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NARRATOR: It was Tres de Cinco,
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00:00:11,393 --> 00:00:14,855
or the day before Cinco de Cuatro,
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00:00:14,756 --> 00:00:19,136
and Buster Bluth had finally
found a family he fit in with.
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00:00:19,178 --> 00:00:21,263
Where's Mother? Ah.
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00:00:21,305 --> 00:00:24,642
Ah, way to go, way to go.
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Hi. I know you've been down today,
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00:00:27,307 --> 00:00:29,142
so I brought you this.
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00:00:29,184 --> 00:00:30,768
They're for Cinco.
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In case you wanted to make confetti
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00:00:32,270 --> 00:00:33,729
out of something other than the pictures
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00:00:33,771 --> 00:00:35,857
that they sell of the
chubby Linda Ronstadt.
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I am so blessed to have you in my life.
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I'm so blessed to have you in my life.
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Just six weeks ago, I was a hot mess.
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I was desperate for a mother,
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and I don't think I could admit it.
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NARRATOR: As you'll see,
he admits it plenty.
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But now look at me.
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I'm with a beautiful, elegant woman!
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(both laugh)
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And I think we should
take it to the next level.
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Buster had come a long way
since his fear of boats...
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(Buster whimpering)
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- ... was conquered...
- (Bleep) baby.
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And then rekindled, only to find himself
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- facing a bigger fear.
- Oh, come on!
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But his biggest fear wasn't confronting
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a wet, loose seal; it was losing one.
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Wait! She doesn't have her makeup!
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I have her lipstick!
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Mother!
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- Michael.
- Yeah, it's a tough one
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because there's about 400
witnesses that are ready
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to throw her underneath the boat.
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I don't think I can even help.
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(Buster whimpering)
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Buster was distraught,
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- and made some foolish mistakes.
- Hey, Lupe.
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- Oh, Buster.
- Like this.
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Are you going to be all right?
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00:01:45,797 --> 00:01:47,090
- Oh.
- Uh, you want me to stay?
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I was planning to visit with my family.
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Oh, no, and just watch.
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Mother is going to come
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waltzing through that door any day now,
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and she is going to be screaming,
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"Make sure you frisk that girl before... "
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I'll be fine.
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- That's my perfume.
- Mm, good.
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00:02:03,815 --> 00:02:05,900
Okay, good. She wouldn't wear that.
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00:02:05,942 --> 00:02:07,986
When his father didn't return, either,
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00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:09,696
Buster stuck to his daily routine.
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Ah.
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You're welcome.
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Laying out Mother's clothes...
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All right.
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♪ The vodka goes in, you
pour it in the other ♪
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Making Mother's breakfast...
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♪ The olive on top and
then you call your... ♪
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♪ Mother. ♪
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(chuckling): Oh, this is bugging me.
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00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:34,679
And amusing himself with little jokes...
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Ah,finito.
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He thought she'd appreciate.
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Except for the hair.
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You have reduced. (chuckles)
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Well, you're not that skinny.
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00:02:43,771 --> 00:02:45,565
Welcome home, chubs.
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(laughing)
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Oh, you will kill me for that.
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And I don't want that blood on my hands.
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(shrieks, chuckles)
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And with his mother gone, it was nice
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00:02:54,532 --> 00:02:56,659
to get a chance to use the sewing machine.
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(chuckles, sighs)
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00:02:58,369 --> 00:03:01,455
Still, he found ways to
feel good about himself.
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Buster, you always come through.
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00:03:03,708 --> 00:03:05,668
Oh, Mother, that's so nice.
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00:03:05,710 --> 00:03:08,880
No, no, no, no, no, I
mean it. It's amazing work.
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00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:11,465
- But he knew it wasn't real.
- Okay, I need to stop,
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or I'm going to be committed.
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At first.
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What?
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(gasps)
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But that would take hours.
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Oh, this is going to be just stunning.
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You are always so right. (laughs)
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And then the waiter came back,
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and he said, "Oh, I'm sorry. Who are you?"
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And I said, "I'm Buster Bluth.
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That's the fourth time I've told you."
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Soon, he had run out of food...
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that he knew how to make.
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But everywhere he looked, he found
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00:03:40,286 --> 00:03:41,913
mocking reminders of the woman he lost.
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(gasps)
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(gasps)
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He did find some supplies
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from one of his mother's "I
can quit any time" stints.
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Oh, cute.
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00:03:52,090 --> 00:03:55,176
But the emotional lift was temporary.
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And before long, things had gotten weird.
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♪ Put the olive on top and
you set it down for Mother. ♪
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To an uninformed observer,
it looked a little
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like that Vince Vaughn movie Psycho.
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Oh, I agree.
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00:04:07,730 --> 00:04:11,358
Dancing with the Stars has
gone completely downhill.
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This pasta's way overcooked, Buster!
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Well, you didn't leave me
the simplest recipe, Mother.
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Finally, Lucille was
released under house arrest,
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00:04:22,453 --> 00:04:25,748
and everything returned to normal.
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Oh.
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I was just thinking about you.
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NARRATOR: Now the story of a family
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whose future was abruptly cancelled
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and the one son who had no choice
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but to keep himself together.
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It's Buster's...
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NARRATOR: Buster was
passing time with Lucille...
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Chinchilla!
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By playing games like Guess the Fur.
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The one you got after Dad had the affair
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with the chubby intern from Riverside.
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You win again, Buster.
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I know what's going to stump you.
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Oh! (giggles)
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Close your eyes tight and plug your ears.
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Just plug one ear and press
the other one to the couch.
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But after three months of being
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00:05:12,628 --> 00:05:14,255
cooped up with her youngest son...
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Mother! Stop! Mother!
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Lucille was growing restive.
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No, Mother! If the alarm goes off
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and they catch you, they'll
take you away forever!
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I can't take it anymore.
I have to get out of here.
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00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:26,809
I don't care. I can't keep playing
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Guess My Fur six times a day.
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I need a smoke.
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Right to the smokes, huh?
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Give me a minute. Let me catch my breath.
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And Buster refined a testimony
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that was meant to spare Lucille from jail
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at a legal defense strategy meeting
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- slash graduation party.
- It's gonna be an eel!
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MICHAEL: Congratulations, Mother.
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You've managed to combine people's fear
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00:05:48,664 --> 00:05:50,708
of homosexuals and eels into one alibi.
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And he'll be wearing his Army uniform
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so I can pretend I'm proud of him again.
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I couldn't find my Army uniform.
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Oh, but I thought the jury might like it
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if I show up as John-John Kennedy.
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Oh, yeah, that went over great last time.
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And it was offensive.
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Half your testicle was
hanging out of that thing.
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Good!
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I'm glad they saw it.
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It was like a Motherboy Ball, right?
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BUSTER (high-pitched): Hmm?
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- Hi.
- Hi.
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00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:21,822
Put on your new uniform... with long pants.
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And keep your ball joke to
yourself, Andrew Dice Clay.
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So you can see why I need
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00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:28,621
the testimony of someone
who's not a hot mess.
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- BUSTER: You're a hot mess!
- You're a hot mess!
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MICHAEL: Let me get this
straight... you won't let me
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help with your case...
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And the night before the trial,
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tensions had only gotten worse.
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You need me just as much
as I need you, cookie.
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Oh, really?
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Because you can be replaced, you know.
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Can she?
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And even if you can't,
you're not the boss of me.
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Can I go to... ? I'm going to the park!
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Oh, Buster.
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Hello.
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Hello to you, too, 2.
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00:07:01,528 --> 00:07:03,656
Oh, look at all this produce.
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I'm juicing now. Would you like to join me?
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00:07:05,908 --> 00:07:08,286
It's 2: 00 in the afternoon.
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00:07:08,328 --> 00:07:09,829
Honey, it's 8: 00 a.m. somewhere.
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00:07:09,870 --> 00:07:11,289
Oh, I forgot...
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00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:12,706
your mother wouldn't allow it.
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00:07:12,748 --> 00:07:15,751
(loudly): I don't care what she wants.
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00:07:15,793 --> 00:07:18,379
(quietly): Don't care what she wants.
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00:07:18,421 --> 00:07:21,132
I don't do everything she tells me.
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Let's get juiced.
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NARRATOR: The next morning, Buster awoke
190
00:07:28,389 --> 00:07:29,849
- with a vicious juice hangover.
- Oh.
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Well, that was a freebie.
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(gasps)
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Mother's trial.
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(whimpers loudly)
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BUSTER: Key witness!
196
00:07:40,567 --> 00:07:42,236
Key witness coming through.
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00:07:42,278 --> 00:07:43,779
I'm a key... I...
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00:07:43,821 --> 00:07:45,572
I was making two ban...
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00:07:45,614 --> 00:07:47,116
(whimpers)
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00:07:47,158 --> 00:07:50,328
MARINES: Late last night,
it was drizzling rain!
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00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:52,288
I'm a key witness.
202
00:07:52,330 --> 00:07:54,748
(Buster whimpering)
203
00:07:54,790 --> 00:07:56,125
Is it over?
204
00:07:56,167 --> 00:07:58,294
No, no, the grab-a-crab fest just started.
205
00:07:58,336 --> 00:07:59,670
Grab-a-crab?
206
00:07:59,712 --> 00:08:02,256
Oh, ma'am, um... is... is there a verdict
207
00:08:02,298 --> 00:08:04,091
in the "my mother stole
theQueen Mary"thing?
208
00:08:04,133 --> 00:08:05,718
It's all up on the dailies board.
209
00:08:05,759 --> 00:08:08,221
Dailies? What? Clam ch... (gasps)
210
00:08:08,262 --> 00:08:10,639
LUCILLE: The fish is frozen here!
211
00:08:10,681 --> 00:08:14,560
It's frozen! Do you really want
to spend $30 on frozen fish?
212
00:08:14,601 --> 00:08:15,978
(gasps) Buster.
213
00:08:16,020 --> 00:08:18,523
Where were you? This is all your fault.
214
00:08:18,564 --> 00:08:19,815
No, I was making... was making a ban...
215
00:08:19,857 --> 00:08:21,275
- I was making two ban...
- Save it.
216
00:08:21,317 --> 00:08:23,069
I can smell the cran-apple
on you from here.
217
00:08:23,110 --> 00:08:25,071
When... when are you coming home?
218
00:08:25,112 --> 00:08:26,697
I'm serving three to five.
219
00:08:26,739 --> 00:08:28,574
(gasps) Like the saltless pie?
220
00:08:28,615 --> 00:08:31,536
I hope your juicy blender
bender was worth it.
221
00:08:31,577 --> 00:08:34,205
Don't come to visit me
because I won't see you.
222
00:08:34,247 --> 00:08:35,998
Oh, and good luck with your night terrors.
223
00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:38,876
Now no one will be there
to hear your screams.
224
00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:40,378
(screams)
225
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:43,256
Won't miss it!
226
00:08:44,507 --> 00:08:46,717
Where... where do I go?
227
00:08:46,759 --> 00:08:48,135
What do I do?
228
00:08:48,177 --> 00:08:50,596
Where... where'd you get the pirate hat?
229
00:08:50,637 --> 00:08:52,390
Where... where do I go?
230
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:54,434
NARRATOR: And so Buster
went back to the penthouse,
231
00:08:54,475 --> 00:08:57,437
feeling guilty and alone.
232
00:08:57,478 --> 00:09:00,106
And he couldn't bear to
relive the time he was there
233
00:09:00,147 --> 00:09:01,566
without Lucille before.
234
00:09:01,607 --> 00:09:04,318
I can't go through
another two days like that.
235
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:06,320
And that's how Buster
decided to make another go
236
00:09:06,362 --> 00:09:08,822
at making another go at Lucille 2.
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00:09:08,864 --> 00:09:10,241
Buster.
238
00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:11,700
My mother's gone away,
239
00:09:11,742 --> 00:09:13,536
and I thought, you've always been like a...
240
00:09:13,578 --> 00:09:15,580
- Girlfriend.
- Not what I was gonna say.
241
00:09:15,621 --> 00:09:17,915
Anyways, I was over there,
and my friend's over here,
242
00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:20,167
and I thought, maybe I should just move in,
243
00:09:20,209 --> 00:09:22,878
because I love to hear
all about your medications
244
00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:24,422
and ailments and whatnot.
245
00:09:24,464 --> 00:09:26,466
Is that baby toe of yours still crawling
246
00:09:26,507 --> 00:09:28,342
over the others like a weird weed?
247
00:09:28,384 --> 00:09:30,595
Oh, Buster, how sweet of you to remember.
248
00:09:30,636 --> 00:09:32,054
Oh, it's one of my night terrors.
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00:09:32,096 --> 00:09:33,431
But listen, Buster,
250
00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:36,142
- before I invite you into my arms...
- Mm-hmm.
251
00:09:36,183 --> 00:09:39,186
My bedroom, my bathtub with the railing...
252
00:09:39,228 --> 00:09:42,106
- Mm-hmm.
- I have to ask you something.
253
00:09:42,148 --> 00:09:43,316
Mm-hmm.
254
00:09:43,357 --> 00:09:44,900
Are you sure you're ready for this?
255
00:09:46,527 --> 00:09:49,489
So, that pretend kid's bedroom,
is that not an option... ?
256
00:09:49,530 --> 00:09:51,907
No, that room is all storage now, honey.
257
00:09:51,949 --> 00:09:53,826
So, yes or no?
258
00:09:53,867 --> 00:09:56,454
Are you ready to let go of your mother?
259
00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:57,871
NARRATOR: Buster thought he was,
260
00:09:57,913 --> 00:10:00,458
although there was one ominous sign.
261
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,835
I am ready for that, Lucille.
262
00:10:04,962 --> 00:10:06,380
Did you hear it?
263
00:10:09,258 --> 00:10:12,219
Wait. Did you just drop
the 2 after my name?
264
00:10:12,261 --> 00:10:14,263
(laughing): Oh, I hope not.
265
00:10:14,305 --> 00:10:16,807
That would be creepy.
266
00:10:16,849 --> 00:10:18,809
Before you accidentally skip back too far
267
00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:21,604
and wind up in the middle
of the Maeby episode,
268
00:10:21,646 --> 00:10:24,148
trust me, no "2" was spoken.
269
00:10:25,691 --> 00:10:27,401
Every day, Buster visited the prison
270
00:10:27,443 --> 00:10:29,945
where his mother was incarcerated.
271
00:10:29,987 --> 00:10:32,323
Buster Bluth and pie for his m...
272
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:34,325
(sighs) Lucille Bluth.
273
00:10:35,742 --> 00:10:36,910
Hmm...
274
00:10:38,204 --> 00:10:40,498
And every day, she refused to see him.
275
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:41,748
LUCILLE: No.
276
00:10:41,790 --> 00:10:43,000
BUSTER: Oh.
277
00:10:43,042 --> 00:10:44,293
She doesn't want to see you.
278
00:10:44,335 --> 00:10:46,420
Excellent.
279
00:10:48,631 --> 00:10:50,466
(crying)
280
00:10:50,508 --> 00:10:52,385
He even pretended to be
281
00:10:52,426 --> 00:10:55,596
an old college flame of
Lucille's to gain admittance.
282
00:10:55,638 --> 00:10:57,806
Hello.
283
00:11:00,893 --> 00:11:02,520
Alex Trebek?
284
00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:04,938
She then rephrased it in
the form of a question.
285
00:11:04,980 --> 00:11:06,899
Who is Alex Trebek?
286
00:11:06,940 --> 00:11:08,775
Buster.
287
00:11:11,696 --> 00:11:14,240
- No, Buster.
- Mm-hmm.
288
00:11:15,908 --> 00:11:20,204
Do you have a pie or a
small sponge cake available?
289
00:11:21,455 --> 00:11:23,290
- Ah. Thank you.
- Here you go.
290
00:11:23,332 --> 00:11:25,668
And while his days were spent trying to get
291
00:11:25,710 --> 00:11:27,461
- his mother to love him...
- LUCILLE 2: Oh, Buster!
292
00:11:27,503 --> 00:11:29,338
- You're just in time.
- ... his nights were consumed
293
00:11:29,380 --> 00:11:30,881
with getting his lover to mother him.
294
00:11:30,923 --> 00:11:33,593
I hope you are in the
mood for a hot tomato.
295
00:11:33,634 --> 00:11:35,094
Mmm. Soup?
296
00:11:35,135 --> 00:11:37,221
With little grilled cheese
sandwiches on the side.
297
00:11:37,263 --> 00:11:39,599
Buster, that was innuendo.
298
00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:41,100
- Oh.
- My Lord, it's like
299
00:11:41,141 --> 00:11:42,976
we're speaking different languages here.
300
00:11:43,018 --> 00:11:44,395
No, it's not.
301
00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:45,730
It is working.
302
00:11:45,770 --> 00:11:47,856
I'm getting hungry.
303
00:11:48,815 --> 00:11:50,025
For love?
304
00:11:50,067 --> 00:11:51,485
Oh, God, is this another
305
00:11:51,527 --> 00:11:54,238
one of those nights where
nothing is as it seems
306
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,490
and there's no cream pie for dessert?
307
00:11:56,532 --> 00:11:58,534
Holy Toledo, Buster, sometimes I think
308
00:11:58,576 --> 00:12:01,287
I'm nothing but a Horn & Hardart to you.
309
00:12:01,328 --> 00:12:03,080
Oh! What happened to innuendo?
310
00:12:03,122 --> 00:12:04,831
Let's do it quick.
311
00:12:04,873 --> 00:12:06,959
It's an old restaurant.
312
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:08,753
(laughing): Oh! A restaurant!
313
00:12:08,793 --> 00:12:10,212
I don't care if it's old!
314
00:12:10,254 --> 00:12:11,505
Look who I'm dating!
315
00:12:11,547 --> 00:12:13,299
Let's go there. Let's go there now.
316
00:12:13,340 --> 00:12:17,511
Buster, you can either
be a son or a lover...
317
00:12:17,553 --> 00:12:20,180
and right now, you're
no good to me as a lover.
318
00:12:20,222 --> 00:12:22,391
Maybe you're right.
319
00:12:22,433 --> 00:12:25,936
Maybe this has been wrong from the start.
320
00:12:25,978 --> 00:12:28,147
- So... Mom.
- Out.
321
00:12:28,188 --> 00:12:29,774
And since he couldn't bear
322
00:12:29,814 --> 00:12:31,233
- to go back to the penthouse...
- Out!
323
00:12:31,275 --> 00:12:32,485
You know, if tomorrow, you don't open up
324
00:12:32,526 --> 00:12:33,902
and let someone else in...
325
00:12:33,944 --> 00:12:35,488
Buster needed to raise some money.
326
00:12:35,529 --> 00:12:37,615
(on TV): then the
treasures you have inside...
327
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:39,575
This is my Motherboy Four medal.
328
00:12:39,617 --> 00:12:41,994
That's when I was a kangaroo in her pouch.
329
00:12:42,035 --> 00:12:43,996
What'll you give me for it?
330
00:12:44,037 --> 00:12:48,501
But Buster wasn't the first
Motherboy to hit hard times.
331
00:12:48,542 --> 00:12:50,503
What will you give me for these?
332
00:12:50,544 --> 00:12:52,087
All-time low.
333
00:12:52,129 --> 00:12:54,381
And that's when Buster found inspiration.
334
00:12:54,423 --> 00:12:57,343
She certainly looks proud of her son.
335
00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:02,222
(singsongy): I'm back!
336
00:13:02,264 --> 00:13:05,267
As it turned out, Buster
returned on the very day
337
00:13:05,309 --> 00:13:08,729
the Army policy regarding
sexual orientation had changed.
338
00:13:08,771 --> 00:13:10,855
- Are you gay?
- No.
339
00:13:10,897 --> 00:13:12,024
- You can tell me.
- I'm not.
340
00:13:12,065 --> 00:13:13,192
SOLDIER 2: It's okay.
341
00:13:13,233 --> 00:13:14,067
Drew, tell him.
342
00:13:14,109 --> 00:13:15,778
- I'm gay.
- Oh.
343
00:13:15,820 --> 00:13:16,987
- Peter's gay.
- Oh...
344
00:13:17,029 --> 00:13:18,071
- Sergeant Melnick's gay.
- Oh.
345
00:13:18,113 --> 00:13:19,198
(sighing): Bi.
346
00:13:19,239 --> 00:13:20,991
Oh, sorry, he's bi.
347
00:13:21,033 --> 00:13:22,493
No, I'm going home for the day.
348
00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:23,868
I'm gay.
349
00:13:23,910 --> 00:13:25,329
Yeah, it really makes no difference to us.
350
00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:27,707
- We'll find something for you.
- Perfect.
351
00:13:27,748 --> 00:13:29,916
I was looking for something.
352
00:13:31,627 --> 00:13:32,961
You said "something," right?
353
00:13:33,003 --> 00:13:34,588
And that's how Buster officially
354
00:13:34,630 --> 00:13:36,716
reenlisted in the Army.
355
00:13:36,757 --> 00:13:39,176
And it's why, six months later,
356
00:13:39,218 --> 00:13:40,219
- SOLDIER: Lucille Bluth.
- Lucille Bluth
357
00:13:40,260 --> 00:13:41,762
got some bad news.
358
00:13:41,804 --> 00:13:44,097
Yes?
359
00:13:44,139 --> 00:13:47,184
I'm here to see you about your son.
360
00:13:47,226 --> 00:13:48,477
Oh, this is a ploy.
361
00:13:48,519 --> 00:13:50,020
He's trying to get me to see him.
362
00:13:50,062 --> 00:13:51,938
How do I know you're really in the Army?
363
00:13:51,980 --> 00:13:54,650
Who did Larry Kert replace in Company?
364
00:13:54,692 --> 00:13:56,026
I don't know.
365
00:13:56,068 --> 00:13:57,820
I know who he thought he was replacing,
366
00:13:57,862 --> 00:13:59,739
and it was Dean Jones.
367
00:13:59,780 --> 00:14:01,156
But he didn't come close.
368
00:14:01,198 --> 00:14:02,742
(shudders anxiously)
369
00:14:02,783 --> 00:14:04,577
My Buster?
370
00:14:04,618 --> 00:14:05,786
And Lucille rushed to the hospital.
371
00:14:05,828 --> 00:14:07,912
What happened? Where's my son?
372
00:14:07,954 --> 00:14:10,207
Mrs. Bluth, your son went
down while piloting a plane
373
00:14:10,249 --> 00:14:13,085
- over Afghanistan.
- Oh, my God...
374
00:14:13,126 --> 00:14:15,671
He deserves a big hand for
that and we gave him one.
375
00:14:15,713 --> 00:14:18,591
I'm afraid, besides that,
there's nothing we can do.
376
00:14:22,052 --> 00:14:23,220
(Buster gasps)
377
00:14:23,262 --> 00:14:24,597
Hi, Mother.
378
00:14:25,723 --> 00:14:26,932
Well, you look fine.
379
00:14:26,973 --> 00:14:28,267
The doctor said you went down
380
00:14:28,308 --> 00:14:30,644
while piloting a plane over Afghanistan.
381
00:14:30,686 --> 00:14:32,855
Oh, yeah, that plane was in Afghanistan.
382
00:14:32,897 --> 00:14:34,981
It seems the Army had taken advantage
383
00:14:35,023 --> 00:14:37,735
of Buster's childlike interest in games.
384
00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:40,738
This is so much more
fun than "Guess the Fur."
385
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:44,032
And his childlike inability to distinguish
386
00:14:44,074 --> 00:14:46,452
- between games and reality.
- Oh! (laughs)
387
00:14:46,493 --> 00:14:49,705
So they set him up as a drone pilot here.
388
00:14:49,747 --> 00:14:52,332
Want to go to lunch, Private Bluth?
389
00:14:52,374 --> 00:14:55,669
Not till I take out the hospital!
390
00:14:55,711 --> 00:14:57,630
I tell you, this kid's amazing.
391
00:14:57,671 --> 00:15:01,216
If I had him back in the '60s,
Cuba would be the 51st state.
392
00:15:01,258 --> 00:15:04,428
You're not gonna get away
from me, little nurse! Aah!
393
00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:06,555
He had been playing for 47 straight hours.
394
00:15:06,597 --> 00:15:10,225
Take that, Taliban
wedding! (laughing wildly)
395
00:15:10,267 --> 00:15:13,353
But like anyone who plays
video games for too long,
396
00:15:13,395 --> 00:15:14,939
he started to make mistakes.
397
00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:17,775
Hey, Bluth, you just took
out an art museum in Madrid.
398
00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:19,568
Oh, you can go to Spain in this thing?
399
00:15:19,610 --> 00:15:20,945
Maybe you should take a break.
400
00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:22,070
You could've hurt some innocent people.
401
00:15:22,112 --> 00:15:23,155
Innocent people?!
402
00:15:23,196 --> 00:15:24,865
(gasps) You mean I've been
403
00:15:24,907 --> 00:15:26,492
hurting guilty people?!
404
00:15:26,533 --> 00:15:29,411
But Buster was a peaceful man.
405
00:15:29,453 --> 00:15:30,788
(Buster screaming) Oh, God!
406
00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:31,956
Pilot down!
407
00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:33,666
- (alarm wailing)
- Medic!
408
00:15:33,707 --> 00:15:35,501
It was the kind of emergency
409
00:15:35,542 --> 00:15:36,919
that the drone pilot paramedics
had long been waiting for.
410
00:15:36,961 --> 00:15:38,295
I got a man down!
411
00:15:38,337 --> 00:15:39,839
Sorry we're late.
412
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:41,548
Some kid swallowed an
eye at the Build-A-Bear.
413
00:15:41,590 --> 00:15:43,926
Why do they have us at a mini-mall?
414
00:15:43,968 --> 00:15:45,177
- (defibrillator clacks, whines)
- It was the first
415
00:15:45,218 --> 00:15:46,428
known injury to a drone pilot
416
00:15:46,470 --> 00:15:48,180
and the Army took it seriously.
417
00:15:48,221 --> 00:15:50,850
Apparently, no one told him
that they were real planes.
418
00:15:50,891 --> 00:15:52,267
If this guy comes after us,
419
00:15:52,309 --> 00:15:54,478
they could pull funding
for the whole program.
420
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,772
So, how do we buy off ol' One Arm?
421
00:15:56,814 --> 00:15:59,107
First we gotta find something he needs.
422
00:15:59,149 --> 00:16:01,401
Well, we do have the bionics program.
423
00:16:01,443 --> 00:16:03,195
Ice cream.
424
00:16:03,236 --> 00:16:05,572
Maybe we shouldn't be discussing this here.
425
00:16:05,614 --> 00:16:07,867
Yeah, I think we're at those kids' table.
426
00:16:09,159 --> 00:16:10,661
So you fell out of a chair,
427
00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:12,913
and for this, the government
gives you applause?
428
00:16:12,955 --> 00:16:15,374
No... a big hand.
429
00:16:15,415 --> 00:16:18,878
I thought I recognized
that little son of a bitch.
430
00:16:18,919 --> 00:16:20,963
This is why you can't keep a job
431
00:16:21,005 --> 00:16:22,297
(muffled): at one hospital!
432
00:16:22,339 --> 00:16:25,843
Why does it have to be so big?
433
00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:28,804
Well, they said the
miniaturization comes later.
434
00:16:28,846 --> 00:16:32,182
I mean, you remember how big
your first cell phone was.
435
00:16:32,224 --> 00:16:34,018
That was a phone.
436
00:16:34,059 --> 00:16:36,562
This looks like you're pointing
to a place that buys your gold.
437
00:16:36,603 --> 00:16:38,647
I haven't learned how to control it.
438
00:16:38,689 --> 00:16:40,232
They're gonna work with me.
439
00:16:40,273 --> 00:16:42,526
So you had me come out
here under false pretenses?
440
00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:44,945
You wouldn't come here any other way!
441
00:16:44,987 --> 00:16:46,572
You haven't seen me in a year.
442
00:16:46,613 --> 00:16:49,241
It's why I went to Army... to win you back.
443
00:16:49,282 --> 00:16:51,535
You have to forgive me!
444
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:54,038
It's not about forgiving
you. Although I don't.
445
00:16:54,079 --> 00:16:55,998
- (groans)
- You need to grow up, Buster,
446
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,667
because I can't take care of you anymore.
447
00:16:58,709 --> 00:17:01,545
I need to "get away-get away."
448
00:17:01,587 --> 00:17:03,839
You're hopelessly hopeless, Buster.
449
00:17:03,881 --> 00:17:06,132
It's as if they wrote
that song for my own son.
450
00:17:06,174 --> 00:17:09,177
- Hm?
- I'm glad you have a new hand.
451
00:17:09,219 --> 00:17:11,388
But you need to find
someone else to hold it.
452
00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:14,016
Tell the prison limo to come around!
453
00:17:14,058 --> 00:17:17,227
Fine! I got my own family now... Army!
454
00:17:17,269 --> 00:17:18,771
And they want me!
455
00:17:18,812 --> 00:17:20,022
You guys want me, right?
456
00:17:20,064 --> 00:17:21,648
Oh, yeah. They're not gonna invest
457
00:17:21,690 --> 00:17:23,358
this kind of money without
wanting you for keeps.
458
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,527
- (laughing): Oh, good.
- Once you learn how to use
459
00:17:25,569 --> 00:17:26,779
that thing, they're going to turn you
460
00:17:26,820 --> 00:17:27,738
into a killing monster.
461
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:29,489
Monster... ?
462
00:17:29,531 --> 00:17:31,033
This doesn't make me look sexy.
463
00:17:31,075 --> 00:17:32,242
Throw it out.
464
00:17:32,284 --> 00:17:34,369
Well, that explains the photo shoot.
465
00:17:35,704 --> 00:17:37,915
And so Buster began a rehab program
466
00:17:37,957 --> 00:17:39,499
he was terrified to succeed at.
467
00:17:39,541 --> 00:17:41,085
Open the cabinet, please.
468
00:17:41,126 --> 00:17:45,547
Mm... mm... mm... mm!
469
00:17:45,589 --> 00:17:46,840
Oh...
470
00:17:46,882 --> 00:17:48,258
Too hard.
471
00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:49,802
Uh, I think that was too hard.
472
00:17:49,843 --> 00:17:51,011
- Okay.
- Yeah.
473
00:17:51,053 --> 00:17:53,764
Let's just grab that toothpaste.
474
00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:55,223
Okay.
475
00:17:55,265 --> 00:17:57,059
- Use your new hand.
- Okay.
476
00:17:57,101 --> 00:17:58,769
Oh!
477
00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:00,353
I got some on you.
478
00:18:00,395 --> 00:18:02,522
Uh... yeah.
479
00:18:02,564 --> 00:18:05,317
- You did get some on me.
- Yeah.
480
00:18:05,358 --> 00:18:07,736
- Too hard?
- Buster seemed slow to master the challenges.
481
00:18:07,778 --> 00:18:10,196
GUNNER: Yeah, that's... that's on her.
482
00:18:10,238 --> 00:18:12,365
- He got a little...
- It was too hard.
483
00:18:12,407 --> 00:18:13,951
I think it was, as well.
484
00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:16,870
Let's go ahead and fast-forward
through the commercials.
485
00:18:16,912 --> 00:18:18,371
Okay, that's too fa... okay, stop.
486
00:18:18,413 --> 00:18:19,873
Well, there's Jon Cryer.
487
00:18:19,915 --> 00:18:21,249
Stop! That's Jon Cryer!
488
00:18:21,291 --> 00:18:22,459
(remote blipping)
489
00:18:22,501 --> 00:18:24,003
Well, look at that...
490
00:18:24,044 --> 00:18:25,879
we're back at the
Progressive Insurance lady.
491
00:18:25,921 --> 00:18:28,340
I'm better off just
watching the commercials!
492
00:18:28,381 --> 00:18:29,883
Don't say that.
493
00:18:29,925 --> 00:18:31,969
But behind the two-way mirror,
494
00:18:32,011 --> 00:18:34,262
hope wasn't in abundance.
495
00:18:34,304 --> 00:18:36,974
Hope this guy likes the music
acts on Saturday Night Live
496
00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:39,267
because he's gonna be
watching a lot of them.
497
00:18:39,309 --> 00:18:41,687
- How many remotes do we have?
- That was the only one.
498
00:18:41,728 --> 00:18:43,772
There's seven monitors
here... we have one remote.
499
00:18:43,814 --> 00:18:45,357
Do we have anybody from Pinky Team?
500
00:18:45,398 --> 00:18:47,151
PHYSICAL THERAPIST: Guys, he can't do this!
501
00:18:47,192 --> 00:18:49,987
And around week five,
the Army finally realized
502
00:18:50,029 --> 00:18:52,739
that Buster was in no hurry to leave.
503
00:18:52,781 --> 00:18:54,825
Aah! I blew it again!
504
00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:56,242
I'll never do it right!
505
00:18:56,284 --> 00:18:58,704
I'm a monst...
506
00:18:58,745 --> 00:19:00,372
Do you have any ice cream?
507
00:19:00,413 --> 00:19:02,541
Maybe it would work with ice cream.
508
00:19:02,582 --> 00:19:04,292
And now he wants ice cream.
509
00:19:04,334 --> 00:19:06,378
He's using us.
510
00:19:06,419 --> 00:19:08,714
Yeah, it might be time for the Q-test.
511
00:19:08,755 --> 00:19:10,507
The Q-test?
512
00:19:14,094 --> 00:19:15,804
Oh...
513
00:19:15,846 --> 00:19:17,764
I'm sorry, we're running behind
with your testing, Buster.
514
00:19:17,806 --> 00:19:19,516
We'll just be a few more minutes.
515
00:19:19,558 --> 00:19:21,143
Okay.
516
00:19:21,185 --> 00:19:22,978
(gasps) Oh... well... !
517
00:19:23,020 --> 00:19:25,022
And it was then that Gunner learned why
518
00:19:25,064 --> 00:19:26,899
- it was called the Q-test.
- Oh.
519
00:19:26,940 --> 00:19:29,776
Aren't you the "cu-test"?
520
00:19:29,818 --> 00:19:33,947
COLONEL: Now, he can't see
us at all... that's correct?
521
00:19:33,989 --> 00:19:35,908
- (cat meowing)
- BUSTER: I know!
522
00:19:35,949 --> 00:19:37,617
GUNNER: Why wouldn't he be able to see us?
523
00:19:37,659 --> 00:19:40,120
- BUSTER: You looking around?
- Because it's a mirror.
524
00:19:40,162 --> 00:19:42,414
No, it's a window.
525
00:19:42,455 --> 00:19:44,332
- (cat purring)
- BUSTER: Oh, hi.
526
00:19:44,374 --> 00:19:48,587
COLONEL: Okay, let's take it down.
527
00:19:48,628 --> 00:19:50,172
BUSTER: I know, I know...
528
00:19:51,339 --> 00:19:53,092
COLONEL: Send in the authority figure.
529
00:19:53,133 --> 00:19:55,468
- Hi.
- (cat purring)(Door opens)
530
00:19:55,510 --> 00:19:57,303
(clears throat)
531
00:19:57,345 --> 00:19:59,681
How are you managing
with that hand, solider?
532
00:19:59,723 --> 00:20:01,183
(Buster gasps)
533
00:20:01,225 --> 00:20:03,102
(cat meowing, Buster whimpering)
534
00:20:03,143 --> 00:20:05,311
(cat meowing)
535
00:20:07,981 --> 00:20:10,275
(Buster whimpers)
536
00:20:13,445 --> 00:20:16,073
Buster was being discharged from the Army.
537
00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:17,991
So, where am I supposed to go?
538
00:20:18,033 --> 00:20:19,492
What am I supposed to do?
539
00:20:19,534 --> 00:20:21,494
I... I have nowhere to live.
540
00:20:21,536 --> 00:20:24,289
You should've thought about that
before you let that cat live.
541
00:20:24,330 --> 00:20:26,291
- And that's when he met Ophelia Love...
- Oh, I'm sorry.
542
00:20:26,332 --> 00:20:28,794
The devoted wife of the
candidate Herbert Love,
543
00:20:28,835 --> 00:20:30,587
- who was on a tour...
- I have nowhere to go.
544
00:20:30,629 --> 00:20:32,464
- Of the Veterans' Hospital.
- Excuse me.
545
00:20:32,505 --> 00:20:34,174
You're a veteran and
you have nowhere to go?
546
00:20:34,216 --> 00:20:35,592
Oh, it's not Army's fault.
547
00:20:35,634 --> 00:20:37,385
I'm a monster.
548
00:20:37,427 --> 00:20:39,179
And what makes you think you're a monster?
549
00:20:39,221 --> 00:20:41,181
What do you see when you look at this?
550
00:20:41,223 --> 00:20:45,060
I see a veteran whose
hand I'd like to shake.
551
00:20:45,102 --> 00:20:47,062
Not that one.
552
00:20:47,104 --> 00:20:49,439
I think you should meet my husband.
553
00:20:49,481 --> 00:20:51,357
We may have something for you.
554
00:20:51,399 --> 00:20:53,860
Perfect! Wait, you didn't
say "nothing," did you?
555
00:20:53,902 --> 00:20:56,905
- Something.
- "Something." Got it.
556
00:20:56,947 --> 00:20:58,490
HERBERT: Look how big his hand is.
557
00:20:58,531 --> 00:21:00,159
But Herbert would be less enthusiastic.
558
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:01,785
And you want him to live with us?
559
00:21:01,827 --> 00:21:03,954
Well, he's a vet, Herbert.
560
00:21:03,996 --> 00:21:06,081
And you yourself said you need something
561
00:21:06,123 --> 00:21:08,374
to compete with the woman
you're running against.
562
00:21:08,416 --> 00:21:12,129
Lucille 2 had recently adopted
a Hispanic boy named Perfecto.
563
00:21:12,171 --> 00:21:13,755
And since you're never around, I mean,
564
00:21:13,797 --> 00:21:15,257
he could help me with the boys.
565
00:21:15,299 --> 00:21:17,634
It's like that movie The Blind Side.
566
00:21:17,676 --> 00:21:21,763
I suppose we could use
a Blind Side Monster.
567
00:21:21,805 --> 00:21:24,266
Well, we shouldn't call him a monster.
568
00:21:24,308 --> 00:21:26,226
That's why I love you, Ophelia.
569
00:21:26,268 --> 00:21:31,190
You've got a heart as big as
that Blind Side Monster's hand.
570
00:21:31,231 --> 00:21:32,858
(boy screaming)
571
00:21:32,899 --> 00:21:34,067
- (gasping)
- Oh!
572
00:21:34,109 --> 00:21:36,069
And so it was decided
573
00:21:36,111 --> 00:21:38,197
Buster was to stay with the Love family.
574
00:21:38,238 --> 00:21:41,241
He's fine. He's fine. He's fine.
575
00:21:41,283 --> 00:21:43,076
- Welcome to the family.
- Oh!
576
00:21:43,118 --> 00:21:45,162
He'd found a home at last.
577
00:21:45,204 --> 00:21:47,039
- Oh!
- Oh! Uh-uh, uh-uh!
578
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:49,791
(all laughing)
579
00:21:49,833 --> 00:21:51,584
In the following weeks,
Buster came in handy
580
00:21:51,626 --> 00:21:53,295
to the entire Love family:
581
00:21:53,337 --> 00:21:55,797
- Helping the boys at school...
- (School bell ringing)
582
00:21:55,839 --> 00:21:59,259
This table is for National
Honor Society members only.
583
00:21:59,301 --> 00:22:00,468
Really.
584
00:22:00,510 --> 00:22:02,595
Well, what about these two guys?
585
00:22:02,637 --> 00:22:03,889
Were they invited?
586
00:22:03,930 --> 00:22:05,182
Light drizzle...
587
00:22:05,224 --> 00:22:06,850
and thunder.
588
00:22:06,892 --> 00:22:10,020
- What?!
- See, light drizzle will just annoy you
589
00:22:10,062 --> 00:22:14,149
but, you see, thunder... will "F" you up!
590
00:22:14,191 --> 00:22:16,818
This got the attention of Perfecto Telles,
591
00:22:16,860 --> 00:22:20,572
vice president of the
student anti-bullying squad.
592
00:22:20,613 --> 00:22:23,242
Buster even received a
badge from an undercover cop
593
00:22:23,283 --> 00:22:24,701
that was posing as a teacher.
594
00:22:24,743 --> 00:22:27,453
You're never too old
to stand up to a bully.
595
00:22:27,495 --> 00:22:30,290
Whether he's an attention
hog who looks just like you,
596
00:22:30,332 --> 00:22:32,084
or whether he's half your size.
597
00:22:32,125 --> 00:22:35,295
(growls, giggles, screams)
598
00:22:35,337 --> 00:22:38,006
He used his finely-honed
skills as a doting son
599
00:22:38,048 --> 00:22:39,383
to give the long-neglected Ophelia
600
00:22:39,423 --> 00:22:41,176
some much-deserved attention.
601
00:22:41,218 --> 00:22:42,761
Pour in the liquor...
602
00:22:42,802 --> 00:22:44,388
Don't want the boys to see...
603
00:22:44,428 --> 00:22:46,265
You throw in some cola...
604
00:22:46,306 --> 00:22:48,474
Got a Coke and Hennessy!
605
00:22:48,516 --> 00:22:49,935
(laughs)
606
00:22:49,976 --> 00:22:51,728
Just for you, Mother Love.
607
00:22:51,770 --> 00:22:53,313
- Buster...
- Mm...
608
00:22:53,355 --> 00:22:55,899
You are the most considerate
man I've ever met.
609
00:22:55,941 --> 00:22:58,944
Oh, stop! You're embarrassing me!
610
00:22:58,985 --> 00:23:00,653
And sweet and...
611
00:23:00,695 --> 00:23:02,739
No, I'm serious... stop, stop.
612
00:23:02,781 --> 00:23:04,032
But your other hand is waving me on.
613
00:23:04,074 --> 00:23:05,700
Oh, is that going again?
614
00:23:05,742 --> 00:23:07,286
I think it's on demo.
615
00:23:07,327 --> 00:23:09,371
Do you have a pencil or a paper clip?
616
00:23:09,413 --> 00:23:11,790
And he helped Herbert
on the campaign trail.
617
00:23:11,831 --> 00:23:14,042
Let me show you what a
government handout looks like.
618
00:23:14,084 --> 00:23:15,459
Hold your government hand out.
619
00:23:15,501 --> 00:23:19,089
Yeah! And let's give
freedom from government
620
00:23:19,131 --> 00:23:20,924
a big thumbs-up!
621
00:23:20,966 --> 00:23:23,467
Although the hadn't
achieved complete mastery.
622
00:23:23,509 --> 00:23:25,720
- Come on, Buster, dance!
- I don't want to dance.
623
00:23:25,762 --> 00:23:27,639
Come on, dance, Buster!
624
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:29,057
Buster was enjoying his new role
625
00:23:29,099 --> 00:23:31,601
as a symbol of government waste.
626
00:23:31,643 --> 00:23:33,477
It's like I said about contraception:
627
00:23:33,519 --> 00:23:35,521
If you want me to pay for her diaphragm,
628
00:23:35,563 --> 00:23:39,359
- I get to put my hand in her...
- Shoe!
629
00:23:39,401 --> 00:23:41,987
Nice stop, Blind Side Monster.
630
00:23:42,028 --> 00:23:44,281
Buster... Blind Side Buster.
631
00:23:44,323 --> 00:23:46,866
And he was feeling more
confident every day.
632
00:23:46,908 --> 00:23:48,160
Mm!
633
00:23:48,201 --> 00:23:49,619
HERBERT: Okay...
634
00:23:49,661 --> 00:23:52,080
Give him a big hand back!
635
00:23:52,122 --> 00:23:53,790
(applause)
636
00:23:53,832 --> 00:23:55,125
Arguably, too confident.
637
00:23:55,167 --> 00:23:58,128
HERBERT: Hey!
638
00:23:58,170 --> 00:23:59,587
(Buster giggling)
639
00:23:59,629 --> 00:24:00,630
Okay, hey, hey... Oh-ho!
640
00:24:00,672 --> 00:24:02,966
BUSTER: Hah! Hm! (giggles)
641
00:24:03,008 --> 00:24:04,468
Although, after this appearance,
642
00:24:04,508 --> 00:24:07,762
he spent a lot less time with Herbert.
643
00:24:07,804 --> 00:24:10,974
And a lot more time with Ophelia.
644
00:24:11,016 --> 00:24:12,976
- (people screaming)
- Which is what led to this.
645
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:18,690
That's funny, no smoke came out.
646
00:24:18,731 --> 00:24:20,275
Smoke?
647
00:24:20,317 --> 00:24:21,485
Wait, what just happened?
648
00:24:21,525 --> 00:24:23,278
This.
649
00:24:25,864 --> 00:24:27,491
Okay, okay, okay.
650
00:24:27,531 --> 00:24:29,533
So you don't think that the next level
651
00:24:29,575 --> 00:24:31,535
is adult adoption, do you?
652
00:24:31,577 --> 00:24:33,997
Come on, Buster.
653
00:24:34,039 --> 00:24:36,540
You've been flirting with me since day one.
654
00:24:36,582 --> 00:24:37,541
What?
655
00:24:37,583 --> 00:24:39,002
Bringing me these flowers,
656
00:24:39,044 --> 00:24:41,587
offering to undress me.
657
00:24:41,629 --> 00:24:43,048
What about the singing?
658
00:24:43,089 --> 00:24:47,427
"Sealed with a kiss" through
the door while I bathed?
659
00:24:47,469 --> 00:24:48,970
Right.
660
00:24:49,012 --> 00:24:50,638
Mother stuff. (chuckles)
661
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:53,725
(whispers): I mean, you're married.
662
00:24:57,687 --> 00:24:59,147
What is this?
663
00:25:00,773 --> 00:25:04,319
That is my husband, with a prostitute.
664
00:25:04,361 --> 00:25:08,781
I've worn a captain's hat with
someone who had hair like that.
665
00:25:08,823 --> 00:25:10,867
But I... I can't...
666
00:25:10,909 --> 00:25:13,953
I mean, you're like a mother to me.
667
00:25:13,995 --> 00:25:18,417
You can either be a son or a lover to me.
668
00:25:18,458 --> 00:25:21,044
- (gasps)
- And I already have two sons.
669
00:25:21,086 --> 00:25:23,505
And perhaps it was the fear
that she'd throw him out,
670
00:25:23,547 --> 00:25:25,006
or he finally did grow up,
671
00:25:25,048 --> 00:25:28,676
but that night, Buster acted like a man.
672
00:25:31,555 --> 00:25:33,681
NARRATOR: After spending
the night with Ophelia Love,
673
00:25:33,723 --> 00:25:35,267
Buster proudly went to visit his mother.
674
00:25:35,308 --> 00:25:36,684
I came here to thank you.
675
00:25:36,726 --> 00:25:41,481
You were trying to push
me out of the nest...
676
00:25:41,523 --> 00:25:43,066
and you were right.
677
00:25:43,108 --> 00:25:44,443
- Really?
- Yes.
678
00:25:44,484 --> 00:25:45,735
I've grown.
679
00:25:45,777 --> 00:25:47,862
And I'm in love.
680
00:25:47,904 --> 00:25:49,573
Hamster or turtle?
681
00:25:49,613 --> 00:25:50,990
(laughs): No, Mother.
682
00:25:51,032 --> 00:25:52,075
Hamsters are gross.
683
00:25:52,117 --> 00:25:53,410
It's a female.
684
00:25:53,452 --> 00:25:55,203
Human. Female human. Whole thing.
685
00:25:55,245 --> 00:25:58,164
So your parental
responsibilities are complete.
686
00:25:58,206 --> 00:25:59,249
Hot.
687
00:25:59,291 --> 00:26:02,461
I no longer need you.
688
00:26:02,502 --> 00:26:03,920
Well, you don't have to go that far.
689
00:26:03,962 --> 00:26:05,755
I'm not a mother boy anymore.
690
00:26:06,881 --> 00:26:09,593
I'm a mother man.
691
00:26:14,389 --> 00:26:15,932
Use your good hand.
692
00:26:17,934 --> 00:26:19,769
Guards!
693
00:26:21,313 --> 00:26:23,731
And on his way back to his new love,
694
00:26:23,773 --> 00:26:25,942
Buster ran into Michael,
695
00:26:25,984 --> 00:26:27,777
who was trying to get the life story rights
696
00:26:27,819 --> 00:26:30,489
from one of the few
remaining family members
697
00:26:30,530 --> 00:26:32,949
he hadn't thrown out of the movie.
698
00:26:32,991 --> 00:26:33,950
What about Mom?
699
00:26:33,992 --> 00:26:35,368
I have her, but I'm about to
700
00:26:35,410 --> 00:26:37,870
throw it in her face when I see her,
701
00:26:37,912 --> 00:26:39,414
and I can't go to my son.
702
00:26:39,456 --> 00:26:41,958
Well, I have nothing to be ashamed about.
703
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,461
I'm in love.
704
00:26:44,503 --> 00:26:47,506
And do you want to hear
something so surprising?
705
00:26:47,547 --> 00:26:50,049
She started out as my mother figure.
706
00:26:50,091 --> 00:26:52,051
- Not surprising.
- And he returned back
707
00:26:52,093 --> 00:26:55,388
to his love nest to tell
Ophelia the good news.
708
00:26:55,430 --> 00:26:56,931
I'm out of the thing!
709
00:26:56,973 --> 00:26:58,350
How did yours go?
710
00:26:58,391 --> 00:27:00,477
- It's over.
- (Sighs)
711
00:27:00,519 --> 00:27:02,103
I talked to Herbert, I told
him everything about us,
712
00:27:02,145 --> 00:27:03,104
and it's over.
713
00:27:03,146 --> 00:27:05,649
Mm. I know it's scary.
714
00:27:05,689 --> 00:27:08,360
I just got out of a long relationship, too.
715
00:27:08,401 --> 00:27:09,611
But I'm here for you.
716
00:27:09,653 --> 00:27:12,531
And, girl, I ain't going nowhere.
717
00:27:12,572 --> 00:27:14,240
I need you to leave.
718
00:27:14,282 --> 00:27:15,699
Mm, so let's get it o... !
719
00:27:15,741 --> 00:27:17,035
Wait, what's happening?
720
00:27:17,076 --> 00:27:18,786
He wants to try to change.
721
00:27:18,828 --> 00:27:21,540
He wants a second chance,
and I want to give it to him.
722
00:27:21,581 --> 00:27:23,749
What...
723
00:27:23,791 --> 00:27:26,710
So you... you were just
using me to hurt him?
724
00:27:26,752 --> 00:27:29,047
Yes.
725
00:27:29,088 --> 00:27:30,298
(whispers): Thank you.
726
00:27:30,340 --> 00:27:32,300
But what... what about me?
727
00:27:32,342 --> 00:27:34,219
What happens to me?
728
00:27:34,260 --> 00:27:37,556
I... I certainly can't go
back to you as my mother.
729
00:27:37,597 --> 00:27:40,392
After I've zipped down, you
can't expect me to zip up!
730
00:27:40,433 --> 00:27:41,601
I know that.
731
00:27:41,643 --> 00:27:43,102
But you have to leave.
732
00:27:43,144 --> 00:27:45,522
Oh, no, I'm okay with the mothering.
733
00:27:45,564 --> 00:27:47,315
I mean, he had you first, I'm here to stay.
734
00:27:47,357 --> 00:27:49,108
It's just a little
mother/son bump in the road.
735
00:27:49,150 --> 00:27:52,070
Mother, I ain't going nowhere.
736
00:27:52,111 --> 00:27:55,281
Your hand is broken again.
737
00:27:55,323 --> 00:27:58,826
No, it's just my heart.
738
00:27:58,868 --> 00:28:01,621
Oh, it's my hand, too, actually.
739
00:28:01,663 --> 00:28:02,706
I'm sorry, Buster.
740
00:28:02,746 --> 00:28:03,873
Buster was blindsided.
741
00:28:03,915 --> 00:28:05,791
Ophelia!
742
00:28:05,833 --> 00:28:07,419
Tell me this.
743
00:28:07,460 --> 00:28:08,878
Who is a better lover?
744
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:10,422
- He is.
- He is. Okay.
745
00:28:11,464 --> 00:28:12,965
What about son?!
746
00:28:13,007 --> 00:28:15,885
Buster was hurt.
747
00:28:17,845 --> 00:28:20,223
And perhaps that's why he availed himself
748
00:28:20,265 --> 00:28:23,017
to the photos of Herbert
and the prostitute.
749
00:28:24,644 --> 00:28:26,688
And Buster, furious,
750
00:28:26,730 --> 00:28:30,609
decided to expose Herbert himself.
751
00:28:30,650 --> 00:28:31,984
(wailing)
752
00:28:32,026 --> 00:28:34,320
But not before using the wrong hand
753
00:28:34,362 --> 00:28:36,114
to punch a picture of Herbert.
754
00:28:36,155 --> 00:28:37,616
Stupid Bust... !
755
00:28:39,867 --> 00:28:41,453
Unfortunately, it was the night of Cinco,
756
00:28:41,494 --> 00:28:44,581
and no one was home to find him.
757
00:28:44,623 --> 00:28:47,333
Sad. Sad.
758
00:28:47,375 --> 00:28:48,418
(grunts)
759
00:28:52,756 --> 00:28:56,301
Buster came to and rushed
to Cinco to share the photos
760
00:28:56,342 --> 00:28:58,386
with Herbert Love's political enemy,
761
00:28:58,428 --> 00:29:02,390
when he ran into Tobias,
who enlisted Buster's help
762
00:29:02,432 --> 00:29:06,603
for a musical that was becoming
less fantastic every minute.
763
00:29:06,645 --> 00:29:08,896
But I've got to find Lucille 2,
I've got to give her pictures.
764
00:29:08,938 --> 00:29:11,190
- I don't know the songs.
- It's prerecorded.
765
00:29:11,232 --> 00:29:13,318
You're a monster, you
don't have to be any good.
766
00:29:13,359 --> 00:29:15,695
- What?
- Now just go Thing your heart out
767
00:29:15,737 --> 00:29:17,905
and don't be put off by
the freakishly large...
768
00:29:17,947 --> 00:29:19,365
What... Oh, God!
769
00:29:19,407 --> 00:29:20,742
Okay, well, well, good.
770
00:29:20,784 --> 00:29:22,494
Then just the, uh, the one glove will do,
771
00:29:22,535 --> 00:29:24,870
and, uh... perfecto!
772
00:29:24,912 --> 00:29:26,038
(chuckles)
773
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:27,624
As fate would have it,
774
00:29:27,666 --> 00:29:30,502
Perfecto Telles was also
in need of a monster.
775
00:29:30,543 --> 00:29:33,129
He's a bully. So I want
you to "bad cop" him
776
00:29:33,171 --> 00:29:34,172
for me a little, okay?
777
00:29:34,213 --> 00:29:35,507
Yeah, yeah.
778
00:29:35,548 --> 00:29:36,882
And that's when he heard his name.
779
00:29:36,924 --> 00:29:38,718
Perfecto!
780
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:41,012
And he's a real bully.
781
00:29:41,053 --> 00:29:43,222
He's taking money from this
innocent young high school girl.
782
00:29:43,264 --> 00:29:44,641
Ugh, I don't think I can help you.
783
00:29:44,683 --> 00:29:46,476
- Please.
- (Whispers): I don't want to be
784
00:29:46,518 --> 00:29:48,353
- a monster anymore.
- Can't you just
785
00:29:48,394 --> 00:29:51,230
show him a little thunder?
Just to scare him a bit?
786
00:29:51,272 --> 00:29:54,150
And that's when Buster saw
the woman he'd come for.
787
00:29:54,192 --> 00:29:55,694
I'm sorry.
788
00:29:55,735 --> 00:29:58,070
I have to take care of something.
789
00:29:59,572 --> 00:30:00,824
Lucille 2.
790
00:30:00,865 --> 00:30:03,201
- I've been looking for you.
- Buster!
791
00:30:03,242 --> 00:30:04,494
You look different;
something's happened to you.
792
00:30:04,536 --> 00:30:05,578
Yes.
793
00:30:05,620 --> 00:30:07,455
I've been with a black woman.
794
00:30:07,497 --> 00:30:08,914
I was talking about your hand.
795
00:30:08,956 --> 00:30:11,334
Oh. This huge thing? Yeah, it's new.
796
00:30:11,376 --> 00:30:13,378
Of course, the week after
I got it, the six came out.
797
00:30:13,419 --> 00:30:15,129
You can play a flute with that one.
798
00:30:15,171 --> 00:30:16,381
It comes with a flute!
799
00:30:16,422 --> 00:30:17,841
But I'm not here about that.
800
00:30:17,882 --> 00:30:19,759
I'm here about this.
801
00:30:19,801 --> 00:30:21,511
What is this?
802
00:30:21,553 --> 00:30:25,097
Oh, just pictures of Herbert
Love with a lady of the night.
803
00:30:25,139 --> 00:30:29,018
And he's gotten himself in some
pretty hot ham water this time.
804
00:30:29,060 --> 00:30:32,689
I want you to humiliate
him and win the election.
805
00:30:32,731 --> 00:30:34,524
That's my wig.
806
00:30:34,566 --> 00:30:36,984
Buster, this is priceless;
why are you giving it to me?
807
00:30:37,026 --> 00:30:38,486
Because I want to hurt him.
808
00:30:38,528 --> 00:30:40,864
I've never known you
to want to hurt anybody.
809
00:30:40,905 --> 00:30:43,742
Well, I hurt my mother, didn't I?
810
00:30:43,783 --> 00:30:45,993
I missed her trial, and
she cut me out of her life.
811
00:30:46,035 --> 00:30:47,620
- But I'm over that!
- Really?
812
00:30:47,662 --> 00:30:50,164
Then you have me to thank for that.
813
00:30:50,206 --> 00:30:52,500
- What do you mean?
- Oh, Buster,
814
00:30:52,542 --> 00:30:55,545
you think missing her
trial was an accident?
815
00:30:55,587 --> 00:30:57,505
Yes.
816
00:30:57,547 --> 00:30:59,131
Buster, I helped you with that.
817
00:30:59,173 --> 00:31:01,801
Although "helped" might not be
818
00:31:01,843 --> 00:31:03,386
the best description of what she did.
819
00:31:03,428 --> 00:31:05,513
In fact, she'd been laying in wait for him.
820
00:31:05,555 --> 00:31:07,807
Oh, Buster!
821
00:31:07,849 --> 00:31:09,934
Hello!
822
00:31:11,936 --> 00:31:14,773
And once she'd gotten
Buster into the apartment,
823
00:31:14,814 --> 00:31:16,900
she eschewed the all-natural
juice for the kind
824
00:31:16,941 --> 00:31:19,903
with cartoon animals
and riddles on the box.
825
00:31:21,613 --> 00:31:24,574
The type Buster had been
known to have a weakness for.
826
00:31:24,616 --> 00:31:26,451
Thank you.
827
00:31:26,492 --> 00:31:29,454
And soon, the partying was off the hook,
828
00:31:29,495 --> 00:31:31,748
with Buster drinking right out of the box.
829
00:31:31,790 --> 00:31:35,460
Oh, this is just like Mother's Day Eve!
830
00:31:35,501 --> 00:31:36,920
- (laughs)
- (Playing piano off-key)
831
00:31:36,961 --> 00:31:38,630
Although, at one point,
832
00:31:38,671 --> 00:31:41,006
he did have something close to an insight.
833
00:31:41,048 --> 00:31:43,050
I mean, how do you miss a sign like that?
834
00:31:43,092 --> 00:31:44,427
Oh.
835
00:31:47,096 --> 00:31:49,014
I was tinkling!
836
00:31:49,056 --> 00:31:50,182
(laughs)
837
00:31:50,224 --> 00:31:51,476
You kept me from mother?
838
00:31:51,517 --> 00:31:53,853
You sent her to prison?
839
00:31:53,895 --> 00:31:55,396
And this whole time, I thought about
840
00:31:55,438 --> 00:31:56,606
getting back together with you.
841
00:31:56,648 --> 00:31:58,483
Well, you're a little late, honey.
842
00:31:58,524 --> 00:32:01,360
I've been dating your father
for the past couple of weeks.
843
00:32:03,321 --> 00:32:04,656
(growls)
844
00:32:06,908 --> 00:32:08,576
Buster was in a whirl.
845
00:32:10,787 --> 00:32:14,248
Confused and betrayed, he
wanted to punch something.
846
00:32:14,290 --> 00:32:15,917
Which is why he went here.
847
00:32:15,959 --> 00:32:18,085
Hey! I need to punch something!
848
00:32:18,127 --> 00:32:20,379
Even if it is a poor little donkey.
849
00:32:20,421 --> 00:32:22,548
But it wasn't that kind of donkey punch.
850
00:32:22,590 --> 00:32:23,508
(gasps)
851
00:32:23,549 --> 00:32:25,551
Oh, I need some juice.
852
00:32:26,552 --> 00:32:28,053
(sighs)
853
00:32:28,095 --> 00:32:31,516
Perhaps uno mas, señor,
to feed to the fishes?
854
00:32:32,308 --> 00:32:33,309
Gene Parmesan.
855
00:32:33,351 --> 00:32:35,311
This is not my real job.
856
00:32:35,353 --> 00:32:37,438
And that's when Buster heard his target.
857
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:39,774
HERBERT: I got to go up and give my speech.
858
00:32:39,816 --> 00:32:41,860
You!
859
00:32:41,901 --> 00:32:44,111
Oh, hey, it's the Blind Side Monster.
860
00:32:44,153 --> 00:32:46,155
(yells)
861
00:32:46,197 --> 00:32:48,616
And so he blindsided him and became one.
862
00:32:48,658 --> 00:32:49,909
(shrieks)
863
00:32:49,951 --> 00:32:51,202
And it was amidst
864
00:32:51,243 --> 00:32:53,663
the rampaging of the blowback
865
00:32:53,705 --> 00:32:55,957
that a juiced-up Buster
noticed something horrifying.
866
00:32:55,999 --> 00:32:58,042
(firecrackers popping, whistling)
867
00:32:58,083 --> 00:33:00,670
(screaming)
868
00:33:00,712 --> 00:33:02,630
(gasps)
869
00:33:04,089 --> 00:33:05,633
(sobbing)
870
00:33:05,675 --> 00:33:07,760
(panting)
871
00:33:12,015 --> 00:33:13,641
Oh, no.
872
00:33:13,683 --> 00:33:16,477
I'm in the movie.
873
00:33:16,519 --> 00:33:18,646
(whimpers): Oh, no.
874
00:33:22,107 --> 00:33:23,985
(knocking)
875
00:33:24,027 --> 00:33:25,945
Buster tries to cover his tracks.
876
00:33:25,987 --> 00:33:26,863
Hey, nephew!
877
00:33:26,905 --> 00:33:28,155
- (screams)
- New hand.
878
00:33:28,197 --> 00:33:29,782
It's cool. That's cool.
879
00:33:29,824 --> 00:33:33,202
You know that super-duper
privacy software you have?
880
00:33:33,244 --> 00:33:35,287
Does that work on security cameras?
881
00:33:35,329 --> 00:33:36,247
Of course, yeah.
882
00:33:36,288 --> 00:33:37,582
Works on everything.
883
00:33:37,623 --> 00:33:38,666
May I borrow it?
884
00:33:38,708 --> 00:33:40,710
One second.
885
00:33:42,045 --> 00:33:44,005
Here you go, Uncle Buster. I put it on
886
00:33:44,047 --> 00:33:45,757
a hard drive for you. Just
please be careful with it.
887
00:33:45,798 --> 00:33:47,592
(laughs): Of course, of course.
888
00:33:47,633 --> 00:33:48,968
(crunching)
889
00:33:49,010 --> 00:33:50,595
(whimpers softly)
890
00:33:50,636 --> 00:33:53,097
Have you got one with a case?
891
00:33:53,138 --> 00:33:54,557
BUSTER: Hey, Carl.
892
00:33:54,599 --> 00:33:55,767
Buster!
893
00:33:55,808 --> 00:33:57,476
And Buster visits
894
00:33:57,518 --> 00:34:00,312
a Balboa Towers guard
he'd known for many years
895
00:34:00,354 --> 00:34:01,940
for an impromptu lesson
896
00:34:01,981 --> 00:34:05,317
on how their footage
is gathered and stored.
897
00:34:05,359 --> 00:34:06,736
May I use your phone?
898
00:34:06,778 --> 00:34:09,238
But when Carl steps away,
899
00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:10,823
Buster goes into action
900
00:34:10,865 --> 00:34:13,826
and attempts to Fakeblock the footage.
901
00:34:13,868 --> 00:34:15,411
- (steady ticking)
- Oh.
902
00:34:15,453 --> 00:34:18,581
Sounds like it's working.
903
00:34:18,623 --> 00:34:19,582
(sighs)
904
00:34:19,624 --> 00:34:21,834
(grunting rhythmically)
905
00:34:21,876 --> 00:34:23,836
(steady ticking continues)
906
00:34:28,716 --> 00:34:30,051
(gasps)
907
00:34:30,093 --> 00:34:31,010
Buster.
908
00:34:31,052 --> 00:34:32,177
Hey, Carl.
909
00:34:32,219 --> 00:34:34,013
- Everything okay?
- Mm-hmm.
910
00:34:34,055 --> 00:34:35,180
Bye, Carl.
911
00:34:35,222 --> 00:34:36,891
- Bye-bye, Buster.
- Okay.
912
00:34:42,981 --> 00:34:45,149
(grunting rhythmically over video)
913
00:34:47,902 --> 00:34:50,529
What she did to this boy.
914
00:34:52,530 --> 00:35:02,530
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -