1
00:01:09,312 --> 00:01:12,114
SO ARE YOU ENJOYING YOUR
HONEY-NUT LITTLE GIRLIE Os?
2
00:01:12,181 --> 00:01:13,049
THEY'RE LEPRECHAUN Os.
3
00:01:13,115 --> 00:01:15,184
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT
FLOATING AROUND IN THERE,
4
00:01:15,251 --> 00:01:17,487
LITTLE MARSHMALLOW PANTIES?
5
00:01:17,553 --> 00:01:18,621
HA HA HA HA.
6
00:01:18,688 --> 00:01:20,423
YOUR SON'S
A PANTY EATER.
7
00:01:20,490 --> 00:01:22,458
Dad and Grandma:
♪ PANTY EATER, PANTY EATER ♪
8
00:01:22,525 --> 00:01:24,460
♪ JOHNNY'S A PANTY EATER ♪
9
00:01:24,527 --> 00:01:25,461
[DOORBELL RINGS]
10
00:01:25,528 --> 00:01:26,762
♪ THEY'RE
MYSTICALLY NUTRITIOUS ♪
11
00:01:26,829 --> 00:01:27,763
YOU SHOULD TRY SOME.
12
00:01:27,830 --> 00:01:28,831
BOY.
13
00:01:30,466 --> 00:01:32,301
HELLO.
GOOD MORNING, SIR.
14
00:01:32,368 --> 00:01:35,404
I'M LOOKING FOR
A JOHNNY O'JENKINS.
15
00:01:35,471 --> 00:01:36,272
WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
16
00:01:36,339 --> 00:01:41,143
YOU HAVE WON
A GLORIOUS PRIZE. IT'S THE--
17
00:01:41,210 --> 00:01:42,445
JOHNNY, PAY ATTENTION.
18
00:01:42,512 --> 00:01:46,449
THIS IS HOW A MAN HANDLES
BASIC SOCIAL INTERACTION.
19
00:01:46,516 --> 00:01:48,551
GET OFF MY FRONT LAWN,
SHORTY!
20
00:01:48,618 --> 00:01:52,455
YOU MESS WITH THE LEPRECHAUNS,
YOU GET THE CLOVERS.
21
00:01:52,522 --> 00:01:54,724
YOU SON OF A BITCH.
YOU PERVERT!
22
00:01:54,790 --> 00:01:58,528
YOU'RE FUCKIN' DEAD, YOU FAT,
OLD, UGLY COCKSUCKER.
23
00:01:58,594 --> 00:02:01,597
JOHNNY, IF YOU'RE EVER
IN A FIGHT WITH A MIDGET,
24
00:02:01,664 --> 00:02:04,567
REMEMBER
THEY HAVE WEAK KIDNEYS.
25
00:02:04,634 --> 00:02:06,369
NO! NOT MY KIDNEYS!
26
00:02:06,435 --> 00:02:08,170
THEY'RE SO WEAK!
27
00:02:08,237 --> 00:02:10,439
WELL, SHOULD
HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT
28
00:02:10,506 --> 00:02:11,607
BEFORE YOU RANG MY DOORBELL.
29
00:02:11,674 --> 00:02:14,443
SEE, JOHNNY?
YOUR OLD MAN'S STILL GOT IT.
30
00:02:14,510 --> 00:02:17,847
THUNDER AND LIGHTNING,
BABY. OH, YEAH.
31
00:02:17,914 --> 00:02:18,948
THUNDER AND LIGHTNING.
32
00:02:19,015 --> 00:02:20,082
LET IT BE A LESSON
TO YOU.
33
00:02:20,149 --> 00:02:23,953
DAD, I'LL NEVER FORGET WHAT
I'VE LEARNED HERE TODAY.
34
00:02:24,654 --> 00:02:27,957
GOOD, NOW
CLEAN THIS MESS UP.
35
00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:30,259
HOLY COW!
36
00:02:30,326 --> 00:02:32,929
I WON THE LEPRECHAUN Os
SWEEPSTAKES.
37
00:02:32,995 --> 00:02:35,731
CLAY, I WON
A FREE TRIP TO MEXICO.
38
00:02:35,798 --> 00:02:36,933
YOU WANNA COME WITH ME?
39
00:02:36,999 --> 00:02:38,167
MEXICO?
40
00:02:38,234 --> 00:02:41,604
NO WAY. I'D RATHER SIT AT HOME
AND CHILL FOR THE NEXT WEEK.
41
00:02:41,671 --> 00:02:43,940
COME ON.
IT'LL BE FUN.
42
00:02:49,312 --> 00:02:50,947
NO. SITTING
AT HOME'S FUNNER.
43
00:02:51,013 --> 00:02:52,815
IT'S "MORE FUN,"
NOT "FUNNER."
44
00:02:52,882 --> 00:02:53,816
I WAS ABOUT TO AGREE,
45
00:02:53,883 --> 00:02:55,785
BUT NOW THAT YOU'VE
CORRECTED ME,
46
00:02:55,851 --> 00:02:56,686
I DON'T WANT TO GO.
47
00:02:56,752 --> 00:02:58,554
WHAT ABOUT ANGUS?
WOULDN'T HE WANT TO GO?
48
00:02:58,621 --> 00:03:01,223
ANGUS DOESN'T
LIKE MEXICO.
49
00:03:01,290 --> 00:03:03,392
OH. I ALWAYS THOUGHT
HE LOVED IT.
50
00:03:03,459 --> 00:03:05,661
OH, WELL, I CAN'T
CONVINCE BOTH OF YOU.
51
00:03:05,728 --> 00:03:07,396
HOLD, PLEASE.
52
00:03:07,463 --> 00:03:08,965
IF YOU CONTINUE
TO HOLD YOUR BREATH,
53
00:03:09,031 --> 00:03:11,267
YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO
COME TO MEXICO WITH US.
54
00:03:11,334 --> 00:03:12,835
ALL RIGHT, JOHNNY.
YOU CONVINCED ME.
55
00:03:12,902 --> 00:03:13,636
WE'RE GOING TO MEXICO.
56
00:03:13,703 --> 00:03:16,539
YAY! GREAT!
I'LL PACK AND COME OVER.
57
00:03:16,606 --> 00:03:18,708
[CHATTERS]
58
00:03:19,909 --> 00:03:20,943
HI, JOHNNY.
59
00:03:21,010 --> 00:03:22,078
HI, PAULA.
60
00:03:22,144 --> 00:03:25,448
GOT SOME EXCITING PLANS
THAT INVOLVE THE BOTH OF US.
61
00:03:25,514 --> 00:03:26,949
YOU DO?
62
00:03:25,514 --> 00:03:26,949
IT'S GONNA BE AWESOME.
63
00:03:27,016 --> 00:03:30,252
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS
WEEKEND FOR A LONG TIME.
64
00:03:30,319 --> 00:03:30,953
YOU HAVE?
65
00:03:31,020 --> 00:03:33,389
YEAH,
I'VE BEEN DREAMING OF IT
66
00:03:33,456 --> 00:03:35,291
SINCE
I WAS A LITTLE GIRL,
67
00:03:35,358 --> 00:03:37,827
BUT I'VE BEEN TOO EMBARRASSED
TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT.
68
00:03:37,893 --> 00:03:40,029
THAT'S EXACTLY
HOW I FEEL, PAULA.
69
00:03:40,096 --> 00:03:41,931
I'VE BEEN
DREAMING OF IT AS WELL.
70
00:03:41,998 --> 00:03:45,301
MY WHOLE LIFE
I'VE WANTED TO...
71
00:03:45,368 --> 00:03:46,836
YES? YES? YES?
72
00:03:46,902 --> 00:03:48,771
GO TO PONY CAMP!
73
00:03:48,838 --> 00:03:49,372
ME, TOO!
74
00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,941
JOHNNY, ARE YOU GAY?
75
00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,941
NO!
76
00:03:52,008 --> 00:03:55,411
WELL, A GUY WANTING TO GO
TO PONY CAMP IS GAY.
77
00:03:55,478 --> 00:03:56,846
IF YOU WANT,
I CAN FIND OUT
78
00:03:56,912 --> 00:03:58,714
IF THERE'S A PONY CAMP
FOR GAY GUYS.
79
00:03:58,781 --> 00:04:00,850
BUT I'M NOT GAY.
I DON'T EVEN LIKE PONIES.
80
00:04:00,916 --> 00:04:02,918
JOHNNY,
HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT?
81
00:04:02,985 --> 00:04:05,287
I'M SORRY. I DON'T
KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.
82
00:04:05,354 --> 00:04:06,088
I'M DRUNK.
83
00:04:06,155 --> 00:04:08,324
WELL, DON'T GET DRUNK
THIS WEEKEND,
84
00:04:08,391 --> 00:04:11,460
BECAUSE I NEED YOU
TO TAKE CARE OF MY DOG TOOTSIE.
85
00:04:11,527 --> 00:04:12,043
YOU DO?
86
00:04:11,527 --> 00:04:12,043
YEAH.
87
00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:12,261
YOU DO?
88
00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:12,261
YEAH.
89
00:04:12,328 --> 00:04:14,463
YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE
I TRUST ENOUGH,
90
00:04:14,530 --> 00:04:17,333
WELL, WHO'S NOT DOING
ANYTHING THIS WEEKEND.
91
00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:18,534
I'M FLATTERED.
92
00:04:18,601 --> 00:04:20,736
I KNEW YOU'D
NEVER LET ME DOWN.
93
00:04:20,803 --> 00:04:22,605
WELL, HERE
ARE ALL HER TOYS,
94
00:04:22,672 --> 00:04:24,473
HER BLANKIES,
AND TREATS.
95
00:04:24,540 --> 00:04:27,943
AND HERE'S TOOTSIE.
96
00:04:28,377 --> 00:04:31,814
THERE'S MY RIDE.
THANKS, JOHNNY!
97
00:04:33,949 --> 00:04:38,954
I WISH SHE'D JUMP
ON MY FACE LIKE THAT.
98
00:04:41,424 --> 00:04:44,427
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT
HIDING BACK THERE?
99
00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:47,029
THE DAY YOU PULL
ONE OVER ON ME, KIDDO,
100
00:04:47,096 --> 00:04:51,701
IS THE DAY I START
LACTATING AGAIN.
101
00:04:51,901 --> 00:04:54,036
YOU CALL THIS
A PAYCHECK? HUH.
102
00:04:54,103 --> 00:04:56,572
DON'T EXPECT ME
TO GO ANOTHER WEEK
103
00:04:56,639 --> 00:04:57,840
WITHOUT GETTING
MY NAILS DONE.
104
00:04:57,907 --> 00:05:02,378
AND IT'S COMING OUT
OF YOUR LIQUOR MONEY.
105
00:05:02,445 --> 00:05:04,380
MA, IT'S NOT MY FAULT.
106
00:05:04,447 --> 00:05:05,815
IT'S THE ECONOMY.
107
00:05:05,881 --> 00:05:06,882
EXCUSES!
108
00:05:06,949 --> 00:05:10,920
MY FRIEND MADGE'S SON
JUST BOUGHT HER A NEW CAR.
109
00:05:10,986 --> 00:05:13,055
AND WHEN SHE ASKS ME
ABOUT YOU,
110
00:05:13,122 --> 00:05:15,091
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED
TO SAY? HUH?!
111
00:05:15,157 --> 00:05:18,728
YOU COULD SAY I JUST KICKED
A LEPRECHAUN'S ASS.
112
00:05:18,794 --> 00:05:21,097
[SOBBING]
113
00:05:21,163 --> 00:05:23,666
Y-YOU BREAK MY HEART.
114
00:05:23,733 --> 00:05:26,836
YOU HAD SO MUCH PROMISE.
NOW LOOK AT YOU.
115
00:05:26,902 --> 00:05:29,538
MA, I'M GONNA
MAKE YOU PROUD
116
00:05:29,605 --> 00:05:31,774
AS SOON AS I GET
MY DRIVER'S LICENSE BACK.
117
00:05:31,841 --> 00:05:33,976
YOU'LL SEE.
MY SALES'LL SKYROCKET.
118
00:05:34,043 --> 00:05:38,881
WHAT HAPPENED TO
YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE?
119
00:05:44,019 --> 00:05:45,020
UH, PARKING TICKETS?
120
00:05:45,087 --> 00:05:48,124
HOW IN THE HELL ARE YOU
SUPPOSED TO SELL ANYTHING
121
00:05:48,190 --> 00:05:52,061
IF YOU CAN'T GET TO YOUR
ACCOUNTS? ASSHOLE.
122
00:05:52,128 --> 00:05:52,862
WILL YOU DRIVE ME?
123
00:05:52,928 --> 00:05:54,964
SIT UP STRAIGHT.
TUCK IN YOUR SHIRT.
124
00:05:55,030 --> 00:05:56,465
WIPE THAT SMIRK
OFF YOUR FACE.
125
00:05:56,532 --> 00:05:58,701
COMB YOUR HAIR.
FIX YOUR TIE.
126
00:05:58,768 --> 00:06:00,669
PEOPLE WON'T
TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY
127
00:06:00,736 --> 00:06:02,138
IF YOU LOOK
LIKE A SLOB.
128
00:06:02,204 --> 00:06:05,141
YOUR FATHER WOULDN'T
HAVE BEEN CAUGHT DEAD
129
00:06:05,207 --> 00:06:06,675
WEARING THOSE PANTS.
130
00:06:06,742 --> 00:06:09,512
ACTUALLY, THESE ARE
THE PANTS HE DIED IN.
131
00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:10,813
NO SHIT?
132
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:11,981
HOW DID YOU
GET THOSE?
133
00:06:12,047 --> 00:06:15,684
DAD, ARE YOU SURE
WE SHOULD BE DOING THIS?
134
00:06:15,751 --> 00:06:18,454
I JUST BOUGHT HIM
THESE PANTS. SHUT UP!
135
00:06:18,521 --> 00:06:20,856
OK, HERE'S
YOUR FIRST ACCOUNT.
136
00:06:20,923 --> 00:06:24,126
LET'S JUST HOPE SOME OF YOUR
FATHER'S BUSINESS SAVVY
137
00:06:24,193 --> 00:06:24,994
RUBBED OFF ON YOU.
138
00:06:25,060 --> 00:06:28,130
DON'T WORRY, MA.
IT'S ALL RUBBED OFF NOW.
139
00:06:28,197 --> 00:06:29,265
WHEN
YOU GO IN THERE,
140
00:06:29,331 --> 00:06:32,134
DON'T TELL THEM WHY YOU
HAVEN'T BEEN COMING AROUND!
141
00:06:32,201 --> 00:06:33,702
I'M NOT THAT STUPID, MA.
142
00:06:33,769 --> 00:06:35,838
AND REMEMBER TO GIVE 'EM
A FIRM HANDSHAKE
143
00:06:35,905 --> 00:06:37,573
AND MAKE EYE CONTACT.
144
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:38,507
RIGHT. EYE CONTACT.
145
00:06:38,574 --> 00:06:41,710
I'M GONNA GO IN THERE
AND GIVE 'EM HELL, MA.
146
00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:42,611
YOU'LL SEE.
147
00:06:42,678 --> 00:06:45,447
ZIP YOUR FLY, SCHMUCK.
148
00:06:45,514 --> 00:06:47,016
IT'S OPEN.
149
00:06:47,082 --> 00:06:47,983
I HAVE BAD NEWS.
150
00:06:48,050 --> 00:06:48,918
I CAN'T GO TO MEXICO.
151
00:06:48,984 --> 00:06:51,554
I HAVE TO TAKE CARE
OF PAULA'S DOG TOOTSIE.
152
00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:52,521
WELL, THAT'S OK.
153
00:06:52,588 --> 00:06:54,456
JUST GIVE ME THE TICKET,
AND I'LL BRING A GIRL.
154
00:06:54,523 --> 00:06:56,625
OK.
155
00:07:11,774 --> 00:07:14,877
PLEASE, ALLOW ME.
156
00:07:14,944 --> 00:07:16,145
CLAY?
157
00:07:16,212 --> 00:07:17,046
DAMN.
158
00:07:17,112 --> 00:07:19,248
THIS BITCH HAS GOT
SOME KICKING PHEROMONES.
159
00:07:19,315 --> 00:07:22,184
[SNIFFS]
160
00:07:22,251 --> 00:07:23,118
I KNOW.
161
00:07:23,185 --> 00:07:27,223
I CAN'T WAIT TO SPEND
THE WEEKEND WITH HER.
162
00:07:27,289 --> 00:07:28,691
HAVE FUN.
163
00:07:28,757 --> 00:07:29,692
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
164
00:07:29,758 --> 00:07:32,061
CAN'T WE TAKE HER
TO MEXICO?
165
00:07:35,097 --> 00:07:37,700
NO, I DON'T THINK PAULA
WOULD WANT THAT. SEE YA!
166
00:07:37,766 --> 00:07:39,168
BUT I WANNA GO
WITH YOU GUYS.
167
00:07:39,235 --> 00:07:42,872
FINE.
♪ BUT I GET TO HOLD HER ♪
168
00:07:43,305 --> 00:07:46,976
SO WHATEVER HAPPENED
TO OLD BOB HASSLET?
169
00:07:47,042 --> 00:07:48,110
LIVER DISEASE.
170
00:07:48,177 --> 00:07:50,546
MY RECORDS SHOW THAT NEITHER
YOU NOR YOUR UGLY PANTS
171
00:07:50,613 --> 00:07:52,882
HAVE MADE A CALL ON US
FOR ALMOST 6 MONTHS.
172
00:07:52,948 --> 00:07:57,152
I WANT YOU OUT OF HERE
RIGHT NOW!
173
00:07:59,655 --> 00:08:00,289
HOW'D IT GO?
174
00:08:00,356 --> 00:08:01,857
WHAT'S OUR NEXT STOP?
175
00:08:01,924 --> 00:08:03,158
COME WITH ME!
176
00:08:03,225 --> 00:08:05,261
MA, DON'T!
YOU'LL EMBARRASS ME.
177
00:08:05,327 --> 00:08:08,564
HEY, DIDN'T I JUST THROW YOU
OUT OF MY OFFICE?
178
00:08:08,631 --> 00:08:11,166
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
179
00:08:11,233 --> 00:08:16,705
COME.
SIT NEXT TO MOMMY.
180
00:08:16,772 --> 00:08:19,275
GOOD BOY.
181
00:08:19,341 --> 00:08:21,277
NOW, MR. CACKLEBAG,
182
00:08:21,343 --> 00:08:25,314
HOW CAN I GET YOU AND MY SON
IN BED TOGETHER?
183
00:08:27,082 --> 00:08:31,287
IN A BUSINESS
SENSE, OF COURSE.
184
00:08:31,353 --> 00:08:32,655
I'M SORRY, MRS. JENKINS,
185
00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:33,889
BUT THOSE PANTS
ARE OFFENSIVE.
186
00:08:33,956 --> 00:08:36,292
I CAN'T DO BUSINESS WITH A MAN
WHO WEARS PANTS LIKE THOSE.
187
00:08:36,358 --> 00:08:38,727
I WOULDN'T BUY OFFICE SUPPLIES
FROM THOSE PANTS
188
00:08:38,794 --> 00:08:41,230
IF THE LAST PAPERCLIPS
ON EARTH WERE IN THOSE POCKETS.
189
00:08:41,297 --> 00:08:44,166
I'VE SOLD THOUSANDS
OF PAPERCLIPS IN THESE PANTS.
190
00:08:44,233 --> 00:08:45,668
LIKE HELL YOU HAVE!
191
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,269
ALL RIGHT, BOYS.
SETTLE DOWN.
192
00:08:47,336 --> 00:08:51,173
I'M SORRY. IT'S THE PANTS.
THEY MAKE ME CRAZY.
193
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:51,974
I'M SORRY, TOO.
194
00:08:52,041 --> 00:08:53,943
THOSE PANTS
DRIVE ME CRAZY AS WELL.
195
00:08:54,009 --> 00:08:57,179
SO YOU CAN SEE WHAT
I'M UP AGAINST HERE.
196
00:08:57,246 --> 00:08:59,882
IT'S NOT EASY
BEING A SINGLE MOM.
197
00:08:59,949 --> 00:09:02,785
YOU KNOW, HIS DAD DIED
WHEN HE WAS 38,
198
00:09:02,851 --> 00:09:07,589
AND, WELL, I'VE BEEN
RAISING HIM EVER SINCE.
199
00:09:07,656 --> 00:09:08,891
THAT MUST BE HARD
FOR YOU.
200
00:09:08,958 --> 00:09:10,592
MR. CACKLEBAG,
201
00:09:10,659 --> 00:09:13,329
MY SON ISN'T USUALLY
THIS RAMBUNCTIOUS.
202
00:09:13,395 --> 00:09:14,997
HE'S BEEN
INTO THE SUGAR.
203
00:09:15,064 --> 00:09:18,100
I KNOW HOW THAT IS.
I HAVE A 4-YEAR-OLD MYSELF.
204
00:09:18,167 --> 00:09:20,135
OH, THAT'S A FEISTY AGE.
205
00:09:20,202 --> 00:09:21,070
WHAT'S YOUR BOY'S NAME?
206
00:09:21,136 --> 00:09:23,038
DIGGER, AND YOU'RE RIGHT.
HE IS FEISTY.
207
00:09:23,105 --> 00:09:24,740
WHY, JUST YESTERDAY
208
00:09:24,807 --> 00:09:26,875
HE WAS RUNNING AROUND THE PARK
NAKED CHASING DUCKS.
209
00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:30,079
MY DOUGIE USED
TO DO THAT, TOO.
210
00:09:30,145 --> 00:09:31,313
YEAH, HE DID.
211
00:09:31,380 --> 00:09:32,815
WHAT DO YOU MEAN "USED TO"?
212
00:09:32,881 --> 00:09:35,851
[DUCK QUACKING]
213
00:09:39,421 --> 00:09:40,222
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
214
00:09:40,289 --> 00:09:42,658
MAYBE WE DO NEED
SOME SUPPLIES AFTER ALL.
215
00:09:42,725 --> 00:09:45,761
THANK YOU.
I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
216
00:09:45,828 --> 00:09:46,795
YOU KNOW WHAT?
217
00:09:46,862 --> 00:09:51,967
I'VE BEEN SO LONELY SINCE
HIS FATHER PASSED AWAY.
218
00:09:52,034 --> 00:09:54,303
[CHUCKLES]
219
00:09:57,239 --> 00:09:59,008
"FOR WHEN YOUR BITCH
IS IN HEAT
220
00:09:59,074 --> 00:10:01,977
AND YOUR HANDS ARE FULL."
221
00:10:03,145 --> 00:10:05,414
WE'RE NOT HERE FOR YOU,
ANGUS.
222
00:10:05,481 --> 00:10:07,649
GO LOOK AT THE FISH.
223
00:10:09,418 --> 00:10:11,387
QUIT IT, YOU FUCK!
224
00:10:23,232 --> 00:10:24,700
PLEASE, GUYS,
LET'S STOP THIS
225
00:10:24,767 --> 00:10:27,903
BEFORE SOMEONE
LOSES AN EYE.
226
00:10:28,771 --> 00:10:31,173
Johnny:
DON'T WORRY, GIRL.
227
00:10:32,975 --> 00:10:34,243
TRUCE! I GIVE UP.
228
00:10:34,309 --> 00:10:36,145
YOU WIN.
HERE YOU GO, BUDDY.
229
00:10:36,211 --> 00:10:39,014
HERE'S A LITTLE
PEACE OFFERING.
230
00:10:39,081 --> 00:10:41,116
HERE. LET ME HELP YOU
PUT IT ON.
231
00:10:41,183 --> 00:10:43,285
HOW'S THAT, BUDDY?
YOU LIKE IT?
232
00:10:43,352 --> 00:10:44,319
[CHIRPS]
233
00:10:44,386 --> 00:10:46,088
GOOD.
234
00:10:51,493 --> 00:10:54,296
BITCH.
235
00:10:57,833 --> 00:11:01,904
[AS LEGOLAS]
GIMLI, I'VE SHOT
17 ORCS BY MY BOW.
236
00:11:01,970 --> 00:11:03,439
AH, LEGOLAS THE ELF,
237
00:11:03,505 --> 00:11:04,706
I'LL CATCH YOU YET.
238
00:11:04,773 --> 00:11:07,342
I'VE SLAIN 16
WITH MY AXE
239
00:11:07,409 --> 00:11:08,777
AND STILL COUNTING.
240
00:11:08,844 --> 00:11:10,446
[NORMAL VOICE]
WE'RE LOSING HER.
241
00:11:10,512 --> 00:11:12,848
WELL,
I JUST GAVE IT MY ALL.
242
00:11:12,915 --> 00:11:14,783
JUST KEEP GOING.
243
00:11:14,850 --> 00:11:16,452
MY ANCESTORS DID NOT DIE
244
00:11:16,518 --> 00:11:18,153
IN THE MINES OF MORIA
IN VAIN!
245
00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:22,257
WE'LL BE ROASTING
ORC MEAT TONIGHT. AAH!
246
00:11:24,093 --> 00:11:26,128
YOU'RE BLOCKING HER VIEW.
247
00:11:26,361 --> 00:11:31,100
CLAY, I DON'T THINK SHE'S
SEEN LORD OF THE RINGS YET.
248
00:11:31,166 --> 00:11:32,134
[SNEEZES]
249
00:11:32,201 --> 00:11:33,502
OH, MY GOD.
DID YOU SEE THAT?
250
00:11:33,569 --> 00:11:35,437
THAT WAS SO CUTE.
251
00:11:33,569 --> 00:11:35,437
[SNEEZES]
252
00:11:35,504 --> 00:11:37,039
DO YOU THINK
SHE'S CAUGHT A COLD?
253
00:11:37,106 --> 00:11:38,807
MAYBE SHE'S ALLERGIC
TO SOMETHING.
254
00:11:38,874 --> 00:11:40,876
BUT WHAT?
255
00:11:38,874 --> 00:11:40,876
[SNEEZES]
256
00:11:46,281 --> 00:11:51,220
ANGUS, YOU HAVE TO STAY IN THE
CLOSET UNTIL YOU'RE DE-LOUSED.
257
00:11:55,991 --> 00:11:57,426
[SNEEZES]
258
00:12:06,368 --> 00:12:08,237
[BEAUTIFUL PLAYING]
259
00:12:08,303 --> 00:12:11,106
[LAUGHS SLYLY]
260
00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:27,556
[LAUGHS]
261
00:12:27,623 --> 00:12:29,992
[PURRS]
262
00:12:35,397 --> 00:12:37,933
UURRGGHH!
263
00:12:43,272 --> 00:12:45,541
YOU KNOW, I THINK I SHOULD
TAKE TOOTSIE HOME NOW.
264
00:12:45,607 --> 00:12:46,575
YOU'RE NOT
TAKING HER ANYWHERE.
265
00:12:46,642 --> 00:12:48,944
YOU CAN GO HOME AND
COME BACK IN THE MORNING.
266
00:12:49,011 --> 00:12:49,778
PAULA GAVE HER TO ME!
267
00:12:49,845 --> 00:12:51,813
THE OLSEN TWINS ARE
COMING OVER LATER.
268
00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:55,250
I REALLY WANT THEM
TO SEE HER.
269
00:12:56,018 --> 00:13:00,923
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
ANGUS! COME ON OUT HERE.
270
00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:01,590
HI, ANGUS.
271
00:13:01,657 --> 00:13:03,425
I'M MICHAEL JACKSON'S
NOSE.
272
00:13:03,492 --> 00:13:05,227
I HEAR YOU DON'T LIKE
THE WAY YOU LOOK.
273
00:13:05,294 --> 00:13:08,030
YOU WANT TO BE WHITE
AND FLUFFY JUST LIKE ME.
274
00:13:08,096 --> 00:13:12,968
WELL, COME ON.
YOUR DAY OF BEAUTY AWAITS.
275
00:13:13,035 --> 00:13:15,270
Chorus:
♪ ANGUS, IF YOU WILL ♪
276
00:13:15,337 --> 00:13:17,906
♪ TRUST IN THIS NOSE ♪
277
00:13:17,973 --> 00:13:22,377
♪ AND ALL YOUR DREAMS
WILL BE FULFILLED ♪
278
00:13:22,444 --> 00:13:24,213
♪ YOU'RE UGLY NOW ♪
279
00:13:24,279 --> 00:13:28,116
♪ BUT THAT WILL SOON
BE IN THE PAST ♪
280
00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:32,454
♪ AFTER YOUR
HOT BLEACH BATH ♪
281
00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:35,924
♪ ANGUS, IF YOU WILL ♪
282
00:13:35,991 --> 00:13:38,327
♪ DON'T BE AFRAID ♪
283
00:13:38,393 --> 00:13:43,065
♪ TO HAVE YOUR
RODENT-LIKE BLOOD SPILLED ♪
284
00:13:43,131 --> 00:13:45,067
♪ WE HAVE
TO SLASH AWAY... ♪
285
00:13:45,133 --> 00:13:46,468
Nose: NOW THAT
YOU'RE WHITE,
286
00:13:46,535 --> 00:13:48,103
THE REST IS EASY.
287
00:13:48,170 --> 00:13:49,471
AND NOW
288
00:13:49,538 --> 00:13:51,206
THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE,
289
00:13:51,273 --> 00:13:52,241
BEN AFFLECK,
290
00:13:52,307 --> 00:13:53,308
WILL GIVE YOU
A HAIRCUT.
291
00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:57,980
SO, ANGUS, WHAT ARE WE
GOING TO HAVE DONE TODAY?
292
00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:01,016
OH! YOU'RE GOING
FOR THE TOOTSIE!
293
00:14:01,083 --> 00:14:03,252
WHEEEEE!
294
00:14:05,420 --> 00:14:08,890
WOOOOOO.
295
00:14:12,561 --> 00:14:14,429
WOOOOO.
296
00:14:15,464 --> 00:14:18,900
THAT'S MY LITTLE
FUZZY-WUZZY ANGUS.
297
00:14:18,967 --> 00:14:20,002
SO CUTE.
298
00:14:20,068 --> 00:14:22,671
[LAUGHS]
299
00:14:35,050 --> 00:14:38,553
UUURRRGGGHHH!
300
00:14:40,055 --> 00:14:42,190
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
301
00:14:42,991 --> 00:14:44,293
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
302
00:14:44,359 --> 00:14:47,596
[PSYCHO, GROUPIE,
COCAINE, CRAZY PLAYING]
303
00:14:59,608 --> 00:15:02,978
OK, NOW WHAT WAS
SO HARD ABOUT THAT?
304
00:15:03,045 --> 00:15:04,646
LOOK,
I'M AN OLD LADY,
305
00:15:04,713 --> 00:15:06,682
AND I
JUST MADE A SALE.
306
00:15:06,748 --> 00:15:07,649
WHY CAN'T YOU?
307
00:15:07,716 --> 00:15:10,352
UH, 'CAUSE
I'M NOT AN OLD LADY?
308
00:15:10,419 --> 00:15:13,455
NO, BUT YOU ARE
A MIDDLE-AGED LUNKHEAD,
309
00:15:13,522 --> 00:15:16,391
SO YOU HAVE TO USE THAT
TO YOUR ADVANTAGE.
310
00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:17,693
"LUNKHEAD."
311
00:15:17,759 --> 00:15:19,428
SO WHAT'S
THE GAME PLAN?
312
00:15:19,494 --> 00:15:21,096
IT'S NOT THE PRODUCT
I'M SELLING.
313
00:15:21,163 --> 00:15:23,165
IT'S ME...AND I'M
AS CHEAP AS THEY COME.
314
00:15:23,231 --> 00:15:28,070
NOW GET IN THERE
AND SELL, SELL, SELL!
315
00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:30,372
YOU GOT IT, MA.
316
00:15:30,772 --> 00:15:31,440
I'M OK.
317
00:15:31,506 --> 00:15:33,709
THERE'S NO WAY
ANOTHER TAX REBATE
318
00:15:33,775 --> 00:15:36,078
IS GOING TO STIMULATE
THE ECONOMY.
319
00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:38,013
YOU SON OF A BITCH!
320
00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:39,581
WAIT. WHERE'S TOOTSIE?
321
00:15:39,648 --> 00:15:42,043
TOOTSIE?
322
00:15:39,648 --> 00:15:42,043
PRETTY BABY?
323
00:15:42,043 --> 00:15:42,050
TOOTSIE?
324
00:15:42,043 --> 00:15:42,050
PRETTY BABY?
325
00:15:42,117 --> 00:15:43,485
MUFFIN ASS?
326
00:15:43,552 --> 00:15:45,487
TOOTSIE?
327
00:15:45,554 --> 00:15:46,388
AAH!
328
00:15:46,455 --> 00:15:49,991
[I FEEL LOVE PLAYING]
329
00:15:53,128 --> 00:15:56,131
I'LL TAKE 3 ERASERS.
330
00:15:57,466 --> 00:15:59,401
WHAT THE FUCK
IS THAT THING?
331
00:15:59,468 --> 00:16:00,736
WE GOT A RAT.
332
00:16:00,802 --> 00:16:03,271
ANGUS, WE GOT A RAT.
333
00:16:03,805 --> 00:16:05,607
GO GET IT.
334
00:16:05,674 --> 00:16:08,076
Johnny: THERE IT IS.
335
00:16:08,143 --> 00:16:09,244
Clay: GET HIM!
336
00:16:09,311 --> 00:16:10,078
THERE HE GOES!
337
00:16:10,145 --> 00:16:12,547
Clay:
IT'S DISGUSTING.
338
00:16:12,848 --> 00:16:15,317
WE GOT HIM NOW.
339
00:16:17,686 --> 00:16:20,555
THANK GOD.
IT'S GONNA JUMP.
340
00:16:20,622 --> 00:16:21,523
SO WHAT
WE'RE DEALING WITH
341
00:16:21,590 --> 00:16:22,557
IS A HAIRLESS,
MUTANT RODENT
342
00:16:22,624 --> 00:16:24,292
WITH SUICIDAL
TENDENCIES.
343
00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:25,127
AH-CHOO!
344
00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:26,995
TOOTSIE?
345
00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:26,995
TOOTSIE?
346
00:16:27,829 --> 00:16:30,065
Both: NO!
347
00:16:30,132 --> 00:16:32,167
THE CHICKEN HAWK
SAVED TOOTSIE.
348
00:16:32,234 --> 00:16:34,503
LONG LIVE
THE CHICKEN HAWK.
349
00:16:34,569 --> 00:16:37,205
AND NOW IT'S
GOING TO EAT HER.
350
00:16:37,272 --> 00:16:38,440
OH, MY GOD.
351
00:16:38,507 --> 00:16:40,242
PAULA'S
GOING TO KILL ME.
352
00:16:40,308 --> 00:16:42,077
I KILLED HER DOG.
353
00:16:42,144 --> 00:16:43,545
YOU DIDN'T
KILL HER DOG.
354
00:16:43,612 --> 00:16:44,713
YOU GOT IT
KILLED.
355
00:16:44,780 --> 00:16:45,514
THERE'S A BIG
DIFFERENCE.
356
00:16:45,580 --> 00:16:48,650
WHY WAS SHE
SHAVED LIKE THAT ANYWAY?
357
00:16:48,717 --> 00:16:51,353
DON'T LOOK AT ME.
I HAVE NO IDEA.
358
00:16:51,420 --> 00:16:54,189
LET'S CHECK
THE SECURITY TAPE.
359
00:16:56,858 --> 00:16:58,593
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
360
00:16:59,561 --> 00:17:00,462
THIS IS
ALL YOUR FAULT.
361
00:17:00,529 --> 00:17:03,331
NOW THE WORLD HAS LOST
A BRIGHT, SHINING LIGHT.
362
00:17:03,398 --> 00:17:04,766
WHY THE HELL DID
YOU SHAVE HER ANYWAY?
363
00:17:04,833 --> 00:17:06,668
YOU'RE WORSE
THAN A FUCKING CAT.
364
00:17:06,735 --> 00:17:09,070
GET THE HELL
OUT OF MY SIGHT!
365
00:17:09,137 --> 00:17:09,905
I DON'T CARE IF
I EVER SEE YOU AGAIN.
366
00:17:09,971 --> 00:17:12,507
MAYBE THERE'S
STILL TIME TO SAVE HER.
367
00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:14,209
LET'S GO.
368
00:17:17,145 --> 00:17:18,480
UHH!
369
00:17:27,889 --> 00:17:29,524
[WHISTLES]
370
00:17:31,893 --> 00:17:32,828
HOW ARE WE
GOING TO FIND HER?
371
00:17:32,894 --> 00:17:35,230
WE'RE NOT. WE'RE GOING TO
GET HER A NEW DOG.
372
00:17:35,297 --> 00:17:37,399
NO, WAIT.
LET'S ASK THIS INDIAN.
373
00:17:37,466 --> 00:17:40,135
HE MIGHT KNOW
HOW BIRDS THINK.
374
00:17:41,169 --> 00:17:43,405
HEY, HAVE YOU SEEN
A CHICKEN HAWK
375
00:17:43,472 --> 00:17:45,106
CARRYING
A SHAVED POMERANIAN?
376
00:17:45,173 --> 00:17:47,275
OH, SURE,
I'VE SEEN 'EM.
377
00:17:47,342 --> 00:17:48,076
WE ALL SEEN 'EM.
378
00:17:48,143 --> 00:17:51,346
WE WERE ALL JUST
TALKING ABOUT THEM.
379
00:17:51,746 --> 00:17:52,781
WHO'S WE ALL?
380
00:17:52,848 --> 00:17:56,284
ME AND ALL MY FRIENDS.
381
00:17:56,351 --> 00:17:59,287
WELL, CAN YOU
LEAD US TO THEM?
382
00:17:59,354 --> 00:18:01,122
WHAT WILL YOU
TRADE ME FOR IT?
383
00:18:01,189 --> 00:18:02,424
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
YOU NAME IT.
384
00:18:02,491 --> 00:18:05,293
THAT'S A SHINY BELT
BUCKLE YOU'RE WEARING.
385
00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:08,296
I'D LIKE A BELT BUCKLE
LIKE THAT.
386
00:18:10,398 --> 00:18:11,566
WHAT WERE YOU?
10 IN '92?
387
00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:14,769
YOU GAVE IT TO ME
LAST YEAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY.
388
00:18:14,836 --> 00:18:16,438
THAT WAS
THOUGHTFUL OF ME.
389
00:18:16,505 --> 00:18:17,405
NOW GIVE IT
TO THE INDIAN.
390
00:18:17,472 --> 00:18:20,642
BY THE WAY,
I'M FROM PAKISTAN.
391
00:18:27,549 --> 00:18:30,519
[WHISTLING A TUNE]
392
00:18:51,506 --> 00:18:52,674
[GASPS]
393
00:18:52,741 --> 00:18:55,410
[COUGHS]
394
00:19:12,260 --> 00:19:13,962
EWW!
395
00:19:14,729 --> 00:19:18,567
[MUMBLES]
396
00:19:27,776 --> 00:19:29,511
[LAUGHS]
397
00:19:35,684 --> 00:19:39,688
[STICK 'EM UP PLAYING]
398
00:19:46,928 --> 00:19:48,930
[GROANS]
399
00:19:53,668 --> 00:19:55,570
UHH!
400
00:20:50,492 --> 00:20:53,294
I GOT 3 ERASERS!
401
00:20:53,795 --> 00:20:55,063
TOUCHDOWN!
402
00:20:55,130 --> 00:20:56,564
PIPE DOWN IN THERE!
403
00:20:56,631 --> 00:20:59,601
HE'S STILL PUMPED UP
ABOUT HIS BIG SALE TODAY.
404
00:20:59,668 --> 00:21:02,437
YEAH. HE SOLD--
ARE YOU READY?
405
00:21:02,504 --> 00:21:05,907
300,000 ERASERS!
406
00:21:05,974 --> 00:21:06,775
YEAH!
407
00:21:06,841 --> 00:21:09,444
I THINK HE'S GOING
TO GET PROMOTED SOON.
408
00:21:09,511 --> 00:21:11,780
YOU'RE SO LUCKY
TO HAVE HIM.
409
00:21:11,846 --> 00:21:14,482
HA HA!
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
410
00:21:15,417 --> 00:21:16,518
OH, DAMN IT.
411
00:21:16,584 --> 00:21:18,687
Johnny: I WISH
TOOTSIE WAS HERE.
412
00:21:18,753 --> 00:21:20,021
SHE'D KNOW
WHAT TO DO.
413
00:21:20,088 --> 00:21:22,791
I'LL NEVER BE ABLE
TO FACE PAULA.
414
00:21:22,857 --> 00:21:25,894
HEY, GUYS.
WHAT A NICE SURPRISE.
415
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:28,496
WHY DID YOU COME
ALL THE WAY UP TO PONY CAMP?
416
00:21:28,563 --> 00:21:30,965
OH...JUST
TO SURPRISE YOU.
417
00:21:31,032 --> 00:21:33,668
ARE YOU HIDING SOMETHING
FROM ME, JOHNNY?
418
00:21:33,735 --> 00:21:35,103
IS TOOTSIE OK?
419
00:21:35,170 --> 00:21:37,472
UH...UM...
420
00:21:37,539 --> 00:21:38,473
JOHNNY KILLED
YOUR DOG.
421
00:21:38,540 --> 00:21:40,875
WHAT? NO,
I DIDN'T KILL IT!
422
00:21:40,942 --> 00:21:43,645
YOU KILLED TOOTSIE?
423
00:21:43,712 --> 00:21:44,612
NO!
424
00:21:44,679 --> 00:21:46,047
HE'S RIGHT.
HE GOT HER KILLED.
425
00:21:46,114 --> 00:21:46,915
BIG DIFFERENCE.
426
00:21:46,981 --> 00:21:47,816
I DIDN'T
GET IT KILLED.
427
00:21:47,882 --> 00:21:51,486
I MEAN, I DIDN'T MEAN
TO GET IT KILLED!
428
00:21:51,553 --> 00:21:52,153
I MEAN--
429
00:21:52,220 --> 00:21:56,725
[CRYING]
I'M SO SORRY, PAULA!
430
00:21:57,759 --> 00:21:59,694
TOOTSIE!
THERE YOU ARE.
431
00:21:59,761 --> 00:22:03,064
THANK GOD YOU'RE ALIVE.
432
00:22:03,131 --> 00:22:06,401
OH, I GET IT NOW.
433
00:22:06,468 --> 00:22:08,470
SHE WAS NEVER DEAD.
434
00:22:08,536 --> 00:22:09,404
YOU GUYS!
435
00:22:09,471 --> 00:22:12,040
YOU REALLY HAD ME
GOING THERE FOR A MINUTE.
436
00:22:12,107 --> 00:22:12,941
KILLING TOOTSIE--
437
00:22:13,007 --> 00:22:15,477
OH, MY GOD.
TOO FUNNY.
438
00:22:15,543 --> 00:22:16,177
WE TRY.
439
00:22:16,244 --> 00:22:19,380
AND I LOVE
THE NEW SUMMER CUT.
440
00:22:19,447 --> 00:22:21,382
SHE LOOKS ADORABLE.
441
00:22:21,449 --> 00:22:22,450
YEAH.
442
00:22:22,517 --> 00:22:25,887
WE'LL TAKE CARE OF
HER AGAIN ANYTIME.
443
00:22:25,954 --> 00:22:26,955
SHE'S A BLAST.
444
00:22:27,021 --> 00:22:30,759
JOHNNY, YOU'RE THE BEST.
445
00:22:34,462 --> 00:22:38,133
ANGUS, I'LL NEVER LET A CUTE
BITCH COME BETWEEN US AGAIN.
446
00:22:38,199 --> 00:22:40,769
YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND
AND ALWAYS WILL BE.
447
00:22:40,835 --> 00:22:43,138
SORRY I FORGOT THAT.
448
00:22:43,204 --> 00:22:43,905
THAT'S MY BOY.
449
00:22:43,972 --> 00:22:49,043
WHERE'S TOOTSIE'S
NEW BEST FRIEND?
450
00:22:50,779 --> 00:22:53,882
AW, SO CUTE.
451
00:22:53,948 --> 00:22:58,787
I FEEL ALL WARM
AND MOIST INSIDE.
452
00:22:59,721 --> 00:23:01,089
JOHNNY, I WANT YOU TO KNOW
453
00:23:01,156 --> 00:23:03,591
THAT I REALLY APPRECIATE
YOUR HELP WITH TOOTSIE
454
00:23:03,658 --> 00:23:04,626
THIS WEEKEND.
455
00:23:04,692 --> 00:23:08,663
I REALLY ONLY DID IT
BECAUSE I'M IN LOVE WITH--
456
00:23:08,730 --> 00:23:10,465
WELL, I OWE YOU BIG TIME,
457
00:23:10,532 --> 00:23:15,003
AND IF THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN DO
TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU, JOHNNY,
458
00:23:15,069 --> 00:23:17,005
AND I MEAN ANYTHING,
459
00:23:17,071 --> 00:23:20,708
ANYTHING AT ALL,
NO MATTER WHAT,
460
00:23:20,775 --> 00:23:22,644
DON'T RULE ANYTHING OUT.
461
00:23:22,710 --> 00:23:26,481
LET YOUR FANTASIES
RUN WILD.
462
00:23:26,548 --> 00:23:27,615
I'M SO READY FOR THIS.
463
00:23:27,682 --> 00:23:30,018
I CAN FEEL IT
DEEP DOWN INSIDE.
464
00:23:30,084 --> 00:23:32,887
WELL, MAYBE SOMETIME
465
00:23:32,954 --> 00:23:36,457
IF IT'S NOT
INCONVENIENT FOR YOU--
466
00:23:36,524 --> 00:23:38,092
YES? YES?
467
00:23:38,159 --> 00:23:40,161
MAYBE I COULD
TAKE YOU TO A MOVIE?
468
00:23:40,228 --> 00:23:41,930
THAT SOUNDS
LIKE A DATE, JOHNNY.
469
00:23:41,996 --> 00:23:43,031
WE'RE JUST FRIENDS.
470
00:23:43,097 --> 00:23:46,100
WOULDN'T YOU RATHER HAVE
A MANICURE BECAUSE YOU'RE GAY?
471
00:23:46,167 --> 00:23:47,702
I'M NOT GAY!
472
00:23:47,769 --> 00:23:49,671
GOTCHA! HA HA HA.
473
00:23:49,737 --> 00:23:53,741
YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE
WHO CAN PLAY JOKES AROUND HERE.
474
00:23:53,808 --> 00:23:54,642
[LAUGHS]
475
00:23:54,709 --> 00:23:55,810
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES
I WISH JOHNNY WAS GAY.
476
00:23:55,877 --> 00:23:59,647
IT'D BE EVEN FUNNIER TO SEE HIM
ACT LIKE THIS WITH A GUY.
477
00:23:59,714 --> 00:24:00,715
[LAUGHS]