♪ ♪
>> START THE CLOCK.
♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Bill: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN -- I APPRECIATE THAT.
GOOD TO SEE YOU ALL.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
APPRECIATE IT.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
I KNOW -- IN A WEATHER
CHALLENGED STATE WE FEEL PRETTY
GOOD BECAUSE WE ARE WATCHING
WITH OUR HEARTS OPEN TO OUR
FRIENDS IN FLORIDA, A TERRIBLE
THING THERE.
IT CAME IN AS A HURRICANE THEN
WENT OUT TO SEA AS A
TROPICAL STORM, CAME BACK AS A
HURRICANE.
THIS THING IS MORE CONFUSED THAN
DEMI LOVATO.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
OUR HEARTS GO OUT.
IT'S THE SAME STORY EVERY YEAR,
THE COVERAGE IS ALWAYS THE SAME.
PEOPLE ARE SHOCKED THEY LIVE IN
A HOUSE BUILT ON STICKS ON THE
BEACH.
[LAUGHTER]
IN THE MOST HURRICANE PRONE AREA
OF THE COUNTRY AND THE HOUSE
ISN'T THERE.
YOU'RE LIVING ON AN ISLAND UNDER
SEA LEVEL IN A PAPIER-MACHE
HOME.
[LAUGHTER]
AND THEY ARE LIKE WE ARE GOING
TO WRITE IT OUT.
[LAUGHTER]
RIDE IT OUT?
[AE]
WHO IS IN CHARGE IN THE BUILDING
CODES DOWN THERE, THE THREE
LITTLE PIGS?
[LAUGHTER]
I'LL SAY THIS ABOUT
CALIFORNIANS.
WHEN THE WILDFIRES COME, WE
DON'T RIDE IT OUT.
WE GRAB OUR PELOTON'S AND O
TROPHY WIVES AND WE GET THE FUCK
OUT OF THERE, OKAY?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
ANYWAY, COMBING NEWS THIS WEEK.
WE FOUND OUT WHY QUEEN ELIZATH
DIED.
THEY PUT THIS OUT -- OLD AGE.
REALLY?
WOW.
I THOUGHT SHE MIGHT HAVE FELL
OUT A WINDOW IN MOSCOW.
[LAUGHTER]
THAT SITUATION IS NOT GETTING
ANY BETTER WITH RUSSIA.
RUSSIA ANNEXED 15% OF UKRAINE
THIS WEEK, DID YOU SEE THAT?
THIS IS THE LARGEST ANNEXATION
RUSSIA HAS DONE SINCE -- I GOT
TO GO BACK TO THE REPUBLICAN
PARTY IN 2016.
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
REPUBLICANS, MAGA TWO DIFFERENT
THINGS NOW.
MAGA PEOPLE -- WE HAVE TO MAKE
THAT DISTINCTION BECAUSE DID YOU
SEE GINNI THOMAS IS IN THE NEWS
THIS WEEK?
THE WIFE OF SUPREME COURT
JUSTICE CLARENCE THOMAS.
SHE APPEARED BEFORE THE
JANUARY 6TH COMMITTEE AND TOLD
THEM SHE STILL THINKS TRUMP WON
IN 2020, THE ELECTION WAS
STOLEN.
WOW.
THERE ARE CONSPIRACY THEORISTS
AND THEN THERE IS THIS LADY TWO
[LAUGHTER]
SHE ALSO SAID FOR THE LAST 35
YEARS THERE HAS BEEN A BLACK MAN
LURKING AROUND HER HOME.
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
COME ON.
[LAUGHTER]
THE REPUBLICANS OF COURSE LOST
THEIR SHIT THIS WEEK BECAUSE
BIDEN MADE A GAFFE, THE KIND
HE'S MADE FOR 50 YEARS THAT
MATTERS NOT ABOUT ANYTHING BUT
THERE'S A CONGRESSWOMAN NAMED
JACKIE WHO UNFORTUNATELY DIED A
COUPLE MONTHS AGO, 535 MEMBERS
OF CONGRESS, OKAY?
BIDEN IS SPEAKING A HE CALLS
FOR JACKIE, WHERE ARE YOU?
I'M NOT SAYING IT WAS A GREAT
MOMENT.
[LAUGHTER]
535 MEMBERS, HE FORGOT SHE WAS
DEAD TO.
THE LAST GUY FORGOT WE WERE A
DEMOCRACY!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
CAN WE HAVE A LITTLE PER
PERSPECTIVE?
[APPLAUSE]
TRUMP WAS ONCE GIVING A SPEECH
ABOUT THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION,
CAME UP IN THIS SPEECH AND HE
SAID OUR ARMY MANNED THE AIR --
[LAUGHTER]
RAMMED THE RAMPARTS AND TOOK
OVER THE AIRPORTS IN 1776.
[LAUGHTER]
AND HE WAS READING IT.
[LAUGHTER]
MY SWEAR TO GOD.
[APPLAUSE]
ONE DAY THE PHONE IS GOING TO
RING AND MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE
IS GOING TO ANSWER THE GUN.
AND THEN WE CAN TALK ABOUT WHOSE
BRAIN WORKS ALL THE TIME AND
WHOSE DOESN'T.
MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE BACK ON
THE MARKET I DON'T KNOW IF YOU
HEARD.
SHE'S GETTING DIVORCED -- VERY
SAD TO.
SHE CAUGHT HIM WITH ANOTHER
IMBECILE.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
HERE'S THE STORY OF THE WEEK
THAT REALLY BLEW MY MIND THE
MOST.
APPLE, THE CORPORATION, NOT THE
FRUIT --
[LAUGHTER]
FIRED ONE OF THEIR
VICE PRESIDENT'S FOR TELLING A
JOKE, SOMEBODY FROM TIKTOK WAS
GOING AROUND ASKING PEOPLE WHAT
DO YOU DO FOR LIVING AND THIS
GUY, IT'S TIKTOK HE WAS TRYING
TO BE FUNNY, I HAVE RICH CARS, I
PLAY GOLF, AND I FONDLE BIG
WOMEN.
HIM HE SHOULD'VE SAID I SELL
PEOPLE SHIT THEY DON'T NEED TO
PICK OUT IT WAS A LINE FROM
ARTHUR, THE MOVIE WHICH WAS THE
BIGGEST COMEDY OF 1981.
THIS GUY JUST SAID THAT LINE,
WHERE WAS HE MAKING PEOPLE FEEL
UNSAFE, BLOCKBUSTER?
[LAUGHTER]
40 YEARS AGO THIS LINE,
EVERYBODY IN THIS COUNTRY
THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY, TODAY YOU
SAY IT AND CANDYMAN APPEARS.
[LAUGHTER]
I JUST WANT TO SAY, ELON MUSK IF
THERE'S ROOM ON THE NEXT ROCKET,
I'M READY TO GO.
OKAY, WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW,
VAN JONES AND CAITLIN FLANAGAN
ARE HERE, BUT FIRST. SHE'S A
JOURNALIST, ACTIVIST, AND AUTHOR
OF THE BOOK "THE WIND IN MY
HAIR: MY FIGHT FOR FREEDOM IN
MODERN IRAN": MOSSY ALI-NEJAD.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
YOU HAVE MY GREAT ADMIRATION,
YOU'RE A GREAT PERSON.
I WANT TO GET ALL THE THINGS WE
WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT TODAY,
BUT LET'S DO IT LIKE THEY DO ON
EPISODIC SHOWS AND TO START WITH
THE MOST DRAMATIC SCENE FIRST
AND THEN WE'LL GO FIVE YEARS
EARLIER.
A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO FOUR
IRANIAN AGENTS WERE CHARGED AND
ABSENTEE WITH TRYING TO KIDNAP
YOU.
>> CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?
>> Bill: TELL US WHY THEY WERE
TRYING TO KIDNAP YOU, WHAT WAS
GOING ON?
>> FIRST OF ALL, THEY ARE SCARED
OF WOMEN
I'M TALKING TO YOU THEY KILLED A
20-YEAR-OLD WOMAN, THEY ARE MORE
SCARED OF HER HAIR.
WHEN THEY CAME AFTER ME HERE MY
JOB WAS JUST GIVING VOICE TO
VOICELESS WOMEN INSIDE IRAN.
I LAUNCHED A CAMPAIGN AGAINST
COMPULSORY H H -- WHILE I WAS
PUBLISHING VIDEOS OF WOMEN
FIGHTING BACK THE MORALITY
POLICE AND BEING HARASSED,
FILMING THEM, THAT CREATED HUGE
ANGER BECAUSE THEY HATE WHEN
THEY SEE THAT WOMEN ARE FIGHTING
BACK, THE MORALITY POLICE.
THAT'S WHAT I TRY TO KIDNAP ME.
>> Bill: IT'S WHAT WE ARE
SEEING NOW, WHAT WE ARE SEEING
FOR TWO WEEKS AND IS NOT
STOPPING.
ALL THESE DEMONSTRATIONS, WOMEN
HAVE FINALLY HAD ENOUGH, THIS
YOUNG WOMAN WAS KILLED IN
CUSTODY, TAKEN BY THE MORALITY
POLICE.
THEY CLAIM SOME BULLSHIT ABOUT
PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS -- SHE
WAS A WOMAN WITH A PRE-EXISTING
CONDITION.
THERE'S ALL THESE RIOTS, A LOT
OF PEOPLE HAVE DIED.
MY QUESTION TO YOU IS WE HAVE
SEEN THIS BEFORE IN IRAN, THERE
WAS AN UPRISING IN 2009.
WE SAW THE ARAB SPRING IN 2011,
PERSIANS ARE NOT ARAB BUT WE ARE
TALKING ABOUT THE SAME RELIGION.
THAT'S BEHIND ALL THIS.
IS THIS TIME GOING TO BE
DIFFERENT?
>> OF COURSE, BELIEVE ME.
WOMEN ARE BURNING THE HEAD SCARF
AND THIS IS NOT JUST A SMALL
PIECE OF CLOTH, WOMEN IN
AFGHANISTAN, THIS IS THE MOST
SIMPLE OF A RELIGIOUS
DICTATORSHIP.
IN 2009 IT WAS ABOUT AN INTERNAL
FIGHT BETWEEN CONSERVATIVE
REFORMISTS, THIS TIME FROM THE
BEGINNING THE BRUTAL DEATH
CREATED HUGE ANGER.
NOT ONLY BURNING THE HEADSCARF
THEY ARE MARCHING AGAINST
DICTATORS.
THE BRUTAL DEATH ACTUALLY BECAME
A TURNING POINT FOR WOMEN WHO
HAVE BEEN PUSHING BACK THIS
APARTHEID REGIME FOR YEARS.
[APPLAUSE]
>> Bill: TAKE ME THROUGH
WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO THE
NEXT MONTHS OR YEARS, THIS
REGIME IS NOT GOING TO GIVE UP.
>> DON'T SAY THAT.
>> Bill: OKAY, THEY ARE GOING
TO GIVE UP.
>> WE HAVE BEEN SAYING RIGHT NOW
FOR YEARS AND YEARS WE HAVE THE
FEAR INSIDE US.
BELIEVE ME THE IRANIAN REGIME
THEY ARE SCARED OF THE WOMEN.
RIGHT NOW THIS BECAME A TIPPING
POINT FOR THE ISLAMIC REPUBLIC
BECAUSE IT'S NOT JUST IN IRAN.
ACROSS THE WAR PEOPLE ARE
WATCHING THESE FEARLESS WOMEN
ARE READY.
TIKTOK GENERATIONS ARE BEING
KILLED IN THE STREETS.
THAT IS WHAT SCARES THE REGIME
AND I ALWAYS SAY FOR THE ISLAMIC
REPUBLIC, FOR THE TALIBAN THIS
COMPULSORY JOB IS LIKE THE
BERLIN WALL.
NOW WE ARE TEARING THIS WALL
DOWN AND THE ISLAMIC REPUBLIC
WON'T EXIST.
THIS IS THE END.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Bill: I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU MENTIONED AFGHANISTAN.
WE PULLED OUT OF AFGHANISTAN,
THE TALIBAN TOOK OVER AND IT
WENT RIGHT BACK TO THE BAD OLD
DAYS.
>> THAT'S WHY I DON'T HAVE ANY
HOPE ON THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION
I DON'T HAVE ANY HOPE IN WESTERN
COUNTRIES, THEY INVENTED MY
SIFTER AND AFGHANISTAN BUT GUESS
WHO CAME TO THE STREETS TO
SUPPORT THE IRANIAN WOMEN?
THE FIRST GROUP WHO CAME TO THE
STREETS WERE WOMEN OF
AFGHANISTAN.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?
THE WESTERN FEMINISTS WHO WENT
TO MY COUNTRY, WAR HIJAB, THEY
BOWED TO THE TALIBAN.
>> Bill: WHY ARE LIBERALS SOLD
MORONIC ABOUT THE PROBLEM?
>> IT BREAKS MY HEART.
FOR YEARS AND YEARS WE HAVE BEEN
WARNING THEM ABOUT THE DANGERS
OF MORALITY POLICE.
YOU KNOW WHY?
MOST OF THEM SPEAK PERFECT
ENGLISH AND THEY HAVE -- TO
ACTUALLY TALK ABOUT ISLAM AND
ISLAMIC COUNTRIES.
THEY NEVER GO AND LIVE UNDER
SHARIA LAW BUT THEY DON'T LET US
TALK ABOUT OUR OWN EXPERIENCE.
I GREW UP IN A COUNTRY WHERE I
WAS TOLD IF YOU SHOW YOUR HAIR
YOU'RE GOING TO GO YOUR JAIL,
YOU WILL RECEIVE LASHES, YOU
WILL GET KILLED LIKE MAHSA AMIN
AMINI.
HERE THEY TELL ME IF YOU TALK
ABOUT THIS YOU'RE GOING TO CAUSE
ISLAMOPHOBIA.
PHOBIA IS IRRATIONAL BUT MY FEAR
AND THE FEAR OF MILLIONS OF
IRANIAN WOMEN IN AFGHANISTAN IS
RATIONAL.
[CHEERS AND APPLAU
YOU'RE NOT SCARED OF LAWS,
YOU'RE NOT SCARED OF BEING
KILLED?
>> Bill: I AM.
>> IF YOU DON'T THERE'S
SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU.
>> Bill: I'VE BEEN SAYING IT
FOR YEARS.
>> I WAS TOLD DON'T GO TO BILL
MAHER'S SHOW BECAUSE YOU'RE
GOING TO BE CANCELED BECAUSE
EASILY ISLAMOPHOBIC THEIR CELT
YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT CANCELING
ME JUST FOR GOING FOR THE SHOW.
>> Bill: NEITHER ONE OF US IS
ISLAMOPHOBIC AND WE AGREE ON
THIS.
I'M A TRADITIONAL LIBERAL.
I BELIEVE YOU SHOULD TREAT
PEOPLE WITH FREEDOM AND DIGNITY.
THE FACT THAT THERE'S A YOUNG
WOMAN NAMED JASMINE MOHAMMED,
SHE BROUGHT UP IN CANADA -- SHE
WROTE A BOOK CALLED UNVEILED HOW
WESTERN LIBERALS EMPOWER RADICAL
ISLAM.
WHY ARE WESTERN LIBERALS
EMPOWERING THESE FORCES OF EVIL?
SHE WAS PUT IN A -- I FORGET.
>> IS NO DIFFERENT.
>> Bill: IT'S ONE THING TO
HAVE A HEAD COVERING -- PEOPLE
SHOULD BE FREE TO DRESS HOWEVER
THEY WANT.
THAT'S NOT THE SAME THING AS HE
WOULD MUCH RATHER JUST HAVE TO
WEAR THAT THAN SOMETHING THAT
COVERS YOUR FACE.
>> IF YOU ASK WOMEN IN IRAN,
AFGHANISTAN, FOR US IT'S NOT
DIFFERENT BUT YOU ARE FORCED TO
COVER YOUR HAIR OR YOUR FACE.
WOMEN.LL ABOUT CONTROLLING WOME
>> Bill: IT' OF COURSE IT IS, IM
SORRY BUT YOUR FACE IS STILL
EXPOSED.
>> THE WOMAN GOT KILLED BECAUSE
OF HER HAIR.
>> Bill: IS A DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN HAVING YOUR FACE IN THE
WORLD AND NOT EVEN HAVING THAT.
CAN I REVIEW HER QUOTE?
THIS IS HER DESCRIBING IT WHEN
SHE WAS MARRIED OFF TO SOMEBODY
WHO WENT TO AL QAEDA -- SHE'S
LIVING IN TORONTO.
THIS IS IN CANADA.
"I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO HEAR HER
VERSION OF WHAT IT'S LIKE TO
HAVE TO WEAR THAT ALL DAY.
SHE SAID WHEN HER HUSBAND PUT IT
ON AND SHE SAID "IT HELPS
TURNING ME INTO A NOTHING THAT
THE MAN CAN CONTROL VERY EASILY.
IT SUPPRESSES YOUR HUMANITY
ENTIRELY.
UP IT'S LIKE A PORTABLE SENSORY
DEPRIVATION CHAMBER AND YOU ARE
NO LONGER CONNECTED TO HUMANITY.
YOU CAN'T SEE PROPERLY, YOU
CAN'T HEAR PROPERLY, YOU CAN'T
SPEAK PROPERLY, PEOPLE CAN'T SEE
YOU.
YOU CAN ONLY SEE THEM.
LITTLE THINGS LIKE PASSING
PEOPLE IN THE STREET AND MAKING
EYE CONTACT AND SMILING.
THAT IS GONE.
YOU ARE NO LONGER PART OF THIS
WORLD UNTIL YOU VERY QUICKLY
SHRIVEL UP INTO NOTHING UNDER
THERE.
"THAT'S WHAT I WOULD LIKE
LIBERALS TO KEEP IN OUR MINDS
EVERY TIME THEY SAY
ISLAMOPHOBIA, THAT IS WHAT IS
GOING ON.
[APPLAUSE]
HOW CAN YOU ENABLE THAT?
WHY DO THEY ENABLE THAT?
>> I INVITE THE MALL TO GO AND
LIVE UNDER SHARIA LAW IN IRAN
AND AFGHANISTAN, THEY WOULD SAY
NO.
THEY ALWAYS, ALWAYS TRY TO
DOWNPLAY OUR CAUSE BUT THEY
DON'T EVEN DARE TO LIVE ONLY ONE
DAY WEARING THE BURQA OR H HIJA.
I CHALLENGE ILHAN OMAR.
>> Bill: THE MUSLIM
CONGRESSWOMAN FROM MINNESOTA.
>> SHE'S COMING NOW WITH
LEGISLATION GATHERING
INFORMATION AROUND THE WORLD AT
WHOSE CAUSES ISLAMOPHOBIA?
HERE IN AMERICA NOW SOMEONE
MONITORING THAT WE ARE GOING TO
CAUSE ISLAMOPHOBIA?
THOSE WHO LASH US, THOSE WHO
KILL US, THOSE WHO HANG US.
IF WE SAY I DON'T WANT TO BE A
MUSLIM ANYMORE, THEY ARE GOING
KILL YOU.
THEY CREATE PHOBIA, OF COURSE
IT'S NOT ME.
>> Bill: YOU INVITED
CONGRESSWOMAN OMAR AND AOC TO
COME WITH YOU -- DID THEY
DECLINE YOUR REQUEST?
>> THEY SAID YOU WERE BEING PAID
BY U.S. GOVERNMENT, SO
ILHAN OMAR ISN'T BEING PAID BY
U.S. GOVERNMENT?
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
>> Bill: YOU'RE A VERY BRAVE
PERSON.
>> I HAVE TO BE BRAVE BECAUSE I
DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER OPTION.
MY PEOPLE ARE GETTING KILLED AND
FOUR YEARS AND YEARS HAVE BEEN
TELLING ALL THE WESTERN FAMILIES
FROM EUROPEAN PARLIAMENT CAN YOU
BELIEVE THEY INVITED ME TO TALK
ABOUT BURQA BAND?
I HIJACKED THE CAUSE AND I SAID
WHAT HYPOCRITES YOU ARE.
YOU BRING ME HERE TO CONDEMN
BURQA BAN, BUT WHEN IT COMES TO
WEARING HIJAB YOU BOWED TO THE
IRANIAN GOVERNMENT, YOU WEAR THE
HIJAB AND NOW YOU ARE WRONG.
MY PEOPLE IN IRAN, THEY ARE
RIGHT.
I WILL STAND UP FOR IRANIAN
WOMEN.
>> Bill: KEEP YOUR HAIR
FLYING, YOU ALWAYS HAVE A FRIEND
HERE, YOU KNOW THAT.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
LET'S MEET OUR PANEL!
>> Bill: HE IS A CNN POLITICAL
COMMENTATOR AND HOST OF THE
PODCAST ON COMMON GROUND WITH
VAN JONES, VAN JONES IS OVER
HERE.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
SHE'S A STAFF WRITER AT THE
ATLANTIC AND AUTHOR OF "GIRL
LAND": CAITLIN FLANAGAN.
BACK WITH US.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
I'M TRYING TO FIND SOME HOPE IN
THE WORLD I SAW THIS WEEK I WAS
WATCHING THE STORM AND I'M
READING ABOUT HOW BIDEN AND
RON DeSANTIS WORKED TOGETHER
VERY PEACEABLY, TWO PEOPLE WHO
ABSENTLY HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON
POLITICALLY AND COULD BE FACING
OFF AGAINST EACH OTHER AT SOME
POINT.
WE HAD A STORM AND THE
PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
DIDN'T IGNORE FLORIDA BECAUSE
THEY DIDN'T VOTE FOR HIM.
HIM AND HE LECTURE THEM LIKE
TRUMP DID WHEN WE HAD FIRES --
YOU SHOULD DO MORE RAKING.
[LAUGHTER]
SQUEEGEE FLORIDA -- AND MY JUST
DRAWING AT STRAWS HERE THAT THIS
IS A HARBINGER OF SOME HOPE THAT
DeSANTIS AND BIDEN CAN PUT
ASIDE DIFFERENCES LIKE
PRESIDENTS AND GOVERNORS OF
DIFFERENT PARTIES USED TO DO?
[APPLAUSE]
>> THE BAR HAS GOTTEN THAT LOW.
PEOPLE ARE CLAPPING -- GROWN-UPS
ARE ACTING LIKE GROWN-UPS.
HE WENT TO PUERTO RICO AND HE
THREW THE TOWELS AT PEOPLE, NONE
OF THAT HAPPENS, NOW WE ARE ALL
HAPPY.
>> Bill: HE DIDN'T THROW
TOWELS AT PEOPLE.
I FIND THERE IS A PARADOX AND I
WANT TO ASK YOU ABOUT IT WHEN I
TALK TO PEOPLE IN THE LAST FEW
MONTHS IT'S LIKE THE FIRST THING
IS HE SHOULD NOT RUN AGAIN --
I'M TALKING ABOUT DEMOCRATS WHO
ARE PRETTY MUCH IN THE CAMP AND
THEY ARE LIKE HE SHOULD NOT RUN
BUT THEN THEY SAY DO YOU THINK
HE'S DOING A GOOD JOB?
HE'S DOING GREAT.
WE DON'T WANT ANY MORE OF THAT.
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> ONE OF THE REASONS HE IS SO
APPEALING IS THAT HE HEARKENS
BACK TO WHEN THE
DEMOCRATIC PARTY WAS REALLY THE
PARTY OF THE WORKING MAN AND
WOMAN, IT DIDN'T MATTER YOUR
RACE, DIDN'T MATTER WHERE YOU
WERE IN THE COUNTRY.
STRONG UNION, NATIONAL LABOR
RELATIONS BOARD THEY CAME AFTER
AMAZON FOR UNIONBUSTING AND HE'S
DOING A GREAT JOB OF THINGS THAT
MATTER TO US.
THE REASON HE REMEMBERS THOSE
TECHNIQUES IS HE A SUPER OLD,
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING
OLD, NO SHAME TO IT, I'M OLD.
THERE IS NATURAL PROCESSES THAT
HAPPEN AND IT SEEMS LIKE HE IS
LOSING HIS ACUITY WHICH A LOT OF
OLDER MEN DO AND COMPENSATING IT
WITH THIS WONDERFUL ABILITY TO
GET PEOPLE TO WORK TOGETHER.
I WOULD SAY I DON'T THINK WE
NEED TO GET A PANEL OF
GERONTOLOGISTS TO LOOK AT THIS
SITUATION, OLD PEOPLE ARE LIKE
WE WILL TAKE THE KEYS NOW.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
>> Bill: I'M SO DISAPPOINTED
THAT YOU LIKE ME NOT SO YOUNG
WOULD SAY THIS.
IT'S SUCH BULLSHIT.
THE SAME WEEK THAT HE DID THIS,
KAMALA HARRIS WAS OVER IN KOREA
SAYING OUR LONGTIME ALLY
NORTH KOREA.
>> THE BAR IS LOW.
I'M JUST SAYING NOBODY IS WRONG
TO SAY --
>> Bill: HE'S THE SAME GUY, HE
WAS ALWAYS A GAFFE MACHINE.
HE IS MORE DISCIPLINED THAN HE
USED TO BE.
>> I THINK THE REALITY IS WHEN
HE'S STRONG HE'S VERY STRONG AND
WHEN HE'S WEAK HE'S VERY WEAK.
THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE ARE
RESPONDING TO.
FROM MY POINT OF VIEW, IF THE
PUBLIC IN 2024 SEES WHAT THEY
PERCEIVED TO BE A WEEK INSIDER
VERSUS A SCARY OUTSIDER, TRUMP
OR DeSANTIS, IF THAT IS THE
PERCEPTION WE'VE SEEN IN FRANCE,
WE'VE SEEN IN ITALY AND SWEDEN,
THE PUBLIC BREAKTHROUGH THAT'S
CARRIED OUTSIDER.
I DO THINK PEOPLE HAVE A REASON
TO BE CONCERNED.
IF HE CONTINUES TO BE PERCEIVED
TO BE WEAK BUT THE REALITY IS
WHAT'S THE ALTERNATIVE TO BIDEN?
THAT'S A QUESTION I ASK PEOPLE.
THIS GUY HAS A TRACK RECORD NOW
ON EVERYTHING PEOPLE'S IT WAS
IMPOSSIBLE.
IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO GET
ANYTHING DONE ON GUNS, HE GOT IT
DONE.
IMPOSSIBLE TO GET ANYTHING DONE
ON CLIMATE, HE GOT IT DONE.
WE HAD INFRASTRUCTURE WEEK EVERY
WEEK UNDER TRUMP ADMINISTRATION
EVERY WEEK AND BIDEN GOT IT
DONE.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Bill: NEGOTIATING DRUG
PRICES WITH MEDICARE.
>> WE HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT
THAT FOR 30 YEARS.
>> Bill: OBAMA TRIED IT.
>> A HUGE FACTORY THAT OPENED IN
OHIO, THAT TRUMP PROMISED
ENDLESSLY.
>> Bill: GOT TO GET RID OF
HIM, I SEE YOUR POINT.
>> YOU DON'T SEE ET AL. ANY
CONCERNS AT ALL?
>> Bill: COMPARED TO WHAT?
WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE GREAT
WISDOM IN THE BODY OF A
20-YEAR-OLD?
YES, EVERYBODY WOULD BUT THAT'S
NOT LIFE.
IT DOESN'T MATTER, HE DOESN'T
HAVE TO -- I ADMIT, HE'S GOING
TO HAVE TROUBLE IN DEBATES,
DEBATES ARE GOING TO LOOK BAD
TO.
PREPARE FOR IT NOW THERE'S GOING
TO BE SOME SENIOR MOMENTS.
HE COULD SHOW UP WITHOUT PANTS,
THAT IS TRUE.
HE COULD DO AN ADMIRAL
STOCKDALE, WHERE AM I?
IT COULD HAPPEN -- IT DOESN'T
MATTER IF YOUR COW THAT HAS
NOTHING TO DO WITH RUNNING THE
COUNTRY.
YOU RUN THE COUNTRY BEHIND THE
SCENES, THIS IS ALL SHOW.
>> AS LONG AS HE IS BEHIND THE
SCENES AND GETTING PEOPLE
TOGETHER AND TALKING AND PUSHING
LEGISLATION THROUGH -- HE HAS A
UNIQUE SKILL SET I GUESS YOU
WOULD SAY THAT IS VERY POWERFUL
RIGHT NOW.
>> YOU HAVE TO BE PROUD OF THE
GUY, I GOT A CHANCE TO WORK FOR
HIM IN THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION,
HEEALLY DOES GIVE A DAMN.
IT'S ONE THING TO CARE IT'S
ANOTHER THING TO BE CONFIDENT,
COMPETENT.
WE'VE BEEN SO DEPRESSED AND SO
BEAT DOWN FOR SO LONG, WE DON'T
KNOW HOW TO HAVE A HAPPY DAY.
WE CAN HAVE SOME HAPPY DAYS BUT
WE ARE AFRAID TO.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT MORE PRESIDENT
COULD DO THAN HE'S DONE IN THE
PAST FEW MONTHS, I DON'T KNOW.
>> Bill: HE'S NOT GIVING IT
UP.
HE WAITED A VERY LONG TIME, HE'S
LIKE DRACULA.
I HAVE CROSSED OCEANS OF TIME.
OCEANS OF TIME TO BE THE
PRESIDENT.
ONCE YOU HAVE THAT REAL ESTATE
AND YOU WAKE UP IN THE
WHITE HOUSE AND YOUR OFFICE IS
THE OVAL, I DON'T THINK YOU GIVE
IT UP.
>> HE'S NOT GOING TO QUIT, HE'S
NOT A QUITTER.
>> Bill: IT'S VERY HARD TO
TAKE THE NOMINATION AWAY FROM
THE PRESIDENT A SITTING
PRESIDENT, WHAT I COULD SEE IS
REPLACING THE VICE PRESIDENT.
[APPLAUSE]
SHE'S NOT VERY POPULAR ANYWHERE
IN THE DIDN'T SEEM TO WORK OUT.
THAT HAS BEEN DONE BEFORE ON A
TICKETS.
>> TULSI GABBARD, REMEMBER THAT
WAS THAT MOMENT IN THE DEBATE
WHERE SHE BROUGHT UP THAT THERE
ARE MEN AND WOMEN IN CALIFORNIA
THAT ARE IN PRISON FOR THESE HOT
DEALS AND SHE WAS LAUGHING ABOUT
GETTING HIGH ON THE
RADIO STATION.
TULSI GABBARD WAS THIS
HEAT-SEEKING MISSILE, THAT WAS
THE END OF IT.
IN ADDITION TO BEING FOR SOME
REASON AND OFF-PUTTING PERSON,
SHE ALSO HAS I THINK A LOT OF
BAGGAGE THAT PROBABLY WOULDN'T
DO WELL UNDER A LOT OF SCRUTINY.
>> Bill: I THINK SHE'S A BAD
POLITICIAN, I THINK SHE'S A VERY
BRIGHT PERSON.
I CAN SEE THEM DOING THAT
BECAUSE A LOT OF THE PROBLEM
WITH BIDEN BEING OLD IS IF HE
DIES Y GOING TO GET THIS
PERSON.
OKAY, HERE'S THE PROBLEM WITH
THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY.
THEY ARE SO BOXED IN BY IDENTITY
POLITICS THAT YOU CANNOT
CONCEIVE OF A DEMOCRATIC TICKET
THAT DOESN'T HAVE A WOMAN,
PERSON OF COLOR ON IT AND PRETTY
SOON GOING TO LINE UP BEHIND
THAT, GAY, LATINO, YOU'RE GOING
TO HAVE TO HAVE A DEAF ESKIMO --
AUGH
IN MY RIGHT, THEY ARE BOXED IN?
>> I SEE IT DIFFERENTLY AND THAT
I DON'T THINK SHE'S CAUGHT FIRE
YET I THINK THE POLLING DATA
SAYS THAT IF I DON'T THINK SHE
WILL BE A WEIGHT ON THE TICKETS.
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT IDENTITY
POLITICS, JOE BIDEN IS AN
EXAMPLE OF IDENTITY POLITICS.
JOE BIDEN IS AN EXAMPLE OF BLACK
VOTERS SAYING WE THINK WE NEED
TO PUT A WHITE GUY IN THERE AND
NOBODY SAID -- PENCE, HOW DO YOU
GET PENCE?
YOU HAVE TRUMP WHO IS NOT THE
MOST SAINTLY GUY IN THE WORLD
NEED SOMEBODY WHOSE IDENTITY IS
A CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN, HE
GETS PENCE PICKLE POLITICS ABOUT
IDENTITY, THAT IS WHAT IT IS.
WHENEVER IT IS A OF COLOR OR A
WOMAN THEY SAY THAT'S IDENTITY
POLITICS.
THEY JUST NEED A TICKET THAT CAN
WIN.
[APPLAUSE]
>> I THINK YOU ARE RIGHT, BIDEN
HAS DONE WHEN I SAT DOWN BEFORE
COMINGERE, WE JUST WENT
THROUGH ALL THE POSITIVE THINGS
THAT HE HAS DONE THAT I HADOT
HEARD OF, AS A PERSON WITH A
GENERAL EDUCATION WATCHES THE
NEWS.
CYCLE AFTER CYCLE WAS TAKEN OVER
BY A GRAPHIC, COMIC BOOK IN A
SCHOOL OF A TRANS KID GIVING A
BLOW JOB TO ANOTHER KID.
WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH
ANYTHING?
>> Bill: WGHTS.
[LAUGHTER]
>> EVERYBODY IS FINDING THESE
TERRIFYING BOOKS.
>> Bill: THIS IS A BOOK IN THE
SCHOOL?
>> IT'S A GRAPHIC NOVEL.
>> Bill: THAT THEY ARE
>> IT'S IN THE LIBRARY.
I GUESS IT HAD TO BE IN
PICTURES, THEY HAVEN'T TAUGHT
THEM HOW TO READ.
[LAUGHTER]
I CAN'T REMEMBER THE TITLE BUT
IT'S SOMETHING ABOUT THEY SHOW
THE PICTURE, THIS TRANS KID IS
BLOWING THIS OTHER PERSON IN THE
LIBRARY.
I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M THE ONE
THAT'S TALKING ABOUT THIS.
[LAUGHTER]
I'M NOT EVEN AGAINST THE BOOK.
>> Bill: WHAT IS YOUR POINT OF
VIEW, ARE WE FOR BLOW JOB BOOKS
IN THE LIBRARY?
>> MUCH AS I THINK -- AS MY
RECOLLECTION HAS IT, THESE
THINGS GET FIGURED OUT VERY
NATURALLY.
I DO THINK AND IT SEEMS PERVERSE
AND HIDEOUS TO HAPPEN.
>> Bill: I DID NOT FIGURE OUT
BLOW JOBS -- I REMEMBER ASKING
IN HEALTH CLASS CAN YOU GET
PREGNANT FROM A BLOW JOB ?
[LAUGHTER]
THAT'S WHERE WE LEARNED SEX, IT
WAS THE GYM TEACHER.
ONCE A WEEK INSTEAD OF DOING THE
GYM GYM STUFF, YOU HAD CAN YOU
GET PREGNANT FROM A BLOW JOB ?
YOU HA TO ASK AT SOME POINT IN
YOUR LIFE, I WAS 19 BUT STILL.
>> WE ARE PAST THAT NOW.
>> WE ARE SO PAST THAT.
>> Bill: WHERE ARE WE?
>> THEY HAVE THIS PICTURE BOOK
OF A TRANS KID BLOWING ANOTHER
KID AND I'M THINKING OF MYSELF
THAT IMAGE HAS PROBABLY GOT SO
MUCH MORE IN THAT STORY HUMANITY
AND RELATIONSHIP AND KINDNESS
THEN 1% OF WHAT THAT ACT AS
DEMONSTRATED BY IN THE PORN
SATURATED WORLD WE ALL LIVE IN,
GO AHEAD AND KEEP THE BOOK BUT
IT SHOULDN'T BE -- THE CHIPS ACT
GETS PASSED AND WE ARE TALKING
ABOUT THIS BLOW JOB COMIC BOOK?
>> Bill: TO BE FAIR, WE
WEREN'T PLANNING ON TALKING
ABOUT IT.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
>> I MAY HAVE OVER DOUGHNUTS ON
THE BLOW JOB .
I THINK WE GET CAUGHT UP, WE ARE
PUSHING THINGS THROUGH AND WE
GET CAUGHT UP IN THESE CRAZY
ARGUMENTS, MAYBE IT'S JUST ME.
LET'S MOVE ON.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Bill: SPEAKING OF BLOW JOBS
JOBS.
THE KING OF BLENDS THEY CALL ME.
A NEW CONSERVATIVE DATING AT ONE
OF MY BIG COMPLAINTS ABOUT
AMERICA IS EVERYONE IS IN THEIR
OWN LITTLE BUBBLE, I'M GOING TO
DO THE WHOLE THING AT THE END OF
THE SHOW NEXT WEEKOBODY
MINGLES ANY MORE.
FOR EXAMPLE DATING APPS.
FARMERS ONLY -- JUST FARMING.
I DON'T WANT TO DATE ANYBODY WHO
HASN'T MILKED SOMETHING.
WHAT THE FUCK?
AND THEN THERE'S JEWS ONLY --
NOT HELPING THIS CAUSES ANOTHER
ONE NOW PETER TEAL THE
BILLIONAIRE, HE'S PUT OUT A NEW
DATING APP CALLED THE RIGHT
STUFF, ONLY CONSERVATIVE IS.
IT'S A REAL THING, WE GOT A HOLD
OF SOME OF THESEFILES.
YOU WANT TO HEAR WHAT PEOPLE SAY
ON THE RIGHT STUFF?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
RUSTY FROM CHATTANOOGA SAYS:
"LOOKING FOR THAT SPECIAL ONE TO
HELP ME FIND LOVE, AND HILLARY'S
EMAILS."
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
KIRK FROM SAN DIEGO SAYS: "I
LIKE ROMANTIC DINNERS BY
TIKI-TORCH LIGHT AND LONG WALKS
ON AN OIL-SOAKED BEACH."
[LAUGHTER]
VERY CONSERVATIVE.
TOMMY FROM TUPELO SAYS: "I'M
HUNG.
LIKE MIKE PENCE SHOULD BE."
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
SUSAN FROM CLAYTON, MISSOURI
SAYS: "TIRED OF PATROLLING THE
NEIGHBORHOOD FOR SUSPICIOUS
BLACK MEN ALONE."
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
FLOYD FROM BRANSON, MISSOURI
SAYS: "NEED A WOMAN WHO'LL WASH
MY "THESE COLORS DON'T RUN" TEE
SHIRT IN COLD WATER, GOD DAMN
IT."
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
GLENN FROM SARASOTA SAYS: "I
LIKE LONG WALKS IN MY WALK IN
BATH TUB."
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
GARY FROM MIDLAND SAYS: "YOUR
COMPOUND OR MINE?"
[LAUGHTER]
KERRY FROM MEMPHIS SAYS: "DOG
LOVER -- SPECIFICALLY, THE ONES
USED ON CIVIL RIGHTS PROTESTORS
IN THE '60S."
DANNY FROM SACRAMENTO SAYS: "BIG
AYN RAND FAN.
ATLAS SHRUGGED.
BUT YOU WON'T WHEN YOU SEE MY
--
BUCKET BUCKET
BUT YOU WON'T WHEN YOU SEE MY
PENIS."
BRENT, FROM CORPUS CHRISTI SAYS:
SUE ELLEN FROM KNOXVILLE SAYS:
"PROUD PURITY RING WEARER.
THE LORD IS MY SAVIOR.
UP FOR ANAL.
NO RINOS."
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
I'M GOING TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT
SLIGHTLY.
[LAUGHTER]
>> YOU SAY IT, SHE'S TALKING
ABOUT THESE BLOW JOB BOOKS IN
THE LIBRARY.
>> Bill: WE HAVE TO OUT.
[LAUGHTER]
THERE IS AN INTERESTING
POLITICAL THAT SHOWED
REPUBLICANS DON'T WANT TRUMP TO
BE THE NOMINEE WAY MORE THAN
THEY DIDN'T WANT HIM IN 2020.
HE HAS DROPPED 20%, THAT IS AN
AWFUL LOT AMONG REPUBLICANS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THAT'S ONLY HALF THE STORY.
THEY WANT SOMEBODY ELSE,
PROBABLY DeSANTIS.
TRUMP IS THE NOMINEE, HE IS
STILL IN A DEAD HEAT WITH THE
DEMOCRATS WHICH JUST SHOWS
WHOEVER THE DEMOCRAT IS, IT'S
NOT EVEN ON THE TABLE.
I ALWAYS ASK THIS QUESTION, THE
TOXIC D.
WHAT MAKES PEOPLE HATE DEMOCRATS
SO MUCH THAT -- I'VE SAID THIS
BEFORE, WHEN YOU TALK TRUMP
PEOPLE THEY SAID THE BIGGEST
MISCONCEPTION IS THAT I LIKE HI
HIM.
[LAUGHTER]
OKAY, EXHIBIT 1,922.
ARTICLE IN THE ATLANTIC LAST
WEEK, THE ATLANTIC, A VERY
REPUTABLE -- OKAY.
>> PUBLISHES THINGS FROM AROUND
THE POLITICAL SPECTRUM.
>> Bill: HIGHLY RESPECTED,
THIS ARTICLE IS CALLED
SEPARATING SPORTS BY SEX IT
DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
YES IT DOES!
THIS IS THE PROBLEM WITH THE
DEMOCRATS.
THEY ARE THE PARTY OF NO COMMON
SENSE.
>> YOU FOUND YOUR BLOW JOB .
ALL THESE TOGETHER ARE THE
PROBLEM.
[LAUGHTER]
THESE INSANE SOCIAL ISSUES AND
IDENTITY POLITICS ARE
DISTRACTING.
>> Bill: CAN I READ SOME OF
THIS ARTICLE?
MAINTAINING THIS BINARY IN YOUTH
SPORTS -- MAINTAINING THIS
BINARY MEANING BOYS AND GIRLS ON
DIFFERENT TEAMS WHEN THEY ARE
YOUNG REINFORCES THE IDEA THAT
THE BOYS ARE INHERENTLY BIGGER,
FASTER, AND STRONGER.
THEY ARE!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THIS IS A NOTION THAT HAS BEEN
CHALLENGED BY SCIENTISTS FOR
YEARS -- NO IT HASN'T.
THESE ARE THEY FOLLOW THE
SCIENCE PEOPLE.
FOLLOW THE SCIENCE.
>> I READ THE ARTICLE, I WAS
SHOCKED BY THE HEADLINE.
I READ THE ARTICLE, I THINK THEY
ARE MAKING A PARTICULAR POINT
WHICH IS THAT THERE ARE SOME
SPORTS -- SOCCER FOR INSTANCE --
WERE A REALLY, REALLY GOOD GIRL
IS BETTER THAN A MEDIOCRE BOY
AND IF SHE WANTS TO PLAY ON THE
BOYS TEAM, SHE SHOULD PROBABLY
BE ALLOWED TO.
I THINK THAT MAKES SENSE.
WHAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE IS WHEN
A REALLY, REALLY GOOD BOY WANTS
TO PLAY ON THE GIRLS TEAM
BECAUSE THAT IS GOING TO RESULT
IN AN UNFAIR ADVANTAGE.
I THINK THIS ISSUE AROUND THE
GENDER BINARY HAS TAKEN UP WAY
TOO MUCH SPACE IN THE PUBLIC
CONVERSATION.
I THINK PEOPLE ARE WARY OF IT,
PEOPLE PUTTING THE PRONOUNS ON
THE ZOOM, ALL OF THAT STUFF
STARTS TO S SIGNAL TO
WORKING-CLASS VOTERS THAT PEOPLE
ARE NOT CONCERNED ABOUT THINGS
THAT ARE AFFECTING YOU EVERYDAYT
INFLATION -- WHICH IS NOT TO SAY
YOU CAN'T CARE ABOUT EVERYBODY
BUT IT'S SOMETHING THAT'S OUT OF
BALANCE.
WHEN WE START SENDING THE
CULTURAL SIGNAL THAT WE ARE MORE
CONCERNED ABOUT THE PRONOUN YOU
PUT ON YOUR RESUME CALLED AND WE
ARE CONCERNED ABOUT THE FACT
THAT YOU DON'T HAVE A HOUSE OR A
JOB, I THINK THE PARTY IS OFF
TRACK.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Bill: WHY DON'T YOU RUN?
>> THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO KNOW!
>> Bill: I HEAR BIDEN IS GOING
TO BEAT A PERSON OF COLOR ON THE
TICKETS.
[LAUGHTER]
>> I'VE BEEN BLESSED IN MY LIFE,
I GREW UP ON THE EDGE OF A SMALL
TOWN IN A RED STATE.
I WENT TO ALL PUBLIC SCHOOLS.
I GOT A MINORITY AT SCHOLARSHIP
TO GO TO THE UNIVERSITY OF
TENNESSEE AT MARTIN AND IT
CHANGED MY LIFE.
I USED TO WORK AT A LOCAL
NEWSPAPER IN THE MAILROOM
RUNNING THE PRESSESITH BUNCH
OF WHITE GUYS.
AND ONE ACADEMIC YEAR I GOT A
CHANCE TO LEAVE THERE, GO TO
SCHOOL, I CAME IN THE FRONT DOOR
OF THAT NEWSPAPER, TOOK A SHOWER
BEFORE WORK.
BEFORE I WOULD'VE GONE IN THE
BACK AND TOOK A SHOWER AFTER
WORK.
ONE YEAR OF COLLEGE CHANGED MY
LIFE.
BY THE TIME I GRADUATED FROM
COLLEGE ALL OF THOSE WHITE GUYS
LOST THEIR JOBS BECAUSE THEY
BROUGHT IN THE PRINTING PRESS
THAT WAS A BIG ROBOT AND THEY
DIDN'T NEED THE GUYS.
I UNDERSTAND HOW PEOPLE CAN
SOMETIMES FEEL THAT THEY ARE
BEING LEFT BEHIND, LEFT OUT,
SOLD DOWN THE RIVER BY BOTH
PARTIES.
I THINK DEMOCRATS MISS
OPPORTUNITY AFTER OPPORTUNITY TO
TELL PEOPLE WE GET THAT.
>> I PRODUCE SO MANY TIMES SAY
WE LOST THE WHITE WORKING CLASS
AND YOU'RE DESCRIBED IN THE
WHITE WORKING CLASS.
I REE WITH WHAT YOU'RE SAYING
NOW, IT'S THAT WE SHOULD NOT BE
SHUNNING THEM WE SHOULD BE
BRINGING THEM BACK IN.
>> THE OPPORTUNITY WE MISSED
WHEN WE GO DOWN THIS CULTURAL
RABBIT HOLES IS THE TELL THESE
GUYS THE REASON WE ARE MAD AT
THE WORKING-CLASS WHITE GUYS IS
BECAUSE WE NEED THEM.
WE NEED THEM, WE CAN'T HAVE THE
COUNTRY WANT WITHOUT THEM.
>> WHAT DO WE NEED THEM FOR?
>> THEY ARE VETERANS OFTEN,
SMALL BUSINESS OWNERS,
GRANDDAD'S, BECAUSE THEY ARE
GOOD PEOPLE -- I DON'T CARE HOW
THEY VOTE TO.
WE HAVE YOUNG PEOPLE IN THIS
COUNTRY GOING TO BED HUNGRY AND
WE NEED THOSE GUYS ON THEIR SIDE
TO.
[APPLAUSE]
>> I'M AGREEING WITH YOU SO MUCH
I'M SO HAPPY TO HEAR YOU SAY
THAT BUT YOU'RE SAYING WE DID
DEMOCRATIC PARTY THAT'S SAYS
IT'S NOT ABOUT RACE, NOT ABOUT
IDENTITY IT'S ABOUT THE WORKING
CLASS AND WHERE THE PARTY OF THE
WORKING CLASS REGARDLESS, IT'S
NOT ABOUT THE BLACK WORKING
CLASS, THE BROWN WORKING-CLASS
AND THE REVILED WHITE WORKING
CLASS?
>> WHAT I'M SAYING IS WE NEED
EACH OTHER.
PEOPLE ARE HURTING AND
UNCERTAIN, NOT GOING TO GET OUT
OF THIS BY OURSELVES.
WE NEED EACH OTHER.
[APPLAUSE]
>> Bill: I WATCHED A LITTLE
BIT OF THIS LUCKY METRIC RECALL
DECONSTRUCTING KAREN, HAVE YOU
HEARD ABOUT THIS?
IT'S ABOUT THIS ORGANIZATION
CALLED THE RACE TO DINNER.
I'VE BEEN READING ABOUT IT, TOOK
A WOMEN OF COLOR GET WHITE
LIBERAL WOMEN TO PAY THEM A LOT
OF MONEY TO GO TO THEIR HOUSE,
HAVE A DINNER AND YELL AT THEM
THAT THEY ARE RACIST.
[LAUGHTER]
THIS IS -- THIS IS WHAT THEY ARE
SELLING.
ABOUT THEMSELVES.
DEAR WHITE WOMEN.
YOU BECAUSE IMMEASURABLE PAIN
AND DAMAGE TO BLACK, INDIGENOUS,
AND BROWN PEOPLE, THESE DINNERS
ARE A STARTING POINT START
THINKING THROUGH HOW YOU
ACTIVELY UPHOLD WHITE SUPREMACY
EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY.
I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE YOU THE
OPPORTUNITY TO KILL YOURSELF
RIGHT NOW.
>> I DON'T NEED TO KILL MYSELF
BECAUSE THESE TWO WOMEN, IF IT
WAS A SHARK ATTACK WOULD INVEST
IN THEM.
THEY HAVE FOUND A MARKET.
>> Bill: THEY ARE MAKING A
FORTUNE.
>> THEY FOUND THESE NITWITS TO
PAY FOR IT
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT?
I'VE LIVED IN LIBERAL CITIES MY
WHOLE LIFE, NO ONE HAS EVER GONE
BROKE OVERESTIMATING THE ALMOST
SEXUAL DESIRE OF WHITE LIBERALS
TO ROLL AROUND IN THEIR WHITE
LIBERAL GUILT AND I GUARANTEE
THAT LADIES, THAT WAS REALLY
HARD, NEXT WEEK ITS TEETH, LOVE,
PRAY AT DANA'S HOUSE.
NOTHING IS HAPPENING.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
I SALUTE THE HUSTLE OF THE
ENTREPRENEURS.
>> LET ME SAY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT
THESE PEOPLE ARE DOING BUT WHAT
I WILL SAY IS THIS --
[LAUGHTER]
THE REASON PEOPLE ARE GETTING
FATIGUED WITH THE DIVERSITY
CONVERSATION IS BECAUSE WE'VE
BEEN HAVING IT FOR SO LONG.
WHAT I WOULD SAY IS THIS, WHERE
DO WE GET TO THE BODY PART OF
THE BUDDY MOVIE?
THE BUDDY MOVIE AS YOU HAVE THE
BLACK GUY IN THE WHITE GUY, THEY
ARGUE IN A FIGHT BUT OF A
CERTAIN POINT THEY REALIZE THEY
HAVE SHARED HUMANITY AND THEY DO
SOMETHING AWESOME TOGETHER.
12 WE GET TO THE AWESOME PART?
I GET IT, WE FIGHT WE DON'T GET
ALONG BIT OF A CERTAIN POINT WE
SAY LET'S PUT UP THE SOLAR
PANELS IN THE REPORT COMMUNITY.
EDUCATE 100,000 YOUNG KIDS --
WHEN WE GET TO THE BODY PART
AFTER ALL THE FUSSING?
[APPLAUSE]
>> Bill: NOT AFTER THIS DINNER
DINNER.
SPEAK OUT THE WHITE WOMEN WILL
BE CLOSER, THEY HAVE ENDURED
SOMETHING THEY HAVE THEIR
BUDDIES NOW.
I REALLY AM STRONG ABOUT THIS,
THE BODY PART IS WHEN WE AS
DEMOCRATS STOP SENDING CHUCK
SCHUMER AROUND TO TELL THESE
WHITE WORKING CLASS PEOPLE THAT
WE STILL HATE YOU AND WE SAY
THESE ARE PEOPLE TOO, THESE ARE
AMERICANS.
THEY NEED ALL THESE THINGS AND
WE SHOULDN'T REVILED THEM ALL
THE TIME.
>> I'VE NEVER SEEN CHUCK SCHUME
SCHUMER --
>> CHUCK SCHUMER SAID IN 2016
YOU DON'T REMEMBER WHEN HE
SAID -- I DON'T CARE IF WE LOSE
FOR EVERYONE WORKING-CLASS WHITE
VOTER WOULD LOSE IN PENNSYLVANIA
AND OHIO AND MICHIGAN, WE ARE
GOING TO GET TWO COLLEGE
EDUCATED REPUBLICANS.
IT DIDN'T WORKND THE
MESSAGE WAS CLEAR.
HE DOESN'T WANT WHITE
WORKING-CLASS PEOPLE IN THE
PARTY.
>> I SEE IT DIFFERENTLY.
LISTEN, I LOVED THE COALITION
THAT WE PUT TOGETHER IN 2016
BECAUSE IT HAD PEOPLE IN THERE
WHO HAD BEEN LEFT OUT FOR A LONG
TIME.
IT HAD MUSLIMS AND GAYS AND
LESBIANS, IT HAD BLACK MOMS WHO
HAD LOST PEOPLE.
I LOVE THAT CIRCLE I JUST THINK
WE DREW THE CIRCLE TO SMALL AND
THERE WERE PEOPLE WHO WERE
HURTING WHO WERE OUTSIDE OF THAT
CIRCLE WHO ARE WORKING-CLASS
WHITE FOLKS AND OTHERS WE JUST
DIDN'T DRAW THE CIRCLE BIG
ENOUGH.
I DON'T WANT TO PUT DOWN A BLACK
AND BROWN FOLKS WHO ARE
SUFFERING -- I JUST WANT TO
BRING IN MORE FOLKS.
>> HOW DO WE BRING IN THE WHITE
WORKING CLASS?
HOW DO WE DO IT?
>> I DO THINK THAT WE'VE GOT TO
REBALANCE.
SOME OF THE CULTURAL STUFF
DOESN'T RESONATE OUTSIDE OF THE
BLUE CITIES, BUT WE'VE GOT TO BE
CAREFUL BECAUSE IF WE COME
ACROSS LIKE WE DON'T GET TO THE
PAIN OF THE FOLKS WE JUST
BROUGHT IN, THAT DOESN'T WORK
EITHER.
>> Bill: RIGHT, THERE IS ALSO
A BLACK WORKING CLASS, A VERY
LARGE ONE.
>> THEY NEVER USE THAT TERM.
>> Bill: PEOPLE TAKING SHOWERS
BEFORE BREAKFAST AFTER LUNCH --
VERY ENTERTAINING, THANK YOU
VERY MUCH.
TIME FOR NEW RULES, NEW RULES,
EVERYBODY.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
NEW RULE: DON'T FORGET TO ENJOY
AUTUMN BEFORE IT'S GONE.
IF YOU LIVE ON THE EAST COAST,
TAKE IN THE CHANGING LEAVES.
HERE IN THE WEST, ENJOY HOW FIRE
SEASON ROLLS INTO AWARDS SEASON.
AND IF YOU'RE IN RUSSIA, AND
YOU'RE THROWING SOMEONE OUT OF A
WINDOW, REMEMBER TO SAY, "HAVE A
NICE FALL."
[LAUGHTER]
NEW RULE: CREEPY OLD GUYS IN
DRAGON SHOWS HAVE TO STOP TAKING
BUSINESS MEETINGS DURING
DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENTS.
[LAUGHTER]
I'VE NEVER SEEN A DRAGON SHOW
WHERE AN OLD GUY DIDN'T
EVENTUALLY HAVE A SCENE WHERE
PEOPLE TRY TO TALK TO HIM WHILE
DOCTORS PUT LEACHES ON HIS DICK.
[LAUGHTER]
C'MON MAN, YOU'RE THE KING --
PUT THE MAGGOTS ON YOUR DICK
WHEN IT'S CONVENIENT FOR YOU,
EVERYBODY ELSE CAN RESCHEDULE.
[LAUGHTER]
NEW RULE: SINCE THERE'S A BREED
OF SPANIEL NAMED KING CHARLES,
AND NOW ALSO A MONARCH NAMED
KING CHARLES, LET'S NOT GET THE
TWO CONFUSED.
ONE HAS ENORMOUS EARS AND IS THE
RESULT OF INBREEDING, AND THE
[LAUGHTER]
NEW RULE: NOW THAT THERE ARE TWO
DOCUSERIES ON TV ABOUT CANNIBALS
-- ONE ABOUT A SPOILED HOLLYWOOD
WANNABE CANNIBAL, AND ONE ABOUT
A WORKING-CLASS KID FROM
MILWAUKEE WHO ACTUALLY ATE
PEOPLEYONE MUST ADMIT IT
SAYS A LOT ABOUT THE KIND OF
PERSON YOU ARE BY WHICH ONE OF
THESE YOU WATCH.
SORRY, ARMIE HAMMER, BUT TALKING
ABOUT EATING PEOPLE AND ACTUALLY
DOING IT ARE TWO DIFFERENT
THINGS.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
CALL ME WHEN THE COPS FIND AN
ARM IN YOUR FRIDGE.
[LAUGHTER]
NEW RULE: IF YOU WANT ME TO VOTE
FOR YOUR PROPOSITION, YOU CAN'T
JUST PUT AN INDIAN IN A FIELD
AND SAY "YES ON 27."
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHAT IT'S
ABOUT.
I FEEL LIKE A KID WATCHING ADS
FOR TAMPONS.
I KNOW THEY LET YOU SWIM AND
RIDE HORSES, BUT I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THEY DO.
[LAUGHTER]
AND FINALLY, NEW RULE.
NOW THAT AMERICANS ARE FINALLY
RETURNING TO THE OFFICE AFTER
THE PANDEMIC, LET'S LET THEM
CK.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
NOT NECESSARILY RIGHT ON THE
COPY MACHINE, BUT, YOU KNOW, IN
GENERAL.
I BRING THIS UP BECAUSE LAST
WEEK THE BOSTON CELTICS BECAME
THE LATEST CORPORATION TO SHOW
AN EXECUTIVE THE DOOR FOR WHAT
SEEMS TO BE ACKNOWLEDGED AS A
CONSENSUAL RELATIONSHIP WHEN
THEY SUSPENDED THEIR HEAD COACH
IME UDOKA.
NOW, FOR SURE, NOT ALL THE FACTS
ABOUT THIS CASE ARE KNOWN, AND
IF IT TURNS OUT THAT UDOKA WAS
VIOLENT OR PHYSICALLY COERCIVE,
THEN HIS CASE HAS NOTHING TO DO
WITH WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY AND
HE SHOULD EXPECT THE APPROPRIATE
AND SEVERE PUNISHMENT.
BUT IN GENERAL, IT'S LONG
OVERDUE THAT AMERICA HAD AN
ADULT REVIEW OF OUR WAR ON
OFFICE ROMANCE.
THERE'S ONLY A FEW PLACES WHERE
AMERICANS MEET EACH OTHER
ANYMORE: WORK, BARS, CHURCH AND
ADAM LEVINE'S HOUSE.
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
IN THE UDOKA CASE, THE WIDELY
REPORTED DESCRIPTION OF IT HAS
BEEN "IMPROPER, INTIMATE AND
CONSENSUAL."
OKAY, INTIMATE AND CONSENSUAL?
I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE READING
ABOUT IT.
WHAT PEOPLE DO THAT IS INTIMATE
AND CONSENSUAL IS NOT MY
BUSINESS, NOT YOURS, AND NOT
THAT FUCKING LITTLE LEPRECHAUN.
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
IMPROPER, ON THE OTHER HAND,
PROBABLY REFERS TO A "POWER
IMBALANCE" BETWEEN THE TWO
SETTING, A POWER IMBALANCE CANCE
BE ABUSED AND IS A REAL THING TO
WATCH OUT FOR IF IT INVOLVES
COERCION, OR PROMOTING SOMEONE
WHO DOESN'T DESERVE IT BECAUSE
THEY'RE BLOWING YOU.
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
BUT TO DENY TWO HUMANS ANXIOUS
FOR EACH OTHER THE CHANCE TO
FIND LOVE IN THE SAME OFFICE IS
A BIT ANACHRONISTIC, AS MOST
BUSINESSES NOW HAVE SERIOUS
PROTOCOLS IN PLACE WHERE
EMPLOYEES CAN REPORT AND GET
RELIEF FROM BEING HARASSED.
THIS IS NO LONGER THE "MAD MEN"
DAYS WHERE THERE WAS NO H.R., NO
YEARLY MANDATORY SEXUAL
HARASSMENT SEMINARS, AND THE
#METOO MOVEMENT HADN'T HAPPENED.
TIMES HAVE CHANGED.
AND YRLY A QUARTER OF
EMPLOYERS REQUIRE ALL EMPLOYEE
RELATIONSHIPS OF ANY KIND TO BE
DISCLOSED.
REALLY?
GOD FORBID GROWNUPS START MAKING
DECISIONS ABOUT THEIR OWN BODIES
WIOUT GETTING CORPORATE
INVOLVED.
[LAUGHTER]
AND WHEN IT COMES TO MANAGERS
AND SUBORDINATES, THE MAJORITY
OF COMPANIES DON'T ALLOW ANY
RELATIONSHIP AT ALL.
BUT LOVE, AND WHERE IT MIGHT
HAPPEN, IS THE LAST MYSTERY.
IT'S SERENDIPITY.
ALSO WHEN YOU'RE FUCKING SOMEONE
AT THE OFFICE, YOU KNOW THEY CAN
HOLD DOWN A JOB.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
UNDER CURRENT GUIDELINES.
MICHELE ROBINSON COULD NEVER
HAVE DATED BARACK OBAMA, WHO WAS
A SUMMER ASSOCIATE AT HER LAW
FIRM WHEN THEY MET.
SHE WAS LITERALLY FUCKING THE
INTERN.
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
WASN'T THERE A POWER IMBALANCE
WHEN JOE SCARBOROUGH STARTED
DATING MIKA BRZEZINSKY?
I'D HAVE TO SAY YES, SINCE THE
NAME OF THE SHOW WAS "MORNING
JOE -- NOT MORNING JOE AND MIKA
-- ALTHOUGH NOW THAT THEY'RE
MARRIED I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED
IF THAT'S NEXT.
[LAUGHTER]
IN 2019 THE CEO OF MCDONALDS HAD
TO STEP DOWN AFTER IT WAS
DISCOVERED THAT HE WAS HAVING A
CONSENSUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH AN
EMPLOYEE -- I KNOW, GROSS -- WHO
WOULD DATE SOMEONE WHO WORKS AT
MCDONALD'S?
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
I REMEMBER READING THE ARTICLE
ABOUT THIS "SCANDAL' AND
WONDERING WHERE THE SCANDAL WAS:
THERE WAS NO HARASSMENT, NO
OFF-COLOR TEXTS, NO DICK-RUBBING
AGAINST UNDERLINGS.
[LAUGHTER]
WE ALL KNOW THAT "NO" DOESN'T
MEAN "YES" -- BUT NOW "YES"
DOESN'T MEAN "YES"?
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BODY, MY
CHOICE?
SAME THING HAPPENED TO THE CEO
OF PRICELINE, FORCED OUT BECAUSE
HE HAD A RELATIONSHIP WITH AN
EMPLOYEE.
BUT C'MON, IT'S HARD NOT TO HAVE
AN AFFAIR OR TWO WHEN YOU'RE
GETTING SUCH A BARGAIN ON HOTEL
ROOMS.
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
BUT THIS IS HOW SEX WORKS NOW.
THE RULE IS, IF I WANT TO HAVE
SEX WITH ANOTHER WILLING ADULT,
BUT WE BOTH WORK FOR HYUNDAI, WE
NEED PERMISSION FROM HYUNDAI.
[LAUGHTER]
AND WE JUST ACCEPT THAT.
LIKE TAKING OUR SHOES OFF AT THE
AIRPORT.
EARLIER THIS YEAR JEFF ZUCKER
WAS FORCED TO RESIGN AS
PRESIDENT OF CNN AFTER HE
ADMITTED HE KILLS HOOKERS IN A
VAN.
[LAUGHTER]
WAIT, NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT
HAPPENED -- HE HAD CONSENSUAL
SEX WITH A 49-YEAR-OLD CNN
EXECUTIVE, WHO DIDN'T COMPLAIN
THEN AND DOESN'T NOW.
SHE SAID THEY WERE IN "A
RELATIONSHIP."
SURE.
LIKE A 49-YEAR OLD EXECUTIVE
KNOWS BETTER THAN WE DO ABOUT
WHETHER OR NOT SHE'S A VICTIM.
WHO ARE WE PROTECTING HERE?
[LAUGHTER]
EXACTLY WHO AT CNN WOULD HAVE
BEEN TRAUMATIZED BY THIS
UNAUTHORIZED BONING THE WAR
CORRESPONDENTS?
[LAUGHTER]
THIS COUPLE HAS BEEN IN THE NEWS
A LOT LATELY -- WHY AREN'T WE
FREAKING OUT ABOUT A DIRECTOR
DATING ONE OF HER CAST MEMBERS?
POWER IMBALANCE?
ON A MOVIE SET, THE DIRECTOR IS
GOD.
BUT SOMETIMES PEOPLE FALL IN
LOVE WITH GOD; IT'S A VERY
ATTRACTIVE POSITION.
[LAUGHTER]
WHO ARE WE TO TELL OTHER PEOPLE
THEY CAN'T HAVE LOVE BECAUSE
WHEN THEY MET THEY WEREN'T
EXACTLY CO EQUAL?
PEOPLE ARE NOT ALWAYS ATTRACTED
TO THEIR CO-EQUAL -- WE'RE NOT
ROBOTS.
WHAT WE ARE, APPARENTLY, IS
LONELY; THERE IS A LONELINESS
EPIDEMIC OUT THERE, IT'S WIDELY
REPORTED.
A MORNING CONSULT POLL FOUND
THAT ALMOST FOUR OUT OF FIVE
YOUNG ADULTS CONSIDER THEMSELVES
LONELY, AND HAVE TROUBLE FORMING
RELATIONSHIPS OUTSIDE OF THEIR
HOME, AND THAT CERTAINLY SEEMS
THE CASE IN THE INCEST PORN I
WATCH.
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
IF LONELINESS IS DESTROYING OUR
HEALTH CAUSING DEPRESSION,
ANXIETY, LOW SELF ESTEEM AND
SHORTENED LIFE EXPECTANCY, IT'S
JUST NOT HELPFUL TO BE
CRIMINALIZING THE POOL OF
ELIGIBLE MATES THAT IS THE
WORKPLACE.DOES ANYONE REALLY THT
SWIPING RIGHT ON SOME RANDO
BECAUSE HE HAS NICE HAIR AND
POSING IN FRONT OF A DODGE
CHALLENGER IS A BETTER WAY TO
MEET SOMEONE THAN AT THE OFFICE?
[LAUGHTER]
AND NOT FOR NOTHING, WHEN UDOKA
WAS FIRED, THEY REPLACED HIM
WITH A GUY WHO WAS ONCE ARR
ON CHARGES OF DOMESTIC BATTERY.
BUT IT'S OKAY, BECAUSE THEY
DIDN'T WORK TOGETHER.
OKAY, THAT'S OUR SHOW.
I'LL BE AT THE FOX THEATRE IN
DETROIT, OCTOBER 8TH, AT THE
HULU THEATRE IN NEW YORK CITY,
NOVEMBER 12, AT THE MAUI ARTS &
CULTURAL CENTER, DECEMBER 30TH
AND AT THE WAIKIKI SHELL IN
HONOLULU ON NEW YEAR'S EVE.
I WANT TO THANK MY GUESTS VAN
JONES, CAITLIN FLANAGAN AND
MASIH ALINEJAD.
NOW GO TO YOUTUBE AND JOIN US ON
OVERTIME.
THANK YOU!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]