♪ ♪
>> START THE CLOCK.
♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Bill: THANK YOU!
WOW, LOOK AT THIS.
I APPRECIATE IT.
SPRING HAS SPRUNG HERE, I
APPRECIATE IT.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, I CAN SEE
THE HAPPINESS, THE ENTHUSIASM,
THE LOVE, BECAUSE THANK YOU AND
WE ARE GETTING BACK TO NORMAL, I
SEE IT EVERYWHERE.
THE TRAFFIC IS HEAVIER,
RESTAURANTS ARE OPEN,
REPUBLICANS PRETEND TO GIVE A
SHIT ABOUT THE DEBT AGAIN, I
FEEL LIKE ANY MINUTE, PAM
ANDERSON COULD REMARRY KID ROCK.
THINGS ARE JUST RETURNING.
THE CDC SAID THE DISTANCING ROLE
THAT THEY HAVE FOR SCHOOLKIDS,
WHICH HAS BEEN 6 FEET, NOW
3 FEET.
MOVING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.
IN FLORIDA, THE STUDENTS ARE
HOPEFUL THAT BY FALL THEY WILL
BE BACK INSIDE THEIR TEACHERS.
OH, I COULD FLORIDA.
OF COURSE WITH US REOPENING
BRINGS OTHER ISSUES, WE HAVE A
SURGE OF MIGRANTS AT THE BORDER
AND AUTHORITIES SAY WE CANNOT
TAKE ANYMORE, ANY MORE UNSKILLED
FOREIGNERS WHO DON'T EVEN SEEM
LIKE THEY WANT TO WORK.
WE ALREADY HAVE MEGHAN AND
HARRY.
[LAUGHTER]
GOOD CROWD.
I SHOULD GIVE OUT TREATS WHEN
THEY LAUGH AT THE POLITICALLY
INCORRECT ONES.
HERE'S SOMETHING INTERESTING I
READ ABOUT THE PANDEMIC THAT WE
ARE HOPEFULLY COMING OUT OF,
DURING THIS LAST YEAR, THEY SAY
THE SURVEY FOUND THE AVERAGE
SINGLE PERSON HAS BEEN
MASTURBATING THREE TIMES A DAY.
[LAUGHTER]
I DON'T KNOW WHO THIS IS
EXACTLY, I ASSUME IT'S THE GUY
IN THE ZOOM MEETING WHO CLAIMS
HE'S PUTTING HIS CAT.
OF COURSE THIS DOESN'T REALLY
REVEAL ANYTHING ABOUT HUMAN
NATURE WE DON'T ALREADY KNOW,
BUT DOES IT EXPLAIN WHY COSTCO
IS ALWAYS OUT OF KLEENEX.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
BUT HEY, BIDEN IS KIND OF
KICKING ASS.
HIS BIG THING WAS -- THAT WAS
HIS BIG THING, I'M GOING TO GET
100 MILLION VACCINES OUT, HE'S
WAY AHEAD.
97 MILLION VACCINES HAVE GONE
2 MILLION A DAY NOW.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
TRUMP SAID "OH SURE, IF YOU WANT
A SHOW OFF GOVERNMENT TRIES."
BIDEN PROMISED 100,000,100 DAYS,
WAY AHEAD OF THAT SCHEDULE.
OF COURSE YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND
THAT THIS IS A GUY WHO EATS
DINNER AT 5:00 P.M.
ONE REASON WHY THEY ARE DOING SO
WELL WITH THAT IS THEY EXPANDED
THE LIST OF WHO CAN GIVE
SHOTS -- DENTISTS.
DID YOU KNOW THAT?
MEDICAL STUDENTS.
MIDWIVES.
MIDWIVES?
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WE HAD THOSE.
VETERINARIANS, I WENT TO MY VET,
IT'S FINE.
IT'S A LITTLE DIFFERENT, HE GAVE
ME A SHOT AND HE PUT A CONE ON
MY NECK.
BUT IT'S FINE.
IT'S A LITTLE WEIRD GOING TO THE
VET FOR A SHOT, I HAD TO TRICK
MYSELF TO GET INTO THE CAR BUT
OTHER THAN THAT.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
BUT YOU READ THIS, PEOPLE ARE
FIGURING OUT WAYS TO JUMP THE
VACCINE LINES, AT BERKELEY YOU
CAN GET IT IF YOUR SPIRITUAL
ADVISOR SAYS YOU ARE AN OLD
SOUL, THAT SEEMS WRONG.
IN L.A., YOU CAN GET IT IF YOUR
FACIAL FILLER IS STILL UNDER
WARRANTY.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
SPEAKING OF FACIAL FILLER, THE
OSCAR NOMINATIONS ARE OUT.
ARE YOU EXCITED ABOUT THAT?
THE LEADING CONTENDERS FOR BEST
PICTURE ARE NOMAD LAND AND THE
SOUND OF METAL.
FOUR THEATERS, WE ARE TRYING TO
FIGURE OUT HOW TO OPEN AT 15%
CAPACITY, I THINK WE FOUND THE
ANSWER.
OKAY, WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW,
HEIDI HEITKAMP AND NICK
GILLESPIE ARE HERE.
BUT FIRST, HE'S A FORMER DATA
SCIENTIST WITH THE 2012 OBAMA
CAMPAIGN WHO IS NOW THE HEAD OF
DATA SCIENCE AT OPEN LABS: DAVID
SHOR.
DAVID!
HOW ARE YOU?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
LET'S SET YOU UP FOR THE PEOPLE
WHO MAY NOT KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
DATA SCIENTIST, I HADN'T HEARD
THAT TERM BEFORE, WHAT EXACTLY
IS A DATA SCIENTIST?
>> STATISTICIANS WHO -- I THINK
THE JOKE IS IT'S PROGRAMMERS WHO
ARE BAD AT STATISTICS OR STATUS
STATISTICIANS ARE BETTER
PROGRAMMING.
>> Bill: YOU DID IT FOR OBAMA
WHEN YOU WERE 20, RIGHT?
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Bill: WOW, YOU ARE ABLE TO
DO THAT BECAUSE YOU STARTED
COLLEGE AT 13?
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Bill: ME TOO.
BOY GENIUS, LET ME ASK YOU THIS,
HOW DID YOU DO WITH A 2020
ELECTION, WHERE YOUR PREDICTIONS
CLOSE?
THE POLLS WERE WAY OFF.
>> THE POLLS WERE WRONG, THIS
WAS A REALLY TERRIBLE YEAR FOR
POLLING.
2016 WAS A BAD YEAR FOR POLLING
BUT 2020 SOMEHOW UP BEING WORSE
AND I THINK AT LEAST FOR ME,
I'LL SAY THE ELECTION WAS CLOSER
THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BUT I
THINK THE JOKE IS EVERYONE
PREDICTED GOING IN THAT
JOE BIDEN WOULD BE PRESIDENT AND
THE DEMOCRATS WOULD HAVE 50 OR
51 SEATS IN THE SENATE, THAT'S
KIND OF WHAT HAPPENED, BUT I
WOULD LOVE TO TALK A LITTLE BIT
ABOUT WHY THE POLLS WERE SO
WRONG.
>> Bill: I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR
IT.
>> IS A TALE OF TWO ERRORS COME
I'M GOING TO START WITH 2016.
THE BIG FUNDAMENTAL REASON WHY
POLLS WERE WRONG, EVERYONE LIKES
TO TALK ABOUT THE UNDECIDEDS
BREAKING OR TURN OUT BUT IT'S
SURVEY TAKERS ARE SUPER WEIRD.
THAT'S THE BIG PROBLEM.
>> Bill: WE ARE AT IT LIKE A
CREEPY?
>> A LOT OF THEM, I'M SURE.
>> Bill: LIKE PEOPLE GET THE
CALL THEY THINK IT'S A WEIRDO?
>> THE BIGGEST THING LOOKING AT
2016 IS SOMETHING CALLED SOCIAL
TRUST.
THE WAY THIS GETS
OPERATIONALIZED, SOCIAL
SCIENTISTS ASK DO YOU THINK
PEOPLE CAN BE TRUSTED OR KEEP TO
THEMSELVES?
PEOPLE SAY PEOPLE CAN'T BE
TRUSTED, 60-70% OF PEOPLE WITH A
FEW PEOPLE WHO DO TRUST TO THE
PEOPLE AROUND THEM
UNSURPRISINGLY, WAY MORE LIKELY
TO ANSWER PHONE SURVEYS.
>> Bill: YOU'RE GETTING
TRUSTING PEOPLE.
>> YOU'RE GETTING TRUSTING
PEOPLE, NICE PEOPLE.
PEOPLE ARE WAY MORE AGREEABLE,
THE KIND OF PEOPLE WHO STOPPED
WHAT THEY ARE DOING, A
CONTEMPORARY RESEARCHER WANTS TO
KNOW MY REVIEWS.
>> Bill: I'LL HELP THEM OUT,
WHICH IS NOT WHAT I WOULD SAY
ABOUT THAT I WOULD SAY FUCK
THAT, WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?
>> THIS A LOT OF VOTERS JUST
LIKE YOU.
THE BIG PROBLEM IN PEOPLE WITH
LOW SOCIAL TRUST NEVER ANSWER
PHONE SURVEYS BUT IT USED TO NOT
MATTER.
IT USED TO BE POLITICS WAS A
FIGHT ABOUT WHETHER TAXES SHOULD
BE HIGHER OR LOWER.
DONALD TRUMP CHANGED THAT, HE
CHANGED WHAT IT MEANT TO BE A
REPUBLICAN AND SUDDENLY IF YOU
LOOK, AMONG PEOPLE WHO TRUST
THEIR NEIGHBORS, THAT GROUP
SWUNG TOWARDS CLINTON BY FIVE OR
SIX POINTS, THAT'S WITH THE
POLLS CAPTURED IN THE POLLING WE
SAW BUT THERE WAS THIS SILENT,
HIDDEN MAJORITY OF PEOPLE WHO
DIDN'T TRUST THE PEOPLE AROUND
THEM AND WEREN'T ANSWERING
PHONES AND THOSE PEOPLE
DISPROPORTIONATELY WORKING-CLASS
WHITE VOTERS WHO LIVE IN THE
MIDWEST AND THAT IS THE BIG
REASON WHY ALL OF THESE
MIDWESTERN POLLS WERE WRONG.
>> Bill: WILL HE FIX THIS NEXT
TIME WHEN THEY STARTED TO
POLLING, CAN THEY ADJUST THAT?
>> THERE'S A DIFFERENT POLLING
STORY WHICH IS IN 2016, THE
STATES WERE WRONG BUT AT LEAST
THE NATIONAL POLLS WERE ABOUT
RIGHT.
2020 WAS WAY WORSE, THE NATIONAL
POLLS WERE OFF BY THREE OR FOUR
POINTS AND THE REASON I THINK
IT'S KIND OF FUNNY, IT'S
BASICALLY CORONAVIRUS.
WHEN WE DO OUR SURVEYS, WE JOIN
THEM INTO THE VOTER FILE, WE CAN
SEE STARTING IN MARCH THE
PERCENTAGE OF PEOPLE WHO
ANSWERED SURVEYS WERE REGISTERED
DEMOCRATS SHOT UP IN THE REASON
IS DEMOCRATS WERE STUCK AT HOME,
THEY RESPECTED THE LOCKDOWN, YOU
COULD TELL WITH CREEPY
CELL PHONE DATA THE DEMOCRATS
WERE STAYING HOME AND
REPUBLICANS WERE OUT PARTYING
AND DOING SPRING BREAK.
THOSE DEMOCRATS WERE JUST
DESPERATELY ANSWERING EVERY
SURVEY THEY COULD FIND.
THAT'S WHY THE SURVEYS WERE
WRONG, IT'S KIND OF FUNNY.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Bill: OKAY.
WHAT WAS THE BIGGEST SURPRISE OF
THE 2020 -- TO ME, I DON'T KNOW
IF THIS IS WHAT SCIENTISTS SAID
BUT THE FACT THAT TRUMP DID
BETTER WITH MINORITIES.
>> YEAH.
>> Bill: WHAT HAPPENED THERE?
>> I THINK THE BIG SURPRISE, IN
2016 TRUMP DID DO BETTER WITH
NONWHITE VOTERS THEN
BARACK OBAMA DID AND I THINK
PEOPLE -- THIS A LOT OF REASONS
HE WOULD DO BETTER WITH NONBITE
VOTERS BUT IN 2018, NONWHITE
VOTERS DEFENDED AGAINST
DEMOCRATS WHILE WHITE VOTERS
TRENDED TOWARD AND THIS IS
CONSEQUENTIAL.
WE LOST THE FLORIDA SENATE RACE,
THE GEORGIA GOVERNOR'S RACE, IF
STACEY ABRAMS HAD DONE AS WELL
AMONG BLACK VOTERS AS
HILLARY CLINTON DID, SHE WOULD
BE GOVERNOR RIGHT NOW.
BUT 2020 WAS A CONTINUATION OF
THAT TREND AND I THINK THAT WAS
THE THING THAT WAS MOST
SURPRISING.
IF IT'S SOMETHING A LOT OF
PEOPLE DIDN'T SEE COMING, JUST
TO RUN THROUGH IT, HISPANIC
VOTERS SWUNG SOMETHING LIKE NINE
PERCENTAGE POINTS AGAINST
DEMOCRATS AND THAT IS PERCENTAGE
POINTS, THAT MEANS ROUGHLY
ONE IN TEN HISPANIC VOTERS
SWITCH THEIR VOTE.
>> Bill: THAT'S A GROUP THAT
DEMOCRATS COUNT ON.
>> HISTORICALLY YES AND WITH
BLACK VOTERS IT WASN'T AS LARGE
BUT STILL THERE WAS OF 2-3%
SHIFT, AMONG ASIAN VOTERS, A
FIVE OR 6% SHIFT.
IT'S A BIG DEAL.
>> Bill: I'VE READ YOU'VE SAID
MOST VOTERS ARE NOT LIBERAL.
>> YEAH -- DOMINIC --
>> Bill: EVEN MOST DEMOCRATS.
>> AMONG DEMOCRATS IT'S ROUGHLY
50/50 BUT I THINK AMONG WHITE
PEOPLE, ABOUT 90% OF WHITE
LIBERALS VOTE FOR DEMOCRATS AND
80% OF WHITE CONSERVATIVES VOTE
FOR REPUBLICANS BUT WITH
NONWHITE VOTERS IT'S NOT LIKE
THAT AND THIS IS JUST
ARITHMETICALLY, IDEOLOGY DOESN'T
VARY MUCH BY RACE, ROUGHLY THE
SAME NUMBER BLACK, WHITE,
HISPANIC VOTERS IDENTIFY AS
LIBERAL, MODERATE AND
CONSERVATIVE BUT PARTISANSHIP
VARIES A LOT AND THE REASON FOR
WHY IS DEMOCRATS HISTORICALLY
HAVE DONE REALLY WELL WITH
NONWHITE CONSERVATIVES.
THE STORY OF 2020 IS THAT
DEMOCRATS USED TO WIN HISPANIC
CONSERVATIVES BY DOUBLE DIGITS
AND THIS TIME TRUMP WON THEM BY
DOUBLE DIGITS.
>> Bill: WOULD YOU SAY THERE
IS A WOKE AND LIBERAL ARE NOW
TWO DIFFERENT WINGS OF THE
PARTY?
PEOPLE WHO CONSIDER THEMSELVES
CLASSIC LIBERALS LIKE I DO --
THAT'S WHY I THINK THEY LOSE,
THE DEMOCRATS HAVE BEEN LOSING
VOTES THAT THEY SHOULD BE
WINNING.
"DEFUND THE POLICE" COULD YOU
COME UP WITH A MORE DRIVE AWAY
THE VOTERS PHRASE THEM THAT FOR
EXAMPLE?
JUST TO TAKE ONE.
>> CRIME IS REALLY UNPOPULAR.
IF YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE
POLITICAL ADVICE.
I THINK THE CORE PROBLEM HERE IS
AS THE PARTY HAS BECOME MORE
EDUCATED AND EDUCATED PEOPLE ARE
INCREASINGLY DEFINED THE BAND OF
THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY AND ONE
THING I LIKE TO SAY IS A LOT OF
PEOPLE WILL SAY IT'S A TRUISM IN
POLITICS THAT DEMOCRATS ARE TOO
WONKY, WE ARE EGGHEADS, WE TALK
ABOUT ISSUES AND NEED TO
COMMUNICATE OUR VALUES BUT THE
MEDIAN VOTER DOESN'T SHARE OUR
VALUES, IF THEY HAD OUR VALUES
THEY WOULD BE LIBERALS BUT ARE
THE ONLY WAY DEMOCRATS HAVE
HISTORICALLY WON ELECTIONS IS
TALKING ABOUT CONCRETE ISSUES
THAT PEOPLE AGREED WITH US ON.
IT'S HOW BILL CLINTON WON, IT'S
HOW BARACK OBAMA WON AND THAT
WAS ONE OF JOE BIDEN'S
STRENGTHS.
>> Bill: WHAT ARE THESE VALUES
THAT YOU THINK THE AVERAGE VOTER
DOESN'T SHARE?
>> TO GO BACK TO THE POLLING
THING, SOCIAL TRUST IS A BIG
ONE.
LIBERALS TRUST GOVERNMENT, THEY
TRUST SOCIETY, THEY REALLY
BELIEVE IN POSITIVE CHANGE AND
THE POTENTIAL FOR POSITIVE
INTERACTION.
ALSO RACIAL RESENTMENT,
ATTITUDES TOWARDS GENDER, WHAT
KIND OF SOCIETY PEOPLE WANT TO
LIVE IN, WHAT KIND OF
NEIGHBORHOODS PEOPLE WANT TO
LIVE IN, LIBERAL LIKE TO LIVE AN
EXCITING, TIGHTLY PACKED CITIES,
FROM A PERSONALITY PERSPECTIVE
SCIENTISTS LIKE TO STUDY THE
PERSONALITY MODEL, OPENNESS TO
NEW EXPERIENCES, USEFUL WORD TO
KNOW AND JUST THE IDEA OF HOW
PEOPLE RESPOND TO NOVEL STIMULI.
IT'S HIGHLY CORRELATED TO
LIBERALISM.
AT SOME PEOPLE WHEN THEY SEE
SOMETHING NEW AND EXCITING, NEW
ETHNIC RESTAURANT THEY GET
REALLY EXCITED AND ENERGIZED.
BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE, THE
MAJORITY OF PEOPLE SEE NOVEL
STIMULI AND IT DRAINS THEM, IT
FREAKS THEM OUT AND THAT'S WHY
THERE'S ALL THIS GEOGRAPHIC
SORTING.
>> Bill: WE SEEM TO BE
ENTERING AN ERA OF RESEGREGATION
THAT'S COMING FROM THE LEFT.
ON MANY COLLEGE CAMPUSES, THERE
ARE SEPARATE DORMS, SEPARATE
BLACK DORMS, GRADUATION
CEREMONIES, STUFF LIKE THAT.
HOW WILL THAT AFFECT ELECTIONS
IN THE FUTURE?
>> THERE'S A GREAT STUDY IN
NORTH CAROLINA THAT SHOWED
RACIALLY INTEGRATED SCHOOLS MAKE
PEOPLE MORE LIBERAL BUT I THINK
JUST TO GO BACK, I THINK THE
IMPORTANT THING IS TO REALIZE
THAT MOST NONWHITE VOTERS ARE
NOT LIBERAL, THEY DON'T IDENTIFY
AS LIBERAL, WE SHOULD TAKE IT
SERIOUSLY.
I THINK REALIZING THAT MOST
VOTERS DON'T SHARE OUR VALUES
MEANS THAT WE SHOULD INSTEAD
MEET PEOPLE WHERE THEY ARE WITH
THE VALUES THAT THEY HOLD AND WE
SHOULD TALK TO THEM ABOUT ISSUES
THEY CARE ABOUT.
[APPLAUSE]
>> Bill: THANKS FOR COMING ON,
VERY ENLIGHTENING.
LET'S SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING WHEN
YOU'RE 40.
THANKS, DAVID, LET'S MEET OUR
PANEL!
OKAY!
HERE THEY ARE.
HE'S EDITOR-AT-LARGE AT REASON
AND HOST OF "THE REASON
INTERVIEW" PODCAST: NICK
GILLESPIE.
IT'S BEEN A WHILE.
SHE'S THE FORMER DEMOCRATIC
SENATOR FROM NORTH DAKOTA AND
CO-FOUNDER OF THE ONE COUNTRY
PROJECT:
OUR RETURNING CHAMPION, HEIDI
HEITKAMP.
ALWAYS GREAT TO SEE YOU HERE.
LET'S GET TO THE TRAGEDY OF THE
WEEK, JOE BIDEN JUST BEFORE HE
WENT ON WAS SPEAKING IN ATLANTA,
HE SAID WHATEVER MOTIVATION, WE
KNOW THIS TOO MANY
ASIAN-AMERICANS HAVE BEEN
WALKING UP AND DOWN THE STREETS
AND WORRYING WAKING UP EACH
MORNING AND FEELING THEIR SAFETY
AND THE SAFETY OF THEIR LOVED
ONES ARE AT STAKE, I THOUGHT
THAT WAS A GREAT STATEMENT.
TRUE STATEMENT, LET'S NOT BURY
THE LEDE.
THIS IS A BIG VIOLENT CRIME,
AGAINST ASIANS OF 150%.
THIS IS INTOLERABLE, WE HAVE TO
ADDRESS IT, HOWEVER THIS STORY
IS INSTRUCTIVE AND I THINK IT
SAYS A LOT ABOUT OUR TRIBALISM
AND INABILITY TO SEE EVIDENCE AS
OPPOSED TO WHAT WOULD FIT THE
NARRATIVE THAT WE ALREADY
BELIEVE.
CHRISTOPHER WRAY SAYS "IT DOES
NOT APPEAR" -- THAT'S THE HEAD
OF THE FBI "IT DOES NOT APPEAR
THE MOTIVE WAS RACIALLY
MOTIVATED."
YET MARILYN STRICKLAND, SHE IS
FROM WASHINGTON STATE "RACIALLY
MOTIVATED VIOLENCE SHOULD BE
CALLED EXACTLY FOR WHAT IT IS,
WE MUST STOP MAKING EXCUSES OR
REBRANDING IT AS ECONOMIC
ANXIETY OR SEXUAL ADDICTION."
BUT WHAT IF IT IS THAT?
EVERYTHING I'VE READ ABOUT THIS
GUY, CONSERVATIVE BAPTIST, HE IS
AN ALBINO ASSASSIN, HE'S
FLAGELLATING HIMSELF BECAUSE HE
FEELS BAD ABOUT SEX.
PORN ADDICTION, SEEKS TREATMENT
FOR SEXUAL ADDICTION, THE
ROOMMATE SAID WHENEVER WE TALK
ABOUT VISITING A MASSAGE PARLORS
IT WAS IN THE CONTEXT OF GOD AND
HIS PARENTS, WOULDN'T THE
ROOMMATE TO KNOW IF IT WAS ABOUT
RACE?
MAYBE WE'LL FIND OUT SOMETHING
THAT'S NOT THERE BUT IT SEEMS
LIKE PEOPLE INSIST -- THIS IS
WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS I'M JUST
GOING TO INSIST.
>> I THINK WE'RE GOING TO LOOK
AT THIS THROUGH THE LENS OF OUR
BIAS BUT MY CRITICISM THERE IS
HOW DOES CHRISTOPHER WRAY KNOW
IT WASN'T ABOUT RACE?
HE CRITICIZES JUMPING THE GUN
BUT HE HASN'T FINISHED HIS
INVESTIGATION.
WE DON'T KNOW, HE SAID IT
DOESN'T APPEAR TO BE, WILL SHUT
YOUR MOUTH AND SAY I DON'T KNOW
YET, CAN YOU JUST GIVE US SOME
TIME TO FINISH THE INVESTIGATIO
INVESTIGATION?
[APPLAUSE]
>> I THINK THAT IS BASICALLY
WHAT HE WAS SAYING AND I THINK
IT'S IMPORTANT BECAUSE WE ARE IN
A SUPERCHARGED ENVIRONMENT WHERE
EVERYBODY IS TALKING ABOUT
RACISM AND WHITE SUPREMACY, THE
SAME SURVEY THAT SHOWED 150%
INCREASE IN HATE CRIMES IN 16
MAJOR CITIES, OVERALL
HATE CRIMES LAST YEAR WENT DOWN
BY 7%.
WE SHOULDN'T BE RUSHING TO TRY
TO FIT EVERYTHING INTO A
HATE CRIME.
THE HISTORY OF ASIANS IN
AMERICA, THEY WERE THE FIRST
PEOPLE TO BE EXCLUDED FROM
IMMIGRATION -- AS A MATTER OF
FACT, SALVATION, INDIANS, THERE
WAS A 1943 SUPREME COURT CASE
WHERE AN INDIAN TRIED TO SAY WHY
HE SHOULD BE ALLOWED CITIZENSHIP
AND NOT ONLY DID HE LOSE, THEY
ENDED UP KICKING OUT OTHER
INDIANS WHO HAD MANAGED TO GET
HERE.
THEY HAVE A HORRIBLE HISTORY IN
THIS COUNTRY BUT IT'S ALSO A
GREAT IMMIGRANT STORY IN THAT
ASIAN-AMERICANS NOW MAKE FAR
MORE THAN THE MEDIAN AVERAGE
FAMILY HOUSEHOLD IN TERMS OF
INCOME AND EDUCATION AND
OPPORTUNITY.
AS WE TALK AND TRY TO FIX RACISM
IN OUR SOCIETY, THE ASIANS ARE
LIKE JEWS IN AMERICA, THEY FACE
A LOT OF SPECIFIC PROBLEMS BUT
THEY SUCCEED VERY WELL AND THEY
ULTIMATELY ARE ACCEPTED TO.
>> THE PROBLEM IN THIS COUNTRY
IS WE DON'T CONFRONT ISSUES LIKE
WHAT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW WITH
THE ASIANS UNTIL WE HAVE A MASS
SHOOTING AT A MASSAGE PARLOR,
BUT WHY NOT?
>> YOUR INSISTING IT IS RACIAL.
>> Bill: I REALLY FEEL LIKE IF
IT WAS ARMENIANS WHO WERE
MANNING THE MASSAGE PARLORS, HE
WOULD HAVE KILLED ARMENIANS.
>> WE DON'T KNOW THAT.
>> Bill: WE DON'T KNOW BUT
WHAT WE DO KNOW, THE ROOMMATE,
THAT'S WHAT HE WAS SAYING IN THE
PRIVACY OF HIS HOME.
WOULDN'T HE HAVE SET IT THERE?
>> I DO THINK IT'S RIGHT TO SAY
OVER THE PAST YEAR AND THIS IS
SOMETHING THAT TRUMP AND A
NUMBER OF PEOPLE WERE PUSHING
THE WUHAN FLU TYPE OF THING,
THIS IS ODIOUS, AWFUL, RACIAL,
RACIST LANGUAGE THAT SHOULD BE
CONFRONTED AND THAT'S SOMETHING
THAT BIDEN SAID IF YOU HEAR
SOMETHING, DON'T PUT UP WITH AND
PUT IT DOWN, THAT'S TRUE.
I THINK TURNING THIS PARTICULAR
INSTANCE INTO SOMETHING WHICH IT
MAY NOT, THAT DOES NOT HELP YOU
REACH PEOPLE WHO ARE RACIST.
IT CONFIRMS THEIR IDEA.
>> MY POINT IS IN TILL THERE IS
SOMETHING SO HEINOUS, WE DON'T
CONFRONT REAL PROBLEMS.
>> Bill: SEXUAL GUILT FROM
RELIGION IS ALSO A BIG THING.
IT'S BEEN A BIG THING FOR
MILLENNIA.
[APPLAUSE]
EXACTLY.
JESUS DOESN'T LIKE ME BECAUSE WE
ARE SEXUAL BEINGS AND RELIGION
MAKES YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT THAT.
>> THE QUESTION IS WHAT ABOUT
MASSAGE PARLORS, WHAT ABOUT
LEGALIZING SEX WORK, THERE ARE
WAYS THAT WE CAN CHANGE HOW
PEOPLE INTERACT AND HOW THEY
MEET BASIC NEEDS IN AN OPEN WAY
AND A MORE CONSTRUCTIVE WAY.
THERE ARE MANY THINGS WE CAN BE
TALKING ABOUT COMING OUT OF THIS
AND I DO THINK IT'S RIGHT TO
TAKE A MOMENT TO LOOK AT THE
RESIDUE OF ANTI-ASIAN RACISM IN
AMERICA AND DEAL WITH THAT, BUT
NOT NECESSARILY TO TURN THIS
INTO SOMETHING IT'S NOT.
>> Bill: IS IT THAT HARD TO
KEEP TWO THOUGHTS IN HER MIND AT
THE SAME TIME, THIS EPIDEMIC OF
VIOLENCE AGAINST ASIANS IS
HORRIBLE AND WE NEED TO DO
SOMETHING ABOUT IT AND THIS
PROBABLY ISN'T PART OF IT.
>> PEOPLE GET SO FRUSTRATED THAT
THAT NO ONE IS PAYING ATTENTION
THAT EVERYBODY JUMPS ON
SOMETHING LIKE THIS AND SAYS
THERE IT IS AND THEN YOU GET THE
ATTENTION AND THAT IS THE
PROBLEM.
WE DON'T GIVE ATTENTION TO
PROBLEMS THAT AREN'T CATASTROPHE
CATASTROPHE.
>> Bill: THAT'S A GOOD SEGUE
TO MY ISSUE ABOUT THE BORDER.
"CRISIS AT THE BORDER" HEADLINE
ON THE NEWS SEASON, EVERY YEAR.
IF I THOUGHT IT WAS INTERESTING
BECAUSE I ALSO READ TODAY ALONG
WITH THE BORDER STORIES THAT
OVER AT THE WHITE HOUSE, THEY
PUT PEOPLE ON LEAVE AND FIRE TO
SOME WERE SMOKING POT.
I THOUGHT THIS WAS THE NEW
WHITE HOUSE.
I THOUGHT, KAMALA HARRIS HAD A
COME-TO-JESUS MOMENT ON POT TO.
>> AS LONG AS SHE WAS HIGH AND
THEN SHE WENT BACK TO BEING A
COP.
>> Bill: NOT COOL, I'M
CONNECTING THESE TWO ISSUES AND
I'LL TELL YOU WHY.
THE DEMOCRATS ARE PUTTING FORTH
LEGISLATION IN PIECES BECAUSE
IMMIGRATION IS THE ISSUE THAT
KEEPS HAUNTING THEM AND WE AS A
COUNTRY HAVE TO SOLVE.
DREAMERS, STUFF ABOUT THAT,
HUMANITARIAN AID, FARMWORKERS,
THESE THESE ARE THE EASY ONES.
BIDEN ALSO SAID WE SHOULD
ADDRESS THE ROOT CAUSE AND HE
MENTIONED AID THE
CENTRAL AMERICAN ECONOMIES.
EXCUSE ME, THE ROOT CAUSE IS
DRUGS.
WE LIKE DRUGS, THEY GROW DRUGS,
IT'S ILLEGAL, THOSE COUNTRIES
ARE GOING TO BE RUN BY NARCO
TERRORISTS.
>> CAN I GO A LITTLE BIT FURTHER
AND SAY THE PROBLEM ISN'T DRUGS,
THE PROBLEM IS THE WAR ON DRUGS.
>> Bill: THAT'S WHAT I MEAN.
TRUST ME, I DON'T THINK THE
PROBLEM IS DRUGS.
>> THE CARTELS AREN'T MOVING
AVOCADOS, THEY ARE MOVING WEED
AND COCAINE AND OTHER SUBSTANCE
SUBSTANCES.
THIS IS WHERE JOE BIDEN
UNFORTUNATELY IS THE MOST
CLUELESS PERSON, HE'S THE WORST
PERSON TO HAVE IN THE
WHITE HOUSE.
THIS IS A GUY OVER THE PAST 50
YEARS HAS BEEN INVOLVED IN EVERY
MAJOR INCREASE IN THE WAR ON
DRUGS.
IF DRUGS IS THE ISSUE, THIS IS
NOT THE GUY YOU WANT IN THE
WHITE HOUSE RIGHT NOW AS IT
INTERSECTS WITH IMMIGRATION.
>> THE PROBLEM IS WE CAN ALL SAY
LET'S LEGALIZE IT BUT IT LEADS
TO SOME PRETTY SERIOUS
CONSEQUENCES.
>> LIKE WHAT?
>> ADDICTION, EXPANSION OF
ADDICTION.
I'M NOT SAYING ABOUT MARIJUANA
COME ON TALKING ABOUT --
>> Bill: NO.
PORTUGAL DID IT, PORTUGAL DID
THAT, THEY LEGALIZED EVERYTHING.
>> DECRIMINALIZED AND SAW A
LOWER USE RATES, LOWER ADDICTION
RATES.
>> LET'S TAKE A DIFFERENT RUN ON
THIS, THE VAST MAJORITY OF
PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY DON'T
WANT TO LEGALIZE DRUGS BUT THEY
ALSO DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH
CONSEQUENCES OF NOT LEGALIZING.
>> THE OVERWHELMING MAJORITY
WANT TO LEGALIZE WEED.
>> THAT'S WHERE BIDEN
ADMINISTRATION IS WAY BEHIND.
>> IN NOVEMBER, PEOPLE IN OREGON
DECRIMINALIZED ALL DRUGS FOR
PERSONAL POSSESSION.
PEOPLE IN D.C. LEGALIZED
MUSHROOMS AND THINGS LIKE THAT.
EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK PEOPLE ARE
SAYING WE CAN HAVE THE WAR ON
DRUGS OR WE CAN HAVE DRUGS IT'S
NOT A TOUGH CHOICE.
>> Bill: ALL THE BAD, ILLEGAL
DRUGS, THEY HAVE PHARMACEUTICAL
VERSIONS.
YOU CAN GET COCAINE, THEY JUST
CALL IT ADDERALL.
YOU CAN GET HEROIN, THEY JUST
CALL IT METHADONE OR OPIOIDS.
>> THIS IS THE CRAZIEST STORY
ABOUT POT BECAUSE IT'S SCHEDULED
HIGHER THAN THOSE DRUGS BECAUSE
I HAVE A PHARMACEUTICAL REASON.
I DON'T KNOW WHY THE BIDEN
ADMINISTRATION WOULD STEP INTO
THIS BECAUSE THEY DON'T SEE THE
TREND NATIONALLY WHICH IS A
SOUTH DAKOTA LEGALIZE
RECREATIONAL MARIJUANA,
SOUTH DAKOTA, RIGHT?
SOUTH DAKOTA --
>> Bill: YOUR STATE?
>> MY STATE HAS NOT YET BUT
EVERYONE WILL EVENTUALLY.
>> Bill: THE NEXT TIME YOU
COME ON THIS SHOW, THERE WON'T
BE ALL THIS --
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
ALL THIS ARGUING!
>> THE CHALLENGE THAT YOU HAVE
WITH THE BORDER IS THAT NO ONE
WANTS TO TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT
WHAT'S GOING ON, WHICH IS THE
CARTELS ARE DOING VERY, VERY
DANGEROUS, HORRIBLE THINGS,
THESE KIDS ARE COMING TO THE
BORDER.
>> Bill: BECAUSE OF ILLEGAL
DRUGS.
>> BECAUSE THEY ARE ECONOMIC
MIGRANTS AND THEIR GOING TO COME
INTO THIS COUNTRY AND TO WORK
AND TO SEND REMITTANCES HOME
BECAUSE THEIR PARENTS CANNOT
AFFORD TO LIVE --
>> THEY WILL BE LIKE MY
GRANDPARENTS FROM ITALY EXCEPT
BETTER WORKERS.
>> IF YOU RETURN THESE KIDS,
THEY WON'T HAVE THE ABILITY TO
PAY AND THEIR FAMILIES -- THIS
STUFF WITH THE KIDS IS REALLY
BAD.
>> Bill: THE PRESIDENT IS
FINDING OUT THAT KIDS IN CAGES
WAS HORRIBLE BUT WHEN KIDS SHOW
UP AT THE BORDER, YOU PUT THEM
IN SOME SORT OF THING THAT
SOMEONE CAN CALL A CAGE.
>> THERE IS THAT LARGER
QUESTION, THEY NEED TO HAVE --
FIRST SURGE IS COMMITTING TO
HAVE MORE FACILITIES, THEY NEED
TO HAVE MORE RESOURCES TO DEAL
WITH PEOPLE HUMANELY.
MOST ASYLUM-SEEKERS DON'T GET
ACCEPTED AND GO BACK HOME BUT WE
NEED A BROADER DISCUSSION ABOUT
IMMIGRATION.
TRUMP'S GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT WAS
TO TURN EVERYBODY IN FAVOR OF
IMMIGRANTS, 85% OF DEMOCRATS,
SICKLY 5% OF REPUBLICANS
ACCORDING TO GALLUP, JOE BIDEN
SHOULD RUN WITH THAT.
>> Bill: HOW DID HE GET
ELECTED ON "I'M GOING TO BUILD A
WALL."
>> HE GOT ELECTED BY GETTING THE
SMALLEST PERCENTAGE OF VOTES
THAT YOU CAN GET.
>> HE GOT ELECTED BECAUSE
THERE'S TWO DIFFERENT KINDS OF
IMMIGRANTS, THE ONES WHO HAVE
BEEN HERE FOR YEARS AND ARE YOUR
NEIGHBORS AND EVERYONE IS IN
FAVOR OF THEM AND THE ONES
COMING TO THE BORDER THAT
THEY'VE BEEN TOLD ARE MEMBERS OF
THE CARTEL AND THEY ARE GOING TO
RRAPE YOUR CHILDREN.
WHEN YOU ABANDON THE BORDER AS A
PART OF IMMIGRATION, YOU LOSE.
YOU HAVE TO TALK ABOUT BORDER
SECURITY IN CONJUNCTION WITH
WHAT IS HAPPENING AT THE BORDER.
>> THE WAY TO SECURE THE BORDER
IT'S A LOT MORE PEOPLE PASS
THROUGH LEGALLY, LET ANYONE WHO
WANTS TO COME HERE WHO'S NOT
INFECTED WITH A COMMUNICABLE
DISEASE OR HAS A VIOLENT
CRIMINAL RECORD, LET THEM COME
THROUGH AND LET THEM WORK, LET
THEM WORK AND LIVE AND PAY TAXES
LEGALLY.
THE BAD PEOPLE WILL START COMING
IN OTHER PLACES.
>> IF THAT WAS JOE BIDEN'S
POSITION, HE WOULD BE PRESIDENT
OF THE UNITED STATES.
I'M NOT SAYING IT'S RIGHT OR
WRONG.
>> HE BEAT DONALD TRUMP PRETTY
HANDILY AND UNLIKE MOST
DEMOCRATS HE WAS VERY
PRO-IMMIGRANT BECAUSE THE
DEMOCRATIC PARTY HAS NEVER BEEN
OVERWHELMINGLY FAVORABLE TO
IMMIGRANTS.
>> HE'S PRESIDENT OF THE
UNITED STATES BY 45,000 VOTES,
NEVER FORGET THAT.
>> Bill: WHAT?
>> IF THE 45,000 VOTES HAD
SWITCHED IN THREE STATES,
DONALD TRUMP WOULD'VE BEEN
REELECTED TO.
>> Bill: THAT'S HOW HE GOT
ELECTED.
>> TURNABOUT IS FAIR PLAY.
>> Bill: THAT'S CLOSER THAN
WHAT HE WON.
>> YOU AND I HAVE HAD THIS
DISCUSSION.
IF >> Bill: IT'S ABOUT YOUR
STATE!
YOU'VE GOT TO GIVE THAT UP!
>> WE GET THREE ELECTORAL VOTES.
>> Bill: YOU GET FOUR
SENATORS, IF THE DAKOTA
TERRITORY, CALIFORNIA WITH
40 MILLION PEOPLE GETS THE SAME
NUMBER OF PEOPLE.
>> THE DAM CONSTITUTION, WANT TO
BE GOING TO DO?
>> Bill: NOW WITH THE
CONSTITUTION!
I WANT TO BRING IN A LITTLE
ECONOMICS HERE, WE JUST PASSED
THIS GIANT BILL, NICE THINGS ARE
HAPPENING HERE THAT WE ARE ALL
HAPPY ABOUT, CHILD POVERTY HAS
BEEN CUT IN HALF.
I DON'T KNOW ANYONE WHO'S FOR
CHILD POVERTY BUT LET ME GIVE
YOU THE ECONOMIC RECAP BECAUSE
PEOPLE DON'T FOLLOW.
I HEAR THE ECONOMY IS READY TO
SIZZLE AGAIN AND WE ARE GOING TO
HAVE THE ROARING '20s AGAIN --
MAY BE, OR MAYBE THE DEPRESSION
30s, I DON'T KNOW.
MARKET VALUE IS AT 32 TIMES
EARNINGS, THE NORM IS 16 TIMES,
32 TIMES WHAT A COMPANY IS
REALLY WORTH IS WHAT THE MARKET
IS VALUED AT AND THAT'S TWICE
WHAT IT NORMALLY IS.
OKAY.
FEDERAL DEBT STANDS AT 100% OF
GDP.
ONLY THE SECOND TIME SINCE
WORLD WAR II, THE FEDERAL DEBT
IS BIGGER THAN THE SIZE OF THE
ECONOMY, THE DEBT IS BIGGER THAN
THE ECONOMY ITSELF.
OKAY.
BETWEEN 1930 AND 1940 WHEN WE
HAD -- THAT'S THE DEPRESSION,
THEY SPENT 6% OF GDP ON THE
DEPRESSION.
IN RECESSIONS BETWEEN 1945 AND
2008, 1% OF GDP TO GET OUT OF
SHIT.
NOW, WE SPEND 26% OF GDP IN 12
MONTHS.
IT'S $5 TRILLION TO FIGHT THE
PANDEMIC PROBLEMS, $4 TRILLION
TO WIN WORLD WAR II, WE SPENT A
TRILLION MORE ON THIS THAN
WORLD WAR II.
MAYBE THIS WILL WORK OUT, I
DON'T KNOW.
BUT THERE SEEMS TO BE THIS NEW
IDEOLOGY BROUGHT ON BY THE
PANDEMIC THAT YOU CAN DREAM UP
ANY NUMBER.
I REMEMBER WHEN OBAMA WAS
BAILING US OUT OF THE GREAT
RECESSION AND IT WAS 780 BILLION
AND PEOPLE WERE LIKE HOLY FUCK,
HE SIGNED A PAPER FOR 780 -- AND
NOW THEY SIGN THIS LIKE IT'S THE
DINNER CHECK.
[LAUGHTER]
THOUGHTS?
>> THE FIRST THING IS THE
DEMOCRATIC PARTY SAW WHAT
HAPPENED DURING THE TRUMP YEARS.
TRUMP SPENT LIKE A DRUNKEN
SAILOR, HE GAVE AWAY BILLIONS OF
DOLLARS TO MAJOR CORPORATIONS
WHO WE BAILED OUT.
>> Bill: THE REPUBLICANS
DEFTLY PUT US IN DEBT WAY MORE
THAN THE DEMOCRATS.
>> RIGHT.
>> Bill: THEY ALWAYS DO.
AND IN THE DEMOCRATS HAVE TO PUT
IN AN REPUBLICANS ACT LIKE I
DON'T KNOW WHO SPENT ALL THIS
MONEY LIKE I BLACKOUT DRUNK.
>> THE POINT IS WHEN IS IT THE
WORKING CLASS PEOPLE, THE
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THESE PLANS
AND THE ONE THAT WAS JUST PASSED
IS I THINK IT WAS APPROPRIATELY
TARGETED TO THE LOWER QUARTILE
AND IT WILL IN FACT ENCOURAGE
ECONOMIC GROWTH AND YOU COULD
SEE ECONOMIC GROWTH THAT WOULD
HELP PAY FOR IT, I'M NOT GOING
TO SAY IT WILL PAY FOR ITSELF
BUT IT'S LIKE WHEN IS IT THE
TURN OF THE LOWER MIDDLE CLASS
TO ACTUALLY GET A BREAK FROM
GOVERNMENT INSTEAD OF SEEING IT
ALWAYS GO TO THE RICHEST?
>> I DON'T NECESSARILY DISAGREE
WITH YOU BUT IT WOULD BE GREAT
IF MOST OF THIS WAS GOING TO
DEAL WITH COVID, 5% ACCORDING TO
THE COMMITTEE FOR RESPONSIBLE
FEDERAL BUDGET, IT'S NOT GOING
TO LOWER QUARTILE PEOPLE.
IN THIS OUR EXPANDED OBAMACARE
SUBSIDIES THAT GO TO HOUSEHOLDS
MAKING 585,000.
THERE ARE CHILD TAX CREDITS THAT
MAX OUT AT HOUSEHOLDS MAKING
$400,000.
ONE OF THE BIGGEST SCAMS THAT
HAS BEEN GOING ON IN THE ENTIRE
21ST CENTURY AND I THINK IT
STARTED WITH GEORGE W. BUSH
GIVING FREE AND REDUCED PRICED
DRUGS TO SENIORS WHO ARE
WEALTHY, BACK IN MEDICARE PART
D, NOW YOU ARE SHOVELING MONEY
AT PEOPLE LIKE EVERYONE AT THIS
TABLE WHO DON'T NEED IT, WHO
HAVEN'T BEEN HURT ECONOMICALLY
BY THE PANDEMIC AND WE ARE
SAYING WE ARE HELPING THOSE POOR
KIDS.
CHECK BACK AND SEE.
>> Bill: I FEEL LIKE WE GOT TO
THIS MENTAL PLACE WHERE --
[APPLAUSE]
WE'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT HOW THE
DEBT IS OUT OF CONTROL SINCE
ROSS PEROT FOR 30 YEARS, OH, MY
GOD, THIS DEBT.
WE GOT TO A POINT WHERE IT WAS
SO OUT OF CONTROL AND TRUMP JUST
WENT FUCK AT AND HE MADE IT WAY
WORSE IN A QUICK AMOUNT OF TIME
AND I FEEL LIKE THEY ARE IN THIS
PLACE NOW WHERE IT'S LIKE --
LIKE WHEN YOU'RE AT 4:00 A.M.
AND YOU'RE DRUNK OUT OF YOUR
MIND, I MIGHT AS WELL JUST STAY
UP.
WHY TRY TO GET TO SLEEP AT ALL?
I'M JUST GOING TO TRY TO PULL
THIS OFF.
>> TWO IS TOO MANY AND FIVE IS
NOT ENOUGH.
>> Bill: IT IS APPARENTLY
FUNNY MONEY ANYWAY.
>> THE RECKONING IS GOING TO BE
BRUTAL BECAUSE THE ECONOMY IS
GROWING SOMETHING LIKE 4%
ECONOMIC GROWTH, AND IT'S GOING
TO DO WELL WITHOUT THIS.
IT'S GOING TO BE SUPE SUPERCHARD
BUT IT'S A COKE BINGE, EVEN
MARXIST ECONOMISTS AT UMASS
AMHERST SAID WHEN YOU RUN THIS
LEVEL OF DEBT WITH NO SIGN OF
STOPPING IT REDUCES LONG-TERM
ECONOMIC GROWTH AND THAT'S ONE
OF THE REASONS WHY FOR THE PAST
20 YEARS WE HAD LITTLE ECONOMIC
GROWTH.
>> Bill: SO MUCH OF THE BUDGET
IS THE PAY OFF THE DEBT, JUST A
PAID BANKERS WHO ARE LENDING YOU
THIS MONEY.
>> IF INTEREST RATES GO UP FROM
WHERE THEY ARE RIGHT NOW WHICH
IS ZERO, WE WILL SPEND -- WE MAY
EXCEED IN OUR INTEREST PAYMENTS
WHAT WE SPEND ON NATIONAL
DEFENSE.
I'M NOT DEFENDING THE DEBT, I AM
DEFENDING THAT THE
PRIORITIZATION THAT WE'VE SEEN
IN THE LAST FOUR YEARS HAS BEEN
WAY OFF THE MARK IN TERMS OF
WHAT THE AMERICAN PEOPLE NEED.
>> THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH
THIS.
>> IT DOES, TO TRY AND BALANCE
THIS AND TO SET IT RIGHT AT SOME
POINT INTO THE FUTURE.
BUT YOU'RE SAYING I'LL BAIL YOU
UP TO THE TROUGH WHEN TRUMP WAS
THERE AND NOW BIDEN HAS TO HAVE
THE POLICY OF AUSTERITY, GIVE ME
A BREAK.
>> IS NOT AUSTERITY, GIVE POOR
PEOPLE WHO ARE STRUGGLING MONEY,
LET PEOPLE WHO ARE DOING WELL
PAY THEIR OWN WAY.
>> Bill: THAT SHOULD BE THE
DEMOCRATIC POSITION.
>> I WAS NOT A FAN OF THE
$2,000, I THOUGHT THAT WASN'T
TARGETED ENOUGH, I THOUGHT WE
SHOULD HAVE BEEN MUCH MORE
CLEVER ABOUT HOW WE DID IT AND
WHERE WE MADE THE INVESTMENTS,
WE COULD HAVE DONE GREAT
INFRASTRUCTURE INVESTMENTS WITH
THAT MONEY.
I'LL GIVE YOU THAT.
BUT I'M TIRED OF PEOPLE SITTING
AROUND AND CRITICIZING DEMOCRATS
FOR TAX AND SPEND WHEN EVERY
TIME WE HAVE A REPUBLICAN
PRESIDENT, WE GO INTO THE DEBT
AND DEFICIT.
>> Bill: SOMEHOW, EVEN THOUGH
IT HAPPENS EVERY TIME, THIS
PATTERN EVERY TIME OF THE
DEMOCRATS COME IN AND CLEAN UP
THE ROOM THAT LED ZEPPELIN JUST
TRASHED AND THEN THEY ASK WHO'S
THE PARTY OF FISCAL
RESPONSIBILITY?
IT'S THE REPUBLICANS, WHAT FUCK
MOVIE ARE YOU WATCHING?
>> DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND, WE
HAVE TAPES AND WE HAVE NUMBERS
AND WE HAVE HISTORY.
>> Bill: REAGAN DID IT,
BUSH -- ALL RIGHT.
THE CHANGE THAT SUBJECT
COMPLETELY, TURNER CLASSICS, I
LIKE TURNER CLASSICS, I ONCE DID
A THING FOR THEM BUT IN THIS NEW
ERA, THEY HAD TO REFRAME THE
CLASSICS, THEY HAD TO HAVE A GUY
COME ON AT THE BEGINNING --
THERE IT IS.
I'M NOT LYING.
AND GIVE A LITTLE SPEECH ABOUT
WHY MOVIES YOU USED TO JUST
ENJOY BECAUSE YOU UNDERSTOOD
THAT TIMES CHANGE, PEOPLE CHANGE
AND MORAYS CHANGE, IT'S CALLED
EVOLUTION, BUT NOW IT'S CALLED
PROBLEMATIC.
[APPLAUSE]
IT'S SO OBVIOUS.
GONE WITH THE WIND IS ON THE
LIST, BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S, MY
FAIR LADY.
MY FAIR LADY IS TOO ROUGH FOR
THEM?
IT WAS TOO CORNY FOR ME WHEN I
WAS TEN.
MY FATHER WANTED ME TO GO SEE
IT, I WOULDN'T.
THOSE AREN'T THE ONLY MOVIES,
WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE SOME OF
THE OTHER ONES THAT THEY HAVE TO
GIVE WARNINGS TO NOW, THE
CLASSICS?
I'M SURE YOU WOULD.
THESE ARE SOME OF THE OTHER
ONES, I DON'T THINK THESE NEED
WARNINGS BUT THEY HAVE IT.
SLEEPING BEAUTY: A PRINCE KISSES
AN
UNCONSCIOUS WOMAN WITHOUT
CONSENT.
THE WIZARD OF OZ: A POWERFUL
WOMAN OF COLOR IS MURDERED BY A
RURAL WHITE GIRL.
PSYCHO: INACCURATELY PORTRAYS
THE LIVES OF THE VAST MAJORITY
OF TRANSGENDER MOTEL OWNERS.
ROSEMARY'S BABY: FAILS TO
PRESENT PLANNED PARENTHOOD AS A
VIABLE OPTION.
JAWS: PORTRAYS WHITE PEOPLE AS
VICTIMS.
WRONG!
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
THE GRADUATE: DEPICTS A
PROBLEMATIC AGE DISCREPANCY THAT
YOU CAN'T BLAME ON THE MAN.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD:
PORTRAYS IN A POSITIVE LIGHT A
POWER IMBALANCE, BETWEEN MARY A
PALESTINIAN TEENAGER AND A MORE
POWERFUL MAN.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
BRAVEHEART: WARNING: STARS MEL
GIBSON.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
I SWEAR TO GOD, I DON'T WANT TO
TALK ABOUT COUNCIL CULTURE AND
THIS NONSENSE EVERY WEEK BUT I
JUST DON'T THINK PEOPLE
UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THIS IS A
TSUNAMI AND HOW FAST THE
GOALPOSTS CHANGE COME ALMOST ON
A WEEKLY BASIS.
LITERALLY OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD
BEFORE I CAME OUT, I WROTE DOWN
THREE THINGS I COULD THINK OF.
NOT JUST WHAT YOU DO NOW, WHAT
YOU DO NOW, IT'S EVERYTHING
YOU'VE EVER DONE.
I'LL GIVE YOU EXAMPLES OF THAT.
IT'S NOT JUST WHAT YOU SAY, WHAT
YOU SAY, NOW IT'S WHAT YOU
LISTEN TO, THEY CAN GET YOU FOR
THAT.
WHAT YOU ORDER, WHO YOU SAY YOU
WOULD LIKE, SORT OF ASSOCIATION,
IF YOU RETWEET SOMETHING -- I
LIKE THIS PICTURE -- WHO WAS THE
WOMAN IN THE MAND MANDALORIAN.
>> SHE WAS A NAZI.
>> Bill: SHE IS A!
>> SHE DOES HANG WITH WHITE
SUPREMACISTS, I SUPPOSE I'M NOW
SUBJECT TO DEFAMATION.
>> Bill: IT DEPENDS WHAT YOUR
DEFINITION OF WHITE SUPREMACIST
IS, THE GOAL POST THEIR CHANGE A
LOT, IT USED TO BE A GUY IN A
CLAN HOOD.
>> I THINK WE HAVE TO BE
CAREFUL, THERE'S TWO THINGS
REPUBLICANS THINK THEY ARE GOING
TO GET BY ON, CANCEL CULTURE IN
THIS WHOLE DR. SEUSS STUFF WHERE
THEY ARE READING GREEN EGGS AND
HAM PROVING THESE CENTERS CAN
ACTUALLY READ.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
AND IMMIGRATION.
WE CAN'T IGNORE THE FACT THAT WE
GOT DONALD TRUMP IN PART BECAUE
OF POLITICAL CORRECTNESS.
WHEN PEOPLE SAY TELLS IT THE WAY
IT IS, THE GUY LIED EVERY DAY,
REPEATEDLY AND THE REASON WHY
THEY THOUGHT HE TOLD IT THE WAY
IT IS BECAUSE HE WASN'T
POLITICALLY CORRECT.
WHEN PEOPLE THINK THEY HAVE TO
PARSE EVERY WORD AND I CAN'T
THINK ABOUT THIS, THAT IS WHAT
IS GOING TO DRIVE PEOPLE CRAZY,
IT'S GOING TO FURTHER DIVIDE
CULTURALLY THIS COUNTRY.
BUT I AM SO SICK OF THE
REPUBLICANS USING THE PHRASE
"CANCEL CULTURE" TO SOMEHOW
VICTIMIZE REPUBLICAN PARTY.
>> Bill: OF COURSE THEY ARE
GOING TO.
>> PART OF THE PROBLEM AND I
REALIZE YOU ARE A RECOVERING
SENATOR BUT LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT
THIS IN TERMS OF REPUBLICANS AND
DEMOCRATS AND WHO'S GOING TO WIN
A SEAT IN THE SENATE OR THE
HOUSE, LET'S TALK ABOUT
DIFFERENT -- AND DAVID SURE YOUR
PREVIOUS GUESTS, HE WAS CANCELED
BECAUSE HE LINKED, HE TWEETED A
LINK TO A PRINCETON POLITICAL
SCIENTIST WHO HAPPENS TO BE
BLACK WHO WROTE ABOUT THE
EFFECTS OF VIOLENT VERSUS
NONVIOLENT PROTESTS IN THE
1960s ON ELECTION, DAVID SURE
GOT FIRED BECAUSE OF THAT.
THIS IS WHAT WE ARE TALKING
ABOUT.
WE NEED TO HAVE A DIFFERENT KIND
OF CONVERSATION AND IT NOT
LOOKING TO BOUNCE PEOPLE ALL THE
TIME.
>> WE'RE LOOKING FOR THE WRONG
PERPETRATOR.
YOU TAKE "TEEN VOGUE," THEY
SHOULDN'T HAVE FIRED HER, BUCK
UP.
>> Bill: PEOPLE DON'T KNOW WHO
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
>> THE YOUNG WOMAN WHO LOST HER
JOB.
>> Bill: I'VE SEEN HER MANY
TIMES ON MSNBC.
SHE'S 27.
SHE JUST GOT A GREAT JOB -- LOST
A GREAT JOB.
EDITOR OF "TEEN VOGUE" BECAUSE
SHE TWEETED IN HIGH SCHOOL, THIS
IS HIGH SCHOOL, I HAVE A LIST OF
SOME OF THE TWEETS.
SOME OF THEM "YOU BANDWAGON AND
HOMO" YOU'RE SO GAY, LEFT MY ASS
OFF.
IF CAN I SAY SOMETHING?
PEOPLE TALK SHIFT IN PRIVATE.
WE CAN'T LEGISLATE THAT AWAY, I
DON'T THINK THIS WOMAN IS A
HOMOPHOBE.
FOR FUCK SAKE.
PEOPLE TALK SHIT ABOUT EACH
OTHER IN PRIVATE.
>> I'M NOT DISPUTING THAT,
EVERYBODY IS LIKE THE PEOPLE OUT
THERE WHO ARE EXERCISING THEIR
ECONOMIC RIGHT, I'M NOT GOING TO
SUPPORT THAT PRODUCT BECAUSE I
DON'T AGREE WITH WHAT YOU STAND
FOR, THE ECONOMIC RIGHT
"TEEN VOGUE" IT SHOULD HAVE SAID
LOOK, THAT HAPPENED A LONG TIME
AGO, THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
>> Bill: HIGH SCHOOL!
>> THEY WERE SO AFRAID, IT'S
LIKE BUCK UP.
IF CORPORATE AMERICA NEEDS TO
STOP BUYING INTO THIS STUFF AND
EXCEPT.
>> Bill: SOMEBODY HAS TO HAVE
SOME BALLS.
>> CORPORATE AMERICA IS NOT
INTERESTED IN DOING THAT BUT WE
ALSO HAVE TO LOOK AT THE KIND OF
IDEOLOGY OF WOKENESS AND ALL OF
THE FIRE AND BRIMSTONE, ALL THE
DAMNATION OF CHRISTIANITY
WITHOUT ANY POSSIBILITY OF
FORGIVENESS OR SALVATION.
IT IS A WORK IDEOLOGY AND IT HAS
TAKEN THE PLACE OF RELIGION AND
MANY PEOPLE'S LIVES BECAUSE IT'S
THIS TOTAL PICTURE.
IT IS STARKLY RIGHT AND WRONG
AND IT'S DELUSIONAL.
IT NEEDS TO BE ENGAGED AT THE
CORPORATE LEVEL AND AT THE
INDIVIDUAL LEVEL, THIS IS THE
FLIP SIDE AND IF YOU HEAR PEOPLE
MAKING REALLY STUPID, SHITTY
ASIAN-AMERICAN JOKES, YOU ALSO
HAVE TO CALL OUT TO PEOPLE WHO
ARE SAYING EVERYBODY IS A RACIST
OR WHAT YOU SAID WHEN YOU WERE
IN HIGH SCHOOL DEFINES YOU.
>> IF YOU LEARNED ANYTHING FROM
THE PREVIOUS GUESTS C, THE SMALL
SLIVER OF PEOPLE ON TWITTER
CAUSING THIS TROUBLE, WOKENESS
IS NOT A BIG POLITICAL MOVEMENT.
>> IT'S BIG AND PUBLISHING BIG
IN UNIVERSITIES.
IT'S BIG IN CORPORATE AMERICA.
>> THAT'S BECAUSE THEY ARE
CHICKEN SHIT, THEY DON'T WANT TO
TAKE A RISK TO PUBLISH
SOMETHING, UNIVERSITY PRESIDENTS
ARE THE WORST, THEY DON'T WANT
ANY CONTROVERSY ON
UNIVERSITIES -- WE CAN'T HAVE
THAT PERSON, YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOUR UNIVERSITY, HE SHOULD HAVE
ALL VIEWS PRESENTED AND PROTECT
PEOPLE AND THEY COME ON YOUR
CAMPUS.
[APPLAUSE]
>> THIS IS LIKE THE
UNITED NATIONS IN THE WORLD
OUTSIDE DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT.
WE NEED TO FIGURE OUT WAYS TO
ENGAGE PEOPLE WHO ARE LIKE "I AM
HURT WHEN I HEAR SOMETHING" OR
WHEN SOMEBODY SAYS SOMETHING
THAT OFFENDS ME, THAT IS THE
EQUIVALENT OF VIOLENCE.
THIS IS PART OF THE PROBLEM.
WORDS ARE NOT THE EQUIVALENT OF
VIOLENCE AND WE NEED TO GET BACK
TO A ROBUST UNDERSTANDING.
>> I'M SAYING THE NUMBER OF
PEOPLE WHO SIT IN THAT SPACE ARE
VERY MINIMAL AND THOSE PEOPLE
ARE EXPLOITED IN THE ERA OF WE
WANT TO NOT POLITICIZE HOW YOU
FEEL KIND OF ERA.
>> YOU'RE NOT SAYING THIS IS
REPUBLICANS ARE JUST RUNNING
THIS.
>> BECAUSE I THINK IT HAPPENS ON
BOTH SIDES, THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS
IS JUST LIKE WOKENESS LIKE
WOKENESS.
>> Bill: THEY ARE SNOWFLAKES
TOO.
BUT THEY DON'T CONTROL THE MEDIA
THE WAY THESE BRATS DO.
THAT'S THE PROBLEM.
I DON'T THINK IT WAS REPUBLICAN
REPUBLICANS.
>> THERE'S NOT A LOT OF
REPUBLICANS AT "TEEN VOGUE" OR
CONDE NAST.
>> Bill: I NEVER THOUGHT I
WOULD LIVE IN AN ERA, I REMEMBER
WATCHING MOVIES ABOUT THE 50s
AND THE BLACKLIST ERA WHEN
PEOPLE WOULD WHISPER YOUR
COMMUNIST AND ALL IT TOOK WAS
SOMEONE INFORMING ON YOU AND US
SAYING THEY SAW YOU AT A RALLY
OR A PEACE MARCH AND YOU ARE
BRANDED IN YOUR CAREER WAS OVER
OR YOU WERE ON THE BLACKLIST --
PEOPLE GO TO PARTIES NOW AND
THEY DON'T WANT TO TALK, THEY
ARE LIKE CAN I TALK?
I DON'T KNOW YOUR GIRLFRIEND,
SHE MIGHT BE WOKE.
REALLY, I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP.
THIS INFORMANT THING, IT'S NOT
JUST WHAT YOU DO, IT'S WHAT YOU
DON'T REPORT.
THAT'S ANOTHER WAY THE GOALPOST
MOVED.
I WAS READING ABOUT THIS GUY
WINSTON MARSHALL, THE BANJO
PLAYER IN MUMFORD & SONS.
OKAY.
[LAUGHTER]
I REMEMBER WHEN THEY WERE A
THING FOR ABOUT THE TIME IT TOOK
TO TAKE A PISS.
HE TWEETED OUT HE LIKED A BOOK,
IT'S A BOOK CALLED "UNMASKED"
I'VE NEVER HEARD OF IT, YOU'VE
NEVER HEARD OF IT, IT'S
APPARENTLY NOT FAVORABLE TO
ANTIFA BECAUSE IT'S CRITICIZING
AND TEA FOR, OKAY, PEOPLE WRITE
BOOKS.
HE TWEETED OUT "FINALLY HAD THE
TIME TO READ YOUR IMPORTANT
BOOK, YOU'RE A BRAVE MAN" TO THE
AUTHOR.
NOW HE HAS TO STEP AWAY,
EVERYONE IS ALWAYS STEPPING AWAY
FROM THE BAND.
OH, MY GOD.
THIS IS HIS APOLOGY, SO SOVIET.
OVER THE PAST FEW DAYS, I HAVE
COME TO BETTER UNDERSTAND THE
PAIN CAUSED BY THE BOOK I
ENDORSED, WHAT?
DID YOU HIT SOMEBODY OVER THE
HEAD WITH ITS?
[LAUGHTER]
I HAVE OFFENDED NOT ONLY A LOT
OF PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW BUT ALSO
THOSE CLOSEST TO ME INCLUDING MY
BANDMATES, WHAT A BUNCH OF
PUSSIES THEY MUST BE, AND FOR
THAT I'M TRULY SORRY.
IT'S SO STALIN.
HOW ABOUT I CAN READ WHAT I
WANT, I'M A MUSICIAN, IT WON'T
HAPPEN AGAIN.
>> THIS IS ALSO CREEPING INTO
LEGISLATION.
IN TEXAS, THE GOVERNOR AND THE
SENATE ARE POISED TO PASS A LAW
THAT WOULD BASICALLY MAKE SOCIAL
CONTENT MODERATION ON
SOCIAL MEDIA ILLEGAL BECAUSE
THEY ARE SAYING RELIGIOUS PEOPLE
ARE BEING BANNED FROM TWITTER
AND FACEBOOK.
IN COLORADO, PEOPLE ARE BANNING
HATE SPEECH ON LEGISLATORS, IT
ALL CREEPS IN.
IT'S NOT SIMPLY THE PRIVATE
SECTOR AND WE ARE IN A
PEROXISOME OF A CONTRACTION OF
FREE SPEECH AND THIS IS
SOMETHING YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT
BEING A CLASSIC LIBERAL, I THINK
THIS IS SOMETHING LIBERTARIANS,
LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES CAN
ALL AGREE ON, YOU NEED FREE
SPEECH.
>> THINK ABOUT THIS.
SOUTH DAKOTA [LAUGHTER]
THE GOVERNOR CHRISTIE GNOME WAS
GOING TO SIGN A TRANSGENDER
BILL.
BY THE WAY, SAYING THEY CAN'T
PLAY IN GIRLS SPORTS, THAT'S THE
BIGGEST ISSUE EVER IN
SOUTH DAKOTA APPARENTLY, IT'S
GETTING A LOT OF ATTENTION
ACROSS THE BOARD.
GUESS WHAT?
AMAZON CAME IN AND THEY SAID WE
MIGHT NOT -- ALL OF A SUDDEN
KRISTI NOEM GETS RELIGION AND
MAYBE THAT ISN'T THE RIGHT THING
TO DO SO LET'S SEE IF SHE SIGNS
THE BILL.
THIS IS WHERE THE USE OF
ECONOMIC POWER CAN ACTUALLY BE
USED TO THE GOOD.
>> Bill: I WISH WE HAD TIME TO
TALK ABOUT THAT ISSUE, MAYBE
NEXT TIME.
THANK YOU, PANEL, TIME FOR NEW
RULES!
♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
NEW RULE: NOW THAT A NEW HBO
DOCUMENTARY CLAIMS THAT THE
FOUNDER OF QANON - Q - IS
ACTUALLY RON WATKINS, A
THIRTY-SOMETHING INCEL WHO LIVES
IN JAPAN SURROUNDED BY ANIME
COMICS AND A DOLL FOR A
GIRLFRIEND.
Q-ANON FOLLOWERS HAVE TO ADMIT
[LAUGHTER]
THEY SPENT THAT LAST TWO YEARS
WORSHIPPING SOMEONE THEY WOULD
HAVE BEAT UP IN HIGH SCHOOL.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
CONGRATULATIONS, GENIUSES, YOU
MADE A GOD OUT OF THE GRUBHUB
DELIVERY GUY.
NEW RULE: THIS COMPANY THAT
PROMISES TO DELIVER VIAGRA
"DISCREETLY TO YOUR DOOR" HAS TO
TELL ME: WHAT IS THE
ALTERNATIVE?
A MARCHING BAND FORMS INTO THE
SHAPE OF A PENIS AND SHOWS UP
OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE?
IT'S A BOX IN THE MAIL.
WHAT'S NOT DISCREET?
THE PHARMACIST AT CVS SHOUTING
AFTER YOU, "REMEMBER, IF THERE'S
ANY PROBLEMS WITH YOUR ERECTION,
CALL ME!"
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
NEW RULE: MAKE SURE YOUR
SYMBOLIC GESTURE DOESN'T JUST
CONFUSE EVERYBODY.
I'M SURE THE RED FACE PAINT OF
THESE PROTESTORS IN CHILE HAS A
DEEP MEANING, BUT I CAN'T HELP
BUT THINK OF MY GRANDMOTHER
TRYING TO PUT ON LIPSTICK IN THE
CAR.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
NEW RULE: STOP USING THE PHRASE
"PLAIN VANILLA."
VANILLA IS A FLAVOR JUST LIKE
ANY OTHER.
IT COMES FROM THE VANILLA BEAN.
YOU KNOW WHAT OTHER FLAVOR COMES
FROM A BEAN?
CHOCOLATE.
BUT YOU DON'T HEAR THE
MAINSTREAM MEDIA USING THE TERM
"PLAIN CHOCOLATE."
BUT "PLAIN VANILLA" - THAT'S
SOMEHOW OKAY.
WELL, IT ISN'T OKAY.
I'M TUCKER CARLSON.
GOOD NIGHT.
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
TRYING TO GET MY TUCKER FACE.
[LAUGHTER]
NEW RULE: SOMEONE HAS TO TELL
LEXA VOSS, WHO TEACHES
SHEEP-CUDDLING SEMINARS ON HER
FARM, IT ALL MIGHT SEEM MORE
APPEALING IF THIS SHEEP DIDN'T
HAVE A LOOK ON HER FACE THAT
SAYS "OH BOY, I KNOW WHERE THIS
IS HEADED."
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
AND FINALLY, NEW RULE.
IF YOU BELIEVE IN THE WOKE
PHILOSOPHY OF "EQUALITY OF
OUTCOMES," THEN YOU REALLY
SHOULDN'T HAVE WATCHED THE
GRAMMYS LAST SUNDAY.
BECAUSE THE GRAMMYS, ASIDE FROM
THE USUAL AWARD SHOW VIRTUE
SIGNALING, ARE STILL LARGELY
ABOUT THE IDEA THAT CERTAIN
PEOPLE DO MUSIC BETTER THAN
OTHERS, AND IT'S OKAY TO REWARD
THEM FOR IT.
THAT'S CALLED MERITOCRACY - AND
IT'S THE OPPOSITE OF GUARANTEED
OUTCOMES.
EQUALITY OF OUTCOMES?
AS OPPOSED TO EQUALITY OF
OPPORTUNITY?
WE USED TO CALL THAT BY ANOTHER
NAME: TROPHY SYNDROME.
[APPLAUSE]
A WORLD THAT WAS CREATED BACK IN
THE '90S WHERE EVERY KID GETS A
TROPHY, NO MATTER HOW GOOD OR
BAD THEY ARE AT SOMETHING.
WELL, THE RESULT OF THAT KIND OF
THINKING IS THAT AMERICAN KIDS
HAVE A TOTALLY DELUDED AND
UNEARNED BELIEF IN THEIR CHARM,
BRAINS AND TALENT.
[APPLAUSE]
IT'S NOT ONLY THAT THE ENTIRE
GENERATION WANTS TO BE FAMOUS,
IT'S THAT THEY THINK NOT BEING
FAMOUS ISN'T FAIR.
[LAUGHTER]
IF YOU THINK I'M EXAGGERATING,
LET ME QUOTE FROM THIS ARTICLE
IN ROLLING STONE LAST YEAR
LAMENTING HOW STREAMING HAS NOT
GIVEN US EQUALITY OF OUTCOMES IN
THE MUSIC INDUSTRY.
OH, THE GRAMMYS WOULD LOOK QUITE
DIFFERENT IF WE FOLLOWED THIS
TEMPLATE: THE ARTICLE TELLS US
THAT MORE THAN 1.6 MILLION
ARTISTS RELEASED SONGS BETWEEN
JANUARY 2019 AND JULY 2020 -
40,000 TRACKS A DAY ON SPOTIFY -
AND YET, ROLLING STONE COMPLAINS
"TODAY'S STREAMING LANDSCAPE
LOOKS A LOT LIKE THE MUSIC
INDUSTRY USED TO.
A SMALL CLASS OF ARTISTS.
SEE NOT JUST THE MAJORITY OF
ACTIVITY, BUT DAMN NEAR ALL OF
IT."
YES, THESE ARE CALLED THE GOOD
ONES.
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
OF COURSE, AN OCCASIONAL BIG
TALENT CAN FALL THROUGH THE
CRACKS, BUT IN GENERAL, IT'S
SIMPLY A CASE THAT MOST PEOPLE
WHO TRY THEIR HAND AT MUSIC
WRITE THE SONGS THAT DON'T MAKE
THE WHOLE WORLD SING.
[LAUGHTER]
ROLLING STONE COMPLAINS THAT
"NEARLY ALL THE STREAMS WENT TO
ARTISTS IN THE TOP TEN PERCENT
WITH THE BOTTOM 90% PULLING IN
JUST .6% OF STREAMS."
WHOA, LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT -
TALENTED ARTISTS PEOPLE LIKE ARE
LISTENED TO MORE THAN UNTALENTED
ONES THAT THEY DON'T?
[LAUGHTER]
STOP THE PRESSES.
YES, MERITOCRACY!
IF PEOPLE DON'T LIKE YOUR SONG,
YOUR MOMMY CAN'T MAKE THEM
LISTEN TO IT.
[LAUGHTER]
YOU KNOW WHY 99% OF ARTISTS
AREN'T GETTING HEARD?
BECAUSE MUSIC IS HARD AND MOST
PEOPLE SUCK AT IT.
FOR MORE DETAILS, GOOGLE
"REALITY."
ROLLING STONE ACTUALLY WRITES
THE SENTENCE "IN A PERFECT
WORLD, THE BOTTOM ONE PERCENT OF
ARTISTS WOULD GET ONE PERCENT OF
ACTIVITY."
NO, THEY WOULDN'T, THAT'S A
STUPID WORLD I DON'T WANT TO
LIVE IN - WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS
NONSENSE?
AND WHEN YOU WHINE THAT
"STREAMING HASN'T JUST UPHELD
THE GAP BETWEEN MUSIC'S HAVES
AND HAVE-NOTS, IT'S WIDENED IT,"
YOU'RE MAKING MY CASE FOR ME,
BECAUSE STREAMING ALLOWS THE
PUBLIC TO SAMPLE EVERYBODY -
THERE'S NO MORE GATEKEEPERS, YOU
CAN'T COMPLAIN NO ONE HEARD YOUR
SONG BECAUSE NO LABEL WOULD SIGN
YOU.
WE TORE THAT WALL DOWN, AND THE
RESULT WAS THE SAME: SOME
MUSICIANS ARE HAVE NOTS BECAUSE,
YES, THEY MAY HAVE A VOICE, BUT
WE HAVE EARS.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
IT REMINDS ME OF THE EARLY
AUDITION ROUNDS OF THE OLD
AMERICAN IDOL WHERE CONTESTANTS
ARE ALL ATTITUDE AND IMAGE, AS
IF TO SAY, "CAN WE NOT FOCUS SO
MUCH ON THE TALENT AND JUST SKIP
TO THE PART WHERE I'M AN IDOL?"
72% OF GEN Z SAY THEY'D LIKE TO
BE AN ONLINE CELEBRITY, AND 54%
OF GEN Z AND MILLENNIALS SAY
THEY WOULD BECOME AN INFLUENCER
"GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY."
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
YOU KNOW, IF IT WASN'T TOO MUCH
WORK, LIKE MAKING A SEX TAPE.
SPEAKING OF WHICH PARIS HILTON
JUST MADE A RETURN TO THE
[LAUGHTER]
JUST MADE A RETURN TO THE
LIMELIGHT, REVEALING THAT THE
DITZY PARTY GIRL WE KNEW BACK IN
THE DAY WAS JUST HER PLAYING "A
CHARACTER," AND THAT THERE WAS
REALLY MORE TO HER THAN SEX
TAPES DRIVING DRUNK CARRYING
AROUND A LITTLE DOG AND SAYING
"THAT'S HOT."
I MEAN, WHAT ABOUT HER WORK ON
THE HUMAN GENOME PROJECT?
[LAUGHTER]
YOU KNOW WHAT?
ANY JOKES I DID ABOUT PARIS - I
DON'T FEEL BAD.
SORRY, NOT SORRY.
I JUST CAN'T - I CAN'T BE LIVING
IN THIS TIME WHEN WE'RE MADLY ON
THE HUNT FOR ANYTHING WITH THE
SLIGHTEST WHIFF OF WHITE
PRIVILEGE AND THEN FEEL BAD FOR
PARIS HILTON.
QUITE THE REVERSE, MAYBE PARIS
IS THE ONE WHO OWES US AN
APOLOGY
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
FOR BEING PATIENT ZERO
FOR TODAY'S VAPID, ENTITLED
FAMOUS-FOR NOTHING CULTURE.
SHE KIND OF BIRTHED THE WORLD
WHERE EVERY 15-YEAR-OLD WITH A
PHONE ASPIRES TO BE AN
"INFLUENCER" - SHE'S THE FACE
THAT LAUNCHED A THOUSAND LITTLE
SHITS.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
PARIS LED DIRECTLY TO THE
KARDASHIANS, AND THEN TO
HOUSEWIVES AND TEEN MOMS AND
AND SNARKY
A GENERATION
OF YOUNG GIRLS WHO LOOK UP TO
THE "ROLE MODELS" WHO MANAGED TO
TURN AN UNENTHUSIASTIC BLOWJOB
INTO AN EMPIRE.
YOUNG PEOPLE WHO THINK, "TALENT?
MY TALENT IS BEING ME, AND YOU
WANTING TO LIVE MY LIFE."
KYLIE JENNER IS A BILLIONAIRE
BASED ON HER ABILITY TO SIT NEAR
A POOL - WHY CAN'T I DO THAT?
FOR THE GENERATIONS WHO ARE
ALWAYS ON ABOUT "THIS IS MY
VOICE!"
AND "I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!"
AN AWFUL LOT OF THAT SOMETHING
IS ABOUT LIP GLOSS.
OKAY, THAT'S OUR SHOW.
I WANT TO THANK MY GUESTS NICK
GILLESPIE, HEIDI HEITKAMP AND
DAVID SHOR.
YOU'RE A GREAT CROWD, I
THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!
ONE MORE WEEK, MAYBE ONE MORE
WEEK.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪