♪ ♪ >> START THE CLOCK.
♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Bill: THANK YOU, THANK YOU
VERY MUCH.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
CAN WE GET A SHOT OF THIS GOING
ON?
LOOK AT THIS, THOSE ACTUAL
PEOPLE.
THERE IS PEOPLE THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, JESUS!
I HAVE PEOPLE.
PEOPLE COME ALIVE AUDIENCE --
ARE WE MAKING HISTORY COME ALIVE
WITH THE FIRST ONES TO BE DOING
THIS?
WE ARE DOING IT VERY SAFELY
HERE, EVERYONE HAS BEEN TESTED,
SOCIALLY DISTANCED, AND
COMPENSATED FOR THEIR TIME.
LIKE THE WOMEN AT THE BAR AT
NOBU.
[LAUGHTER]
THIS IS INTERESTING, YOU CAN
HEAR PEOPLE LAUGH INDIVIDUALLY.
OH, I SEE THAT GUY LIKED THAT
JOKE, THAT LADY DIDN'T -- IT'S
AN INTERESTING EXPERIMENT.
I AM SO THANKFUL YOU'RE HERE, I
WOULD TELL YOU YOU ARE VERY
BRAVE BUT THERE'S NO FUCKING
CHANCE YOU CAN GET IT, LOOK AT
THIS, YOU'RE A MILLION MILES --
YOU'VE BEEN TESTED, YOU ARE
MASKED, SPREAD WAY APART, WHAT
WE IN THE BUSINESS CALL "IDEAL
FOR COMEDY."
[APPLAUSE]
BUT AT LEAST THERE'S PEOPLE.
AND BOY, I PICKED A GOOD WEEK TO
GET BACK TO THE STUDIO WITH
PEOPLE, BECAUSE THE FORECAST ON
MY PHONE TODAY, I'M NOT JOKING,
IT SAID "SMOKE."
TOMORROW'S FORECAST, BLADE
RUNNER.
ARE YOU FROM LOS ANGELES?
YOUR ALL LOCAL RIGHT?
OF COURSE.
JESUS CHRIST, THE AIR IN
LOS ANGELES, IT WAS A CROSS
BETWEEN SHANGHAI AND MY DRESSING
ROOM.
I'M SAYING THERE WAS A LOT OF --
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
IF I'M SNIFFLING, IT'S BECAUSE
THERE IS A SHIT OUT THERE, I
WENT FOR A CHECKUP AND MY DOCTOR
GRABBED MY BALLS AND SAID "TURN
YOUR HEAD AND TO STOP."
IT'S LIKE FUCKING MARS OUT
THERE.
TODAY, ELON MUSK LOOKED OUT THE
WINDOW AND SAID "FINALLY I'M
HOME.
"THERE'S SO MUCH SMOKE IN
OREGON, YOU CAN BARELY SEE THE
TEAR GAS FROM THE RIOTS, IT'S
CRAZY OUT THERE.
THE ASH IS FALLING, HAVE YOU
SEEN THIS?
IT'S LIKE IT'S SNOWING ASH, LIKE
THE 80s ALL OVER AGAIN, MY
NOSE IS RUNNING AND THERE IS
WHITE POWDER IN THE CAR."
AND THIS PISSED ME OFF, I'M SURE
IT DID YOU TOO, ONE OF THE FIRES
BECAUSE PARENTS WERE HAVING A
GENDER REVEAL PARTY IN THE PARK
AND THE PARENTS SET OFF A SMOKE
BOMB AND IT WOULD TURN PINK IF
IT WAS A GIRL AND A BLUE IF IT
WAS A BOY, PROVING ONCE AGAIN
SOMETHING I'VE ALWAYS SAID, THE
WRONG PEOPLE ARE REPRODUCING.
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
WE MIGHT NOT EVEN HAVE
ELECTRICITY, WE HAVE ROLLING
BLACKOUTS IN L.A. AND CALI
CALIFORNIA.
YESTERDAY, NANCY PELOSI HAD TO
GET HER HAIR DONE BY CANDL
CANDLELIGHT.
[LAUGHTER]
PRESIDENT TRUMP HAS BEEN
MONITORING THE FIRES CLOSELY, HE
SAID HIS HEART GOES OUT TO THE
INSURANCE COMPANIES.
[LAUGHTER]
OH, HE'S FULL OF EMPATHY, THIS
GUY.
IT'S 9/11 ANNIVERSARY TODAY AND
TRUMP SAID HE WILL NEVER FORGET
THE MOMENT WHEN HE LEARNED THAT
HE HAD THE TALLEST BUILDING IN
MANHATTAN.
TRUMP SAID THAT, BECAUSE HE'S AN
ASSHOLE.
[APPLAUSE]
AND THERE YOU GO, SOMETIMES YOU
HAVE TO THINK TWICE ON THE
THINGS, MODERN AUDIENCES DON'T
GET -- BUT I'LL TELL YOU, 2001,
WERE YOU EVEN ALIVE SOME OF YOU
PEOPLE?
OR WERE YOU KIDS?
IT'S SUCH A DIFFERENT TIME.
BACK THEN, TRUMP WAS A
PUNCH LINE WITH NO INTEREST IN
GOVERNING.
OH, YEAH.
[APPLAUSE]
19 YEARS, EVERYTHING IS
DIFFERENT.
BACK THEN IF YOU ATE ON THE
SIDEWALK YOU WERE EITHER
HOMELESS OR FRENCH.
[LAUGHTER]
AND IF YOU STAYED 6 FEET AWAY
FROM SOMEONE, IT'S BECAUSE THEY
SMELLED LIKE AX BODY SPRAY.
[LAUGHTER]
NOW IT'S BECAUSE OF THE VIRUS.
[APPLAUSE]
THE VIRUS IS NOT GOING AWAY,
DR. FAUCI SAID WE ARE GOING TO
HAVE TO HUNKER DOWN BECAUSE THE
FALL IS COMING AND IT COULD GET
EVEN WORSE.
L.A. COUNTY TOOK THEM TO HEART,
TODAY THEY ANNOUNCED CANCELED
HALLOWEEN.
NO TRICK-OR-TREATING, NO
PARTIES, SHIT, I HAD A GREAT
COSTUME THIS YEAR, SLUTTY
DR. DEBORAH BIRX.
IT'S SO INTERESTING, DR. FAUCI
IS IN BOB WOODWARD'S NEW BOOK,
HE'S GOT A NEW BOOK ABOUT TRUMP
AND HE SAID TRUMP'S ATTENTION
SPAN IS "LIKE A MINUS NUMBER."
AND WHEN TRUMP HEARD THAT, HE
WAS FURIOUS FOR ABOUT A SECOND.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THEN SOMEBODY RATTLED A BAG OF
CHEETOS AND HE FORGOT ALL ABOUT
IT.
TRUMP YESTERDAY HAD ONE OF HIS
SUPER-SPREADER RALLIES.
HE'S THE PRESIDENT, HE HAS
SUPER-SPREADER RALLIES IN
MICHIGAN AND HE COMPARED HIS
HANDLING OF THE VIRUS TO FDR.
THE ONLY THING HE HAS IN COMMON
WITH FDR AS THEY BOTH HAVE
DIFFICULTY WALKING.
WE GOT A GREAT SHOW!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING IN
DOING THIS.
WE ARE BACK.
PETER HAMBY AND JESSICA YELLIN
OUR HERE IN PERSON, WE'VE GOT
REAL PEOPLE, ACTUAL PEOPLE.
AND A LITTLE LATER, WILL NEXT BE
SPEAKING WITH A VERY TALENTED
EWAN McGREGOR.
BUT FIRST, HE'S THE FORMER FBI
DEPUTY ASSISTANT DIRECTOR OF
COUNTERINTELLIGENCE -- MY OLD
JOB.
AND AUTHOR OF THE NEW BOOK
"COMPROMISED:
COUNTERINTELLIGENCE AND THE
THREAT OF DONALD J. TRUMP":
PETER STRZOK.
ARE YOU THERE ON MY ZOOM?
>> I AM, IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE.
>> Bill: LET'S HOPE THE ZOOM
HOLDS UP, SOMETIMES IT DOESN'T.
YOU ARE A G-MAN YOUR WHOLE LIFE
AND THEY ARE KNOWN TO BE
APOLITICAL.
DOES IT AMUSE YOU, DOES IT
INFURIATE YOU, WHAT DOES IT DO
TO YOU THAT IT USED TO BE ONLY A
FEW YEARS AGO THAT IT WAS THE
LIBERALS WHO WERE SUSPICIOUS OF
LAW ENFORCEMENT AND NOW THAT'S
COMPLETELY SWITCHED.
YOU'RE THE GOOD GUY WITH THE
LIBERALS AND IT'S THE
REPUBLICANS WHO THINK YOU'RE THE
BAD GUY, WHAT DOES THAT DO TO
YOU?
>> IT'S CRAZY AND IT'S HARD TO
IMAGINE HOW FAST THAT HAPPENED
AND IT MAKES YOU WONDER HOW LONG
IT'S GOING TO LAST.
THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN COZYING
UP TO THE RUSSIANS ARE NOT THE
PINKO COMMUNIST LIBERALS
ANYMORE, YOU'VE GOT IT TURNED
UPSIDE DOWN.
IN THIS TOPSY-TURVY WORLD, HOW
LONG IS IT GOING TO TAKE BACK
AND REVERT AND WHETHER OR NOT
THAT HAPPENS AT ALL, SOME
BIZARRE NEW WORLD OF DOMESTIC
POLITICAL ALLIANCES AND BELIEFS.
>> Bill: RIGHT.
OBVIOUSLY TRUMP PUT YOU IN A
COMPLETELY IMPOSSIBLE POSITION,
AND WHEN I SAY YOU, YOU GUYS AND
THE FBI, YOU ARE HIGH UP THERE
AT THE TIME.
HE WAS OUTRAGEOUS IN HIS
BEHAVIOR, HE WAS SAYING THINGS
PUBLICLY LIKE "RUSSIA, IF YOU'RE
LISTENING --"
IT WAS RIDICULOUS, YOU HAD TO
LOOK INTO HIM, THAT'S MY VIEW.
THIS CROSSFIRE HURRICANE WHICH
WAS LOOKING INTO WHETHER TRUMP
WWAS A MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE, YOU
HAD TO DO IT.
ONCE IT WAS DONE, WE HAVE TO BE
OPEN MINDED HERE, IT SEEMS TO ME
YOUR VIEW WAS THAT THERE WAS NOT
SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED THERE,
WE SET IT IN A PRIVATE TEXT SO
WE KNOW IT WAS REAL.
YOU SAID "MY GUT SENSE AND
CONCERN IS THAT THERE IS NO BIG
THERE THERE."
YOU SAID -- "THE NEW YORK TIMES"
HAD A BIG STORY IN 2017 RIGHT
AFTER TRUMP WAS INAUGURATED
"TRUMP CAMPAIGN AIDES HAD
REPORTED CONTACTS WITH RUSSIAN
INTELLIGENCE" AND YOU SAID WE
HAD NOT SEEN EVIDENCE OF ANY OF
THAT.
YOU SAID WE ARE UNAWARE OF ANY
ADVISORS ENGAGING IN
CONVERSATIONS WITH RUSSIAN
INTELLIGENCE OFFICIALS.
THAT CONFUSES ME.
THE DON JR. MEETING?
PAUL MANAFORT WE FOUND OUT WAS
GIVING POLLING DATA TO THIS
RUSSIAN AGENT, WHY DID YOU SAY
THERE WAS NO THERE THERE?
>> YOU HAVE TO READ THAT LAST
DOCUMENT LIKE A LEGAL DOCUMENT.
WE WERE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
WHEN "THE NEW YORK TIMES"
ARTICLE CAME OUT WHO WAS TALKING
TO THE TIMES BECAUSE THEY GOT A
LOT OF THINGS WRONG BUT SOME OF
THE THINGS WERE ACCURATE.
WE WERE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHO
WERE THOSE SOURCES AND WHEN YOU
SEE NO INTELLIGENCE OFFICERS,
YOU'VE GOT TO THINK THAT LACK A
COUNTERINTELLIGENCE PERSON, I
SPENT 20 YEARS CHASING SPIES AND
RECRUITING PEOPLE.
AND WHEN I SAY THAT I SAY THAT
LIKE A FULL-FLEDGED FOREIGN
INTELLIGENCE OFFICER, NOT
SOMEBODY WHO MIGHT BE WORKING --
AND THAT'S THE KIND OF PERSON WE
SAW IN THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN.
WE HAD CONTACT WITH FOREIGN
POLICY ADVISORS AND THE INCOMING
ATTORNEY GENERAL, WE HAD THEM IN
CONTACT WITH THE INCOMING
NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR.
PERSON AFTER PERSON AFTER PERSON
IN THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN HAD THESE
UNDISCLOSED CONTACTS WITH THE
RUSSIANS THAT THEY STARTED AND
CONTINUED ON TELLING THE TRUTH
ABOUT.
WHEN I SIT THERE AND LOOK AT IT,
THE WORST THING THAT IT COULD BE
WOULD BE SOME BIG CONSPIRACY RUN
FROM THE TOP OF THE PRESIDENT
BUT T IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THAT
TO BE BAD.
IT'S LIKE IF EVERY CAR HAD
WINDOW KNOCKED OUT, YOU COULD
SAY NOT ONE PERSON DID THIS, BUT
IF EVERY WINDOWS KNOCKED OUT
IT'S STILL BAD SO WHEN I MADE
THAT COMMENT, I MEANT I DON'T
THINK TRUMP IS SITTING LIKE A
MASTERMIND BETWEEN ALL THESE
CONTACTS CONTROLLING WHAT'S
GOING ON, BUT WHAT I THOUGHT WAS
THERE ARE A BUNCH OF GRIFTERS,
OPPORTUNISTS, PEOPLE TRYING TO
MAKE MONEY ALL INDIVIDUALLY
PURSUING THEIR AGENDAS IN A WAY
THAT MADE THEM VULNERABLE TO
RUSSIAN INTELLIGENCE.
>> Bill: I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT,
HE'S DEFINITELY NOT A MAST
MASTERMIND.
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
NO, REALLY.
FINALLY IT SOUNDS LIKE A FULL
CROWD.
I CONSTANTLY THINK PEOPLE GIVE
HIM TOO MUCH CREDIT FOR THAT.
IT WASN'T LIKE THAT, I THINK
IT'S JUST THE WAY YOU DESCRIBED
IT.
IN FACT DAN COATS WHO WAS
DIRECTOR OF NATIONAL
INTELLIGENCE A WHILE SAID HE
THINKS HOOTON HAS SOMETHING ON
TRUMP.
THAT MAY BE TRUE BUT I THINK
WHAT HE HAS ON TRUMP IS THE
KNOWLEDGE THAT TRUMP IS A GIANT
NARCISSIST OR AT LEAST THAT'S
WHAT I HAVE ON TRUMP.
I DON'T THINK YOU NEED TO HAVE
SOMETHING ON TRUMP.
I LEARNED THIS A COUPLE OF WEEKS
AGO WHEN QANON -- THE TOTAL NUT
CASES WHO THINK THAT THE WORLD
IS RUN BY THIS SECRET CABAL OF
PIZZA EATING PEDOPHILES WHO EAT
BABIES -- THEY ARE REALLY OUT
THERE, AND TRUMP WHEN HE WAS
ASKED ABOUT IT "I THINK THE GOOD
PEOPLE COME I TAKE THEIR
SUPPORT."
WHOEVER SAYS THEY LIKE HIM, HE
LIKES THEM.
IF IT'S WHITE SUPREMACISTS AND
THEY SAY THEY LIKE HIM, HE LIKES
THEM.
IF IT'S VLADIMIR PUTIN AND HE
SAYS "I THINK TRUMP IS BRIL
BRILLIANT," TRUMP IS LIKE I LOVE
THIS GUY.
I DON'T THINK IT'S MUCH MORE
COMPLICATED THAN THAT, IT'S
ABOUT THE NARCISSISM.
>> I THINK THAT'S ONE THING.
IF YOU'RE TRYING TO DEAL WITH
SOMEBODY THAT MIGHT BE ENOUGH
BUT PUT YOURSELF IN THE SHOES OF
THE SVR OR ANY RUSSIAN
INTELLIGENCE SERVICES.
JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING WORKS,
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO STOP WITH
THAT.
HOOTON HAS A TEAM OF
PSYCHOLOGISTS WHO HAVE LOOKED AT
TRUMP, THEY PROBABLY KNOW HIM
BETTER THAN MOST AMERICANS DO,
THEY HAVE PROBABLY PUSHED HIS
BUTTONS BUT THAT'S NOT GOING TO
STOP THEM FROM FINDING OTHER
THINGS TO HOLD THE LEVERAGE OVER
A PERIOD OF SOME OF THAT IS
COMING FROM THE PUBLIC, WE HAD
FROM THE MUELLER REPORT, AN
EXAMPLE OF -- TRUMP IS ON THE
CAMPAIGN TRAIL IN 2016 AND HE
TELLS A CROWD IN NORTH CAROLINA
"I HAVE NO FINANCIAL DEALINGS IN
RUSSIA WHATSOEVER, NONE."
AT THE EXACT SAME INSTANT,
MICHAEL: AND OTHERS ARE TRYING
TO GET A DEAL AT THE TRUMP TOWER
IN MOSCOW.
TRUMP KNOWS HE LIED, PUTIN KNOWS
HE LIED, TO MAINTAIN THAT IF HE
TURNS AROUND AND SAYS I'M GOING
TO TELL THEM THE TRUTH EVERY ONE
OF THE CAMPAIGN ARE GOING TO
KNOW HE LIED, THAT GIVES HIM
LEVERAGE.
IF YOUR UNINTELLIGENT SERVICE,
YOU DON'T STOP BECAUSE YOU HAVE
ONE AVENUE N, YOU KEEP LOOKING
FOR ALL OF THESE DIFFERENT WAYS
TO IMPACT SOMEBODY'S BEHAVIOR.
>> Bill: I THINK I HEARD YOU
SAY THERE ARE THINGS I KNOW FROM
2016 THAT WOULD DAMAGE HIS
CANDIDACY TODAY.
WHAT ARE THEY?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> NEXT WEEK I WANT YOU TO GET
THE ATTORNEY GENERAL AND
DIRECTOR OF NATIONAL
INTELLIGENCE ON YOUR SHOW AND
ASKED THEM THAT AND WHEN THEY
SAY THEY'RE NOT GOING TO SAY
COME ASKED THEM WHY THEY KEEP
CLASSIFIED SO MUCH INFORMATION
WHICH SHOCKINGLY ALL SEEMS TO
SUPPORT THE LINE THAT THEY ARE
PUTTING FORTH.
I CAN'T TELL YOU BECAUSE IT'S
CLASSIFIED OR IT RELATES TO
ONGOING INVESTIGATIONS OR MAYBE
SOME STUFF PANNED OUT AND DIDN'T
MEAN ANYTHING.
BUT THAT QUESTION IS SOMETHING
THAT OUGHT TO BE ASKED OF THE
ADMINISTRATION PARTICULARLY THE
WAY THEY ARE RELEASING THINGS
WILLY-NILLY THAT ARE DAMAGING
OUR NATIONAL SECURITY WHEN THEY
DO IT.
I KNOW YOU WOULD LOVE TO HAVE
BILL BARR ON YOUR SHOW.
>> Bill: YEAH, THAT'S GOING TO
HAPPEN.
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THIS SHOW?
SO YOU'RE OUT OF THE FBI NOW?
>> YES.
>> Bill: CAN YOU STILL TALK TO
THE OLD GANG?
>> IDEAL.
>> Bill: AND THIS IS WHAT THEY
ARE TELLING YOU NOW.
BUT YOU CAN'T TELL ME.
>> NO, LOOK -- IN TERMS OF THOSE
THINGS, THE STUFF THAT WENT OUT
AFTER I LEFT THEY DON'T TALK
ABOUT, I DON'T NEED TO KNOW THAT
IN THE BUREAU IS REALLY GOOD
ABOUT KEEPING SECRETS, THINGS
THAT SHOULDN'T BE TALKED ABOUT
DON'T GET TALKED ABOUT OUTSIDE,
THAT GOES INTO THE WHOLE AREA OF
I'M GOING TO MAINTAIN THE THINGS
I'M OBLIGATED NOT TO DISCLOSE
BECAUSE OF MY CLEARANCE AND THEY
DO THE SAME THING WITH ME.
I'M NOT SURE WHAT HAPPENED AFTER
I LEFT.
>> Bill: I WANT TO ASK YOU ONE
MORE QUESTION ABOUT HILLARY.
SOMEONE SAID TO YOU IT -- IT'S
ALWAYS INTERESTING TO ME THAT
THE FBI GOES BACK AND FORTH NOW
BETWEEN ARE THEY THE CHAMPION OF
THE LIBERALS, OR THAT THE
CHAMPION OF THE CONSERVATIVES,
REALLY, IT WAS THE FBI AND CALLM
COMEY WHO TIPPED THE ELECTION TO
DONALD TRUMP.
DURING THE CAMPAIGN I WAS
WORRIED THAT TRUMP WAS GOING TO
WIN IN THE FBI WHICH THEY WERE
CALLING TRUMP LAND AND I THINK
OF LAW ENFORCEMENT AS
REPUBLICANS TO BEGIN WITH, AS
SOON AS THIS GUY WINS, I'M GOING
TO WANT ON HIM OBEY.
GUANTANAMO BAY.
>> B>> YOU STILL HAVE TIME.
>> Bill: THANKS PETE.
>> BWHO WAS IT WHO SAID TO HILL,
PETE, YOU'VE GOT TO GET THAT
BIT?
>> THE BUREAU IS A CONSERVATIVE
PLACE, I WAS BORN AND RAISED A
REPUBLICAN, MOST AGENTS ARE LAW
AND ORDER, STRONG NATIONAL
SECURITY PEOPLE BUT AFTER HAVING
SAID THAT, DAY IN AND DAY OUT
FOR 20 YEARS I NEVER SAW AN
INSTANCE WHERE SOMEBODY SAID WE
HAVE TO DO THIS INVESTIGATIVE
THING, EITHER IGNORE THIS FACT
C. I'M KNOWN AS A LIBERAL BUT I'VE
ALWAYS BEEN A FAN OF THE PEOPLE
WHO DEFEND OUR COUNTRY.
I LIKE SQUARES.
I MEAN THAT IN THE BEST WAY.
IT'S THE ANNIVERSARY OF 9/11,
I'M SURE YOU WERE INVOLVED WITH
THAT AND I THANK YOU FOR YOUR
SERVICE AND I THANK YOU FOR
EVERYTHING.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S MEET OUR PANEL
IN PERSON.
THERE'S PEOPLE HERE, ACTUAL
PEOPLE.
YOU CAN FIND HER ON INSTAGRAM
@JESSICAYELLIN WHERE SHE'S THE
FOUNDER OF "NEWS NOT NOISE"
FROM FAR AWAY, JESSICA YELLEN.
BUT CLOSER THAN I'VE HAD AT A
LONG TIME.
>> GREAT TO S SEE YOU FROM A
DISTANCE.
>> Bill: YES.
HE'S THE HOST OF SNAPCHAT'S
POLITICAL SHOW "GOOD LUCK
AMERICA" AND CONTRIBUTING WRITER
FOR VANITY FAIR: PETER HAMBY.
I WANT TO FOLLOW UP ON SOMETHING
WE WERE TALKING ABOUT -- I THINK
THEY ARE PLANED BY DIFFERENT
RULES. OTHER PRESIDENT WOULD'VER
HAVE SAID YEAH SURE AND TRUMP
SAID "YEAH, I LOOK AT IT."
THE RULES HAVE CHANGED, THE
UKRAINE IMPEACHMENT WENT
NOWHERE.
IT'S LIKE WHEN THEY PUT THE
DESIGNATED HITTER RULE IN
BASEBALL.
THEY CHANGE THE RULES.
NOBODY DID ANYTHING ABOUT
UKRAINE, NOBODY SAID ANYTHING
AFTER HE TOLD THAT TO
STEPHANOPOULOS.
FOREIGN HELP IS NOW OKAY IN
ELECTIONS.
IF DEMOCRATS DON'T GET THAT, THE
DECK IS ONLY STACKED UP AGAINST
THEM, THEY ARE GOING TO KEEP
LOSING ELECTIONS -- TRUE?
>> MAY BE, BUT MAYBE NOT THIS
ELECTION, I DO THINK THIS
ELECTION IS PROBABLY A LITTLE
MORE BAKED THAN PEOPLE ARE
WILLING TO ACKNOWLEDGE.
>> Bill: BAKED?
>> YEAH.
>> Bill: BAKED.
>> BAKED IN FAVOR OF BIDEN.
CLOSER TO DONE, I THINK THE
FUNDAMENTALS IN THE SELECTION
STRONGLY FAVOR JOE BIDEN AND A
LOT OF PEOPLE REGARDLESS OF
INTERFERENCE IN THE ELECTION --
I WILL SAY TO YOUR POINT, I WAS
TALKING TO A FRIEND TODAY ABOUT
THESE VERY THINGS THAT TRUMP
CONTINUES TO PUSH THE BOUNDARIES
AND HE SAID HE REMINDS ME OF A
LITTLE KID TESTING HIS PARENTS
TO SEE WHAT HE CAN GET AWAY WITH
AND HE CAN GET AWAY WITH PRETTY
MUCH ANYTHING.
WHAT IS SCARY ABOUT THAT IS
IMAGINE IF YOU HAVE SOMEONE WITH
A BRAIN LARGER THAN
DONALD TRUMP'S WHO COMES AT THE
OFFICE LATER.
THEY ARE GOING TO UNDERSTAND
THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH WHATEVER
THEY WANT.
>> Bill: YOU'RE RIGHT, HE'S
KIND OF AN INNOCENT AND HE
DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THAT YOU CAN'T
TAKE HELP FROM A FOREIGN COUNTRY
BUT THAT'S WHAT YOU DO IN
BUSINESS AND HE JUST EDITED
NOBODY STOPPED HIM.
>> I THINK IT WILL CHANGE WHEN
YOU HAVE A DIFFERENT KIND OF
PERSONALITY IN THE OFFICE.
THE MEDIA AND THE PUBLIC WILL
ADJUST TO THEIR BEHAVIOR, I
THINK TRUMP GETS AWAY WITH THIS
BECAUSE HE IS SO SHAMELESS ABOUT
IT.
>> Bill: ISN'T HERE THE
REPUBLICAN PARTY NOW?
ARE THEY GOING TO CHANGE?
>> THE LOYALTY IS TO HIM, NOT
THE PARTY.
>> Bill: ARE THEY GOING TO
REVERT?
>> LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS IN THE
SELECTION.
>> Bill: IT'S SEVEN WEEKS
UNTIL THE ELECTION, I WANT TO
TALK ABOUT WHAT NATE SILVER SAID
THIS WEEK, HE'S THE GUY WHO
CRACKS THE NUMBERS BETTER THAN
ANYBODY, WE KNOW THE REPUBLICANS
HAVE AN ADVANTAGE IN THE
ELECTORAL COLLEGE DESPITE WHAT
TRUMP SAYS.
THIS IS REALLY FRIGHTENING TO
ME.
NATE SILVER SAYS IF JOE BIDEN
WINS THE POPULAR VOTE BY LESS
THAN 1% -- WINS THE ELECTION,
THAT'S WINNING THE ELECTION.
YOU ONLY HAVE TO WIN BY ONE VOTE
BUT IF HE WINS BY LESS THAN 1%
OF THE POPULAR VOTE, HE ONLY HAS
A 6% CHANCE OF BECOMING
PRESIDENT.
IF HE WINS BY ONE TO MAKE 2%,
HE'S GOT A 22% CHANCE, IF HE
WINS BY 2 FOR 3%, 46%, HE COULD
WIN BY 3% AND HE STILL HAS LESS
THAN HALF THE CHANCE OF WINNING
THE ELECTION.
YOU GOT TO GET UP TO 52 MAX 6%
BEFORE HE HAS A 98% CHANCE OF
WINNING THE ELECTION.
THAT IS A FLU FUCKED UPCOUNTRY.
>> I WILL SAY THERE'S A LOT OF
PANIC AT DEMOCRATIC SUPPORTERS
THAT THIS IS A DANGER ZONE -- IF
YOU LOOK AT THE NUMBERS COME UP
BIDEN'S NUMBERS HAVE BEEN
UNBELIEVABLY STEADY SINCE MARCH.
HE IS UP CONSISTENTLY SIX
POINTS.
A LOT OF THE PANIC IS THIS
WORST-CASE SCENARIO
CATASTROPHIZE AND GIVEN WHAT
HAPPENED IN 2016 BUT THE NUMBERS
DON'T REALLY BEAR IT OUT RIGHT
NOW.
>> IF YOU SUBTRACTED TRUMP AND
BIDEN'S NAME FROM THE TOP LINE
AND THE HORSE RACE POLLS AND
UNDER THE HOOD, WE WOULD ALL BE
SEEING THERE IS NO WAY
DONALD TRUMP CAN WIN.
HE'S LOSING INDEPENDENCE BY 20
POINTS, HE'S LOSING WOMEN WHICH
MAKE UP HALF THE COUNTRY BY OVER
20 POINTS.
THE CHANCES OF THESE FUNDAMENTAL
SHIFTING IN THE NEXT TWO MONTHS
WOULD TAKE OVERWHELMINGLY
DRAMATIC IN THE WHOLE "WHAT
ABOUT 2016" THING, IT'S JUST NOT
2016.
PEOPLE HAVE HAD FOUR YEARS OF
DONALD TRUMP AND THE VERDICT HAS
BEEN RENDERED AND JOE BIDEN IS
JUST NOT HILLARY CLINTON, HE'S
NOT.
>> Bill: I KNOW, BUT WHAT NATE
SILVER IS SAYING, IT DOESN'T
MATTER.
5 TO 6% IS A LOT IN THIS
COUNTRY, THAT'S A BIG VICTORY.
IF HE DOESN'T GET THAT, YOU
SOUND LIKE THE PANELS I USED TO
HAVE ON RIGHT BEFORE THE LAST
ELECTION.
I WAS LIKE YOU GUYS ARE
WHISTLING PAST THE GRAVEYARD.
>> IT'S VERY HARD TO SEE THE
CASE TRUMP IS GOING TO MAKE
BETWEEN NOW AND THEN THAT'S
GOING TO SWING ALL OF THE
UNDECIDEDS INTO HIS CORNER.
THIS ARGUMENT HE HAS AROUND LAW
AND ORDER, DEMOCRATS ARE MOST
AFRAID THAT IS HIS WINNING HAND.
THAT ACTUALLY IS NOT A NET PLUS
FOR HIM.
>> Bill: SO FAR, RIGHT NOW.
>> YOU THINK IT'S GOING TO
SHIFT?
>> Bill: IT COULD DO.
>> ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN, THESE
ARE CRAZY TIMES.
>> Bill: YES, BUT PEOPLE
GENERALLY DON'T LIKE VIOLENCE IN
THE STREETS.
WHEN HE SAYS "I'M THE ONE THAT'S
GOING TO PROTECT YOU, THEY
AREN'T GETTING THAT, THEY'RE NOT
BUYING THAT.
WHAT THEY ARE SAYING IS
JOE BIDEN IS A HEALER AND WE
NEED HEALING RIGHT NOW."
[APPLAUSE]
THIS COULD CHANGE BUT THERE'S
ALSO A LOT OF CRAZINESS OUT
THERE.
THERE'S A BOOK OUT THERE CALLED
"IN DEFENSE OF LOOTING."
WHICH IS BEING TAKEN SERIOUSLY.
THERE IS A FRINGE AND YOU HAVE
TO UNDERSTAND WE LIVE IN THESE
BINARY TIMES.
ANYTHING ANYBODY ON THE RIGHT
DOES, TRUMP HAS TO OWN AND
ANYTHING ANYBODY DOES ON THE
LEFT, THIS IS THE COUNTRY OF
"YOU'RE THE PARTY OF."
"YOU'RE THE CANDIDATE OF."
WHATEVER CRAZY THING THE LEFT
DOES AND I THINK LOOTING IS
CRAZY AND DEFENDING AT THIS
JUSTIFIABLE PROTEST IS CRAZY BUT
BIDEN HAS TO WEAR THAT ON HIS
BACK INTO THE
>> I THINK HE'S DONE A GOOD JOB
OF NOT PUTTING IT ON HIS BACK.
WHEN THE PROTESTS AFTER GEORGE
FLOYD WERE STARTED, IT WAS
POPULAR ON TWITTER AND IN
CERTAIN CORNERS OF THE LEFT TO
DEFEND LOOTING, THE SUPPORT TO
DEFUND THE POLICE, BOTH OF WHICH
ARE ACTUALLY STRONGLY MINORITY
OPINIONS BUT THERE'S A LOT OF
PRESSURE FROM THE LEFT ON THE
DEMOCRATIC NOMINEE, BIDEN
IMMEDIATELY CAME OUT -- GIVE THE
GUY CREDIT, HE TRUSTS HIS
JUDGMENT AND HAS A NORTHSTAR, HE
SAID "I DON'T WANT TO DEFUND THE
POLICE."
HE'S DONE A GOOD JOB OF
SHRUGGING THAT STUFF OFF.
>> THE CHAOS DOESN'T -- IT HURTS
DONALD TRUMP.
IF YOU LOOK AT HIS LAW AND ORDER
MESSAGE AND HIS CLAIMS ON THIS,
IT CONSOLIDATES SUPPORT FOR HIM
AMONG NONCOLLEGE REPUBLICANS,
HIS BASE.
BECAUSE IT'S A MESSAGE ABOUT
WHITE GRIEVANCE.
BUT IF YOU HEAR WHAT IT'S DOING
WITH NONCOLLEGE REPUBLICANS,
IT'S DRIVING AWAY SWING VOTERS.
SWING VOTERS WHO ARE NOT COLLEGE
EDUCATED REPUBLICANS THINK
DONALD TRUMP IS FOSTERING THE
CHAOS.
[APPLAUSE]
>> I THINK THE MEDIA FOR A WEEK
OR TWO AROUND KENOSHA RAN WITH
THE IDEA THAT THIS WAS GOING TO
HELP TRUMP WHEN THERE WAS NO
POLLING DATA TO BEAR THAT OUT AT
ALL.
EVEN THE ABC POLL LAST WEEK, 13%
OF NONCOLLEGE WHITES, THAT IS
THE PUREST DISTILLATION OF
TRUMP'S BASE INKS HE'S HELPING
THE PROTEST.
>> Bill: WHAT ABOUT THE
PROPERTY DESTRUCTION ISSUE?
THERE'S A LOT OF TALK NOW -- I
SOUGHT IN THE THE NEWS TODAY,
LULULEMON HAD A WORKSHOP WHERE
THEY SAID "RESIST CAPITALISM."
WHILE THEY SELL $150 LEGGINGS.
[APPLAUSE]
WHEN LULULEMON IS A SAYING
"RESIST CAPITALISM" AND THERE'S
A BOOK CALLED IN DEFENSE OF
LOOTING AND WE HAD A PRIMARY
WHERE THERE WAS A CANDIDATE
BERNIE SANDERS AND
ELIZABETH WARREN WERE TALKING A
LOT ABOUT A WEALTH TAX AND A LOT
OF WEALTH CONFISCATION AND
THERE'S A FEELING OUT THERE NOW,
AGAIN, IT'S ON THE FAR LEFT BUT
THINGS TEND TO MIGRATE THAT
PROPERTY -- IT'S DIFFERENT THAN
LIFE, AND IT IS DIFFERENT THAN
LIFE.
AND THEY COMPARE THEM LIKE THEY
ARE COMPARABLE.
WELL IF YOU TAKE SOMEBODY'S LIFE
THAT'S PERMANENCE, BUT IF YOU
WRECK THEIR BUSINESS, THAT CAN
BE REPLACED.
THIS IS A JUSTIFIABLE WAY OF
PROTESTING AND IT'S A FORM OF
REPARATIONS.
I'M NOT DOWN WITH THIS PROPERTY
IS ON THE TABLE IS SOMETHING WE
CAN JUST TAKE BECAUSE THINGS ARE
NOT RIGHT.
TO ME, THAT'S NOT THE WAY TO
ADDRESS OUR PROBLEMS BY THROWING
A BRICK THR THROUGH THE WINDOW.
>> WHERE IS THIS MASS
DESTRUCTION OF PROPERTY
HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?
>> Bill: DO YOU WATCH THE
NEWS?
>> IF YOU LOOK AT PORTLAND, TWO
SQUARE BLOCKS.
>> Bill: ALSO KENOSHA.
>> BRIEFLY.
>> Bill: WE'VE HAD IT HERE IN
L.A., THERE ARE STORES I'VE BEEN
TO I SAW ON THE NEWS WIPED OUT.
>> AND THOSE WERE MOMENT OF
PROTESTS WHICH WE HAVE
THROUGHOUT OUR HISTORY AND WE
DON'T KNOW EVERYBODY WHO WAS
INVOLVED IN THE PROTEST, PEOPLE
WHO WERE ACTIVATING FOR RACIAL
JUSTICE AND CHANGE ARE NOT
NECESSARILY THE PEOPLE WHO ARE
BREAKING WINDOWS AND CAUSING
VIOLENCE.
[APPLAUSE]
>> Bill: MOST OF THEM ARE NOT
BUT THERE IS A VIEW AND IT'S IN
THE MEDIA, I KNOW YOU'VE SEEN
IT, DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE I'M
MAKING THIS UP.
BUT SOMEHOW THIS IS A
JUSTIFIABLE APPROACH.
>> AND PART OF PROTEST?
>> Bill: SO YOU'RE PART OF
THIS?
BECAUSE I THINK IF YOU'RE A
REGULAR GUY, I SAW THIS GUY AT A
PAPA JOHN'S FRANCHISE AND HE WAS
YELLING THROUGH HIS BROKEN GLASS
"YOU'RE GOING TO ELECT TRUMP AND
I'M JUST TRYING TO FEED MY
FAMILY."
I DON'T THINK HIS VIEW WAS C'EST
LA VIE, IT'S JUST PROPERTY.
>> I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT THAT
THERE HAS BEEN ADRIFT, THIS GOES
BACK TO 2014, THERE WAS PROTESTS
AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MISSOURI --
THAT SORT OF CAMPUS THINKING HAS
DRIFTED INTO THE NATIONAL PRESS,
DRIFTED INTO DEMOCRATIC POLITICS
WHERE YOU HAVE THESE VERY
ACADEMIC DEBATES ABOUT -- TRUMP
RIDICULES THEM AS CRITICAL RACE
THEORY, THAT STUFF PERCOLATES ON
THE INTERNET AND THE CERTAIN
CANDIDATES RAN WITH IT BUT NOT
TO FLUFF JOE BIDEN AGAIN BUT THE
GUY HAS HIS NORTHSTAR AS THAT
REGULAR GUY IN SCRANTON OR
ROCHESTER OR WHEREVER.
HE THAT AMERICA'S
POLITICAL VALUES ARE NOT DERIVED
FROM THE INTERNET.
HE JUST DOESN'T LIVE IN THAT
WORLD.
>> Bill: WHY ARE SO MANY
COLUMNISTS SAYING THAT HE NEEDS
TO HAVE A SISTER SOLDIER MOMENT.
I DON'T THINK SHE DESERVED
GETTING REPUTATION --
>> I THINK IT'S FOR THE SAME
REASONS THAT JOURNALISTS RAN
WITH THE IDEA THAT KENOSHA WOULD
HELP TRUMP.
WE IN THE PRESS ALWAYS THINK
THERE NEEDS TO BE SOMETHING NEW,
SOME EVENTS THAT CHANGES THINGS,
WHAT IS NEXT THIS WEEK, WHAT IS
HAPPENING THE WEEK AFTER THAT
AND TO WHAT I HAVE BEEN SAYING,
I THINK THE RACE HAS BEEN STEADY
THIS WHOLE TIME.
THAT IS KIND OF A BORING STORY.
>> THE PROTESTS SHOULD BE MADE
MORE COMPLEX BECAUSE THERE IS A
PIECE OF THE PROTESTS OF PEOPLE
WHO ARE ACTUALLY ASKING FOR
POLICY CHANGES IN THAT PIECE OF
THE DISCUSSION GETS IGNORED.
WE DON'T TALK ENOUGH ABOUT THAT.
WE END UP HAVING A CONVERSATION
ABOUT LOOTING AND ABOUT WINDOWS
BEING BROKEN JUST LIKE THE MEDIA
PUTS THE CAMERA ON THAT.
BUT THERE IS ANOTHER PIECE OF
THIS CONVERSATION TO BE HAD.
>> Bill: THAT CONVERSATION IS
BEING HAD.
>> NOT BROADLY, DO PEOPLE
UNDERSTAND DEFUND THE POLICE
MEANS BROADLY?
PEOPLE ARE SO CONFUSED ABOUT
WHAT THAT MEANS.
>> Bill: THE PEOPLE YOU'RE
TALKING ABOUT ARE VERY OFTEN
DATA FREE.
I SAW PEOPLE SCREAMING AT
RAND PAUL -- NOT MY FAVORITE
POLITICIAN -- SAYING "SAY HER
NAME."
AND HE HAD WRITTEN A BILL WITH
BREANNA TAYLOR'S NAME IN IT,
HE'S THE ONE GUY YOU SHOULDN'T
BE SCREAMING THAT FOR, HE IS
MR. LIBERTARIAN.
HE IS ALWAYS FOR THINGS LIKE
"LET'S NOT HAVE THESE NO KNOCK
POLICE" AND HE WROTE THE JUSTICE
FOR BREANNA TAYLOR BILL AND THEY
ARE SCREAMING AT HIM.
IF LEARN SOMETHING BEFORE YOU DO
THAT.
THAT'S A BIG HAND FOR LEARNING
SOMETHING.
[APPLAUSE]
HOW ABOUT FOR LEARNING
SOMETHING?
>> ANOTHER VIDEO THAT WENT VIRAL
LAST WEEK IN WASHINGTON, D.C., A
WOMAN WAS SITTING OUTSIDE A
RESTAURANT AND A HERD OF WHITE
PROTESTERS CAME OVER AND TOLD
HER TO RAISE HER FIST, TURNED
OUT SHE HAD MARCHED AND GIVEN
MONEY TO A VARIETY OF BLM
CAUSES.
A DEMOCRAT --
>> Bill: AND SHE JUST WANTED
TO FINISH HER DINNER.
BY THE WAY, EVEN IF SHE HADN'T
DONE THAT, YOU'RE ALLOWED TO EAT
DINNER.
I DON'T HAVE TO DO A 24/7
BECAUSE YOU DO.
I CAN EAT DINNER AND STILL BE
DOWN WITH THE CAUSE.
>> SHE MADE THE POINT AND A
FOLLOW-UP OP-ED IN
"THE WASHINGTON POST" SAYING
"THIS IS NOT HOW PERSUASION
WORKS IN POLITICS, IT WAS SMART.
BUT A DEMOCRAT WHO WORKS IN TECH
CIRCLES TEXTED ME LAST WEEK
ABOUT A VIDEO IN PITTSBURGH
GOING VIRAL SHOWING SOMETHING
SIMILAR AND HE WAS PULLING HIS
HAIR OUT, BECAUSE THESE THINGS
GET SO MUCH ATTENTION ON THE
INTERNET AND HE SAYS, HE WAS
SUGGESTING THIS IS THE PERFECT
CHUM FOR RUSSIAN TROLLS AND
CHINESE TROLLS ON THE INTERNET,
THEY AREN'T MAKING FAKE NEWS
ANYMORE.
>> I DISAGREE, I THINK THIS IS
WWHAT TWITTER OBSESSES OVER.
>> BUT TWITTER IS THE MEDIA.
>> I TUCKED US SWING WOMEN
VOTERS ALL DAY LONG ON
INSTAGRAM, THAT'S WHAT I DO.
AND THEY DO NOT BRING THIS UP,
THIS DOES NOT REGISTER ON THEM.
>> Bill: WHAT ABOUT THE LITTLE
LEMON THING?
AUTHOR AND HISTORY PROFESSOR AT
GEORGE WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY,
SHE ADMITTED THIS WEEK IN A
BOMBSHELL ESSAY THAT SHE HAS NOT
BEEN BLACK AFTER ALL, SHE IS
WHITE AND JEWISH, REMEMBER
RACHEL DOLEZAL?
WE ARE HAVING IT AGAIN.
SO WE FOUND OUT THERE ARE THINGS
ABOUT JESSICA KRUG THAT WERE
REALLY TELLTALE SIGNS THAT SHE
WAS ACTUALLY WHITE AND WOULD YOU
LIKE TO HEAR SOME OF THEM?
I'M SURE YOU WOULD.
FOR EXAMPLE.
SHE LIVE-TWEETS "THE CROWN."
SHE CAN TELL THE PROPERTY
BROTHERS APART.
SHE'S BEEN TO UTAH ON PURPOSE.
[APPLAUSE]
HER FAVORITE RAPPER IS WILLIAM
SHATNER.
THAT HE PUT OUT A RAP RECORD, IS
THAT WHY?
[APPLAUSE]
SHE CELEBRATES HER BIRTHDAY FOR
SIX WEEKS.
I KNOW WHITE GIRLS WHO DO THAT.
SHE FOLLOWS JEWEL ON INSTAGRAM.
[APPLAUSE]
HER PURSE IS FULL OF TINY DOG.
SHE CAN TELL THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN COUNTRY SONGS.
[LAUGHTER]
SHE SINGS ALONG WITH THE MUSIC
IN THE SUPERMARKET.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
OKAY, LET ME ASK YOU THIS
QUESTION ABOUT JESSICA KRUG.
I'M A WHITE PERSON BUT I GET THE
SAY I'M BLACK, THAT RACHEL
DOLEZAL PIONEER -- FIRST OF ALL,
I THINK THERE'S GOING TO BE MORE
OF THIS.
>> WHY?
>> Bill: BECAUSE I THINK IT'S
HIP TO BE BLACK.
I KNOW IT'S THE WORST THING IN
THE WORLD TO MARK THAT WE HAVE
MADE A LOT OF PROGRESS WHICH IS
STUPID BECAUSE YOU CAN SAY YES
WE STILL HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO
DO WHICH WE DO, IT'S A VITAL
ISSUE, RACISM BUT WE HAVE MADE A
LOT OF PROGRESS BECAUSE 50 YEARS
AGO, WOULD ANY WHITE PERSON WANT
TO SAY "I'M A BLACK PERSON,"
THAT WOULDN'T HAPPEN IN 1920 OR
1930 OR 1960.
BUT MY QUESTION IS, YOU CAN SAY
YOU ARE A DIFFERENT GENDER, WHY
IS THAT OKAY BUT WHY CAN'T YOU
SAY I'D IDENTIFY AS A DIFFERENT
RACE?
>> I THINK SHE IS THE WORST
EMBODIMENT OF THE PERFORMATIVE
WHITE LIBERAL?
>> Bill: WHO?
>> JESSICA KRUG.
>> Bill: HER AGAIN, THE ONE I
JUST HEARD ABOUT TWO HOURS AGO.
>> SHE'S LIKE THE SACHA BARON
COHEN CHARACTER OF THE WHITE
CISGENDER MALE WHO APOLOGIZED
FOR BEING A WHITE CISGENDER MAIL
COME TO LIFE.
BUT I THINK YOU HAVE A POINT
THAT IT IS COOL TO PERFORM YOUR
VIRTUE ON THE INTERNET IN AN ERA
WHERE IDENTITY POLITICS IS A
CURRENCY FOR BETTER OR WORSE ON
THE INTERNET AND THIS HAPPENED
FIVE YEARS AFTER RACHEL DOLEZAL.
RACHEL DOLEZAL HAPPENED, SHE
SOUGHT, AND SHE WAS LIKE I'M
GOING TO DOUBLE DOWN.
MAN, I HOPE WE DON'T SEE MORE OF
THIS.
>> Bill: WHAT SHOULD THE
ATTITUDE OF RIGHT-THINKING
PEOPLE BE?
>> OY.
THIS IS RIDICULOUS, PEOPLE MAKE
CHOICES IN LIFE, THIS IS A BAD
CHOICE BUT THIS IS A MENTAL
HEALTH PROBLEM.
[APPLAUSE]
>> Bill: ISN'T IT PARTLY A
MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEM WITH A LOT
OF WHITE PEOPLE WHO HAVE THIS
RIDICULOUS LEVEL OF WHITE
LOATHING ABOUT THEMSELVES?
>> I DON'T HEAR STORIES LIKE
THIS.
>> Bill: YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE
VIDEO OF PEOPLE WASHING BLACK
PEOPLE SPEED?
>> NO.
>> Bill: I'LL SEND IT TO YOU.
>> I DO THINK THAT --
>> Bill: THERE'S A LOT OF WE
ARE H HOLIER THAN YOU, WASH PEOE
SPEED.
>> WHITE, COLLEGE-EDUCATED
LIBERALS VOTED FOR
ELIZABETH WARREN,
BERNIE SANDERS -- BLACK FOLKS
VOTED FOR JOE BIDEN.
BLACK FOLKS IN POLL AFTER POLL
OPPOSE DEFUNDING THE POLICE,
THEY SORT OF OPPOSE A LOT OF
THESE POLITICAL ISSUES THAT
SURFACE ON TWITTER AND A FAVOR
DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATES.
I DO THINK A LOT OF THESE
OPINIONS SEEM LIKE THEY ARE
MAINSTREAM BECAUSE THEY ARE ON
THE INTERNET, WHEN IN REALITY
THEY ARE NOT.
>> Bill: I DON'T THINK THEY
ARE MAINSTREAM, A LOT OF THIS
STUFF -- I THINK THERE IS A
BLACK SILENT MAJORITY.
>> THERE HAS BEEN THROUGHOUT
THIS YEAR.
THIS IS SO BORING, THE TWO KINDS
OF SWING VOTERS, THE MOST
IMPORTANT VOTERS THROUGH THIS
WHOLE ELECTION HAVE BEEN OVER 40
BLACK PEOPLE AND OVER 40
SUBURBAN WHITE PEOPLE WHO WEAR
KHAKI PANTS.
THOSE ARE NOT SEXY PEOPLE TO A
LOT OF PEOPLE IN THE PRESS, THEY
AREN'T YOUNG BERNIE TYPES, THEY
AREN'T ENTERTAINING, BUT THEY
ARE THE ONES TURNING OUT IN
ELECTION AFTER ELECTION.
>> Bill: MOST BLACK PEOPLE
WANT MORE POLICING OR AT LEAST
THE AMOUNT OF POLICING MAY
HAVE -- THE DEMOCRATS THOUGHT
"THE RADICALS WERE LIKE WE HAVE
A PRIMARY WITH ALL THESE RADICAL
CANDIDATES IN THE BLACK FOLKS
WERE LIKE LET'S GO WITH
JOE BIDEN."
OR THE GOVERNOR OF VIRGINIA,
REMEMBER THAT?
LET'S GET RID OF THE GOVERNOR OF
VIRGINIA AND THE BLACK FOLKS
WERE LIKE NO, WE MADE A MISTAKE,
WE GET IT, HE'S A GOOD GUY HE'S
GOOD TO HELP US AND HE DID, HE
WON REELECTION AND HE GOT ALL
THE PROGRESS OF THINGS THAT
EVERYONE WANTED PAST.
>> AND THEY ARE EXTRAORDINARILY
MOTIVATED TO GET RID OF
DONALD TRUMP AND THAT IS WHY
THIS RACE HAS BEEN SO STEADY FOR
MONTHS.
UNLIKE THE HILARY BACK AND
FORTH, EVERYONE WAS TALKING
ABOUT HOW WE HAVE TWO CANDIDATES
NO ONE LIKES, WE CAN'T STAND OUR
CHOICES -- WE DON'T HEAR THAT
CONVERSATION THAT TIME.
THE DEMOCRATS ARE FOCUSED.
IT'S BECAUSE THE MAJORITY OF THE
PARTY ESPECIALLY THE BLACK
COMMUNITY IS SINGLE-MINDED ABOUT
DOING WHAT THEY CAN TO GET RID
OF DONALD TRUMP.
ALL OF THIS CONVERSATION IS THE
EQUIVALENT OF FOCUSING ON
LOOTING.
IT'S THE SIDESHOW WITH THE
MOMENTUM IS FOCUSING ABOUT
NOVEMBER 3RD AND GETTING RID OF
TRUMP.
>> Bill: IT MAY BE A SIDESHOW
UNLESS IT'S YOUR BUSINESS THAT
GOT WIPED OUT.
IF IT'S YOUR BUSINESS, THEN IT'S
NOT A SIDESHOW.
>> FOCUS GROUPS HAVE BORNE THIS
OUT, BLACK VOTERS ARE SKEPTICAL
OF BIG PROMISES.
THEY ARE SKEPTICAL OF
IDEOLOGUES, THEY ARE SKEPTICAL
OF RADICAL CHANGE.
THEY HAVE BEEN FUCKED OVER FOR
SO LONG THAT THEY JUST WANT TO
TRUST SOMEBODY WHO CAN MAKE
GOVERNMENT WORK FOR THEM.
>> Bill: NOT BRICK THROWERS,
BARACK OBAMA, PEOPLE WHO ARE
GOVERNMENT NERDS WHO KNOW HOW TO
MAKE CHANGE, THEY ARE THE PEOPLE
WHO IMPROVE PEOPLE'S LIVES.
>> INCREMENTAL CHANGE, MAKE
GOVERNMENT TO MAKE SENSE TO ME
AND MY FAMILY EVERY DAY.
>> Bill: ALL THE PEOPLE WHO
WERE CHANTING AT THAT LADY EMMA
THEY WERE ALL WHITE.
ALL THE PEOPLE WHO WERE
SURROUNDING.
WE'RE GOING TO RUN OUT OF TIME,
9/11 ANNIVERSARY, WE HAVE A
MINUTE -- ANY THOUGHTS?
IT'S BEEN 19 YEARS, WHERE ARE WE
WITH THAT?
>> I SAW A PICTURE TODAY OF
JOE BIDEN GOING UP TO MIKE PENCE
AND DOING THE ELBOW BUMP THING
AND OFF TO THE SIDE YOU SAW
JERRY NADLER AND CHUCK SCHUMER
AND KRISTEN GILLIBRAND COME ALL
THESE NEW YORK LUMINARIES, A
PICTURE TELL THE STORY BUT THEY
WERE LOOKING THIS WAY, TO ME
THAT'S WHAT EMBODIED JOE BIDEN,
WHETHER IT'S REALISTIC OR NOT
BUT HE'S OKAY TRYING TO TALK TO
SOMEBODY.
>> Bill: YOU HAVE TO, EVEN IF
THE DEMOCRATS WOULD MAKE THE
ELECTION, HALF THE COUNTRY AND
ALL THE REPUBLICANS ARE NOT
GOING TO SELF DEPORT.
WE HAVE TO WORK TOGETHER.
ALL RIGHT.
BRING HIM OUT.
HE'S THE GOLDEN GLOBE-WINNING
ACTOR WHOSE LATEST MOTORCYCLE
DOCU-SERIES "LONG WAY UP"
PREMIERS SEPTEMBER 18TH ON APPLE
TV+: EWAN MCGREGOR.
IS WITH US.
[APPLAUSE]
HOW ARE YOU SIR?
>> GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?
>> Bill: OKAY, I MUST TELL YOU
I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU IN THE
MOVIES AND ENJOYING YOU FOR SO
MANY YEARS AND I REALIZED THIS
WEEK AS I WAS DOING ALL THE
RESEARCH, I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT
YOU.
WE NEVER MET AND YET I FEEL LIKE
I HARDLY KNOW YOU.
I LEARNED SO MUCH, I HAVE NO
IDEA YOU'RE SUCH AN ADVENTURER,
YOU'RE LIKELY YOU'RE EUROPEAN
SEAN PENN.
THE LIST OF COUNTRIES WHERE YOU
HAVE GONE AND DONE HEROIC WORK.
CONGO AND IRAQ AND HONDURAS FOR
HIV AND LANDMINES AND CHILD
POVERTY AND MALNUTRITION.
THESE ARE WHAT THE
PRESIDENT CALLS THE SHITHOLE
COUNTRIES.
DO YOU HAVE A HIGH THRESHOLD FOR
DANGER?
>> NOT REALLY, I'VE GOT A BIG
APPETITE FOR ADVENTURE I THINK
IS THE DIFFERENCE.
I LOVE GOING OUT INTO THE WORLD
AND FINDING MYSELF IN PLACES YOU
WOULDN'T NORMALLY TRAVEL AND
I'VE DONE THAT WITH MY MATE
CHARLIE ON OUR MOTORCYCLES SINCE
2004.
WE RODE FROM LONDON TO NEW YORK,
WE WENT EAST ACROSS EUROPE AND
TO UKRAINE AND RUSSIA AND
KAZAKHSTAN, MONGOLIA, FAR
EASTERN RUSSIA AND WE FLEW TO
ALASKA.
IN 2007, WE RODE DOWN TO THE
AFRICAN CONTINENT, WE LEFT FROM
THE TOP OF SCOTLAND AND WE RODE
DOWN TO CAPE TOWN.
AND WE DID THEM FOR A SENSE OF
ADVENTURE, CHARLIE ON DIET -- WE
MET 25 YEARS AGO, WE'VE BEEN
BEST MATES, WE'VE ALWAYS LOVED
MOTORCYCLES AND WE JUST WANTED
TO GO FOR AN ADVENTURE.
WE WANTED TO SHOOT THEM FOR
DOCUMENTARIES CALLED LONG WAY.
>> Bill: AND THIS WHEN YOU GO
TO THE TIP OF SOUTH AMERICA AND
YOU COME BACK UP TO L.A. AND I
UNDERSTAND THESE BIKES YOU WERE
ON THIS TIME WERE ELECTRIC --
DON'T YOU NEED A CHARGING
STATION?
ARE THERE CHARGING STATIONS WHEN
YOU'RE GOING THROUGH RURAL
SOUTH AMERICA?
>> NO, THERE AREN'T ANY.
BUT THERE ARE PLACES THAT
ELECTRICITY EXISTS.
[LAUGHTER]
AND WE WOULD PLUG-IN IT PEOPLE'S
HOUSES OR WE WOULD PLUG IN AT A
HOSTEL OR A HOTEL OR A BAR OR A
RESTAURANT, WHERE EVER WE WERE
AND WE WOULD ASK PEOPLE IF THEY
MINDED IF WE PLUGGED IN OUR
BIKES AND ACROSS THE BOARD
EVERYONE WAS LETTING US DO IT
AND OCCASIONALLY WE WOULD GET
STUCK AND WE WOULD HAVE TO FIND
SOMEWHERE THAT HAD A GENERATOR
AND THAT'S HOW A LOT OF PEOPLE
MAKE IT DOWN THERE ANYWAY.
IT WAS PRETTY DAUNTING THROUGH
PATAGONIA IN THE ATTIC, DESERT
AND THINGS LIKE THAT WHERE YOU
HAVE TO CLIMB TO VERY HIGH
ALTITUDES.
WE HAVE TO LEARN A LOT,
HARLEY-DAVIDSON MADE THIS BY
CALLED THE LIVEWIRE WHICH WAS A
BEAUTIFUL MOTORCYCLE BUT IT
WASN'T FOR SALE YET WHEN WE DID
THE TRIP, WE LEFT LAST SEPTEMBER
AND ARRIVED JUST BEFORE
CHRISTMAS.
WE ASKED THEM TO MAKE A VERSION
OF THEIR LIVEWIRE BIKE THAT WAS
MORE OF AN ADVENTURE BIKE AND IT
WAS AN AMAZING EXPERIENCE TO DO
IT ELECTRIC, IT WAS A DIFFERENT
EXPERIENCE FROM DOING THAT THE
OTHER TWO TRIPS.
>> Bill: I HAVE A TESLA WHICH
IS ELECTRIC BUT IT'S GOT A
300-MILE RANGE, I WON'T GO TO
PACOIMA.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
>> HAVE YOU GONE SOMEWHERE AND
HAD TO CHARGE ON THE WAY
SOMEWHERE?
>> Bill: FOR MY CAR?
I HAVE A DRIVER.
I'M KIDDING.
[LAUGHTER]
I CHARGE IT IN MY GARAGE AND I
NEVER GO ANYWHERE.
WE'RE LOCKED DOWN, WHERE THE
FUCK AM I GOING TO GO?
SO YOU'RE IN THESE
OUT-OF-THE-WAY PLACES, SHALL WE
SAY, IS PART OF THE ATTRACTION
THERE BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS WHO
YOU ARE?
OR WERE THERE INDIGENOUS PEOPLES
IN THE ANDES WHO KNEW WHO YOU
WERE?
>> NO.
THERE WAS PEOPLE IN THE CITIES
WHO KNEW WHO I WAS AND GENERALLY
SPEAKING WHEN WE ARE OUT IN THE
MIDDLE OF THE COUNTRYSIDE, NO.
IT'S NOT A REASON TO DO IT.
PEOPLE ASK, IS THAT THE REASON
WHY YOU DO IT AND IT'S NOT.
I DON'T I I HAVE A LIFE I FEEL
LIKE I HAVE TO ESCAPE FROM IT AL
BUT IT'S THE ADVENTURE.
BUT IT'S NICE TO TRAVEL LIKE
THAT, FOR SURE.
>> Bill: SO I KNOW ABOUT YOU,
I'VE KNOWN FOREVER, I CAN HEAR
IT IN YOUR VOICE, YOUR SCOTTISH.
WHERE ARE YOU ON SCOTTISH
INDEPENDENCE?
I DON'T KNOW IF PEOPLE EVEN KNOW
THE HISTORY, I THINK PEOPLE HAVE
A FEELING, IF THEY EVEN KNOW
THAT THE UNITED KINGDOM IS
REALLY AN EMPIRE, THERE'S
ENGLAND AT THE CENTER OF IT, BUT
MY PEOPLE, THE IRISH AND YOUR
PEOPLE THE SCOTTISH PEOPLE ARE
CONQUERED PEOPLES.
WE ARE CELTIC PEOPLE, WE AREN'T
ANGLO-SAXONS WHICH ARE REALLY
GERMANS, WE ARE CELTIC PEOPLE.
THE PEOPLE IN IRELAND DIDN'T
EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH WHEN THE
ENGLISH CONQUERED THEM.
BUT THE SCOTTISH HAVE VOTED
AGAINST THEIR OWN INDEPENDENCE
IN THE PAST, WHERE ARE YOU ON?
>> I WAS ALWAYS FOR KEEPING THE
UNION.
I THINK IT WORKS, THEN AFTER THE
BREXIT VOTE I THINK I CHANGE MY
TUNE ABOUT IT.
I THINK SCOTLAND HAVE BEEN
VOTING FOR A GOVERNMENT THEY
HAVEN'T BEEN GIVEN FOR YEARS.
WERE VERY LEFT VOTING COUNTRY,
SCOTLAND AND WE'VE BEEN UNDER
CONSERVATIVE RULE ALL THROUGHOUT
MY CHILDHOOD.
AND I THINK YOU PROBABLY ENOUGH
IS ENOUGH AND I THINK AFTER THE
BREXIT VOTE, I WAS SHOOTING IN
SCOTLAND, WE WERE SHOOTING THE
FOLLOWING FILM TO TRAINSPOTTING
THE NIGHT OF THE BREXIT VOTE AND
THE NEXT DAY THEY SHOWED THIS,
PEOPLE HAD VOTED FOR IT TO STAY
IN EUROPE ON THE MAP AND YELLOW
AND THE PEOPLE WHO VOTED TO
LEAVE WERE IN BLUE AND IT WAS
SPLIT IN HALF, SCOTLAND WAS
YELLOW AND ENGLAND WAS BLEW
APART FROM A LITTLE BIT AROUND
LONDON.
AND I THOUGHT THAT'S IT.
THE SCOTTISH PEOPLE WANT TO STAY
IN EUROPE AND THE EUROPEAN UNION
AND THE ENGLISH DON'T.
I THINK WE'RE JUST GOING GOING
IN DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS.
I THINK PROBABLY IT'S TIME.
I THINK ONCE BORIS BECAME
PRIME MINISTER SCOTLAND WAS LIKE
THAT'S AT, WE ARE FUCKING OUT OF
HERE.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
>> Bill: IT'S GREAT TO MEET
YOU, I TOOK MY MOTHER TO SEE THE
MOVIE DOWN WITH LOVE, REMEMBER
THAT ONE?
>> YEAH.
DID YOU LIKE IT?
>> Bill: I FUCKING LOVED IT.
I DON'T KNOW IF PEOPLE AT THE
TIME REMEMBERED ROCK HUDSON AND
DORIS DAY BUT IT'S ONE OF MY
FAVORITES AND YOU ENTERTAIN ME A
LOT, AND I THANK YOU FOR COMING
ON.
THANK YOU, EWAN McGREGOR.
TIME FOR NEW RULES EVERYBODY
COME UP WITH AN AUDIENCE!
WE HAVE NEW RULES!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
NEW RULE: THE ONLY THING GENDER
REVEAL PARTIES REVEAL, IS THAT
THE BABY'S PARENTS ARE MORONS.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
AND IF YOU START A MASSIVE
WILDFIRE WITH YOUR GENDER REVEAL
PARTY, YOU HAVE TO GO LIVE
SOMEPLACE THAT'S NOT HOT AND
DRY.
HAVE ALL THE BABIES YOU WANT IN
SASKATOON, BUT QUIT BURNING DOWN
CALIFORNIA.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE
HEARD, BUT BABIES AREN'T BORN
HERE WITH A GENDER ANYWAY.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
NEW RULE: NOW THAT CANADA'S TOP
DOCTOR IS ADVISING PEOPLE
HOOKING UP FOR THE FIRST TIME TO
AVOID KISSING AND "FACE TO-FACE
CONTACT" AND TO WEAR A MASK
DURING SEX, PORNHUB HAS TO
INTRODUCE THE NEW CATEGORY
"STEPMOM DOESN'T KNOW SHE'S
FUCKING STEPSON."
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
I'VE HEARD "HOW WAS IT FOR YOU?"
AFTER SEX - I'VE NEVER
HEARD 'SORRY, I THOUGHT YOU WERE
SOMEONE ELSE."
[APPLAUSE]
NEW RULE: THE VETERINARIANS AT A
POLISH ZOO WHO SAY THEY'VE BEEN
CONDUCTING A STUDY OF THE STRESS
RELIEVING EFFECTS OF MARIJUANA
ON ELEPHANTS HAVE TO ADMIT WHAT
REALLY HAPPENED.
YOU WERE HIGH AND SOMEONE SAID,
"LET'S GET THE ELEPHANTS
STONED."
AND YOU DID.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
AND BY THE WAY, WEED JUST MAKES
ELEPHANTS PARANOID.
THEY SPEND THE WHOLE NIGHT
THINKING, "DID I LEAVE MY TRUNK
OPEN?"
[APPLAUSE]
[LAUGHTER]
NEW RULE: BEFORE THE NFL SEASON
STARTS, DR. FAUCI HAS TO TELL US
IF IT'S SAFE FOR BROS TO CHEST
BUMP EACH OTHER AFTER A
TOUCHDOWN WHILE SCREAMING,
"THAT'S WHAT I'M FUCKING TALKIN'
ABOUT!!"
[LAUGHTER]
I KNEW THAT WAS JUST ME.
NEW RULE: IF IT'S OKAY TO HAVE
COFFEE MUGS THAT SAY THINGS
LIKE, "CAUTION: I HAVEN'T HAD MY
COFFEE YET," THEN ADDICTS OF
OTHER DRUGS CAN HAVE THE SAME.
LIKE A COCAINE VIAL THAT SAYS
"I'LL START WORKING WHEN MY
COCAINE DOES,"
[LAUGHTER]
OR A SYRINGE THAT
SAYS "ASK ME AFTER MY HEROIN."
FINALLY NEW RULE.
SOMEONE MUST TELL ALL THE
PARENTS WHO NOW SAY THAT THE
RECENT HOME SCHOOLING HAS LEFT
THEM WITH A NEW APPRECIATION FOR
TEACHERS: IT'S ABOUT TIME.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THIS WEEK, PARENTS ACROSS
AMERICA FACED THE HARSH REALITY
THAT AFTER A SPRING WITH THE
KIDS HOME ALL THE TIME, AND A
SUMMER WITH THE KIDS HOME ALL
THE TIME, WE MAY HAVE A FALL AND
WINTER WITH THE KIDS HOME ALL
THE TIME.
WHICH IS NOT ONLY NERVE-RACKING,
[LAUGHTER]
IT'S DESTROYING MOM'S
RELATIONSHIP WITH THE GARDENER.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
SUMMER IS ENDING, BUT FOR
PARENTS, SUMMER WAS NEVER THE
VACATION; WHEN THE KIDS GO BACK
TO SCHOOL?
THAT'S THE VACATION.
[APPLAUSE]
WHY DO YOU THINK SUMMER CAMP WAS
INVENTED?
IT WASN'T TO TEACH YOU SURVIVAL
SKILLS - IT WAS TO GET YOU OUT
OF THE HOUSE.
THEY'RE CALLING ONLINE
CLASSROOMS "DISTANCE LEARNING."
DISTANCE FOR WHO?
THE KIDS ARE RIGHT THERE AT THE
KITCHEN TABLE ALL DAMN DAY.
DISTANCE IS WHAT SCHOOLS ARE FOR
- TO PROVIDE A FIVE DAY-A-WEEK
BREAK FROM HAVING TO DEAL WITH
THOSE LITTLE SHITS ON YOUR
CHRISTMAS CARD.
[LAUGHTER]
NO WONDER 69% OF PARENTS NOW SAY
THAT BEING A TEACHER IS A HARDER
JOB THAN THEIR OWN.
AND 80% SAY THEY HAVE A
"NEWFOUND RESPECT" FOR TEACHERS.
GREAT - BUT HOW "BOUT WE GO
BEYOND GIVING TEACHERS "NEWFOUND
RESPECT?"
HOW "BOUT WE ALSO GIVE THEM THE
BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT.
ASK ANY TEACHER WHAT THEIR
NUMBER ONE COMPLAINT IS AND IT'S
HELICOPTER PARENTS STICKING
THEIR NOSES IN, DOING THEIR
[APPLAUSE]
KIDS' WORK FOR THEM, TRYING TO
ADJUST GRADES AND UNDERMINING
DISCIPLINE.
YOU HAVE TWO KIDS AND YOU WANT
TO STRANGLE THEM - CAN YOU
IMAGINE HAVING TO DEAL WITH AN
ENTIRE CLASSROOM FULL OF TINY
STICKY STRANGERS?
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
IT USED TO BE THE TEACHER WOULD
SEND HOME A REPORT ABOUT THE
BEHAVIOR OF THE CHILD.
NOW IT'S THE BEHAVIOR OF THE
TEACHER THAT GETS JUDGED.
I'VE HEARD IT FROM TEACHERS MANY
TIMES, PARENTS SAYING THINGS
LIKE, "BUT MY DAUGHTER STUDIED
REALLY HARD FOR THIS TEST."
YES, BUT SHE GOT ALL THE ANSWERS
WRONG.
[LAUGHTER]
THAT'S WHAT MATTERS IN LIFE:
RESULTS.
NOT JUST TRYING.
NOT JUST PARTICIPATING.
WHEN EVERYBODY GETS A TROPHY,
THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO WIN ARE THE
PEOPLE WHO MAKE TROPHIES.
[APPLAUSE]
IF CHILDREN DON'T LEARN THAT
LIFE CAN BE FULL OF
DISAPPOINTMENTS, THEY WON'T BE
READY FOR MARRIAGE OR DEMOCRAT
PRIMARIES.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
IF YOUR KID GETS A D, DON'T
BLAME THE TEACHER, TELL YOUR
CHILD, "YOU SHOULD HAVE WORKED
HARDER, YOU SHOULD HAVE BUCKLED
DOWN MORE, NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM
AND DO WHATEVER IT IS YOU DO IN
THERE ON YOUR WEBCAM."
[APPLAUSE]
AND THE NEXT TIME THERE'S A
CLASSROOM DISAGREEMENT WHERE A
TEACHER SAYS ONE THING AND YOUR
KID SAYS ANOTHER.
SIDE WITH THE TEACHER.
I MARK THE ONSET OF AMERICAN
DECLINE TO THE MOMENT PARENTS
STARTED SIDING WITH THEIR
CHILDREN INSTEAD OF WITH THE
TEACHERS.
[APPLAUSE]
SERIOUSLY.
KIDS MAY BE CUTE, BUT THEY'RE
ALSO RELENTLESSLY MANIPULATIVE
LITTLE WEASELS WHO CAN ONLY BE
CONTAINED WITH A UNIFIED FRONT.
MOM, DAD, AND THE TEACHER USED
TO FORM AN IRON TRIANGLE, A
TIGHT THREESOME, LIKE JERRY
FALWELL, HIS WIFE AND THE POOL
BOY.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
KIDS COULDN'T GET AWAY WITH
SHIT, AND THEY WERE SO MUCH
HEALTHIER FOR IT.
HELICOPTER PARENTING, BULLDOZER
PARENTING, WHATEVER YOU WANT TO
CALL IT - IT ISN'T GOOD FOR
ANYBODY.
NOT THE TEACHERS.
NOT THE PARENTS.
NOT THE KIDS.
AND THE IDEA THAT KIDS HAVE TOO
LITTLE SELF-ESTEEM IS
ANTIQUATED; THEY HAVE TOO MUCH,
AND IT'S TURNING THEM INTO
ANGRY, SCREAMING, GRIEVANCE
COLLECTORS - ALL OF THAT
CHILDHOOD TOLERANCE IS RESULTING
IN GROWN UP TYRANTS.
IT'S NO WONDER BY THE TIME THEY
GET TO COLLEGE, JUST HAVING TO
LISTEN TO AN OPINION THEY DON'T
AGREE WITH IS CONSIDERED AN ACT
OF "VIOLENCE."
YEAH, IT DOESN'T EVEN END WHEN
THE KIDS LEAVE THE HOUSE.
PARENTS GO ON JOB INTERVIEWS
WITH THEIR KIDS NOW.
A STUDY A FEW YEARS AGO FOUND
THAT 30% OF EMPLOYERS HAD GOTTEN
RESUMES WRITTEN BY THE
APPLICANTS' PARENTS.
15% REPORTED FIELDING COMPLAINTS
FROM A PARENT WHEN THEY DIDN'T
HIRE THE KID.
AND YET SOMEHOW OUR ECONOMY
FALLING BEHIND CHINA'S.
WEIRD.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
SO IF IN THE FUTURE, A TEACHER
TAKES YOUR KID'S PHONE, JUST
TELL THAT TEACHER THANK YOU.
THANK YOU FOR DOING SOMETHING I
LACKED THE BALLS TO DO YEARS
AGO.
OKAY, THAT'S OUR SHOW.
BACK HERE, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
I WANT TO THANK MY GUESTS
JESSICA YELLIN, PETER HAMPY,
EWAN MCGREGOR AND PETER STRZOK.
WE'LL BE BACK NEXT WEEK.
FROM THE STUDIO, I HOPE.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
[APPLAUSE]