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[Ron Howard] Michael had decided
to leave town,
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and needed to get out of
his obligation to make a movie
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00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:19,430
-about his family.
-Michael! You had one job.
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00:00:19,510 --> 00:00:22,350
You had to get your son
to sign the releases!
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00:00:22,430 --> 00:00:25,100
Ron Howard wants to make
a heartfelt father-son drama
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00:00:25,190 --> 00:00:28,190
that has a good clean message
for his illegitimate daughter to star in.
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Don't pull this on me!
We've already reserved
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the soundstages
and he's already started paying off -the Hollywood Foreign Press.
-[Ron] No, they're great.
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-She's funny.
-I understand all of that.
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Okay, but Rebel is part of
the reason why I can't do this.
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My son is dating her,
and I don't want to get
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in the way. If I could talk to Ron,
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-No. No. I am in charge
-I'm sure he and I...
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of this movie right now.
My ass is on the line
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while Ron makes a real movie in Mexico.
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-Mexico, okay.
-You don't understand
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how hard it is in Hollywood right now.
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You have to crank out family dramas
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before they let you make
your dream superhero movie.
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Do you have a dream superhero movie?
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I want to remake Spider-Man 2,
the first one.
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Or something that at least has a hook.
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-...little girl! [screams]
-Oh, God! Damn it.
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My brother Buster has something
better than a hook.
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A robot hand. Okay?
And there's a cop looking for him.
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-Hmm.
-And they can't find Lucille 2.
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And I found Buster in the attic
in scuba gear.
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It's intriguing.
I think that's your movie.
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-That's your guy.
-No.
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Okay, I've got his release right here.
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[Ron] In fact,
it was the only family member's release...
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You're out of the movie.
You're out of the movie.
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-...he hadn't destroyed.
-You're out of the movie.
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You're out of the movie!
Know what?
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-You're out of the movie.
-Fine.
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Hey, Dad, how ya doing?
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-You're out of the movie!
-[Michael] With Buster,
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it is not father-son,
it's more mother-son.
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But if you could get Rebel
to play Lucille, you know...
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If she could go that unlikable.
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So that's his release right here.
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These are the other releases.
You need tape,
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but they're pretty clean.
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You're off the picture, Michael.
I'll give you your 500 bucks.
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-I get paid?
-They're Imagine dollars.
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They're redeemable in the gift shop.
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-That's Ron Howard.
-Brian's on the 50.
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It's a severance thing they're doing
because of Ron's need to be loved
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and Brian's conflict avoidance issues.
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[Ron] Michael had gotten into something
he wanted no part of.
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I'm sure they've got
a very old relationship.
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I could tell you stories.
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[Ron] But she wouldn't dare.
And after a quick stop downstairs...
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I think I'm gonna take
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one Gung Ho kimono, okay?
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Oh, and maybe a Brian wig. That's fun.
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-Oh, we only sell these as a set.
-[line ringing]
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They were getting very competitive.
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-Were they?
-[whispers] Brian was.
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...and another call to his son...
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[George Michael]
You've reached George Maharis.
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[in normal voice]
Did you want that Rebel Alley hair?
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Oh. Uh, no no.
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That's... that is mine.
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-I came with that. Uh, okay.
-...Michael headed home
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to tell Buster his plan
for making the family come back.
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I've sent away the fumigator,
and all you got to do,
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so we can declare you missing,
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00:02:46,490 --> 00:02:48,450
is stay out of sight for about 72 hours.
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-Milford style.
-Hmm?
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-I'm a Milford man, Michael.
-Yeah?
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Winner of 1982's Least Seen on Campus.
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I wish I could've seen their faces
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-at the ceremony.
-We just,
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you know, we gotta play this right
and, uh,
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00:03:02,430 --> 00:03:03,970
you gotta make sure you don't...
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-well, show your hand.
-This is one of only two things
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00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:10,480
the Army warns us about
when they issue these.
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Boy, Kitty does not know
what she's sitting on.
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Pal, I'm gonna call you from,
uh, wherever I end up,
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and you're gonna be great.
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I-I just don't understand why
I can't go with you, Michael.
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It's about teaching them a lesson.
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-Mm-hmm.
-So... And I just,
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I got in a big fight with my son,
you know.
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It was my fault. For so many years,
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I was his mom and dad, so...
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Maybe that's a role
I can play in your life.
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[stammers] Don't say--
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Mom. Mmm.
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I thought you were gonna say Dad.
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-Mm-mm.
-But, you know,
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it's a bummer
that you can't come with me, Buster,
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but you need to stay and talk to the cops.
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[Buster] Cops? What cops?
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00:03:46,970 --> 00:03:50,020
-Why would you bring the cops into this?
-They're already looking for you.
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00:03:50,100 --> 00:03:52,270
What? The cops are looking for me?
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-A cop, actually.
-I can't be talking to the cops.
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-Listen.
-I don't do good with the cops.
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I didn't do anything.
I don't know what's going on.
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-Relax.
-I ain't got no truck with no blue.
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Nothing to worry about.
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They're looking for Lucille Austero.
They want to question you.
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Why would I know anything about Lucille 2?
I hope you didn't say we were dating.
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Uh, well, I mean, you...
you did live with her.
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Well, I lived with Mother.
Did you think we were dating? [chuckles]
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-Question's been asked.
-[whimpers]
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-Do you actually know where Lucille 2 is?
-No!
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No! A thousand times, no!
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Is that what they'll ask?
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'Cause it's not like I'm gonna
remember details
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about where I saw her
and what we fought about.
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Oh, you fought?
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You kept me from Mother? You sent her to prison?
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[growls]
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Should I not say that?
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-I'm not good with the cops.
-Right.
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What if Lucille 2 doesn't come back?
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Don't worry about that.
She-- I just spoke to her today.
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-What? In person?
-Yeah. Uh, no.
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On the phone. She's fine.
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Well, you could've told me that
from the beginning.
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This is not about Lucille 2.
This is about teaching Mom
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-a lesson, you know.
-Oh.
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I mean, she just splits town
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and assumes
I'm gonna take care of everything?
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You know, this is just a way to, uh...
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-Give Mom a little scare.
-Yeah.
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Yeah. Let them race back into town
and save everyone for a change.
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00:05:08,390 --> 00:05:09,680
There's nothing to worry about.
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Just Mama's worst nightmare.
Buster's missing.
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Oh, and his bath has gone cold. [laughs]
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[Ron] Buster was on board.
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Maybe have a full psych panel
while you're in there, too.
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Oh, those things are so easy to beat.
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[Ron] Now the story of a wealthy family
who lost everything,
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and the one son who had no choice
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but to keep them all together.
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It's...
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Having traveled south of the border,
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George Sr.
and his son G.O.B. found themselves
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at a Mexican singles bar.
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-It's dead.
-Yeah. Second place in a row.
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[Ron] Each looking for an excuse
for their lack of heterosexual vigor.
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Where are all the blondes? It's just...
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[Ron] But it wasn't a blonde
G.O.B. was thinking about.
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00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:01,980
His recent rivalry
with magician Tony Wonder
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00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:05,280
had blossomed into a kind of friendship...
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00:06:06,190 --> 00:06:09,110
before contracting into a rivalry again.
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[both] Same.
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[Ron] Which suddenly became a...
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oh, let's say,
boarding school romance.
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Uh, this place is full of... [sighs]
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cincos and mayos.
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We need to find out
whatever the word for ten is.
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-Find that.
-It's ten.
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-Every culture uses ten.
-Ten. [Ron] It wouldn't matter if it was an 11,
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because George Sr., too,
had changed recently...
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It blew off at the CVS parking lot.
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00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:37,230
...having lost all sexual feeling of late
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-despite some very progressive therapy.
-Hopi Indians believe that this spot...
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-Okay.
-...when manipulated,
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can create sexual feeling.
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-That's my penis.
-You don't have to tell me.
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[Ron] Which sent him into his crisis...
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00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:49,950
[doctor] I can get hard,
so let's focus on you.
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...of masculinity.
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Hey, these are from the ladies
across the bar.
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-They're primas.
-[George Sr.] Primos, huh?
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00:06:57,330 --> 00:06:59,250
I've gotta be honest, I've seen better.
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Huh? Eh.
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No, it means cousins.
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One hates her father,
and the other hates her grandfather.
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[Ron] It seemed the cervezas
175
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weren't the only thing being handed
to the guys on a platter.
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I don't know about you,
but I'd prefer the thrill of the hunt,
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-as opposed to...
-[George Sr.] If we wait,
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00:07:17,060 --> 00:07:19,640
something a little better will come along.
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Thank you.
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Not trying to fall
head over heels here.
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Yeah. Yeah.
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00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:26,400
Not super eager to be, uh,
missing somebody.
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-Yeah.
-[chuckles] I mean, who you love.
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-Place gives me the creeps. Let's get out.
-Yeah. It's dead.
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[Ron] But back in America,
Michael was working on a way
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to make his runaway family return.
187
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So, we gotta wait about 48 hours
before we declare you missing,
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-and then they put out an APB.
-APB.
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"Aw, poor Buster."
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00:07:48,590 --> 00:07:49,630
-That's nice.
-Well...
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00:07:49,710 --> 00:07:52,340
You gotta lay low long enough
for Mom and Dad to hear about it.
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00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,720
And, pal, I would take you with me,
but truth is, I just,
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I don't know if I'm gonna come back.
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Oh. [chuckling]
195
00:08:05,150 --> 00:08:06,110
What's so funny?
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00:08:06,860 --> 00:08:10,650
You always come back to save the family.
We joke about that all the time.
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00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:14,990
Well, I don't know what the joke is.
I've been trying to do the right thing.
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[laughs] "Hi, I'm Michael,
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00:08:17,740 --> 00:08:21,080
and I save everyone so I feel special,
even though you don't deserve it.
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00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:22,620
I'm leaving. I won't be coming back."
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00:08:22,710 --> 00:08:23,920
-Buster...
-"Oh!
202
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,710
Look who's back.
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00:08:25,790 --> 00:08:28,500
I thought we were supposed to go [bleeps]
with a [bleeps]."
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00:08:28,590 --> 00:08:31,050
"Mmm, you would know, Mother.
You practically invented
205
00:08:31,130 --> 00:08:34,050
[bleeps] [bleeps] when you get sauced!"
[gasps]
206
00:08:34,130 --> 00:08:36,840
"How dare you point that limp [bleeps]
207
00:08:36,930 --> 00:08:39,100
hook at me when I saved you from one!
208
00:08:39,180 --> 00:08:42,730
I can't believe I pushed you
out of my [bleeps],
209
00:08:42,810 --> 00:08:45,020
you useless [bleeps] freak!"
210
00:08:46,190 --> 00:08:48,310
-[inhales deeply]
-Covered a lot of ground there.
211
00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:49,270
Yeah.
212
00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:51,400
Although I'm glad
I won't be leaving you alone.
213
00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:53,400
Oh, I'm going with you?
214
00:08:53,490 --> 00:08:55,530
No, I'm going to Mexico or something,
215
00:08:55,610 --> 00:08:57,530
and you gotta go to the police station.
216
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,910
-Oh, right. Why do they arrest me?
-They don't.
217
00:08:59,990 --> 00:09:01,660
You go to the police station
'cause you say,
218
00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:03,500
"Heard you were looking for me.
Here I am."
219
00:09:03,580 --> 00:09:05,500
Oh, but you said a cop had questions
for me.
220
00:09:05,580 --> 00:09:06,670
Mm-hmm. About Lucille 2.
221
00:09:06,750 --> 00:09:08,710
And I'm not gonna answer
any questions, right?
222
00:09:08,790 --> 00:09:10,960
-No. Answer the questions.
-When Barry says it's okay.
223
00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:13,260
Barry's not there. No attorneys.
Just tell the truth.
224
00:09:13,340 --> 00:09:15,340
Okay, like, bad example,
225
00:09:15,420 --> 00:09:19,100
I saw Lucille 2's lifeless body
sprawled across the stair car?
226
00:09:24,390 --> 00:09:26,270
Perfect.
If that's what happened, tell them.
227
00:09:26,350 --> 00:09:28,020
Nothing to be nervous about, okay?
228
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:29,860
Lucille 2 is probably gonna be back
229
00:09:29,940 --> 00:09:31,230
from whatever bender she's on.
230
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,400
She's gonna be as dry as, uh...
231
00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:35,030
well, Lucille 1.
232
00:09:35,110 --> 00:09:36,610
I can hear Mother winking now.
233
00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:39,620
So, I got some groceries.
These are gonna have to last.
234
00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:41,990
You already got into the candy bears, huh?
235
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:43,870
[Buster] This is literally one of only
236
00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:46,710
two things the Army warns about
when they issue these.
237
00:09:46,790 --> 00:09:48,080
-Let me help.
-I think they spent
238
00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:50,590
$27 million on the wrong guy.
239
00:09:50,670 --> 00:09:52,710
Don't you say that about you. Well...
240
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:55,420
Maybe you do say that.
Maybe that's important to say. [Ron] And certain
his mother would have to return
241
00:09:58,220 --> 00:10:01,010
to take responsibility
for this particular son,
242
00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:04,060
Michael went to say goodbye to his own.
243
00:10:05,270 --> 00:10:06,310
[knocking on door]
244
00:10:10,020 --> 00:10:11,520
-[phone vibrates]
-Ooh.
245
00:10:12,020 --> 00:10:13,400
Hey, I am outside your door.
246
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:15,480
I was this close to telling you.
You inside?
247
00:10:15,570 --> 00:10:17,900
[Lucille 2] Hi, it's Lucille Austero.
248
00:10:17,990 --> 00:10:19,410
-No!
-I've been looking for you.
249
00:10:20,030 --> 00:10:21,490
-Note, I mean.
-[Lucille 2 chattering]
250
00:10:21,570 --> 00:10:23,410
I know, I'd left you a note,
251
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:26,290
-and, can you hear me?
-[Lucille 2 continues chattering]
252
00:10:26,370 --> 00:10:29,370
Hello? Hello? Here we go again.
253
00:10:29,460 --> 00:10:30,710
Getting disconnected.
254
00:10:30,790 --> 00:10:33,960
This is why you always... leave a note.
255
00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:36,260
Always leave a note.
256
00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:38,050
Where's that from?
257
00:10:38,550 --> 00:10:41,640
[Ron] Michael discovered
a note he'd already written.
258
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:43,510
[Michael] "Are you avoiding me? Ha ha.
259
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,470
Leaving town for a while. Love you.
260
00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:47,060
-Michael Bluth."
-[Ron] It worked well.
261
00:10:52,650 --> 00:10:55,270
But perhaps if Michael
had taken a few seconds
262
00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:57,900
to write an original note
before leaving town,
263
00:10:58,820 --> 00:11:02,450
he would've run into George Michael,
who was coming to see him...
264
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,990
only to come across a cousin
he didn't recognize.
265
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:09,830
-Hey. Know if anyone's home?
-[Steve] Uh, yeah, Buster's in there.
266
00:11:09,910 --> 00:11:12,580
But if you're looking for Michael,
you just missed him.
267
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,170
-[sighs]
-Oh, so much for apologizing.
268
00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:18,090
I'm telling you, he's moved on.
269
00:11:18,170 --> 00:11:20,930
-Okay? You should, too.
-[Steve] I just found out
270
00:11:21,010 --> 00:11:22,590
my dad went to Mexico without telling me.
271
00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:24,760
[chuckles] Welcome
to the shitty parents club.
272
00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:26,600
-No, no, we don't have kids.
-No.
273
00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:28,220
[Ron] Although there was a kid
274
00:11:28,310 --> 00:11:30,390
that Maeby was eager to get away from.
275
00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:33,190
You know,
Mexico sounds far from Perfecto.
276
00:11:33,270 --> 00:11:35,770
So that's perfect.
What do you say? Screw it!
277
00:11:35,860 --> 00:11:37,400
No rules. Anything goes.
278
00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:40,950
[Ron] A rebounding George Michael
found the offer intriguing.
279
00:11:41,030 --> 00:11:42,950
-Just the cousins.
-Mm-hmm.
280
00:11:43,030 --> 00:11:44,370
[Ron] Which turned out to be...
281
00:11:44,450 --> 00:11:47,120
-Primos! [laughs]
-...this crew.
282
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:50,250
-Why do you keep yelling that?
-[laughing] Stop it.
283
00:11:51,710 --> 00:11:52,540
Ah.
284
00:11:55,250 --> 00:11:58,250
[Ron] Not far away,
Michael was also heading to Mexico.
285
00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,590
And after taking care
of one last bit of business...
286
00:12:01,670 --> 00:12:03,840
[Michael] It's Buster Bluth, that's right.
287
00:12:03,930 --> 00:12:06,640
Uh, yeah, I'm completely sure
he's been gone 72 hours.
288
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:08,430
As a matter of fact,
his bath has grown cold.
289
00:12:08,510 --> 00:12:11,020
So that's, uh, an alarm bell right there.
290
00:12:11,100 --> 00:12:12,730
[Ron] ...Michael was ready
to hit bottom
291
00:12:12,810 --> 00:12:14,900
-and go off the map.
-[Michael] Thanks so much.
292
00:12:14,980 --> 00:12:16,690
[Ron] But that's hard to do
293
00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:19,110
when you're driving a car
that makes maps.
294
00:12:19,190 --> 00:12:20,650
[Michael] No pictures, thank you!
295
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,490
Put your phones down.
We take the pictures.
296
00:12:22,570 --> 00:12:25,280
[Ron] When the fleet
of recovery vans arrived
297
00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:28,030
from the search engine
Michael had been working for,
298
00:12:28,620 --> 00:12:31,200
he discovered that the car
that takes the pictures
299
00:12:31,290 --> 00:12:33,460
-was no longer under his control.
-No! Window up.
300
00:12:33,540 --> 00:12:35,210
-Window...
-Hi, I'm Dave from Mapping.
301
00:12:35,710 --> 00:12:37,670
She's Lisa from Traditional Search.
302
00:12:38,130 --> 00:12:40,550
-And that's Jeff.
-I'm Jeff from Earth.
303
00:12:41,090 --> 00:12:43,420
-Hi. Hi, guys.
-[Dave] We heard we had a runaway ostrich,
304
00:12:43,510 --> 00:12:45,550
and, uh, we need you to return the car.
305
00:12:46,010 --> 00:12:48,510
Oh, yeah. Sorry. Am I under arrest?
306
00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,850
Oh, no. They never arrest the drivers.
307
00:12:50,930 --> 00:12:52,730
They do come down pretty hard
on the cars,
308
00:12:52,810 --> 00:12:55,060
but it's cheaper to just retrain
the people instead.
309
00:12:55,140 --> 00:12:58,110
It sounds super futuristic and dystopian,
but it's really not.
310
00:12:58,770 --> 00:13:00,360
[Ron] Earth was right.
311
00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:01,980
Because once he had been
escorted back
312
00:13:02,070 --> 00:13:04,650
to the impressive campus
of company headquarters,
313
00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:07,990
Michael found himself settling into a new
314
00:13:08,070 --> 00:13:09,620
and generally carefree life,
315
00:13:10,740 --> 00:13:12,290
one that couldn't have been farther
316
00:13:12,370 --> 00:13:14,160
from the bottom
he'd forgotten about hitting.
317
00:13:14,250 --> 00:13:16,330
-[Michael grunts]
-[Ron] Ironically, Michael's son
318
00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:19,210
had also experienced car troubles
in Mexico,
319
00:13:19,420 --> 00:13:22,630
and he wandered across
his grandfather's deserted land
320
00:13:22,710 --> 00:13:24,220
hoping to find a spare tire...
321
00:13:24,300 --> 00:13:25,840
Can't believe
you didn't know who I was.
322
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:28,970
-...and lose a third wheel.
-Well, there's nothing we can say.
323
00:13:29,050 --> 00:13:31,680
I wouldn't blame you if you took off
and you don't come back.
324
00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:33,020
Nah.
325
00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:35,310
Primos stick together.
326
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,440
Oh. "Cousin." It means "cousins."
327
00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:39,650
-That makes sense.
-[gunfire]
328
00:13:39,730 --> 00:13:40,610
[horse neighs]
329
00:13:40,690 --> 00:13:43,280
[Ron] But the land proved
not to be deserted, after all.
330
00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:45,780
[men shouting]
331
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:51,950
[Ron] And as the menacing horsemen
descended on the travelers,
332
00:13:52,030 --> 00:13:53,490
George Michael found himself tempted
333
00:13:53,580 --> 00:13:55,410
to bring up his dust allergies...
334
00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:57,540
-We got a lot of dust.
-...but hinted at them instead.
335
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:00,580
And they would soon discover...
336
00:14:00,670 --> 00:14:03,500
-You are not welcome here.
-[horse neighs]
337
00:14:03,590 --> 00:14:06,050
Oh, so sorry, we j-- Our car broke down.
338
00:14:06,130 --> 00:14:07,590
We thought we might
find somebody we know.
339
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,340
My grandfather owns this land.
340
00:14:09,430 --> 00:14:11,720
That is not what the sign says.
341
00:14:12,890 --> 00:14:15,020
♪ Mr. Efe ♪
342
00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:18,140
I am the elder here. This is our land.
343
00:14:18,230 --> 00:14:21,650
And you would be wise to never
be seen here again. Strum!
344
00:14:22,230 --> 00:14:23,440
[strums guitar]
345
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:28,400
Now, if you'll excuse us,
we must say buenos días.
346
00:14:28,950 --> 00:14:31,030
-Vamos, vamos.
-Play the guitar, old man!
347
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,450
-Strum! Strum!
-[playing guitar]
348
00:14:33,530 --> 00:14:36,660
[Ron] And George Michael asked
the question anyone might.
349
00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:39,580
Who were those scary, handsome Mexicans
350
00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:40,960
on those magical horses?
351
00:14:41,710 --> 00:14:43,750
They just looked like old white men to me.
352
00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:44,880
Oh.
353
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:46,630
We should probably get out of here.
354
00:14:46,710 --> 00:14:49,380
Yeah, I mean,
I've got a big job on Monday, anyway.
355
00:14:49,470 --> 00:14:52,760
I was gonna have to leave early,
and I didn't know how to tell you.
356
00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:55,260
But now we can just all go together.
357
00:14:55,350 --> 00:14:57,600
[Ron] And that's when he saw his opening.
358
00:14:57,680 --> 00:14:58,520
Never.
359
00:14:59,730 --> 00:15:01,600
Never. Are you...?
360
00:15:01,690 --> 00:15:03,190
No. I mean, we're Bluths.
361
00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:04,860
We're gonna stay. Maeby, too. We're...
362
00:15:04,940 --> 00:15:06,320
The two of us are gonna stay.
363
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,820
[Ron] And soon,
being with his cousin was no longer
364
00:15:08,900 --> 00:15:10,910
-an obstacle...
-[George Michael] Crazy asshole.
365
00:15:10,990 --> 00:15:13,700
...to George Michael's hope
of being with his cousin.
366
00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:15,200
I was wondering how you were
gonna get rid of him.
367
00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:17,410
-Was I that obvious?
-I just know that you don't like
368
00:15:17,490 --> 00:15:19,580
standing up to people
on horses with guns.
369
00:15:19,660 --> 00:15:20,920
No, I never really was that guy.
370
00:15:21,290 --> 00:15:23,420
-Let's find a bar.
-Okay. Yeah, I'd love that.
371
00:15:23,500 --> 00:15:25,750
[Ron] And so, after getting out
of their dusty clothes,
372
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:27,000
the two did just that.
373
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:28,800
And George Michael
374
00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:31,130
was soon getting a real feel
for the people.
375
00:15:31,220 --> 00:15:32,970
Hey. You're not gonna believe this.
376
00:15:33,050 --> 00:15:35,180
I met these guys that are actually
from Orange County. And two of them also go to UCI.
377
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:40,350
Two of them are named Noah,
but not the two that you'd think.
378
00:15:40,430 --> 00:15:41,310
-Cool?
-Really cool.
379
00:15:41,390 --> 00:15:44,230
They're staying here, renting a place
while they do this language course.
380
00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:45,560
We could stay with them.
381
00:15:46,020 --> 00:15:47,570
I'm thinking about heading back.
382
00:15:47,650 --> 00:15:48,650
N... Wait, look.
383
00:15:48,730 --> 00:15:51,240
If this is about me firing you
from Fakeblock,
384
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:52,700
there's something you should know.
385
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:55,700
Fakeblock doesn't actually exist.
386
00:15:56,740 --> 00:15:59,410
Are you telling me that the software
387
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:02,080
that's supposed to keep
people's computers unhackable
388
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:06,590
and keep any kind of information private
doesn't exist?
389
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:09,210
How did you find out?
390
00:16:09,300 --> 00:16:12,090
It was easy. I just looked in
your computer under "Secrets."
391
00:16:12,170 --> 00:16:14,180
Oh, you looked
in my "Please Don't Read" folder?
392
00:16:14,260 --> 00:16:17,140
No, that one was empty.
I found it in "Just Odds and Ends."
393
00:16:17,220 --> 00:16:18,810
Great, you got past my double bluff.
394
00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:21,600
It's okay, George Michael.
You worry too much.
395
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:24,810
Yeah, that keeps me up at night, actually.
396
00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:28,110
I just feel like I gotta move on
with my life, you know?
397
00:16:28,190 --> 00:16:29,610
Find some meaning.
398
00:16:30,070 --> 00:16:31,860
Get going with my own goop.
399
00:16:31,940 --> 00:16:33,610
Goop? What is goop?
400
00:16:33,700 --> 00:16:36,120
If you have to ask,
you probably don't know what it is.
401
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:37,660
I don't know what it is.
402
00:16:37,780 --> 00:16:39,620
I feel like maybe
you don't know what it is.
403
00:16:39,700 --> 00:16:41,080
Maybe it's "go-op"?
404
00:16:41,410 --> 00:16:43,210
To me, that would make less sense. Maybe that's what "go-op" is.
405
00:16:45,870 --> 00:16:48,380
Not everything always making sense.
406
00:16:49,340 --> 00:16:50,550
[Ron] It isn't.
407
00:16:50,630 --> 00:16:53,760
Meanwhile,
George Sr. and G.O.B. continued trying
408
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:55,260
to out-goop each other.
409
00:16:55,340 --> 00:16:58,010
I won't tell Mom
about all the ladies you're [bleeps]
410
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:01,140
if you don't tell Mom
about all the ladies I'm [bleeps].
411
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:04,180
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Look at that one coming up.
412
00:17:04,270 --> 00:17:05,600
Where, where? Oh, my God.
413
00:17:05,690 --> 00:17:08,060
Oh, she's hot. She's so hot. Dibs!
414
00:17:08,150 --> 00:17:09,940
No, no, no, Daddy saw her first.
415
00:17:10,020 --> 00:17:12,780
-Daddy dibs.
-She got a friend or...?
416
00:17:12,860 --> 00:17:14,280
She's got a friend! That's a friend?
417
00:17:15,990 --> 00:17:18,240
[G.O.B.] Bush. Trash bag and bush.
418
00:17:18,870 --> 00:17:20,620
-Thought it was a woman.
-Yeah.
419
00:17:20,780 --> 00:17:22,080
-Like, hunched over, right?
-Yeah.
420
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:24,960
Like, with the...
I wanted to do her so bad.
421
00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:27,880
Wow. I mean, I...
And I really liked her friend.
422
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:30,090
Me, I liked her, too.
423
00:17:33,630 --> 00:17:36,220
-That was a ten-gallon Hefty sack?
-Oh, yeah.
424
00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:39,220
-Yeah, a ten. Definitely a ten.
-Yeah. Yeah. Nice.
425
00:17:40,140 --> 00:17:41,260
I like.
426
00:17:41,970 --> 00:17:44,600
I like... a ten.
427
00:17:45,980 --> 00:17:49,480
[Ron] And Lucille, at the behest of
her court-mandated therapist,
428
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:53,230
-was struggling to make sense of things.
-Am I horrible for saying these things?
429
00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:56,070
No. But I was doing the math,
and I still think
430
00:17:56,150 --> 00:17:59,070
you're gonna have a problem
with this final "raped murderer."
431
00:18:00,490 --> 00:18:01,870
But who cares about him?
432
00:18:02,330 --> 00:18:04,160
Oh, this is pointless.
433
00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:06,500
How many more sessions
do I have to endure
434
00:18:06,580 --> 00:18:07,710
until I'm done with...
435
00:18:08,250 --> 00:18:10,040
-no offense... you?
-[chuckles]
436
00:18:10,170 --> 00:18:13,920
Legally, two. But I am in the family.
437
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:19,010
I mean... this is my family.
438
00:18:20,180 --> 00:18:23,060
My daughter is divorcing you.
This is it.
439
00:18:23,140 --> 00:18:25,060
I'm confused by the word "it."
440
00:18:25,140 --> 00:18:28,520
Are you implying that you
don't want to see me anymore?
441
00:18:28,850 --> 00:18:31,440
I'm confused by the word "anymore."
442
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:34,270
There are many things
I can do for this family.
443
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:37,530
You've lost touch with your daughter.
Put me in, for God sakes.
444
00:18:37,610 --> 00:18:41,320
-I thought this was my time.
-It is your time. Yes, yes.
445
00:18:41,410 --> 00:18:43,410
But as your therapist,
I'm pointing out that I know
446
00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:45,620
that you build these walls
to keep out, for instance,
447
00:18:45,700 --> 00:18:47,620
your surviving children-in-law.
448
00:18:47,700 --> 00:18:50,000
Oh, don't talk to me about walls.
449
00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:52,040
That's why we're in this mess.
450
00:18:52,130 --> 00:18:54,340
My husband buys land
so we can get a contract
451
00:18:54,420 --> 00:18:56,380
to build a little something on the border.
452
00:18:56,460 --> 00:18:57,920
A-a wall.
453
00:18:58,010 --> 00:19:00,010
And we did everything right.
454
00:19:00,090 --> 00:19:01,470
[Ron] Well, not everything.
455
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:04,430
They did buy land on the border...
456
00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:06,810
-You live here?
-...to sell back to the government.
457
00:19:06,890 --> 00:19:08,270
-The check.
-[Ron] And they paid off
458
00:19:08,350 --> 00:19:10,350
-a politician...
-I am gonna put this on my wall.
459
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:11,520
...to stir up xenophobia.
460
00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:15,110
We have got to build a wall
between us and Mexico.
461
00:19:15,190 --> 00:19:16,980
-Yeah, yeah.
-[Ron] Of course, they made
462
00:19:17,070 --> 00:19:20,400
-a few rookie mistakes.
-I bribed Love to get the wall,
463
00:19:20,490 --> 00:19:22,950
and I don't have the land to build it on!
464
00:19:23,030 --> 00:19:24,030
[Ron] Well, they had it.
465
00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:26,330
It was just on the wrong side
of the border.
466
00:19:26,870 --> 00:19:29,790
Which they might have known
had George's brother Oscar
467
00:19:29,870 --> 00:19:31,830
-not burned the signs.
-It's okay to burn these?
468
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,250
Well, this is America.
They don't want us to burn signs,
469
00:19:34,330 --> 00:19:35,920
they shouldn't write 'em in Spanish.
470
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,760
[Ron] And so, Lucille did
what her own government might do.
471
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:41,630
Who better than the Chinese
to help us build a wall, right?
472
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:44,220
-[Ron] She borrowed from the Chinese.
-That's good enough.
473
00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:46,100
-[crying]
-[Ron] Of course, none of this
474
00:19:46,180 --> 00:19:48,560
-was okay with the woman...
-How dare you?!
475
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:50,310
-...who owned a majority stake...
-Lucille...
476
00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:51,350
-...in the company.
-...Two
477
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,940
I can't be running a company
that's building a wall
478
00:19:54,020 --> 00:19:55,230
I campaigned against!
479
00:19:55,310 --> 00:19:57,570
[Ron] And with their politician
out of the race,
480
00:19:57,650 --> 00:19:59,280
their future looked bleak.
481
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:02,150
So, unless some angel descends
on a golden chariot,
482
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:04,700
we're completely over-leveraged.
483
00:20:04,780 --> 00:20:08,700
And maybe you don't want
to get hurt because,
484
00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:13,330
as I say, hurt people... hurt people.
485
00:20:13,790 --> 00:20:15,080
Oh, that's nice.
486
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:19,300
I always say,
"Make people cry, make people cry."
487
00:20:19,380 --> 00:20:21,010
But yours includes the people
488
00:20:21,090 --> 00:20:23,380
who don't want to give you
the satisfaction. [Ron] Tobias decided to err on the side
489
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:28,350
of Lucille keeping him on as a therapist.
490
00:20:28,430 --> 00:20:30,310
You know what, let's lock that in there.
491
00:20:30,390 --> 00:20:32,890
And I'd say we've made
some real good progress today.
492
00:20:32,980 --> 00:20:35,810
Yes. [chuckles]
I really think this is working.
493
00:20:37,060 --> 00:20:37,940
Swimming!
494
00:20:38,020 --> 00:20:41,360
Hurt people, hurt people.
495
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,740
[Ron] Lindsay had also made it to Mexico,
496
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:46,780
and was enjoying the fact that
men were more respectful.
497
00:20:46,870 --> 00:20:48,280
[bartender] Puta Night is Thursday.
498
00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:53,000
-That's so nice. No, I'm not.
-[Ron] That was based on her belief
499
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:55,290
-that "puta" meant "young."
-No. Puta.
500
00:20:55,370 --> 00:20:57,330
[whispers] I try to stay out of the sun.
501
00:20:58,500 --> 00:21:01,170
[Ron] And that's when she saw
what appeared to be
502
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:04,090
-a Mexican version of her father.
-[Lindsay] Oh, my God.
503
00:21:04,170 --> 00:21:06,340
Lindsay. What are you doing here?
504
00:21:06,430 --> 00:21:08,140
Guess I just had to get away.
505
00:21:08,220 --> 00:21:10,060
I was just ordering lunch.
Can I buy you lunch?
506
00:21:10,140 --> 00:21:12,220
Oh, yeah. I'm so hungry, I could eat.
507
00:21:12,310 --> 00:21:13,810
[Ron] Lindsay's daughter, meanwhile,
508
00:21:13,890 --> 00:21:15,890
discovered that her trip back home...
509
00:21:15,980 --> 00:21:18,190
-This is as far as we go.
-...took a detour.
510
00:21:18,980 --> 00:21:19,980
[Maeby] Oh.
511
00:21:20,070 --> 00:21:22,360
-You live here?
-No.
512
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:23,820
These people have nothing.
513
00:21:23,900 --> 00:21:25,990
We are lucky. We have next to nothing.
514
00:21:26,070 --> 00:21:28,530
We are helping these people
because nobody else will.
515
00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:31,540
They've been kicked out
of the only country they've ever known
516
00:21:31,620 --> 00:21:33,540
because of the cruelty
of your president...
517
00:21:33,660 --> 00:21:34,540
Barack Obama.
518
00:21:35,410 --> 00:21:37,080
Their old country is their mother,
519
00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:38,750
new country is their father.
520
00:21:38,830 --> 00:21:40,960
Imagine if your mother
and your father did not want you.
521
00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:43,760
So, you're trying to, like,
teach them a lesson or...?
522
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:44,970
We're volunteers.
523
00:21:45,050 --> 00:21:46,630
Who did you think the water was for?
524
00:21:47,550 --> 00:21:50,550
Oh. [chuckles]
I thought you were just trying to get me
525
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:52,600
to give you a higher Uber rating.
526
00:21:54,180 --> 00:21:56,980
[Ron] And Maeby decided to stay
and help.
527
00:22:00,810 --> 00:22:03,570
George Michael, meanwhile,
settled into a different kind
528
00:22:03,650 --> 00:22:05,440
of "south of the border" lifestyle.
529
00:22:05,530 --> 00:22:06,700
[George Michael] Mexico.
530
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:08,860
It's like being in the Spanish dorms
531
00:22:08,950 --> 00:22:11,910
of the UCI sister campus
in Spain all over again.
532
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:15,950
[Ron] He was noticing subtle differences
in the cuisine.
533
00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:17,580
God, the salt is different here.
534
00:22:17,660 --> 00:22:18,960
It's fatter or something, right?
535
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:21,170
-We're from Orange County.
-[Ron] He reached out to locals.
536
00:22:21,250 --> 00:22:24,000
Dude, I'm from San Diego.
They want everyone to think we're Mexican.
537
00:22:24,090 --> 00:22:26,510
-My name's Noah.
-[Ron] He met another Noah.
538
00:22:26,590 --> 00:22:29,180
-[George Michael] Noah, get over here.
-[Ron] Noah met another Noah.
539
00:22:29,260 --> 00:22:31,720
-[laughs] What up, dawg?
-[Ron] And soon five,
540
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:34,010
I want to say,
indistinguishable Americans
541
00:22:34,100 --> 00:22:36,770
-had Mexico on its heels.
-You didn't know this was Noah?
542
00:22:37,270 --> 00:22:39,690
-[Ron] They saw foreign films.
-I'm glad someone had the guts
543
00:22:39,770 --> 00:22:41,060
to give the Minions their own movie.
544
00:22:41,150 --> 00:22:43,570
It's great
because it's subtitled in Spanish,
545
00:22:43,650 --> 00:22:45,530
but we don't have to read.
It's in English.
546
00:22:45,610 --> 00:22:47,570
If you don't want to see 'em,
you can block 'em.
547
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:49,650
[Ron] Started trends.
548
00:22:53,620 --> 00:22:56,500
They discovered
charming native communities...
549
00:22:57,910 --> 00:23:00,500
where local artisans
peddled their wares.
550
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:05,630
-[George Michael sighs] Mexico.
-[Ron] Adopted customs
551
00:23:05,710 --> 00:23:07,880
like the midday break, or siesta.
552
00:23:08,420 --> 00:23:11,090
Yes! Who left the air conditioning on?
553
00:23:11,180 --> 00:23:13,430
-Oh, me. I never left.
-[Ron] And while George Michael
554
00:23:13,510 --> 00:23:15,810
-was enjoying his status quo...
-[George Michael] Why'd we go out?
555
00:23:15,890 --> 00:23:19,390
...Lucille was on the verge
of an emotional breakthrough
556
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:21,270
that could possibly change her life.
557
00:23:21,350 --> 00:23:23,520
...and our whole life
is turned upside down.
558
00:23:23,610 --> 00:23:25,940
This is my time. Your session ended.
559
00:23:26,020 --> 00:23:28,150
-[Ron] That's when she heard something...
-[shushing]
560
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:29,900
...that would definitely change her life.
561
00:23:29,990 --> 00:23:32,450
[reporter] ...candidate descended
the escalator into the lobby.
562
00:23:32,530 --> 00:23:36,870
I will build a great, great wall
on our southern border.
563
00:23:36,950 --> 00:23:38,910
-[crowd cheering]
-Which was my idea!
564
00:23:39,580 --> 00:23:42,290
And I will have Mexico pay
for that wall.
565
00:23:42,370 --> 00:23:44,460
-[applause]
-Okay.
566
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:46,500
That is a clever twist.
567
00:23:50,010 --> 00:23:52,260
[Ron] Michael had been
at Search for a month.
568
00:23:52,380 --> 00:23:55,220
In that time,
he'd developed himself physically...
569
00:23:55,300 --> 00:23:57,350
And then lunge.
Duck, sweep the leg, lunge.
570
00:23:57,430 --> 00:23:59,100
...been given a new company car.
571
00:23:59,180 --> 00:24:01,100
Ted, I think you see your daughter coming.
572
00:24:01,180 --> 00:24:03,770
You're not expecting this,
but she's coming in hot
573
00:24:03,850 --> 00:24:05,980
-with a right...
-[Ron] He'd gotten to teach a class
574
00:24:06,060 --> 00:24:09,230
he'd successfully persuaded management
to try out.
575
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:12,450
Mona, I know your husband's down,
he probably needs medical attention,
576
00:24:12,530 --> 00:24:14,490
but you got another son on your flank.
577
00:24:14,570 --> 00:24:17,080
And, everybody, we're going to duck,
sweep the leg, and lunge.
578
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:20,370
And he comes back again.
And we sweep the leg and lunge.
579
00:24:20,450 --> 00:24:22,250
That's great.
Everybody put down your cactus.
580
00:24:22,330 --> 00:24:24,420
Let's all huddle up.
Okay, now that you're loose,
581
00:24:24,500 --> 00:24:26,080
we're gonna do some Mom Attacks Son,
582
00:24:26,170 --> 00:24:27,960
we're gonna do Dad Attacks Daughter,
583
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:30,130
and then we're gonna do
Dad Attacks Mom...
584
00:24:30,210 --> 00:24:32,880
[Ron] But he still felt something
was missing from his life
585
00:24:32,970 --> 00:24:36,220
-when he found a way to satisfy a dream.
-[Michael] Wow, satisfy an old dream. Boy, do you really have to spend
1,000 bucks on the gear, though?
586
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:41,640
-Not if you have your own.
-Mm.
587
00:24:41,730 --> 00:24:43,810
Yeah. Yeah, well, not here,
588
00:24:43,890 --> 00:24:46,230
but I could drive home and get it.
589
00:24:46,310 --> 00:24:47,860
Course, I could see my family.
590
00:24:47,940 --> 00:24:50,860
[Ron] A family Michael hadn't seen
in some time.
591
00:24:50,940 --> 00:24:52,150
So he decided...
592
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:55,530
Ah, what the heck.
For 1,000 bucks, it's worth the risk, huh?
593
00:24:58,580 --> 00:25:02,250
[Ron] Michael returned
to a model home he left in some disgrace.
594
00:25:02,790 --> 00:25:05,580
And he wasn't particularly
proud of what he did next.
595
00:25:05,670 --> 00:25:07,790
[in Spanish accent] Hola. Window cleaner!
596
00:25:12,420 --> 00:25:14,880
[Buster] I shall be neither seen
nor heard.
597
00:25:14,970 --> 00:25:16,640
-[Tobias] I blue myself.
-[Lindsay] It's vodka.
598
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:18,680
It goes bad once it's opened.
599
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:20,760
[G.O.B.] I heard the jury's still out
on science.
600
00:25:20,850 --> 00:25:23,890
-[Ron] It was an emotional moment.
-[Michael] Window cleaner!
601
00:25:24,350 --> 00:25:26,270
[Ron] Until right at the end there.
602
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:30,570
And that's when he found
a letter from Lucille 2.
603
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:41,910
[in normal voice] She forgave the debt.
604
00:25:43,290 --> 00:25:46,580
[Ron] And feeling bad
that he'd been forgiven by someone
605
00:25:46,670 --> 00:25:50,040
he wanted to forget,
he decided to thank her in person.
606
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:56,420
But, tired of hiding, he decided
607
00:25:56,510 --> 00:25:59,050
-to say hello to his own family.
-Hello?
608
00:26:01,050 --> 00:26:02,640
[G.O.B.] Speech! Speech!
609
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:04,850
[Lucille] You're my third
least favorite child.
610
00:26:04,930 --> 00:26:06,310
[Buster] ...like a Motherboy Ball.
611
00:26:06,390 --> 00:26:09,480
[Ron] And when they weren't home,
he found himself missing them.
612
00:26:09,810 --> 00:26:13,150
[George Michael] I should ask if she wants
to get pre-pre-engaged.
613
00:26:13,690 --> 00:26:16,150
-Lucille 2?
-[Lucille] I want that pie covered.
614
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,610
-And not with your face.
-Hello?
615
00:26:18,700 --> 00:26:21,450
-[squeals] Told you he'd come!
-[George Sr.] Hey!
616
00:26:21,530 --> 00:26:23,580
-It's on, it's on, it's on.
-[excited chatter]
617
00:26:24,330 --> 00:26:25,700
-Look at him fighting me!
-G.O.B.!
618
00:26:25,790 --> 00:26:28,750
-I haven't seen you in a year!
-It's been two months. Get your hands off.
619
00:26:28,830 --> 00:26:31,540
Oh, yeah? What's the last thing
you remember us doing?
620
00:26:31,630 --> 00:26:32,920
-What do you remember?
-What? No.
621
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:34,090
[thud]
622
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:38,430
-[George Sr.] Enough!
-[Ron] Michael Bluth -gets up.
-A lot of hands down there.
623
00:26:40,300 --> 00:26:42,300
-They weren't my hands.
-[chuckles] Oh. Okay.
624
00:26:42,390 --> 00:26:44,930
Harmless bathhousing
amongst brothers, yes?
625
00:26:45,020 --> 00:26:47,350
-[chuckles]
-[Ron] And George Michael dips his toe
626
00:26:47,430 --> 00:26:50,150
-into the Mexican nightlife.
-Guys, it's 9:00.
627
00:26:50,230 --> 00:26:53,230
Gives us 30 minutes till they shut down
that last machine at Pinkberry.