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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for QRUS by gybe
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NARRATOR (gravelly):
It was May...
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(clears throat)
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It was May 4,
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and in the bayside town
of Newport Beach,
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the annual celebration
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known as Cinco de Cuatro
was underway.
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The holiday started as
a particularly vicious response
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by a young Lucille Bluth
to the Mexican holiday...
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- This still isn't made?
- ...of Cinco de Mayo.
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- No, no, it's not.
- Rosa, why is this still a mess?!
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She said it's, uh,
it's Cinco de Mayo.
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She's taking, uh, the day off.
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- She said that?
- Yeah.
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- She called it Cinco de Mayo?
- She did, yeah.
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Oh, why can't they
just call it May 5?
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This is what
I was talking about.
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It's all part
of the Mexican war on May 5.
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- War on May 5, I know, yeah. It is.
- It is.
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NARRATOR:
But even a skeptical George Sr.
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soon found himself feeling
similarly embattled.
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Where the (bleep) are my socks?!
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Now it's not so funny, is it?
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No, not funny.
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We should start our own holiday.
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NARRATOR: You see, the Hispanics
of Newport liked Cinco a lot,
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but high up on Coast Highway,
Lucille Bluth did not.
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Doesn't look like they'll be
done any time soon.
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NARRATOR: And then Lucille had
a horrible thought,
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a thought that was thoughtless
and better to not.
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"What if," she thought
with a sneering grin...
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Next year what if the party
didn't even begin?
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NARRATOR: And so began
a holiday on the eve
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- of the fifth of May...
- ♪ The cockroach... ♪
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...originally intended
to deplete the party supplies
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the Cinco de Mayo celebrants
were relying upon.
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Fill the bay with chorizo.
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- Chorizo dump!
- NARRATOR: Over 30 years, however, it grew
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and was soon embraced
by the Hispanic community...
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You buy it, you break it!
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...for financial reasons...
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and as the celebrations peaked
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with a boat parade
called the Festival of Lights--
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another phrase
they wanted back--
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one man was about
to hit his lowest point.
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♪ On the sixth of May... ♪
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LUCILLE 2:
Happy Cuatro, happy Cuatro!
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Let's throw
some more taco shells.
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Olé!
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Sally, can I...?
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I need to speak
to Lucille 2, please.
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It's okay, Sally,
I'll talk to Michael.
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NARRATOR:
This is Lucille 2,
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a longtime patron
of the Bluth family.
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I'll be downstairs
kicking myself
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for not marrying you
so many years ago.
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Michael, do you have
something for me?
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Does bad news count?
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There's that Bluth wit.
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Oh, I love your family.
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NARRATOR: She certainly
had demonstrated that
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with many of the men
in the family...
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Oh, stop it,
you're making me dizzy.
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...even having fallen
for a few,
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although some of that was
the vertigo she suffered from.
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But not all of it.
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- Dad?
- No, no.
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But seriously, she had gotten
intimate with Buster and Gob.
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I need that money I lent you.
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I am in the middle of a campaign
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and I am desperate
for the ad money.
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You're going to get it.
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I just need an extension.
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Why don't you go to your family?
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I don't need them.
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What I need is you.
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What are you suggesting?
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- (thud)
- No.
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Okay, that was nasty.
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- Aren't you sweet?
- (chuckles)
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- Thank you.
- Okay.
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Don't tilt your head, okay?
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NARRATOR: And that's
when Michael debased himself.
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What are you doing?
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I'm gonna have sex
with you for money.
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NARRATOR:
Later that night,
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after Michael did
something unthinkable,
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he was looking
for a place to hide
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and he returned
to a long neglected model home
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he believed to be empty.
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GOB:
Thanks for coming
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so late, Maria, I know
that you won't be cleaning up
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tomorrow, and we did make
quite a mess of that bedroom.
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Michael.
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NARRATOR:
This is Michael's brother Gob.
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Neither had expected
to see each other
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after some recent
unpleasantness.
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I didn't expect
to be seeing you again
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after all the unpleasantness.
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I-I've, I've,
I've been out of control.
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Sorry.
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00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:12,328
In fact, I-I just did something
that I-I don't,
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I don't, I don't know
why I did it.
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00:04:14,372 --> 00:04:15,707
Do you want to talk about it?
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No, I do not,
I've said too much already.
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You cannot help me.
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Well, I wasn't hoping to help.
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I was hoping to rub it in
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because of all
the unpleasantness.
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- Got it. - Oh, damn it, I meant
to throw these in the chipper.
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God, I'm just not
into Cuatro this year.
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I was the one that was wrong,
not you,
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and besides, you could not
make me feel worse right now.
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Well, I'd be willing
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to let you have
your apology back
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if you give me
the chance to try.
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I mean, I'm gonna need
some specifics
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about the thing
that you're ashamed of.
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Otherwise I'll just be
taking general potshots.
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Bad example: if you were ashamed
of being in love with a man,
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00:04:47,668 --> 00:04:49,879
suddenly discovered
these new feelings,
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00:04:49,921 --> 00:04:52,383
then I might say something like,
"Homo much?"
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- It's not that.
- I said "Bad example."
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I went to go see Lucille 2
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and I just, I just--
I lost control.
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I did something
that I wish I could forget.
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00:05:00,477 --> 00:05:02,271
You have got no idea how I feel.
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00:05:02,312 --> 00:05:03,982
Well, if you're talking about
doing something embarrassing
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00:05:04,023 --> 00:05:05,609
with a woman, then no, I don't.
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00:05:05,651 --> 00:05:07,111
NARRATOR:
But he should have.
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00:05:07,153 --> 00:05:08,989
It's almost
as if he found a way
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to simulate amnesia.
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00:05:12,285 --> 00:05:14,329
Hey, I'm down
to my last Forget-Me-Now.
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NARRATOR: In fact,
that is what he had done.
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Hey, remember me?
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NARRATOR:
Gob had always taken a pill
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00:05:21,172 --> 00:05:23,633
he called a Forget-Me-Now
for that...
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00:05:23,675 --> 00:05:25,303
- No más.
- ¿No más?
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00:05:25,344 --> 00:05:26,762
...but was commonly known
as a roofie.
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GOB:
There's only one left.
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How could that possibly be?
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00:05:29,308 --> 00:05:30,310
Unless... John Beard Jr.
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00:05:30,351 --> 00:05:32,020
I don't need to get into it.
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00:05:32,061 --> 00:05:33,814
I came here because I thought
the house was empty,
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00:05:33,856 --> 00:05:35,691
but I can go
somewhere else, okay?
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- Hey, listen, Michael, if you
want, we can split this. - No,
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00:05:38,361 --> 00:05:40,239
I feel like this is something
that I shouldn't forget,
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okay, and believe me,
this is the last time
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I ever judge you for anything
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00:05:44,287 --> 00:05:45,246
that you ever do.
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00:05:45,288 --> 00:05:47,082
Oh, (bleep).
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00:05:47,124 --> 00:05:48,083
(door closes)
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00:05:48,125 --> 00:05:49,461
Is that who you were with?
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00:05:49,502 --> 00:05:51,338
I knew it, I always knew it.
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00:05:51,379 --> 00:05:52,965
- Take this, Michael, forget, forget.
- No, no, no, no, no.
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00:05:53,007 --> 00:05:54,300
Put the mask back on.
Forget this, Michael.
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- Forget, forget, Michael.
- Gob.
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Forget, now is the time
to forget.
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- (coughing)
- Now you're forgetting.
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- Now you're forgetting.
- God.
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♪ It's so easy to forget... ♪
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(Michael sighs)
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♪ It's so easy to forget. ♪
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Stupid, forgetful Michael.
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NARRATOR:
Now, the story of a family
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whose future was abruptly
canceled and the one son
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who had no choice
but to keep himself together.
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It's Michael's...
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00:06:27,761 --> 00:06:31,017
Six months
before the Forget-Me-Now,
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Michael had made good
on a long-standing threat
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to go to Phoenix,
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and even though the Phoenix
he went to was online,
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he still enjoyed
the full college experience
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00:06:41,865 --> 00:06:44,785
by living in a dorm room
while doing so.
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00:06:44,828 --> 00:06:47,290
George Michael, what is
my log-on password again?
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00:06:47,331 --> 00:06:49,375
NARRATOR: Unfortunately
it was his son's dorm room
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00:06:49,417 --> 00:06:51,169
at the University of California
at Irvine.
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00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:55,843
Dad, come on, what have we said
is the most important thing?
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00:06:55,884 --> 00:06:57,344
I have tried "family."
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- It does not work for me.
- No, privacy.
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00:06:58,972 --> 00:07:01,183
NARRATOR:
This is Michael's son
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00:07:01,225 --> 00:07:03,895
George Michael-- a nice kid.
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00:07:03,937 --> 00:07:06,357
Uh, no one should have
your password but you.
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00:07:06,399 --> 00:07:07,900
I shouldn't even know it.
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00:07:07,942 --> 00:07:09,820
- You've made that point.
- Have I?
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00:07:09,862 --> 00:07:11,948
MICHAEL: My point is, we have
no secrets from each other.
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00:07:11,990 --> 00:07:14,451
We know everything there is
to know about each other.
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00:07:14,492 --> 00:07:15,453
We're like twins.
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00:07:15,494 --> 00:07:17,456
I don't see us as twins.
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00:07:17,497 --> 00:07:20,335
Yeah? You name me one way
in which we're different.
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00:07:20,376 --> 00:07:22,253
GEORGE MICHAEL:
I think you tend to be better
192
00:07:22,295 --> 00:07:25,549
at feeling
like you belong places.
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00:07:25,592 --> 00:07:27,594
MICHAEL:
Do I?
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00:07:29,930 --> 00:07:33,101
I want you to start feeling
like you belong places.
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00:07:33,143 --> 00:07:34,228
Look at that guy.
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00:07:34,270 --> 00:07:36,439
He thinks he's a musician.
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00:07:36,481 --> 00:07:38,122
You know, like,
you've got to start having
198
00:07:38,150 --> 00:07:40,403
a little bit better sense
of humor about yourself.
199
00:07:40,445 --> 00:07:41,404
Look at me.
200
00:07:41,446 --> 00:07:42,615
People say I don't age.
201
00:07:42,656 --> 00:07:44,200
You know, like,
"Hey, look at that guy.
202
00:07:44,241 --> 00:07:45,994
He's got the hair
of a teenager."
203
00:07:46,036 --> 00:07:48,373
And I say, "Take your best shot"
204
00:07:48,414 --> 00:07:50,249
because I think
that that's a good thing
205
00:07:50,292 --> 00:07:51,960
because I'm self-effacing.
206
00:07:52,002 --> 00:07:53,213
Hmm?
207
00:07:53,254 --> 00:07:54,631
I want you to be able
to do that.
208
00:07:54,672 --> 00:07:56,467
Well, it's hard
to be self-effacing
209
00:07:56,509 --> 00:08:00,180
when you're a perfect specimen
of rugged manlessness.
210
00:08:00,222 --> 00:08:01,181
(chuckles)
211
00:08:02,475 --> 00:08:04,228
Well, you can't hear this, but,
212
00:08:04,269 --> 00:08:05,813
but we're gonna work on it.
213
00:08:05,854 --> 00:08:07,482
That's why I'm living
in your dorm.
214
00:08:07,524 --> 00:08:08,924
Well, I thought
you were living here
215
00:08:08,942 --> 00:08:10,528
because you had
nowhere else to go.
216
00:08:10,569 --> 00:08:12,989
Yeah, and because of the fact
you had this big double room
217
00:08:13,031 --> 00:08:14,241
all to yourself
because of your name.
218
00:08:14,282 --> 00:08:16,077
NARRATOR:
The name George Michael
219
00:08:16,119 --> 00:08:18,872
did create confusion
in the campus housing office.
220
00:08:18,914 --> 00:08:20,374
This guy's name is actually
George Michael.
221
00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:21,543
No, it's two different guys.
222
00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:24,338
- They're twins, ugly.
- (gasps)
223
00:08:24,380 --> 00:08:26,299
BOTH: We should sign them up
for Twin Club.
224
00:08:26,341 --> 00:08:29,387
And let's give them
the big handicap room.
225
00:08:29,429 --> 00:08:31,055
Yeah, you see,
that's the other thing, is that
226
00:08:31,097 --> 00:08:33,183
I kind of wanted to use
this time to almost kind of,
227
00:08:33,225 --> 00:08:35,895
you know, wean off
of the name George Michael.
228
00:08:35,937 --> 00:08:38,524
What?
229
00:08:38,566 --> 00:08:41,278
I don't know, you know,
you get older, you do
230
00:08:41,319 --> 00:08:43,614
a something search
of your own name...
231
00:08:43,656 --> 00:08:45,534
NARRATOR: In George Michael's
case, you find this.
232
00:08:45,576 --> 00:08:48,580
It was in this men's room in--
get this-- Beverly Hills
233
00:08:48,621 --> 00:08:51,000
that singer George Michael
was arrested
234
00:08:51,041 --> 00:08:54,129
for soliciting sex
from an undercover cop.
235
00:08:54,171 --> 00:08:57,133
Well, it was your mother's idea
to call you George Michael,
236
00:08:57,175 --> 00:08:58,301
you know, and I think
it was just
237
00:08:58,342 --> 00:08:59,970
so that we didn't confuse you
238
00:09:00,012 --> 00:09:02,223
with your Uncle George or
your Grandfather George.
239
00:09:02,265 --> 00:09:04,894
- Right.
- I got it, let's call you Boy George.
240
00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:05,895
WOMAN:
Singer Boy George
241
00:09:05,936 --> 00:09:06,896
in the news again today,
242
00:09:06,937 --> 00:09:07,981
this time for sexual assault
243
00:09:08,023 --> 00:09:09,984
in a men's public bathroom.
244
00:09:10,026 --> 00:09:11,235
Beatrix Hebberly-Sneed,
Wee BBC 2.
245
00:09:11,277 --> 00:09:13,071
GEORGE MICHAEL:
You know, I think
246
00:09:13,113 --> 00:09:15,240
I'll, I'll just--
I'll stick with George Michael.
247
00:09:15,282 --> 00:09:17,076
I mean, at least
it was consensual.
248
00:09:17,118 --> 00:09:19,246
But I guess the, uh,
the bigger point
249
00:09:19,288 --> 00:09:21,458
I'm making is just that,
uh, it's hard to have
250
00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:23,293
any privacy
now that they've stuck me
251
00:09:23,335 --> 00:09:25,546
- with an actual roommate.
- Well, you know, listen,
252
00:09:25,588 --> 00:09:27,966
I'm all for kicking P-Hound out,
you know that.
253
00:09:28,008 --> 00:09:30,178
Well, you know, I didn't
really mean privacy from him.
254
00:09:30,220 --> 00:09:32,223
I know, I know, I know.
255
00:09:35,060 --> 00:09:37,020
You want your space from me?
256
00:09:37,062 --> 00:09:38,523
Um, look,
257
00:09:38,564 --> 00:09:42,319
listen, hey, hey,
look, look, listen.
258
00:09:42,361 --> 00:09:44,447
Listen, look it.
259
00:09:44,489 --> 00:09:47,284
Are you listening?
You want your space.
260
00:09:47,326 --> 00:09:48,578
I get it.
261
00:09:48,620 --> 00:09:52,041
I did not mean
to crowd you, pal.
262
00:09:52,083 --> 00:09:55,087
Listen, I thought that this was,
that this was fun, and,
263
00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:57,215
- and it is okay if you didn't
see it that way. - Oh, Dad.
264
00:09:57,257 --> 00:09:59,259
Buddy, it's not like
I don't have someplace to go.
265
00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:01,428
You know, I'll just go
right back to the model home.
266
00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:03,223
They don't have Internet there,
so I'll just put
267
00:10:03,265 --> 00:10:05,101
the law school on, on, on pause.
268
00:10:05,142 --> 00:10:06,727
It's not like the first time
that I've done that.
269
00:10:06,769 --> 00:10:08,772
You know, last time I did that,
you were born. You know what?
270
00:10:08,814 --> 00:10:10,441
Screw it, maybe I'll just go
to the real Phoenix
271
00:10:10,483 --> 00:10:12,068
and finish school.
272
00:10:12,110 --> 00:10:13,362
They got one in Costa Mesa.
273
00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:15,155
Plus they want me
for an article.
274
00:10:15,197 --> 00:10:16,533
Media wants to talk
to Daddy about the real
275
00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:18,118
estate business,
and once they do that,
276
00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:19,829
- I'm gonna be right back on top.
- (groans)
277
00:10:19,870 --> 00:10:21,330
You know what?
This is your school rally shirt.
278
00:10:21,373 --> 00:10:23,208
You know, same size--medium.
279
00:10:23,250 --> 00:10:25,169
Do you know where mine is? We
wear the same size like twi...
280
00:10:25,211 --> 00:10:27,548
We're just like twin--
couple of identical...
281
00:10:27,590 --> 00:10:29,258
Dad, Dad, no, I...
282
00:10:29,300 --> 00:10:32,763
Look, I was not talking
about privacy from you per se.
283
00:10:32,805 --> 00:10:37,269
I was talking about my software.
284
00:10:37,311 --> 00:10:38,730
What's that?
285
00:10:38,771 --> 00:10:41,358
It's privacy software.
286
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:42,776
That's why the word came up.
287
00:10:42,818 --> 00:10:44,529
It's not why the word came up.
288
00:10:44,571 --> 00:10:46,490
But George Michael
was writing code
289
00:10:46,532 --> 00:10:48,326
for a block software
290
00:10:48,367 --> 00:10:50,829
with his roommate
that was proving challenging.
291
00:10:50,871 --> 00:10:52,290
...you're leaving a hole
292
00:10:52,332 --> 00:10:53,875
just right in the middle
of the block.
293
00:10:53,916 --> 00:10:56,211
Both because of online threats
to his privacy...
294
00:10:56,253 --> 00:10:58,174
Otherwise, people will be
able to hack in through
295
00:10:58,214 --> 00:11:00,301
a mobile platform portal, and
it won't be a block anything 3G.
296
00:11:00,343 --> 00:11:02,511
...and some in-room threats
to his privacy, as well.
297
00:11:02,553 --> 00:11:04,473
Buddy, is that schoolwork?
298
00:11:04,514 --> 00:11:05,808
No, we're just right
in the middle of this software.
299
00:11:05,850 --> 00:11:07,602
Great, good.
Give me the lappy.
300
00:11:07,644 --> 00:11:09,438
I'll hit save for you.
I got to Skype with my advisor
301
00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:11,316
in Phoenix, and if I don't
get on right now,
302
00:11:11,358 --> 00:11:15,655
he's gonna have to Skype me
from a T.G.I. Friday's.
303
00:11:15,696 --> 00:11:17,658
- Oh.
- Yeah.
304
00:11:17,699 --> 00:11:19,202
Whew.
305
00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:20,536
'Cause that hurt for a second.
306
00:11:20,578 --> 00:11:22,206
I was like, he wants me to go.
307
00:11:22,247 --> 00:11:24,249
- No, no, no, no, no.
- But no. Yeah? No.
308
00:11:24,291 --> 00:11:25,418
- Software.
- No.
309
00:11:25,460 --> 00:11:26,628
I mean, yeah, I may need
310
00:11:26,670 --> 00:11:28,756
some privacy, you know,
to work on it,
311
00:11:28,798 --> 00:11:33,388
and that might mean...
you going.
312
00:11:36,266 --> 00:11:37,851
Oh, you mean here.
313
00:11:37,893 --> 00:11:39,521
Yeah, clearing out.
314
00:11:39,562 --> 00:11:41,232
An hour, here, there. Yes?
315
00:11:41,273 --> 00:11:42,566
Got it. Not a problem.
You give me a little
316
00:11:42,608 --> 00:11:44,611
fair warning,
I clear right out of here.
317
00:11:44,653 --> 00:11:46,405
Let's schedule it now.
We can do it.
318
00:11:46,446 --> 00:11:47,907
I need help with
the calendar though.
319
00:11:47,949 --> 00:11:50,536
It's, like, stuck on 2003.
320
00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:52,538
- Help me just break into...
- You just hit "today."
321
00:11:52,539 --> 00:11:54,249
- The "today" button.
- Sorry. It's stuck in 2003,
322
00:11:54,290 --> 00:11:55,418
so I don't have "today."
323
00:11:55,459 --> 00:11:56,460
I need to jump forward...
324
00:11:56,502 --> 00:11:57,921
No, I know, there's a button
325
00:11:57,963 --> 00:11:59,631
- that says "today."
- Yeah, this has no button.
326
00:11:59,673 --> 00:12:00,800
Anyway, you know,
I'm just gonna run downstairs
327
00:12:00,842 --> 00:12:01,718
and, uh, grab a bite.
328
00:12:01,759 --> 00:12:03,887
Wait, I want to go.
329
00:12:03,929 --> 00:12:05,389
(chuckles)
330
00:12:05,431 --> 00:12:06,725
Let me go. I'll go. I'm hungry.
331
00:12:06,766 --> 00:12:08,728
Come on.
332
00:12:10,228 --> 00:12:12,649
NARRATOR: Michael Bluth
was fitting right in
333
00:12:12,691 --> 00:12:14,318
with his son's
college experience.
334
00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:15,945
Be good for you, huh?
335
00:12:15,987 --> 00:12:18,031
Gettable, right?
336
00:12:18,073 --> 00:12:19,701
Hey, tell me about
the software thing.
337
00:12:19,743 --> 00:12:21,286
This is the Faceblock thing
you were working on?
338
00:12:21,327 --> 00:12:22,288
Is it like Facebook?
339
00:12:22,329 --> 00:12:24,039
Uh, well, no.
340
00:12:24,081 --> 00:12:25,667
It's kind of the opposite
of Facebook, you know.
341
00:12:25,709 --> 00:12:27,669
Facebook connects you
with everyone,
342
00:12:27,711 --> 00:12:29,839
this blocks you from everyone.
343
00:12:29,881 --> 00:12:32,217
Oh, okay. Kind of like
the antisocial network, right?
344
00:12:32,258 --> 00:12:33,887
- That's very good.
- You can use it.
345
00:12:33,928 --> 00:12:35,430
I don't understand
the Internet stuff.
346
00:12:35,472 --> 00:12:37,850
You give me all the parts
and you tell me to build
347
00:12:37,892 --> 00:12:40,103
a television set, I can
bang that out, but I, you know,
348
00:12:40,145 --> 00:12:42,186
I can't get the right day
to display on my calendar.
349
00:12:42,190 --> 00:12:44,150
- Just press "today."
- Yeah, just tried that.
350
00:12:44,192 --> 00:12:45,944
Doesn't work on mine, pal.
351
00:12:45,986 --> 00:12:47,864
This is very, very, very
exciting, you know,
352
00:12:47,906 --> 00:12:50,951
because once they come out
with that article on me
353
00:12:50,993 --> 00:12:52,871
in that in-flight magazine,
354
00:12:52,913 --> 00:12:55,081
now, the family's gonna be
right back on top.
355
00:12:55,123 --> 00:12:57,292
- The guy's doing a whole spread on me.
- In-flight magazine?
356
00:12:57,335 --> 00:12:58,879
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
It's called Altitude.
357
00:12:58,921 --> 00:13:00,088
It's for OutWest Airlines.
358
00:13:00,130 --> 00:13:01,257
Next to SkyMall, it's, like,
359
00:13:01,298 --> 00:13:02,926
the number two most read
in all of coach.
360
00:13:02,967 --> 00:13:04,386
Well, three with
the safety card,
361
00:13:04,428 --> 00:13:07,098
but get a lot of attention
for Sudden Valley.
362
00:13:07,140 --> 00:13:09,143
And then with your Internet
company, it's gonna be like--
363
00:13:09,185 --> 00:13:11,145
we're gonna have two businesses,
you know?
364
00:13:11,187 --> 00:13:12,856
And yours sounds like
such a natural.
365
00:13:12,898 --> 00:13:14,984
I mean, no one likes
to share their identity.
366
00:13:15,026 --> 00:13:16,194
- Right?
- Well...
367
00:13:16,236 --> 00:13:17,320
Okay, give me
your meal plan card.
368
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:18,948
I'm gonna run in there,
369
00:13:18,989 --> 00:13:20,242
I'm gonna grab a tray,
you run around back,
370
00:13:20,283 --> 00:13:21,243
make sure you get there in time,
371
00:13:21,284 --> 00:13:22,369
before my hand stamp dries.
372
00:13:22,410 --> 00:13:23,371
Okay?
373
00:13:23,412 --> 00:13:25,330
Here we go.
374
00:13:25,373 --> 00:13:27,376
Michael had a right
to be excited.
375
00:13:27,417 --> 00:13:29,796
It had been many years
since the Bluth family
376
00:13:29,838 --> 00:13:31,757
had had any business success.
377
00:13:31,799 --> 00:13:36,012
Not since Michael's mother
Lucille had sold off a quarter
378
00:13:36,054 --> 00:13:39,226
of the company just before the
onset of the great dark period.
379
00:13:39,268 --> 00:13:41,478
But after examining
the company's prospects...
380
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:44,356
Are those police boats?
381
00:13:44,399 --> 00:13:46,110
Lucille 2.
382
00:13:46,151 --> 00:13:47,779
...Stan Sitwell
quickly divested himself.
383
00:13:47,821 --> 00:13:50,408
How'd you like to be bumped up
to Lucille 1?
384
00:13:50,449 --> 00:13:52,367
So the Bluth family
had a new stakeholder,
385
00:13:52,410 --> 00:13:55,205
while the old one,
who knew she'd be implicated
386
00:13:55,247 --> 00:13:57,000
in some of
the family's misdeeds...
387
00:13:57,041 --> 00:13:58,961
You boys know
how to shovel coal?
388
00:13:59,003 --> 00:14:01,840
...headed out on whatever the
opposite of a maiden voyage is.
389
00:14:01,882 --> 00:14:02,924
(ship horn blows)
390
00:14:02,966 --> 00:14:05,303
Michael, however, made a pledge
391
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:08,015
not to get pulled
into the drama
392
00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:11,144
and to let the family
keep themselves all together,
393
00:14:11,185 --> 00:14:12,897
- for a while.
- ...for a while.
394
00:14:12,938 --> 00:14:14,900
And he set off to sea, even as
395
00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:17,277
his mother mysteriously
turned back.
396
00:14:17,319 --> 00:14:20,156
Why the alleged ship-jacker
changed direction
397
00:14:20,197 --> 00:14:21,783
is still unexplained.
398
00:14:21,825 --> 00:14:24,203
But what is known
is that many of the charges
399
00:14:24,245 --> 00:14:26,832
against this seaward matriarch
will fall under
400
00:14:26,874 --> 00:14:30,462
the dominion of the little
understood maritime law.
401
00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:32,840
And soon,
the hearing drew near...
402
00:14:32,882 --> 00:14:34,301
Well, I missed the hearing.
403
00:14:34,343 --> 00:14:36,011
...and then passed.
404
00:14:36,053 --> 00:14:37,889
Oh, it just snuck up on me,
and then they called,
405
00:14:37,931 --> 00:14:39,600
and they wanted me there
at eight bells.
406
00:14:39,642 --> 00:14:42,144
You know, I thought
that was their 5:00 p.m.
407
00:14:42,186 --> 00:14:44,272
By the time I got back,
the courtroom was
408
00:14:44,314 --> 00:14:46,233
reverted back
to the crab restaurant.
409
00:14:46,275 --> 00:14:47,903
"Eight bells" refers
to a watch length.
410
00:14:47,945 --> 00:14:49,237
It's maritime law.
411
00:14:49,279 --> 00:14:51,324
Yes, Michael returned
after all.
412
00:14:51,366 --> 00:14:53,284
You know, one bell is struck
after 30 minutes, two bells...
413
00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:54,620
It seems Michael
had been interested
414
00:14:54,662 --> 00:14:57,374
in maritime law
since playing a lawyer
415
00:14:57,415 --> 00:14:59,293
in an original school play
416
00:14:59,335 --> 00:15:01,922
titled The Trial
of Captain Hook.
417
00:15:01,964 --> 00:15:03,507
♪ You're a crook,
Captain Hook... ♪
418
00:15:03,548 --> 00:15:05,343
Prior to this,
his only dream had been
419
00:15:05,385 --> 00:15:06,844
to possess the power of flight.
420
00:15:06,886 --> 00:15:09,306
But that one turned out to be
421
00:15:09,348 --> 00:15:10,850
not as much fun as he thought.
422
00:15:10,892 --> 00:15:13,104
Watch out for the seal!
423
00:15:13,145 --> 00:15:14,105
(crowd gasps)
424
00:15:14,146 --> 00:15:15,941
Loose seal! Loose seal!
425
00:15:15,983 --> 00:15:17,901
I'm watching!
426
00:15:17,943 --> 00:15:19,320
(crowd gasps)
427
00:15:20,488 --> 00:15:22,324
You're out of the play!
428
00:15:22,366 --> 00:15:24,285
That's why, at sea, a watch with
no incidents is described as
429
00:15:24,327 --> 00:15:25,620
"eight bells and all is well."
430
00:15:25,662 --> 00:15:28,124
Wow, maybe you should be
the maritime lawyer.
431
00:15:28,165 --> 00:15:29,209
This is what I've been saying.
432
00:15:29,251 --> 00:15:30,544
Because I did go to law school
433
00:15:30,585 --> 00:15:32,005
with an emphasis
on maritime law.
434
00:15:32,046 --> 00:15:34,007
Oh, your one year of law school
435
00:15:34,048 --> 00:15:35,926
is going to beat Barry's three?
436
00:15:35,968 --> 00:15:37,512
It's ridiculous.
437
00:15:37,554 --> 00:15:38,596
We'll hire the best.
438
00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:39,597
And who's gonna pay
439
00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:41,100
for the best, Mom?
440
00:15:41,142 --> 00:15:42,393
We have money from
selling some shares.
441
00:15:42,435 --> 00:15:44,354
Plus, we got
that stimulus package.
442
00:15:44,396 --> 00:15:45,606
What are you talking about?
443
00:15:45,648 --> 00:15:47,275
That money is spent.
444
00:15:47,316 --> 00:15:50,404
I just bought 4,000 acres
of California desert.
445
00:15:50,446 --> 00:15:51,406
Time-out.
446
00:15:51,448 --> 00:15:52,949
Hang on.
447
00:15:52,991 --> 00:15:54,618
- What's this?
- Yeah. (clears throat)
448
00:15:54,660 --> 00:15:57,664
I'm gonna be moving there
for a little while.
449
00:15:57,706 --> 00:16:00,418
Old big bear's not gonna be
around much anymore.
450
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,421
- I don't care about that.
- He's in denial.
451
00:16:02,463 --> 00:16:03,922
- We're getting divorced!
- Your mother and I
452
00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:04,924
are getting a divorce.
453
00:16:04,966 --> 00:16:06,301
(screams, gasps)
454
00:16:09,346 --> 00:16:10,265
I want to know...
455
00:16:10,307 --> 00:16:13,311
(whimpering)
456
00:16:16,106 --> 00:16:18,025
I want to know about
the stimulus package.
457
00:16:18,067 --> 00:16:20,945
You couldn't use any of that
money to finish Sudden Valley?
458
00:16:20,987 --> 00:16:22,615
You don't consider
that finished?
459
00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:25,577
So the family got
a little stimmy.
460
00:16:25,619 --> 00:16:27,413
Don't make a federal case
out of it.
461
00:16:27,455 --> 00:16:30,000
That is exactly what they're
going to make out of it.
462
00:16:30,042 --> 00:16:31,585
And when you say "family,"
you mean our family?
463
00:16:31,627 --> 00:16:32,962
They've already got
their hooks in it?
464
00:16:33,004 --> 00:16:34,297
Buster, no offense.
465
00:16:34,339 --> 00:16:35,299
None taken.
466
00:16:35,341 --> 00:16:36,759
Oh, I keep losing my jewels.
467
00:16:36,801 --> 00:16:39,179
Michael, you never
accept help from anyone.
468
00:16:39,221 --> 00:16:41,265
That's why we didn't cut you in.
469
00:16:41,307 --> 00:16:42,683
We didn't want to demean you.
470
00:16:42,725 --> 00:16:45,104
It's like tipping
an African-American.
471
00:16:45,145 --> 00:16:47,524
You wouldn't tip
an African-American, would you?
472
00:16:47,565 --> 00:16:49,527
Of course I would.
473
00:16:49,568 --> 00:16:51,696
On a train?
474
00:16:51,738 --> 00:16:53,156
What...
475
00:16:53,198 --> 00:16:55,118
Did you know about all this?
476
00:16:55,159 --> 00:16:57,454
No, I've been tipping them.
477
00:16:57,496 --> 00:16:58,789
Even a waiter?
478
00:16:58,831 --> 00:17:00,708
Okay, the treadmill's
up and running.
479
00:17:00,750 --> 00:17:03,003
We got the door on,
and we were able
480
00:17:03,045 --> 00:17:05,215
to match the faux on the paint.
481
00:17:09,345 --> 00:17:11,765
Thank you so much
for your hard work.
482
00:17:15,770 --> 00:17:18,149
So long.
483
00:17:19,526 --> 00:17:22,155
Michael, we can't
give you that money.
484
00:17:22,196 --> 00:17:23,656
We got to keep you clean.
485
00:17:23,698 --> 00:17:25,409
You're the key witness
in your mother's trial.
486
00:17:25,450 --> 00:17:26,535
Let me get this straight.
487
00:17:26,577 --> 00:17:28,413
I still have to do all the work
488
00:17:28,454 --> 00:17:31,250
as the president of the company,
but I can't use any of the money
489
00:17:31,292 --> 00:17:33,503
for the company, and you won't
let me help with your case,
490
00:17:33,545 --> 00:17:35,673
but you'd still like for me
to testify at your trial.
491
00:17:35,715 --> 00:17:37,258
Is that right?
492
00:17:37,300 --> 00:17:39,803
I just want you to say
I was a loving mother.
493
00:17:39,845 --> 00:17:41,181
And now perjury.
494
00:17:41,222 --> 00:17:42,515
Hey, it wasn't easy to get
495
00:17:42,557 --> 00:17:44,852
Lucille 2 to keep you on
as president.
496
00:17:44,894 --> 00:17:47,439
- I'll be sure to thank her.
- Don't thank her.
497
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,609
She doesn't have
enough shares to stop us.
498
00:17:49,650 --> 00:17:51,569
Hmm.
499
00:17:51,611 --> 00:17:53,614
And that's how Michael
found a way
500
00:17:53,655 --> 00:17:54,616
to finish
Sudden Valley himself.
501
00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:57,160
- Hello.
- Hello.
502
00:17:57,202 --> 00:18:01,333
He simply traded his shares of
the Bluth company to Lucille 2.
503
00:18:01,374 --> 00:18:03,044
I hold on to Sudden Valley;
it's like a pet project...
504
00:18:03,085 --> 00:18:04,462
- Getting himself out,
- Thank you so much.
505
00:18:04,503 --> 00:18:06,506
and giving the balance of power
506
00:18:06,548 --> 00:18:09,636
to a woman who had
no power of balance.
507
00:18:09,677 --> 00:18:11,096
- (gasps)
- Oh.
508
00:18:11,138 --> 00:18:12,765
(grunts)
509
00:18:12,806 --> 00:18:16,144
And for the first time,
he didn't feel he needed
510
00:18:16,186 --> 00:18:19,608
to tell his family
he was done with them.
511
00:18:19,650 --> 00:18:21,151
But he did anyway.
512
00:18:21,193 --> 00:18:23,488
You know what,
I am done with this family.
513
00:18:23,529 --> 00:18:25,115
I hope you've saved some money,
514
00:18:25,157 --> 00:18:27,201
'cause you're gonna need
every dime now.
515
00:18:27,243 --> 00:18:28,453
What's this?
516
00:18:28,495 --> 00:18:31,207
And with his newfound wealth,
517
00:18:31,249 --> 00:18:33,543
Michael was not only able
to send his son off
518
00:18:33,585 --> 00:18:35,712
- Get out of here!
- to a bright future
519
00:18:35,754 --> 00:18:38,341
in college,
with the family car...
520
00:18:40,261 --> 00:18:41,846
...he was also able to finish
521
00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:45,476
the long-delayed housing
development Sudden Valley,
522
00:18:45,518 --> 00:18:50,566
but this time,
under his own company name.
523
00:18:50,608 --> 00:18:52,193
Maybe I can give you a tip.
524
00:18:52,235 --> 00:18:53,821
Might want to put a road
up to this place.
525
00:18:53,862 --> 00:18:55,490
Well, we paved the neighborhood.
526
00:18:55,532 --> 00:18:57,492
Just waiting for the city
to build a road to it.
527
00:18:57,534 --> 00:18:59,704
And although his mother's
day in court was something
528
00:18:59,745 --> 00:19:03,876
both he and his college-bound
son would miss,
529
00:19:03,918 --> 00:19:06,422
Michael truly felt
that nothing could go wrong.
530
00:19:06,463 --> 00:19:08,800
And then something did.
531
00:19:08,842 --> 00:19:10,635
(rumbling)
532
00:19:10,677 --> 00:19:12,805
Not that.
That happens all the time.
533
00:19:12,847 --> 00:19:14,391
This.
534
00:19:14,433 --> 00:19:16,852
The collapse of the California
housing market
535
00:19:16,893 --> 00:19:20,316
is taking a personal toll with
cutbacks here at the station.
536
00:19:20,357 --> 00:19:22,694
And since the main Internet
and information cable
537
00:19:22,736 --> 00:19:26,407
had been severed when the
community pool was installed,
538
00:19:26,449 --> 00:19:29,745
Michael suddenly found himself
living in a ghost town
539
00:19:29,786 --> 00:19:31,789
he himself built.
540
00:19:37,630 --> 00:19:40,217
Well, that's not a great sign.
541
00:19:40,259 --> 00:19:42,471
(vulture squawks)
542
00:19:42,512 --> 00:19:44,891
(plane passing overhead)
543
00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:54,403
This is why you don't
confide in a competitor.
544
00:19:54,445 --> 00:19:56,073
(vulture squawks)
545
00:19:57,491 --> 00:19:58,826
NARRATOR:
Michael was desperate to cover
546
00:19:58,868 --> 00:20:00,578
his copious building costs...
547
00:20:00,620 --> 00:20:01,789
Just till I get on my feet.
548
00:20:01,830 --> 00:20:03,499
...so he returned to a woman
549
00:20:03,540 --> 00:20:05,835
he could count on
to put off his downfall.
550
00:20:05,877 --> 00:20:07,671
- I got you!
- Just as he could count on
551
00:20:07,713 --> 00:20:09,716
her putting him off
and falling down.
552
00:20:09,758 --> 00:20:11,134
You did. Bye-bye.
553
00:20:11,176 --> 00:20:12,512
Oop.
554
00:20:12,553 --> 00:20:14,765
That's a hot mess.
555
00:20:14,807 --> 00:20:16,517
But weeks
stretched into months,
556
00:20:16,558 --> 00:20:18,019
and the situation got bleaker.
557
00:20:18,061 --> 00:20:20,940
(wind whistling)
558
00:20:20,981 --> 00:20:23,902
And it was either this
that made him lose hope...
559
00:20:26,823 --> 00:20:28,116
(weakly):
Love each other.
560
00:20:28,157 --> 00:20:29,952
Pete! Pete!
561
00:20:29,993 --> 00:20:32,831
...or possibly it was
the death of that mailman...
562
00:20:32,872 --> 00:20:33,873
Wait here.
563
00:20:33,915 --> 00:20:35,167
Hang on, Pete!
564
00:20:35,209 --> 00:20:36,168
...but Michael finally gave up.
565
00:20:36,210 --> 00:20:37,587
I got one bar!
566
00:20:37,629 --> 00:20:39,256
And having alienated
567
00:20:39,297 --> 00:20:40,883
everyone else in the family,
568
00:20:40,925 --> 00:20:43,053
turned to the one person
he had left.
569
00:20:43,095 --> 00:20:46,724
I thought we'd have Thanksgiving
here for your senior year.
570
00:20:46,766 --> 00:20:49,270
I don't have a kitchen.
571
00:20:49,311 --> 00:20:51,314
Oh, these are my clothes.
572
00:20:52,649 --> 00:20:54,944
Pete died.
573
00:20:54,986 --> 00:20:56,864
God.
574
00:20:56,905 --> 00:21:00,910
And so Michael moved into
his son's college dorm room.
575
00:21:02,955 --> 00:21:04,207
You are kidding me.
576
00:21:04,249 --> 00:21:05,750
They're gonna be
in seat backs today?
577
00:21:05,792 --> 00:21:06,793
That is great news.
578
00:21:06,835 --> 00:21:08,671
Which, in the new economy,
579
00:21:08,713 --> 00:21:10,716
wasn't as unusual a phenomenon
as you might think.
580
00:21:10,757 --> 00:21:12,677
Don't go through my stuff,
Granddad.
581
00:21:12,719 --> 00:21:15,139
Hey, who do you think
paid for your stuff?
582
00:21:15,181 --> 00:21:17,141
Excuse me. Sorry. Do you know
where George Michael is?
583
00:21:17,183 --> 00:21:18,768
Um, he's in the computer lab.
584
00:21:18,810 --> 00:21:20,270
Great.
585
00:21:20,312 --> 00:21:22,315
- There's a computer lab?
- There's a computer lab?
586
00:21:22,356 --> 00:21:23,316
Huh.
587
00:21:23,357 --> 00:21:25,068
I'm putting up a wall.
588
00:21:25,110 --> 00:21:27,655
We need to rework
our whole system here.
589
00:21:27,697 --> 00:21:29,575
Sounds like you guys are working
on your privacy software, huh?
590
00:21:29,617 --> 00:21:30,868
Hey. How'd you find me?
591
00:21:30,910 --> 00:21:32,829
Uh, Trang's grandfather.
592
00:21:32,871 --> 00:21:35,875
Boy, shoot me if I'm 86, living
in my grandson's dorm, huh?
593
00:21:35,917 --> 00:21:37,920
Pal, good news.
594
00:21:37,961 --> 00:21:39,755
The article that they did on me
in Altitude magazine
595
00:21:39,796 --> 00:21:40,757
comes out today.
596
00:21:40,798 --> 00:21:42,635
You're in Attitude?
597
00:21:42,676 --> 00:21:44,261
That magazine is gay.
598
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:46,848
Oh, he wasn't being flip
with the word "gay."
599
00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:50,061
Attitude is a British magazine
for homosexuals.
600
00:21:50,102 --> 00:21:51,647
Altitude.
601
00:21:51,688 --> 00:21:53,273
It is OutWest Airlines'
in-flight magazine.
602
00:21:53,315 --> 00:21:54,317
Can I see it?
603
00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:56,069
Probably doesn't have it.
604
00:21:56,110 --> 00:21:58,113
Try finding a flight at this
time of the year. (laughs)
605
00:21:58,155 --> 00:22:00,867
You ever even been on a plane,
you piece of (bleep)?
606
00:22:02,286 --> 00:22:04,581
So can I see it?
607
00:22:04,623 --> 00:22:07,627
It-it is not in the terrestrial
newsstands just yet.
608
00:22:07,669 --> 00:22:09,337
Guess what though. You,
my friend, are in the article.
609
00:22:09,379 --> 00:22:11,257
- I'm in it?
- You're in it, you're in it.
610
00:22:11,298 --> 00:22:13,301
I mentioned you; I mentioned
that I'm living in your dorm.
611
00:22:13,343 --> 00:22:15,763
I thought that it might help
with your popularity problem.
612
00:22:15,805 --> 00:22:18,140
Well, I'm gonna get going
613
00:22:18,182 --> 00:22:20,018
- while the room is empty, so...
- Okay. Great.
614
00:22:20,060 --> 00:22:21,396
See you later.
615
00:22:21,437 --> 00:22:23,077
Boy, that's got to
drive you crazy, right?
616
00:22:23,106 --> 00:22:24,275
The whole reason you had to come
617
00:22:24,316 --> 00:22:26,067
to the computer lab
was for privacy.
618
00:22:26,110 --> 00:22:28,405
It's no wonder you can't
get a real girl up there.
619
00:22:28,446 --> 00:22:30,950
Michael was referring
to something he'd walked in on
620
00:22:30,992 --> 00:22:32,411
a few days earlier.
621
00:22:32,452 --> 00:22:33,912
There's a girl in there.
622
00:22:33,954 --> 00:22:36,249
There is?
623
00:22:36,291 --> 00:22:38,294
Where the hell is
George Michael?
624
00:22:38,335 --> 00:22:40,086
- Excuse me. Hello. Oh.
- Dad.
625
00:22:40,129 --> 00:22:41,131
- Hi.
- Yeah.
626
00:22:41,172 --> 00:22:42,299
There's nobody in here.
627
00:22:42,340 --> 00:22:44,135
Buddy, bad news.
628
00:22:44,176 --> 00:22:46,013
P-Hound is yanking
our chain again.
629
00:22:46,054 --> 00:22:47,723
- Uncle Michael.
- Oh, my God.
630
00:22:47,764 --> 00:22:48,850
- Hi.
- Hello there.
631
00:22:48,891 --> 00:22:51,854
There is a kind of girl here.
632
00:22:51,895 --> 00:22:53,439
Didn't say it was your cousin.
633
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:54,816
Well, he doesn't know.
634
00:22:54,858 --> 00:22:56,108
Now, that's smart.
635
00:22:56,151 --> 00:22:58,779
Let him think
there's a girl in here.
636
00:22:58,821 --> 00:23:00,741
Actually, we've been talking
about how crowded that room is,
637
00:23:00,782 --> 00:23:04,287
and P-Hound was suggesting that
maybe we, maybe we do a vote
638
00:23:04,329 --> 00:23:06,122
to see who stays
in the dorm room.
639
00:23:06,165 --> 00:23:07,959
He suggested that?
Are you serious?
640
00:23:08,001 --> 00:23:10,880
Well, the thing is that the room
is only sanctioned for two.
641
00:23:10,921 --> 00:23:12,089
Right, and we have a vote.
642
00:23:12,130 --> 00:23:13,342
He's gone in two seconds.
643
00:23:13,383 --> 00:23:15,093
Ah.
644
00:23:15,134 --> 00:23:16,471
Two against one, right?
645
00:23:16,512 --> 00:23:18,389
- Well, actually...
- We got to do it.
646
00:23:18,431 --> 00:23:21,018
The thing is that it kind of
puts me in an awkward position.
647
00:23:21,060 --> 00:23:22,729
- Hi.
- Hey.
648
00:23:22,771 --> 00:23:24,482
Because since there's only
three people voting,
649
00:23:24,523 --> 00:23:27,110
everyone's gonna know
who voted against who.
650
00:23:27,151 --> 00:23:28,987
Well, what about if your
"girlfriend" wants to move in.
651
00:23:29,029 --> 00:23:30,114
That way, she gets a vote.
652
00:23:30,155 --> 00:23:31,199
(laughs)
653
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:32,785
I'm just here for tutoring.
654
00:23:32,826 --> 00:23:34,244
She's not my girlfriend,
she's my cousin.
655
00:23:34,286 --> 00:23:35,330
I'm not attracted to him.
656
00:23:35,372 --> 00:23:36,998
Well, why's that even an issue?
657
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:39,335
P-Hound doesn't know
any of that stuff. Okay?
658
00:23:39,377 --> 00:23:42,130
He'll just think that her vote's
the vote that got him out.
659
00:23:42,171 --> 00:23:45,009
Well, wouldn't my girlfriend
want to get rid of my father?
660
00:23:45,051 --> 00:23:46,428
- I'm not your girlfriend.
- Not your girlfriend.
661
00:23:46,470 --> 00:23:48,389
No, but he doesn't know that.
662
00:23:48,430 --> 00:23:50,058
No, well, someone's got to vote
for me, that's right.
663
00:23:50,100 --> 00:23:51,393
Otherwise, it's suspicious.
664
00:23:51,434 --> 00:23:53,145
We don't want
a palace coup, right?
665
00:23:53,186 --> 00:23:54,773
- Well, I'll vote you out.
- Yeah, I will.
666
00:23:54,815 --> 00:23:56,233
- Happy to do it.
- I wouldn't make you do that.
667
00:23:56,274 --> 00:23:57,777
You know, then I fall down
a flight of stairs,
668
00:23:57,819 --> 00:23:58,861
I crack my head open,
you feel bad
669
00:23:58,903 --> 00:23:59,946
about yourself your whole life.
670
00:23:59,988 --> 00:24:01,323
And perhaps it was the chair
671
00:24:01,365 --> 00:24:03,159
that fooled Michael
into thinking
672
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:05,161
his next idea was a good one.
673
00:24:05,202 --> 00:24:08,082
What if I vote myself out?
674
00:24:08,124 --> 00:24:09,835
You'd do that?
675
00:24:09,876 --> 00:24:11,045
How would that help?
676
00:24:11,087 --> 00:24:12,880
It's simple algebra.
677
00:24:12,922 --> 00:24:15,342
You two vote against P-Hound,
nobody knows who did what,
678
00:24:15,384 --> 00:24:17,470
because there's a vote
against me in there,
679
00:24:17,512 --> 00:24:19,557
and it's adios, brothiero.
680
00:24:19,598 --> 00:24:21,308
It cannot fail.
681
00:24:21,350 --> 00:24:23,562
Michael was pleased
with his plan.
682
00:24:23,603 --> 00:24:25,273
Won't that make it a tie?
683
00:24:25,314 --> 00:24:26,274
Briefly.
684
00:24:26,315 --> 00:24:27,818
Hmm?
685
00:24:27,860 --> 00:24:29,445
I mean, if the two of us
vote against P-Hound,
686
00:24:29,486 --> 00:24:31,406
and you and P-Hound
vote against you,
687
00:24:31,448 --> 00:24:33,367
then it's two against two,
right?
688
00:24:33,409 --> 00:24:36,163
Wow, you think, you think
that'd he'd vote against me?
689
00:24:36,204 --> 00:24:37,539
I mean...
690
00:24:38,373 --> 00:24:39,375
Um...
691
00:24:39,417 --> 00:24:40,835
All right, new plan.
692
00:24:40,877 --> 00:24:42,504
The details of the plan
693
00:24:42,546 --> 00:24:44,340
continued to develop
through lunch.
694
00:24:44,382 --> 00:24:45,842
MICHAEL:
So we got two scenarios.
695
00:24:45,884 --> 00:24:47,887
It's either two votes
against P-Hound,
696
00:24:47,928 --> 00:24:49,598
one vote against Maeby,
one against me,
697
00:24:49,639 --> 00:24:53,060
with that vote being my own;
or if it's two votes against me,
698
00:24:53,102 --> 00:24:54,645
then clearly
P-Hound is being nasty,
699
00:24:54,687 --> 00:24:56,857
that triggers a recount,
and then it's a P-Hound blitz.
700
00:24:56,899 --> 00:24:58,359
We all vote against P-Hound,
he's gone.
701
00:24:58,401 --> 00:24:59,569
Mm-hmm.
702
00:24:59,611 --> 00:25:01,279
What if whoever loses...
703
00:25:01,322 --> 00:25:02,531
Yeah?
704
00:25:02,573 --> 00:25:04,493
...refuses to go?
705
00:25:04,534 --> 00:25:06,913
You think P-Hound would do that?
706
00:25:06,954 --> 00:25:08,372
Okay, new plan.
707
00:25:08,414 --> 00:25:10,042
And so the planning
continued through
708
00:25:10,083 --> 00:25:12,253
what should have been
organic chemistry.
709
00:25:12,294 --> 00:25:14,423
MICHAEL:
We all pack ahead of time,
710
00:25:14,465 --> 00:25:17,219
really pack a bag, so it doesn't
look rigged, you know?
711
00:25:17,260 --> 00:25:18,845
And then the loser,
straight out the door.
712
00:25:18,887 --> 00:25:20,305
I mean, that's-that's the deal.
713
00:25:20,348 --> 00:25:22,099
You know, that's the cost
of having a vote,
714
00:25:22,141 --> 00:25:23,101
that's the price of freedom.
715
00:25:23,143 --> 00:25:24,561
You know, maybe it's...
716
00:25:24,603 --> 00:25:26,105
maybe it's better
if we're all just
717
00:25:26,147 --> 00:25:27,440
direct with each other,
you know?
718
00:25:27,482 --> 00:25:28,984
Just-just say
what's on our minds.
719
00:25:29,026 --> 00:25:30,528
Yeah, I think it's gonna
come out anyway.
720
00:25:30,569 --> 00:25:35,034
Um, Dad, you know, I-I've really
loved living with you...
721
00:25:35,076 --> 00:25:36,077
No talking.
722
00:25:37,704 --> 00:25:39,958
No talking
once the votes come in.
723
00:25:39,999 --> 00:25:41,627
You're just right out the door.
That's the missing piece.
724
00:25:41,669 --> 00:25:43,295
That's it.
725
00:25:43,336 --> 00:25:45,131
This plan is foolproof.
726
00:25:45,173 --> 00:25:47,927
Oh, I've cherished this,
too, pal.
727
00:25:47,969 --> 00:25:49,470
Yeah. I mean, how many,
how many fathers
728
00:25:49,512 --> 00:25:51,390
get to go to college
with their kid, huh?
729
00:25:51,431 --> 00:25:53,518
So obviously
this is what happened.
730
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:56,354
Michael read
his own vote first.
731
00:25:56,397 --> 00:25:59,401
First vote to remove...
732
00:25:59,442 --> 00:26:00,569
Michael.
733
00:26:00,610 --> 00:26:02,238
Huh, what are you gonna do?
734
00:26:03,615 --> 00:26:06,703
Second vote to remove...
735
00:26:08,955 --> 00:26:10,583
...Michael.
736
00:26:10,624 --> 00:26:14,254
Michael expected this,
but didn't expect the sting.
737
00:26:14,296 --> 00:26:16,173
Wow.
738
00:26:16,215 --> 00:26:19,678
Obviously, if there's a tie,
there's an immediate runoff.
739
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:22,389
Third vote to remove...
740
00:26:23,684 --> 00:26:25,687
...Michael.
741
00:26:32,487 --> 00:26:35,158
(quietly): Did you mean
to write "George Michael"?
742
00:26:35,199 --> 00:26:38,120
Obviously, the verdict was in.
743
00:26:38,162 --> 00:26:40,165
And it's hard to know exactly
744
00:26:40,206 --> 00:26:42,000
why Michael opened
the fourth ballot.
745
00:26:42,043 --> 00:26:46,006
Was it out of hope
or confusion?
746
00:26:46,048 --> 00:26:49,260
Either way, it couldn't be
what he wanted to read.
747
00:27:09,329 --> 00:27:12,709
Michael did the only thing
he could think of
748
00:27:12,751 --> 00:27:15,296
that would save face.
749
00:27:33,278 --> 00:27:35,156
(jet engine roars)
750
00:27:35,198 --> 00:27:38,285
NARRATOR: Michael had just been
stunned by some bad news.
751
00:27:38,327 --> 00:27:40,163
And with nowhere to go,
he decided
752
00:27:40,205 --> 00:27:42,959
to pick up a copy of Altitude
to lift his spirits.
753
00:27:43,001 --> 00:27:44,460
- Hi. Hello.
- Hey.
754
00:27:44,501 --> 00:27:46,046
Where you heading today, sir?
755
00:27:46,088 --> 00:27:47,715
Well, actually,
I just wanted a copy
756
00:27:47,756 --> 00:27:49,968
of your in-flight magazine
Altitude.
757
00:27:50,010 --> 00:27:51,971
Ah, this is ticketing.
758
00:27:52,013 --> 00:27:54,099
You can get the magazine
on the flight.
759
00:27:54,141 --> 00:27:56,811
I get it. But I'm actually--
I'm in the magazine.
760
00:27:56,853 --> 00:27:58,271
How many bags?
761
00:27:59,690 --> 00:28:00,816
Oh, I'm not checking these.
762
00:28:00,858 --> 00:28:01,860
Ah, sorry, you actually
763
00:28:01,901 --> 00:28:03,445
can't carry those on board.
764
00:28:03,486 --> 00:28:05,239
Let me start over.
765
00:28:05,281 --> 00:28:07,367
Uh, I-I am the star of
Altitude magazine this month--
766
00:28:07,409 --> 00:28:09,286
or quarter, actually.
767
00:28:09,327 --> 00:28:12,040
It's an April-September issue,
and I just wanted to get a copy.
768
00:28:12,081 --> 00:28:13,459
I'm not flying anywhere.
769
00:28:13,500 --> 00:28:14,877
Why do you have suitcases?
770
00:28:14,918 --> 00:28:16,171
Those are irrelevant.
771
00:28:16,212 --> 00:28:17,255
Not to me.
772
00:28:17,297 --> 00:28:19,216
Okay.
773
00:28:19,258 --> 00:28:22,262
I was mistakenly voted out of
a four-person housing situation,
774
00:28:22,304 --> 00:28:25,016
uh, in a pack-first,
no-talking-after scenario.
775
00:28:25,058 --> 00:28:26,392
Does that clear it up for you?
776
00:28:26,435 --> 00:28:28,896
What do you mean
by "mistakenly"?
777
00:28:28,937 --> 00:28:31,066
I voted against myself to spare
my son the embarrassment
778
00:28:31,107 --> 00:28:34,028
of, of having to vote
his own father out of his dorm.
779
00:28:34,070 --> 00:28:35,238
That's all.
780
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:36,865
But that leaves
three other votes.
781
00:28:36,907 --> 00:28:38,034
Yeah.
782
00:28:38,076 --> 00:28:39,911
Can I get a copy
of the magazine, please?
783
00:28:39,952 --> 00:28:42,289
No, I'm sorry,
they're actually for passengers.
784
00:28:42,331 --> 00:28:44,042
We don't even give out
honey nuts, so we're not gonna
785
00:28:44,084 --> 00:28:46,212
- give you a magazine.
- Who wants honey nuts?
786
00:28:46,253 --> 00:28:47,421
I don't want the honey nuts.
787
00:28:47,463 --> 00:28:48,757
I want to just jump
onto the plane,
788
00:28:48,799 --> 00:28:49,966
- grab a magazine.
- Oh, okay,
789
00:28:50,008 --> 00:28:51,385
yeah, sure, we just, uh,
let people walk
790
00:28:51,427 --> 00:28:52,929
onto the plane all the time.
791
00:28:52,970 --> 00:28:55,474
- Do you want a box cutter also?
- (laughter)
792
00:28:55,516 --> 00:28:57,102
- Oh.
- Nice.
793
00:28:57,143 --> 00:28:59,020
These guys are jerks.
794
00:28:59,062 --> 00:29:00,272
Take that, take that.
795
00:29:00,314 --> 00:29:03,026
Enjoy.
796
00:29:03,068 --> 00:29:04,277
Tell you what--
give me a one- way ticket
797
00:29:04,319 --> 00:29:06,364
to your cheapest destination,
please.
798
00:29:06,405 --> 00:29:08,909
Oh, you lucked out.
799
00:29:08,951 --> 00:29:10,870
Today it's Pittsburgh.
800
00:29:10,912 --> 00:29:13,207
He's good.
801
00:29:13,249 --> 00:29:15,000
What's the second cheapest?
802
00:29:15,042 --> 00:29:16,962
NARRATOR: So Michael ended up
spending a little more
803
00:29:17,003 --> 00:29:18,798
to fly a little less,
804
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:21,134
and after some confusion
at security...
805
00:29:21,175 --> 00:29:22,427
But you've got nothing
in your luggage.
806
00:29:22,469 --> 00:29:23,512
I wasn't supposed to be
traveling today.
807
00:29:23,554 --> 00:29:25,098
I told you, it was
808
00:29:25,140 --> 00:29:26,182
a voting situation, there was a
miscalculation.
809
00:29:26,224 --> 00:29:27,476
Well, I mean, obviously
810
00:29:27,518 --> 00:29:29,061
P-Hound's gonna vote
against you.
811
00:29:29,103 --> 00:29:30,856
- I've never seen nothing...
- These three people with burkas
812
00:29:30,897 --> 00:29:32,567
just walked right by you.
813
00:29:32,608 --> 00:29:34,944
...he found his seat.
814
00:29:34,986 --> 00:29:38,032
Unfortunately the seat
he was assigned didn't have
815
00:29:38,074 --> 00:29:39,951
a seat back pocket.
816
00:29:39,993 --> 00:29:43,080
Hello, hi,
does each ticket entitle
817
00:29:43,122 --> 00:29:44,833
the passenger
to an in-flight magazine?
818
00:29:44,875 --> 00:29:46,335
No, it only guarantees you
a seat.
819
00:29:46,377 --> 00:29:48,337
Perhaps I can ask
another passenger for one,
820
00:29:48,379 --> 00:29:50,424
or if I'd rather, you can.
821
00:29:50,465 --> 00:29:53,303
NARRATOR: Michael had
to go back four seats
822
00:29:53,344 --> 00:29:55,681
before someone would.
823
00:30:00,646 --> 00:30:03,400
And Michael kicked himself
for a pose
824
00:30:03,442 --> 00:30:06,613
he thought would express
humility to Sanjiv,
825
00:30:06,654 --> 00:30:09,575
the Altitude photographer.
826
00:30:09,617 --> 00:30:12,078
And so Michael--
827
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:14,999
a man who'd for years
threatened to leave
828
00:30:15,041 --> 00:30:18,378
his family but had always
stayed for his son,
829
00:30:18,420 --> 00:30:22,384
a man who no longer had that
excuse nor anywhere to live--
830
00:30:22,426 --> 00:30:24,930
found himself
with nothing to lose
831
00:30:24,971 --> 00:30:27,558
in a town
that he'd always imagined
832
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:29,602
would be his destiny,
833
00:30:29,644 --> 00:30:33,149
and for the first time
in many years,
834
00:30:33,191 --> 00:30:35,193
Michael had hope.
835
00:30:41,285 --> 00:30:43,412
Michael steps out
of the air-conditioned airport.
836
00:30:43,454 --> 00:30:46,416
Hope you know a good place
to live because I'm...
837
00:30:46,458 --> 00:30:49,003
Ooh, dear Lord.
838
00:30:49,045 --> 00:30:50,547
(chuckles)
'Cause I'm looking
839
00:30:50,589 --> 00:30:52,384
- to make a new start.
- Don't touch that handle.
840
00:30:52,425 --> 00:30:53,718
Whoa, Mother of God!
841
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:55,680
Dear Lord!
842
00:30:55,721 --> 00:30:57,098
Whoo!
843
00:30:57,139 --> 00:30:59,101
NARRATOR:
And Michael returns
844
00:30:59,142 --> 00:31:03,023
to the only viable place
he can think of to live...
845
00:31:03,065 --> 00:31:05,359
Gentlemen, start your engines.
846
00:31:05,401 --> 00:31:08,154
...where he begins his new life
cleaning up
847
00:31:08,196 --> 00:31:10,157
after his family's old one.
848
00:31:10,199 --> 00:31:11,743
Buster.
849
00:31:11,785 --> 00:31:16,040
No... no, Gob.
850
00:31:16,082 --> 00:31:18,043
- (ostrich screeches)
- Oh!
851
00:31:18,085 --> 00:31:20,088
NARRATOR:
It was Lindsay.
852
00:31:20,614 --> 00:31:24,507
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for QRUS by gybe