1
00:01:04,907 --> 00:01:10,213
[DYING TROLL NOISES]
2
00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:11,280
HA HA!
3
00:01:11,347 --> 00:01:14,550
YOU SHOULD HAVE GIVEN YOUR TROLL
MORE STAMINA, ANGUS.
4
00:01:14,617 --> 00:01:15,551
EH! ARRGH.
5
00:01:15,618 --> 00:01:17,820
SORE LOSER.
6
00:01:18,921 --> 00:01:20,323
GET ME ANOTHER BEER.
7
00:01:20,389 --> 00:01:21,324
EH-EH.
8
00:01:21,390 --> 00:01:23,125
WINNERS TALK,
LOSERS WALK.
9
00:01:23,192 --> 00:01:24,827
NOW, GO GET THE BEER.
10
00:01:24,894 --> 00:01:27,530
GIMME THAT!
11
00:01:28,397 --> 00:01:30,043
[BELCH]
12
00:01:28,397 --> 00:01:30,043
NICE.
13
00:01:30,043 --> 00:01:30,566
[BELCH]
14
00:01:30,043 --> 00:01:30,566
NICE.
15
00:01:39,208 --> 00:01:40,276
YEAH, RIGHT.
16
00:01:40,343 --> 00:01:42,778
I WISH THE COUCH WOULD JUST
ROLL OVER TO THE FRIDGE.
17
00:01:42,845 --> 00:01:45,581
THEN I WOULD BE WILLING
TO REACH FOR THE BEER,
18
00:01:45,648 --> 00:01:49,151
BUT THE WALK AND THE REACH
COMBO IS FOR POOR PEOPLE.
19
00:01:49,218 --> 00:01:51,554
THERE'S GOTTA BE
AN EASIER WAY.
20
00:01:51,621 --> 00:01:54,524
LET'S SEE WHAT
WE GOT.
21
00:01:55,958 --> 00:01:57,260
HOLD ON, ANGUS.
22
00:01:57,326 --> 00:01:59,362
IT'S NOT AS GOOD
AS IT LOOKS.
23
00:01:59,428 --> 00:02:01,797
WE'D STILL HAVE TO
LEAN INTO THEM.
24
00:02:01,864 --> 00:02:03,733
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
WE'LL GET IT.
25
00:02:03,799 --> 00:02:06,235
LEANING IS GOOD
FOR THE OLD PELVIS,
26
00:02:06,302 --> 00:02:08,671
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
27
00:02:09,705 --> 00:02:12,208
YOU GOT IT, BRO!
28
00:02:14,677 --> 00:02:15,278
DECLINED?
29
00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:16,812
WHAT THE FUCK
IS THAT SHIT?
30
00:02:16,879 --> 00:02:19,882
FINE. THERE'S PLENTY
WHERE THAT CAME FROM.
31
00:02:21,751 --> 00:02:23,386
DECLINED?
32
00:02:23,753 --> 00:02:25,421
DECLINED?
33
00:02:25,488 --> 00:02:28,724
DECLINED?! I'LL CHECK
THE ACCOUNTS.
34
00:02:31,694 --> 00:02:32,929
YOU'RE RIGHT, ANGUS.
35
00:02:32,995 --> 00:02:34,664
MY ACCOUNTANT'S
GETTING A PHONE CALL.
36
00:02:34,730 --> 00:02:36,566
HEY, ALAN,
WHAT THE FUCK?
37
00:02:36,632 --> 00:02:37,466
CLAY.
38
00:02:37,533 --> 00:02:39,535
YOUR ACCOUNTS HAVE BEEN
FROZEN BY THE IRS.
39
00:02:39,602 --> 00:02:41,470
THERE'S TOO MUCH
COOKING THE BOOKS.
40
00:02:41,537 --> 00:02:43,272
WHY DO YOU THINK
I'M IN JAIL?
41
00:02:43,339 --> 00:02:44,273
JAIL?
42
00:02:44,340 --> 00:02:45,274
YES, IT'S NICE.
43
00:02:45,341 --> 00:02:46,809
WAITER!
ANOTHER PIÑA COLADA.
44
00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:49,712
AHEM! ANYWAY, CLAY,
YOU BETTER GET A LAWYER.
45
00:02:49,779 --> 00:02:52,448
I ALREADY HAVE A LAWYER.
I'M CALLING HIM RIGHT NOW.
46
00:02:52,515 --> 00:02:54,617
DON'T BOTHER.
HE'S RIGHT HERE.
47
00:02:54,684 --> 00:02:55,885
HEY, CLAY,
YOU'RE UP A CREEK,
48
00:02:55,952 --> 00:02:57,887
BUT IF YOU'RE
CONVICTED THIS WEEKEND,
49
00:02:57,954 --> 00:02:59,956
YOU MIGHT STILL MAKE IT
FOR THE LUAU.
50
00:03:00,022 --> 00:03:01,958
FUCK THE LUAU.
I'M NOT GOING TO JAIL,
51
00:03:02,024 --> 00:03:03,559
NO MATTER HOW GREAT IT IS.
52
00:03:03,626 --> 00:03:04,760
WELL,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
53
00:03:04,827 --> 00:03:07,330
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS SELL EVERYTHING,
54
00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:10,299
GET A JOB LIKE
A NORMAL PERSON,
55
00:03:10,366 --> 00:03:12,468
OR YOU CAN COME
TO THE LUAU.
56
00:03:12,535 --> 00:03:15,004
YOU USELESS SONS OF BITCHES!
57
00:03:15,071 --> 00:03:18,774
LIKE A...NORMAL...PERSON?
58
00:03:26,949 --> 00:03:28,484
YEAH. DOMESTIC.
59
00:03:28,551 --> 00:03:30,319
YUM.
60
00:03:30,886 --> 00:03:33,456
IT'S A GREAT DAY HERE
AT COGS AND WIDGETS.
61
00:03:33,522 --> 00:03:34,690
HOLD, PLEASE.
62
00:03:34,757 --> 00:03:37,360
GREAT DAY HERE AT COGS AND
WIDGETS. HOLD, PLEASE.
63
00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:39,895
IT'S A GREAT DAY HERE
AT COGS AND WIDGETS.
64
00:03:39,962 --> 00:03:41,297
HOLD, PLEASE.
65
00:03:41,364 --> 00:03:42,765
4...5...6.
66
00:03:42,832 --> 00:03:43,933
ONLY 38 MORE PAYMENTS,
67
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,035
AND WE CAN TAKE IT HOME,
ANGUS!
68
00:03:46,102 --> 00:03:49,639
YOU CAN ALSO HAVE THE REMOTE
FOR ANOTHER $20.
69
00:03:49,705 --> 00:03:52,441
I DON'T NEED IT.
I LIKE TO GET UP AND WALK.
70
00:03:52,508 --> 00:03:55,311
IT'S GOOD FOR MY LEGS.
71
00:03:55,611 --> 00:03:56,679
[SHUDDERS] OOH...
72
00:03:56,746 --> 00:03:57,947
GOTTA GET MY MONEY BACK...
73
00:03:58,014 --> 00:04:00,783
OTHERWISE, I'LL HAVE TO
BUY ALL-NEW PANTS.
74
00:04:00,850 --> 00:04:03,486
GONNA FIGHT THE IRS.
75
00:04:05,121 --> 00:04:05,921
WE'RE GONNA FIGHT 'EM.
76
00:04:05,988 --> 00:04:08,024
BUT WE'LL NEED SOME CASH
TO TIDE US OVER.
77
00:04:08,090 --> 00:04:09,291
LET'S GO.
78
00:04:13,763 --> 00:04:15,031
GOOD MORNING, MAMA.
79
00:04:15,097 --> 00:04:16,799
HOW ARE YOU DOING
TODAY?
80
00:04:16,866 --> 00:04:17,767
DON'T TAUNT ME LIKE THAT.
81
00:04:17,833 --> 00:04:21,370
YOU KNOW DAMN WELL
I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M DOING!
82
00:04:21,437 --> 00:04:23,039
I'M SURE YOU'RE FINE,
GRANDMA.
83
00:04:23,105 --> 00:04:24,740
YEAH? WELL,
WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
84
00:04:24,807 --> 00:04:26,409
YOU'RE THE SON
OF AN IDIOT,
85
00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:28,377
AND YOU GO TO SCHOOL
FOR IDIOTS.
86
00:04:28,444 --> 00:04:29,879
DOCTOR SAID
YOU LOOKED ALL RIGHT.
87
00:04:29,945 --> 00:04:32,682
OF COURSE SHE DID.
I HAPPEN TO LOOK GREAT.
88
00:04:32,748 --> 00:04:34,417
LISTEN, WE WON'T REALLY
KNOW ANYTHING
89
00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:35,951
UNTIL MY TESTS COME BACK.
90
00:04:36,018 --> 00:04:37,787
I DON'T KNOW.
91
00:04:37,853 --> 00:04:40,322
AT MY AGE, YOU NEVER KNOW
WHAT COULD GO WRONG.
92
00:04:40,389 --> 00:04:44,060
I COULD BE ROTTING FROM THE
INSIDE OUT FOR ALL I KNOW.
93
00:04:44,126 --> 00:04:45,594
OH, GOD!
94
00:04:45,661 --> 00:04:47,963
THE DOCTOR WILL MAKE YOU BETTER,
MAMA. I KNOW SHE WILL.
95
00:04:48,030 --> 00:04:49,632
HEY, GRANDMA,
MAYBE THESE WILL HELP.
96
00:04:49,699 --> 00:04:52,068
WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE,
VITAMINS?
97
00:04:52,134 --> 00:04:53,869
NO! THEY'RE MAGIC BEANS.
98
00:04:53,936 --> 00:04:56,439
YOU DUNCE!
HOW MUCH WERE THEY?
99
00:04:56,505 --> 00:04:57,807
$49.
100
00:04:57,873 --> 00:04:58,808
WHAT?!
101
00:04:58,874 --> 00:05:00,976
YOU GO RETURN THEM
RIGHT NOW!
102
00:05:01,043 --> 00:05:03,746
I CAN'T. THE GYPSY
WHO SOLD THEM TO ME
103
00:05:03,813 --> 00:05:06,949
FLEW AWAY
HIGH UP INTO THE SKY.
104
00:05:07,016 --> 00:05:10,653
ALL RIGHT, ANGUS,
LET'S FIND SOME CRAP TO SELL.
105
00:05:13,622 --> 00:05:15,624
HEY, CHECK OUT THOSE ROCKS.
106
00:05:16,692 --> 00:05:19,128
THEY'RE OUR TICKET
TO EASY STREET.
107
00:05:19,195 --> 00:05:21,697
BAG 'EM, ANGUS.
108
00:05:21,764 --> 00:05:23,365
GIMME THOSE BEANS!
109
00:05:23,432 --> 00:05:24,834
NEVER!
110
00:05:25,301 --> 00:05:28,037
JOHNNY, MR. JENKINS.
111
00:05:25,301 --> 00:05:28,037
HEY, CLAY.
112
00:05:28,104 --> 00:05:29,805
TODAY IS YOUR
LUCKY DAY.
113
00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:30,940
YOU'RE LOOKIN' GOOD.
114
00:05:31,006 --> 00:05:32,641
MR. JENKINS, I'M STRAIGHT.
115
00:05:32,708 --> 00:05:34,510
CAME HERE TO OFFER
YOU AND JOHNNY
116
00:05:34,577 --> 00:05:36,378
THE CHANCE OF A LIFETIME.
117
00:05:36,445 --> 00:05:37,213
I'M IN, I'M IN!
118
00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:39,014
I KNEW WE'D BE PARTNERS
SOMEDAY, CLAY.
119
00:05:39,081 --> 00:05:41,383
WELL, AS MUCH AS I WOULD
LOVE TO BE PARTNERS...
120
00:05:41,450 --> 00:05:44,453
WITH AN EXPERIENCED SALESMAN
SUCH AS YOURSELF,
121
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:45,688
I JUST CAN'T.
122
00:05:45,755 --> 00:05:48,924
YOU'RE TOO VALUABLE TO ME AS AN
EMPLOYEE TO BE MY PARTNER.
123
00:05:48,991 --> 00:05:50,459
GEE WHIZ. THANKS.
124
00:05:50,526 --> 00:05:52,528
DOUGIE! DOUGIE,
DON'T LEAVE ME.
125
00:05:52,595 --> 00:05:54,430
[PANTING]
I'M DYING!
126
00:05:54,497 --> 00:05:57,633
BUTT OUT, OLD LADY.
I'M RUNNIN' THINGS.
127
00:05:57,700 --> 00:05:58,501
OH, SNAP.
128
00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:00,803
OH, NO, YOU DIDN'T!
129
00:06:01,771 --> 00:06:02,671
OW!
130
00:06:02,738 --> 00:06:04,940
AW, COME ON.
131
00:06:05,007 --> 00:06:08,677
CAN YOU PUT A PRICE TAG
ON A PERSON'S PEACE OF MIND?
132
00:06:08,744 --> 00:06:09,712
NO. 'CAUSE
IT'S INVISIBLE.
133
00:06:09,779 --> 00:06:12,047
RIGHT, ASSMAR.
PEACE OF MIND IS INVISIBLE.
134
00:06:12,114 --> 00:06:16,018
BUT THIS ANCIENT TIBETAN
HEALING ROCK IS NOT.
135
00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:18,587
WHICH IS A GOOD
SELLING POINT.
136
00:06:18,654 --> 00:06:20,122
I KNOW,
'CAUSE I'M IN SALES.
137
00:06:20,189 --> 00:06:22,024
THESE TIBETAN HEALING ROCKS
138
00:06:22,091 --> 00:06:24,093
HAVE ANCIENT TIBETAN
HEALING POWERS!
139
00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:27,029
THEY CAN HEAL ANYTHING.
140
00:06:27,096 --> 00:06:28,964
YOU SEE, GUYS,
IT'S LIKE THIS.
141
00:06:29,031 --> 00:06:30,833
ON THE ONE HAND,
YOU GOT YOUR CHI,
142
00:06:30,900 --> 00:06:32,968
IN THE OTHER HAND,
YOU GOT YOUR CHAKRAS.
143
00:06:33,035 --> 00:06:34,837
AND THE ROCKS BRING
THAT SHIT TOGETHER
144
00:06:34,904 --> 00:06:39,575
AND MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.
IT'S FUCKIN' MYSTICAL.
145
00:06:39,642 --> 00:06:40,309
WOW!
146
00:06:39,642 --> 00:06:40,309
WOW!
147
00:06:40,376 --> 00:06:42,044
IT'S OUR DUTY
TO GET THESE ROCKS
148
00:06:42,111 --> 00:06:44,013
TO THE PEOPLE
WHO NEED THEM MOST...
149
00:06:44,079 --> 00:06:46,582
FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE
OF $100 A ROCK.
150
00:06:46,649 --> 00:06:50,452
THINK OF IT AS A PUBLIC SERVICE,
LIKE A GARBAGE MAN.
151
00:06:50,519 --> 00:06:51,921
OOH!
152
00:06:50,519 --> 00:06:51,921
OOH!
153
00:06:51,987 --> 00:06:53,722
HOW DO WE KNOW
WHO TO CALL?
154
00:06:53,789 --> 00:06:55,191
JUST CALL PEOPLE
IN THE PHONE BOOK.
155
00:06:55,257 --> 00:06:57,459
I'M TIRED OF EXPLAINING
THIS SHIT TO YOU GUYS.
156
00:06:57,526 --> 00:06:59,762
I GOTTA GO OUT
AND FIND SOME MORE ROCKS.
157
00:06:59,829 --> 00:07:00,863
JOHNNY,
YOU'RE IN CHARGE.
158
00:07:00,930 --> 00:07:03,132
[SNARLING]
159
00:07:00,930 --> 00:07:03,132
I WANT ALL THESE ROCKS SOLD
160
00:07:03,199 --> 00:07:05,734
BY THE TIME I GET BACK.
161
00:07:05,801 --> 00:07:06,836
OK, TEAM. YOU HEARD HIM!
162
00:07:06,902 --> 00:07:10,940
THERE ARE SICK PEOPLE OUT THERE
WHO NEED THESE ROCKS!
163
00:07:11,006 --> 00:07:11,841
WE'RE THEIR ONLY HOPE!
164
00:07:11,907 --> 00:07:14,944
SO LET'S HIT THE PHONES
AND DO SOME GOOD.
165
00:07:15,010 --> 00:07:17,046
YEAH. WHERE'S
THE LIQUOR CABINET?
166
00:07:17,112 --> 00:07:20,216
WHOA, LOOK AT THAT TV!
167
00:07:20,683 --> 00:07:22,885
LEWIS, WHAT'S UP
WITH THE IRS?
168
00:07:22,952 --> 00:07:24,520
WE'RE ALL DONE HERE.
169
00:07:24,587 --> 00:07:25,221
AND...
170
00:07:25,287 --> 00:07:26,956
AND WE'RE GONNA
KICK BACK NOW.
171
00:07:27,022 --> 00:07:29,258
TELL ME WHO THE AGENT IS
AND WHERE TO FIND HIM.
172
00:07:29,325 --> 00:07:30,960
YOUR MAN
IS HERB STERLY.
173
00:07:31,026 --> 00:07:32,761
YOU WANT ME
TO SPELL THAT?
174
00:07:32,828 --> 00:07:34,230
[SIGHS] OK. GO
175
00:07:34,296 --> 00:07:36,498
IF THERE'S ANYTHING
WRONG WITH ME,
176
00:07:36,565 --> 00:07:38,500
I'LL SUE
THE TOBACCO COMPANIES.
177
00:07:38,567 --> 00:07:39,802
[COUGH COUGH]
178
00:07:39,869 --> 00:07:41,203
AND THE PESTICIDE
COMPANIES
179
00:07:41,270 --> 00:07:43,172
AND THE BASTARD
WHO INVENTED FRENCH FRIES.
180
00:07:43,239 --> 00:07:46,876
HOW COULD SOMETHING
SO BAD FOR YOU TASTE SO GOOD?
181
00:07:46,942 --> 00:07:48,544
[RING]
182
00:07:48,611 --> 00:07:50,779
DON'T HELLO ME, DOCTOR.
183
00:07:50,846 --> 00:07:52,615
I'M A DYING OLD LADY!
184
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:55,618
JUST GIVE IT TO ME STRAIGHT.
185
00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:56,619
HUH?
186
00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:59,588
A SEXUALLY
TRANSMITTED DISEASE?
187
00:07:59,655 --> 00:08:01,190
CHLAMYDIA?
188
00:08:01,257 --> 00:08:02,925
HALLELUJAH!
189
00:08:02,992 --> 00:08:04,727
I'M GONNA LIVE!
190
00:08:04,793 --> 00:08:07,897
OF COURSE, I'M GONNA
HAVE TO BUY NEW UNDERWEAR.
191
00:08:07,963 --> 00:08:09,665
WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
192
00:08:09,732 --> 00:08:13,636
EVERYONE I'VE HAD SEX WITH
IN THE LAST 6 MONTHS?
193
00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:16,906
JESUS CHRIST!
WHAT A HUMILIATION!
194
00:08:16,972 --> 00:08:17,806
[SIGHS]
195
00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:19,675
YEAH. I UNDERSTAND,
DOCTOR.
196
00:08:19,742 --> 00:08:22,912
BUT, UH...YOU BETTER PUT
YOUR HUSBAND ON THE PHONE
197
00:08:22,978 --> 00:08:26,148
AND GO WASH OUT
YOUR COOCHIE.
198
00:08:27,283 --> 00:08:30,286
THIS IS THAT RAT
HERB STERLY'S HOUSE.
199
00:08:30,352 --> 00:08:31,253
RRR! RRR!
200
00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:34,990
YOU'RE GOING TO GET YOUR
CHANCE, LITTLE BUDDY.
201
00:08:38,227 --> 00:08:39,094
HEY, GUYS, COME ON IN.
202
00:08:39,161 --> 00:08:41,263
I'M JUST PUTTING UP
MY CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS
203
00:08:41,330 --> 00:08:42,031
5 MONTHS EARLY.
204
00:08:42,097 --> 00:08:43,966
WELL, WE DON'T WANT
TO BOTHER YOU.
205
00:08:44,033 --> 00:08:45,701
WE JUST WANT
TO BRIBE YOU.
206
00:08:45,768 --> 00:08:46,802
I'M SORRY.
207
00:08:46,869 --> 00:08:50,005
DID YOU JUST SAY YOU WANTED
TO BRIBE ME, CLAY ZEEMAN?
208
00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:51,273
YES, I DID.
209
00:08:51,340 --> 00:08:53,676
ONE MORE TAKE,
WITH FEELING, THIS TIME.
210
00:08:53,742 --> 00:08:55,844
THERE WAS PLENTY
OF FEELIN' IN THAT LAST ONE.
211
00:08:55,911 --> 00:08:56,812
I FUCKIN' NAILED IT.
212
00:08:56,879 --> 00:08:59,815
HA HA. THAT'S ALL I NEED...
213
00:08:59,882 --> 00:09:01,283
AND I GOT IT
ALL ON TAPE.
214
00:09:01,350 --> 00:09:05,120
THANKS,
AND MERRY CHRISTMAS.
215
00:09:06,655 --> 00:09:07,389
THANKS TO YOUR CASE,
216
00:09:07,456 --> 00:09:10,259
I'M THE I.R.S EMPLOYEE
OF THE MONTH.
217
00:09:10,326 --> 00:09:11,927
HOORAY!
218
00:09:12,928 --> 00:09:14,263
AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!
219
00:09:14,330 --> 00:09:16,732
I'VE NEVER MET AN
ASSHOLE CRIPPLE BEFORE.
220
00:09:16,799 --> 00:09:18,801
USUALLY,
THEY'RE SO NICE.
221
00:09:20,369 --> 00:09:24,239
Dad: IT'S A TANZANIAN
HEALING ROCK FROM PORTLAND.
222
00:09:24,306 --> 00:09:24,974
JUST BUY IT.
223
00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:27,343
IT'S $100.
WHO CAN'T AFFORD $100?
224
00:09:27,409 --> 00:09:30,212
WELL, WHERE ARE
YOUR PARENTS?
225
00:09:30,279 --> 00:09:32,881
YOU KNOW WHERE THEY KEEP
THEIR CREDIT CARDS?
226
00:09:32,948 --> 00:09:33,949
WELL, CHECK HER PURSE.
227
00:09:34,016 --> 00:09:36,885
HEY, DON'T MAKE ME
COME OVER THERE.
228
00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:38,887
NO, YOU'RE FAT!
229
00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:41,223
NO, YOU'RE FAT!
230
00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:42,992
NO, YOU'RE FAT!
231
00:09:43,058 --> 00:09:44,760
HOW'S IT GOIN'?
232
00:09:44,827 --> 00:09:45,761
NO, YOU SHUT UP.
233
00:09:45,828 --> 00:09:47,363
NO, YOU SHUT UP!
234
00:09:47,429 --> 00:09:50,399
NO, YOU SHUT UP!
SHUT UP TIMES A MILLION!
235
00:09:50,466 --> 00:09:52,067
OHH, DAMN IT!
236
00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:52,935
INFINITY.
237
00:09:53,002 --> 00:09:54,737
SHOULDA
SEEN IT COMING.
238
00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:55,571
EVERYTHING OK, DAD?
239
00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:58,240
YEAH, I ALMOST HAD
THE LITTLE BASTARD.
240
00:09:58,307 --> 00:10:00,676
MAYBE YOU SHOULD
FOCUS ON GROWNUPS.
241
00:10:00,743 --> 00:10:02,144
MAYBE YOU SHOULD
MIND YOUR BUSINESS.
242
00:10:02,211 --> 00:10:04,980
I BEEN FEEDIN' THIS FAMILY
SINCE BEFORE YOU WERE BORN.
243
00:10:05,047 --> 00:10:06,915
NOW DON'T TELL ME
HOW TO MAKE A BUCK, SON.
244
00:10:06,982 --> 00:10:08,217
LUNCH TIME!
245
00:10:12,221 --> 00:10:14,089
TIBETAN HEALING ROCKS.
HOW MAY I HELP YOU?
246
00:10:14,156 --> 00:10:14,923
WELL, I WAS WONDERING,
247
00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:17,226
DO YOU GUYS BUY
TIBETAN HEALING ROCKS?
248
00:10:17,292 --> 00:10:19,028
ACTUALLY,
WE SELL THEM.
249
00:10:19,094 --> 00:10:20,329
OH, REALLY? HOW MUCH?
250
00:10:20,396 --> 00:10:21,330
OMAR?
251
00:10:21,397 --> 00:10:22,798
HOW DID YOU
KNOW MY NAME?
252
00:10:22,865 --> 00:10:25,134
IT'S ME,
YOUR BEST FRIEND.
253
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:26,168
QUINCY?
254
00:10:26,235 --> 00:10:27,169
NO...
255
00:10:27,236 --> 00:10:28,170
ARMAND?
256
00:10:28,237 --> 00:10:29,138
OMAR...
257
00:10:29,204 --> 00:10:31,840
YOUR BEST FRIEND!
258
00:10:31,907 --> 00:10:33,008
QUINCY?
259
00:10:33,075 --> 00:10:35,377
IT'S ME, JOHNNY!
260
00:10:35,444 --> 00:10:36,445
WHO?
261
00:10:36,512 --> 00:10:38,247
OMAR, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING?
262
00:10:38,313 --> 00:10:42,351
I'M TALKING TO SOME
WHACK JOB NAMED JOHNNY.
263
00:10:42,418 --> 00:10:44,887
UH, HELLO, ROBERT?
264
00:10:44,953 --> 00:10:46,255
IT'S SYLVIA.
265
00:10:46,321 --> 00:10:47,122
OH, YEAH, WELL,
266
00:10:47,189 --> 00:10:49,324
I'VE BEEN MEANING
TO CALL YOU, TOO, HON.
267
00:10:49,391 --> 00:10:51,460
HOW'S YOUR MOVIE POSTER
COLLECTION?
268
00:10:51,527 --> 00:10:54,396
OH. GOOD.
GREAT, GREAT, GREAT.
269
00:10:54,463 --> 00:10:57,299
WELL, UH, AHEM, I, UM,
270
00:10:57,366 --> 00:10:59,835
I HAVE SOMETHING A LITTLE
DIFFICULT TO TELL YOU.
271
00:10:59,902 --> 00:11:02,704
I MEAN,
IT'S A LITTLE AWKWARD.
272
00:11:02,771 --> 00:11:04,473
WELL, UM, LET'S SEE...
273
00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:09,244
I HAVE WHAT THEY CALL
AN S.T.D.
274
00:11:09,311 --> 00:11:10,212
[ROBERT SCREAMS]
275
00:11:10,279 --> 00:11:12,915
ALL RIGHT,
STOP SCREAMING, OK?!
276
00:11:12,981 --> 00:11:14,016
IT WAS IRRESPONSIBLE,
277
00:11:14,083 --> 00:11:16,785
BUT YOU KNEW I PLAYED
THE FIELD WHEN WE GOT INVOLVED!
278
00:11:16,852 --> 00:11:21,824
LISTEN, UH, WHY DON'T WE GET
TOGETHER TO TALK THIS OUT?
279
00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:23,325
I MEAN, FUCK IT,
280
00:11:23,392 --> 00:11:27,763
WE'RE BOTH INFECTED
ALREADY, SO WHAT THE HELL?
281
00:11:29,798 --> 00:11:31,834
LET'S SEE, UH, WHO'S NEXT?
282
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:35,871
OH, NO, I DON'T WANNA
TALK TO THIS GUY AGAIN.
283
00:11:35,938 --> 00:11:37,306
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
284
00:11:37,372 --> 00:11:38,841
[RING]
285
00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:40,976
[RASPS]
HELLO?
286
00:11:41,043 --> 00:11:42,978
UH, GLUG GLUG?
IS THAT YOU?
287
00:11:43,045 --> 00:11:47,449
[HYPERVENTILATES]
I'M SO HAPPY YOU CALLED!
288
00:11:47,516 --> 00:11:49,251
GLUG GLUG MISS YOU.
289
00:11:49,318 --> 00:11:50,886
OH, GOD.
290
00:11:50,953 --> 00:11:52,020
GLUG GLUG, LISTEN UP,
291
00:11:52,087 --> 00:11:53,856
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
GO TO THE DOCTOR.
292
00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:56,325
[SOBS]
NO DOCTOR!
293
00:11:56,391 --> 00:11:58,894
NO DOCTOR!
294
00:11:58,961 --> 00:12:01,997
OH, GOD, WHY DIDN'T
I MAKE HIM WEAR A CONDOM?
295
00:12:02,064 --> 00:12:03,098
ECCH!
296
00:12:03,165 --> 00:12:04,500
WELL, I'LL NEVER
GO BAREBACK AGAIN,
297
00:12:04,566 --> 00:12:06,268
I'LL TELL YA THAT ONE.
298
00:12:06,602 --> 00:12:07,803
[GRUNTS]
299
00:12:08,370 --> 00:12:11,273
FIRST WE CUT HIM OFF
FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD,
300
00:12:11,340 --> 00:12:13,008
THEN HE'LL PLAY BALL.
301
00:12:13,075 --> 00:12:14,209
[WHISTLES]
302
00:12:14,276 --> 00:12:15,277
AAH!
303
00:12:15,344 --> 00:12:16,512
WHERE'D MY RAMP GO?
304
00:12:16,578 --> 00:12:19,081
LISTEN, IF YOU EVER
WANT TO SEE THAT RAMP AGAIN,
305
00:12:19,148 --> 00:12:20,382
YOU'LL GIVE ME
MY MONEY BACK.
306
00:12:20,449 --> 00:12:23,852
OK, OK, JUST HELP ME UP
AND WE'LL GO TO MY COMPUTER.
307
00:12:23,919 --> 00:12:26,421
I HATE BEING ALL HELPLESS
ON THE FLOOR LIKE THIS.
308
00:12:26,488 --> 00:12:28,457
FINE.
309
00:12:30,325 --> 00:12:32,060
AAH!
310
00:12:40,502 --> 00:12:41,270
YOU'RE PRETTY GOOD!
311
00:12:41,336 --> 00:12:44,006
YOU SHOULD JOIN
MY WHEELCHAIR LEAGUE.
312
00:12:44,072 --> 00:12:46,942
HA HA! THANKS AGAIN, CLAY!
313
00:12:44,072 --> 00:12:46,942
OHH, MY NUTS!
314
00:12:47,009 --> 00:12:49,444
I FEEL SO MUCH MORE
INDEPENDENT WITHOUT THAT RAMP.
315
00:12:49,511 --> 00:12:51,813
THIS IS THE HAPPIEST WEEK
OF MY LIFE!
316
00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:53,916
ZIPPIDY DOO-DAH!
317
00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:56,118
SIAMESE TWINS, HUH?
318
00:12:56,185 --> 00:12:59,021
OH, SO THEY'RE JOINED
AT THE NECK?
319
00:12:59,087 --> 00:13:00,088
HMM, THAT'S A TOUGH ONE
320
00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:04,059
BECAUSE I'M NOT SURE IF
THE HEALING ROCK WOULD WORK.
321
00:13:04,126 --> 00:13:06,461
IT MIGHT MAKE ONE OF THEM
DISAPPEAR.
322
00:13:06,528 --> 00:13:09,865
WELL, DO YOU HAVE
A FAVORITE?
323
00:13:09,932 --> 00:13:11,466
JUST TO BE SAFE,
324
00:13:11,533 --> 00:13:14,203
YOU BETTER KEEP
THE ROCK AWAY FROM HER.
325
00:13:14,269 --> 00:13:16,405
ONLY $100 EACH.
326
00:13:16,471 --> 00:13:17,539
DARN IT.
327
00:13:17,606 --> 00:13:20,542
THAT ROCK WOULD'VE HELPED
ONE OF THOSE GIRLS OUT A LOT.
328
00:13:20,609 --> 00:13:21,610
OH, WELL...
329
00:13:24,012 --> 00:13:26,281
HELLO, ARE YOU CONSTANTLY
WISHING THAT ROCKS
330
00:13:26,348 --> 00:13:28,250
COULD HEAL YOU
INSTEAD OF DOCTORS?
331
00:13:28,317 --> 00:13:30,219
WHAT DOES JOHNNY KNOW
ABOUT SALES?
332
00:13:30,285 --> 00:13:32,521
HE COULDN'T SELL
BANANAS TO A MONKEY.
333
00:13:32,588 --> 00:13:33,989
MONKEYS HAVE MONEY?
334
00:13:34,056 --> 00:13:35,190
WHERE DO THEY KEEP IT?
335
00:13:35,257 --> 00:13:36,258
YOU'RE MISSIN' THE POINT.
336
00:13:36,325 --> 00:13:38,393
JOHNNY'S ON A HUGE
POWER TRIP.
337
00:13:38,460 --> 00:13:41,964
SOMEONE'S GOTTA KNOCK HIM OFF
HIS PEDESTAL.
338
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:42,798
HEY, GUYS!
339
00:13:42,864 --> 00:13:44,466
SETTLE DOWN.
WE'RE JUST TAKIN' A BREAK,
340
00:13:44,533 --> 00:13:48,870
BUT DON'T WORRY, WE'LL BE
HARD AT WORK SOON, BOSS.
341
00:13:48,937 --> 00:13:49,972
WELL, GUESS WHAT?
342
00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,506
I SOLD A ROCK!
343
00:13:51,573 --> 00:13:52,975
AND YOU CAME HERE
TO THROW IT
344
00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:54,910
IN YOUR OLD MAN'S FACE, HUH?
345
00:13:54,977 --> 00:13:57,512
NO, DAD, I DIDN'T--
346
00:13:58,580 --> 00:13:59,414
OMAR!
347
00:13:59,481 --> 00:14:02,584
YOU WANT SOME MORE,
YOU BIG-HEADED FREAK?!
348
00:14:02,651 --> 00:14:05,988
MR. JENKINS, NO!
I'M NOT JOHNNY! I'M OMAR!
349
00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:09,391
WELL, GET UP, OMAR.
FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED!
350
00:14:09,458 --> 00:14:11,159
STAY DOWN, OMAR!
351
00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:12,094
PUSSY.
352
00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:15,130
OMAR, DO YOU REALLY THINK
I HAVE A BIG HEAD?
353
00:14:15,197 --> 00:14:17,899
NO, JUST
A BULBOUS NOSE.
354
00:14:17,966 --> 00:14:19,534
OK, "TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN,
355
00:14:19,601 --> 00:14:23,438
"SOMETIMES LOVE HAS
STICKY CONSEQUENCES.
356
00:14:23,505 --> 00:14:27,175
"IF YOUR THING
STARTS TO SPROUT,
357
00:14:27,242 --> 00:14:29,278
"GET IT CHECKED OUT.
358
00:14:29,344 --> 00:14:33,081
LOVE AND KISSES,
SYLVIA JENKINS."
359
00:14:35,150 --> 00:14:36,918
THANKS, RUNNING TREE,
360
00:14:36,985 --> 00:14:39,087
AND THERE'S 2 MORE SACKS
ON THE WAY.
361
00:14:39,154 --> 00:14:42,190
AND I'M--I'M REALLY
SORRY, RUNNING TREE.
362
00:14:42,257 --> 00:14:46,194
WELL, AT LEAST I KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON NOW.
363
00:14:48,297 --> 00:14:49,464
WE'LL SMOKE HIM OUT.
364
00:14:49,531 --> 00:14:53,101
COME ON OUT NOW, HERB.
YOU LOSE.
365
00:14:54,102 --> 00:14:56,505
HE SHOULD HAVE
COME OUT BY NOW.
366
00:14:56,772 --> 00:14:58,140
YOU'RE RIGHT, ANGUS.
367
00:14:58,206 --> 00:14:59,641
IF WE KILL HIM, WE'RE NEVER
GETTIN' OUT OF JAIL.
368
00:14:59,708 --> 00:15:01,410
MR. STERLY!
369
00:15:03,612 --> 00:15:05,213
Herb: OH, MY GOD.
POISON GAS!
370
00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:07,115
[CLAY AND ANGUS COUGH]
371
00:15:07,182 --> 00:15:08,216
WHAT ARE YOU...
[COUGHS]
372
00:15:08,283 --> 00:15:09,084
DOIN' OUT HERE?
373
00:15:09,151 --> 00:15:11,687
MY HOUSE WAS TEEMING
WITH GIANT INSECTS.
374
00:15:11,753 --> 00:15:12,888
I WENT TO GET SOME
BUG SPRAY,
375
00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:15,557
BUT IT LOOKS LIKE YOU GUYS
DID A MUCH MORE THOROUGH JOB.
376
00:15:15,624 --> 00:15:17,259
THANK YOU.
377
00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:20,595
AAH!
378
00:15:25,167 --> 00:15:27,135
HA HA HA HA HA!
379
00:15:27,202 --> 00:15:28,103
HA HA HA HA HA!
380
00:15:28,170 --> 00:15:29,604
DAD, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
381
00:15:29,671 --> 00:15:32,341
HIS EYE IS TOTALLY CLOSED!
382
00:15:32,808 --> 00:15:33,709
I DON'T CARE
WHAT YOU DO.
383
00:15:33,775 --> 00:15:36,745
I'M GONNA GO SELL SOME
OF THESE HEALING ROCKS.
384
00:15:36,812 --> 00:15:37,612
THAT'S IT!
385
00:15:37,679 --> 00:15:40,215
LET'S USE ONE OF THE ROCKS
TO HEAL OMAR!
386
00:15:40,282 --> 00:15:41,216
TYPICAL.
387
00:15:41,283 --> 00:15:42,551
MY BOSS STEALS MY IDEA
388
00:15:42,617 --> 00:15:45,253
AND THEN HE ACTS LIKE
HE CAME UP WITH IT.
389
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:48,223
YOU'RE GONNA BE OK, OMAR.
390
00:15:48,290 --> 00:15:49,224
YAY!
391
00:15:49,291 --> 00:15:50,325
HERE WE GO, PETUNIA.
392
00:15:50,392 --> 00:15:53,495
OW! PLEASE,
NO MORE ROCK ON EYE!
393
00:15:53,562 --> 00:15:55,430
NO MORE ROCK ON EYE!
394
00:15:55,497 --> 00:15:56,765
WE'RE TRYIN'
TO HELP YOU.
395
00:15:56,832 --> 00:15:58,500
STOP YOUR
BELLYACHIN'!
396
00:15:58,567 --> 00:15:59,501
HANG IN THERE, OMAR.
397
00:15:59,568 --> 00:16:03,238
I'M SURE THE HEALING POWERS
OF THE HEALING ROCK
398
00:16:03,305 --> 00:16:05,273
WILL BE KICKING IN SHORTLY.
399
00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:08,043
BUT IT REALLY HURTS.
400
00:16:08,110 --> 00:16:09,111
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
401
00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:11,146
WE MUST NOT BE DOIN'
IT RIGHT.
402
00:16:11,213 --> 00:16:12,381
DOES THIS FEEL BETTER?
403
00:16:12,447 --> 00:16:14,683
AAH! AAH! AAH!
404
00:16:14,750 --> 00:16:17,519
DAD, MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP.
405
00:16:17,586 --> 00:16:20,155
[WHIMPERS]
406
00:16:20,222 --> 00:16:21,022
OHH. OH...
407
00:16:21,089 --> 00:16:23,058
"USE THE ROCK,
STOP USIN' THE ROCK,"
408
00:16:23,125 --> 00:16:26,061
I AM SO SICK OF YOU
BOSSIN' ME AROUND.
409
00:16:26,128 --> 00:16:27,462
OW!
410
00:16:28,363 --> 00:16:29,097
OH, MY GOD!
411
00:16:29,164 --> 00:16:31,266
THESE ROCKS CAUSE
NOTHING BUT PAIN.
412
00:16:31,333 --> 00:16:34,202
I DON'T THINK THESE ARE
HEALING ROCKS AT ALL.
413
00:16:34,269 --> 00:16:35,537
YOU'RE DARN TOOTIN'!
414
00:16:35,604 --> 00:16:38,140
SO CLAY HAD US
SELLING PHONY ROCKS
415
00:16:38,206 --> 00:16:39,474
FOR $100 APIECE?
416
00:16:39,541 --> 00:16:40,809
I KNEW THAT KID
HAD VISION.
417
00:16:40,876 --> 00:16:43,478
I CAN'T BELIEVE
CLAY WOULD DO THAT,
418
00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:45,580
BUT THE PROOF
IS IN THE PUDDING
419
00:16:45,647 --> 00:16:48,350
THAT IS NOW OMAR'S
BLUDGEONED FACE.
420
00:16:48,417 --> 00:16:50,085
I CAN'T BE A PART OF THIS,
421
00:16:50,152 --> 00:16:53,255
BUT I DON'T WANT
TO LET CLAY DOWN.
422
00:16:53,321 --> 00:16:55,123
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
423
00:16:55,190 --> 00:16:56,091
I KNOW!
424
00:16:56,158 --> 00:16:58,427
I'LL ASK MY MAGIC BEANS!
425
00:16:58,493 --> 00:16:59,327
FORGET YOUR BEANS!
426
00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:01,496
I'M IN CHARGE NOW
BECAUSE I'M THE BIGGEST.
427
00:17:01,563 --> 00:17:03,498
I DON'T CARE
IF IT'S A SCAM.
428
00:17:03,565 --> 00:17:04,599
WE'RE GONNA SELL
THESE ROCKS
429
00:17:04,666 --> 00:17:07,302
AND WE'RE GONNA MAKE
CLAY PROUD AND SUCK UP TO HIM
430
00:17:07,369 --> 00:17:08,570
'CAUSE HE'S RICH,
GODDAMN IT,
431
00:17:08,637 --> 00:17:11,706
AND THAT STILL MEANS
SOMETHING IN THIS COUNTRY!
432
00:17:11,773 --> 00:17:13,308
NOW, LET'S GO!
433
00:17:13,375 --> 00:17:14,776
YES, SIR!
434
00:17:16,178 --> 00:17:17,012
UH, YEAH.
435
00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:18,747
NOW, I NEED YOU TO TELL
ALL THE PASSENGERS
436
00:17:18,814 --> 00:17:19,614
OF FLIGHT 692--
437
00:17:19,681 --> 00:17:22,384
IT WAS GOING FROM DENVER
TO VEGAS. YEAH.
438
00:17:22,451 --> 00:17:24,586
THEY ALL NEED
TO BE NOTIFIED.
439
00:17:24,653 --> 00:17:26,087
H-HANG ON--
440
00:17:26,154 --> 00:17:27,722
[SWEET TONE]
OH, HELLO, REVEREND.
441
00:17:27,789 --> 00:17:29,424
YOU GOT MY MESSAGE?
YEAH.
442
00:17:29,491 --> 00:17:32,194
WELL, YOU SHOULD
CLEAN OUT THE CONFESSIONAL
443
00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:34,563
JUST TO BE SAFE.
[CHUCKLES]
444
00:17:34,629 --> 00:17:35,464
I GOTTA GO.
445
00:17:35,530 --> 00:17:36,465
HELLO?
446
00:17:36,531 --> 00:17:38,467
I WANT TO SEND
A TELEGRAM.
447
00:17:38,533 --> 00:17:41,369
DEAR ADMIRAL HAWK, STOP.
448
00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:43,605
I GAVE YOU VD, STOP.
449
00:17:43,672 --> 00:17:47,709
ENJOY THE NORTH
ATLANTIC, STOP.
450
00:17:49,277 --> 00:17:50,278
WELL, ANGUS,
451
00:17:50,345 --> 00:17:51,246
MAYBE IT'S TIME FOR US
TO ADMIT THAT WE'RE BEAT.
452
00:17:51,313 --> 00:17:53,815
THAT HERB STERLY
IS ONE TOUGH MOTHER.
453
00:17:51,313 --> 00:17:53,815
[GROWLS]
454
00:17:53,882 --> 00:17:56,651
I GUESS I'LL HAVE
TO GO TO JAIL.
455
00:17:56,718 --> 00:17:58,320
HUH?
456
00:17:59,688 --> 00:18:02,424
I'LL MISS YOU, TOO,
BUT WE'RE FUCKED.
457
00:18:02,491 --> 00:18:06,194
THAT HERB GUY
IS SLICKER THAN BOTH OF US.
458
00:18:06,261 --> 00:18:09,130
[SNARLING]
459
00:18:12,367 --> 00:18:13,902
OH, HELLO AGAIN,
LITTLE ANIMAL.
460
00:18:13,969 --> 00:18:16,638
WHAT GOOD TIDINGS
DO YOU BRING ME NOW?
461
00:18:16,705 --> 00:18:18,273
[SNARLS]
462
00:18:18,340 --> 00:18:19,474
OH, MY!
463
00:18:19,541 --> 00:18:20,675
LET'S NOT BE HASTY.
464
00:18:20,742 --> 00:18:21,843
I MAY HAVE
SOMETHING YOU WANT,
465
00:18:21,910 --> 00:18:26,248
OR SHOULD I SAY,
SOMETHING YOU NEED.
466
00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:27,282
THAT'S RIGHT, ANGUS.
467
00:18:27,349 --> 00:18:28,383
THESE ARE THE BEST DRUGS
IN THE WORLD
468
00:18:28,450 --> 00:18:31,286
AND I GET ALL THE GOOD SHIT
FROM GOVERNMENT BUSTS.
469
00:18:31,353 --> 00:18:34,222
[GROWLS, CHUCKLES]
470
00:18:34,289 --> 00:18:35,223
NOT SO FAST!
471
00:18:35,290 --> 00:18:36,758
YOU WANT SOME,
ALL YOU GOTTA DO
472
00:18:36,825 --> 00:18:40,195
IS PUT YOUR PAWPRINT
ON THIS DOCUMENT.
473
00:18:40,262 --> 00:18:41,696
COME ON,
SELL YOUR FRIEND OUT
474
00:18:41,763 --> 00:18:43,698
AND THESE DRUGS
ARE YOURS.
475
00:18:43,765 --> 00:18:45,800
OH, YOU'RE
PLAYING HARDBALL.
476
00:18:45,867 --> 00:18:47,836
MAYBE THIS WILL HELP
MAKE UP YOUR MIND.
477
00:18:47,903 --> 00:18:50,505
[GROWLS]
478
00:18:53,742 --> 00:18:54,676
[SNARLING]
479
00:18:54,743 --> 00:18:57,546
Man:
I'M GLAD I CAUGHT YOU,
FEDERAL AGENT ANGUS.
480
00:18:57,612 --> 00:18:58,880
THIS IS THE PRESIDENT.
481
00:18:58,947 --> 00:19:00,482
WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM
ON THE MOON
482
00:19:00,549 --> 00:19:02,717
AND YOU ARE THE ONLY
BACKSTABBING SNITCH
483
00:19:02,784 --> 00:19:03,952
WHO CAN HANDLE IT.
484
00:19:08,023 --> 00:19:11,459
YOU'RE THE REAL SUPERHERO,
FEDERAL AGENT ANGUS.
485
00:19:11,526 --> 00:19:14,429
I'M JUST AN IDIOT
WITH A CAPE.
486
00:19:16,565 --> 00:19:17,399
FEDERAL AGENT ANGUS,
487
00:19:17,465 --> 00:19:19,801
YOU SNITCHED ON FLUM,
OUR SUPREME LEADER.
488
00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:22,370
THE BEINGS OF SLURN
HAVE SENT ME TO DESTROY YOU
489
00:19:22,437 --> 00:19:24,639
AND THEN YOUR STUPID
PLANET EARTH.
490
00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:25,507
[SNARLING]
491
00:19:25,574 --> 00:19:27,842
IT DOES NOT MATTER
THAT FLUM WAS GUILTY--
492
00:19:27,909 --> 00:19:30,779
YOU STILL SOLD HIM OUT,
AND THAT'S NOT COOL.
493
00:19:30,845 --> 00:19:34,249
NOW I WILL CRUSH YOU
WITH THIS GIANT ROCK.
494
00:19:34,316 --> 00:19:37,218
AAAH!
MY ZURKZEES!
495
00:19:37,485 --> 00:19:40,655
FEDERAL AGENT ANGUS,
I'D ASK YOU TO SPARE MY LIFE,
496
00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:42,657
BUT EVERYONE KNOWS YOU
SENT YOUR BEST FRIEND
497
00:19:42,724 --> 00:19:44,426
CLAY ZEEMAN TO JAIL.
498
00:19:44,492 --> 00:19:48,463
WE'RE BARELY ACQUAINTANCES,
BUT YOU LOVED CLAY ZEEMAN.
499
00:19:48,530 --> 00:19:51,399
[CHOKED UP SNARLS]
500
00:20:00,008 --> 00:20:02,677
[SNARLING]
501
00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:08,750
SO, DO WE
HAVE A DEAL?
502
00:20:08,817 --> 00:20:11,286
[SNARLING]
503
00:20:19,828 --> 00:20:21,396
NICE.
504
00:20:21,463 --> 00:20:23,498
WATCH HOW
A PROFESSIONAL SALESMAN
505
00:20:23,565 --> 00:20:24,232
HANDLES A TOUGH SELL.
506
00:20:24,299 --> 00:20:26,468
THIS IS WORSE
THAN A TOUGH SELL,
507
00:20:26,534 --> 00:20:27,602
IT'S JUST WRONG!
508
00:20:27,669 --> 00:20:28,737
WE'RE LYING TO PEOPLE.
509
00:20:28,803 --> 00:20:30,905
THERE ARE 2 VERY
IMPORTANT LESSONS HERE.
510
00:20:30,972 --> 00:20:34,576
[CLEARS THROAT]
ONE, I'M THE FUCKING
BOSS NOW.
511
00:20:34,643 --> 00:20:36,911
AND TWO, IF YOU'RE
DOING A SCAM,
512
00:20:36,978 --> 00:20:38,880
IT'S NOT WRONG
IF YOU FIND SOMEONE
513
00:20:38,947 --> 00:20:40,448
WHO DESERVES
TO BE TAKEN.
514
00:20:40,515 --> 00:20:42,017
NOW, WATCH AND LEARN.
515
00:20:42,083 --> 00:20:43,885
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
516
00:20:43,952 --> 00:20:45,420
Y'ELLO?
517
00:20:45,487 --> 00:20:46,755
[DEEPENS VOICE]
AHEM, HELLO.
518
00:20:46,821 --> 00:20:48,390
MY NAME IS
BILL PETERSON.
519
00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:50,358
SHUT UP.
WHERE DID YOU SEE THE AD?
520
00:20:50,425 --> 00:20:54,596
WAS IT IN THE BILLBOARD,
THE RADIO ADS, OR WORD OF MOUTH?
521
00:20:54,663 --> 00:20:55,664
UM, UH...
522
00:20:55,730 --> 00:20:57,465
UH, IT DOESN'T MATTER.
523
00:20:57,532 --> 00:20:58,833
WELL, HERE GOES--
524
00:20:58,900 --> 00:21:02,470
YOU GOT VD, BUB.
FROM ME.
525
00:21:02,871 --> 00:21:05,073
ARE YOU THE GUY
FROM THE CAR WASH?
526
00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:06,675
WELL, YES, I WAS,
527
00:21:06,741 --> 00:21:07,876
AND I THINK
I COULD HELP YOU
528
00:21:07,942 --> 00:21:08,910
WITH YOUR LITTLE
PROBLEM.
529
00:21:08,977 --> 00:21:11,079
IT'S ALREADY
HELPING ME WITH MINE.
530
00:21:11,146 --> 00:21:12,043
YEAH, RIGHT.
531
00:21:11,146 --> 00:21:12,043
I WAS SKEPTICAL
532
00:21:12,043 --> 00:21:12,814
YEAH, RIGHT.
533
00:21:12,043 --> 00:21:12,814
I WAS SKEPTICAL
534
00:21:12,881 --> 00:21:14,416
JUST LIKE YOU,
UNTIL I BOUGHT
535
00:21:14,482 --> 00:21:16,551
SOME ANCIENT TIBETAN
HEALING ROCKS.
536
00:21:16,618 --> 00:21:18,486
THEY CLEANED ME
RIGHT UP.
537
00:21:18,553 --> 00:21:19,421
YOU DON'T SAY.
538
00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:20,855
YEAH.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU,
539
00:21:20,922 --> 00:21:23,591
BUT I WORRY ABOUT
ALL THE MILLIONS OF DISEASES
540
00:21:23,658 --> 00:21:26,327
THAT ARE OUT THERE
JUST WAITING TO ATTACK ME,
541
00:21:26,394 --> 00:21:27,929
ESPECIALLY
THE OLDER I GET.
542
00:21:27,996 --> 00:21:32,434
I KNOW! AND THEY COME UP
WITH NEW DISEASES EVERY DAY!
543
00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:34,002
EVERY DAY.
544
00:21:34,069 --> 00:21:34,903
I WAS REAL WORRIED,
545
00:21:34,969 --> 00:21:37,706
BUT MY HEALING ROCKS
REALLY DID THE TRICK.
546
00:21:37,772 --> 00:21:38,540
I'M DISEASE-FREE!
547
00:21:38,606 --> 00:21:40,809
I HAVE TO GET MY HANDS
ON THOSE ROCKS!
548
00:21:40,875 --> 00:21:43,645
AND YOU CAN, FOR THE
BARGAIN-BASEMENT PRICE
549
00:21:43,712 --> 00:21:44,579
OF $100 A ROCK.
550
00:21:44,646 --> 00:21:47,082
WELL, YOU CAN'T PUT A PRICE
ON YOUR HEALTH!
551
00:21:47,148 --> 00:21:48,950
I'LL TAKE 'EM!
552
00:21:49,684 --> 00:21:50,285
THANK YOU, MAMA--
553
00:21:50,351 --> 00:21:52,887
OOPS! I MEAN,
MRS. JENKINS.
554
00:21:52,954 --> 00:21:54,856
[GRUNTING]
555
00:21:56,124 --> 00:21:57,525
HEY, KNOCK IT OFF,
YOU TWO.
556
00:21:57,592 --> 00:22:01,396
HERB, LOOK WHAT'S
COMING TO VIDEO THIS CHRISTMAS.
557
00:22:01,463 --> 00:22:04,065
AND I GET ALL THE GOOD SHIT
FROM GOVERNMENT BUSTS.
558
00:22:04,132 --> 00:22:06,601
AND I GET ALL THE GOOD SHIT
FROM GOVERNMENT BUSTS.
559
00:22:06,668 --> 00:22:09,871
AND I GET ALL THE GOOD SHIT
FROM GOVERNMENT BUSTS.
560
00:22:09,938 --> 00:22:12,874
EAT BOUGHS OF HOLLY,
YOU BASTARDS!
561
00:22:13,641 --> 00:22:14,576
NICE.
562
00:22:14,642 --> 00:22:16,444
HERE'S TO
A CRACK SALESMAN
563
00:22:16,511 --> 00:22:18,646
AND HIS UNDERLINGS.
564
00:22:18,980 --> 00:22:20,782
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
STANDING AROUND FOR?
565
00:22:20,849 --> 00:22:22,884
THESE ROCKS AREN'T GONNA
DELIVER THEMSELVES.
566
00:22:22,951 --> 00:22:26,788
NOW LOAD 'EM UP
WHILE I DO SOME PAPERWORK.
567
00:22:28,223 --> 00:22:30,158
I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT THIS, OMAR.
568
00:22:30,225 --> 00:22:31,926
THIS SEEMS REALLY DISHONEST.
569
00:22:31,993 --> 00:22:34,462
THE BAG IS WORTH MORE
THAN THE ROCKS.
570
00:22:34,529 --> 00:22:36,898
JOHNNY, DIDN'T YOU LEARN
ANYTHING TODAY?
571
00:22:36,965 --> 00:22:38,767
YOUR DAD
IS THE BOSS.
572
00:22:38,833 --> 00:22:40,735
SO YOU'RE OK
WITH ALL THIS?
573
00:22:40,802 --> 00:22:41,836
SURE! WITH THESE ROCKS
574
00:22:41,903 --> 00:22:43,404
YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S
NOT GONNA WORRY
575
00:22:43,471 --> 00:22:44,906
ABOUT BEING SICK
ALL THE TIME.
576
00:22:44,973 --> 00:22:47,809
ALL HYPOCHONDRIACS
COULD USE A ROCK LIKE THIS.
577
00:22:47,876 --> 00:22:49,844
AND DIDN'T CLAY SAY
578
00:22:49,911 --> 00:22:52,147
YOU CAN'T PUT A PRICE
ON PEACE OF MIND?
579
00:22:52,213 --> 00:22:53,948
Both: 'CAUSE IT'S INVISIBLE!
580
00:22:54,015 --> 00:22:55,984
I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT
THAT WAY, OMAR.
581
00:22:56,050 --> 00:23:00,588
I GUESS MY DAD'S HEART
REALLY IS IN THE RIGHT PLACE.
582
00:23:01,222 --> 00:23:02,023
OWW!
583
00:23:01,222 --> 00:23:02,023
OWW!
584
00:23:02,090 --> 00:23:04,526
YOU GUYS TRYING TO STEAL
MY MAGIC ROCKS?
585
00:23:04,592 --> 00:23:05,693
HELLO,
586
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,029
IS THIS THE COUNTRY
OF CHINA? UH-HUH.
587
00:23:08,096 --> 00:23:09,898
WELL, I HAVE SOME
BAD NEWS.
588
00:23:09,964 --> 00:23:12,100
HANG ON,
I HAVE ANOTHER CALL.
589
00:23:12,167 --> 00:23:13,735
UH, YES, DOCTOR?
590
00:23:13,802 --> 00:23:17,438
WHAT? WRONG SCHMEAR?
591
00:23:17,505 --> 00:23:19,641
WAIT A MINUTE,
SO YOU'RE TELLING ME
592
00:23:19,707 --> 00:23:21,509
I'M--I'M TOTALLY CLEAN?
593
00:23:21,576 --> 00:23:24,112
[GASPS]
OH, WHAT A RELIEF.
594
00:23:24,179 --> 00:23:25,680
GOD, YOU'RE
A SHITTY DOCTOR,
595
00:23:25,747 --> 00:23:28,783
AND I'M GLAD I SCHTUPPED
YOUR HUSBAND.
596
00:23:30,919 --> 00:23:32,453
YAHOO!
597
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,889
[SIGHS]
THANK GOD I'M OK.
598
00:23:34,956 --> 00:23:37,091
OH, IT'S BEEN
A STRESSFUL DAY.
599
00:23:37,158 --> 00:23:39,661
I COULD REALLY USE
A GOOD POUNDING.
600
00:23:39,727 --> 00:23:40,962
Johnny: HI, GRANDMA.
WE'RE HOME!
601
00:23:41,029 --> 00:23:44,632
YEAH, WE RAN INTO A DELIVERY
MONK ON THE FRONT LAWN
602
00:23:44,699 --> 00:23:46,634
WITH THIS SPECIAL DELIVERY
FOR YOU.
603
00:23:46,701 --> 00:23:50,038
MAMA, DID YOU
BUY SOMETHING TODAY?
604
00:23:50,104 --> 00:23:52,841
YEAH, THIS, UH,
SHADY CAR WASH GUY
605
00:23:52,907 --> 00:23:56,244
WANTED TO SELL ME SOME HEALING
ROCKS OVER THE PHONE,
606
00:23:56,311 --> 00:23:58,580
SO I GAVE HIM YOUR
CREDIT CARD NUMBER.
607
00:23:58,646 --> 00:24:00,014
WHY'D YOU USE
MY CREDIT CARD?
608
00:24:00,081 --> 00:24:02,851
I'M NOT GIVING OUT
MY FINANCIAL INFORMATION
609
00:24:02,917 --> 00:24:05,987
TO SOME JACKASS
I HAD SEX WITH ONCE
610
00:24:06,054 --> 00:24:07,021
AND I DON'T EVEN
REMEMBER.
611
00:24:07,088 --> 00:24:09,090
WHERE DO YOU WANT
YOUR ROCKS, BOSS?
612
00:24:09,157 --> 00:24:10,692
SHOVE 'EM UP YOUR ASS.
613
00:24:10,758 --> 00:24:11,960
I'M NOT
DOING THAT.
614
00:24:12,026 --> 00:24:14,495
LET'S GO PUT THEM OUT FRONT
WITH THE OTHER ROCKS.
615
00:24:14,562 --> 00:24:16,531
THEY'D LOOK PRETTY
AROUND THE TREE.
616
00:24:16,598 --> 00:24:18,533
THEY SURE WOULD,
JOHNNY.
617
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:21,035
THEY SURE WOULD.
618
00:24:21,102 --> 00:24:23,638
WELL, ANGUS,
WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED TODAY?
619
00:24:23,705 --> 00:24:24,772
FOR ONE THING,
620
00:24:24,839 --> 00:24:26,274
WE LEARNED THAT A GUY
IN A WHEELCHAIR
621
00:24:26,341 --> 00:24:29,677
CAN BE AS BIG A PRICK
AS ANYBODY ELSE.
622
00:24:29,744 --> 00:24:30,478
ANOTHER VALUABLE LESSON
623
00:24:30,545 --> 00:24:32,080
WE CAN TAKE AWAY
FROM THIS EXPERIENCE
624
00:24:32,146 --> 00:24:34,082
IS THAT BEING DECKED
WITH BOUGHS OF HOLLY
625
00:24:34,148 --> 00:24:36,551
ISN'T AS FESTIVE
AS IT SOUNDS.
626
00:24:36,618 --> 00:24:37,886
UH-HUH.
627
00:24:37,952 --> 00:24:39,520
[GARBLES]
628
00:24:39,587 --> 00:24:42,156
AND LASTLY, AND MAYBE
MOST IMPORTANTLY,
629
00:24:42,223 --> 00:24:44,292
SOMETIMES YOU'VE GOT
TO GET OFF THE COUCH
630
00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:46,294
SO YOU CAN STAY
ON THE COUCH.
631
00:24:46,361 --> 00:24:48,162
THAT'S PRETTY
FUCKING DEEP.
632
00:24:48,229 --> 00:24:49,130
HMM...
633
00:24:49,197 --> 00:24:49,964
THANK GOD
I'M RICH AGAIN.
634
00:24:50,031 --> 00:24:51,599
LET'S GO GET SOME
HOOKERS AND COCAINE.
635
00:24:51,666 --> 00:24:55,770
I PUT A MAGIC BEAN UNDER
EACH ROCK FOR GOOD LUCK.
636
00:24:55,837 --> 00:24:57,171
WHAT DO YOU THINK
WILL HAPPEN?
637
00:24:57,238 --> 00:24:58,306
IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN,
638
00:24:58,373 --> 00:25:02,010
I THINK LITTLE FAIRIES
WILL HATCH OUT OF EVERY BEAN.
639
00:25:02,076 --> 00:25:04,879
DON'T QUOTE ME ON THAT,
BUT I'M PRETTY SURE.
640
00:25:04,946 --> 00:25:08,583
HEY, ONE OF THOSE ROCKS
IS MOVING!
641
00:25:09,284 --> 00:25:12,253
IT'S THE FAIRY!
642
00:25:13,988 --> 00:25:16,190
AAAH! AAAAH!
643
00:25:16,257 --> 00:25:17,191
OH, MY GOSH.
644
00:25:17,258 --> 00:25:19,060
I FORGOT THAT
I SOLD THAT ROCK
645
00:25:19,127 --> 00:25:23,331
AND MAILED IT TO SOME
POOR UNFORTUNATE SOUL.
646
00:25:26,267 --> 00:25:29,337
YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLE,
GLUGGIE.
647
00:25:29,404 --> 00:25:33,207
NO ONE HITS MY SPOTS
LIKE YOU DO. MMM.
648
00:25:33,274 --> 00:25:35,643
[SLURPING AND SLOBBERING]
649
00:25:35,710 --> 00:25:39,047
Man: DELIVERY
FOR MR. GLUG GLUG.
650
00:25:39,514 --> 00:25:41,916
[HORRIFIC SCREAM]
651
00:25:41,983 --> 00:25:44,752
[GLUG GLUG GROWLING]
652
00:25:44,819 --> 00:25:48,990
IT'S ONE OF THOSE
TIBETAN HEALING ROCKS.
653
00:25:49,057 --> 00:25:51,025
[GROWLING AND SLURPING]
654
00:25:51,092 --> 00:25:53,294
[BRITISH ACCENT]
WHY, YES, SYLVIA,
I BELIEVE IT IS.
655
00:25:53,361 --> 00:25:56,030
NOW, HOW ABOUT ANOTHER GAME
OF HIDE AND SEEK
656
00:25:56,097 --> 00:25:58,900
WITH THE BALD
ARCHBISHOP?