1
00:01:08,578 --> 00:01:12,181
♪ I CAN'T WAIT TO TALK
TO PAULA TODAY ♪
2
00:01:12,248 --> 00:01:16,886
♪ I HAD THE DREAM
ABOUT THE OATMEAL AGAIN ♪
3
00:01:16,953 --> 00:01:21,190
♪ PAULA DIDN'T
COME HOME LAST NIGHT ♪
4
00:01:21,257 --> 00:01:25,795
♪ I HOPE THAT SHE'S OK ♪
5
00:01:27,930 --> 00:01:30,299
AU REVOIR,
PROFESSOR.
6
00:01:30,366 --> 00:01:32,768
TU ES MAGNIFIQUE,
CHéRIE.
7
00:01:32,835 --> 00:01:34,904
UH-HUH.
HUH, HUH, HUH...
8
00:01:34,971 --> 00:01:38,574
♪ I WAS WORRIED PAULA
WAS OUT GETTING LAID ♪
9
00:01:38,641 --> 00:01:42,411
♪ BUT SHE GOT A JOB
WORKING AS A NIGHT MAID ♪
10
00:01:42,478 --> 00:01:43,513
GOOD MORNING,
JOHNNY.
11
00:01:43,579 --> 00:01:46,349
PAULA, I DON'T LIKE THE IDEA
OF YOU WORKING ALL NIGHT.
12
00:01:46,415 --> 00:01:47,283
IF YOU NEED MONEY,
13
00:01:47,350 --> 00:01:49,752
I COULD ASK PEOPLE
ON THE STREET FOR CHANGE.
14
00:01:49,819 --> 00:01:53,155
THAT'S SWEET OF YOU, JOHNNY,
BUT I WASN'T WORKING.
15
00:01:53,222 --> 00:01:57,293
MY SEXY AND SOPHISTICATED
FRENCH POETRY PROFESSOR
16
00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:01,430
MADE ME STAY AFTER CLASS
FOR ABOUT 12 HOURS.
17
00:02:01,497 --> 00:02:02,431
[PAULA SIGHS]
18
00:02:02,498 --> 00:02:03,599
WE DISCUSSED
MY TRANSFORMATION
19
00:02:03,666 --> 00:02:05,601
FROM A GIRL TO A WOMAN.
20
00:02:05,668 --> 00:02:08,437
I HAD A DREAM
IT WAS RAINING OATMEAL.
21
00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:12,575
PROFESSOR DUBOIS' DREAMS ARE SO
MUCH MORE COMPLEX THAN THAT.
22
00:02:12,642 --> 00:02:15,611
HE DREAMS OF CAVIAR
AND OYSTERS.
23
00:02:15,678 --> 00:02:18,347
WOW! THAT IS SOPHISTICATED.
24
00:02:18,414 --> 00:02:20,449
WELL, HE IS A PROFESSOR.
25
00:02:20,516 --> 00:02:22,585
ALL MY PROFESSORS
ARE AMAZING.
26
00:02:22,652 --> 00:02:27,924
IT'S JUST SO NICE TO BE AROUND
SOMEONE I RESPECT FOR A CHANGE.
27
00:02:27,990 --> 00:02:30,560
HAVE A GOOD DAY
OF BEGGING, JOHNNY.
28
00:02:30,626 --> 00:02:32,328
RESPECT, HUH?
29
00:02:32,395 --> 00:02:34,230
I DON'T GET NO RESPECT.
30
00:02:34,297 --> 00:02:35,231
WHAT A THRILL.
31
00:02:35,298 --> 00:02:37,233
THERE'S MY ANGEL
OF THE MORNING.
32
00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:42,305
MAMA...IS IT WET IN HERE,
OR IS IT JUST ME?
33
00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:45,408
GOD...YOU'RE STRONG, MAMA.
34
00:02:45,474 --> 00:02:47,276
I'M GETTIN' TOO OLD
FOR THIS CRAP!
35
00:02:47,343 --> 00:02:49,946
I HAVE A GOOD MIND
TO LET YOU GET A RASH,
36
00:02:50,012 --> 00:02:52,582
YOU...INCONTINENT RUMMY!
37
00:02:52,648 --> 00:02:54,717
MAMA...I'M ITCHY.
38
00:02:54,784 --> 00:02:55,685
YOU'RE ALWAYS ITCHY.
39
00:02:55,751 --> 00:02:59,221
YOU WERE AN ITCHY BABY,
YOU'RE AN ITCHY DRUNK,
40
00:02:59,288 --> 00:03:01,691
AND THIS IS NOT
A MOTHER'S JOB.
41
00:03:01,757 --> 00:03:03,392
THIS IS A WIFE'S JOB!
42
00:03:03,459 --> 00:03:04,327
OUCH!
43
00:03:04,393 --> 00:03:06,395
YOU NEED A GODDAMN WIFE!
44
00:03:06,462 --> 00:03:07,530
YOU CAN MOVE IN
WITH HER...
45
00:03:07,597 --> 00:03:09,966
PISS ALL OVER
HER FUCKIN' HOUSE.
46
00:03:10,032 --> 00:03:11,634
I FEEL LIKE
A BIG BOY NOW.
47
00:03:11,701 --> 00:03:14,737
AND YOUR NEW WIFE CAN TAKE
CARE OF YOU AND JOHNNY.
48
00:03:14,804 --> 00:03:17,273
I'LL HAVE THE WHOLE HOUSE
TO MYSELF.
49
00:03:17,340 --> 00:03:21,377
FINALLY! FINALLY, TO GET OUT
OF THAT LOUSY BASEMENT!
50
00:03:21,444 --> 00:03:24,647
YOU KNOW THERE'S
SPORES DOWN THERE?
51
00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:33,990
HELL, NO. I GOT A CHICK
COMIN' OVER IN 15 MINUTES.
52
00:03:34,056 --> 00:03:34,924
IF I LET YOU
LIGHT UP NOW,
53
00:03:34,991 --> 00:03:37,393
IT'LL BE GONE BY THE TIME
SHE GETS HERE.
54
00:03:37,460 --> 00:03:38,828
[GROWLING]
55
00:03:37,460 --> 00:03:38,828
[CHUCKLES]
56
00:03:38,894 --> 00:03:40,596
SORRY, BUDDY.
I CAN'T DO IT.
57
00:03:40,663 --> 00:03:43,799
I DON'T WANT YOUR HIGH ASS
BLOWIN' UP MY SCENE.
58
00:03:44,367 --> 00:03:45,368
[GROWLING]
59
00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:46,235
OHH! AHH! [GIGGLES]
60
00:03:46,302 --> 00:03:49,372
SHIT! BEAUTIFUL! OH!
SHIT! BEAUTIFUL! OH!
61
00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,674
ANGUS!
62
00:03:57,813 --> 00:03:59,582
[WHIMPERS]
63
00:03:59,882 --> 00:04:02,785
ANGUS, THAT WAS
A $50,000 TV.
64
00:04:02,852 --> 00:04:03,619
THAT CAN BE REPLACED...
65
00:04:03,686 --> 00:04:07,690
BUT MY FIRST BONG--
OLD ETHEL--NEVER.
66
00:04:08,024 --> 00:04:08,991
SON, THIS WAS
67
00:04:09,058 --> 00:04:10,693
MY GREAT-GRANDFATHER'S
BONG,
68
00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:12,395
WHO PASSED IT ON
TO YOUR GRANDFATHER,
69
00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:13,529
WHO GAVE IT TO ME.
70
00:04:13,596 --> 00:04:16,365
AND NOW
I GIVE IT TO YOU.
71
00:04:16,432 --> 00:04:17,633
HER NAME IS...
ETHEL.
72
00:04:17,700 --> 00:04:19,802
YOU'VE DESTROYED
MY MOST PRECIOUS KEEPSAKE.
73
00:04:19,869 --> 00:04:21,904
[GROWLING]
74
00:04:19,869 --> 00:04:21,904
NOW NO ONE CAN GET HIGH...
75
00:04:21,971 --> 00:04:24,373
YOU SELFISH
BONG-BREAKIN' FERRET.
76
00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:25,641
[GROWLING]
77
00:04:25,708 --> 00:04:26,776
DON'T BRING
A SHARD OF GLASS
78
00:04:26,842 --> 00:04:30,312
TO A KNIFE FIGHT,
MY FRIEND.
79
00:04:33,416 --> 00:04:35,785
[GROWLING]
80
00:04:33,416 --> 00:04:35,785
[DOORBELL RINGS]
81
00:04:35,851 --> 00:04:36,786
YOU'RE SO LUCKY.
82
00:04:36,852 --> 00:04:38,754
HEE HEE HEE HEE
HAH HAH HAH!
83
00:04:38,821 --> 00:04:39,855
HEY.
84
00:04:39,922 --> 00:04:41,557
HEY.
85
00:04:44,527 --> 00:04:46,729
SORRY, ANGUS.
86
00:04:48,431 --> 00:04:50,466
[MUTTERING]
87
00:04:51,067 --> 00:04:53,669
THANKS SO MUCH FOR MEETING
WITH ME, MR. STANKY.
88
00:04:53,736 --> 00:04:55,771
JOHNNY, I'VE BEEN
LOOKING FORWARD
89
00:04:55,838 --> 00:04:57,540
TO THIS CHERRY PIE
ALL DAY,
90
00:04:57,606 --> 00:04:59,809
AND I'D LIKE
TO ENJOY IT IN PEACE.
91
00:04:59,875 --> 00:05:01,110
THAT'S
A NICE-LOOKING PIE.
92
00:05:01,177 --> 00:05:03,479
ANYWAY,
I WANT TO BE A T.A.
93
00:05:03,546 --> 00:05:04,980
FOR YOUR BIOLOGY CLASS.
94
00:05:05,047 --> 00:05:07,817
HOLD ON. THE PIE'S
SAYING SOMETHING.
95
00:05:07,883 --> 00:05:08,751
WHAT'S THAT?
96
00:05:08,818 --> 00:05:10,352
I ALREADY HAVE
A T.A.?
97
00:05:10,419 --> 00:05:12,121
THAT'S FOR POINTING
THAT OUT, PIE.
98
00:05:12,188 --> 00:05:14,924
SORRY, JOHNNY.
THE PIE HAS SPOKEN.
99
00:05:14,990 --> 00:05:18,961
TELL THE PIE THAT 2 T.A.s
ARE BETTER THAN ONE.
100
00:05:19,729 --> 00:05:21,964
THE PIE SAYS IT DOESN'T
LOOK GOOD FOR ME
101
00:05:22,031 --> 00:05:25,634
TO HAVE FAILING STUDENTS
AS TEACHING ASSISTANTS.
102
00:05:25,701 --> 00:05:27,737
AND NOW BACK TO THE PIE.
103
00:05:27,803 --> 00:05:29,572
[CRYING]
OHH...OHH...OHH...
104
00:05:29,638 --> 00:05:30,906
PLEASE STOP THAT.
105
00:05:30,973 --> 00:05:31,841
[CRYING]
106
00:05:31,907 --> 00:05:35,478
PLEASE? JUST
FOR ONE CLASS?
107
00:05:35,544 --> 00:05:36,879
ALL RIGHT.
ME AND THE PIE
108
00:05:36,946 --> 00:05:40,082
ARE GOING ON VACATION ANYWAY,
SO WHO CARES?
109
00:05:40,149 --> 00:05:44,453
OHHH...OH, MR. STANKY,
YOU WON'T REGRET THIS!
110
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,989
HA HA HA! I PROMISE!
111
00:05:47,056 --> 00:05:48,057
THE CARIBBEAN?
112
00:05:48,124 --> 00:05:49,992
[USING ALTERNATE PRONUNCIATION]
OR THE CARIBBEAN?
113
00:05:51,927 --> 00:05:53,596
MM-HMM! AH!
114
00:05:53,662 --> 00:05:55,164
HERE WE ARE.
115
00:05:55,231 --> 00:05:58,000
"LOVEGEYSER.COM.
116
00:05:58,067 --> 00:06:00,736
SPRAYIN' LOVE
EVERYWHERE."
117
00:06:00,803 --> 00:06:01,937
PERFECT!
118
00:06:02,004 --> 00:06:02,905
"NAME."
119
00:06:02,972 --> 00:06:06,742
DOUGLAS JENKINS.
120
00:06:06,809 --> 00:06:07,877
UH, "PROFILE."
121
00:06:07,943 --> 00:06:11,847
PATHETIC WINO SEEKS SUGAR MAMA
TO PAY FOR EVERYTHING.
122
00:06:11,914 --> 00:06:13,649
YEAH, I BETTER
MASSAGE THAT A LITTLE.
123
00:06:13,716 --> 00:06:16,685
AH. DELICIOUS
PIECE OF ARM CANDY
124
00:06:16,752 --> 00:06:19,455
LOOKIN' FOR A GENEROUS
ARM TO HANG ONTO.
125
00:06:19,522 --> 00:06:20,890
YOU BUY ME DINNER,
126
00:06:20,956 --> 00:06:23,526
I'LL BE YOUR
FUZZY LITTLE BEAR.
127
00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:24,760
HAH HAH HAH!
I LIKE IT.
128
00:06:24,827 --> 00:06:28,964
YOU GIVE ME A HOME,
AND I'LL NEVER LEAVE IT!
129
00:06:29,165 --> 00:06:31,901
HA HA HA!
HOLY SHIT!
130
00:06:31,967 --> 00:06:33,169
WHOO! THAT WAS FAST!
131
00:06:33,235 --> 00:06:34,537
THERE MUST BE
A LOT OF LONELY,
132
00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:37,039
DESPERATE MONEYBAGS
SITTIN' AROUND.
133
00:06:37,106 --> 00:06:38,774
ALL RIGHT!
[CHUCKLES]
134
00:06:38,841 --> 00:06:41,443
"I'M LOOKIN' FOR THE OBJECT
OF MY DESIRES,
135
00:06:41,510 --> 00:06:44,914
AND MONEY IS NO OBJECT."
HA HA HA HA!
136
00:06:44,980 --> 00:06:47,183
A BINGO! YEAH!
137
00:06:47,249 --> 00:06:49,785
♪ I'M GONNA BE A T.A. ♪
138
00:06:49,852 --> 00:06:50,753
PAULA!
139
00:06:50,820 --> 00:06:51,754
HEY, JOHNNY.
140
00:06:51,821 --> 00:06:52,755
GUESS WHAT.
141
00:06:52,822 --> 00:06:54,523
I'M TEACHING
A CLASS TOMORROW...
142
00:06:54,590 --> 00:06:57,927
JUST LIKE ONE OF YOUR
AMAZING PROFESSORS!
143
00:06:57,993 --> 00:07:00,062
OH. WHAT CLASS?
144
00:07:00,129 --> 00:07:00,963
IT'S BIOLOGY.
145
00:07:01,030 --> 00:07:04,600
DO YOU WANNA COME
WATCH ME TEACH TOMORROW?
146
00:07:04,667 --> 00:07:06,702
SURE. BIOLOGY?
147
00:07:06,769 --> 00:07:09,638
OOH, THAT'S
A REALLY TOUGH SUBJECT.
148
00:07:09,705 --> 00:07:12,141
IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT
YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT,
149
00:07:12,208 --> 00:07:13,843
YOU'D LOOK SO STUPID.
150
00:07:13,909 --> 00:07:15,945
SO STUPID.
151
00:07:16,011 --> 00:07:18,013
I'M PROUD OF YOU,
JOHNNY.
152
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:19,548
[UNEASILY]
THANKS, PAULA.
153
00:07:19,615 --> 00:07:22,084
WELL...
I'LL SEE YOU...
154
00:07:22,151 --> 00:07:24,553
[CHEERFULLY]
IN THE MORNING!
155
00:07:24,620 --> 00:07:25,921
Betsy: SO...
WHAT'S THE THREAD COUNT
156
00:07:25,988 --> 00:07:27,156
ON THIS COMFORTER,
ANYWAY?
157
00:07:27,223 --> 00:07:29,225
Clay: JESUS. IF WE'RE GONNA
GET THAT PERSONAL,
158
00:07:29,291 --> 00:07:31,694
I'M GONNA
HAVE TO RELAX.
159
00:07:32,328 --> 00:07:34,029
[CHOKING AND SPUTTERING]
160
00:07:34,096 --> 00:07:36,532
Clay:
DON'T FUCKIN' SCRATCH
MY DOORS, YOU DICK.
161
00:07:36,599 --> 00:07:37,800
THAT'S RIGHT, WE'RE
GETTIN' HIGH IN HERE
162
00:07:37,867 --> 00:07:41,270
WITHOUT YOU
OR MY FAVORITE BONG.
163
00:07:42,238 --> 00:07:43,205
[CHITTERING]
164
00:07:43,272 --> 00:07:44,907
[GROWLING]
165
00:07:44,974 --> 00:07:45,841
[ALARM RINGING]
166
00:07:45,908 --> 00:07:47,610
THAT SON OF A BITCH.
167
00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,111
ANGUS!
168
00:07:50,212 --> 00:07:52,848
[CHITTERING]
169
00:07:54,884 --> 00:07:55,918
URRRHHH...
170
00:07:55,985 --> 00:07:57,219
YEAH!
171
00:07:57,286 --> 00:07:59,188
LOOKING FOR SOMETHING,
ANGUS?
172
00:07:59,255 --> 00:08:00,689
YOU MUST THINK
I'M AN IDIOT.
173
00:08:00,756 --> 00:08:02,691
NICE TRY,
THOUGH.
174
00:08:02,758 --> 00:08:04,226
LOOK AT YOU! OHHH...
175
00:08:04,293 --> 00:08:07,763
WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE
A SON LIKE THIS?!
176
00:08:07,830 --> 00:08:09,932
MAMA, I'M GOIN'
DOWN THE DRAIN.
177
00:08:09,999 --> 00:08:13,168
MORE LIKE THE TOILET,
YOU DRUNKEN TURD!
178
00:08:13,235 --> 00:08:16,071
NOW, LOOK...I FOUND A WOMAN
ON THE INTERNET FOR YOU,
179
00:08:16,138 --> 00:08:18,073
AND YOU'RE HAVIN' LUNCH
WITH HER.
180
00:08:18,140 --> 00:08:21,644
AND...IT'S YOUR JOB TO WOO
THE PANTS OFF OF HER
181
00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:25,547
SO I DON'T HAVE TO DO
THIS SHIT NO MORE! GET IT?!
182
00:08:25,614 --> 00:08:26,649
WHERE IS MY HEAD
183
00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:29,685
IN RELATION TO MY LEGS
RIGHT NOW, MAMA?
184
00:08:29,752 --> 00:08:30,486
UP YOUR ASS!
185
00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:32,588
NOW, GET YOUR BEAUTY SLEEP,
DOUGIE.
186
00:08:32,655 --> 00:08:35,958
YOU HIT THE AUCTION BLOCK
TOMORROW AT NOON.
187
00:08:36,025 --> 00:08:40,596
[DRUNKENLY]
WHEE! I'M IN SPACE!
188
00:08:44,033 --> 00:08:45,167
AAH!
189
00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:47,770
DON'T YOU JUST
LOVE SPOONING?
190
00:08:47,836 --> 00:08:49,338
NOT AFTER I CUM.
OR BEFORE.
191
00:08:49,405 --> 00:08:53,676
I HATE THAT I HAVE TO LEAVE
SO SOON AFTER WE MAKE LOVE.
192
00:08:53,742 --> 00:08:54,743
IT DOESN'T
GIVE US ANY TIME
193
00:08:54,810 --> 00:08:56,578
FOR DISCUSSING
OUR FEELINGS.
194
00:08:56,645 --> 00:08:58,013
YEAH, THAT'S ONE
OF THE BIG DRAWBACKS.
195
00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:01,016
IF ONLY WE COULD SPEND
THE WHOLE DAY TOGETHER.
196
00:09:01,083 --> 00:09:03,819
BUT YOU CAN'T
BECAUSE YOU LOVE TO FLY,
197
00:09:03,886 --> 00:09:05,120
AND IT SHOWS.
198
00:09:05,187 --> 00:09:06,889
[PAGER BEEPS]
199
00:09:07,356 --> 00:09:09,625
[GASPS] GREAT NEWS,CLAY.
200
00:09:09,692 --> 00:09:10,526
MY FLIGHT WAS DELAYED.
201
00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:14,763
WE CAN STAY JUST
LIKE THIS FOR HOURS.
202
00:09:14,830 --> 00:09:15,965
GREAT.
203
00:09:16,031 --> 00:09:19,868
I LOVE WRAPPING MY STRONG ARMS
AROUND YOUR WAIFISH FRAME.
204
00:09:19,935 --> 00:09:21,003
DO YOU LIKE IT?
205
00:09:21,070 --> 00:09:22,871
I LIKE IT JUST FINE.
206
00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:24,340
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
207
00:09:24,406 --> 00:09:27,276
MMM. BABY SPOON.
208
00:09:27,343 --> 00:09:28,210
SPEAK.
209
00:09:28,277 --> 00:09:29,611
CLAY,
I'M LATE FOR CLASS!
210
00:09:29,678 --> 00:09:31,747
I NEED TO GET TO SCHOOL
FERRARI FAST.
211
00:09:31,814 --> 00:09:32,681
COOL.
BE RIGHT THERE, JOHNNY.
212
00:09:32,748 --> 00:09:35,150
SORRY, BABE, GOTTA GO.
MY FRIEND JUST CALLED.
213
00:09:35,217 --> 00:09:36,986
HE SAID MY FERRET'S SICK.
214
00:09:37,052 --> 00:09:38,687
EW!
215
00:09:40,089 --> 00:09:41,156
THANKS, CLAY.
216
00:09:41,223 --> 00:09:42,024
UNH!
217
00:09:42,091 --> 00:09:44,026
GIMME THAT JACKET!
THAT'S YOUR FATHER'S!
218
00:09:44,093 --> 00:09:45,761
I JUST THOUGHT
I COULD BORROW IT.
219
00:09:45,828 --> 00:09:46,829
HE NEVER WEARS IT.
220
00:09:46,895 --> 00:09:49,131
YEAH? WELL, HE'S
WEARING IT TODAY.
221
00:09:49,198 --> 00:09:52,201
MAMA, YOU DIDN'T PUT OUT
MY CLOTHES TODAY.
222
00:09:52,267 --> 00:09:54,036
I LAID OUT YOUR PANTS,
DIDN'T I?
223
00:09:54,103 --> 00:09:58,374
NOW GO BACK INSIDE.
YOU'RE--YOU'RE A SPECTACLE.
224
00:10:01,443 --> 00:10:04,780
NEXT TIME YOU SHOULD HAVE YOUR
GRANDMA THROW YOU TO SCHOOL.
225
00:10:04,847 --> 00:10:07,249
YOU'LL GET THERE
A LOT QUICKER.
226
00:10:11,387 --> 00:10:12,388
HI, JOHNNY.
227
00:10:12,454 --> 00:10:13,355
HI!
228
00:10:13,422 --> 00:10:14,656
SEE YOU INSIDE.
229
00:10:14,723 --> 00:10:16,191
NICE. WHO IS SHE?
230
00:10:16,258 --> 00:10:16,992
THAT'S CLAUDIA.
231
00:10:17,059 --> 00:10:18,093
SHE'S THE OTHER
TEACHING ASSISTANT.
232
00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:22,131
WELL, I MAY JUST HAVE TO
AUDIT THIS CLASS OF YOURS.
233
00:10:22,197 --> 00:10:22,998
I'M TOUCHED.
234
00:10:23,065 --> 00:10:25,067
I COULD USE
THE MORAL SUPPORT RIGHT NOW.
235
00:10:25,134 --> 00:10:27,836
I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS
WITH PAULA COMING.
236
00:10:27,903 --> 00:10:28,937
I WANT TO IMPRESS HER.
237
00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:30,072
WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR?
238
00:10:30,139 --> 00:10:31,073
YOU GO AHEAD, JOHNNY.
239
00:10:31,140 --> 00:10:32,741
I'LL BE THERE IN A SEC.
240
00:10:32,808 --> 00:10:33,409
OK. SEE YOU.
241
00:10:33,475 --> 00:10:34,977
I DON'T CARE
HOW HOT SHE IS.
242
00:10:35,044 --> 00:10:39,248
I'M NOT SITTING THROUGH THAT
CLASS WITHOUT GETTIN' HIGH.
243
00:10:40,783 --> 00:10:41,683
[LAUGHS]
244
00:10:41,750 --> 00:10:42,418
[LAUGHING]
245
00:10:42,484 --> 00:10:44,119
SORRY, BRO,
YOU BROKE OLD ETHEL.
246
00:10:44,186 --> 00:10:46,922
THERE'S NO WAY I'M LETTING YOU
TOUCH CATHERINE.
247
00:10:46,989 --> 00:10:49,425
[GROWLING]
248
00:10:50,893 --> 00:10:52,694
HOW MANY TIMES
DO I GOTTA TELL YOU?
249
00:10:52,761 --> 00:10:55,431
NO HORSEPLAY
IN THE FERRARI.
250
00:10:58,300 --> 00:10:59,768
HI, PAULA.
251
00:10:59,835 --> 00:11:01,870
HI, PROFESSOR JENKINS.
252
00:11:01,937 --> 00:11:03,872
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
253
00:11:03,939 --> 00:11:09,778
I GOT ATTACKED BY...
MY FRONT LAWN.
254
00:11:10,079 --> 00:11:10,979
[CLEARS THROAT]
255
00:11:11,046 --> 00:11:12,214
GOOD MORNING, CLASS.
256
00:11:12,281 --> 00:11:13,182
HEY, JOHNNY.
257
00:11:13,248 --> 00:11:15,084
MR. STANKY
IS ON VACATION,
258
00:11:15,150 --> 00:11:17,753
SO I WILL BE
TEACHING THE CLASS TODAY.
259
00:11:17,820 --> 00:11:18,654
[ALL BOOING]
260
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,055
Student: WHO THE HELL
ARE YOU TO TEACH US?
261
00:11:20,122 --> 00:11:22,191
Second student:
AREN'T YOU FAILING?
262
00:11:22,257 --> 00:11:23,192
COME ON.
263
00:11:23,258 --> 00:11:24,326
WAY TO GO.
264
00:11:24,393 --> 00:11:25,427
[SEXY MUSIC PLAYING]
265
00:11:25,494 --> 00:11:28,864
I JUST HAD TO POWDER MY NOSE.
HAVE WE STARTED YET?
266
00:11:28,931 --> 00:11:30,332
NOT YET.
267
00:11:31,266 --> 00:11:32,334
OH, GOOD.
268
00:11:32,401 --> 00:11:34,203
GOOD MORNING, CLASS.
269
00:11:34,269 --> 00:11:37,039
OH, YEAH, BABY,
RIGHT ON. RIGHT ON.
270
00:11:37,106 --> 00:11:38,841
GOOD MORNING, CLAUDIA.
271
00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:40,042
HEY, HEAT MISER!
272
00:11:40,109 --> 00:11:43,245
GET YOUR HAIR OUT OF THE WAY
SO I CAN SEE THE BLACKBOARD.
273
00:11:43,812 --> 00:11:44,947
[GROWLING]
274
00:11:45,013 --> 00:11:46,849
HOW'S YOUR VIEW NOW?
275
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:47,950
MAMA, I'M NERVOUS.
276
00:11:48,016 --> 00:11:51,420
I'VE BEEN OUT OF THE DATING
SCENE FOR A WHILE NOW.
277
00:11:51,487 --> 00:11:53,355
MAYBE I SHOULD
HAVE A DRINK.
278
00:11:53,422 --> 00:11:54,923
NO! LISTEN UP!
279
00:11:54,990 --> 00:11:57,326
YOU'RE STAYING SOBER
FOR THIS ONE.
280
00:11:57,392 --> 00:11:59,128
SEE, THE SECRET
TO DATING...
281
00:11:59,194 --> 00:12:02,464
IS HIDING
WHO YOU REALLY ARE.
282
00:12:02,531 --> 00:12:04,066
[CACKLING]
283
00:12:04,133 --> 00:12:05,267
[CAR PULLS UP]
284
00:12:05,334 --> 00:12:08,003
OH, MY GOD!
SHE'S HERE!
285
00:12:14,209 --> 00:12:15,410
WHAT A COW.
286
00:12:15,477 --> 00:12:17,412
YEAH, A CASH COW!
287
00:12:17,479 --> 00:12:20,449
AND YOU BETTER
MAKE THIS WORK!
288
00:12:24,219 --> 00:12:25,387
NOW, WHEN I SAY GENE,
289
00:12:25,454 --> 00:12:29,458
I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT BUTTON FLY
OR ACID WASHED.
290
00:12:29,525 --> 00:12:34,897
I'M TALKING
ABOUT GENE...ETICS.
291
00:12:36,365 --> 00:12:37,833
GENETICS! RIGHT?
292
00:12:37,900 --> 00:12:40,402
I GOT A BIOLOGY QUESTION
FOR YOU, CLAUDIA.
293
00:12:40,469 --> 00:12:43,005
WAS IT YOUR MOTHER OR FATHER
WHO CARRIED THE HOTTIE GENE?
294
00:12:43,071 --> 00:12:46,542
WAS IT YOUR MOTHER OR FATHER
WHO CARRIED THE JERK OFF GENE?
295
00:12:46,608 --> 00:12:48,043
Students: OOH!
296
00:12:48,110 --> 00:12:50,546
♪ SHE THINKS
YOU'RE A JERK OFF ♪
297
00:12:50,612 --> 00:12:53,015
VIC, DON'T BE
A SHOW BOAT.
298
00:12:53,081 --> 00:12:54,383
CLAY'S NEW
TO THE CLASS,
299
00:12:54,449 --> 00:12:55,851
AND HE'S JUST
TRYING TO FIT IN.
300
00:12:55,918 --> 00:12:58,253
THANKS, TEACH, BUT I DON'T THINK
I NEED PROTECTION
301
00:12:58,320 --> 00:12:58,987
FROM A GUY
WHO GOT BEAT UP
302
00:12:59,054 --> 00:13:01,190
BY HIS GRANDMOTHER
THIS MORNING.
303
00:13:01,256 --> 00:13:02,925
[CLASS LAUGHS]
304
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:04,259
SHE JUST STRIPPED ME OF--
305
00:13:04,326 --> 00:13:05,961
WHY DID YOUR GRANDMA
STRIP YOU?
306
00:13:06,028 --> 00:13:07,496
HE ASKED HER TO.
HE'S HARD UP.
307
00:13:07,563 --> 00:13:11,033
YOU'RE TERRIBLE,
CLAY ZEEMAN!
308
00:13:14,169 --> 00:13:15,070
BUT SERIOUSLY, FOLKS,
309
00:13:15,137 --> 00:13:16,305
YOUR TEACHER,
JOHNNY JENKINS,
310
00:13:16,371 --> 00:13:18,073
COULDN'T GET LAID
IN A HEN HOUSE.
311
00:13:18,140 --> 00:13:19,208
QUIT IT.
312
00:13:19,274 --> 00:13:23,178
THAT'S WHAT JOHNNY'S MOM SAID
RIGHT BEFORE SHE LEFT.
313
00:13:23,512 --> 00:13:24,846
YOU'RE A HOOT.
314
00:13:24,913 --> 00:13:26,348
WANT TO SEE
MY FERRARI?
315
00:13:26,415 --> 00:13:27,149
SURE.
316
00:13:27,216 --> 00:13:29,151
CLASS, LET'S TAKE
A 10-MINUTE BREAK.
317
00:13:29,218 --> 00:13:31,320
All: AWW!
318
00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:34,256
JUST 10 MINUTES, RIGHT?
319
00:13:34,323 --> 00:13:35,891
ARE YOU OK, JOHNNY?
320
00:13:35,958 --> 00:13:37,993
THAT CLAY
IS A MONSTER.
321
00:13:38,060 --> 00:13:39,294
OH, HE'S NOT SO BAD.
322
00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:42,998
IT WAS NICE OF HIM TO COME TO
CLASS AND SUPPORT ME.
323
00:13:43,065 --> 00:13:43,732
WHEN HE GETS BACK,
324
00:13:43,799 --> 00:13:45,534
I'M GONNA KICK HIM
IN THE GONADS.
325
00:13:45,601 --> 00:13:47,035
HEY, JOHNNY,
MAYBE SHE COULD BEAT UP
326
00:13:47,102 --> 00:13:50,172
YOUR GRANDMA FOR YOU
AFTERWARDS, TOO, HUH?
327
00:13:50,239 --> 00:13:52,307
YOU DON'T HAVE
TO DO THAT, PAULA.
328
00:13:52,374 --> 00:13:53,175
I'LL HANDLE IT MYSELF.
329
00:13:53,242 --> 00:13:55,310
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
GO BACK TO YOUR SCHOOL
330
00:13:55,377 --> 00:13:58,146
AND SEE THAT SEXY
FRENCH PROFESSOR
331
00:13:58,213 --> 00:13:59,448
YOU LIKE SO MUCH.
332
00:13:59,514 --> 00:14:01,650
OK, JOHNNY.
333
00:14:03,485 --> 00:14:08,924
COME ON, DOUGIE!
WOO HER! WOO HER!
334
00:14:08,991 --> 00:14:11,260
DO YOU LIKE SANDWICHES?
335
00:14:11,326 --> 00:14:13,195
HMM. I GUESS YOU DO.
336
00:14:13,262 --> 00:14:17,165
SO, WHERE DO YOU GET
A DRESS THAT BIG?
337
00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:19,668
I BEG YOUR PARDON!
338
00:14:19,735 --> 00:14:25,641
HEY, YOU LOVE BIRDS,
HOW ABOUT A BLOODY MARY?
339
00:14:25,707 --> 00:14:27,643
ALL RIGHT!
340
00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:31,480
THIS ONE GOES OUT
TO LEONA VESPER...
341
00:14:31,546 --> 00:14:35,517
♪ THE MINUTE YOU ROLLED
THROUGH THE DOOR ♪
342
00:14:35,584 --> 00:14:36,451
♪ BUM BUM ♪
343
00:14:36,518 --> 00:14:40,522
♪ I COULD TELL YOU WERE
A REAL RICH LADY ♪
344
00:14:40,589 --> 00:14:42,257
A REAL RICH LADY!
345
00:14:42,324 --> 00:14:45,460
♪ HEY RICH LADY ♪
346
00:14:45,527 --> 00:14:48,330
♪ HEY RICH LADY ♪
347
00:14:48,397 --> 00:14:49,931
♪ HEY RICH LADY ♪
348
00:14:49,998 --> 00:14:53,168
♪ SPEND A LITTLE
MONEY ON ME ♪
349
00:14:53,235 --> 00:14:54,469
[CRASH]
350
00:14:54,536 --> 00:14:55,504
Leona: DEAR?
351
00:14:55,570 --> 00:15:00,242
DEAR, CAN WE GET ANOTHER
PITCHER OF THOSE, PLEASE?
352
00:15:11,453 --> 00:15:12,988
Clay's voice:
NOW NO ONE CAN GET HIGH,
353
00:15:13,055 --> 00:15:16,258
YOU SELFISH
BONG-BREAKIN' FERRET.
354
00:15:21,029 --> 00:15:22,631
CLAUDIA SHOULD
BE BACK BY NOW.
355
00:15:22,698 --> 00:15:24,666
LET'S FACE IT. SHE'S GONE.
356
00:15:24,733 --> 00:15:26,568
SHE'S NOT COMING BACK.
357
00:15:26,635 --> 00:15:28,637
OUR LIVES ARE RUINED!
358
00:15:28,704 --> 00:15:30,005
CALM DOWN, EVERYONE.
359
00:15:30,072 --> 00:15:31,973
LET'S JUST GET BACK
TO THE LESSON.
360
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:32,641
FUCK THE LESSON!
361
00:15:32,708 --> 00:15:34,076
HOW CAN WE GET HER
BACK HERE?
362
00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:35,010
JOHNNY'S HIS FRIEND.
363
00:15:35,077 --> 00:15:38,347
LET'S HOLD HIM HOSTAGE
AS RANSOM FOR CLAUDIA.
364
00:15:38,413 --> 00:15:41,283
NO! JOHNNY'S ONE OF US!
365
00:15:41,350 --> 00:15:44,386
COME ON, GUYS,
STOP KIDDING AROUND.
366
00:15:44,453 --> 00:15:47,222
NO! THAT'S A HORRIBLE IDEA!
367
00:15:47,289 --> 00:15:50,392
AHH!
368
00:15:50,459 --> 00:15:53,095
JOHNNY, HELP.
369
00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:55,130
AAH! COME ON!
370
00:15:55,197 --> 00:15:58,200
LET'S CALL
YOUR GIRLFRIEND NOW.
371
00:15:59,234 --> 00:16:00,102
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
372
00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:01,570
HOLD, PLEASE. SPEAK.
373
00:16:01,636 --> 00:16:02,471
BRING THE GIRL BACK
374
00:16:02,537 --> 00:16:04,439
OR WE'RE GONNA TORTURE
YOUR FRIEND JOHNNY.
375
00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:06,043
WHO IS THIS?
376
00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:06,043
IT'S ME, VIC.
377
00:16:06,043 --> 00:16:06,775
WHO IS THIS?
378
00:16:06,043 --> 00:16:06,775
IT'S ME, VIC.
379
00:16:06,842 --> 00:16:07,509
I DON'T KNOW
ANY VIC.
380
00:16:07,576 --> 00:16:09,711
YOU MUST HAVE
THE WRONG NUMBER.
381
00:16:09,778 --> 00:16:10,712
[RING]
382
00:16:10,779 --> 00:16:11,380
SPEAK.
383
00:16:11,446 --> 00:16:13,382
IT'S VIC
FROM BIOLOGY CLASS.
384
00:16:13,448 --> 00:16:16,118
REMEMBER YOU SCARED ME
WITH THE FERRET?
385
00:16:16,184 --> 00:16:16,785
HMM...
386
00:16:16,852 --> 00:16:18,453
I'LL E-MAIL YOU
A PICTURE.
387
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:19,354
NOW I REMEMBER.
388
00:16:19,421 --> 00:16:20,322
YOU'RE
THAT DORKY ASSWIPE
389
00:16:20,389 --> 00:16:21,656
FROM THE CLASS TODAY,
RIGHT?
390
00:16:21,723 --> 00:16:24,793
YEAH! ANYWAY, IF YOU DON'T
BRING CLAUDIA BACK,
391
00:16:24,860 --> 00:16:28,130
WE'RE GONNA TORTURE
YOUR FRIEND JOHNNY REAL BAD.
392
00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:30,432
JOHNNY'S BEEN TORTURED
BY SICKER PEOPLE THAN YOU.
393
00:16:30,499 --> 00:16:31,633
HAVE YOU MET HIS FAMILY?
394
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:33,301
NO. ARE THEY NICE?
395
00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:36,371
JOHNNY CAN TAKE
WHATEVER YOU DISH OUT.
396
00:16:37,606 --> 00:16:39,741
[EXHALING]
397
00:16:44,813 --> 00:16:46,615
AHA!
398
00:16:50,252 --> 00:16:52,687
[SNIFFING]
399
00:16:53,522 --> 00:16:56,158
[GURGLING]
400
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:08,837
NOT SO FAST,
MY LITTLE FURRY FRIEND.
401
00:17:08,904 --> 00:17:11,473
HOW ABOUT A LITTLE WAGER
BEFORE WE LIGHT UP?
402
00:17:11,540 --> 00:17:15,243
LET'S SEE WHO CAN SMOKE
THE MOST WEED.
403
00:17:15,811 --> 00:17:18,713
IF YOU OUT-SMOKE ME,
YOU GET THIS KICK-ASS HOOKA
404
00:17:18,780 --> 00:17:22,117
AND IT'S NEVER-ENDING SUPPLY
OF WACKY TOBACKY.
405
00:17:22,184 --> 00:17:26,455
AND IF I OUT-SMOKE YOU,
I GET YOUR SOUL.
406
00:17:29,191 --> 00:17:30,525
OK. READY?
407
00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:32,828
HOSES UP. GO.
408
00:17:32,894 --> 00:17:35,597
[BOTH INHALING]
409
00:17:39,935 --> 00:17:41,203
[COUGHING]
410
00:17:41,269 --> 00:17:42,604
OH, MAN, THAT'S IT.
411
00:17:42,671 --> 00:17:43,705
I CAN'T SMOKE ANYMORE.
412
00:17:43,772 --> 00:17:45,740
I SHOULD HAVE STUCK
TO THE FIDDLE.
413
00:17:45,807 --> 00:17:48,477
[COUGHING]
414
00:17:48,543 --> 00:17:49,611
TA DA!
415
00:17:49,678 --> 00:17:53,215
THAT'S RIGHT, ANGUS,
YOU'RE THE WINNER.
416
00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:55,517
AND HERE'S YOUR HOOKA.
417
00:17:58,653 --> 00:17:59,754
[DEVIL LAUGHS]
418
00:17:59,821 --> 00:18:02,491
YOU GOT ALL THE WEED
YOU'LL EVER NEED,
419
00:18:02,557 --> 00:18:05,293
BUT YOU'LL NEVER LEAVE.
420
00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:07,329
[LAUGHING]
421
00:18:07,395 --> 00:18:08,897
1, 2...
422
00:18:08,964 --> 00:18:09,631
CHA CHA--
423
00:18:09,698 --> 00:18:12,200
OH, GOD, HOW DOES
THAT GO AGAIN?
424
00:18:12,267 --> 00:18:14,636
OOH! HE'S GREAT,
ISN'T HE?
425
00:18:14,703 --> 00:18:17,506
OH, HE'S VERY,
VERY ENTERTAINING.
426
00:18:17,572 --> 00:18:20,609
THEY'RE GOING
TO ADORE HIM AT CANNES.
427
00:18:20,675 --> 00:18:21,843
OK, SO WHAT'S
THE DEAL?
428
00:18:21,910 --> 00:18:23,578
HAVE YOU SEEN ENOUGH
OR WHAT?
429
00:18:23,645 --> 00:18:25,614
HE'S ALL PACKED
AND READY TO GO.
430
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:28,750
I MUST ADMIT, I LIKE
WHAT I'VE SEEN SO FAR.
431
00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:33,788
BUT, WELL, I HAVEN'T
SEEN IT ALL, NOW HAVE I?
432
00:18:33,855 --> 00:18:38,226
OF COURSE.
I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY.
433
00:18:39,528 --> 00:18:40,462
Dad: HELLO!
434
00:18:40,529 --> 00:18:45,267
OOH! AND LOOK AT THE WONDERFUL
MARBLING HERE!
435
00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:46,601
THAT'S MY DOUGIE.
436
00:18:46,668 --> 00:18:48,370
I'M AWFULLY PROUD.
437
00:18:51,773 --> 00:18:53,742
AAH! OW!
438
00:18:53,808 --> 00:18:56,611
I DON'T THINK
HE CAN TAKE ANYMORE.
439
00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:59,214
OK, WE'LL CALL CLAY AGAIN.
440
00:18:59,281 --> 00:19:00,715
[RING]
441
00:19:00,782 --> 00:19:01,416
SPEAK.
442
00:19:01,483 --> 00:19:02,684
YOUR BOY'S
NOT DOING TOO WELL,
443
00:19:02,751 --> 00:19:05,320
BUT DON'T TAKE
MY WORD FOR IT.
444
00:19:05,387 --> 00:19:08,323
AAH! CLAY! CLAY!
445
00:19:08,390 --> 00:19:09,457
OW!
446
00:19:09,524 --> 00:19:11,560
PLEASE BRING
CLAUDIA BACK!
447
00:19:11,626 --> 00:19:13,395
SO, WHAT DO YOU
THINK OF THAT?
448
00:19:13,461 --> 00:19:14,563
YOU READY
TO DO BUSINESS?
449
00:19:14,629 --> 00:19:17,299
I DON'T NEGOTIATE
WITH TERRORISTS.
450
00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:21,303
HOW COULD I EVER THINK SOMEONE
EVER TRADE YOU FOR CLAUDIA?
451
00:19:21,369 --> 00:19:23,338
HE'S NOT COMING
TO GET ME?
452
00:19:23,405 --> 00:19:24,272
NOPE.
453
00:19:24,339 --> 00:19:25,106
AWW!
454
00:19:24,339 --> 00:19:25,106
AWW!
455
00:19:25,173 --> 00:19:28,276
NOW WE'LL NEVER SEE
HOT CLAUDIA AGAIN.
456
00:19:28,343 --> 00:19:29,344
NEVER AGAIN.
457
00:19:29,411 --> 00:19:30,779
LET'S SHAVE HIS HEAD!
458
00:19:30,845 --> 00:19:32,447
NO! LEAVE HIM ALONE!
459
00:19:32,514 --> 00:19:33,348
HEY, ASSMAR,
460
00:19:33,415 --> 00:19:35,584
YOU JUST BOUGHT YOURSELF
A HEAD SHAVE, TOO.
461
00:19:35,650 --> 00:19:37,652
NO!
462
00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:40,455
WHO KEEPS CALLING YOU?
463
00:19:40,522 --> 00:19:41,957
SOUNDS LIKE JOHNNY'S
HAVING A TOUGH TIME
464
00:19:42,023 --> 00:19:43,425
HANDLING THAT CLASS.
465
00:19:43,491 --> 00:19:45,360
THAT KID'S
SUCH A BITCH.
466
00:19:45,427 --> 00:19:46,227
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
467
00:19:46,294 --> 00:19:47,596
I SAID HE'S A BITCH.
468
00:19:47,662 --> 00:19:49,297
NO ONE MAKES FUN
OF JOHNNY...
469
00:19:49,364 --> 00:19:50,865
EXCEPT FOR ME...
470
00:19:50,932 --> 00:19:53,001
HIS DAD,
HIS GRANDMA,
471
00:19:53,068 --> 00:19:56,404
ANGUS, UM, GOKI,
AND PAULA...
472
00:19:56,471 --> 00:19:57,639
SOMETIMES CHIP...
473
00:19:57,706 --> 00:19:58,840
AND THE MAILMAN
WHEN WE SEE HIM OCCASIONALLY...
474
00:19:58,907 --> 00:20:01,443
AND I GUESS THE GUY
FROM THE RECORD STORE...
475
00:20:01,509 --> 00:20:03,011
AND CARDINAL MALROONEY.
476
00:20:03,078 --> 00:20:05,714
BUT YOU?
YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER.
477
00:20:06,147 --> 00:20:07,849
YOU FUCKING
PIECE OF SHIT!
478
00:20:07,916 --> 00:20:09,818
LOUIS, WE'VE GOT
A HOSTAGE SITUATION.
479
00:20:09,884 --> 00:20:10,719
ASSEMBLE THE S.W.A.T. TEAM.
480
00:20:10,785 --> 00:20:14,289
THESE SADDLEBAGS
CAN BE TOTALLY SUCKED OUT.
481
00:20:14,356 --> 00:20:17,892
Leona: AND WE CAN PUT IN
SOME PEC IMPLANTS.
482
00:20:17,959 --> 00:20:20,729
LOOK HOW MUCH YOUNGER
HE LOOKS WHEN I DO THIS.
483
00:20:20,795 --> 00:20:22,430
I DON'T WANT
TO BE ALL CUT UP.
484
00:20:22,497 --> 00:20:26,301
OH, DON'T YOU WANT
TO BE PRETTY FOR ME?
485
00:20:26,368 --> 00:20:29,004
AND I CAN GET YOU
ON THE DONOR LIST
486
00:20:29,070 --> 00:20:30,805
FOR A NEW LIVER,
487
00:20:30,872 --> 00:20:33,942
THEN YOU CAN DRINK
ALL YOU WANT.
488
00:20:34,009 --> 00:20:35,610
LET THE SLICING BEGIN!
489
00:20:35,677 --> 00:20:37,879
UH, YOU'RE
NOT EXPECTING ME
490
00:20:37,946 --> 00:20:40,281
TO PAY FOR ANY
OF THIS, RIGHT?
491
00:20:40,348 --> 00:20:42,684
NO, OF COURSE NOT, DEAR.
492
00:20:42,751 --> 00:20:44,552
I'M HIS MAMA NOW.
493
00:20:44,619 --> 00:20:47,355
I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.
494
00:20:48,089 --> 00:20:49,057
MAMA?
495
00:20:49,124 --> 00:20:50,925
YES?
496
00:20:49,124 --> 00:20:50,925
YES?
497
00:20:51,993 --> 00:20:53,595
MOVE IN.
498
00:20:55,597 --> 00:20:58,800
BALD AND TOOTHLESS
AT 19.
499
00:20:58,867 --> 00:21:00,702
[CRASH]
500
00:21:01,636 --> 00:21:04,706
AAH! NO!
501
00:21:17,752 --> 00:21:19,654
ALL RIGHT, THIS IS HOW
IT'S GONNA WORK.
502
00:21:19,721 --> 00:21:23,825
I'M TAKING THE KID AND WE'RE
WALKING OUT OF HERE, SEE?
503
00:21:23,892 --> 00:21:25,760
NO!
504
00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:27,962
DON'T DO
ANYTHING STUPID.
505
00:21:28,029 --> 00:21:29,698
OH, I WON'T.
506
00:21:29,764 --> 00:21:31,900
WHOA!
507
00:21:33,034 --> 00:21:34,369
NICE.
508
00:21:34,436 --> 00:21:36,371
GET HIM!
509
00:21:37,038 --> 00:21:39,040
YOU GUYS ARE HEAVY.
510
00:21:39,974 --> 00:21:44,446
I THINK SOMEONE'S GONNA BE
VERY HAPPY TO SEE YOU SAFE.
511
00:21:44,512 --> 00:21:46,581
JOHNNY!
512
00:21:46,915 --> 00:21:48,950
NO! I'M HIS MAMA!
513
00:21:49,017 --> 00:21:50,852
NO! I'M HIS MAMA!
514
00:21:50,919 --> 00:21:53,922
WELL, THERE'S A SIMPLE WAY
TO SETTLE ALL OF THIS.
515
00:21:53,988 --> 00:21:59,360
WE'LL JUST SEE WHO
HE WANTS TO BE HIS MAMA.
516
00:21:59,427 --> 00:22:01,362
GOOD IDEA, FATTIE.
517
00:22:01,429 --> 00:22:02,430
NOW, COME TO MAMA,
518
00:22:02,497 --> 00:22:07,469
AND I'LL GIVE YOU EVERYTHING
YOU EVER DREAMED OF.
519
00:22:07,535 --> 00:22:09,471
DON'T LISTEN TO HER,
DOUGIE!
520
00:22:09,537 --> 00:22:11,740
I'VE ALWAYS
TAKEN CARE OF YOU.
521
00:22:11,806 --> 00:22:13,675
I'M YOUR REAL MAMA.
522
00:22:13,742 --> 00:22:14,776
NO, NO, NO, NO.
523
00:22:14,843 --> 00:22:16,745
COME TO MAMA.
524
00:22:16,811 --> 00:22:21,549
DOUGLAS JENKINS,
GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!
525
00:22:22,550 --> 00:22:23,418
Dad: I CAN'T DECIDE.
526
00:22:23,485 --> 00:22:26,888
YOU BOTH LOOK LIKE
ONE BIG PERSON RIGHT NOW.
527
00:22:26,955 --> 00:22:28,990
Leona: OH, MERCY!
528
00:22:29,057 --> 00:22:30,892
NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID!
529
00:22:30,959 --> 00:22:33,428
WELL,
I'LL JUST CHANGE HIM.
530
00:22:33,495 --> 00:22:35,029
I DO IT ALL THE TIME.
531
00:22:35,096 --> 00:22:38,166
NO, NO, NO. I WILL.
532
00:22:42,570 --> 00:22:43,972
Grandma: HEY, HEY, HEY!
533
00:22:44,038 --> 00:22:46,975
YOU'RE NOT BREADING
A CUTLET DOWN THERE.
534
00:22:47,041 --> 00:22:48,176
Leona: HE'S TENDER.
535
00:22:48,243 --> 00:22:49,144
Dad: OOH!
536
00:22:49,210 --> 00:22:51,980
DID YOU SAY CUTLETS?
537
00:22:52,046 --> 00:22:52,881
YEAH, YOU COW!
538
00:22:52,947 --> 00:22:57,552
NOW, WHY DON'T YOU
LEAVE THIS TO AN EXPERT?
539
00:23:04,492 --> 00:23:06,995
HYAH!
540
00:23:11,266 --> 00:23:13,601
MAMA, I'M COLD.
541
00:23:13,668 --> 00:23:14,803
DAMN STRAIGHT!
542
00:23:14,869 --> 00:23:16,171
I'M YOUR MAMA!
543
00:23:16,237 --> 00:23:17,438
WAIT HERE, BOY,
544
00:23:17,505 --> 00:23:21,476
WHILE I TAKE OUT
THE TRASH.
545
00:23:21,876 --> 00:23:23,611
OUCH!
546
00:23:23,945 --> 00:23:27,849
OOH! OOH! OH! OH! OW!
547
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:34,556
I KNEW YOU'D COME
FOR ME, CLAY.
548
00:23:34,622 --> 00:23:37,058
YEAH, SORRY I FUCKED UP
YOUR CHANCE TO IMPRESS PAULA.
549
00:23:37,125 --> 00:23:38,560
BUT I'M GONNA
MAKE IT UP TO YOU.
550
00:23:38,626 --> 00:23:40,528
I CHOPPERED HER IN ALL THE WAY
FROM COCONUT COLLEGE.
551
00:23:40,595 --> 00:23:42,043
[HELICOPTER APPROACHING]
552
00:23:40,595 --> 00:23:42,043
WOW! SHE MADE GOOD TIME!
553
00:23:42,043 --> 00:23:42,664
[HELICOPTER APPROACHING]
554
00:23:42,043 --> 00:23:42,664
WOW! SHE MADE GOOD TIME!
555
00:23:42,730 --> 00:23:46,134
SHE ONLY LEFT HERE
13 MINUTES AGO.
556
00:23:51,172 --> 00:23:53,141
SO, WHAT DID I MISS?
557
00:23:53,208 --> 00:23:54,042
YOU TWO HAVE FUN.
558
00:23:54,108 --> 00:23:56,010
JOHNNY'S GONNA GIVE YOU
A PRIVATE LESSON,
559
00:23:56,077 --> 00:23:57,946
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
560
00:23:58,012 --> 00:23:58,980
NICE.
561
00:23:59,047 --> 00:24:01,149
JOHNNY,
WHERE'S YOUR HAIR?
562
00:24:01,216 --> 00:24:04,919
UH, MOST OF IT'S
OVER THERE.
563
00:24:05,787 --> 00:24:06,621
OH, LOOK AT YOU,
564
00:24:06,688 --> 00:24:09,157
STANDING THERE
IN FRONT OF YOUR CLASSROOM.
565
00:24:09,224 --> 00:24:12,527
YOU LOOK SO DISTINGUISHED
AND MATURE.
566
00:24:12,594 --> 00:24:14,529
JUST LIKE
MY HISTORY PROFESSOR.
567
00:24:14,596 --> 00:24:15,530
REALLY?
568
00:24:15,597 --> 00:24:17,165
YEAH.
EXCEPT HE HAS HAIR.
569
00:24:17,232 --> 00:24:19,634
BESIDES THAT,
YOU LOOK JUST LIKE HIM.
570
00:24:19,701 --> 00:24:21,502
TEACHING WAS
A LOT HARDER
571
00:24:21,569 --> 00:24:23,137
THAN I THOUGHT
IT WAS GOING TO BE.
572
00:24:23,204 --> 00:24:26,241
I'M SORRY YOU HAD
TO SEE ME LIKE THAT.
573
00:24:26,307 --> 00:24:28,109
WELL,
UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES,
574
00:24:28,176 --> 00:24:31,079
I THOUGHT YOU WERE GREAT.
575
00:24:32,113 --> 00:24:34,282
OOPS.
YOU LOST SOMETHING.
576
00:24:34,349 --> 00:24:36,684
[LISPING]
I'M SO EMBARRASSED.
577
00:24:37,752 --> 00:24:39,954
UH, YOU CAN HARDLY NOTICE.
578
00:24:40,021 --> 00:24:41,723
IT MAKES YOU LOOK OLDER,
ANYWAY.
579
00:24:41,789 --> 00:24:44,092
DO YOU REALLY THINK I COULD
BE A TEACHER SOMEDAY?
580
00:24:44,158 --> 00:24:48,196
I THINK YOU CAN DO ANYTHING
YOU SET YOUR MIND TO, JOHNNY.
581
00:24:48,263 --> 00:24:49,230
REALLY?
582
00:24:49,297 --> 00:24:49,931
SURE.
583
00:24:49,998 --> 00:24:51,766
I THINK YOU COULD
DO ANYTHING,
584
00:24:51,833 --> 00:24:54,168
GO ANYWHERE,
BE ANYBODY,
585
00:24:54,235 --> 00:24:55,904
DATE ANY GIRL,
586
00:24:55,970 --> 00:24:59,240
COOK ANY MEAL,
VACUUM ANY RUG,
587
00:24:59,307 --> 00:25:03,044
WAX ANY FLOOR,
TAKE OUT ANY GARBAGE.
588
00:25:03,811 --> 00:25:04,445
OH...
589
00:25:04,512 --> 00:25:07,282
WHEN YOU SAID,
"DATE ANY GIRL,"
590
00:25:07,348 --> 00:25:10,051
DID YOU MEAN
"ANY GIRL"?
591
00:25:10,118 --> 00:25:11,753
NOT JUST ANY GIRL.
592
00:25:11,819 --> 00:25:12,620
YOU NEED TO FIND A GIRL
593
00:25:12,687 --> 00:25:15,657
WHO LIKES TO SLEEP
WITH THEIR PROFESSORS.
594
00:25:15,723 --> 00:25:20,561
GOOD LUCK, JOHNNY!
I KNOW SHE'S OUT THERE.
595
00:25:20,628 --> 00:25:21,329
YOU KNOW, MAMA,
596
00:25:21,396 --> 00:25:23,264
YOU REALLY DO
BLOODY MARYS RIGHT.
597
00:25:23,331 --> 00:25:25,767
YEAH, WELL, JUST BECAUSE
I'M NOT WILLING
598
00:25:25,833 --> 00:25:28,136
TO GIVE YOU AWAY
TO SOME RICH ELEPHANT
599
00:25:28,202 --> 00:25:31,940
DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE NOT
AN EMBARRASSMENT AS A SON.
600
00:25:32,006 --> 00:25:32,774
OF COURSE, MAMA.
601
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:34,742
Clay: ANGUS, BUDDY,
YOU SAVED THE DAY.
602
00:25:34,809 --> 00:25:35,743
YOU ROLLED IN,
603
00:25:35,810 --> 00:25:36,744
AND THOSE GEEKS
WENT DOWN FASTER
604
00:25:36,811 --> 00:25:40,615
THAN JOHNNY'S GRANDMA
AT A HUGE COCK CONVENTION.
605
00:25:40,682 --> 00:25:43,017
I GOT YOU SOMETHING AS
A TOKEN OF MY APPRECIATION.
606
00:25:43,084 --> 00:25:46,187
THAT'S RIGHT, BUDDY,
YOUR VERY OWN HOOKA...
607
00:25:46,254 --> 00:25:48,089
VERONICA.
608
00:25:48,156 --> 00:25:50,325
[PURRING]
609
00:25:52,994 --> 00:25:55,630
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]