1 00:00:10,543 --> 00:00:11,911 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:11,978 --> 00:00:17,183 >> START THE CLOCK. 3 00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:33,767 ♪ ♪ 4 00:00:33,833 --> 00:00:37,570 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 5 00:00:37,637 --> 00:00:39,305 >> Bill: THANK YOU, PEOPLE, 6 00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:40,974 HOW ARE YOU A QUESTION MARK 7 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:41,641 THANK YOU VERY MUCH, I 8 00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:46,546 APPRECIATE IT. 9 00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:47,747 ALT! 10 00:00:47,814 --> 00:00:48,648 HERE WE ARE FOR THE LAST SHOW OF 11 00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:53,720 THE SEASON. 12 00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:56,222 THANK YOU, I APPRECIATE IT. 13 00:00:56,289 --> 00:01:01,060 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 14 00:01:01,127 --> 00:01:06,332 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 15 00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:07,834 THANK YOU, IT IS OUR LAST SHO 16 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,202 OF THE SEASON, I'M GOING TO MISS 17 00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:11,504 YOU A LOT BUT I FEEL LIKE WE ARE 18 00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:16,176 LEAVING ON A HIGH NOTE BECAUSE 19 00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:17,243 DEMOCRACY SURVIVED -- 20 00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:20,380 >> IS HUMILIATED. 21 00:01:20,447 --> 00:01:23,550 PUTIN IS GETTING HIS ASS KICKED, 22 00:01:23,616 --> 00:01:29,155 HALL HOLIDAY MOVIE CALLED OF 23 00:01:29,222 --> 00:01:34,527 "THE CHRISTMAS SURPRISE." 24 00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:35,695 ALSO GOOD NEWS WE WERE GOING TO 25 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,096 HAVE WORLD WAR III AND NOW WE 26 00:01:37,163 --> 00:01:44,671 ARE NOT, SOT'S GOOD TO. 27 00:01:44,737 --> 00:01:46,339 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 28 00:01:46,406 --> 00:01:48,274 A MISSILE UKRAINIAN ENDED 29 00:01:48,341 --> 00:01:50,510 IN IN POLAND, EVERYONE WAS LIKE 30 00:01:50,577 --> 00:01:53,079 IS THIS GOING TO ESCALATE INTO 31 00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:54,948 WORLD WAR III, FORTUNATELY BIDEN 32 00:01:55,014 --> 00:01:56,015 GOT ON THE PHONE WITH BOTH 33 00:01:56,082 --> 00:01:57,717 PARTIES, NOTHING IS GOING TO 34 00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:00,854 HAPPEN NOW AND THAT IS TONIGHT'S 35 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:03,823 EPISODE OF THANK GOD TRUMP ISN'T 36 00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:06,693 PRESIDENT. 37 00:02:06,759 --> 00:02:10,497 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 38 00:02:10,563 --> 00:02:12,198 THAT'S NOT GOING TO STOP HIM 39 00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:13,900 FROM TRYING AGAIN, HE MADE HIS 40 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,168 BIG ANNOUNCEMENT -- NOT THAT 41 00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:17,537 DID YOU SEE THAT HE ANNOUNCED 42 00:02:17,604 --> 00:02:19,072 HE'S RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT? 43 00:02:19,138 --> 00:02:21,941 VERY LOW-KEY, LOW ENERGY. 44 00:02:22,008 --> 00:02:24,143 [LAUGHTER] 45 00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:26,746 SAD -- DID YOU SEE HIM? 46 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,081 HE LOOKED LIKE A GIGOLO ON HIS 47 00:02:28,147 --> 00:02:36,089 TENTH CALL OF THE DAY. 48 00:02:36,155 --> 00:02:38,324 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 49 00:02:38,391 --> 00:02:40,026 THERE WERE SIX AMERICAN FLAGS 50 00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:41,261 BEHIND HIM, HE DIDN'T PUMP ANY 51 00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:47,066 OF THEM. 52 00:02:47,133 --> 00:02:51,938 HE'S SO 2,000 LATE -- 53 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,006 YESTERDAY'S NEWS. 54 00:02:53,072 --> 00:02:56,509 IT WAS LIKE WATCHING AT&T 55 00:02:56,576 --> 00:03:00,680 ANNOUNCE A NEW LANDL 56 00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:04,284 [LAUGHTER] 57 00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:05,118 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 58 00:03:05,184 --> 00:03:09,255 THEY DON'T OWN US ANYMORE, RIGH 59 00:03:09,322 --> 00:03:10,523 RIGHT? 60 00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:13,993 OF COURSE HE HAD TO GO THROUGH 61 00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:15,862 HIS GREATEST HITS ABOUT AMERICAN 62 00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:18,164 CARNAGE, HE SAID OUR CITIES ARE 63 00:03:18,231 --> 00:03:21,234 ROTTING, THEY ARE CESSPOOLS OF 64 00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:23,102 BLOOD. 65 00:03:23,169 --> 00:03:24,904 AND HALF OF AFRICA WAS LIKE AND 66 00:03:24,971 --> 00:03:32,545 WE ARE THE SHIT COUNTRIES? 67 00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:33,012 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 68 00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:36,983 COUNTING SOME PLACES BUT STILL 69 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:39,085 BASICALLY THE DEMOCRATS KEPT THE 70 00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:39,986 SENATE, THE REPUBLICANS WON THE 71 00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:41,254 HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES THERE 72 00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:43,690 WILL BE A NEW SPEAKER, 73 00:03:43,756 --> 00:03:45,191 NANCY PELOSI IS STEPPING 74 00:03:45,258 --> 00:03:46,159 ASIDE -- KEVIN McCARTHY FROM 75 00:03:46,225 --> 00:03:47,160 RIGHT HERE IN CALIFORNIA WILL BE 76 00:03:47,226 --> 00:03:49,262 THE NEW SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE, 77 00:03:49,329 --> 00:03:53,266 KEVIN McCARTHY. 78 00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:53,666 [LAUGHTER] 79 00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,902 A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO HE SAID I 80 00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:56,736 WANT YOU TO WATCH WHEN 81 00:03:56,803 --> 00:03:58,204 NANCY PELOSI HANDS ME THE GAVEL, 82 00:03:58,271 --> 00:04:00,974 IT WILL BE HARD NOT TO HIT HER 83 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:03,776 WITH IT. 84 00:04:03,843 --> 00:04:06,012 HE SAID THAT -- IT'S JUST A 85 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:06,713 JOKE, NOBODY THINKS SOMEONE 86 00:04:06,779 --> 00:04:08,848 WOULD REALLY GO TO A PELOSI 87 00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:11,584 FAMILY MEMBER AND HIT THEM WITH 88 00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:14,053 A HAMMER. 89 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:19,092 [CHEERS APPLAUSE] 90 00:04:19,158 --> 00:04:20,093 BUT THAT'S POLITICS! 91 00:04:20,159 --> 00:04:21,728 THAT'S NOT WHAT AMERICA CARES 92 00:04:21,794 --> 00:04:23,262 ABOUT, ALL THAT AMERICA CARES 93 00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:24,097 ABOUT IS THEY CAN'T GET 94 00:04:24,163 --> 00:04:27,634 TAYLOR SWIFT TICKETS. 95 00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:29,802 AND TWITTER IS IN CHAOS AND 96 00:04:29,869 --> 00:04:30,536 CRYPTO IS A TANKING WHICH I 97 00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:34,340 THINK IS FANTASTIC ECHO I HAVE 98 00:04:34,407 --> 00:04:39,946 NEVER BEEN A CRYPTO FAN. 99 00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:41,481 MILLIONS OF PEOPLE HAVE LOST 100 00:04:41,547 --> 00:04:42,081 MILLIONS OF DOLLARS ON CRYPTO 101 00:04:42,148 --> 00:04:43,282 AND A LOT OF THEM ARE BLAMING 102 00:04:43,349 --> 00:04:46,119 CELEBRITIES WHO HYPED IT. 103 00:04:46,185 --> 00:04:47,687 NOW WHEN MARRIED PEOPLE ARE 104 00:04:47,754 --> 00:04:49,689 VING SEX THEY'RE BOTH THINKING 105 00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:52,225 ABOUT GETTING SCREWED BY MATT 106 00:04:52,291 --> 00:04:55,261 DAMON. 107 00:04:55,328 --> 00:04:59,966 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 108 00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:06,139 TWITTER -- I TELL YOU. 109 00:05:06,205 --> 00:05:08,741 ELON MUSK TOOK OVER, HE FIRED 110 00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,309 LIKE HALF THE PEOPLE, GET OUT OF 111 00:05:10,376 --> 00:05:12,945 YOUR PODS AND GO HOME, I LOVE I 112 00:05:13,012 --> 00:05:13,413 IT. 113 00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:15,314 THAN THE PEOPLE WHO ARE 114 00:05:15,381 --> 00:05:16,315 REMAINING HE SAID EITHER RESIGN 115 00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:18,551 OR I WANT YOU TO GIVE AN 116 00:05:18,618 --> 00:05:19,686 EXCEPTIONAL PERFORMANCE AND THIS 117 00:05:19,752 --> 00:05:21,988 IS VERY CONFUSING TO THE 118 00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:22,889 MILLENNIALS. 119 00:05:22,955 --> 00:05:25,491 THEY ARE LIKE MY PARENTS TOLD ME 120 00:05:25,558 --> 00:05:26,693 EXCEPTIONAL MEANT EXISTING, WHAT 121 00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:32,498 THE FUCK IS THIS? 122 00:05:32,565 --> 00:05:33,566 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 123 00:05:33,633 --> 00:05:37,103 D THE MEDIA, THEY ARE 124 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,138 PANICKING, THEY ARE LIKE IT'S 125 00:05:39,205 --> 00:05:41,507 FALLING APART -- HOW CAN IT FALL 126 00:05:41,574 --> 00:05:43,009 APART, IT'S A WEBSITE, NOT A 127 00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:44,844 CONDO IN MIAMI. 128 00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:50,917 BY THE WAY, THREE QUARTERS OF 129 00:05:50,983 --> 00:05:52,118 THE PEOPLE ARE GONE, IT'S STI 130 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,953 UP AND RUNNING, I CHECKED IT AN 131 00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,621 HOUR AGO, THERE WERE FIVE PEOPLE 132 00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:57,724 TELLING ME TO KILL MYSELF, IT'S 133 00:05:57,790 --> 00:06:03,629 IT'S THE SAME AS IT EVER WAS. 134 00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:05,565 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 135 00:06:05,631 --> 00:06:07,467 MAY BE THE BIGGEST STORY IN TECH 136 00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:10,636 LLIONAIRE NEWS, JEFF BEZOS 137 00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:11,204 JEFF BEZOS, BIG ANNOUNCEMENT 138 00:06:11,270 --> 00:06:11,938 THIS WEEK, MUCH BIGGER THAN 139 00:06:12,004 --> 00:06:13,272 TRUMP, HE SAID HE'S GOING TO 140 00:06:13,339 --> 00:06:14,807 GIVE AWAY MOST OF HIS FORTUNE 141 00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:18,344 DURING HIS LIFETIME. 142 00:06:18,411 --> 00:06:18,811 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 143 00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:22,248 COME O! 144 00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:24,650 IT'S NOT CLEAR WHETHER THAT IS A 145 00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:25,718 CHARITY THING OR WHETHER HE'S 146 00:06:25,785 --> 00:06:28,354 PLANNING TO AND DIVORCE 147 00:06:28,421 --> 00:06:29,756 AGAIN. 148 00:06:29,822 --> 00:06:34,827 WE GOT A GREAT SHOW, LAURA 149 00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:35,495 LAURA COATES AND JONATHAN HAIDT 150 00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:36,195 ARE HERE, BUT FIRST. HE'S AN 151 00:06:36,262 --> 00:06:36,929 ACTOR AND PLAYWRIGHT, AND NOW 152 00:06:36,996 --> 00:06:37,597 AUTHOR OF THE NY TIMES #T 153 00:06:37,663 --> 00:06:38,464 SELLER, "FRIENDS, LOVERS, AND 154 00:06:38,531 --> 00:06:39,398 THTERRIBLE THING": MATTHEW 155 00:06:39,465 --> 00:06:46,072 PERRY. 156 00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:47,774 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 157 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:50,810 HOW ARE YOU? 158 00:06:50,877 --> 00:06:52,478 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 159 00:06:52,545 --> 00:06:57,917 LOOK AT THAT. 160 00:06:57,984 --> 00:07:00,153 THEY STILL LOVE Y AS THEY 161 00:07:00,219 --> 00:07:01,721 SHOULD, CONGRATULATIONS I HEARD 162 00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:04,223 YOU BROKE AMAZON, YOUR BOOK SOLD 163 00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:05,224 SO MANY COPIES THAT THEY 164 00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:07,059 COULDN'T HANDLE IT, YOU ARE LIKE 165 00:07:07,126 --> 00:07:09,729 THE TAYLOR SWIFT OF A WRITING. 166 00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:10,263 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 167 00:07:10,329 --> 00:07:13,099 >> IT SEEMS LIKE I AM, ON THE 168 00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:14,300 HEAD OF THE AMAZING THING IS THE 169 00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:19,605 FIRST THING I WANT TO SAY IS I 170 00:07:19,672 --> 00:07:22,775 BEAT BONO IN IRELAND. 171 00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:23,242 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 172 00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:26,045 THAT'S WEIRD. 173 00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,713 >> Bill: IT'S A COMPELLING 174 00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:30,416 BOOK, I COULD NOT PUT IT DOWN. 175 00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:31,884 I FEEL LIKE ONE OF THE BIG 176 00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:33,186 TAKEAWAYS OF THE BOOK I 177 00:07:33,252 --> 00:07:36,989 LIKE A DRUG [CHEERS AND 178 00:07:37,056 --> 00:07:38,491 APPLAUSE] 179 00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:38,791 I GOT THAT. 180 00:07:38,858 --> 00:07:40,827 >> I THINK THAT'S FAIR TO SAY, 181 00:07:40,893 --> 00:07:41,928 THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU READ THE 182 00:07:41,994 --> 00:07:45,631 WHOLE BOOK. 183 00:07:45,698 --> 00:07:49,702 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 184 00:07:49,769 --> 00:07:50,903 >> Bill: I NOTICED THE THEME 185 00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:52,872 BEFORE WE GET TOO FAR I JUST 186 00:07:52,939 --> 00:07:54,407 WANT TO SAY YOU LOOK FANTASTIC, 187 00:07:54,473 --> 00:07:58,144 SO IT'S AMAZING TO I'M SO 188 00:07:58,211 --> 00:07:59,212 GLAD YOU ARE HERE PLUGGING A 189 00:07:59,278 --> 00:08:04,050 BOOK BECAUSE A LOT OF PEOPLE, A 190 00:08:04,116 --> 00:08:06,118 LOT OF PEOPLE DID HAVE YOU IN 191 00:08:06,185 --> 00:08:06,853 THE DEADPOOL. 192 00:08:06,919 --> 00:08:10,156 MAYBE YOU. 193 00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:12,091 >> YEAH, I HAD A HORRIBLE 194 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:15,661 ACCIDENT ABOUT SEVEN YEARS AGO, 195 00:08:15,728 --> 00:08:19,465 I WAS GIVEN A 2% CHANCE TO 196 00:08:19,532 --> 00:08:20,466 SURVIVE, THEY DIDN'T TELL ME 197 00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:22,869 THAT BECAUSE I WASN'T REALLY 198 00:08:22,935 --> 00:08:25,271 THERE BUT THEY TOLD MY FAMILY. 199 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:28,674 I WAS PUT ON A THLLED A 200 00:08:28,741 --> 00:08:29,775 ECMO MACHINE IF YOU HAVEN'T READ 201 00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:30,977 THE BOOK YOU WOULD KNOW WHAT 202 00:08:31,043 --> 00:08:32,478 THAT IS BUT. 203 00:08:32,545 --> 00:08:34,547 >>> Bill: I DID I TOOK 204 00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:35,815 NOTES I UNDERLINED. 205 00:08:35,882 --> 00:08:39,018 >> I BELIEVE YOU! 206 00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:39,585 THEY CALL THAT A HAIL MARY, 207 00:08:39,652 --> 00:08:41,854 THAT'S WHAT THEY DO WHEN THEY 208 00:08:41,921 --> 00:08:42,788 PUT YOU ON THE MACHINE WHEN IT'S 209 00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:45,791 A HAIL MARY. 210 00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:47,226 AND FIVE PEOPLE WERE ON THAT 211 00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:48,427 NIGHT AND THE OTHER FOUR DIED 212 00:08:48,494 --> 00:08:52,365 AND I SOMEHOW MADE IT 213 00:08:52,431 --> 00:08:54,934 >> Bill: GOD IS A FAN. 214 00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:59,639 >> I KNOW YOUR FEELING ABOUT 215 00:08:59,705 --> 00:08:59,839 THAT. 216 00:08:59,906 --> 00:09:04,010 >> I'M A FAN, MAYBE I AM -- 217 00:09:04,076 --> 00:09:09,181 >> ONCE YOU REFER TO IT AS A 218 00:09:09,248 --> 00:09:09,749 FORCE AND I BELIEVE THAT, I 219 00:09:09,815 --> 00:09:14,520 BELIEVE IN A HIGHER POWER, I 220 00:09:14,587 --> 00:09:15,688 BELIEVE I HAVE A VERY CLOSE 221 00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:16,255 RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM IT'S 222 00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:17,023 HELPED ME A LOT. 223 00:09:17,089 --> 00:09:18,057 >> Bill: SOMEBODY IS ON YOUR 224 00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:20,393 SIDE TO. 225 00:09:20,459 --> 00:09:22,061 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 226 00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:23,162 EVERYBODY IS ON YOUR SIDE, 227 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,097 EVERYBODY IS GLAD YOU ARE HERE. 228 00:09:25,164 --> 00:09:26,732 I MUST SAY THE HUMAN BODY -- 229 00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:29,235 READING THE BOOK AND I DID, IT'S 230 00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:35,675 AMAZING TO ME THE P -- SO 231 00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:37,209 FRAGILE AND ALSO SO RESILIENT 232 00:09:37,276 --> 00:09:37,376 TO. 233 00:09:37,443 --> 00:09:41,213 IT'S EASY TO DIE AND ALSO IT'S 234 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,015 KIND OF HARD, WHAT YOUROVED, 235 00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:44,016 IT'S KIND OF HARD TO DIE. 236 00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:46,018 >> IT CAN BE. 237 00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:48,587 >> YOU TRIED TO. 238 00:09:48,654 --> 00:09:52,725 >> I NEVER TRIED, I DID SO MANY 239 00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:53,526 S AT CERTAIN TIMES THAT I 240 00:09:53,592 --> 00:09:57,063 KNEW IT COULD KILL ME BUT I 241 00:09:57,129 --> 00:10:00,833 NEVER WANTED TO DIE. 242 00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:02,201 THE THING FOR ME AND THE 243 00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,804 TROUBLES I HAVE HAD IS THAT 244 00:10:04,870 --> 00:10:11,911 REALITY IS AN ACQUIRED TASTE. B. 245 00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:14,680 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 246 00:10:14,747 --> 00:10:16,082 I HAVE HAD A GREAT DEAL OF TIME 247 00:10:16,148 --> 00:10:18,751 AND A GREAT DEAL OF PROBLEMS 248 00:10:18,818 --> 00:10:20,786 ACQUIRING IT. 249 00:10:20,853 --> 00:10:28,294 IT W UNTIL I FELTLLY 250 00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:29,996 SAFE IN MY SOBRIETY AND STRONG 251 00:10:30,062 --> 00:10:31,497 IN MY SOBRIETY AND TO TELL YOU 252 00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:33,799 THE TRUTH I AM RESILIENT AND I 253 00:10:33,866 --> 00:10:35,167 AM STRONG. 254 00:10:35,234 --> 00:10:37,670 >> Bill: AND YOU LOOK HEALTHY. 255 00:10:37,737 --> 00:10:39,538 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 256 00:10:39,605 --> 00:10:40,106 IT'S AMAZING. 257 00:10:40,172 --> 00:10:42,074 I FEEL VERY LUCKY THAT I'M 258 00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:42,908 SOMEONE WHO COULD DO DRUGS AND 259 00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:47,246 STILL DOES DRUGS. 260 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,048 >> YOU DON'T HAVE ANY ON YOU, DO 261 00:10:49,115 --> 00:10:51,484 YOU? 262 00:10:51,550 --> 00:10:52,385 [LAUGHTER] 263 00:10:52,451 --> 00:10:53,686 >> Bill: IT DOESN'T AFFECT ME 264 00:10:53,753 --> 00:10:56,689 IN THAT WAY BUT YOUR STATS, 265 00:10:56,756 --> 00:10:58,357 UNBELIEVABLE. 266 00:10:58,424 --> 00:11:02,328 6,000 AA MEETINGS, TOOK 55 267 00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:03,596 VICODIN'S A DAY, THIS IS LIKE A 268 00:11:03,662 --> 00:11:05,698 JOE DiMAGGIO WITH THE 56 GAME 269 00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:06,298 HITTING STREAK NO ONE IS GOING 270 00:11:06,365 --> 00:11:07,833 TO COME UP WITH THESE STATS NO 271 00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:09,235 ONE IS GOING TO BEAT YOU ON SOME 272 00:11:09,301 --> 00:11:09,769 OF THIS STUFF. 273 00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:12,471 >> SOME OF THE THINGS I WENT 274 00:11:12,538 --> 00:11:14,140 THROUGH TO GET THAT MANY PILLS A 275 00:11:14,206 --> 00:11:16,809 DAY MY WHOLE LIFE WAS MATH. 276 00:11:16,876 --> 00:11:17,410 YOU KNOW THE STORY -- 277 00:11:17,476 --> 00:11:19,078 >> Bill: THE OPEN HOU, CAN 278 00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:21,447 WE TALK AB THI 279 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:24,517 I REMEMBER THE DAVID BOWIE S 280 00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:27,686 WAITING FOR THE MAN. 281 00:11:27,753 --> 00:11:29,321 WHEN I FIRST LEARNED THE CON 282 00:11:29,388 --> 00:11:31,490 OF WHAT ADDICTION WAS FROM THAT 283 00:11:31,557 --> 00:11:31,690 SONG. 284 00:11:31,757 --> 00:11:33,926 THIS IS THIS BIG ROCK STAR BUT 285 00:11:33,993 --> 00:11:36,629 HE'S WAITING FOR THE MAN -- 286 00:11:36,695 --> 00:11:37,596 KEITH RICHARDS SAID IT DOESN'T 287 00:11:37,663 --> 00:11:38,664 MATTER HOW BIGOU ARE, HOW 288 00:11:38,731 --> 00:11:40,032 FAMOUS YOU ARE, THE DRUG DEALER, 289 00:11:40,099 --> 00:11:44,136 YOU ARE HIS BITCH. 290 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:45,905 YOU DIDN'T WAIT FOR THE MAN, YOU 291 00:11:45,971 --> 00:11:47,807 WANT TO OPEN HOUSES AND STOLE 292 00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:50,042 DRUGS FROM PEOPLE'S MEDICINE 293 00:11:50,109 --> 00:11:50,309 CABINETS. 294 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:55,214 SUCH A BETTER PLAN. 295 00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:55,481 [LAUGHTER] 296 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:59,885 >> RIGHT? 297 00:11:59,952 --> 00:12:00,252 [LAUGHTER] 298 00:12:00,319 --> 00:12:01,454 I WOULD LOOK IN THE PAPER AND 299 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:02,088 LOOK AT OPEN HOUSES ON SUNDAYS 300 00:12:02,154 --> 00:12:06,525 AND I WOULD GO AND I WOULD GO 301 00:12:06,592 --> 00:12:07,626 UPSTAIRS TO THE BATHROOM AND IF 302 00:12:07,693 --> 00:12:10,496 IT WAS AN ELDERLY COUPLE, I KNEW 303 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:13,165 I HIT HOME. 304 00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:14,633 [LAUGH 305 00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:15,868 AND THEN YOU LOOK AT THE DATES 306 00:12:15,935 --> 00:12:17,703 IT IF THE DES ARE OLD AND 307 00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:18,370 THERE'S STILL A LOT OF PILLS YOU 308 00:12:18,437 --> 00:12:23,008 CAN TAKE A LOT OF THEM. 309 00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:24,009 I'M TELLING YOU, IT'S A HORROR 310 00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:26,145 STORY AND I'M TELLING IT IN A 311 00:12:26,212 --> 00:12:28,848 FUNNY WAY BUT AS I DROVE OFF I 312 00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:30,382 WAS LIKE NOBODY IS GOING TO SAY 313 00:12:30,449 --> 00:12:36,522 CHANDLER JUST STOLE DRUGS OUT OF 314 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:37,456 MY MEDICINE CABINET? 315 00:12:37,523 --> 00:12:39,859 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 316 00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:40,960 >> Bill: WHAT KIND OF DRUGS 317 00:12:41,026 --> 00:12:44,263 WERE YOU LOOKING FOR THAT THEY 318 00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:44,563 WOULD HAVE? 319 00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:47,066 >> I W OPIATE GUY, SO ANY 320 00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:48,000 KIND OF OPIATES WERE WHAT I 321 00:12:48,067 --> 00:12:50,269 WANTED TO. 322 00:12:50,336 --> 00:12:51,103 PEOPLD BE SURPRISED -- I 323 00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:56,408 HAVEN'T HAD A DRINK SINCE 2005. 324 00:12:56,475 --> 00:12:59,478 HEERS AND APPLAUSE] 325 00:12:59,545 --> 00:13:00,713 THAT'S BECAUSE IT STOPPED 326 00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:03,415 WORKING, I COULDN'T GET DRUNK 327 00:13:03,482 --> 00:13:04,316 ANYMORE. 328 00:13:04,383 --> 00:13:06,285 SO I TURNED IT UP AND WEN 329 00:13:06,352 --> 00:13:07,419 SOMETHING I COULD FEEL. 330 00:13:07,486 --> 00:13:13,159 >> Bill: YOU DO SAY AFTER YOUR 331 00:13:13,225 --> 00:13:14,894 COLON PROBLEM, YOUR COLON 332 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:15,394 EXPLODED, RIGHT? 333 00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:17,096 AND YOU'RE IN THE HOSPITAL FOR 334 00:13:17,163 --> 00:13:20,132 FIVE MONTHS, EVEN AFTER THAT HE 335 00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:21,867 WANTED. 336 00:13:21,934 --> 00:13:22,935 TO COME OUT OFN EXPERIENCE 337 00:13:23,002 --> 00:13:25,204 LIKE THAT IF ANYONE DOESN'T 338 00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:26,071 UNDERSTAND HOW STRONG ADDICTION 339 00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:27,973 IS, I THINK THAT SAYS IT ALL YOU 340 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:29,675 WOULD SPEND FIVE MONTHS IN THE 341 00:13:29,742 --> 00:13:32,344 HOSPITAL, LOSE YOUR COLON AND 342 00:13:32,411 --> 00:13:33,612 DISTILL FIRST THING OUT OF THE 343 00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:37,449 HOSPITAL IS LET'S GET HIGH. 344 00:13:37,516 --> 00:13:40,686 >> IT HAPPENED IN THE HOSPITAL, 345 00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:41,687 I WAS TOLD OPIATES HAD DONE THIS 346 00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:46,492 TO ME AND I LITERALLY SAID I 347 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:49,328 WOULD LIKE TO SOLVE THIS PROBLE 348 00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:50,663 PROBLEM. 349 00:13:50,729 --> 00:13:52,698 AND GOT THEM AND GOT HOME, I WAS 350 00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:54,500 ON A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF OPIATES I 351 00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:57,136 WAS LYING ABOUT HOW MUCH PAIN I 352 00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:58,370 WAS IN AND IT DIDN'T BECOME 353 00:13:58,437 --> 00:14:00,639 ENOUGH AND THEY SAID NO, YOU 354 00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:01,507 CAN'T HAVE ANY MORE, THE 355 00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:04,510 DRUG DEALER SAID YES. 356 00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:06,478 AND I HAPPEN TO LIVE ON THE 40TH 357 00:14:06,545 --> 00:14:08,314 FLOOR OF A BUILDING I HAD TO GO 358 00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:09,215 DOWN 40 FLOORS AND MEET THE GUY 359 00:14:09,281 --> 00:14:12,051 ON THE STREET AND COME BACK UP 360 00:14:12,117 --> 00:14:13,552 AND I HAD A NURSE, A SOBER 361 00:14:13,619 --> 00:14:14,520 COMPANION AND THEY CAUGHT ME 362 00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:15,888 EVERY TIME I DID THIS. 363 00:14:15,955 --> 00:14:17,156 LITERALLY EVERY TIME THEY WERE 364 00:14:17,223 --> 00:14:18,457 LIKE GIVE US THE DRUGS THAT YOU 365 00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:21,794 JUST GOT AND I HAD TO GO TO A 366 00:14:21,860 --> 00:14:24,697 REHAB -- THE THING IS WHEN YOU 367 00:14:24,763 --> 00:14:26,065 HAVE THE HEART ATTACK AND I 368 00:14:26,131 --> 00:14:26,832 SPOKE TOO MANY PEOPLE ABOUT 369 00:14:26,899 --> 00:14:29,501 THIS, WHEN YOU HAVE A 370 00:14:29,568 --> 00:14:31,704 HEART ATTACK OR SOME HORRIBLE 371 00:14:31,770 --> 00:14:32,972 DEATH-DEFYING ACCIDENT YOU WOULD 372 00:14:33,038 --> 00:14:34,974 THINK YOU WOULD BE FILLED WITH 373 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:42,414 ITUDE BUT YOU ARE PISSED, 374 00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:43,482 YOU'RE ANGRY AT THE THINGS YOU 375 00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,084 HAVE TO DO TO GET BACK TO WHERE 376 00:14:45,150 --> 00:14:45,918 YOU NORMALLY WORK, YOU'RE NOT 377 00:14:45,985 --> 00:14:48,287 FILLED WITH GRATITUDE. 378 00:14:48,354 --> 00:14:50,122 YOU ARE LIKE I GOT TO BE HERE 379 00:14:50,189 --> 00:14:52,391 FOR FIVE MONTHS? 380 00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:53,292 THE THINGS INSIDE MY STOMACH ARE 381 00:14:53,359 --> 00:14:56,962 SO BROKEN UP THAT YOU CAN'T DO 382 00:14:57,029 --> 00:14:59,064 SURGERY FOR A YEAR AND A HALF? 383 00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:01,400 YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO HAVE A 384 00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:02,801 COLOSTOMY BAG -- I WILL LEAVE 385 00:15:02,868 --> 00:15:05,137 YOU WITH A COUPLE IF YOU WANT. 386 00:15:05,204 --> 00:15:07,606 >> Bill: DO YOU HAVE ONE NOW? 387 00:15:07,673 --> 00:15:07,906 >> NO. 388 00:15:07,973 --> 00:15:10,309 >> Bill: YOU HAD AT. 389 00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:12,645 >> YOU HAD IT REMOVED. 390 00:15:12,711 --> 00:15:15,447 >> Bill: YOUR COLON IS WORKING 391 00:15:15,514 --> 00:15:15,648 AGAIN. 392 00:15:15,714 --> 00:15:16,915 >> Bill: WE TALKED ABOU YOUR 393 00:15:16,982 --> 00:15:18,984 ASK HIM LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR 394 00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:19,451 DI 395 00:15:19,518 --> 00:15:22,087 >> SURE. 396 00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:24,189 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 397 00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:25,257 >> Bill: YOU SAY YOU STARTED 398 00:15:25,324 --> 00:15:26,458 IN HIGH SCHOOL DRINKING HEAVILY, 399 00:15:26,525 --> 00:15:29,061 YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE IN THE TENT 400 00:15:29,128 --> 00:15:30,095 IN HIGH SCHOOL, I COULDN'T KEEP 401 00:15:30,162 --> 00:15:32,231 DOWN IN HIGH SCHOOL. 402 00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:35,868 >> THAT'S KIND OF MEAN NOW. 403 00:15:35,934 --> 00:15:42,441 >> Bill: I'M SORRY. 404 00:15:42,508 --> 00:15:43,409 THE MAN BODY IS RESILIENT TO 405 00:15:43,475 --> 00:15:44,877 LOSS TO THE COL YOU GOT THAT 406 00:15:44,943 --> 00:15:47,813 BACK I'M SURE THE DICK IS ON THE 407 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:48,047 WAY. 408 00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:50,549 >> I'M NOT SURE IF YOU'REHITTINW 409 00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:52,017 WHAT THAT -- 410 00:15:52,084 --> 00:15:54,486 [LAUGHTER] 411 00:15:54,553 --> 00:15:55,187 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 412 00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:55,754 >> Bill: I'M NOT HITTING ON 413 00:15:55,821 --> 00:15:57,256 YOU BUT I AM GOING TO MAKE A 414 00:15:57,323 --> 00:15:58,324 PREDICTION ABOUT YOU. 415 00:15:58,390 --> 00:16:01,627 I THINK YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENTER A 416 00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:02,394 VERY, VERY PRODUCTIVE. 417 00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:05,798 BACK OF YOUR ACTING CAREER. 418 00:16:05,864 --> 00:16:07,466 WE KNOW YOU FROM THE PAST, WE 419 00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:12,504 LOVE TT, THE BIGGEST HIT STILL 420 00:16:12,571 --> 00:16:13,505 ON TELEVISION, FRIENDS. 421 00:16:13,572 --> 00:16:15,808 NOW YOU ARE THE MATURE GUY, 422 00:16:15,874 --> 00:16:16,408 YOU'RE AT THE AGE WERE ACTORS 423 00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:18,243 GET REALLY GREAT, THINK 424 00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:20,312 BECAUSE I HAVE HAD ALL THIS 425 00:16:20,379 --> 00:16:22,081 EXPERIENCE AND YOU'VE HAD ALL 426 00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:22,748 THIS PAIN WHICH IS BAD IN LIFE 427 00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:26,652 BUT GOOD IN ART. 428 00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:29,088 I SEE PEOPLE USING YOU IN THE 429 00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:29,621 NEXT 20 YEARS AND A LOT OF 430 00:16:29,688 --> 00:16:31,523 REALLY GREAT ROLES AND I THINK 431 00:16:31,590 --> 00:16:34,159 YOU'RE GOING TO DO SOME AMAZING 432 00:16:34,226 --> 00:16:37,996 WORK. 433 00:16:38,063 --> 00:16:39,898 >> A COUPLE OF GOOD FRIENDS OF 434 00:16:39,965 --> 00:16:41,900 MINE HAVE SAID YOU BEST WORK IS 435 00:16:41,967 --> 00:16:42,668 TO COME. 436 00:16:42,735 --> 00:16:44,203 >> Bill: I BELIEVE THAT 437 00:16:44,269 --> 00:16:44,970 BECAUSE YOU HAVE THIS EXPERIENCE 438 00:16:45,037 --> 00:16:47,673 THAT YOU CAN USE. 439 00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:49,508 IT'S NOT GOING TO BE CHANDLER, 440 00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:51,877 BUT IT'S GOING TO BE BETTER 441 00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:53,045 STUFF AND MORE MATURE STUFF. 442 00:16:53,112 --> 00:16:56,348 >> I'VE FOUND IN THE TALK SHOW 443 00:16:56,415 --> 00:17:01,520 TOUR I'VE BEEN ON, IT'S BEEN 444 00:17:01,587 --> 00:17:02,054 MU MORE ADULT. 445 00:17:02,121 --> 00:17:02,788 I USED TO COME ON THESE THINGS 446 00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:07,259 AND WRITE JOKES -- I'M SO 447 00:17:07,326 --> 00:17:08,861 AWKWARD AND THIS HASN'T BEEN 448 00:17:08,927 --> 00:17:09,161 THAT. 449 00:17:09,228 --> 00:17:11,697 I'VE BEEN QUIET HERE, I'VE 450 00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:12,264 WAITED TO THINK ABOUT WHAT I 451 00:17:12,331 --> 00:17:15,934 WANT TO SAY. 452 00:17:16,001 --> 00:17:17,236 >> Bill: AND HONEST, YOU'RE 453 00:17:17,302 --> 00:17:17,870 TELLING US EVERYTHING YOU'RE 454 00:17:17,936 --> 00:17:19,872 TELLING US MORE THAN MOST PEOPLE 455 00:17:19,938 --> 00:17:20,472 KNOW ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE AND 456 00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,174 YOU'RE DOING IT IN A WAY THAT 457 00:17:22,241 --> 00:17:23,275 HOPEFULLY WILL HELP SOME OTHER 458 00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:24,410 PEOPLE AND I THINK IT HAS. 459 00:17:24,476 --> 00:17:26,945 >> IT HAS HELPED ME. 460 00:17:27,012 --> 00:17:31,316 GETTING TO A POINT WHERE I WAS 461 00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:33,085 SAFE, YOU CAN'T GIVE AWAY WHAT 462 00:17:33,152 --> 00:17:33,852 N'T HAVE. 463 00:17:33,919 --> 00:17:36,255 IF I'M AFRAID I'M GOING TO USE 464 00:17:36,321 --> 00:17:37,256 IN THREE WEEKS I CAN'T START 465 00:17:37,322 --> 00:17:40,025 HELPING PEOPLE. 466 00:17:40,092 --> 00:17:42,261 >> Bill: DO YOU STILL FEEL THE 467 00:17:42,327 --> 00:17:42,461 URGE? 468 00:17:42,528 --> 00:17:45,631 >> NO, I DON'T. 469 00:17:45,697 --> 00:17:46,865 >> Bill: GOOD, THEN DON'T COME 470 00:17:46,932 --> 00:17:49,868 TO THE PARTY. 471 00:17:49,935 --> 00:17:50,669 GREAT TO SEE YOU, GLAD YOU ARE 472 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:53,605 HERE WITH US. 473 00:17:53,672 --> 00:17:56,909 LET'S MEET OUR PANEL! 474 00:17:56,975 --> 00:18:00,512 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 475 00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:01,146 HERE THEY ARE! 476 00:18:01,213 --> 00:18:01,847 SHE'NN ANCHOR AND HOST OF 477 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,515 SIRIUSXM LAURA COATES 478 00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:09,221 SHOW: LAURA COATES. 479 00:18:09,288 --> 00:18:10,689 BACK WITH US.PPLAUS 480 00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:12,624 HE'S A SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGIST AT 481 00:18:12,691 --> 00:18:13,225 NYU'S STERN SCHOOL OF BUSINESS 482 00:18:13,292 --> 00:18:13,992 AND CO-AUTHOR OF THE CODDLING OF 483 00:18:14,059 --> 00:18:15,093 THE AMERICAN MIND: HOW GOOD 484 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:16,595 INTENTIONS AND BAD IDEAS ARE 485 00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:18,030 SETTING UP A GENERATION FOR 486 00:18:18,096 --> 00:18:22,768 FAILURE: JONATHAN HAIDT. 487 00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:26,638 GREAT TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 488 00:18:26,705 --> 00:18:27,206 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 489 00:18:27,272 --> 00:18:30,008 BEFORE I GET INTO THE NEWS -- I 490 00:18:30,075 --> 00:18:32,544 WANT TO WELL WISH TO MY FRIEND 491 00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:33,912 JAY LENO, HAD AN ACCIDENT THIS 492 00:18:33,979 --> 00:18:37,216 WEEK BUT HE'S IRON AND I WANT TO 493 00:18:37,282 --> 00:18:41,620 SAY WE ARE THINKING ABOUT YOU. 494 00:18:41,687 --> 00:18:42,654 AS THEY SAY IN CABLE NEWS WE 495 00:18:42,721 --> 00:18:45,824 HAVE BREAKING NEWS! 496 00:18:45,891 --> 00:18:46,925 VERY EXCITING -- IT HAPPENS A 497 00:18:46,992 --> 00:18:48,293 LOT ON AST SHOW I DON'T 498 00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:51,296 KNOW WHY IT IS BUT FRIDAY 499 00:18:51,363 --> 00:18:51,897 AFTERNOON -- MERRICK GARLAND I 500 00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,565 GUESS HE DID THIS ON A FRIDAY 501 00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:55,300 BECAUSE HE WAS AFRAID -- I DON'T 502 00:18:55,367 --> 00:18:55,567 KNOW. 503 00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:57,436 IF HE SPENT TWO YEARS THINK 504 00:18:57,503 --> 00:18:58,437 ABOUT WHETHER HE SHOULD APPOINT 505 00:18:58,504 --> 00:19:00,038 A SPECIAL COUNSEL OR WHAT HE 506 00:19:00,105 --> 00:19:00,639 SHOULD DO ABOUT DONALD TRUMP 507 00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:05,410 BEING A CRIMINAL. 508 00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:07,312 NOW HE HAS MADE UP HIS MIND HE'S 509 00:19:07,379 --> 00:19:07,880 GOING TO GIVE IT TO SOMEBODY 510 00:19:07,946 --> 00:19:10,883 ELSE TO DO. 511 00:19:10,949 --> 00:19:13,151 HE'S GOING TO APPOINT A SPECIAL 512 00:19:13,218 --> 00:19:15,354 COUNSEL TO LOOK INTO THE TWO 513 00:19:15,420 --> 00:19:17,489 CRIMES -- TRYING TO OVERTURN THE 514 00:19:17,556 --> 00:19:19,424 2020 ELECTION, THAT THING THAT 515 00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:22,361 HE DID, AND BRINGING THE 516 00:19:22,427 --> 00:19:22,961 CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS DOWN TO 517 00:19:23,028 --> 00:19:25,230 MAR-A-LAGO AND PUTTING THEM IN 518 00:19:25,297 --> 00:19:29,067 THE SHED SHED WITH THE CROQUET 519 00:19:29,134 --> 00:19:29,334 EQUIPMENT. 520 00:19:29,401 --> 00:19:31,837 [LAUGHTER] 521 00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:35,007 THIS GUY JACK SMITH IS THE CHIEF 522 00:19:35,073 --> 00:19:37,075 PROSECUTOR, WAS THE CHIEF 523 00:19:37,142 --> 00:19:37,976 PROSECUTOR AT THE HAGUE, THAT'S 524 00:19:38,043 --> 00:19:40,012 THE WORLD COURT. 525 00:19:40,078 --> 00:19:42,047 HE IS GOING TO BE NOW THE 526 00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:44,650 PROSECUTOR THE SPECIAL 527 00:19:44,716 --> 00:19:45,617 PROSECUTOR, HE'S INVESTIGATED 528 00:19:45,684 --> 00:19:47,819 WAR CRIMES AND KOS OF OH, HE'S A 529 00:19:47,886 --> 00:19:49,688 SERIOUS GUY WITH A SERIOUS JOB 530 00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:51,490 BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO, IT 531 00:19:51,557 --> 00:19:52,224 DOESN'T MATTER HOW IT DOESN'T 532 00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:53,559 MATTER WHEN, THE RIGHT IS GOING 533 00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:56,261 TO SS POLITICAL. 534 00:19:56,328 --> 00:19:58,764 WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN, WHY DO 535 00:19:58,830 --> 00:20:01,833 IT? 536 00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:04,136 >> HE IS KNOWN AS TEFLON DON, 537 00:20:04,202 --> 00:20:06,471 YOU ARE CORRECT BUT THERE IS A 538 00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:08,140 NEED IN SOME RESPECT FOR THE DOJ 539 00:20:08,206 --> 00:20:10,509 TO COUNTER WHAT YOU KNOW IS 540 00:20:10,576 --> 00:20:11,009 COMING. 541 00:20:11,076 --> 00:20:12,244 DONALD TRUMP IS GOING TO SAY 542 00:20:12,311 --> 00:20:14,580 THIS IS A POLITICAL 543 00:20:14,646 --> 00:20:14,913 WITCH HUNT -- 544 00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:16,548 >> Bill: ALREADY SAID IT. 545 00:20:16,615 --> 00:20:18,917 >> HE WILL SAY IT AGAIN BUT NOW 546 00:20:18,984 --> 00:20:19,818 HE HAS DECLARED HE'S GOING TO 547 00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:24,456 RUN AGAIN. 548 00:20:24,523 --> 00:20:25,624 JOE BIDEN HAS SAID BECAUSE HE IS 549 00:20:25,691 --> 00:20:28,594 INTENDED TO AGAIN THEY ARE 550 00:20:28,660 --> 00:20:28,994 POLITICAL RIVALS. 551 00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,596 THIS IS A MOMENT AT A TIME OF 552 00:20:30,662 --> 00:20:31,964 THE U.S. DOES NOT NECESSARILY 553 00:20:32,030 --> 00:20:34,833 TRUST OUR INSTIT OUR 554 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:35,334 SUPREME COURT, OUR COURT 555 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:36,335 INSTITUTIONS MORE BROADLY, 556 00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:37,402 SAYING I'M GOING TO HEAD THIS 557 00:20:37,469 --> 00:20:38,270 OFF. 558 00:20:38,337 --> 00:20:41,373 HAVING SAID THAT I WAS A 559 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,475 PROSECUTOR, WE WERE EXPECTED TO 560 00:20:43,542 --> 00:20:45,277 BE PERFECT, NEVER HAD TIME TO BE 561 00:20:45,344 --> 00:20:46,378 I NEVER HAD THE TIME 562 00:20:46,445 --> 00:20:46,979 MERRICK GARLAND AND THE AM 563 00:20:47,045 --> 00:20:49,214 HAVE RIGHT NOW TO TAKE ALL THE 564 00:20:49,281 --> 00:20:50,682 TIME TO INVESTIGATE AND LOOK AT 565 00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:52,284 THE ISSUES BUT THE STAKES ARE 566 00:20:52,351 --> 00:20:52,851 REALLY HIGH. 567 00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:54,953 IF YOU CAN DO ONE THINGO 568 00:20:55,020 --> 00:20:56,655 UN THE ARGUMENT THAT THIS 569 00:20:56,722 --> 00:21:00,826 IS ALL POLITICS, WHY NOT TRY? 570 00:21:00,892 --> 00:21:01,893 >> Bill: YOU'VE GOT TO COME HE 571 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:06,832 CAN'T LET A GUY GET AWAY WITH I 572 00:21:06,898 --> 00:21:07,065 IT. 573 00:21:07,132 --> 00:21:08,467 I KNOW T SOME BAD SIDES OF 574 00:21:08,533 --> 00:21:12,037 DOING IT. 575 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:13,605 >> I WOULD ADD WE ARE KIND OF IN 576 00:21:13,672 --> 00:21:17,776 A NEW ERA, WE ALL HAVE 577 00:21:17,843 --> 00:21:18,410 INTUITIONS ABOUT WHAT IS PROPER 578 00:21:18,477 --> 00:21:19,478 IN HOW THINGS SHOUK AND 579 00:21:19,544 --> 00:21:22,214 THOSE ARE BASED ON US LIVING IN 580 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:23,281 THE 20TH CENTURY WHEN THINGS 581 00:21:23,348 --> 00:21:25,617 WENT COMPLETELY NUTS. 582 00:21:25,684 --> 00:21:27,986 BUT AT SOME POINT IN THE 20 583 00:21:28,053 --> 00:21:28,954 TENS, EVERYTHING GOT COMPLETELY 584 00:21:29,021 --> 00:21:30,922 NUTS AND I HAD BEEN ARGUING THIS 585 00:21:30,989 --> 00:21:32,357 BECAUSE SOCIAL MEDIA REWIRED THE 586 00:21:32,424 --> 00:21:35,761 WAY WE SHARE INFORMATION, 587 00:21:35,827 --> 00:21:36,428 POSSIBILITY OF A SHARED 588 00:21:36,495 --> 00:21:37,162 RSTANDING OF WHAT HAPPENED 589 00:21:37,229 --> 00:21:38,196 AND WHO WE ARE. 590 00:21:38,263 --> 00:21:40,365 I THINK IT'S DIFFICULT TO 591 00:21:40,432 --> 00:21:42,334 SECOND-GUESS -- I HOPE THAT 592 00:21:42,401 --> 00:21:43,602 MERRICK GARLAND WAS AT LEAST 593 00:21:43,669 --> 00:21:46,204 THINKING ABOUT HOW THIS 594 00:21:46,271 --> 00:21:48,273 PROSECUTION COULD ACTUALLY WORK 595 00:21:48,340 --> 00:21:49,741 AND COME TO A PROPER CONCLUSION 596 00:21:49,808 --> 00:21:51,710 AND NOT TO BLOW UP OF THE 597 00:21:51,777 --> 00:21:51,943 COUNTRY. 598 00:21:52,010 --> 00:21:53,812 THE PROBLEM IS EVERYONE 599 00:21:53,879 --> 00:21:56,048 THINKS HE IS REACTIVE AND HE 600 00:21:56,114 --> 00:21:56,848 MIGHT BE. 601 00:21:56,915 --> 00:21:58,517 THE IDEA OF HE'S HAVING A 602 00:21:58,583 --> 00:21:59,651 SPECIAL COUNSEL WHO WILL HAVE 603 00:21:59,718 --> 00:22:00,652 DAY- OPERATIONS OF 604 00:22:00,719 --> 00:22:01,687 EVERYTHING THAT'S NOT GOING TO 605 00:22:01,753 --> 00:22:02,487 BE MERRICK GARLAND WHO'S GOING 606 00:22:02,554 --> 00:22:03,655 TO LOOK AT EVERYTH EVERY DAY 607 00:22:03,722 --> 00:22:04,756 AND DECIDE WHAT'S GOING ON, NOW 608 00:22:04,823 --> 00:22:07,793 YOU WILL HAVE THE APPEARANCE OF 609 00:22:07,859 --> 00:22:08,660 NOT HAVING IMPROPRIETY. 610 00:22:08,727 --> 00:22:10,862 THE PROBLEM IS THE AMERICAN 611 00:22:10,929 --> 00:22:13,265 PEOPLE ARE JUSTIFIED IN MANY 612 00:22:13,331 --> 00:22:14,099 RESPECTS IN THINKING ARE YOU 613 00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:15,567 JUST NOW GETTING TO IT, WHATEVER 614 00:22:15,634 --> 00:22:18,003 IT MIGHT BE? 615 00:22:18,070 --> 00:22:19,404 WERE YOU WAITING FOR HIM TO 616 00:22:19,471 --> 00:22:21,073 ANNOUNCE AND HAVE THIS SPECIAL 617 00:22:21,139 --> 00:22:21,606 COUNSEL BE IN PLACE? 618 00:22:21,673 --> 00:22:22,708 IF THAT IS THE CASE THAT'S NOT 619 00:22:22,774 --> 00:22:24,509 GOING TO CUT IT IN TERMS OF 620 00:22:24,576 --> 00:22:25,143 PEOPLE BEING MORE CONFIDENT AND 621 00:22:25,210 --> 00:22:29,181 YOU ARE RIGHT -- PEOPLE ARE 622 00:22:29,247 --> 00:22:31,216 HAVING THAT EFFECT -- 623 00:22:31,283 --> 00:22:33,618 >> Bill: HE WAS A SPECIAL 624 00:22:33,685 --> 00:22:34,052 COUNSEL. 625 00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:35,821 >> TIMING IS NOTHING WITH A PEN 626 00:22:35,887 --> 00:22:38,123 TO MAKE EVERYONE THINKS THIS IS 627 00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:39,424 PART 2, IN REALITY THERE IS A 628 00:22:39,491 --> 00:22:40,726 >> YOU THINK IT WOULD'VE BEEN 629 00:22:40,792 --> 00:22:42,260 DIFFERENT AND I THINK YOU ARE 630 00:22:42,327 --> 00:22:43,662 PROBABLY RIGHT IF RIGHT AFTER 631 00:22:43,729 --> 00:22:45,997 JANUARY 6TH TH HAD MOVED. 632 00:22:46,064 --> 00:22:48,600 I KEPT SAYING ON THIS SHOW, WHAT 633 00:22:48,667 --> 00:22:50,635 THE FUCK IS GOING ON? 634 00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:52,938 IF ONLY WE HAD SOME SORT OF 635 00:22:53,004 --> 00:22:55,474 DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE WHO COULD 636 00:22:55,540 --> 00:22:56,041 DO SOME SORT OF JUSTICE 637 00:22:56,108 --> 00:22:58,276 DEPARTMENT THING. 638 00:22:58,343 --> 00:23:00,746 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 639 00:23:00,812 --> 00:23:03,882 LISTEN TO ASSHOLE ON THE BLOCK, 640 00:23:03,949 --> 00:23:06,752 HIS NAME IS SAM BANK FREED, 641 00:23:06,818 --> 00:23:12,657 MOVE OVER MARTIN -- THIS IS ONE 642 00:23:12,724 --> 00:23:13,825 OF THESE GUYS. 643 00:23:13,892 --> 00:23:14,993 THEY ARE CALLING HIM THE 644 00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:16,661 MILLENNIAL BERNIE MADE OFF, THIS 645 00:23:16,728 --> 00:23:18,430 IS THE CRYPTO GUY. 646 00:23:18,497 --> 00:23:19,865 IT'S AMAZING TO ME THE THINGS 647 00:23:19,931 --> 00:23:21,800 YOU DON'T KNOW THAT ARE GOING ON 648 00:23:21,867 --> 00:23:25,270 IN THIS WORLD UNTIL THEY 649 00:23:25,337 --> 00:23:25,504 EXPLODE. 650 00:23:25,570 --> 00:23:26,838 THIS GUY -- I'M NOT IN CRYPTO 651 00:23:26,905 --> 00:23:28,206 BECAUSE I THINK IT'S A PONZI 652 00:23:28,273 --> 00:23:29,574 SCHEME AND I'M ROOTING FOR ITS 653 00:23:29,641 --> 00:23:32,010 FAILURE. 654 00:23:32,077 --> 00:23:36,014 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 655 00:23:36,081 --> 00:23:37,749 HE RAN A CRYPTO EXCHANGE WHERE 656 00:23:37,816 --> 00:23:39,384 YOU CAN BUY HIMSELF CRYPTO 657 00:23:39,451 --> 00:23:41,620 CALLED FTX. 658 00:23:41,686 --> 00:23:48,426 HE'S KNOWN AS SBF AND HE RAN TO 659 00:23:48,493 --> 00:23:52,097 FTX AND I SAY WTF. 660 00:23:52,164 --> 00:23:53,665 UNLIKE BANKS WHICH HAVE THE FDIC 661 00:23:53,732 --> 00:23:54,699 WHICH ENSURES YOU SO THERE CAN'T 662 00:23:54,766 --> 00:23:56,835 BE A RUN ON THEM, THERE IS 663 00:23:56,902 --> 00:23:58,470 NOTHING IN THE CRYPTO WORLD IT'S 664 00:23:58,537 --> 00:23:59,671 THE LD WEST. 665 00:23:59,738 --> 00:24:01,840 EVERY MONTH, BILLIONS ARE 666 00:24:01,907 --> 00:24:02,073 STOLEN. 667 00:24:02,140 --> 00:24:05,811 NORTH KOREA DOES A LOT OF IT. 668 00:24:05,877 --> 00:24:06,611 THIS THING COLLAPSED LIKE IT WAS 669 00:24:06,678 --> 00:24:11,049 A BANK RUN IN THE METAVERSE, 670 00:24:11,116 --> 00:24:11,850 $32 BILLION AND IT TURNS OUT 671 00:24:11,917 --> 00:24:14,119 HE'S A CROOK AND A CON ARTIST, 672 00:24:14,186 --> 00:24:16,555 HENCE THE NAME MILLENNIAL BERNIE 673 00:24:16,621 --> 00:24:18,890 MADE OFF. 674 00:24:18,957 --> 00:24:20,559 THAT'S WHAT THEY ARE CALLING HIM 675 00:24:20,625 --> 00:24:25,030 ON TWITTER WHICH IS NO MORE. 676 00:24:25,096 --> 00:24:25,697 [LAUGHTER] 677 00:24:25,764 --> 00:24:28,233 AND YET I READ IT THERE AN HOUR 678 00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:29,534 AGO. 679 00:24:29,601 --> 00:24:31,736 NOW THEY HAVE APPOINTED THIS 680 00:24:31,803 --> 00:24:35,307 GUY -- JY THE THIRD WAS 681 00:24:35,373 --> 00:24:36,675 APPOINTED AFTER ENRON COLLAPSED, 682 00:24:36,741 --> 00:24:41,213 WHAT WAS THAT 2001? 683 00:24:41,279 --> 00:24:44,316 BEFORE 9/11, THEY LOST 684 00:24:44,382 --> 00:24:45,150 74 BILLION IN ENRON. 685 00:24:45,217 --> 00:24:46,318 SO THEY POINTED THIS GUY JOHN 686 00:24:46,384 --> 00:24:48,520 RAY BACK THEN TO TAKE OVER THE 687 00:24:48,587 --> 00:24:50,188 COMPANY AND CLEAN IT UP FROM 688 00:24:50,255 --> 00:24:52,958 ANOTHER BRINGING HIM BACK. 689 00:24:53,024 --> 00:24:54,359 NOW HE'S GOING TO RUN FTX -- 690 00:24:54,426 --> 00:24:57,429 I'VE NEVER SEESUCH A COMPLETE 691 00:24:57,495 --> 00:24:58,864 FAILURE OF CORPORATE CONTROL 692 00:24:58,930 --> 00:25:03,702 AGAIN, HE RAN ENRON. 693 00:25:03,768 --> 00:25:07,505 [LAUGHTER] 694 00:25:07,572 --> 00:25:09,174 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 695 00:25:09,241 --> 00:25:10,475 HE SAID THE SITUATION IS 696 00:25:10,542 --> 00:25:13,211 UNPRECEDENTED, THE FTX GROUP DID 697 00:25:13,278 --> 00:25:14,379 NOT KEEP APPROPRIATE BOOKS OR 698 00:25:14,446 --> 00:25:17,015 RECORDS, IT WAS SO DISORGANIZED, 699 00:25:17,082 --> 00:25:18,783 THEY WERE UNABLE TOPARE A 700 00:25:18,850 --> 00:25:21,186 COMPLETE LIST OF WHO WORKED 701 00:25:21,253 --> 00:25:24,422 THERE. 702 00:25:24,489 --> 00:25:25,190 AT LEAST ELON MUSK KNOWS WHO HE 703 00:25:25,257 --> 00:25:28,560 IS FIRING. 704 00:25:28,627 --> 00:25:30,328 THE PLOT THICKENS BECAUSE THIS 705 00:25:30,395 --> 00:25:38,003 GUY, SBF, THIS MILLENNIAL 706 00:25:38,069 --> 00:25:39,437 MADOFF, THE SECOND BIGGEST DONOR 707 00:25:39,504 --> 00:25:42,073 TO THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY AFTER 708 00:25:42,140 --> 00:25:43,241 GEORGE SOROS, HE WAS ALWAYS WITH 709 00:25:43,308 --> 00:25:45,010 CLINTON AND THOSE TYPES, HE WAS 710 00:25:45,076 --> 00:25:47,646 AT DAVOD IT TO YOUR POINT 711 00:25:47,712 --> 00:25:50,048 ABOUT WE ARE IN OUR SILOS IT'S 712 00:25:50,115 --> 00:25:51,249 LIKETHING NOW -- AS LONG 713 00:25:51,316 --> 00:25:53,985 AS Y ARE ON OUR TEA WE DON'T 714 00:25:54,052 --> 00:25:55,553 CARE, WE DON'T LOOK, IT HAS A 715 00:25:55,620 --> 00:25:59,758 VERY JEFFREY EPSTEIN FEEL. 716 00:25:59,824 --> 00:26:00,425 THIS SMELLS OF THAT. 717 00:26:00,492 --> 00:26:03,395 HE IS ONE OF US, HE'S ON OUR 718 00:26:03,461 --> 00:26:05,363 SIDE, HE DONATES TO OUR CAUSES, 719 00:26:05,430 --> 00:26:06,998 WE DON'T NEED TO LOOK TOO HARD 720 00:26:07,065 --> 00:26:11,836 CON MAN. FACT THAT HE'S A 721 00:26:11,903 --> 00:26:13,672 >> HIS PICTURE LOOKS SO 722 00:26:13,738 --> 00:26:16,007 TRUSTWORTHY. 723 00:26:16,074 --> 00:26:16,875 [LAUGHTER] 724 00:26:16,942 --> 00:26:18,944 >> I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU WOULDN'T 725 00:26:19,010 --> 00:26:26,418 GIVE HIM BILLIONS. 726 00:26:26,484 --> 00:26:27,819 I DON'T UNDERSTAND CRYPTO. 727 00:26:27,886 --> 00:26:30,722 >> NO ONE DOES, THAT'S THE 728 00:26:30,789 --> 00:26:30,922 POINT. 729 00:26:30,989 --> 00:26:33,892 >> IT'S CRYPTO, IT'S C. 730 00:26:33,959 --> 00:26:39,297 THE IDEA THAT MONEY JT 731 00:26:39,364 --> 00:26:40,832 FEELS -- IT'S NOT TANGIBLE TO 732 00:26:40,899 --> 00:26:41,433 PEOPLE. 733 00:26:41,499 --> 00:26:43,401 IT FEELS LIKE MONOPOLY MONEY, 734 00:26:43,468 --> 00:26:47,572 THE IDEA OF THAT PHRASE FORTUNE 735 00:26:47,639 --> 00:26:48,740 FAVORS THE BOLD OR THE BRAVE OR 736 00:26:48,807 --> 00:26:51,376 WHATEVER IT MIGHT BE -- I DON'T 737 00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:52,677 HAVE THE FORTUNE SO I DIDN'T GET 738 00:26:52,744 --> 00:26:53,778 THE QUOTE RIGHTS. 739 00:26:53,845 --> 00:26:55,780 THE IDEA OF THINKING ABOUT IT, 740 00:26:55,847 --> 00:26:57,048 PEOPLE THINK ABOUT THAT MUST BE 741 00:26:57,115 --> 00:26:59,617 ME, I CAN DO THAT I CAN DROP OUT 742 00:26:59,684 --> 00:27:02,687 OF COLLEGE, I CAN RUB ELBOWS, I 743 00:27:02,754 --> 00:27:04,723 CAN HAVE A MIAMI STADIUM AND 744 00:27:04,789 --> 00:27:06,191 ARENA AFTER THE LETTERS AND I 745 00:27:06,257 --> 00:27:07,158 THINK PEOPLE LIVE IN THIS 746 00:27:07,225 --> 00:27:09,961 DELUSIONAL WORLD WHERE YOU DON'T 747 00:27:10,028 --> 00:27:10,962 HAVE TO SHOW ANYTHING BESIDES 748 00:27:11,029 --> 00:27:12,130 BRAVADO AND THAT GETS YOU IN 749 00:27:12,197 --> 00:27:12,430 EVERY DOOR. 750 00:27:12,497 --> 00:27:16,001 >> THAT'S RIGHT AND PEOPLE OF 751 00:27:16,067 --> 00:27:17,202 ALWAYS BEEN FALLING FOR GET RICH 752 00:27:17,268 --> 00:27:19,004 SCHEMES, THAT'S WHY WE 753 00:27:19,070 --> 00:27:20,205 HAVE GOVERNMT AGENCIES IS TO 754 00:27:20,271 --> 00:27:21,306 PUT A LID ON HERE IS WHERE LOTS 755 00:27:21,373 --> 00:27:24,609 OF PEOPLE GET HURT. 756 00:27:24,676 --> 00:27:25,777 I UNDERSTAND THE NEED FOR 757 00:27:25,844 --> 00:27:26,811 INNOVATION AT DIFFERENT SPACES 758 00:27:26,878 --> 00:27:28,380 BUT ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU HAVE 759 00:27:28,446 --> 00:27:29,948 ORDINARY PEOPLE INVESTING THEIR 760 00:27:30,015 --> 00:27:31,416 MONEY INVESTING THEIR FORTUNE IN 761 00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:33,318 RETIREMENT, I THINK THIS IS 762 00:27:33,385 --> 00:27:35,053 SHOWING US THERE IS A NEED FOR 763 00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:37,255 REGULATION, FOR INSTITUTIONS. 764 00:27:37,322 --> 00:27:38,790 SO MUCH OF WHAT CONCERNS ME NOW 765 00:27:38,857 --> 00:27:41,226 ABOUT WHERE WE ARE AS A COUNTRY 766 00:27:41,292 --> 00:27:42,260 IS THAT LIBERAL DEMOCRACY AND 767 00:27:42,327 --> 00:27:44,596 THE FREE MARKET SYSTEM WE HAVE 768 00:27:44,662 --> 00:27:46,231 ARE A KIND OF UNNATURAL AND 769 00:27:46,297 --> 00:27:48,433 UNSTABLE AND THE ONLY WORK 770 00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:49,968 BECAUSE OVER DECADES AND 771 00:27:50,035 --> 00:27:51,069 CENTURIES WE HALT 772 00:27:51,136 --> 00:27:52,604 INSTITUTIO THAT ALLOW US TO 773 00:27:52,670 --> 00:27:53,371 LIVE WAY ABOVE WHAT WE ARE 774 00:27:53,438 --> 00:27:57,809 DESIGNED FOR. 775 00:27:57,876 --> 00:27:58,743 NO EVERYTHING IS SPEEDING 776 00:27:58,810 --> 00:28:00,378 UP SO FAST, CHANGE CAN HAPPEN WE 777 00:28:00,445 --> 00:28:01,646 DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IS 778 00:28:01,713 --> 00:28:03,281 HAPPENING AT ALL AROUND US 779 00:28:03,348 --> 00:28:05,417 PEOPLE ARE LOSING FAITH IN OUR 780 00:28:05,483 --> 00:28:06,518 INSTITUTIONS IN PART BECAUSE OUR 781 00:28:06,584 --> 00:28:09,187 INSTITUTIONS ARE BEHAVING BADLY. 782 00:28:09,254 --> 00:28:10,822 WE HAVE TO GET A GRIP ON THIS, 783 00:28:10,889 --> 00:28:11,790 WE HAVE TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IS 784 00:28:11,856 --> 00:28:16,428 HAPPENING TO US AND I'M HOPEFUL 785 00:28:16,494 --> 00:28:18,563 THIS COLLAPSE WILL BRING US BACK 786 00:28:18,630 --> 00:28:21,966 TO OUR SENSES AND OUR REALITY 787 00:28:22,033 --> 00:28:24,235 ABOUT -- SOCIAL MEDIA IS MAKING 788 00:28:24,302 --> 00:28:27,605 A MESS OF OUR SOCIAL LIVES, HOW 789 00:28:27,672 --> 00:28:28,907 ABOUT BRING INTO OUR BANKING 790 00:28:28,973 --> 00:28:31,209 SYSTEMS IS THAT A GOOD IDEA? 791 00:28:31,276 --> 00:28:31,843 PROBABLY NOT. 792 00:28:31,910 --> 00:28:32,410 [APPLAUSE] 793 00:28:32,477 --> 00:28:33,812 >> Bill: WHAT I FIND SO 794 00:28:33,878 --> 00:28:34,679 DISTURBING ABOUT IT IS THEY KNEW 795 00:28:34,746 --> 00:28:38,650 IT WAS A SCAM. 796 00:28:38,716 --> 00:28:39,784 HE JUST DID AN INTERVIEW AND 797 00:28:39,851 --> 00:28:42,220 HE'S KIND OF ADMITTING I KNOW 798 00:28:42,287 --> 00:28:43,888 AND HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND WHO 799 00:28:43,955 --> 00:28:45,990 WOUND UP WITH ABOUT A BILLION 800 00:28:46,057 --> 00:28:46,891 DOLLARS OF MONEY BECAUSE THERE 801 00:28:46,958 --> 00:28:49,160 WAS SO MUCH OF IT WASHING 802 00:28:49,227 --> 00:28:53,098 >> THAT'S B THAN FLOWERS. 803 00:28:53,164 --> 00:28:53,731 [CHEERS A APPLAUSE] 804 00:28:53,798 --> 00:28:55,166 >> Bill: HERE IS HER QUOTE, I 805 00:28:55,233 --> 00:28:57,969 DIDN'T GET INTO THIS AS TRUE 806 00:28:58,036 --> 00:28:59,003 BELIEVER, IT'S MOSTLY SCAMS AND 807 00:28:59,070 --> 00:29:03,875 MEANS WHEN YOU GET DOWN TO IT. 808 00:29:03,942 --> 00:29:05,043 [LAUGHTER] 809 00:29:05,110 --> 00:29:06,377 AND THIS IS WHAT THEY ARE SAYING 810 00:29:06,444 --> 00:29:07,479 OUT LOUD, THIS IS NOT JUST 811 00:29:07,545 --> 00:29:11,249 THOUGHTS IN YOUR HEAD. 812 00:29:11,316 --> 00:29:12,484 I ALSO THINK THERE IS AN 813 00:29:12,550 --> 00:29:13,718 INTERESTING CONNECTION HERE TH 814 00:29:13,785 --> 00:29:16,354 ACADEMIA BECAUSE I WAS READING 815 00:29:16,421 --> 00:29:18,656 ABOUT HIS MOTHER, SBF'S MOTHER, 816 00:29:18,723 --> 00:29:19,858 A LOT OF THE MONEY CAME THROUGH 817 00:29:19,924 --> 00:29:23,561 THIS GROUP CALLED EFFECTIVE 818 00:29:23,628 --> 00:29:24,963 ALTRUISM, A SOCIAL MT -- 819 00:29:25,029 --> 00:29:25,997 LISTEN TO THIS, I LOVE THE 820 00:29:26,064 --> 00:29:27,665 YOUNGER GENERATION WHEN THEY 821 00:29:27,732 --> 00:29:29,868 THINK THEYDISCOVERED 822 00:29:29,934 --> 00:29:31,703 SOMETHING NEW. 823 00:29:31,769 --> 00:29:31,970 [LAUGHTER] 824 00:29:32,036 --> 00:29:33,104 A SOCIAL MOVEMENT DEDICATED TO 825 00:29:33,171 --> 00:29:34,038 USING EVIDENCE AND REASON TO 826 00:29:34,105 --> 00:29:36,407 FIGURE OUT HOW TO BENEFIT OTHERS 827 00:29:36,474 --> 00:29:38,042 AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE -- YES, WHY 828 00:29:38,109 --> 00:29:41,546 DIDN'T WE THINK OF THAT? 829 00:29:41,613 --> 00:29:44,182 FUCK. 830 00:29:44,249 --> 00:29:46,584 USING EVIDENCE -- EFFECTIVE 831 00:29:46,651 --> 00:29:49,621 ALTRUISM, SO ON TO SOMETHING. 832 00:29:49,687 --> 00:29:50,955 [LAUGHTER] 833 00:29:51,022 --> 00:29:52,857 TURNS OUT BOTH HIS PARENTS WERE 834 00:29:52,924 --> 00:29:54,025 PROFESSORS AT STANFORD TO. 835 00:29:54,092 --> 00:29:55,426 I'M BRINGING THIS UP BECAUSE YOU 836 00:29:55,493 --> 00:29:59,931 ARE INTO THIS AREA -- THE MOTHER 837 00:29:59,998 --> 00:30:03,501 WROTE AN ESSAY IN 2015, BEYOND 838 00:30:03,568 --> 00:30:05,737 BLAME, SHE SAID THE PHILOSOPHY 839 00:30:05,803 --> 00:30:07,739 OF PERSONAL RESNSIBILITY HAS 840 00:30:07,805 --> 00:30:09,207 RUINED CRIMINAL JUSTICE AND 841 00:30:09,274 --> 00:30:10,909 ECONOMIC POLIC-- IT'S TIME TO 842 00:30:10,975 --> 00:30:15,980 MOVE PAST BLAME. 843 00:30:16,047 --> 00:30:17,615 IT TIME? 844 00:30:17,682 --> 00:30:19,117 PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY IS BAD 845 00:30:19,184 --> 00:30:19,751 AND THE BLAME, THAT IS A THING 846 00:30:19,817 --> 00:30:21,452 OF THE PAST? 847 00:30:21,519 --> 00:30:22,820 AND NO WONDER THIS GUY IS A 848 00:30:22,887 --> 00:30:25,223 FUCKING CROOK, YOU WERE RAISED 849 00:30:25,290 --> 00:30:31,262 WRONG ASSHOLE. 850 00:30:31,329 --> 00:30:32,163 [LAUGHTER] 851 00:30:32,230 --> 00:30:34,799 >> I STUDY MORAL PCHOLOGY AND 852 00:30:34,866 --> 00:30:35,333 THERE ARE SOME INTERESTING 853 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:37,769 STUDIES DONE BY A PHILOSOPHER 854 00:30:37,835 --> 00:30:41,606 WHO LOOKED AT ARE PHILOSOPHERS 855 00:30:41,673 --> 00:30:43,007 WHO STUDY ETHICS MORE ETHICAL? 856 00:30:43,074 --> 00:30:45,343 HE LOOKED AT WHAT BOOKS GET 857 00:30:45,410 --> 00:30:47,212 TAKEN FROM THE LIBRARY NEVER 858 00:30:47,278 --> 00:30:48,646 RETURNED -- ETHICS BOOKS ARE 859 00:30:48,713 --> 00:30:49,847 MORE LIKELY TO BE NEVER 860 00:30:49,914 --> 00:30:50,114 RETURNED. 861 00:30:50,181 --> 00:30:53,151 >> Bill: IS THAT RIGHT? 862 00:30:53,218 --> 00:30:55,887 >> WHO CALLS THEIR MOTHER ON 863 00:30:55,954 --> 00:30:56,654 MOTHER'S DAY -- PHILOSOPHERS AND 864 00:30:56,721 --> 00:30:58,356 MORAL PHILOSOPHERS A LITTLE BIT 865 00:30:58,423 --> 00:30:59,357 LESS LIKELY TO. 866 00:30:59,424 --> 00:31:01,192 AT THE VERY LEAST THERE IS NO 867 00:31:01,259 --> 00:31:02,827 SIGN THAT THINKING AND REASONING 868 00:31:02,894 --> 00:31:04,596 IN STUDYING ETHICS MAKES YOU 869 00:31:04,662 --> 00:31:04,929 MORE ETHICAL. 870 00:31:04,996 --> 00:31:05,863 ONE THING IT DOES IS IT MAKES 871 00:31:05,930 --> 00:31:10,235 YOU VERY, VERY GOOD AT POST HOC 872 00:31:10,301 --> 00:31:10,835 JUSTIFICATIONS OF WHATEVER YOU 873 00:31:10,902 --> 00:31:12,937 WANT TO DO. 874 00:31:13,004 --> 00:31:16,808 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Bill: TT 875 00:31:16,874 --> 00:31:18,309 WHEN YOU THINK GOD IS ON YOUR 876 00:31:18,376 --> 00:31:21,813 SIDE YOU CAN DO ANYTHING. 877 00:31:21,879 --> 00:31:23,348 THE PEOPLE WHO ATTACKED ON 9/11 878 00:31:23,414 --> 00:31:25,750 THOUGHT THEY WERE DOING GOD'S 879 00:31:25,817 --> 00:31:26,751 WORK. 880 00:31:26,818 --> 00:31:31,222 IT WAS A FAITH-BASED INITIATIVE. 881 00:31:31,289 --> 00:31:33,424 >> GENOCIDES, IF YOU HAVE 882 00:31:33,491 --> 00:31:35,193 LARGE-SCALE VIOLENCE, MOBILIZING 883 00:31:35,260 --> 00:31:36,261 PEOPLE TO DO SOMETHING, MOST 884 00:31:36,327 --> 00:31:37,795 LIKELY THEY FEEL THERE IS A 885 00:31:37,862 --> 00:31:38,663 STRONG MORAL JUSTIFICATION 886 00:31:38,730 --> 00:31:41,532 BEHIND IT. 887 00:31:41,599 --> 00:31:43,901 ESPECIALLY A LIBERAL DEMOCRACY 888 00:31:43,968 --> 00:31:44,869 WHERE THERE IS A NEW RESEARCH 889 00:31:44,936 --> 00:31:47,238 PAPER THAT CAME OUT A COUPLE 890 00:31:47,305 --> 00:31:48,273 MONTHS AGO SHOWING IN THE 891 00:31:48,339 --> 00:31:49,173 COUNTRIES THAT ARE BACKSLIDING 892 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:52,610 THE MOST, THE COUNTRIES THAT ARE 893 00:31:52,677 --> 00:31:53,444 BECOMING LESS STABLE 894 00:31:53,511 --> 00:31:55,046 DEMOCRACIES, THOSE ARE PRECISELY 895 00:31:55,113 --> 00:31:56,047 THE COUNTRIES WHERE POLARIZATION 896 00:31:56,114 --> 00:31:57,315 IS RISING, IN OTHER WORDS THE 897 00:31:57,382 --> 00:31:59,817 MORE YOU HATE THE OTHER SIDE, 898 00:31:59,884 --> 00:32:00,385 THE MORE YOU CAN JUSTIFY 899 00:32:00,451 --> 00:32:03,521 ANYTHING BECAUSE IT -- THEY ARE 900 00:32:03,588 --> 00:32:04,088 AN EXISTENTIAL THREAT TO THE 901 00:32:04,155 --> 00:32:04,956 COUNTRY AND THEY HAVE THE 902 00:32:05,023 --> 00:32:07,125 CAPITAL TO TURN OVER THE 903 00:32:07,191 --> 00:32:08,526 ELECTION, THEY WILL DO 904 00:32:08,593 --> 00:32:10,995 E IT ON BOTH SIDES. 905 00:32:11,062 --> 00:32:12,797 ONE OF THE CENTRAL THINGS WE GOT 906 00:32:12,864 --> 00:32:13,931 TO KEEP OUR EYE ON HIS 907 00:32:13,998 --> 00:32:14,666 POLARIZATION. 908 00:32:14,732 --> 00:32:15,400 THE MORE WE HATE EACH OTHER THE 909 00:32:15,466 --> 00:32:16,734 MORE WE ARE GOING TO DO CRAZY 910 00:32:16,801 --> 00:32:18,236 THINGS TO MAKE IT 911 00:32:18,303 --> 00:32:19,337 NON-SUSTAINABLE TO HAVE A 912 00:32:19,404 --> 00:32:19,737 LIBERAL DEMOCRACY. 913 00:32:19,804 --> 00:32:24,375 [APPLAUSE] 914 00:32:24,442 --> 00:32:26,811 >> MAYBE IT'S PROSECUTOR, I 915 00:32:26,878 --> 00:32:28,413 HAVE TO CALL B.S. ON HER 916 00:32:28,479 --> 00:32:28,713 ENTS. 917 00:32:28,780 --> 00:32:30,415 THE IDEA THAT WE HAVE TO MOVE 918 00:32:30,481 --> 00:32:31,849 PAST BLAME, BLAME IS THE 919 00:32:31,916 --> 00:32:36,187 COUSIN OF -- THE 16TH PLACEHE 920 00:32:36,254 --> 00:32:38,156 RIBBON AND A CLASS OF 16, THERE 921 00:32:38,222 --> 00:32:40,024 IS RIGHT AND WRONG, THERE IS THE 922 00:32:40,091 --> 00:32:41,893 IDEA OF PUNISHMENTS. 923 00:32:41,959 --> 00:32:43,961 THERE IS THE IDEA OF ACTUAL GAIN 924 00:32:44,028 --> 00:32:45,830 AND IF SOMEBODY HAS DONE THE 925 00:32:45,897 --> 00:32:47,598 WRONG THING YOU DON'T HAVE TO 926 00:32:47,665 --> 00:32:50,068 LOOK EVERYWHERE ELSE TO ASSIGN 927 00:32:50,134 --> 00:32:51,402 BLAME, SOMETIMES THE PERSON WHO 928 00:32:51,469 --> 00:32:53,171 DID THE DEED SHOULD BE BLAMED 929 00:32:53,237 --> 00:32:54,105 AND HELD ACCOUNTABLE. 930 00:32:54,172 --> 00:32:56,441 WE TALK ABOUT PEOPLE NOT BEING 931 00:32:56,507 --> 00:32:59,711 MEANS FOR US SOCIETALLY.HA 932 00:32:59,777 --> 00:33:01,846 THE IDEA THAT ITS DEFLECTION ON 933 00:33:01,913 --> 00:33:03,181 SOCIETY, IT'S SOCIETY SOCIETIES 934 00:33:03,247 --> 00:33:04,582 PROBLEM THAT YOU SEE WHAT I'VE 935 00:33:04,649 --> 00:33:05,350 DONE AS WRONG AS OPPOSED TO WHAT 936 00:33:05,416 --> 00:33:07,151 I'VE DONE IS WRONG. 937 00:33:07,218 --> 00:33:09,287 TO THINK ABOUT THAT IT WAS 938 00:33:09,354 --> 00:33:10,321 WRITTEN YEARS AGO BEFORE HER SON 939 00:33:10,388 --> 00:33:11,956 WAS INVOLVED IN ALL HE'S DOING 940 00:33:12,023 --> 00:33:15,560 INSIGHT INTO HOW SHE FEELS HERE 941 00:33:15,626 --> 00:33:17,962 SON OUGHT TO BE TREATED FROM 942 00:33:18,029 --> 00:33:21,899 HERE OUT, THAT IS REALLY 943 00:33:21,966 --> 00:33:22,133 TELLING. 944 00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:23,000 >> Bill: THAT'S WHY I BROUGHT 945 00:33:23,067 --> 00:33:23,201 IT UP. 946 00:33:23,267 --> 00:33:26,237 I REALLY THINK -- WHEN 947 00:33:26,304 --> 00:33:28,072 HISTORIANS LOOK BACK AT OUR TIME 948 00:33:28,139 --> 00:33:29,741 THEY WILL NOT DIVIDE THIS INTO 949 00:33:29,807 --> 00:33:31,409 RED AND BLUE AND 950 00:33:31,476 --> 00:33:33,177 REPUBLICAN-DEMOCRATS, THE THINGS 951 00:33:33,244 --> 00:33:34,245 THAT ARE WRONG WITH US ARE WRONG 952 00:33:34,312 --> 00:33:35,947 AND BOTH SIDES IN DIFFERENT WAYS 953 00:33:36,013 --> 00:33:37,615 I THINK THEY MANIFEST IN A MORE 954 00:33:37,682 --> 00:33:38,683 DANGEROUS WAY ON THT FOOT 955 00:33:38,750 --> 00:33:41,552 ON THE LEFT, THERE IS A ROT. 956 00:33:41,619 --> 00:33:44,756 AND IT COMES FROM ACADEMIA AND 957 00:33:44,822 --> 00:33:47,392 IT FILTERS DOWN, AM I WRONG 958 00:33:47,458 --> 00:33:47,725 ABOUT THAT? 959 00:33:47,792 --> 00:33:49,060 THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL COMING 960 00:33:49,127 --> 00:33:49,894 FROM. 961 00:33:49,961 --> 00:33:51,596 I THINK THIS IS AN EPITOME OF 962 00:33:51,662 --> 00:33:52,530 IT. 963 00:33:52,597 --> 00:33:53,297 THIS IS WHAT THE MOTHER SAYS AND 964 00:33:53,364 --> 00:33:57,168 THE KID ROBS YOUR MONEY. 965 00:33:57,235 --> 00:33:57,735 [LAUGHTER] 966 00:33:57,802 --> 00:33:59,137 >> PART OF WHAT IS HAPPENING 967 00:33:59,203 --> 00:34:00,805 HERE AS WE HAVE CERTAIN 968 00:34:00,872 --> 00:34:02,440 INSTITUTIONS IN OUR SOCIETY, YOU 969 00:34:02,507 --> 00:34:04,175 CAN CALL THEM EPISTEMIC 970 00:34:04,242 --> 00:34:07,612 INSTITUTIONS WHICH MEANSKNOWLEDE 971 00:34:07,678 --> 00:34:10,415 ACADEMY IS 1 COME ON THE MEDICAL 972 00:34:10,481 --> 00:34:11,249 ESTABLISHMENT, THE COURTS ARE 973 00:34:11,315 --> 00:34:13,818 ANOTHER AND PLEASE ONLY WORK IF 974 00:34:13,885 --> 00:34:14,519 YOU HAVE VIEWPOINT DIVERSITY, 975 00:34:14,585 --> 00:34:16,187 THE ONLY WORK IF I SAY SOMETHING 976 00:34:16,254 --> 00:34:18,823 AND PEOPLE ARE GOING TO 977 00:34:18,890 --> 00:34:20,024 CHALLENGE ME. 978 00:34:20,091 --> 00:34:21,325 THE ACADEMY HAS ALWAYS LEANED 979 00:34:21,392 --> 00:34:23,561 LEFT IT IS NOT NECESSARILY A 980 00:34:23,628 --> 00:34:24,529 PROBLEM, THE POLICE LEAN RIGHT 981 00:34:24,595 --> 00:34:26,097 'S NOT NECESSARILY A PROBLEM 982 00:34:26,164 --> 00:34:29,567 PEOPLE CHOOSE DIFFERENT CAREERS. 983 00:34:29,634 --> 00:34:31,436 I STARTED AN ORGANIZATION CALLED 984 00:34:31,502 --> 00:34:32,437 HETERODOX ACADEMY IN 2015 WE 985 00:34:32,503 --> 00:34:34,405 ARGUED MAYBE WE SHOULD HAVE SOME 986 00:34:34,472 --> 00:34:35,440 VIEWPOINT DIVERSITY AND NOT BE 987 00:34:35,506 --> 00:34:36,174 ORTHODOX. 988 00:34:36,240 --> 00:34:38,009 WHEN EVERYBODY IS ON THE SAME 989 00:34:38,075 --> 00:34:39,610 SIDE AND SOMEONE SAYS SOMETHING 990 00:34:39,677 --> 00:34:40,311 CRAZY LIKE HOW ABOUT WE STOP 991 00:34:40,378 --> 00:34:41,712 PUNISHING PEOP OTHER 992 00:34:41,779 --> 00:34:42,847 PEOPLE ARE AFRAID TO OBJECT 993 00:34:42,914 --> 00:34:45,349 BECAUSE THAT WOULD SEEM TO PUT 994 00:34:45,416 --> 00:34:46,851 YOU AGAINST -- 995 00:34:46,918 --> 00:34:49,086 >> GROUPTHINK. 996 00:34:49,153 --> 00:34:53,157 >> WHAT WE GET IS A THING CALLED 997 00:34:53,224 --> 00:34:54,826 STRUCTURAL STUPIDITY. 998 00:34:54,892 --> 00:34:55,960 [LAUGHTER] 999 00:34:56,027 --> 00:34:57,628 >> Bill: YOU SEE IT ALL THE 1000 00:34:57,695 --> 00:34:58,262 TIME. 1001 00:34:58,329 --> 00:35:00,064 >> YOU GET SMART PEOPLE, YOU PUT 1002 00:35:00,131 --> 00:35:01,766 THEM TOGETHER THEY CAN'T THINK 1003 00:35:01,833 --> 00:35:03,334 STRAIGHT AND THEY SAY STUPID 1004 00:35:03,401 --> 00:35:05,570 THINGS THAT JUST PLAY REALLY 1005 00:35:05,636 --> 00:35:07,839 WELL AND GIVE THE RIGHT WING 1006 00:35:07,905 --> 00:35:08,272 LOTS OF AMMUNITION. 1007 00:35:08,339 --> 00:35:09,607 >> Bill: AND YOU GET ONION 1008 00:35:09,674 --> 00:35:15,813 HES AS POLICY. 1009 00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:16,814 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1010 00:35:16,881 --> 00:35:17,448 AND SPEAKING OF HEADLINES THIS 1011 00:35:17,515 --> 00:35:19,383 IS OUR LAST SHOW BEFORE WINTER 1012 00:35:19,450 --> 00:35:22,720 BREAK WE WILL BE BACK ON JANUARY 1013 00:35:22,787 --> 00:35:24,422 THAT IS BUT IT'S AN OPEN ONE IN 1014 00:35:24,489 --> 00:35:27,658 MY LIFE FOR SOME -- IT'S 1015 00:35:27,725 --> 00:35:29,760 INAUGURATION DAY. 1016 00:35:29,827 --> 00:35:31,162 BEFORE WE GO WE DO FUTURE 1017 00:35:31,229 --> 00:35:32,497 HEADLINES FOR PEOPLE WHO GET 1018 00:35:32,563 --> 00:35:35,800 THEIR NEWS FROM THIS SHOW. 1019 00:35:35,867 --> 00:35:39,570 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1020 00:35:39,637 --> 00:35:41,772 WE WILL PROVIDE THE BECAUSE WE 1021 00:35:41,839 --> 00:35:42,740 LOVE YOU THE AUDIENCE WE WILL 1022 00:35:42,807 --> 00:35:43,975 PROVIDE FOR YOU HEADLINES 1023 00:35:44,041 --> 00:35:46,177 THAT WILL BE THERE WHEN WE ARE 1024 00:35:46,244 --> 00:35:47,712 GONE SO YOU ARE NOT BEHIND. 1025 00:35:47,778 --> 00:35:48,346 THESE ARE THE FUTURE HEADLINES 1026 00:35:48,412 --> 00:35:50,481 YOU WILL SEE. 1027 00:35:50,548 --> 00:35:51,415 CHEMICAL IN MYPILLOW STUFFING 1028 00:35:51,482 --> 00:35:55,553 FOUND TO MAKE PEOPLE STUPID. 1029 00:35:55,620 --> 00:35:57,121 [LAUGHTER] 1030 00:35:57,188 --> 00:35:59,724 [APPLAUSE] 1031 00:35:59,790 --> 00:36:01,292 I GUARANTEE YOU'LL SEE THAT. 1032 00:36:01,359 --> 00:36:02,026 BITCOIN NOW WORTH LESS THAN COIN 1033 00:36:02,093 --> 00:36:09,166 COIN. 1034 00:36:09,233 --> 00:36:12,103 [LAUGHTER] 1035 00:36:12,169 --> 00:36:12,737 [APPLAUSE] 1036 00:36:12,803 --> 00:36:13,604 HERSCHEL WALKER INKS 1037 00:36:13,671 --> 00:36:18,109 SEVEN-FIGURE DEAL TO READ BOOK. 1038 00:36:18,175 --> 00:36:18,376 [LAUGHTER] 1039 00:36:18,442 --> 00:36:19,277 [APPLAUSE] 1040 00:36:19,343 --> 00:36:20,011 PARIS HILTON ENDS MARRIAGE AFTER 1041 00:36:20,077 --> 00:36:21,979 CATCHING HUSBAND WITH ANOTHER 1042 00:36:22,046 --> 00:36:26,050 MANNEQUIN. 1043 00:36:26,117 --> 00:36:26,317 [LAUGHTER] 1044 00:36:26,384 --> 00:36:27,084 [APPLAUSE] 1045 00:36:27,151 --> 00:36:28,319 TED CRUZ TO OPEN MUSEUM OF ALL 1046 00:36:28,386 --> 00:36:35,059 THE THINGS THROWN AT HIM. 1047 00:36:35,126 --> 00:36:36,260 AARP, BLM AND MAGICIANS UNION 1048 00:36:36,327 --> 00:36:37,261 ALL CALL FOR BOYCOTT OF "THAT 1049 00:36:37,328 --> 00:36:42,967 OLD BLACK MAGIC." 1050 00:36:43,034 --> 00:36:43,301 [LAUGHTER] 1051 00:36:43,367 --> 00:36:45,503 [APPLAUSE] 1052 00:36:45,570 --> 00:36:46,904 IRS QUESTIONS TRUMP TAX 1053 00:36:46,971 --> 00:36:48,272 DEDUCTION FOR "GIVING AWAY 1054 00:36:48,339 --> 00:36:54,612 TIFFANY." 1055 00:36:54,679 --> 00:37:03,521 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1056 00:37:03,588 --> 00:37:05,623 >> BI SAW YOU ON "60 MINUTES" LT 1057 00:37:05,690 --> 00:37:07,358 SUNDAY AND I WANT TO GET INTO 1058 00:37:07,425 --> 00:37:08,159 THAT BECAUSE IT'S SO 1059 00:37:08,225 --> 00:37:08,893 FASCINATING. 1060 00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:11,762 I REMEMBER 20 YEARS AGO PEOPLE 1061 00:37:11,829 --> 00:37:13,331 WERE TALKING ABOUT PAINT CHIPS 1062 00:37:13,397 --> 00:37:14,332 AND SAYING WHEN KIDS ATE PAINT 1063 00:37:14,398 --> 00:37:16,867 CHIPS BACK IN THE DAY IT FUCKED 1064 00:37:16,934 --> 00:37:18,603 THEIR BRAINS UP AND THEY THOUGHT 1065 00:37:18,669 --> 00:37:20,805 WHEN WE GOT THE LEAD OUT OF THE 1066 00:37:20,871 --> 00:37:23,207 PAINT IT ACTUALLY AFFECTED CRIME 1067 00:37:23,274 --> 00:37:24,108 20 YEARS LATER BECAUSE PEOPLE 1068 00:37:24,175 --> 00:37:25,843 WHO HAD PAINT CHIPS IN THEIR 1069 00:37:25,910 --> 00:37:26,644 BRAIN WERE COMMITTING CRIMES 1070 00:37:26,711 --> 00:37:29,981 WHEN THEY GREW UP, IT'S PROBABLY 1071 00:37:30,047 --> 00:37:30,181 TRUE. 1072 00:37:30,247 --> 00:37:31,782 WE GOT RID OF THE PAINT CHIPS, 1073 00:37:31,849 --> 00:37:35,319 BUT NOW WE HAVE TIKTOK BRAIN. 1074 00:37:35,386 --> 00:37:38,589 REALLY. 1075 00:37:38,656 --> 00:37:40,224 AND PORN FOR WHEN YOU ARE EIGHT 1076 00:37:40,291 --> 00:37:42,126 YEARS OLD ON YOUR PHONE AND 1077 00:37:42,193 --> 00:37:42,727 SMARTPHONES WHICH MAKE PEOPLE 1078 00:37:42,793 --> 00:37:44,195 STUPID AND ALL THIS STUFF WHICH 1079 00:37:44,261 --> 00:37:45,730 IS REALLY FUCKING UP KIDS 1080 00:37:45,796 --> 00:37:47,164 BRAINS, THERE'S NO OTHER WAY TO 1081 00:37:47,231 --> 00:37:47,732 SAY IT. 1082 00:37:47,798 --> 00:37:49,800 I GUESS THERE IS ANOTHER WAY TO 1083 00:37:49,867 --> 00:37:51,369 SAY IT BUT YOU PROBABLY COULDN'T 1084 00:37:51,435 --> 00:37:52,770 SAY IT THAT WAY ON CNN BUT ON 1085 00:37:52,837 --> 00:37:54,038 THIS SHOW THAT'S HOW WE A 1086 00:37:54,105 --> 00:37:56,641 SAYING IT, IT'S FUCKING UP KIDS 1087 00:37:56,707 --> 00:37:57,942 BRAINS AND NOBODY SEEMS TO CARE 1088 00:37:58,009 --> 00:38:00,044 OR BE DOING ANYTHING IT. 1089 00:38:00,111 --> 00:38:02,647 WE SHOULD BE DOING SOMETHING 1090 00:38:02,713 --> 00:38:03,180 MASSIVE, RIGHT? 1091 00:38:03,247 --> 00:38:05,116 >> I CAN SAY IT IN A DIFFERENT 1092 00:38:05,182 --> 00:38:07,952 WAY BECAUSE I'M WRITING A BOOK 1093 00:38:08,019 --> 00:38:10,187 ON WHAT HAPPENED TO GEN Z. 1094 00:38:10,254 --> 00:38:11,689 WHEN YOU LOOK AT MENTAL HEALTH 1095 00:38:11,756 --> 00:38:15,092 STATS THEY ARE PRETTY FLAT IN 1096 00:38:15,159 --> 00:38:16,794 THE EARLY 2000s AND RIGHT AT 1097 00:38:16,861 --> 00:38:18,629 2012 FOR GIRLS IT GOES WAY UP, 1098 00:38:18,696 --> 00:38:20,765 IT GOES UP FOR BOYS TOO BUT NOT 1099 00:38:20,831 --> 00:38:21,332 AS MUCH. 1100 00:38:21,399 --> 00:38:23,734 SOMETHING HAPPENED RIGHT AROUND 1101 00:38:23,801 --> 00:38:27,271 2012 -- LET'S SEE. 1102 00:38:27,338 --> 00:38:29,473 RST FRONT FACING CAMERA 1103 00:38:29,540 --> 00:38:31,575 COMES OUT, INSTAGRAM IS FOUNDED, 1104 00:38:31,642 --> 00:38:34,278 EVERYONE GOES ON STAGRAM IN 1105 00:38:34,345 --> 00:38:35,146 2012. 1106 00:38:35,212 --> 00:38:36,547 SOCIAL MEDIA FITS THE BILL BUT 1107 00:38:36,614 --> 00:38:38,015 WHAT I THINK PEOPLE NEED TO 1108 00:38:38,082 --> 00:38:40,184 UNDERSTAND IS IT'S NOT JUST KIDS 1109 00:38:40,251 --> 00:38:42,787 GOING ON SOCIAL MEDIA, IT'S THE 1110 00:38:42,853 --> 00:38:44,021 COMPLETE REWIRING OF CHILDHOOD 1111 00:38:44,088 --> 00:38:46,457 SO THAT KIDS USED TO BE OUT 1112 00:38:46,524 --> 00:38:47,725 HAVING EXPERIENCES, THAT'S WHAT 1113 00:38:47,792 --> 00:38:48,893 YOU NEED TO GROW UP AND NEED TO 1114 00:38:48,959 --> 00:38:50,561 WIRE YOUR BRAIN UP AND THEY HIT 1115 00:38:50,628 --> 00:38:52,530 PUBERTY WHICH IS ACTUALLY A 1116 00:38:52,596 --> 00:38:53,998 PERIOD OF HEIGHTENED BRAIN 1117 00:38:54,065 --> 00:38:56,067 PLASTICITY, OUR BRAINS ARE 1118 00:38:56,133 --> 00:38:58,402 OPENED TO EXPERIENCE AND THEN 1119 00:38:58,469 --> 00:38:58,936 IT'S LESS. 1120 00:38:59,003 --> 00:39:01,172 RIGHT AROUND AGE 11 TO AT 12 THE 1121 00:39:01,238 --> 00:39:03,074 BRAIN IS ALMOST LOOKING FOR MORE 1122 00:39:03,140 --> 00:39:04,275 INPUT FROM THE ENVIRONMENT, THAT 1123 00:39:04,341 --> 00:39:06,177 IS EXACTLY THE AGE AT WHICH WE 1124 00:39:06,243 --> 00:39:08,045 SAY TO GIRLS HERE YOU GO, HOPE 1125 00:39:08,112 --> 00:39:11,348 YOUR BRAIN UP TO A FIRE HOSE OF 1126 00:39:11,415 --> 00:39:15,119 SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE. 1127 00:39:15,186 --> 00:39:20,791 WHAT WAS YOUR WORD, FUCKED UP? 1128 00:39:20,858 --> 00:39:21,258 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1129 00:39:21,325 --> 00:39:22,326 >> Bill: FUCKING KIDS BRING 1130 00:39:22,393 --> 00:39:22,760 UP. 1131 00:39:22,827 --> 00:39:24,528 >> I DON'T LET MY KIDS GO ON 1132 00:39:24,595 --> 00:39:25,996 SOCIAL MEDIA I HAVE AN 1133 00:39:26,063 --> 00:39:27,531 AR-OLD AND A STUDENT BE 1134 00:39:27,598 --> 00:39:28,733 10-YEAR-OLD AND I THINK ABOUT 1135 00:39:28,799 --> 00:39:30,701 WHAT I HAND THEM, I HAVE A WATCH 1136 00:39:30,768 --> 00:39:33,070 I CAN CONTACT THEM I CAN REACH 1137 00:39:33,137 --> 00:39:34,538 THEM, THE IDEA OF HANDING 1138 00:39:34,605 --> 00:39:37,808 OVER TO MY KIDS A MACHINE THAT 1139 00:39:37,875 --> 00:39:39,143 TELLS THEM COMPARE YOURSELF TO 1140 00:39:39,210 --> 00:39:41,112 EVERYONE ELSE -- I'M NOT SOMEONE 1141 00:39:41,178 --> 00:39:42,546 WHO LIKES TO GO ON SOCIAL MEDIA 1142 00:39:42,613 --> 00:39:44,415 BECAUSE WALKING OUT YOUR FRONT 1143 00:39:44,482 --> 00:39:46,150 DOOR AND SAY ANYONE THINK I'M 1144 00:39:46,217 --> 00:39:47,351 CUTE TODAY? 1145 00:39:47,418 --> 00:39:48,786 ANYONE WANT TO CRITICIZE ME? 1146 00:39:48,853 --> 00:39:52,089 I'M HERE FOR YOU, GO AHEAD, 1147 00:39:52,156 --> 00:39:53,157 START. 1148 00:39:53,224 --> 00:39:57,294 I CANNOT IMAGINE GOING THROUGH 1149 00:39:57,361 --> 00:39:59,163 PUBERTY, GOING THROUGH 1150 00:39:59,230 --> 00:39:59,797 INSECURITIES, GOING H LIFE 1151 00:39:59,864 --> 00:40:03,234 AND NOT JUST HAVING WHATEVER 1152 00:40:03,300 --> 00:40:04,034 BULLYING WHATEVER INSECURITY IN 1153 00:40:04,101 --> 00:40:06,437 YOUR OWN CIRCLE BUT IT'S THERE 1154 00:40:06,504 --> 00:40:06,971 FOREVER AND IT FEELS LIKE 1155 00:40:07,037 --> 00:40:10,141 EVERYONE IS SEEING IT. 1156 00:40:10,207 --> 00:40:14,979 IT GOES FROM POINT A TO . C IN A 1157 00:40:15,045 --> 00:40:15,913 FEW SECONDS. 1158 00:40:15,980 --> 00:40:17,414 YOU HAVE PEOPLE FEELING INSECURE 1159 00:40:17,481 --> 00:40:19,016 INTO THEIR ADULTHOOD. 1160 00:40:19,083 --> 00:40:20,050 WE ARE TALKING ABOUT ON AIR 1161 00:40:20,117 --> 00:40:21,986 SOMEONE WILL COMMENT IN THE 1162 00:40:22,052 --> 00:40:23,454 COMMERCIAL BREAK DID ANYONE LIKE 1163 00:40:23,521 --> 00:40:25,156 IT? 1164 00:40:25,222 --> 00:40:25,923 WHAT ARE THEY SAYING? 1165 00:40:25,990 --> 00:40:27,525 THESE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE 1166 00:40:27,591 --> 00:40:29,727 GROWN-UPS, WHO HAVE LIVED A LIFE 1167 00:40:29,794 --> 00:40:30,594 BEFORE SOCIAL MEDIA. 1168 00:40:30,661 --> 00:40:31,695 IMAGINE THOSE WHO HAVE NEVER -- 1169 00:40:31,762 --> 00:40:36,500 YOU SEE KIDSOW WHO H SEEN 1170 00:40:36,567 --> 00:40:37,601 PEOPLE IN MASKS FOR MOST OF 1171 00:40:37,668 --> 00:40:39,436 THEIR LIVES TO THIS POINT HOW 1172 00:40:39,503 --> 00:40:41,005 DOES THAT SHAPE THEIR VIEW OF 1173 00:40:41,071 --> 00:40:43,174 NOW SEEING A MOUTH ONE DAY. 1174 00:40:43,240 --> 00:40:44,809 IMAGINE NOW SEEING A REAL 1175 00:40:44,875 --> 00:40:46,410 MIRROR, NOT A FILTER. 1176 00:40:46,477 --> 00:40:47,711 IT'S ALWAYS A FUN HOUSE AND I 1177 00:40:47,778 --> 00:40:51,081 MY KIDS.TAY AWAY FROM THAT FOR 1178 00:40:51,148 --> 00:40:51,949 >> Bill: DON'T YOUR KIDS 1179 00:40:52,016 --> 00:40:53,617 COMPLAIN TO YOU THAT THE OTHER 1180 00:40:53,684 --> 00:40:55,886 KIDS HAVE THIS AND WE DON'T? 1181 00:40:55,953 --> 00:40:57,154 ISN'T HARD AS A PARENT TO DO 1182 00:40:57,221 --> 00:40:59,190 THAT WHEN ALL THE OTHER KIDS 1183 00:40:59,256 --> 00:40:59,423 HAVE AT? 1184 00:40:59,490 --> 00:40:59,824 >> FOR ME? 1185 00:40:59,890 --> 00:41:02,259 NO. 1186 00:41:02,326 --> 00:41:04,361 [CHEERS AND PLAUSE] 1187 00:41:04,428 --> 00:41:05,529 WANT TO KNOW WHY -- I TELL MY 1188 00:41:05,596 --> 00:41:07,131 KIDS YOU CAN ADD IT TO THE BILL 1189 00:41:07,198 --> 00:41:10,401 FOR THERAPY IN 20 YEARS, YOU HAD 1190 00:41:10,467 --> 00:41:13,237 A BED, YOU HAD A HOUSE. 1191 00:41:13,304 --> 00:41:14,371 >> Bill: CANE YOU AN AIR 1192 00:41:14,438 --> 00:41:18,943 FIST BUMP ON THAT ONE? 1193 00:41:19,009 --> 00:41:19,543 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1194 00:41:19,610 --> 00:41:22,346 >> YOUR KIDS ARE EIGHT ANDINE? 1195 00:41:22,413 --> 00:41:23,781 THEY STILL IN ELEMENTARY 1196 00:41:23,848 --> 00:41:24,949 OL. 1197 00:41:25,015 --> 00:41:26,617 WHEN THEY GO TO MIDDLE SCHOOL MY 1198 00:41:26,684 --> 00:41:27,451 KIDS GO TO NEW YORK CITY PUBLIC 1199 00:41:27,518 --> 00:41:28,752 SCHOOLS AS SOON AS THEY HIT 1200 00:41:28,819 --> 00:41:29,920 SIXTH GRADE THEY SAYVERYBODY 1201 00:41:29,987 --> 00:41:32,289 IS ON INSTAGRAM, CAN I HAVE AN 1202 00:41:32,356 --> 00:41:33,057 INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT? 1203 00:41:33,123 --> 00:41:34,925 WE ARE ALL FACED WITH THIS TRAP, 1204 00:41:34,992 --> 00:41:35,926 NO PARENT WANTS THEIR KIDS ON 1205 00:41:35,993 --> 00:41:37,161 INSTAGM BUT WE ARE ALL FACED 1206 00:41:37,228 --> 00:41:38,696 WITH THIS TRAP BECAUSE THE OTHER 1207 00:41:38,762 --> 00:41:39,430 KIDS ARE ON IT. 1208 00:41:39,496 --> 00:41:42,166 WE DON'T WANT KIDS TO BE 1209 00:41:42,233 --> 00:41:42,933 EXCLUDED BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE 1210 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:44,368 THINGS ARE HAPPENING, THIS IS 1211 00:41:44,435 --> 00:41:45,569 WHAT'S CALLED AS A COLLECTIVE 1212 00:41:45,636 --> 00:41:47,538 ACTION PROBLEM. 1213 00:41:47,605 --> 00:41:48,739 EACH ONE OF US MIGHT BE WORSE 1214 00:41:48,806 --> 00:41:50,374 OFF IF WE TAKE OUR KID OFF AND 1215 00:41:50,441 --> 00:41:52,009 EVERYONE ELSE IS ON BUT WE WOULD 1216 00:41:52,076 --> 00:41:53,577 ALL BE BETTER OFF IF EVERYONE 1217 00:41:53,644 --> 00:41:54,011 WAS OFF. 1218 00:41:54,078 --> 00:41:55,379 WHAT WE NEED TO DO AS A STARTING 1219 00:41:55,446 --> 00:41:57,181 MOVE AND SOMETHING WE CAN ALL 1220 00:41:57,248 --> 00:41:58,415 DO, GET THE PHONES AND 1221 00:41:58,482 --> 00:42:00,351 SOCIAL MEDIA OUT OF MIDDLE 1222 00:42:00,417 --> 00:42:00,584 SCHOOL. 1223 00:42:00,651 --> 00:42:04,922 LET'S PROTECT MIDDLE SCHOOL. 1224 00:42:04,989 --> 00:42:07,124 IF YOU ARE WATCHING THIS AT 1225 00:42:07,191 --> 00:42:08,492 HOME, TALKED TO THE PRI OF 1226 00:42:08,559 --> 00:42:09,927 YOUR PARENTS MIDDLE SCHOOL AND 1227 00:42:09,994 --> 00:42:11,562 SAY CAN YOU HELP US? 1228 00:42:11,629 --> 00:42:12,663 HAVE SPOKEN AT MIDDLE SCHOOLS, 1229 00:42:12,730 --> 00:42:16,133 THEY HATE THIS TOO. 1230 00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:18,969 AS A STARTING MOVE HAVE THE NORM 1231 00:42:19,036 --> 00:42:21,171 BE NO PHONES IN SCHOOL WHEN YOU 1232 00:42:21,238 --> 00:42:22,172 COME TO SCHOOL PUT THEM IN A 1233 00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:24,441 LOCKER OR A POUCH, KIDS MUST NOT 1234 00:42:24,508 --> 00:42:26,110 HAVE ACCESS TO THEIR PHONES IN 1235 00:42:26,176 --> 00:42:27,278 SCHO -- USUALLY THE P IS 1236 00:42:27,344 --> 00:42:30,581 WE DON'T LET THEM TAKE THEM OUT, 1237 00:42:30,648 --> 00:42:31,782 NO HEROIN ADDICTS YOU CAN JUST 1238 00:42:31,849 --> 00:42:33,083 LEAVE THEM IN YOUR POCKET, DON'T 1239 00:42:33,150 --> 00:42:35,920 SHOOT UP. 1240 00:42:35,986 --> 00:42:37,755 WE HAVE TO GET IT OUT OF MIDDLE 1241 00:42:37,821 --> 00:42:38,923 SCHOOL AND WE HAVE TOTHE 1242 00:42:38,989 --> 00:42:40,057 KIDS OFF OF SOCIAL MEDIA UNTIL 1243 00:42:40,124 --> 00:42:41,425 AT LEAST HIGH SCHO 1244 00:42:41,492 --> 00:42:43,961 I THINK THE AGE NEEDS TO BE 16 1245 00:42:44,028 --> 00:42:44,862 BUT WE'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF 1246 00:42:44,929 --> 00:42:46,764 MIDDLE SCHOOL. 1247 00:42:46,830 --> 00:42:49,500 [APPLAUSE] 1248 00:42:49,566 --> 00:42:52,503 >> IF YOU ADDED UP, SOME OF THE 1249 00:42:52,569 --> 00:42:53,270 MIDDLE SCHOOL KIDS THE PARENTS 1250 00:42:53,337 --> 00:42:53,871 ROOM FOR THE INTRODUCTION OF 1251 00:42:53,938 --> 00:42:55,940 INSTAGRAM AND THEY LOVE IT. 1252 00:42:56,006 --> 00:42:57,474 LOOK AT THE AVERAGE MIDDLE 1253 00:42:57,541 --> 00:42:58,542 SCHOOL PICTURE WITHHE MOTHER 1254 00:42:58,609 --> 00:43:02,680 AND DAUGHTER OR THE FATHER ANDNS 1255 00:43:02,746 --> 00:43:04,114 GOING THEY'RE BOTH DOING IT 1256 00:43:04,181 --> 00:43:04,448 TOGETHER. 1257 00:43:04,515 --> 00:43:06,684 THEY ARE DOING IT BECAUSE THEY 1258 00:43:06,750 --> 00:43:07,785 LIKE IT. 1259 00:43:07,851 --> 00:43:09,253 I HEAR YOU AND I AGREE BUT PART 1260 00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:10,254 OF THE COLLECTIVE ACTION I THINK 1261 00:43:10,321 --> 00:43:15,492 HAS TO INCLUDE THE BUY IN FROM A 1262 00:43:15,559 --> 00:43:17,594 GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO LOVE KEEPING 1263 00:43:17,661 --> 00:43:18,329 UP WITH THE JONESES. 1264 00:43:18,395 --> 00:43:20,030 UNTIL WE SOLVE THOSE PEOPLE 1265 00:43:20,097 --> 00:43:23,167 INSTAGM FLOURISHE. 1266 00:43:23,233 --> 00:43:24,168 >> Bill: YOU MENTIONED THE 1267 00:43:24,234 --> 00:43:28,005 GIRLS, HE SAID THAT'S A MORE -- 1268 00:43:28,072 --> 00:43:29,206 >> I HAVE INTO ALL THE 1269 00:43:29,273 --> 00:43:32,943 PUBLISHED STUDIES I'VE GOT AND 1270 00:43:33,010 --> 00:43:36,780 WHAT I CAN SHOW IS THAT THE 1271 00:43:36,847 --> 00:43:37,481 CORRELATIONS BETWEEN TIME ON 1272 00:43:37,548 --> 00:43:39,750 SOCIAL MEDIA AND MENTAL HEALTH 1273 00:43:39,817 --> 00:43:40,951 PROBLEMS ARE NOT HUGE BUT THEY 1274 00:43:41,018 --> 00:43:44,488 ARE PRETTY SOLID FOR GIRLS. 1275 00:43:44,555 --> 00:43:46,724 FOR BOYS IT'S NOT SO MUCH. 1276 00:43:46,790 --> 00:43:48,192 WHAT HAPPENED AROUND 2012 AND 1277 00:43:48,258 --> 00:43:49,660 ALL THE KIDS GOT SMARTPHONES 1278 00:43:49,727 --> 00:43:51,462 RIGHT AROUND THEN, THE BOYS 1279 00:43:51,528 --> 00:43:53,097 MOSTLY WENT FOR YOUTUBE AND 1280 00:43:53,163 --> 00:43:54,064 VIDEO GAMES AND THOSE ARE NOT 1281 00:43:54,131 --> 00:43:59,603 PARTICULARLY HARMFUL BECAUSE 1282 00:43:59,670 --> 00:44:00,504 WHEN BOYS GROW UP THEY ARE PART 1283 00:44:00,571 --> 00:44:02,306 OF A PACK, HUNTING AND KILLING 1284 00:44:02,373 --> 00:44:05,409 OTHER GROUPS OF BOYS. 1285 00:44:05,476 --> 00:44:05,676 [LAUGHTER] 1286 00:44:05,743 --> 00:44:07,144 WHEN IT'S PLAYFUL IT'S NOT -- 1287 00:44:07,211 --> 00:44:08,078 THAT'S WHAT SPORTS IS. 1288 00:44:08,145 --> 00:44:09,613 >> BUT THE KILLING. 1289 00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:10,981 >> Bill: I FL LIKE WOMEN 1290 00:44:11,048 --> 00:44:13,250 WILL BE THE ONES TO LEAD US OUT 1291 00:44:13,317 --> 00:44:16,086 OF THIS BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE 1292 00:44:16,153 --> 00:44:17,221 SOCIAL MEDIA IS HATED BY WOMEN 1293 00:44:17,287 --> 00:44:19,189 BECAUSE IT TAKES AWAY THE THINGS 1294 00:44:19,256 --> 00:44:21,392 THAT THEY NEED THE MOST FROM 1295 00:44:21,458 --> 00:44:21,558 MEN. 1296 00:44:21,625 --> 00:44:23,460 YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE THE BALLS 1297 00:44:23,527 --> 00:44:25,329 BALLS TO GO UP TO A GIRL WHICH 1298 00:44:25,396 --> 00:44:27,531 THEY WANT THEY WANT YOU TO 1299 00:44:27,598 --> 00:44:28,699 DEMONSTRATE THAT. 1300 00:44:28,766 --> 00:44:30,067 I'M WILLING TO RISK REJECTION 1301 00:44:30,134 --> 00:44:31,135 AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT 1302 00:44:31,201 --> 00:44:31,835 OVER THE PHONE. 1303 00:44:31,902 --> 00:44:33,570 AND ALSO THEY WANT T BE TALKED 1304 00:44:33,637 --> 00:44:46,517 TO, WOMEN LIKE TALKING YOU. GOL 1305 00:44:46,583 --> 00:44:47,351 THEY ARE COMMUNICATIVE 1306 00:44:47,418 --> 00:44:50,087 CREATURES, MEN CAN GET A BUY 1307 00:44:50,154 --> 00:44:52,990 WITHOUT THATUT WOMEN CANNOT. 1308 00:44:53,057 --> 00:44:54,491 IF ANYBODY IS GOING TO LEAD US 1309 00:44:54,558 --> 00:44:55,059 OUT OF THIS WISS IT'S 1310 00:44:55,125 --> 00:44:58,896 GOING TO BE WOMEN -- WOMEN 1311 00:44:58,962 --> 00:45:00,564 CANNOT LIKE TENDER,NOT 1312 00:45:00,631 --> 00:45:02,499 SOMETHING THAT CONFORMS WITH 1313 00:45:02,566 --> 00:45:03,067 THEIR BIOLOGICAL IMPERATIVE 1314 00:45:03,133 --> 00:45:05,736 COMMITS PERFECT FOR A MAN. 1315 00:45:05,803 --> 00:45:06,003 WHAT'S UP? 1316 00:45:06,070 --> 00:45:09,540 MY DICK. 1317 00:45:09,606 --> 00:45:16,146 [LAUGHTER] 1318 00:45:16,213 --> 00:45:18,649 >> FOR THE SAME REASONS YOU 1319 00:45:18,715 --> 00:45:19,249 DON'T WANT NECESSARILY TO HAVE 1320 00:45:19,316 --> 00:45:20,651 TO DEMONSTRATE BAUSE IT TAKES 1321 00:45:20,717 --> 00:45:24,321 AWAY SOME OF THE INSECURITY, THE 1322 00:45:24,388 --> 00:45:25,556 IDEA OF HAVING TO DEAL WITH THE 1323 00:45:25,622 --> 00:45:28,625 MAN WHO SAYS WHAT'S UP MY DICK 1324 00:45:28,692 --> 00:45:30,194 AND SWIPING LEFT OR RIGHT, A 1325 00:45:30,260 --> 00:45:30,994 BETTER ALTERNATIVE THERE IS A 1326 00:45:31,061 --> 00:45:40,938 DISTANCING OF THAT AS WELL. 1327 00:45:41,004 --> 00:45:42,473 WOMEN CAN LEAVE US OUT OF 1328 00:45:42,539 --> 00:45:51,982 EVERYTHING, IT'S GOOD TO. 1329 00:45:52,049 --> 00:45:53,917 >> Bill: WE'LL AND THE SEASON 1330 00:45:53,984 --> 00:45:54,518 ON THAT, TIME FOR NEW RULES -- 1331 00:45:54,585 --> 00:45:55,986 THANK YOU GUYS. 1332 00:45:56,053 --> 00:45:56,620 NEW RULE: IF THEY CAN MAKE CARS 1333 00:45:56,687 --> 00:45:57,221 THAT DRIVE THEMSELVES, PARK 1334 00:45:57,287 --> 00:45:57,888 THEMSELVES, MONITOR BLIND SPOTS, 1335 00:45:57,955 --> 00:45:58,689 SENSE RAIN, KEEP YOU IN YOUR 1336 00:45:58,755 --> 00:45:59,590 LANE, TELL WHEN YOU'RE TIRED, OR 1337 00:45:59,656 --> 00:46:01,291 YOUR DRUNK, AND SEE FOR YOU AT 1338 00:46:01,358 --> 00:46:01,892 NIGHT, THEY CAN MAKE ONE THAT 1339 00:46:01,959 --> 00:46:10,734 CHANGES ITS OWN CLOCK. 1340 00:46:10,801 --> 00:46:13,470 [LAUGHTER] 1341 00:46:13,537 --> 00:46:14,204 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1342 00:46:14,271 --> 00:46:14,838 DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME, WHEN YOUR 1343 00:46:14,905 --> 00:46:19,209 CAR GETS STGAIN. 1344 00:46:19,276 --> 00:46:19,476 [LAUGHTER] 1345 00:46:19,543 --> 00:46:20,410 NEW RULE: SOMEONE HAS TO MAKE A 1346 00:46:20,477 --> 00:46:21,678 MOVIE WHERE SUPER GLUE FIGHTS 1347 00:46:21,745 --> 00:46:26,817 KRAZY GLUE. 1348 00:46:26,884 --> 00:46:27,084 [LAUGHTER] 1349 00:46:27,151 --> 00:46:27,684 AND THEN THEY REALIZE THEY 1350 00:46:27,751 --> 00:46:28,685 SHOULD BE FRIENDS AND BEAT THE 1351 00:46:28,752 --> 00:46:34,525 SHIT OUT OF GORILLA GLUE. 1352 00:46:34,591 --> 00:46:34,791 [LAUGHTER] 1353 00:46:34,858 --> 00:46:35,526 [APPLAUSE] 1354 00:46:35,592 --> 00:46:36,293 AND THEN 25 SEQUELS, FROM A NEW 1355 00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:37,427 MOVIE STUDIO THAT'S ALL ABOUT 1356 00:46:37,494 --> 00:46:38,428 THE "ADHESIVE CINEMATIC 1357 00:46:38,495 --> 00:46:42,900 UNIVERSE." 1358 00:46:42,966 --> 00:46:44,168 T'S NOT STUPIDER THAN FOUR 1359 00:46:44,234 --> 00:46:50,440 MOVIES ABOUT LEGO. 1360 00:46:50,507 --> 00:46:52,009 [LAUGHTER] 1361 00:46:52,075 --> 00:46:53,277 NEW RULE: YUSUF SHAH, THE 1362 00:46:53,343 --> 00:46:54,211 11-YEAR-OLD BRITISH KID WITH AN 1363 00:46:54,278 --> 00:46:55,245 IQ HIGHER THAN EINSTEIN HAS TO 1364 00:46:55,312 --> 00:46:56,146 EXPLAIN THE FASCINATION WITH 1365 00:46:56,213 --> 00:47:00,250 RUBIK'S CUBES. 1366 00:47:00,317 --> 00:47:02,119 FOR US NORMAL PEOPLE, THEY'RE 1367 00:47:02,186 --> 00:47:05,355 THE MOST BORING TOY EVER MADE, 1368 00:47:05,422 --> 00:47:06,523 BUT FOR THE MENSA CROWD THEY'RE 1369 00:47:06,590 --> 00:47:07,558 ENDLESSLY FASCINATING. 1370 00:47:07,624 --> 00:47:08,725 "LOOK, I CAN SOLVE IT IN THREE 1371 00:47:08,792 --> 00:47:10,360 SECONDS!" 1372 00:47:10,427 --> 00:47:11,895 NOBODY CARES, GENIUS, GO TO YOUR 1373 00:47:11,962 --> 00:47:20,637 ROOM AND SOLVE GLOBAL WARMING. 1374 00:47:20,704 --> 00:47:21,705 [LAUGHTER] 1375 00:47:21,772 --> 00:47:22,172 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1376 00:47:22,239 --> 00:47:23,807 NEW RULE: SINCE HEINZ KETCHUP 1377 00:47:23,874 --> 00:47:25,842 JUST REPORTED THAT THE DESIGN 1378 00:47:25,909 --> 00:47:28,378 FOR THEIR BOTTLE'S SQUEEZE CAP 1379 00:47:28,445 --> 00:47:32,382 INVOLVED 185,000 HOURS OF 1380 00:47:32,449 --> 00:47:34,351 PRODUCT DEVELOPMENT OVER NINE 1381 00:47:34,418 --> 00:47:38,121 YEARS AND WENT THROUGH 45 1382 00:47:38,188 --> 00:47:40,324 ITERATIONS, SOMEONE HAS TO ASK 1383 00:47:40,390 --> 00:47:41,959 THEM IF ALL THAT TIME AND ALL 1384 00:47:42,025 --> 00:47:42,893 THAT MECHANICAL TINKERING 1385 00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:43,794 INCLUDED PERFECTING THE FART 1386 00:47:43,860 --> 00:47:48,298 NOISE. 1387 00:47:48,365 --> 00:47:54,638 [LAUGHTER] 1388 00:47:54,705 --> 00:47:55,072 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1389 00:47:55,138 --> 00:47:56,139 NEW RULE: IF YOU DON'T WANT 1390 00:47:56,206 --> 00:47:56,673 AMERICANS TO THINK YOU'RE 1391 00:47:56,740 --> 00:47:57,441 CALLING US FAT COWS, YOU CAN'T 1392 00:47:57,507 --> 00:48:00,911 CALL YOUR ASIAN NOODLE 1393 00:48:00,978 --> 00:48:06,717 COMPANY "MO MO FUCK YOU." 1394 00:48:06,783 --> 00:48:06,984 [LAUGHTER] 1395 00:48:07,050 --> 00:48:10,621 [APPLAUSE] 1396 00:48:10,687 --> 00:48:12,289 THE MEAL THAT MAKES YOU SAY, 1397 00:48:12,356 --> 00:48:13,991 "HEY, WAIT A MINUTE." 1398 00:48:14,057 --> 00:48:16,860 DON'T GET CUTE WITH ASIAN FOOD.T 1399 00:48:16,927 --> 00:48:18,161 TELLS US WHAT'S IN IT. 1400 00:48:18,228 --> 00:48:24,568 LIKE PANDA EXPRESS. 1401 00:48:24,635 --> 00:48:28,171 [LAUGHTER] 1402 00:48:28,238 --> 00:48:29,973 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1403 00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:31,174 AND FINALLY, NEW RULE. 1404 00:48:31,241 --> 00:48:32,276 SINCE THIS IS OUR LAST SHOW OF 1405 00:48:32,342 --> 00:48:33,543 THE SEASON AND OUR THANKSGIVING 1406 00:48:33,610 --> 00:48:34,945 SHOW, I'D LIKE TO START TONIGHT 1407 00:48:35,012 --> 00:48:36,747 BY GIVING THANKS THIS YEAR TO 1408 00:48:36,813 --> 00:48:37,714 DONALD TRUMP AND ALL THE LOONS, 1409 00:48:37,781 --> 00:48:39,182 KARENS, KOOL-AID DRINKERS, D 1410 00:48:39,249 --> 00:48:41,551 LIST CELEBRITIES AND UNQUALIFIED 1411 00:48:41,618 --> 00:48:43,820 WEIRDOS HE PUT UP FOR OFFICE WHO 1412 00:48:43,887 --> 00:48:47,224 SCARED SOME SENSE INTO AMERICA 1413 00:48:47,291 --> 00:48:52,429 ON ELECTION DAY AND THUS MADE 1414 00:48:52,496 --> 00:48:58,869 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1415 00:48:58,935 --> 00:49:00,270 THIS HOLIDAY SEASON SO MUCH 1416 00:49:00,337 --> 00:49:01,305 BRIGHTER FOR ME AND MILLIONS OF 1417 00:49:01,371 --> 00:49:04,908 OTHER AMERICANS. 1418 00:49:04,975 --> 00:49:09,613 THANK YOU, REPUBLICAN DOUCHEBAGS 1419 00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:14,284 CLASS OF "22. 1420 00:49:14,351 --> 00:49:15,052 THANK YOU DOUG 1421 00:49:15,118 --> 00:49:15,919 MASTRIANO AND TUDOR DIXON, KARI 1422 00:49:15,986 --> 00:49:17,321 LAKE AND BLAKE MASTERS AND ALL 1423 00:49:17,387 --> 00:49:19,990 THE OTHER ELECTION DENIERS WHO 1424 00:49:20,057 --> 00:49:22,326 RAN FOR SECRETARY OF STATE AND 1425 00:49:22,392 --> 00:49:23,860 GOVERNOR IN SWING STATES AND 1426 00:49:23,927 --> 00:49:24,928 LOST -- WHICH WAS ALMOST ALL OF 1427 00:49:24,995 --> 00:49:29,333 THEM! 1428 00:49:29,399 --> 00:49:30,267 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1429 00:49:30,334 --> 00:49:32,102 AND THANKS TO DECENT REPUBLICANS 1430 00:49:32,169 --> 00:49:36,006 LIKE BRAD RAFFENSPERGER WHO 1431 00:49:36,073 --> 00:49:36,573 DEFIED TRUMP AND WON. 1432 00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:37,407 YES, IN 2022, AGAINST 1433 00:49:37,474 --> 00:49:40,210 EVERYBODY'S PREDICTIONS -- 1434 00:49:40,277 --> 00:49:43,714 EXCEPT MICHAEL MOORE -- THE 1435 00:49:43,780 --> 00:49:45,048 DENIERS LOST AND THE DEFIERS 1436 00:49:45,115 --> 00:49:46,216 WON. 1437 00:49:46,283 --> 00:49:47,951 AND AMERICA SHOWED THE WORLD 1438 00:49:48,018 --> 00:49:48,785 THAT THE REPORTS OF OUR DEATH 1439 00:49:48,852 --> 00:49:55,592 WERE SLIGHTLY EXAGGERATED! 1440 00:49:55,659 --> 00:49:57,961 [LAUGHTER] 1441 00:49:58,028 --> 00:49:58,428 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1442 00:49:58,495 --> 00:50:01,331 WE WENT FROM "GOD DAMN AMERICA" 1443 00:50:01,398 --> 00:50:06,136 TO "GODDAMN, AMERICA!" 1444 00:50:06,203 --> 00:50:08,138 - MAYBE WE'RE NOT QUITE AS CRAZY 1445 00:50:08,205 --> 00:50:08,605 AS WE LOOK. 1446 00:50:08,672 --> 00:50:09,906 REPUBLICANS SHOWED THEY 1447 00:50:09,973 --> 00:50:11,375 DUMP THEIR BAGGAGE, AND 1448 00:50:11,441 --> 00:50:12,075 INDEPENDENTS SHOWED THEY COULD 1449 00:50:12,142 --> 00:50:18,749 ACTUALLY BE INDEPENDENT! 1450 00:50:18,815 --> 00:50:20,517 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1451 00:50:20,584 --> 00:50:22,919 USUALLY THEY'RE JUST CLOSET 1452 00:50:22,986 --> 00:50:24,788 REPUBLICANS, BUT THIS YEAR THEY 1453 00:50:24,855 --> 00:50:25,522 DID WHAT THEY NEVER DO IN 1454 00:50:25,589 --> 00:50:26,623 MIDTERMS, CAME OUT IN FOR 1455 00:50:26,690 --> 00:50:28,592 THE PARTY IN POWER, AND TOLD THE 1456 00:50:28,658 --> 00:50:30,560 PARTY THAT RAN ON A PLATFORM OF 1457 00:50:30,627 --> 00:50:31,995 "FUCK ELECTIONS": GO FUCK 1458 00:50:32,062 --> 00:50:39,169 YOURSELVES. 1459 00:50:39,236 --> 00:50:43,473 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1460 00:50:43,540 --> 00:50:46,009 SOMETIMES THIS COUNTRY SURPRISES 1461 00:50:46,076 --> 00:50:48,211 YOU WITH ITS ABILITY TO REVERT 1462 00:50:48,278 --> 00:50:50,313 BACK TO SANE: WE SAW IT WHEN WE 1463 00:50:50,380 --> 00:50:51,715 ELECTED THE FIRST BLACK 1464 00:50:51,782 --> 00:50:53,450 PRESIDENT, AND WE SAW IT WITH 1465 00:50:53,517 --> 00:50:56,186 THE ACCEPTANCE OF GAY MARRIAGE, 1466 00:50:56,253 --> 00:51:00,424 AND WITH THE END OF DISCO. 1467 00:51:00,490 --> 00:51:01,224 [LAUGHTER] 1468 00:51:01,291 --> 00:51:02,459 WE SAW IT WHEN WE ENDED 1469 00:51:02,526 --> 00:51:03,827 PROHIBITION AND SEGREGATION AND 1470 00:51:03,894 --> 00:51:05,061 STOPPED ALLOWING DOCTORS TO 1471 00:51:05,128 --> 00:51:11,034 SMOKE DURING SURGERY. 1472 00:51:11,101 --> 00:51:12,235 ONE DAY WE MAY EVEN STOP MAKING 1473 00:51:12,302 --> 00:51:18,475 COMIC BOOK MOVIES. 1474 00:51:18,542 --> 00:51:18,742 [LAU 1475 00:51:18,809 --> 00:51:19,009 LAUSE] 1476 00:51:19,075 --> 00:51:20,343 SURE WE'RE A COUNTRY THAT CHOSE 1477 00:51:20,410 --> 00:51:21,344 TO DELIBERATELY EAT TIDE PODS, 1478 00:51:21,411 --> 00:51:22,512 BUT HOW "BOUT SOME CREDIT FOR 1479 00:51:22,579 --> 00:51:27,551 WHEN WE EVENTUALLY STOPPED? 1480 00:51:27,617 --> 00:51:27,818 [LAUGHTER] 1481 00:51:27,884 --> 00:51:28,385 BUT THIS YEAR -- THIS YEAR WAS 1482 00:51:28,452 --> 00:51:29,319 SOMETHING SPECIAL. 1483 00:51:29,386 --> 00:51:30,387 OUR BETTER ANGELS HAVEN'T PUT UP 1484 00:51:30,454 --> 00:51:32,055 A WIN LIKE THAT IN A LONG TIME. 1485 00:51:32,122 --> 00:51:38,595 TURNS OUT, WE'RE NOT GUILTY BY 1486 00:51:38,662 --> 00:51:39,529 REASON OF INSANITY, AND RIGHT 1487 00:51:39,596 --> 00:51:40,096 NOW 1488 00:51:40,163 --> 00:51:41,431 I FEEL LIKE WE'RE HAVING A "NOT 1489 00:51:41,498 --> 00:51:42,065 AS CRAZY AS WE THOUGHT" MOMENT 1490 00:51:42,132 --> 00:51:45,101 -- LET'S KEEP IT GOING. 1491 00:51:45,168 --> 00:51:49,339 LET'S KEEP IT GOING. 1492 00:51:49,406 --> 00:51:51,475 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1493 00:51:51,541 --> 00:51:54,110 LET'S RALLY THE NORMIES, WHICH 1494 00:51:54,177 --> 00:51:56,146 WE NOW REALIZE ARE STILL MOST OF 1495 00:51:56,213 --> 00:51:57,581 US, AND BULLY THE BULLIES ON THE 1496 00:51:57,647 --> 00:51:59,249 EXTREME ENDS WHO ARE SUCH A TINY 1497 00:51:59,316 --> 00:52:00,951 PART OF US, AND YET THANKS TO 1498 00:52:01,017 --> 00:52:02,519 SOCIAL MEDIA AND PARTISAN 1499 00:52:02,586 --> 00:52:05,322 POLITICS AREBLE TO HOG THE 1500 00:52:05,388 --> 00:52:08,692 MEGAPHONE AND MAKE EVERYTHINGSU. 1501 00:52:08,758 --> 00:52:10,727 OUR FRIEND JONATHAN HERE NOTED 1502 00:52:10,794 --> 00:52:12,062 60 MINUTES LAST WEEK THAT THE 1503 00:52:12,128 --> 00:52:13,230 EXTREMISTS ARE ONLY ABOUT SEVEN 1504 00:52:13,296 --> 00:52:14,598 TO EIGHT PERCENT ON BOTH SIDES, 1505 00:52:14,664 --> 00:52:16,166 AND YET THEY GET 90% OF THE 1506 00:52:16,233 --> 00:52:18,201 MEDIA ATTENTION. 1507 00:52:18,268 --> 00:52:20,737 92% OF ALL TWEETS IN THIS 1508 00:52:20,804 --> 00:52:23,073 TRY COME FROM 10% OF USERS. 1509 00:52:23,139 --> 00:52:24,808 WHY ARE WE LETTING 15% OF THE 1510 00:52:24,875 --> 00:52:26,009 LATION MAKE US ALL 1511 00:52:26,076 --> 00:52:28,011 MISERABLE? 1512 00:52:28,078 --> 00:52:29,479 IT'S LIKE WE'RE LETTING THE 1513 00:52:29,546 --> 00:52:36,720 CRYING BABY FLY THE PLANE. 1514 00:52:36,786 --> 00:52:40,156 [LAUGHTER] 1515 00:52:40,223 --> 00:52:41,224 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1516 00:52:41,291 --> 00:52:43,960 ALL THE "NORMAL" REPUBLICANS WHO 1517 00:52:44,027 --> 00:52:45,562 STEPPED UP LAST WEEK -- GREAT 1518 00:52:45,629 --> 00:52:48,465 BEGINNING, LET'S KEEP IT GOING. 1519 00:52:48,532 --> 00:52:50,534 DON'T STAY SILENT INSANITY 1520 00:52:50,600 --> 00:52:53,036 JUST BECAUSE IT'S COMING FROM 1521 00:52:53,103 --> 00:52:54,571 YOUR TEAM -- CALL OUT THE 1522 00:52:54,638 --> 00:52:57,107 RACY STUFF. 1523 00:52:57,173 --> 00:52:59,643 MARGINALIZE THE PEOPLE WHO 1524 00:52:59,709 --> 00:53:05,282 BELIEVE IN CRISIS ACTORS AND 1525 00:53:05,348 --> 00:53:05,549 [LAUGHTER] 1526 00:53:05,615 --> 00:53:06,516 LIZARD PEOPLE, AND WHO THINK 1527 00:53:06,583 --> 00:53:07,517 DEMOCRATS EAT BABIES OR RUN 1528 00:53:07,584 --> 00:53:08,518 PEDOPHILE RINGS 1529 00:53:08,585 --> 00:53:10,353 JEWISH SPACE LASERS? 1530 00:53:10,420 --> 00:53:19,529 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A JEWISH 1531 00:53:19,596 --> 00:53:25,602 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1532 00:53:25,669 --> 00:53:26,803 SPACE LASER IS, BUT I KNOW EVEN 1533 00:53:26,870 --> 00:53:27,437 KYRIE IRVING DOESN'T BELIEVE IN 1534 00:53:27,504 --> 00:53:33,376 IT. 1535 00:53:33,443 --> 00:53:34,744 [LAUGHTER] 1536 00:53:34,811 --> 00:53:35,345 WE ALL NEED TO CALL OUT THE 1537 00:53:35,412 --> 00:53:36,313 PEOPLE OF BAD FAITH ON BOTH 1538 00:53:36,379 --> 00:53:37,581 SIDES WHO PRETEND THINGS THEY 1539 00:53:37,647 --> 00:53:38,582 KNOW ARE NOT TRUE -- LIKE VOTER 1540 00:53:38,648 --> 00:53:39,950 FRAUD. 1541 00:53:40,016 --> 00:53:41,418 IT'S BEEN STUDIED A MILLION 1542 00:53:41,484 --> 00:53:44,020 TIMES, IT DOESN'T EXIST. 1543 00:53:44,087 --> 00:53:45,822 THERE JUST AREN'T HORDES OF 1544 00:53:45,889 --> 00:53:49,159 PEOPLE SHOWING UP IN GREY HRED 1545 00:53:49,225 --> 00:53:50,627 WIGS PRETENDING TO BE DEAD 1546 00:53:50,694 --> 00:53:51,895 PEOPLE AKING PRISON TO 1547 00:53:51,962 --> 00:53:57,133 VOTE FOR PATRICK LEAHY. 1548 00:53:57,200 --> 00:53:58,668 [LAUGHTER] 1549 00:53:58,735 --> 00:53:59,803 VOTING TWICE? 1550 00:53:59,869 --> 00:54:04,841 IT'S HARD ENOUGH TO VOTE ONCE. 1551 00:54:04,908 --> 00:54:06,843 YOU ADMIT THAT, AND LIBERALS 1552 00:54:06,910 --> 00:54:07,944 WILL ADMIT THAT GETTING A 1553 00:54:08,011 --> 00:54:09,913 PICTURE I.D. 1554 00:54:09,980 --> 00:54:11,781 IS NOT A HERCULEAN BURDEN THAT 1555 00:54:11,848 --> 00:54:13,617 MINORITIES CAN'T MANAGE LIKE 1556 00:54:13,683 --> 00:54:14,918 ANYBODY ELSE, AND WHICH MOST 1557 00:54:14,985 --> 00:54:21,191 DON'T EVEN OBJECT TO. 1558 00:54:21,257 --> 00:54:23,827 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1559 00:54:23,893 --> 00:54:25,328 WE NEED MORE GRAND BARGAINS LIKE 1560 00:54:25,395 --> 00:54:25,895 THAT -- EVERYONE'S ALWAYS 1561 00:54:25,962 --> 00:54:26,896 TALKING ABOUT HOW E TIRED 1562 00:54:26,963 --> 00:54:27,998 OF THE EXTREMISTS AND HOW THEY 1563 00:54:28,064 --> 00:54:28,865 LONG FOR COME -- THEN DO 1564 00:54:28,932 --> 00:54:29,799 IT! 1565 00:54:29,866 --> 00:54:31,267 MAKE DEALS! 1566 00:54:31,334 --> 00:54:32,469 STOP FLIRTING WITH 1567 00:54:32,535 --> 00:54:33,603 AUTHORITARIANISM, AND 'LL STOP 1568 00:54:33,670 --> 00:54:42,612 FLIRTING WITH COMMUNISM. 1569 00:54:42,679 --> 00:54:43,079 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1570 00:54:43,146 --> 00:54:46,950 STOP SAYING DEMOCRATS EAT 1571 00:54:47,017 --> 00:54:48,118 BABIES, AND WE'LL STOP SAYING 1572 00:54:48,184 --> 00:54:54,691 MEN CAN HAVE THEM. 1573 00:54:54,758 --> 00:54:58,028 [LAUGHTER] 1574 00:54:58,094 --> 00:55:00,764 STOP DENYING THE ICECAPS ARELTIG 1575 00:55:00,830 --> 00:55:07,337 TO DISBAND ICE. 1576 00:55:07,404 --> 00:55:07,804 [CAND APPLAUSE] 1577 00:55:07,871 --> 00:55:08,605 STOP SAYING THERE'S A WAR ON 1578 00:55:08,672 --> 00:55:09,673 CHRISTMAS AND WE'LL ADMIT 1579 00:55:09,739 --> 00:55:19,816 KWANZAA IS COMPLETELY MADE UP. 1580 00:55:19,883 --> 00:55:21,584 [LAUGHTER] 1581 00:55:21,651 --> 00:55:22,552 KEEP A LID ON THE PROUD BOYS AND 1582 00:55:22,619 --> 00:55:23,486 WE'LL SEE WHAT WE CAN DO ABOUT 1583 00:55:23,553 --> 00:55:24,821 KANYE. 1584 00:55:24,888 --> 00:55:25,855 AND LET'S ALL AGREE TO FORM A 1585 00:55:25,922 --> 00:55:27,357 LESS PSYCHO UNION. 1586 00:55:27,424 --> 00:55:30,894 OKAY, THAT'S OUR SHOW. 1587 00:55:30,960 --> 00:55:32,462 WE'RE OFF FOR THE HOLIDAYS AND 1588 00:55:32,529 --> 00:55:33,830 BACK JANUARY 20TH. 1589 00:55:33,897 --> 00:55:36,633 I'LL BE AT THE MIRAGE AS, 1590 00:55:36,700 --> 00:55:38,201 NOVEMBER 25TH & 26TH, THE MAUI 1591 00:55:38,268 --> 00:55:41,237 ARTS & CULTURAL CENTER, DECEMBER 1592 00:55:41,304 --> 00:55:42,372 30TH, AND AT THE WAIKIKI SHELL 1593 00:55:42,439 --> 00:55:46,843 ON NEW YEAR'S EVE. 1594 00:55:46,910 --> 00:55:49,879 I WANT TO THANK MY GUESTS -- 1595 00:55:49,946 --> 00:55:50,547 WAIT A SECOND. 1596 00:55:50,613 --> 00:55:52,615 I ALSO WANT TO SAY THANK YOU TO 1597 00:55:52,682 --> 00:55:56,886 MY BRILLIANT STAFF AND THEIR 1598 00:55:56,953 --> 00:55:57,353 BRILLIANT INSIGHTS AND 1599 00:55:57,420 --> 00:55:58,655 INCREDIBLE COMPETENCE THAT THEY 1600 00:55:58,722 --> 00:56:01,591 LEND ME ALL YEAR LONG AND HBO -- 1601 00:56:01,658 --> 00:56:02,659 20 YEARS TOGETHER! 1602 00:56:02,726 --> 00:56:03,426 THANK YOU FOR THAT. 1603 00:56:03,493 --> 00:56:05,662 WILL NOT SEE YOU NEXT YEAR, GO 1604 00:56:05,729 --> 00:56:07,230 TO YOUTUBE AND JOIN US ON 1605 00:56:07,297 --> 00:56:11,201 OVERTIME, THANK YOU. 1606 00:56:11,267 --> 00:56:24,814 ♪ ♪ 1607 00:56:24,881 --> 00:56:40,196 ♪ ♪ 1608 00:56:40,263 --> 00:56:41,264 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]