1 00:00:08,007 --> 00:00:10,543 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:10,610 --> 00:00:15,749 >> START THE CLOCK. 3 00:00:15,815 --> 00:00:22,489 ♪ ♪ 4 00:00:22,555 --> 00:00:34,467 ♪ ♪ 5 00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:36,736 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 6 00:00:36,803 --> 00:00:38,371 >> Bill: THANK YOU, PEOPLE, 7 00:00:38,438 --> 00:00:43,309 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 8 00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:46,179 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 9 00:00:46,246 --> 00:00:52,318 HOW ARE YOU DOING? 10 00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:55,622 LOOK AT THIS, HAPPY, HAPPY 11 00:00:55,688 --> 00:00:56,156 PEOPLE. 12 00:00:56,222 --> 00:01:00,960 I APPRECIATE IT, THANK YOU VERY 13 00:01:01,027 --> 00:01:04,464 MUCH. 14 00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:05,465 ALL RIGHT, IT'S GETTING 15 00:01:05,532 --> 00:01:05,799 EMBARRASSING. 16 00:01:05,865 --> 00:01:08,334 PLEASE, PLEASE. 17 00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:09,436 THANK YOU, I KNOW WHY YOU'RE 18 00:01:09,502 --> 00:01:11,838 HAPPY -- I DON'T KNOW. 19 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:12,739 [LAUGHTER] 20 00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:15,909 LISTEN TO THIS, BIDEN GOT COVID 21 00:01:15,975 --> 00:01:17,243 AGAIN AND HAD THE BEST WEEK OF 22 00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:22,749 HIS PRESIDENCY. 23 00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:24,584 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 24 00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:27,487 I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS RELATED 25 00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:29,556 BUT TODAY KAMALA HARRIS WAS SEEN 26 00:01:29,622 --> 00:01:33,960 RUBBING HERSELF WITH A COUGHING 27 00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:38,865 MONKEY. 28 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,233 [LAUGHTER] 29 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:41,768 NOT FUNNY, THEY JUST DECLARED 30 00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:44,704 MONKEYPOX -- REALLY? 31 00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:45,505 IT'S A NATIONAL EMERGENCY. 32 00:01:45,572 --> 00:01:48,308 LISTEN TO THIS, IN NEW YORK CITY 33 00:01:48,374 --> 00:01:50,276 THEY FOUND ONE CASE OF POLIO, 34 00:01:50,343 --> 00:01:51,344 THE HEALTH GUY SAID THIS IS THE 35 00:01:51,411 --> 00:01:52,712 TIP OF THE ICEBERG AND WE FOUND 36 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:55,081 IT IN THE WASTEWATER. 37 00:01:55,148 --> 00:01:56,382 I'VE HAD IT WITH VIRUSES, I 38 00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:58,918 REALLY HAVE. 39 00:01:58,985 --> 00:02:01,721 POLIO IN THE WASTEWATER? 40 00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,890 FIRST I COULDN'T HAVE 41 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:09,295 UNPROTECTED GAY SEX. 42 00:02:09,362 --> 00:02:10,430 [LAUGHTER] 43 00:02:10,497 --> 00:02:12,599 THEN I COULDN'T EAT AT A CHINESE 44 00:02:12,665 --> 00:02:15,935 WET MARKETS, NO I CAN'T PLAY IN 45 00:02:16,002 --> 00:02:17,871 WASTEWATER? 46 00:02:17,937 --> 00:02:24,544 FUCK THIS! 47 00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:25,378 [LAUGHTER] 48 00:02:25,445 --> 00:02:27,514 BIDEN HAD HIS BEST WEEK AND A 49 00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:28,481 VERY LONG TIME. 50 00:02:28,548 --> 00:02:30,250 JOBS WAY UP, WE HAVE ALL THE 51 00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:32,285 JOBS BACK FROM THE PANDEMIC, 52 00:02:32,352 --> 00:02:35,221 UNEMPLOYMENT IS 3.5%, GAS PRICES 53 00:02:35,288 --> 00:02:41,060 WAY DOWN. 54 00:02:41,127 --> 00:02:43,196 HE GOT HIS BIG CLIMATE BILL 55 00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:43,396 TODAY. 56 00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:46,132 KYRSTEN SINEMA FROM ARIZONA, ARE 57 00:02:46,199 --> 00:02:48,501 YOU FAMILIAR WITH HER -- SHE 58 00:02:48,568 --> 00:02:52,872 JOINED UP. 59 00:02:52,939 --> 00:02:55,742 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 60 00:02:55,808 --> 00:02:58,945 IT'S GOOD TO SEE THE DEMOCRATS 61 00:02:59,012 --> 00:02:59,479 CAN BE BIPARTISAN WITH 62 00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:01,781 THEMSELVES. 63 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:04,918 [LAUGHTER] 64 00:03:04,984 --> 00:03:08,621 SHE WAS HOLDING THIS UP FOR 65 00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:10,723 SOMETHING CALLED THE CARRIED 66 00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:11,758 INTEREST LOOPHOLE. 67 00:03:11,824 --> 00:03:14,661 THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO HER, 68 00:03:14,727 --> 00:03:16,362 THEY GIVE IT UP. 69 00:03:16,429 --> 00:03:17,830 IT'S SOMETHING ONLY HEDGE FUND 70 00:03:17,897 --> 00:03:18,598 MANAGERS CARE ABOUT, DO YOU CARE 71 00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:21,935 ABOUT THIS? 72 00:03:22,001 --> 00:03:23,336 SHE LOOKED AROUND SCOTTSDALE AND 73 00:03:23,403 --> 00:03:24,537 SAID IT'S ABOUT TIME SOMEONE 74 00:03:24,604 --> 00:03:28,041 STOOD UP FOR THE WEALTHY. 75 00:03:28,107 --> 00:03:30,910 [LAUGHTER] 76 00:03:30,977 --> 00:03:32,645 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 77 00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:35,515 THIS IS A TAX LOOPHOLE THAT ONLY 78 00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:36,849 INVOLVES HEDGE FUND MANAGERS. 79 00:03:36,916 --> 00:03:38,518 I'VE SEEN MANY CAMPAIGN ADS IN 80 00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:44,691 MY LIFE, JUST FIREMEN, FARMERS, 81 00:03:44,757 --> 00:03:46,326 WELDERS, A KID PULLING A DOG AND 82 00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:48,928 A WAGON. 83 00:03:48,995 --> 00:03:49,829 [LAUGHTER] 84 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,397 IT'S RARELY HEDGE FUND MANAGERS, 85 00:03:51,464 --> 00:03:53,232 I'M NEVER SEEN ONE WITH A GUY -- 86 00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:55,201 IT'S MORNING IN AMERICA, UP ALL 87 00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:58,304 NIGHT SNORTING BLOW OFF A 88 00:03:58,371 --> 00:04:08,481 HOOKER'S ASS. 89 00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:08,748 [LAUGHTER] 90 00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:10,116 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 91 00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:14,487 THANK YOU, MOM. 92 00:04:14,554 --> 00:04:15,421 [LAUGHTER] 93 00:04:15,488 --> 00:04:17,223 THIS IS THE BIG CLIMATE BILL. 94 00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:19,626 NOT ONE REPUBLICAN VOTED FOR IT, 95 00:04:19,692 --> 00:04:21,127 IT'S GOING TO BE 50 PLUS THE 96 00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:23,162 VICE PRESIDENT PASSING THIS 97 00:04:23,229 --> 00:04:24,030 THING. 98 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,099 THE ENVIRONMENT, THEY'RE JUST 99 00:04:26,165 --> 00:04:26,666 NOT INTO IT. 100 00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:27,700 IF THERE WAS JUST SOME WAY TO 101 00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:33,940 GET THE EARTH PREGNANT. 102 00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:34,440 [LAUGHTER] 103 00:04:34,507 --> 00:04:40,813 [APPLAUSE] 104 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:44,384 THAT IS THE BIG STORY THIS WEEK. 105 00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:44,617 KANSAS! 106 00:04:44,684 --> 00:04:51,224 HAD AN ELECTION. 107 00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:52,258 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 108 00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:53,092 HAD AN ELECTION AND ABORTION 109 00:04:53,159 --> 00:04:55,294 RIGHTS WAS ON THE BALLOT AND IT 110 00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:56,529 WON BIG IN KANSAS. 111 00:04:56,596 --> 00:04:57,463 YOU KNOW WHO SPENT A LOT OF 112 00:04:57,530 --> 00:04:59,332 MONEY ON THIS TRYING TO GET IT 113 00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:02,502 TO GO THE OTHER WAY AGAINST? 114 00:05:02,568 --> 00:05:03,703 THE CATHOLIC CHURCH SPENT 115 00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:04,737 MILLIONS, MILLIONS THAT COULD 116 00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:09,909 HAVE GONE ON TO PAY OFF KIDS 117 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:13,780 THEY RAPED. 118 00:05:13,846 --> 00:05:16,449 [LAUGHTER] 119 00:05:16,516 --> 00:05:18,117 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 120 00:05:18,184 --> 00:05:21,821 IT WAS A MIXED DAY, TUESDAY, 121 00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:22,155 ELECTION DAY. 122 00:05:22,221 --> 00:05:24,524 A LOT OF ELECTION DENIERS WON IN 123 00:05:24,590 --> 00:05:25,692 ARIZONA AND A BUNCH OF OTHER 124 00:05:25,758 --> 00:05:26,092 STATES. 125 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:27,894 PROBABLY THE WORST ONE OF ALL ON 126 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,262 THE REPUBLICAN SIDE, ERIC 127 00:05:29,328 --> 00:05:30,830 BRIGHTENS IN MISSOURI, HE LOST. 128 00:05:30,897 --> 00:05:36,102 HE WAS THE GOVERNOR. 129 00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:36,736 HE'S NOT NOT WELL-KNOWN BUT HE 130 00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:41,307 HAD TO RESIGN FOR A SEX SCANDAL, 131 00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:42,709 NOW HE ALLEGEDLY WAS COERCING 132 00:05:42,775 --> 00:05:44,877 HIS HAIR DRESSER INTO GIVING HIM 133 00:05:44,944 --> 00:05:45,144 ORAL SEX. 134 00:05:45,211 --> 00:05:47,513 HE TIED HER UP, TORE HER CLOSE, 135 00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:49,248 SPANKED HER, TOOK NUDE PHOTOS OF 136 00:05:49,315 --> 00:05:51,350 HER WITHOUT HER PERMISSION, WHAT 137 00:05:51,417 --> 00:05:56,989 WE IN HOLLYWOOD CALL CASTING. 138 00:05:57,056 --> 00:06:00,893 [LAUGHTER] 139 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:01,828 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 140 00:06:01,894 --> 00:06:05,431 THE OTHER BIG WIN THIS WEEK FOR 141 00:06:05,498 --> 00:06:08,668 JOE BIDEN -- I KNOW YOU KIDS 142 00:06:08,735 --> 00:06:15,875 DON'T KNOW WHO ZAWAHIRI. 143 00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:18,010 HIM HE WAS THE MASTERMIND, HE 144 00:06:18,077 --> 00:06:23,549 WAS THE REAL PLANNER, BIN LADEN 145 00:06:23,616 --> 00:06:27,386 WAS A PIMP. 146 00:06:27,453 --> 00:06:29,922 THEY GOT HIM. 147 00:06:29,989 --> 00:06:34,260 TOOK THEM 21 YEARS, WHO WAS THE 148 00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:39,198 KILL SQUAD, THE VOLTE POLICE 149 00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:42,401 SQUAD? 150 00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:42,668 [LAUGHTER] 151 00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:42,935 [APPLAUSE] 152 00:06:43,002 --> 00:06:45,905 LISTEN TO THIS BUT THIS IS HOW 153 00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:47,540 BAD OUR MILITARY IS, THEY GOT 154 00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:48,908 HIM STANDING ON HIS BALCONY, 155 00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:50,510 DIDN'T KILL ANYBODY ELSE, IT 156 00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:53,679 WASN'T A BOMB, IT WAS A HELLFIRE 157 00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:54,881 ARE 9X. 158 00:06:54,947 --> 00:06:56,883 IT HAS SIX ROTATING BLADES AND A 159 00:06:56,949 --> 00:07:03,623 STRIP OF SOOTHING ALOE. 160 00:07:03,689 --> 00:07:10,363 IT JUST -- IN TWO WEEKS, YOUR 161 00:07:10,429 --> 00:07:11,664 8-YEAR-OLD WILL BE USING IT ON 162 00:07:11,731 --> 00:07:14,000 CALL OF DUTY, THIS WEAPON. 163 00:07:14,066 --> 00:07:17,670 THEY GOT HIM ON THE BALCONY 164 00:07:17,737 --> 00:07:18,838 THERE AND IRONICALLY THEY WOULD 165 00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:19,839 NEVER HAVE KNOWN IT WAS HIM IF 166 00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:24,877 HE WAS WEARING A BURQA. 167 00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:32,218 [LAUGHTER] 168 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:33,853 THE OTHER BIG INTERNATIONAL 169 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:35,188 NEWS, NANCY PELOSI WENT TO 170 00:07:35,254 --> 00:07:35,421 TAIWAN. 171 00:07:35,488 --> 00:07:37,223 LOVE PEOPLE DIDN'T WANT HER TO 172 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,825 GO, SHE SAID FUCK THAT, I'M 173 00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:41,194 GOING. 174 00:07:41,260 --> 00:07:44,997 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 175 00:07:45,064 --> 00:07:47,400 IT INFURIATED CHINA AND OUT OF 176 00:07:47,466 --> 00:07:51,771 HABIT JOHN CENA APOLOGIZED. 177 00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:56,275 [LAUGHTER] 178 00:07:56,342 --> 00:07:56,976 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 179 00:07:57,043 --> 00:07:59,445 NANCY SAID I HAD TO GO, I HAD TO 180 00:07:59,512 --> 00:08:01,747 MAKE THE CASE FOR PRESERVING 181 00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:02,882 DEMOCRACY AND REJECTING 182 00:08:02,949 --> 00:08:03,282 AUTHORITARIANISM. 183 00:08:03,349 --> 00:08:04,350 IF THAT WORKS THERE I'M GOING TO 184 00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:07,787 TRY IT ON THE REPUBLICANS. 185 00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:08,487 OKAY, WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW, 186 00:08:08,554 --> 00:08:09,288 MATT TAIBBI AND LIS SMITH ARE 187 00:08:09,355 --> 00:08:09,989 HERE, BUT FIRST. 188 00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:10,756 HE'S AN AWARD-WINNING ACTOR, 189 00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:11,424 DIRECTOR, MUSICIAN, AND 190 00:08:11,490 --> 00:08:12,124 BEST-SELLING AUTHOR. 191 00:08:12,191 --> 00:08:12,959 HIS LATEST BOOK IS "THE 192 00:08:13,025 --> 00:08:13,659 RESERVOIR: A NOVELLA": DAVID 193 00:08:13,726 --> 00:08:18,364 DUCHOVNY. 194 00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:18,831 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 195 00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:29,709 ♪ ♪ 196 00:08:29,775 --> 00:08:30,176 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 197 00:08:30,243 --> 00:08:32,178 ♪ ♪ 198 00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:34,413 YOU LOOK GREAT, THE PEOPLE LOVE 199 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:34,881 YOU. 200 00:08:34,947 --> 00:08:36,883 I DON'T KNOW WHEN I LAST SAW 201 00:08:36,949 --> 00:08:38,985 YOU, IT WAS A LONG TIME. 202 00:08:39,051 --> 00:08:40,152 WE USED TO PLAY BASKETBALL 203 00:08:40,219 --> 00:08:42,889 TOGETHER AT GARRY SHANDLING'S, 204 00:08:42,955 --> 00:08:43,823 YEARS AGO. 205 00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:44,557 >> GOOD DAYS. 206 00:08:44,624 --> 00:08:46,025 >> Bill: I HAVE SO MUCH TO 207 00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:47,193 CATCH UP WITH YOU ON BUT SINCE 208 00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:48,427 WE HAVE LIMITED TIME I'M GOING 209 00:08:48,494 --> 00:08:50,263 TO JUMP INTO YOUR BOOK BECAUSE I 210 00:08:50,329 --> 00:08:51,831 FEEL LIKE THAT IS THE BEST WAY 211 00:08:51,898 --> 00:08:52,965 TO GET TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE 212 00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:57,103 BECAUSE THE CHARACTER IN THIS 213 00:08:57,169 --> 00:08:59,138 NOVELLA -- I'M NOT GOING TO SAY 214 00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:02,842 IT'S YOU BUT IT'S A GUY YOUR AG 215 00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:04,644 AGE -- 216 00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:06,012 >> A MIDDLE-AGED WHITE GUY. 217 00:09:06,078 --> 00:09:07,580 >> Bill: LIVING WHERE YOU LIVE 218 00:09:07,647 --> 00:09:07,914 AT THE TIME. 219 00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:11,050 >> HE DOES LIVE WHERE I LIVE. 220 00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:13,286 >> Bill: RIGHT. 221 00:09:13,352 --> 00:09:14,921 DOING WHAT YOU WERE DOING DURING 222 00:09:14,987 --> 00:09:15,254 THE PANDEMIC. 223 00:09:15,321 --> 00:09:20,793 >> YES. 224 00:09:20,860 --> 00:09:22,895 >> Bill: I WROTE A NOVEL ONCE, 225 00:09:22,962 --> 00:09:24,664 IT'S AWESOME TO NOVEL LIES YOUR 226 00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:25,765 LIFE BECAUSE YOU CAN EDIT OUT 227 00:09:25,831 --> 00:09:27,700 THE SHIT YOU DON'T LIKE AND 228 00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:29,035 CREATE THE SHIT YOU DO LIKE OR 229 00:09:29,101 --> 00:09:30,303 EVEN EXAGGERATE YOUR BAD POINTS, 230 00:09:30,369 --> 00:09:32,905 IT'S FUN. 231 00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:38,577 >> I THINK IT WAS NEIL SIMON WHO 232 00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:40,680 SAID WHAT'S AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY 233 00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:42,348 WORK, IT'S ALL AUTOBIOGRAPHY, 234 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:47,720 EVEN THE PARTS I MAKE UP. 235 00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:47,987 [LAUGHTER] 236 00:09:48,054 --> 00:09:49,522 IT ALL GETS FILTERED THROUGH 237 00:09:49,588 --> 00:09:50,790 WHATEVER CONSCIOUSNESS I HAVE 238 00:09:50,856 --> 00:09:53,125 AND WHEN I LAND ON THE CHARACTER 239 00:09:53,192 --> 00:09:55,428 EVEN THOUGH HE LOOKS, RESEMBLES 240 00:09:55,494 --> 00:09:56,696 ME, I GET THE SLANT OF IT AND 241 00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:57,663 I'M OFF AND RUNNING WHEN I'M 242 00:09:57,730 --> 00:10:00,032 WRITING THAT WAY. 243 00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:03,102 IT IS AND IT ISN'T ME. 244 00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:03,669 THE AMAZING THING ABOUT THE 245 00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:06,072 PROCESS OF WRITING IS YOU COME 246 00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:07,940 TO IT DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY 247 00:10:08,007 --> 00:10:09,575 AND YOU'RE A DIFFERENT PERSON. 248 00:10:09,642 --> 00:10:12,078 I'M NOT SCHIZOPHRENIC BUT I'M A 249 00:10:12,144 --> 00:10:13,546 DIFFERENT PERSON EVERY DAY. 250 00:10:13,612 --> 00:10:15,181 I SIT DOWN WITH A DIFFERENT 251 00:10:15,247 --> 00:10:17,650 CONSCIOUSNESS AND IT BUILDS LIKE 252 00:10:17,717 --> 00:10:21,654 SEDIMENTATION IN A WAY. 253 00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:23,089 IT BECOMES IT'S OF THE THING, 254 00:10:23,155 --> 00:10:25,891 IT'S NOT ME IN A WAY. 255 00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:29,295 >> Bill: DO YOU WRITE HIGH? 256 00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:31,797 [LAUGHTER] 257 00:10:31,864 --> 00:10:33,466 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 258 00:10:33,532 --> 00:10:34,867 IT'S NOT AN UNREASONABLE 259 00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:36,969 QUESTION, SO MANY ARTISTS AND 260 00:10:37,036 --> 00:10:38,371 WRITERS HAVE WRITTEN HIGH. 261 00:10:38,437 --> 00:10:45,878 >> I REVISE HIGH. 262 00:10:45,945 --> 00:10:46,145 [APPLAUSE] 263 00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:47,480 I LIKE TO GET UP VERY EARLY WHEN 264 00:10:47,546 --> 00:10:50,416 I'M WRITING, BECAUSE IT'S NOT 265 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:51,884 HIGH BUT I FEEL LIKE IF YOU'RE 266 00:10:51,951 --> 00:10:52,885 COMING OUT OF SLEEP YOU'RE NOT 267 00:10:52,952 --> 00:10:57,423 QUITE IN THAT CONSCIOUS REALM. 268 00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,325 YOU ARE TRAILING YOUR 269 00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:00,393 UNCONSCIOUSNESS WITH YOU, 4:35 270 00:11:00,459 --> 00:11:03,229 IN THE MORNING, A LITTLE COFFEE, 271 00:11:03,295 --> 00:11:03,529 READY TO GO. 272 00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:05,431 >> Bill: COFFEE IS YOUR HIGH? 273 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,900 >> THAT'S JUST TO GET UP AND GO 274 00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:10,403 TO THE BATHROOM. 275 00:11:10,469 --> 00:11:12,838 [LAUGHTER] 276 00:11:12,905 --> 00:11:15,007 I WAS GIVING YOU MORE OF MY 277 00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:15,508 AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 278 00:11:15,574 --> 00:11:16,275 [LAUGHTER] 279 00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,277 >> Bill: WHAT GETS YOU HIGH? 280 00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:19,078 YOU SAID YOU REVISE. 281 00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:21,781 I HAVE THE SAME THING, I SAID 282 00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:22,148 THIS BEFORE. 283 00:11:22,214 --> 00:11:25,718 I HAVE A BICAMERAL MIND -- JUST 284 00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:26,152 LIKE CONGRESS. 285 00:11:26,218 --> 00:11:30,689 I HAVE TWO HOUSES. 286 00:11:30,756 --> 00:11:32,491 >> WHO'S GOT THE GAVEL? 287 00:11:32,558 --> 00:11:33,659 >> Bill: I HAVE THE SOBER AND 288 00:11:33,726 --> 00:11:35,594 THE STONED AND THEY HAVE TO COME 289 00:11:35,661 --> 00:11:36,896 TOGETHER ON LEGISLATION. 290 00:11:36,962 --> 00:11:38,330 WHEN THEY BOTH AGREE, I WILL 291 00:11:38,397 --> 00:11:42,101 SIGN IT. 292 00:11:42,168 --> 00:11:43,736 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 293 00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:46,238 IS THAT WE ARE TALKING ABOUT? 294 00:11:46,305 --> 00:11:47,473 >> HAVE YOU EVER READ JOE AND 295 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:59,685 BICAMERAL MIND? 296 00:11:59,752 --> 00:12:00,219 I MIGHT GET THIS WRONG SO 297 00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:00,853 FORGIVE ME BUT HE BASICALLY SAYS 298 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:01,487 GOD AS WE'VE COME TO KNOW WHAT 299 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:02,054 IS ACTUALLY ONE HALF OF OUR 300 00:12:02,121 --> 00:12:02,688 BRAIN TALKING TO THE OTHER HALF 301 00:12:02,755 --> 00:12:03,322 OF OUR BRAIN AND WE MISTOOK IT 302 00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:03,556 FOR GOD. 303 00:12:03,622 --> 00:12:06,258 BE THAT AS IT MAY -- 304 00:12:06,325 --> 00:12:07,460 >> Bill: I THINK THAT'S GIVE 305 00:12:07,526 --> 00:12:08,961 IT A LOT OF CREDIT TO PEOPLE WHO 306 00:12:09,028 --> 00:12:16,035 DON'T EVEN HAVE HALF A BRAIN. 307 00:12:16,102 --> 00:12:18,003 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 308 00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:19,371 IF ONLY THAT WERE SO. 309 00:12:19,438 --> 00:12:21,073 >> TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION, 310 00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:22,808 DUMMIES, I'M A BIG FAN OF 311 00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:23,709 GUMMY'S, THEY ARE NOSTALGIC, 312 00:12:23,776 --> 00:12:26,979 THEY REMIND YOU OF BEING A 313 00:12:27,046 --> 00:12:29,949 6-YEAR-OLD. 314 00:12:30,015 --> 00:12:32,952 YOU PUT VITAMINS IN IT AND NOW, 315 00:12:33,018 --> 00:12:39,892 IT'S FANTASTIC. 316 00:12:39,959 --> 00:12:40,359 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 317 00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:42,194 >> Bill: WHEN I WROTE MY 318 00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:43,028 NOVEL, YOU ARE OMNISCIENT. 319 00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:44,463 YOU'RE NOT THAT WAY AND ANY 320 00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:45,498 OTHER ART FORM, REALLY, YOU 321 00:12:45,564 --> 00:12:48,934 CAN'T BE THAT IN A MOVIE. 322 00:12:49,001 --> 00:12:49,702 THE CHARACTER WAS THINKING THIS, 323 00:12:49,768 --> 00:12:53,239 THEN HE WANTED TO DO THIS. 324 00:12:53,305 --> 00:12:54,573 IT'S SO MUCH FUN TO BE 325 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:57,543 OMNISCIENT, THAT IS GOD LIKE. 326 00:12:57,610 --> 00:13:00,513 >> IT IS GOD LIKE. 327 00:13:00,579 --> 00:13:01,514 YOU POINT OUT AN INTERESTING 328 00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:02,781 THING, THAT'S WHY IT'S HARD TO 329 00:13:02,848 --> 00:13:04,717 MAKE A GOOD BOOK INTO A GOOD 330 00:13:04,783 --> 00:13:05,017 MOVIE. 331 00:13:05,084 --> 00:13:07,052 IT'S OFTEN EASY TO MAKE A BAD 332 00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:09,588 BOOK INTO A GOOD MOVIE BECAUSE 333 00:13:09,655 --> 00:13:10,789 IT'S POT ORIENTED TO. 334 00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:12,391 THAT OMNISCIENCE, THAT 335 00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:13,492 CONSCIOUSNESS IS DIFFICULT TO 336 00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:16,061 GET THROUGH ON A FLAT SCREEN. 337 00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:17,263 >> Bill: THE THING THAT'S NOT 338 00:13:17,329 --> 00:13:19,565 FUN ABOUT NOVELS IS NO ONE READS 339 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:22,268 ANYMORE. 340 00:13:22,334 --> 00:13:24,503 WE ARE GOING TO SELL SOME HAIR. 341 00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:26,572 >> I HOPE SO, I CALLED MY 342 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:27,873 PUBLISHER AND HE SAID HOW DID WE 343 00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:30,276 DO OUR FIRST WEEK AT HE WAS A 344 00:13:30,342 --> 00:13:32,311 GREAT, WHAT'D WE SELL? 345 00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:36,048 HE'S LIKE 4,000 COPIES, I'M LIK 346 00:13:36,115 --> 00:13:36,815 LIKE -- 347 00:13:36,882 --> 00:13:43,656 I MUST'VE BOUGHT 2,000 OF THOSE. 348 00:13:43,722 --> 00:13:46,058 [LAUGHTER] 349 00:13:46,125 --> 00:13:46,625 [APPLAUSE] 350 00:13:46,692 --> 00:13:47,793 >> Bill: THAT'S WHAT ALWAYS 351 00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:51,230 DETERRED ME FROM DOING IT AGAIN. 352 00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:51,597 SO FEW PEOPLE -- 353 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,232 >> YOU CAN SEE IT IS LIBERATING 354 00:13:53,299 --> 00:13:58,037 BECAUSE IT'S JUST FOR YOU. 355 00:13:58,103 --> 00:13:59,605 IT'S SOMETHING YOU'RE DOING FOR 356 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:04,843 YOURSELF AND 4,000 FRIENDS. 357 00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:07,513 >> Bill: IT'S GOING TO JUMP TO 358 00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:07,980 5,000 AFTER TONIGHT. 359 00:14:08,047 --> 00:14:09,882 IT'S A GOOD BOOK. 360 00:14:09,949 --> 00:14:12,251 I LOVE IT, I THINK IT'S VERY 361 00:14:12,318 --> 00:14:13,452 CLEVER TO MAKE IT A NOVELLA 362 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:14,954 BECAUSE IN A LAND WHERE PEOPLE 363 00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:17,823 DON'T READ AT LEAST THEY GO THAT 364 00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:20,159 MEANS SHORT AND SHORT IS GOOD, I 365 00:14:20,226 --> 00:14:20,459 LIKE SHORT. 366 00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:23,429 >> PAINLESS. 367 00:14:23,495 --> 00:14:25,931 THIS IS HOW I ADVERTISE IT, NOT 368 00:14:25,998 --> 00:14:28,267 HOMEWORK. 369 00:14:28,334 --> 00:14:29,702 >> Bill: YOU KNOW IT REMINDED 370 00:14:29,768 --> 00:14:31,470 ME OF COME OF THE GYPSY EYES 371 00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:31,737 WIDE SHUT? 372 00:14:31,804 --> 00:14:34,273 THAT IS A NOVELLA. 373 00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:36,275 >> I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. 374 00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:37,676 >> Bill: YOU NEVER READ THE 375 00:14:37,743 --> 00:14:37,876 BOOK? 376 00:14:37,943 --> 00:14:39,311 >> I HAVEN'T READ THAT BOOK. 377 00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:40,312 >> Bill: I'M NOT SHAME AND 378 00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:41,680 GUILT. 379 00:14:41,747 --> 00:14:43,415 YOU KNOW THE MOVIE WITH 380 00:14:43,482 --> 00:14:43,882 TOM CRUISE? 381 00:14:43,949 --> 00:14:47,453 >> I DO KNOW THAT WAS A NOVELLA. 382 00:14:47,519 --> 00:14:48,854 >> Bill: IT'S KIND OF LIKE 383 00:14:48,921 --> 00:14:50,289 YOURS, WHEN THE GUY LEAVES HIS 384 00:14:50,356 --> 00:14:51,790 APARTMENT IN NEW YORK, YOU KIND 385 00:14:51,857 --> 00:14:52,391 OF DON'T KNOW WHAT IS REAL AND 386 00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,793 WHAT IS NOT. 387 00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:56,595 AS SOON AS TOM CRUISE GOES OUT 388 00:14:56,662 --> 00:14:59,365 OF THE HOUSE LIKE IS HE DREAMING 389 00:14:59,431 --> 00:15:01,233 THIS? 390 00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:03,035 >> I FELT THAT, I THINK WE SHARE 391 00:15:03,102 --> 00:15:04,470 THIS ASIDE FROM BEING 392 00:15:04,536 --> 00:15:05,471 AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL FOR ME BUT 393 00:15:05,537 --> 00:15:07,206 DURING COVID, WE WERE INGESTING 394 00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:07,873 THE WORLD THROUGH OUR SCREENS AS 395 00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:13,012 WE DO NOW. 396 00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:14,880 WE WERE SEEING THIS IMAGES AND 397 00:15:14,947 --> 00:15:16,649 IT WAS VERY INTENSE, WE HAD NO 398 00:15:16,715 --> 00:15:19,652 CONTACT WITH THE OUTSIDE WORLD. 399 00:15:19,718 --> 00:15:20,719 THERE WAS A SENSE OF WHEN YOU 400 00:15:20,786 --> 00:15:21,487 WENT OUTSIDE HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT 401 00:15:21,553 --> 00:15:25,057 TO EXPECT ANYMORE. 402 00:15:25,124 --> 00:15:27,126 THAT HASN'T HAPPENED IN OUR 403 00:15:27,192 --> 00:15:27,426 LIFETIMES. 404 00:15:27,493 --> 00:15:29,194 >> Bill: THAT'S WHY IT WAS A 405 00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:31,764 GOOD CONCEIT TO WRITE A NOVEL 406 00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:32,631 AROUND. 407 00:15:32,698 --> 00:15:34,466 BEFORE I LOSE YOU FOR TIME, I 408 00:15:34,533 --> 00:15:36,935 HAVE TO ASK YOU ABOUT YOUR 409 00:15:37,002 --> 00:15:37,202 FRANCHISE. 410 00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:38,404 I KNOW YOU PROBABLY DON'T THINK 411 00:15:38,470 --> 00:15:41,140 ABOUT YOURSELF AS A GUY WHO HAS 412 00:15:41,206 --> 00:15:41,640 A FRANCHISE. 413 00:15:41,707 --> 00:15:44,009 >> FOOTLOCKER? 414 00:15:44,076 --> 00:15:46,812 [LAUGHTER] 415 00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:48,080 >> Bill: I FEEL LIKE YOUR 416 00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:48,881 FRANCHISE, IT'S GREAT TO HAVE A 417 00:15:48,947 --> 00:15:50,549 FRANCHISE AND YOURS IS A GREAT 418 00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:51,717 ONE BECAUSE IT WAS A GREAT 419 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,285 SHOW -- YOU DID IT IN THE 90s, 420 00:15:53,352 --> 00:15:56,755 YOU REBOOTED IT A FEW YEARS AGO, 421 00:15:56,822 --> 00:15:59,058 THERE'S BEEN TWO MOVIES. 422 00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:00,492 YOU'RE GOING TO DO IT AGAIN AND 423 00:16:00,559 --> 00:16:06,165 YOU SHOULD DO IT AGAIN. 424 00:16:06,231 --> 00:16:09,001 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 425 00:16:09,068 --> 00:16:09,702 IT'S A GREAT SHOW, VERY 426 00:16:09,768 --> 00:16:11,804 ENTERTAINING, YOUR GREAT IN IT 427 00:16:11,870 --> 00:16:15,374 AND IT'S EVERMORE RELEVANT. 428 00:16:15,441 --> 00:16:16,508 THERE'S NOT A DAY THAT GOES BY 429 00:16:16,575 --> 00:16:20,312 WHEN I DON'T READ ABOUT -- THEY 430 00:16:20,379 --> 00:16:22,648 ARE ALL SAYING, THEY CALL THEM 431 00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:24,683 UNIDENTIFIED AERIAL PHENOMENON 432 00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:27,419 BECAUSE UFO WASN'T GOOD. 433 00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:29,288 >> THEY ARE REBRANDING. 434 00:16:29,355 --> 00:16:30,823 >> Bill: AT THE SAME FUCKING 435 00:16:30,889 --> 00:16:31,056 THING. 436 00:16:31,123 --> 00:16:32,958 >> THAT I EVER TELL YOU MY 437 00:16:33,025 --> 00:16:34,093 THEORY OF THE UFOs? 438 00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:38,063 I KNOW WE ARE OUT OF TIME -- 439 00:16:38,130 --> 00:16:39,331 >> Bill: NO, GO! 440 00:16:39,398 --> 00:16:41,667 >> YOU KNOW THE PHENOMENON OF 441 00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:43,235 SHIP OF FOOLS BACK IN MEDIEVAL 442 00:16:43,302 --> 00:16:44,636 TIMES, THEY DIDN'T HAVE PRISONS 443 00:16:44,703 --> 00:16:46,405 BUILT OR INSANE ASYLUMS BUILT, 444 00:16:46,472 --> 00:16:47,506 IT WAS BEFORE THAT. 445 00:16:47,573 --> 00:16:50,442 >> Bill: NO, I DIDN'T READ 446 00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:50,976 THAT BOOK. 447 00:16:51,043 --> 00:16:51,477 [LAUGHTER] 448 00:16:51,543 --> 00:16:53,312 >> THE IDEA IS THAT SOMETIMES 449 00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:54,246 THEY WOULD TAKE CRIMINAL 450 00:16:54,313 --> 00:16:55,047 OFFENDERS AND PUT THEM ON A SHIP 451 00:16:55,114 --> 00:16:55,948 AND SEND THEM OUT TO. 452 00:16:56,014 --> 00:16:57,683 WE DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH YOU 453 00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:59,685 ANYMORE, WE'RE GOOD TO PUT YOU 454 00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:00,819 ON THE HIGH SEAS. 455 00:17:00,886 --> 00:17:02,254 WE'LL BE TO YOU IF YOU COME UP 456 00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:03,922 ON THIS SHIP OF FOOLS, THAT'S 457 00:17:03,989 --> 00:17:09,395 WHAT THIS SHIP OF FOOLS IS. 458 00:17:09,461 --> 00:17:10,396 PEOPLE HAVE DEALINGS WITH ALIENS 459 00:17:10,462 --> 00:17:12,097 BUT TELL US STORIES, USUALLY 460 00:17:12,164 --> 00:17:14,933 THEY GET THEIR TEETH DRILLED AND 461 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:19,605 THERE ANUSES PROBED. 462 00:17:19,671 --> 00:17:21,340 MY THEORY IS SOME ADVANCED ALIEN 463 00:17:21,407 --> 00:17:24,643 CIVILIZATION HAS GOTTEN FED UP 464 00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:29,448 WITH THEIR SEX OFFENDERS AND 465 00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:33,352 THEIR DENTISTS. 466 00:17:33,419 --> 00:17:35,854 [LAUGHTER] 467 00:17:35,921 --> 00:17:36,855 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 468 00:17:36,922 --> 00:17:38,056 THEY PUT THEM ON AN 469 00:17:38,123 --> 00:17:39,491 INTERGALACTIC SHIP AND SENT THEM 470 00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:41,393 ON A GREAT SEA TO THE GALAXIES 471 00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:43,529 AND SOMETIMES THEY COME AROUND 472 00:17:43,595 --> 00:17:44,630 US. 473 00:17:44,696 --> 00:17:46,298 >> Bill: OR IT'S TO THEIR 474 00:17:46,365 --> 00:17:48,700 DENTISTS AND IT'S A VERY DEEP 475 00:17:48,767 --> 00:17:53,105 CAVITY. 476 00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:55,274 [LAUGHTER] 477 00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:55,741 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 478 00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:57,876 >> PERHAPS THEIR ANATOMIES ARE 479 00:17:57,943 --> 00:17:59,244 DIFFERENT FROM OURS. 480 00:17:59,311 --> 00:18:00,145 >> Bill: WE KNOW WHAT THEY 481 00:18:00,212 --> 00:18:03,415 LOOK LIKE, THEY LOOK THE SAME. 482 00:18:03,482 --> 00:18:06,251 WHEN NAVY PILOTS ARE SAYING I 483 00:18:06,318 --> 00:18:07,986 CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT THIS THING 484 00:18:08,053 --> 00:18:08,987 IS AND NEIL deGRASSE TYSON WAS 485 00:18:09,054 --> 00:18:11,423 HERE AND OF COURSE I HAVE THE 486 00:18:11,490 --> 00:18:13,158 UTMOST RESPECT FOR HIM, HE KNOWS 487 00:18:13,225 --> 00:18:14,092 THINGS I WILL NEVER KNOW AND 488 00:18:14,159 --> 00:18:17,996 COULD NEVER KNOW, HE POOH-POOHED 489 00:18:18,063 --> 00:18:20,732 THE IDEA THAT IT'S ALIENS. 490 00:18:20,799 --> 00:18:24,803 HE SAID WHY DO THEY JUST REVEAL 491 00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:25,471 THEMSELVES TO NAVY PILOTS. 492 00:18:25,537 --> 00:18:29,041 IT TOOK ME A YEAR TO GRASP IT. 493 00:18:29,107 --> 00:18:30,409 >> WHAT IS AT? 494 00:18:30,476 --> 00:18:31,844 >> Bill: I FORGOT TO. 495 00:18:31,910 --> 00:18:33,479 >> BECAUSE THAT'S WHO THEY ARE 496 00:18:33,545 --> 00:18:34,813 WORRIED ABOUT MIGHT BE OPPOSING 497 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,316 THEM IF THEY ARE CASING US TO 498 00:18:37,382 --> 00:18:37,850 ATTACK. 499 00:18:37,916 --> 00:18:39,985 WHAT DID THEY GIVE A SHIT ABOUT 500 00:18:40,052 --> 00:18:41,453 SOME GUY IN PEORIA, HE'S NOT 501 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,322 GOING TO FIRE A SQUIRREL GUN AT 502 00:18:43,388 --> 00:18:43,755 THEM. 503 00:18:43,822 --> 00:18:45,257 THESE ARE THE PEOPLE THEY MIGHT 504 00:18:45,324 --> 00:18:46,458 HAVE TO GO AGAINST SO THEY ARE 505 00:18:46,525 --> 00:18:48,627 SEEING WHAT THEY CAN DO. 506 00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:49,294 THAT'S WHY THE REVEAL THEMSELVES 507 00:18:49,361 --> 00:18:54,233 TO NAVY PILOTS. 508 00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:56,034 GREAT TO SEE YOU, 509 00:18:56,101 --> 00:18:57,002 CONGRATULATIONS ON THE BOOK. 510 00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:59,037 HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON ON THE 511 00:18:59,104 --> 00:18:59,438 BASKETBALL COURT. 512 00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:06,311 DAVILET'S MEET OUR PANEL! 513 00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:06,778 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 514 00:19:06,845 --> 00:19:12,217 ♪ ♪ 515 00:19:12,284 --> 00:19:13,085 HELLO. 516 00:19:13,151 --> 00:19:13,986 HE'S THE AUTHOR OF "TK NEWS" ON 517 00:19:14,052 --> 00:19:15,120 SUBSTACK AND AUTHOR OF "HATE, 518 00:19:15,187 --> 00:19:16,021 INC.: WHY TODAY'S MEDIA MAKES US 519 00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:16,889 DESPISE ONE ANOTHER": MATT 520 00:19:16,955 --> 00:19:23,595 TAIBBI. 521 00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:24,963 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 522 00:19:25,030 --> 00:19:26,031 THANKS FOR THE SHUT OUT IN YOUR 523 00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:28,867 TOM CRUISE COLUMN. 524 00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:29,635 SHE'S A DEMOCRATIC STRATEGIST 525 00:19:29,701 --> 00:19:30,502 AND AUTHOR OF THE NEW NYT 526 00:19:30,569 --> 00:19:31,103 BESTSELLING MEMOIR "ANY GIVEN 527 00:19:31,169 --> 00:19:31,637 TUESDAY: A POLITICAL LOVE 528 00:19:31,703 --> 00:19:38,410 STORY": LIS SMITH. 529 00:19:38,477 --> 00:19:42,814 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 530 00:19:42,881 --> 00:19:43,749 OKAY. 531 00:19:43,815 --> 00:19:45,317 I MENTIONED KANSAS IN THE 532 00:19:45,384 --> 00:19:45,851 MONOLOGUE TO. 533 00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:48,020 I THINK A BIG QUESTION THAT WE 534 00:19:48,086 --> 00:19:49,488 HAVE BEEN WONDERING ABOUT HAS 535 00:19:49,555 --> 00:19:51,990 BEEN ANSWERED THIS WEEK IN 536 00:19:52,057 --> 00:19:53,425 KANSAS BECAUSE PEOPLE WERE 537 00:19:53,492 --> 00:19:54,159 WONDERING AFTER THE 538 00:19:54,226 --> 00:19:56,194 SUPREME COURT GOT RID OF 539 00:19:56,261 --> 00:19:58,830 ROE VS. WADE, WOULD THIS BE A 540 00:19:58,897 --> 00:19:59,197 BIG MOTIVATOR? 541 00:19:59,264 --> 00:20:03,802 THE POLLS SAID NO. 542 00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:07,406 IT SHOWS POLLS ARE BULLSHIT, 543 00:20:07,472 --> 00:20:08,073 PEOPLE LIE, WHATEVER. 544 00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:09,107 IF THIS IS HOW THEY INDICATE 545 00:20:09,174 --> 00:20:12,244 WHAT THEY CARED ABOUT. 546 00:20:12,311 --> 00:20:12,878 KANSAS, YOU COULD NOT PICK A 547 00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:14,746 MORE PERFECT STATE TO TESTED 548 00:20:14,813 --> 00:20:18,250 THIS IN. 549 00:20:18,317 --> 00:20:19,885 THE DEMOCRATS COME OUT MOTIVATED 550 00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:21,119 BY GETTING RID -- AND NOT ONLY 551 00:20:21,186 --> 00:20:24,022 THE DEMOCRATS, THE REPUBLICANS 552 00:20:24,089 --> 00:20:27,626 TOO. 553 00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:29,595 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 554 00:20:29,661 --> 00:20:30,796 I THOUGHT THE DEMOCRATS WERE 555 00:20:30,862 --> 00:20:32,698 GOING TO GET THEIR ASS KICKED IN 556 00:20:32,764 --> 00:20:33,332 THE MIDTERM ELECTIONS, I THINK 557 00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:37,369 THIS IS A DEAL CHANGER, I THINK 558 00:20:37,436 --> 00:20:40,005 THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING. 559 00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:41,940 I THINK NOW THE DEMOCRATS COULD 560 00:20:42,007 --> 00:20:43,642 WIN THE SELECTION. 561 00:20:43,709 --> 00:20:46,345 >> I AGREE WITH YOU, WE HAVE HAD 562 00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:47,579 THIS CONVERSATION TWO MONTHS 563 00:20:47,646 --> 00:20:48,246 AGO. 564 00:20:48,313 --> 00:20:49,881 I WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU DEMOCRATS 565 00:20:49,948 --> 00:20:51,149 ARE PROBABLY GOING TO GET 566 00:20:51,216 --> 00:20:55,420 CREAMED IN NOVEMBER. 567 00:20:55,487 --> 00:20:56,855 DOBBS DOES CHANGE EVERYTHING AND 568 00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:58,624 IT CHANGES IN TWO WAYS. 569 00:20:58,690 --> 00:21:00,459 WE KNOW THERE ARE A LOT OF 570 00:21:00,525 --> 00:21:01,460 DEMOCRATS WERE DISILLUSIONED 571 00:21:01,526 --> 00:21:01,827 WITH JOE BIDEN. 572 00:21:01,893 --> 00:21:03,795 HE DIDN'T CANCEL ALL OF THEIR 573 00:21:03,862 --> 00:21:04,863 STUDENT LOANS, HE DIDN'T DO 574 00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,366 EVERYTHING THAT THEY WANTED AND 575 00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:10,669 THEY WERE GOING TO SIT ON THEIR 576 00:21:10,736 --> 00:21:11,536 ASSES IN NOVEMBER AND NOT VOTE 577 00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:12,771 FOR HIM BUT THEY CAN'T DO THAT 578 00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:15,407 ANYMORE NOW THAT THIS IS ON THE 579 00:21:15,474 --> 00:21:15,641 BALLOT. 580 00:21:15,707 --> 00:21:17,075 THAT IS ONE. 581 00:21:17,142 --> 00:21:18,210 THE SECOND THING IS THERE ARE 582 00:21:18,276 --> 00:21:23,782 THESE VOTERS I LIKE TO CALL THE 583 00:21:23,849 --> 00:21:27,352 BIDEN VOTERS, THEY VOTED FOR 584 00:21:27,419 --> 00:21:28,787 BIDEN THEN VOTED FOR GLENN 585 00:21:28,854 --> 00:21:30,422 YOUNGKIN OUT OF DISSATISFACTION 586 00:21:30,489 --> 00:21:34,026 BECAUSE INFLATION. 587 00:21:34,092 --> 00:21:38,864 >> Bill: FOR THE KIDS I'M A 588 00:21:38,930 --> 00:21:39,931 LET'S NOT TALK IN MSNBC -- 589 00:21:39,998 --> 00:21:43,035 >> I'M SORRY, I'M A JUNKIE. 590 00:21:43,101 --> 00:21:46,104 IN THE VIRGINIA GOVERNOR'S RACE 591 00:21:46,171 --> 00:21:49,274 AFTER BIDEN WON BY TEN POINTS, 592 00:21:49,341 --> 00:21:50,275 GLENN YOUNGKIN -- 593 00:21:50,342 --> 00:21:52,878 >> Bill: HE'S A REPUBLICAN, HE 594 00:21:52,944 --> 00:21:53,979 WON IN VIRGINIA. 595 00:21:54,046 --> 00:21:55,047 >> A LOT OF THOSE SUBURBAN 596 00:21:55,113 --> 00:21:58,350 VOTERS WHO WERE SWING VOTERS WHO 597 00:21:58,417 --> 00:22:01,653 WENT FROM BIDEN TO GLENN 598 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:06,124 YOUNGKIN, THE REPUBLICAN IN 599 00:22:06,191 --> 00:22:06,958 VIRGINIA. 600 00:22:07,025 --> 00:22:11,196 >> Bill: DON'T INSULT THEM. 601 00:22:11,263 --> 00:22:12,964 LET'S BE INCLUSIVE, I THOUGHT 602 00:22:13,031 --> 00:22:15,534 DEMOCRATS WANTED TO BE INCLUSIV 603 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:15,801 INCLUSIVE. 604 00:22:15,867 --> 00:22:18,770 WHAT'S YOUR POINT? 605 00:22:18,837 --> 00:22:21,173 >> I DO NOT THINK THEY WILL VOTE 606 00:22:21,239 --> 00:22:22,908 FOR REPUBLICANS WHEN ABORTION IS 607 00:22:22,974 --> 00:22:23,608 ON THE BALLOT. 608 00:22:23,675 --> 00:22:24,176 >> Bill: OKAY, THAT'S WHAT I 609 00:22:24,242 --> 00:22:28,447 WAS SAYING. 610 00:22:28,513 --> 00:22:28,847 >> I APOLOGIZE. 611 00:22:28,914 --> 00:22:30,115 >> Bill: DON'T APOLOGIZE, HE 612 00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:32,150 DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG. 613 00:22:32,217 --> 00:22:34,052 I WANT TO READ GAVIN NEWSOM, I 614 00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:39,458 FEEL LIKE FLORIDA AND CALIFORNIA 615 00:22:39,524 --> 00:22:41,526 CRYSTALLIZE THE TWO SIDES OF 616 00:22:41,593 --> 00:22:42,961 AMERICA. 617 00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:44,629 IT'S SO INTERESTING, 618 00:22:44,696 --> 00:22:45,363 REPUBLICANS -- FREEDOM WAS 619 00:22:45,430 --> 00:22:49,534 ALWAYS THEIR BRAND. 620 00:22:49,601 --> 00:22:50,669 NOW ABORTION RIGHTS TAKING AWAY 621 00:22:50,736 --> 00:22:53,171 YOUR FREEDOM, IT'S KIND OF A NEW 622 00:22:53,238 --> 00:22:54,039 BALL GAME WITH THAT. 623 00:22:54,106 --> 00:22:56,608 THIS IS AN AD THAT OUR GOVERNOR 624 00:22:56,675 --> 00:22:58,043 GAVIN NEWSOM RAN IN FLORIDA. 625 00:22:58,110 --> 00:22:58,844 HE SAID FREEDOM IS UNDER ATTACK 626 00:22:58,910 --> 00:23:00,412 IN YOUR STATE. 627 00:23:00,479 --> 00:23:05,383 THIS IS GAVIN NEWSOM OF 628 00:23:05,450 --> 00:23:06,218 CALIFORNIA DRESSING FLORIDA 629 00:23:06,284 --> 00:23:06,451 VOTERS. 630 00:23:06,518 --> 00:23:07,486 YOUR REPUBLICAN LEADERS ARE 631 00:23:07,552 --> 00:23:08,620 BANNING BOOKS AND MAKING IT 632 00:23:08,687 --> 00:23:10,388 HARDER TO VOTE, RESTRICTING 633 00:23:10,455 --> 00:23:12,491 SPEECH IN CLASSROOMS, EVEN 634 00:23:12,557 --> 00:23:12,924 CRIMINALIZING WOMEN. 635 00:23:12,991 --> 00:23:16,962 I URGE ALL FLORIDA TO JOIN US IN 636 00:23:17,028 --> 00:23:18,764 THE FIGHT, THIS IS SO OPPOSITE 637 00:23:18,830 --> 00:23:20,365 OF WHAT THEY USED TO DO. 638 00:23:20,432 --> 00:23:22,567 FREEDOM OF SPEECH, FREEDOM TO 639 00:23:22,634 --> 00:23:24,803 CHOOSE, FREEDOM FROM HATE, 640 00:23:24,870 --> 00:23:25,437 FREEDOM TO LOVE. 641 00:23:25,504 --> 00:23:28,640 DON'T LET THEM TAKE YOUR FREEDO 642 00:23:28,707 --> 00:23:28,874 FREEDOM. 643 00:23:28,940 --> 00:23:31,076 MY QUESTION IS WHO'S GOT THE 644 00:23:31,143 --> 00:23:32,244 FREEDOM FIGHT NOW? 645 00:23:32,310 --> 00:23:33,411 I CAN SEE THE REPUBLICANS SAYING 646 00:23:33,478 --> 00:23:34,379 WE STAND UP FOR YOUR RIGHTS TO 647 00:23:34,446 --> 00:23:38,450 HAVE YOUR GUNS, COVID BULLSHIT 648 00:23:38,517 --> 00:23:39,351 MANDATES, YOU HAVE YOUR FREEDOM 649 00:23:39,417 --> 00:23:41,920 TO BE FREE, I DON'T ALWAYS FEEL 650 00:23:41,987 --> 00:23:44,422 FREE IN THIS STATE I MUST SAY 651 00:23:44,489 --> 00:23:45,624 AND I HAVE FELT FREER IN 652 00:23:45,690 --> 00:23:45,957 FLORIDA. 653 00:23:46,024 --> 00:23:47,192 BUT WHO WINS THE FREEDOM BATTLE 654 00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:50,228 RIGHT NOW? 655 00:23:50,295 --> 00:23:51,763 >> I'M KIND OF AN OLD-SCHOOL 656 00:23:51,830 --> 00:23:53,732 LIBERAL, I THINK IF YOU DON'T 657 00:23:53,799 --> 00:23:55,167 BELIEVE IN FREEDOM FOR THE 658 00:23:55,233 --> 00:23:56,668 PEOPLE YOU REALLY DISLIKE YOU 659 00:23:56,735 --> 00:23:58,703 PROBABLY DON'T BELIEVE IN IT AT 660 00:23:58,770 --> 00:24:02,073 ALL. 661 00:24:02,140 --> 00:24:02,541 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 662 00:24:02,607 --> 00:24:05,277 ♪ ♪ 663 00:24:05,343 --> 00:24:09,214 MUSICAL AND BOTH PARTIES HAVE 664 00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:09,815 BEEN BAD ABOUT THAT IN RECENT 665 00:24:09,881 --> 00:24:12,250 ELECTION CYCLES. 666 00:24:12,317 --> 00:24:13,785 YOU SEE THIS WITH THE VERY 667 00:24:13,852 --> 00:24:17,389 RESTRICTIVE REPUBLICANS LAWS 668 00:24:17,455 --> 00:24:19,357 THAT ARE BEING PASSED, A 669 00:24:19,424 --> 00:24:19,991 NORTH CAROLINA BILL THAT 670 00:24:20,058 --> 00:24:21,960 WOULD'VE REQUIRED PEOPLE TO 671 00:24:22,027 --> 00:24:23,562 REPORT KIDS FOR SHOWING SIGNS OF 672 00:24:23,628 --> 00:24:25,597 GENDER NONCONFORMITY, THAT IS A 673 00:24:25,664 --> 00:24:26,565 REALLY SCARY BILL. 674 00:24:26,631 --> 00:24:28,233 ON THE DEMOCRATIC SIDE YOU HAVE 675 00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:30,468 ALL THIS INTERNET CENSORSHIP. 676 00:24:30,535 --> 00:24:32,704 THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA HAS 677 00:24:32,771 --> 00:24:34,673 396,000 REGULATIONS WHICH IS 678 00:24:34,739 --> 00:24:39,177 100,000 MORE THAN ANY OTHER 679 00:24:39,244 --> 00:24:39,611 STATE. 680 00:24:39,678 --> 00:24:41,813 I DON'T THINK EITHER PARTY HAS A 681 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:42,814 PARTICULAR STRANGLEHOLD ON 682 00:24:42,881 --> 00:24:44,983 FREEDOM, THEY ARE BOTH WEAK ON 683 00:24:45,050 --> 00:24:45,283 THIS ISSUE. 684 00:24:45,350 --> 00:24:48,019 >> THIS IS WHAT I DISAGREE. 685 00:24:48,086 --> 00:24:49,554 I THINK THE DEMOCRATS WILL GO 686 00:24:49,621 --> 00:24:51,423 INTO NOVEMBER AS THE PARTY OF 687 00:24:51,489 --> 00:24:51,656 FREEDOM. 688 00:24:51,723 --> 00:24:53,191 DEMOCRATS ARE STANDING UP R 689 00:24:53,258 --> 00:24:55,060 THE FREEDOM OF WOMEN TO MAKE 690 00:24:55,126 --> 00:24:59,865 THEIR OWN HEALTH CARE DECISIONS. 691 00:24:59,931 --> 00:25:04,035 THE FREEDOM OF PEOPLE TO MARRY 692 00:25:04,102 --> 00:25:08,440 WHO THEY LOVE, AND THE FREEDOM 693 00:25:08,506 --> 00:25:10,075 TO KNOW THEY CAN SEND THEIR KIDS 694 00:25:10,141 --> 00:25:11,209 TO SCHOOL WITHOUT FEAR OF THEM 695 00:25:11,276 --> 00:25:17,682 BEING SHOT UP. 696 00:25:17,749 --> 00:25:19,417 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 697 00:25:19,484 --> 00:25:21,553 TO YOUR POINT ABOUT THE G.O.P. 698 00:25:21,620 --> 00:25:23,021 ARGUMENT ABOUT FREEDOM, OH, MY 699 00:25:23,088 --> 00:25:24,956 GOD, -- BIG GOVERNMENT THEY ARE 700 00:25:25,023 --> 00:25:26,391 MAKING US WEAR MASKS. 701 00:25:26,458 --> 00:25:29,060 THE TEMERITY, ALL THIS -- THE 702 00:25:29,127 --> 00:25:30,562 PEOPLE WHO SAID WE WANT SMALL 703 00:25:30,629 --> 00:25:33,598 GOVERNMENTS, NOW THEY WANT TO 704 00:25:33,665 --> 00:25:35,166 MAKE THE MOST PRIVATE 705 00:25:35,233 --> 00:25:36,401 HEALTH CARE DECISIONS FOR WOMEN. 706 00:25:36,468 --> 00:25:39,671 THEY WANT TO PUT MIKE PENCE IN 707 00:25:39,738 --> 00:25:42,073 THE OB-GYN EXAM ROOM WITH WOMEN 708 00:25:42,140 --> 00:25:43,074 WHEN THEIR FEET ARE IN 709 00:25:43,141 --> 00:25:45,477 START-UPS. 710 00:25:45,543 --> 00:25:45,944 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 711 00:25:46,011 --> 00:25:47,979 >> Bill: AND WE ARE ALL 712 00:25:48,046 --> 00:25:50,148 AGAINST THAT, BUT PRIVATE 713 00:25:50,215 --> 00:25:52,817 HEALTH CARE DECISIONS, CAREFUL 714 00:25:52,884 --> 00:25:53,218 WITH THAT PHRASE. 715 00:25:53,285 --> 00:25:54,953 I READ IN THE FRONT PAGE OF 716 00:25:55,020 --> 00:25:55,553 "THE NEW YORK TIMES" THIS WEEK 717 00:25:55,620 --> 00:25:58,156 THERE IS A NEW VOTING BLOC, A 718 00:25:58,223 --> 00:26:01,226 NEW CONSTITUENCY -- EMPTY 719 00:26:01,293 --> 00:26:01,693 MANDATE. 720 00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:02,560 IT'S MOSTLY PARENTS BUT THESE 721 00:26:02,627 --> 00:26:04,963 ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT GOING TO 722 00:26:05,030 --> 00:26:06,164 VOTE BASED ON REPUBLICAN OR 723 00:26:06,231 --> 00:26:06,431 DEMOCRAT. 724 00:26:06,498 --> 00:26:09,601 THEY ARE GOING TO VOTE BASED ON 725 00:26:09,668 --> 00:26:10,568 COVID POLICY. 726 00:26:10,635 --> 00:26:12,938 I'M ONE OF THEM AND I DON'T EVEN 727 00:26:13,004 --> 00:26:14,639 HAVE KIDS. 728 00:26:14,706 --> 00:26:15,607 IT'S A MEDICAL ISSUE. 729 00:26:15,674 --> 00:26:17,075 I DO NOT WANT TO BE DICTATED, 730 00:26:17,142 --> 00:26:21,646 THERE IS NO "THE SCIENCE." 731 00:26:21,713 --> 00:26:23,048 ESPECIALLY IN MEDICAL SCIENCE. 732 00:26:23,114 --> 00:26:24,349 YOU CAN RECOMMEND WHATEVER YOU 733 00:26:24,416 --> 00:26:25,884 LIKE BUT I MUST INSIST YOU DON'T 734 00:26:25,951 --> 00:26:31,790 INSIST HOW I HANDLE MY HEALTH. 735 00:26:31,856 --> 00:26:35,593 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 736 00:26:35,660 --> 00:26:37,796 OBAMA TOLD ME IF YOU LIKE YOUR 737 00:26:37,862 --> 00:26:39,664 DOCTOR YOU CAN KEEP YOUR DOCTOR, 738 00:26:39,731 --> 00:26:41,733 WELL I DID AND I DO. 739 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:43,401 AND MY DOCTORS SAY VERY 740 00:26:43,468 --> 00:26:44,369 DIFFERENT THINGS BECAUSE DOCTORS 741 00:26:44,436 --> 00:26:46,338 WERE AFRAID TO SPEAK OUT. 742 00:26:46,404 --> 00:26:48,473 YOU HAVE WRITTEN ABOUT THIS A 743 00:26:48,540 --> 00:26:50,208 LOT AND I WANT TO LISTEN TO THE 744 00:26:50,275 --> 00:26:51,710 ONES WHO ARE SOMETIMES AFRAID TO 745 00:26:51,776 --> 00:26:53,478 SPEAK OUT ALTHOUGH YOU CAN FIND 746 00:26:53,545 --> 00:26:54,579 THEM. 747 00:26:54,646 --> 00:26:55,880 >> I THINK THAT IS THE ONE ISSUE 748 00:26:55,947 --> 00:26:56,982 WHERE DEMOCRATS ARE REALLY, 749 00:26:57,048 --> 00:27:00,251 REALLY WEAK MOTHER THE FREEDOM 750 00:27:00,318 --> 00:27:02,754 TOPIC IS THE FREEDOM OF SPEECH 751 00:27:02,821 --> 00:27:03,621 ISSUE. 752 00:27:03,688 --> 00:27:05,123 THAT HAS BECOME A DIFFICULT AND 753 00:27:05,190 --> 00:27:08,560 FRAUGHT ISSUE FOR DEMOCRATS. 754 00:27:08,626 --> 00:27:09,861 EVER SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE 755 00:27:09,928 --> 00:27:13,365 CONTENT MODERATION ERA ON THE 756 00:27:13,431 --> 00:27:14,165 INTERNET, THERE ARE A LOT OF 757 00:27:14,232 --> 00:27:14,833 PEOPLE WHO ASSOCIATE THE 758 00:27:14,899 --> 00:27:15,567 DEMOCRATIC PARTY WITH PEOPLE 759 00:27:15,633 --> 00:27:18,837 BEING TAKEN OFF THE INTERNET AND 760 00:27:18,903 --> 00:27:19,371 PEOPLE BEING AFRAID TO SAY 761 00:27:19,437 --> 00:27:21,239 CERTAIN THINGS. 762 00:27:21,306 --> 00:27:24,909 THAT'S NOT A POSITIVE. 763 00:27:24,976 --> 00:27:26,678 IT'S COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF WHAT I 764 00:27:26,745 --> 00:27:27,512 REMEMBER LIBERALISM BEING ABOUT 765 00:27:27,579 --> 00:27:30,382 WHEN I WAS GROWING UP. 766 00:27:30,448 --> 00:27:32,250 >> Bill: ESPECIALLY IN MEDICAL 767 00:27:32,317 --> 00:27:33,752 SCIENCE WHICH IS EMINENTLY 768 00:27:33,818 --> 00:27:34,719 DEBATABLE AND THEY HAVE ALREADY 769 00:27:34,786 --> 00:27:39,791 BEEN WRONG ABOUT SO MUCH IN THIS 770 00:27:39,858 --> 00:27:40,959 PARTICULAR CRISIS THAT WE HAVE 771 00:27:41,026 --> 00:27:41,960 HAD, NOT TO MENTION EVERYTHING 772 00:27:42,027 --> 00:27:45,130 THEY HAD BEEN WRONG ABOUT IN THE 773 00:27:45,196 --> 00:27:45,563 PAST. 774 00:27:45,630 --> 00:27:46,998 DON'T SIT THERE IN YOUR WHITE 775 00:27:47,065 --> 00:27:48,600 COACH TELLING ME WE HAVE ALL THE 776 00:27:48,666 --> 00:27:48,833 ANSWERS. 777 00:27:48,900 --> 00:27:52,637 YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T. 778 00:27:52,704 --> 00:27:54,272 I WILL FIND THE ANSWERS WITH 779 00:27:54,339 --> 00:27:55,573 PEOPLE I WANT TO FIND IT FROM 780 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:56,274 HIM AND HE WILL NOT TELL ME HOW 781 00:27:56,341 --> 00:27:58,777 TO HANDLE IT. 782 00:27:58,843 --> 00:27:59,844 >> I DO AGREE WITH THAT AND 783 00:27:59,911 --> 00:28:03,214 YOU'VE SEEN THAT IN THE 784 00:28:03,281 --> 00:28:06,885 BACKLASH, ESPECIALLY AMONG 785 00:28:06,951 --> 00:28:07,619 PARENTS WITH EDUCATION POLICIES. 786 00:28:07,685 --> 00:28:10,355 I DON'T HAVE KIDS IN SCHOOL -- 787 00:28:10,422 --> 00:28:12,957 >> I'M A PARENT. 788 00:28:13,024 --> 00:28:13,491 >> OKAY. 789 00:28:13,558 --> 00:28:14,426 >> Bill: HOW WAS IT? 790 00:28:14,492 --> 00:28:17,562 >> AWESOME. 791 00:28:17,629 --> 00:28:18,563 >> Bill: IT'S TERRIBLE, I 792 00:28:18,630 --> 00:28:19,464 NEVER HEAR A GOOD THING ABOUT 793 00:28:19,531 --> 00:28:22,000 IT. 794 00:28:22,067 --> 00:28:22,567 [LAUGHTER] 795 00:28:22,634 --> 00:28:24,202 SPEAK OF THE DISTANCE LEARNING, 796 00:28:24,269 --> 00:28:26,071 THE MASKING, AND WE WENT TOO FAR 797 00:28:26,137 --> 00:28:28,473 ON THAT AND ALIENATED PEOPLE. 798 00:28:28,540 --> 00:28:32,243 I SEE YOUR VIEWPOINT ON THAT AND 799 00:28:32,310 --> 00:28:34,879 I AGREE WITH YOUR VIEWPOINT. 800 00:28:34,946 --> 00:28:35,647 SPEAK OF THE DEMOCRATS ARE 801 00:28:35,713 --> 00:28:36,848 EXPERIENCING AN UNPRECEDENTED 802 00:28:36,915 --> 00:28:38,616 SWING AND APPROVAL NUMBERS ON 803 00:28:38,683 --> 00:28:39,984 THE EDUCATION ISSUE. 804 00:28:40,051 --> 00:28:41,219 AS RECENTLY AS THE OBAMA YEARS 805 00:28:41,286 --> 00:28:45,156 THEY HAD A 29-30. LEAD, NOW IT'S 806 00:28:45,223 --> 00:28:45,557 A DEAD HEAT. 807 00:28:45,623 --> 00:28:50,595 YOU ADD THAT TO THE SWINGS AMONG 808 00:28:50,662 --> 00:28:51,196 HISPANIC VOTERS, THAT'S ONE OF 809 00:28:51,262 --> 00:28:53,298 THE REASONS TO BE PESSIMISTIC 810 00:28:53,364 --> 00:28:57,235 ABOUT THE MIDTERMS. 811 00:28:57,302 --> 00:28:58,570 >> Bill: WHAT IF THE FREEDOM 812 00:28:58,636 --> 00:29:00,071 ISSUE -- THIS IS WHAT I HEAR 813 00:29:00,138 --> 00:29:01,739 FROM A LOT OF RIGHT-WING PEOPLE, 814 00:29:01,806 --> 00:29:02,073 FORCED CHANGE. 815 00:29:02,140 --> 00:29:06,211 THEY FEEL LIKE IN THE LAST 5-10 816 00:29:06,277 --> 00:29:08,413 YEARS THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF 817 00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:09,247 FORCED CHANGE THAT THEY DIDN'T 818 00:29:09,314 --> 00:29:11,182 VOTE FOR. 819 00:29:11,249 --> 00:29:14,486 SOME THINGS I THINK MOST PEOPLE 820 00:29:14,552 --> 00:29:16,354 ARE FOR NOW, GAY MARRIAGE BUT 821 00:29:16,421 --> 00:29:16,955 THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF PRONOUNS 822 00:29:17,021 --> 00:29:20,792 AND BATHROOMS AND PENISES IN THE 823 00:29:20,859 --> 00:29:22,160 WOMEN'S LOCKER ROOM. 824 00:29:22,227 --> 00:29:23,294 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? 825 00:29:23,361 --> 00:29:25,096 CANCELING PEOPLE AND 6-YEAR-OLDS 826 00:29:25,163 --> 00:29:27,532 WHO ARE OPPRESSORS. 827 00:29:27,599 --> 00:29:31,870 I THINK THEIR VIEW IS TRUMP 828 00:29:31,936 --> 00:29:32,470 ISN'T FOR REAL VOTING BUT WE 829 00:29:32,537 --> 00:29:41,613 DIDN'T VOTE FOR THIS EITHER. 830 00:29:41,679 --> 00:29:43,047 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 831 00:29:43,114 --> 00:29:45,650 >> WHAT I WOULD SAY ABOUT THAT 832 00:29:45,717 --> 00:29:47,719 IS WHEN PEOPLE SAY OH, MY GOD, 833 00:29:47,785 --> 00:29:49,521 IT'S THE DEMOCRATS WHO ARE SO 834 00:29:49,587 --> 00:29:52,957 WRAPPED UP IN IDENTITY POLITICS, 835 00:29:53,024 --> 00:29:55,393 IT'S NOT THE DEMOCRATS WHO ARE 836 00:29:55,460 --> 00:29:56,694 OBSESSING OVER WHAT BATHROOMS 837 00:29:56,761 --> 00:29:57,428 KIDS GO TO. 838 00:29:57,495 --> 00:29:59,564 IT'S NOT DEMOCRATS WHO ARE 839 00:29:59,631 --> 00:30:01,966 INTRODUCING BILLS IN PLACES LIKE 840 00:30:02,033 --> 00:30:03,768 OHIO SAYING THAT SCHOOL KIDS 841 00:30:03,835 --> 00:30:05,303 NEED CHECKS, THAT IS CREEPY. 842 00:30:05,370 --> 00:30:08,706 THAT IS NOT FREEDOM >> Bill: 843 00:30:08,773 --> 00:30:09,707 I'M NOT FAMILIAR WITH THE 844 00:30:09,774 --> 00:30:12,010 CHECKS. 845 00:30:12,076 --> 00:30:13,711 >> IN OHIO THERE IS A BILL 846 00:30:13,778 --> 00:30:16,948 INTRODUCED THAT IF YOU SUSPECT A 847 00:30:17,015 --> 00:30:19,584 KID ON A SPORTS TEAM IS OF A 848 00:30:19,651 --> 00:30:20,718 DIFFERENT GENDER, THERE COULD BE 849 00:30:20,785 --> 00:30:23,721 A CHECK OF THEM. 850 00:30:23,788 --> 00:30:25,924 AND REPUBLICANS INTRODUCED THAT 851 00:30:25,990 --> 00:30:27,525 BILL. 852 00:30:27,592 --> 00:30:27,825 IT'S CREEPY. 853 00:30:27,892 --> 00:30:31,930 >> Bill: IT'S CREEPY -- I 854 00:30:31,996 --> 00:30:32,864 DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY -- SHOULDN'T 855 00:30:32,931 --> 00:30:36,534 IT BE OBVIOUS? 856 00:30:36,601 --> 00:30:38,970 >> IS NOT DEMOCRATS WHO ARE 857 00:30:39,037 --> 00:30:39,370 INTRODUCING THAT. 858 00:30:39,437 --> 00:30:41,172 >> Bill: YOU'RE SAYING THEY 859 00:30:41,239 --> 00:30:42,207 ARE IMPOSTERS, THE PEOPLE WHO 860 00:30:42,273 --> 00:30:46,444 ARE PRETENDING TO BE OF ONE SEX? 861 00:30:46,511 --> 00:30:48,613 THAT'S WHAT IS PROMPTED THIS 862 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:48,913 BILL? 863 00:30:48,980 --> 00:30:55,720 >> I THINK WHAT PROMPTED IT IS A 864 00:30:55,787 --> 00:30:56,588 VERY CREEPY URGE AMONG 865 00:30:56,654 --> 00:30:58,790 REPUBLICANS TO INVADE PEOPLE'S 866 00:30:58,856 --> 00:31:03,294 PRIVACY. 867 00:31:03,361 --> 00:31:04,762 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 868 00:31:04,829 --> 00:31:05,597 >> Bill: IT'S CEASES TO BE A 869 00:31:05,663 --> 00:31:06,564 PRIVATE THING IF YOU'RE 870 00:31:06,631 --> 00:31:09,534 COMPETING AGAINST OTHER PEOPLE. 871 00:31:09,601 --> 00:31:10,401 THERE ARE MANY WOMEN ATHLETES 872 00:31:10,468 --> 00:31:12,637 WHO ARE UP IN ARMS ABOUT THIS 873 00:31:12,704 --> 00:31:14,706 WHO SAY I'M ACTUALLY COMPETING 874 00:31:14,772 --> 00:31:16,941 AGAINST A MAN COME ON COMPETING 875 00:31:17,008 --> 00:31:18,543 AGAINST SOMEONE WITH DIFFERENT 876 00:31:18,610 --> 00:31:20,011 MUSCLE MASS WHO MAY STILL HAVE A 877 00:31:20,078 --> 00:31:21,012 PENIS AND THAT'S NOT FAIR. 878 00:31:21,079 --> 00:31:26,985 I WANT TO COMPETE -- 879 00:31:27,051 --> 00:31:27,885 I WANT TO COMPETE AGAINST PEOPLE 880 00:31:27,952 --> 00:31:32,190 IN MY DIVISION BECAUSE THERE ARE 881 00:31:32,257 --> 00:31:33,358 DIFFERENT PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES 882 00:31:33,424 --> 00:31:34,692 BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN. 883 00:31:34,759 --> 00:31:35,260 I'M NOT SAYING WE SHOULD BE 884 00:31:35,326 --> 00:31:39,564 CHECKING UNDER EVERYBODY'S SKIRT 885 00:31:39,631 --> 00:31:40,765 BUT THIS WAS PROMPTED BY 886 00:31:40,832 --> 00:31:41,432 SOMETHING, IT DIDN'T COME OUT OF 887 00:31:41,499 --> 00:31:43,768 THIN AIR. 888 00:31:43,835 --> 00:31:48,339 >> WHAT I WOULD SAY -- LET'S 889 00:31:48,406 --> 00:31:50,275 LOOK AT THE STATE OF MICHIGAN. 890 00:31:50,341 --> 00:31:53,011 THERE ARE I THINK FOUR, FIVE 891 00:31:53,077 --> 00:31:57,649 KIDS WHO PLAY IN A LEAGUE THAT 892 00:31:57,715 --> 00:32:00,485 IS SEPARATE FROM THEIR BIRTH 893 00:32:00,551 --> 00:32:00,718 GENDER. 894 00:32:00,785 --> 00:32:04,422 THIS IS THE G.O.P. FINDING A 895 00:32:04,489 --> 00:32:07,792 PROBLEM AND TRYING TO DO THIS TO 896 00:32:07,859 --> 00:32:08,126 DIVIDE PEOPLE. 897 00:32:08,192 --> 00:32:11,529 THERE IS NOT SOME BIG THREAT OF 898 00:32:11,596 --> 00:32:13,798 MEN TAKING OVER WOMEN'S SPORTS. 899 00:32:13,865 --> 00:32:18,803 [APPLAUSE] 900 00:32:18,870 --> 00:32:21,205 >> Bill: MEN HAVE WON IN 901 00:32:21,272 --> 00:32:23,174 WOMEN'S SPORTS IN RECENT YEARS, 902 00:32:23,241 --> 00:32:25,376 IT'S NOT A BIG THREAT -- IT'S 903 00:32:25,443 --> 00:32:25,610 SPORTS. 904 00:32:25,677 --> 00:32:27,879 IT DOES MATTER TO PEOPLE. 905 00:32:27,945 --> 00:32:30,214 >> I AGREE WITH THAT AND I THINK 906 00:32:30,281 --> 00:32:31,316 THERE SHOULD BE COMMON SENSE 907 00:32:31,382 --> 00:32:33,918 REGULATIONS AROUND IT. 908 00:32:33,985 --> 00:32:37,188 >> Bill: IT IS AS I SAID 909 00:32:37,255 --> 00:32:38,723 ENTERING THAT POLITICAL SEASON 910 00:32:38,790 --> 00:32:42,327 AND THE JOCKEYING FOR PRESIDENT 911 00:32:42,393 --> 00:32:42,927 HAS BEGUN. 912 00:32:42,994 --> 00:32:44,529 JOSH HAWLEY WHO WAS LAST SEEN 913 00:32:44,595 --> 00:32:45,963 RUNNING FROM THE CAPITAL -- I 914 00:32:46,030 --> 00:32:47,398 LOVE THIS -- SHE WAS RUNNING AND 915 00:32:47,465 --> 00:32:49,067 YET HE HAS A NEW BOOK OUT CALLED 916 00:32:49,133 --> 00:32:50,835 "MANHOOD: THE MASCULINE VIRTUES 917 00:32:50,902 --> 00:32:57,375 AMERICA NEEDS." 918 00:32:57,442 --> 00:33:06,184 SAYS THE RUNNING MA'AM. 919 00:33:06,250 --> 00:33:06,851 MAN. 920 00:33:06,918 --> 00:33:09,320 TOM COTTON HAS ONE CALLED ONLY 921 00:33:09,387 --> 00:33:09,754 THE STRONG. 922 00:33:09,821 --> 00:33:12,156 THIS IS ALWAYS THE REPUBLICAN 923 00:33:12,223 --> 00:33:13,725 BRAND, WE HAVE TO OUT MACHO AND 924 00:33:13,791 --> 00:33:15,460 BE MORE MANLY MEN THAN THESE 925 00:33:15,526 --> 00:33:19,831 GIRLY PEOPLE ON THE OTHER SIDE. 926 00:33:19,897 --> 00:33:21,566 WE HAVE TO HOLD SOME OF THE 927 00:33:21,632 --> 00:33:22,734 OTHER BOOKS COMING OUT BY THE 928 00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:23,868 PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BE PRESIDENT, 929 00:33:23,935 --> 00:33:32,677 WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE SOME? 930 00:33:32,744 --> 00:33:33,444 TAKE A LOOK: TED CRUZ: AMERICAN 931 00:33:33,511 --> 00:33:34,145 FUCKFACE: THE CASE FOR SHOVING 932 00:33:34,212 --> 00:33:44,222 LIBERALS' HEADS IN THE TOILET. 933 00:33:44,288 --> 00:33:45,523 [LAUGHTER] 934 00:33:45,590 --> 00:33:45,790 [APPLAUSE] 935 00:33:45,857 --> 00:33:47,258 JIM JORDAN: ARE YOU THERE, SISSY 936 00:33:47,325 --> 00:33:48,059 BOY? 937 00:33:48,126 --> 00:33:50,695 IT'S ME, FIST. 938 00:33:50,762 --> 00:33:50,962 [LAUGHTER] 939 00:33:51,028 --> 00:33:52,497 [APPLAUSE] 940 00:33:52,563 --> 00:33:53,731 LINDSEY GRAHAM: POWER BOTTOM. 941 00:33:53,798 --> 00:34:00,338 NO MORE LEADING FROM BEHIND. 942 00:34:00,405 --> 00:34:00,605 [LAUGHTER] 943 00:34:00,671 --> 00:34:01,706 [APPLAUSE] 944 00:34:01,773 --> 00:34:02,573 NIKKI HALEY: DON'T NEED A DICK 945 00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:09,847 TO HAVE BALLS. 946 00:34:09,914 --> 00:34:10,615 [LAUGHTER] 947 00:34:10,681 --> 00:34:10,915 [APPLAUSE] 948 00:34:10,982 --> 00:34:12,884 MY AMERICAN STORY. 949 00:34:12,950 --> 00:34:14,018 SARAH PALIN: I KILLED A 950 00:34:14,085 --> 00:34:18,790 MOCKINGBIRD. 951 00:34:18,856 --> 00:34:19,056 [LAUGHTER] 952 00:34:19,123 --> 00:34:24,462 [APPLAUSE] 953 00:34:24,529 --> 00:34:25,096 RON DESANTIS: UN-CUCKED: LESSONS 954 00:34:25,163 --> 00:34:25,730 FROM A STATE SHAPED LIKE A BIG 955 00:34:25,797 --> 00:34:32,203 DICK. 956 00:34:32,270 --> 00:34:33,304 [LAUGHTER] 957 00:34:33,371 --> 00:34:35,807 [APPLAUSE] 958 00:34:35,873 --> 00:34:37,308 >> WE CALL IT AMERICAN SHOULD 959 00:34:37,375 --> 00:34:41,546 LONG, LONG. 960 00:34:41,612 --> 00:34:45,716 >> Bill: KEVIN McCARTHY. 961 00:34:45,783 --> 00:34:46,784 THE CASE AGAINST 962 00:34:46,851 --> 00:34:47,518 LEARNING: REAL MEN DON'T NEED 963 00:34:47,585 --> 00:34:48,219 DIRECTIONS ON HOW TO DRIVE 964 00:34:48,286 --> 00:34:51,289 AMERICA. 965 00:34:51,355 --> 00:34:51,556 [LAUGHTER] 966 00:34:51,622 --> 00:34:52,857 [APPLAUSE] 967 00:34:52,924 --> 00:34:53,991 RICK SCOTT: NO CLOTHES, NO 968 00:34:54,058 --> 00:34:55,026 PROBLEM: TOURING THE RED STATES 969 00:34:55,092 --> 00:35:02,834 NAKED ON MY HARLEY-DAVIDSON. 970 00:35:02,900 --> 00:35:03,100 [LAUGHTER] 971 00:35:03,167 --> 00:35:08,506 [APPLAUSE] 972 00:35:08,573 --> 00:35:12,710 MIKE PENCE: HUNG. 973 00:35:12,777 --> 00:35:12,977 [LAUGHTER] 974 00:35:13,044 --> 00:35:16,013 [APPLAUSE] 975 00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:17,882 HOW TO BE YOUR OWN MAN AS TOLD 976 00:35:17,949 --> 00:35:21,352 TO MRS. PENCE. 977 00:35:21,419 --> 00:35:22,053 KRISTI NOEM: A 978 00:35:22,119 --> 00:35:23,187 GOOD WOMAN AND A COLD BEER: MY 979 00:35:23,254 --> 00:35:23,754 PLAN TO TURN PETE BUTTIGIEG 980 00:35:23,821 --> 00:35:29,327 STRAIGHT. 981 00:35:29,393 --> 00:35:32,163 [LAUGHTER] 982 00:35:32,230 --> 00:35:33,698 BY THE WAY, KRISTI NOEM WAS 983 00:35:33,764 --> 00:35:34,999 SUPPOSED TO BE HERE NEXT WEEK 984 00:35:35,066 --> 00:35:36,434 SHE WAS BOOKED FOR QUITE A WHILE 985 00:35:36,501 --> 00:35:40,137 ON OUR SHOW BUT SHE CHICKENED 986 00:35:40,204 --> 00:35:40,805 OUT. 987 00:35:40,872 --> 00:35:41,539 I'M JUST SAYING TOUGH 988 00:35:41,606 --> 00:35:44,175 REPUBLICANS ARE SO TOUGH THEY 989 00:35:44,242 --> 00:35:44,842 CAN'T EVEN FACE ME. 990 00:35:44,909 --> 00:35:46,477 I UNDERSTAND WHAT DEMOCRATS DO 991 00:35:46,544 --> 00:35:49,180 IT BUT COME ON REPUBLICANS, I I 992 00:35:49,247 --> 00:35:51,616 THOUGHT YOU WERE TOUGH. 993 00:35:51,682 --> 00:35:54,352 >> YOU'RE A LITTLE SCARY, BILL. 994 00:35:54,418 --> 00:35:55,753 >> Bill: YOUR BOY, 995 00:35:55,820 --> 00:35:56,554 PETE BUTTIGIEG. 996 00:35:56,621 --> 00:35:58,689 YOU WERE THE CAMPAIGN MANAGER. 997 00:35:58,756 --> 00:36:00,291 >> SENIOR ADVISOR. 998 00:36:00,358 --> 00:36:01,726 >> Bill: YOU WERE THE RUN, I 999 00:36:01,792 --> 00:36:04,562 READ YOUR BOOK. 1000 00:36:04,629 --> 00:36:06,531 YOU FOUND THE GOLDEN BOY, HE 1001 00:36:06,597 --> 00:36:08,366 DOES HAVE REMARKABLE POLITICAL 1002 00:36:08,432 --> 00:36:08,599 SKILLS. 1003 00:36:08,666 --> 00:36:11,669 I'M A BIG FAN BUT I FEEL LIKE 1004 00:36:11,736 --> 00:36:12,870 THE DEMOCRATS HAVE NOT DONE HIM 1005 00:36:12,937 --> 00:36:16,274 A BIG FAVOR BY BEING ASSOCIATED 1006 00:36:16,340 --> 00:36:20,111 WITH ALL OF THIS RADICAL 1007 00:36:20,177 --> 00:36:21,212 SEXUALITY. 1008 00:36:21,279 --> 00:36:22,947 >> I DON'T THINK LEAH THOMAS 1009 00:36:23,014 --> 00:36:26,183 WINNING A FEW SWIMMING 1010 00:36:26,250 --> 00:36:26,450 MATCHES -- 1011 00:36:26,517 --> 00:36:27,485 >> Bill: YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH 1012 00:36:27,552 --> 00:36:28,719 THAT. 1013 00:36:28,786 --> 00:36:31,722 >> WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS IT YOU 1014 00:36:31,789 --> 00:36:33,591 LOOK AT HIS POLLING NUMBERS HE'S 1015 00:36:33,658 --> 00:36:34,458 DOING EXTREMELY WELL. 1016 00:36:34,525 --> 00:36:35,560 >> Bill: REALLY? 1017 00:36:35,626 --> 00:36:37,328 YOU GOT 8% IN SOUTH CAROLINA. 1018 00:36:37,395 --> 00:36:38,829 >> I'M TALKING ABOUT THE MOST 1019 00:36:38,896 --> 00:36:40,164 RECENT ONES AND THE MORE PEOPLE 1020 00:36:40,231 --> 00:36:41,799 HAVE GOTTEN TO KNOW HIM 1021 00:36:41,866 --> 00:36:44,368 NATIONALLY, HE HAS THE HIGHEST 1022 00:36:44,435 --> 00:36:45,136 APPROVAL RATINGS OF ANYONE IN 1023 00:36:45,202 --> 00:36:47,538 THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION. 1024 00:36:47,605 --> 00:36:52,677 >> THAT'S NOT SAYING MUCH. 1025 00:36:52,743 --> 00:36:56,847 [LAUGHTER] 1026 00:36:56,914 --> 00:37:00,751 >> TO ME WHAT IS IT THAT THE 1027 00:37:00,818 --> 00:37:01,953 DEMOCRATS ARE DOING? 1028 00:37:02,019 --> 00:37:03,721 IT'S REPUBLICANS WERE TRYING TO 1029 00:37:03,788 --> 00:37:04,288 RIP AWAY RIGHTS. 1030 00:37:04,355 --> 00:37:05,990 >> Bill: I'M SAYING EVERY TIME 1031 00:37:06,057 --> 00:37:07,391 THERE'S A PICTURE OF DRAG QUEEN 1032 00:37:07,458 --> 00:37:08,826 STORY HOUR I DON'T THINK PETE 1033 00:37:08,893 --> 00:37:11,896 LIKES IT. 1034 00:37:11,963 --> 00:37:13,431 WHAT HE'S THINKING IS OKAY, THIS 1035 00:37:13,497 --> 00:37:16,133 IS A NEW THING TO A LOT OF 1036 00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:16,734 AMERICANS. 1037 00:37:16,801 --> 00:37:17,902 GAY MARRIAGE, WE NEVER HAD A GAY 1038 00:37:17,969 --> 00:37:21,405 PRESIDENT THAT WE KNOW OF. 1039 00:37:21,472 --> 00:37:28,145 I'VE HEARD RUMORS ABOUT YOU 1040 00:37:28,212 --> 00:37:28,512 JAMES BUCHANAN. 1041 00:37:28,579 --> 00:37:29,480 YOU HAVE TO TREAD GINGERLY. 1042 00:37:29,547 --> 00:37:33,217 WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE TO HIM AS A 1043 00:37:33,284 --> 00:37:35,586 CLEVER POLITICIAN -- CAN WE JUST 1044 00:37:35,653 --> 00:37:37,989 COOL IT ON A LITTLE OF THIS? 1045 00:37:38,055 --> 00:37:39,390 PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO GET USED TO 1046 00:37:39,457 --> 00:37:41,926 THIS AND I'M TRYING TO WIN AN 1047 00:37:41,993 --> 00:37:44,462 ELECTION IN STATES THAT ARE 1048 00:37:44,528 --> 00:37:46,864 ALREADY A LITTLE WARY ABOUT THE 1049 00:37:46,931 --> 00:37:48,933 DEMOCRATS. 1050 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:52,136 >> I WOULD ARGUE THE ISSUE WITH 1051 00:37:52,203 --> 00:37:54,238 PETE BUTTIGIEG AND I COVERED HIS 1052 00:37:54,305 --> 00:37:55,840 CAMPAIGN THE LAST TIME ISN'T 1053 00:37:55,906 --> 00:37:58,609 ABOUT SEXUALITY, IT'S ABOUT 1054 00:37:58,676 --> 00:37:58,809 CLASS. 1055 00:37:58,876 --> 00:38:03,414 I REMEMBER SEEING HIM IN 1056 00:38:03,481 --> 00:38:06,150 NEW HAMPSHIRE, HE'S GOT 1057 00:38:06,217 --> 00:38:08,986 INCREDIBLE POLITICAL SKILLS. 1058 00:38:09,053 --> 00:38:09,887 YOU WILL HAVE THIS THOUGHT THIS 1059 00:38:09,954 --> 00:38:12,189 GUY IS GOING TO BE PRESIDENT 1060 00:38:12,256 --> 00:38:12,690 SOMEDAY. 1061 00:38:12,757 --> 00:38:15,993 HE'S SO QUICK AND ACCESSIBLE AND 1062 00:38:16,060 --> 00:38:17,828 I WENT OUTSIDE AND INTERVIEWED A 1063 00:38:17,895 --> 00:38:20,631 BUNCH OF PEOPLE AND YOU KNOW 1064 00:38:20,698 --> 00:38:22,667 WHAT NEW ENGLAND TOWNIES ARE 1065 00:38:22,733 --> 00:38:23,601 LIKE. 1066 00:38:23,668 --> 00:38:27,304 THERE LIKE THAT GUY WAS FUCKING 1067 00:38:27,371 --> 00:38:30,141 WEIRD. 1068 00:38:30,207 --> 00:38:30,408 [LAUGHTER] 1069 00:38:30,474 --> 00:38:32,309 THE DEMOCRATS JUST HAVE TOO MANY 1070 00:38:32,376 --> 00:38:34,845 OF THESE McKINSEY CONSULTANT 1071 00:38:34,912 --> 00:38:36,714 IVY LEAGUE TYPES. 1072 00:38:36,781 --> 00:38:38,783 YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT 1073 00:38:38,849 --> 00:38:39,650 JOE MANCHIN. 1074 00:38:39,717 --> 00:38:41,385 ABOUT HOW THERE AREN'T ENOUGH 1075 00:38:41,452 --> 00:38:44,121 PEOPLE WHO KNOW HOW TO TALK. 1076 00:38:44,188 --> 00:38:45,589 >> LOOK AT HIS NUMBERS IN 1077 00:38:45,656 --> 00:38:48,693 NEW HAMPSHIRE, I'M PRETTY SURE 1078 00:38:48,759 --> 00:38:50,695 THEY WON HER CAME IN A CLOSE 1079 00:38:50,761 --> 00:38:51,562 SECOND THERE. 1080 00:38:51,629 --> 00:38:52,830 I'M GLAD YOU FOUND SOME PEOPLE 1081 00:38:52,897 --> 00:38:54,732 TO CRITICIZE THEIR BUT HE DID 1082 00:38:54,799 --> 00:38:55,633 PRETTY WELL THERE. 1083 00:38:55,700 --> 00:38:58,269 >> Bill: TO YOUR LARGER POINT 1084 00:38:58,335 --> 00:39:01,238 AND I'VE READ YOU ON THIS, THE 1085 00:39:01,305 --> 00:39:03,641 DEMOCRATS HAVE LOST THEIR SENSE 1086 00:39:03,708 --> 00:39:04,141 OF HUMOR. 1087 00:39:04,208 --> 00:39:06,410 >> I AGREE WITH THAT. 1088 00:39:06,477 --> 00:39:08,079 >> Bill: I SAW DAVE CHAPPELLE 1089 00:39:08,145 --> 00:39:09,580 GOT KICKED OUT OF HIS VENUE A 1090 00:39:09,647 --> 00:39:10,347 COUPLE WEEKS AGO IN MINNEAPOLIS 1091 00:39:10,414 --> 00:39:12,650 AND I'M LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS 1092 00:39:12,717 --> 00:39:14,685 THIS? 1093 00:39:14,752 --> 00:39:17,354 IT JUST PISSES ME OFF, SO MANY 1094 00:39:17,421 --> 00:39:18,756 PEOPLE SAID CANCEL CULTURE ISN'T 1095 00:39:18,823 --> 00:39:19,323 A REAL THING. 1096 00:39:19,390 --> 00:39:22,293 THEY JUST KICKED HIM OUT OF THE 1097 00:39:22,359 --> 00:39:23,394 VENUE. 1098 00:39:23,461 --> 00:39:23,961 PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY BOUGHT 1099 00:39:24,028 --> 00:39:24,929 TICKETS WHICH IS AN INDICATION 1100 00:39:24,995 --> 00:39:28,532 THAT THEY WANT TO SEE YOU HAD TO 1101 00:39:28,599 --> 00:39:33,904 GO TO A DIFFERENT VENUE AND WHAT 1102 00:39:33,971 --> 00:39:35,072 HAPPENED TO FREEDOM OF ASSEMBLY 1103 00:39:35,139 --> 00:39:37,608 IN THIS COUNTRY, WE ARE FREE TO 1104 00:39:37,675 --> 00:39:38,642 ASSEMBLE AND SPEAK WHAT WE WANT 1105 00:39:38,709 --> 00:39:42,346 AND HEAR WHAT WE WANT. 1106 00:39:42,413 --> 00:39:44,348 >> IT'S NOT GOING TO BE POPULAR 1107 00:39:44,415 --> 00:39:46,183 WITH MY FRIENDS ON THE LEFT BUT 1108 00:39:46,250 --> 00:39:47,151 I AGREE WITH YOU. 1109 00:39:47,218 --> 00:39:49,954 I AM AN OLD SCHOOL COME ON WHAT 1110 00:39:50,020 --> 00:39:51,489 THE ACLU USED TO BE BEFORE IT 1111 00:39:51,555 --> 00:39:57,728 TURNED INTO WHATEVER IT IS NOW. 1112 00:39:57,795 --> 00:39:58,929 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1113 00:39:58,996 --> 00:40:00,965 MY VIEW ON COMITY IS COMEDY HAS 1114 00:40:01,031 --> 00:40:03,467 ALWAYS BEEN BOUNDARY PUSHING. 1115 00:40:03,534 --> 00:40:07,404 IT'S BEEN A LITTLE BIT OFFENSIVE 1116 00:40:07,471 --> 00:40:08,939 AND I LOVE DAVE CHAPPELLE. 1117 00:40:09,006 --> 00:40:11,776 THE ONE THING I WILL SAY ABOUT 1118 00:40:11,842 --> 00:40:13,444 DAVE CHAPPELLE IS THAT I FIND 1119 00:40:13,511 --> 00:40:15,613 COMITY A BIT FUNNIER WHEN YOU 1120 00:40:15,679 --> 00:40:18,249 PUNCH UP AT THE POWERFUL RATHER 1121 00:40:18,315 --> 00:40:20,751 THAN WHEN YOU PUNCH DOWN AT THE 1122 00:40:20,818 --> 00:40:21,919 POWERLESS. 1123 00:40:21,986 --> 00:40:22,987 THERE IS NO ONE MORE POWERLESS 1124 00:40:23,053 --> 00:40:24,989 THAN THE TRANS COMMUNITY IN 1125 00:40:25,055 --> 00:40:25,222 AMERICA. 1126 00:40:25,289 --> 00:40:26,190 >> Bill: I'M NOT GOING TO GET 1127 00:40:26,257 --> 00:40:28,592 INTO THAT ARGUMENT ALTHOUGH I 1128 00:40:28,659 --> 00:40:30,127 REJECT IT. 1129 00:40:30,194 --> 00:40:31,695 I DON'T THINK THAT IS WHAT IS 1130 00:40:31,762 --> 00:40:32,763 GOING ON. 1131 00:40:32,830 --> 00:40:33,764 THE BIGGER POINT IS YOU ARE 1132 00:40:33,831 --> 00:40:35,499 ALLOWED TO HAVE THAT POINT OF 1133 00:40:35,566 --> 00:40:38,169 VIEW AND DAVIS STILL ALLOWED TO 1134 00:40:38,235 --> 00:40:39,036 APPEAR IN MINNEAPOLIS AT THE 1135 00:40:39,103 --> 00:40:42,439 THEATER THAT HIRED HIM. 1136 00:40:42,506 --> 00:40:45,810 >> TOTALLY. 1137 00:40:45,876 --> 00:40:46,811 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1138 00:40:46,877 --> 00:40:48,345 >> HAS ANYONE EVER COME OUT 1139 00:40:48,412 --> 00:40:49,013 LOOKING GOOD BECAUSE THEY 1140 00:40:49,079 --> 00:40:53,617 CANCELED A COMIC? 1141 00:40:53,684 --> 00:40:54,618 WOULD YOU INTRODUCE YOURSELF TO 1142 00:40:54,685 --> 00:40:57,188 SOMEBODY AND SAY I'M THE GUY WHO 1143 00:40:57,254 --> 00:40:57,822 CANCELED LENNY BRUCE OR RICHARD 1144 00:40:57,888 --> 00:41:01,192 PRYOR OR DAVE CHAPPELLE WAS NECK 1145 00:41:01,258 --> 00:41:03,160 >> Bill: HISTORICALLY YOU 1146 00:41:03,227 --> 00:41:04,161 DON'T. 1147 00:41:04,228 --> 00:41:04,795 >> HISTORICALLY IT'S UNPOPULAR 1148 00:41:04,862 --> 00:41:06,997 AND THIS GETS BACK TO THE SAME 1149 00:41:07,064 --> 00:41:07,832 ISSUE. 1150 00:41:07,898 --> 00:41:09,133 IT'S AN IMAGE ISSUE FOR THE 1151 00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:09,967 DEMOCRATIC PARTY, THEY ARE SEEN 1152 00:41:10,034 --> 00:41:12,970 AS THE PEOPLE WHO ARE BEHIND 1153 00:41:13,037 --> 00:41:13,971 THIS. 1154 00:41:14,038 --> 00:41:15,039 >> Bill: I WANT TO TALK ABOUT 1155 00:41:15,105 --> 00:41:15,873 NANCY PELOSI BEFORE WE RUN OUT 1156 00:41:15,940 --> 00:41:16,373 OF TIME. 1157 00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:20,411 SHE HAD A BIG WEEK, DOMINATED 1158 00:41:20,477 --> 00:41:21,745 THE NEWS IN MANY DIFFERENT WAYS. 1159 00:41:21,812 --> 00:41:25,983 SHE DID GO TO TAIWAN AND IT'S 1160 00:41:26,050 --> 00:41:26,784 INTERESTING THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE 1161 00:41:26,851 --> 00:41:27,618 DIDN'T WANT HER TO GO FROM BOTH 1162 00:41:27,685 --> 00:41:30,120 SIDES OF THE AISLE. 1163 00:41:30,187 --> 00:41:31,555 BIDEN DIDN'T WANT HER TO GO AND 1164 00:41:31,622 --> 00:41:33,524 SEAN HANNITY DIDN'T WANT HER TO 1165 00:41:33,591 --> 00:41:36,794 GO. 1166 00:41:36,861 --> 00:41:38,662 [LAUGHTER] 1167 00:41:38,729 --> 00:41:41,298 BUT I FEEL LIKE SHE AT 82 AND 1168 00:41:41,365 --> 00:41:44,902 BIDEN BOTH LOOK SMART AND 1169 00:41:44,969 --> 00:41:48,539 MULTI-POLICY THIS WEEK. 1170 00:41:48,606 --> 00:41:56,914 I WANT TO KNOW -- THERE IS NO 1171 00:41:56,981 --> 00:42:01,285 LIMITS EXCEPT SENDING TROOPS. 1172 00:42:01,352 --> 00:42:01,919 COUNTRIES AROUND THE WORLD HAVE 1173 00:42:01,986 --> 00:42:03,354 TO UNDERSTAND WE ARE 100% BEHIND 1174 00:42:03,420 --> 00:42:05,956 YOU MEETING WE ARE 50% BEHIND 1175 00:42:06,023 --> 00:42:09,360 YOU. 1176 00:42:09,426 --> 00:42:11,962 IF YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN THAT FROM 1177 00:42:12,029 --> 00:42:13,530 VIETNAM, IRAQ, AND AFGHANISTAN, 1178 00:42:13,597 --> 00:42:15,499 YOU HAVE NOT BEEN PAYING 1179 00:42:15,566 --> 00:42:15,766 ATTENTION. 1180 00:42:15,833 --> 00:42:17,768 AS MUCH AS WE CAN BE BEHIND 1181 00:42:17,835 --> 00:42:20,537 UKRAINE BUT TAIWAN? 1182 00:42:20,604 --> 00:42:22,740 WE SEEM TO BE TAKING THESE BABY 1183 00:42:22,806 --> 00:42:23,340 STEPS AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND 1184 00:42:23,407 --> 00:42:26,610 WHAT THAT IS. 1185 00:42:26,677 --> 00:42:27,678 YOU EITHER BELIEVE THAT PLACE IS 1186 00:42:27,745 --> 00:42:30,748 A COUNTRY WHICH WE DO -- IT'S 1187 00:42:30,814 --> 00:42:32,182 KIND OF LIKE WHEN TRUMP MOVED TO 1188 00:42:32,249 --> 00:42:33,918 THE EMBASSY TO JERUSALEM WHICH I 1189 00:42:33,984 --> 00:42:34,652 THOUGHT WAS THE ONLY GOOD THING 1190 00:42:34,718 --> 00:42:36,253 HE EVER DID TO FEAR GALVAN IF 1191 00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:37,721 YOU BELIEVE ISRAEL IS A COUNTRY, 1192 00:42:37,788 --> 00:42:39,890 THEN THEY GET TO HAVE -- WHICH 1193 00:42:39,957 --> 00:42:41,558 IT IS -- THEN THEY GET TO HAVE 1194 00:42:41,625 --> 00:42:42,893 THEIR EMBASSY WHERE IT IS AND IF 1195 00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:45,162 YOU BELIEVE TAIWAN IS A COUNTRY, 1196 00:42:45,229 --> 00:42:47,598 THAN ANYBODY CAN VISIT FROM 1197 00:42:47,665 --> 00:42:47,865 ANYWHERE. 1198 00:42:47,932 --> 00:42:50,267 ESPECIALLY OUR POLITICIANS. 1199 00:42:50,334 --> 00:42:55,272 [APPLAUSE] 1200 00:42:55,339 --> 00:42:57,942 >> MATT IS THE EXPERT HERE. 1201 00:42:58,008 --> 00:43:00,744 >> Bill: SO YOU'RE GOING TO 1202 00:43:00,811 --> 00:43:01,412 TALK. 1203 00:43:01,478 --> 00:43:02,713 >> I'M GOING TO BE BRIEF HERE 1204 00:43:02,780 --> 00:43:06,116 AND JUST SAY THIS. 1205 00:43:06,183 --> 00:43:07,584 IT'S A LOW BIT APPLES AND 1206 00:43:07,651 --> 00:43:09,219 ORANGES BECAUSE RUSSIA DID 1207 00:43:09,286 --> 00:43:09,586 INVADE UKRAINE. 1208 00:43:09,653 --> 00:43:13,757 THEY ARE COMMITTING ATROCITIES, 1209 00:43:13,824 --> 00:43:15,859 THEY ARE DOING WAR CRIMES THERE. 1210 00:43:15,926 --> 00:43:17,928 CHINA IS SABER RATTLING BUT THEY 1211 00:43:17,995 --> 00:43:18,529 HAVEN'T REACHED THAT PLACE. 1212 00:43:18,595 --> 00:43:20,397 I THINK IT'S A LITTLE BIT OF A 1213 00:43:20,464 --> 00:43:21,065 DIFFERENT SITUATION. 1214 00:43:21,131 --> 00:43:21,665 >> Bill: YOU'RE RIGHT, THAT'S 1215 00:43:21,732 --> 00:43:24,635 A GOOD POINT. 1216 00:43:24,702 --> 00:43:29,039 THAT IS. 1217 00:43:29,106 --> 00:43:30,374 >> I HAVE KIDS SO MY ENTHUSIASM 1218 00:43:30,441 --> 00:43:33,143 FOR STARTING SHIT WITH 1219 00:43:33,210 --> 00:43:36,780 SUPERPOWERS IS KIND OF MUTED. 1220 00:43:36,847 --> 00:43:38,248 I WILL GIVE NANCY PELOSI CREDIT, 1221 00:43:38,315 --> 00:43:39,984 SHE HAS BEEN VERY CONSISTENT, 1222 00:43:40,050 --> 00:43:40,718 ONE OF THE FEW PEOPLE IN HER 1223 00:43:40,784 --> 00:43:46,323 PARTY WHO HAS BEEN AGAINST MOST 1224 00:43:46,390 --> 00:43:48,392 FAVORED NATION TRADING STATUS 1225 00:43:48,459 --> 00:43:51,996 FOR CHINA GOING ALL THE WAY BACK 1226 00:43:52,062 --> 00:43:52,963 TO THE 90s. 1227 00:43:53,030 --> 00:43:58,168 YOUR RELUCTANCE TO MESS TO MIX 1228 00:43:58,235 --> 00:44:01,572 IT UP WITH CHINA. 1229 00:44:01,638 --> 00:44:02,272 POLITICIANS ARE WARY SPEAKING 1230 00:44:02,339 --> 00:44:03,540 OUT OF ALL SORTS OF THINGS 1231 00:44:03,607 --> 00:44:05,175 INVOLVING THAT COUNTRY BECAUSE 1232 00:44:05,242 --> 00:44:06,076 THEY ARE GETTING MONEY FROM 1233 00:44:06,143 --> 00:44:07,611 COMPANIES THAT ARE PROFITING 1234 00:44:07,678 --> 00:44:10,781 OVER THERE. 1235 00:44:10,848 --> 00:44:11,849 IN THIS ONE SENSE I THINK IT'S 1236 00:44:11,915 --> 00:44:15,886 IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER THAT THEY 1237 00:44:15,953 --> 00:44:17,321 ARE A HUMAN RIGHTS VIOLATOR AND 1238 00:44:17,388 --> 00:44:21,925 IT'S WORTH TAKING A STANCE. 1239 00:44:21,992 --> 00:44:24,428 >> Bill: WHO ISN'T? 1240 00:44:24,495 --> 00:44:26,330 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1241 00:44:26,397 --> 00:44:28,265 I WANT TO SAY QUICKLY AND WE 1242 00:44:28,332 --> 00:44:29,833 JUST HAD THE SELECTION A LOT OF 1243 00:44:29,900 --> 00:44:31,001 PEOPLE ON THE REPUBLICAN SIDE 1244 00:44:31,068 --> 00:44:33,037 WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN THE CONCEPT 1245 00:44:33,103 --> 00:44:36,206 OF FREE AND FAIR ELECTIONS WON. 1246 00:44:36,273 --> 00:44:38,375 THE WHOLE SLATE IN ARIZONA WON 1247 00:44:38,442 --> 00:44:40,010 AND THREE OTHER SWING STATES, 1248 00:44:40,077 --> 00:44:41,345 PEOPLE WHO DO NOT BELIEVE IN 1249 00:44:41,412 --> 00:44:42,746 ELECTIONS, WHO ONLY BELIEVE 1250 00:44:42,813 --> 00:44:46,583 ELECTIONS COUNT ONLY WHEN WE WI 1251 00:44:46,650 --> 00:44:46,750 WIN. 1252 00:44:46,817 --> 00:44:49,053 INTERESTING IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE 1253 00:44:49,119 --> 00:44:49,820 FOLLOWING THIS. 1254 00:44:49,887 --> 00:44:51,688 THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY LED BY 1255 00:44:51,755 --> 00:44:52,356 NANCY PELOSI IS SUPPORTING THESE 1256 00:44:52,423 --> 00:44:55,959 PEOPLE IN THE PRIMARIES. 1257 00:44:56,026 --> 00:44:56,560 THEIR THEORY IS LET'S SUPPORT 1258 00:44:56,627 --> 00:44:59,596 THE RADICALS, THE TRUMPER'S AND 1259 00:44:59,663 --> 00:45:01,899 THERE ARE TWO WINGS TO THE 1260 00:45:01,965 --> 00:45:02,800 REPUBLICAN PARTY. 1261 00:45:02,866 --> 00:45:03,434 THERE ARE REPUBLICANS LIKE LIZ 1262 00:45:03,500 --> 00:45:06,937 CHENEY AND MITT ROMNEY AND EVEN 1263 00:45:07,004 --> 00:45:07,938 MIKE PENCE WHO BELIEVE IN 1264 00:45:08,005 --> 00:45:11,175 ELECTIONS AND THEN THERE ARE 1265 00:45:11,241 --> 00:45:12,976 TRUMPER'S AND THE DEMOCRATS IN A 1266 00:45:13,043 --> 00:45:15,512 PRIMARY OR SUPPORTING THE 1267 00:45:15,579 --> 00:45:16,914 TRUMPER INKING TABLE WIN AND THE 1268 00:45:16,980 --> 00:45:18,115 GENERAL ELECTION WILL BE SO 1269 00:45:18,182 --> 00:45:19,550 RADICAL, WE WILL BEAT THEM. 1270 00:45:19,616 --> 00:45:21,251 THIS IS PLAYING WITH FIRE, IS IT 1271 00:45:21,318 --> 00:45:21,418 NOT? 1272 00:45:21,485 --> 00:45:26,290 [APPLAUSE] 1273 00:45:26,356 --> 00:45:29,126 >> JUST QUICKLY, WE'VE SEEN THIS 1274 00:45:29,193 --> 00:45:29,359 BEFORE. 1275 00:45:29,426 --> 00:45:31,128 THIS WAS PART OF THE 1276 00:45:31,195 --> 00:45:33,130 JOHN PODESTA EMAILS, REMEMBER 1277 00:45:33,197 --> 00:45:34,298 THE PIED PIPER CANDIDATES THING? 1278 00:45:34,364 --> 00:45:36,166 THERE WAS EXCHANGES BETWEEN 1279 00:45:36,233 --> 00:45:37,067 PEOPLE IN THE CLINTON CAMPAIGN 1280 00:45:37,134 --> 00:45:40,337 ABOUT TRYING TO ELEVATE THE MORE 1281 00:45:40,404 --> 00:45:41,972 RADICAL CANDIDATES IN THE 1282 00:45:42,039 --> 00:45:43,841 REPUBLICAN SLATE AND LOOK HOW 1283 00:45:43,907 --> 00:45:45,709 THAT TURNED OUT. 1284 00:45:45,776 --> 00:45:47,878 TRUMP WON. 1285 00:45:47,945 --> 00:45:49,880 >> IT'S A CRAZY TRAIN OF THOUGHT 1286 00:45:49,947 --> 00:45:50,314 TO. 1287 00:45:50,380 --> 00:45:51,982 >> Bill: GOT TO GO. 1288 00:45:52,049 --> 00:45:55,319 IT'S TIME FOR NEW RULES, 1289 00:45:55,385 --> 00:45:55,786 EVERYBODY, NEW RULES. 1290 00:45:55,853 --> 00:45:56,253 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1291 00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:58,989 ♪ ♪ 1292 00:45:59,056 --> 00:46:00,557 NEW RULE: SOMEONE MUST ASK 1293 00:46:00,624 --> 00:46:03,894 PEOPLE WHO BUY A "PLUFL," THE 1294 00:46:03,961 --> 00:46:05,329 DOG BED FOR HUMANS: HOW IS IT 1295 00:46:05,395 --> 00:46:09,766 BETTER THAN A REGULAR BED? 1296 00:46:09,833 --> 00:46:11,869 I NEVER WATCHED MY DOG CURL UP 1297 00:46:11,935 --> 00:46:13,170 IN ONE OF THESE AND THOUGHT, "I 1298 00:46:13,237 --> 00:46:14,438 WISH I HAD A MATTRESS SO SMALL 1299 00:46:14,505 --> 00:46:15,506 IT FORCES ME TO SHOVE MY NOSE 1300 00:46:15,572 --> 00:46:24,148 INTO MY ASSHOLE." 1301 00:46:24,214 --> 00:46:25,249 [LAUGHTER] 1302 00:46:25,315 --> 00:46:26,316 [APPLAUSE] 1303 00:46:26,383 --> 00:46:27,518 NEW RULE: STOP MAKING KIDS GO 1304 00:46:27,584 --> 00:46:28,652 BACK TO SCHOOL EARLIER AND 1305 00:46:28,719 --> 00:46:29,386 EARLIER EACH YEAR. 1306 00:46:29,453 --> 00:46:31,288 SOME SCHOOLS IN CALIFORNIA START 1307 00:46:31,355 --> 00:46:31,822 NEXT WEEK. 1308 00:46:31,889 --> 00:46:36,894 WHAT IS THIS, CHINA? 1309 00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:37,161 [LAUGHTER] 1310 00:46:37,227 --> 00:46:37,728 [APPLAUSE] 1311 00:46:37,794 --> 00:46:45,869 WELL, IN PARTS OF LA, YES. 1312 00:46:45,936 --> 00:46:46,136 [LAUGHTER] 1313 00:46:46,203 --> 00:46:46,870 [APPLAUSE] 1314 00:46:46,937 --> 00:46:47,471 BUT COME ON, GIVE KIDS THEIR 1315 00:46:47,538 --> 00:46:48,272 SUMMER BACK! 1316 00:46:48,338 --> 00:46:49,106 FOR STUDENTS, IT'S TOO NICE 1317 00:46:49,173 --> 00:46:50,207 OUTSIDE TO PAY ATTENTION. 1318 00:46:50,274 --> 00:46:51,241 AND FOR THE TEACHERS, IT'S WAY 1319 00:46:51,308 --> 00:46:59,783 TOO HOT TO DRESS UP IN DRAG. 1320 00:46:59,850 --> 00:47:02,819 [LAUGHTER] 1321 00:47:02,886 --> 00:47:03,287 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1322 00:47:03,353 --> 00:47:03,954 NEW RULE: NOW THAT APPLEBEE'S 1323 00:47:04,021 --> 00:47:04,955 HAS LAUNCHED SAUCEY GLOSS, A 1324 00:47:05,022 --> 00:47:05,889 LINE OF LIP GLOSS THAT TASTES 1325 00:47:05,956 --> 00:47:06,857 LIKE THEIR CHICKEN WINGS, THEY 1326 00:47:06,924 --> 00:47:07,724 HAVE TO DISCONTINUE IT 1327 00:47:07,791 --> 00:47:10,727 IMMEDIATELY. 1328 00:47:10,794 --> 00:47:12,296 GRANTED, FOR WOMEN IT'S A TASTY 1329 00:47:12,362 --> 00:47:14,031 TREAT -- BUT WHAT ABOUT THE POOR 1330 00:47:14,097 --> 00:47:15,866 GUY WHO HAS TO EXPLAIN TO HIS 1331 00:47:15,933 --> 00:47:16,934 WIFE WHY HIS DICK TASTES LIKE 1332 00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:26,410 HONEY BARBECUE? 1333 00:47:26,476 --> 00:47:28,779 [LAUGHTER] 1334 00:47:28,845 --> 00:47:29,246 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1335 00:47:29,313 --> 00:47:29,880 NEW RULE: SOMEONE MUST TELL ME 1336 00:47:29,947 --> 00:47:30,814 WHAT'S SO ROMANTIC ABOUT A 1337 00:47:30,881 --> 00:47:32,049 COUPLES MASSAGE. 1338 00:47:32,115 --> 00:47:32,916 IT DOESN'T SAY, "LET'S CONNECT 1339 00:47:32,983 --> 00:47:33,984 ON A DEEPER LEVEL." 1340 00:47:34,051 --> 00:47:34,985 IT SAYS, "I DON'T WANT TO TOUCH 1341 00:47:35,052 --> 00:47:38,589 YOU. 1342 00:47:38,655 --> 00:47:40,123 YOU DON'T WANT TO TOUCH ME. 1343 00:47:40,190 --> 00:47:41,091 LET'S HIRE OTHER PEOPLE TO DO 1344 00:47:41,158 --> 00:47:52,302 IT." 1345 00:47:52,369 --> 00:47:52,936 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1346 00:47:53,003 --> 00:47:53,570 CALL ME A TRADITIONALIST, BUT I 1347 00:47:53,637 --> 00:47:54,404 THINK SEX SHOULD BE SOMETHING 1348 00:47:54,471 --> 00:47:55,072 BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE WHO LOVE EACH 1349 00:47:55,138 --> 00:48:05,349 OTHER AND DESHAUN WATSON. 1350 00:48:05,415 --> 00:48:08,785 [LAUGHTER] 1351 00:48:08,852 --> 00:48:09,253 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1352 00:48:09,319 --> 00:48:09,853 NEW RULE: YOU CAN SPEND YOUR 1353 00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:10,654 ENTIRE LIFE REPEATING THE SAME 1354 00:48:10,721 --> 00:48:11,321 STUPID INSULT THE WAY TRUMP DOES 1355 00:48:11,388 --> 00:48:16,493 WITH, "LIKE A DOG." 1356 00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:18,695 >> LIKE A DOG TO. 1357 00:48:18,762 --> 00:48:19,896 LIKE A DOG. 1358 00:48:19,963 --> 00:48:20,230 LIKE A DOG. 1359 00:48:20,297 --> 00:48:24,968 LIKE A DOG. 1360 00:48:25,035 --> 00:48:26,603 >> Bill: BUT THEN YOU CAN'T 1361 00:48:26,670 --> 00:48:30,774 BURY YOUR EX-WIFE IN THE 1362 00:48:30,841 --> 00:48:33,076 BACKYARD. 1363 00:48:33,143 --> 00:48:34,978 [LAUGHTER] 1364 00:48:35,045 --> 00:48:35,445 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1365 00:48:35,512 --> 00:48:36,046 TRUMP BURIED IVANA AT HIS GOLF 1366 00:48:36,113 --> 00:48:36,680 CLUB IN IN NEW JERSEY. 1367 00:48:36,747 --> 00:48:37,948 WHICH IS WRONG FOR SO MANY 1368 00:48:38,015 --> 00:48:39,249 REASONS. 1369 00:48:39,316 --> 00:48:41,318 IT'S CHEAP, IT'S TACKY, AND WHEN 1370 00:48:41,385 --> 00:48:42,452 ERIC SEES IT HE'LL KNOW SHE 1371 00:48:42,519 --> 00:48:49,559 DIDN'T GO LIVE ON A FARM. 1372 00:48:49,626 --> 00:48:52,963 [LAUGHTER] 1373 00:48:53,030 --> 00:48:54,631 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1374 00:48:54,698 --> 00:48:55,499 AND FINALLY, NEW RULE. 1375 00:48:55,565 --> 00:48:56,566 EVERYBODY SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO 1376 00:48:56,633 --> 00:48:57,200 LET THEMSELVES GO A COUPLE OF 1377 00:48:57,267 --> 00:48:58,769 TIMES A YEAR. 1378 00:48:58,835 --> 00:49:00,737 LIKE NOW: THE DOG DAYS OF 1379 00:49:00,804 --> 00:49:02,639 SUMMER. 1380 00:49:02,706 --> 00:49:03,640 SCHOOL'S OUT, RULES OUT, IT'S 1381 00:49:03,707 --> 00:49:05,442 HOT, VACATION TIME -- NO ONE 1382 00:49:05,509 --> 00:49:11,915 SHOULD HAVE TO DIET ON VACATION. 1383 00:49:11,982 --> 00:49:14,851 AND THE HOLIDAYS, THAT'S THE 1384 00:49:14,918 --> 00:49:15,852 OTHER I LET MYSELF GO TIME OF 1385 00:49:15,919 --> 00:49:17,521 YEAR AND WHO CAN BLAME US? 1386 00:49:17,587 --> 00:49:18,488 IT'S THE END OF THE YEAR, IT'S 1387 00:49:18,555 --> 00:49:19,356 STRUCTURED AROUND FEAST DAYS -- 1388 00:49:19,423 --> 00:49:20,357 NO ONE SHOULD FEEL BAD ABOUT 1389 00:49:20,424 --> 00:49:21,158 OPENING UP THE PANTS AFTER 1390 00:49:21,224 --> 00:49:22,326 THANKSGIVING DINNER AND DOING 1391 00:49:22,392 --> 00:49:23,360 THAT THING WHERE YOU UNDO THE 1392 00:49:23,427 --> 00:49:24,594 TOP BUTTON AND TRY TO HOLD IT 1393 00:49:24,661 --> 00:49:29,933 TOGETHER WITH JUST THE BELT. 1394 00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:30,200 [LAUGHTER] 1395 00:49:30,267 --> 00:49:31,968 THAT'S ALL FINE. 1396 00:49:32,035 --> 00:49:33,437 BUT NOT ALL YEAR ROUND. 1397 00:49:33,503 --> 00:49:35,339 AND THAT'S KIND OF WHAT'S 1398 00:49:35,405 --> 00:49:36,473 HAPPENED TO AMERICA -- LETTING 1399 00:49:36,540 --> 00:49:38,442 OURSELVES GO NOW AS AN ALL YEAR 1400 00:49:38,508 --> 00:49:39,776 ROUND THING; DOING THE 1401 00:49:39,843 --> 00:49:40,610 THANKSGIVING PANTS THING EVERY 1402 00:49:40,677 --> 00:49:49,820 DAY. 1403 00:49:49,886 --> 00:49:50,287 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1404 00:49:50,354 --> 00:49:52,055 THEY ACTUALLY SELL A BUSINESS 1405 00:49:52,122 --> 00:49:57,661 SUIT NOW WITH DRAWSTRING PANTS: 1406 00:49:57,728 --> 00:49:59,363 I SAW THIS IN THE MALL AND I 1407 00:49:59,429 --> 00:50:00,797 SAID TO THE SALESMAN, "THIS IS 1408 00:50:00,864 --> 00:50:02,132 PATHETIC, IT SHOWS HOW MUCH 1409 00:50:02,199 --> 00:50:04,201 WE'VE GIVEN UP," AND HE SAID, 1410 00:50:04,267 --> 00:50:10,874 "NO, PEOPLE LOVE IT." 1411 00:50:10,941 --> 00:50:11,842 OF COURSE THEY LOVE IT -- YOU 1412 00:50:11,908 --> 00:50:13,877 CAN HAVE A MONGOOSE FOR LUNCH 1413 00:50:13,944 --> 00:50:14,778 AND THEN GIVE THAT BIG 1414 00:50:14,845 --> 00:50:17,514 PRESENTATION. 1415 00:50:17,581 --> 00:50:18,482 THERE'S A DISTURBING TREND GOING 1416 00:50:18,548 --> 00:50:21,017 ON IN AMERICA THESE DAYS: 1417 00:50:21,084 --> 00:50:24,020 REWRITING SCIENCE TO FIT 1418 00:50:24,087 --> 00:50:25,188 IDEOLOGY, OR JUST TO FIT WHAT 1419 00:50:25,255 --> 00:50:27,791 YOU WANT REALITY TO BE. 1420 00:50:27,858 --> 00:50:29,493 WE'VE GONE FROM FAT ACCEPTANCE 1421 00:50:29,559 --> 00:50:36,600 TO FAT CELEBRATION. 1422 00:50:36,666 --> 00:50:38,001 THAT IS NEW. 1423 00:50:38,068 --> 00:50:38,969 THAT'S NEW: TO VIEW LETTING 1424 00:50:39,035 --> 00:50:41,138 YOURSELF GO AS A POINT OF PRIDE. 1425 00:50:41,204 --> 00:50:42,305 WE USED TO AT LEAST TRY AND BE 1426 00:50:42,372 --> 00:50:44,107 FIT AND HEALTHY, AND SOCIETY 1427 00:50:44,174 --> 00:50:46,843 PRAISED THOSE WHO SUCCEEDED. 1428 00:50:46,910 --> 00:50:49,880 NOW, THE TERM "BODY POSITIVITY" 1429 00:50:49,946 --> 00:50:52,382 IS USED TO MEAN, "I'M PERFECT 1430 00:50:52,449 --> 00:50:57,120 THE WAY I AM BECAUSE I'M ME." 1431 00:50:57,187 --> 00:50:58,855 IT'S ORWELLIAN -- HOW OFTEN 1432 00:50:58,922 --> 00:50:59,656 POSITIVITY IS USED TO DESCRIBE 1433 00:50:59,723 --> 00:51:02,426 WHAT'S NOT HEALTHY. 1434 00:51:02,492 --> 00:51:04,161 OF COURSE, YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH 1435 00:51:04,227 --> 00:51:05,228 ANYTHING BAD FOR YOU FOR A WHILE 1436 00:51:05,295 --> 00:51:06,229 WHEN YOU'RE YOUNG, BUT LET ME 1437 00:51:06,296 --> 00:51:07,631 ASK YOU THIS: HAVE YOU EVER SEEN 1438 00:51:07,697 --> 00:51:15,939 A FAT 90-YEAR-OLD? 1439 00:51:16,006 --> 00:51:16,506 [LAUGHTER] 1440 00:51:16,573 --> 00:51:20,510 SCARY, ISN'T IT? 1441 00:51:20,577 --> 00:51:24,080 "HEALTHY AT ANY WEIGHT" IS AN 1442 00:51:24,147 --> 00:51:26,817 UNCHALLENGED LIE PEOPLE TELL 1443 00:51:26,883 --> 00:51:27,851 THEMSELVES SO THEY CAN GO ON 1444 00:51:27,918 --> 00:51:30,387 EATING WHATEVER THEY WANT. 1445 00:51:30,454 --> 00:51:31,888 FINE, I'VE DONE SELF-DESTRUCTIVE 1446 00:51:31,955 --> 00:51:33,190 THINGS TOO -- BUT NO ONE 1447 00:51:33,256 --> 00:51:35,192 PRETENDED THERE WAS "POSITIVITY" 1448 00:51:35,258 --> 00:51:38,428 IN SMOKING. 1449 00:51:38,495 --> 00:51:40,096 FAT ACTIVIST TED KYLE, FOUNDER 1450 00:51:40,163 --> 00:51:41,131 OF CONSCIENHEALTH SAYS "THE 1451 00:51:41,198 --> 00:51:42,466 MEDIA AND PUBLIC NEEDS TO STOP 1452 00:51:42,532 --> 00:51:45,969 CATASTROPHIZING OBESITY." 1453 00:51:46,036 --> 00:51:48,238 OKAY, A] THEY'RE NOT 1454 00:51:48,305 --> 00:51:53,977 CATASTROPHIZING IT, AND B] THEY 1455 00:51:54,044 --> 00:51:54,778 SHOULD BE -- 1456 00:51:54,845 --> 00:51:55,779 IT'S A FULL-BLOWN 1457 00:51:55,846 --> 00:52:01,151 CATASTROPHE. 1458 00:52:01,218 --> 00:52:01,618 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1459 00:52:01,685 --> 00:52:02,652 "POOR DIET IS THE LEADING CAUSE 1460 00:52:02,719 --> 00:52:03,587 OF MORTALITY IN THE UNITED 1461 00:52:03,653 --> 00:52:10,026 STATES." 1462 00:52:10,093 --> 00:52:10,427 "NEW YORK TIMES." 1463 00:52:10,494 --> 00:52:11,027 OF COURSE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT 1464 00:52:11,094 --> 00:52:11,795 HEART DISEASE, CANCER, DIABETES, 1465 00:52:11,862 --> 00:52:12,963 BUT ALSO AS COVID TAUGHT US, 1466 00:52:13,029 --> 00:52:13,597 OBESITY IS HORRIBLE FOR THE 1467 00:52:13,663 --> 00:52:14,598 IMMUNE SYSTEM. 1468 00:52:14,664 --> 00:52:16,199 WHICH IS WHY THOSE NUMBERS WERE 1469 00:52:16,266 --> 00:52:17,534 OFF THE CHARTS DURING THE 1470 00:52:17,601 --> 00:52:19,636 PANDEMIC. 1471 00:52:19,703 --> 00:52:21,638 THAT'S A CATASTROPHE. 1472 00:52:21,705 --> 00:52:23,807 IT'S LITERALLY A NATIONAL 1473 00:52:23,874 --> 00:52:25,976 SECURITY ISSUE NOW -MILITARY 1474 00:52:26,042 --> 00:52:28,278 RECRUITMENT IS DOWN BY THE MOST 1475 00:52:28,345 --> 00:52:29,546 SINCE THE END OF THE DRAFT, 1476 00:52:29,613 --> 00:52:30,680 MAINLY BECAUSE 17 TO 1477 00:52:30,747 --> 00:52:31,882 24-YEAR-OLDS ARE TOO FAT TO 1478 00:52:31,948 --> 00:52:37,454 FIGHT. 1479 00:52:37,521 --> 00:52:38,555 AT SOME POINT, ACCEPTANCE 1480 00:52:38,622 --> 00:52:41,491 BECOMES ENABLING -- AND IF 1481 00:52:41,558 --> 00:52:43,994 YOU'RE IN ANY WAY PARTICIPATING 1482 00:52:44,060 --> 00:52:46,129 IN THIS JOYFUL CELEBRATION OF 1483 00:52:46,196 --> 00:52:47,330 GLUTTONY THAT GOES ON NOW, YOU 1484 00:52:47,397 --> 00:52:48,098 HAVE BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS, FULL 1485 00:52:48,164 --> 00:52:55,839 STOP. 1486 00:52:55,906 --> 00:52:59,042 [APPLAUSE] 1487 00:52:59,109 --> 00:53:00,110 YOU CAN MAKE BELIEVE YOU'RE 1488 00:53:00,176 --> 00:53:01,311 FIGHTING SOME GREAT SOCIAL 1489 00:53:01,378 --> 00:53:03,280 JUSTICE BATTLE FOR A BESIEGED 1490 00:53:03,346 --> 00:53:05,115 MINORITY BUT WHAT YOU'RE REALLY 1491 00:53:05,181 --> 00:53:07,284 DOING IS ENABLING ADDICTS, WHICH 1492 00:53:07,350 --> 00:53:10,153 I THOUGHT WE DECIDED WAS BAD. 1493 00:53:10,220 --> 00:53:11,521 IT'S NOT JUST THE DRAWSTRING 1494 00:53:11,588 --> 00:53:14,157 BUSINESS SUITS -- COMPANIES LIKE 1495 00:53:14,224 --> 00:53:15,458 NIKE SPORTS ILLUSTRATED. 1496 00:53:15,525 --> 00:53:17,561 AND VICTORIA'S SECRET -- 1497 00:53:17,627 --> 00:53:21,164 COMPANIES THAT ARE SPECIFICALLY 1498 00:53:21,231 --> 00:53:22,098 ABOUT FITNESS -- NEVERTHELESS 1499 00:53:22,165 --> 00:53:22,933 PROMOTE PEOPLE WHO ARE PLAINLY 1500 00:53:22,999 --> 00:53:27,203 NOT INTO FITNESS. 1501 00:53:27,270 --> 00:53:28,972 PEOPLE LIKE ADELE FACE SHAME 1502 00:53:29,039 --> 00:53:31,508 CAMPAIGNS FOR LOSING WEIGHT. 1503 00:53:31,575 --> 00:53:33,577 THIS IS MADNESS. 1504 00:53:33,643 --> 00:53:34,844 THERE'S A REASON THE FIRST THING 1505 00:53:34,911 --> 00:53:35,912 YOUR DOCTOR DOES IS MAKE YOU 1506 00:53:35,979 --> 00:53:40,617 STEP ON A SCALE. 1507 00:53:40,684 --> 00:53:43,119 [APPLAUSE] 1508 00:53:43,186 --> 00:53:45,722 WELL, IT USED TO BE. 1509 00:53:45,789 --> 00:53:46,823 THERE'S A CARD NOW THAT YOU CAN 1510 00:53:46,890 --> 00:53:47,924 GIVE YOUR DOCTOR AND IT SAYS 1511 00:53:47,991 --> 00:53:49,059 "PLEASE DON'T WEIGH ME UNLESS 1512 00:53:49,125 --> 00:53:49,993 IT'S REALLY MEDICALLY 1513 00:53:50,060 --> 00:53:52,162 NECESSARY." 1514 00:53:52,228 --> 00:53:55,131 IT'S ALWAYS NECESSARY! 1515 00:53:55,198 --> 00:53:56,666 IT'S LIKE ASKING YOUR DENTIST 1516 00:53:56,733 --> 00:54:12,248 NOT TO LOOK AT YOUR TEETH. 1517 00:54:12,315 --> 00:54:13,283 THERE'S A POPULAR T SHIRT THAT 1518 00:54:13,350 --> 00:54:14,184 SAYS "I DON'T OWE NO MAN A FLAT 1519 00:54:14,250 --> 00:54:15,218 STOMACH." 1520 00:54:15,285 --> 00:54:16,386 OKAY, NO ONE SAID YOU DID. 1521 00:54:16,453 --> 00:54:17,654 YOU DO YOU. 1522 00:54:17,721 --> 00:54:18,655 BUT YOU'RE NOT A FREEDOM FIGHTER 1523 00:54:18,722 --> 00:54:19,823 BECAUSE YOU WANT TO KEEP EATING 1524 00:54:19,889 --> 00:54:30,233 DONUTS. 1525 00:54:30,300 --> 00:54:31,134 [LAUGHTER] 1526 00:54:31,201 --> 00:54:31,601 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1527 00:54:31,668 --> 00:54:32,402 USA TODAY ACTUALLY WROTE THE 1528 00:54:32,469 --> 00:54:33,336 SENTENCE.'SCIENCE HASN'T YET 1529 00:54:33,403 --> 00:54:40,810 FIGURED OUT HOW TO SOLVE 1530 00:54:40,877 --> 00:54:42,078 OBESITY," AND TED KYLE CONCURS, 1531 00:54:42,145 --> 00:54:43,446 SAYING, "WE DON'T KNOW HOW TO 1532 00:54:43,513 --> 00:54:44,648 BLUNT THE RISE IN OBESITY 1533 00:54:44,714 --> 00:54:46,082 BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW PRECISELY 1534 00:54:46,149 --> 00:54:47,450 WHAT THE FACTORS ARE THAT ARE 1535 00:54:47,517 --> 00:54:51,321 CAUSING IT." 1536 00:54:51,388 --> 00:54:52,455 YES, WHAT COULD IT BE -- WHAT, 1537 00:54:52,522 --> 00:54:53,823 WHAT?! 1538 00:54:53,890 --> 00:54:57,827 DAMNIT, THIS IS A HARD ONE. 1539 00:54:57,894 --> 00:54:59,095 PEOPLE SAY TO ME, "OH, COME ON, 1540 00:54:59,162 --> 00:55:00,130 BILL, PEOPLE STRUGGLE WITH 1541 00:55:00,196 --> 00:55:01,464 THIS." 1542 00:55:01,531 --> 00:55:02,932 OF COURSE THEY DO! 1543 00:55:02,999 --> 00:55:04,100 EVERYTHING'S A STRUGGLE, LIFE'S 1544 00:55:04,167 --> 00:55:05,969 A STRUGGLE. 1545 00:55:06,036 --> 00:55:07,671 BUT SOMEHOW 50 YEARS AGO THIS 1546 00:55:07,737 --> 00:55:08,538 COUNTRY LOOKED ENTIRELY 1547 00:55:08,605 --> 00:55:10,040 DIFFERENT. 1548 00:55:10,106 --> 00:55:10,974 YOU DON'T THINK IT WAS A 1549 00:55:11,041 --> 00:55:12,509 STRUGGLE FOR THEM? 1550 00:55:12,575 --> 00:55:13,476 YOU THINK CAKE WASN'T DELICIOUS 1551 00:55:13,543 --> 00:55:23,153 IN 1969? 1552 00:55:23,219 --> 00:55:24,254 [LAUGHTER] 1553 00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:24,721 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1554 00:55:24,788 --> 00:55:25,321 AND THAT'S THE SADDEST PART -- 1555 00:55:25,388 --> 00:55:28,425 WE CAN DO THIS. 1556 00:55:28,491 --> 00:55:29,626 I THINK. 1557 00:55:29,693 --> 00:55:30,493 BUT BY LYING ABOUT IT AND MAKING 1558 00:55:30,560 --> 00:55:31,594 EXCUSES, PSYCHOLOGICALLY IT'S 1559 00:55:31,661 --> 00:55:33,196 TELLING OURSELVES THAT LETTING 1560 00:55:33,263 --> 00:55:35,065 OURSELVES GO IS THE BEST WE CAN 1561 00:55:35,131 --> 00:55:36,132 DO -- AND I GOTTA BELIEVE THAT 1562 00:55:36,199 --> 00:55:37,634 AS AMERICANS, WE CAN STILL DO 1563 00:55:37,701 --> 00:55:39,836 BETTER THAN THAT. 1564 00:55:39,903 --> 00:55:41,438 OKAY, THAT'S OUR SHOW. 1565 00:55:41,504 --> 00:55:42,539 I'LL BE AT THE KLEINHANS MUSIC 1566 00:55:42,605 --> 00:55:44,207 HALL IN BUFFALO, NY, OCTOBER 1567 00:55:44,274 --> 00:55:47,243 9TH, AT THE FOXWOODS CASINO IN 1568 00:55:47,310 --> 00:55:49,212 MASHANTUCKET, CT, NOVEMBER 13TH, 1569 00:55:49,279 --> 00:55:50,380 AND YOU CAN WATCH MY PODCAST 1570 00:55:50,447 --> 00:55:52,048 CLUB RANDOM ON YOUTUBE, OR 1571 00:55:52,115 --> 00:55:52,816 LISTEN ANYWHERE YOU GET YOUR 1572 00:55:52,882 --> 00:55:56,953 PODCASTS. 1573 00:55:57,020 --> 00:55:57,654 THANK YOU, FOLKS. 1574 00:55:57,721 --> 00:55:58,555 I WANT TO THANK MY GUESTS MATT 1575 00:55:58,621 --> 00:55:59,122 TAIBBI, LIS SMITH AND DAVID 1576 00:55:59,189 --> 00:56:02,225 DUCHOVNY. 1577 00:56:02,292 --> 00:56:05,328 NOW GO TO YOUTUBE AND JOIN US ON 1578 00:56:05,395 --> 00:56:16,406 OVERTIME. 1579 00:56:16,473 --> 00:56:16,873 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1580 00:56:16,940 --> 00:56:28,518 ♪ ♪ 1581 00:56:28,585 --> 00:56:29,586 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]