♪ ♪
>> START THE CLOCK.
♪ ♪
>> Bill: HOW ARE YOU DOING?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, I APPRECIATE THAT.
THANK YOU.
I APPRECIATE THAT, THAT IS REAL
AMERICAN ENTHUSIASM, YOU CAN'T
DEVELOP THAT IN A CHINESE LAB.
[LAUGHTER]
LOOK, I'M JUST GLAD THEY LET ME
BE HERE BECAUSE THIS WEEK I
TESTED POSITIVE FOR SPRING FEVE
FEVER.
HEY, EVERYBODY'S GOT IT BECAUSE
THE NATION IS OPENING UP AGAIN!
I LOVE THIS, WE ARE STILL GIVING
PEOPLE A LOLLIPOP WHEN THEY GET
THE SHOT.
YOU KNOW, ALL THIS FREE SHIT,
SUPER BOWL TICKETS, WE GET TRIPS
AND CASH AND PRIZES.
BUDWEISER SAYS IF BIDEN'S
VACCINE GOALS ARE MET BY
INDEPENDENCE DAY JULY 4TH, FREE
BEER FOR EVERYBODY.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
WHICH I THINK IS GREAT BECAUSE
WHEN YOU'RE OUT IN THE SUN ON
THE FOURTH OF JULY IT'S
IMPORTANT TO DRINK WATER.
[LAUGHTER]
I KID TO COME UP BUDWEISER, IT'S
A FINE PRODUCT IF YOU LIKE BEER
WHICH I DON'T.
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS?
THE UFOs, I LOVE THIS, THIS
STORY IS OBSESSING ME, HAVE YOU
BEEN FOLLOWING THIS?
THIS HAS CHANGED, MY WHOLE LIFE,
NOW THERE'S TOO MANY NAVY PILOTS
WHO SAY, NO, WE SEE THINGS WE
CAN'T EXPLAIN SO THEY SAID
THEY'RE GOING TO LOOK INTO IT
EVEN 60 MINUTES LOOKED INTO IT.
THEY CAME BACK WITH A REPORT AND
CAN'T RULE OUT THAT IT'S ALIENS.
THEY SAY WE DON'T KNOW IT IF IT
IS BUT WE CAN'T RULE IT OUT IF
IT'S NOT AND IT'S A CATEGORY OF
UNEXPLAINED PHENOMENA.
BIGFOOT, THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE,
AND BRITNEY SPEARS APPEAL TO GAY
MEN.
THAT'S WHERE WE ARE WITH THAT
ONE.
[APPLAUSE]
WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TO WORRY
ABOUT.
SPEAKING ABOUT THAT, GAY
PRIDE MONTH AND I KNOW THAT'S
WHY -- OH, WOW, AND ENTIRE THE
ENTIRE GAY AUDIENCE.
THAT'S FANTASTIC!
LOOK, WHETHER YOU ARE LGBTQ OR I
THAT'S INTERSEX, OR, THAT'S A
SEXUAL, OR P/E, THAT'S
PANSEXUAL, OR NONBINARY, "GQ,"
GENDER.
THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THANK YOU
FOR COMING.
NO, BUT I MEAN, NO MATTER WHAT
YOU ARE YOU'VE GOT TO BE
IMPRESSED HOW FAR THE ISSUE HAS
COME.
I MEAN, THE PRESIDENT OF THE
UNITED STATES BE TEN ISSUED A
STIRRING PROCLAMATION OF
SUPPORT.
THAT DIDN'T USE TO HAPPEN AND OF
COURSE BIDEN, THIS ISN'T REALLY
HIS GENERATION, HE DOESN'T QUITE
GET THERE -- HE TRIED A LITTLE
TOO HARD TO PANDER AS ME MYSELF
AND IRENE.
WHICH IS NOT.
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THEY ALSO NOTED GAY PRIDE MONTH
IN THE SENATE, LINDSEY GRAHAM
SAID WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME
FOR?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
ALL, FORMER GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEE
DONALD TRUMP IS IN THE NEWS
NEWS.
[LAUGHTER]
LITTLE SLOW TONIGHT BUT THEY ARE
GETTING THERE.
GET THEM A LITTLE COFFEE AND
THEY'LL COME AROUND.
BUT FIRST THEY SHUT DOWN HIS
BLOG WHICH HAD BEEN UP FOR A
MONTH IT WAS AN EMBARRASSMENT
BECAUSE NO ONE WAS INTERESTED IN
READING IT.
IT HAD FEWER VISITORS IN THE
WUHAN BUFFET, NOBODY WENT TO THE
SITE.
IN CA, THAT'S ALL YOU GOT TO DO.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
AND OF COURSE NOW THE DASH OH,
HE'S LOSING HIS POWER, NO.
THAT'S NOT WHAT IT IS.
HIS FANS AREN'T READERS.
[LAUGHTER]
HE'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
HE IS MORE POWERFUL THAN EVER.
HE'S TELLING -- THIS IS THE BIG
STORY THIS WEEK, HE'S TELLING
FRIENDS THAT HE WILL BE
REINSTATED IN AUGUST.
[LAUGHTER]
REALLY?
BECAUSE HE FOLLOWS THIS
NAUGHTINESS THAT'S GOING ON FOR
REAL IN MANY STATES LIKE ARIZONA
IS STILL RECOUNTING THE BALLOTS
FROM THE ELECTION.
A PROCESS THAT INVOLVES ADDING.
I'M NOT SURE WE ARE READY FOR
SPACE FORCE.
[APPLAUSE]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT -- THAT'S
NOT WHAT AMERICANS ARE WORRIED
ABOUT.
THEY'RE WORRIED ABOUT THEIR MEA
MEAT.
I'M JUST REPORTING IT -- RIGHT,
AMERICANS, FIRST THE PRICES WENT
WAY UP.
LIKE A MONTH AGO.
IT STAYED UP A AND I NOTICED
7-ELEVEN IS NOW SELLING EVEN
SLIMMER GEMS.
THIS WEEK, RUSSIAN HACKERS HAD
GPS ONE OF THE BIGGEST MEAT
PACKING, MEAT SELLING WHATEVER,
LIKE A LOT OF THE MEAT DIDN'T --
I TELL YOU SOMETHING, RUSSIANS.
GO AFTER THE ELECTIONS, NUCLEAR
PLANTS, ELECTRIC GRID TO COME I
DON'T FUCK WITH THE MEAT.
PEOPLE WILL GO NUTS.
IN THIS, THIS HAPPENED AFTER
LAST MONTH WHEN HACKERS YOU SAW
THAT THEY SHUT DOWN THE COLONIAL
GAS PIPELINE WITH HALF THE GAS
TO THE EAST COAST, NO MEAT, NO
GAS.
IT'S LIKE A WAR ON CHIPOTLE.
ALL RIGHT, WE'VE GOT A GREAT
SHOW.
WE HAVE CHRIS MATTHEWS AND
JOHN KASICH BUT FIRST UP HE IS
THE DEMOCRATIC CONGRESSMAN
REPRESENTING NEW
YORK'S 15TH DISTRICT WHO AT 25
YEARS OLD, BECAUSE NEW YORK
CITY'S YOUNGEST ELECTED OFFICIAL
AND THE FIRST AFRO-LATINO, LGBTQ
MEMBER OF CONGRESS.
PLEASE WELCOME REPRESENTATIVE
RITCHIE TORRES!
HEY!
HOW ARE YOU, SIR?
>> GOOD TO SEAL.
GREAT TO SEE YOU.
I RECOGNIZE YOU.
>> Bill: ALL RIGHT, I'M VERY
IMPRESSED WITH YOU I MUST SAY
NOT BECAUSE OF YOUR IMPRESSIVE
REGIMEN BUT YOU DO THINGS THAT
TAKE A LOT OF GUTS BECAUSE
POLITICIANS ARE USUALLY
POLITICAL LIKE YOU SAY -- YOUR
GOAL IS TO BE THE CHAMPION OF
THE POOR.
POLITICIANS NEVER TALK ABOUT THE
POOR.
IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT THEM WORKING
FOR THE MIDDLE CLASS WOULD YOU
REPRESENT A RATHER POOR DISTRICT
ECONOMICALLY.
IS THAT RIGHT?
YOU GOT THEM OUT TO VOTE.
THROUGH YOU.
SO, WHAT YOU MAKE OF THAT WERE
POLITICIANS -- IS THAT JUST IT
BECAUSE THEY DON'T VOTE IN THE
NUMBERS THE MIDDLE CLASS DOES?
>> POOR PEOPLE HAVE NO PACKS OR
SUPER PACs.
FOR ME, IT'S DEEPLY PERSONAL AND
MY LIFE HAS BEEN THE JOURNEY
FROM POVERTY IN THE BRONX TO THE
HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES IN
WASHINGTON, D.C., AND I'M A
PRODUCT OF PUBLIC INVESTMENTS
LIKE PUBLIC SCHOOLS AND PUBLIC
HOUSING, PUBLIC TRANSMIT, PUBLIC
EDUCATION AND I WOULDN'T BE IF
IT WEREN'T FOR THE PUBLIC
INVESTMENTS AND THE OPPORTUNITY
AND STABILITY IT GAVE MY FAMILY.
IN THE CENTRAL MISSION OF MY
LIFE IS TO FIGHT FOR THE POOR
AND TO FIGHT FOR THE SOCIAL
SAFETY.
>> Bill: HOW IS BIDEN DOING
WITH THAT?
HOW IS BIDEN DOING WITH THAT?
I KNOW HE'S PAST A LOT OF THINGS
THE CHILD TAX CREDIT IS THAT NOT
DEPOSIT MONEY RIGHT IN THE BANK
ACCOUNT OF EVERYBODY WHO HAS
KIDS AND MAKES I THINK IT'S UP
TO $150,000?
THAT SEEMS A LITTLE HIGH.
>> NOT IN NEW YORK CITY.
THE RENT IS TOO DAMN HIGH PURITY
>> Bill: GIVING MONEY TO
PEOPLE WITH KIDS WITH A HUNDRED
$50,000?
>> DISPROPORTIONATELY BENEFITING
THOSE IN GREATEST NEED.
IT EXPANDED THE CHILD TAX CREDIT
FOR A YEAR AND THE PRESENT
PROPOSING AN EXPANSION UNTIL
2025.
I'M ADVOCATING FOR A PERMANENT
EXPANSION BECAUSE I BELIEVE A
PERMANENT CHILD TRACK MY TAX
CREDIT WITH
SOCIAL SECURITY HAS BEEN TO
SENIOR CITIZENS.
IT COULD BE PART OF THE AMERICAN
SOCIAL SAFETY NET AND LIKE FDR
NEVER PUT AN EXPIRATION DATE ON
SOCIAL SECURITY, WHY SHOULD WE
PUT AN EXPIRATION DATE ON A
PERMANENT CHILD TAX CREDIT?
WHICH IS ESSENTIALLY
SOCIAL SECURITY FOR THE CHILDRE
CHILDREN.
>> Bill: THE IDEA OF A
UNIVERSAL BASIC INCOME,
ANDREW YANG WAS RUNNING FOR
MAYOR IN NEW YORK HE MADE IT A
BIG ISSUE AND THAT WAS HIS
SIGNATURE ISSUE.
PEOPLE TALK ABOUT IT A LOT MORE
AND I THINK PEOPLE REALIZE EVEN
RICHARD NIXON WAS FOR ITS WAY
BACK --
>> WHEN REPUBLICANS WERE SAYING.
>> Bill: EVEN LIBERAL
SOMETIMES.
>> PREMARCH.
>> Bill: OH.
PRESARAH PALIN.
PREA LOT.
GOOD OLD DAYS.
INSANITY.
BUT THE IDEA THAT IT'S ACTUALLY
CHEAPER AND MORE EFFICIENT THAN
THE WAY WE DO WELFARE NOW.
IT IS WELFARE, OF COURSE BUT
INSTEAD OF SLICING AND DICING
BETWEEN DIFFERENT MARRIED PEOPLE
IN SINGLE PEOPLE, OLD PEOPLE,
YOUNG PEOPLE, JUST ONE BASIC
INCOME IS THAT WHERE YOU ARE?
>> I THINK WE ARE AS CLOSE AS
WE'VE EVER BEEN TO SECURING.
AND WE HAVE SOCIAL SECURITY FOR
SENIOR CITIZENS, THE CHILD TAX
CREDIT FOR FAMILIES WITH
CHILDREN IN THE BEST WAY TO END
POVERTY IN AMERICA TO STIMULATE
THE ECONOMY IS TO PUT MONEY IN
THE POCKETS OF PEOPLE IN NEED.
PEOPLE IN DISTRICTS LIKE MINE
ARE GOING TO SPEND THOSE DOLLARS
HOPEFULLY WHICH WOULD NOT ONLY
CREATE INCOME FOR BUSINESSES BUT
FOR THE WORKERS EMPLOYED BY THE
BUSINESSES.
NOT ONLY GOOD MORALS BUT ALSO
GOOD ECONOMICS.
[APPLAUSE]
>> Bill: SO, AS THE FIRST AFRO
LATINO, YOUR WORDS, THAT THE
RIGHTS AND?
>> AFRO LATINO, AFRO LATINX.
INTERSECTING IDENTITIES.
>> Bill: I KNOW THE WORDS.
>> I'VE TO PAY MORE DUES TO
CONGRESS BECAUSE OF MY
IDENTITIES.
>> Bill: EASY TO GET THE WORDS
WRONG.
>> LESS EXPENSIVE TO BE A WHITE
MAIL IN CONGRESS, I CAN TELL
YOU.
>> Bill: INTERESTING.
BUT YOU CAN BE INSUFFERABLY WOKE
AND I THINK YOU ARE JUST
PERFECTLY INSANE.
AND AN OLD-SCHOOL LIBERAL.
YOU KNOW.
[APPLAUSE]
LIKE YOU, YOU WANT POLICE REFORM
AS I THINK EVERYBODY KNOWS THERE
NEEDS TO BE SOME BUT YOU'RE NOT
FOR DEFUNDING THE POLICE WHICH A
LOT OF YOUR PARTY TALK ABOUT
ABOLISHING THE POLICE.
THAT'S NOT WHERE YOU ARE.
>> PART OF THE REASON IS BECAUSE
McAULEY'S DROPOUT IN GEORGE
ORWELL SAID THAT THERE IS ONLY
SOME IDEAS THAT ARE SO STUPID
THAT ONLY INTELLECTUALS CAN
BELIEVE THEM.
I'M AN ORGANIZER WITH MY FEET
PLANTED IN THE GROUND AND I
RECOGNIZE THE PEOPLE IN THE
SOUTH BRONX.
THE PEOPLE IN THE SOUTH BRONX
LIKE MOST RANK-AND-FILE
DEMOCRATS ARE PRACTICAL NOT
IDEOLOGICAL AND WANT TO FOCUS ON
THE BREAD-AND-BUTTER ISSUES OF
HEALTH AND HOUSING, SCHOOLS AND
JOBS AND THAT'S WHERE MY FOCUS
LIES.
>> Bill: AND THE POLICE?
>> PEOPLE WANT IS TRANSPARENT
AND ACCOUNTABLE AND
CONSTITUTIONAL POLICING.
THE CENTRAL CHALLENGE AFFECTING
AMERICAN POLICING IS A LACK OF
ACCOUNTABILITY.
RARELY HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR
ABUSING THEIR POWER AND PART OF
THE PROBLEM IS CULTURE, THE BLUE
WALL OF SILENCE.
PART OF THE PROBLEM IS THE
DOCTRINE OF QUALIFIED IMMUNITY
AND IT'S BECOME A LICENSE FOR
POLICE OFFICERS TO ABUSE THEIR
POWER WITH IMPUNITY WHICH IS WHY
SUPPORT THE GEORGE FLOYD JUSTICE
WHICH WOULD ABOLISH THE
DOCTRINE.
>> Bill: OKAY.
THE OTHER WAY I THINK YOU'VE
BEEN INCREDIBLY GUTSY IS ISRAEL.
IT'S INTERESTING TALKING ABOUT
THE POLICE, SOMEHOW THE ISRAELI
WAR THAT WE JUST HAD GOT
CONFLATED ON SOCIAL MEDIA AMONG
THE WOKE WHO ARE PEOPLE ACTUALLY
FELL ASLEEP DURING HISTORY CLAS
CLASS.
WITH OUR RACIAL PROBLEMS HERE IN
AMERICA, I JUST WANT TO SAY KIDS
WHAT'S GOING ON IN ISRAEL HAS
NOTHING TO DO WITH GEORGE FLOYD,
NOT ABOUT RACISM LESS THAN THEY
WOULD KNOW THIS, LESS THAN HALF
OF ISRAELIS ARE WHITE.
THE REASON WHY THEY ARE BOMBING
BUILDINGS IS NOT TO BECAUSE THEY
ARE RACISTS, IT IS BECAUSE THERE
IS ROCKET LAUNCHERS IN THE
BUILDINGS.
I THINK YOU ARE THE ONLY
DEMOCRAT WHO HAS BEEN
FORTHRIGHTLY STANDING WITH THE
COUNTRY THAT SEEMS TO BE MORE
ALIGNED WITH OUR LIBERAL VALUES.
>> YOU KNOW, FOR ME, THE
PROGRESSIVE POSITION IS THE
COEXISTENCE OF A JEWISH STATE IN
A PALESTINIAN STATE, NOT THE
EXCLUSION EXISTENCE OF ONE TO
THE EXCLUSION OF OTHERS.
FOR ME, THERE IS A DIFFERENCE --
[APPLAUSE]
THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
PROMOTING PEACE AND INCITING
HATRED.
IN MOST OF THE WORDS AND IDEAS
AND MEMES I'VE SEEN AMPLIFIED ON
TWITTER ARE AIMED AT INCITING
HATRED FOR ISRAEL RATHER THAN
PROMOTING PEACE BETWEEN THE
ISRAELIS AND THE PALESTINIANS.
MY CONCERN IS THAT THE
HYSTERICAL DEMONIZATION OF
ISRAEL HAS SET OFF A GLOBAL WAY
OF ANTI-SEMITIC VIOLENCE AND
VITRIOL AND HATES NEVER GOING TO
BRING US PEACE.
IT WILL ONLY BRING MORE VIOLENCE
AND THAT'S MY BASIC CONCERN.
[APPLAUSE]
>> Bill: WRITES, --
>> TO YOUR POINT, THERE IS A
WRITER, MATTIE FRIEDMAN WHO
WARNS AGAINST THE DANGER OF
AMERICANIZING THE
ISRAELI-PALESTINIAN CONCEPT OF
MY CONFLICT.
IF WE THINK WE ARE THE CENTER OF
THE UNIVERSE AND TEND TO APPLY
UN-AMERICAN PERSPECTIVE WHERE
DOESN'T BELONG.
THIS IS NOT A BLACK AND WHITE
CONFLICT AS YOU SAY AS YOU SAID
20% OF THE POPULATION CONSIST OF
ISRAELI-PALESTINIAN'S AND FROM
THE MIDDLE EAST, WHO ARE SPANISH
JEWS, THIS IS NOT A
BLACK-AND-WHITE CONFLICT.
>> Bill: ONLY ABOUT 44% OF THE
ISRAELIS LOOK LIKE YOUR DENTIST.
[LAUGHTER]
>> BUT WE HAVE TO BE CAREFUL NOT
TO REDUCE EVERYTHING TO END OF
OUR OVERARCHING NARRATIVE THAT Y
CONFLICT HAS ITS OWN HISTORY,
ITS OWN PARTICULARITY, ITS OWN
COMPLEXITY AND NONE OF THAT
SHOULD BE AT WAR IN FAVOR OF THE
OVERARCHING IDEOLOGY THAT
PURPORTS TO EXPLAIN.
>> Bill: WHAT BOTHERED ME SO
MUCH ABOUT IT, AMONG OTHER
THINGS, IS THAT IT SEEM LIKE THE
PROGRESSIVES ARE THE PEOPLE WHO
THINK THEY ARE PROGRESSIVE, HAVE
ALIGNED THEMSELVES WITH THE
POLICE GAZA, THE WORLD BETWEEN
ISRAEL AND PALESTINIAN, GAZA IS
A THEOCRATIC STATE.
THEY HAVE NO DEMOCRACY, HAVEN'T
HAD AN ELECTION SINCE 2006, THEY
WILL NEVER GIVE UP POWER AND
THEY RUN LIKE A MAFIA.
IT'S KIND OF A THUG-AUTOCRACY.
WOMEN ARE TRE THE MIKE MORRIS LN
PORN
I THINK WE ARE ON THE SAME.
I WONDER WHAT YOUR THOUGHTS ARE
AND WHY HOW PROGRESSIVES, THEY
HAVE HONOR KILLINGS THERE.
HOW COULD PROGRESSIVES HAVE
GOTTEN INTO THEIR HEAD NODS IN
RECENT HISTORY, BUT THE LAST 15
OR 20 YEARS WE HAVE SEEN THIS
WITH THESE KINDS OF VALUES
THAT ARE NOT LIBERAL VALUES.
>> IT'S IT INEXPLICABLE TO ME
THAT ISRAEL IS HELD TO AND I
ASKED PEOPLE, ASK YOURSELF A
SIMPLE QUESTION IF YOU AND YOUR
NEIGHBORS WERE THE TARGETS OF
4,000 ROCKETS WILL BE EXPECTED
GOVERNMENT TO DO?
WOULD YOU EXPECT THE GOVERNMENT
TO DO NOTHING?
HAVING SAID THAT, ONCE
HOSTILITIES BREAKOUTS, IT IS
CRITICAL FOR A THIRD PARTY LIKE
THE UNITED STATES TO IMMEDIATELY
INTERVENE AND NEGOTIATE AND
CEASE FIRE A AN END THE BLOODSH.
IT LIKE YOU SAID PREVIOUSLY,
THERE IS NO WINNERS IN WAR AND
EVERYBODY LOSES AMONG THE
WRETCHEDNESS OF WAR BUT I FEEL
LIKE I'M SURREAL IS HELD TO A
DOUBLE STAND IN AND THERE'S AN
UNDERCURRENT OF ANTI-SEMITISM IN
THE DISPROPORTIONATE SCRUTINY OF
ISRAEL.
>> Bill: CONGRESSMAN, I
APPRECIATE YOUR GUTS.
I HOPE YOU COME BACK AND VISIT
US SOON.
AS HE WAS SENT UP THE LADDER IN
POLITICS WHICH I KNOW YOU WILL.
THANK YOU.
LET'S MEET OUR PANEL.
HEY!
HEY, GUYS.
OKAY.
WASH BACK
HE WAS THE HOST OF MSNBC'S
"HARDBALL" FOR 20 YEARS AND HIS
NEW BOOK IS CALLED
"THIS COUNTRY: MY LIFE IN
POLITICS AND HISTORY."
CHRIS MATTHEWS.
HE IS OVER HERE.
HE'S THE FORMER GOVERNOR OF OHIO
WHO IS NOW SENIOR COMMENTATOR
FOR CNN.
YOU KNOW JOHN KASICH!
OKAY, JOHN!
GOOD TO HAVE YOU GUYS HERE.
IT'S LIKE AN OLD-SCHOOL HARDBALL
EPISODE, IS IN THERE?
I MUST START WITH MIKE PENCE
TODAY CAME OUT OF HIDING AND HE
SAID HE STILL SUPPORTS TRUMP.
AND HE WON'T "LET THE MEDIA USE
ONE TRAGIC DAY TO DISCREDIT THE
ASPIRATIONS OF MILLIONS OF
AMERICANS WHICH WERE TO KILL
HIM.
THOSE QUOTE [LAUGHTER]
I CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP.
HE SAID HE AND TRUMP WILL NEVER
SEE EYE TO EYE ON THE CAPITAL
RIOTS ON JANUARY 6TH WHICH IS
THAT HAPPENS TO ALL OF US.
YOU KNOW.
YOU ARE FRIENDS WITH SOMEBODY
BUT THERE'S THIS LINGERING
AWKWARDNESS BECAUSE THEY WANTED
TO KILL YOU BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T
HELP THEM OVERTHROW THE
GOVERNMENT.
SO, I --
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
SIN TRUMP HAS SORT OF WENT AWAY,
BUT I DON'T LIKE YOU WENT AWAY
REALLY, A LOT OF PEOPLE
HAVE SAID ONCE HE'S GONE BY THEN
SAID IT TOO, ONCE HE'S GONE YOU
WILL SEE THE REPUBLICANS CHANGE
BACK AND IT HASN'T HAPPENED.
JOHN, YOU SAID THAT THERE IS A
FEVER AND THE REPUBLICAN PARTY
AND IT WOULD BREAK.
IT'S NOT A FEVER, IT'S A TUMOR.
FEVERS BREAK, THIS JUST SEEMS TO
BE GETTING WORSE.
>> YEAH, I THINK I'M A BILL,
IT'S NOT GOING TO GET BETTER
UNTIL WE HAVE A NOMINEE FOR
PRESIDENT AND THEN WE HAVE TO
SEE WHETHER OR NOT THEY WILL
HAVE A NORMAL AGENDA.
BELIEVE IT OR NOT I THINK IT IS
LIKELY.
I THINK CHRIS MIGHT AGREE THAT
THE REPUBLICANS COULD ACTUALLY
WIN BACK THE HOUSE WITH NO
AGENDA WHATSOEVER.
RELYING ON THINGS LIKE ATTACKING
THE DEMOCRATS FOR DISMISSING
MR. POTATO HEAD AND STUPID
THINGS LIKE THAT.
IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
IF THERE IS NO PLAN ON
PRESCRIPTION GLOVES, NO PLAN ON
WHAT WE DO WITH ENTITLEMENTS, NO
PLAN ON WHAT WE DO WITH
IMMIGRATION, THERE IS NO PLANS
AT ALL AND THEY'RE USING
CULTURAL ISSUES TO TRY TO WIN
BACK THE MAJORITY BECAUSE IT'S
ALL ABOUT POWER.
WASHINGTON NOW IS ABOUT POWER
AND I WANT TO BE IN AND I WANT
YOU OUT AND IT'S A TRAGEDY.
IT HAS TO FIX ITSELF OR THE
PARTY I THINK OVER TIME WILL
BEGIN TO DISAPPEAR.
>> Bill: CULTURAL ISSUES, THAT
WAS 10 OR 20 YEARS AGO, THEY EAT
BABIES AND THAT'S A CULTURAL
ISSUE?
THAT'S WHERE THEY ARE.
THIS IS WHY NOTHING CAN GET
DONE.
WHY WE ARE STUCK.
I MEAN, BIDEN WANTS AN
INFRASTRUCTURE BILL, HE KEEPS
LOWERING THE NUMBER, IT WAS
1.7 TRILLION -- OR 2.3 TRILLION,
NO 1.7 TRILLION NOW AND EVEN
TRILLION, IT'S LIKE I'M A
CHARMING HE THINKS IT IS ABOUT
MONEY.
HTHEY THINK HE'S A SATANIC
PEDOPHILE.
>> I DIDN'T SUPPORT DONALD TRUMP
FROM THE BEGINNING AND I'VE BEEN
AGAINST HIM ALL ALONG.
I'VE BEEN VERY CLEAR AND IN WHAT
I THINK REPUBLICANS ARE NOT
DOING AND WHAT THEY OUGHT TO BE
DOING AND THEY HAVE NO AGENDA.
IT IS A TRAGEDY.
>> Bill: WHEN SHOULD DEMOCRATS
BE DOING?
CHRIS, YOU'RE A DEMOCRAT.
IF BIDEN SAID MEMORIAL DAY
DEMOCRACY ITSELF IS IMPERILED.
WE ARE DOING WHAT'S?
>> IT IS IMPERILED.
THIS IS REAL AND IT'S INVASIVE
OF A BODY STATURE LIKE A GUY
LIKE MIKE PENCE, WHAT HAPPENED?
THEY DON'T SPEAK ABOUT LOGIC.
REALPOLITIK STATE FIGHT OVER
INFRASTRUCTURE ON THE HILL AND
WHAT I DO IS CALL THE CHIEF
ENGINEER, THE LOCAL REPUBLICAN
LEADER AND AS COMPANY BRIDGES
ARE BELOW SAFETY CODE.
I WANT THE LIST.
BEFORE THE HOUSE THEY GO AND
LIST THE DANGEROUS BRIDGES IN
THE REPUBLICAN LEADERS DISTRICT
AND THE SCHOOL BUS GOES OVER WHO
KNOWS OF THE SCHOOL BUS WILL
MAKE IT.
THOSE KIND OF ARGUMENT SEEMS TO
BE A GOOD AGGRESSIVE DEMOCRATIC
AND REPUBLICAN POLITICS, YOU
TAKE THE FIGHT TO THE ENEMY AND
YOU TAKE IT TO HIS OWN TURF AND
YOU BEAT HIM ON IT AND SCARE THE
HELL OUT OF HIM.
I DON'T THINK THE CROWD CARES.
I THINK YOU GET A HOTEL IN THE
DISTRICT, THEY PULL OUT A SAFETY
CODE IN EVERY THING IS FALLING
APART, IT'S ALL GOING TO, AND I
GO, OH, YEAH, I'M WITH
DONALD TRUMP.
>> Bill: EXACTLY.
>> BILL, I WAS CHAIRMAN OF THE
BUDGET COMMITTEE.
NEGOTIATED WITH THE CLINTON
ADMINISTRATION TO GET US TO A
BALANCED BUDGET AND WAS A
DIFFERENT TIME BUT TODAY, WE ARE
ALL IN TRIBES AND THERE'S TWO
PARTIES AND TRIBAL POLITICS.
YOU KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING IN THE
COUNTRY?
WE LIVE IN AND I CULTURE TODAY,
IT'S ALL ABOUT ME, IT'S ALL
ABOUT WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME AND NO
LONGER ABOUT A WEEK CULTURE
WHERE WE HAVE TO BE CONCERNED
ABOUT EVERYBODY WHO IS THE
AUDIENCE.
WE HAVE TO BE THINKING ABOUT
WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON AND
MAYBE THEY ARE RIGHT.
POLITICS IS ABOUT IMPROVING THE
LIFE OF OTHER PEOPLE.
IF YOU ARE NOT DEDICATED TO
THAT, YOU SHOULDN'T BE IN IT.
IT'S NOT ABOUT POWER.
>> Bill: BUT IT IS.
>> BILL, WE LIVE IN A LIFE OF
COMPROMISE, WE ARE ALL MARRIED,
LIFE IS COMPROMISE.
>> Bill: NOT ALL OF US!
>> YOU WON'T GET CAUGHT THERE.
BUT THERE IS SUCH OF A THING AS
A FACT AND DONALD TRUMP DID OKAY
IN THE LAST ELECTION, HE HAD
77 MILLION VOTES.
THE OTHER GUY GOT 81 MILLION
VOTES, 7 MILLION MORE, IT'S A
FACT.
YOU CAN HAVE YOUR OWN OPINION,
YOU CAN HAVE YOUR OWN FACTS.
HE LOST THE ELECTION.
HE'S A LOSER!
HE HAD TO STAND BEFORE HIS
VOTERS LIKE HILLARY CLINTON HAD
TO DO, JOHN McCAIN HAD TO DO
IT, MITT ROMNEY HAD TO DO IT,
AL GORE HAD TO DO IT, WHEN YOU
LOSE YOU'VE GOT TO STAND UP AND
TELL THEM YOU LOST.
>> Bill: HE LOST THIS ROUND.
THEY'RE ALL LAUGHING AND SAYING
TRUMP IS NEVER GOING TO SAY HE
LOST AND HE'S NEVER GOING TO GO
AWAY, I'M TELLING YOU IT'S JUST
TAKING MORE THAN ONE CYCLE.
THAT SHARK IS NOT GONE.
IT'S OUT TO SEA.
>> WHAT'S THE REINSTATEMENT
THEN?
I'VE NEVER HEARD OF THIS!
>> Bill: DONALD TRUMP IS A
MALIGNANT NARCISSIST, YOU CAN
BREAK UP WITH A NARCISSIST.
IT'S GLENN CLOSE IN FATAL
ATTRACTION.
>> ISAAC IT'S FREDDY KRUEGER!
>> I WILL NOT BE IGNORED, DAN!
>> Bill: HE'S THE EX-HUSBAND
WHO THINKS THE WIFE IS COMING
BACK TO HIM EVEN THOUGH SHE IS
REMARRIED.
HE'D RATHER SHE'D BE DEAD THAN
TO BE WITH SOMEBODY ELSE.
EXCEPT WE ARE THE WIFE.
AND HE'S NOT GOING AWAY.
>> THE SCARY THING IS, THERE ARE
LARGE PERCENTAGE OF REPUBLICANS
LIKE OVER 75% WHO THINK THE
ELECTION WAS STOLEN.
THE PROBLEM WITH THIS IS YOU
BEGIN TO BUILD A SUBCULTURE THEY
ARE OF PEOPLE WHO DO NOT EVEN
BELIEVE IN THE RESULTS OF OUR
NATIONAL ELECTIONS.
IT HAS A PROFOUND IMPACT ON THE
WAY THIS COUNTRY GOES GOING
FORWARD AND WE HAVE TO BREAK THE
SPELL.
>> Bill: BUT HOW?
>> YOU KNOW, BILL, THE ANSWER TO
IT IS VERY SIMPLE.
WE NEED TO REALIZE THAT WE NEED
TO LIVE A LIFE BIGGER THAN
OURSELVES AND WE CAN'T BE STUCK
IN THIS I CULTURE SO IF I'M IN A
TRIBE THAT'S ALL ABOUT WHAT'S
GOOD FOR THE TRIBE, IT'S NOT
GOOD FOR ANYBODY ELSE.
THAT HAS TO BE BROKEN.
AND PEOPLE NEED TO STAND UP AND
SAY THAT, YES, WE CAN GO FORWARD
AND WE ARE GOING TO REJECT THIS
NONSENSE AND THERE'S REPUBLICANS
DOING IT AND I'M ONE OF THEM.
[APPLAUSE]
>> YOU NEED A CODE RINGTONE
FIGURE OUT WHAT TRUMP TALKING
ABOUT.
HE'S NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS
INFRASTRUCTURE BILL THAT'S TOO
EXPENSIVE, THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT
THE WHITE PEOPLE IN THE COUNTRY
BEING OUTNUMBERED EVENTUALLY.
IT'S CHANGING DEMOGRAPHICALLY
AND NO MATTER WHAT THEY TALK
ABOUT THAT'S WHAT THEY ARE
THINKING ABOUT.
IF YOU THINK ABOUT WHY THE
PEOPLE ARE SO PRO TRUMP IT'S NOT
BECAUSE HE'S ANY GOOD OR HE
TELLS THE TRUTH, HE NEVER TELLS
THE TRUTH, NEVER DOES ANYTHING,
BUT HE SAYS I HATE WHO YOU
HATES.
THAT'S WHAT IT'S ABOUT.
THAT'S WHY TRUMP HAS BEEN
SUCCESSFUL, HE DOESN'T WIN BACK
THE DEMOCRATIC CHASE AND DOESN'T
WANT MAJORITY RULE, HE MADE IT
PRETTY CLEAR HE LOSS THE FIRM FM
ALIEN.
>> Bill: THERE'S A REPUBLICAN
FOR THAT REPUBLICANS, ALL
RESPECT FOR THE GOOD REPUBLICANS
OUT THERE, THERE'S ONE ISSUE YOU
CAN'T BE WRONG ON IF YOU'RE
REPUBLICAN AND YOU WANT TO GET
ELECTED AND THAT'S VOTER
SUPPRESSION.
YOU HAVE TO BE FOR IT.
VERY FOR IT.
THIS GUY IN FLORIDA,
RON DeSANTIS, SOME THINGS, YOU
KNOW, YOU THINK HE IS SAYING BUT
ON THIS ISSUE HE IS A FASCIST.
HE IS RIGHT WITH THE CROWD AND
HE'S NEVER GOING TO GIVE THAT UP
AND THAT'S THE ONE ISSUE YOU
HAVE TO GET YOURSELF RIGHT ON.
STOPPING PEOPLE FROM VOTING AND
THEN IF DEMOCRATS DON'T GET SOME
SORT OF NATIONAL STANDARDS
BEFORE 2022, I THINK THE GAME IS
OVER.
BECAUSE THE REPUBLICANS ARE
GOING TO DO WELL IN THE
ELECTION.
>> I'VE HELD OUT FOR A VERY LONG
TIME AS GOVERNOR, EXPANDED
MEDICAID WHEN I WAS THE ONLY
REAL REPUBLICAN IN THE COUNTRY
TO DO IT.
LET ME EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU IF
YOU'RE AN POLITICS AND YOU CAN
DO DO WHAT YOU BELIEVE THEN GET
OUT.
PLAIN AND SIMPLE.
IN OTHER WORDS LET'S TAKE THE
ISSUE OF VOTER SUPPRESSION, WE
SPENT ALL THIS TIME MAKING IT
EASIER FOR PEOPLE TO VOTE AND
NOW THEY WANT TO MAKE IT MORE
DIFFICULT FOR PEOPLE TO VOTE.
IT'S OUTRAGEOUS AND IT'S WRONG.
IN MY STATE OF OHIO, IT HASN'T
BEEN THERE.
>> Bill: JOHN, GREAT SPEECH TO
MAKE HERE.
TRY TO MAKE THE SPEECH AND GET
ELECTED IN OHIO.
>> GUESS WHAT, I MIGHT.
>> Bill: GET YOUR ASS KICKED.
>> I MIGHT NOT WIN THIS TIME.
>> Bill: TIME IS RUNNING OUT.
>> CHURCHILL SAID IN POLITICS
THE MORE DON'T MARK WHERE YOU
CAN DIE ONCE, POLITICS YOU CAN
DIE MANY TIMES.
>> Bill: OKAY, I'M JUST
TELLING YOU.
I AGREE WITH THAT, SO WHAT.
HE WAS A SENATOR, HE RETIRED AND
SO HIS SEAT IS OPEN.
ALL THE REPUBLICANS RUNNING FOR
ROB PORTMAN SEES, YOU KNOW WHERE
THEY ALL MADE THEIR FIRST?
MAR-A-LAGO.
THEY WENT DOWN THERE TO KISS THE
RING BEFORE -- THAT'S WHERE THE
PARTY IS.
SO, THIS IS A LOVELY SPEECH THAT
WOULD NOT WORK.
>> I'D LIKE A QUESTION TO THE
REPUBLICANS DO BELIEVE EVERYBODY
SHOULD VOTE?
>> Bill: EVERYBODY?
>> NO.
>> THEY DON'T BELIEVE IN IT.
>> Bill: EVERYBODY COULD VOTE,
YOU SAID SHOULD.
IF YOU KNOW NOTHING YOU
SHOULDN'T.
>> LET ME TELL YOU ONE THING.
>> Bill: YOUR LEARNING HISTORY
FROM INSTAGRAM, PLEASE, JUST
STAY OUT OF IT.
>> THE 15TH AMENDMENT IN THE
CONSTITUTION WHICH ALLOWED THE
FORMER SLAVES TO VOTE.
IT BASICALLY SAID THE CONGRESS
SHALL PASS LEGISLATION TO MAKE
THIS WORK TO GET
AFRICAN-AMERICANS TO VOTE.
THE CONGRESS HAS A
RESPONSIBILITY TO GO IN AND MAKE
SURE PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO VOTE.
SOULS TO THE POLLS EARLY VOTING
MINORITY COMMUNITY, IT'S ALL
ESTABLISHED AND VOTING ON ITS
OWN WAY AFTER GOING TO CHURCH ON
SUNDAY.
WHAT THEY ARE DOING IN THE STATE
IS MAKING SURE IT IS
PARTICULARLY THAT BLACK PEOPLE
DON'T VOTE.
>> Bill: AGAIN, THE QUESTION
KEEPS COMING UP.
IT WOULD WE DO ABOUT IT?
SOME PEOPLE SAY WE SHOULD GET
RID OF THE FILIBUSTER AND I'M
ONE OF THE PEOPLE.
I NOTICE THERE'S A COUPLE
DEMOCRATS WHO WON'T GO ALONG SO
IT'S DEAD BUT THE FILIBUSTER
ITSELF IS REALLY A CHANGE IN THE
CONSTITUTION BECAUSE WHAT IT IS
SAYING IS THE FOUNDERS WANTED TO
SAY 50, IF YOU HAVE JUST ONE
MORE VOTE AND THAT'S THE
VICE PRESIDENT BECAUSE WE ARE AT
50/50, IF YOU HAVE JUST ONE MORE
VOTE YOU DON'T NEED A SUPER
MAJORITY.
IF YOU JUST NEED 50 TO PASS
LEGISLATION AND THAT'S THE WAY
WE ALWAYS DID IT.
THEN IT BECAME THE FILIBUSTER,
WHICH WAS USED RARELY BACK IN
THE DAY BUT NOW IT'S FOR
EVERYTHING WHICH MEANS YOU NEED
60.
IT'S SKEWED FIRST OF ALL THE
FOUNDERS OF THE CONSTITUTION
WANTED AND IT'S NOT A CHRISTIAN
CINEMA SAID IT ENCOURAGES
BIPARTISANSHIP, ONE OF THE
DEMOCRATS THAT WON'T GO ALONG.
IT ENCOURAGES OBSTRUCTIONISM.
IT DOESN'T HELP AND IT'S GOT TO
GO.
ESPECIALLY NOW THAT THE ISSUE IS
ELECTIONS THEMSELVES.
THEY ARE FUCKING, IT'S ONE THING
ISSUES WITH IN ELECTIONS AND THE
OTHER THING WHEN THE ISSUE IS
ELECTIONS.
I MEAN, WE'VE GOT HAVE A NUCLEAR
OPTION HERE.
>> I WANT TO FIRST OF ALL, THE
FILIBUSTER -- YOU GO AHEAD AND
GET RID OF IT AND WE'VE GOT RID
OF IT PARTIALLY NOW AND WE'VE
HAD THINGS HAPPEN.
WE HAVE A BLIGHT, GET RID OF THE
FILIBUSTER AND THE OTHER SIDE
GETS AND THEN THEY JAM AND
RIVERS EVERY THING ELSE.
BUT I WANTED TO GO BACK.
>> Bill: YOU DON'T GET RID OF
AT THE OTHER SIDE'S NEVER GOING
TO GET IT.
I MEAN US.
>> LET ME MAKE TWO POINTS.
THE CHANGE IN THE COUNTRY COMES
FROM THE BOTTOM UP AND I TOLD
YOU THAT, CIVIL RIGHTS, WOMAN
SUFFRAGE, IT COMES FROM US
PUSHING UP AND FORCING THOSE AT
THE TOP TO CHANGE.
AND SECONDLY, I REJECT THE
NOTION THAT YOU HAVE TO SUPPORT
ANY OF THIS NONSENSE IN THE
REPUBLICAN PARTY TO GET ELECTED.
I'VE RUN FOR OFFICE WHEN NO ONE
THOUGHT I COULD WIN IN THE FACT
WHEN YOU BELIEVE IN THINGS
DEEPLY IT'S AMAZING HOW YOU CAN
TURN OTHER PEOPLE ONTO YOUR
CANDIDACY AND YOU CAN WIN.
THIS IS NOT SOME BLUE SKY
HYPERBOLE.
>> Bill: ARE YOU GOING TO RUN
AGAIN?
>> NO, I KIND OF LIKE WHAT I'M
DOING NOW.
IT'S GREAT IN THEORY.
>> Bill: WHEN YOU'RE NOT TOO
OLD TO DO IT.
BELIEVE IN IT SO MUCH.
BE THAT GUY.
YOU WILL GET YOUR ASS KICKED.
THE REPUBLICAN PARTY, YOU WILL.
I DON'T THINK I WOULD BE OF
HELP.
CAMPAIGN WITH ME.
THE DISTRICT IN OHIO.
YOU'LL DO A FUCKING GREAT JOB.
>> I THINK THEY HAVE A STRATEGY.
MITCH McCONNELL, YOU KNOW, YOU
COULD SAY ELMER FUDD BUT HE'S
PROBABLY BUGS BUNNY, HE GETS
AWAY WITH EVERYTHING.
I THINK YOU GOT THE STRATEGY,
MAKE SURE THE DEMOCRATS AND
BIDEN GET NOTHING THROUGH FOR
THE NEXT YEAR AND A HALF AND
THEY GO TO THE POLLS NEXT YEAR
ON THREE ISSUES, THREE NEGATIVE
ISSUES.
THEY COMPLAIN ABOUT CRIME,
THEY'RE GOING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT
THE BORDER, THEY WILL COMPLAIN
ABOUT PRICES.
IF THEY WANT TO RUN AN ENTIRELY
NEGATIVE CAMPAIGN NEXT YEAR AND
THE WAY THEY WANT TO GET AWAY
WITH IT THE DEMOCRATS HAVE
NO SUCCESSES.
MAKE SURE THERE IS NO SUCCESSES.
>> THERE IS PLENTY OF SUCCESSES.
>> VOTING RIGHTS, POLICE REFORM,
AS YOU TALKED ABOUT WITH THE
CONGRESSMAN, GOT TO DO SOMETHING
ON GUNS AND IMMIGRATION.
A LOT OF THE THINGS DEMOCRATS
WANT TO GET DONE THEY WANT TO
PASS LAWS TO IMPROVE THE COUNTRY
AND THEY WANT TO DO THINGS!
MITCH McCONNELL WANTS TO MAKE
SURE NOBODY DOES ANYTHING EXCEPT
BLAME SOMEBODY.
>> Bill: AS ALWAYS, THE
REPUBLICAN ADMINISTRATION ENDS
WITH THE ECONOMY GOING OFF THE
CLIFF.
IF IT HAPPENED WITH BUSH, OBAMA
CAME IN AND STRAIGHTENED IT OUT,
BIDEN CAME IN AND STRAIGHTEN IT
OUT, THE ECONOMY IS DOING GOOD.
PEOPLE ARE NOT -- PEOPLE ARE
VACCINATED.
THEY HAVE PLENTY TO RUN ON.
APROPOS OF THE DISCUSSION, THREE
QUARTERS OF REPUBLICANS THINK
THAT THE RIOTS, THE CAPITOL HILL
RIOT WAS NOT TRUMP SUPPORTERS
OUT THERE.
THEY THINK IT WAS ACTUALLY
LIBERALS AND DEMOCRATS DRESSED
UP AS THEM MAKING THEM -- I'M
NOT MAKING THIS UP.
[LAUGHTER]
TRYING TO MAKE TRUMP LOOK BAD.
THAT WE DRESS UP AS THEM.
SO, I JUST WANT TO SAY G TO
CONCERT US, YOU GOT US.
YOU GOT US!
THAT'S WHAT WE DO.
WE DO, WE DO IT, WE DRESS UP
LIKE YOU, THERE'S A COSTUME
DEPARTMENT AT GEORGE SOROS'
HOUSE.
TIM ROBBINS AND I DO THE SEWING.
THERE IS EVEN A CATALOG NOW,
FALSE FLAG SUPPLY.
IF YOU WANT IS A LIBERAL TO
DRESS UP TO MAKE A TRUMP LOOK
BAD JUST GET THE STUFF HERE, WE
HAVE SOME OF THE THINGS FOR
EXAMPLE YOU CAN GET THIS THIS
DISTRESSED MAGA HAD THIS IS
GREAT BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO LOOK
LIKE, YOU KNOW, YOU'VE HAD IT
FOR A WHILE.
BUT IF YOU'RE REALLY -- IF YOU
REALLY WANT TO DO WELL, LOOK
LIKE THEM, GET THIS TRUMP MAGA
HAD WITH THE MULLET.
WITH THE MULLET BUILT INTO IT.
THERE YOU GO.
IF YOU REALLY WANT TO SEALED THE
DEAL AND DRESS UP LIKE THEM,
BECAUSE IT'S ALL IN THE DETAILS.
GET THESE METH TEETH.
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
AND THEN, IF YOU REALLY WANT TO
SELL IT, OKAY, SO, YOU KNOW, A
LOT OF THE PEOPLE WHO WERE TRUMP
SUPPORTER'S, BLOW UP THEIR HANDS
SETTING OFF FIRE CRACKERS.
YOU GET THIS FAKE RUBBER HAND
WITH THE MISSING FINGER.
YOU'RE ALSO GOING TO NEED A LOT
OF THE LIBERALS WERE TOO IN
SHAPE GET THE TRUMP GOT, YOU PUT
THIS RIGHT --
[LAUGHTER]
THERE IS ALSO, OH, YOU WANT A
MISSPELLED HANDS-ON
HAND SIGN?
OH.
AGAIN.
IT'S IN THE DETAILS!
YOU WANT YOUR COPY OF THE
CONSTITUTION, THEY CARRY A COPY
AND MAKE SURE IT'S STILL IN THE
PACKAGING BECAUSE THEY'VE NEVER
READ IT.
THAT'S VERY IMPORTANT.
FINALLY, NOT TO LEAVE THE LADIES
OUT OF THIS, YOU WANT THESE ARE
TERRIFIC, MIKE PENCE EARRINGS.
SEE, HE IS HANGING, C.
RELEASING THIS.
COMEDY BREAK, FELLOWS.
ALL RIGHT I WANT TO TALK ABOUT
SOME OTHER ISSUES HERE.
ONE IS THE HACKING THAT'S GOING
ON.
YOU'RE TOO SMART, GUYS, THINK
ABOUT THIS, WE FIRST HAD THE
COLONIAL PIPELINE HACKED AND
THEN THE MITA DIDN'T GET THROUG
THROUGH.
CHRISTOPHER WRAY, THE FBI
DIRECTOR SO THERE'S A LOT OF
PARALLELS TO 9/11, TALKING ABOUT
HACKING IN GENERAL.
HE SAID THE AVERAGE AMERICAN IS
NOT RELEAS REALIZING IT CAN AFF.
AT THE SCALE OF THE PROBLEM IS
ONE THAT I THINK THE COUNTRY HAS
DID COME TO TERMS WITH AND HE'S
RIGHT.
WE ARE NOT JUST FIGHTING THE
LAST WAR BY BUYING AIRCRAFT
CARRIERS, WE ARE IGNORING THE
CURRENT ONE.
THIS IS ALREADY THE WAR AND I
GUESS THE QUESTION IS IF THIS IS
HOW WARFARE IS NOW, ARE WE STILL
A SUPERPOWER?
>> THE PROBLEM WE HAVE IS THIS
WHOLE ISSUE OF CYBERSECURITY IT
SPREAD OUT AND ABOUT SIX OR
SEVEN PLACES INSIDE THE FEDERAL
GOVERNMENT.
YOU HAVE ALL THIS BUREAUCRACY,
ALL OF THEM HAVING A PIECE,
NOBODY'S IN CHARGE.
OUR OPPONENTS KNOW THAT, NUMBER
ONE.
NUMBER TWO, THAT NEEDS TO BE
CONSOLIDATED.
I DID FOR EXAMPLE IN MY
STATEMENT I CONSOLIDATED
PROGRAMS THAT NEEDED
CONSOLIDATING LIKE HEALTH CARE
PROGRAMS WHERE WE WERE ABLE TO
CUT THE COSTS AND SERVE MORE
PEOPLE.
THIS, YOU HAVE TO GIVE UP THE
TURF AND THIS IS AGAIN BACK TO
IA, I DON'T WANT TO GIVE UP THE
TURF.
YOU'VE GOT THINGS OF THE
DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE, HOMELAND
SECURITY, NSA, ALL THIS
BUREAUCRACY AND IT NEVER WORKS.
SECONDLY, WE HAVE TO HAVE AN
OFFENSE OF POLICY.
WE HAVE TO HAVE FOR US, WE HAVE
TO MAKE IT CLEAR THAT WE ARE NOT
GOING TO PUT UP WITH THAT MUCH
LONGER.
IT HAS TO COME OUT OF THE
PRESENT.
>> Bill: WHEN YOU ABOUT GIVING
UP STUFF THAT WE HAVE BEEN
SELFISH ABOUT, THIS GOES BACK TO
EISENHOWER IN 1960 WITH HIS
MILITARY INDUSTRIAL CONFLICT.
>> TOO MUCH STUFF!
GET IT SHRINK DOWN AND HAVE A
POLICY.
>> Bill: WE SPENT
$18.7 BILLION FOR CYBERSECURITY.
THAT IS NOTHING.
AT THE PENTAGON SPENT
$750 BILLION.
HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO GET
CYBER LOOTED BEFORE WE STOP
BUILDING BATTLESHIPS AND
SUMMARIES TO FIGHT THE
SOVIET UNION IN 1979?
IT IS NOT BECAUSE THEY ARE FOR
THE DEFENSE, THEY ARE FOR
CONTRACTORS.
>> OF THE DEFENSE REFORMER AND I
WAS ABLE TO HALT THE PRODUCTION
OF THE B-2 BOMBER BECAUSE I
THOUGHT IT WAS EXCESSIVE AND YOU
ARE RIGHT AND WHEN YOU SAY AT
TIMES OF THE PUBLIC WORKS
PROGRAM IN THE PENTAGON.
GET RID OF THE STUFF YOU DON'T
NEED AND FOCUS ON THE THREAT OF
TODAY AND THE THREAT OF
TOMORROW.
A BIG ONE IS CYBER.
A BIG ONE.
MOBILITY, SPEED, POWER.
>> Bill: WE COULD HAVE SO MUCH
MORE MONEY FOR OTHER THINGS IF
WE DON'T BUILD TANKS WE ARE
NEVER GOING TO USE.
>> PEARL HARBOR WAS HER SHOCK,
THE SHIPS LINED UP IN PERFECT
TARGET PRACTICE FOR THE JAPANESE
EMPIRE.
WE HAD 9/11, THE GUYS WERE ABLE
TO GET ON PLANES AND USE --
THEY'VE GOT THE TRAINING IN
FLORIDA HOW DID FLY THE PLANES
AND WE WERE TOTALLY VULNERABLE.
THIS TIME AROUND WE ARE TOTALLY
VULNERABLE AND 70 SAID THE OTHER
DAY WE NEED A MANHATTAN PROJECT.
WE NEED TO GET SERIOUS ABOUT IT,
LIKE THE BOMB IN WORLD WAR II.
WE HAVE TO FIGURE IT OUT BUT
WE'VE COME THROUGH BEFORE AND
LOOK HOW FAST WE GOT THE
VACCINATIONS.
IT STILL WORKS AND IT'S THE
PRIVATE SECTOR BECAUSE RIGHT NOW
ONE COMPANY, A MEAT COMPANY GETS
HIT, PIPELINE COMPANY GETS HITS,
NOT SHARING THE INFORMATION AND
NO AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL FOR THE
THINGS COMING IN AT US AND
THERE'S NO UNITED -- WHAT'S
GOING ON.
IT'S A PRIVATE SECTOR AND THE
PUBLIC SECTOR BUT IT TAKES A
LEADER TO DO THIS, MAY BE A ONE
PERSON TO DO IT.
>> THIS CAN BE FIXED.
IF SPEAK OF HAVE VERY FEW
TARGETS, NOT MUCH WE CAN HIT
THEM WITH.
WHERE LIKE A LITERAL GLASS HOUSE
OF MODERN TECHNOLOGY.
>> THEY DON'T HAVE ELECTRICITY
IN RUSSIA?
>> YOU GET INTO A BACK-AND-FORTH
FIGHT WITH THEM IN MAY NOT BE
THE RIGHT -- GO AGAINST THEM
COVERTLY.
ONLY IN THE UNITED STATES
GOVERNMENT CAN ATTACK THEM.
AT THE BUSINESSES CAN'T ATTACK
BACK, COLONIAL CAN'T ATTACK
BACK, TAKES U.S. GOVERNMENT.
>> SEE, THE PROBLEM IS WHEN YOU
HAVE A COMMITTEE DOWN THERE
TRYING TO DECIDE WHAT TO DO YOU
NEVER GET AN ANSWER.
SOMEBODY HAS TO BE PUT IN
CHARGE.
THERE HAS TO BE ONE PLACE AND
YOU TAKE AND YOU CENTRALIZE IT
SOMEWHERE AND THEN YOU HAVE AN
OFFENSE OF POLICY.
>> SORT OF CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE
AGENCY.
>> YEAH.
EXACTLY.
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
VIGGO INTEL IS GOOD, BILL,
KNOWING WHAT'S GOING ON IN THE
WORLD IS GOOD, BILL.
>> Bill: I AGREE, I'VE AGREE
COME I'VE NEVER BEEN AGAINST IT.
WE NEED THEM.
BUT ISRAEL DID A HACK THEY THINK
THIS WEEK OF IRAN AND THEY GOT
AN OIL REFINERY TO BLOW UP WHICH
I KNEW YOU COULD DO THINGS LIKE
STOP THE MEAT FROM COMING
THROUGH OR TURN OFF -- I DIDN'T
KNOW YOU COULD BLOW SOMETHING U
UP.
>> LOOK WHAT THEY DID TO THE
NUCLEAR PROGRAM.
LOOK BACK FIVE YEARS.
IF SPEWING APPARENTLY YOU CAN
OVERHEAT A NUCLEAR PLANT AND
MAKE IT -- SO, LIKE PACK THE
UTILITIES, POWER IN NEW YORK AND
THAT'S WHAT WE HAVE TO BE
HONEST.
>> OF THE COUNTRY HAD DONE THIS
TO US AND SENT A BOMBER DO IT,
WE WOULD OBLITERATE THEM.
BUT WHEN IT IS THROUGH A
COMPUTER, APPARENTLY IT IS
DIFFERENT.
IT SHOULDN'T BE DIFFERENT AND
WHAT'S THE DETERRENT?
I GET IN THAT WORLD WARFARE WHAT
THE DETERRENT WAS, NUCLEAR
WEAPONS ARE HORRIBLE BUT THEY
SORT OF KEPT THE PEACE BETWEEN
THE BIG BOYS BECAUSE WE DIDN'T
WANT TO USE THEM ON EACH OTHER.
WHAT'S THE DETERRENT HERE?
HOW ARE WE DETERRING THE NEXT
ONE?
SO FAR, OUR POLICY AGAIN,
PRIVATE COMPANIES, PAYING IN
BITCOIN, THE GOVERNMENT BILL.
>> THEY HAVE A STRONG AND
CONSISTENT POLICY ON THIS.
YOU KNOW WHAT, THE WAY YOU'RE
TALKING HERE, MAY BE BIDEN NOT
TO THINK ABOUT PUTTING YOU IN
THAT AND YOU CAN LEAVE THE SHOW
AND I'LL TAKE IT OVER A P.RIOD
IN ALL SERIOUSNESS --
>> Bill: SEVERAL REASONS WHY
THE PLAN WOULDN'T WORK.
>> REPUBLICANS WEREN'T ACTUALLY
UPSET ABOUT THE RUSSIANS
ATTACKING THE DEMOCRATS.
WHY DIDN'T THEY JUMP IN AND SAY,
I DON'T CARE WHO YOU'RE DOING IT
JOE, YOU'RE DOING IT TO THE
AMERICANS.
>> Bill: THIS IS A NATIONAL
SECURITY ISSUE AND IT SHOULD
HAVE NO PARTISAN INVOLVEMENT AT
ALL.
BUT YOU HAVE TO HAVE HIS REFORM
IN WASHINGTON.
WHEN THE PRESIDENT SAYS WE ARE
GOING TO CONSOLIDATE ALL THESE
BUREAUCRACIES WILL SAY OH, YEAH,
HOW LONG WILL HE BE AROUND?
HE'S GOT TO CONSOLIDATE THEM AND
HAVE A POLICY JUST LIKE YOU SAID
A STRONG POLICY THAT ACTUALLY
CAN IMPOSE DAMAGE AND HURT ON
THOSE WHO HAVE HACKED US BEFORE
IT AFFECTS ALL OF US HERE AND
BEGINS TO UNDERMINE --
>> THE BIGGER THREAT RHINOS THAT
HACKING THAT HOW I CAN WEAR THE
FACT GENERAL COIN WITH A
MILITARY COUP AGAINST THE
GOVERNMENT?
>> TALKING ABOUT GENERAL FLYNN?
>> GENERAL FLYNN ON THE SHOW
ONCE I DON'T KNOW WHY HE DID IT.
WE HAVE THE FOOTAGE.
[LAUGHTER]
'S VIGGO, BILL --
>> Bill: THE ONE THING THAT
MADE YOU LAUGH.
>> I WAS GOOD.
>> Bill: YES, GENERAL FLYNN --
>> BY THE WAY GENERAL FLYNN --
>> Bill: GENERAL FLYNN THE
NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR UNDER
TRUMP BEFORE HE LOST HIS JOB OR
LYING TO THE FBI HE SAID MAY BE
WHAT HAPPENED IN MIRAMAR WHICH
IS THE FORMER COUNTRY WHICH WAS
A MILITARY COUP SHOULD HAPPEN
HERE.
THIS IS A FORMER NATIONAL
SECURITY ADVISOR ASKING FOR THE
OVERTHROW OF THE GOVERNMENT.
AGAIN, BIDEN SAYING DEMOCRACY IS
IMPERIAL BUT WHAT ARE WE DOING?
WE JUST LET THIS PASS?
WE WHISTLE PAST THIS GRAVEYARD?
>> LIKE A STORY OF THE DAY AND
THEN MOVE ON.
BUT A NATURAL TRANSITION HERE.
TRUMP SAYS PRESIDENT OBAMA WAS A
FAKE, AND THEN HE SAID JOE BIDEN
IS A FAKE.
IN OTHER WORDS, HE'S CALLED FOR
AND OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT AND
MANY OTHER WAYS LIKE GOING TO
THE CAPITOL ON GENER JANUARY 6T.
WHY DON'T WE HAVE A COUP?
IT'S NOT LIKE MICHAEL FLYNN'S
ARE A CREATIVE WRITER, HE'S
FOLLOWING THE SCRIPT AT TRUMP
ROAD ROAD.
OF >> Bill: RIGHTS, AND AGAIN,
THIS IS THE PROBLEM THAT I THINK
WITH ALL DUE RESPECT YOU'RE
FIGHTING THE LAST WAR OVER.
WE ARE NOT IN THIS PLACE WHERE I
MEAN IF THIS IS TEN YEARS AGO
YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN THE PERFECT
ISSUE BECAUSE REASONABLE
DEMOCRATS, THE REASONABLE
REPUBLICAN, WE ARE NOT THERE.
IT'S ONE SIDE THINKS THAT THE
OTHER SIDE IS AN EXISTENTIAL
THREAT.
THEY GOT IT INTO THEIR HEADS
THAT WE ARE SATANIC BABY EATERS.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT -- I MEAN, 18,
YES, EATING PEOPLE ARE RUNNING
NOW FOR CONGRESS.
WHO ARE QUEUING ON.
TAYLOR GREEN WHO IS ABOUT ONE
MOOD SWING AWAY FROM GETTING
NAKED IN TARGET IS GOING TO BE
THE LEADER OF A CULT.
IT'S GOING TO BE A Q1 NONCAUCUS.
HOW DO YOU NEGOTIATE WITH
MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE?
BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN
WOULD'VE.
>> I WOULD HAVE DONE IT.
BY THE WAY, SOMETHING THAT
CANNOT BE UNSAID HERE AND THAT
IS BIDEN WALKS A TIGHT ROPE.
BECAUSE BIDEN GOES TOO FAR AND
GIVES TOO MUCH TO REPUBLICANS
THE LEFT GOES CRAZY THAN ALL THE
THINGS WILL COME TUMBLING DOWN.
HE'S MAKING PROPOSALS AND HE'S
NOT ABLE TO NEGOTIATE THE
INFRASTRUCTURE BILL BECAUSE HE
KNOWS HE CAN ONLY GO SO FAR.
YOU CAN'T LET THEM OFF THE HOOK.
THE HARD LEFT IS A THREAT TO
JOE BIDEN IN TO MAKE SOME
VERY -- BIDEN NEVER RAN LIKE
THIS.
I ENDORSE THE GUY, HE NEVER RAN
WITH THIS HE SAID HE WAS GOING
TO BRING US TOGETHER AND THEY
ARE NOT HAVING ANY KIND OF GOOD
NEGOTIATIONS.
IT'S WRONG.
>> Bill: THE POOH-POOHED LEFT
IS A ALBATROSS.
>> BACK IN THE ' 50s IN '60s
THEY HAD THE SOCIETY HANGING ON
THEIR NECKS AND THAT WAS THE
ALBATROSS.
ANTI-SEMITISM AND THE
CONSERVATIVE MOVEMENT ALL OVER
THE PLACE AND THE GUY BILL
BUCKLEY CAME ALONG AND HE SAID,
GET THAT CRAP OUT OF HERE.
TODAY IN THE MEDIA THERE'S NO
MEDIA STAR ON THE RIGHTS,
TALKING TO THESE PEOPLE SAYING
NO MORE QANON, NO MORE
ANTI-SEMITISM, NO WERE TO STOOP
AND BLAME IMMIGRANTS FOR
EVERYTHING WRONG IN THE COUNTRY
IS OVER.
HE'S GOING TO DO THAT.
>> Bill: TIME FOR "NEW RULES,"
EVERYBODY.
THANKS, GUYS.
OKAY.
NEW RULE: SOMEONE HAS TO ASK
BORIS JOHNSON, AFTER CELEBRATING
A SECRET WEDDING TO HIS FIANCEE
AT 10 DOWNING STREET, "WHAT DAY
WOULD BE SPECIAL ENOUGH FOR YOU
TO COMB YOUR HAIR?"
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
NEW RULE: JUST BECAUSE WEED IS
INCREASINGLY LEGAL IN AMERICA,
DRUG-SNIFFING POLICE DOGS
SHOULDN'T BE FORCED INTO
RETIREMENT.
WE SHOULD HIRE THEM TO FIND
DRUGS WE LOSE AROUND OUR HOUSE.
[APPLAUSE]
AND THAT'S WHY DOGS ARE BETTER
THAN CATS -- BECAUSE DOGS CAN
HOLD DOWN A JOB.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
IT'S TRUE.
POLICE DOGS, GUARD DOGS, HUTNING
DOGS, SERVICE DOGS.
YOU TRY TO GIVE A CAT A JOB AND
THEY'RE LIKE, SCREW YOU, I'M OFF
TODAY.
THAT'S RIGHT.
ONCE EVERY LIKE 20 YEARS I DO A
DOG AND CAT SHOW.
I DON'T BELIEVE IN THEM BUT IF I
CAN, YOU'LL SEE IT.
NEW RULES: GEN Z'ERS MUST ADMIT
THAT, IF SHOVING A LONG STICK
ALL THE WAY UP YOUR NOSE WASN'T
ALREADY THE TEST FOR
CORONAVRIUS, THEY'D BE DOING IT
AS AN INSTAGRAM CHALLENGE.
[LAUGHTER]
NEW RULE: NOW THAT
"THE ATLANTIC" HAS PUBLISHED
THIS ARTICLE "AMERICA HAS A
DRINKING PROBLEM," WHICH CLAIMS
"THERE'S NOTHING MODERATE, OR
CONVIVIAL, ABOUT THE WAY MANY
AMERICANS DRINK TODAY."
THEY CAN GO AHEAD AND CANCEL MY
SUBSCRIPTION.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
I'M SORRY, BUT I WON'T STAND
IDLY BY WHILE YOU BESMIRCH A
WHOLE NATION WHOSE ONLY CRIME IS
PASSING OUT BEFORE THEY CAN
FINISH MASTURBATING, THEN WAKING
UP NEXT TO AN EMPTY CAN OF
PRINGLES, HAVING TEXTED "YOU
UP?" TO SEVEN DIFFERENT
EX-GIRLFRIENDS.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
ACTUALLY, MAYBE "THE ATLANTIC"
HAS A POINT.
NEW RULE: TRY NOT TO READ TOO
MUCH INTO THE STORY ABOUT THE
PENNSYLVANIA WOMAN SUSPECTED OF
DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE AND
SLAMMING HER SUV INTO A
SUBSTANCE ABUSE TREATMENT
CENTER.
[LAUGHTER]
SURE, IT COULD'VE BEEN A CRY FOR
HELP, BUT MAYBE SHE JUST NEEDED
A PLACE TO CRASH.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
I KNOW.
I'M ON EVERY WEEK.
AND FINALLY, NOW THAT GRADUATION
SEASON HAS ENDED AND WE WON'T BE
SPOILING
ANYONE'S BIG DAY, LET'S TALK
ABOUT WHAT 'HIGHER EDUCATION' IN
AMERICA REALLY IS: A RACKET THAT
SELLS YOU A VERY EXPENSIVE
TICKET TO THE UPPER MIDDLE
CLASS.
[APPLAUSE]
PRESIDENT BIDEN'S AMERICAN
FAMILIES PLAN ASKS THE TAXPAYERS
TO PONY UP HUNDREDS OF BILLIONS
SO THAT EVERYONE CAN GO TO
COLLEGE -- AND BILLIONS MORE FOR
SUBSIDIZED CHILDCARE SO OUR KIDS
CAN GO TO SCHOOL WHILE WE GO TO
SCHOOL.
[LAUGHTER]
THE THEORY BEING THAT ALL THIS
EDUCATION TRICKLES DOWN AND
EVENTUALLY GETS TO FLORIDA.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
THE RIGHT IS CALLING BIDEN'S
PLAN SOCIAL ENGINEERING, WHICH
IS OVER THE TOP, BUT BIDEN'S
PLAN IS AN ENDORSEMENT OF A
PARTICULAR IDEA: THAT THE MORE
TIME HUMANS SPEND IN CLASSROOMS
STARING AT BLACKBOARDS, THE
BETTER.
LIBERALS SEE MORE SCHOOL THE WAY
REPUBLICANS SEE TAX CUTS, AS THE
ANSWER TO EVERYTHING.
WE IMAGINE GOING TO COLLEGE IS
THE WAY TO FIGHT INCOME
INEQUALITY, BUT ACTUALLY IT DOES
THE REVERSE.
IF YOU HAVE A BACHELOR'S DEGREE,
YOU MAKE ABOUT 65% MORE THAN
SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T, AND WITH A
MASTER'S DEGREE, IT'S MORE LIKE
100% MORE.
AND THE UNEMPLOYMENT RATE OF
COLLEGE GRADS IS ABOUT HALF WHAT
IT IS FOR HIGH SCHOOL GRADS I
KNOW "FREE COLLEGE" IS NOW A
LEFT WING THING, BUT IS IT
REALLY LIBERAL FOR SOMEONE WHO
DOESN'T GO TO COLLEGE AND MAKES
LESS MONEY, TO PAY FOR PEOPLE
WHO DO GO AND MAKE MORE?
[APPLAUSE]
I'M ASKING.
ESPECIALLY SINCE COLLEGES HAVE
TURNED INTO GIANT, LUXURY
DAYCARE CENTERS WITH OVERPAID
BABYSITTERS ANXIOUS TO INDULGE
EVERY STUDENT WHIM.
THE UNIVERSITY OF MISSOURI HAS A
RIVER GROTTO INSPIRED BY THE
PLAYBOY MANSION.
AND TEXAS TECH
HAS ONE OF THE LARGEST WATER
PARKS IN THE COUNTRY THAT
INCLUDES A 25-PERSON HOT TUB,
TANNING DECK, WATER SLIDE, AND A
"LAZY RIVER."
[LAUGHTER]
A THIRD OF STUDENTS NOW SPEND
LESS THAN FIVE HOURS A WEEK
STUDYING, AND WHEN THEY DO IT'S
FOR THEIR ONEROUS MAGNUM CUM
BULLSHIT COURSE LOAD OF SPORTS
MARKETING, HISTORY THROUGH
TWITTER, ADVANCED RACIST
SPOTTING, INTRO TO
MICRO-AGGRESSIONS AND YOU OWE ME
AN APOLOGY 101.
WHY IS CHINA KICKING OUR ASS?
BECAUSE IN 2019 WE ISSUED MORE
UNDERGRAD DEGREES IN "VISUAL AND
PERFORMING ARTS" THAN COMPUTER
AND INFORMATION SCIENCE OR MATH.
SAY WHAT YOU WANT ABOUT LORI
LOUGHLIN, AT LEAST SHE
UNDERSTOOD THAT ONE GOOD SCAM
DESERVES ANOTHER.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
IN THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF HER
DAUGHTER OLIVIA JADE "I DON'T
KNOW HOW MUCH SCHOOL I'M GOING
TO ATTEND...
BUT I DO WANT THE EXPERIENCE OF
LIKE, GAME DAYS AND PARTYING."
YEAH, I'M NOT PAYING FOR THAT.
[APPLAUSE]
[LAUGHTER]
IN 1960, COLLEGES AWARDED A'S TO
15% OF THE STUDENTS.
NOW IT'S 45%, AND IT'S NOT
BECAUSE THEY GOT SMARTER.
IT'S BECAUSE OF ADDERALL.
[LAUGHTER]
YEAH, KIND OF.
BUT ALSO, COLLEGES ARE
BUSINESSES SELLING A CONSUMER
PRODUCT FOR HUNDREDS OF
THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS, AND THEY
WANT TO GIVE THE CUSTOMERS WHAT
THEY WANT, A MAGICAL PIECE OF
PAPER CALLED A DIPLOMA.
BUT THAT'S ONLY THE BEGINNING OF
THE SCAM.
A WANNABE LIBRARIAN NEEDS A
MASTER'S DEGREE JUST TO GET AN
ENTRY LEVEL JOB FILING BOOKS.
I'VE HEARD THIS SO MANY TIMES
FROM NURSES AND TEACHERS AND
ADMINISTRATORS, ROLLING THEIR
EYES WHEN RELATING HOW THEY
NEEDED TO TAKE SOME BULLSHIT
COURSE IN ORDER TO ADVANCE IN
THEIR FIELD, WHEN REALLY THEY
ALREADY LEARNED WHAT THEY NEED
BY WORKING THE JOB.
BUT IN THE GRIFT THAT IS OUR
HIGHER EDUCATION, WHEN YOU WANT
TO MOVE UP -- HOLD ON THERE, NOT
SO FAST.
TOLL BOOTH AHEAD.
YOU NEED TO PAY FOR MORE
"EDUCATION" BEFORE WE DECIDE IF
YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU DO.
FUCK.
THIS IS WHAT SCIENTOLOGY DOES,
MAKES YOU KEEP TAKING "COURSES"
TO MOVE UP TO THE BRIDGE TO
TOTAL FREEDOM.
IN THE MIDDLE AGES, THE CATHOLIC
CHURCH FAMOUSLY SOLD
INDULGENCES, WHICH WERE JUST
TICKETS TO HEAVEN THAT YOU COULD
BUY.
WELL, ANOTHER PRIESTHOOD, OF
ACADEMIA, SELLS A DIFFERENT
TICKET TO HEAVEN, AND BECAUSE
IT'S SO NECESSARY, COLLEGES CAN
CHARGE WHATEVER THEY WANT.
SINCE 1985 THE AVERAGE COST OF
COLLEGE HAS RISEN 500%.
IT DOUBLES EVERY NINE YEARS.
EVERY YEAR IT INCREASES AT FOUR
TIMES THE RATE OF INFLATION.
AND YET, NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO
CHANGE A TIRE.
THE ANSWER ISN'T TO MAKE COLLEGE
FREE.
THE ANSWER IS TO MAKE IT MORE
UNNECESSARY.
WHICH IT IS FOR MOST JOBS.
[APPLAUSE]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
SO THAT THE TWO-THIRDS OF
AMERICANS WHO EITHER CAN'T
AFFORD TO OR JUST DON'T WANT TO
GO DON'T FEEL SHUT OUT.
BECAUSE THE SYSTEM WE HAVE SETS
UP THIS WINNER-LOSER DYNAMIC AND
BREEDS RESENTMENT THAT WORKING
HARD HAS LESS VALUE THAN SITTING
AROUND IN THIS THING, AND THAT
IN TURN FEEDS INTO OUR WIDENING
POLITICAL DIVISION.
OR AS ONE RECENT POLITICIAN PUT
IT:
>> I LOVE THE POORLY EDUCATED!
>> Bill:
OK, THAT'S OUR SHOW.
I'LL BE AT THE MAJESTIC THEATRE
IN SAN ANTONIO, JULY 10TH, AT
THE TOYOTA MUSIC FACTORY IN
IRVING, TX, JULY 11TH, AND AT
ACL LIVE AT THE MOODY THEATRE IN
AUSTIN, AUGUST 1ST.
I WANNA THANK MY GUESTS CHRIS
MATTHEWS, JOHN KASICH AND REP.
RITCHIE TORRES.
WE'LL BE BACK NEXT WEEK.
GOODNIGHT!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]