OF
SPRING AN IRONIC TITLE GIVEN
THAT THIS IS THE LOST SPRING OF
2020 BUT THIS IS A MAN WHO HAS
NEVER LOST -- WILLIE NELSON!
HOW ARE YOU?
>> I'M DOING GREAT, HOW ARE YOU
DOING?
>> Bill: AS WELL AS CAN BE
EXPECTED UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES
CIRCUMSTANCES, AND NATIONAL
CRISIS TIMES, THE THING ON MOST
AMERICANS MINDS IS DARTING
NATIONAL TREASURES AND YOU ARE
ONE.
I GUESS AMERICA WANTS TO KNOW --
YOU LOOK GREAT, YOU FEEL GOOD?
>> SAY THAT AGAIN?
>> Bill: I SAID YOU LOOK
GREAT, YOU FEEL GOOD?
>> OH, YEAH, CONSIDERING.
>> Bill: YOU'VE SEEN A LOT, OF
COURSE.
AS FAR AS CRISES GO THAT YOU'VE
SEEN IN THIS COUNTRY, WHERE
WOULD YOU PUT THIS ON THE SCALE?
>> IT'S GOT TO BE UP THERE
AROUND NUMBER ONE, I THINK,
BECAUSE I THINK THIS IS ONE OF
THE CRAZIEST TIMES THAT I CAN
REMEMBER.
>> Bill: I REMEMBER BEING WITH
YOU THIS LAST NEW YEAR'S EVE, WE
WERE IN MAUI AND WE WERE
BACKSTAGE AND YOU WERE KIND
ENOUGH TO HELP US OUT WITH OUR
LITTLE SKETCHES THERE AND YOU
ARE HESITANT TO PULL ON THE
JOINT.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT OF COURSE YOU DID.
>> I WAS SOCIAL DISTANCING WAY
BACK THEN.
>> Bill: YOU WERE AHEAD OF
YOUR TIME BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS
HAVE BEEN.
GIVEN THAT SOMEBODY HAS TO WATCH
THE LUNGS BECAUSE THIS IS A
DISEASE THAT ATTACKS THE LUNGS,
ARE YOU BEING ESPECIALLY CAREFUL
WITH THE MAUI WOWIE?
>> I SMOKE A LITTLE EVERY NOW
AND THEN BUT I TRY NOT TO OVERDO
IT.
USUALLY I WIND UP OVERDOING
EVERYTHING.
>> Bill: I HOPE IF THERE'S A
SILVER LINING HERE, IT'S GOING
TO TEACH US WHAT WE REALLY
TREASURE AND WHAT WE REALLY
NEED.
I HAVE ONLY BEEN EATING IT SINCE
THIS CAME ALONG.
>> THAT'S GOOD TOO, YEAH.
EDIBLES.
>> Bill: I DON'T LIKE TO EAT
IT BECAUSE IT MAKES ME PARANOID
BUT THEN IF I SMOKE IT, I FEEL
IT IN MY LUNGS AND THAT MAKES ME
MORE PARANOID.
I GOT TO GET IT INTO MY BODY
SOMEHOW, IT'S EITHER THAT OR
STICK ABOUT MY ASS.
>> I QUIT SMOKING CIGARETTES BY
ROLLING UP TO 20 THICK JOINTS
AND PUTTING HIM IN A LUCKY
STRIKE PACKAGE AND THREW IT AWAY
AND I HAVEN'T SMOKED A CIGARETTE
SINCE.
I'VE LET NATURE TAKE IT'S COURSE
AND SO FAR AT 87, I'M NOT DOING
THAT BAD.
>> Bill: YOU LOOK FANTASTIC
AND THIS IS ON AN iPHONE.
YOU FIND OUT WHAT YOU REALLY
NEED.
I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT WHAT YOU
WOULD REALLY NEED TO LIVE IS
BEING ON THE ROAD AND AMONG
PEOPLE AND ON MARIJUANA.
>> I REALLY MISS BEING ON THE
ROAD AND I MISS SEEING ALL THE
PEOPLE.
WE COME OUT TO EXCHANGE GOOD
POSITIVE ENERGY, WHO CARES
WHETHER YOU'RE A DEMOCRAT OR
REPUBLICAN?
IF YOU LIKE ON THE ROAD AGAIN,
THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.
>> Bill: I DO, I LOVE "ON THE
ROAD AGAIN" AND I LOVE WHEN
YOU'RE ON THE ROAD AGAIN.
WHAT ABOUT PEOPLE AROUND YOU?
YOU HEAR A LOT ABOUT IF YOU ARE
YOUNG, YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT GOING
TO BE FELLED BY THIS BUT YOU
HAVE TO BE CAREFUL BECAUSE IF
YOU'RE AROUND SOMEBODY IN THE
AGE GROUP YOU'RE IN OR ON FAST
APPROACHING, YOU HAVE TO BE
ESPECIALLY CAREFUL.
WHAT RESPONSIBILITY DO YOU THINK
THE ELDERLY HAVE TO SAY TO
PEOPLE "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM A
QUESTION MARK" >> YEAH, GO HOME.
>> Bill: HAVE YOU HAD TO SAY
THAT THE PEOPLE?
>> UNFORTUNATES, I'M OUT HERE ON
A NICE PLACE WITH A WHOLE LOT OF
HORSES AND I JUST TRY TO LIVE
THAT WAY AS MUCH AS I CAN.
>> Bill: YOU'RE IN TEXAS,
TEXAS IS KNOWN AS A STATE THAT
BELIEVES IN INDIVIDUAL RIGHTS,
SO I GUESS THIS IS A TOUGH ONE
FOR THEM BECAUSE THEY HAVE GIVEN
OUT DIRECTIVES FOR PEOPLE TO
STAY OUT OF BARS AND RESTAURANTS
AND FOOD COURTS AND MASSAGE
PARLORS -- MY QUESTION IS, WHAT
DO YOU MISS MOST ABOUT THE FOOD
COURT?
>> THERE'S AN OLD SAYING THAT
YOU CAN ALWAYS TELL A TEXAN, BUT
YOU CAN'T TELL HIM MUCH.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Bill: THAT'S RIGHT, BUT IN
THIS ONE, THEY SHOULD LISTEN.
FINAL QUESTION HERE, I'VE BEEN A
LITTLE UPSET BECAUSE I GIVE A
LOT OF MY TAXES, AS WE ALL DO,
TO THE GOVERNMENT.
I LIVE IN CALIFORNIA, IT'S NOT
LIKE TEXAS.
WE PAY STATE TAXES THAT ARE JUST
CRAZY.
PLUS THE FEDERAL TAXES.
THIS IS LIKE JOB ONE FOR THE
GOVERNMENT, TO PROTECT US IN
TIMES OF CRISIS LIKE THESE.
I WANT TO SAY AS A GUY WHO WANTS
DIDN'T PAY HIS TAXES, YOU ARE
WAY AHEAD OF YOUR TIME AND I
APPRECIATE THAT, THEY HAVE DONE
A SHIP JOB PROTECTING AND DOING
THE ONE FUCKING THING THE
GOVERNMENT SHOULD DO.
STAY HEALTHY, I WANT TO SEE YOU
WHEN I'M IN HAWAII NEXT TIME.
>> YOU GOT IT.
>> Bill: YOUR ALBUM IS OUT,
IT'S CALLED FIRST ROSE OF
SPRING, IT WILL BE OUT IN JULY.
>> IT MIGHT BE THE LAST ROWS OF
SPRING.
>> Bill: YOU WILL NOT BE THE
LAST ANYTHING!
WE'LL SEE YOU SOON.
NOW IT'S TIME FOR NEW RULES!
♪ ♪
NEW RULE: THE MAN WHO DISGUISED
HIMSELF AS A DOG TO SNEAK OUT
DURING QUARANTINE MUST FIND THE
MAN WHO DISGUISED HIMSELF AS A
BUSH TO SPEAK OUT DURING
QUARANTINE AND PEE ON HIM.
NEW RULE, EVERYONE MUST
APOLOGIZE TO, TURNS OUT THEY
WEREN'T AT ALL, THEY WERE JUST
WAY AHEAD OF THEIR TIME.
NEW RULE, AND TILL THIS IS
OVERCOME A JOE'S CASHIERS HAVE
TO SKIP THE FRIENDLY CHITCHAT.
DID YOU FIND EVERYTHING YOU NEED
TODAY?
SERIOUSLY?
YOU'VE BEEN LOOTED BY WHITE
YUPPIES, I'M WALKING OUT OF HERE
WITH A BOTTLE OF GERKIN'S AND
SOME ALMOND BISCOTTI.
TAKE THAT AS A HINT NOW'S A GOOD
TIME TO SHUT UP FUCK UP.
NEW RULE: MARRIED COUPLES WHO
HAVE SPENT YEARS QUIETLY PITYING
SINGLE PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY THOSE
OF US WHO DON'T HAVE CHILDREN,
HAVE TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION,
HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW?
AND FINALLY, NEW RULE.
I'M ALL FOR RALLYING AROUND THE
FLAG BUT LET'S NOT RALLY AROUND
THE GUY WHO MISSED ALL THE
RED FLAGS.
AMERICA HAS BEEN SLOW AND
INEFFICIENT IN RESPONDING TO
THIS CRISIS AND YET OUR LEADER'S
RATING IS UP BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT
WE DO.
IN TIMES OF CRISIS, OUR LEADERS
GET A BUMP IN THE POLLS WHETHER
IT'S JUSTIFIED OR NOT BECAUSE OF
ACRISIS IS NO TIME TO THINK AND
RALLYING AROUND THE PRESIDENT IS
JUST ONE OF THOSE IRRATIONAL
THINGS WE DO IN A CRISIS, LIKE
ACCORDING CHARMAN OR PRAYING.
ESPECIALLY IF THE PRESIDENT SAYS
HE'S A WARTIME LEADER WHICH THIS
PRESIDENT SAYS HE IS NOW.
UNFORTUNATELY, THAT'S A WAR ON
SCIENCE.
AMERICANS HAVE MADE THIS MISTAKE
BEFORE.
ON SEPTEMBER 11TH 2001 AS
PRESIDENT BUSH WAS READING "MY
PET GOAT" TO SCHOOLCHILDREN, AN
AIDE WHISPERED IN HIS EAR
AMERICA IS UNDER ATTACK AND HE
SAT THERE LOOKING LIKE HE FORGOT
TO TURN OFF THE STOVE.
HIS RESPONSE WAS "THE ATTACK CAN
WAIT, LET'S FIND OUT WHAT
HAPPENED TO THE GOAT."
AND THEN OF COURSE, BECAUSE
AMERICA, HIS APPROVAL RATING
WENT UP.
AFTER THE ATTACK, MUCH LIKE THE
TRUMP PEOPLE NOW, THEY SAID WHO
COULD HAVE IMAGINED THIS?
IN BOTH CASES, EXPERTS.
EXPERTS DID.
BUSH WAS REPEATEDLY WARNED THAT
AL QAEDA COULD CRASH A PLANE
INTO THE PENTAGON AND THE FBI
REPORTED THAT WEIRD HOLY MEN
WERE TRAINING AT U.S. FLIGHT
SCHOOLS, PRACTICING THE FLYING
PART, NO INTE INTEREST IN LANDI.
THERE WAS THE FAMOUS MEMO
"BIN LADEN DETERMINED TO STRIKE
IN THE U.S.."
VERONICA MARS COULD'VE PUT THIS
TOGETHER IN 40 MINUTES, AL QAEDA
DID EVERYTHING BUT SEND HIM AN
EMAIL "SEPTEMBER 11TH, SAVE THE
DATE."
WAS THIS CURRENT CRISIS
PREVENTABLE?
NOT ALL OF IT, OF COURSE.
WE COULD HAVE DONE WHAT
SOUTH KOREA DID, THEIR NIGHTMARE
STARTED THE EXACT SAME DAY.
WHILE TRUMP SHUT UP EXPERTS,
HAPPY TALK, AND LIED HIS ASS
OFF, SOUTH KOREA PUT A STRONG
TESTING PROGRAM IN PLACE,
TRACING PEOPLE AND THEY HAVE 21
TIMES FEWER CASES AND 31 TIMES
FEWER DEATHS.
THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO DO A BIG
LOCK DOWN SO THEIR PETS AREN'T
LOOKING AT THEM LIKE A DON'T YOU
HAVE SOME PLACE TO BE?
IF THIS IS A WAR, TRUMP LOST
THAT IN JANUARY.
HE'S NOT FDR OR JFK, HE IS LOL.
IT'S DISTURBING HE'S GETTING A
BUMP IN THE POLLS, IT TELLS US
WE ARE ENTERING INTO RALLY
AROUND THE LEADER TIME.
AROUND THE GUY WHO MADE IT WORSE
WORSE.
COME ON, TOILET PAPER IS NOW
MORE VALUABLE THAN THE DOLLAR.
WE DO HAVE ACTUAL HEROES HERE,
THEY'RE WORKING IN HOSPITALS,
DOCTORS ON THE FRONT LINES,
STOCKERS AT GROCERY STORES AND
CASHIERS AT WEED DISPENSARIES.
BUT NOT TRUMP.
LET'S STOP DOING THIS THING
WHERE WE DELUDE OURSELVES INTO
LIE ADVISING SOMEONE JUST
BECAUSE THEY WERE THERE WHEN THE
SHIT HIT THE FAN.
GIULIANI WAS NOT POPULAR IN
NEW YORK BEFORE 9/11 AND THEN WE
HAD A CRISIS AND SOON HE WAS
AMERICA'S MAYOR.
"NEW YORK MAGAZINE" SAID PEOPLE
YEARN TO EXPERIENCE HIS
PRESENCE.
HIS WIVES, NOT SO MUCH.
OVER THE LAST TWO DECADES, RUDY
HAS TRAVELED THE WORLD AS AN
INTERNATIONAL SECURITY EXPERT
DESPITE THE FACT THAT HIS BIG
SECURITY DECISION AS MAYOR WAS
TO OVERRIDE OBJECTIONS FROM THE
NYPD AND THE SECRET SERVICE, AND
PUT THE CITY'S EMERGENCY COMMAND
CENTER IN THE ONE PLACE IT WAS
MOST LIKELY TO BE WIPED OUT, IN
THE WORLD TRADE CENTER AFTER IT
HAD BEEN BOMBED THE FIRST TIME.
IT WOULD BE LIKE STATIONING OR
TORNADO RESPONSE TEAM INSIDE A
TRAILER PARK.
THE ROOT PROBLEM WE GOT HERE AS
REPUBLICANS ARE BETTER AT
POLITICS AND SO THEY GET ELECTED
BUT ONCE IN OFFICE, THEY CAN'T
DO ANYTHING.
BECAUSE THEIR IDEA OF GOVERNMENT
THIS DISMANTLING GOVERNMENT.
LET'S ALSO SKIP THE "WE NEED TO
BE LESS PARTISAN" VIRTUE
SIGNALING WHEN IT'S OBVIOUS
REPUBLICANS HAVE A PROUD, PROVEN
LEGACY OF GOVERNMENT DYSFUNCTION
SYNDROME.
YESTERDAY IT WAS BUSH AND
GIULIANI, TODAY, IT'S TRUMP,
McCONNELL, AND RON DeSANTIS
AND WE CAN ONLY BE SAFER WHEN
EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM IS VOTED
OUT.
THAT'S OUR SHOW FROM MY
BACKYARD!
I WANT TO THANK OUR GUESTS
BERNIE SANDERS, ERIC GARCETTI,
MAX BROOKS, SETH MacFARLANE,
AND WILLIE NELSON AND I'LL BE --
NOWHERE, I'LL BE HERE!
BUT WE'LL BE BACK NEXT WEEK.
THANK YOU FOLKS, GOOD NIGHT!
♪ ♪
♪ (UPTEMPO MUSIC PLAYS) ♪