1
00:00:02,101 --> 00:00:03,670
♪ I am the stone 
The builder refused ♪

2
00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:05,905
♪ I am the visual 
The inspiration ♪

3
00:00:05,905 --> 00:00:07,373
♪ That made lady 
Sing the blues ♪

4
00:00:07,373 --> 00:00:09,242
♪ I'm the spark 
That makes your idea bright ♪

5
00:00:09,242 --> 00:00:10,843
♪ The same spark 
That lights the dark ♪

6
00:00:10,843 --> 00:00:12,445
♪ So that you can know 
Left from right ♪

7
00:00:12,445 --> 00:00:14,513
♪ I am the ballot in your box 
The bullet in the gun ♪

8
00:00:14,513 --> 00:00:16,015
♪ The inner glow 
That lets you know ♪

9
00:00:16,015 --> 00:00:17,784
♪ To call your brother sun ♪

10
00:00:17,784 --> 00:00:19,084
♪ The story that just begun ♪

11
00:00:19,084 --> 00:00:20,453
♪ The promise 
Of what's to come ♪

12
00:00:20,453 --> 00:00:21,654
♪ And I'm 'a remain a soldier ♪

13
00:00:21,654 --> 00:00:23,389
♪ Till the war is won 
Won ♪

14
00:00:23,389 --> 00:00:26,559
♪ Chop, chop, chop 
Judo flip ♪

15
00:00:26,559 --> 00:00:29,061
♪ Chop, chop, chop 
Judo flip ♪

16
00:00:29,061 --> 00:00:31,264
♪ Chop, chop, chop 
Judo flip ♪

17
00:00:31,264 --> 00:00:32,966
♪ Chop, chop, chop ♪

18
00:00:34,066 --> 00:00:35,234
[CRASHING]

19
00:00:35,234 --> 00:00:36,536
HUEY: 
 The sectarian conflict

20
00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:38,637
between myself 
and my brother Riley

21
00:00:38,637 --> 00:00:41,407
was heading into its eighth 
year with no signs of slowing.

22
00:00:41,407 --> 00:00:43,242
[HUMMING]

23
00:00:43,242 --> 00:00:45,611
[♪♪♪]

24
00:00:45,611 --> 00:00:47,680
[THUDDING, SMASHING]

25
00:00:48,848 --> 00:00:50,417
[HUMMING]

26
00:00:52,051 --> 00:00:57,356
[GLASS SMASHING, CRASHING]

27
00:00:57,356 --> 00:00:59,825
[HUMMING]

28
00:00:59,825 --> 00:01:01,194
HUEY: 
Come back here, Riley.

29
00:01:01,961 --> 00:01:03,496
Huh?

30
00:01:06,365 --> 00:01:08,934
[GRANDDAD SCREAMING]

31
00:01:08,934 --> 00:01:10,203
I'm tired of you two punksters.

32
00:01:10,203 --> 00:01:12,371
All you do is fight, eat 
and fuck up my house.

33
00:01:12,371 --> 00:01:14,808
You think I wanna deal with 
this shit at the end of my life?

34
00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:15,942
You know what I'm gonna do?

35
00:01:15,942 --> 00:01:17,210
Fill the bathtub 
with water

36
00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:18,678
and drown both 
your little asses.

37
00:01:18,678 --> 00:01:20,179
Now, move the hell 
out of my way.

38
00:01:20,179 --> 00:01:21,347
Still got soap in my ass.

39
00:01:23,316 --> 00:01:25,218
I'm telling you, Tom, 
they drive women away.

40
00:01:25,218 --> 00:01:26,619
I used to have an exciting life.

41
00:01:26,619 --> 00:01:28,287
Have fun, travel.

42
00:01:28,287 --> 00:01:31,357
Oh, drink fine wines. 
But not anymore.

43
00:01:31,357 --> 00:01:34,426
I can't even go to dinner. 
I can't even go to a damn movie.

44
00:01:34,426 --> 00:01:36,895
I come back, 
my house look like Baghdad.

45
00:01:36,895 --> 00:01:38,798
I told you before, 
you ought to drive them out

46
00:01:38,798 --> 00:01:40,232
to the middle of nowhere,

47
00:01:40,232 --> 00:01:42,568
leave 'em for dead and 
then hope for the very worst.

48
00:01:42,568 --> 00:01:44,503
Sounds to me 
like you need a vacation.

49
00:01:44,503 --> 00:01:47,507
Shit, who you telling? 
I need to get my black ass away.

50
00:01:47,507 --> 00:01:49,175
Some place 
far away and exotic.

51
00:01:49,175 --> 00:01:52,244
Absolutely. Splurge. 
It's like the rappers say:

52
00:01:52,244 --> 00:01:53,513
do it big.

53
00:01:53,513 --> 00:01:55,481
"Do it big," huh? 
I like that.

54
00:01:55,481 --> 00:01:56,782
I could go 
on a "do it big" trip.

55
00:01:56,782 --> 00:01:59,785
Ha-ha. Yeah. 
Now you're talking. Yes.

56
00:01:59,785 --> 00:02:01,321
[LAUGHING]

57
00:02:01,321 --> 00:02:03,389
It might be time to bring 
Mr. Bitches back out

58
00:02:03,389 --> 00:02:06,525
to show them young boys 
how the real players play.

59
00:02:06,525 --> 00:02:07,526
[LAUGHING]

60
00:02:06,525 --> 00:02:07,526
Yeah.

61
00:02:07,526 --> 00:02:08,895
Oh, yeah, look out.

62
00:02:08,895 --> 00:02:11,897
Mr. Bitches is back 
on the scene. Ha, ha, ha.

63
00:02:11,897 --> 00:02:14,267
High-five me. No? Okay.

64
00:02:14,267 --> 00:02:16,635
Yeah, you know what? 
You should go to Latin America.

65
00:02:16,635 --> 00:02:19,672
You know, 
someplace like Costa Rica.

66
00:02:19,672 --> 00:02:21,107
Oh, I can see it now.

67
00:02:21,107 --> 00:02:24,210
Mr. Bitches hitting 
the clubs all night long.

68
00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:27,046
Get a table in VIP, 
pop a little Cristal.

69
00:02:27,046 --> 00:02:28,747
Call the girls, 
"Hey, babies--"

70
00:02:28,747 --> 00:02:30,582
TOM: 
 W-w-wait a minute, Robert.

71
00:02:30,582 --> 00:02:32,952
Ha-ha. I don't think you're 
supposed to drink Cristal.

72
00:02:32,952 --> 00:02:35,688
Says who?

73
00:02:32,952 --> 00:02:35,688
Says Jay-Z. It's a boycott.

74
00:02:35,688 --> 00:02:37,990
The owner said something racial. 
I don't know.

75
00:02:37,990 --> 00:02:39,458
Oh, hold on, 
I know what he said.

76
00:02:39,458 --> 00:02:40,893
He said, and I quote:

77
00:02:40,893 --> 00:02:44,764
"I don't want no big nigger lips 
drinking my fine wine,"

78
00:02:44,764 --> 00:02:47,633
and I applaud him for putting 
conviction over profit.

79
00:02:47,633 --> 00:02:50,036
Well, I don't know 
if that's what he said,

80
00:02:50,036 --> 00:02:51,604
but you're not 
supposed to drink it.

81
00:02:51,604 --> 00:02:52,604
But I wanna drink Cris.

82
00:02:52,604 --> 00:02:53,939
Poor white man.

83
00:02:53,939 --> 00:02:57,110
He can't have nothing nice 
for himself no more.

84
00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:58,811
Polo? 
Niggers got to that.

85
00:02:58,811 --> 00:03:00,947
Timberland? 
Niggers got to that too.

86
00:03:00,947 --> 00:03:04,717
Mercedes, Versace, white women. 
Niggers, niggers, niggers.

87
00:03:04,717 --> 00:03:07,954
Hey, Robert, if you want beef 
with the Roc, that's on you.

88
00:03:07,954 --> 00:03:10,322
Hope the Jigga Man ain't there.

89
00:03:07,954 --> 00:03:10,322
Like I give a damn.

90
00:03:10,322 --> 00:03:11,857
Shoot, 
I drink what I wanna drink.

91
00:03:11,857 --> 00:03:13,192
Besides, 
I packs the heat.

92
00:03:13,192 --> 00:03:16,295
I wish a nigger would try 
to tell me what to drink.

93
00:03:16,295 --> 00:03:17,596
Once you pop the Cris,

94
00:03:17,596 --> 00:03:19,665
that's when the pretty 
señoritas come running

95
00:03:19,665 --> 00:03:21,967
because they know there's 
a rich American in the room.

96
00:03:21,967 --> 00:03:24,770
TOM: 
 Yeah! I bet our dollar 
is worth 20 of theirs.

97
00:03:24,770 --> 00:03:27,340
GRANDDAD: 
 Shoot, all you gotta do 
is flash a little change.

98
00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:28,875
Ballin'!

99
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:31,143
GRANDDAD: And it's on.

100
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:31,143
[TOM AND GRANDDAD LAUGHING]

101
00:03:31,143 --> 00:03:33,279
TOM: 
 Yeah, you know what? 
I think I might join you.

102
00:03:33,279 --> 00:03:35,882
[TOM SCATTING POORLY]

103
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,284
Uh, damn, Tom, 
are you sure you wanna come?

104
00:03:38,284 --> 00:03:39,418
I mean, 
you married.

105
00:03:39,418 --> 00:03:40,820
Are you even allowed 
to do it big?

106
00:03:40,820 --> 00:03:42,187
Ha! Oh, listen to this:

107
00:03:42,187 --> 00:03:43,489
"Am I allowed"?

108
00:03:43,489 --> 00:03:47,193
Sure, as long as I stay 
within the agreed parameters.

109
00:03:47,193 --> 00:03:49,362
Ha, ha. 
Hey, I'm not dead, you know.

110
00:03:49,362 --> 00:03:52,465
I still do the darn thing 
from time to time.

111
00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:55,534
You and me baby, doing it big. 
It'll be great.

112
00:03:55,534 --> 00:03:56,535
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

113
00:03:56,535 --> 00:03:57,870
Yeah, I guess so.

114
00:03:59,438 --> 00:04:02,674
Pictures? 
Yes, I'll take a dozen 8-by-10.

115
00:04:02,674 --> 00:04:05,111
Yes. Jay-Z. 
Yes. Cousin of mine.

116
00:04:05,111 --> 00:04:08,247
Heh-heh. First cousin. 
More Cristal?

117
00:04:08,247 --> 00:04:13,218
You are so exotic and beautiful.

118
00:04:08,247 --> 00:04:13,218
Mm. Black sexual chocolate man.

119
00:04:13,218 --> 00:04:16,488
TOM: 
Waiter, another Malibu 
and pineapple, please.

120
00:04:16,488 --> 00:04:18,557
Thank you. 
Ha, ha, ha.

121
00:04:18,557 --> 00:04:20,426
So then my dream 
got really weird,

122
00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:23,596
'cause I was a mummy 
in a Japanese girl pop band.

123
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:27,733
I had a skirt on and everything. 
Do you know what that means?

124
00:04:27,733 --> 00:04:30,002
I am so bored. 
I wanna go home.

125
00:04:30,002 --> 00:04:33,071
Well, we wanna go have a nasty 
threesome with Mr. Bitches,

126
00:04:33,071 --> 00:04:34,573
but if you guys wanna 
leave...

127
00:04:34,573 --> 00:04:37,509
Huh? No! No, please wait. No.

128
00:04:34,573 --> 00:04:37,509
See you.

129
00:04:37,509 --> 00:04:38,710
GRANDDAD: 
Wait a minute!

130
00:04:38,710 --> 00:04:40,747
[♪♪♪]

131
00:04:50,823 --> 00:04:52,558
[SHOUTING] 
Told you so!

132
00:04:53,926 --> 00:04:55,028
TOM: 
So, what do you say?

133
00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:57,096
Should I call my travel agent 
or what, huh?

134
00:04:57,096 --> 00:05:01,267
Uh... Yeah. 
Let me, uh, check my schedule.

135
00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:06,839
HUEY: 
 In the past, Granddad has had 
complications with babysitters.

136
00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:09,541
Oh, my God. What should we do? 
Games, hula-hooping, Hot Wheels?

137
00:05:09,541 --> 00:05:12,445
I know. We should make s'mores. 
Tell stories? Hide-and-go-seek?

138
00:05:12,445 --> 00:05:15,180
Can we play cops-and-robbers?

139
00:05:12,445 --> 00:05:15,180
I wouldn't.

140
00:05:15,180 --> 00:05:16,916
Cops-and-robbers? 
Sounds like fun.

141
00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:19,151
[SCREAMING]

142
00:05:19,151 --> 00:05:20,319
Bitch, this all you got?

143
00:05:20,319 --> 00:05:21,988
Three dollars 
and a prepaid cell phone

144
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:25,658
with fucking two minutes on it?

145
00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:27,760
HUEY: 
 That landed us 
on DontSitEm.com.

146
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:30,762
No teenager in the world 
would babysit us now.

147
00:05:30,762 --> 00:05:32,197
Granddad was forced to hire

148
00:05:32,197 --> 00:05:34,400
one of those no-nonsense 
British super nannies.

149
00:05:38,938 --> 00:05:40,606
Which actually worked out,

150
00:05:40,606 --> 00:05:44,076
except Granddad 
set up a nanny cam.

151
00:05:44,076 --> 00:05:46,078
GRANDDAD: 
 This is when 
you used my telephone.

152
00:05:46,078 --> 00:05:47,380
Who the hell 
you got to talk to?

153
00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:48,947
You left the lights on 
in the kitchen.

154
00:05:48,947 --> 00:05:50,549
I don't see nobody there. 
Do you?

155
00:05:50,549 --> 00:05:52,251
Sitting up here, 
watching television,

156
00:05:52,251 --> 00:05:53,485
all the lights on.

157
00:05:53,485 --> 00:05:56,088
Using up all of my electricity, 
eating a sandwich.

158
00:05:56,088 --> 00:05:58,490
I'd like a sandwich myself. 
All my bologna is gone.

159
00:05:58,490 --> 00:06:00,793
What's wrong with you, 
woman?

160
00:06:00,793 --> 00:06:03,229
HUEY: 
 After that, Granddad had 
to be more creative.

161
00:06:03,229 --> 00:06:06,165
Excuse me, uh, my name 
is Positive Brother Hakeem

162
00:06:06,165 --> 00:06:09,068
from Positive Big Black Brothers 
and Sisters of America.

163
00:06:09,068 --> 00:06:11,437
And I understand you have 
two misguided young brothers

164
00:06:11,437 --> 00:06:14,006
who need some positivity.

165
00:06:14,006 --> 00:06:16,275
Yep, bedtime's at 9. 
Have fun.

166
00:06:16,275 --> 00:06:19,111
Local calls only on my phone, 
thank you.

167
00:06:19,111 --> 00:06:21,047
[♪♪♪]

168
00:06:22,147 --> 00:06:23,449
[HUMMING]

169
00:06:23,449 --> 00:06:25,251
[MUFFLED MURMURING]

170
00:06:25,251 --> 00:06:26,719
[GASPS]

171
00:06:26,719 --> 00:06:28,855
[WHIMPERING]

172
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:36,228
[SIGHS]

173
00:06:36,228 --> 00:06:37,829
HUEY: 
Costa Rica for two weeks?

174
00:06:37,829 --> 00:06:39,732
How are we supposed 
to survive for two weeks?

175
00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:40,833
Man, 
what we gonna eat?

176
00:06:40,833 --> 00:06:43,001
Oh, now you worried 
about how you're gonna

177
00:06:43,001 --> 00:06:44,570
make it 
without your Granddaddy.

178
00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:47,139
Y'all should of thought about 
that when y'all fucking up.

179
00:06:47,139 --> 00:06:49,008
It's too late now. 
I may never come back.

180
00:06:49,008 --> 00:06:51,811
[CELL PHONE RINGING]

181
00:06:49,008 --> 00:06:51,811
Shoot, it's Tom.

182
00:06:51,811 --> 00:06:53,412
Y'all can't tell him I left.

183
00:06:51,811 --> 00:06:53,412
Why not?

184
00:06:53,412 --> 00:06:55,081
He wanna go to that 
"do it big" trip too,

185
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,749
but I can't roll 
with a square like Tom,

186
00:06:56,749 --> 00:06:58,450
so I'm gonna go 
and pretend I didn't go,

187
00:06:58,450 --> 00:07:00,252
and take that lie 
with me to the grave.

188
00:07:00,252 --> 00:07:02,221
So don't tell him. 
Say I went to the store.

189
00:07:02,221 --> 00:07:03,922
You went to the store 
for two weeks?

190
00:07:03,922 --> 00:07:05,458
Yes, and don't 
you go snitching.

191
00:07:05,458 --> 00:07:08,060
Well, it's harder to talk 
if my mouth is full.

192
00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:09,328
All right, fine.

193
00:07:09,328 --> 00:07:11,330
I left food money 
in the cabinet above the oven.

194
00:07:11,330 --> 00:07:13,098
That's all you gonna get. 
So make it last.

195
00:07:13,098 --> 00:07:14,233
Hey there, Robert,

196
00:07:14,233 --> 00:07:16,636
I'd offer to help you, 
but you're a coon.

197
00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:18,404
What's he doing here?

198
00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:18,404
He's your sitter.

199
00:07:18,404 --> 00:07:20,873
Granddad, me and Riley 
don't need no babysitter.

200
00:07:20,873 --> 00:07:22,174
We can take care 
of ourselves.

201
00:07:22,174 --> 00:07:24,676
Yeah, not like we gonna 
try to kill each other.

202
00:07:24,676 --> 00:07:28,080
Shut up. Do what Ruckus says 
and don't mess up my house.

203
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:30,849
He don't even like black people.

204
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:30,849
Man, this punk fool right here.

205
00:07:30,849 --> 00:07:32,751
Okay, first of all, 
ain't nobody talking

206
00:07:32,751 --> 00:07:35,254
while I'm talking, 
so shut the fuck up.

207
00:07:35,254 --> 00:07:38,290
My name is Uncle Ruckus, 
and I will be nigger-sitting

208
00:07:38,290 --> 00:07:41,193
you two until your 
grandfather returns.

209
00:07:41,193 --> 00:07:42,561
Your granddaddy picked me

210
00:07:42,561 --> 00:07:44,630
because 
I am a licensed zoologist.

211
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:47,366
I have studied 
a variety of wild animals,

212
00:07:47,366 --> 00:07:51,904
and the African male is by far 
the most savagely cunning.

213
00:07:51,904 --> 00:07:54,540
This is an opportunity 
to observe you niggers

214
00:07:54,540 --> 00:07:56,942
in your natural habitat 
and collect data.

215
00:07:56,942 --> 00:07:59,478
But be warned, 
whatever nigger trickery

216
00:07:59,478 --> 00:08:03,015
you got up your sleeves 
does not effect me.

217
00:08:03,015 --> 00:08:05,651
WOMAN [OVER PA]: 
 Please do not look Muslim 
at the airport.

218
00:08:08,254 --> 00:08:10,989
Hijacking is against the law.

219
00:08:10,989 --> 00:08:12,625
Damn, 
I hate airports.

220
00:08:12,625 --> 00:08:13,826
This is all for show.

221
00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:17,630
Shoot, I bet you I could 
sneak a midget on the plane

222
00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:19,298
with a stick of dynamite 
up his ass.

223
00:08:19,298 --> 00:08:20,966
Do not say "bomb" 
at the airport.

224
00:08:20,966 --> 00:08:22,602
Oh, hurry up. 
I'm trying to do it big.

225
00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:25,170
Damn.

226
00:08:25,170 --> 00:08:28,073
Boarding pass and ID.

227
00:08:28,073 --> 00:08:30,476
Due to a heightened level 
of security,

228
00:08:30,476 --> 00:08:34,580
no colored liquid or people 
are allowed to board a plane.

229
00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:43,288
Please do not bring AK-47s 
onto the plane.

230
00:08:43,288 --> 00:08:44,856
Boarding pass and ID.

231
00:08:44,856 --> 00:08:46,125
I've already showed it to her.

232
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:48,294
Sir, I need to see 
your boarding pass and ID.

233
00:08:48,294 --> 00:08:49,962
But I just showed it to her.

234
00:08:49,962 --> 00:08:52,331
I need to see it 
as well, sir.

235
00:08:52,331 --> 00:08:54,734
But I just showed it to her, 
then I walked straight to you.

236
00:08:54,734 --> 00:08:56,301
Sir, I don't have time for this.

237
00:08:56,301 --> 00:08:58,937
It's 'bout time for my break 
and you are stepping on my time.

238
00:08:58,937 --> 00:09:00,138
You don't have time? Shit.

239
00:09:00,138 --> 00:09:01,540
I'm the one 
with a plane to catch.

240
00:09:01,540 --> 00:09:02,975
I don't wanna 
show my ID again.

241
00:09:02,975 --> 00:09:05,777
The only thing I did was put 
my boarding pass and ID away

242
00:09:05,777 --> 00:09:07,913
which is why I don't 
wanna get it out again.

243
00:09:07,913 --> 00:09:09,448
Doesn't that makes sense?

244
00:09:09,448 --> 00:09:12,018
I didn't become a different 
person in the last five feet!

245
00:09:13,919 --> 00:09:17,156
Mm-hm. We got a problem here. 
Requesting backup.

246
00:09:17,156 --> 00:09:18,491
Okay. Okay, fine. Damn.

247
00:09:24,830 --> 00:09:27,033
I hate damn airports!

248
00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:32,871
Boarding pass and ID.

249
00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:32,871
[SCREAMS]

250
00:09:32,871 --> 00:09:34,439
The first time 
you break the rules,

251
00:09:34,439 --> 00:09:35,574
you get the cattle prod.

252
00:09:35,574 --> 00:09:39,077
The second, you get 
the electric dog collar.

253
00:09:39,077 --> 00:09:42,248
The third time, 
I'm calling up the lynching mob.

254
00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:46,952
Yeah. Yeah.

255
00:09:46,952 --> 00:09:48,821
Player, player. 
Get to the clubs.

256
00:09:48,821 --> 00:09:50,122
Get the little pretty girls.

257
00:09:50,122 --> 00:09:52,691
Let them all kiss 
all over me, and...

258
00:09:52,691 --> 00:09:55,294
[SNORING]

259
00:09:58,697 --> 00:10:00,166
[♪♪♪]

260
00:10:03,135 --> 00:10:04,236
[COCKS]

261
00:10:12,344 --> 00:10:13,613
What the--?

262
00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:17,483
[BB SHOTS]

263
00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:17,483
RUCKUS: Ow!

264
00:10:18,884 --> 00:10:20,920
My ball sack, my ball sack! 
Ah!

265
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:22,254
Somebody help! Ah!

266
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:26,025
Somebody, anybody,

267
00:10:26,025 --> 00:10:29,361
save me from these 
African hooligans!

268
00:10:29,361 --> 00:10:30,429
Oh, oh.

269
00:10:30,429 --> 00:10:31,429
Oh, Lord.

270
00:10:31,429 --> 00:10:33,599
Oh, please, Jesus. 
Oh, Lord. Wha--?

271
00:10:33,599 --> 00:10:35,334
[BB SHOTS, RUCKUS SCREAMING]

272
00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:37,602
Oh, Lord! 
Why has thou forsaken me?

273
00:10:37,602 --> 00:10:38,671
[CHUCKLES]

274
00:10:38,671 --> 00:10:40,473
Yeah-heh-heh-heh-heh.

275
00:10:44,910 --> 00:10:46,846
[♪♪♪]

276
00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:49,047
♪ Haters say, "ha" ♪

277
00:10:49,047 --> 00:10:50,516
♪ Haters say, "what?" ♪

278
00:10:50,516 --> 00:10:51,883
♪ 'Cause if you hate on me... ♪

279
00:10:51,883 --> 00:10:53,285
This place is nasty, 
clean it up.

280
00:10:53,285 --> 00:10:54,653
You ain't 
the boss of me, nigga.

281
00:10:54,653 --> 00:10:56,522
Hey. While Granddad's gone, 
I'm in charge.

282
00:10:56,522 --> 00:10:57,856
Why do you get 
to be in charge?

283
00:10:57,856 --> 00:11:00,126
Why can't we take turns?

284
00:10:57,856 --> 00:11:00,126
'Cause I'm the oldest.

285
00:11:00,126 --> 00:11:01,693
Yeah? 
Well, you're also the gayest.

286
00:11:01,693 --> 00:11:03,128
So I think 
I should be in charge.

287
00:11:03,128 --> 00:11:05,297
[DOORBELL DINGS]

288
00:11:03,128 --> 00:11:05,297
Man, clean it up now.

289
00:11:05,297 --> 00:11:06,732
You clean it up, bitch.

290
00:11:09,301 --> 00:11:11,069
Hey there, Huey, 
is your grandfather in?

291
00:11:11,069 --> 00:11:13,238
I need to talk to him. 
We're planning a trip.

292
00:11:13,238 --> 00:11:15,307
He had to run out and get 
some things, Mr. DuBois.

293
00:11:15,307 --> 00:11:17,709
He say when he's gonna be back?

294
00:11:15,307 --> 00:11:17,709
Try his cell, Mr. DuBois.

295
00:11:17,709 --> 00:11:18,878
Oh, okay.

296
00:11:23,315 --> 00:11:25,183
Well, heh-heh-heh, 
it's just that--

297
00:11:25,183 --> 00:11:26,184
Well, his, um--

298
00:11:26,184 --> 00:11:27,185
[CLEARS THROAT]

299
00:11:27,185 --> 00:11:29,321
His car is right there, 
and, um...

300
00:11:29,321 --> 00:11:31,589
It won't start. 
He took a cab, Mr. DuBois.

301
00:11:31,589 --> 00:11:33,325
Oh.

302
00:11:33,325 --> 00:11:34,527
Okay.

303
00:11:36,729 --> 00:11:38,464
Riley. Riley, 
I'm going to the store.

304
00:11:38,464 --> 00:11:39,965
Figure out 
what you wanna eat.

305
00:11:42,067 --> 00:11:43,202
The money.

306
00:11:46,338 --> 00:11:47,339
What up?

307
00:11:47,339 --> 00:11:49,742
[♪♪♪]

308
00:11:49,742 --> 00:11:51,776
What the--?

309
00:11:49,742 --> 00:11:51,776
Now, before you start hating,

310
00:11:51,776 --> 00:11:54,046
ask yourself-- Be honest.

311
00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:55,213
--ain't I clean now?

312
00:11:55,213 --> 00:11:56,247
Man, how we gonna eat?

313
00:11:56,247 --> 00:11:58,550
I don't know, nigga, 
you in charge.

314
00:11:58,550 --> 00:12:00,853
HUEY: Take it off.

315
00:11:58,550 --> 00:12:00,853
Hey, raise up off my gear.

316
00:12:03,888 --> 00:12:05,991
[♪♪♪]

317
00:12:05,991 --> 00:12:09,527
RILEY: 
I'm saying, you ain't have 
to ruin my shirt like that.

318
00:12:09,527 --> 00:12:11,630
I can't even pop 
my collar no more.

319
00:12:11,630 --> 00:12:14,199
I gotta figure out 
what we're gonna eat.

320
00:12:14,199 --> 00:12:17,168
Can't you just be happy to see 
another nigger fitted up,

321
00:12:17,168 --> 00:12:19,371
looking dipped in butter, 
shining and glistening?

322
00:12:19,371 --> 00:12:21,540
We're gonna run out of food 
in a few days.

323
00:12:21,540 --> 00:12:24,309
You supposed to be in charge. 
You supposed to be the leader.

324
00:12:24,309 --> 00:12:27,579
Lead us to some breakfast then, 
nigger. Nigger-- What?

325
00:12:27,579 --> 00:12:29,114
What, you want some, 
nigger? Huh?

326
00:12:29,114 --> 00:12:31,549
All right, come on, nigger. 
Let's go. I been waiting.

327
00:12:31,549 --> 00:12:33,952
No. I'm not gonna fight you. 
I'm grounding you.

328
00:12:33,952 --> 00:12:36,188
Ground me? 
What is this, Family Ties?

329
00:12:36,188 --> 00:12:37,823
Nigger, 
you can't ground me.

330
00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:40,559
I just did. 
Don't leave the house.

331
00:12:42,995 --> 00:12:44,730
This nigger must have lost it.

332
00:12:44,730 --> 00:12:47,166
I wanna know what this nigger 
been smoking. Shoot.

333
00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:49,368
Talking about I'm grounded.

334
00:12:49,368 --> 00:12:52,537
I'm Young Reezy. 
I goes where I wanna go.

335
00:12:52,537 --> 00:12:53,873
[♪♪♪]

336
00:12:56,374 --> 00:12:57,309
You're grounded.

337
00:12:59,011 --> 00:13:01,947
You better have eyes in the back 
of your head, nigga.

338
00:13:04,549 --> 00:13:06,685
[♪♪♪]

339
00:13:08,554 --> 00:13:10,922
Huey, where my guns?

340
00:13:08,554 --> 00:13:10,922
I confiscated them for security.

341
00:13:10,922 --> 00:13:12,624
I have supreme authority 
over the house

342
00:13:12,624 --> 00:13:14,426
until Granddad comes back.

343
00:13:14,426 --> 00:13:16,896
You have supreme authority 
over these nuts. I'm leaving.

344
00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:18,864
You wanna stop me, 
you gonna have to shoot me--

345
00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:19,799
[YELPS]

346
00:13:22,501 --> 00:13:23,869
Cristal costs how much?

347
00:13:23,869 --> 00:13:25,537
Oh, no, no. 
You got any Thunderbird?

348
00:13:25,537 --> 00:13:27,006
I'll take Thunderbird.

349
00:13:27,006 --> 00:13:28,940
Oh, excuse you, little lady.

350
00:13:28,940 --> 00:13:32,244
Hey! That's my suit you just-- 
Went in my personal space.

351
00:13:32,244 --> 00:13:34,680
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

352
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:36,882
Hey there, Huey. 
Just me again. Ha, ha.

353
00:13:36,882 --> 00:13:39,118
Is, um, your Granddad around?

354
00:13:39,118 --> 00:13:40,886
He's still at the store, 
Mr. DuBois.

355
00:13:40,886 --> 00:13:43,221
Still?

356
00:13:43,221 --> 00:13:45,391
Uh-huh? Oh, really?

357
00:13:45,391 --> 00:13:48,827
Okay. 
I guess I'll just, um...

358
00:13:48,827 --> 00:13:49,995
Yeah.

359
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:51,597
[CROWD CHATTERING 
INDISTINCTLY]

360
00:13:51,597 --> 00:13:55,500
MAN: 
Man, I'm having 
the best time ever.

361
00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:59,638
Look at all 
the Spanish women.

362
00:13:59,638 --> 00:14:03,108
HUEY: 
 Riley made several more 
attempts to leave the house.

363
00:14:03,108 --> 00:14:05,511
Okay. 
All right, here we go.

364
00:14:06,378 --> 00:14:07,545
[♪♪♪]

365
00:14:07,545 --> 00:14:09,882
What? Hey, hey, hey. 
Quit playing, nigga.

366
00:14:09,882 --> 00:14:12,818
Huey. Huey, quit playing. 
Quit it. Huey.

367
00:14:16,054 --> 00:14:19,158
Eventually, he had 
to be forcibly restrained.

368
00:14:24,496 --> 00:14:25,431
Hey.

369
00:14:27,065 --> 00:14:29,001
[♪♪♪]

370
00:14:33,272 --> 00:14:36,342
I had no idea how we were gonna 
last until Granddad came home.

371
00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:37,843
Assuming he ever came 
back at all.

372
00:14:40,078 --> 00:14:42,414
He's probably having 
the time of his life.

373
00:14:42,414 --> 00:14:45,617
MAN: 
Oh, my God-- Oh, no. 
Don't take your top off.

374
00:14:45,617 --> 00:14:47,086
[MAN CHEERING]

375
00:14:50,989 --> 00:14:53,425
HUEY: 
 We ran out of food and drink.

376
00:14:53,425 --> 00:14:56,027
I was forced to start rationing 
what little we had left.

377
00:14:56,027 --> 00:14:57,396
More and more,

378
00:14:57,396 --> 00:15:00,165
I started to hate Riley 
for driving Granddad away.

379
00:15:01,867 --> 00:15:05,670
MAN: 
Get outta here. Go next door-- 
Psych. Come on in.

380
00:15:05,670 --> 00:15:07,806
Oh, it'll be great. 
The more the merrier.

381
00:15:07,806 --> 00:15:09,341
HUEY: 
 He was always watching.

382
00:15:09,341 --> 00:15:11,376
Always waiting 
for me to make a mistake.

383
00:15:11,376 --> 00:15:14,379
I rarely slept.

384
00:15:14,379 --> 00:15:17,516
MAN: 
Man, more women?

385
00:15:17,516 --> 00:15:18,684
[GIRLS GIGGLING]

386
00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:20,719
[SCREAMING]

387
00:15:35,633 --> 00:15:38,504
HUEY: 
 I soon forgot which one 
of us was the prisoner.

388
00:15:41,673 --> 00:15:43,442
[GRUNTING]

389
00:15:45,510 --> 00:15:47,779
MAN: 
More bitches. 
Hey, call me Mr. Bitches.

390
00:15:47,779 --> 00:15:50,215
[MAN LAUGHS]

391
00:15:53,218 --> 00:15:56,087
[PHONE RINGING]

392
00:15:56,087 --> 00:15:58,089
Hello?

393
00:15:56,087 --> 00:15:58,089
Hey, boy.

394
00:15:58,089 --> 00:16:00,392
Hey, Granddad. 
Uh, how's the trip?

395
00:16:00,392 --> 00:16:01,727
You ready to come home?

396
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:03,495
Are you kidding? 
I'm having a great time.

397
00:16:03,495 --> 00:16:04,563
Whoo! Heh-heh-heh.

398
00:16:04,563 --> 00:16:06,131
Hey, little girl, 
stop tickling me.

399
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:07,432
I'm talking to my grandson.

400
00:16:07,432 --> 00:16:09,701
Doing it big. 
So how's the house?

401
00:16:09,701 --> 00:16:12,103
Great. 
We're fine, no problems.

402
00:16:12,103 --> 00:16:14,206
Okay, 
guess there's no need of me

403
00:16:14,206 --> 00:16:15,807
rushing home early 
or anything, huh?

404
00:16:15,807 --> 00:16:18,376
Which is great for me, 
'cause I'm doing it big.

405
00:16:18,376 --> 00:16:21,012
So, what's new? 
What you mad at this week?

406
00:16:21,012 --> 00:16:22,514
Hey, uh, Granddad, 
I gotta go.

407
00:16:22,514 --> 00:16:24,282
MAN: 
Wait, what's Spanish 
for breasts?

408
00:16:24,282 --> 00:16:26,185
[SIGHS]

409
00:16:24,282 --> 00:16:26,185
[MAN LAUGHS]

410
00:16:26,185 --> 00:16:27,419
[CRASHING]

411
00:16:27,419 --> 00:16:28,787
[RILEY WHINING]

412
00:16:31,556 --> 00:16:33,258
You going in the closet.

413
00:16:31,556 --> 00:16:33,258
Let me go!

414
00:16:33,258 --> 00:16:36,028
Hey! Hey, man, 
let me out of here.

415
00:16:36,028 --> 00:16:38,964
Hey! I'm closet-phobic.

416
00:16:39,664 --> 00:16:40,599
[GRUNTS]

417
00:16:48,407 --> 00:16:49,608
[DOORBELL DINGING]

418
00:16:49,608 --> 00:16:50,642
I know where he is.

419
00:16:50,642 --> 00:16:51,810
I'm not stupid.

420
00:16:51,810 --> 00:16:53,612
He went on the 
"do it big" trip without me.

421
00:16:53,612 --> 00:16:55,514
He's off having 
the time of his life.

422
00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:57,549
Granddad is running errands, 
Mr. DuBois.

423
00:16:57,549 --> 00:16:59,484
Barring an unforeseen 
catastrophe,

424
00:16:59,484 --> 00:17:00,786
he'll be home soon.

425
00:17:00,786 --> 00:17:03,522
He better, 'cause I'm angry.

426
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:05,557
You ready to come out?

427
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:08,359
♪ Oh ♪

428
00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:10,361
[♪♪♪]

429
00:17:10,361 --> 00:17:11,296
The gun--

430
00:17:22,340 --> 00:17:24,476
Say hello to the bad guy.

431
00:17:24,476 --> 00:17:26,011
[RILEY CACKLES]

432
00:17:27,245 --> 00:17:29,380
Damn you, Riley. 
You've ruined our family.

433
00:17:29,380 --> 00:17:31,950
You drove Granddad away. 
Now he's never coming back.

434
00:17:31,950 --> 00:17:33,485
Granddad left 'cause of you.

435
00:17:33,485 --> 00:17:34,752
Nobody likes you, Huey,

436
00:17:34,752 --> 00:17:38,056
'cause you a gay-ass, 
hater, faggy boy.

437
00:17:38,056 --> 00:17:39,457
[RILEY CACKLES]

438
00:17:39,457 --> 00:17:40,392
[BB SHOTS]

439
00:17:47,332 --> 00:17:48,934
[YELLING, GRUNTING]

440
00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:53,972
Okay, I'm reloaded!

441
00:17:53,972 --> 00:17:55,340
[RILEY CACKLES]

442
00:17:58,476 --> 00:18:00,279
How you like that, fool?

443
00:18:02,647 --> 00:18:03,582
[YELLS]

444
00:18:05,617 --> 00:18:06,818
♪ Hey ♪

445
00:18:06,818 --> 00:18:08,186
♪ Hey ♪

446
00:18:08,186 --> 00:18:09,588
♪ Hey ♪

447
00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:10,822
♪ Hey ♪

448
00:18:10,822 --> 00:18:11,990
♪ Hey ♪

449
00:18:11,990 --> 00:18:13,592
♪ Hey ♪

450
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:16,295
♪ Hey ♪

451
00:18:16,295 --> 00:18:19,263
Why does it always have 
to end up like this?

452
00:18:19,263 --> 00:18:21,366
'Cause you's a bitch.

453
00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:24,703
Don't do it.

454
00:18:24,703 --> 00:18:25,837
♪ Hey ♪

455
00:18:25,837 --> 00:18:28,006
[BOTH GRUNT]

456
00:18:28,006 --> 00:18:29,441
[BIRDS CHIRPING]

457
00:18:32,110 --> 00:18:33,545
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

458
00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:35,948
[BRAKES SCREECH]

459
00:18:38,683 --> 00:18:39,985
[SIGHS]

460
00:18:39,985 --> 00:18:42,887
Thank you, Jesus.

461
00:18:42,887 --> 00:18:44,957
Robert!

462
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:48,560
Why? What did I do? I'm fun!

463
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,228
Why does everyone think 
I'm not fun?

464
00:18:50,228 --> 00:18:52,196
Why am I always 
the one getting ditched?

465
00:18:52,196 --> 00:18:53,931
[SOBBING]

466
00:18:53,931 --> 00:18:55,701
I don't know 
why I'm not cool.

467
00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:57,969
Tom, you think I went 
all the way to Costa Rica

468
00:18:57,969 --> 00:18:59,103
and back in two days?

469
00:18:59,103 --> 00:19:01,039
Then w-where were you?

470
00:19:01,039 --> 00:19:02,340
None of your damn business.

471
00:19:02,340 --> 00:19:04,542
We'll do the "do it big" trip 
some other time.

472
00:19:04,542 --> 00:19:07,145
Oh, okay. Ahem. Cool.

473
00:19:07,145 --> 00:19:08,212
[CHUCKLES]

474
00:19:08,212 --> 00:19:10,215
Oh, by the way, Robert, 
I, um--

475
00:19:10,215 --> 00:19:12,083
I left some, 
um, joke voicemails

476
00:19:12,083 --> 00:19:14,219
that you can just, um-- 
Heh.

477
00:19:14,219 --> 00:19:16,188
--go ahead and delete. Ha, ha.

478
00:19:21,659 --> 00:19:24,897
[BOTH GROANING]

479
00:19:21,659 --> 00:19:24,897
Boys!

480
00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:26,798
Granddad!

481
00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:26,798
Granddad.

482
00:19:26,798 --> 00:19:29,567
Heh-heh-heh, hey! 
Give me a hug.

483
00:19:29,567 --> 00:19:31,069
You came home.

484
00:19:29,567 --> 00:19:31,069
You home early.

485
00:19:31,069 --> 00:19:34,239
'Cause I figured y'all was 
destroying my house. Hm.

486
00:19:36,774 --> 00:19:37,743
Doesn't look too bad.

487
00:19:39,044 --> 00:19:40,244
[DOOR SHUTS]

488
00:19:40,244 --> 00:19:41,546
How was Costa Rica?

489
00:19:41,546 --> 00:19:42,847
Did you do it big?

490
00:19:42,847 --> 00:19:44,949
[CHUCKLES]

491
00:19:44,949 --> 00:19:48,453
Shoot, you betcha. 
Mr. Bitches is back in effect.

492
00:19:48,453 --> 00:19:50,522
Heh-heh. Uh, you-- 
You should have seen it.

493
00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:52,490
Phew.

494
00:19:52,490 --> 00:19:54,626
They couldn't handle it.

495
00:19:54,626 --> 00:19:56,195
It sure is good 
to be home, though.

496
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:02,333
Let's clean this up.

497
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:02,333
All right.

498
00:20:02,333 --> 00:20:04,436
GRANDDAD [ON MACHINE]: 
 You've reached Robert--

499
00:20:04,436 --> 00:20:06,004
WOMAN: 
 Please enter your password.

500
00:20:06,004 --> 00:20:08,239
You have 22 unheard messages. 
First message:

501
00:20:08,239 --> 00:20:11,009
RUCKUS: 
 Robert. Them little niggers 
are evil. It was terrible.

502
00:20:11,009 --> 00:20:12,510
Oh, all the things 
that they done--

503
00:20:12,510 --> 00:20:13,545
WOMAN: 
 Deleted.

504
00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:16,881
TOM: 
 Hey, Robert. This is Tom.

505
00:20:16,881 --> 00:20:20,185
Found out some great stuff 
about Costa Rica. Ha, ha.

506
00:20:20,185 --> 00:20:21,286
Call me back.

507
00:20:21,286 --> 00:20:22,721
WOMAN: 
 Deleted.

508
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:25,656
TOM: 
 Robert, it's Big Tom. 
Holler back!

509
00:20:25,656 --> 00:20:27,025
Heh-heh-heh. Time to--

510
00:20:27,025 --> 00:20:28,226
WOMAN: 
 Deleted.

511
00:20:28,226 --> 00:20:29,827
TOM: Hey, Robert--

512
00:20:28,226 --> 00:20:29,827
WOMAN: Deleted.

513
00:20:29,827 --> 00:20:31,997
TOM: 
 What the hell, Robert? 
Did you go without me?

514
00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:33,898
You went without me. 
I know you went. You did.

515
00:20:33,898 --> 00:20:35,800
You did not go without me--

516
00:20:33,898 --> 00:20:35,800
WOMAN: Deleted.

517
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,169
TOM: 
 That's real nice, Robert. 
That's real fucking--

518
00:20:38,169 --> 00:20:39,270
WOMAN: 
 Deleted.

519
00:20:39,270 --> 00:20:41,206
[♪♪♪]