WOMAN: Hi, Mr. Poole, my name is Julie,
and I'm calling on behalf...
Hi, this is Allison, and I'd like to tell you
about a special new program...
Hello?
Hi, Petty Officer Lambert.
Yeah? Hi, my name is Roland Kesta.
I'm calling on behalf of Thrifty Phone Services.
I've thought it over
and I don't think I want
to change my phone service.
That's what most people say until they hear
how much we can save them on long-distance calls.
I don't make long-distance phone calls, okay?
( glass breaks )
Did you hear that?
What?
Sounded like glass breaking in the kitchen.
No.
Our long-distance service is exactly the same as AT&T,
Sprint, SBC, except we can save you...
Who the hell are you?
The man who's going to save you 40%
on your long-distance calls, sir.
Get the hell out of my house!
( grunting, loud crashing )
Move it along.
What's taking...?
Um, there's no contract to sign...
( man screaming, crashing, clattering )
Uh, Petty Officer Lambert?
Captioning sponsored by PARAMOUNT TELEVISION
and CBS
Last time I'm going to tell you, Tony.
Don't answer my phone,
use my computer, read my mail,
look through my purse,
scan my PDA or touch my cell phone ever.
And an extra side of hash browns.
Just so we're clear, Kate,
I didn't do any of those things. Zero. Zip. Nada.
Then how did you know
where I went to breakfast?
Logo on the coffee cup in your wastebasket.
Anyone invite you into this conversation, probie?
You looked through my trash?
Did you say it was off limits? Huh?
Did ya?
Why do you do these things?
Sharpening my investigative skills.
Grab your gear. What's up?
A dead sailor.
We didn't get any calls.
Saw it on the news, huh, boss?
Hey, DiNozzo, for once, you're right.
Come on. Let's go.
Who's in charge here?
Lieutenant Cheney, sir.
We'll finish this in ten.
Lieutenant Cheney?
Special Agent Gibbs, NCIS.
CHENEY: You must be psychic, Gibbs.
I just put in a call to NCIS.
Not psychic. Just watch the news.
They monitor our radio calls.
Chief says cooperate with the news media.
Budget hearings time.
You got it.
What do we have here?
Not sure yet.
News said a sailor was murdered.
Maybe-- kitchen door's broken in,
and judging from the blood, it could be murder.
No body.
( both slurping )
Miller. Yeah, boss.
Right away, boss.
CHENEY: We got a 911 from a telemarketer.
Said he was talking with a Petty Officer Dion Lambert
when he heard a struggle and the line went dead.
Call was traced here.
Lieutenant, your ex-wife just called.
Which one?
The nasty one.
You're going to have to be more specific.
This is too weird.
Definitely.
Good weird.
You want me to call her back?
No. Next time one of my exes calls,
get her name.
Lieutenant.
( both slurping )
CHENEY/GIBBS: Ah...
CHENEY: Unless you object, this is yours.
No objections.
Let's go, Rachael.
Hey, Rachael, I'm Tony.
If you want to get together and compare notes.
What's your shoe size?
Twelve.
( chuckles )
You wish.
No, it is.
It really is.
You can measure it if you want.
GIBBS: DiNozzo.
Yeah, boss? Trace evidence,
bag and tag. Kate, sketch and shoot.
McGee, laptop and answering machine.
Right. ( laughs )
That was really odd.
Hmm. What?
Well, you know, I mean, how you and him and...
Never mind.
Tony, have you seen my sketch pad?
Yeah, it's in the truck under my seat.
Under your seat? How did it...?
Like those pants.
MAN: Yeah, well, that sounds good.
If you can just take care of that for me.
( thud, both grunt )
Oh...
Sorry. Wow!
You know, your eyes
are the same color as my Porsche.
( chuckles )
You've gotta be kidding.
( both laugh )
What do you say we have dinner?
Why bother with preliminaries?
Ah, now who's kidding?
You serious?
She's not, but I am.
CHENEY: Come on, Monteleone.
( laughs )
RACHAEL: Shotgun.
Get in the car, probie.
It's deja vu.
TELEMARKETER ( on tape ): There's no contract to sign.
( man screaming, loud crashing )
TELEMARKETER: Uh, Petty Officer Lambert?
( man retching, gagging )
How many calls a day do you make?
Somewhere between 300 and 400.
You ever feel guilty calling people uninvited,
intruding into their lives?
At first, a little.
When you get cursed at
a couple hundred times, you get over it.
Why'd you keep selling when you knew something was very wrong?
My boss doesn't want us to stop selling for any reason.
He's got the compassion of a cluster bomb.
How did you get Petty Officer Lambert's number?
From a list broker.
How'd it get on the list?
I don't know.
A magazine subscription, a warranty card,
supermarket charge.
Supermarket charge?
Why do you think
they give you those little key tags
they scan when you check out?
For discounts.
It's to collect information
they sell to telemarketers.
What brands you buy, how much, how often...
( incredulous laugh )
Isn't that against the law?!
Anytime you write
your name down,
it's going in somebody's database
and then being sold to somebody else.
Wow.
Okay, well, I'm going to
need your work, cell and home numbers.
All right.
But please don't call between 6:00 and 8:00,
because that's usually...
You said 6:00 and 8:00, right?
Tell Abby I want a full acoustical analysis.
Uh... uh, boss, you-you know that
she's working Petty Officer Lambert's hard drive,
answering machine and all the crime scene evidence.
Then help her, McGee.
Yes, boss.
You really think it's a good idea
for probie to be alone with...
I was going through Lambert's papers.
Something you're very good at.
There's a second name on the lease:
George Mansur.
There's no sign of a roommate in that house, Tony.
Well, roommates move out, Kate.
16 months ago, you had a roommate...
Tony.
Kate, you're with me.
Gladly.
Tony, find Mansur.
On it, boss.
ABBY: The only blood type at the scene was O-positive.
Petty Officer Lambert's O-positive.
It's the most common blood type there is.
I shipped a DNA sample to the Armed Forces Registry.
Fingerprints we lifted his?
Your missing corpse is Petty Officer Lambert.
Unidentified prints.
I have not had time to run all the prints
that you lifted yet.
Blood-spatter analysis.
Okay, Gibbs, I know you think I'm Supergirl...
Actually,
my hair's more like Wonder Woman.
Or Isis.
Or the Powerpuff girl.
I've always been partial to Xena.
I don't know about her.
No self-respecting superhero
should wear open-toed shoes.
Oh, I agree.
McGEE: He erased his hard drive.
No problem.
He used a DOD-certified wipe program.
Uh-oh.
"Uh-oh" doesn't sound good.
It's not.
A DOD wipe not only deletes,
but it overwrites seven times.
There's no way to recapture the information, boss.
Why would he use something like that on his home computer?
He's an information systems tech,
and it could just be a matter of course, or he could be...
Hiding something.
He wipe his answering machine?
No. There were two calls.
One yesterday, from Blockbuster Video--
late returning Happy Gilmore--
and one two days ago from Thrifty Phone Services.
All right, let's hear it.
You!
Blood spatters!
ABBY: * Yo-ho, heave ho...
Petty Officer Lambert, my name is Dennis Brough.
I'm calling on behalf of Thrifty Phone Services.
How would you like to cut... ( beep )
That's it?
He must've picked up.
They called him two days ago, why call him back?
Dennis Brough, Kate.
Got it.
Acoustics analysis.
Yes. On that next, boss.
( computer beeps )
( computers blipping )
( rapid blipping )
( three blips )
Who was that that said, "Always expect the unexpected"?
Me.
Well, you're right again.
Boss, you sure are.
McGee, you're about to interrupt unbelievable news.
Abby, trust me,
my news is much more unbelievable.
Gibbs, you're never going to believe what I found.
Kate, hold on one second.
( all talking at once )
McGEE: Hold on, okay?
This is really important!
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
McGEE: You just walked in and...
( whistles ) Hey!
Abby.
Okay, this is the blood trail
found on Petty Officer Lambert's kitchen floor.
Notice anything hinky?
Yeah, they're passive drops.
Exactly.
Created by the force of gravity acting alone.
In blood trails, the shape of drops
are affected by gravity and movement.
The tail always points in the direction of travel.
There was no movement when the blood dropped.
Nope. Somebody stood there, dropped some blood,
took a step, dropped some blood...
McGee!
The acoustical analysis of the phone call
indicates that the fight sounds were unidirectional.
I overlaid Kate's sketch of the crime scene
and found the source
to be Petty Officer Lambert's computer.
They were sound effects, boss.
Okay.
Kate.
I spoke to Dennis Brough
from the Thrifty Phone Service.
He's home with the flu.
The supervisor gave Dennis his lead to Roland Kesta.
Petty Officer Lambert asked that telemarketer
to call him back.
Between 8:00 and 12:00 last night.
Our petty officer faked his own murder.
We have one advantage over Petty Officer Lambert:
he doesn't know we know he's still alive.
I'll flag his accounts:
bank, credit, ATM, E-mail.
Kate, this mojo faked his own death.
Left his laptop, wallet, cell phone and car behind.
Do you really think he's going to swipe
the old charge card at the local Drugs R' Us?
Tony's right.
Thanks, boss.
( no audio )
GIBBS: You check it anyway, Kate. You never know.
If Tony ever does find his ex-roomie,
check his accounts, too.
I'm zoning in on him.
Yeah? You locate him?
Not yet, but... got his driver's license.
Federal tax return, too.
He's a freelance computer geek.
Made six figures last year.
Wishing you were a computer geek, Tony?
I'd rather be homeless than be you, probie.
It's an old address; same as Petty Officer Lambert's.
He's depreciating a '93 Hyundai on his return.
How can you depreciate a car that old?
More important question:
Why would a guy pulling down six figures a year
drive a car that old?
Only one way to find out.
Find him and ask him. Which I am trying...
...going to do.
McGee, you're with me.
Where we going, boss?
Talk to Petty Officer Lambert's shipmates.
But he's not on a ship, boss.
Oh, sir, you were using a military euphemism.
You think?
So, uh,
you mean Bethesda Hospital Computer Center.
You speak their language.
You mean, I'm going to interview them?
I interview. You translate.
Come on.
WOMAN ( over P.A. ): Lieutenant Barclay to Admin 24.
Lieutenant Barclay to Admin 24.
MAN: Lambert's UA for one day,
NCIS is investigating?
You have a problem with that, Petty Officer Wilson?
No, sir.
What was Petty Officer Lambert's job?
He was developing a new code base
for enterprise resource and planning.
The new application will be able to support
medical multi-processing and scalable architecture
up to eight terabytes of data.
Wow.
Whew.
He was writing a new computer program
as part of an overhaul and update
to the Naval Medical Computer System.
Hmm. Anything sensitive?
A person's health information is very sensitive, sir.
National security sensitive, Petty Officer.
We have a circuit-based gateway, sir,
which applies a security mechanism
anytime there's a USD-TCP connection established.
Once that connection's made,
packets can travel between hosts
without further checking.
No.
Petty Officer Lambert's fitreps
were above standard, sir.
He was just a regular guy.
Our definition of "regular" might be different.
One man's Linux is another's OS/2.
( laughs )
I hear that.
Right.
Sorry.
Any recent changes in his behavior or attitude?
No, sir.
Take that back.
A few days ago, he seemed jumpy.
I tapped him on the shoulder
to talk about the performance degradation
in the application gateway,
and he about came out of his chair.
He was... nervous.
Yeah, I got that, McGee.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm going to need,
I'm going to need copies of all his stuff.
Uh, access to the source codes,
flow charts, and the logical processes
involved in the application.
Not a problem, sir.
Special Agent Gibbs.
Karen Wilkerson,
Petty Officer Wilson's supervisor.
You're late.
We're making a software changeover. It's been crazy.
Mm.
Get copies of what we need here, McGee.
Right, boss.
Tell me about Petty Officer Lambert.
Not a lot to tell.
Good guy.
Hard worker.
First one in in the mornings,
usually the last to leave.
Volunteered to work weekends.
You work weekends?
Not if I can help it.
Why is NCIS investigating a sailor
who's missed one day of work?
He's UA, Miss Wilkerson.
It's not as if he's missed a deployment.
Petty Officer Wilson says he seemed jumpy lately.
Well, he'd be in a better position to know that than me.
Petty Officer Lambert and I didn't have much day-to-day contact.
You, uh, work weekends,
Special Agent Gibbs?
If I need to.
Why do I feel you need to a lot?
( laughs )
Anything else?
I have to get back to work.
Not at the moment.
Well, if there is,
I'll make myself available.
Even on the weekend.
Oh, might even be on time.
( chuckles )
Wow.
KATE: Enough, Tony.
I have nothing to hide.
Really? Hmm.
For someone with nothing to hide,
you seem awfully concerned
about what other people know about you.
Why, because I get upset
when you go through my personal belongings?
Exactly.
Well, Tony,
some people enjoy having a private life.
Unlike you, we don't go around informing everyone
about the frequency of our hooking up.
In a slump?
( weary sigh )
Gibbs-- Mansur withdrew $6,000
from his bank account
the week before he moved out.
He's also moved three times in the last six years.
This last time he didn't file a change of address
at the post office. Thank you.
Whatever the hell this is, they're in it together.
Yeah, but what is... "whatever the hell this is"?
Find Mansur...
Yes. And we'll find out.
I know, boss. I'm trying.
Try harder.
Right.
You know, Gibbs, maybe Lambert
faked his own death to get out the Navy.
You know, wanted to make a few bucks, like his roomie.
Not likely.
His enlistment was up in five months.
McGee! Yeah, boss.
Check with Abby. Find out how she's doing
with that stuff you brought in.
Right.
( yawns )
That should help keep you awake.
Thanks.
I have looked at 100,000 lines of code.
Is it possible to die of boredom?
No.
How can you be sure?
Well, because I had Professor Bernbaum for economics.
Believe me,
his class makes staring at a monitor
seem like Mardi Gras.
I don't know.
This really sucks.
I'll tell you what sucks.
Working after school as a burnt-potato-chip picker.
You're making that up.
You ever seen a burnt potato chip
in a bag of potato chips?
Hmm. Now that you mention it.
Sat next to a conveyer belt, air choked with oil,
watching cooked potato chips fly by.
I would pick out the burnt ones
while trying not to get motion sickness.
Incinerator operator.
Burning medical waste at 2,000 degrees.
Body parts, body waste.
Summer between freshman and sophomore year,
I was a Porta Potti cleaner.
It was the hottest summer on record.
Ski-lift operator-- Alberta.
Negative 44 degrees Fahrenheit.
Cleaned asbestos.
Collected roadkill.
Tie?
No? Okay.
( computer beeping ) Before I joined NCIS...
Is that what I think it is?
Depends. What do you think it is?
The reason Petty Officer Lambert faked his own murder.
Petty Officer Lambert was part of the team
that was updating the Navy's medical computer system.
He'd been working on it almost two years.
Did you tell him?
No. Saved the best for you.
Oh, thanks, McGee.
You know how I relish the moments...
Stop relishing and start explaining, Abby.
Okay. Geez, Gibbs.
Five months ago, Petty Officer Lambert
buried a simple command in the program
to send him drugs.
Lots of drugs.
McGee! Sorry.
For every 337 prescriptions,
one was written for him.
It's ingenious in its simplicity.
What kind of drugs?
Painkillers:
Percocet, Vicodin, Oxycontin.
Oxycontin is twice as addictive as heroin.
It's more addictive than pistachios.
Well, have you ever eaten just one pistachio?
Actually, I have.
Uh, potato chips, on the other hand...
Uh, uh, the Navy writes a lot of prescriptions,
so the amount that he was getting,
it's no way it was for personal use.
In the last five months, 18,000 Oxycontin,
12,000 Percocet, 9,000 Vicodin.
Legal price for an 80-milligram Oxycontin:
six dollars.
Street price is $65 to $80.
On the Oxycontin alone, he made a million bucks.
Cash.
Petty Officer Lambert is long gone.
I would be.
Three lines of computer code buried among millions.
I'm amazed you found it.
I didn't, really. It was Abby Sciuto.
She's a whiz at codes.
You never suspected Petty Officer Lambert
of abusing his access to the Navy drug system?
Not until you showed up.
When NCIS investigates
a sailor who's been UA one day, there's something wrong.
After you left, I had Petty Officer Wilson
run a check on Lambert's computer.
I never caught this.
Sciuto must be hot!
What made you suspicious, Agent Gibbs?
A murder that didn't happen.
Your Petty Officer faked his own death.
He wanted us looking for his body instead of him.
We'd have done it, too, if Abby hadn't found the hinky blood trail.
( laughs )
I gotta meet this woman.
You know what, she's probably not your type--
tats, piercings, dark makeup...
Goth?
Yeah.
I love Goth.
GIBBS: Thieves are just like gamblers.
They never quit when they're ahead.
Why would Petty Officer Lambert?
In five days, the new software system goes online.
He must've been afraid it would pick up his scam.
WILSON: Got it.
He had this prescription sent to Box 781,
Mail Boxes Etc, Fourteenth Street.
McGee, you two keep pulling Lambert's scrips.
See if there are any in the pipeline. Happy to, boss.
Lieutenant Cheney. Special Agent Gibbs.
WOMAN: One moment.
So tell me more about this Abby.
You know what? I can't work and talk... okay?
Think you'll find him?
Usually do.
Hello.
Hey, Cheney. It's Gibbs.
What do you got?
Our missing Petty Officer siphoned
thousands of opiates from the Navy drug program.
Ring any bells?
Oh, yeah.
Where and when?
My office. One hour.
You got it.
You like boats?
Sail or power?
Sail.
I love to sail.
This weekend?
Um... I'm...
I'm still building her.
Which marina?
My basement.
( laughing ): Of course.
Saturday?
If I can find Lambert by then.
Well... what are you doing standing here, Agent Gibbs?
Jethro.
Jethro?!
McGEE: Two black coffees.
And two grande triple-pump
half-caf vanilla lattes.
Cheers. Thanks.
Mine's the one with the extra foam.
McGEE: Ah! Ah! Sorry.
So, Gibbs, I've had my eye on this one guy--
he's a lobbyist-- went from dealing
to a few friends to supplying the beltway
with illegal painkillers.
Well, syncs up.
Miller.
Yeah, boss.
Just a second.
You know what? Here, let me....
Ooh! Ooh!
My fault.
No, it was mine.
No, I should've been more careful.
No, not a problem. Not a problem.
McGee! Miller!
BOTH: Sorry, boss.
Aaron Alan Wright.
Ever busted?
Once.
Dealing to his frat brothers at Syracuse.
Got probation.
Why haven't you busted him?
I want the other end of his pipeline.
I bust him, his supplier just finds another dealer.
He's soft.
Mind bringing him in here for a chat?
Oh, yeah.
Have Monteleone and Rand pick up Wright.
Deliver him here.
Sure, boss.
Is that the 7220?
That's the 7230.
Sweet.
Yeah.
GIBBS: Petty Officer Dion Lambert.
Sorry. Never heard of him.
A Navy computer geek.
Steals painkillers from the government.
What does a swabbie stealing painkillers have to do with me?
He sells them to you,
you sell them to your beltway clients.
This really is a waste of time.
( over speaker ): I've advised my client
not to answer your questions, and he won't.
That is beautiful.
Franck Muller Conquistadore.
MONTELEONE: $7,800 retail.
Yeah; you know that guy paid retail.
Look at him.
We've known you've been dealing for months.
WRIGHT: Really.
Then, uh, why'd it take you
this long to call me in?
The lieutenant wanted your source.
And I just gave it to him.
And that's the Petty Officer? What was his name again?
Dion Lambert.
( annoyed sigh )
I'm scanning...
No. No hits.
This isn't a frat bust for grass, Aaron.
This is hard time.
Every night...
hard time.
CHENEY: Tell us where Petty Officer Lambert's hiding.
We'll cut you a deal.
Minimum time in a Federal facility
without nightly cavity searches.
Aaron, if they had evidence of you doing something illegal--
which I know you didn't-- they wouldn't be talking deals.
I have to listen to my lawyer.
He's very expensive.
When I find Petty Officer Lambert...
And he will.
...he'll roll on you for a deal.
Really? Yeah.
You want to know why?
( half-whispers ): 'Cause he's soft.
Just like you.
What is this?
"Bad Cop, Bad Cop"?
Gibbs, we miscalculated.
You think?
Our friend here's looking forward
to playing strip poker in Marion-- without cards.
GIBBS: Yeah? Is that true...
Air-ron?
Charge my client or we're walking out.
Now.
Bastards.
GIBBS: Aaron?
You won't last 48 hours at Marion.
Oh, I figure 24.
Five bucks.
That's a bet.
( chuckling )
What are you laughing at, DiNozzo?
And you, Monteleone?
We didn't break him!
Made him piss his pants, though.
( chuckles ): Hell, yes.
I'd wait until we get outside.
Aaron...
( rolling the "r" ): Rachael...
Hey, how would you like to discuss
that interrogation over some...
Chinese food? I don't think so.
Yeah, how'd you know I was going to...? Kate said you would.
Well, you see, Kate's just a little... Jealous?
Did she tell you I was going to say that, too?
I'll give you one thing.
You're almost as good-looking as...
you think you are.
Gibbs! George Mansur-- Lambert's ex-roommate--
he's online!
Where? I back-traced his I.P. address
to the Key Bridge Cybercafe in Georgetown.
Tony, McGee, you're with me. Kate, phones.
Abby, keep tabs on Mansur's computer.
But...
( sighs )
Boys night out!
Which means girls night in!
Transfer your phones to my lab.
Look, this is illegal! Your guy is on my computer!
TONY: It's not your computer. It's the cybercafe's.
Yeah, well, I'm logged in on it!
He can see all of my trades.
That's an invasion of my privacy!
Actually, he's right, boss.
Uh-huh.
Then... you'll let me go?
No.
( screaming ): Hel...!
Don't... shout.
Federal Agents.
All's well.
Go about your business.
Where's your roomie?
I-I don't have one.
Ex-roomie. Dion?
I don't know. I haven't seen him since I moved out two weeks ago.
Why'd you move?
He bought the place. Didn't want a roommate anymore.
You didn't file a change of address.
I-I mailed it in yesterday.
You and Dion partners?
No. He-he works his own trades.
A Petty Officer Second day trades in the market?
Dion's sharp.
Is that what this is about? His inside trading?
Inside trading? Had to be.
He makes a lot more money than I do in the market.
The drug market?
Dion wasn't dealing drugs.
I'd have known.
Uh-huh.
Well, if he was, I didn't know, I swear!
Where's Dion now?
I don't know!
He's a workaholic.
If he's not home, he's at his job.
( cell phone rings )
Yeah. Gibbs.
CHENEY: I've got good news and I've got bad news, Gibbs.
This is your car, right? Okay...
You make a couple hundred grand a year and you drive this?
I'm not a... car guy.
Don't you dig chicks?
Right. Got it.
Get McGee and Abby to do what they do when they hook up.
( chuckles )
You meant their computers.
Then you take him in.
Well, I haven't done... Shut up!
So, what's up?
Lieutenant Cheney found Petty Officer Lambert.
Where?
In a ravine in Rock Creek Park.
( indistinct police radio communications )
DUCKY: This the petty officer who faked his murder, Jethro?
Unless DNA says otherwise.
Yeah, well, he's not faking now.
Shooter put one round
into the back of his head.
DUCKY: And his hair is burned.
I'd say the muzzle was within two inches of his skull.
Aaron Wright doesn't have the guts
to pull a trigger looking you in the eyes.
Neither does George Mansur,
but my gut's telling me
that Ducky's about to eliminate him as a suspect.
What time did our boy die, Duck?
Patience, Jethro.
Mr. Palmer is at home
with the flu, so I'm my own assistant tonight.
Yeah.
Judging by the ambient temperature,
I'd say he expired
between 1800 and 2100 hours.
How does that jibe with your gut?
Well... let us see.
Oh, wow.
Mansur bought Argente Cosmetics
two days before it jumped 28 points.
Must have been when the FDA approved androgen lipstick.
It increases a woman's libido.
Viagra for women?
Why is that funny, McGee?
It's not that it's funny.
It's, it's, you know, women.
Women...
don't need to be turned on
before they perform?
No, no, that's not what I mean, Abby.
( phone rings )
What?!
Whoa!
Yikes, Abby.
What did McGee do this time?
He put his size ten shoe
in his size 12 mouth.
GIBBS: When did Mansur log on
at the cyber cafe?
16:56.
Four minutes before the Tokyo market opened.
The longest trading gap was eight minutes
until Neander-boy took over.
When you're done with Neander-boy,
tell him to release Mansur.
That might be a while, Gibbs.
MONTELEONE: Oh, no, wait a minute, wait a minute.
No, no, no, no, no.
I've never paid for it in my life.
Uh-huh.
Well, I was 15
and my cousin Anzo
paid Maggie O'Brian for the both of us,
but that doesn't count.
Yes it does, Tony.
I'm Primo.
Sorry. Couldn't tell the two of you apart.
Look at this.
Someone's been chain smoking here.
Do you smoke, Aaron?
All right, you got me, all right?
I lit up in your elevator. What's the big...?
Oh, geez.
How's it going, Ducky?
Slow, with no assistant.
This the killer?
I didn't kill anybody.
I don't even own a gun.
You want to see what your bullet did?
No.
Did Aaron just acknowledge he shot him?
Sounded that way to me.
No. I don't want to see this.
I can assure you, it will be very instructional.
Your slug penetrated the occipital lobe,
instantly blinding the poor boy.
Death, of course, was so sudden,
I doubt that he'd notice it.
It then
entered the corpus callosum.
Oh, God, just stop.
I gotta barf.
During the 18th century, the corpus callosum
was believed to house the soul.
It wasn't till the mid-20th century
that scientists determined
that it's a thick bundle of nerve fibers
to transfer information between the right and left
hemispheres of the brain.
Fascinating.
I didn't kill Dion.
Dion?
Definitely someone he was on a first-name basis with.
Is that deal you offered still on the table?
Hell, no.
I know who killed him.
Do I get the deal?
Not if it was you.
I can live with that.
I picked up the drugs from a blind mailbox.
I sent the cash by return mail.
The last shipment came in two days ago.
I dropped 50 grand in the mail that night.
He made a million and got whacked
waiting for 50 grand.
You cops always inflate.
They never made anywhere near a mil.
They?
Dion and his partner.
CHENEY: What partner?
I don't know his name. I only worked with Dion.
Hey, wait-wait.
Just... hear me out. Please.
Sorry. His partner is a...
a computer geek where Dion works.
He picked up on the scam
and he threatened to report it unless Dion
cut him in on half.
Find the partner...
you find his killer.
WILKERSON: I don't believe him.
If two of my people were ripping off
the system, I should be fired for incompetence.
They weren't both doing it.
Petty Officer Wilson caught on to the scam.
Well, if he caught on, I should have.
They sat next to each other.
You're not very computer-literate are you, Jethro?
McGEE: Boss?
He's got a Trojan horse
on Petty Officer Lambert's computer.
He could access his programs.
I didn't insert that.
Just once, boss,
I wish one of these guys would say
"You got me."
"I did it."
McGee.
Sorry, man.
Ma'am, you know me.
I love the Navy.
I wouldn't steal from it.
I believe you, Niles.
How could I have missed this yesterday?
Nobody gets everything right
the first time, McGee...
except Gibbs.
I just can't believe that Niles did it.
McGee, you're so...
trusting.
What's wrong with that?
Well, it's great in a relationship.
Kind of sucks for an investigation.
Aw...
Poor baby.
( kissing )
Familiar with this new advance
in technology called... power tools?
Close your eyes.
Mm?
You feel the wood?
You don't get a sensation
like that from a power tool.
( laughing )
Something is hinky here, McGee.
These are the butts that Kate found at the crime scene.
Looks like identical twins.
All from the same pack.
Now, these
are Aaron Wright and Petty Officer Wilson's Triboros.
Twins, but not identical
because they came from different packs.
Correct... but not my point.
The killer didn't smoke Triboros.
The butts that Kate found were Llamas.
Okay, I gotta call Gibbs.
You just proved that Petty Officer Wilson isn't the killer.
Or Aaron Wright?
You ruled out both suspects.
No, I didn't.
Either one could still be the murderer.
All I proved is that someone smoked Llamas
at Rock Creek Park.
( phone ringing )
( clearing throat ): Yeah. Gibbs.
Boss, uh...
I-I don't know if this is important or not.
McGee,
this had better be the most important
phone call you ever made.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Everything all right?
Yeah.
Come on, what's wrong?
Your petty officer won't admit to any involvement.
Well... I don't believe he was.
You got a smoke?
Well, that surprises me.
Thank you. Mm-hmm.
Ever been to Sicily?
Interesting segue.
No.
Capaci's a town outside Palermo.
In '91, there was a Mafia don
sitting in a hillside orchard
chain-smoking,
watching the road below.
Two cars in a tight formation came around the corner.
The don hit a switch.
The road exploded.
It killed the chief magistrate
prosecuting the Sicilian Mafia, his wife and three bodyguards.
The Italian carabinari, they found
the cigarette butts in the orchard.
Sent them to our FBI crime lab.
They matched the DNA
from the saliva on the filters to the don.
It's the first time that DNA
was ever used successfully
to prosecute a killer.
You are a very strange man.
( chuckling )
Yeah. Yeah...
It's about to get stranger.
( snuffing cigarette )
Karen.
I hope that the DNA on this cigarette
doesn't match the butts found where Dion was executed.
Oh, I really do.
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