1 00:00:00,090 --> 00:00:02,927 Welcome to the distant future. 2 00:00:03,343 --> 00:00:07,765 This is pretty neat because the state of Nevada has given us... 3 00:00:08,807 --> 00:00:12,603 rented us a virtual reality system, which is for training purposes. 4 00:00:12,686 --> 00:00:15,773 You can be in... Travis, where are you now? 5 00:00:15,856 --> 00:00:18,567 Yeah, it's not just a target range. It's like a... 6 00:00:18,650 --> 00:00:20,945 like an inner city neighborhood. 7 00:00:21,027 --> 00:00:23,989 That's a good question. Is there hail or snow or anything? 8 00:00:24,072 --> 00:00:26,116 Across the street, I'm going into the bank. 9 00:00:29,661 --> 00:00:33,457 - Shit! Shit! - Sorry. Sorry. 10 00:00:33,874 --> 00:00:35,375 - Whoa, really scary guy! - Scary guy? 11 00:00:35,459 --> 00:00:36,919 Scary guy! Scary guy! 12 00:00:37,002 --> 00:00:38,336 Where? Where? 13 00:00:42,507 --> 00:00:44,718 It's a sad day here in Reno. 14 00:00:44,802 --> 00:00:48,179 We have a frequent public nuisance named T.T. 15 00:00:48,263 --> 00:00:49,347 I'm not sure what happened to her 16 00:00:49,431 --> 00:00:51,725 but her aunt sure was a pillar in the community, 17 00:00:51,809 --> 00:00:53,602 and so, we're mourning her today. 18 00:00:55,186 --> 00:00:58,106 The Reno Sheriff's Department has decided to pitch in 19 00:00:58,189 --> 00:01:01,234 and we're all pall bearers for her coffin. 20 00:01:01,318 --> 00:01:03,403 She was a great lady and she... 21 00:01:04,029 --> 00:01:06,323 started a... 22 00:01:07,992 --> 00:01:10,828 an after-school program for homeless children. 23 00:01:11,453 --> 00:01:14,372 - She donated books to people in need. - Donated books. 24 00:01:15,415 --> 00:01:17,584 And T.T. is going through her stages of grief. 25 00:01:17,668 --> 00:01:19,879 It's really heartbreaking. 26 00:01:19,962 --> 00:01:21,964 I've never seen anything so sad. 27 00:01:22,882 --> 00:01:25,968 You know, everyone experiences bereavement differently, 28 00:01:26,052 --> 00:01:28,888 so we try to have room for that... 29 00:01:28,971 --> 00:01:30,389 - Yeah. - ... experience. 30 00:01:30,472 --> 00:01:33,141 Sometimes they cry, sometimes they hump things. 31 00:01:34,060 --> 00:01:35,477 Sometimes they dance. Oh. 32 00:01:35,561 --> 00:01:37,437 Okay. Yeah. 33 00:01:39,815 --> 00:01:40,983 All right. 34 00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:42,818 - My condolences. - My... 35 00:01:44,987 --> 00:01:46,864 - Okay. Thank you. - You're very welcome. 36 00:01:57,083 --> 00:02:00,210 We appreciate it so much. Thank you. 37 00:02:03,129 --> 00:02:04,256 Oh, wow. 38 00:02:04,339 --> 00:02:06,675 - Be a lady. Be a lady. - Okay. Okay. 39 00:02:08,010 --> 00:02:09,053 Be a lady. 40 00:02:10,012 --> 00:02:11,013 All right... 41 00:02:12,347 --> 00:02:15,976 - You gotta be easy on that. - Be a lady. Be a lady. 42 00:02:16,060 --> 00:02:17,227 - All right, here we go. - Thank you T.T. 43 00:02:17,310 --> 00:02:18,645 We really appreciate you guys. 44 00:02:18,729 --> 00:02:20,731 - Absolutely. - I mean, in general. Yeah. 45 00:02:20,814 --> 00:02:22,942 Well, thank you, thank you. I wouldn't necessarily... 46 00:02:23,025 --> 00:02:25,235 - T.T. Okay. Okay. - Okay, don't... 47 00:02:25,318 --> 00:02:27,947 No, let her. She's gotta mourn. Let her mourn. 48 00:02:28,030 --> 00:02:30,156 - She's gotta mourn too. - No hitting. 49 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:34,661 So, uh, excuse me... Excuse us. Excuse us. 50 00:02:34,745 --> 00:02:37,039 If we could just... Very sorry. Just have to... 51 00:02:37,123 --> 00:02:38,415 Wait. Wait. 52 00:02:38,498 --> 00:02:40,208 You can't go through here. 53 00:02:40,292 --> 00:02:41,919 They're doing demolition. 54 00:02:42,002 --> 00:02:43,629 - They're doing demolition. Back it up. - Oh, shit. 55 00:02:43,712 --> 00:02:45,965 - All right. - Back it up. Back it up. 56 00:02:48,008 --> 00:02:51,219 Sorry. I'm so sorry. Bringing this back. 57 00:02:51,303 --> 00:02:53,263 Absolutely. Absolutely. 58 00:02:58,435 --> 00:03:01,647 To starboard. To the starboard. 59 00:03:01,730 --> 00:03:04,274 Watch it. Watch your step. There's a curb. 60 00:03:04,357 --> 00:03:05,985 - There's a curb here. - Hard to port. 61 00:03:06,068 --> 00:03:08,154 - Here we go. - Hard to port. 62 00:03:08,654 --> 00:03:10,823 Oh, God, no! Oh, God, no! 63 00:03:11,364 --> 00:03:13,117 Go, go, go. Oh, it's so cold! 64 00:03:13,199 --> 00:03:14,994 Ah, brrr! 65 00:03:15,201 --> 00:03:16,495 We can get through this. 66 00:03:16,578 --> 00:03:18,872 Oh, God. Oh, that was really... 67 00:03:19,581 --> 00:03:20,666 Okay. 68 00:03:22,751 --> 00:03:23,919 Son of a... 69 00:03:24,878 --> 00:03:26,463 Quick, come. We're almost there. 70 00:03:26,546 --> 00:03:28,090 Go, go, go, go, go! 71 00:03:29,133 --> 00:03:31,010 That's a good pace. Great pace. 72 00:03:31,093 --> 00:03:32,928 Did we make a wrong turn or something? 73 00:03:35,014 --> 00:03:36,140 Jesus! 74 00:03:39,143 --> 00:03:41,478 I think we made a wrong turn, I swear. 75 00:03:42,354 --> 00:03:44,606 Shit! Shit! 76 00:03:51,237 --> 00:03:53,406 Are we following, T.T.? 77 00:04:00,789 --> 00:04:02,415 Go, go, go! 78 00:04:03,834 --> 00:04:06,753 - It's okay. - We're almost here! 79 00:04:06,837 --> 00:04:09,798 - This way, this way. - Hard to starboard. 80 00:04:10,423 --> 00:04:12,134 Hard to starboard. 81 00:04:14,678 --> 00:04:15,721 Jesus! 82 00:04:16,138 --> 00:04:17,597 Okay. Okay. 83 00:04:28,650 --> 00:04:31,111 Five, six, seven, eight. And... 84 00:04:33,488 --> 00:04:36,242 - Brothers and sisters... - It's fine. Go! 85 00:04:36,324 --> 00:04:38,785 Please join me for a moment of silence. 86 00:04:41,371 --> 00:04:43,040 Just a moment of silence. 87 00:05:02,059 --> 00:05:04,310 - Sheriff's Department. - Somebody called you guys. 88 00:05:04,394 --> 00:05:05,687 I'm sorry, it took a while. 89 00:05:05,771 --> 00:05:08,481 Yeah, we just sat down to eat when we got the call. 90 00:05:08,565 --> 00:05:10,525 I'm Steve. I'm the flight attendant. 91 00:05:10,609 --> 00:05:13,279 - Kind of in charge of economy class. - Sure. 92 00:05:13,361 --> 00:05:15,572 - Exhausting! - Yeah, I bet it's exhausting. 93 00:05:15,655 --> 00:05:19,451 What happened wrong today is a woman... 94 00:05:19,534 --> 00:05:22,079 and I don't want you to let her know we're talking about her... 95 00:05:22,162 --> 00:05:25,291 in a blue shameez in the third row... 96 00:05:25,373 --> 00:05:27,876 Guys, can I save you some time? 97 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,377 - Ma'am. Ma'am! - Ma'am. 98 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:32,756 So she's sitting... You know what, I'll pretend that I'm her, okay? 99 00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:34,549 - And I'm gonna sit here and... - First of all, don't dress like that 100 00:05:34,633 --> 00:05:37,052 - if you wanna be taken seriously. - ... she's hitting the buzzer 101 00:05:37,136 --> 00:05:38,846 - every three minutes. - So you're her? 102 00:05:38,929 --> 00:05:40,222 "Sir, I need chap-sticks." 103 00:05:40,306 --> 00:05:43,517 I come over. She says, "Oh, I spilled all the nuts in my lap." 104 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,311 She's like, "Can you grab them? Help me grab them." 105 00:05:45,393 --> 00:05:46,770 - So you're... Yeah. - So you be me, 106 00:05:46,854 --> 00:05:48,814 - and I put my hand down there... - So you're you. 107 00:05:48,897 --> 00:05:50,565 ... and then she starts doing this. 108 00:05:50,649 --> 00:05:54,569 - Okay. - Like trying to shove her vaginal mound into my wrist. 109 00:05:54,653 --> 00:05:56,238 Shut your hole. Shut your hole. 110 00:05:56,322 --> 00:05:58,615 So she says, "Go up there and grab my jacket, 111 00:05:58,699 --> 00:06:00,450 because, well, I'm seat-belted. 112 00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:03,204 As I'm grabbing her jacket, she's doing this, 113 00:06:03,287 --> 00:06:06,665 just giving me little Eskimo kisses with her nose. 114 00:06:06,748 --> 00:06:08,625 - Just like this. - This is... 115 00:06:08,709 --> 00:06:10,377 - Nice and slow. - This is... I do... 116 00:06:10,460 --> 00:06:11,795 I'm looking for a jacket... 117 00:06:11,879 --> 00:06:13,922 - Why are you wearing shorts? - ... that doesn't even exist. 118 00:06:14,006 --> 00:06:15,465 And she's going like this 119 00:06:15,549 --> 00:06:17,926 - pretending she's reaching in the back... - I will sue you! 120 00:06:18,010 --> 00:06:19,720 ... for my jacket. 121 00:06:19,803 --> 00:06:21,889 - And what's really happening is... - Excuse me. 122 00:06:21,972 --> 00:06:25,351 ... I'm getting ass-raped by her vaginal mound. 123 00:06:25,893 --> 00:06:29,230 Excuse me. I'm sorry. He doesn't work for the airline. 124 00:06:29,521 --> 00:06:30,731 He's the one I called you about. 125 00:06:30,814 --> 00:06:33,067 He was rubbing his groin on this passenger. 126 00:06:34,068 --> 00:06:35,944 Shit! God damn it. Get down in first! 127 00:06:36,237 --> 00:06:39,907 Don't get near me or I will open this door 128 00:06:39,990 --> 00:06:42,159 and suck you all out into space. 129 00:06:42,243 --> 00:06:43,535 I don't think he's bluffing. 130 00:06:44,452 --> 00:06:46,997 - It's like 12 feet down, right? 14 feet? - It's like 12 feet. 131 00:06:54,004 --> 00:06:55,714 We work really hard, 132 00:06:55,797 --> 00:06:57,299 but if we didn't love it, 133 00:06:57,383 --> 00:07:00,177 honestly, we wouldn't be here. 134 00:07:00,261 --> 00:07:02,888 Believe it or not, the Reno Sheriff's Department 135 00:07:02,971 --> 00:07:04,348 has jobs available. 136 00:07:04,431 --> 00:07:07,475 Reno Sheriff's Department is looking for a few good men, 137 00:07:08,018 --> 00:07:10,312 and women, and transgender, 138 00:07:10,812 --> 00:07:13,315 and non-gender specific gen-Z-ers. 139 00:07:13,399 --> 00:07:15,234 Even with criminal records. 140 00:07:15,317 --> 00:07:19,238 Up to and including the retarded. 141 00:07:19,321 --> 00:07:21,990 I love it here, and if I didn't, I could quit at any time. 142 00:07:22,074 --> 00:07:24,159 Really, I could just get up and walk out. 143 00:07:24,618 --> 00:07:26,954 I'm so happy, I must be dreaming. 144 00:07:27,537 --> 00:07:31,292 I didn't even use my six hours of time off last Christmas. 145 00:07:32,042 --> 00:07:34,461 So join the Reno Sheriff's Department. 146 00:07:34,544 --> 00:07:37,839 Fax in your applications now. 147 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,003 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -