1
00:00:30,646 --> 00:00:33,774
It's an important and popular fact
2
00:00:33,849 --> 00:00:37,785
that things are not always
what they seem.
3
00:00:37,853 --> 00:00:41,653
For instance, on the planet Earth,
man had always assumed
4
00:00:41,757 --> 00:00:45,318
that he was the most intelligent
species occupying the planet,
5
00:00:45,394 --> 00:00:48,090
instead of the third most intelligent.
6
00:00:48,164 --> 00:00:52,658
The second most intelligent creatures
were dolphins, who, curiously enough,
7
00:00:52,735 --> 00:00:56,671
had long known of the impending
destruction of the planet Earth.
8
00:00:56,739 --> 00:00:59,071
They'd made many attempts
to alert mankind,
9
00:00:59,175 --> 00:01:02,167
but most of their communications
were misinterpreted
10
00:01:02,244 --> 00:01:05,736
as amusing attempts to punch footballs
or whistle for tidbits.
11
00:01:05,848 --> 00:01:10,308
So they eventually decided they would
leave Earth by their own means.
12
00:01:10,386 --> 00:01:13,617
The last ever dolphin message
was misinterpreted
13
00:01:13,689 --> 00:01:16,920
as a sophisticated attempt
to do a backward somersault
14
00:01:17,026 --> 00:01:20,052
through a hoop, whistling
The Star-Spangled Banner.
15
00:01:20,162 --> 00:01:21,891
In fact, the message was this:
16
00:01:21,997 --> 00:01:24,898
"So long and thanks for all the fish. "
17
00:04:00,856 --> 00:04:05,190
The extraordinary story
of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
18
00:04:05,294 --> 00:04:06,955
begins very simply.
19
00:04:07,029 --> 00:04:09,930
It begins with a man.
20
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:18,966
Ooh!
21
00:04:19,108 --> 00:04:20,939
An Earthman, to be precise.
22
00:04:21,010 --> 00:04:22,637
Who no more knows his destiny,
23
00:04:22,711 --> 00:04:26,203
than a tea leaf knows the history
of the East India Company.
24
00:04:28,517 --> 00:04:31,315
His name is Arthur Dent.
25
00:04:31,387 --> 00:04:34,686
He is a five-foot-eight-inch-tall
ape descendant
26
00:04:34,790 --> 00:04:38,783
and someone is trying to drive
a bypass through his house.
27
00:04:44,099 --> 00:04:46,226
What do I want you to do about it?
Find him
28
00:04:46,335 --> 00:04:50,328
and tell him I'm currently lying
flat on my back in front of...
29
00:04:50,406 --> 00:04:51,703
Fine, I'll hold.
30
00:04:51,807 --> 00:04:54,503
You can't lie in front
of the bulldozers for ever.
31
00:04:54,576 --> 00:04:56,703
I'm game. We'll see who rusts first.
32
00:04:56,812 --> 00:05:00,111
This bypass has got to be built
and it is going to be built.
33
00:05:00,215 --> 00:05:04,242
- Why has it got to be built?
- It's a bypass.
34
00:05:04,353 --> 00:05:08,881
You've got to build bypasses. Besides,
you should've protested months ago.
35
00:05:08,991 --> 00:05:12,358
The plans have been on display
at the planning office for a year.
36
00:05:12,428 --> 00:05:15,124
On display?
I had to go down to a cellar.
37
00:05:15,230 --> 00:05:20,566
Mr. Dent, have you any idea how much
damage this bulldozer would suffer
38
00:05:20,636 --> 00:05:23,104
if I just let it roll straight over you?
39
00:05:24,306 --> 00:05:27,298
- How much?
- None at all.
40
00:05:27,376 --> 00:05:30,209
By a strange coincidence,
none at all
41
00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:34,010
is exactly how much suspicion
ape-descendant Arthur had
42
00:05:34,083 --> 00:05:35,880
that one of his closest friends
43
00:05:35,951 --> 00:05:39,648
was not descended from an ape,
but was, in fact, from a small planet
44
00:05:39,722 --> 00:05:43,055
somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse.
45
00:05:43,826 --> 00:05:46,351
Arthur! Arthur!
46
00:05:46,428 --> 00:05:48,225
- Ford!
- Yes?
47
00:05:48,297 --> 00:05:49,764
Here.
48
00:05:49,832 --> 00:05:51,231
Ah, there you are!
49
00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:53,131
Eat, drink. We gotta talk.
50
00:05:53,202 --> 00:05:56,433
Now's not the best time.
They're going to demolish my home.
51
00:05:56,505 --> 00:06:00,942
Whoa! You already...
You already know? How?
52
00:06:01,043 --> 00:06:02,943
What do you m...?
53
00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:07,808
Oh, they, they? When you say
"they" you mean they? Got it.
54
00:06:07,883 --> 00:06:12,582
Listen. I got somethin' important
I gotta tell you. Right now.
55
00:06:12,654 --> 00:06:15,122
Well, what about my house?
56
00:06:19,628 --> 00:06:25,123
Workers of the Earth, I bring
good tidings of peanuts and beer!
57
00:06:35,677 --> 00:06:37,542
- Good. Let's go to the pub.
- Huh?
58
00:06:37,613 --> 00:06:40,582
They won't demolish it
until they've finished the beers.
59
00:06:40,682 --> 00:06:43,082
- Can we trust 'em?
- To the end of the Earth.
60
00:06:43,218 --> 00:06:45,550
- How far's that?
- About 12 minutes away.
61
00:06:45,654 --> 00:06:46,678
Huh?
62
00:06:46,789 --> 00:06:48,790
Barman, six pints of bitter and quickly.
The world's about to end.
63
00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:50,791
Barman, six pints of bitter and quickly.
The world's about to end.
64
00:06:50,859 --> 00:06:52,759
Six pints coming up.
65
00:06:52,861 --> 00:06:56,524
Keep the change.
You got about ten minutes to spend it.
66
00:06:56,632 --> 00:06:59,965
Three pints each? At lunchtime?
67
00:07:07,042 --> 00:07:11,536
Sorry. Ah. Time is an illusion.
68
00:07:11,613 --> 00:07:13,740
Lunchtime, doubly so.
69
00:07:13,849 --> 00:07:17,683
And eat those peanuts,
because you'll need the salt.
70
00:07:17,753 --> 00:07:20,415
- Look, what is going on, Ford?
- Arthur...
71
00:07:22,558 --> 00:07:26,050
What if I told you
I really wasn't from Guildford?
72
00:07:26,128 --> 00:07:30,531
I was from a small planet
somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse?
73
00:07:30,632 --> 00:07:32,725
Is that something
you're likely to say?
74
00:07:32,801 --> 00:07:34,166
Remember when we met?
75
00:07:41,176 --> 00:07:42,336
Out the way!
76
00:07:42,411 --> 00:07:47,007
- Oof!
- Hi.
77
00:07:47,082 --> 00:07:50,108
Wasn't it strange I was trying
to shake hands with a car?
78
00:07:50,185 --> 00:07:51,743
I assumed you were drunk.
79
00:07:51,854 --> 00:07:55,915
I thought cars were the dominant
life form. I was introducing myself.
80
00:07:56,024 --> 00:08:00,461
You saved my life. And now
I'm saving yours. Please drink.
81
00:08:00,529 --> 00:08:03,862
It must be Thursday. I could never get
the hang of Thursdays.
82
00:08:03,966 --> 00:08:07,333
- If this is about your house...
- No, it's not about the house.
83
00:08:11,340 --> 00:08:13,433
- Who's he?
- She. She.
84
00:08:13,508 --> 00:08:17,171
Tricia McMillan.
We met at a fancy-dress party.
85
00:08:18,580 --> 00:08:20,673
I hate those kind of parties.
86
00:08:20,782 --> 00:08:23,683
I'd rather have stayed at home
and ironed my hankies.
87
00:08:23,752 --> 00:08:25,913
- But there I was.
- Who are you?
88
00:08:26,021 --> 00:08:27,750
- Oh!
- And there she was.
89
00:08:27,823 --> 00:08:32,556
- Uh, Dent. Arthur Dent.
- Oh, no. I mean, who are you?
90
00:08:32,628 --> 00:08:35,893
Oh, the costume? Right.
"Livingstone, I presume!"
91
00:08:37,032 --> 00:08:41,401
Yeah, it's not as clever as Darwin,
but the best I could do at short notice.
92
00:08:41,470 --> 00:08:43,495
You're the first to get that right.
93
00:08:43,605 --> 00:08:46,403
- Really?
- Yes. Everyone calls me Santa.
94
00:08:46,475 --> 00:08:49,000
- Right.
- I thought the beagle was a giveaway.
95
00:08:49,111 --> 00:08:50,738
So did I.
96
00:08:50,812 --> 00:08:53,246
People at these parties
are drunken idiots.
97
00:08:53,315 --> 00:08:54,748
What?
98
00:08:54,816 --> 00:08:59,185
All these people are idiots!
God!
99
00:09:01,256 --> 00:09:02,985
That's awkward.
100
00:09:03,058 --> 00:09:04,855
Tell me.
101
00:09:06,762 --> 00:09:09,526
She was amazing though, Ford.
102
00:09:09,631 --> 00:09:12,623
Beautiful, witty, mad as a balloon.
103
00:09:12,701 --> 00:09:17,331
Uh, without the beard,
you look at least 80 years younger.
104
00:09:17,439 --> 00:09:20,169
Maybe I'm de-evolving.
105
00:09:22,978 --> 00:09:25,845
Well, I should tell you
that I do not date
106
00:09:25,914 --> 00:09:28,644
single-celled organisms, okay?
107
00:09:31,353 --> 00:09:33,548
Let's go somewhere.
108
00:09:33,622 --> 00:09:37,786
Yeah. Definitely.
Um, where do you have in mind?
109
00:09:37,859 --> 00:09:41,818
- Madagascar.
- Is that that new club on Dean Street?
110
00:09:41,897 --> 00:09:45,230
No, it's a country
off the coast of Africa.
111
00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:48,303
That Madagascar?
Why are we waiting here?
112
00:09:48,904 --> 00:09:51,429
Wait a sec.
113
00:09:51,506 --> 00:09:53,064
Go.
114
00:09:56,211 --> 00:10:00,705
God, you're serious.
Um, I can't go to Madagascar.
115
00:10:00,816 --> 00:10:03,842
- Why not?
- Because, I just, you know...
116
00:10:03,919 --> 00:10:05,318
- You're serious?
- Yeah.
117
00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:09,050
I want to go somewhere I've never been
and I'd like to go with you, so...
118
00:10:09,124 --> 00:10:11,820
...what do you say, Dr Livingstone?
119
00:10:12,995 --> 00:10:17,762
I say that's
an extraordinary proposition.
120
00:10:17,866 --> 00:10:20,858
I can't go. I mean, I've got a job.
121
00:10:20,969 --> 00:10:23,199
Quit. Get a new one
when you come back.
122
00:10:23,305 --> 00:10:25,296
I don't even know your real name.
Ow! Ow!
123
00:10:25,407 --> 00:10:28,740
- Tricia McMillan.
- Well, Tricia McMillan.
124
00:10:28,810 --> 00:10:32,246
Um, I have a proposition for you.
125
00:10:32,347 --> 00:10:39,253
Why don't we go somewhere
a little closer first, say Cornwall,
126
00:10:39,321 --> 00:10:43,257
and we'll see how it goes.
127
00:10:43,325 --> 00:10:47,887
Right, of course, Cornwall.
128
00:10:47,963 --> 00:10:50,193
Hey, excuse me.
129
00:10:53,101 --> 00:10:54,591
Is this guy boring you?
130
00:10:54,669 --> 00:10:57,229
Why don't you talk to me instead?
131
00:10:57,305 --> 00:11:00,604
I'm from a different planet.
132
00:11:03,278 --> 00:11:06,441
It's true. You want to see my spaceship?
133
00:11:07,949 --> 00:11:11,612
"Do you want to see my spaceship?"
What kind of chat-up line is that?
134
00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:14,883
Mm, that does happen.
135
00:11:14,956 --> 00:11:17,925
Speaking of...
136
00:11:18,026 --> 00:11:20,290
We've got two minutes.
Drink up.
137
00:11:20,395 --> 00:11:22,363
That's my house.
138
00:11:30,138 --> 00:11:34,199
People of Earth, a round of drinks,
for everyone, on me.
139
00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:36,972
You really think
the world's going to end?
140
00:11:37,045 --> 00:11:38,569
Yes.
141
00:11:38,647 --> 00:11:43,107
Shouldn't we lie down, or put a paper
bag over our heads, or something?
142
00:11:43,218 --> 00:11:46,153
- If you like.
- Will it help?
143
00:11:46,221 --> 00:11:48,917
Not at all. See you.
144
00:11:48,990 --> 00:11:50,218
Last orders!
145
00:12:06,575 --> 00:12:08,873
- What is that?
- Run!
146
00:12:08,944 --> 00:12:10,912
Look out!
147
00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:39,769
Aha! Towel!
148
00:12:41,843 --> 00:12:43,834
Arthur!
149
00:12:43,912 --> 00:12:45,880
What the hell are those things?
150
00:12:45,981 --> 00:12:49,508
Yeow! They're ships
from a Vogon constructor fleet.
151
00:12:49,584 --> 00:12:52,781
I picked up their signal this morning.
You'll need this.
152
00:12:54,256 --> 00:12:57,384
- What are you doing?
- We're hitching a ride.
153
00:13:00,629 --> 00:13:02,221
Um, people of Earth,
154
00:13:02,330 --> 00:13:07,768
this is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the
Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council.
155
00:13:07,836 --> 00:13:09,428
As you are probably aware,
156
00:13:09,504 --> 00:13:13,099
plans for the development of the
outlying regions of the galaxy
157
00:13:13,208 --> 00:13:17,736
involve the building of a hyperspace
express route through your star system.
158
00:13:17,846 --> 00:13:22,010
And your planet is one of those
scheduled for demolition.
159
00:13:30,058 --> 00:13:32,549
There's no point
acting surprised about it.
160
00:13:32,627 --> 00:13:35,152
The plans have been on display
161
00:13:35,263 --> 00:13:38,994
at your local planning office
in Alpha Centauri for 50 Earth years.
162
00:13:40,168 --> 00:13:43,865
If you can't be bothered with
local affairs, that's your lookout.
163
00:13:43,939 --> 00:13:46,407
Apathetic bloody planet.
164
00:13:46,474 --> 00:13:49,500
I've no sympathy at all.
165
00:15:36,918 --> 00:15:40,115
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
166
00:15:40,188 --> 00:15:42,179
is a wholly remarkable book.
167
00:15:42,257 --> 00:15:45,522
Perhaps the most remarkable,
certainly the most successful,
168
00:15:45,593 --> 00:15:49,689
ever to come out of the great publishing
corporations of Ursa Minor.
169
00:15:49,764 --> 00:15:53,063
More popular than
The Celestial Homecare Omnibus,
170
00:15:53,168 --> 00:15:56,934
better selling than
53 More Things to Do in Zero Gravity,
171
00:15:57,038 --> 00:16:00,030
and more controversial than
Oolon Colluphid's trilogy
172
00:16:00,108 --> 00:16:03,271
of philosophical blockbusters,
Where God Went Wrong,
173
00:16:03,378 --> 00:16:05,869
Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes,
174
00:16:05,947 --> 00:16:08,279
and Who Is This God Person Anyway?
175
00:16:09,150 --> 00:16:12,085
It's already supplanted
the Encyclopedia Galactica
176
00:16:12,187 --> 00:16:15,156
as the standard repository
of all knowledge and wisdom
177
00:16:15,223 --> 00:16:17,817
for two important reasons.
178
00:16:17,892 --> 00:16:20,486
First, it's slightly cheaper,
179
00:16:20,595 --> 00:16:23,689
and second, it has the words
"Don't Panic"
180
00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:27,257
printed in large,
friendly letters on its cover.
181
00:16:35,877 --> 00:16:38,675
So you're not from Guildford?
182
00:16:38,813 --> 00:16:42,874
Which would explain the accent,
which I've always wondered about.
183
00:16:42,951 --> 00:16:46,751
Um, you're not an out-of-work actor,
184
00:16:46,821 --> 00:16:52,282
but rather a writer for this,
this book thing.
185
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:54,794
Good, huh?
186
00:16:54,863 --> 00:16:57,297
I don't feel well.
I need a cup of tea.
187
00:16:57,365 --> 00:17:00,766
If I asked where we were,
would I regret it?
188
00:17:00,869 --> 00:17:04,100
- We're safe for now.
- Good.
189
00:17:04,205 --> 00:17:08,039
We're in the washroom on one of the
ships of the Vogon constructor fleet.
190
00:17:08,143 --> 00:17:11,635
- Oh, get me home, Ford.
- Arthur, your home is...
191
00:17:11,746 --> 00:17:16,308
Oh, God, my home.
My home was demolished.
192
00:17:21,189 --> 00:17:24,056
You don't remember.
193
00:17:24,159 --> 00:17:30,496
Okay, Arthur, I've got something to tell
you. It's unfortunate, but it's true.
194
00:17:30,565 --> 00:17:33,762
Your home planet has been blown up.
195
00:17:42,610 --> 00:17:46,444
Huh, blown up.
196
00:17:51,519 --> 00:17:53,510
Couldn't you have done something?
197
00:17:53,588 --> 00:17:57,615
I saved your life.
Okay, that makes us even.
198
00:17:57,725 --> 00:18:01,661
It's a tough galaxy. If you want
to survive out here, you've...
199
00:18:01,763 --> 00:18:05,392
...gotta know where your towel is.
200
00:18:05,467 --> 00:18:07,992
Okay, give me a hand over here.
201
00:18:10,438 --> 00:18:14,465
Careful. It's hot.
We've gotta get off this ship.
202
00:18:14,542 --> 00:18:16,635
Before the Vogons find us.
203
00:18:16,711 --> 00:18:19,737
Vogons, they hate hitchhikers. Pull.
204
00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:23,147
Huh?
205
00:18:25,553 --> 00:18:28,886
- Now we'll get a signal.
- What is a Vogon?
206
00:18:28,990 --> 00:18:30,821
Ask the Guide. Say "Vogons".
207
00:18:31,559 --> 00:18:34,653
Vogons.
208
00:18:35,463 --> 00:18:39,866
Vogons are one of the
most unpleasant races in the galaxy.
209
00:18:39,934 --> 00:18:44,268
Not evil, but bad-tempered,
bureaucratic, officious and callous.
210
00:18:44,339 --> 00:18:47,866
They wouldn't even lift a finger
to save their own grandmothers
211
00:18:47,942 --> 00:18:51,207
from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast
of Traal without orders
212
00:18:51,279 --> 00:18:53,747
signed in triplicate,
sent in, sent back,
213
00:18:53,815 --> 00:18:57,148
queried, lost, found,
subjected to public inquiry,
214
00:18:57,285 --> 00:19:00,686
lost again and finally buried
in soft peat for three months
215
00:19:00,755 --> 00:19:03,588
and recycled as firelighters.
216
00:19:04,926 --> 00:19:09,727
On no account should you allow
a Vogon to read poetry to you.
217
00:19:11,366 --> 00:19:15,962
They can't think or imagine.
Most can't spell. They just run things.
218
00:19:19,107 --> 00:19:20,631
Hmm?
219
00:19:22,277 --> 00:19:24,268
And if we don't get a ride soon,
220
00:19:24,379 --> 00:19:27,780
we won't need the Guide to tell us
how unpleasant the Vogons are.
221
00:19:27,849 --> 00:19:30,215
They've already destroyed
a planet today.
222
00:19:30,285 --> 00:19:32,617
That always makes them a little eee!
223
00:19:37,025 --> 00:19:39,687
Ughh! What is that?
224
00:19:39,761 --> 00:19:42,787
- Put this in your ear.
- Huh?
225
00:19:46,568 --> 00:19:50,436
We have unwittingly
picked up a couple of hitchhikers.
226
00:19:50,505 --> 00:19:53,201
The fish is translating for you.
227
00:19:54,175 --> 00:19:57,303
The Babel fish
is small, yellow, leech-like,
228
00:19:57,378 --> 00:20:01,747
and probably the oddest thing
in the universe.
229
00:20:01,816 --> 00:20:06,276
It feeds on brainwave energy,
absorbing unconscious frequencies,
230
00:20:06,354 --> 00:20:08,914
and excreting a matrix
of conscious frequencies
231
00:20:09,057 --> 00:20:11,252
to the speech centers of the brain.
232
00:20:11,359 --> 00:20:14,886
The practical upshot of which is that,
if you stick one in your ear,
233
00:20:14,963 --> 00:20:20,560
you instantly understand
anything said to you in any language.
234
00:20:28,676 --> 00:20:31,144
Resistance is useless.
235
00:20:34,015 --> 00:20:37,041
- All right.
- Someone's coming.
236
00:20:37,151 --> 00:20:39,551
Here we go. Look lively.
237
00:21:00,241 --> 00:21:01,674
Wheee!
238
00:21:06,781 --> 00:21:10,182
Ha, ha!
239
00:21:15,857 --> 00:21:18,553
- Hmmm.
- Sir.
240
00:21:18,626 --> 00:21:21,390
- What?
- Hitchhikers.
241
00:22:00,802 --> 00:22:04,033
"O freddled gruntbuggly... "
242
00:22:04,105 --> 00:22:06,665
No, really, you don't have to read.
243
00:22:06,774 --> 00:22:09,470
We've put you through
enough trouble already.
244
00:22:09,577 --> 00:22:14,708
"... as plerdled gabbleblotchits
on a lurgid bee. "
245
00:22:14,782 --> 00:22:20,152
Vogon poetry is widely accepted
as the third worst in the universe.
246
00:22:21,322 --> 00:22:24,553
The second worst
is that of the Azgoths of Kria.
247
00:22:24,625 --> 00:22:28,186
During a recitation by their
Poet Master, Grunthos the Flatulent,
248
00:22:28,296 --> 00:22:31,197
of his poem
Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty
249
00:22:31,299 --> 00:22:33,859
I Found in my Armpit
One Midsummer Morning,
250
00:22:34,001 --> 00:22:37,198
four of his audience
died of internal hemorrhaging,
251
00:22:37,305 --> 00:22:40,832
and the President of the
Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council
252
00:22:40,942 --> 00:22:43,308
survived by gnawing
one of his own legs off.
253
00:22:43,377 --> 00:22:48,337
"Or I will rend thee
in the gobberwarts... "
254
00:22:48,416 --> 00:22:51,351
"... with my blurgle... "
255
00:22:51,452 --> 00:22:55,855
The absolute worst poetry was
by Paula Millstone Jennings of Sussex.
256
00:22:55,923 --> 00:22:58,448
Luckily, it was destroyed
when the Earth was.
257
00:22:58,559 --> 00:23:03,223
"See if I don't. " Yeah.
258
00:23:05,399 --> 00:23:10,803
So, Earthlings,
I present you with a choice.
259
00:23:10,872 --> 00:23:14,000
Either die in the vacuum of space,
260
00:23:14,108 --> 00:23:18,909
or tell me what you thought of my poem.
261
00:23:20,515 --> 00:23:24,451
A... a... actually, I rather liked it.
262
00:23:24,585 --> 00:23:26,553
- Hmm?
- Yeah.
263
00:23:26,654 --> 00:23:29,350
- That's good. Run with it.
- Hmmm.
264
00:23:29,457 --> 00:23:31,857
Uh, some of the words
I didn't understand,
265
00:23:31,959 --> 00:23:35,360
but I found the imagery quite effective.
266
00:23:36,230 --> 00:23:37,595
Continue.
267
00:23:37,665 --> 00:23:41,362
Well, uh, yes,
interesting rhythmic devices,
268
00:23:41,435 --> 00:23:43,903
which seemed to counterpoint
269
00:23:43,971 --> 00:23:46,667
the underlying metaphor
of the humanity of...
270
00:23:46,741 --> 00:23:49,972
- Vogonity!
- Vogonity, sorry, vogonity...
271
00:23:50,044 --> 00:23:53,377
of the poet's soul.
272
00:23:56,083 --> 00:24:00,213
So what you're saying is,
273
00:24:00,288 --> 00:24:02,882
I write poetry because
274
00:24:02,990 --> 00:24:07,393
underneath this mean,
callous, heartless exterior,
275
00:24:07,461 --> 00:24:11,420
I just want to be loved?
276
00:24:12,733 --> 00:24:14,758
Yes, yes, yes.
277
00:24:14,836 --> 00:24:17,270
Yes, yes, yeah, please.
278
00:24:17,338 --> 00:24:22,799
Ahh, ooh, ooh, mmm.
279
00:24:22,944 --> 00:24:24,502
Throw them off the ship!
280
00:24:24,612 --> 00:24:27,979
- No! No!
- Ford. Ford!
281
00:24:28,049 --> 00:24:29,539
Ahh!
282
00:24:29,650 --> 00:24:31,914
All right! All right!
283
00:24:31,986 --> 00:24:35,547
Resistance is useless!
284
00:24:38,226 --> 00:24:42,754
Shut up! Get a job!
Wash your filthy hands!
285
00:24:42,864 --> 00:24:45,560
Don't panic. Don't panic.
286
00:24:45,633 --> 00:24:51,663
So this is it?
We're going to die?
287
00:24:51,772 --> 00:24:55,367
Yeah, we're gonna die.
288
00:24:55,476 --> 00:24:58,411
No, no, what's this?
289
00:24:58,479 --> 00:25:00,106
What is this?
290
00:25:00,214 --> 00:25:04,548
What's this? This is... nothing.
Yeah, we're gonna die.
291
00:25:15,196 --> 00:25:17,289
You're sweating.
292
00:25:25,573 --> 00:25:27,837
- Would you like a hug?
- No.
293
00:25:41,355 --> 00:25:44,950
"Space," says the introduction
to The Hitchhiker's Guide,
294
00:25:45,026 --> 00:25:47,517
"is big. Really big. "
295
00:25:47,595 --> 00:25:52,999
"You just won't believe how vastly,
hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. "
296
00:25:53,067 --> 00:25:54,932
A... a... and so on.
297
00:25:55,036 --> 00:25:58,096
It also says that
if you hold a lungful of air,
298
00:25:58,205 --> 00:26:03,575
you can survive in the total vacuum
of space for about 30 seconds.
299
00:26:03,678 --> 00:26:05,873
But with space being really big and all,
300
00:26:05,980 --> 00:26:08,505
the chances of being picked up
within that time
301
00:26:08,582 --> 00:26:10,812
are two to the power of two billion,
302
00:26:10,885 --> 00:26:13,911
79 million, 460 thousand,
303
00:26:14,021 --> 00:26:16,990
347 to one against.
304
00:26:17,091 --> 00:26:18,854
By a staggering coincidence,
305
00:26:18,993 --> 00:26:21,587
it's also the phone number
of the Islington flat,
306
00:26:21,696 --> 00:26:23,891
where Arthur went to a fancy dress party
307
00:26:23,998 --> 00:26:27,331
and met a very nice young woman
whom he totally blew it with.
308
00:26:30,838 --> 00:26:34,865
Though the planet Earth,
the Islington flat and telephone
309
00:26:34,942 --> 00:26:40,608
have all now been demolished, Ford
and Arthur were, in fact, rescued.
310
00:26:40,681 --> 00:26:43,514
- Ford?
- Yes.
311
00:26:43,584 --> 00:26:47,680
- I think I'm a sofa.
- I know how you feel.
312
00:26:55,129 --> 00:26:57,825
So much for the laws of physics.
313
00:26:57,932 --> 00:26:59,763
And our top story.
314
00:26:59,867 --> 00:27:04,133
The sensational theft of the most
coveted ship in the universe,
315
00:27:04,238 --> 00:27:06,172
the starship Heart of Gold.
316
00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:08,765
Stolen at the launch ceremony
by none other
317
00:27:08,876 --> 00:27:11,709
than Galactic President
Zaphod Beeblebrox.
318
00:27:11,812 --> 00:27:17,079
In the name of people, freedom,
and, uh... democracy, stuff like that,
319
00:27:17,151 --> 00:27:21,247
I hereby kidnap myself
and I'm taking the ship with me. Whoo!
320
00:27:21,322 --> 00:27:23,347
Come on!
321
00:27:23,424 --> 00:27:25,892
Beeblebrox,
universally considered
322
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:28,929
to be the dimmest star
in several solar systems,
323
00:27:29,063 --> 00:27:32,692
is most famous for his controversial
defeat of Humma Kavula
324
00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:36,759
who claimed many thought they were
voting for the worst-dressed being
325
00:27:36,837 --> 00:27:39,829
in the universe contest.
326
00:27:39,940 --> 00:27:41,032
Great.
327
00:27:41,108 --> 00:27:44,009
Kavula is best remembered
for his slanderous
328
00:27:44,111 --> 00:27:46,705
"Don't Vote for Stupid!" campaign.
329
00:27:46,781 --> 00:27:50,273
Put your ego aside.
Something important has happened.
330
00:27:50,351 --> 00:27:54,754
If there's anything more important than
my ego, I want it caught and shot now.
331
00:27:54,855 --> 00:27:56,550
Come on, I love it.
332
00:27:56,624 --> 00:27:59,650
Zaphod's just this guy, you know.
333
00:28:01,095 --> 00:28:03,586
Hey, hey, hey, hey. What d'you...?
334
00:28:03,697 --> 00:28:07,963
- I was just watching myself.
- We have a couple of hitchhikers.
335
00:28:08,069 --> 00:28:10,629
Hitchhikers?
Why'd you pick up hitchhikers?
336
00:28:10,704 --> 00:28:12,604
I didn't. The ship did.
337
00:28:12,706 --> 00:28:14,970
What? Wh... wh... Say what?
338
00:28:15,042 --> 00:28:19,672
When we engaged the
Improbability Drive... The big button.
339
00:28:19,747 --> 00:28:22,580
- I know.
- They were picked up here.
340
00:28:22,650 --> 00:28:26,211
In sector ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha. Wait.
That's where you picked me up.
341
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:28,254
- On Earth.
- That's impossible.
342
00:28:28,322 --> 00:28:31,655
- No, just very improbable.
- Listen. I don't have time for this.
343
00:28:31,792 --> 00:28:36,024
We've got the police of half the galaxy
after us. We've stopped for hitchhikers.
344
00:28:36,097 --> 00:28:38,497
So ten out of ten for style, but...
345
00:28:38,566 --> 00:28:41,000
...minus several million
for good thinking.
346
00:28:41,068 --> 00:28:44,367
You're too gorgeous, baby, stop it.
You drive me crazy.
347
00:28:45,439 --> 00:28:47,805
Don't. I'll send Marvin.
348
00:28:49,076 --> 00:28:50,805
Marvin.
349
00:28:53,948 --> 00:28:56,883
You ought to know,
I'm feeling very depressed.
350
00:28:58,018 --> 00:29:01,351
Well, we have something
that should take your mind off things.
351
00:29:01,455 --> 00:29:06,154
It won't work.
I have an exceptionally large mind.
352
00:29:06,227 --> 00:29:12,166
Yeah, we know. But we need you to go
down to the number two entry bay
353
00:29:12,266 --> 00:29:15,099
and pick up our stowaways
and bring them up here.
354
00:29:15,202 --> 00:29:18,501
Just that? I won't enjoy it.
355
00:29:18,606 --> 00:29:21,200
Yeah, well, that's life.
356
00:29:21,308 --> 00:29:25,574
Life?
Don't talk to me about life.
357
00:29:34,755 --> 00:29:37,223
- Commander Kwaltz.
- Yes.
358
00:29:37,291 --> 00:29:41,625
We have located the spaceship
Heart of Gold and President Beeblebrox.
359
00:29:41,695 --> 00:29:45,893
- Where?
- Sector ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha.
360
00:29:45,966 --> 00:29:48,457
Requesting hyperspace clearance.
361
00:29:48,569 --> 00:29:54,508
Hold your position, captain,
until clearance is granted.
362
00:29:54,575 --> 00:30:00,309
- Yes, sir.
- Get me Vice-President Questular.
363
00:30:02,249 --> 00:30:06,515
Hyperspace permission granted, captain.
364
00:30:06,620 --> 00:30:08,952
Here we go.
365
00:30:30,544 --> 00:30:33,274
I think that door just sighed.
366
00:30:33,347 --> 00:30:35,815
Ghastly, isn't it?
367
00:30:35,883 --> 00:30:38,283
All the doors have been programmed
368
00:30:38,352 --> 00:30:41,583
to have a cheerful
and sunny disposition.
369
00:30:43,757 --> 00:30:48,558
Anyway, come on. I've been ordered
to take you up to the bridge.
370
00:30:50,397 --> 00:30:52,388
Please yourselves.
371
00:30:52,466 --> 00:30:55,697
Here I am,
brain the size of a planet,
372
00:30:55,769 --> 00:30:58,329
and they ask me to take you
up to the bridge.
373
00:30:58,472 --> 00:31:01,930
Call that job satisfaction?
'Cause I don't.
374
00:31:02,042 --> 00:31:07,036
You can thank the Sirius Cybernetics
Corp. For building robots with G.P.P.
375
00:31:07,114 --> 00:31:11,312
- What's G.P.P.?
- Genuine People Personalities.
376
00:31:11,452 --> 00:31:15,855
I'm a personality prototype.
You can tell, can't you?
377
00:31:20,728 --> 00:31:23,526
Arthur?
378
00:31:24,465 --> 00:31:29,027
Hey, Slim, are you wearing
my underwear? 'Cause I'm wearing yours.
379
00:31:29,103 --> 00:31:31,901
And they ain't doing the trick.
Come on. All right.
380
00:31:33,974 --> 00:31:38,070
Oh, for heaven's sake.
381
00:31:38,145 --> 00:31:41,012
I've brought the aliens.
Don't thank me or anything.
382
00:31:41,081 --> 00:31:43,208
Ah-ha! Ow!
383
00:31:43,317 --> 00:31:45,342
Freeze!
384
00:31:45,452 --> 00:31:48,979
Freeze?
I'm a robot. Not a refrigerator.
385
00:31:49,056 --> 00:31:52,651
- I wasn't talking to you, Giggles.
- Oh, why do I bother?
386
00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:54,523
- Zaphod?
- Ford!
387
00:31:54,662 --> 00:31:59,065
Is that you?
Ford! Praxibetel Ix!
388
00:31:59,133 --> 00:32:01,158
What the hell are you doing here?
389
00:32:01,235 --> 00:32:04,671
I just stuck out my thumb and here I am.
390
00:32:04,772 --> 00:32:07,570
- That is so you.
- Look at you!
391
00:32:07,708 --> 00:32:12,077
President of the Galaxy.
I can't believe you beat Humma Kavula.
392
00:32:12,146 --> 00:32:13,807
You zarkin' frood.
393
00:32:13,881 --> 00:32:18,284
I want you to meet a friend.
Arthur, this is Zaphod Beeblebrox.
394
00:32:18,385 --> 00:32:19,409
Oh.
395
00:32:19,486 --> 00:32:24,480
President of the Galaxy. This is my
cousin. He's a semi-half brother...
396
00:32:24,558 --> 00:32:28,153
- We share three of the same mothers.
- We've met.
397
00:32:28,262 --> 00:32:33,723
Have we? I'm sorry.
I've got a terrible memory for species.
398
00:32:33,801 --> 00:32:38,135
This is him, Ford. The would-you-like-
to-see-my-spaceship bloke.
399
00:32:38,205 --> 00:32:39,638
- Hmm.
- Yeah.
400
00:32:39,707 --> 00:32:44,974
- Hello, Arthur.
- Tricia!
401
00:32:45,045 --> 00:32:47,411
- How you doin'?
- Hey, Trillian.
402
00:32:47,514 --> 00:32:51,314
This is my semi-half-brother Ix,
I'm sorry, Ford.
403
00:32:51,385 --> 00:32:54,183
- Hi.
- Hi.
404
00:32:54,288 --> 00:32:58,281
Um, would you excuse us
for a second, please?
405
00:32:58,359 --> 00:33:01,590
You went down on that little planet
and didn't call me?
406
00:33:01,695 --> 00:33:04,562
Sorry, I didn't know.
I had a galaxy to run.
407
00:33:04,598 --> 00:33:06,896
Hi, Tricia McMillan, right?
408
00:33:06,967 --> 00:33:10,164
I think he called you Trillian.
Which of us got the right one?
409
00:33:10,237 --> 00:33:12,762
I shortened it.
Something a little more spacey.
410
00:33:12,906 --> 00:33:15,466
Right. I was thinking
of changing mine to,
411
00:33:15,542 --> 00:33:17,533
I don't know, Arthoolia.
412
00:33:17,611 --> 00:33:21,638
That's a good one.
Well, this is weird.
413
00:33:21,749 --> 00:33:25,276
- How'd you get here?
- I just stuck out my thumb.
414
00:33:25,352 --> 00:33:28,981
- Right. In your pajamas?
- I was in a hurry.
415
00:33:29,123 --> 00:33:31,182
Okay. Did you know I was here?
416
00:33:31,258 --> 00:33:33,954
Don't flatter yourself.
I've got a spaceman too.
417
00:33:34,094 --> 00:33:36,756
Yeah, that's kinda like
the Dingo Shuffle, yeah.
418
00:33:36,864 --> 00:33:38,923
Okay, um, look.
419
00:33:38,999 --> 00:33:42,833
I left you at the party. I feel bad, but
I was gonna call you when I got back.
420
00:33:42,970 --> 00:33:45,905
Well, there is no
going back now, is there?
421
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:48,598
You do know what happened?
422
00:33:48,709 --> 00:33:51,507
Enough small talk.
We're on the run, remember?
423
00:33:51,578 --> 00:33:53,512
Excuse me, we're having a chat.
424
00:33:53,647 --> 00:33:56,081
Well, I think the girl's getting...
Boo!
425
00:33:56,183 --> 00:34:01,450
You blew it with her, Earthman, so shut
your face or I'll kick you in the zatch.
426
00:34:01,555 --> 00:34:03,147
- You wanna fight?
- Okay.
427
00:34:03,257 --> 00:34:06,021
- No. No.
- I'm just kidding.
428
00:34:06,093 --> 00:34:09,529
I'm a kidder. Let's be friends.
Let's connect. You and I.
429
00:34:10,431 --> 00:34:12,365
Didn't see that one coming, did you?
430
00:34:12,433 --> 00:34:15,925
Popped right out of the box.
You foxy, yeah!
431
00:34:16,303 --> 00:34:19,500
Teach your pal a lesson, Ford.
He's a guest on my ship.
432
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:21,972
He's a guest on my ship!
433
00:34:22,976 --> 00:34:25,001
I thought you said you stole it.
434
00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:29,547
Stole what?
What are we talking about?
435
00:34:29,616 --> 00:34:33,177
Whoa! That doesn't sound good.
436
00:34:37,758 --> 00:34:41,125
- Are you okay?
- Just fabulous, thanks, "Trill".
437
00:34:41,228 --> 00:34:43,992
A little help over here.
I'm in over my head.
438
00:34:44,097 --> 00:34:47,464
I'll take care of this. Good Zarquon,
do I have to do everything?
439
00:34:47,568 --> 00:34:48,830
Yes, I do!
440
00:34:48,902 --> 00:34:51,097
Hey, this is really pretty.
441
00:34:51,171 --> 00:34:53,731
- Don't!
- Whoo! They're on our tail.
442
00:34:53,874 --> 00:34:56,206
Fire a gun. Launch a missile.
Do some damage!
443
00:35:05,185 --> 00:35:06,743
Ow! Stop that! Ow!
444
00:35:06,887 --> 00:35:08,912
Just kiddin'. I love it rough. Hit me.
445
00:35:08,989 --> 00:35:11,924
- Uh, computer?
- Hi, there.
446
00:35:11,992 --> 00:35:14,085
I'm Eddie, your computer.
447
00:35:14,228 --> 00:35:17,959
I'm pleased to report that it's
a fleet of 100 Vogon battle destroyers.
448
00:35:18,031 --> 00:35:20,329
They're sending you a message.
449
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:22,766
This is Vice-President Questular Rontok.
450
00:35:22,836 --> 00:35:26,272
I am speaking to the kidnapper
of the President?
451
00:35:26,373 --> 00:35:27,533
She digs me.
452
00:35:27,641 --> 00:35:29,836
Surrender the stolen vessel at once
453
00:35:29,943 --> 00:35:35,404
or we will take action
as defined and permitted by...
454
00:35:35,482 --> 00:35:39,418
section 1-8 of the Galactic Interstellar
Space Bylaws...
455
00:35:39,553 --> 00:35:42,920
Zaphod, please come back now.
This is ridiculous.
456
00:35:42,990 --> 00:35:45,754
Leap to hyperspace! Come on!
457
00:35:45,859 --> 00:35:48,453
Sure thing, fella!
458
00:35:55,035 --> 00:35:56,468
No.
459
00:35:56,603 --> 00:36:02,007
Did they have proper
hyperspace authorization?
460
00:36:02,109 --> 00:36:05,943
- No, commander.
- Oh.
461
00:36:06,013 --> 00:36:11,451
Bring me the request
to pursue fugitive forms.
462
00:36:11,518 --> 00:36:14,385
I'm coming, sir.
463
00:36:16,056 --> 00:36:21,187
I'm boiling!
Oh, oh. Here's the form, sir.
464
00:36:21,862 --> 00:36:26,128
So are you along for the ride
or am I just dropping you somewhere?
465
00:36:26,199 --> 00:36:29,566
That depends. Where are you going?
466
00:36:29,636 --> 00:36:31,627
Where am I going?
467
00:36:32,706 --> 00:36:37,166
- You okay?
- Yeah. Don't suppose there's any tea.
468
00:36:37,277 --> 00:36:40,371
Yes, there is. Come on.
I'll show you the kitchen.
469
00:36:40,447 --> 00:36:44,907
When you see what I'm about to show you,
you'll beg me to take you with us.
470
00:36:45,018 --> 00:36:49,421
The best drink in existence
is the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster,
471
00:36:49,489 --> 00:36:54,222
the effect of which is like having your
brains smashed out by a slice of lemon
472
00:36:54,294 --> 00:36:56,888
wrapped round a large gold brick.
473
00:37:01,635 --> 00:37:04,536
- Belgium. Hold it one second.
- Belgium.
474
00:37:05,505 --> 00:37:08,406
Ape-man, Earth dude, sorry,
what's your name again?
475
00:37:08,508 --> 00:37:10,942
- Arthur.
- Right. Gorgeous.
476
00:37:11,044 --> 00:37:14,445
No hard feelings, okay?
Sorry to hear about your planet...
477
00:37:14,514 --> 00:37:16,311
- Earth.
- Yeah. I liked Earth.
478
00:37:16,383 --> 00:37:19,352
Got these boots there.
But don't mention it to the girl.
479
00:37:19,453 --> 00:37:23,219
Because if you do... I'll pull your
spleen out through your throat.
480
00:37:23,290 --> 00:37:26,225
- All right. Thanks, buddy.
- Okay.
481
00:37:26,293 --> 00:37:29,319
Good stuff. Like those jammies.
482
00:37:30,664 --> 00:37:35,158
Hey, hey, Zaphod,
what's with the two-head thing?
483
00:37:35,902 --> 00:37:39,895
Oh, yeah. Apparently, you can't be
president with a whole brain.
484
00:37:40,007 --> 00:37:41,998
It's crazy.
485
00:37:42,109 --> 00:37:44,236
- Oh, so you carved it up?
- Yes.
486
00:37:44,311 --> 00:37:48,441
Parts of my personality weren't exactly
what you'd call presidential.
487
00:37:48,515 --> 00:37:50,483
You know what I'm talkin' about.
488
00:37:54,154 --> 00:37:56,748
Your tea is ready.
489
00:38:08,869 --> 00:38:13,465
I suppose I should've said
it resembles tea.
490
00:38:13,573 --> 00:38:16,303
So, two heads
is what does it for a girl?
491
00:38:16,376 --> 00:38:18,776
I mean, if I'd had two heads,
or three...
492
00:38:18,845 --> 00:38:20,972
Or your own spaceship.
493
00:38:22,082 --> 00:38:23,845
Anything else he's got two of?
494
00:38:23,917 --> 00:38:26,408
Come on, Arthur, don't be like that.
495
00:38:26,553 --> 00:38:30,751
What am I supposed to be like?
Green? Bleeping?
496
00:38:30,824 --> 00:38:33,622
I can fold my eyelids
inside out if you like.
497
00:38:33,727 --> 00:38:37,561
Okay, look. Do you see this?
498
00:38:37,664 --> 00:38:41,691
This detects what you're craving
and makes it for you.
499
00:38:41,768 --> 00:38:44,032
Enjoy your doughnut.
500
00:38:47,774 --> 00:38:50,504
Do you see this?
501
00:38:52,913 --> 00:38:59,375
This toasts bread
while you're slicing it.
502
00:39:00,353 --> 00:39:05,256
We're on a spaceship, Arthur. In space.
503
00:39:05,358 --> 00:39:08,293
- I told you I wanted to get away.
- To Madagascar.
504
00:39:08,361 --> 00:39:14,596
That was... some sort of test.
And I failed.
505
00:39:14,668 --> 00:39:18,160
- How badly does it hurt?
- It doesn't feel great.
506
00:39:18,238 --> 00:39:20,297
No, I mean your chin.
507
00:39:20,373 --> 00:39:22,568
- Ah...
- I might have an aspirin.
508
00:39:22,642 --> 00:39:24,041
Right.
509
00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:28,905
Hey!
510
00:39:30,684 --> 00:39:35,849
Tricia... Trillian, sorry.
There's something I have to tell you.
511
00:39:35,922 --> 00:39:39,221
- Please, don't.
- Showtime, Trill.
512
00:39:45,966 --> 00:39:48,491
I'm going to set up.
Buttons aren't toys.
513
00:39:48,602 --> 00:39:50,263
Buttons aren't toys.
514
00:39:50,337 --> 00:39:53,431
Anyway... When I saw
what I'm about to show you,
515
00:39:53,507 --> 00:39:58,171
that's when I realized
why I had to do what I did to my brain.
516
00:39:58,278 --> 00:40:01,406
I think. It's all a little...
517
00:40:02,215 --> 00:40:03,239
...shaky.
518
00:40:06,319 --> 00:40:07,882
I've seen it. It's rubbish.
519
00:40:07,917 --> 00:40:09,446
I've seen it. It's rubbish.
520
00:40:13,026 --> 00:40:15,290
Many millions of years ago,
521
00:40:15,362 --> 00:40:18,798
a race of hyper intelligent,
pan-dimensional beings
522
00:40:18,865 --> 00:40:22,801
got so fed up with the constant
bickering about the meaning of life,
523
00:40:22,869 --> 00:40:25,861
that they commissioned
two of their brightest and best
524
00:40:25,972 --> 00:40:29,271
to design and build
a stupendous super-computer
525
00:40:29,342 --> 00:40:33,745
to calculate the answer to life,
the universe and everything.
526
00:40:33,814 --> 00:40:36,806
O Deep Thought,
527
00:40:36,917 --> 00:40:41,149
we want you to tell us the answer.
528
00:40:41,254 --> 00:40:43,484
The answer to what?
529
00:40:43,590 --> 00:40:48,186
The answer to life,
the universe, everything.
530
00:40:48,295 --> 00:40:52,356
We'd really like an answer.
Something simple.
531
00:40:52,432 --> 00:40:55,128
Hmm, I'd have to think about that.
532
00:40:55,202 --> 00:41:02,040
Return to this place in exactly
seven-and-a-half million years.
533
00:41:02,142 --> 00:41:05,839
- Is it finished?
- No, there's more. They go back.
534
00:41:05,912 --> 00:41:11,009
- Seven-and-a-half million years later?
- That's right, they do.
535
00:41:27,701 --> 00:41:30,192
Deep Thought, do you have...
536
00:41:30,270 --> 00:41:34,707
An answer for you?
Yes, but you're not going to like it.
537
00:41:35,876 --> 00:41:38,936
- It doesn't matter. We must know it.
- All right.
538
00:41:39,012 --> 00:41:41,947
The answer to the ultimate question...
539
00:41:43,917 --> 00:41:47,546
... of life, the universe
and everything...
540
00:41:49,222 --> 00:41:50,314
... is...
541
00:41:57,130 --> 00:41:58,722
... 42.
542
00:41:58,832 --> 00:42:01,528
Yeah? What?
543
00:42:01,635 --> 00:42:04,195
42?
544
00:42:04,271 --> 00:42:08,435
Yes, I thought it over
quite thoroughly. It's 42.
545
00:42:08,541 --> 00:42:11,806
It would've been simpler
to have known what the question was.
546
00:42:11,912 --> 00:42:16,781
But it was the question.
The ultimate question. Of everything!
547
00:42:16,850 --> 00:42:18,750
That's not a question.
548
00:42:18,852 --> 00:42:22,583
Only when you know the question
will you know what the answer means.
549
00:42:22,656 --> 00:42:27,286
- Give us the ultimate question then.
- I can't. But there is one who can.
550
00:42:27,394 --> 00:42:31,330
A computer that will calculate
the ultimate question.
551
00:42:31,431 --> 00:42:34,025
A computer of such infinite complexity,
552
00:42:34,134 --> 00:42:38,195
that life itself will form part
of its operational matrix.
553
00:42:38,338 --> 00:42:42,434
And you yourselves shall take on new,
more primitive forms,
554
00:42:42,542 --> 00:42:48,276
and go down into the computer to
navigate its 10-million-year program.
555
00:42:48,381 --> 00:42:52,112
I shall design this computer for you,
and it shall be called...
556
00:42:57,624 --> 00:43:01,185
- That's it?
- That's it.
557
00:43:01,294 --> 00:43:05,128
You're looking for
the ultimate question? You? Why?
558
00:43:05,231 --> 00:43:07,995
I tried that.
Why? 42. Doesn't work.
559
00:43:08,101 --> 00:43:10,968
- Let's get it ready, baby.
- Why...
560
00:43:11,071 --> 00:43:14,598
...do you want to know
the ultimate question?
561
00:43:14,674 --> 00:43:17,234
Partly curiosity,
partly a sense of adventure,
562
00:43:17,377 --> 00:43:20,778
but, uh, mostly I think
it's for the fame and the money.
563
00:43:20,847 --> 00:43:23,008
You're President of the Galaxy.
564
00:43:23,116 --> 00:43:24,981
- Yes, Arman.
- Arthur.
565
00:43:25,085 --> 00:43:27,451
Whatever.
Presidential fame is temporary.
566
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:31,320
I find the question, that's permanent.
It sticks.
567
00:43:31,424 --> 00:43:33,915
Plus, everyone thinks you're deep.
Win-win.
568
00:43:34,661 --> 00:43:39,360
We just hit that button and bam,
we're at Magrathea, I think.
569
00:43:39,432 --> 00:43:42,629
We've hit it twice and
we're still not there, but anyway...
570
00:43:42,736 --> 00:43:45,136
- You in?
- Always.
571
00:43:45,238 --> 00:43:48,036
- All right!
- Uh, I want to get off.
572
00:43:48,108 --> 00:43:51,566
- Uh, sorry, what exactly are we doing?
- This!
573
00:43:55,782 --> 00:43:59,513
The Infinite Improbability Drive
is a wonderful new method
574
00:43:59,586 --> 00:44:02,453
of crossing interstellar distances
in a few seconds,
575
00:44:02,522 --> 00:44:05,685
without all that tedious
mucking about in hyperspace.
576
00:44:05,792 --> 00:44:09,023
As the Improbability Drive
reaches infinite improbability,
577
00:44:09,095 --> 00:44:13,122
it passes through every conceivable
point in every conceivable universe
578
00:44:13,199 --> 00:44:14,928
almost simultaneously.
579
00:44:15,035 --> 00:44:17,128
So you're never sure
where you'll end up
580
00:44:17,203 --> 00:44:19,831
or even what species you'll be
when you get there.
581
00:44:19,906 --> 00:44:22,875
It's therefore important
to dress accordingly.
582
00:44:22,942 --> 00:44:27,311
The Drive was invented following
research into finite improbability
583
00:44:27,447 --> 00:44:29,506
often used to break the ice at parties
584
00:44:29,582 --> 00:44:32,847
by making all the molecules
in the hostess's undergarments
585
00:44:32,919 --> 00:44:34,944
leap one foot to the left
586
00:44:35,021 --> 00:44:37,581
in accordance with
the theory of indeterminacy.
587
00:44:37,690 --> 00:44:41,285
Many physicists said they
wouldn't stand for that sort of thing,
588
00:44:41,361 --> 00:44:43,454
partly because it debased science,
589
00:44:43,563 --> 00:44:47,522
but mostly because they didn't get
invited to those sort of parties.
590
00:44:57,777 --> 00:45:01,235
Wow, is this gonna happen
every time we hit that button?
591
00:45:01,347 --> 00:45:03,247
Very probably, yes.
592
00:45:03,349 --> 00:45:06,318
Ah, I think
the Earthman's about to be sick.
593
00:45:06,419 --> 00:45:09,252
In the trashcan, ape-man.
This ship's new.
594
00:45:09,355 --> 00:45:11,983
Aw, come on!
595
00:45:12,092 --> 00:45:14,617
We have normality.
596
00:45:14,727 --> 00:45:16,388
Did it work? Are we there?
597
00:45:18,231 --> 00:45:22,395
Yeah. We're here. Magrathea!
598
00:45:22,469 --> 00:45:24,198
I don't think so. Eddie...
599
00:45:24,304 --> 00:45:26,272
- Ow!
- What planet is this?
600
00:45:26,372 --> 00:45:28,169
I'm checking for you.
601
00:45:28,274 --> 00:45:33,268
Did you just pluck
one of my hairs? Off my head?
602
00:45:34,047 --> 00:45:36,914
Thank you for waiting.
Sorry to disappoint,
603
00:45:36,983 --> 00:45:39,042
but this is not Magrathea.
604
00:45:39,185 --> 00:45:42,951
We are currently in orbit around
the planet Viltvodle Six.
605
00:45:43,022 --> 00:45:46,788
Humma Kavula!
606
00:45:46,860 --> 00:45:51,797
Magrathea's gonna have to wait.
I got a score to settle on this planet.
607
00:45:52,632 --> 00:45:56,864
Humma Kavula!
608
00:45:59,806 --> 00:46:04,038
In the beginning,
the universe was created.
609
00:46:04,144 --> 00:46:08,945
This made a lot of people very angry,
and is widely regarded as a bad move.
610
00:46:11,084 --> 00:46:14,349
Many races believed it was created
by some sort of god,
611
00:46:14,454 --> 00:46:17,014
though the Jatravartid people
of Viltvodle Six
612
00:46:17,123 --> 00:46:22,060
firmly believe that the entire universe
was sneezed out of the nose of a being
613
00:46:22,162 --> 00:46:24,960
called the Great Green Arkleseizure.
614
00:46:25,031 --> 00:46:26,692
Humma Kavula!
615
00:46:26,799 --> 00:46:29,131
The Jatravartids,
who lived in fear
616
00:46:29,202 --> 00:46:32,694
of the time they called the
Coming of the Great White Handkerchief,
617
00:46:32,772 --> 00:46:36,538
were small blue creatures
with more than 50 arms each.
618
00:46:36,643 --> 00:46:39,203
They were unique in being
the only race in history
619
00:46:39,279 --> 00:46:42,976
to have invented
the aerosol deodorant before the wheel.
620
00:46:44,918 --> 00:46:46,909
Mr. President!
621
00:46:46,986 --> 00:46:48,715
Hey, all right. How you doin'?
622
00:46:48,821 --> 00:46:51,449
Hey, what have we here? I love it!
623
00:46:56,362 --> 00:46:58,455
Hey, I love you. Fantastic!
624
00:46:58,531 --> 00:47:01,193
You guys related? Don't go changing.
625
00:47:01,267 --> 00:47:03,360
Arthur, I want a drink.
626
00:47:03,436 --> 00:47:07,600
I think I've been here before.
Have I been here before?
627
00:47:11,211 --> 00:47:13,270
Ixxie!
628
00:47:13,379 --> 00:47:16,371
- I've been here before.
- Humma Kavula!
629
00:47:16,449 --> 00:47:18,246
Come on.
630
00:47:18,318 --> 00:47:21,116
Tricia! Tricia, I...
631
00:47:49,716 --> 00:47:51,547
Hello, Humma.
632
00:47:53,019 --> 00:47:57,422
- Join us. Sit down.
- Good to see you. Thanks. All right.
633
00:47:57,490 --> 00:47:59,617
The handkerchief is coming.
634
00:47:59,726 --> 00:48:05,596
Let us pray the Almighty will exhale
a breath of compassion on us all.
635
00:48:07,267 --> 00:48:11,203
So that's Humma Kavula.
I thought he was just swearing.
636
00:48:11,904 --> 00:48:16,204
We lift our noses, clogged and unblown,
637
00:48:16,309 --> 00:48:18,402
in reverence to you.
638
00:48:20,179 --> 00:48:25,116
Send the handkerchief, O Blessed One,
so that it may wipe us clean.
639
00:48:25,184 --> 00:48:30,884
We ask this and all things
in Thy precious and alliterative name.
640
00:48:39,832 --> 00:48:41,697
Bless you.
641
00:48:42,135 --> 00:48:44,501
We goin' in here?
642
00:48:44,604 --> 00:48:48,438
All right, I like it. It's big,
it's gold, it's fancy. Fancy pants.
643
00:48:48,508 --> 00:48:52,035
Zaphod Beeblebrox,
our infamous President.
644
00:48:52,145 --> 00:48:54,841
What brings you to our humble planet?
645
00:48:54,947 --> 00:48:57,472
Oh, I think you know
why I'm here.
646
00:48:57,550 --> 00:48:59,108
No, I don't think I do.
647
00:48:59,218 --> 00:49:05,680
I think you think you don't.
But we both know... you do.
648
00:49:05,725 --> 00:49:07,522
Eloquent as always.
649
00:49:07,593 --> 00:49:11,461
Your ability to articulate
never ceases to amaze.
650
00:49:11,531 --> 00:49:14,625
That's funny.
During the campaign, Humma,
651
00:49:14,701 --> 00:49:17,135
when you were my opponent
running against me,
652
00:49:17,203 --> 00:49:20,138
you said I was stupid.
653
00:49:38,825 --> 00:49:44,263
The election is ancient history,
Zaphod, but...
654
00:49:45,698 --> 00:49:47,563
...if memory serves, you won,
655
00:49:47,667 --> 00:49:50,966
proving that good looks
and charm win
656
00:49:51,037 --> 00:49:55,974
over brilliance
and the ability to govern.
657
00:50:00,246 --> 00:50:03,511
And, incidentally, you are stupid.
658
00:50:03,583 --> 00:50:06,143
Excuse me, Mr. Humma, sir.
659
00:50:06,252 --> 00:50:10,450
Uh, I just want to say, there's been
some sort of terrible mix up
660
00:50:10,523 --> 00:50:12,889
'cause, actually, he's not with us.
661
00:50:12,992 --> 00:50:15,927
We came to worship you.
He followed us and...
662
00:50:15,995 --> 00:50:18,759
He grew, didn't he. He's not that tall.
663
00:50:18,865 --> 00:50:23,859
You didn't come half-way across the
galaxy to settle a campaign grudge.
664
00:50:25,371 --> 00:50:27,396
Why are you here?
665
00:50:29,008 --> 00:50:31,670
Of course not,
that's, that's ridiculous.
666
00:50:31,744 --> 00:50:37,376
I've been stranded on a strange planet
for years, I haven't been avoiding you.
667
00:50:37,450 --> 00:50:40,476
You look great. You're doing well.
668
00:50:40,586 --> 00:50:42,247
You've grown, obviously.
669
00:50:42,355 --> 00:50:46,416
- Aggh! Oomph!
- Wait! We don't know why we're here.
670
00:50:46,526 --> 00:50:50,087
We were trying to get to Magrathea
and our ship brought us here.
671
00:50:51,697 --> 00:50:55,155
How very, very improbable.
672
00:51:02,608 --> 00:51:05,441
I kept a few souvenirs
from my former life.
673
00:51:05,511 --> 00:51:08,412
Ah, the heady days of space piracy.
674
00:51:09,415 --> 00:51:16,184
But... even an Infinite Improbability
Drive requires coordinates.
675
00:51:16,289 --> 00:51:18,723
Which I happen to have.
676
00:51:18,825 --> 00:51:20,417
No, no, no.
677
00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:22,960
You don't get something
for nothing, Zaphod.
678
00:51:23,062 --> 00:51:25,690
You must bring me something in return.
679
00:51:25,798 --> 00:51:28,699
- Wh... What?
- A gun.
680
00:51:28,768 --> 00:51:30,759
- A gun?
- A very special gun.
681
00:51:30,837 --> 00:51:34,136
Designed by the greatest computer
ever invented.
682
00:51:34,207 --> 00:51:37,176
But the only way to find it
is to go to Magrathea.
683
00:51:37,276 --> 00:51:41,736
Fine. I'll get your gun.
Just give me the coordinates.
684
00:51:41,814 --> 00:51:44,612
And what will you give me
to ensure your return?
685
00:51:45,485 --> 00:51:47,851
My word as President.
686
00:51:49,188 --> 00:51:52,646
No. I need a hostage.
687
00:51:55,194 --> 00:52:02,362
Only... what does
Zaphod Beeblebrox treasure?
688
00:52:05,071 --> 00:52:08,165
Come on.
689
00:52:08,241 --> 00:52:13,042
Oh, no!
690
00:52:13,145 --> 00:52:15,943
Hey, take it easy now.
691
00:52:16,015 --> 00:52:19,178
No, stop it.
Ah! Oh, that kind of tickles.
692
00:52:19,285 --> 00:52:22,846
Two heads are better than one.
Double your pleasure.
693
00:52:22,922 --> 00:52:26,722
You need me!
694
00:52:26,826 --> 00:52:31,024
Come back! Come back!
Don't leave me alone.
695
00:52:33,982 --> 00:52:35,973
Come back!
696
00:52:36,117 --> 00:52:39,917
I thought I alone
considered your boyfriend
697
00:52:39,988 --> 00:52:42,684
a narcissistic moron,
but the whole galaxy does.
698
00:52:42,757 --> 00:52:45,590
What about you?
"Excuse me, Mr. Humma, sir. "
699
00:52:45,660 --> 00:52:50,097
"We're not with him. We just came
to worship you. " Very brave.
700
00:52:50,198 --> 00:52:54,464
Where the hell is Ford?
701
00:52:56,170 --> 00:53:02,700
By the left, march.
Left, right, left, right.
702
00:53:02,810 --> 00:53:07,008
Mr. President,
we're here for your protection.
703
00:53:07,515 --> 00:53:10,780
Fire upon the kidnapper!
704
00:53:10,852 --> 00:53:12,251
Hey, come on!
705
00:53:12,320 --> 00:53:14,914
The President is the kidnapper.
You'll kill him!
706
00:53:15,757 --> 00:53:16,917
Bang! Bang!
707
00:53:16,991 --> 00:53:18,959
It's locked!
708
00:53:21,863 --> 00:53:24,229
Thank you, darling. I'll be in touch.
709
00:53:29,504 --> 00:53:31,995
Come on, Zaphod.
710
00:53:35,510 --> 00:53:38,274
- Hey, what did I miss?
- What have you been doing?
711
00:53:38,346 --> 00:53:41,838
Field research. So they found
where we are? Belgium bummer!
712
00:53:41,916 --> 00:53:44,680
They're shooting at us!
What are we going to do?
713
00:53:44,786 --> 00:53:48,085
- I have an idea.
- Pushing him out and running away?
714
00:53:48,156 --> 00:53:50,624
What? He's the one they want.
715
00:53:50,691 --> 00:53:52,989
You can't go out there.
What are you doing?
716
00:53:54,262 --> 00:53:57,231
- Back off!
- What's going on?
717
00:53:58,900 --> 00:54:02,199
I have the President
and I will kill him, I swear.
718
00:54:02,270 --> 00:54:06,229
- Could that actually kill him?
- I don't think so.
719
00:54:06,340 --> 00:54:08,501
- It's an aerosol can.
- Oh.
720
00:54:08,576 --> 00:54:12,103
Okay, frightened now,
frightened.
721
00:54:12,747 --> 00:54:16,205
- Hi, little guy.
- Get her!
722
00:54:16,284 --> 00:54:19,276
- Zaphod, no, come on!
- Arthur!
723
00:54:20,088 --> 00:54:22,921
- Arthur!
- Tricia!
724
00:54:22,990 --> 00:54:25,982
- Arthur!
- Tricia! Wait!
725
00:54:34,936 --> 00:54:37,461
Arthur!
726
00:54:40,208 --> 00:54:44,110
Resistance is useless!
727
00:54:53,187 --> 00:54:56,953
Bring her to Vogsphere
for processing, captain.
728
00:54:57,024 --> 00:55:00,460
Where's the circus?
729
00:55:00,528 --> 00:55:03,190
They got her and it's my fault.
We have to go!
730
00:55:03,264 --> 00:55:04,731
Let's go!
731
00:55:06,667 --> 00:55:10,364
Whoo! Computer, take us to Magrathea!
732
00:55:10,438 --> 00:55:12,906
What? No, no, no.
We've got to go after Tricia.
733
00:55:12,974 --> 00:55:14,407
- Who?
- Trillian.
734
00:55:14,475 --> 00:55:18,002
They've got Trillian,
you stupid half-brained git!
735
00:55:18,112 --> 00:55:21,206
Right, you're coming out!
736
00:55:21,282 --> 00:55:25,218
Computer, we don't want to go to
Magrathea, we want to follow the ships.
737
00:55:25,286 --> 00:55:28,949
I'd love to, but my
guidance system has been deactivated.
738
00:55:29,056 --> 00:55:30,148
Oh, come on!
739
00:55:30,258 --> 00:55:32,658
I'm sorry.
It wasn't my fault.
740
00:55:32,760 --> 00:55:34,785
What you doing on this ship?
741
00:55:34,896 --> 00:55:36,488
- Ford?
- Marvin.
742
00:55:36,597 --> 00:55:38,997
I've been talking
to the ship's computer.
743
00:55:39,100 --> 00:55:40,795
And?
744
00:55:40,868 --> 00:55:42,392
It hates me.
745
00:55:42,770 --> 00:55:45,705
No, uh-uh. Eddie, computer,
746
00:55:45,806 --> 00:55:49,298
is there another way
to follow the ships?
747
00:55:49,410 --> 00:55:53,870
Activating Emergency Escape
Pod. It's super-neat and fun to fly!
748
00:55:53,981 --> 00:55:56,211
Ow!
749
00:55:56,317 --> 00:55:57,784
Unbelievable!
750
00:55:57,852 --> 00:56:02,221
I'm in. I'm in.
Okay, Ford, do you have any idea?
751
00:56:02,356 --> 00:56:03,914
We'll press this.
752
00:56:03,991 --> 00:56:06,118
Oh, no, no, no, no.
753
00:56:06,194 --> 00:56:09,186
- This button.
- Okay. Nothing's... Okay!
754
00:56:09,297 --> 00:56:12,266
Good man, good man, good man.
755
00:56:12,333 --> 00:56:15,962
- Okay, we're wobbling...
- You forgot your towel.
756
00:56:16,037 --> 00:56:18,528
Get him off me! I'll kill him!
757
00:56:18,639 --> 00:56:21,164
- Okay, Ford, there's a...
- Is that better?
758
00:56:21,275 --> 00:56:23,243
No, that's worse, that's worse.
759
00:56:23,344 --> 00:56:26,677
- Do what... I don't need that.
- Okay.
760
00:56:26,781 --> 00:56:29,477
Stop the rocking.
Marvin, any ideas?
761
00:56:29,550 --> 00:56:33,179
I have a million ideas.
They all point to certain death.
762
00:56:33,287 --> 00:56:34,686
Thanks, Marv.
763
00:56:46,434 --> 00:56:51,667
Ooh, ooh. Eee. Ooh, ooh.
764
00:56:56,210 --> 00:56:59,771
Whoo!
765
00:57:01,349 --> 00:57:04,341
Whee! Whee!
766
00:57:13,294 --> 00:57:15,023
Yeah! Yeah!
767
00:57:19,700 --> 00:57:24,831
- Magrathea!
- No, we're on the Vogon planet.
768
00:57:24,905 --> 00:57:27,533
- Yes, it is. It's Magrathea!
- This is Vogsphere.
769
00:57:27,608 --> 00:57:30,771
- Yeah, Magrathea. I know it.
- No, it's not.
770
00:57:30,878 --> 00:57:34,405
- There is no Magrathea.
- Yes, it is.
771
00:57:35,016 --> 00:57:37,712
- What are you doing?
- They took my head.
772
00:57:37,818 --> 00:57:40,651
They have these
on Arcturan mega freighters.
773
00:57:40,755 --> 00:57:43,246
They use them when
they need to concentrate.
774
00:57:43,357 --> 00:57:45,621
- What is it?
- It's a thinking cap.
775
00:57:50,331 --> 00:57:52,492
There you go.
776
00:57:56,537 --> 00:58:00,303
Should give him some zest
for about ten minutes or so.
777
00:58:00,374 --> 00:58:04,811
Now I'm feeling
much better about our predicament.
778
00:58:25,166 --> 00:58:29,296
I checked the Guide for how
to rescue a prisoner from Vogsphere.
779
00:58:29,370 --> 00:58:32,567
It said don't.
I'm assuming you have a better plan.
780
00:58:32,640 --> 00:58:35,165
Well, I kind of had this idea
that we could... Ow!
781
00:58:37,211 --> 00:58:39,475
- Did anyone see that?
- See what?
782
00:58:39,580 --> 00:58:41,480
- What was it?
- Uh...
783
00:58:41,582 --> 00:58:45,882
Nothing, it's, uh, nothing.
It's just my imagination.
784
00:58:45,986 --> 00:58:50,252
Okay, right. Now, everyone just stop
a minute, please, and look at me.
785
00:58:50,324 --> 00:58:55,227
There's... definitely
something going on here.
786
00:58:55,296 --> 00:58:59,232
Just... just watch.
787
00:58:59,300 --> 00:59:02,758
Just watch.
788
00:59:04,705 --> 00:59:07,173
Okay, I think we...
789
00:59:07,274 --> 00:59:09,333
- Oooh!
- Ah-ha! You too!
790
00:59:11,078 --> 00:59:13,410
Yeah, what was that?
791
00:59:13,514 --> 00:59:15,573
I thi...
792
00:59:16,817 --> 00:59:18,808
Zaphod, what do you think?
793
00:59:22,123 --> 00:59:26,822
I think... Ow! Zarquon!
What was that? Jeez!
794
00:59:26,927 --> 00:59:30,556
I'd make a suggestion,
but you wouldn't listen.
795
00:59:30,664 --> 00:59:33,565
- No one ever does.
- I have an idea.
796
00:59:33,667 --> 00:59:36,795
Ooh, ooh, ooh, Ford!
Kill it! Get rid of it!
797
00:59:45,179 --> 00:59:48,012
Okay, don't think.
798
00:59:48,115 --> 00:59:50,606
Nobody think. No ideas.
799
00:59:50,684 --> 00:59:52,845
No theories. No nothing.
800
00:59:56,390 --> 00:59:58,915
Ow!
801
00:59:59,026 --> 01:00:01,654
This is crazy.
Trillian is in there somewhere.
802
01:00:01,762 --> 01:00:06,597
- We need an idea to save her.
- I have an ide...
803
01:00:06,667 --> 01:00:08,794
- Ah! Run!
- Yeeaaghh!
804
01:00:33,494 --> 01:00:35,860
Ooh! Ah!
805
01:00:38,132 --> 01:00:40,259
You're supposed to stop.
806
01:00:49,510 --> 01:00:53,776
Okay, so I'm not thinking.
Not thinking. No ideas coming.
807
01:00:56,617 --> 01:00:59,745
Okay, this isn't an idea
that has any merit at all,
808
01:00:59,854 --> 01:01:03,756
but, Marvin, can you give me a hand?
809
01:01:06,193 --> 01:01:08,320
Okay, where is she?!
810
01:01:11,298 --> 01:01:14,131
Who, the director of robot arm repair?
811
01:01:15,836 --> 01:01:20,330
Tricia Yggarstuk McMillanus
of... Blaard?
812
01:01:20,441 --> 01:01:23,672
No, Tricia Marie McMillan of Earth.
813
01:01:23,777 --> 01:01:25,335
Oh. Right.
814
01:01:30,484 --> 01:01:35,353
Sorry, no record of Earth.
815
01:01:35,422 --> 01:01:39,222
Galactic sector
ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha?
816
01:01:39,326 --> 01:01:42,762
- Oh, yes.
- She's lying.
817
01:01:44,265 --> 01:01:47,598
She's skinny, and she's pretty,
and she's lying.
818
01:01:47,735 --> 01:01:51,466
- Mmmm.
- Here we are. Earth.
819
01:01:51,539 --> 01:01:54,940
Oh. Um, "destroyed. "
820
01:01:55,075 --> 01:01:58,476
Um, do you have
a second home planet?
821
01:01:58,579 --> 01:02:02,106
- Destroyed? That's impossible.
- That's what it says here.
822
01:02:02,182 --> 01:02:07,347
Says it was destroyed to make way
for a hyperspace expressway.
823
01:02:13,294 --> 01:02:17,993
Who in their right mind
gives an order to destroy a planet?
824
01:02:20,100 --> 01:02:24,093
- He said the gray building, right?
- All the buildings are gray.
825
01:02:24,204 --> 01:02:27,537
"Give me a hand. " Ha-ha, very funny.
826
01:02:27,608 --> 01:02:31,100
How am I supposed to drive this pod
with one arm? Stupid human.
827
01:02:36,717 --> 01:02:38,708
Go and fill that in.
828
01:02:38,786 --> 01:02:42,119
Then, make sure, when you fill in
the facilitating form...
829
01:02:42,222 --> 01:02:47,091
Leave this to me. I'm British.
I know how to queue.
830
01:02:47,161 --> 01:02:51,063
If you'd fill that form in for me,
831
01:02:51,131 --> 01:02:53,861
and return it as soon as possible.
832
01:02:53,934 --> 01:02:58,303
- Writing implements to your left...
- You're President. Can you do anything?
833
01:02:58,405 --> 01:03:03,274
Presidents don't have power. Their job
is to draw attention away from it.
834
01:03:05,346 --> 01:03:07,405
Hey, how you doin'?
835
01:03:07,481 --> 01:03:12,214
Hey, it's me, your President!
What's goin' on? Thanks for coming.
836
01:03:12,286 --> 01:03:15,119
All right. I know that sponge.
All right!
837
01:03:15,222 --> 01:03:17,588
- Next!
- President coming through.
838
01:03:17,691 --> 01:03:20,660
How you doin', Pinhead?
No, really, it's me.
839
01:03:21,528 --> 01:03:23,359
I love kabuki. Look at that.
840
01:03:23,430 --> 01:03:26,331
Out the way.
841
01:03:27,167 --> 01:03:29,465
Give us a kiss!
842
01:03:30,504 --> 01:03:33,439
Hi, I've come about
release of a prisoner.
843
01:03:33,507 --> 01:03:37,238
Prisoner release form.
844
01:03:37,311 --> 01:03:38,903
Oh, wha...?
845
01:03:38,979 --> 01:03:41,209
I don't believe you.
846
01:03:41,281 --> 01:03:43,909
These are the orders.
847
01:03:48,389 --> 01:03:49,856
"Love and kisses"?!
848
01:03:49,957 --> 01:03:54,621
Mm. Now, according
to the Galactic Penal Code,
849
01:03:54,695 --> 01:03:59,428
the punishment for
a presidential kidnapping
850
01:03:59,533 --> 01:04:03,299
is to be fed to
the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal.
851
01:04:04,171 --> 01:04:06,139
Good day.
852
01:04:06,240 --> 01:04:08,970
Ow, get off of me!
853
01:04:09,076 --> 01:04:12,705
Ow! What the hell is that?
854
01:04:12,813 --> 01:04:19,184
Ow, no, wait, wait! There's been
some kind of mistake. Ah!
855
01:04:20,254 --> 01:04:25,886
- Tick all the boxes on the right.
- Right. Got it.
856
01:04:25,959 --> 01:04:27,950
Not that one!
857
01:04:28,028 --> 01:04:32,328
What to do if you find yourself
stuck with no hope of rescue.
858
01:04:32,433 --> 01:04:36,802
Consider how lucky you are
that life has been good to you so far.
859
01:04:36,870 --> 01:04:40,271
Alternatively, if life
hasn't been good to you so far,
860
01:04:40,374 --> 01:04:43,537
which, given your current circumstances
seems more likely,
861
01:04:43,610 --> 01:04:47,740
consider how lucky you are that
it won't be troubling you much longer.
862
01:04:51,185 --> 01:04:54,086
Right, there we go.
863
01:04:54,188 --> 01:04:56,588
Oh, kidnapping the President.
864
01:04:56,690 --> 01:05:01,127
Oh, no, she's not eligible
for release at this time.
865
01:05:01,195 --> 01:05:04,358
Okay. Right.
Look, this is the President.
866
01:05:04,465 --> 01:05:06,592
- Oh!
- Okay. See, there?
867
01:05:06,667 --> 01:05:10,330
He says the kidnapping business
was a horrible misunderstanding.
868
01:05:10,404 --> 01:05:11,928
Oh, yeah.
869
01:05:12,039 --> 01:05:15,736
She meant nothing by it.
He's ordering you to let her go.
870
01:05:15,843 --> 01:05:20,576
But this isn't a presidential
release of prisoner form.
871
01:05:20,681 --> 01:05:23,878
Those are blue.
872
01:05:23,984 --> 01:05:28,045
- I'll stay here.
- All right. Hold that. Okay. Wai...
873
01:05:32,693 --> 01:05:36,789
Oh, he's hungry today.
874
01:05:37,664 --> 01:05:39,188
That's blue. Right.
875
01:05:41,435 --> 01:05:44,404
- I'm not a journalist.
- We're just hanging out.
876
01:05:44,471 --> 01:05:47,736
Okay, this is, uh,
it's for Tricia McMillan.
877
01:05:47,808 --> 01:05:52,108
Tricia McMillan. Mm. Okay.
878
01:05:53,347 --> 01:05:57,477
Sir, it's a release form.
879
01:05:57,584 --> 01:05:58,915
Thank you.
880
01:05:59,019 --> 01:06:02,079
She's free to go.
881
01:06:02,189 --> 01:06:05,420
Release her.
882
01:06:07,060 --> 01:06:10,894
Zaphod's here.
Well, then, uh, that's fine then.
883
01:06:10,998 --> 01:06:13,592
Let's just go and get him.
884
01:06:21,074 --> 01:06:23,770
Who are we waiting for again?
885
01:06:27,815 --> 01:06:29,077
No, I'm serious.
886
01:06:31,785 --> 01:06:34,049
Tricia!
887
01:06:37,090 --> 01:06:39,650
- Tricia.
- Trill.
888
01:06:39,760 --> 01:06:42,695
- Hey, come on.
- You idiot!
889
01:06:42,763 --> 01:06:44,788
You signed the order to destroy Earth.
890
01:06:44,865 --> 01:06:46,696
- He did?
- I did?
891
01:06:46,800 --> 01:06:51,260
Yes. "Love and kisses, Zaphod"?
You didn't even read it, did you?
892
01:06:51,338 --> 01:06:56,139
Honey, I'm President of the Galaxy.
I don't get a lot of time for reading.
893
01:06:58,245 --> 01:07:00,076
An entire planet, my home,
894
01:07:00,147 --> 01:07:03,275
destroyed because you thought
they wanted your autograph.
895
01:07:03,350 --> 01:07:06,148
- They framed me!
- Are you an idiot?
896
01:07:06,220 --> 01:07:10,156
- Trillian.
- You knew. Why didn't you tell me?
897
01:07:10,224 --> 01:07:14,320
- He threatened me.
- Get a backbone, Arthur.
898
01:07:14,394 --> 01:07:19,525
Oh, a backbone? What about coming here
to rescue you? Thank you. My idea. Oh!
899
01:07:20,767 --> 01:07:23,793
Stupid!
900
01:07:27,074 --> 01:07:29,440
- Got your arm.
- How considerate.
901
01:07:29,509 --> 01:07:33,843
Right, then, all those lucky enough
to have two arms, hold tight.
902
01:07:49,263 --> 01:07:53,700
Oh, the President tests my patience.
903
01:07:53,800 --> 01:07:58,635
This time I shall pursue him myself.
Ready my ship.
904
01:07:58,705 --> 01:08:01,640
Fantastic. At last.
905
01:08:06,246 --> 01:08:10,239
Oh. That's one hour for lunch,
everybody.
906
01:08:11,084 --> 01:08:14,542
I think I'll have soup today.
907
01:08:15,289 --> 01:08:18,816
The Encyclopedia Galactica,
in its chapter on love,
908
01:08:18,892 --> 01:08:22,328
states that it is
far too complicated to define.
909
01:08:22,396 --> 01:08:26,833
The Hitchhiker's Guide
to the Galaxy has this to say on love.
910
01:08:26,967 --> 01:08:29,492
"Avoid, if at all possible. "
911
01:08:29,569 --> 01:08:32,470
Unfortunately,
Arthur Dent has never read
912
01:08:32,572 --> 01:08:35,006
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
913
01:08:35,142 --> 01:08:39,101
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- No, come in.
914
01:08:39,212 --> 01:08:41,476
I... I didn't...
915
01:08:41,548 --> 01:08:46,076
Um, look, uh...
916
01:08:46,153 --> 01:08:49,088
Trillian, I just wanted to say,
you were right,
917
01:08:49,189 --> 01:08:54,024
I should've told you, and I understand
totally if you're angry with me.
918
01:08:54,094 --> 01:08:58,497
Um, for what it's worth,
I know how you must be feeling...
919
01:09:00,267 --> 01:09:04,601
- Can you hand me a towel?
- Yeah, sure, this...
920
01:09:06,073 --> 01:09:08,064
Thank you.
921
01:09:08,141 --> 01:09:11,133
Actually,
what I was going to say was...
922
01:09:12,446 --> 01:09:17,509
...if I'd said yes to you
and gone to Madagascar,
923
01:09:17,584 --> 01:09:21,452
then neither of us would be here now.
924
01:09:21,555 --> 01:09:25,321
I just thought that might
count for something.
925
01:09:28,695 --> 01:09:30,595
It doesn't matter.
926
01:09:53,653 --> 01:09:59,250
All right, computer, take us to...
Where are we... Where we headed again?
927
01:09:59,326 --> 01:10:02,784
Okay, I'm gonna get you
another lemon.
928
01:10:02,863 --> 01:10:04,854
All right.
929
01:10:08,435 --> 01:10:11,598
Engaging Improbability Drive.
930
01:10:11,671 --> 01:10:15,573
No, Zaphod, no.
Buttons are not toys. What did you do?
931
01:10:15,642 --> 01:10:17,507
Magrathean coordinates accepted.
932
01:10:25,352 --> 01:10:27,980
It blows my circuits to tell you
933
01:10:28,054 --> 01:10:31,455
that we're in orbit,
at an altitude of 300 miles,
934
01:10:31,558 --> 01:10:35,187
around the legendary planet
of Magrathea.
935
01:10:35,295 --> 01:10:37,991
Magrathea! Magrathea!
936
01:10:39,166 --> 01:10:41,657
Magrathea!
937
01:10:43,470 --> 01:10:45,597
Unbelievable.
938
01:10:49,142 --> 01:10:52,111
Incredible.
939
01:10:52,179 --> 01:10:54,647
It's even worse
than I thought it would be.
940
01:10:55,849 --> 01:11:00,149
Greetings. This is a recorded
announcement as we are all out.
941
01:11:00,253 --> 01:11:03,689
The Commercial Council of Magrathea
thanks you for your visit,
942
01:11:03,790 --> 01:11:07,157
but regrets that the entire planet
is temporarily closed.
943
01:11:07,227 --> 01:11:11,027
If you'd like to leave your name
and a planet where you can be contacted,
944
01:11:11,131 --> 01:11:13,224
kindly do so at the tone.
945
01:11:14,334 --> 01:11:18,270
- How can a planet be closed?
- Zarkin' A, cousin.
946
01:11:18,338 --> 01:11:21,774
Okay, computer, keep going.
Take us down.
947
01:11:21,875 --> 01:11:23,433
I'd be happy to.
948
01:11:25,078 --> 01:11:27,774
It is gratifying
that your enthusiasm
949
01:11:27,847 --> 01:11:29,906
for our planet continues unabated.
950
01:11:30,283 --> 01:11:32,877
As a token of our appreciation,
951
01:11:32,986 --> 01:11:36,012
we hope you will enjoy
the two thermo-nuclear missiles
952
01:11:36,122 --> 01:11:39,387
we've just sent
to converge with your craft.
953
01:11:40,126 --> 01:11:42,526
To ensure on-going quality of service,
954
01:11:42,629 --> 01:11:46,861
your death may be monitored
for training purposes. Thank you.
955
01:11:46,933 --> 01:11:48,901
I'm delighted to tell you
956
01:11:49,002 --> 01:11:51,869
there are two nuclear missiles
heading right for us.
957
01:11:51,938 --> 01:11:55,271
If you don't mind,
I'm going to take evasive action.
958
01:11:59,613 --> 01:12:02,844
Something's jamming
my guidance system.
959
01:12:02,916 --> 01:12:04,884
Impact minus 45 seconds.
960
01:12:08,655 --> 01:12:10,816
Computer, do something!
961
01:12:10,957 --> 01:12:15,223
Sure. Handing over
manual control. Good luck.
962
01:12:25,939 --> 01:12:28,669
I need some help.
963
01:12:28,775 --> 01:12:31,300
I can't do this without my third arm.
964
01:12:33,580 --> 01:12:36,378
Arthur, grab my hand!
965
01:12:46,826 --> 01:12:50,557
- Did we lose 'em?
- No, they're coming right at us.
966
01:12:53,199 --> 01:12:56,930
- Why don't I just press this?
- No, we're not back to normal yet.
967
01:12:57,003 --> 01:12:59,028
- What will happen?
- I don't know.
968
01:12:59,105 --> 01:13:03,098
Don't do it! We're here.
No telling where it'll send us.
969
01:13:06,579 --> 01:13:08,046
- Sod it all.
- No!
970
01:13:12,052 --> 01:13:15,419
Wow. Where are we?
971
01:13:17,891 --> 01:13:22,590
Exactly where we were.
972
01:13:22,729 --> 01:13:24,026
And the missiles?
973
01:13:25,098 --> 01:13:30,627
Apparently, they've turned...
into a bowl of petunias.
974
01:13:31,271 --> 01:13:35,002
And a very surprised-looking whale.
975
01:13:35,108 --> 01:13:42,412
And an improbability factor
of 8,767, 128 to 1 against.
976
01:13:43,316 --> 01:13:46,183
We have norm... normality.
977
01:13:46,286 --> 01:13:48,720
Normality, right.
978
01:13:48,788 --> 01:13:51,723
We can talk about normality
till the cows come home.
979
01:13:52,892 --> 01:13:55,918
- What is normal?
- What's home?
980
01:13:56,062 --> 01:13:57,723
What are cows?
981
01:13:58,898 --> 01:14:01,799
A proper cup of tea
would restore my normality.
982
01:14:01,868 --> 01:14:06,134
It is important to note that
suddenly, and against all probability,
983
01:14:06,206 --> 01:14:09,107
a sperm whale had been
called into existence
984
01:14:09,175 --> 01:14:13,271
several miles above
the surface of an alien planet.
985
01:14:13,346 --> 01:14:16,213
Since this is not a tenable
position for a whale,
986
01:14:16,282 --> 01:14:21,310
this innocent creature had very little
time to come to terms with its identity.
987
01:14:21,388 --> 01:14:23,982
This is what it thought as it fell:
988
01:14:24,057 --> 01:14:27,288
Ah, whoa, what's happening? Who am I?
989
01:14:27,360 --> 01:14:30,989
Why am I here? What's my purpose?
What do I mean by who am I?
990
01:14:31,131 --> 01:14:33,258
Okay, Okay, calm down, get a grip now.
991
01:14:33,366 --> 01:14:37,427
Ooh, this is an interesting sensation.
A sort of tingling in my...
992
01:14:37,504 --> 01:14:42,567
I better start finding names for things.
Let's call it a tail. Yeah, tail.
993
01:14:42,675 --> 01:14:46,736
What's this roaring sound whooshing past
what I'm gonna call my head?
994
01:14:46,846 --> 01:14:48,939
Wind. Is that a good name? That'll do.
995
01:14:49,048 --> 01:14:52,313
Yay, this is really exciting.
I'm dizzy with anticipation.
996
01:14:52,385 --> 01:14:54,979
Or is it the wind?
There's a lot of that now.
997
01:14:55,054 --> 01:14:59,115
And what's this thing coming towards me
very fast? So big and flat and round.
998
01:14:59,225 --> 01:15:04,322
It needs a big wide-sounding name
like ow, ound, round, ground!
999
01:15:04,431 --> 01:15:08,959
That's it, ground. I wonder if it will
be friends with me. Hello, ground.
1000
01:15:11,371 --> 01:15:15,171
The only thing that went through
the mind of the bowl of petunias
1001
01:15:15,241 --> 01:15:19,268
as it fell was, "Oh, no, not again!"
1002
01:15:20,513 --> 01:15:26,145
Many have speculated that if we knew
why the petunias had thought that,
1003
01:15:26,252 --> 01:15:31,622
we should know a lot more about the
nature of the universe than we do now.
1004
01:15:35,962 --> 01:15:38,226
What are those things?
1005
01:15:38,298 --> 01:15:41,665
They're portals
to another dimension.
1006
01:15:41,768 --> 01:15:46,228
Right. I don't suppose this
portal has central heating, does it?
1007
01:15:51,578 --> 01:15:54,069
Ah, this is the one.
1008
01:15:54,214 --> 01:15:58,651
This will all end in tears,
I just know it.
1009
01:16:01,521 --> 01:16:03,682
Right here.
1010
01:16:03,790 --> 01:16:07,988
Hey! Whoa!
1011
01:16:08,094 --> 01:16:10,562
Okay, in we go!
1012
01:16:10,630 --> 01:16:15,795
We can't just step into that... that!
We don't know where it leads.
1013
01:16:15,869 --> 01:16:17,996
If we pick the wrong one,
1014
01:16:18,104 --> 01:16:21,835
we just... we come back,
we pick another one. It's no biggie.
1015
01:16:21,941 --> 01:16:25,536
What? Yeah, it's a big biggie,
Ford. A big biggie.
1016
01:16:25,645 --> 01:16:30,639
What if it rips us all into
tiny little atomic particle thingies?
1017
01:16:30,717 --> 01:16:34,278
This is the right one. I have a hunch.
1018
01:16:34,354 --> 01:16:38,552
- Ford!
- His hunches are good.
1019
01:16:38,658 --> 01:16:41,058
Arthur, I say we go.
1020
01:16:41,160 --> 01:16:47,030
Go with the hunch of a man
whose brain is fuelled by lemons?!
1021
01:16:47,100 --> 01:16:48,761
This is suicide!
1022
01:16:48,835 --> 01:16:52,896
- I think I resent that.
- I don't care.
1023
01:16:52,972 --> 01:16:55,873
I'm getting hostility
from you, Alex...
1024
01:16:55,942 --> 01:16:59,503
- Arthur!
- Have you ever tried yoga?
1025
01:17:00,713 --> 01:17:04,308
- Trillian!
- I think that's supposed to happen.
1026
01:17:09,155 --> 01:17:12,556
She's gone!
Ford, she's gone!
1027
01:17:12,659 --> 01:17:15,651
Arthur, don't panic!
1028
01:17:17,363 --> 01:17:21,299
- Ford!
- Hey, wait for me!
1029
01:17:22,035 --> 01:17:24,367
Whoo!
1030
01:17:34,847 --> 01:17:36,610
Come on.
1031
01:17:36,683 --> 01:17:42,713
Idiot! Come on, come on,
come on, come on!
1032
01:17:46,426 --> 01:17:48,826
Ahhh!
1033
01:18:03,743 --> 01:18:07,440
No, no, no, don't leave.
Come on, come on, just start!
1034
01:18:07,513 --> 01:18:10,641
I told you this would end in tears.
1035
01:18:10,750 --> 01:18:12,843
Did you? Did you?
1036
01:18:20,660 --> 01:18:23,857
Geronimo!
1037
01:18:23,963 --> 01:18:26,454
Ooomph!
1038
01:18:26,566 --> 01:18:31,060
Far out! Far out! Ha-ha!
1039
01:18:31,137 --> 01:18:35,836
This is it. This is it!
Deep Thought. I'm a-coming.
1040
01:18:38,645 --> 01:18:44,982
So, this is how
it's all going to end, is it?
1041
01:18:45,051 --> 01:18:49,988
Me, alone on a dead planet,
with a manically depressed robot.
1042
01:18:50,056 --> 01:18:52,524
You think you've got problems.
1043
01:18:52,625 --> 01:18:55,150
What if you are
a manically depressed robot?
1044
01:18:55,261 --> 01:18:56,455
Excuse me.
1045
01:18:56,529 --> 01:19:00,488
- Aaaaagghhh!
- Whoa, whoa.
1046
01:19:03,536 --> 01:19:08,166
- Who are you?
- No, uh, my name is not important.
1047
01:19:08,274 --> 01:19:11,835
Uh, you must come with me.
1048
01:19:11,911 --> 01:19:16,177
- Get away.
- Terrible events are afoot.
1049
01:19:16,282 --> 01:19:19,809
Um, you... you must come
or you'll be late.
1050
01:19:19,886 --> 01:19:22,150
- Late? What for?
- What?
1051
01:19:22,221 --> 01:19:27,750
No, no. What's...
what's your name, Earthman?
1052
01:19:28,728 --> 01:19:31,128
- Dent. Arthur Dent.
- Well...
1053
01:19:31,197 --> 01:19:33,927
late as in
"the late Dentarthurdent. "
1054
01:19:34,667 --> 01:19:38,569
It's a sort of threat, do you see? No.
1055
01:19:38,671 --> 01:19:41,663
- No.
- Your friends are safe.
1056
01:19:41,741 --> 01:19:45,006
- You can trust me.
- A man who won't tell me his name?
1057
01:19:45,078 --> 01:19:49,845
Okay, my name is, um...
1058
01:19:49,916 --> 01:19:53,852
...my name is... is...
is... Slartibartfast.
1059
01:19:55,988 --> 01:19:59,082
I... I... I said it wasn't important.
1060
01:20:00,760 --> 01:20:04,958
Well... so my friends are safe?
1061
01:20:05,064 --> 01:20:06,531
Let me show you.
1062
01:20:06,599 --> 01:20:12,504
I could calculate your chances
of survival, but you won't like it.
1063
01:20:37,430 --> 01:20:40,228
Did you know we built planets?
1064
01:20:40,333 --> 01:20:44,360
Oh, yes, fascinating trade.
1065
01:20:44,437 --> 01:20:49,136
Doing the, um... doing the coastlines
was always my favorite.
1066
01:20:49,208 --> 01:20:54,874
We used to have endless fun doing the
little fiddly bits around the fjords.
1067
01:20:54,947 --> 01:20:59,941
But then the galactic economy collapsed,
and seeing that custom-built planets
1068
01:21:00,052 --> 01:21:05,581
are a... are a bit of
a luxury commodity...
1069
01:21:05,658 --> 01:21:09,526
Come with me because there's
been a terrible mix-up with your planet.
1070
01:21:09,595 --> 01:21:11,859
Best laid plans of mice, you know.
1071
01:21:11,964 --> 01:21:15,422
- And men.
- What?
1072
01:21:15,501 --> 01:21:17,492
Best laid plans of mice and men.
1073
01:21:17,570 --> 01:21:22,337
Yes, well, I don't think men
have much to do with it. Here.
1074
01:22:02,348 --> 01:22:05,317
Um, I must warn you,
1075
01:22:05,384 --> 01:22:08,876
we're going to pass through,
well, a sort of gateway thing.
1076
01:22:08,988 --> 01:22:11,218
- Huh?
- It may disturb you.
1077
01:22:11,290 --> 01:22:15,090
It scares the willies out of me.
1078
01:22:15,194 --> 01:22:17,185
Aghh! Aghh!
1079
01:22:43,556 --> 01:22:49,392
Ha, ha, ha.
Welcome to our factory floor.
1080
01:23:10,483 --> 01:23:12,280
Okay.
1081
01:23:12,351 --> 01:23:15,809
All right. All right.
1082
01:23:15,888 --> 01:23:18,755
Yeah, this is it.
1083
01:23:21,794 --> 01:23:24,319
This is it.
1084
01:23:24,430 --> 01:23:28,298
O great Deep Thought!
1085
01:23:28,401 --> 01:23:30,096
We have traveled long...
1086
01:23:32,204 --> 01:23:33,967
...and far.
1087
01:23:34,073 --> 01:23:39,568
Have you calculated
the ultimate question of life,
1088
01:23:39,645 --> 01:23:42,045
the universe and everything?
1089
01:23:42,114 --> 01:23:43,877
No.
1090
01:23:43,950 --> 01:23:46,544
- What?
- I've been watching TV.
1091
01:23:46,652 --> 01:23:47,710
Oh.
1092
01:23:47,787 --> 01:23:51,484
I designed
another computer to do that.
1093
01:23:51,557 --> 01:23:53,855
Oh, right, I forgot. Is it here?
1094
01:23:53,960 --> 01:23:56,724
No, it's not here. It's another world.
1095
01:23:56,829 --> 01:23:58,990
It's on another world.
1096
01:23:59,065 --> 01:24:02,557
It is another world, stupid.
1097
01:24:02,635 --> 01:24:05,103
Or it was until the Vogons destroyed it
1098
01:24:05,171 --> 01:24:07,503
to make way
for a hyperspace expressway.
1099
01:24:07,707 --> 01:24:09,971
Well... Okay.
1100
01:24:10,042 --> 01:24:12,135
You sure you don't have the question,
1101
01:24:12,244 --> 01:24:15,771
or a way to, you know,
access it or something?
1102
01:24:15,848 --> 01:24:17,816
'Cause I think I've done
a lot to get here.
1103
01:24:17,917 --> 01:24:22,377
Oh, shh, shh. The show's back on.
1104
01:24:26,726 --> 01:24:30,787
Well, I don't wanna bother you,
so I'm gonna... Good stuff.
1105
01:24:30,896 --> 01:24:35,333
Great. I'm gonna go and find something
else for my entire life to be about.
1106
01:24:35,401 --> 01:24:38,700
Zaphod, Zaphod,
there's the... the gun.
1107
01:24:38,771 --> 01:24:41,069
- Gun?
- That Humma sent you for.
1108
01:24:41,173 --> 01:24:45,633
- You gave him your head.
- Why'd I... Why'd I do that?
1109
01:24:45,711 --> 01:24:47,406
- Okay.
- That's stupid.
1110
01:24:47,513 --> 01:24:52,610
O Deep Thought,
we were told that there is a gun.
1111
01:25:07,433 --> 01:25:09,697
- There you are.
- Hm?
1112
01:25:09,769 --> 01:25:11,464
Look familiar?
1113
01:25:11,537 --> 01:25:15,029
So it wasn't destroyed?
1114
01:25:15,107 --> 01:25:19,407
Actually, it was.
This is a backup. Earth Mark II.
1115
01:25:22,515 --> 01:25:24,312
So you... you made the Earth?
1116
01:25:24,417 --> 01:25:28,046
Not me alone,
but I... I did my part.
1117
01:25:28,154 --> 01:25:31,419
Ever heard of a place,
I think it's called Norway?
1118
01:25:31,524 --> 01:25:35,392
That was one of mine.
I... I got an award for it.
1119
01:25:42,768 --> 01:25:44,998
Oh, hoo!
1120
01:25:45,071 --> 01:25:48,529
All right, Frank?
That's... that's Frank.
1121
01:25:49,475 --> 01:25:54,242
Ah-ha. They...
they've nearly finished the oceans.
1122
01:26:02,421 --> 01:26:03,752
Zaphod.
1123
01:26:03,856 --> 01:26:05,847
Here, it's...
1124
01:26:08,360 --> 01:26:11,420
...it's just like Humma said.
1125
01:26:11,497 --> 01:26:14,091
- Now you can go get your head back.
- Hey, Ford.
1126
01:26:14,200 --> 01:26:16,668
It's been nice knowing you,
you zarking frood.
1127
01:26:16,735 --> 01:26:17,759
No!
1128
01:26:17,837 --> 01:26:20,101
- Whoa!
- This is a bust too.
1129
01:26:20,206 --> 01:26:25,769
H... H... Hey, man. You know,
you must really be frustrated.
1130
01:26:25,878 --> 01:26:28,779
You go through all you have,
you don't get an answer,
1131
01:26:28,881 --> 01:26:31,475
which means no money or fame,
which you deserve...
1132
01:26:31,584 --> 01:26:34,178
The Point-of-View Gun,
conveniently,
1133
01:26:34,286 --> 01:26:36,686
does precisely what its name suggests.
1134
01:26:36,789 --> 01:26:39,314
Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic.
1135
01:26:40,426 --> 01:26:43,395
If you point it at
someone and pull the trigger,
1136
01:26:43,529 --> 01:26:46,123
they instantly see things
from your point of view.
1137
01:26:46,232 --> 01:26:48,200
Give me that thing.
1138
01:26:48,300 --> 01:26:50,268
It was designed by Deep Thought,
1139
01:26:50,336 --> 01:26:54,238
but commissioned by a consortium
of intergalactic angry housewives
1140
01:26:54,306 --> 01:26:56,774
who, after arguments
with their husbands,
1141
01:26:56,842 --> 01:27:00,209
were sick of ending
those arguments with the phrase,
1142
01:27:00,312 --> 01:27:02,371
"You just don't get it, do you?"
1143
01:27:03,616 --> 01:27:07,450
Uh, uh, and you're right,
I shouldn't be so upset
1144
01:27:07,520 --> 01:27:09,784
because life goes on, you know,
1145
01:27:09,855 --> 01:27:12,653
and I should just go on with it.
1146
01:27:12,725 --> 01:27:15,023
Shoot him again.
1147
01:27:15,094 --> 01:27:17,085
Whoa.
1148
01:27:18,330 --> 01:27:22,096
Hitchhiking's good. Towels are good too.
1149
01:27:22,168 --> 01:27:25,501
- Say what?
- That is brilliant.
1150
01:27:25,571 --> 01:27:27,630
What's goin'...?
1151
01:27:27,706 --> 01:27:30,504
I can see why Humma Kavula
would want one of these.
1152
01:27:31,744 --> 01:27:34,474
- We better get back. Arthur's waiting.
- Who cares?
1153
01:27:34,547 --> 01:27:39,109
I do. Especially since we're somewhat
of an endangered species, thanks to you.
1154
01:27:39,185 --> 01:27:41,312
Why so edgy, baby doll? Relax.
1155
01:27:41,453 --> 01:27:44,217
You wanna know why I'm edgy?
1156
01:27:44,323 --> 01:27:48,259
Argh. Of course you're edgy.
Your planet's been blown up
1157
01:27:48,360 --> 01:27:51,989
and you've been tooling around
with the guy who signed the order.
1158
01:27:52,097 --> 01:27:53,621
Huh?
1159
01:27:53,699 --> 01:27:56,497
Ugh! You actually wanted
to know the question
1160
01:27:56,602 --> 01:27:59,503
because you always wondered
if there was more to life
1161
01:27:59,538 --> 01:28:03,440
and now you're crushed
because you find out there really isn't.
1162
01:28:03,509 --> 01:28:08,037
Hey, fantastic. Psychedelic.
1163
01:28:09,848 --> 01:28:13,614
You've got no home, no family,
and you're stuck with me,
1164
01:28:13,719 --> 01:28:17,348
another in a long line of men
who doesn't really get you.
1165
01:28:17,423 --> 01:28:21,052
Huh? That's not true.
1166
01:28:24,463 --> 01:28:28,866
And you're worried you might have blown
it with the one guy who really does.
1167
01:28:30,569 --> 01:28:32,366
Hey, whoops.
1168
01:28:34,473 --> 01:28:37,101
Oh, baby doll.
1169
01:28:37,209 --> 01:28:40,576
Give me that thing.
1170
01:28:42,014 --> 01:28:46,280
It won't affect me.
I'm already a woman.
1171
01:28:57,396 --> 01:28:59,694
It's okay.
It's only a couple of little mice!
1172
01:29:03,435 --> 01:29:06,927
Voilą!
Himalayas. Good, eh?
1173
01:29:10,409 --> 01:29:12,775
Earthman, you must realize
1174
01:29:12,878 --> 01:29:19,408
that the planet you lived on was
commissioned, paid for and run by mice.
1175
01:29:22,187 --> 01:29:25,486
When you say mice, do you mean
the little furry white creatures
1176
01:29:25,557 --> 01:29:27,457
with whiskers, ears, cheese?
1177
01:29:27,559 --> 01:29:32,622
Yeah, but they're protrusions into our
dimension of hyper intelligent beings.
1178
01:29:32,698 --> 01:29:36,190
I don't know this cheese
of which you speak,
1179
01:29:36,302 --> 01:29:40,033
but they were there on Earth
as mice experimenting on you.
1180
01:29:40,139 --> 01:29:45,042
I see where you've become confused now.
You see, we were experimenting on them.
1181
01:29:45,144 --> 01:29:49,012
Ah, no, well, yeah, no.
That's what they wanted you to think,
1182
01:29:49,081 --> 01:29:53,040
but you were actually
elements in their computer program.
1183
01:29:54,753 --> 01:29:57,221
Actually, this explains a lot.
1184
01:29:57,323 --> 01:29:59,951
All my life,
I've had this strange feeling
1185
01:30:00,025 --> 01:30:03,051
there's something big and sinister
going on in the world.
1186
01:30:03,162 --> 01:30:06,893
No, that's normal paranoia.
Everyone in the universe gets that.
1187
01:30:10,235 --> 01:30:13,762
Perhaps I'm old and tired,
but the chances of finding out
1188
01:30:13,839 --> 01:30:16,535
what's actually going on
are so absurdly remote
1189
01:30:16,642 --> 01:30:20,738
that the only thing to do is say hang
the sense of it and keep yourself busy.
1190
01:30:20,846 --> 01:30:23,280
I'd much rather be happy
than right any day.
1191
01:30:23,382 --> 01:30:25,350
- And are you?
- Uh... no.
1192
01:30:25,451 --> 01:30:28,113
That's where
it all falls down, of course.
1193
01:30:39,398 --> 01:30:41,491
Here you are then.
1194
01:30:56,014 --> 01:30:57,641
Is this...?
1195
01:31:11,630 --> 01:31:13,894
It's, um... It's all there.
1196
01:31:15,033 --> 01:31:17,297
You know, it all works.
1197
01:31:17,369 --> 01:31:19,428
Welcome home.
1198
01:31:38,991 --> 01:31:41,323
- Hey!
- Hey, man!
1199
01:31:41,427 --> 01:31:43,520
- There you are!
- Surprise!
1200
01:31:43,595 --> 01:31:46,530
What are you doing?
What happened to you?
1201
01:31:46,665 --> 01:31:48,132
Is that tea?
1202
01:31:48,200 --> 01:31:52,534
- First, our hosts attacked us.
- Right.
1203
01:31:52,604 --> 01:31:56,096
But then they made up for it
by making us...
1204
01:31:56,175 --> 01:31:58,473
...this amazing meal.
1205
01:31:59,511 --> 01:32:02,708
It's so... Everything's right.
Everything's delicious.
1206
01:32:04,316 --> 01:32:07,012
Oh, come on, that's lovely.
1207
01:32:07,085 --> 01:32:09,349
We're glad you like it, Earth creature.
1208
01:32:13,559 --> 01:32:18,223
The, um, talking... talking mice. Cool.
1209
01:32:18,330 --> 01:32:23,461
- Sit, Earthman.
- Oh, thank you. Thank you for that.
1210
01:32:24,436 --> 01:32:27,872
- Please, drink.
- Um, uh, excuse me.
1211
01:32:27,973 --> 01:32:31,340
- Uh, is there anything else?
- No, we're quite happy, thank you.
1212
01:32:31,443 --> 01:32:35,174
Um, good, I'll be outside, so...
1213
01:32:35,247 --> 01:32:37,477
You were right.
1214
01:32:37,549 --> 01:32:39,346
- Please, drink.
- Yes.
1215
01:32:40,018 --> 01:32:41,952
He was right.
1216
01:32:42,087 --> 01:32:43,918
Now, to business.
1217
01:32:43,989 --> 01:32:45,820
To business!
1218
01:32:45,891 --> 01:32:47,188
Eat!
1219
01:32:47,292 --> 01:32:49,055
- Shh.
- Sorry.
1220
01:32:49,161 --> 01:32:51,652
We've spent a lot of time
on your planet
1221
01:32:51,730 --> 01:32:53,698
looking for this ultimate question.
1222
01:32:53,799 --> 01:32:57,360
Only to have it blow up
in our faces. Literally.
1223
01:32:57,469 --> 01:33:00,996
Which is why you're here.
We've been offered a lucrative contract
1224
01:33:01,039 --> 01:33:03,064
to do several 5-D TV chat shows.
1225
01:33:03,141 --> 01:33:05,735
But here's the point.
We must have product.
1226
01:33:05,811 --> 01:33:09,008
We need the ultimate question,
or one that sounds ultimate.
1227
01:33:09,114 --> 01:33:11,173
- Of course.
- We've rebuilt the planet.
1228
01:33:11,250 --> 01:33:14,413
Now all we need
is the missing piece of the puzzle.
1229
01:33:14,486 --> 01:33:16,681
- Which happens to be your brain.
- Right.
1230
01:33:16,755 --> 01:33:18,052
More tea?
1231
01:33:18,156 --> 01:33:20,886
Sorry, did you just say
you need my brain?
1232
01:33:20,959 --> 01:33:23,223
Yes, to complete the program.
1233
01:33:26,198 --> 01:33:28,928
You can't have my brain. I'm using it.
1234
01:33:29,034 --> 01:33:33,869
- Hardly.
- Hardly? Cheeky... Cheeky mouse.
1235
01:33:38,343 --> 01:33:40,903
Zaphod! Trillian!
1236
01:33:41,013 --> 01:33:43,311
Ford.
1237
01:33:43,382 --> 01:33:44,872
What was in that food?
1238
01:33:44,983 --> 01:33:48,714
What was in my tea?
1239
01:33:48,787 --> 01:33:51,381
Don't worry. You won't feel a thing.
1240
01:33:54,826 --> 01:33:56,851
Just wait a sodding minute.
1241
01:33:56,995 --> 01:33:59,520
You want a question
that goes with the answer 42?
1242
01:33:59,598 --> 01:34:01,259
What about, what's 6x7?
1243
01:34:01,366 --> 01:34:04,927
Or, um, uh, how many Vogons
does it take to change a light bulb?
1244
01:34:05,003 --> 01:34:08,803
Here's one: How many roads
must a man walk down?
1245
01:34:10,175 --> 01:34:12,143
Hey, that's not bad.
1246
01:34:12,244 --> 01:34:18,649
Fine. Fine, take it, 'cause my head
is filled with questions,
1247
01:34:18,750 --> 01:34:20,980
and no answer to any one of them
1248
01:34:21,086 --> 01:34:24,715
has ever brought me
one iota of happiness.
1249
01:34:24,790 --> 01:34:26,382
Except for one.
1250
01:34:26,458 --> 01:34:29,427
The one. The only question
I've ever wanted an answer to.
1251
01:34:29,494 --> 01:34:31,121
Is she the one?
1252
01:34:32,197 --> 01:34:35,633
The answer bloody well isn't 42,
it's yes.
1253
01:34:35,734 --> 01:34:41,263
Undoubtedly, unequivocally,
unabashedly, yes.
1254
01:34:41,340 --> 01:34:44,241
And for one week,
1255
01:34:44,343 --> 01:34:49,110
one week in my sad little...
blip of an existence...
1256
01:34:51,416 --> 01:34:53,884
...it made me happy.
1257
01:34:55,587 --> 01:34:57,020
That's a good answer.
1258
01:34:57,122 --> 01:35:00,319
We don't want to be happy.
We want to be famous.
1259
01:35:00,392 --> 01:35:04,089
- What's this "Is she the one" tripe?
- Take his brain!
1260
01:35:04,162 --> 01:35:07,359
No, don't take the brain!
Don't take the brain, mice!
1261
01:35:16,475 --> 01:35:18,102
It wasn't me!
1262
01:35:18,176 --> 01:35:20,076
I'm famous.
1263
01:35:20,145 --> 01:35:22,545
Shoot him, quickly, shoot him!
1264
01:35:22,614 --> 01:35:24,081
Oh, bollocks!
1265
01:35:24,216 --> 01:35:25,706
Agghh!
1266
01:35:33,125 --> 01:35:34,615
I'm gonna be sick.
1267
01:35:37,429 --> 01:35:38,896
Belgium.
1268
01:35:48,073 --> 01:35:49,506
Follow me.
1269
01:35:50,142 --> 01:35:52,667
Left, right, left, right.
1270
01:35:52,778 --> 01:35:55,269
Attention!
1271
01:35:58,750 --> 01:36:01,719
Thanks a lot
for leaving me behind.
1272
01:36:01,820 --> 01:36:04,084
Though I can't say I blame you.
1273
01:36:04,156 --> 01:36:07,853
Mr. President,
we're here for your protection.
1274
01:36:07,926 --> 01:36:10,258
Thanks, man. I appreciate it.
1275
01:36:10,362 --> 01:36:11,693
Fire!
1276
01:36:13,498 --> 01:36:15,125
No! No!
1277
01:36:18,170 --> 01:36:20,263
What's all the fuss about?
1278
01:36:20,372 --> 01:36:23,205
Vogons are the worst marksmen
in the galaxy. Ooh.
1279
01:36:23,275 --> 01:36:28,406
- For God's sake, stop!
- Cease fire.
1280
01:36:35,053 --> 01:36:39,547
Now I've got a headache...
headache... headache...
1281
01:36:47,766 --> 01:36:49,734
Marvin!
1282
01:36:49,835 --> 01:36:51,097
Oh, no.
1283
01:36:51,169 --> 01:36:56,607
He's got a towel, run away!
1284
01:36:58,844 --> 01:37:01,813
I'm gonna get us outta here.
How do you drive this thing?
1285
01:37:05,650 --> 01:37:08,710
We need that gun.
1286
01:37:08,787 --> 01:37:11,722
Come on. Get this ship started.
Come on. Start!
1287
01:37:12,824 --> 01:37:14,849
Come on. Oh, fire, fire!
1288
01:37:14,993 --> 01:37:16,290
Fire, fire!
1289
01:37:17,295 --> 01:37:19,525
Oo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo!
1290
01:37:20,899 --> 01:37:23,163
He's locked it
from the other side.
1291
01:37:23,235 --> 01:37:25,362
We'll have to go the other way.
1292
01:37:25,470 --> 01:37:27,404
Come on, let's go!
1293
01:37:32,711 --> 01:37:35,202
Stop!
1294
01:37:37,449 --> 01:37:39,474
Oh, no!
1295
01:37:41,253 --> 01:37:45,383
Stop it! Stop it!
Stop shooting at us!
1296
01:38:04,476 --> 01:38:08,139
Oh, I feel so depressed.
1297
01:38:09,548 --> 01:38:14,485
I can't face another day.
1298
01:38:16,354 --> 01:38:18,151
What's the point?
1299
01:38:26,198 --> 01:38:28,462
- You all right?
- Yeah.
1300
01:38:34,172 --> 01:38:37,039
Sorry about your spaceship, Arthur.
1301
01:38:42,581 --> 01:38:44,811
Marvin, you saved our lives.
1302
01:38:44,883 --> 01:38:48,148
I know. Wretched, isn't it?
1303
01:38:53,625 --> 01:38:56,651
You got to ask yourself,
what's the point?
1304
01:38:56,795 --> 01:38:59,525
Take it away.
1305
01:39:07,105 --> 01:39:12,372
You could do all of that, but it's not
gonna... Well, I'll ask... I'll just ask.
1306
01:39:12,477 --> 01:39:16,277
I... I... I've just been informed
by some of the lads
1307
01:39:16,381 --> 01:39:18,815
that since we're so near completion,
1308
01:39:18,884 --> 01:39:21,284
we're gonna go ahead and finish Earth.
1309
01:39:21,353 --> 01:39:22,877
Oh.
1310
01:39:22,988 --> 01:39:27,015
We, well, we can put it back exactly
as it was when you left, you know.
1311
01:39:27,092 --> 01:39:30,459
Unless there's, um...
1312
01:39:30,562 --> 01:39:34,054
...there's, you know,
anything you want to change.
1313
01:39:36,201 --> 01:39:41,503
Something you think
your planet could do without.
1314
01:39:42,941 --> 01:39:46,240
Yeah. Me.
1315
01:39:46,711 --> 01:39:48,975
Oh! Um, hello?
1316
01:39:49,047 --> 01:39:52,744
No, as is. Yep, leave it. Yep.
1317
01:39:54,719 --> 01:39:56,311
Let's go somewhere.
1318
01:39:56,388 --> 01:39:58,982
Definitely. Where did you have in mind?
1319
01:39:59,090 --> 01:40:02,321
I know this great restaurant
at the end of the universe.
1320
01:40:02,427 --> 01:40:05,453
I am a little peckish.
1321
01:40:07,465 --> 01:40:10,263
I need to go to Humma's.
He's got something of mine.
1322
01:40:10,368 --> 01:40:15,965
- I think. I'm so confused.
- Don't worry, baby. We'll sort it out.
1323
01:40:16,074 --> 01:40:19,703
All right, let's trip the
light fantastic, baby. Just you and me.
1324
01:40:19,811 --> 01:40:21,642
Come on.
1325
01:40:21,746 --> 01:40:25,807
- You got your towel?
- Yeah. Why? Am I going to need it?
1326
01:40:25,917 --> 01:40:29,353
- Only always.
- Right. Yeah.
1327
01:40:29,454 --> 01:40:33,390
I wouldn't want to go
anywhere without my wonderful towel.
1328
01:40:38,463 --> 01:40:41,364
Okay. Hold tight.
1329
01:40:44,869 --> 01:40:50,068
Stand by for commencement
of life cycle. In three, two, one...
1330
01:40:50,141 --> 01:40:53,702
All right! Whoo!
1331
01:41:36,254 --> 01:41:38,552
Not that
anyone cares what I say,
1332
01:41:38,623 --> 01:41:41,854
but the restaurant
is at the other end of the universe.
1333
01:43:45,083 --> 01:43:46,380
Yeah!
1334
01:43:57,529 --> 01:43:58,962
Play it!
1335
01:44:57,222 --> 01:45:01,454
It is, of course, well known
that careless talk costs lives.
1336
01:45:01,559 --> 01:45:04,653
But the full scale of the problem
is not always appreciated.
1337
01:45:04,762 --> 01:45:08,391
For instance, at the very moment
that Arthur Dent said,
1338
01:45:08,499 --> 01:45:12,060
"I wouldn't want to go anywhere
without my wonderful towel"
1339
01:45:12,136 --> 01:45:16,732
a freak wormhole opened up in
the fabric of the space-time continuum
1340
01:45:16,808 --> 01:45:20,300
and carried his words far,
far back in time,
1341
01:45:20,378 --> 01:45:24,439
across almost infinite reaches of space,
to a distant galaxy
1342
01:45:24,515 --> 01:45:28,212
where strange and warlike beings
were poised on the brink
1343
01:45:28,286 --> 01:45:30,777
of frightful interstellar battle.
1344
01:45:30,855 --> 01:45:35,417
The two opposing leaders, resplendent
in their black-jeweled battle shorts
1345
01:45:35,493 --> 01:45:37,518
were meeting for the last time,
1346
01:45:37,662 --> 01:45:40,426
when a dreadful silence fell.
1347
01:45:40,498 --> 01:45:42,466
And at that very moment,
1348
01:45:42,567 --> 01:45:46,560
the words "I wouldn't want to go
anywhere without my wonderful towel"
1349
01:45:46,704 --> 01:45:49,673
drifted across the conference table.
1350
01:45:49,741 --> 01:45:52,437
Unfortunately, in their native tongue,
1351
01:45:52,510 --> 01:45:55,502
this was the most appalling
insult imaginable.
1352
01:45:55,613 --> 01:45:57,240
So the opposing battle fleets
1353
01:45:57,315 --> 01:45:59,909
decided to settle
their remaining differences,
1354
01:45:59,984 --> 01:46:03,385
in order to launch
a joint attack on our galaxy,
1355
01:46:03,488 --> 01:46:07,584
now positively identified
as the source of the offending remark.
1356
01:46:07,692 --> 01:46:10,923
For thousands of years,
the mighty starships tore across
1357
01:46:11,062 --> 01:46:16,500
the empty wastes of space and finally
dived screaming onto the planet Earth,
1358
01:46:16,567 --> 01:46:20,594
where, due to
a terrible miscalculation of scale,
1359
01:46:20,705 --> 01:46:25,540
the entire battle fleet was
accidentally swallowed by a small dog.
1360
01:46:25,610 --> 01:46:29,205
Those who study the complex
interplay of cause and effect
1361
01:46:29,314 --> 01:46:31,043
in the history of the universe,
1362
01:46:31,149 --> 01:46:35,677
say that this sort of thing
is going on all the time.
1363
01:46:45,678 --> 01:46:48,478
Ripped by:
SkyFury