1 00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:45,779 BOY: The French have said au revoir to the franc. 2 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,316 The Germans have said Auf Wiedersehen 3 00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:50,017 to the Deutsche Mark. 4 00:00:50,118 --> 00:00:52,386 And the Portuguese have said... 5 00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:54,555 whatever to their thing. 6 00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:55,923 Go! 7 00:00:56,023 --> 00:00:59,227 Now it's our turn to say good-bye to sterling. 8 00:00:59,327 --> 00:01:02,463 This Christmas, we are going to get the euro. 9 00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:04,532 Good-bye, old pounds. 10 00:01:04,632 --> 00:01:06,567 Everyone says we're going to miss you. 11 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:09,737 Faster! Faster! Come on! 12 00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:13,341 Faster! Go! 13 00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:14,442 I can't see you! 14 00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:15,709 Where are you? 15 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:17,044 I'm over here. 16 00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:20,114 This is the main drag along here. 17 00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:21,415 That's Portland. 18 00:01:21,515 --> 00:01:26,387 Bisecting that at right angles is Lundy on that side. 19 00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:29,490 On this side is Fastnet. 20 00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,192 What's yours? 21 00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:32,360 Cromarty. 22 00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,395 Cromarty and German Bight. 23 00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:37,698 Cul de sac, over there. 24 00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:40,601 ( indistinct shouting ) 25 00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:50,244 Keep pedaling! Come on! 26 00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:59,253 Beat ya! 27 00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:08,262 ( chattering ) 28 00:02:10,698 --> 00:02:12,166 Upstairs! 29 00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:14,302 This is my room. 30 00:02:14,402 --> 00:02:15,469 And mine. 31 00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:18,239 Get your own room. 32 00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:24,144 ( rapid hammering ) 33 00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:30,184 ( shouting ) 34 00:02:30,284 --> 00:02:33,321 ( hammering ) 35 00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:48,402 Whoa. 36 00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:54,242 ( laughing ) 37 00:02:54,342 --> 00:02:56,610 Whoa, look at that. 38 00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:58,712 Whoa. 39 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:16,196 The patron saint of house removals is Saint Anne. 40 00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:17,331 Did you know that? 41 00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:18,566 No, I didn't know that, no. 42 00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:19,700 Yeah, she lived 43 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,235 in the desert, obviously, 44 00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:23,671 and when she wanted to move house, angels came 45 00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:25,939 picked up her house and took it to Italy. 46 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,341 Handy. 47 00:03:34,582 --> 00:03:35,883 MAN: What about these two? 48 00:03:35,983 --> 00:03:37,518 She was our Lady's mother. 49 00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:38,786 What you on about, Damian? 50 00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:40,321 Saint Anne-- I've got her picture. 51 00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:42,723 No, I don't care. Just get in the car, will you? 52 00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,191 We're going. Go on. 53 00:03:44,292 --> 00:03:45,893 Get in the car. 54 00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:49,463 Was she in it at the time? 55 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:50,598 Who? 56 00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:53,401 Saint Anne, when the angels did the, 57 00:03:53,501 --> 00:03:55,303 you know, the airlift. 58 00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:56,837 I don't know. 59 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,841 ( woman laughing ) 60 00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:04,678 ( laughing echoing ) 61 00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:06,780 WOMAN: Look at you. 62 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,683 You look like a little angel. 63 00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:17,391 ( honking ) 64 00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:35,809 DAMIAN: "Start with the money." 65 00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:37,445 That's what our Anthony says. 66 00:04:37,545 --> 00:04:39,913 That's what people want to know about. 67 00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:41,782 Like if you're moving house, 68 00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:43,451 you don't say, "We're moving house 69 00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:45,786 and the new one's got a green door." 70 00:04:45,886 --> 00:04:47,621 You say how much you're paying, 71 00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:49,757 how much you got for the old one. 72 00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:54,562 Mortgage, interest rates, stamp duty, solicitor's fees, 73 00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:58,432 how much you'll get if the new one goes up in value. 74 00:04:58,532 --> 00:04:59,700 That's called equity. 75 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,669 Personally, I think, "So what?" 76 00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:04,505 Money's just a thing, and things change. 77 00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:07,875 One minute, something's there and you can cuddle up to it, 78 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:11,612 the next minute it's gone, like a malteser. 79 00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:12,846 That goes in the kitchen. 80 00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:14,982 Is this fantastic or what? 81 00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:18,852 Surprisingly spacious, with attractive views. 82 00:05:18,952 --> 00:05:21,422 And anyway, in the end, 83 00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:24,758 it turns out it wasn't about the money after all. 84 00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:26,293 Good lad. 85 00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:28,295 Watch it, lads. Up to the main bedroom. 86 00:05:28,396 --> 00:05:30,498 Anyone see where the phone plugs are? 87 00:05:30,598 --> 00:05:31,732 No? 88 00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:36,704 ( indistinct conversations ) 89 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:27,888 Right. 90 00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:29,723 This is what we're having tonight, yeah? 91 00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:30,858 Mm-hmm. 92 00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:32,359 Before countdown, put the oven on. 93 00:06:32,460 --> 00:06:34,394 After countdown, get a packet of these, 94 00:06:34,495 --> 00:06:35,863 put 'em in there with some oven chips, yeah? 95 00:06:35,963 --> 00:06:36,930 It's for Mum. 96 00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:38,566 The time is on here, yeah? 97 00:06:38,666 --> 00:06:40,768 Okay. That's how long they have to stay in. 98 00:06:40,868 --> 00:06:42,570 By the time they're ready, I'll be back. 99 00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:46,406 She may already have won £10,000. 100 00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:49,076 He name has been entered in a draw. 101 00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:51,679 All she has to do is... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 102 00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:53,947 Thank you. Hands. 103 00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:55,983 Other sides. 104 00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:00,954 Let's go. 105 00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:02,690 Come on. 106 00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:04,391 That's you. Yeah. 107 00:07:04,492 --> 00:07:06,426 That's you. Get your bags. 108 00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:07,928 Yeah, and your book bag, Damian. 109 00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:09,396 Keys... 110 00:07:09,497 --> 00:07:11,431 I'm in the front, Damian. Why? 111 00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:12,700 Oh, yeah. 112 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,602 ANTHONY: 'Cause I'm the eldest. 113 00:07:16,604 --> 00:07:17,671 Now, remember, 114 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:18,839 it's no good being clever. 115 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,040 You've got to be the cleverest, yeah? 116 00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:21,041 All right, see you, Dad. 117 00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:22,409 Good luck, lads. See you. 118 00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:25,112 Are you nervous? DAMIAN: A bit. 119 00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:34,054 So, everybody sitting up nicely? Excellent. 120 00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:36,490 Now, we're talking today about people we admire. 121 00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:39,192 Dominic. Roy Keane, sir. Manchester United. 122 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,529 Very good. Roy Keane. What about you, Barry? 123 00:07:41,629 --> 00:07:44,064 Van Nistelrooy, sir. Van Nistelrooy. Right. 124 00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:46,066 Anyone got any heroes who don't play for United? 125 00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:47,067 Jack. 126 00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:48,736 Robbie Fowler, sir. City. 127 00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:50,170 ( children booing ) 128 00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:51,839 All right, that's enough. 129 00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:53,073 Tricia. 130 00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:55,509 I don't know any footballers, sir. 131 00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:56,977 It doesn't have to be a footballer. 132 00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:58,712 It could be anyone. 133 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,648 Don't know, sir. 134 00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:02,583 No? Damian. 135 00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:04,518 Saint Roch, sir. 136 00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:05,553 Who's he play for? 137 00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:06,987 No one, sir. He's a saint. 138 00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:08,689 Oh, well, that's better. Go on. 139 00:08:08,789 --> 00:08:11,491 He was so worried that he might say something bad 140 00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:14,595 that he said nothing at all for 20 years. 141 00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:16,797 ( chuckling ): We could do with a couple like him 142 00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:18,131 in this class. 143 00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:19,933 Thank you, Damian. I like a lot 144 00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:22,770 of virgin martyrs, too, like Saint Agatha. 145 00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:24,471 She ripped her own eyes out 146 00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:25,806 so she wouldn't have to marry this man. 147 00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:26,974 CLASS: Ew... 148 00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:29,777 Or Saint Catherine of Alexandria. 149 00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:30,978 They tried to kill her 150 00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:32,512 by crushing her to death on a wheel, 151 00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:34,214 but she made the wheel explode, 152 00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:37,184 and all the splinters killed people in the crowd. 153 00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:39,186 CLASS: Ew... 154 00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:40,788 The patron saint of fireworks. 155 00:08:40,888 --> 00:08:42,956 That's where we get the Catherine Wheel from. 156 00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:45,559 I-I did say "Thank you," Damian. 157 00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:47,995 Right. I brought in this picture. 158 00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:49,162 This is a hero of mine. 159 00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:51,164 Who knows who this is? 160 00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:53,533 BOY: Nelson Mandela? Fantastic. 161 00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:54,635 Nelson Mandela. 162 00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:57,638 Now, who knows what Nelson Mandela did? 163 00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:08,816 ( bell rings ) 164 00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:10,651 ANTHONY: You should be careful what you talk about. 165 00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:13,821 Try talking about football or something. 166 00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:16,123 Keep off the weird stuff. 167 00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:17,925 Just don't be conspicuous, 168 00:09:18,025 --> 00:09:19,760 or you won't fit in. 169 00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:22,329 ( children shouting ) 170 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:28,636 ( children laughing ) 171 00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:31,839 GIRLS ( singing ): * Double, double, ice, ice, double, double, cream, cream * 172 00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:35,208 * Double ice, double cream, double, double, ice cream * 173 00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:38,111 * Double, double, ice, ice... 174 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,288 Look at that. 175 00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:50,858 ANTHONY: Aero and a Yorkie, please, 176 00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:53,593 and five juicy lips. 177 00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:56,263 Haven't seen you two here before. 178 00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:57,965 We just moved here. 179 00:09:58,065 --> 00:10:00,200 Our mum's dead. 180 00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:04,137 Yeah, well, go on. You're all right. 181 00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:06,273 Thanks. God bless. Who's next? 182 00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:07,875 ANTHONY: Works every time. 183 00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:08,976 Tell 'em your mum's dead, 184 00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:11,278 and they give you stuff every time. 185 00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:23,991 I'm your community policeman. 186 00:10:24,091 --> 00:10:25,358 ( chuckles ) 187 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:28,261 Obviously, there is no community here as yet-- 188 00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:30,263 not to speak of, but, uh, you know... 189 00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:31,665 ( chuckles ) 190 00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:33,801 Anyway, the first thing to say 191 00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:36,870 is these new houses and Christmas coming up... 192 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:40,140 statistically, you're going to get burgled. 193 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:44,011 Now, not all of you, but some of you... soon. 194 00:10:44,111 --> 00:10:45,879 Probably this week, 195 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,114 next. 196 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,850 When you are... 197 00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:51,251 call me. 198 00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:54,221 I'll give you a crime number, 199 00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:57,991 and then... you can make a claim 200 00:10:58,091 --> 00:10:59,893 on your insurance. 201 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,361 ( chuckles ) 202 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,097 Building maintenance. 203 00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:06,133 Yeah, that's right. Yeah. 204 00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:07,968 OFFICER: Uh, I'm usually right. 205 00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:09,770 It's a-a knack. 206 00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:13,106 Do you mind me asking... is the kettle actually on? 207 00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:15,175 Um... Oh, sorry. 208 00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:17,077 Yes. Isn't the problem here 209 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,947 that our houses are built on sand? 210 00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:21,648 Sand? No. 211 00:11:21,749 --> 00:11:22,816 They're not, are they? 212 00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:25,819 If you store up your treasure on Earth, 213 00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:28,321 it will be stolen... but if you give it away, 214 00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:30,190 then it can't be stolen. 215 00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:32,192 Mormons. 216 00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:35,195 ( laughs ): Well, Latter Day Saints. 217 00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:36,663 Saints? 218 00:11:36,764 --> 00:11:38,031 I know all about them... Uh, Damian, 219 00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:40,667 go and give Terry a hand in the kitchen, will you? 220 00:11:40,768 --> 00:11:43,036 Yeah, you, too, Anthony. Off you go. Good lads. 221 00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:45,272 Now, some of you 222 00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:47,040 are going to be burgled. 223 00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:48,776 There are things I can tell you 224 00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:51,411 that will lower the odds of it being you personally. 225 00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:53,713 It's a bit antisocial, because if it isn't you, 226 00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:56,449 it'll be next door, but, eh, there you go. 227 00:11:58,185 --> 00:12:00,387 Our mum's dead. 228 00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:06,393 Yeah. 229 00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:08,361 Come on. Help yourself. 230 00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:12,966 Take as many as you like, son. 231 00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:15,502 ( kettle whistling ) 232 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,449 Results. 233 00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:33,821 Is it completely honest? 234 00:12:33,921 --> 00:12:36,123 Completely dead, isn't she? 235 00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:13,526 ( knocking ) 236 00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:14,928 What? 237 00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:20,067 What do you want? 238 00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:24,404 Can't you see I'm busy? 239 00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:26,139 Just go away. 240 00:13:43,290 --> 00:13:46,526 I don't like having my own room. 241 00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:19,159 ( electronic music playing ) 242 00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:32,973 Clare of Assisi, 243 00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:34,942 1194 till 1253. 244 00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:36,143 That's right. 245 00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:42,115 I used to have a hermitage myself once. 246 00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:48,888 I used to go and hide up there. 247 00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:51,458 If anyone needed me, I'd send them a vision. 248 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,126 Sort them out. 249 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,028 That's why I'm the patron saint of television. 250 00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:58,966 I was like human television. 251 00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:00,600 You're the patron saint 252 00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:03,036 of television? Keeps me busy... 253 00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:04,271 you know. 254 00:15:06,173 --> 00:15:08,475 Are you allowed to smoke there? 255 00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,978 You can do what you like up there, son. 256 00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:14,281 It's down here you have to make the effort. 257 00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:19,252 Do you ever come across a Saint Maureen? 258 00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:21,554 She hasn't been there long. 259 00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:23,290 Doesn't ring a bell. 260 00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:25,458 Then again... 261 00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:28,161 it is infinite up there... 262 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,230 absolutely, 263 00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:32,699 bloody infinite. 264 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,936 ( whispers ): Listen. 265 00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:51,351 ( Damian grunts ) 266 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:52,952 Dad! 267 00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:21,181 ANTHONY: What is it anyway? 268 00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:23,750 What are you doing with all these boxes? 269 00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:27,387 What's that? 270 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,189 Wait till you see. 271 00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:32,192 ( Anthony gasps ) 272 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,499 Where'd you get that? 273 00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:41,734 You can see it, too, then? 274 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,304 Well, you know... 275 00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:46,106 sometimes you see things, 276 00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:50,277 don't you, and other people can't see them. 277 00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:52,245 What? Well, you know, sometimes, 278 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:55,248 but this is real, though. 279 00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,650 This is real. 280 00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:59,152 This is real. 281 00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:00,687 DAMIAN: Can't wait to tell Dad. 282 00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:02,655 ANTHONY: You can't tell Dad about this. 283 00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:05,258 You can't tell anyone about this. 284 00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:06,559 Why not? 285 00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:08,161 Tax. Huh? 286 00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:11,298 If the government finds out about this, 287 00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:13,333 they'll take 40% of it away. 288 00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:14,401 40%. 289 00:17:14,501 --> 00:17:16,336 Do you know how much that is? 290 00:17:16,436 --> 00:17:18,638 Nearly all of it. 291 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,349 Should we count it before we go? 292 00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:31,017 No, we can't. 293 00:17:31,118 --> 00:17:33,420 We're really late. 294 00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:39,559 How much?! 295 00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:41,528 How much?! There're thousands! 296 00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:43,430 Ten thousand! Fifty thousand! 297 00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:45,698 Seventy! Two hundred thousand! 298 00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:47,167 Millions, even. 299 00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:48,435 ( both laughing ) 300 00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:50,303 ( winding ) 301 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,272 Cash Jenga. 302 00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:53,440 BOTH: Oink-oink. 303 00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:55,408 Oink-oink. Oink-oink-oink. 304 00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:57,477 ( both shout ) 305 00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,312 Promise not to tell anyone. 306 00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:01,548 What is it? 307 00:18:01,648 --> 00:18:03,583 How much is it? Thousands. 308 00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:04,784 Hundreds. 309 00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:06,253 It's just hundreds. 310 00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:08,155 No one else knows. 311 00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:09,456 So if anyone finds out, 312 00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:11,391 we'll know it's you, okay? 313 00:18:15,462 --> 00:18:16,729 If anyone finds out, 314 00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:17,764 we'll know it's you. 315 00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:19,332 No one else knows. 316 00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,067 Just me and you. 317 00:18:21,168 --> 00:18:22,269 Here. 318 00:18:22,369 --> 00:18:23,336 Thanks. 319 00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,438 Yeah, just keep it shut. 320 00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:39,486 229,520 pounds, 321 00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:42,722 minus 100 quid each, spending money 322 00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:46,125 leaves 229,320 quid. 323 00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:49,196 DAMIAN: And we're gonna give all that to the poor. 324 00:18:49,296 --> 00:18:51,364 ANTHONY: Where are you gonna find poor people? 325 00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:54,100 ( descending stairs ) DAMIAN: There's loads of poor people. 326 00:18:54,201 --> 00:18:55,235 ANTHONY: Not around here. 327 00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:57,537 The house prices keep them out. 328 00:19:11,618 --> 00:19:16,456 * 329 00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:27,467 Go on. Go! Go! 330 00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:29,202 ( chirping ) 331 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:39,178 Go! Go! 332 00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:41,180 Go on. Go! Go! 333 00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:42,482 Go on. Go! Go! Go! 334 00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:44,251 Go on! 335 00:19:50,457 --> 00:19:52,359 Francis of Assisi, 336 00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:54,394 1181 till 1226. 337 00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:57,597 You did this, didn't you? 338 00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,732 My first act as a saint. 339 00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:09,909 What was your next one? 340 00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:11,344 Washing a leper. 341 00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:12,612 A leper? 342 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,981 You could just help the poor, Damian. 343 00:20:17,284 --> 00:20:20,420 GIRL: Big Issue. Help the homeless. 344 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,689 Big Issue, anyone? 345 00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:25,958 Hello. 346 00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,193 And keep the change. 347 00:20:27,294 --> 00:20:28,695 Well, thanks, mate. 348 00:20:28,795 --> 00:20:30,497 I've had nothing to eat all day. 349 00:20:30,597 --> 00:20:32,732 Oh, we're going to Pizza Hut. 350 00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:34,634 Want to come? No! 351 00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:35,735 No, she doesn't. 352 00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:37,203 She just wants more money. 353 00:20:37,304 --> 00:20:38,305 We haven't got any more. 354 00:20:38,405 --> 00:20:40,407 No, I fancy pizza, actually. 355 00:20:40,507 --> 00:20:42,241 Can I bring my friend? 356 00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:53,753 Meat feast, deep and juicy, stuffed crust. 357 00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:55,355 Two meat, please. Thin and crispy. 358 00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:56,389 Big New Yorker. 359 00:20:56,489 --> 00:20:57,524 Combo platter. 360 00:20:57,624 --> 00:20:58,658 Do us a farmhouse. 361 00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,327 I'll have some garlic bread, love. 362 00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:01,494 We'll all have garlic bread while we're waiting. 363 00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,296 And Dippin' Chicken. 364 00:21:03,396 --> 00:21:04,997 To share?! 365 00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:06,366 This is great! 366 00:21:06,466 --> 00:21:07,434 Anthony thought there were 367 00:21:07,534 --> 00:21:08,901 no poor people around here 368 00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:10,703 because of the house prices. 369 00:21:10,803 --> 00:21:12,339 We're not from around here. 370 00:21:12,439 --> 00:21:13,440 I come in on the bus. 371 00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:14,674 I come in on the train. 372 00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:16,008 Can't afford to live around here. 373 00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:17,510 Who exactly is paying 374 00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:18,878 for all this? We are. 375 00:21:19,846 --> 00:21:21,314 You must be minted! 376 00:21:21,414 --> 00:21:22,515 Yeah, we are. No! 377 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,250 No, we're not. 378 00:21:24,351 --> 00:21:26,419 It's birthday money. His birthday money. 379 00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:27,654 He saved it. 380 00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:28,821 Puddings? 381 00:21:28,921 --> 00:21:30,390 ( all clamor ) 382 00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:31,824 No! 383 00:21:31,924 --> 00:21:33,793 ANTHONY: 168 quid. 384 00:21:33,893 --> 00:21:35,895 Do you know how many times you'd have to visit Pizza Hut 385 00:21:35,995 --> 00:21:37,597 to get rid of all the money? 386 00:21:37,697 --> 00:21:40,400 1,303.517 times. 387 00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:41,701 It's just not practical. 388 00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:43,002 We should buy property. 389 00:21:43,102 --> 00:21:44,036 See this house. 390 00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:45,805 We could buy two like that. 391 00:21:45,905 --> 00:21:48,675 If they knock some off the asking price. 392 00:21:48,775 --> 00:21:50,276 And if we did buy property, 393 00:21:50,377 --> 00:21:53,413 that will go up in value, so we'd have even more money. 394 00:21:53,513 --> 00:21:54,481 Damian? 395 00:21:54,581 --> 00:21:56,416 ( whistling ) 396 00:22:03,456 --> 00:22:05,358 Excuse me. 397 00:22:06,726 --> 00:22:07,727 Are you poor? 398 00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:08,761 Beg your pardon? 399 00:22:08,861 --> 00:22:09,829 Are you poor? 400 00:22:09,929 --> 00:22:11,631 Are you asking for money? 401 00:22:11,731 --> 00:22:13,566 Me? No. 402 00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:15,067 Because we don't have any. 403 00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:17,370 We live in a community, you know, 404 00:22:17,470 --> 00:22:18,705 it's very basic. 405 00:22:18,805 --> 00:22:20,440 We don't have a dishwasher, for instance, 406 00:22:20,540 --> 00:22:21,808 or a microwave. 407 00:22:21,908 --> 00:22:24,711 And there's no cash kept on the premises. 408 00:22:24,811 --> 00:22:26,679 So you are poor? 409 00:22:28,548 --> 00:22:29,516 In a sense, yes. 410 00:22:29,616 --> 00:22:31,918 Brilliant! 411 00:22:41,728 --> 00:22:46,566 ( man speaking Latin ) 412 00:22:46,666 --> 00:22:48,735 Saint Nicholas of Myra. 413 00:22:55,542 --> 00:22:56,876 ( chuckles ) 414 00:22:56,976 --> 00:22:59,378 It won't all fit. 415 00:23:09,856 --> 00:23:11,858 Saint Nicholas, do you ever 416 00:23:11,958 --> 00:23:14,894 come across a Saint Maureen? 417 00:23:14,994 --> 00:23:17,464 Saint Maureen-- she's new. 418 00:23:19,198 --> 00:23:20,399 Skin care. 419 00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:23,002 She worked on the makeup counter at Selfridges. 420 00:23:33,079 --> 00:23:35,548 CHORUS: * Deck the halls with boughs of holly * 421 00:23:35,648 --> 00:23:37,383 * Fa-la-la-la... 422 00:23:37,484 --> 00:23:39,586 ANNOUNCER: It's less than a fortnight to E-Day. 423 00:23:39,686 --> 00:23:41,788 That's when Britain completes transition 424 00:23:41,888 --> 00:23:44,524 to the European Monetary Union, the EIMU. 425 00:23:44,624 --> 00:23:48,495 With 12 days left to E-day... 426 00:23:48,595 --> 00:23:51,063 my true love said to me... 427 00:23:51,163 --> 00:23:52,932 The transitional exchange rate 428 00:23:53,032 --> 00:23:56,736 is fixed at 67 p. 429 00:23:56,836 --> 00:23:59,071 Oh, well, all I can say 430 00:23:59,171 --> 00:24:01,874 is ding dong. ( laughs ) 431 00:24:01,974 --> 00:24:03,943 ANNOUNCER: After E-day, your old money 432 00:24:04,043 --> 00:24:05,978 will no longer be legal tender. 433 00:24:06,078 --> 00:24:07,680 It's pounds good-bye... 434 00:24:07,780 --> 00:24:08,781 and euros... 435 00:24:08,881 --> 00:24:09,949 Hello. 436 00:24:38,611 --> 00:24:41,147 * They cried their tears 437 00:24:41,247 --> 00:24:43,015 * They shed their fears 438 00:24:43,115 --> 00:24:47,854 * Up and down the land 439 00:24:48,220 --> 00:24:49,822 * They stole guitars * 440 00:24:49,922 --> 00:24:52,692 * Or used guitars ( whistle blows ) 441 00:24:52,792 --> 00:24:57,496 * So the tape would understand * 442 00:24:57,930 --> 00:25:02,635 * Without even the slightest hope * 443 00:25:03,570 --> 00:25:08,040 * Of a thousand sales 444 00:25:08,140 --> 00:25:10,009 * Just as if 445 00:25:10,109 --> 00:25:12,679 * As if there was 446 00:25:12,779 --> 00:25:14,681 * A hitsville in UK 447 00:25:14,781 --> 00:25:17,650 ANTHONY: We don't have to queue up. 448 00:25:17,750 --> 00:25:18,918 * I know the boy 449 00:25:19,018 --> 00:25:21,120 Here we go. * Was all alone 450 00:25:21,220 --> 00:25:23,089 * Till the hitsville 451 00:25:23,189 --> 00:25:25,157 How much have you actually got? * Hit UK 452 00:25:25,257 --> 00:25:26,659 Plenty. 453 00:25:26,759 --> 00:25:28,027 * Remember 454 00:25:28,127 --> 00:25:31,197 * They say true talent 455 00:25:31,297 --> 00:25:32,765 * Will always 456 00:25:32,865 --> 00:25:34,133 ( horn honking ) * Emerge in time... 457 00:25:34,233 --> 00:25:36,068 Anthony Cunningham. 458 00:25:36,168 --> 00:25:38,137 Where's your dad? My dad? 459 00:25:38,237 --> 00:25:39,572 Well, he's not coming. Eh? 460 00:25:39,672 --> 00:25:40,707 Yet, he's not coming yet. 461 00:25:40,807 --> 00:25:42,174 He said to start without him. 462 00:25:42,274 --> 00:25:43,710 Start what without him? 463 00:25:43,810 --> 00:25:45,511 The job is to show him around the apartment. 464 00:25:45,612 --> 00:25:46,913 How can I do that if he isn't here? 465 00:25:47,013 --> 00:25:48,781 * ...No expense accounts He gave me this. 466 00:25:48,881 --> 00:25:50,750 * Or lunch discounts... Show me around, 467 00:25:50,850 --> 00:25:52,518 and I'll fill him in afterwards. 468 00:25:52,619 --> 00:25:54,987 * ...Or hyping up the charts It's what we usually do. 469 00:25:56,689 --> 00:25:58,057 * The band went in... 470 00:25:58,157 --> 00:26:00,259 We're looking at this for our investment portfolio. 471 00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:01,728 Not as a residence. 472 00:26:01,828 --> 00:26:03,295 Has it kept its value? 473 00:26:03,395 --> 00:26:05,097 It's gone up 20% in the last two years 474 00:26:05,197 --> 00:26:06,733 because of the schools. 475 00:26:06,833 --> 00:26:08,701 He does send you to school, doesn't he? 476 00:26:08,801 --> 00:26:10,703 Or do you just look at photos of them? 477 00:26:10,803 --> 00:26:14,741 * ...Till the hitsville hit UK... * 478 00:26:14,841 --> 00:26:16,542 Floodlights, scoreboards, stadium. 479 00:26:16,643 --> 00:26:19,946 It's the dogs bollocks this, family heirloom. 480 00:26:20,046 --> 00:26:21,047 Fifty quid? 481 00:26:21,147 --> 00:26:22,548 Fifty quid? 482 00:26:22,649 --> 00:26:23,983 I could buy a proper football team for that. 483 00:26:24,083 --> 00:26:27,119 I could buy Crewe Alexander for that. 484 00:26:27,219 --> 00:26:28,254 Yeah but... 485 00:26:28,354 --> 00:26:29,956 this has got managers. 486 00:26:30,056 --> 00:26:31,090 Dan Leavy 487 00:26:31,190 --> 00:26:32,224 and Malcolm Allinson. 488 00:26:32,324 --> 00:26:33,660 Never heard of him. 489 00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:35,628 Deal. 490 00:26:35,728 --> 00:26:37,697 ( girls screaming and laughing ) 491 00:26:37,797 --> 00:26:39,632 GRAHAM: You said you would 492 00:26:39,732 --> 00:26:40,900 for five quid. I didn't know 493 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:42,635 you were going to get five quid, did I? 494 00:26:42,735 --> 00:26:43,836 Ten quid then? 495 00:26:43,936 --> 00:26:45,705 Look, 496 00:26:45,805 --> 00:26:47,006 I've got a good body. 497 00:26:47,106 --> 00:26:48,240 ( giggling ) 498 00:26:48,340 --> 00:26:49,842 20 quid, last offer. 499 00:26:49,942 --> 00:26:53,880 * ...I know the boy was all alone * 500 00:26:53,980 --> 00:26:58,718 * Till the hitsville hit UK. 501 00:27:09,696 --> 00:27:12,665 Martyrs of Uganda, 1881? 502 00:27:12,765 --> 00:27:13,900 That's right. 503 00:27:14,901 --> 00:27:18,370 Oh, sorry about that. 504 00:27:18,470 --> 00:27:20,773 I was beheaded. 505 00:27:20,873 --> 00:27:21,808 See. 506 00:27:21,908 --> 00:27:24,310 Before that, I was in construction. 507 00:27:24,410 --> 00:27:29,015 I don't know who built this, but they were a right cowboy. 508 00:27:29,115 --> 00:27:31,718 I built it myself. 509 00:27:31,818 --> 00:27:33,352 Well, we'll see what we can do. 510 00:27:33,452 --> 00:27:35,021 But I can't promise anything. 511 00:27:35,121 --> 00:27:36,188 Why not? 512 00:27:36,288 --> 00:27:37,256 There's plenty of you. 513 00:27:37,356 --> 00:27:38,290 Yes. 514 00:27:38,390 --> 00:27:41,227 Come on, welcome. 515 00:27:48,334 --> 00:27:50,036 Hello. 516 00:27:50,136 --> 00:27:54,306 ( men singing in native language ) 517 00:27:58,010 --> 00:27:59,779 What are they singing? 518 00:27:59,879 --> 00:28:04,283 ( men continue singing ) 519 00:28:04,383 --> 00:28:07,119 They are praying for rain. 520 00:28:07,219 --> 00:28:09,421 Where I come from, 521 00:28:09,521 --> 00:28:10,857 people have to pay 522 00:28:10,957 --> 00:28:13,359 a tenth of their daily income on water. 523 00:28:13,459 --> 00:28:14,927 It's so expensive 524 00:28:15,027 --> 00:28:18,064 that they can't afford to wash their hands. 525 00:28:18,164 --> 00:28:20,332 So they get disease. 526 00:28:20,432 --> 00:28:23,803 You don't need fancy hospitals or medicines 527 00:28:23,903 --> 00:28:26,005 to make life better, just a well. 528 00:28:26,105 --> 00:28:27,173 And you... 529 00:28:27,273 --> 00:28:31,343 can build a well for as little as £100. 530 00:28:31,443 --> 00:28:33,079 That's fantastic. 531 00:28:33,179 --> 00:28:34,313 Thanks. 532 00:28:35,014 --> 00:28:38,785 ( men continue singing ) 533 00:28:48,928 --> 00:28:51,898 I'm sorry. I don't know who you are. 534 00:28:51,998 --> 00:28:53,732 Mutual that, then. 535 00:28:55,334 --> 00:28:56,803 This yours? 536 00:28:58,805 --> 00:28:59,906 Nice. 537 00:29:02,374 --> 00:29:05,277 Near the railway. 538 00:29:14,987 --> 00:29:15,922 What's in there? 539 00:29:16,022 --> 00:29:17,489 Nothing really. 540 00:29:24,596 --> 00:29:26,866 What's this? 541 00:29:26,966 --> 00:29:28,200 A dress. 542 00:29:28,300 --> 00:29:29,902 It was my mum's. 543 00:29:30,002 --> 00:29:31,537 Ah. 544 00:29:40,379 --> 00:29:42,081 What are you looking for? 545 00:29:47,119 --> 00:29:48,254 Money. 546 00:29:49,355 --> 00:29:51,757 Are you poor? 547 00:29:51,858 --> 00:29:53,125 What? 548 00:29:53,225 --> 00:29:54,493 Damian, come in. 549 00:29:54,593 --> 00:29:56,195 ( over walkie-talkie ): Anthony to Damian. 550 00:29:56,295 --> 00:29:57,396 Damian, where are you? Who's that? 551 00:29:57,496 --> 00:29:58,797 My brother. I've got to go. 552 00:29:58,898 --> 00:30:00,466 I'll come back. I've got loads. 553 00:30:00,566 --> 00:30:02,334 Just wait there. It's your turn to set the table. 554 00:30:02,434 --> 00:30:03,535 Loads of what? 555 00:30:03,635 --> 00:30:04,971 You've got five seconds. Money. 556 00:30:05,071 --> 00:30:06,038 Just wait there. 557 00:30:06,138 --> 00:30:07,206 Five... four... 558 00:30:07,306 --> 00:30:09,876 three... two... 559 00:30:09,976 --> 00:30:11,343 ANTHONY: Who's that? 560 00:30:11,443 --> 00:30:13,045 A poor person, 561 00:30:13,145 --> 00:30:14,080 and you said there weren't any. 562 00:30:14,180 --> 00:30:16,148 I know. But who is it? 563 00:30:16,248 --> 00:30:17,483 DAMIAN: I don't know. 564 00:30:17,583 --> 00:30:18,517 Just someone. 565 00:30:18,617 --> 00:30:20,519 What do you mean "someone"? 566 00:30:20,619 --> 00:30:22,454 Did he do anything to you? 567 00:30:22,554 --> 00:30:25,892 What sort of things? 568 00:30:25,992 --> 00:30:26,926 Never mind. 569 00:30:27,026 --> 00:30:28,060 Look, people are weird. 570 00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:30,096 You've got to be more careful. 571 00:30:30,196 --> 00:30:32,264 You shouldn't really talk to them. 572 00:30:32,364 --> 00:30:33,499 Anyway, I've told him now. 573 00:30:33,599 --> 00:30:34,533 Told him what? 574 00:30:34,633 --> 00:30:36,368 That we have tons of money. 575 00:30:37,303 --> 00:30:38,404 He's poor. 576 00:30:40,072 --> 00:30:41,340 What? 577 00:30:45,311 --> 00:30:46,845 Nothing. Nothing. 578 00:30:46,946 --> 00:30:49,148 Leave it to me. 579 00:30:55,955 --> 00:30:57,556 ANTHONY: Where is he then? 580 00:30:57,656 --> 00:30:59,158 DAMIAN: I don't know. 581 00:30:59,258 --> 00:31:02,028 He was here a minute ago. 582 00:31:14,406 --> 00:31:16,943 See? Loads of money. 583 00:31:17,043 --> 00:31:19,511 We've been saving it up for ages. 584 00:31:20,712 --> 00:31:23,482 You can have it, if you need it. 585 00:31:24,716 --> 00:31:27,053 ( quietly ): Come on, Damian. 586 00:31:27,153 --> 00:31:29,922 You'll have to change it quickly. 587 00:31:39,431 --> 00:31:41,533 DAMIAN: Do you think that was really enough? 588 00:31:41,633 --> 00:31:43,569 ANTHONY: More than enough. 589 00:31:43,669 --> 00:31:46,038 That's him completely sorted out. 590 00:31:46,138 --> 00:31:49,475 Right. Have you given money to anyone else? 591 00:31:49,575 --> 00:31:51,043 Not really. 592 00:32:11,763 --> 00:32:14,000 ( knocking on door ) 593 00:32:14,100 --> 00:32:15,201 ANTHONY: What? 594 00:32:19,071 --> 00:32:21,007 It wasn't that much. 595 00:32:21,107 --> 00:32:22,608 Just like a bagful. 596 00:32:28,180 --> 00:32:29,148 What's that? 597 00:32:29,248 --> 00:32:30,649 Scuba Scooter. 598 00:32:30,749 --> 00:32:33,485 It goes at ten mile an hour for up to five hours. 599 00:32:33,585 --> 00:32:34,686 We could have one of them. 600 00:32:34,786 --> 00:32:36,322 We could have one each. 601 00:32:36,422 --> 00:32:38,991 We could have a whole fleet. 602 00:32:39,091 --> 00:32:40,192 She's nice. 603 00:32:40,292 --> 00:32:41,994 Hm. I've seen better. 604 00:32:42,094 --> 00:32:43,495 Close the door. 605 00:32:47,566 --> 00:32:48,700 ( door closes ) 606 00:32:53,039 --> 00:32:55,341 Look, you can see it protruding. 607 00:32:55,441 --> 00:32:57,143 What is it? 608 00:32:57,243 --> 00:32:58,310 It's a nipple. 609 00:32:58,410 --> 00:33:00,379 What's it for? 610 00:33:00,479 --> 00:33:03,615 Well, it's for feeding babies. 611 00:33:03,715 --> 00:33:05,651 Did Mum have one? 612 00:33:05,751 --> 00:33:07,486 Two. They've all got two. 613 00:33:07,586 --> 00:33:09,488 And did she feed us with them? 614 00:33:09,588 --> 00:33:11,090 Yeah, course she did. I remember. 615 00:33:11,190 --> 00:33:14,226 You can't remember when you were a baby. 616 00:33:14,326 --> 00:33:16,495 I don't remember her doing it to me. 617 00:33:16,595 --> 00:33:18,997 I remember her doing it to you. 618 00:33:20,566 --> 00:33:21,667 RONNIE: Anthony? 619 00:33:25,571 --> 00:33:26,738 What? 620 00:33:26,838 --> 00:33:29,075 I thought you'd done the washing up. 621 00:33:29,175 --> 00:33:30,276 I did it. 622 00:33:30,376 --> 00:33:32,578 What do you call that glob? 623 00:33:41,853 --> 00:33:46,558 ( children screaming ) 624 00:33:49,861 --> 00:33:52,998 ( horn honks ) 625 00:33:53,099 --> 00:33:54,233 Hi. What's your name? 626 00:33:54,333 --> 00:33:55,601 Keegan. 627 00:33:55,701 --> 00:33:57,669 All right, K, what's happened to your finger? 628 00:33:57,769 --> 00:34:00,406 That's quality. 629 00:34:00,506 --> 00:34:02,308 Pure scary, pure scary. 630 00:34:02,408 --> 00:34:03,609 Hey, give me your money. 631 00:34:03,709 --> 00:34:04,676 Come on! 632 00:34:04,776 --> 00:34:06,312 Empty your pockets! 633 00:34:06,412 --> 00:34:07,479 Hey, you! 634 00:34:07,579 --> 00:34:08,680 Excuse me. ( horn honks ) 635 00:34:08,780 --> 00:34:09,681 Excuse me. 636 00:34:09,781 --> 00:34:11,016 Give me all your money. 637 00:34:11,117 --> 00:34:13,185 Come on, every copper. 638 00:34:16,388 --> 00:34:18,590 Who feels sorry for poor children? 639 00:34:18,690 --> 00:34:21,293 Correct answer. 640 00:34:22,428 --> 00:34:23,795 Everybody sitting up nicely? 641 00:34:25,831 --> 00:34:27,333 Okay, so, as you know, 642 00:34:27,433 --> 00:34:29,368 we're going to have new money in the new year. 643 00:34:29,468 --> 00:34:34,206 Does anybody know how much a euro is worth in pounds? 644 00:34:35,474 --> 00:34:37,809 Yes. 67 p. 645 00:34:37,909 --> 00:34:39,145 Spot on. 646 00:34:39,245 --> 00:34:41,046 Here, it's a little prize for you. 647 00:34:41,147 --> 00:34:42,581 It's your own euro converter. 648 00:34:42,681 --> 00:34:43,782 Now, who else wants one? 649 00:34:43,882 --> 00:34:44,816 Anybody? 650 00:34:44,916 --> 00:34:46,285 CHILDREN: Me, me! 651 00:34:46,385 --> 00:34:48,053 Oh, everybody. 652 00:34:48,154 --> 00:34:49,555 Okay, so, who can tell me 653 00:34:49,655 --> 00:34:52,258 how much twopence is worth in euros? 654 00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:55,461 Hmm... 655 00:34:55,561 --> 00:34:57,663 Well, I'll tell you. 656 00:34:57,763 --> 00:34:59,731 It's worth... 657 00:34:59,831 --> 00:35:00,799 not very much. 658 00:35:00,899 --> 00:35:02,234 Almost nothing. 659 00:35:02,334 --> 00:35:03,369 To you. 660 00:35:03,469 --> 00:35:05,070 But... 661 00:35:05,171 --> 00:35:07,072 if we all put our twopences together 662 00:35:07,173 --> 00:35:08,674 then we'll have a lot of twopences, won't we? 663 00:35:08,774 --> 00:35:10,676 CHILDREN: Yes. 664 00:35:10,776 --> 00:35:12,511 How many people are there here? 665 00:35:13,512 --> 00:35:14,413 One... 666 00:35:14,513 --> 00:35:17,716 ALL: Two, three, four, 667 00:35:17,816 --> 00:35:20,652 five, six, seven, 668 00:35:20,752 --> 00:35:21,720 eight... 669 00:35:21,820 --> 00:35:23,355 HEADMASTER: 250. 670 00:35:23,455 --> 00:35:24,390 Sorry? 671 00:35:24,490 --> 00:35:26,124 There's 250 in the school. 672 00:35:26,225 --> 00:35:27,859 Oh, clever clogs, Headmaster. 673 00:35:27,959 --> 00:35:29,094 ( children laughing ) 674 00:35:29,195 --> 00:35:30,128 Okay, 250. 675 00:35:30,229 --> 00:35:31,797 So, if you each gave me 676 00:35:31,897 --> 00:35:35,100 two pence, then I'd have five pounds. 677 00:35:35,201 --> 00:35:38,504 It's not that much here, but, in Ethiopia, 678 00:35:38,604 --> 00:35:41,407 five pounds could feed a family for a week. 679 00:35:41,507 --> 00:35:42,708 And if you all gave me 680 00:35:42,808 --> 00:35:45,744 two twopences, then we'd have a tenner. 681 00:35:45,844 --> 00:35:47,779 And that's enough to provide that village 682 00:35:47,879 --> 00:35:50,115 with a source of clean water forever. 683 00:35:50,216 --> 00:35:51,116 It's no good to you, 684 00:35:51,217 --> 00:35:53,519 so chuck it in the bin. 685 00:35:53,619 --> 00:35:54,753 ( horn honks ) 686 00:35:54,853 --> 00:35:57,489 Children, give me all your money. 687 00:35:57,589 --> 00:35:59,124 Come on, every copper! 688 00:35:59,225 --> 00:36:00,559 ( horn honks ) 689 00:36:00,659 --> 00:36:02,561 Get out of my way! 690 00:36:02,661 --> 00:36:03,862 Hey, you! 691 00:36:03,962 --> 00:36:05,697 Hey, give me your money. 692 00:36:05,797 --> 00:36:08,334 Come on. Empty your pockets! 693 00:36:09,735 --> 00:36:11,237 ( horn honks ) 694 00:36:11,337 --> 00:36:13,505 Hello. What's your name? 695 00:36:13,605 --> 00:36:14,540 Damian. 696 00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:16,508 Hi, Damian. I'm the bin. 697 00:36:16,608 --> 00:36:17,643 Hello, bin. 698 00:36:17,743 --> 00:36:19,144 Damian, 699 00:36:19,245 --> 00:36:20,846 you'll give me some money, won't you? 700 00:36:25,517 --> 00:36:26,618 Yeah. 701 00:36:32,524 --> 00:36:33,625 ( no audio ) 702 00:36:33,725 --> 00:36:34,793 ( horn honks ) 703 00:36:34,893 --> 00:36:36,262 ( wheels rattling ) 704 00:36:36,362 --> 00:36:37,696 ( children screaming ) 705 00:36:37,796 --> 00:36:38,764 ( horn honks ) 706 00:36:38,864 --> 00:36:40,866 ( laughter ) 707 00:36:42,534 --> 00:36:43,902 ANTHONY: What did you do? 708 00:36:44,002 --> 00:36:45,571 You did it again, didn't you? 709 00:36:45,671 --> 00:36:46,838 What? 710 00:36:46,938 --> 00:36:48,840 I saw what you did. How much? 711 00:36:48,940 --> 00:36:50,576 Not much. 712 00:36:50,676 --> 00:36:51,777 She's nice. 713 00:36:51,877 --> 00:36:53,178 I've been thinking. 714 00:36:53,279 --> 00:36:54,713 Why don't we give the money to her? 715 00:36:54,813 --> 00:36:55,714 So, how did it go? 716 00:36:55,814 --> 00:36:57,316 Well... 717 00:36:58,850 --> 00:37:00,452 ANTHONY: A thousand?! 718 00:37:00,552 --> 00:37:02,854 What did you bring a thousand to school for? 719 00:37:02,954 --> 00:37:04,856 Can't you see that's suspicious? 720 00:37:04,956 --> 00:37:06,792 It's not suspicious. 721 00:37:06,892 --> 00:37:08,460 It's unusual. 722 00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:10,496 How can it be suspicious? 723 00:37:10,596 --> 00:37:11,530 It's our money. 724 00:37:11,630 --> 00:37:12,731 ( door opens ) 725 00:37:12,831 --> 00:37:14,333 TEACHER: Right, you lot, outside. 726 00:37:14,433 --> 00:37:15,501 Come on then. 727 00:37:15,601 --> 00:37:17,269 ANTHONY: Right, that's enough messing around. 728 00:37:17,369 --> 00:37:18,804 Do you know in Africa, you can build a well for... 729 00:37:18,904 --> 00:37:20,205 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 730 00:37:20,306 --> 00:37:21,607 ...as little as a hundred pounds. 731 00:37:21,707 --> 00:37:23,342 Just listen. 732 00:37:28,714 --> 00:37:33,452 It was the most daring, most brilliant, cleverest, 733 00:37:33,852 --> 00:37:35,954 and biggest robbery on record ever. 734 00:37:36,054 --> 00:37:37,956 The train was here. 735 00:37:39,725 --> 00:37:42,894 The train, the one with the money. 736 00:37:42,994 --> 00:37:44,363 Used notes. Right. 737 00:37:44,463 --> 00:37:46,832 A van comes in onto the platform here. 738 00:37:46,932 --> 00:37:51,537 It's a railway van, so no one takes any notice. 739 00:37:52,438 --> 00:37:53,539 Until... 740 00:37:58,744 --> 00:38:00,646 ( brakes screeching ) 741 00:38:03,982 --> 00:38:05,551 They jump out of this van 742 00:38:05,651 --> 00:38:07,386 and someone got hold of the driver. 743 00:38:07,486 --> 00:38:10,456 Some of them start shifting the money. 744 00:38:10,556 --> 00:38:13,725 By this time, Rapid Response has been mobilized. 745 00:38:13,825 --> 00:38:14,760 ( imitates siren ) 746 00:38:14,860 --> 00:38:16,428 ( siren wailing ) 747 00:38:16,528 --> 00:38:21,367 * It's bugging me, grating me 748 00:38:21,467 --> 00:38:25,837 * And twisting me around 749 00:38:25,937 --> 00:38:30,676 * Yeah, I'm endlessly caving in and turning... * 750 00:38:33,679 --> 00:38:34,813 The van drives off 751 00:38:34,913 --> 00:38:36,281 with a reckless disregard for life. 752 00:38:36,382 --> 00:38:39,050 Rapid Response goes after it. 753 00:38:39,150 --> 00:38:41,820 There's armed units, dog handlers, helicopters. 754 00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:44,322 They throw everything after it. 755 00:38:44,423 --> 00:38:45,824 The train stays here. 756 00:38:45,924 --> 00:38:48,694 An ambulance comes. Takes the driver to hospital. 757 00:38:48,794 --> 00:38:50,328 They get another driver. 758 00:38:50,429 --> 00:38:52,398 CID count the bags. 759 00:38:52,498 --> 00:38:54,500 There's only one missing. 760 00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:57,436 Then Rapid Response corner the van. 761 00:38:57,536 --> 00:38:59,705 ( brakes screeching ) 762 00:38:59,805 --> 00:39:01,607 ( sirens wailing ) 763 00:39:04,776 --> 00:39:08,714 Trapped, the robbers drop the lot and they leg it. 764 00:39:08,814 --> 00:39:10,816 They've got no chance. 765 00:39:10,916 --> 00:39:12,451 Except... 766 00:39:12,551 --> 00:39:16,422 Newcastle United versus Arsenal at Highbury. 767 00:39:16,522 --> 00:39:17,589 One all. 768 00:39:17,689 --> 00:39:21,359 Disappointing result for the Gunners. 769 00:39:21,460 --> 00:39:23,429 Please advise car. I think we've lost them. 770 00:39:23,529 --> 00:39:26,532 They don't catch the men, but that's all right. 771 00:39:26,632 --> 00:39:29,901 'Cause when they get back to the van... 772 00:39:30,001 --> 00:39:31,737 there's the missing bag. 773 00:39:32,738 --> 00:39:34,740 How do you... How do you know all that? 774 00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:36,608 His uncle works for the police. 775 00:39:36,708 --> 00:39:38,910 The van is gone, the train is in the station 776 00:39:39,010 --> 00:39:42,047 and the cops are in the cop shop making tea. 777 00:39:42,147 --> 00:39:43,849 Where were the robbers? 778 00:39:45,851 --> 00:39:47,986 Where's the last place you're going to look? 779 00:39:48,086 --> 00:39:49,488 Our house. 780 00:39:49,588 --> 00:39:51,056 Maybe. 781 00:39:51,156 --> 00:39:54,760 So the train moves off with a new driver and all the money. 782 00:39:54,860 --> 00:39:55,794 On the train. 783 00:39:55,894 --> 00:39:57,463 The money was on the train. 784 00:39:57,563 --> 00:39:58,630 And so was a robber. 785 00:39:58,730 --> 00:40:00,932 NARRATOR: Lateral thinking. 786 00:40:03,802 --> 00:40:05,637 The money stays on the train 787 00:40:05,737 --> 00:40:07,706 and so does a robber. 788 00:40:07,806 --> 00:40:11,810 * ...And don't 789 00:40:14,145 --> 00:40:18,484 * Fool yourself 790 00:40:22,821 --> 00:40:27,559 * This love's too good to last... * 791 00:40:28,159 --> 00:40:30,061 He sits tight and every time the train 792 00:40:30,161 --> 00:40:33,665 comes to a slow bend, he chucks a sack of money out. 793 00:40:33,765 --> 00:40:37,669 They've got people waiting all over the country. 794 00:40:37,769 --> 00:40:39,004 It could be Stafford or Crewe. 795 00:40:39,104 --> 00:40:42,440 It could be Preston or Wigan. 796 00:40:42,541 --> 00:40:43,942 Runcorn, it could be. 797 00:40:44,042 --> 00:40:46,044 Or it could be here. 798 00:40:46,144 --> 00:40:50,849 * ...This life could be the last * 799 00:40:53,785 --> 00:40:58,490 * And we're too young to see 800 00:41:00,759 --> 00:41:05,463 * Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh 801 00:41:05,564 --> 00:41:08,767 * Ooh. 802 00:41:12,838 --> 00:41:14,840 ( music ends ) 803 00:41:19,310 --> 00:41:20,679 Damian. 804 00:41:20,779 --> 00:41:22,447 Damian, calm down. 805 00:41:22,548 --> 00:41:23,715 It'll be all right. 806 00:41:23,815 --> 00:41:25,717 No one knows it was us. 807 00:41:25,817 --> 00:41:27,686 I don't care. Leave me alone. 808 00:41:27,786 --> 00:41:29,154 What'd you have to tell me for? 809 00:41:29,254 --> 00:41:31,557 Because I wanted you to know the truth. 810 00:41:31,657 --> 00:41:33,224 We have to give it back. 811 00:41:33,324 --> 00:41:34,960 No. No, we can't do that. 812 00:41:35,060 --> 00:41:37,128 They were going to burn it. 813 00:41:37,228 --> 00:41:38,864 Now, come on, it isn't 814 00:41:38,964 --> 00:41:40,599 the money's fault it got stolen. 815 00:41:40,699 --> 00:41:43,869 I thought it was from God. 816 00:41:43,969 --> 00:41:45,136 What? Well, you know, 817 00:41:45,236 --> 00:41:47,205 sometimes you tell people about Mum 818 00:41:47,305 --> 00:41:49,741 and they give you money or sweets. 819 00:41:49,841 --> 00:41:51,009 Well, I told God and... 820 00:41:51,109 --> 00:41:54,479 Well, who else would have that kind of money? 821 00:41:54,580 --> 00:41:56,081 Well, in a funny... 822 00:41:56,181 --> 00:41:59,017 God doesn't rob banks. All right? 823 00:41:59,117 --> 00:42:01,019 God does not rob banks. 824 00:42:01,119 --> 00:42:03,054 ( door slams ) 825 00:42:05,256 --> 00:42:06,858 Office. 826 00:42:07,893 --> 00:42:09,494 Now. 827 00:42:09,595 --> 00:42:11,863 Your father's on his way. 828 00:42:18,604 --> 00:42:19,938 ( knocks ) 829 00:42:20,038 --> 00:42:21,272 HEADMASTER: Come in. 830 00:42:25,343 --> 00:42:26,645 The Mormons?! 831 00:42:28,379 --> 00:42:30,048 RONNIE: You stole money from Mormons? 832 00:42:30,148 --> 00:42:33,952 Would you like to tell us why you did it, Anthony? 833 00:42:40,659 --> 00:42:42,694 Our mum's dead. 834 00:42:42,794 --> 00:42:45,631 ( sobbing ) 835 00:42:45,731 --> 00:42:48,934 ( sniffling loudly ) 836 00:42:49,034 --> 00:42:51,202 ( sobbing and sniffling ) 837 00:42:51,302 --> 00:42:53,171 Hey, hey, hey, Anthony, come here. 838 00:42:53,271 --> 00:42:56,107 Hol... Anthony, Damian, come here. 839 00:42:58,644 --> 00:42:59,978 Okay. 840 00:43:00,078 --> 00:43:01,579 Team talk. 841 00:43:03,949 --> 00:43:05,583 Your mother... 842 00:43:06,785 --> 00:43:08,954 She would not want you 843 00:43:09,054 --> 00:43:10,689 to stand around crying. 844 00:43:10,789 --> 00:43:12,724 Or to steal things. 845 00:43:13,959 --> 00:43:16,695 She wants you to get on with your lives 846 00:43:16,795 --> 00:43:18,129 and do the best you can. 847 00:43:18,229 --> 00:43:20,331 Make her proud, son, eh? 848 00:43:21,667 --> 00:43:23,268 And not, you know... 849 00:43:24,803 --> 00:43:25,937 cry. 850 00:43:30,175 --> 00:43:31,109 Okay. 851 00:43:31,209 --> 00:43:32,678 So let's stop crying, eh? 852 00:43:32,778 --> 00:43:34,646 And stealing things, let's stop that, too. 853 00:43:34,746 --> 00:43:36,181 Get in the car. 854 00:43:42,888 --> 00:43:46,324 Don't ever do that to me again. 855 00:43:46,424 --> 00:43:48,894 Look, I'm really sorry. It was me. 856 00:43:48,994 --> 00:43:51,096 I didn't mean to cause any trouble or anything. 857 00:43:51,196 --> 00:43:52,597 No, you did right. 858 00:43:52,698 --> 00:43:53,765 They stole it. 859 00:43:53,865 --> 00:43:55,100 What could you do? 860 00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:57,602 WOMAN: They did give it to a good cause. 861 00:43:57,703 --> 00:43:59,805 I wouldn't have done that at their age. 862 00:43:59,905 --> 00:44:02,073 They must be... 863 00:44:02,173 --> 00:44:03,775 You did a good job. 864 00:44:05,376 --> 00:44:06,678 Thanks. 865 00:44:12,117 --> 00:44:13,719 Are you from the social? 866 00:44:13,819 --> 00:44:16,154 No. I was just a visitor. 867 00:44:16,254 --> 00:44:18,023 I go around the schools collecting for this water thing 868 00:44:18,123 --> 00:44:19,825 and try and tell them about the changeover. 869 00:44:19,925 --> 00:44:22,627 You know, making sure that the kids understand it. 870 00:44:22,728 --> 00:44:24,129 Does anyone understand it? 871 00:44:24,229 --> 00:44:26,832 Sometimes they're a bit confused until I talk to them. 872 00:44:26,932 --> 00:44:28,033 And then... 873 00:44:28,133 --> 00:44:30,635 BOTH: They're really confused. 874 00:44:30,736 --> 00:44:31,703 ( laughs ) 875 00:44:34,740 --> 00:44:35,907 RONNIE: I'm sorry. 876 00:44:36,007 --> 00:44:37,408 They are very sorry. 877 00:44:37,508 --> 00:44:38,777 I've sent them to bed. 878 00:44:38,877 --> 00:44:41,847 I want you to know that it won't happen again. 879 00:44:41,947 --> 00:44:43,314 MAN: Do you mind me asking 880 00:44:43,414 --> 00:44:46,151 how you came to have so much cash in the house? 881 00:44:46,251 --> 00:44:47,986 It was a donation. 882 00:44:48,086 --> 00:44:49,420 It was left here anonymously. 883 00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:52,057 And you weren't suspicious about that? 884 00:44:52,157 --> 00:44:53,091 No. 885 00:44:53,191 --> 00:44:54,692 We pray a lot, 886 00:44:54,793 --> 00:44:57,162 and we thought it was the answer to our prayers. 887 00:44:57,262 --> 00:44:58,696 Only it has been mentioned 888 00:44:58,797 --> 00:45:01,833 that you spent close to £5,000 in Comet 889 00:45:01,933 --> 00:45:04,035 a few days ago. 890 00:45:04,135 --> 00:45:05,804 Digital television. 891 00:45:05,904 --> 00:45:07,105 ( bell dings ) 892 00:45:07,205 --> 00:45:09,107 Microwave oven. 893 00:45:09,207 --> 00:45:11,242 Dishwasher. 894 00:45:12,778 --> 00:45:13,879 Foot spa. 895 00:45:15,213 --> 00:45:18,683 Did you actually pray for all of these things? 896 00:45:18,784 --> 00:45:21,452 We were praying 897 00:45:21,552 --> 00:45:23,955 for comfort and, uh, and encouragement. 898 00:45:24,055 --> 00:45:27,125 I think we felt comforted and encouraged. 899 00:45:27,225 --> 00:45:28,193 By the foot spa? 900 00:45:28,293 --> 00:45:30,796 And the dishwasher. 901 00:45:32,063 --> 00:45:33,765 Mm-hmm. 902 00:45:33,865 --> 00:45:37,168 Samaritans. 903 00:45:37,268 --> 00:45:38,937 Oxfam. 904 00:45:39,037 --> 00:45:40,105 Christian Aid. 905 00:45:40,205 --> 00:45:42,707 For Christ's sake, don't tick them little boxes. 906 00:45:42,808 --> 00:45:43,775 The ones about 907 00:45:43,875 --> 00:45:44,910 putting you in touch 908 00:45:45,010 --> 00:45:46,211 with like-minded organizations. 909 00:45:46,311 --> 00:45:47,278 You'd be besieged, 910 00:45:47,378 --> 00:45:48,713 man, I'm telling you. 911 00:45:48,814 --> 00:45:51,249 Saint Peter, died AD 64. 912 00:45:51,349 --> 00:45:53,151 All right, don't remind us. 913 00:45:53,251 --> 00:45:55,486 The money-- it is robbed. 914 00:45:55,586 --> 00:45:57,155 I know. 915 00:45:57,255 --> 00:46:00,859 Patron Saint of keys, locks and general security, man. 916 00:46:00,959 --> 00:46:03,228 Including up there. 917 00:46:03,328 --> 00:46:04,863 I'm on the door. 918 00:46:04,963 --> 00:46:08,299 Is it still all right if it's robbed? 919 00:46:08,399 --> 00:46:10,301 Can you still do good with it? 920 00:46:10,401 --> 00:46:12,303 Or should you give it back? 921 00:46:12,403 --> 00:46:13,839 I thought it was 922 00:46:13,939 --> 00:46:16,174 a miracle, but it's just robbed. 923 00:46:16,274 --> 00:46:17,475 Damian, 924 00:46:17,575 --> 00:46:19,077 listen. 925 00:46:19,177 --> 00:46:22,413 One day, I was with you-know-who. 926 00:46:22,513 --> 00:46:23,815 Jesus. 927 00:46:23,915 --> 00:46:25,984 And he went up into the mountains, 928 00:46:26,084 --> 00:46:28,419 and thousands of people followed him. 929 00:46:28,519 --> 00:46:30,922 The police said 5,000. 930 00:46:31,022 --> 00:46:32,223 5,000! 931 00:46:32,323 --> 00:46:34,325 Everybody knows this story. 932 00:46:34,425 --> 00:46:35,994 Loaves and fishes. 933 00:46:36,094 --> 00:46:37,863 See, I knew you'd say that. 934 00:46:37,963 --> 00:46:39,831 That's what everybody says. 935 00:46:42,968 --> 00:46:44,769 This yours? 936 00:46:44,870 --> 00:46:46,171 It's the key 937 00:46:46,271 --> 00:46:47,906 to the old house. 938 00:46:48,006 --> 00:46:49,941 Joint pin tumbler. 939 00:46:50,041 --> 00:46:52,177 Engineering perfection. 940 00:46:52,277 --> 00:46:56,081 Anyway, this kid comes up to us, 941 00:46:56,181 --> 00:46:57,248 about your size. 942 00:46:57,348 --> 00:46:58,783 His name was... 943 00:46:58,884 --> 00:47:00,018 No, I've forgotten. 944 00:47:00,118 --> 00:47:01,920 I still see him sometimes. 945 00:47:02,020 --> 00:47:05,123 Anyway, he comes up with these loaves and fishes. 946 00:47:05,223 --> 00:47:06,824 Sardines. 947 00:47:06,925 --> 00:47:08,426 And Jesus blesses them 948 00:47:08,526 --> 00:47:10,295 and passes the plate 'round. 949 00:47:10,395 --> 00:47:14,065 Now the first person he passes it to passes it on. 950 00:47:14,165 --> 00:47:15,800 He doesn't take anything. 951 00:47:15,901 --> 00:47:17,302 He just passes it on. 952 00:47:17,402 --> 00:47:19,170 Do you know why? 953 00:47:19,270 --> 00:47:21,806 'Cause he had a piece of lamb 954 00:47:21,907 --> 00:47:23,074 hidden in his pocket. 955 00:47:23,174 --> 00:47:24,809 And as he's passing the fish, 956 00:47:24,910 --> 00:47:26,844 he sneaks a bit of meat out 957 00:47:26,945 --> 00:47:28,479 and pretends he's taking it off the plate. 958 00:47:28,579 --> 00:47:29,814 You see what I'm saying? 959 00:47:29,915 --> 00:47:32,951 And the next person-- exactly 960 00:47:33,051 --> 00:47:34,085 the same story. 961 00:47:34,185 --> 00:47:35,486 Every single bastard one 962 00:47:35,586 --> 00:47:37,188 of them has their own food. 963 00:47:37,288 --> 00:47:39,390 And every one of them's keeping it quiet. 964 00:47:39,490 --> 00:47:42,460 Looking after number one. 965 00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:46,831 But as that plate went 'round with the sardines on, 966 00:47:46,932 --> 00:47:48,833 they all got their food out 967 00:47:48,934 --> 00:47:51,069 and started to share. 968 00:47:51,169 --> 00:47:54,505 And that-that plate went all the way around 969 00:47:54,605 --> 00:47:55,974 and back to Jesus, 970 00:47:56,074 --> 00:47:58,977 and it still got the fish and the loaves in it. 971 00:47:59,077 --> 00:48:01,512 And Jesus was a bit taken aback. 972 00:48:01,612 --> 00:48:03,881 He says... 973 00:48:03,982 --> 00:48:05,583 "What happened?" 974 00:48:05,683 --> 00:48:07,285 And I just said, "Miracle." 975 00:48:07,385 --> 00:48:10,455 And at first, I thought I'd fooled him. 976 00:48:12,157 --> 00:48:14,926 But now I see it was a miracle. 977 00:48:15,026 --> 00:48:18,063 One of his best. 978 00:48:18,163 --> 00:48:21,432 But this little kid that stood up, and 979 00:48:21,532 --> 00:48:25,036 everybody there just got bigger. 980 00:48:28,506 --> 00:48:30,608 Do you understand what I'm talking about? 981 00:48:30,708 --> 00:48:33,178 Not really. 982 00:48:34,645 --> 00:48:36,281 I'm talking about you. 983 00:48:36,381 --> 00:48:38,516 Now I'm really lost. 984 00:48:38,616 --> 00:48:40,418 You're trying too hard. 985 00:48:40,518 --> 00:48:44,289 That kid-- he wasn't planning on doing a miracle. 986 00:48:44,389 --> 00:48:47,325 He wasn't planning anything, except lunch. 987 00:48:47,425 --> 00:48:49,627 Something that looks like a miracle turns out 988 00:48:49,727 --> 00:48:51,362 to be dead simple. 989 00:48:51,462 --> 00:48:54,932 But what am I gonna do with all this? 990 00:48:56,701 --> 00:48:59,637 I just want to be good. 991 00:48:59,737 --> 00:49:02,207 Look, I can't say too much about this 992 00:49:02,307 --> 00:49:06,211 because of that whole free will thing, right? 993 00:49:06,311 --> 00:49:07,445 But... 994 00:49:10,748 --> 00:49:13,051 see this key? 995 00:49:13,151 --> 00:49:16,054 Keep it safe, all right? 996 00:49:20,191 --> 00:49:22,360 And I'll have a word upstairs... 997 00:49:24,195 --> 00:49:27,565 see if can get somebody on your case more permanent. 998 00:49:27,665 --> 00:49:30,268 * Hark! How the bells, sweet silver bells... * 999 00:49:30,368 --> 00:49:35,006 With three days left to E-day, my true love said to me... 1000 00:49:35,106 --> 00:49:38,476 Convert your change or donate to charity. 1001 00:49:38,576 --> 00:49:41,346 Mm. Marvelous. 1002 00:49:41,446 --> 00:49:43,348 There are just three days left to E-day. 1003 00:49:43,448 --> 00:49:45,183 Remember the money in your bank account 1004 00:49:45,283 --> 00:49:46,617 has already been converted. 1005 00:49:46,717 --> 00:49:49,354 The easiest way to change any cash you have 1006 00:49:49,454 --> 00:49:51,189 is to pay it into your account. 1007 00:49:51,289 --> 00:49:53,991 Sterling becomes euros the moment it's paid in. 1008 00:49:54,092 --> 00:49:55,693 And if you don't have an account, 1009 00:49:55,793 --> 00:49:57,028 why not open one today? 1010 00:49:57,128 --> 00:49:58,463 WOMAN: Can I help you all? 1011 00:49:58,563 --> 00:50:00,131 We'd like to open a bank account. 1012 00:50:00,231 --> 00:50:01,199 Is your mum and dad with you? 1013 00:50:01,299 --> 00:50:02,333 No. Well, 1014 00:50:02,433 --> 00:50:03,434 I need an adult signature. 1015 00:50:03,534 --> 00:50:05,303 I need proof of who you are. 1016 00:50:05,403 --> 00:50:06,437 Oh, I've got that. 1017 00:50:06,537 --> 00:50:08,239 Leisure pass. 1018 00:50:10,175 --> 00:50:12,510 I'm afraid you're gonna have to ask your mum to come in. 1019 00:50:12,610 --> 00:50:13,644 This isn't enough. 1020 00:50:13,744 --> 00:50:15,080 Just ask your mum to come in. 1021 00:50:15,180 --> 00:50:16,181 We can't. 1022 00:50:16,281 --> 00:50:18,416 Why not? 1023 00:50:18,516 --> 00:50:21,018 Our mum's dead. 1024 00:50:29,427 --> 00:50:31,062 There's two free euros in here. 1025 00:50:31,162 --> 00:50:35,533 And you can keep the rest of your money in it. 1026 00:50:35,633 --> 00:50:38,069 It's the best I can do. 1027 00:50:41,706 --> 00:50:43,108 ( sighs ) 1028 00:50:43,208 --> 00:50:45,009 I told you we should have bought a house. 1029 00:50:45,110 --> 00:50:49,547 Right. If we can't hide it, at least we can spend it. 1030 00:50:49,647 --> 00:50:52,049 ( sirens blaring, horns honking ) 1031 00:50:53,518 --> 00:50:55,653 ( phone ringing ) 1032 00:50:55,753 --> 00:50:57,088 DAMIAN: Hello? 1033 00:50:57,188 --> 00:50:58,356 ANTHONY: Now, that is quality. 1034 00:50:58,456 --> 00:51:00,291 That is amazing. I can see you. 1035 00:51:00,391 --> 00:51:01,359 Can you see me? 1036 00:51:01,459 --> 00:51:02,693 Yeah. 1037 00:51:02,793 --> 00:51:04,229 Not here, on there. 1038 00:51:04,329 --> 00:51:05,596 Not as well. 1039 00:51:05,696 --> 00:51:07,232 I can see you in mine. 1040 00:51:07,332 --> 00:51:08,299 This is fantastic. 1041 00:51:08,399 --> 00:51:09,800 Anthony, 1042 00:51:09,900 --> 00:51:12,036 why don't we give the money to the lady with the bank? 1043 00:51:12,137 --> 00:51:14,239 It's not ours, and we're never gonna spend it all. 1044 00:51:14,339 --> 00:51:15,573 She could do good with it. 1045 00:51:15,673 --> 00:51:16,774 We just gave her 1046 00:51:16,874 --> 00:51:19,076 a grand and look at the trouble it caused. 1047 00:51:19,177 --> 00:51:21,812 And if we gave her 200, we'll end up in jail. 1048 00:51:21,912 --> 00:51:24,515 We're on our now, Damian. 1049 00:51:24,615 --> 00:51:27,452 Don't let me down. 1050 00:51:27,552 --> 00:51:29,220 ( whirring ) 1051 00:51:38,929 --> 00:51:40,531 Hello. 1052 00:51:40,631 --> 00:51:42,200 The speaker went on my bin. 1053 00:51:42,300 --> 00:51:43,734 Your dad he'd fix it, so I said I'd 1054 00:51:43,834 --> 00:51:45,069 cook for him. 1055 00:51:45,170 --> 00:51:47,205 So you get a decent meal for once. 1056 00:51:47,305 --> 00:51:48,673 I'm a fantastic cook. 1057 00:51:48,773 --> 00:51:51,075 Aren't I a fantastic cook, Damian? 1058 00:51:51,176 --> 00:51:53,344 Look at the size of that schoolbag. 1059 00:51:53,444 --> 00:51:54,612 You'll give yourselves 1060 00:51:54,712 --> 00:51:56,214 a hernia. Is that all homework? 1061 00:51:56,314 --> 00:51:57,482 No. Yeah. 1062 00:51:57,582 --> 00:51:59,517 And costumes. 1063 00:51:59,617 --> 00:52:00,685 For the Nativity play. 1064 00:52:00,785 --> 00:52:02,620 I suppose it's homework really. 1065 00:52:02,720 --> 00:52:03,754 Oh, I love a Nativity play. 1066 00:52:03,854 --> 00:52:05,223 Can I see them? 1067 00:52:05,323 --> 00:52:06,491 Yeah. No. 1068 00:52:06,591 --> 00:52:08,459 It's private. 1069 00:52:08,559 --> 00:52:09,727 Private property. 1070 00:52:09,827 --> 00:52:10,861 Of the school. 1071 00:52:10,961 --> 00:52:12,297 It'll spoil the surprise. 1072 00:52:12,397 --> 00:52:13,364 Am I gonna go, too? 1073 00:52:13,464 --> 00:52:16,167 Are you gonna get me some tickets? 1074 00:52:16,267 --> 00:52:17,435 Well, I suppose so. 1075 00:52:17,535 --> 00:52:19,237 Well, I didn't even know 1076 00:52:19,337 --> 00:52:20,338 they were in it. 1077 00:52:20,438 --> 00:52:22,273 I got told nothing, you know, nothing. 1078 00:52:22,373 --> 00:52:23,508 ( laughs ) 1079 00:52:23,608 --> 00:52:24,875 Are you gonna come do some chopping? 1080 00:52:24,975 --> 00:52:27,278 RONNIE: It's lasagna, your favorite. 1081 00:52:28,346 --> 00:52:32,149 ( hums ) 1082 00:52:32,250 --> 00:52:34,785 MALE TV HOST: Where was the highwayman Dick Turpin hanged in 1739? 1083 00:52:35,486 --> 00:52:36,521 It's worth 250,000 pounds. 1084 00:52:36,621 --> 00:52:37,688 York. 1085 00:52:37,788 --> 00:52:39,156 How did you know that? 1086 00:52:39,257 --> 00:52:40,191 It's York. 1087 00:52:40,291 --> 00:52:41,792 Glasgow, Carlisle... 1088 00:52:41,892 --> 00:52:43,194 He knows everything, your dad. 1089 00:52:43,294 --> 00:52:44,529 Norwich, York. 1090 00:52:44,629 --> 00:52:45,896 Why don't you go on there? You'd be great. 1091 00:52:45,996 --> 00:52:47,198 Wouldn't he be great? 1092 00:52:47,298 --> 00:52:48,233 MALE CONTESTANT: 50/50 please... 1093 00:52:48,333 --> 00:52:49,467 It's York! 1094 00:52:49,567 --> 00:52:50,868 HOST: Okay, completely take away... 1095 00:52:50,968 --> 00:52:52,503 You'd be a lot less frustrated if you went on yourself. 1096 00:52:52,603 --> 00:52:53,671 Damian, tell him to go on. 1097 00:52:53,771 --> 00:52:55,139 You'd like to have a million pounds, 1098 00:52:55,240 --> 00:52:56,407 wouldn't you? 1099 00:52:56,507 --> 00:52:57,908 It's not a million pounds. 1100 00:52:58,008 --> 00:52:59,410 It's a million euros. 1101 00:52:59,510 --> 00:53:00,445 That's only about... 1102 00:53:00,545 --> 00:53:01,546 HOST: Not York? 1103 00:53:01,646 --> 00:53:03,147 CONTESTANT: No... 1104 00:53:03,248 --> 00:53:06,251 623,100 pounds at today's prices. 1105 00:53:06,351 --> 00:53:08,386 Well, at least somebody's been listening. 1106 00:53:08,486 --> 00:53:09,854 HOST: You just lost 93... 1107 00:53:09,954 --> 00:53:11,656 Told you it was York. 1108 00:53:11,756 --> 00:53:14,492 Jim, I'm so sorry. The answer is York. 1109 00:53:16,261 --> 00:53:19,230 We're supposed to go to bed when this is finished. 1110 00:53:19,330 --> 00:53:20,298 ( sighs ) 1111 00:53:20,398 --> 00:53:21,632 Yeah, right, go to bed. 1112 00:53:21,732 --> 00:53:24,535 But you're supposed to read us a story. 1113 00:53:27,037 --> 00:53:28,205 I'll get off. 1114 00:53:28,306 --> 00:53:29,274 I'll see you out. 1115 00:53:29,374 --> 00:53:30,775 I'll see you out, too. 1116 00:53:33,978 --> 00:53:35,480 I know. 1117 00:53:40,951 --> 00:53:42,320 Come again soon. 1118 00:53:42,420 --> 00:53:43,954 Sucker for women. 1119 00:53:44,054 --> 00:53:45,623 Sucker for men. 1120 00:53:49,294 --> 00:53:50,361 WOMAN: Don't forget: 1121 00:53:50,461 --> 00:53:51,429 I want to see that Nativity play. 1122 00:53:51,529 --> 00:53:53,197 Your dad'll forget. 1123 00:53:53,298 --> 00:53:54,432 Go get your pajamas on. 1124 00:53:54,532 --> 00:53:55,933 They're good lads. 1125 00:53:56,033 --> 00:53:58,603 Nice to have someone to talk to once in a while, though. 1126 00:53:58,703 --> 00:53:59,837 Yeah. 1127 00:54:00,338 --> 00:54:01,472 Thanks. 1128 00:54:02,039 --> 00:54:03,608 Had a great evening. 1129 00:54:03,708 --> 00:54:05,610 I know what's she after. 1130 00:54:05,710 --> 00:54:07,312 We can't leave it here. 1131 00:54:07,412 --> 00:54:09,880 We're gonna have to keep it with us... 1132 00:54:09,980 --> 00:54:10,915 all the time. 1133 00:54:11,015 --> 00:54:13,451 Fill your schoolbag. 1134 00:54:13,551 --> 00:54:15,486 Don't let it out your sight. 1135 00:54:15,586 --> 00:54:17,288 Guard it with your life, 1136 00:54:17,388 --> 00:54:18,723 whatever happens, okay? 1137 00:54:18,823 --> 00:54:19,757 Okay. 1138 00:54:19,857 --> 00:54:20,958 Damian. 1139 00:54:21,959 --> 00:54:23,828 ( whispering ): "Have you any room?" 1140 00:54:23,928 --> 00:54:28,265 Have you any room? No, Damian, Damian... 1141 00:54:28,366 --> 00:54:29,767 he's tired. 1142 00:54:29,867 --> 00:54:31,669 He's walked here all the way from Nazareth. 1143 00:54:31,769 --> 00:54:33,504 He's tired. He's very, very tired. 1144 00:54:33,604 --> 00:54:34,539 Well... 1145 00:54:34,639 --> 00:54:36,474 Tired. The walk from Nazareth-- 1146 00:54:36,574 --> 00:54:38,643 people did that all the time. 1147 00:54:38,743 --> 00:54:41,379 And he was a carpenter, so he was very fit. 1148 00:54:41,479 --> 00:54:43,981 He wasn't tired. He was excited. 1149 00:54:44,081 --> 00:54:45,650 His wife was going to have a baby. 1150 00:54:45,750 --> 00:54:47,518 They weren't expecting to go to sleep... Okay. 1151 00:54:47,618 --> 00:54:51,288 You say excited. I say tired. 1152 00:54:51,389 --> 00:54:53,424 Let's try nervous... okay? 1153 00:54:53,524 --> 00:54:55,059 Shall we start again? 1154 00:55:14,011 --> 00:55:17,748 Joseph the Worker, first century, dates uncertain. 1155 00:55:17,848 --> 00:55:20,418 I wouldn't have said "nervous." 1156 00:55:20,518 --> 00:55:23,020 I would have said "focused." 1157 00:55:34,999 --> 00:55:36,701 DAMIAN: Well, have you any room? 1158 00:55:36,801 --> 00:55:37,868 Hmm. 1159 00:55:40,571 --> 00:55:42,973 What did he want to bring her for? 1160 00:55:43,073 --> 00:55:44,509 You invited her. 1161 00:55:48,846 --> 00:55:50,515 TEACHER: Beginners, beginners positions. 1162 00:55:50,615 --> 00:55:51,749 Damian, come on. 1163 00:55:57,455 --> 00:55:58,589 ( door creaks ) 1164 00:56:01,826 --> 00:56:04,995 The word went out from Julius Caesar... 1165 00:56:05,095 --> 00:56:07,331 Caesar... 1166 00:56:07,432 --> 00:56:09,567 Caesar Augustus that everybody 1167 00:56:09,667 --> 00:56:12,737 had to go to their hometown to be taxed, 1168 00:56:12,837 --> 00:56:16,974 so Mary and Joseph set out for Bethlehem. 1169 00:56:17,074 --> 00:56:21,045 ( piano playing ) 1170 00:56:21,145 --> 00:56:25,616 CHILDREN ( singing ): * Little donkey, little donkey 1171 00:56:26,684 --> 00:56:29,654 * On the dusty road... 1172 00:56:29,754 --> 00:56:32,423 Do you know how much a piece of gold that big 1173 00:56:32,523 --> 00:56:34,492 would be worth at today's prices? 1174 00:56:34,592 --> 00:56:35,926 A lot. An awful lot. 1175 00:56:36,026 --> 00:56:37,662 I wonder what happened to it, 1176 00:56:37,762 --> 00:56:38,929 'cause he was poor after that. 1177 00:56:39,029 --> 00:56:40,765 I wonder what he spent it on... 1178 00:56:40,865 --> 00:56:44,034 Can we please lose the anachronistic bag? 1179 00:56:44,134 --> 00:56:45,369 I don't think we had Adidas 1180 00:56:45,470 --> 00:56:46,904 in the first century. 1181 00:56:47,004 --> 00:56:51,742 NARRATOR: Far away to the East, three wise men saw a star. 1182 00:56:52,042 --> 00:56:53,410 Thanks, girls. 1183 00:56:53,511 --> 00:56:54,512 ANTHONY: Look, a star. 1184 00:56:54,612 --> 00:56:55,746 BOY: Let's follow it. 1185 00:56:57,582 --> 00:57:00,518 * Come, they told me 1186 00:57:00,618 --> 00:57:03,788 * Pa-rum-pa-pa-pum 1187 00:57:04,755 --> 00:57:07,124 * A newborn king to see 1188 00:57:07,224 --> 00:57:10,695 * Pa-rum-pa-pa-pum... 1189 00:57:17,034 --> 00:57:19,904 DAMIAN: No, Saint Maureen. 1190 00:57:20,004 --> 00:57:21,672 I don't think I've heard of her. 1191 00:57:21,772 --> 00:57:24,542 Um, is she a virgin martyr? 1192 00:57:24,642 --> 00:57:25,676 DAMIAN: I don't think so. 1193 00:57:25,776 --> 00:57:26,877 ( gasps ) 1194 00:57:28,178 --> 00:57:30,047 MAN: Tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk. 1195 00:57:32,182 --> 00:57:33,618 Here he is, 1196 00:57:33,718 --> 00:57:35,653 and he's always got those bags with him. 1197 00:57:35,753 --> 00:57:37,822 * Pum-pa-pa-pum. 1198 00:57:40,024 --> 00:57:41,025 You remember me? 1199 00:57:42,192 --> 00:57:43,494 Mm? 1200 00:57:44,061 --> 00:57:45,730 I'm the poor man. 1201 00:57:45,830 --> 00:57:46,831 ( door bangs open ) 1202 00:57:46,931 --> 00:57:49,634 ( kids laughing ) 1203 00:57:49,734 --> 00:57:50,901 Damian Cunningham, 1204 00:57:51,001 --> 00:57:51,936 what are you doing there? 1205 00:57:52,036 --> 00:57:54,138 Come on, where should you be? 1206 00:57:54,238 --> 00:57:55,806 Where should you be? You should be in Bethlehem. 1207 00:57:55,906 --> 00:57:57,575 Come on. Can't believe you got... 1208 00:57:57,675 --> 00:57:59,544 No, go back, go back. 1209 00:57:59,644 --> 00:58:01,546 As for these... 1210 00:58:01,646 --> 00:58:03,113 What have I told you about these? 1211 00:58:03,213 --> 00:58:04,582 I told you before... Shh! 1212 00:58:04,682 --> 00:58:06,584 Back up, back up, back up. 1213 00:58:06,684 --> 00:58:08,619 Shh! Back up, back up. 1214 00:58:08,719 --> 00:58:12,623 NARRATOR: They tried first at one inn. 1215 00:58:12,723 --> 00:58:13,991 Do you have any room at this inn? 1216 00:58:14,091 --> 00:58:15,993 No, sorry, we're fully booked. 1217 00:58:16,093 --> 00:58:19,029 Do you have any room at this inn? 1218 00:58:19,129 --> 00:58:20,865 We haven't any room, but we've got a stable. 1219 00:58:20,965 --> 00:58:22,933 ( audience chuckles ) 1220 00:58:27,705 --> 00:58:30,007 NARRATOR: So he took them to the stable. 1221 00:58:30,107 --> 00:58:33,811 Oh, this is nice and cozy, Joseph. 1222 00:58:35,646 --> 00:58:36,581 ( slams door ) 1223 00:58:36,681 --> 00:58:38,282 Nice and cozy, Joseph. 1224 00:58:40,985 --> 00:58:42,787 I said, 1225 00:58:42,887 --> 00:58:45,890 this is nice and cozy, Joseph. 1226 00:58:45,990 --> 00:58:48,292 ( whispering ): Damian! Damian! 1227 00:58:49,994 --> 00:58:52,897 Yes, this is where our Lord, 1228 00:58:52,997 --> 00:58:56,701 baby Jesus, will be born. 1229 00:58:56,801 --> 00:59:01,505 NARRATOR: And so our savior came, bringing peace to all the Earth. 1230 00:59:01,606 --> 00:59:06,076 * Silent night... 1231 00:59:06,176 --> 00:59:07,912 Quick, come on. 1232 00:59:09,880 --> 00:59:13,050 ( applause ) 1233 01:00:13,143 --> 01:00:16,881 ( keys jingling ) 1234 01:00:26,423 --> 01:00:27,892 You stay there. 1235 01:00:28,726 --> 01:00:30,294 ( locks door ) 1236 01:01:06,130 --> 01:01:07,431 ( grunts ) 1237 01:01:36,026 --> 01:01:37,962 ( doorbell buzzing ) 1238 01:01:38,062 --> 01:01:39,263 ( gasps ) 1239 01:01:41,465 --> 01:01:44,301 Oh, no. The keys. 1240 01:01:44,401 --> 01:01:46,971 ( panting ) 1241 01:02:02,052 --> 01:02:03,487 ( door closes ) 1242 01:02:05,790 --> 01:02:08,425 ( panting ) 1243 01:02:08,525 --> 01:02:11,395 ( banging ) 1244 01:02:35,585 --> 01:02:37,387 ( phone ringing ) 1245 01:02:37,487 --> 01:02:39,323 ( gasps ): Oh, no! 1246 01:02:50,935 --> 01:02:53,270 ( screaming ) 1247 01:02:53,370 --> 01:02:54,738 Damian?! 1248 01:02:54,839 --> 01:02:55,873 What are you doing? Dad! 1249 01:02:55,973 --> 01:02:58,242 Come here. Oh, God, come here. 1250 01:02:58,342 --> 01:02:59,810 Come here. It's all right. 1251 01:02:59,910 --> 01:03:02,112 Let's get you down. What were you doing? 1252 01:03:02,212 --> 01:03:03,313 ANTHONY: Is he all right, Dad? 1253 01:03:03,413 --> 01:03:05,282 There we go. What's he doing? 1254 01:03:13,290 --> 01:03:15,025 Well, he found it. 1255 01:03:15,125 --> 01:03:18,896 It just fell out of the sky right in front of me. 1256 01:03:18,996 --> 01:03:22,833 I thought it was from God. 1257 01:03:22,933 --> 01:03:24,902 From God? 1258 01:03:25,002 --> 01:03:28,873 It's not really His thing, is it, handing out cash? 1259 01:03:28,973 --> 01:03:30,474 Why would God hand out...? 1260 01:03:32,409 --> 01:03:36,380 £229,320. 1261 01:03:40,617 --> 01:03:41,952 Blimey. 1262 01:03:42,052 --> 01:03:44,088 I was going to give it to the poor, 1263 01:03:44,188 --> 01:03:46,423 but it was really hard. 1264 01:03:48,425 --> 01:03:49,493 Why didn't you tell me? 1265 01:03:49,593 --> 01:03:53,597 Anthony said not to because of the tax. 1266 01:03:55,565 --> 01:03:57,101 We could keep some of it, though, 1267 01:03:57,201 --> 01:03:58,268 couldn't we, like a reward? 1268 01:03:58,368 --> 01:03:59,303 Get in. 1269 01:03:59,403 --> 01:04:00,804 ( Anthony groans ) 1270 01:04:00,905 --> 01:04:02,539 ANTHONY: So what are we going to do with it, then? 1271 01:04:02,639 --> 01:04:04,774 RONNIE: We're going to hand it in... all of it. 1272 01:04:04,875 --> 01:04:07,945 I mean, what else can we do? It's not ours, is it? 1273 01:04:49,619 --> 01:04:50,921 Hello? 1274 01:04:52,189 --> 01:04:53,357 I called round. The door was open. 1275 01:04:53,457 --> 01:04:55,125 I've called the police. 1276 01:04:55,225 --> 01:04:57,227 I thought you might've come home. 1277 01:05:13,077 --> 01:05:17,314 Everyone gets burgled at Christmas, Dad. 1278 01:05:17,414 --> 01:05:21,385 This will be your crime number... 1279 01:05:21,485 --> 01:05:24,989 so you can get on to your insurance company. 1280 01:05:25,089 --> 01:05:27,091 Of course they can't really recompense you for this. 1281 01:05:27,191 --> 01:05:29,493 I mean, they can't give you your Christmas back, can they? 1282 01:05:29,593 --> 01:05:32,129 ( chuckling ): Probably be next Christmas 1283 01:05:32,229 --> 01:05:34,298 by the time you get anything... back. 1284 01:05:34,398 --> 01:05:37,034 I don't suppose you've got any, um... 1285 01:05:37,134 --> 01:05:40,670 serial numbers, security codes, 1286 01:05:40,770 --> 01:05:41,905 anything like that? 1287 01:05:42,006 --> 01:05:43,173 No? 1288 01:05:43,273 --> 01:05:45,509 Well, wouldn't make any difference. 1289 01:05:45,609 --> 01:05:48,945 It's very rare we get anything back. 1290 01:05:49,046 --> 01:05:50,280 Very rare. 1291 01:05:52,782 --> 01:05:56,186 OFFICER: We know the stolen currency is around here somewhere. 1292 01:05:56,286 --> 01:05:57,587 That's what all this is about. 1293 01:05:57,687 --> 01:05:59,356 But they can't do anything about it. 1294 01:05:59,456 --> 01:06:01,125 All the banks have been warned to look out 1295 01:06:01,225 --> 01:06:04,261 for anyone making any large deposits. 1296 01:06:04,361 --> 01:06:07,197 And, of course, it's only one day or two, 1297 01:06:07,297 --> 01:06:11,068 before they realize that the money is, uh, worthless. 1298 01:06:11,168 --> 01:06:13,703 ( laughs ) 1299 01:06:46,203 --> 01:06:48,372 ( door closes ) DOROTHY: What's that? 1300 01:06:48,472 --> 01:06:51,608 It's nothing. It's nothing. It's just my stuff. 1301 01:06:53,110 --> 01:06:54,378 ANTHONY: Oh, Dad, don't! 1302 01:06:54,478 --> 01:06:56,546 DOROTHY ( gasps ): My God. 1303 01:07:02,386 --> 01:07:06,022 This is what they were after. 1304 01:07:07,357 --> 01:07:08,292 That's a lot of money. 1305 01:07:08,392 --> 01:07:09,426 Where did it come from? 1306 01:07:09,526 --> 01:07:11,061 They took our Christmas. 1307 01:07:11,161 --> 01:07:12,196 We'll take their cash. 1308 01:07:12,296 --> 01:07:14,264 You can't keep it. 1309 01:07:14,364 --> 01:07:15,632 You're going to keep it? 1310 01:07:15,732 --> 01:07:17,301 It belongs to the government. 1311 01:07:17,401 --> 01:07:18,568 They were going to burn it! 1312 01:07:18,668 --> 01:07:20,137 They were going to burn all this money. 1313 01:07:20,237 --> 01:07:21,238 That's a crime, if you ask me. 1314 01:07:21,338 --> 01:07:22,272 Definitely. 1315 01:07:22,372 --> 01:07:23,473 Well, stealing's wrong! 1316 01:07:23,573 --> 01:07:24,674 If you steal something, 1317 01:07:24,774 --> 01:07:26,210 you have to steal it from somebody. 1318 01:07:26,310 --> 01:07:28,044 Who would we be stealing it from? 1319 01:07:28,145 --> 01:07:29,413 It's not right! 1320 01:07:29,513 --> 01:07:31,148 Damian, my house has just been ransacked! 1321 01:07:31,248 --> 01:07:34,151 I work every second God sends just to cover the mortgage 1322 01:07:34,251 --> 01:07:35,652 to give you a decent home! 1323 01:07:37,154 --> 01:07:39,022 And now it's been wrecked. 1324 01:07:39,123 --> 01:07:41,425 I am owed this. 1325 01:07:41,525 --> 01:07:44,294 But... Go to bed. 1326 01:07:44,394 --> 01:07:45,529 Now. 1327 01:07:55,639 --> 01:07:58,508 ( sighs ) 1328 01:08:02,279 --> 01:08:04,548 ( wind chime tinkling ) 1329 01:08:16,393 --> 01:08:17,661 Do you want a story? 1330 01:08:17,761 --> 01:08:19,095 It's wrong. 1331 01:08:20,164 --> 01:08:21,298 Who says? 1332 01:08:21,398 --> 01:08:22,499 God. 1333 01:08:23,433 --> 01:08:24,701 Yeah, well... 1334 01:08:26,536 --> 01:08:29,373 "Yeah, well," what? 1335 01:08:29,473 --> 01:08:33,810 Don't you want to go to heaven? Look around you, Damian. 1336 01:08:33,910 --> 01:08:35,212 We're on our own. 1337 01:08:35,312 --> 01:08:37,614 No one is smiling down on us, Damian. 1338 01:08:37,714 --> 01:08:39,549 No one is looking out for us. 1339 01:08:39,649 --> 01:08:42,085 So we're looking out for ourselves. 1340 01:08:42,186 --> 01:08:43,687 But, Mom... Is dead. 1341 01:08:47,257 --> 01:08:49,493 She's dead, Damian. 1342 01:08:49,593 --> 01:08:53,230 You'll never see her again. 1343 01:08:53,330 --> 01:08:56,233 And neither will I. 1344 01:08:59,869 --> 01:09:02,872 And the money is ours. 1345 01:09:02,972 --> 01:09:05,875 We'll take it to town tomorrow and change it 1346 01:09:05,975 --> 01:09:08,445 and spend it-- do you hear me? 1347 01:09:08,545 --> 01:09:09,746 All of it. 1348 01:09:09,846 --> 01:09:12,482 Because it's ours. 1349 01:09:20,357 --> 01:09:23,260 ( wind chimes tinkling ) 1350 01:09:23,360 --> 01:09:27,631 ( loud thud ) 1351 01:09:27,731 --> 01:09:29,266 ( louder thud ) 1352 01:09:29,366 --> 01:09:31,335 ( loud thud ) 1353 01:09:40,244 --> 01:09:41,678 ( gasps ) 1354 01:09:41,778 --> 01:09:44,147 Shh. 1355 01:09:44,248 --> 01:09:46,683 I know you've got it. 1356 01:09:46,783 --> 01:09:48,585 It's mine. 1357 01:09:50,420 --> 01:09:54,358 And you're going to change it tomorrow. 1358 01:09:54,458 --> 01:09:56,726 And that's a good thing. 1359 01:09:56,826 --> 01:09:57,961 Okay. 1360 01:10:04,033 --> 01:10:05,602 ( dialing ) 1361 01:10:05,702 --> 01:10:08,338 When you come back... 1362 01:10:11,775 --> 01:10:14,744 I'm going to call you on this phone. 1363 01:10:14,844 --> 01:10:16,480 Open the front door. 1364 01:10:16,580 --> 01:10:19,749 Let me in. 1365 01:10:19,849 --> 01:10:21,785 And we'll take the money. 1366 01:10:22,652 --> 01:10:26,690 You won't have to worry about it anymore. 1367 01:10:30,327 --> 01:10:32,228 Understand? 1368 01:10:41,771 --> 01:10:43,873 ( gasps ) 1369 01:10:49,078 --> 01:10:50,614 ( sighs ) 1370 01:10:50,714 --> 01:10:52,682 You make sure your phone is switched on. 1371 01:10:58,988 --> 01:11:01,891 DOROTHY: You take one side, and we'll take the other, 1372 01:11:01,991 --> 01:11:02,892 and then swap. 1373 01:11:02,992 --> 01:11:04,328 RONNIE: All right. 1374 01:11:04,428 --> 01:11:05,562 Okay, change what you can, 1375 01:11:05,662 --> 01:11:06,930 and what you can't change, spend. 1376 01:11:07,030 --> 01:11:08,498 Have a ball! 1377 01:11:09,333 --> 01:11:10,500 You do realize 1378 01:11:10,600 --> 01:11:12,502 you just kissed good-bye to the money? 1379 01:11:12,602 --> 01:11:14,237 RONNIE: Come on. Let's get cracking. 1380 01:11:14,338 --> 01:11:15,805 ANTHONY: She's gonna run off with it. 1381 01:11:15,905 --> 01:11:16,840 You must know that. 1382 01:11:16,940 --> 01:11:17,974 Come on! How can she? 1383 01:11:18,074 --> 01:11:19,242 She's got Damian. 1384 01:11:19,343 --> 01:11:20,577 She'll kidnap him, 1385 01:11:20,677 --> 01:11:22,579 hold him for ransom for the rest of the money. 1386 01:11:22,679 --> 01:11:24,648 No, Anthony, that's what you'd do. 1387 01:11:24,748 --> 01:11:25,882 Come on. 1388 01:11:36,025 --> 01:11:38,795 Okay, you wait here, all right? 1389 01:11:44,768 --> 01:11:46,803 ( man whispering ): It's mine. 1390 01:11:52,976 --> 01:11:55,712 RONNIE: We'll have to change more than this. 1391 01:11:55,812 --> 01:11:56,880 No! What? 1392 01:11:56,980 --> 01:11:57,981 That's the whole point. 1393 01:11:58,081 --> 01:11:59,349 Do it in small amounts, 1394 01:11:59,449 --> 01:12:00,817 and no one will be suspicious. 1395 01:12:00,917 --> 01:12:02,586 But look at the queue. Look at the time. 1396 01:12:02,686 --> 01:12:04,554 We'll be lucky to get round three banks at this rate. 1397 01:12:04,654 --> 01:12:07,391 You'll be lucky to stay out of jail. 1398 01:12:07,491 --> 01:12:08,992 Go on. What? 1399 01:12:10,059 --> 01:12:12,962 WOMAN: It's just quite a lot in the circumstances. 1400 01:12:13,062 --> 01:12:14,464 It's 5,000 quid. 1401 01:12:14,564 --> 01:12:15,965 It's the front half of a Ford Fiesta. 1402 01:12:16,065 --> 01:12:18,735 Is this a bank or a sweet shop? 1403 01:12:21,605 --> 01:12:23,873 What? I need to wee. 1404 01:12:23,973 --> 01:12:25,308 Tell her that. 1405 01:12:25,409 --> 01:12:27,043 Can he use your loo? 1406 01:12:27,143 --> 01:12:28,845 I'm not sure. Well, I'm not 1407 01:12:28,945 --> 01:12:30,380 queuing up again. 1408 01:12:30,480 --> 01:12:31,448 The poor kid's been in here half an hour. 1409 01:12:31,548 --> 01:12:32,549 You must have a loo. 1410 01:12:32,649 --> 01:12:34,951 What do you do when you need to go? 1411 01:12:42,592 --> 01:12:44,628 Okay, just this once. 1412 01:12:50,600 --> 01:12:52,469 You'll have to go here. 1413 01:12:52,569 --> 01:12:55,739 I don't really need one. 1414 01:12:57,441 --> 01:12:59,409 You little belter. 1415 01:12:59,509 --> 01:13:01,611 ( laughs ) 1416 01:13:01,711 --> 01:13:04,814 DOROTHY: I just can't see why it's so difficult. 1417 01:13:04,914 --> 01:13:06,382 I need to wee. 1418 01:13:06,483 --> 01:13:09,018 DOROTHY: It's only the front half 1419 01:13:09,118 --> 01:13:10,520 of a Ford Fiesta. 1420 01:13:10,620 --> 01:13:12,121 As far as I'm concerned, that's... 1421 01:13:12,221 --> 01:13:13,790 I need to wee! 1422 01:13:25,602 --> 01:13:30,440 ANNOUNCER: Today is the day that Britain enters the new currency era. 1423 01:13:30,540 --> 01:13:34,644 You must spend or bank any remaining old money today. 1424 01:13:34,744 --> 01:13:35,912 It's now or never, 1425 01:13:36,012 --> 01:13:37,013 use it or lose it. 1426 01:13:37,113 --> 01:13:38,548 At midnight tonight, 1427 01:13:38,648 --> 01:13:40,684 it's euros only for British business. 1428 01:13:40,784 --> 01:13:45,121 Well, if you say so, business... businesses... 1429 01:13:45,221 --> 01:13:46,523 Now, what was your name? 1430 01:13:46,623 --> 01:13:48,525 ANTHONY ( whispering ): Dad? 1431 01:13:48,625 --> 01:13:49,793 What? I've got an idea. 1432 01:13:49,893 --> 01:13:50,894 What? Dollars. 1433 01:13:50,994 --> 01:13:53,429 ANTHONY: Change it into dollars now, 1434 01:13:53,530 --> 01:13:55,131 and change it into euros whenever. 1435 01:13:55,231 --> 01:13:57,433 Actually, once all the excitement's over, 1436 01:13:57,534 --> 01:13:59,669 the euro will most likely drop in value, 1437 01:13:59,769 --> 01:14:02,939 so we'll probably get a better exchange rate this way, too. 1438 01:14:07,276 --> 01:14:08,978 What? 1439 01:14:09,078 --> 01:14:11,481 Where did I get you? 1440 01:14:11,581 --> 01:14:12,716 ( sighs ) 1441 01:14:15,018 --> 01:14:16,686 They've got a bank in there. 1442 01:14:16,786 --> 01:14:18,087 It stays open late. 1443 01:14:18,187 --> 01:14:20,724 You know everything. You do, don't you? 1444 01:14:20,824 --> 01:14:21,958 Yeah. 1445 01:14:26,730 --> 01:14:27,864 What's wrong? 1446 01:14:31,935 --> 01:14:34,504 How did you know about the bank? 1447 01:14:36,873 --> 01:14:38,875 Is this where your mum worked? 1448 01:14:38,975 --> 01:14:40,677 In here? 1449 01:14:44,013 --> 01:14:45,549 You stay there then. You'll be all right. 1450 01:14:45,649 --> 01:14:46,616 I'll come straight back for you. 1451 01:14:46,716 --> 01:14:47,851 I'll do this one. 1452 01:14:47,951 --> 01:14:48,952 Okay? 1453 01:15:06,102 --> 01:15:07,236 Don't look. 1454 01:15:13,777 --> 01:15:16,646 This is where your mum used to work. 1455 01:15:20,249 --> 01:15:22,018 Nice. 1456 01:15:25,855 --> 01:15:28,825 Best get a move on, huh? 1457 01:15:32,261 --> 01:15:33,563 Go on. 1458 01:16:00,890 --> 01:16:03,059 Damian, what are you doing? 1459 01:16:05,128 --> 01:16:06,162 Hey, what's up? 1460 01:16:08,297 --> 01:16:12,669 Did you think I'd run off and left you? 1461 01:16:12,769 --> 01:16:15,104 Did you? 1462 01:16:15,204 --> 01:16:16,940 Well, I didn't, did I? 1463 01:16:17,040 --> 01:16:18,675 No, you didn't. 1464 01:16:19,809 --> 01:16:22,011 The bank's upstairs. 1465 01:16:22,111 --> 01:16:24,547 It's closed. 1466 01:16:24,648 --> 01:16:27,617 And I've had a much better idea. 1467 01:16:27,717 --> 01:16:28,918 Come on. 1468 01:16:29,018 --> 01:16:30,987 Let's go and stuff our faces. 1469 01:16:41,931 --> 01:16:42,832 Whoa! 1470 01:16:42,932 --> 01:16:45,268 ( all shouting and laughing ) 1471 01:16:45,368 --> 01:16:47,603 Oh, I could've had my eye out. 1472 01:16:47,704 --> 01:16:48,638 Where are the glasses? 1473 01:16:48,738 --> 01:16:51,708 Damian wants to give his to the poor. 1474 01:16:51,808 --> 01:16:52,976 Do you? 1475 01:16:53,076 --> 01:16:54,243 Of course, they won't be poor anymore 1476 01:16:54,343 --> 01:16:56,245 once you've given it to them. 1477 01:16:56,345 --> 01:16:58,314 What'll you do then, take it back? 1478 01:16:58,414 --> 01:17:00,616 RONNIE ( chuckling ): Speaking of which... 1479 01:17:01,918 --> 01:17:03,953 Right. Mystery activity. 1480 01:17:04,053 --> 01:17:05,989 Champagne. 1481 01:17:06,089 --> 01:17:07,190 Follow me. 1482 01:17:19,769 --> 01:17:21,370 DOROTHY: A woman opens the door in her nightie, 1483 01:17:21,470 --> 01:17:23,106 and I thought, 'Funny place to keep a door.' 1484 01:17:23,206 --> 01:17:25,274 ( Ronnie and Dorothy laughing ) 1485 01:17:25,374 --> 01:17:27,076 This is your fault-- this. 1486 01:17:27,176 --> 01:17:28,878 What is? 1487 01:17:28,978 --> 01:17:30,113 You don't even know, do you? 1488 01:17:30,213 --> 01:17:31,247 You brought her, 1489 01:17:31,347 --> 01:17:32,682 and you don't even know. 1490 01:17:32,782 --> 01:17:33,717 What are you on about? 1491 01:17:33,817 --> 01:17:35,151 Can you hear 'em laughing? 1492 01:17:35,251 --> 01:17:37,120 Even he's laughing. Listen. 1493 01:17:37,220 --> 01:17:38,888 ( Ronnie chuckling ) 1494 01:17:38,988 --> 01:17:39,889 RONNIE: Very good. 1495 01:17:39,989 --> 01:17:42,158 ( chuckling ) 1496 01:17:42,258 --> 01:17:43,960 Once she's got what she came for, 1497 01:17:44,060 --> 01:17:45,094 she'll piss off again. 1498 01:17:45,194 --> 01:17:46,629 Then he won't be laughing, will he? 1499 01:17:46,730 --> 01:17:48,765 It'll all start again, like when Mum died. 1500 01:17:48,865 --> 01:17:51,167 He'll be angry. Maybe she, you know, she won't. 1501 01:17:51,267 --> 01:17:52,301 She'll stay. 1502 01:17:52,401 --> 01:17:54,137 Oh, great. Much better. 1503 01:17:54,237 --> 01:17:55,304 Is that what you want? 1504 01:17:55,404 --> 01:17:57,406 Her in there with him instead of Mum? 1505 01:17:57,506 --> 01:17:59,075 Why are you angry with me? 1506 01:17:59,175 --> 01:18:00,643 Because you did it-- 1507 01:18:00,744 --> 01:18:02,345 you and your weird stuff: 1508 01:18:02,445 --> 01:18:04,647 chucking money away, talking to yourself, 1509 01:18:04,748 --> 01:18:05,749 seeing things. 1510 01:18:05,849 --> 01:18:07,817 I don't. I mean, maybe I do, but... 1511 01:18:07,917 --> 01:18:10,086 And me sticking up for you. 1512 01:18:10,186 --> 01:18:11,187 For what? 1513 01:18:11,287 --> 01:18:12,922 The truth is, you're a loony. 1514 01:18:13,022 --> 01:18:14,290 Don't say that, Anthony. 1515 01:18:14,390 --> 01:18:15,792 Please don't say that. 1516 01:18:15,892 --> 01:18:17,260 You're just a loony, 1517 01:18:17,360 --> 01:18:18,962 and you should be locked up. 1518 01:18:31,808 --> 01:18:34,778 ( phone vibrating ) 1519 01:18:34,878 --> 01:18:39,115 POOR MAN: Be at the front door with the money in ten minutes. 1520 01:18:39,215 --> 01:18:42,752 ( phone beeps ) 1521 01:19:12,348 --> 01:19:14,951 * 1522 01:19:31,367 --> 01:19:33,202 Damian. 1523 01:19:33,302 --> 01:19:35,371 We were, uh... 1524 01:19:35,471 --> 01:19:38,074 I was just... 1525 01:19:51,520 --> 01:19:52,989 ( doorbell rings ) 1526 01:19:58,394 --> 01:19:59,863 Dad, don't answer it. 1527 01:19:59,963 --> 01:20:01,030 Dad, don't! 1528 01:20:01,130 --> 01:20:02,832 RONNIE: What is going on? 1529 01:20:02,932 --> 01:20:04,367 DAMIAN: Please? WOMAN: See these little girls? 1530 01:20:04,467 --> 01:20:05,468 My girls. 1531 01:20:05,568 --> 01:20:06,535 These are the girls 1532 01:20:06,635 --> 01:20:08,037 that Santa Claus forgot. 1533 01:20:08,137 --> 01:20:09,338 You're our last hope. 1534 01:20:09,438 --> 01:20:10,907 We haven't even got our bus fare home, 1535 01:20:11,007 --> 01:20:12,441 because there's no point in going back 1536 01:20:12,541 --> 01:20:14,310 if you don't help us. They'll chuck us out. 1537 01:20:14,410 --> 01:20:15,444 Who is it? 1538 01:20:15,544 --> 01:20:16,779 MAN: Excuse me. 1539 01:20:16,880 --> 01:20:19,182 Hedgehogs like these need your help. 1540 01:20:19,282 --> 01:20:21,117 50% of families with a chronically ill child 1541 01:20:21,217 --> 01:20:22,185 break up. 1542 01:20:22,285 --> 01:20:23,486 You may be asking yourself, 1543 01:20:23,586 --> 01:20:26,155 "Why does Waterloo Station need friends?" 1544 01:20:26,255 --> 01:20:27,390 Well, let me explain. 1545 01:20:27,490 --> 01:20:28,791 This is the middle of the night. 1546 01:20:28,892 --> 01:20:30,059 This is a private house. 1547 01:20:30,159 --> 01:20:31,094 Who are you? 1548 01:20:31,194 --> 01:20:32,195 Will you get out, please? 1549 01:20:32,295 --> 01:20:33,562 Do you mind just leaving? 1550 01:20:33,662 --> 01:20:35,999 Will you go? Go on. You and your Hedgehogs, get out. 1551 01:20:36,099 --> 01:20:37,466 MAN: It's two euros a month. 1552 01:20:37,566 --> 01:20:38,834 I mean, it's-it's absolutely nothing. 1553 01:20:38,935 --> 01:20:41,437 ( all talking over each other ) 1554 01:20:50,646 --> 01:20:52,949 Just shut up, will you?! 1555 01:21:13,469 --> 01:21:14,603 Damian? 1556 01:21:16,205 --> 01:21:17,306 Damian?! 1557 01:21:19,475 --> 01:21:22,111 ( panting ) 1558 01:21:23,546 --> 01:21:27,216 ( police sirens blaring ) 1559 01:21:29,986 --> 01:21:33,122 WOMAN: This is the same donkey as he looks after just a few months 1560 01:21:33,222 --> 01:21:34,223 in our sanctuary. 1561 01:21:34,323 --> 01:21:35,424 I-I think you'll agree. 1562 01:21:35,524 --> 01:21:37,026 All right, love, put him down. Shall we? 1563 01:21:37,126 --> 01:21:40,563 ( people speaking indistinctly ) 1564 01:21:46,970 --> 01:21:50,439 ( panting ) 1565 01:21:50,539 --> 01:21:54,110 OFFICER: You'd better tell me how this started. 1566 01:21:54,210 --> 01:21:55,544 I have no idea. 1567 01:21:55,644 --> 01:21:58,281 Someone must've said something strange. 1568 01:21:58,381 --> 01:22:00,383 Digital? 1569 01:22:00,483 --> 01:22:02,151 Yeah, that's right, yeah. 1570 01:22:02,251 --> 01:22:03,552 How do you find it? 1571 01:22:03,652 --> 01:22:04,954 I'm yet to be convinced. 1572 01:22:05,054 --> 01:22:06,389 Well, you can come and have a look 1573 01:22:06,489 --> 01:22:07,490 when you get rid of that lot. 1574 01:22:07,590 --> 01:22:08,657 Mm-hmm, one step at a time, eh? 1575 01:22:08,757 --> 01:22:10,526 Any chance of a bit of toast? 1576 01:22:10,626 --> 01:22:11,560 You do that. 1577 01:22:11,660 --> 01:22:13,362 I'll have a look around. 1578 01:22:19,268 --> 01:22:20,403 Evening, lad. 1579 01:22:30,646 --> 01:22:35,084 ( grunting ) 1580 01:22:54,303 --> 01:22:55,371 You. 1581 01:22:59,542 --> 01:23:00,476 Where is he? 1582 01:23:00,576 --> 01:23:01,610 I don't know. 1583 01:23:01,710 --> 01:23:03,079 Huh?! Where is he?! 1584 01:23:03,179 --> 01:23:04,380 Upstairs. 1585 01:23:20,329 --> 01:23:22,631 ( grunting ) 1586 01:23:27,670 --> 01:23:30,005 ( grunts ) 1587 01:23:50,426 --> 01:23:53,429 Peaceful, isn't it? 1588 01:23:53,529 --> 01:23:55,598 Who are you? 1589 01:23:55,698 --> 01:23:58,267 Huh? 1590 01:23:58,367 --> 01:24:00,069 Who am I? 1591 01:24:03,372 --> 01:24:05,007 Who are you? 1592 01:24:05,108 --> 01:24:07,476 We're the police. 1593 01:24:24,460 --> 01:24:27,463 ( wind whistling ) 1594 01:24:38,574 --> 01:24:41,210 ( train whistle blows ) 1595 01:24:57,526 --> 01:24:59,328 DAMIAN: Oh. 1596 01:25:01,697 --> 01:25:03,632 I know you're only a dream, 1597 01:25:03,732 --> 01:25:04,800 but I don't care. 1598 01:25:04,900 --> 01:25:06,802 It's nice to see you 1599 01:25:06,902 --> 01:25:09,305 even if you're just a dream. 1600 01:25:10,739 --> 01:25:14,277 The money just makes everything worse. 1601 01:25:14,377 --> 01:25:16,579 I've got something for you 1602 01:25:16,679 --> 01:25:18,347 from Reader's Digest. 1603 01:25:18,447 --> 01:25:19,782 Here. 1604 01:25:21,817 --> 01:25:24,520 You may have already won 1605 01:25:24,620 --> 01:25:27,356 £10,000. 1606 01:25:28,924 --> 01:25:32,795 Please, will you talk to me? 1607 01:25:32,895 --> 01:25:35,564 Five minutes, okay? 1608 01:25:40,969 --> 01:25:42,505 Now, don't interrupt. 1609 01:25:42,605 --> 01:25:45,274 I'm dead. I know what I'm talking about, okay? 1610 01:25:45,374 --> 01:25:47,676 You need to use conditioner on your hair. 1611 01:25:47,776 --> 01:25:49,612 Your dad won't think of that, 1612 01:25:49,712 --> 01:25:51,580 but it makes all the difference. 1613 01:25:52,681 --> 01:25:53,816 Me. 1614 01:25:54,750 --> 01:25:59,121 You are not to worry about me. 1615 01:25:59,222 --> 01:26:02,191 You have been worrying about me, haven't you? 1616 01:26:03,492 --> 01:26:04,593 I'm fine. 1617 01:26:06,695 --> 01:26:07,830 Anthony. 1618 01:26:07,930 --> 01:26:11,434 He seems to have taken it better than you, 1619 01:26:11,534 --> 01:26:13,202 but he hasn't. 1620 01:26:13,302 --> 01:26:15,238 He's got a good heart. He just... 1621 01:26:15,338 --> 01:26:17,440 He doesn't know where it is. 1622 01:26:17,540 --> 01:26:19,342 Damian?! 1623 01:26:19,442 --> 01:26:21,610 He's going to need you. Be good to him. 1624 01:26:21,710 --> 01:26:24,280 Dad doesn't believe. 1625 01:26:24,380 --> 01:26:25,914 MUM: Doesn't believe what? 1626 01:26:26,014 --> 01:26:28,584 Any of it. Anything. 1627 01:26:28,684 --> 01:26:31,820 He mustn't do or he wouldn't. 1628 01:26:31,920 --> 01:26:33,422 Couldn't you talk to him? 1629 01:26:33,522 --> 01:26:34,723 He can't see me. 1630 01:26:34,823 --> 01:26:37,493 Mum, is it because of the money? 1631 01:26:37,593 --> 01:26:38,927 In a way. 1632 01:26:39,027 --> 01:26:41,697 The money makes it harder to see what's what. 1633 01:26:41,797 --> 01:26:43,699 ( laughs ) 1634 01:26:43,799 --> 01:26:46,602 You know that already. 1635 01:26:50,773 --> 01:26:53,909 Never really win with those things anyway. 1636 01:26:54,009 --> 01:26:55,478 You just end up with books 1637 01:26:55,578 --> 01:26:58,247 about the building of the American railways. 1638 01:27:01,850 --> 01:27:03,619 It's her, isn't it? 1639 01:27:04,953 --> 01:27:07,523 Your dad and her. 1640 01:27:09,658 --> 01:27:10,726 Damian? 1641 01:27:14,330 --> 01:27:16,365 ( sighs ) 1642 01:27:16,465 --> 01:27:19,868 You know how complicated the money was? 1643 01:27:19,968 --> 01:27:24,707 Well, people are even more complicated. 1644 01:27:24,807 --> 01:27:26,742 You need to remember 1645 01:27:26,842 --> 01:27:28,277 that there's nearly always 1646 01:27:28,377 --> 01:27:29,878 enough good around to be going on with. 1647 01:27:29,978 --> 01:27:32,548 You've just got to have a bit of faith, you know. 1648 01:27:32,648 --> 01:27:35,851 If you've got faith in people, that makes them stronger. 1649 01:27:35,951 --> 01:27:37,486 And you... 1650 01:27:37,586 --> 01:27:40,389 You've got enough to sort all three of you out. 1651 01:27:41,857 --> 01:27:44,226 Hey, that's 1652 01:27:44,327 --> 01:27:46,429 why I'm counting on you. 1653 01:27:47,763 --> 01:27:50,433 I haven't really been worried about you. 1654 01:27:50,533 --> 01:27:53,869 I've just been missing you. 1655 01:27:53,969 --> 01:27:55,270 That's allowed. 1656 01:27:56,972 --> 01:27:58,674 Are you really a saint? 1657 01:28:01,544 --> 01:28:02,678 Well, 1658 01:28:02,911 --> 01:28:04,980 the criteria's very strict. 1659 01:28:05,080 --> 01:28:07,850 It's not just a case of doing good and all that. 1660 01:28:07,950 --> 01:28:10,919 You do have to do an actual miracle. 1661 01:28:11,019 --> 01:28:12,788 So... 1662 01:28:12,888 --> 01:28:15,424 I'm in there. Of course I am. 1663 01:28:15,524 --> 01:28:17,926 What was your miracle? 1664 01:28:18,026 --> 01:28:20,396 Don't you know? 1665 01:28:22,498 --> 01:28:24,533 It was you. 1666 01:28:36,011 --> 01:28:37,312 Hey. 1667 01:28:38,447 --> 01:28:41,316 Aren't you gonna say good-bye? 1668 01:28:49,925 --> 01:28:51,594 Bye. 1669 01:29:37,773 --> 01:29:39,708 Did you see her? 1670 01:29:39,808 --> 01:29:41,544 What did she say? 1671 01:29:41,644 --> 01:29:44,780 She said to tell you not to worry. 1672 01:29:44,880 --> 01:29:46,682 It's all gonna be all right. 1673 01:29:49,552 --> 01:29:52,087 She's looking out for you. 1674 01:29:52,187 --> 01:29:53,522 Come on. 1675 01:29:54,790 --> 01:29:56,759 ( sighs ) 1676 01:30:07,503 --> 01:30:09,438 DOROTHY: Well, 1677 01:30:09,538 --> 01:30:12,107 it was fun while it lasted, eh? 1678 01:30:21,717 --> 01:30:25,087 Look, there's no easy way to say this, but, uh, 1679 01:30:25,187 --> 01:30:26,989 I put a bit to one side 1680 01:30:27,089 --> 01:30:29,492 for me to spend. 1681 01:30:29,592 --> 01:30:30,926 You can have it back. 1682 01:30:31,026 --> 01:30:34,062 DAMIAN: Dorothy, 6,310 euros. 1683 01:30:34,162 --> 01:30:36,499 All the best, eh? 1684 01:30:38,601 --> 01:30:40,536 RONNIE: Dollars. 1685 01:30:40,636 --> 01:30:41,670 It's just a few grand. 1686 01:30:41,770 --> 01:30:42,705 DAMIAN: Dad. 1687 01:30:42,805 --> 01:30:43,872 Ten, really. 1688 01:30:43,972 --> 01:30:46,408 DAMIAN: $11,400. 1689 01:30:46,509 --> 01:30:47,910 RONNIE: I was going to tell you. 1690 01:30:48,010 --> 01:30:50,579 I sort of kept them by mistake. 1691 01:30:51,814 --> 01:30:53,849 DAMIAN: Anthony. 1692 01:30:53,949 --> 01:30:56,018 I just enjoyed having a wedge. 1693 01:30:56,118 --> 01:30:57,853 It wasn't really the money. 1694 01:30:57,953 --> 01:30:59,755 I just liked having it. 1695 01:30:59,855 --> 01:31:03,959 DAMIAN: 4,780 euros. 1696 01:31:04,059 --> 01:31:06,361 Dorothy wanted a holiday of a lifetime. 1697 01:31:06,461 --> 01:31:08,864 Dad wanted to pay off all his credit cards. 1698 01:31:08,964 --> 01:31:10,666 Come on, Dad. 1699 01:31:10,766 --> 01:31:13,969 DAMIAN: Anthony wanted one Game Boy Advanced XP, 1700 01:31:14,069 --> 01:31:17,740 one PlayStation 3, a Shogun new BMX bike, 1701 01:31:17,840 --> 01:31:20,108 a Rakia 500 super quad bike, 1702 01:31:20,208 --> 01:31:23,712 Nimbus 2000 electromagnetic stair rider, 1703 01:31:23,812 --> 01:31:25,147 a tabletop candy floss maker, 1704 01:31:25,247 --> 01:31:29,484 an iPod, obviously, an iBot, obviously. 1705 01:31:29,585 --> 01:31:30,519 ANTHONY: What's going on? 1706 01:31:30,619 --> 01:31:31,587 Be patient! 1707 01:31:31,687 --> 01:31:33,522 And a stamp on it hydraulic rocket 1708 01:31:33,622 --> 01:31:36,759 capable of attaining altitudes of over 100 meters. 1709 01:31:36,859 --> 01:31:38,493 Three. 1710 01:31:38,594 --> 01:31:39,995 Two. 1711 01:31:40,095 --> 01:31:40,996 One. 1712 01:31:41,096 --> 01:31:43,632 ( loud rumbling ) 1713 01:31:53,676 --> 01:31:56,745 That's how Anthony would want this diary to end, 1714 01:31:56,845 --> 01:31:58,847 with big piles of stuff. 1715 01:31:58,947 --> 01:32:00,583 But it's not his story. 1716 01:32:00,683 --> 01:32:01,650 It's mine. 1717 01:32:01,750 --> 01:32:04,887 ( speaking French ) 1718 01:32:04,987 --> 01:32:07,923 DAMIAN: This is where I want it to end. 1719 01:32:33,281 --> 01:32:37,986 * Children's chorus singing in French * 1720 01:32:48,163 --> 01:32:51,099 ( cheering ) 1721 01:32:56,038 --> 01:32:59,574 ( chattering ) 1722 01:35:47,976 --> 01:35:50,312 * All this for nothing 1723 01:35:50,412 --> 01:35:53,415 * Yeah, yeah, yeah 1724 01:35:53,515 --> 01:35:56,451 * Praying and hoping 1725 01:35:56,551 --> 01:35:59,387 * Fooling yourself 1726 01:35:59,487 --> 01:36:04,226 * You know that you can give love a reason * 1727 01:36:05,427 --> 01:36:08,330 * Give love a chance 1728 01:36:08,430 --> 01:36:12,467 * We tumble and fall 1729 01:36:14,369 --> 01:36:17,439 * Together we crawl 1730 01:36:20,342 --> 01:36:24,312 * Forever we'll be 1731 01:36:26,481 --> 01:36:29,985 * Tumble and fall 1732 01:36:36,024 --> 01:36:38,426 * Heaven's above us 1733 01:36:38,526 --> 01:36:41,363 * Yeah, yeah, yeah 1734 01:36:41,463 --> 01:36:44,366 * Living in solace 1735 01:36:44,466 --> 01:36:47,302 * I give you it all 1736 01:36:47,402 --> 01:36:50,072 * Just for a day 1737 01:36:50,172 --> 01:36:53,241 * Just for a second 1738 01:36:53,341 --> 01:36:56,044 * Just for the way 1739 01:36:56,144 --> 01:37:00,248 * We tumble and fall 1740 01:37:01,616 --> 01:37:05,954 * Together we crawl 1741 01:37:07,355 --> 01:37:11,426 * Forever we'll be 1742 01:37:13,328 --> 01:37:16,564 * Tumble and fall 1743 01:37:20,202 --> 01:37:25,040 * Life's not the same 1744 01:37:25,140 --> 01:37:27,309 * Since that day you went away 1745 01:37:27,409 --> 01:37:29,477 * I recall 1746 01:37:29,577 --> 01:37:34,316 * Like the drops of summer rain that fell on me * 1747 01:37:38,153 --> 01:37:42,124 * Come back to me 1748 01:37:45,393 --> 01:37:48,997 * Come back to me 1749 01:37:50,298 --> 01:37:53,101 * Yeah, yeah, yeah 1750 01:37:56,504 --> 01:37:59,374 * Yeah, yeah, yeah 1751 01:38:02,610 --> 01:38:05,147 * Yeah, yeah, yeah 1752 01:38:08,450 --> 01:38:10,919 * Yeah, yeah, yeah 1753 01:38:14,222 --> 01:38:17,125 * Yeah, yeah, yeah 1754 01:38:17,225 --> 01:38:20,162 * Yeah, yeah, yeah * 1755 01:38:20,262 --> 01:38:23,331 * Yeah, yeah, yeah 1756 01:38:23,431 --> 01:38:26,301 * Yeah, yeah, yeah * 1757 01:38:26,401 --> 01:38:29,271 * Yeah, yeah, yeah 1758 01:38:29,371 --> 01:38:32,107 * Yeah, yeah, yeah * 1759 01:38:32,207 --> 01:38:35,443 * Yeah, yeah, yeah 1760 01:38:35,543 --> 01:38:38,646 * Yeah, yeah, yeah. *