1 00:00:09,609 --> 00:00:12,045 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:12,112 --> 00:00:15,148 >> START THE CLOCK. 3 00:00:15,215 --> 00:00:22,555 ♪ ♪ 4 00:00:22,622 --> 00:00:30,230 ♪ ♪ 5 00:00:30,296 --> 00:00:36,903 ♪ ♪ 6 00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:40,640 ♪ ♪ 7 00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:44,744 >> Bill: THANK YOU, HOW ARE 8 00:00:44,811 --> 00:00:47,814 YOU A QUESTION MARK [CHEERS AND 9 00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:53,486 APPLAUSE] 10 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:54,587 [CHEERS AND 11 00:00:54,654 --> 00:00:54,854 APPLAUSE] 12 00:00:54,921 --> 00:00:58,091 SUCH A HAPPY MASK LESS CROWDED 13 00:00:58,158 --> 00:00:59,826 WE HAVE HERE, IT'S WONDERFUL. 14 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:00,960 WE WERE OFF LAST WEEK I KNOW 15 00:01:01,027 --> 00:01:02,228 YOU'RE STILL IN A GOOD MOOD 16 00:01:02,295 --> 00:01:05,765 BECAUSE IT WAS A HOLIDAY WEEK. 17 00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:10,970 WE HAD EASTER, WE HAD 4/20. 18 00:01:11,037 --> 00:01:11,738 WHICH ONE DO YOU THINK I 19 00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:14,240 CELEBRATE? 20 00:01:14,307 --> 00:01:15,241 [LAUGHTER] 21 00:01:15,308 --> 00:01:22,148 THEY ARE KIND OF ALIKE. 22 00:01:22,215 --> 00:01:23,383 INSTEAD OF EGGS ON THE MORNING I 23 00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:28,354 HUNT FOR THE LIGHTER. 24 00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:28,621 [LAUGHTER] 25 00:01:28,688 --> 00:01:32,091 [APPLAUSE] 26 00:01:32,158 --> 00:01:34,060 THE OTHER THING PEOPLE ARE 27 00:01:34,127 --> 00:01:36,196 CELEBRATING IS THEY LIFTED THE 28 00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:42,735 MASK MANDATE IN AIRPLANES. 29 00:01:42,802 --> 00:01:44,003 ON AIRPLANES WHERE YOU TAKE IT 30 00:01:44,070 --> 00:01:45,538 OFF TO EAT, SO THE VIRUS CAN 31 00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:49,976 NEVER ATTACK YOU THEN. 32 00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:51,811 THEY WERE UNCOMFORTABLE, THEY 33 00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:53,780 WERE POINTLESS AND THEY GOT 34 00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:57,450 STUCK IN MIKE TYSON'S FIST -- 35 00:01:57,517 --> 00:02:01,087 YOU SAW THAT SHIT? 36 00:02:01,154 --> 00:02:03,523 I GUESS EVERYONE HAS SEEN THIS 37 00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:05,592 VIDEO, MIKE TYSON JUST WAILING 38 00:02:05,658 --> 00:02:08,394 ON A GUY AND THE SAD PART, YOU 39 00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:08,862 KNOW WHO THE GUY WAS? 40 00:02:08,928 --> 00:02:12,465 CHRIS ROCK. 41 00:02:12,532 --> 00:02:17,303 SO SAD. 42 00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:20,173 THIS IS SUCH A SIGN OF THE 43 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:22,709 TIMES, NOW THE TONY AWARDS I 44 00:02:22,775 --> 00:02:24,444 GUESS NEXT MONTH -- THE TONY 45 00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:27,847 AWARDS HAD TO PUT OUT TODAY A 46 00:02:27,914 --> 00:02:28,581 STRICT NO VIOLENCE POLICY, THE 47 00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:30,950 TONY AWARDS. 48 00:02:31,017 --> 00:02:32,685 AND A SUDDEN MOVEMENT, IT BETTER 49 00:02:32,752 --> 00:02:36,222 BE JAZZ HANDS. 50 00:02:36,289 --> 00:02:40,293 -- THE TONY AWARDS? 51 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:41,861 I FEEL LIKE THE COUNTRY IS KIND 52 00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:46,766 OF COMING APART. 53 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,234 HAVE YOU BEEN FOLLOWING THE 54 00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:52,472 JOHNNY DEPP -- AMBER HEARD? 55 00:02:52,539 --> 00:02:53,873 I'M STARTING TO THINK I MAY NOT 56 00:02:53,940 --> 00:03:03,850 WANT TO GET MARRIED. 57 00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:05,251 WE ARE READING THE TEXTS COME OF 58 00:03:05,318 --> 00:03:08,121 THE TEXTS FROM JOHNNY, HE SAYS I 59 00:03:08,187 --> 00:03:10,757 HOPE HER ROTTING CORPSE IS IT 60 00:03:10,823 --> 00:03:11,391 DECOMPOSING IN THE FUCKING TRUNK 61 00:03:11,457 --> 00:03:15,028 OF A HONDA CIVIC. 62 00:03:15,094 --> 00:03:20,867 AND THEN THINGS GOT NASTY. 63 00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:24,304 ALSO -- WHY BRING A HONDA CIVIC 64 00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:28,041 HONDA CIVIC -- HONDA IS LIKE WHY 65 00:03:28,107 --> 00:03:28,474 US? 66 00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:33,713 SHE COULD BE IN ANY CAR. 67 00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:37,183 I CAN'T AND I CAN'T EVEN. 68 00:03:37,250 --> 00:03:40,653 TALK ABOUT CAN'T EVEN, SHE PUT 69 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:43,489 SHIT IN HIS BED. 70 00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:45,491 AMBER HEARD IS A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN 71 00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:46,826 AND I HAVE HEARD OF PHRASE I 72 00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:49,128 WOULDN'T KICK HER OUT OF BED FOR 73 00:03:49,195 --> 00:03:49,696 EATING CRACKERS BUT THIS IS 74 00:03:49,762 --> 00:03:56,703 GOING TOO FAR. 75 00:03:56,769 --> 00:03:58,905 THIS IS HOW MARRIED COUPLES 76 00:03:58,972 --> 00:03:59,606 COMMUNICATE NOW? 77 00:03:59,672 --> 00:04:02,408 YOU PUT SHIT IN THE BED? 78 00:04:02,475 --> 00:04:06,145 WHAT I'M HEARING IS YOU DIDN'T 79 00:04:06,212 --> 00:04:10,516 LIKE THE CHICKEN A LA KING. 80 00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:11,417 TUCKER CARLSON HAS THE ANSWER TO 81 00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:14,687 THIS, DID YOU SEE THIS? 82 00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,456 HE'S VENTURING INTO THE BATTLE 83 00:04:16,522 --> 00:04:19,258 OF THE SEXES, HE HAS A NEW 84 00:04:19,325 --> 00:04:20,093 DOCUMENTARY IT'S GETTING ALL 85 00:04:20,159 --> 00:04:22,695 THIS PRESS, IT'S CALLED THE END 86 00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:23,529 OF MEN BECAUSE TESTOSTERONE 87 00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:24,397 LEVELS ARE GOING DOWN -- WHICH 88 00:04:24,464 --> 00:04:27,200 THEY ARE, THAT IS TRUE, HE SAYS 89 00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:30,703 ONE OF THE CURES FOR THIS -- MEN 90 00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:36,843 SHOULD TAN THEIR TESTICLES. 91 00:04:36,909 --> 00:04:39,479 I'VE BEEN ONTO THIS SHIT FOR 92 00:04:39,545 --> 00:04:40,713 YEARS. 93 00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:42,548 IT'S FANTASTIC, THE ONLY PROBLEM 94 00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:45,284 IS I GET A TAN LINE BETWEEN 95 00:04:45,351 --> 00:04:48,788 WHERE MY BALLS ARE TOWN AND MY 96 00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:54,260 ASSHOLE IS BLEACHED IT'S NOT 97 00:04:54,327 --> 00:04:58,598 SMOOTH, IT DOESN'T LOOK SEAMLES 98 00:04:58,665 --> 00:05:00,266 SEAMLESS. 99 00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:01,701 WHAT IS IT WITH THIS COUNTRY, 100 00:05:01,768 --> 00:05:04,137 NOBODY CAN GET IT RIGHT OR KILL 101 00:05:04,203 --> 00:05:06,673 YOU SO WHAT'S GOING ON NOW THIS 102 00:05:06,739 --> 00:05:08,708 WEEK IN THE CONTINUING SAGA OF 103 00:05:08,775 --> 00:05:11,711 DISNEY VERSUS FLORIDA? 104 00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:14,080 FIRST DISNEY -- THEY WEREN'T 105 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:20,853 SUPPORTIVE ENOUGH OF GAYS, THE 106 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:22,488 REPUBLICANS ALL OVER THEM. 107 00:05:22,555 --> 00:05:24,524 TED CRUZ SAID IF DISNEY GETS ITS 108 00:05:24,590 --> 00:05:26,092 WAY, NEXT THING WE WILL BE 109 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:27,860 SEEING CARTOONS OF MICKEY AND 110 00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:29,128 PLUTO GOING AT IT, HE SAID 111 00:05:29,195 --> 00:05:32,665 THAT -- I SWEAR. 112 00:05:32,732 --> 00:05:34,367 I REMEMBER WHEN GAY MARRIAGE WAS 113 00:05:34,434 --> 00:05:35,702 FIRST THING, ONE OF THE 114 00:05:35,768 --> 00:05:36,769 REPUBLICAN TALKING POINTS WAS IF 115 00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:39,539 WE ALLOW THAT, PEOPLE WILL MARRY 116 00:05:39,605 --> 00:05:41,741 DOGS WHICH OF COURSE NEVER 117 00:05:41,808 --> 00:05:42,442 HAPPENED. 118 00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:44,243 NOW THEIR NEW ANGLE IS CARTOON 119 00:05:44,310 --> 00:05:49,048 DOGS IS WHAT WE HAVE TO WORRY 120 00:05:49,115 --> 00:05:53,086 ABOUT. 121 00:05:53,152 --> 00:05:53,352 [LAUGHTER] 122 00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:54,854 THEY ACT LIKE THERE'S A SIGN 123 00:05:54,921 --> 00:05:56,055 WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO DISNEYLAND 124 00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:58,224 THAT SAYS YOU MUST BE THIS TALL 125 00:05:58,291 --> 00:05:59,425 TO HAVE GENDER REASSIGNMENT 126 00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:00,626 SURGERY AND THERE'S NOT. 127 00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:04,931 [APPLAUSE] 128 00:06:04,997 --> 00:06:06,532 THEY WANT TO TAKE AWAY ALL OF 129 00:06:06,599 --> 00:06:07,133 THEIR RIGHTS IN FLORIDA, THEY 130 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:12,271 ARE LIKE THE VATICAN. 131 00:06:12,338 --> 00:06:15,108 THE OTHER THEME PARKS HAVE TAKEN 132 00:06:15,174 --> 00:06:15,842 NOTICE. 133 00:06:15,908 --> 00:06:21,781 UNIVERSAL STUDIOS HAS A NEW RIDE 134 00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:23,316 CALLED "HARRY POTTER LOVES 135 00:06:23,382 --> 00:06:28,988 PUSSY." 136 00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:33,259 ROUGH WEEK FOR MEDIA COMPANIES. 137 00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:35,828 DISNEY MIGHT HAVE TO MOVE OUT OF 138 00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:36,429 FLORIDA? 139 00:06:36,496 --> 00:06:39,932 CNN PLUS -- YOU SAW THAT SHIT? 140 00:06:39,999 --> 00:06:43,402 THEY DISAPPEARED IN TWO WEEKS, 141 00:06:43,469 --> 00:06:45,471 NETFLIX LOST MILLIONS OF 142 00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:47,573 SUBSCRIBERS FOR REASON WE 143 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:48,174 UNDERSTAND, MORE COMPETITION, 144 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:51,377 INFLATION, ALL PEOPLE NOTICING 145 00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:54,680 SUPERHERO MOVIES ARE EXACTLY THE 146 00:06:54,747 --> 00:07:01,888 SAME. 147 00:07:01,954 --> 00:07:02,655 AND YOUNG PEOPLE UNDERSTANDING 148 00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:04,323 THEY DON'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH 149 00:07:04,390 --> 00:07:07,026 THE NETFLIX AND CHILL CHARADE, 150 00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,027 THEY CAN JUST SAY "DO YOU WANT 151 00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:15,067 TO COME OVER AND FUCK? 152 00:07:15,134 --> 00:07:15,935 [LAUGHTER] 153 00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:16,936 [APPLAUSE] 154 00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:18,404 FINAL STORY, KEVIN McCARTHY -- 155 00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:19,505 YOU SAW THIS. 156 00:07:19,572 --> 00:07:22,074 HE'S THE HOUSE LEADER, THE TAPE 157 00:07:22,141 --> 00:07:23,643 CAME OUT TWITCHY AT FIRST DENIED 158 00:07:23,709 --> 00:07:25,478 OF COURSE I LOVE THIS THAT SHE 159 00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:26,746 DENIES IT. 160 00:07:26,813 --> 00:07:28,347 RIGHT AFTER JANUARY 6TH, THE 161 00:07:28,414 --> 00:07:29,615 ATTACK ON THE CAPITAL, THE 162 00:07:29,682 --> 00:07:30,817 REPUBLICANS WERE MAD ABOUT IT 163 00:07:30,883 --> 00:07:33,352 AND HE WAS GOING TO CALL TRUMP 164 00:07:33,419 --> 00:07:35,054 AND TELL HIM THIS IS NOT 165 00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,255 ACCEPTABLE YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE 166 00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:38,925 TO RESIGN AND HE SAID NO, KEVIN 167 00:07:38,991 --> 00:07:39,792 McCARTHY SAID I NEVER SAID 168 00:07:39,859 --> 00:07:41,060 THAT, THEN THEY CAME OUT WITH 169 00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,395 THE TAPE, THEY FOUND IT TO COME 170 00:07:42,461 --> 00:07:43,529 EXACTLY WHAT YOU TOLD YOUR 171 00:07:43,596 --> 00:07:45,298 FRIEND, I'M GOING TO TELL HIM 172 00:07:45,364 --> 00:07:45,998 HE'S GOING TO HAVE TO RESIGN AND 173 00:07:46,065 --> 00:07:49,268 HE GOT ON THE PHONE WITH TRUMP, 174 00:07:49,335 --> 00:07:52,805 YOU'RE DOING A GOOD JOB, BOSS. 175 00:07:52,872 --> 00:07:55,408 I THINK HE NEEDS TUCKER 176 00:07:55,474 --> 00:08:04,016 CARLSON'S MAGICAL TESTICLE LAMP. 177 00:08:04,083 --> 00:08:04,817 OKAY, WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW, 178 00:08:04,884 --> 00:08:05,751 MARY KATHARINE HAM AND CAITLIN 179 00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:06,719 FLANAGAN ARE HERE, BUT FIRST. 180 00:08:06,786 --> 00:08:07,353 HE'S THE EMMY WINNING WRITER AND 181 00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:07,987 ACTOR WHO STARS IN "BETTER CALL 182 00:08:08,054 --> 00:08:09,021 SAUL" WHICH PREMIERED THIS WEEK 183 00:08:09,088 --> 00:08:09,622 ON AMC, AND THE NY TIMES 184 00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:10,223 BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF HIS NEW 185 00:08:10,289 --> 00:08:11,090 MEMOIR, "COMEDY COMEDY COMEDY 186 00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:16,729 DRAMA": BOB ODENKIRK. 187 00:08:16,796 --> 00:08:20,766 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 188 00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:20,967 ♪ ♪ 189 00:08:21,033 --> 00:08:24,203 HUG IT OUT. 190 00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:26,072 >> IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU! 191 00:08:26,138 --> 00:08:27,073 >> Bill: I WAS THRILLED. 192 00:08:27,139 --> 00:08:29,208 >> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME ON, 193 00:08:29,275 --> 00:08:31,344 YOU WERE ALWAYS SUCH A GREAT 194 00:08:31,410 --> 00:08:33,312 SUPPORTER OF ME AND DAVID DOING 195 00:08:33,379 --> 00:08:35,214 OUR MR. SHOW ON HBO. 196 00:08:35,281 --> 00:08:38,251 DOES ANYONE REMEMBER? 197 00:08:38,317 --> 00:08:41,854 COME ON, STUDY OR COMEDY, STUDY. 198 00:08:41,921 --> 00:08:45,558 >> FOR YOUTUBE IT. 199 00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:49,061 THAT SHOW -- I WAS THE BIGGEST 200 00:08:49,128 --> 00:08:51,464 FAN, YOU HAD LEGIONS OF FANS FOR 201 00:08:51,530 --> 00:08:53,499 THAT SHOW, ONE THING ABOUT THAT 202 00:08:53,566 --> 00:08:56,102 WHICH MIGHT NOT WORK ON YOUTUBE, 203 00:08:56,168 --> 00:08:57,303 YOUTUBE SHOWS SNIPPETS. 204 00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,705 THE GREAT THING ABOUT YOUR SHOW 205 00:08:59,772 --> 00:09:01,207 UNLIKE EVERY OTHER SKETCH SHOW, 206 00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:04,777 ALL THE SKETCHES WERE CONNECTED. 207 00:09:04,844 --> 00:09:05,411 "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" DOES ONE 208 00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:06,545 SKETCH AND ANOTHER ONE IS A 209 00:09:06,612 --> 00:09:10,116 COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SKETCH. 210 00:09:10,182 --> 00:09:11,350 >> FIRSTERS FIVE COMMERCIALS. 211 00:09:11,417 --> 00:09:12,852 >> Bill: YOURS -- EVERYONE I 212 00:09:12,919 --> 00:09:14,220 THOUGHT THAT WAS GENIUS AND 213 00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:16,756 INNOVATIVE. 214 00:09:16,822 --> 00:09:20,092 >> WE WERE TRYING TO COPY PYTHO 215 00:09:20,159 --> 00:09:20,326 PYTHON. 216 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,627 THEY HAD ANIMATIONS BUT WE WOULD 217 00:09:21,694 --> 00:09:23,462 MAKE A SKETCH GO INTO THE NEXT 218 00:09:23,529 --> 00:09:26,732 SKETCH TO KEEP THAT ENERGY GOING 219 00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:27,633 AND KEEP THINGS SILLY. 220 00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:28,868 IT WAS GREAT FUN TO DO, I THINK 221 00:09:28,935 --> 00:09:31,504 WE DID IT RIGHT A COUPLE TIMES, 222 00:09:31,570 --> 00:09:33,773 WE DID 33 SHOWS -- THAT'S ALL, 223 00:09:33,839 --> 00:09:35,875 WE PACKED A LOT OF IDEAS INTO 224 00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:38,945 THEM AND THERE'S A GREAT EPISODE 225 00:09:39,011 --> 00:09:42,248 WHERE MEDIOCRITY IS A MONSTER 226 00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:45,785 THAT COURSES THROUGH THE WHOLE 227 00:09:45,851 --> 00:09:46,252 EPISODE. 228 00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:48,220 >> IT WORKED ON A LEVEL I HAVE 229 00:09:48,287 --> 00:09:50,056 NEVER SEEN BEFORE AND NOT TO SAY 230 00:09:50,122 --> 00:09:52,658 OTHER SKETCH SHOWS AREN'T GOOD, 231 00:09:52,725 --> 00:09:54,627 YOU WORKED ON "SNL." 232 00:09:54,694 --> 00:09:58,064 >> I WORKED ON "SNL." 233 00:09:58,130 --> 00:09:59,298 >> Bill: IT'S INTERESTING, 234 00:09:59,365 --> 00:10:00,266 THERE'S A ROSTER OF REALLY 235 00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:02,168 IMPRESSIVE PEOPLE WHO HAVE 236 00:10:02,234 --> 00:10:03,602 WORKED ON "SNL" AND BOMBED 237 00:10:03,669 --> 00:10:05,905 OUT -- LARRY DAVID, SARAH 238 00:10:05,972 --> 00:10:06,739 SILVERMAN, DEARLY DEPARTED 239 00:10:06,806 --> 00:10:10,309 GILBERT GOTTFRIED, YOU, ZACH 240 00:10:10,376 --> 00:10:12,378 GALIFIANAKIS, JULIA 241 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,146 LOUIS-DREYFUS. 242 00:10:14,213 --> 00:10:16,716 IS NOT TO SAY THAT PEOPLE WHO WE 243 00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:19,051 HAVE SEEN ON THE SHOW WEREN'T 244 00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:20,019 ALSO FANTASTIC BECAUSE THEY 245 00:10:20,086 --> 00:10:20,453 WERE. 246 00:10:20,519 --> 00:10:22,888 IT'S LIKE THERE'S TWO DIFFERENT 247 00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:25,624 TYPES OF PEOPLE IN COMEDY. 248 00:10:25,691 --> 00:10:26,659 WHAT DO YOU THINK MAKES THE 249 00:10:26,726 --> 00:10:28,260 DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE KIND OF 250 00:10:28,327 --> 00:10:31,297 PERSON WHO SURVIVES AND THRIVES 251 00:10:31,364 --> 00:10:32,631 ON A SHOW LIKE "SNL" AND THOSE 252 00:10:32,698 --> 00:10:35,167 WHO DON'T? 253 00:10:35,234 --> 00:10:38,771 >> I THINK I'M PARTICULARLY 254 00:10:38,838 --> 00:10:44,143 DANGEROUS AND INTELLIGENT. 255 00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:45,044 ON THE WONDERFUL BRAIN, I'M 256 00:10:45,111 --> 00:10:48,514 UNIQUE AND SPECIAL. 257 00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:49,181 NO, THEY ARE BETTER THAN ME AND 258 00:10:49,248 --> 00:10:51,384 I'M SLOWER THAN THEM AND THAT'S 259 00:10:51,450 --> 00:10:56,022 WHAT IT IS. 260 00:10:56,088 --> 00:10:58,691 THAT SHOW HAS THESE DEMANDS AND 261 00:10:58,758 --> 00:10:59,825 NEEDS THAT TO SATISFY THE 262 00:10:59,892 --> 00:11:02,795 AUDIENCE WITH A BIG, BIG 263 00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:04,997 PRESENTATION AND A CONFIDENCE 264 00:11:05,064 --> 00:11:08,100 AND I JUST DIDN'T HAVE THAT. 265 00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:09,902 >> Bill: IT'S BROADER -- IT'S 266 00:11:09,969 --> 00:11:11,504 JUST BROADER. 267 00:11:11,570 --> 00:11:13,739 >> I LIKE BROAD COMEDY TOO, I 268 00:11:13,806 --> 00:11:15,141 JUST COULDN'T DO IT. 269 00:11:15,207 --> 00:11:15,808 I WAS TOO YOUNG. 270 00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:18,077 A LOT OF PEOPLE -- THAT'S THEIR 271 00:11:18,144 --> 00:11:19,945 FIRST JOB AND THEY DON'T KNOW 272 00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:22,515 THEIR VOICE YET AND THE SHOWS 273 00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:23,349 DEMANDS ARE SO IMMEDIATE AND 274 00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:24,750 INTENSE, YOU DO IT EVERY WEEK 275 00:11:24,817 --> 00:11:26,552 YOU'VE GOT TO PUT IT TOGETHER IN 276 00:11:26,619 --> 00:11:28,087 TWO DAYS AND I COULDN'T PULL IT 277 00:11:28,154 --> 00:11:28,654 OFF. 278 00:11:28,721 --> 00:11:30,856 I WAS THERE FOR THREE AND A HALF 279 00:11:30,923 --> 00:11:31,857 YEARS, I LEARNED EVERYTHING I 280 00:11:31,924 --> 00:11:33,626 KNOW THERE, I GOT PAID FOR BEING 281 00:11:33,692 --> 00:11:34,960 THERE AND THEY GOT NOTHING OUT 282 00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:39,398 OF ME. 283 00:11:39,465 --> 00:11:40,699 I WROTE THE MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER 284 00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:41,767 BUT THAT WAS THE YEAR AFTER I 285 00:11:41,834 --> 00:11:42,601 LEFT. 286 00:11:42,668 --> 00:11:50,576 >> Bill: GOT A LOT OF OUT OF OUF 287 00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:52,445 YOU. 288 00:11:52,511 --> 00:11:53,813 >> TOOK WHAT I LEARNED AND I 289 00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:55,414 CAME TO L.A. AND I MADE A 290 00:11:55,481 --> 00:11:55,648 CAREER. 291 00:11:55,714 --> 00:11:56,782 >> Bill: I THINK THIS ALSO HAS 292 00:11:56,849 --> 00:11:58,818 TO DO, YOU THINK THERE SHOULD BE 293 00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:03,022 AN ELEMENT OF ANGER IN COMEDY. 294 00:12:03,089 --> 00:12:04,156 >> FOR ME, ABSOLUTELY. 295 00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:05,324 >> Bill: NOT THAT IT CAN'T BE 296 00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:08,060 SILLY, WE LIKE THAT TOO. 297 00:12:08,127 --> 00:12:09,161 BUT I'M THE SAME WAY YOU ARE, 298 00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:12,665 THE BEST KIND OF COMEDY HAS 299 00:12:12,731 --> 00:12:14,767 THAT, THERE'S A LITTLE 300 00:12:14,834 --> 00:12:15,634 NUTRITIOUS VALUE THAT DOESN'T 301 00:12:15,701 --> 00:12:16,669 EXIST EVERYWHERE. 302 00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:19,138 >> IT DOESN'T END WITH EVERYBODY 303 00:12:19,205 --> 00:12:20,706 GOING WE'RE JUST KIDDING, IT'S 304 00:12:20,773 --> 00:12:23,943 ALL OKAY, IT'S GOT A LITTLE EDGE 305 00:12:24,009 --> 00:12:25,778 AND I NEEDED THAT AND I LOVED IT 306 00:12:25,845 --> 00:12:28,481 AND THAT'S WHAT I SAW IN 307 00:12:28,547 --> 00:12:29,815 MONTY PYTHON AND EVEN IN "SNL" 308 00:12:29,882 --> 00:12:32,485 AND MANY SKETCHES, CERTAINLY THE 309 00:12:32,551 --> 00:12:33,652 EARLY "SNL," IT WAS A 310 00:12:33,719 --> 00:12:34,820 GENERATIONAL THING THE FIRST 311 00:12:34,887 --> 00:12:36,422 COUPLE OF YEARS, IF YOU WANT 312 00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:37,022 PART OF THAT GENERATION, YOU 313 00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:40,059 DIDN'T GET IT AND I LOVE THAT, I 314 00:12:40,126 --> 00:12:41,460 LOVE THAT IN COMEDY, I LOVE THAT 315 00:12:41,527 --> 00:12:44,497 THERE IS A SHOW THAT YOU HAVE TO 316 00:12:44,563 --> 00:12:45,598 FIND YOUR WAY INTO THE BRAIN OF 317 00:12:45,664 --> 00:12:48,801 THE PEOPLE WHO MADE IT. 318 00:12:48,868 --> 00:12:49,635 >> Bill: AND YET YOU NEVER 319 00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:51,137 WANTED TO BE A STAND-UP. 320 00:12:51,203 --> 00:12:54,673 >> BILL, YOU ARE A STAND-UP AND 321 00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:58,043 YOU'RE A GREAT STAND-UP. 322 00:12:58,110 --> 00:12:59,145 >> Bill: FINISHED YOUR 323 00:12:59,211 --> 00:12:59,411 THOUGHTS. 324 00:12:59,478 --> 00:13:02,414 >> YOU REALLY ARE. 325 00:13:02,481 --> 00:13:04,283 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 326 00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:06,051 >> Bill: HAVE YOU SEEN MY 327 00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:06,785 LATEST SPECIAL? 328 00:13:06,852 --> 00:13:09,288 IT'S RUNNING NOW. 329 00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:09,922 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 330 00:13:09,989 --> 00:13:12,191 >> THIS IS MY GUEST TONIGHT, 331 00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:15,194 BILL MAHER, HE'S GOT A SPECIAL. 332 00:13:15,261 --> 00:13:16,295 [LAUGHTER] 333 00:13:16,362 --> 00:13:17,296 THANK YOU, YOU CAN GO NOW. 334 00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:18,297 >> Bill: THANK YOU, IT'S SO 335 00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:21,433 GREAT TO BE HERE. 336 00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:24,436 >> I CAME UP IN CHICAGO DURING 337 00:13:24,503 --> 00:13:26,305 THE COMEDY BOOM WHICH YOU MUST 338 00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:28,474 REMEMBER, YOU STARTED THEN, 339 00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:31,443 RIGHT? 340 00:13:31,510 --> 00:13:33,512 >> Bill: LATE 70s, EARLY 341 00:13:33,579 --> 00:13:34,880 80s, EVERY CITY INCLUDING 342 00:13:34,947 --> 00:13:36,015 MIDSIZE CITIES IN AMERICA HAD 343 00:13:36,081 --> 00:13:38,050 MULTIPLE COMEDY CLUBS. 344 00:13:38,117 --> 00:13:39,552 IT WAS GREAT FOR A LITTLE WHILE 345 00:13:39,618 --> 00:13:41,153 LIKE ANYTHING AND THEN WE RUINED 346 00:13:41,220 --> 00:13:43,689 IT. 347 00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:47,660 >> I COULDN'T HANDLE THE 348 00:13:47,726 --> 00:13:48,794 CONFRONTATIONAL NATURE OF 349 00:13:48,861 --> 00:13:49,061 STAND-UP. 350 00:13:49,128 --> 00:13:49,929 A LOT OF TIMES A STAND-UP SHOW 351 00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:52,031 IS A FIGHT BETWEEN THE AUDIENCE 352 00:13:52,097 --> 00:13:53,999 AND THE PERFORMER AND I WAS 353 00:13:54,066 --> 00:13:55,134 ALWAYS OF THE FEELING THAT I 354 00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:56,769 WOULD GET OUT THERE, I WOULD 355 00:13:56,835 --> 00:13:57,970 START MY ACT IF THEY DIDN'T LIKE 356 00:13:58,037 --> 00:14:03,142 IT TO HIM I LIKE OKAY, BYE. 357 00:14:03,209 --> 00:14:04,577 YOU DON'T LIKE THIS, THERE'S 358 00:14:04,643 --> 00:14:06,145 OTHER PEOPLE. 359 00:14:06,212 --> 00:14:09,315 >> Bill: THAT'S WHAT LARRY 360 00:14:09,381 --> 00:14:11,150 DAVID USED TO DO. 361 00:14:11,217 --> 00:14:12,751 >> I REMEMBER SEEING HIM, IT WAS 362 00:14:12,818 --> 00:14:15,588 SO MUCH FUN. 363 00:14:15,654 --> 00:14:17,223 >> Bill: THERE'S A CERTAIN 364 00:14:17,289 --> 00:14:20,226 GENIUS THAT IS EMBEDDED IN THAT, 365 00:14:20,292 --> 00:14:20,859 YOUR IMPATIENT WITH THE AUDIENCE 366 00:14:20,926 --> 00:14:23,829 BEING TOO BROAD. 367 00:14:23,896 --> 00:14:24,697 >> OR DRUNK. 368 00:14:24,763 --> 00:14:25,898 >> Bill: WHICH MAKES YOU 369 00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:27,499 STUPIDER AND NOT BEING ABLE TO 370 00:14:27,566 --> 00:14:28,767 APPRECIATE THE SUBTLETY OF WHAT 371 00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:29,635 YOU WERE DOING. 372 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,203 IF YOU WORK ON A LEVEL 373 00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:33,205 SOMETIMES -- DO YOU REMEMBER THE 374 00:14:33,272 --> 00:14:38,077 TIME THAT YOU ALMOST KILLED ME? 375 00:14:38,143 --> 00:14:38,344 [LAUGHTER] 376 00:14:38,410 --> 00:14:40,913 YOU ALMOST KILLED ME IN ASPEN, 377 00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:41,814 IT WAS ON ASPEN COMEDY FESTIVAL 378 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:44,783 FOR MANY YEARS, WE HAD TO GO 379 00:14:44,850 --> 00:14:49,622 EVERY YEAR I FUCKING HATED IT. 380 00:14:49,688 --> 00:14:50,856 ASPEN IN FEBRUARY, SKIING, I 381 00:14:50,923 --> 00:14:52,258 DON'T SKI COME I DON'T WANT TO 382 00:14:52,324 --> 00:14:53,926 SKI, IT'S COLD, I DON'T WANT TO 383 00:14:53,993 --> 00:14:57,429 DIE IN A TREE. 384 00:14:57,496 --> 00:15:00,399 THE AIR IS THIN, I NEVER SLEPT, 385 00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:01,634 IT WAS A NIGHTMARE. 386 00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:03,936 YOU COULDN'T BREATHE AND YOU DID 387 00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:07,806 THIS BIT -- WE ALL HAVE A LITTLE 388 00:15:07,873 --> 00:15:10,276 BOOTH OR SOMETHING. 389 00:15:10,342 --> 00:15:12,511 >> ALL THE DIFFERENT SHOWS YOU 390 00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:12,811 COULD GO TO. 391 00:15:12,878 --> 00:15:14,013 >> I FORGET WHY YOU WERE DOING 392 00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:16,649 IT OR WHAT YOU WERE DOING, BUT 393 00:15:16,715 --> 00:15:18,717 YOU DID THIS BIT WHERE YOU ARE 394 00:15:18,784 --> 00:15:24,623 ROBERT EVANS. 395 00:15:24,690 --> 00:15:26,358 ROBERT EVANS AS GOD. 396 00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:27,459 I REMEMBER WATCHING STANDING IN 397 00:15:27,526 --> 00:15:30,262 THIS TENT AND I WAS LAUGHING SO 398 00:15:30,329 --> 00:15:31,730 HARD AND I THOUGHT OH FUCK, I'M 399 00:15:31,797 --> 00:15:34,600 GOING TO DIE AT A COMEDY 400 00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:35,634 FESTIVAL. 401 00:15:35,701 --> 00:15:40,439 FROM COMEDY BY ANOTHER COMEDIAN. 402 00:15:40,506 --> 00:15:42,908 >> JESUS COME MY SON, YOU LET ME 403 00:15:42,975 --> 00:15:43,208 DOWN. 404 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:45,144 >> Bill: PEOPLE HAVE TO KNOW 405 00:15:45,210 --> 00:15:45,544 WHO BOB EVANS IS. 406 00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:47,980 >> I THINK THE CADENCE AND THE 407 00:15:48,047 --> 00:15:50,316 VOICE IS FUNNY. 408 00:15:50,382 --> 00:15:52,251 IT'S JUST THAT GOD HAS A HUGE 409 00:15:52,318 --> 00:15:53,352 EGO, DIDN'T I DO A GOOD JOB WITH 410 00:15:53,419 --> 00:15:55,287 THE WORLD? 411 00:15:55,354 --> 00:15:57,923 I TRIED TO. 412 00:15:57,990 --> 00:16:04,430 [LAUGHTER] 413 00:16:04,496 --> 00:16:05,931 IT'S A GREAT WAY OF THINKING 414 00:16:05,998 --> 00:16:08,200 ABOUT GOD, HE'S GRINNING AND 415 00:16:08,267 --> 00:16:08,834 HAPPY, HE ACKNOWLEDGES ALL THE 416 00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:11,136 PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD THERE GO 417 00:16:11,203 --> 00:16:13,339 >> Bill: FOR THOSE WHO DON'T 418 00:16:13,405 --> 00:16:16,675 KNOW, ROBERT EVANS WAS THIS BIG 419 00:16:16,742 --> 00:16:18,677 PRODUCER, GODFATHER, CHINATOWN, 420 00:16:18,744 --> 00:16:19,611 HE WAS ALSO THIS LARGER THAN 421 00:16:19,678 --> 00:16:23,082 LIFE FIGURE HAD A BOOK OUT AT 422 00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:25,451 THE TIME CALLED THE KID STAYS IN 423 00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:26,752 THE PICTURE AND THE AUDIO 424 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:27,653 VERSION, TAPES BACK THEN WE PUT 425 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,588 IN YOUR CAR YOU WOULD LISTEN TO 426 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:32,591 IT AND IT WAS JUST THE VOICE YOU 427 00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:35,027 DID ABOUT HIS MALIBU LIFE. 428 00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:37,162 KNOW I'VE RUINED IT BY 429 00:16:37,229 --> 00:16:40,866 EXPLAINING IT. 430 00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:43,969 >> BASEBALL PLAYERS, DO ME A 431 00:16:44,036 --> 00:16:46,071 FAVOR, DON'T PRAY TO ME 432 00:16:46,138 --> 00:16:46,839 THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE GAME. 433 00:16:46,905 --> 00:16:47,106 [LAUGHTER] 434 00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:48,841 I'M PROBABLY NOT A FAN OF YOUR 435 00:16:48,907 --> 00:16:51,276 TEAM, I GOT IN OTHER GAMES ON 436 00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:52,044 TV. 437 00:16:52,111 --> 00:16:53,412 >> Bill: YOU SHOULD REVIVE 438 00:16:53,479 --> 00:16:53,612 THAT. 439 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:58,050 >> I SHOULD DO T THE WHOLE THIN. 440 00:16:58,117 --> 00:16:59,017 THAT'S THE OTHER REASON STAND-UP 441 00:16:59,084 --> 00:17:00,219 WAS SO HARD FOR ME I COULDN'T 442 00:17:00,285 --> 00:17:03,055 TELL MY JOKES MORE THAN TWICE 443 00:17:03,122 --> 00:17:03,622 WITHOUT HATING THEM. 444 00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,324 IT WOULD BE A GOOD JOKE AND THE 445 00:17:05,391 --> 00:17:06,225 SECOND TIME I TOLD THAT I BE 446 00:17:06,291 --> 00:17:11,029 LIKE I TOLD IT -- TELL EACH 447 00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:11,397 OTHER. 448 00:17:11,463 --> 00:17:16,135 GO SPREAD THAT WORD AROUND. 449 00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:18,103 A STAND-UP, A REAL PRO HAS TO BE 450 00:17:18,170 --> 00:17:20,139 ABLE TO DO THAT TIGHT 20, THAT 451 00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:22,241 CORE -- I DON'T KNOW IF YOU DO 452 00:17:22,307 --> 00:17:23,275 THAT BUT I WAS ALWAYS WORKING AT 453 00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:26,311 A TIGHT ZERO. 454 00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:26,578 [LAUGHTER] 455 00:17:26,645 --> 00:17:28,781 IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME BUT I GOT 456 00:17:28,847 --> 00:17:29,915 THERE. 457 00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:32,217 >> Bill: I DO A TIGHT 90, I 458 00:17:32,284 --> 00:17:33,051 DON'T DO 20s ANYMORE. 459 00:17:33,118 --> 00:17:34,486 >> YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, THAT 460 00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:37,456 CORE MATERIAL THAT YOU BRING 461 00:17:37,523 --> 00:17:38,390 THROUGH YOU THROUGH THE YEARS. 462 00:17:38,457 --> 00:17:40,459 >> Bill: I FOUND THE SECRET IS 463 00:17:40,526 --> 00:17:42,261 PEOPLE SAY ARE YOU ONE TOUR -- 464 00:17:42,327 --> 00:17:43,262 I'M NEVER ON TOUR. 465 00:17:43,328 --> 00:17:47,199 I DO TO GO SHOWS, SATURDAY AND 466 00:17:47,266 --> 00:17:48,434 SUNDAY, I GO HOME FOR A MONTH, 467 00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:50,102 THAN I DO TO GO MORE. 468 00:17:50,169 --> 00:17:53,705 THAT WAY, IT'S NEW BUT I'M STILL 469 00:17:53,772 --> 00:17:54,373 FRESH. 470 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:55,274 >> YOU DO HAPPEN TO HAVE A TV 471 00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:56,775 SHOW I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW 472 00:17:56,842 --> 00:17:58,277 ABOUT THAT. 473 00:17:58,343 --> 00:18:00,012 >> Bill: HIGH KNOW, AND A 474 00:18:00,078 --> 00:18:04,116 PODCAST NOW. 475 00:18:04,183 --> 00:18:05,217 I FIND IT BITTERSWEET THAT WE 476 00:18:05,284 --> 00:18:08,554 ARE AT THE AGE NOW BECAUSE YOUR 477 00:18:08,620 --> 00:18:09,288 BOOK -- FANTASTIC BOOK, COMEDY 478 00:18:09,354 --> 00:18:11,657 COMEDY COMEDY DRAMA. 479 00:18:11,723 --> 00:18:13,091 WE ARE AT THE AGE NOW WHERE WE 480 00:18:13,158 --> 00:18:14,960 ARE IMPARTING WISDOM. 481 00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:17,696 >> I WISH I HAD MORE. 482 00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:19,431 >> Bill: YOU WOULDN'T HAVE 483 00:18:19,498 --> 00:18:20,299 WRITTEN THE BOOK WHEN YOU WERE 484 00:18:20,365 --> 00:18:21,967 35, HE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH 485 00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:23,268 WISDOM, NOW YOU HAVE WISDOM AND 486 00:18:23,335 --> 00:18:24,269 YOU ARE IMPARTING IT'S. 487 00:18:24,336 --> 00:18:26,138 >> I'M TRYING TO COME I WISH I 488 00:18:26,205 --> 00:18:26,972 LEARNED MORE BUT THE LITTLE BIT 489 00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:28,740 I LEARNED IS IN THERE. 490 00:18:28,807 --> 00:18:33,245 GOOD LUCK FINDING IT BUT I DID, 491 00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:37,049 MOSTLY IT'S A BOOK ABOUT -- 492 00:18:37,115 --> 00:18:37,382 THANKS. 493 00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:39,985 IT'S MOSTLY A BOOK ABOUT MAKING 494 00:18:40,052 --> 00:18:42,087 YOU NOT QUIT, IT'S SHOWBIZ, IT'S 495 00:18:42,154 --> 00:18:43,188 A NUMBERS GAME AND IF YOU KEEP 496 00:18:43,255 --> 00:18:46,692 AT IT, YOU KEEP LOOKING FOR 497 00:18:46,758 --> 00:18:47,860 OPPORTUNITIES AND WONDERFUL 498 00:18:47,926 --> 00:18:48,560 OPPORTUNITIES WITH BETTER CALL 499 00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:51,029 SAUL IS SOMETHING I'D NEVER 500 00:18:51,096 --> 00:18:53,999 PURSUED AND IT CAME TO ME, IT'S 501 00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:54,867 CRAZY. 502 00:18:54,933 --> 00:18:56,635 >> Bill: YOU NEVER READ FOR 503 00:18:56,702 --> 00:18:57,469 IT, RIGHT? 504 00:18:57,536 --> 00:18:58,604 >> I NEVER READ FOR IT, I TOOK 505 00:18:58,670 --> 00:19:03,542 AN ACTING CLASS. 506 00:19:03,609 --> 00:19:04,243 DON'T TELL ANYONE. 507 00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:05,410 >> Bill: TELL THEM ALL BECAUSE 508 00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:07,713 THEY ARE THEIR MONEY. 509 00:19:07,779 --> 00:19:09,615 [LAUGHTER] 510 00:19:09,681 --> 00:19:13,385 [APPLAUSE] 511 00:19:13,452 --> 00:19:14,820 TO NAME ANOTHER COMEDIAN FROM 512 00:19:14,887 --> 00:19:16,154 OUR PAST, RICHARD BELZER. 513 00:19:16,221 --> 00:19:17,856 HE NEVER READ FOR THE PART THAT 514 00:19:17,923 --> 00:19:21,360 HE GOT THAT HE PLAYED FOR SO 515 00:19:21,426 --> 00:19:22,828 LONG ON WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT 516 00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:26,431 SHOW -- LAW AND ORDER. 517 00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:28,834 HE WAS DETECTIVE MUNCH IN MANY 518 00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:29,668 VERSIONS OF THE SHOW, BARRY 519 00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:30,435 LEVINSON THE DIRECTOR, SAME 520 00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:33,739 THING WITH YOU. 521 00:19:33,805 --> 00:19:35,240 SMART, CREATIVE DIRECTOR KNOWS 522 00:19:35,307 --> 00:19:36,241 THIS COMEDY GUY WITH THAT MIND 523 00:19:36,308 --> 00:19:38,210 HE'S GOING TO BE MORE 524 00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:39,011 INTERESTING THAN AN ACTOR, I 525 00:19:39,077 --> 00:19:40,846 DON'T HAVE TO SEE HIM AUDITION, 526 00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:42,814 I JUST KNOW. 527 00:19:42,881 --> 00:19:46,818 THEY LOVE DEAL. 528 00:19:46,885 --> 00:19:49,021 >> LIKE 14 YEARS LATER I'VE BEEN 529 00:19:49,087 --> 00:19:50,422 PLAYING THIS GUY FOREVER. 530 00:19:50,489 --> 00:19:51,723 >> Bill: NOW IT'S COMING TO AN 531 00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:51,890 END. 532 00:19:51,957 --> 00:19:52,591 >> THIS IS THE FINAL SEASON 533 00:19:52,658 --> 00:19:54,593 RIGHT NOW. 534 00:19:54,660 --> 00:19:56,762 IT'S OUR BEST SEASON, IT HAS 535 00:19:56,828 --> 00:19:57,663 BEEN AN AMAZING RIDE TO. 536 00:19:57,729 --> 00:19:59,131 >> BOTH SHOWS HAVE GIVEN US SO 537 00:19:59,197 --> 00:20:00,032 MUCH GREAT ENTERTAINMENT, WE 538 00:20:00,098 --> 00:20:04,469 THANK YOU FOR IT. 539 00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:04,836 BOB DYLAN KIRK! 540 00:20:04,903 --> 00:20:10,509 IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 541 00:20:10,576 --> 00:20:17,182 I'LL BE YOUR CARL REINER. 542 00:20:17,249 --> 00:20:19,451 LET'S MEET OUR PANEL! 543 00:20:19,518 --> 00:20:20,786 SHE'S A CNN COMMENTATOR AND 544 00:20:20,852 --> 00:20:21,787 CO-HOST OF THE TWICE-WEEKLY 545 00:20:21,853 --> 00:20:24,590 PODCAST, "GETTING HAMMERED": 546 00:20:24,656 --> 00:20:29,962 MARY KATHARINE HAM. 547 00:20:30,028 --> 00:20:32,564 I LOVE THE TITLE. 548 00:20:32,631 --> 00:20:32,831 [LAUGHTER] 549 00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:34,099 SHE'S A STAFF WRITER AT THE 550 00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:34,666 ATLANTIC AND AUTHOR OF "GIRL 551 00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:39,071 LAND": CAITLIN FLANAGAN. 552 00:20:39,137 --> 00:20:44,076 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 553 00:20:44,142 --> 00:20:45,143 THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE, 554 00:20:45,210 --> 00:20:46,111 THERE'S A LOT GOING ON IN THE 555 00:20:46,178 --> 00:20:47,346 WORLD WE ARE GOING TO TRY TO GET 556 00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:49,748 TO A LOT OF IT. 557 00:20:49,815 --> 00:20:52,384 THEY SAY ALL POLITICS IS LOCAL 558 00:20:52,451 --> 00:20:52,985 AND THERE'S NOTHING MORE LOCAL 559 00:20:53,051 --> 00:20:57,489 THAN YOUR FACE. 560 00:20:57,556 --> 00:21:01,994 I'M TALKING ABOUT THE MASKS. 561 00:21:02,060 --> 00:21:02,828 >> RIGHT TO. 562 00:21:02,894 --> 00:21:03,095 [LAUGHTER] 563 00:21:03,161 --> 00:21:04,162 >> Bill: OF ALL THE THINGS 564 00:21:04,229 --> 00:21:05,564 GOING ON IN THE WORLD THE THING 565 00:21:05,631 --> 00:21:07,566 THAT PEOPLE ARE THINKING ABOUT 566 00:21:07,633 --> 00:21:09,134 BECAUSE PEOPLE FLY A LOT, THEY 567 00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:12,404 ARE ON PLANES, I SAW VIDEOS OF 568 00:21:12,471 --> 00:21:13,271 PEOPLE ERUPTING IN CHEERS THAT 569 00:21:13,338 --> 00:21:14,272 THEY DON'T HAVE TO WEAR A MASK 570 00:21:14,339 --> 00:21:16,241 ON THE PLANE ANYMORE. 571 00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:17,909 THERE'S ALSO GOAT YOU HEAR FROM 572 00:21:17,976 --> 00:21:19,177 THE PEOPLE WILL DIE CROWD AND 573 00:21:19,244 --> 00:21:21,613 THEY ARE RIGHT, PEOPLE WILL DIE, 574 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:22,814 PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS DIE OR KILL 575 00:21:22,881 --> 00:21:24,116 HIM I'M AGAINST PEOPLE DYING BUT 576 00:21:24,182 --> 00:21:28,020 THEY ARE ALWAYS GOING TO DIE. 577 00:21:28,086 --> 00:21:28,987 YOU ACTUALLY CAN'T STOP IT AND 578 00:21:29,054 --> 00:21:32,057 THE MASKS WE FINDING OUT A 579 00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:33,525 PARTICULARLY INEFFECTIVE WAY OF 580 00:21:33,592 --> 00:21:36,595 STOPPING IT. 581 00:21:36,662 --> 00:21:38,430 I WISH IT DIDN'T HAVE TO BE 582 00:21:38,497 --> 00:21:39,765 POLITICAL BECAUSE I SEE A LOT OF 583 00:21:39,831 --> 00:21:40,499 PEOPLE ON THE NEWS SAYING I'M 584 00:21:40,565 --> 00:21:43,035 STILL GOING TO WEAR IT -- IT 585 00:21:43,101 --> 00:21:45,704 BECOMES AN AMULET AND A SYMBOL 586 00:21:45,771 --> 00:21:48,240 OF YOUR PARTY AND IT SHOULD JUST 587 00:21:48,306 --> 00:21:50,842 BE ABOUT THE SCIENCE. 588 00:21:50,909 --> 00:21:52,277 >> WITH THE SYMBOL OF OUR 589 00:21:52,344 --> 00:21:53,311 STUPIDITY THAT WE WOULD TURN 590 00:21:53,378 --> 00:21:56,782 SOMETHING LIKE THAT INTO AN 591 00:21:56,848 --> 00:21:58,216 AMULET. 592 00:21:58,283 --> 00:21:59,818 >> Bill: I UNDERSTAND WHY 593 00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:02,454 PEOPLE FEEL THAT WAY BUT WHEN I 594 00:22:02,521 --> 00:22:04,189 SEE YOUNG PEOPLE WALKING ALONE 595 00:22:04,256 --> 00:22:05,624 OUTSIDE WITH THE MASK, I WANT TO 596 00:22:05,691 --> 00:22:10,228 PUNCH THEM, I DO. 597 00:22:10,295 --> 00:22:12,964 >> WE ARE MAKING PPE PERSONAL 598 00:22:13,031 --> 00:22:13,965 AGAIN, THAT'S WHAT WE'RE DOING. 599 00:22:14,032 --> 00:22:16,835 PERSONAL PROTECTIVE EQUIPMENT. 600 00:22:16,902 --> 00:22:19,004 THE WORD WAS FOR THE WHOLE 601 00:22:19,071 --> 00:22:21,006 PANDEMIC THAT YOUR MASK PROTECTS 602 00:22:21,073 --> 00:22:22,841 ME AND FIND PROTECTS YOU -- NOW 603 00:22:22,908 --> 00:22:23,809 "THE NEW YORK TIMES" AND OTHER 604 00:22:23,875 --> 00:22:25,243 MEDIA OUTLETS AND HEALTH 605 00:22:25,310 --> 00:22:28,246 OFFICIALS ARE DOING NOW IT CAN 606 00:22:28,313 --> 00:22:29,681 BE TOLD WHERE THEY TELL YOU THE 607 00:22:29,748 --> 00:22:31,283 THING RIGHT-WINGERS AND OPEN 608 00:22:31,349 --> 00:22:33,652 SCHOOL ADVOCATES HAVE BEEN 609 00:22:33,719 --> 00:22:36,054 BITCHING ABOUT FOR SIX MONTHS IS 610 00:22:36,121 --> 00:22:40,625 ACTUALLY TRUE. 611 00:22:40,692 --> 00:22:41,960 THE MASK CAN PROTECT YOU AND 612 00:22:42,027 --> 00:22:44,596 THERE IS A LIMIT TO HOW LONG WE 613 00:22:44,663 --> 00:22:46,031 CAN GO BEFORE WE MODULATE TO A 614 00:22:46,098 --> 00:22:46,998 NEW FORM OF LIVING. 615 00:22:47,065 --> 00:22:49,167 WE HAVE NEW TOOLS, WE HAVE 616 00:22:49,234 --> 00:22:52,370 KNOWLEDGE ABOUT THIS VIRUS, WE 617 00:22:52,437 --> 00:22:53,105 HAVE NEW VENTILATION SYSTEMS, 618 00:22:53,171 --> 00:22:56,675 PLANES ARE GOOD TO. 619 00:22:56,742 --> 00:22:57,542 WE KNOW THAT MASKS ARE A 620 00:22:57,609 --> 00:23:00,846 MINIMALLY HELPFUL TOOL. 621 00:23:00,912 --> 00:23:01,646 WE TOLD A LOT OF PEOPLE THEY 622 00:23:01,713 --> 00:23:03,415 WERE MAXIMALLY HELPFUL AND THAT 623 00:23:03,482 --> 00:23:04,216 WAS A BAD IDEA ESPECIALLY FOR 624 00:23:04,282 --> 00:23:05,917 THE VULNERABLE. 625 00:23:05,984 --> 00:23:07,886 >> Bill: WHEN THEY GET WHEN 626 00:23:07,953 --> 00:23:09,855 THEY SAID WE DON'T HAVE TO WEAR 627 00:23:09,921 --> 00:23:10,856 IT WHILE YOU'RE EATING? 628 00:23:10,922 --> 00:23:13,358 OR I SEE THE BASKETBALL PLAYERS 629 00:23:13,425 --> 00:23:15,527 PLAYING, GOUGING EACH OTHER'S 630 00:23:15,594 --> 00:23:17,295 EYES OUT AND THEN THEY GO TO THE 631 00:23:17,362 --> 00:23:19,064 BENCH AND THEY PUT THE MASK 632 00:23:19,131 --> 00:23:20,065 ON -- "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," 633 00:23:20,132 --> 00:23:21,800 THEY DO THE SKETCHES, THEN AT 634 00:23:21,867 --> 00:23:22,601 THE END THEY SAY GOOD NIGHT THEY 635 00:23:22,667 --> 00:23:25,036 HAVE THE MASK ON. 636 00:23:25,103 --> 00:23:26,905 WHAT WORLD AM I LIVING IN WHERE 637 00:23:26,972 --> 00:23:29,841 PEOPLE ARE NOT SEEING THIS 638 00:23:29,908 --> 00:23:30,108 INSANITY? 639 00:23:30,175 --> 00:23:32,043 >> IN THE VERY BEGINNING EVEN 640 00:23:32,110 --> 00:23:34,212 THE CDC SAID YOU BETTER NOT WEAR 641 00:23:34,279 --> 00:23:35,981 A MASK BECAUSE HE WILL TRAP THE 642 00:23:36,047 --> 00:23:37,282 COVID CLOSE TO YOUR FACE BECAUSE 643 00:23:37,349 --> 00:23:40,552 HE WILL DIE INSTANTLY THAT WAY. 644 00:23:40,619 --> 00:23:42,254 I'VE HAD CANCER, THEY ALWAYS SAY 645 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:45,023 WEAR A MASK, YOU'LL BE SAFER, 646 00:23:45,090 --> 00:23:46,324 THEN THEY WERE JUST LYING, THEY 647 00:23:46,391 --> 00:23:49,194 WERE TRYING TO SAVE THE MASKS. 648 00:23:49,261 --> 00:23:51,163 AND THEY ARE LIKE WHY HAVE YOU 649 00:23:51,229 --> 00:23:52,264 LOST FAITH IN AMERICA'S 650 00:23:52,330 --> 00:23:53,431 INSTITUTIONS -- BECAUSE YOU LIED 651 00:23:53,498 --> 00:23:54,800 TO A SET OF OR THE SCARY TIME 652 00:23:54,866 --> 00:23:57,002 AND WE COULD'VE HANDLED THE 653 00:23:57,068 --> 00:23:57,369 TRUTH. 654 00:23:57,435 --> 00:23:58,570 >> Bill: WHAT I FIND SO SAD IS 655 00:23:58,637 --> 00:24:04,576 I WAS AT THE MALL -- 656 00:24:04,643 --> 00:24:05,243 [LAUGHTER] 657 00:24:05,310 --> 00:24:07,312 WE WERE OFF LAST WEEK, I HADN'T 658 00:24:07,379 --> 00:24:09,815 BEEN TO A MALL IN A LONG TIME, I 659 00:24:09,881 --> 00:24:12,117 FELT LIKE THE MERMAID FROM 660 00:24:12,184 --> 00:24:14,052 SPLASH. 661 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:17,556 I WAS LIKE CAN YOU JUST TAKE 662 00:24:17,622 --> 00:24:17,756 CASH? 663 00:24:17,823 --> 00:24:19,624 I'M OLD AND RICH, TAKE THE CASH 664 00:24:19,691 --> 00:24:20,525 COME I CAN'T FIGURE THIS OUT, IT 665 00:24:20,592 --> 00:24:22,160 WAS VERY SAD TO. 666 00:24:22,227 --> 00:24:25,764 WHAT WAS REALLY SAD, THIS IS 667 00:24:25,831 --> 00:24:27,566 CENTURY CITY, A LOT OF IT WAS 668 00:24:27,632 --> 00:24:29,134 OUTSIDE, THE ONLY PEOPLE WEARING 669 00:24:29,201 --> 00:24:32,504 MASKS WERE LIKE 20, THAT'S WHO 670 00:24:32,571 --> 00:24:33,772 IS WEARING THE MASK, THE PEOPLE 671 00:24:33,839 --> 00:24:36,908 LEAST LIKELY TO DIE FROM IT. 672 00:24:36,975 --> 00:24:37,943 I FEEL LIKE THEY HAVE BEEN 673 00:24:38,009 --> 00:24:40,445 INDOCTRINATED IN A WAY -- 674 00:24:40,512 --> 00:24:42,080 >> THE ONLY PEOPLE LESS LIKELY 675 00:24:42,147 --> 00:24:45,250 ARE THE TODDLERS WE MASK 676 00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:45,550 INCESSANTLY. 677 00:24:45,617 --> 00:24:46,785 AT THE BEGINNING OF THE PANDEMIC 678 00:24:46,852 --> 00:24:51,156 THE WORD WAS STAY SAFE, STAY 679 00:24:51,223 --> 00:24:52,090 HOME, THAT'S A VERY SIMPLE 680 00:24:52,157 --> 00:24:54,659 PUBLIC HEALTH MESSAGE BUT IT 681 00:24:54,726 --> 00:24:57,395 ACTUALLY DISCOURAGED AND EVEN 682 00:24:57,462 --> 00:24:59,231 DEMONIZED YOUR RATIONAL RISK 683 00:24:59,297 --> 00:24:59,931 ANALYSIS FOR YOURSELF WHICH IS 684 00:24:59,998 --> 00:25:01,967 SOMETHING WE HAVE TO BE ENGAGED 685 00:25:02,033 --> 00:25:02,200 IN. 686 00:25:02,267 --> 00:25:04,202 WE HAVE TO DECIDE WHAT IS MY 687 00:25:04,269 --> 00:25:05,570 RISK LEVEL, 2-YEAR-OLDS DON'T 688 00:25:05,637 --> 00:25:08,473 HAVE THE SAME RISK LEVEL IS 689 00:25:08,540 --> 00:25:08,807 88-YEAR-OLDS. 690 00:25:08,874 --> 00:25:10,008 THAT'S JUST NOT TRUE, BEING 691 00:25:10,075 --> 00:25:11,176 INDOORS DOESN'T HAVE THE SAME 692 00:25:11,243 --> 00:25:13,879 RISK LEVEL IS BEING OUTDOORS BUT 693 00:25:13,945 --> 00:25:15,280 SEEMINGLY ALL THE OPPOSITE 694 00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:16,448 THINGS, GET THE KIDS OUT OF 695 00:25:16,514 --> 00:25:18,116 SCHOOL WHO ARE THE LEAST 696 00:25:18,183 --> 00:25:18,984 VULNERABLE, CLOSE THE PARKS AND 697 00:25:19,050 --> 00:25:19,684 THE HIKING TRAILS WHICH IS A 698 00:25:19,751 --> 00:25:22,888 THING THAT WE DID AND HAVE 699 00:25:22,954 --> 00:25:25,891 INDOOR-OUTDOOR SPACES THAT ARE 700 00:25:25,957 --> 00:25:26,825 JUST INDOOR AGAIN WHERE YOU CAN 701 00:25:26,892 --> 00:25:29,995 TAKE YOUR MASK OFF. 702 00:25:30,061 --> 00:25:32,197 IS NOT TRUSTWORTHY, THAT'S THE 703 00:25:32,264 --> 00:25:32,631 PROBLEM. 704 00:25:32,697 --> 00:25:33,965 >> Bill: I DON'T KNOW HOW A 705 00:25:34,032 --> 00:25:38,236 COUNTRY THIS DUMB CAN SURVIVE. 706 00:25:38,303 --> 00:25:40,739 >> IT SHOWS HOW GREAT WE ARE 707 00:25:40,805 --> 00:25:42,874 THAT WE CAN BE THIS DUMB AND WE 708 00:25:42,941 --> 00:25:45,210 ARE HERE AND WE SURVIVED. 709 00:25:45,277 --> 00:25:46,778 >> Bill: THE COMPETITION IS 710 00:25:46,845 --> 00:25:51,416 THIN, IT IS, IT'S TRUE. 711 00:25:51,483 --> 00:25:52,450 WHEN I SAW THE KIDS WITH THE 712 00:25:52,517 --> 00:25:54,819 MASK SO I COULD THINK OF WAS 713 00:25:54,886 --> 00:25:56,888 ANXIETY AND RIGHT ON CUE I'M 714 00:25:56,955 --> 00:26:00,392 READING JONATHAN HATES NEW 715 00:26:00,458 --> 00:26:02,794 ARTICLE ABOUT WHY WE HAVE THIS 716 00:26:02,861 --> 00:26:03,428 LEVEL OF ANXIETY AMONG TEENAGERS 717 00:26:03,495 --> 00:26:05,230 COME OFF THE CHARTS. 718 00:26:05,297 --> 00:26:09,167 THIS IS WHAT I READ -- 44% OF 719 00:26:09,234 --> 00:26:10,568 HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS SAID THEY 720 00:26:10,635 --> 00:26:12,871 FELT SAD OR HOPELESS. 721 00:26:12,938 --> 00:26:15,807 A LITTLE PERSPECTIVE, ALL MY 722 00:26:15,874 --> 00:26:18,877 YEAR 17 I WAS SAD AND HOPELESS. 723 00:26:18,944 --> 00:26:20,111 BECAUSE I GOT DUMPED. 724 00:26:20,178 --> 00:26:23,014 WHEN YOU'RE A KID, YOU DON'T SEE 725 00:26:23,081 --> 00:26:24,082 ANYTHING COMING AND EVERYTHING 726 00:26:24,149 --> 00:26:27,452 IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD 727 00:26:27,519 --> 00:26:28,053 EVER -- SOME OF THAT IS THAT. 728 00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:30,055 WHEN YOU'RE A TEENAGER YOU'RE 729 00:26:30,121 --> 00:26:31,289 GOING TO BE SAD AND HOPELESS ALL 730 00:26:31,356 --> 00:26:34,125 THE TIME. 731 00:26:34,192 --> 00:26:36,361 ALSO A 40% INCREASE IN SUCH 732 00:26:36,428 --> 00:26:38,763 FEELINGS IN THE LAST TEN YEARS, 733 00:26:38,830 --> 00:26:39,297 THEY WERE LOOKING FOR THE 734 00:26:39,364 --> 00:26:41,533 REASONS WHY THE KIDS -- THE CDC 735 00:26:41,599 --> 00:26:45,971 IS LOOKING INTO THIS. 736 00:26:46,037 --> 00:26:47,272 29% LOST JOBS, THE PARENTS LOST 737 00:26:47,339 --> 00:26:53,445 JOBS IN THE PANDEMIC. 738 00:26:53,511 --> 00:26:54,879 WE HAVEN'T TALLIED UP ALL THOSE 739 00:26:54,946 --> 00:26:57,215 KINDS OF NEGATIVES. 740 00:26:57,282 --> 00:26:59,084 >> PUBLIC HEALTH IS A KIND OF 741 00:26:59,150 --> 00:27:01,353 HEALTH TOO AND I THINK FOR 742 00:27:01,419 --> 00:27:02,754 ADOLESCENTS, A LITTLE LEEWAY 20 743 00:27:02,821 --> 00:27:05,056 YEARS OLD WITH THE MASKS ON, 744 00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:05,790 REALLY FRIGHTENED THESE KIDS AND 745 00:27:05,857 --> 00:27:09,594 WE TOOK A LOT AWAY FROM THEM. 746 00:27:09,661 --> 00:27:11,963 THEY REALLY WERE LIVING AT 14-15 747 00:27:12,030 --> 00:27:12,564 YEARS OLD WITH THIS IDEA THAT 748 00:27:12,630 --> 00:27:14,265 THEY MIGHT DIE AND THEIR PARENTS 749 00:27:14,332 --> 00:27:16,167 MIGHT DIE, THEY WERE COMPLETELY 750 00:27:16,234 --> 00:27:18,236 ISOLATED. 751 00:27:18,303 --> 00:27:19,771 I THINK -- THERE'S A WHOLE 752 00:27:19,838 --> 00:27:20,638 GENERATION WE ARE GOING TO HAVE 753 00:27:20,705 --> 00:27:22,107 TO LOOK OUT FOR BECAUSE WE DID 754 00:27:22,173 --> 00:27:24,275 SOMETHING PRETTY TERRIBLE TO 755 00:27:24,342 --> 00:27:24,476 THEM. 756 00:27:24,542 --> 00:27:25,944 >> I HAVE AN IDEA -- THE SCHOOLS 757 00:27:26,011 --> 00:27:29,514 WERE CLOSED FOR A FUCKING YEAR 758 00:27:29,581 --> 00:27:31,950 AND ALL THE MAJOR BLUE CITIES, 759 00:27:32,017 --> 00:27:33,618 THEY WERE CLOSED FOR A YEAR TO 760 00:27:33,685 --> 00:27:35,353 IN PERSON LEARNING, KIDS LOST 761 00:27:35,420 --> 00:27:36,654 THE STRUCTURE, THEY LOST 762 00:27:36,721 --> 00:27:37,455 FRIENDS, THEY LOST ALL THEIR 763 00:27:37,522 --> 00:27:40,025 EXTRA CURRICULAR'S, SPORTS, 764 00:27:40,091 --> 00:27:40,859 THINGS THAT MAKE THEM HEALTHIER, 765 00:27:40,925 --> 00:27:43,161 PLACES OF WORSHIP. 766 00:27:43,228 --> 00:27:45,030 THEY LOST ALL OF THOSE THINGS 767 00:27:45,096 --> 00:27:45,997 AND THEY WERE TOLD EVEN THOUGH 768 00:27:46,064 --> 00:27:48,433 THEY WERE SUPER LOW RISK THAT 769 00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:50,435 THEY WERE IN DANGER OF DYING OR 770 00:27:50,502 --> 00:27:51,002 IN DANGER OF KILLING THEIR 771 00:27:51,069 --> 00:27:57,008 GRANDMA NATI AND THEY SHOULDN'T 772 00:27:57,075 --> 00:27:58,510 COMPLAIN ABOUT IT, THAT IS A BAD 773 00:27:58,576 --> 00:28:00,311 MESSAGE FOR CHILDREN AND IT HURT 774 00:28:00,378 --> 00:28:00,845 A LOT OF THEM. 775 00:28:00,912 --> 00:28:02,981 >> Bill: IT BOTHERS ME BECAUSE 776 00:28:03,048 --> 00:28:03,248 IT'S FAKE. 777 00:28:03,314 --> 00:28:05,750 I'M NOT SAYING THERE ARE SOME 778 00:28:05,817 --> 00:28:06,885 PEOPLE WHO LIVE WITH THEIR 779 00:28:06,951 --> 00:28:08,486 GRANDMA'S BUT THIS IS A COUNTRY 780 00:28:08,553 --> 00:28:09,587 UNLIKE MOST COUNTRIES IN THE 781 00:28:09,654 --> 00:28:11,756 WORLD THAT DOES NOT INVITE THE 782 00:28:11,823 --> 00:28:15,360 ELDERLY INTO OUR OWN HOMES. 783 00:28:15,427 --> 00:28:16,761 HOW MANY OF YOU YOUNG PEOPLE WHO 784 00:28:16,828 --> 00:28:20,165 WERE SO WORRIED ABOUT GIVING IT 785 00:28:20,231 --> 00:28:21,933 TO GRANDMA LIVE WITH YOUR 786 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:22,167 GRANDMA? 787 00:28:22,233 --> 00:28:24,102 >> IT DISPROPORTIONALLY HIT 788 00:28:24,169 --> 00:28:31,176 PEOPLE -- IN THE MIDDLE CLASS 789 00:28:31,242 --> 00:28:31,776 THE GATED COMMUNITY, I CAN'T 790 00:28:31,843 --> 00:28:32,377 WAIT TO GET TO ONE, IT SOUNDS 791 00:28:32,444 --> 00:28:33,011 FANTASTIC -- I THINK THERE ARE A 792 00:28:33,078 --> 00:28:36,147 LOT OF LOWER INCOME -- MEALS ARE 793 00:28:36,214 --> 00:28:39,050 TAKING CARE OF. 794 00:28:39,117 --> 00:28:41,252 THIS A LOT OF LOW INCOME KIDS IN 795 00:28:41,319 --> 00:28:42,487 AMERICA WHERE GRANDMA REALLY 796 00:28:42,554 --> 00:28:44,422 TAKES CARE OF THEM, IT DOESN'T 797 00:28:44,489 --> 00:28:45,423 JUST CARETAKING BUT IT'S THE 798 00:28:45,490 --> 00:28:46,658 PERSON WHO LOVES THEM THE MOST 799 00:28:46,724 --> 00:28:49,094 AND I THINK THEY HAVE HAD A HUGE 800 00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:49,294 LOSS. 801 00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:53,164 >> Bill: THERE DOES EXIST THAT 802 00:28:53,231 --> 00:28:54,332 BUT ALSO SOMETHING DISINGENUOUS 803 00:28:54,399 --> 00:28:55,867 ABOUT THAT, PRETENDING THAT WE 804 00:28:55,934 --> 00:28:57,569 ARE SHARING OUR LIVES WITH 805 00:28:57,635 --> 00:28:59,204 ELDERLY PEOPLE WHO ARE 806 00:28:59,270 --> 00:28:59,771 SEGREGATED FROM OUR LIVES. 807 00:28:59,838 --> 00:29:04,476 YOU GO TO LONDON AND PEOPLE 808 00:29:04,542 --> 00:29:08,413 DRINK DIFFERENT AGES IN THE SAME 809 00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:09,414 PUB, UNIVERSITY PEOPLE OF 810 00:29:09,481 --> 00:29:11,616 DIFFERENT AGES IN A BAR IN 811 00:29:11,683 --> 00:29:13,184 AMERICA. 812 00:29:13,251 --> 00:29:15,954 >> WE DID SEGREGATE THEM INTO 813 00:29:16,020 --> 00:29:17,122 ANDREW CUOMO'S REST HOMES WHICH 814 00:29:17,188 --> 00:29:18,156 WAS A BAD IDEA COME ALL THE 815 00:29:18,223 --> 00:29:21,626 COVID POSITIVE ONES. 816 00:29:21,693 --> 00:29:23,428 I THINK THERE IS A LIMIT ON 817 00:29:23,495 --> 00:29:25,029 POWER HERE AND A LIMIT ON WHAT 818 00:29:25,096 --> 00:29:26,898 PUBLIC HEALTH CAN DO, THEY SELL 819 00:29:26,965 --> 00:29:28,333 THE MESSAGE THEY COULDN'T MAKE 820 00:29:28,399 --> 00:29:33,171 GOOD ON AND FAUCI COMES OUT THIS 821 00:29:33,238 --> 00:29:34,973 WEEK AGAIN AND I'M NOT GOING TO 822 00:29:35,039 --> 00:29:38,576 DO THE ACCENT AND HATE CRIME 823 00:29:38,643 --> 00:29:40,411 ITALIAN AMERICANS -- WHO SAYS 824 00:29:40,478 --> 00:29:41,446 THE COURT SHOULDN'T BE TELLING 825 00:29:41,513 --> 00:29:43,748 ME WHAT TO DO, I'M THE UNELECTED 826 00:29:43,815 --> 00:29:44,449 HEALTH OFFICIAL. 827 00:29:44,516 --> 00:29:45,984 THAT'S NOT HOW THE POWER 828 00:29:46,050 --> 00:29:47,385 STRUCTURE WORKS IN THIS COUNTRY 829 00:29:47,452 --> 00:29:48,620 AND THEY MADE PROMISES THEY 830 00:29:48,686 --> 00:29:50,021 COULDN'T KEEP AND THEY TOLD 831 00:29:50,088 --> 00:29:52,790 PEOPLE THEY COULD KEEP THEM FROM 832 00:29:52,857 --> 00:29:55,393 DYING, THIS IS AN EVER PRESENT 833 00:29:55,460 --> 00:29:56,094 THREAT. 834 00:29:56,161 --> 00:29:57,795 WHEN THE MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS 835 00:29:57,862 --> 00:29:59,097 HAPPENED FOR THESE YOUNG 836 00:29:59,164 --> 00:30:00,798 CHILDREN, THE CDC AND ALL THE 837 00:30:00,865 --> 00:30:02,200 HEALTH OFFICIALS IN THE SCHOOL 838 00:30:02,267 --> 00:30:03,601 OFFICIALS WHO TOLD US CLOSING 839 00:30:03,668 --> 00:30:05,837 SCHOOLS WOULD BE NO BIG DEAL AND 840 00:30:05,904 --> 00:30:07,105 LEARNING LOSS WAS NOT A THING 841 00:30:07,172 --> 00:30:12,510 AND PUTTING THEM ON ZOOM -- THEY 842 00:30:12,577 --> 00:30:14,612 TELL US THEY'RE GOING TO FIX THE 843 00:30:14,679 --> 00:30:15,480 MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS. 844 00:30:15,547 --> 00:30:16,781 I LOOK AT THE SURGEON GENERAL'S 845 00:30:16,848 --> 00:30:18,149 REPORT THAT CAME OUT ABOUT THE 846 00:30:18,216 --> 00:30:22,253 YOUTH MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS IN 847 00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:22,520 DECEMBER. 848 00:30:22,587 --> 00:30:23,121 CLOSING SCHOOLS FOR A YEAR IS 849 00:30:23,188 --> 00:30:26,057 LITERALLY A FOOTNOTE IN THIS 850 00:30:26,124 --> 00:30:27,725 REPORT AND IF YOU CAN'T DEAL 851 00:30:27,792 --> 00:30:28,593 WITH THAT FAILURE, THEN YOU 852 00:30:28,660 --> 00:30:32,163 CAN'T FIX THE PROBLEM. 853 00:30:32,230 --> 00:30:33,198 >> Bill: YOU CAN'T FIX THE 854 00:30:33,264 --> 00:30:34,566 PROBLEM IF YOU DON'T LEVEL WITH 855 00:30:34,632 --> 00:30:37,769 THE PEOPLE AND SAY IT'S A VIRUS, 856 00:30:37,835 --> 00:30:38,770 IT'S ALREADY EVERYWHERE, WE ARE 857 00:30:38,836 --> 00:30:39,404 BREATHING IT RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE 858 00:30:39,470 --> 00:30:43,474 SOAKING IN IT. 859 00:30:43,541 --> 00:30:45,777 VIRUSES ARE IN THE AIR, YOU HAVE 860 00:30:45,843 --> 00:30:50,415 TO WIN THIS BATTLE INTERNALLY. 861 00:30:50,481 --> 00:30:51,382 >> A LOT OF THE PROBLEM AS IT 862 00:30:51,449 --> 00:30:53,051 STARTED WITH TRUMP AND HE WAS 863 00:30:53,117 --> 00:30:56,154 LYING TO US AND THE PEOPLE WHO 864 00:30:56,221 --> 00:30:57,055 SEEMED MORE SINCERE WITH THE 865 00:30:57,121 --> 00:30:58,022 ONES WHO WEREN'T SAYING IT WAS 866 00:30:58,089 --> 00:31:00,825 GOING TO BE OVER BY EASTER, YOU 867 00:31:00,892 --> 00:31:01,759 HAD ONE OF THE OTHER TO BELIEVE 868 00:31:01,826 --> 00:31:02,327 IN AND WE FOLLOWED IN THAT 869 00:31:02,393 --> 00:31:03,161 TRADITION AND ENDED UP WHERE WE 870 00:31:03,228 --> 00:31:05,563 DID. 871 00:31:05,630 --> 00:31:06,898 >> IT WAS FINE TO BELIEVE THAT 872 00:31:06,965 --> 00:31:10,235 IN THE BEGINNING AND THE 873 00:31:10,301 --> 00:31:11,202 SHIFTING WAS THE PART THAT 874 00:31:11,269 --> 00:31:12,437 COULDN'T HAPPEN AND FOR A LOT OF 875 00:31:12,503 --> 00:31:13,738 PEOPLE IT COULDN'T HAPPEN 876 00:31:13,805 --> 00:31:16,474 BECAUSE ORANGE MAN BAD WAS 877 00:31:16,541 --> 00:31:17,008 SAYING THE OPPOSITE THING. 878 00:31:17,075 --> 00:31:20,411 >> Bill: IT'S ALWAYS THAT. 879 00:31:20,478 --> 00:31:22,880 ONE MORE NOTE ABOUT ANXIETY IN 880 00:31:22,947 --> 00:31:25,817 AMERICA, THIS STORY, I DON'T 881 00:31:25,883 --> 00:31:26,985 USUALLY READ THESE INTERESTING 882 00:31:27,051 --> 00:31:28,119 PERSONAL PIECES PLUS A KENTUCKY 883 00:31:28,186 --> 00:31:29,354 MAN WHO WAS FIRED DAYS AFTER HE 884 00:31:29,420 --> 00:31:32,690 HAD A PANIC ATTACK AT HIS 885 00:31:32,757 --> 00:31:34,692 WORKPLACE OVER AN UNWANTED 886 00:31:34,759 --> 00:31:36,060 BIRTHDAY PARTY WAS AWARDED FOUR 887 00:31:36,127 --> 00:31:41,199 $150,000 BY A JURY. 888 00:31:41,266 --> 00:31:43,501 SO HE HAS PANIC ISSUES, HE 889 00:31:43,568 --> 00:31:44,202 DIDN'T WANT THE BIRTHDAY 890 00:31:44,269 --> 00:31:46,471 PARTY -- WE ARE GOING TO THE 891 00:31:46,537 --> 00:31:49,407 BREAK ROOM EVERYBODY, IT'S BOB'S 892 00:31:49,474 --> 00:31:51,042 BIRTHDAY, HE DIDN'T WANT IT. 893 00:31:51,109 --> 00:31:55,847 BUT THEY DID IT ANYWAY. 894 00:31:55,913 --> 00:31:57,348 SO HE SUES, THIS IS THE RESPONSE 895 00:31:57,415 --> 00:31:59,917 FROM THE COMPANY ITSELF, AND 896 00:31:59,984 --> 00:32:02,287 THEY FIRED HIM BECAUSE HE WAS 897 00:32:02,353 --> 00:32:05,356 VIOLENT IN A MEETING AFTER THIS 898 00:32:05,423 --> 00:32:07,458 EVENT AND HAD SCARED HIS 899 00:32:07,525 --> 00:32:09,627 SUPERVISORS. 900 00:32:09,694 --> 00:32:10,228 THE CHIEF OPERATING OFFICER OF 901 00:32:10,295 --> 00:32:11,829 THE COMPANY SAID THEY WERE IN 902 00:32:11,896 --> 00:32:12,430 FEAR OF PHYSICAL HARM DURING 903 00:32:12,497 --> 00:32:15,033 THAT MOMENT. 904 00:32:15,099 --> 00:32:16,534 OH, MY GOD, A MOMENT OF FEAR 905 00:32:16,601 --> 00:32:18,002 FROM THE GUY WHO CAN TAKE A 906 00:32:18,069 --> 00:32:20,972 BIRTHDAY PARTY? 907 00:32:21,039 --> 00:32:24,776 I HATE BOTH OF THESE PARTIES. 908 00:32:24,842 --> 00:32:27,845 HOW DOES A COUNTRY THAT IS SO 909 00:32:27,912 --> 00:32:28,346 FRAIL SURVIVE? 910 00:32:28,413 --> 00:32:31,582 >> THE PSA HERE IS NOBODY LIKES 911 00:32:31,649 --> 00:32:34,085 A SURPRISE PARTY, NO ONE HAS 912 00:32:34,152 --> 00:32:37,288 EVER SAID OH, MY GOSH, -- 913 00:32:37,355 --> 00:32:40,525 [APPLAUSE] 914 00:32:40,591 --> 00:32:42,393 THAT'S NOT GOOD TO. 915 00:32:42,460 --> 00:32:43,361 THESE CASES ARE MORE COMPLEX 916 00:32:43,428 --> 00:32:45,129 THAN YOU THINK, HE HAD GONE IN 917 00:32:45,196 --> 00:32:46,998 AND SAID I HAD SEVERE MENTAL 918 00:32:47,065 --> 00:32:47,799 PROBLEMS, THEY HAVE THIS 919 00:32:47,865 --> 00:32:49,200 BIRTHDAY PARTY TRADITION, DON'T 920 00:32:49,267 --> 00:32:51,769 DO IT, THAT PERSON WASN'T 921 00:32:51,836 --> 00:32:54,238 THERE -- FROM AN HR STANDPOINT 922 00:32:54,305 --> 00:32:55,840 THE COMPANY WAS TOTALLY IN THE 923 00:32:55,907 --> 00:32:56,774 WRONG END EVERY STEP OF THE WAY 924 00:32:56,841 --> 00:32:58,876 THEY WERE IN THE WRONG. 925 00:32:58,943 --> 00:33:01,245 >> Bill: I'M LOOKING AT THE 926 00:33:01,312 --> 00:33:03,715 BIGGER ISSUE, WHY CAN'T ANYONE 927 00:33:03,781 --> 00:33:08,953 JUST GO SORRY AND MOVE ON. 928 00:33:09,020 --> 00:33:11,589 AS OPPOSED TO I WAS SCARED FOR 929 00:33:11,656 --> 00:33:13,524 MY LIFE AND I'M SUING YOU FOR A 930 00:33:13,591 --> 00:33:16,961 BIRTHDAY PARTY! 931 00:33:17,028 --> 00:33:19,931 I HAVE LIMITED SYMPATHY FOR 932 00:33:19,997 --> 00:33:21,899 WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THIS 933 00:33:21,966 --> 00:33:24,802 FUCKING DUMB COUNTRY, I JUST DO. 934 00:33:24,869 --> 00:33:27,472 >> I WOULD LIKE TO SAY I HAVE 935 00:33:27,538 --> 00:33:31,042 WORKED IN CABLE NEWS AND NOBODY 936 00:33:31,109 --> 00:33:32,543 HAS BEEN ENOUGH OF A DICK TO ME 937 00:33:32,610 --> 00:33:36,614 TO GET PAID LIKE THAT. 938 00:33:36,681 --> 00:33:37,815 [LAUGHTER] 939 00:33:37,882 --> 00:33:39,450 TO YOUR POINT, TRAUMA IS A REAL 940 00:33:39,517 --> 00:33:39,984 THING, THESE ARE REAL ISSUES 941 00:33:40,051 --> 00:33:42,820 THAT PEOPLE DEAL WITH. 942 00:33:42,887 --> 00:33:44,589 I'M A SUBURBAN WHITE LADY, IT'S 943 00:33:44,655 --> 00:33:47,225 THE AFFLICTION OF MY PEOPLE IS 944 00:33:47,291 --> 00:33:48,860 ANXIETY. 945 00:33:48,926 --> 00:33:52,397 NOT EVERY ICKY FEELING IS TRAUMA 946 00:33:52,463 --> 00:33:55,133 AND BLOW THESE THINGS UP, WE 947 00:33:55,199 --> 00:33:57,368 LOSE OUR ABILITY TO DEAL WITH 948 00:33:57,435 --> 00:33:57,568 THEM. 949 00:33:57,635 --> 00:34:01,939 >> Bill: OKAY, I HESITATE TO 950 00:34:02,006 --> 00:34:04,709 TALK ABOUT RUSSIA EVERY WEEK 951 00:34:04,776 --> 00:34:08,012 BECAUSE IT'S SO DEPRESSING AND 952 00:34:08,079 --> 00:34:10,815 THERE'S NOTHING REALLY I CAN ADD 953 00:34:10,882 --> 00:34:12,016 TO IT BUT THE SANCTIONS 954 00:34:12,083 --> 00:34:13,651 INTERESTINGLY -- IT'S FUNNY, THE 955 00:34:13,718 --> 00:34:14,752 AMERICAN PEOPLE YOU'VE GOT TO 956 00:34:14,819 --> 00:34:15,820 LOVE THEM. 957 00:34:15,887 --> 00:34:17,121 ON THE ONE HAND THE POLLS SAY 958 00:34:17,188 --> 00:34:18,089 BIDEN SHOULD GET TOUGHER WITH 959 00:34:18,156 --> 00:34:19,557 RUSSIA BUT THEY ALSO SAY DON'T 960 00:34:19,624 --> 00:34:21,759 SEND TROOPS. 961 00:34:21,826 --> 00:34:23,928 I DON'T KNOW WHAT UNCLE JOE IS 962 00:34:23,995 --> 00:34:24,662 SUPPOSED TO DO. 963 00:34:24,729 --> 00:34:25,997 THE SANCTIONS I THINK ARE 964 00:34:26,063 --> 00:34:27,832 WORKING, THEY ARE CREATING A LOT 965 00:34:27,899 --> 00:34:30,001 OF ECONOMIC PAIN IN RUSSIA. 966 00:34:30,067 --> 00:34:30,968 I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOME OF THE 967 00:34:31,035 --> 00:34:32,837 COMPANIES -- A LOT OF THEM 968 00:34:32,904 --> 00:34:35,840 PULLED OUT, RUSSIA IS TRYING TO 969 00:34:35,907 --> 00:34:36,674 CREATE -- THEY FUNDED NEW 970 00:34:36,741 --> 00:34:39,811 COMPANIES TO TAKE THE PLACE -- 971 00:34:39,877 --> 00:34:40,778 McDONALD'S PULLED OUT. 972 00:34:40,845 --> 00:34:42,547 THIS IS REAL -- LOOK AT THAT. 973 00:34:42,613 --> 00:34:46,050 THAT IS THE KNOCKOFF THEY HAVE 974 00:34:46,117 --> 00:34:47,552 OF -- IKEA PULLED OUT. 975 00:34:47,618 --> 00:34:49,053 THIS IS A REAL RUSSIAN COMPANY, 976 00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:53,124 THEY STRIP OFF THE LOGO. 977 00:34:53,191 --> 00:34:54,225 INSTAGRAM, THAT IS THEIR 978 00:34:54,292 --> 00:34:55,560 INSTAGRAM -- I DON'T KNOW WHAT 979 00:34:55,626 --> 00:34:56,627 THE WORDS SAY. 980 00:34:56,694 --> 00:34:58,229 WE HAVE SOME OTHERS, WOULD YOU 981 00:34:58,296 --> 00:34:59,597 LIKE TO SEE SOME OF THE OTHERS? 982 00:34:59,664 --> 00:35:03,935 I KNEW YOU WOULD. 983 00:35:04,001 --> 00:35:07,238 THIS I'M SUSPICIOUS 984 00:35:07,305 --> 00:35:09,907 CZARKIST TUNA. 985 00:35:09,974 --> 00:35:12,443 OF. 986 00:35:12,510 --> 00:35:13,177 [LAUGHTER] 987 00:35:13,244 --> 00:35:15,513 THIS I THINK IS RIDICULOUS. 988 00:35:15,580 --> 00:35:20,952 SQUEEGEE WATER. 989 00:35:21,018 --> 00:35:24,789 [LAUGHTER] 990 00:35:24,856 --> 00:35:25,022 THIS -- 991 00:35:25,089 --> 00:35:28,693 IMPOSSIBLE CABBAGE. 992 00:35:28,759 --> 00:35:33,564 OH, YES. 993 00:35:33,631 --> 00:35:33,831 [LAUGHTER] 994 00:35:33,898 --> 00:35:36,267 CAMPBELL'S CREAM OF DON'T ASK. 995 00:35:36,334 --> 00:35:36,534 [LAUGHTER] 996 00:35:36,601 --> 00:35:37,502 [APPLAUSE] 997 00:35:37,568 --> 00:35:42,340 KRAFT MACARONI AND SHOE. 998 00:35:42,406 --> 00:35:42,607 [LAUGHTER] 999 00:35:42,673 --> 00:35:46,811 [APPLAUSE] 1000 00:35:46,878 --> 00:35:47,645 I THINK IT'S SUSPICIOUS. 1001 00:35:47,712 --> 00:35:48,412 LOOK AT THIS ONE. 1002 00:35:48,479 --> 00:35:53,351 YOU MUST BELIEVE IT'S BUTTER. 1003 00:35:53,417 --> 00:35:54,519 GEE, YURI'S HAIR SMELLS 1004 00:35:54,585 --> 00:35:57,088 TERRIFIC. 1005 00:35:57,154 --> 00:35:57,355 [LAUGHTER] 1006 00:35:57,421 --> 00:35:59,457 [APPLAUSE] 1007 00:35:59,524 --> 00:36:00,525 PUTINA DOG CHOW WITH REAL 1008 00:36:00,591 --> 00:36:05,830 JOURNALIST. 1009 00:36:05,897 --> 00:36:08,366 [LAUGHTER] 1010 00:36:08,432 --> 00:36:12,236 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1011 00:36:12,303 --> 00:36:13,404 I WANT TO GO BACK TO WHAT YOU 1012 00:36:13,471 --> 00:36:15,540 WERE SAYING A MINUTE TO GO, 1013 00:36:15,606 --> 00:36:16,541 EVERYTHING COMES DOWN TO RED 1014 00:36:16,607 --> 00:36:19,143 TEAM-BLUE TEAM. 1015 00:36:19,210 --> 00:36:20,144 I'M READING ABOUT DISNEY, I FEEL 1016 00:36:20,211 --> 00:36:22,880 LIKE IT'S ONE OF THE SADDEST 1017 00:36:22,947 --> 00:36:24,248 STORIES BECAUSE DISNEY OF ALL 1018 00:36:24,315 --> 00:36:26,450 THE THINGS I THOUGHT WOULD NEVER 1019 00:36:26,517 --> 00:36:26,851 BECOME POLITICAL. 1020 00:36:26,918 --> 00:36:28,719 YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT A GUY WHO 1021 00:36:28,786 --> 00:36:30,021 DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT 1022 00:36:30,087 --> 00:36:30,955 DISNEY, I WAS NEVER INTERESTED 1023 00:36:31,022 --> 00:36:36,394 IN ANYTHING THEY MADE, I'M NOTA 1024 00:36:36,460 --> 00:36:37,528 CHILD, EVEN WHEN I WAS A CHILD I 1025 00:36:37,595 --> 00:36:41,599 WASN'T INTERESTED IN CHILDISH 1026 00:36:41,666 --> 00:36:43,301 THINGS AND THEY FIRED ME ONCE, I 1027 00:36:43,367 --> 00:36:47,805 HAVE EVERY REASON TO HATE THEM. 1028 00:36:47,872 --> 00:36:48,539 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1029 00:36:48,606 --> 00:36:50,575 BUT I DON'T HATE THEM, I FEEL 1030 00:36:50,641 --> 00:36:51,576 SORRY FOR THEM. 1031 00:36:51,642 --> 00:36:52,944 BECAUSE THEY LIVE IN THIS 1032 00:36:53,010 --> 00:36:54,178 COUNTRY WHERE NOTHING IS EVER 1033 00:36:54,245 --> 00:36:56,213 ENOUGH. 1034 00:36:56,280 --> 00:37:01,218 AT FIRST FLORIDA PAST THE DON'T 1035 00:37:01,285 --> 00:37:03,421 SAY GAY LAW, DISNEY DIDN'T SAY 1036 00:37:03,487 --> 00:37:04,388 ANYTHING, OKAY, WE JUST MAKE 1037 00:37:04,455 --> 00:37:11,395 FAIRIES AND ELVES. 1038 00:37:11,462 --> 00:37:12,630 THEY GOT ALL SORTS OF SHIT FROM 1039 00:37:12,697 --> 00:37:14,799 THE LEFT FOR THAT, THAN THEY ARE 1040 00:37:14,865 --> 00:37:18,536 LIKE OKAY BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS 1041 00:37:18,603 --> 00:37:20,805 WERE ONE OF THE MOST GAY 1042 00:37:20,871 --> 00:37:21,339 FRIENDLY COMPANIES IN THE 1043 00:37:21,405 --> 00:37:24,642 WORLD -- RON DeSANTIS IS 1044 00:37:24,709 --> 00:37:26,010 DEMAGOGUE ANGUS BUT HE WANTS TO 1045 00:37:26,077 --> 00:37:27,411 STOP THEM FROM HAVING THEIR 1046 00:37:27,478 --> 00:37:28,579 VATICAN STATUS AND THEY JUST 1047 00:37:28,646 --> 00:37:34,518 WANT TO GET PEOPLE IN THE TEACU 1048 00:37:34,585 --> 00:37:34,752 TEACUP. 1049 00:37:34,819 --> 00:37:36,921 [LAUGHTER] 1050 00:37:36,988 --> 00:37:37,588 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1051 00:37:37,655 --> 00:37:38,756 WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS? 1052 00:37:38,823 --> 00:37:40,758 >> I DO HATE THEM, I WANTED TO 1053 00:37:40,825 --> 00:37:42,760 GO AS A KID BUT NOW I DO HATE 1054 00:37:42,827 --> 00:37:44,996 THEM BECAUSE BELIEVE IN 1055 00:37:45,062 --> 00:37:46,564 SOMETHING. 1056 00:37:46,631 --> 00:37:47,498 ALWAYS THE FIRST COMPANY IN THE 1057 00:37:47,565 --> 00:37:50,968 COUNTRY TO HAVE BENEFITS FOR GAY 1058 00:37:51,035 --> 00:37:52,570 PARTNERS, DOMESTIC PARTNERS AND 1059 00:37:52,637 --> 00:37:54,639 THEN YOU GO NOWHERE WHEN THERE'S 1060 00:37:54,705 --> 00:37:55,840 THIS NEW BILL, THEN ALL OF A 1061 00:37:55,906 --> 00:37:56,974 SUDDEN YOU HAVE DONE SOMETHING 1062 00:37:57,041 --> 00:37:59,210 ELSE AND YOU TURN AROUND, HAVE A 1063 00:37:59,276 --> 00:37:59,844 BACKBONE, BELIEVE IN SOMETHING 1064 00:37:59,910 --> 00:38:03,080 AND STICK TO. 1065 00:38:03,147 --> 00:38:07,551 [APPLAUSE] 1066 00:38:07,618 --> 00:38:09,520 >> Bill: SO THEY HAVE TO WEIGH 1067 00:38:09,587 --> 00:38:11,555 IN ON EVERY POLITICAL ISSUE? 1068 00:38:11,622 --> 00:38:13,691 >> THE KEY MIGHT BE NEUTRALITY 1069 00:38:13,758 --> 00:38:17,161 ON THESE BIG CULTURE WAR ISSUES. 1070 00:38:17,228 --> 00:38:17,862 THERE'S A MORAL QUESTION HERE 1071 00:38:17,928 --> 00:38:20,131 WHERE I THINK THE LIMITS OF THE 1072 00:38:20,197 --> 00:38:21,332 GOVERNMENT POWER, YOU SHOULDN'T 1073 00:38:21,399 --> 00:38:24,168 BE PUNISHING YOUR POLITICAL 1074 00:38:24,235 --> 00:38:25,970 ADVERSARY BECAUSE THEY DID SOME 1075 00:38:26,037 --> 00:38:27,605 FREEDOM OF SPEECH -- THAT'S A 1076 00:38:27,672 --> 00:38:28,472 BAD IDEA. 1077 00:38:28,539 --> 00:38:29,106 BUT THERE'S THE POLITICAL PART 1078 00:38:29,173 --> 00:38:31,976 WHICH I THINK RON DeSANTIS AND 1079 00:38:32,043 --> 00:38:32,977 PEOPLE WHO AGREE WITH THIS SAY 1080 00:38:33,044 --> 00:38:35,579 WE ARE GOING TO FIX THIS 1081 00:38:35,646 --> 00:38:36,714 IMBALANCE WHERE SIX WOKE 1082 00:38:36,781 --> 00:38:39,417 EMPLOYEES AT DISNEY SAY YOU GUYS 1083 00:38:39,483 --> 00:38:40,317 GOT TO GO AFTER THE VOTERS OF 1084 00:38:40,384 --> 00:38:41,686 FLORIDA WHO PUT ALL THESE GUYS 1085 00:38:41,752 --> 00:38:45,823 INTO OFFICE AND FLORIDA GOES 1086 00:38:45,890 --> 00:38:48,392 KNOW AND THAT'S NOT A BAD 1087 00:38:48,459 --> 00:38:49,727 POLITICAL MOVE BECAUSE A LOT OF 1088 00:38:49,794 --> 00:38:51,195 PEOPLE TO WANT SOMEONE TO STAND 1089 00:38:51,262 --> 00:38:52,263 UP TO THOSE SIX EMPLOYEES 1090 00:38:52,329 --> 00:38:55,933 INSTEAD OF DISNEY FOLDING. 1091 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:56,634 JUST BE A NONCOMBATANT. 1092 00:38:56,701 --> 00:39:00,237 >> I THINK IT'S MORE THAN SIX. 1093 00:39:00,304 --> 00:39:02,573 >> THERE'S A PATTERN OF PEOPLE 1094 00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:05,409 KNUCKLING UNDER TO VERY SMALL 1095 00:39:05,476 --> 00:39:06,610 GROUPS OF VERY VOCAL ACTIVISTS 1096 00:39:06,677 --> 00:39:06,977 ON THESE THINGS. 1097 00:39:07,044 --> 00:39:09,613 >> I THINK ANYTHING THAT DEALS 1098 00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:11,615 WITH CHILDREN IS IN A HARD SPOT 1099 00:39:11,682 --> 00:39:12,817 RIGHT NOW, THE COUNTRY IS 1100 00:39:12,883 --> 00:39:15,186 CHANGING AND THERE ARE MORE AND 1101 00:39:15,252 --> 00:39:16,487 MORE YOUNG, GAY PARENTS AND KIDS 1102 00:39:16,554 --> 00:39:18,055 ARE MORE OPEN MINDED AND AWARE 1103 00:39:18,122 --> 00:39:19,557 OF THINGS. 1104 00:39:19,623 --> 00:39:20,191 I THINK DISNEY WASN'T TERRIBLY 1105 00:39:20,257 --> 00:39:21,759 COURAGEOUS IN THE BEGINNING, IF 1106 00:39:21,826 --> 00:39:22,893 THEY REALLY HAD CHILDREN'S 1107 00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:24,161 WELL-BEING IN MIND AND IF THEY 1108 00:39:24,228 --> 00:39:25,362 WERE DOING IT BECAUSE THEY THINK 1109 00:39:25,429 --> 00:39:27,998 THIS IS A BAD THING FOR 1110 00:39:28,065 --> 00:39:29,700 CHILDREN, THAT IS INTERESTING AS 1111 00:39:29,767 --> 00:39:30,067 WELL. 1112 00:39:30,134 --> 00:39:31,001 >> Bill: IT HINGES ON WHETHER 1113 00:39:31,068 --> 00:39:31,736 THERE REALLY IS SOMETHING GOING 1114 00:39:31,802 --> 00:39:35,239 ON IN THE SCHOOLS BUT NEVER WAS 1115 00:39:35,306 --> 00:39:35,906 GOING ON THERE BEFORE AND MAYBE 1116 00:39:35,973 --> 00:39:38,743 SHOULD BE GOING ON. 1117 00:39:38,809 --> 00:39:40,311 WE GOT INFORMATION TODAY ABOUT 1118 00:39:40,377 --> 00:39:42,379 THIS, THIS IS ABOUT WHAT IS 1119 00:39:42,446 --> 00:39:44,348 GOING ON IN SCHOOLS ALL ACROSS 1120 00:39:44,415 --> 00:39:45,549 THE COUNTRY BUT FLORIDA IS OF 1121 00:39:45,616 --> 00:39:46,150 COURSE THE FOCAL POINT BECAUSE 1122 00:39:46,217 --> 00:39:52,323 IT'S FLORIDA. 1123 00:39:52,389 --> 00:39:55,159 THEY TOOK OUT 41 TEXTBOOKS, MATH 1124 00:39:55,226 --> 00:39:56,527 TEXTBOOKS AND AT THE BEGINNING 1125 00:39:56,594 --> 00:39:58,028 OF THE WEEK WE DIDN'T KNOW WHY. 1126 00:39:58,095 --> 00:39:59,764 THEY SAID THERE ARE THINGS IN 1127 00:39:59,830 --> 00:40:02,700 THERE THAT ARE INAPPROPRIATE FOR 1128 00:40:02,767 --> 00:40:02,967 CHILDREN. 1129 00:40:03,033 --> 00:40:04,034 TODAY THEY RELEASED FOUR 1130 00:40:04,101 --> 00:40:04,735 EXAMPLES. 1131 00:40:04,802 --> 00:40:05,603 THIS JUST HAPPENED BEFORE WE 1132 00:40:05,669 --> 00:40:07,371 CAME OUT HERE, I READ THROUGH 1133 00:40:07,438 --> 00:40:10,307 THEM -- A LOT OF IT I FEEL LIKE 1134 00:40:10,374 --> 00:40:11,642 OKAY, KIDS SHOULD HAVE EMPATHY 1135 00:40:11,709 --> 00:40:12,610 WHEN THEY ARE LEARNING. 1136 00:40:12,676 --> 00:40:14,578 FINE, I'M OKAY WITH THAT. 1137 00:40:14,645 --> 00:40:17,648 MOST OF IT I THOUGHT WAS KIND OF 1138 00:40:17,715 --> 00:40:18,949 A NOTHING BURGER BUT HERE'S 1139 00:40:19,016 --> 00:40:21,852 ONE -- MEASURING RACIAL -- THIS 1140 00:40:21,919 --> 00:40:24,922 IS A MATH QUESTION. 1141 00:40:24,989 --> 00:40:26,390 MEASURING RACIAL PREJUDICE BY 1142 00:40:26,457 --> 00:40:27,558 POLITICAL IDENTIFICATION, DO WE 1143 00:40:27,625 --> 00:40:27,958 HAVE THE CHARTIER? 1144 00:40:28,025 --> 00:40:31,729 THIS IS TEACHING MATH -- WHY USE 1145 00:40:31,796 --> 00:40:32,930 THAT EXAMPLE? 1146 00:40:32,997 --> 00:40:35,266 VERY LIBERAL, MODERATELY 1147 00:40:35,332 --> 00:40:36,333 LIBERAL, SOMEWHAT LIBERAL, WHAT 1148 00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:39,303 HAPPENED TO A TRAIN LEAVES 1149 00:40:39,370 --> 00:40:43,140 CHICAGO? 1150 00:40:43,207 --> 00:40:43,607 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1151 00:40:43,674 --> 00:40:44,909 >> I'LL TELL YOU I'M A FORMER 1152 00:40:44,975 --> 00:40:46,944 TEACHER I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT'S 1153 00:40:47,011 --> 00:40:48,145 HAPPENING. 1154 00:40:48,212 --> 00:40:49,346 WITH ALL OF THIS REVISION TO 1155 00:40:49,413 --> 00:40:50,080 CURRICULUM OR ADDING THE 1156 00:40:50,147 --> 00:40:51,549 CURRICULUM WHETHER IT'S GENDER 1157 00:40:51,615 --> 00:40:54,952 OR RACE, NEW IDEAS ABOUT RACE, 1158 00:40:55,019 --> 00:40:56,053 WHEN A SCHOOL DISTRICT SAYS THEY 1159 00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:59,323 CAN GET 80% OF THEIR STUDENTS TO 1160 00:40:59,390 --> 00:41:01,192 GRADE LEVEL AS READERS AND TO 1161 00:41:01,258 --> 00:41:02,927 GRADE LEVEL FOR MATH SKILLS, 1162 00:41:02,993 --> 00:41:06,297 WE'LL TALK ABOUT SOME CURRICULUM 1163 00:41:06,363 --> 00:41:06,897 REVISIONS OR EXPERIMENTATION. 1164 00:41:06,964 --> 00:41:08,632 THE PUBLIC SCHOOLS ARE OUR 1165 00:41:08,699 --> 00:41:11,602 BIGGEST FAILED PUBLIX WORKS 1166 00:41:11,669 --> 00:41:13,537 PROGRESS IN THIS COUNTRY IN MY 1167 00:41:13,604 --> 00:41:14,839 LIFETIME, WE HAVE LOST OUR 1168 00:41:14,905 --> 00:41:16,173 ABILITY TO TEACH KIDS ANYTHING 1169 00:41:16,240 --> 00:41:18,843 AND NOW WE ARE FIGHTING ON THE 1170 00:41:18,909 --> 00:41:19,910 EDGES ABOUT THINGS -- LET'S PUT 1171 00:41:19,977 --> 00:41:21,779 DIFFERENT THINGS IN SCHOOL AND 1172 00:41:21,846 --> 00:41:23,747 MEASURE THEM IN DIFFERENT WAYS. 1173 00:41:23,814 --> 00:41:24,748 BUT IT DOESN'T READ LIKE A 1174 00:41:24,815 --> 00:41:25,983 CRISIS ANYMORE BECAUSE IT HAS 1175 00:41:26,050 --> 00:41:28,986 BEEN GOING ON SO LONG. 1176 00:41:29,053 --> 00:41:29,887 OUR KIDS ARE DEEPLY 1177 00:41:29,954 --> 00:41:30,287 UNDEREDUCATED TO. 1178 00:41:30,354 --> 00:41:32,022 >> I THINK IT'S GOING TO END UP 1179 00:41:32,089 --> 00:41:34,024 BEING A BIGGER CRISIS THAN WE 1180 00:41:34,091 --> 00:41:34,959 EVEN KNOW AT THIS POINT BECAUSE 1181 00:41:35,025 --> 00:41:36,627 THE LEARNING LOSS -- DID I 1182 00:41:36,694 --> 00:41:37,261 MENTION THE SCHOOLS WERE CLOSED 1183 00:41:37,328 --> 00:41:40,130 FOR A YEAR? 1184 00:41:40,197 --> 00:41:41,799 THE LEARNING LOSS PARTICULARLY 1185 00:41:41,866 --> 00:41:44,134 FOR THE ALREADY VULNERABLE 1186 00:41:44,201 --> 00:41:44,602 POPULATIONS, DISABLED 1187 00:41:44,668 --> 00:41:46,203 POPULATIONS, MINORITY 1188 00:41:46,270 --> 00:41:47,738 POPULATIONS IS GOING TO BE 1189 00:41:47,805 --> 00:41:50,074 SPECTACULAR, IT'S GOING TO BE 1190 00:41:50,140 --> 00:41:50,541 RIDICULOUS. 1191 00:41:50,608 --> 00:41:54,378 AND I THINK DeSANTIS EARNED 1192 00:41:54,445 --> 00:41:55,579 SOME CREDIT ON EDUCATION BECAUSE 1193 00:41:55,646 --> 00:41:57,615 HE KEPT SCHOOLS OPEN, THAT GIVES 1194 00:41:57,681 --> 00:41:59,083 THEM LEEWAY TO HAVE THESE FIGHTS 1195 00:41:59,149 --> 00:42:00,584 BECAUSE PARENTS HAVE CONFIDENCE 1196 00:42:00,651 --> 00:42:00,918 IN HIM. 1197 00:42:00,985 --> 00:42:02,019 THERE IS AN ISSUE IN SOMEWHERE 1198 00:42:02,086 --> 00:42:05,322 LIKE VIRGINIA WHERE GLENN 1199 00:42:05,389 --> 00:42:06,190 YOUNGKIN GOT ELECTED -- YOU GET 1200 00:42:06,257 --> 00:42:07,024 A LOT OF LEEWAY ON CURRICULUM IF 1201 00:42:07,091 --> 00:42:09,960 YOU WANT TO DO SOME WOKENESS 1202 00:42:10,027 --> 00:42:11,528 STUFF IF YOU TEACH MY KID TO 1203 00:42:11,595 --> 00:42:11,996 READ TO. 1204 00:42:12,062 --> 00:42:13,731 IF YOU SHUT IT FOR A YEAR AND 1205 00:42:13,797 --> 00:42:15,266 YOU MAKE ME ZOOM BUTLER FOR MY 1206 00:42:15,332 --> 00:42:17,034 KID AND I'M PART OF THE 1207 00:42:17,101 --> 00:42:18,002 CURRICULUM, YOU CAN'T TELL ME TO 1208 00:42:18,068 --> 00:42:19,470 SHUT UP ABOUT THE CURRICULUM AND 1209 00:42:19,536 --> 00:42:20,905 I WOULD LIKE YOU TO FOCUS ON 1210 00:42:20,971 --> 00:42:24,375 MATH AND READING. 1211 00:42:24,441 --> 00:42:26,443 >> Bill: I GOT TO GO BACK -- I 1212 00:42:26,510 --> 00:42:27,144 DON'T KNOW WHERE YOUR ANSWER 1213 00:42:27,211 --> 00:42:30,581 FITS WITH THE QUESTION I WAS 1214 00:42:30,648 --> 00:42:30,948 ASKING. 1215 00:42:31,015 --> 00:42:32,883 >> COMMON PROBLEM, TALK TO MY 1216 00:42:32,950 --> 00:42:33,117 EDITORS. 1217 00:42:33,183 --> 00:42:34,985 [LAUGHTER] 1218 00:42:35,052 --> 00:42:37,755 >> Bill: THE THING I SHOWED 1219 00:42:37,821 --> 00:42:41,191 THERE AND -- MEASURING RACIAL 1220 00:42:41,258 --> 00:42:41,859 PREJUDICE BY POLITICAL 1221 00:42:41,926 --> 00:42:43,694 IDENTIFICATION AS A WAY TO TEACH 1222 00:42:43,761 --> 00:42:45,562 ABOUT CHARTS AND GRAPHS. 1223 00:42:45,629 --> 00:42:47,431 >> IS NOT A WAY TO TEACH ABOUT 1224 00:42:47,498 --> 00:42:47,631 THAT. 1225 00:42:47,698 --> 00:42:49,233 >> Bill: OKAY, YOU'RE 1226 00:42:49,300 --> 00:42:49,566 AGREEING. 1227 00:42:49,633 --> 00:42:50,801 >> BECAUSE THE TEACHERS -- I'M 1228 00:42:50,868 --> 00:42:52,970 NOT GOING TO BLAME THE TEACHERS, 1229 00:42:53,037 --> 00:42:54,338 THERE'S MANY DIFFERENT FAILURES 1230 00:42:54,405 --> 00:42:56,573 HERE AND IT'S NOT THE TEACHERS 1231 00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:57,541 FAULT, PRIMARILY BUT THAT CHART 1232 00:42:57,608 --> 00:42:58,676 AT LEAST BECOMES SOMETHING A 1233 00:42:58,742 --> 00:43:01,946 TEACHER CAN START A DISCUSSION 1234 00:43:02,012 --> 00:43:02,146 WITH. 1235 00:43:02,212 --> 00:43:02,846 >> Bill: YOU'RE SAYING IT IS A 1236 00:43:02,913 --> 00:43:06,050 GOOD THING? 1237 00:43:06,116 --> 00:43:06,250 >> NO. 1238 00:43:06,317 --> 00:43:08,152 >> Bill: THE WHOLE THING IS 1239 00:43:08,218 --> 00:43:09,186 TERRIBLE, WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO 1240 00:43:09,253 --> 00:43:10,521 TEACH OUR STUDENTS AND THEY 1241 00:43:10,587 --> 00:43:11,388 SHOULD LEARN SOMETHING 1242 00:43:11,455 --> 00:43:13,223 ESPECIALLY THE LOWER INCOME YOU 1243 00:43:13,290 --> 00:43:14,925 ARE THE MORE YOU NEED THAT 1244 00:43:14,992 --> 00:43:16,460 ALGEBRAIC EQUATION TO MAKE SOME 1245 00:43:16,527 --> 00:43:17,461 SENSE FOR YOU INSTEAD OF HAVING 1246 00:43:17,528 --> 00:43:20,731 A CONVERSATION IN CLASS ABOUT 1247 00:43:20,798 --> 00:43:22,099 PEOPLE POLITICAL AFFILIATIONS. 1248 00:43:22,166 --> 00:43:22,933 >> Bill: TO BE CLEAR I DON'T 1249 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:25,703 THINK THIS IS TYPICAL, I THINK 1250 00:43:25,769 --> 00:43:28,138 AGAIN THEY PICKED 41 BOOKS AND 1251 00:43:28,205 --> 00:43:30,107 THEY HAVE FOUR EXAMPLES, OF THE 1252 00:43:30,174 --> 00:43:31,575 EXAMPLES THIS WAS THE MOST 1253 00:43:31,642 --> 00:43:33,610 EGREGIOUS BUT IT DOES EXIST, IT 1254 00:43:33,677 --> 00:43:34,511 IS REAL. 1255 00:43:34,578 --> 00:43:35,412 I DON'T KNOW WHY DEMOCRATS DO 1256 00:43:35,479 --> 00:43:37,815 THIS TO THEMSELVES. 1257 00:43:37,881 --> 00:43:39,350 I THINK DeSANTIS IS DEMAGOGUE 1258 00:43:39,416 --> 00:43:40,417 IN THIS ISSUE BECAUSE I THINK HE 1259 00:43:40,484 --> 00:43:41,986 THINKS THIS IS A GREAT WAY TO BE 1260 00:43:42,052 --> 00:43:44,221 THE CANDIDATE IN 2024 BY OWNING 1261 00:43:44,288 --> 00:43:50,594 THE LIVES ON GAYS AND KIDS AND 1262 00:43:50,661 --> 00:43:51,829 PLUTO AND GOOFY FUCKING EACH 1263 00:43:51,895 --> 00:43:53,731 OTHER BUT I ALSO THINK X BOOKS 1264 00:43:53,797 --> 00:43:55,232 ARE WRITTEN BY A CERTAIN TYPE OF 1265 00:43:55,299 --> 00:43:55,466 PEOPLE. 1266 00:43:55,532 --> 00:43:59,770 >> I'M AGREEING WITH YOU. 1267 00:43:59,837 --> 00:44:01,205 >> Bill: THE TYPE WHO WOULD 1268 00:44:01,271 --> 00:44:02,539 PUT SOME BULLSHIT LIKE THAT IN A 1269 00:44:02,606 --> 00:44:08,746 MATH BOOK, TYPE OF PEOPLE. 1270 00:44:08,812 --> 00:44:11,315 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1271 00:44:11,382 --> 00:44:13,584 >> IT'S A BIG BUSINESS AND 1272 00:44:13,650 --> 00:44:15,019 TEACHERS MAKE THE DECISIONS AND 1273 00:44:15,085 --> 00:44:16,720 TEACHERS AND THE UNIONS ARE 1274 00:44:16,787 --> 00:44:17,421 EXTREMELY LEFTISTS. 1275 00:44:17,488 --> 00:44:19,957 THERE IS AN INCLINATION TO BUY 1276 00:44:20,024 --> 00:44:20,257 THOSE BOOKS. 1277 00:44:20,324 --> 00:44:21,759 >> LIKE WITH PUBLIC HEALTH, 1278 00:44:21,825 --> 00:44:23,460 THERE IS A LOSS OF TRUST AND IT 1279 00:44:23,527 --> 00:44:25,362 IS A GOOD PLACE TO GO AFTER 1280 00:44:25,429 --> 00:44:27,231 THESE MAD PARENTS, IT WILL WORK 1281 00:44:27,297 --> 00:44:27,998 BECAUSE THEY ARE MAD FOR A 1282 00:44:28,065 --> 00:44:29,299 REASON AND THEY WILL NOT BE GAS 1283 00:44:29,366 --> 00:44:30,534 LIFT AND TOLD THERE'S NOTHING 1284 00:44:30,601 --> 00:44:32,236 GOING ON HERE, THERE IS 1285 00:44:32,302 --> 00:44:32,903 SOMETHING GOING ON. 1286 00:44:32,970 --> 00:44:34,838 >> Bill: THANK YOU SO MUCH, I 1287 00:44:34,905 --> 00:44:38,208 WISH I HAD TO GO WOMEN ON SHOW 1288 00:44:38,275 --> 00:44:40,411 EVERY WEEK. 1289 00:44:40,477 --> 00:44:41,011 >> WE ARE AVAILABLE. 1290 00:44:41,078 --> 00:44:45,516 >> Bill: ALL RIGHT, NEW RULES 1291 00:44:45,582 --> 00:44:48,085 EVERYBODY. 1292 00:44:48,152 --> 00:44:49,720 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1293 00:44:49,787 --> 00:44:51,055 YOU CAN HAVE THAT AS A SOUVENIR 1294 00:44:51,121 --> 00:44:53,791 OF THE SHOW. 1295 00:44:53,857 --> 00:44:54,324 NEW RULE: THE HUNDREDS OF 1296 00:44:54,391 --> 00:44:55,292 CONSUMERS WHO SAY LUCKY CHARMS 1297 00:44:55,359 --> 00:44:56,727 GAVE THEM NAUSEA, VOMITING AND 1298 00:44:56,794 --> 00:44:57,828 DIARRHEA HAVE TO QUIT THEIR 1299 00:44:57,895 --> 00:45:00,397 BITCHING. 1300 00:45:00,464 --> 00:45:01,632 READ THE BOX. 1301 00:45:01,698 --> 00:45:09,540 IT SAYS "LUCKY." 1302 00:45:09,606 --> 00:45:12,209 [LAUGHTER] 1303 00:45:12,276 --> 00:45:13,077 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1304 00:45:13,143 --> 00:45:14,144 IT NEVER SAID WHAT KIND OF LUCK. 1305 00:45:14,211 --> 00:45:14,978 NEW RULE: INSTEAD OF BUILDING A 1306 00:45:15,045 --> 00:45:19,149 WALL ON THE SOUTHERN BORDER, 1307 00:45:19,216 --> 00:45:25,389 LET'S BUILD A LABYRINTH. 1308 00:45:25,456 --> 00:45:25,656 [LAUGHTER] 1309 00:45:25,722 --> 00:45:26,256 [APPLAUSE] 1310 00:45:26,323 --> 00:45:26,857 YOU WANT TO SLOW THE FLOW OF 1311 00:45:26,924 --> 00:45:27,691 MIGRANTS? 1312 00:45:27,758 --> 00:45:28,625 THIS'LL DO IT. 1313 00:45:28,692 --> 00:45:29,526 AND THE ONES THAT GET THROUGH, 1314 00:45:29,593 --> 00:45:30,461 WELL, CONGRATS! 1315 00:45:30,527 --> 00:45:31,195 YOU'RE SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE 1316 00:45:31,261 --> 00:45:36,433 AMERICAN. 1317 00:45:36,500 --> 00:45:39,002 [LAUGHTER] 1318 00:45:39,069 --> 00:45:39,770 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1319 00:45:39,837 --> 00:45:40,904 NEW RULE: JOHNNY DEPP IS AN 1320 00:45:40,971 --> 00:45:41,872 AWARD WINNING ACTOR; HE'S GOT TO 1321 00:45:41,939 --> 00:45:42,906 FIGURE OUT HOW TO LOOK LESS 1322 00:45:42,973 --> 00:45:51,849 TOTALLY AND UTTERLY GUILTY. 1323 00:45:51,915 --> 00:45:52,616 [LAUGHTER] 1324 00:45:52,683 --> 00:45:53,317 HERE HE IS IN COURT DRESSED LIKE 1325 00:45:53,383 --> 00:45:54,284 A MAFIA DON WHO JUST BURNED DOWN 1326 00:45:54,351 --> 00:45:55,419 A BIKER BAR. 1327 00:45:55,486 --> 00:45:59,189 I DON'T KNOW WHO SHIT THE BED 1328 00:45:59,256 --> 00:45:59,456 [LAUGHTER] 1329 00:45:59,523 --> 00:46:00,390 WORSE, AMBER HEARD OR WHOEVER 1330 00:46:00,457 --> 00:46:04,962 PICKED OUT THAT TIE. 1331 00:46:05,028 --> 00:46:08,465 [LAUGHTER] 1332 00:46:08,532 --> 00:46:08,932 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1333 00:46:08,999 --> 00:46:09,500 NEW RULE: THE FLORIDA MAN 1334 00:46:09,566 --> 00:46:11,101 ARRESTED THIS MONTH WITH TWO 1335 00:46:11,168 --> 00:46:12,636 FIREARMS, MULTIPLE SYRINGES 1336 00:46:12,703 --> 00:46:17,040 LOADED WITH METH, AND A LIVE 1337 00:46:17,107 --> 00:46:18,442 ALLIGATOR IN THE BACK OF HIS 1338 00:46:18,509 --> 00:46:19,510 PICKUP NEEDS TO TAKE THAT 1339 00:46:19,576 --> 00:46:25,115 WEAK-ASS SHIT TO LOUISIANA. 1340 00:46:25,182 --> 00:46:25,382 [LAUGHTER] 1341 00:46:25,449 --> 00:46:27,618 [APPLAUSE] 1342 00:46:27,684 --> 00:46:28,585 YOU SIR, ARE NOT FLORIDA MAN 1343 00:46:28,652 --> 00:46:31,555 MATERIAL. 1344 00:46:31,622 --> 00:46:31,822 [LAUGHTER] 1345 00:46:31,889 --> 00:46:32,689 A REAL FLORIDA MAN WOULD HAVE 1346 00:46:32,756 --> 00:46:36,026 ALSO BEEN NAKED, MASTURBATING, A 1347 00:46:36,093 --> 00:46:36,927 LICENSED PASTOR, A FORMER 1348 00:46:36,994 --> 00:46:40,664 POWERBALL WINNER, AND MARRIED TO 1349 00:46:40,731 --> 00:46:45,903 THE ALLIGATOR. 1350 00:46:45,969 --> 00:46:48,405 [LAUGHTER] 1351 00:46:48,472 --> 00:46:49,072 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1352 00:46:49,139 --> 00:46:49,973 NEW RULE: PORN VIDEOS TITLES 1353 00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:50,941 HAVE TO EITHER GET SHORTER OR 1354 00:46:51,008 --> 00:46:53,810 COME WITH SPOILER ALERTS. 1355 00:46:53,877 --> 00:46:55,212 IF YOU WRITE "HOT MILF RIDES HER 1356 00:46:55,279 --> 00:46:56,880 JEALOUS SON WHILE WEARING 1357 00:46:56,947 --> 00:46:58,849 GLASSES," NOW I KNOW THE WHOLE 1358 00:46:58,916 --> 00:47:09,326 STORY! 1359 00:47:09,393 --> 00:47:12,095 [LAUGHTER] 1360 00:47:12,162 --> 00:47:12,563 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1361 00:47:12,629 --> 00:47:13,297 "BUSTY NAÏVE BLONDE FUCKED BY 1362 00:47:13,363 --> 00:47:14,097 STRANGER UNDER THE BRIDGE", 1363 00:47:14,164 --> 00:47:15,799 RUINED. 1364 00:47:15,866 --> 00:47:17,267 "SEXY BIG ASS FEMALE MATURE BOSS 1365 00:47:17,334 --> 00:47:18,869 SEDUCES HINDI AUNTIE AT WORK", 1366 00:47:18,936 --> 00:47:20,103 WELL, NOW I GUESS I DON'T HAVE 1367 00:47:20,170 --> 00:47:27,544 TO WATCH IT, DO I? 1368 00:47:27,611 --> 00:47:28,478 [LAUGHTER] 1369 00:47:28,545 --> 00:47:28,946 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1370 00:47:29,012 --> 00:47:29,546 I SAY BRING BACK THE CLASSIC 1371 00:47:29,613 --> 00:47:30,981 TITLES, LIKE "DEEP THROAT," 1372 00:47:31,048 --> 00:47:32,349 "BEHIND THE GREEN DOOR" AND 1373 00:47:32,416 --> 00:47:42,960 "TOWNHALL WITH MATT GAETZ." 1374 00:47:43,026 --> 00:47:43,427 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1375 00:47:43,493 --> 00:47:44,094 AND FINALLY, NEW RULE. 1376 00:47:44,161 --> 00:47:45,596 THE WASHINGTON POST IS WRONG: 1377 00:47:45,662 --> 00:47:48,131 DEMOCRACY DOESN'T DIE IN 1378 00:47:48,198 --> 00:47:51,935 DARKNESS. 1379 00:47:52,002 --> 00:47:55,706 IT DIES IN PLAIN SIGHT BECAUSE 1380 00:47:55,772 --> 00:47:56,640 ENOUGH PEOPLE THINK DEMOCRACY IS 1381 00:47:56,707 --> 00:47:58,208 A LUXURY AMERICA CAN NO LONGER 1382 00:47:58,275 --> 00:48:02,179 AFFORD. 1383 00:48:02,246 --> 00:48:03,247 [LAUGHTER] 1384 00:48:03,313 --> 00:48:05,215 THAT'S PRETTY MUCH THE POSITION 1385 00:48:05,282 --> 00:48:08,018 OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY NOW -- 1386 00:48:08,085 --> 00:48:09,052 THAT YOU CAN VOTE FOR ANYONE YOU 1387 00:48:09,119 --> 00:48:10,754 LIKE, BUT IT DOESN'T COUNT IF 1388 00:48:10,821 --> 00:48:12,055 IT'S NOT US. 1389 00:48:12,122 --> 00:48:16,927 HEADS WE WIN, TAILS WE COUP. 1390 00:48:16,994 --> 00:48:17,394 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1391 00:48:17,461 --> 00:48:18,528 I KNOW SOME PEOPLE LIKE TO SAY 1392 00:48:18,595 --> 00:48:21,531 THERE'S NOT MUCH DIFFERENCE 1393 00:48:21,598 --> 00:48:22,032 BETWEEN THE PARTIES, BUT 1394 00:48:22,099 --> 00:48:23,400 ACTUALLY IN AMERICA 2022, 1395 00:48:23,467 --> 00:48:24,167 THERE'S MORE OF A DIFFERENCE 1396 00:48:24,234 --> 00:48:26,837 BETWEEN THE PARTIES THAN THERE 1397 00:48:26,903 --> 00:48:28,739 EVER HAS BEEN IN AMERICAN 1398 00:48:28,805 --> 00:48:30,641 HISTORY. 1399 00:48:30,707 --> 00:48:32,342 AND HERE'S WHY: DEMOCRATS, FOR 1400 00:48:32,409 --> 00:48:33,677 ALL THEIR FLAWS, STILL SEE 1401 00:48:33,744 --> 00:48:34,978 DEMOCRACY AS THE ESSENCE OF 1402 00:48:35,045 --> 00:48:36,380 AMERICA -- THEY SEE AMERICA AND 1403 00:48:36,446 --> 00:48:37,447 DEMOCRACY AS INEXTRICABLY 1404 00:48:37,514 --> 00:48:39,016 LINKED. 1405 00:48:39,082 --> 00:48:40,717 THEY BELIEVE THAT ONE WITHOUT 1406 00:48:40,784 --> 00:48:42,419 THE OTHER IS UNTHINKABLE. 1407 00:48:42,486 --> 00:48:44,054 REPUBLICANS? 1408 00:48:44,121 --> 00:48:48,992 THINKABLE! 1409 00:48:49,059 --> 00:48:52,629 VERY, VERY THINKABLE. 1410 00:48:52,696 --> 00:48:53,096 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1411 00:48:53,163 --> 00:48:54,431 REPUBLICANS NOW SEEM TO BE OKAY 1412 00:48:54,498 --> 00:48:57,034 WITH AMERICA CONTINUING TO EXIST 1413 00:48:57,100 --> 00:48:58,468 AS A COUNTRY BUT WITHOUT BEING A 1414 00:48:58,535 --> 00:48:59,936 DEMOCRACY. 1415 00:49:00,003 --> 00:49:01,138 UTAH SENATOR MIKE LEE SAYS: 1416 00:49:01,204 --> 00:49:03,373 "WE'RE NOT A DEMOCRACY. 1417 00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:04,941 DEMOCRACY ISN'T THE OBJECTIVE; 1418 00:49:05,008 --> 00:49:07,544 LIBERTY, PEACE, AND PROSPERITY 1419 00:49:07,611 --> 00:49:08,512 ARE. 1420 00:49:08,578 --> 00:49:09,680 WE WANT THE HUMAN CONDITION TO 1421 00:49:09,746 --> 00:49:10,580 FLOURISH. 1422 00:49:10,647 --> 00:49:11,748 RANK DEMOCRACY CAN THWART THAT." 1423 00:49:11,815 --> 00:49:12,916 WHICH IS A WEIRD IDEA FOR A 1424 00:49:12,983 --> 00:49:13,717 CAMPAIGN AD. 1425 00:49:13,784 --> 00:49:14,851 "VOTE FOR MIKE LEE, BECAUSE 1426 00:49:14,918 --> 00:49:22,359 VOTING IS BAD." 1427 00:49:22,426 --> 00:49:25,629 [LAUGHTER] 1428 00:49:25,696 --> 00:49:26,730 [APPLAUSE] 1429 00:49:26,797 --> 00:49:27,698 BUT BEYOND THAT, THIS IS A TRUE 1430 00:49:27,764 --> 00:49:28,699 SEA CHANGE IN AMERICAN POLITICS, 1431 00:49:28,765 --> 00:49:30,133 AND MIKE LEE ISN'T THE ONLY ONE 1432 00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:31,902 SAYING IT OUT LOUD. 1433 00:49:31,968 --> 00:49:33,003 HERE IN CALIFORNIA SOMEONE NAMED 1434 00:49:33,070 --> 00:49:37,140 RACHEL HAMM IS RUNNING FOR 1435 00:49:37,207 --> 00:49:37,974 SECRETARY OF STATE, AND SHE SAYS 1436 00:49:38,041 --> 00:49:39,509 "I WANT TO MAKE IT HARD" TO 1437 00:49:39,576 --> 00:49:39,710 VOTE. 1438 00:49:39,776 --> 00:49:40,744 "I WANT IT TO BE A PRIVILEGE TO 1439 00:49:40,811 --> 00:49:47,050 VOTE." 1440 00:49:47,117 --> 00:49:48,185 AGAIN, THIS IS A FUNDAMENTAL 1441 00:49:48,251 --> 00:49:48,885 CHANGE, OPENLY BADMOUTHING 1442 00:49:48,952 --> 00:49:49,853 DEMOCRACY AND SAYING OUT LOUD 1443 00:49:49,920 --> 00:49:50,520 THAT VOTING IS A PRIVILEGE AND 1444 00:49:50,587 --> 00:49:51,421 NOT A RIGHT. 1445 00:49:51,488 --> 00:49:55,325 LOREN CULP IS THE REPUBLICAN 1446 00:49:55,392 --> 00:49:56,193 CANDIDATE FOR CONGRESS IN 1447 00:49:56,259 --> 00:49:57,327 WASHINGTON STATE, AND HE CALLED 1448 00:49:57,394 --> 00:49:58,762 DEMOCRACY "MOB RULE." 1449 00:49:58,829 --> 00:50:02,099 AND THAT IS A BIG TALKING POINT 1450 00:50:02,165 --> 00:50:03,533 FROM CONSERVATIVES THESE DAYS -- 1451 00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:06,036 THAT "THE FOUNDING FATHERS 1452 00:50:06,103 --> 00:50:07,037 FEARED MOB RULE!" 1453 00:50:07,104 --> 00:50:07,971 THIS FROM THE PARTY THAT ON 1454 00:50:08,038 --> 00:50:09,806 JANUARY 6TH ENCOURAGED A LITERAL 1455 00:50:09,873 --> 00:50:15,545 MOB TO ATTEMPT TO RULE. 1456 00:50:15,612 --> 00:50:19,383 IF YOU VIOLENTLY ATTACK THE U.S. 1457 00:50:19,449 --> 00:50:20,317 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1458 00:50:20,384 --> 00:50:23,253 CAPITOL - KICKING IN DOORS, 1459 00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:26,423 BREAKING WINDOWS, KILLING COPS, 1460 00:50:26,490 --> 00:50:29,593 CHASING DULY ELECTED 1461 00:50:29,659 --> 00:50:31,895 REPRESENTATIVES OUT OF THE 1462 00:50:31,962 --> 00:50:33,463 BUILDING, ALL WITH THE INTENT OF 1463 00:50:33,530 --> 00:50:34,431 OVERTURNING A LAWFUL ELECTION 1464 00:50:34,498 --> 00:50:36,967 AND HANGING THE VICE PRESIDENT 1465 00:50:37,033 --> 00:50:38,535 FOR CERTIFYING IT -- YOU KNOW, 1466 00:50:38,602 --> 00:50:41,738 IN THE NAME OF PATRIOTISM -- 1467 00:50:41,805 --> 00:50:42,572 MAYBE YOU'VE LOST THE THREAD OF 1468 00:50:42,639 --> 00:50:43,840 EXACTLY WHAT IT IS YOU'RE 1469 00:50:43,907 --> 00:50:45,375 SUPPOSED TO BE LOYAL TO. 1470 00:50:45,442 --> 00:50:52,315 I'M NO CONSTITUTIONAL SCHOLAR, 1471 00:50:52,382 --> 00:50:53,583 BUT I'M PRETTY SURE IT DOESN'T 1472 00:50:53,650 --> 00:50:58,855 SAY, "IN THE CASE OF AN ELECTION 1473 00:50:58,922 --> 00:51:00,323 LOSS, BREAK SHIT AND INSTALL 1474 00:51:00,390 --> 00:51:01,758 YOUR GUY ANYWAY." 1475 00:51:01,825 --> 00:51:03,026 AND PLEASE STOP IMAGINING YOU'RE 1476 00:51:03,093 --> 00:51:04,161 BLOWING OUR MINDS WHEN YOU POINT 1477 00:51:04,227 --> 00:51:19,776 OUT THAT "AMERICA IS NOT A 1478 00:51:19,843 --> 00:51:20,777 DIRECT DEMOCRACY, IT'S A 1479 00:51:20,844 --> 00:51:21,845 REPUBLIC!" 1480 00:51:21,912 --> 00:51:22,646 DUH. 1481 00:51:22,712 --> 00:51:23,847 OF COURSE, EVEN AT THE TIME OF 1482 00:51:23,914 --> 00:51:24,748 AMERICA'S FOUNDING, DIRECT 1483 00:51:24,815 --> 00:51:25,749 DEMOCRACY, WHERE EVERYONE WHO 1484 00:51:25,816 --> 00:51:26,750 COULD VOTE GATHERED IN THE 1485 00:51:26,817 --> 00:51:27,918 SQUARE LIKE IN ANCIENT ATHENS 1486 00:51:27,984 --> 00:51:29,052 AND PUT A WHITE OR BLACK PEBBLE 1487 00:51:29,119 --> 00:51:29,920 IN A BIG POT. 1488 00:51:29,986 --> 00:51:31,321 WAS IMPRACTICAL. 1489 00:51:31,388 --> 00:51:32,556 SO DEMOCRACY ADDED THE IDEA OF 1490 00:51:32,622 --> 00:51:33,657 REPRESENTATIVES, AND WITH THE 1491 00:51:33,723 --> 00:51:34,758 ADDITION OF A CONSTITUTION THAT 1492 00:51:34,825 --> 00:51:35,759 GUIDED US AND PROTECTED 1493 00:51:35,826 --> 00:51:36,893 MINORITIES, WE BECAME A REPUBLIC 1494 00:51:36,960 --> 00:51:38,361 -- THAT IS, AN IMPROVED TYPE OF 1495 00:51:38,428 --> 00:51:39,095 DEMOCRACY, NOT SOMETHING APART 1496 00:51:39,162 --> 00:51:40,363 FROM DEMOCRACY. 1497 00:51:40,430 --> 00:51:41,531 STILL A SYSTEM WHERE WE VOTE, 1498 00:51:41,598 --> 00:51:42,833 THE VOTES COUNT, AND THE 1499 00:51:42,899 --> 00:51:44,434 WINNERS, WITH REASONABLE 1500 00:51:44,501 --> 00:51:45,802 RESTRAINTS, ARE PUT IN CHARGE. 1501 00:51:45,869 --> 00:51:47,337 THAT'S THE BEST, ALBEIT 1502 00:51:47,404 --> 00:51:48,705 IMPERFECT, WAY TO DO THIS THING 1503 00:51:48,772 --> 00:51:49,739 CALLED GOVERNMENT, AND WE ALL 1504 00:51:49,806 --> 00:51:51,741 USED TO GET THAT! 1505 00:51:51,808 --> 00:51:52,943 BUT NOW MANY REPUBLICANS HAVE 1506 00:51:53,009 --> 00:51:55,712 DECIDED THAT DEMOCRACY IS WHAT'S 1507 00:51:55,779 --> 00:51:57,214 WRONG WITH AMERICA. 1508 00:51:57,280 --> 00:51:58,748 A LOT OF PEOPLE DRIVE THEMSELVES 1509 00:51:58,815 --> 00:51:59,783 CRAZY ASKING REPUBLICANS FOR 1510 00:51:59,850 --> 00:52:01,318 EVIDENCE THAT BIDEN SOMEHOW 1511 00:52:01,384 --> 00:52:02,819 STOLE THE ELECTION, BUT THAT'S A 1512 00:52:02,886 --> 00:52:04,287 FOOL'S ERRAND: IN THE CIRCULAR 1513 00:52:04,354 --> 00:52:05,555 LOGIC OF TODAY'S RIGHT, THE 1514 00:52:05,622 --> 00:52:07,390 EVIDENCE THAT THE ELECTION WAS 1515 00:52:07,457 --> 00:52:08,892 STOLEN IS THAT THEY LOST. 1516 00:52:08,959 --> 00:52:11,127 THE "LOGIC" GOES LIKE THIS: WE 1517 00:52:11,194 --> 00:52:12,996 ALL KNOW AMERICA SHOULD BE MADE 1518 00:52:13,063 --> 00:52:14,764 GREAT AGAIN, AND ONE SIDE WANTED 1519 00:52:14,831 --> 00:52:16,166 IT MADE GREAT AGAIN -IT SAID SO 1520 00:52:16,233 --> 00:52:23,006 RIGHT ON THEIR HATS. 1521 00:52:23,073 --> 00:52:23,473 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1522 00:52:23,540 --> 00:52:24,174 SO LOGICALLY, THE OTHER SIDE 1523 00:52:24,241 --> 00:52:27,677 WANTED AMERICA TO STAY BAD. 1524 00:52:27,744 --> 00:52:28,745 AND THERE'S NO WAY JESUS, WHO 1525 00:52:28,812 --> 00:52:31,281 LOVES AMERICA, WOULD LET THAT 1526 00:52:31,348 --> 00:52:37,687 HAPPEN. 1527 00:52:37,754 --> 00:52:40,490 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1528 00:52:40,557 --> 00:52:41,992 SAME THING WITH "VOTER FRAUD," 1529 00:52:42,058 --> 00:52:43,627 WHICH HAS BEEN STUDIED A MILLION 1530 00:52:43,693 --> 00:52:47,097 TIMES, ALL WITH THE SAME RESULT: 1531 00:52:47,163 --> 00:52:50,066 IT'S NEGLIGIBLE, AND DOESN'T 1532 00:52:50,133 --> 00:52:50,467 AFFECT ELECTIONS. 1533 00:52:50,534 --> 00:52:53,403 AGAIN, MISSING THE POINT: THE 1534 00:52:53,470 --> 00:52:54,638 EVIDENCE OF VOTER FRAUD IS THAT 1535 00:52:54,704 --> 00:52:59,943 SOMETIMES DEMOCRATS WIN. 1536 00:53:00,010 --> 00:53:01,111 THIS IS MADNESS. 1537 00:53:01,177 --> 00:53:02,746 DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS HAVE 1538 00:53:02,812 --> 00:53:04,748 CERTAINLY ALWAYS HAD THEIR 1539 00:53:04,814 --> 00:53:05,849 DIFFERENCES: TAXES GUNS 1540 00:53:05,916 --> 00:53:07,117 ABORTION, WEARING COWBOY BOOTS 1541 00:53:07,183 --> 00:53:08,285 WITH A SUIT. 1542 00:53:08,351 --> 00:53:10,720 BUT NEITHER EVER REALLY DOUBTED 1543 00:53:10,787 --> 00:53:15,759 THAT OUR SYSTEM OF ACCEPTING 1544 00:53:15,825 --> 00:53:18,361 ELECTORAL LOSS WAS WHAT MADE 1545 00:53:18,428 --> 00:53:21,731 AMERICA DIFFERENT FROM SO MANY 1546 00:53:21,798 --> 00:53:24,467 COUNTRIES WHO COULD NEVER GET 1547 00:53:24,534 --> 00:53:27,404 THAT RIGHT -- IT WAS, AS MUCH AS 1548 00:53:27,470 --> 00:53:28,572 ANYTHING, WHAT MADE AMERICA 1549 00:53:28,638 --> 00:53:32,409 GREAT. 1550 00:53:32,475 --> 00:53:33,310 DESPITE THE FACT THAT IN A 1551 00:53:33,376 --> 00:53:34,844 DEMOCRACY, THE PEOPLE WHO WIN, 1552 00:53:34,911 --> 00:53:38,415 YES, SOMETIMES GET THINGS WRONG 1553 00:53:38,481 --> 00:53:40,250 -- MAYBE THAT'S WHY CHURCHILL 1554 00:53:40,317 --> 00:53:41,384 CALLED DEMOCRACY THE WORST 1555 00:53:41,451 --> 00:53:42,552 SYSTEM OF GOVERNMENT, EXCEPT FOR 1556 00:53:42,619 --> 00:53:44,955 ALL THE OTHERS. 1557 00:53:45,021 --> 00:53:46,690 THE LEFT TODAY IS GETTING LOTS 1558 00:53:46,756 --> 00:53:48,058 OF THINGS WRONG. 1559 00:53:48,124 --> 00:53:54,097 POLICE DEPARTMENTS GUTTED, KIDS 1560 00:53:54,164 --> 00:53:55,465 TAUGHT CRAZY SHIT, UNPOPULAR 1561 00:53:55,532 --> 00:53:57,100 THOUGHT BEING SCRUBBED, TRYING 1562 00:53:57,167 --> 00:53:59,202 TO REFRAME AMERICA AS 1563 00:53:59,269 --> 00:54:00,570 IRREDEEMABLY RACIST. 1564 00:54:00,637 --> 00:54:02,038 I GET THE PANIC. 1565 00:54:02,105 --> 00:54:04,574 BUT SOLUTIONS SHORT OF JUNKING 1566 00:54:04,641 --> 00:54:06,309 DEMOCRACY CAN AND MUST HANDLE 1567 00:54:06,376 --> 00:54:07,310 THIS. 1568 00:54:07,377 --> 00:54:08,712 WHAT DO TOUGH GUYS AND TRUE 1569 00:54:08,778 --> 00:54:10,347 PATRIOTS DO IN TIMES OF PANIC? 1570 00:54:10,413 --> 00:54:11,081 THEY DON'T PANIC! 1571 00:54:11,147 --> 00:54:12,749 BUT CONSERVATIVES NOW SOUND 1572 00:54:12,816 --> 00:54:14,351 CREEPILY LIKE THE GENERALS IN 1573 00:54:14,417 --> 00:54:15,885 SOME COUNTRY WHERE THEY FINALLY 1574 00:54:15,952 --> 00:54:17,420 EXPERIMENTED WITH DEMOCRACY FOR 1575 00:54:17,487 --> 00:54:18,822 THE FIRST TIME AND. 1576 00:54:18,888 --> 00:54:21,591 WELL, THEY DIDN'T LIKE IT SO 1577 00:54:21,658 --> 00:54:22,626 MUCH. 1578 00:54:22,692 --> 00:54:24,361 I'M AFRAID WE LET THE VOTERS 1579 00:54:24,427 --> 00:54:26,863 DECIDE, AND THEY FUCKED UP. 1580 00:54:26,930 --> 00:54:27,998 NEXT MONTH, THE CONSERVATIVE 1581 00:54:28,064 --> 00:54:31,167 POLITICAL ACTION CONFERENCE -- 1582 00:54:31,234 --> 00:54:32,702 CPAC -- IS HOLDING THEIR 1583 00:54:32,769 --> 00:54:34,838 CONVENTION IN HUNGARY. 1584 00:54:34,904 --> 00:54:36,172 HUNGARY? 1585 00:54:36,239 --> 00:54:39,209 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH KANSAS? 1586 00:54:39,275 --> 00:54:44,848 WELL, APPARENTLY IT'S NOT 1587 00:54:44,914 --> 00:54:45,315 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1588 00:54:45,382 --> 00:54:47,817 AUTHORITARIAN ENOUGH. 1589 00:54:47,884 --> 00:54:50,120 THE NEW PLATFORM FROM THE RIGHT 1590 00:54:50,186 --> 00:54:55,025 IS MAKING THE WORLD SAFE FROM 1591 00:54:55,091 --> 00:54:56,693 DEMOCRACY. 1592 00:54:56,760 --> 00:54:59,095 OKAY, THAT'S OUR SHOW. 1593 00:54:59,162 --> 00:55:00,163 I'LL BE AT THE MIRAGE IN VEGAS, 1594 00:55:00,230 --> 00:55:00,964 MAY 20TH AND 21ST, AT THE STATE 1595 00:55:01,031 --> 00:55:01,698 THEATRE IN MINNEAPOLIS, JUNE 1596 00:55:01,765 --> 00:55:03,133 4TH, AND AT THE MURAT THEATRE IN 1597 00:55:03,199 --> 00:55:04,067 INDIANAPOLIS, JUNE 5TH. 1598 00:55:04,134 --> 00:55:05,135 I WANT TO THANK MY GUESTS MARY 1599 00:55:05,201 --> 00:55:06,436 KATHARINE HAM, CAITLIN FLANAGAN 1600 00:55:06,503 --> 00:55:07,203 AND BOB ODENKIRK. 1601 00:55:07,270 --> 00:55:08,371 NOW GO TO YOUTUBE AND JOIN US ON 1602 00:55:08,438 --> 00:55:17,147 OVERTIME. 1603 00:55:17,213 --> 00:55:23,820 I MEAN OVER TIME ON YOUTUBE. 1604 00:55:23,887 --> 00:55:24,287 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1605 00:55:24,354 --> 00:55:32,495 ♪ ♪ 1606 00:55:32,562 --> 00:55:34,798 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1607 00:55:34,864 --> 00:55:44,407 ♪ ♪ 1608 00:55:44,474 --> 00:55:44,874 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1609 00:55:44,941 --> 00:55:49,145 ♪ ♪