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In the celebrity
criminal justice system,
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there are the so-called
"musicians" who commit crimes
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and the overpaid private defense
attorneys who defend them.
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This is one of their stories.
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Just finished up with the clerk.
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He's shook up but okay.
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Said the guy just flipped out, started
dancing like Michael Jackson,
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then showed a gun and robbed the place.
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Perp was a black male,
around 19, really sexy...
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Sexy?
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Exactly how sexy?
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Dimples, "honey brown" complexion,
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chiseled abs, extra shiny
chap-sticked lips...
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Damn, that is sexy.
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There's only one 19-year-old black
male that matches that sexy profile.
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- Pretty boy Flizzy.
- Never heard of him.
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Um, only the hottest
up-and-coming R&B star!
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You've heard of his
songs, "Titty telethon"?
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"Pleasure me orally"?
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"Don't touch my anus, girl"?
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- How would I have heard this?
- Okay, I know you've heard "you make me wanna unh!"
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All day long on the radio,
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that's all I hear,
even on the white stations.
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No, I haven't heard
"you make me wanna unh!"
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That's disgusting.
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Eh, it's not my thing, but it's
what passes for R&B now, all right?
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What can I say? I got teenage daughters.
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They're into black guys, so
this is what I got to hear.
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What happened to the good old days
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when black singers would
dress in high-heel boots
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or burn hookers with crack pipes?
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You're showing your age, my friend.
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Flizzy's in town, doing a show at
Woodcrest post pavilion tonight.
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I was hoping to go. Now I have an excuse.
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♪ You make me wanna unh
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♪ Like we havin' sex
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♪ Baby, grab your ankles
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♪ You know what's next
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♪ I am the stone that the builder refused
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♪ I am the visual, the inspiration
that made lady sing the blues
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♪ I'm the spark that makes your idea bright
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♪ The same spark that lights the dark
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♪ So that you can know
your left from your right
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♪ I am the ballot in your
box, the bullet in the gun
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♪ The inner glow that let's you
know to call your brother son
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♪ The story that just begun
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♪ The promise of what's to come
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♪ And I'ma remain a soldier
till the war is won
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♪ Chop, chop, chop
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♪ Judo flip Chop, chop, chop
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♪ Judo flip Chop, chop, chop
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♪ Judo flip Chop, chop, chop ♪
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The Boondocks S04E01
Pretty Boy Flizzy
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Granddad, what we got to eat?
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- Rent!
- I'm hungry!
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Then have sleep for dinner!
You can eat tomorrow.
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You're getting fat anyway!
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The security-camera
footage you're watching
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is allegedly of R&B
superstar Pretty Boy Flizzy
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holding up a liquor store in Woodcrest.
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While it is difficult to clearly
see the suspect's face,
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authorities say his
sexiness is an exact match.
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This isn't Flizzy's first
run-in with the law.
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Last year, he received
four months' probation
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after beating his
then-girlfriend Christianna
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live onstage during the Grammys.
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I'd just like to apologize to all my fans
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for beating my hot R&B girlfriend.
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I let my fans down.
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Without you, I wouldn't even
have an R&B girlfriend to beat.
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A year before that, Flizzy
received a two-year suspended
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sentence for smuggling automatic
weapons from Nicaraguan rebels.
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I'd just like to apologize to all my fans
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for smuggling automatic weapons
from South American death squads.
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I make no excuses, other than
it was a really good deal
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and they were throwing in
a lot of free ammunition.
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Six months ago, Flizzy was
arrested for fighting in the.
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V.I.P. section of a
nightclub with Nicki Minaj.
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I'd just like to apologize to all my fans,
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for fighting in the V.I.P.
section with Nicki Minaj.
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In my defense, I thought she was a
robot sent from the future to kill me.
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Woodcrest tea party chairman Uncle Ruckus
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staged a small protest at the venue today.
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Who keeps giving these high-yellow
felons record contracts?
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Oh, oh, it's just a record you say!
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Well, white folks, you won't be saying that
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when the nigga that sings on that record
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comes to town and impregnates all the
white women of child-rearing age!
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And that is exactly what he plans to do!
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Just think of all the government money
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and food stamps that them little
mixed-race quadroon nigga
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children will be consuming!
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And they consume a whole lot
more than regular children
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'cause they eatin' for two races!
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Others felt differently.
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I don't care what anyone says.
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Flizzy can whoop my ass anytime!
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Come on! Beat it up, Fleezy!
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Whoo!
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Turn that down. Now listen, listen. Shh!
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I'm tired of it! It's boring!
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- It's boring me to death!
- Sarah, please calm down!
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I said, I apologize!
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There you go again.
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- You're doing it again!
- Doing what?
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- Apologizing!
- You don't want me to apologize?
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No, I don't!
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Okay, I'm sorry I'm apologizing.
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- You did it again!
- Sarah, calm down!
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I'm sorry. Shit.
I'm sorry! Shit.
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Jesus, I can't stop!
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Oh, I swear to god, Tom, if you
apologize again, you are out of here!
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I'm...
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Mmm. Okay.
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Then just tell me what to do.
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That's the problem, Tom! I don't
want to tell you what to do!
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I want you to do what I want you
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to do but because you want to do it!
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What? But why not just tell me?
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Because! No woman wakes up and says,
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"Gee, I hope my man does
everything I tell him to today."
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You're the man, Tom!
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Sometimes I want you to dominate!
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Take control! If I'm out of line,
put me in check!
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Sure, honey. Whatever you say.
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- Argh! Tom!
- Fine!
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I hear you!
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From now on, I'll take control,
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and I won't apologize anymore.
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Except, wait. You wanted
me to stop apologizing,
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so I'm supposed to do the
opposite of that. Right?
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Yeah, so then I guess I will apologize,
then... If that's all right with you.
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Sorry?
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Get out.
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- Now, honey, don't do...
- Get out!
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Ow!
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- Aw, man, here he come!
- Riley, hit the lights!
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Mmm-hmm.
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Huey, electronics! Enough is enough.
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I'm tired of that henpecked simp
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coming over here every
time she throws him out,
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screaming like a little bitch.
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This time, he can sleep in the yard.
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While it is difficult
to clearly see the suspect's face,
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Please.
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It's toilet paper and a pop-tart.
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Hey, don't tell my granddad about this.
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We not supposed to feed you.
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♪ I'm guapped up, crazy doe
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♪ I'm guapped up, crazy hoes
♪ I'm guapped up, crazy doe
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I really don't think it's prudent
to record an attorney meeting.
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I'm not recording. This is a live stream.
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What's up? Y'all know who it is...
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Pretty beezy flee-yeezey-weezy, you know?
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I appreciate all the love and
support y'all been sending me
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since the whole incident went down.
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Never fear. Got big lawyers on the case.
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Say what's up to Tom Dubois.
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Flizzy, I'm gonna have to ask
you to turn it off, now.
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Kill the camera, B.
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I also think these people should leave.
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"These people?"
Fuck you mean, "these people"?
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- I mean these people.
- You mean my people, nigga!
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These my people.
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Anything you can say to me you
can say in front of them.
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If anything, nigga, you the stranger here.
You should leave the room.
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It's my office.
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Okay, then,
so what's the big fucking secret
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that you can't tell me in front of
my fans and my people?
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Matter of fact, why am I even here?
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You wanted to talk to me
about your criminal case.
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Oh, that's right!
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I reviewed the case,
and I've watched the security footage.
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Cool. So, what do you think?
Can you get me off?
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Did you rob the liquor store, Flizzy?
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I can't say that... I did it,
but, honestly, really can't say
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f'sho one way or the other.
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And why can't you say "f'sho"?
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I was fucked up!
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And how about these...
How about your entourage?
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- Do they know anything?
- They was fucked up, too!
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Hey, man, when we go out, we go hard.
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You don't understand how
complicated it is being me.
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- I say shit all the time I didn't even know I said.
- How?
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'Cause I got like 18 people
tweeting for me at one time.
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And we're all fucked up!
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So, like, I look at the tape
and I say, "is it me, or is it me"
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"or the someone I just paid to rob a liquor
store who looks just like me?"
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I don't know.
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Okay, I want you to know up front
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that I have serious issues with
some of your behavior in the past,
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- especially hitting a woman.
- B... but wait.
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I knew you was gonna say that.
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- Can I tell you my side of it, though?
- No, I don't...
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- Can I tell you my side of it, though?
- No, Flizzy, there's no excuse for...
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Can I tell you my side of it though?
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Fine! What?
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Man, I was fucked up!
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Soon as I got arrested, I said,
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"I want the dude that got R. Kelly off."
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Well, I prosecuted R. Kelly, and I...
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Never mind. My answer
is almost certainly no,
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but... I'll think about it.
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If I do take the case, my retainer is...
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My retainer is...
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Please stop throwing money at me.
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Things a bitch will never say.
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Hey, that's a song!
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A'ight, pimpin', I'm-a see you tomorrow.
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That singer
pretty boy Flizzy came in today.
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Pretty boy Flizzy? Are you serious?
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He's hiring you to defend him
for the liquor-store thing?
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- Tom, that's huge!
- Don't get too excited.
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- I'm not taking the case.
- Why not?
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I don't want to defend a
woman-beater, for one.
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He made a little tiny mistake.
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I guess hitting a woman is okay
if you have abs, is that it?
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He's a talented artist.
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Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay.
Slow down.
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"Fluid swap"?
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"Rub against my erection"?
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"You make me wanna unh"?
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I love "you make me wanna unh!"
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Oh, do you think you could get him
to sing at Jazmine's birthday?
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No! Do you let her listen to that?
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Our problems have been rough on her.
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It would be nice to, you know...
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What?
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Don't you think I know
what's going on here?
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- What?
- This isn't about Jazmine.
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You want to meet pretty boy Flizzy.
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No, Jazmine wants
to meet pretty boy Flizzy.
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No, you want me
to defend pretty boy Flizzy
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because you want to meet him and do him!
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- What?
- Yeah! Yeah! You do!
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You want to go unh on him!
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You want to unh on him all night!
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I can't believe how insecure you are!
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Listen to yourself.
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He's like your perfect man!
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He won't even say sorry
when he pounds your face in!
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Wait.
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Wait.
244
00:10:05,515 --> 00:10:06,715
He's not coming this way.
245
00:10:07,139 --> 00:10:09,207
He's getting in his car.
246
00:10:12,513 --> 00:10:15,746
You're a selfish bastard, Robert Freeman!
247
00:10:23,627 --> 00:10:25,640
I just don't think it's
gonna work out, Flizzy.
248
00:10:25,664 --> 00:10:26,765
Why not?
249
00:10:26,999 --> 00:10:28,476
Well, it's not you. It's me.
250
00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:30,446
I'm just dealing with
some personal problems.
251
00:10:30,470 --> 00:10:32,014
Hey, suck that shit up, my dude!
252
00:10:32,038 --> 00:10:33,482
Come on, Tom! You know what?
253
00:10:33,506 --> 00:10:35,452
Right now, we're both letting
the haters get us down.
254
00:10:35,476 --> 00:10:37,696
We got to shake the haters.
Do this for me, Tom.
255
00:10:37,711 --> 00:10:42,713
Come on. Shake those haters. I'm hate-free,
but I can still feel the hate on you.
256
00:10:43,051 --> 00:10:45,119
Mmm. Feels good, doesn't it?
257
00:10:45,122 --> 00:10:47,722
Okay, so... Now will you take the case?
258
00:10:47,791 --> 00:10:49,692
- No.
- Okay, fine.
259
00:10:49,994 --> 00:10:51,972
If you can't take the case,
you can't take the case.
260
00:10:51,996 --> 00:10:55,130
It just seems like me...
Sexy, buff alpha male.
261
00:10:55,201 --> 00:10:57,480
And you, kindhearted but frumpy everyman.
262
00:10:57,504 --> 00:10:59,450
Could somehow be able to help each other.
263
00:10:59,474 --> 00:11:01,707
Am I a frumpy everyman?
264
00:11:01,942 --> 00:11:04,876
Is that it? Is that why
she's lost interest?
265
00:11:04,890 --> 00:11:05,890
Of course.
266
00:11:06,014 --> 00:11:08,682
You're dull as fuck, Tom!
You dress like shit.
267
00:11:08,719 --> 00:11:10,262
Your hair looks like shit.
268
00:11:10,286 --> 00:11:13,800
You got no flash, no swag,
no thin veneer of toughness.
269
00:11:13,824 --> 00:11:16,738
Of course your wife left you and
is doing it to some random guy.
270
00:11:16,762 --> 00:11:18,174
That's not what I said happened.
271
00:11:18,198 --> 00:11:19,542
So, look... You take the case,
272
00:11:19,566 --> 00:11:23,214
and I teach you how to dress and how to
talk to bitches and save your marriage.
273
00:11:23,338 --> 00:11:24,682
You know what? Why not?
274
00:11:24,806 --> 00:11:27,286
You're not gonna teach
me how to dance, right?
275
00:11:27,610 --> 00:11:29,011
No. No dancing.
276
00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:31,724
But there will be a shopping montage.
277
00:11:31,848 --> 00:11:35,382
Two things women hate...
Broke men and boring men.
278
00:11:35,453 --> 00:11:37,198
Good news is, you're not broke.
279
00:11:37,222 --> 00:11:40,369
But you are boring, and women
hate to be bored, Tom.
280
00:11:40,393 --> 00:11:41,860
They hate to be bored.
281
00:11:41,928 --> 00:11:43,172
A woman would rather be with a guy
282
00:11:43,196 --> 00:11:45,442
that beats them to death
than bores them to death.
283
00:11:45,466 --> 00:11:47,067
Trust me, nigga, I know.
284
00:11:49,904 --> 00:11:51,538
But why do they want me, Tom?
285
00:11:51,607 --> 00:11:52,785
Is it my incredible sexiness?
286
00:11:52,809 --> 00:11:54,810
Sure. But why am I so sexy?
287
00:11:55,379 --> 00:11:57,646
What is the secret to my sexiness?
288
00:11:57,648 --> 00:12:00,882
My money, my jewels, fame?
Absolutely.
289
00:12:01,486 --> 00:12:03,998
But, really, it's because I'm a fuck up.
290
00:12:04,022 --> 00:12:08,090
I get arrested, I do drugs, I
rob liquor stores... Allegedly!
291
00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:11,029
- That's what all women want.
- Why?
292
00:12:11,032 --> 00:12:13,366
Because women have no self-respect!
293
00:12:14,536 --> 00:12:16,604
Well, my wife has self-respect.
294
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,450
- Really? You sure?
- Yes.
295
00:12:18,474 --> 00:12:21,421
She's an educated,
well-rounded, confident woman.
296
00:12:21,445 --> 00:12:22,555
I may need to meet her.
297
00:12:22,579 --> 00:12:24,758
No, no, no. No.
I know where this goes.
298
00:12:24,782 --> 00:12:27,882
- You're not going to do my wife.
- Do your wife?
299
00:12:28,020 --> 00:12:29,131
Tom, I wouldn't do your wife.
300
00:12:29,155 --> 00:12:31,956
You have a song called
"I will do your wife!"
301
00:12:32,026 --> 00:12:33,926
I didn't mean your wife!
302
00:12:34,094 --> 00:12:35,840
I meant that metaphorically.
303
00:12:36,364 --> 00:12:38,309
Mmm, I still don't think it's a good idea.
304
00:12:38,333 --> 00:12:40,378
Nigga, I swear on my abs...
305
00:12:40,702 --> 00:12:43,503
On my abs, nigga!
I will not touch your wife.
306
00:12:43,507 --> 00:12:46,541
Well, my daughter would love to meet you.
307
00:12:46,678 --> 00:12:49,912
- A small dinner. No entourage!
- No problem.
308
00:12:53,719 --> 00:12:55,939
Man, I can't believe all
these people showed up.
309
00:12:56,055 --> 00:12:59,636
Well, maybe if you hadn't tweeted our
address to three million people...
310
00:12:59,660 --> 00:13:02,528
- Hey, man...
- Yeah, you were f'ed up, I know.
311
00:13:02,531 --> 00:13:04,541
Okay, so, check it. Key with chicks is
312
00:13:04,665 --> 00:13:06,245
to insult them when you compliment them.
313
00:13:06,469 --> 00:13:07,746
Never be too nice.
314
00:13:07,770 --> 00:13:09,771
Trust me. Go neg on her.
315
00:13:09,773 --> 00:13:09,841
Knock her down a peg. She'll love it.
316
00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:17,613
Hey, sweetie, you look lovely tonight.
317
00:13:17,694 --> 00:13:18,694
Oh, thank you, honey.
318
00:13:18,818 --> 00:13:21,452
Yeah, but not as nice
as you think you look.
319
00:13:21,555 --> 00:13:22,556
Asshole!
320
00:13:29,701 --> 00:13:30,944
Hey, neighbor!
321
00:13:30,968 --> 00:13:33,179
We, uh, heard there's a
dinner party going down,
322
00:13:33,203 --> 00:13:37,404
and I never received the
e-vite, so here we are.
323
00:13:41,580 --> 00:13:43,993
You didn't get one because
you weren't invited.
324
00:13:44,017 --> 00:13:46,129
You got a lot of nerve
leaving me out in the cold
325
00:13:46,153 --> 00:13:49,621
and then wanting to come to the
Flizzy dinner for the free food.
326
00:13:49,692 --> 00:13:51,303
We didn't come here for the free food.
327
00:13:51,327 --> 00:13:52,538
We came here to warn you.
328
00:13:52,562 --> 00:13:54,740
Tom, you got to get that
Flizzy away from your wife!
329
00:13:54,764 --> 00:13:56,510
It's bad enough she's trapped
in this passionless,
330
00:13:56,534 --> 00:13:58,078
sexually unfulfilling marriage with you.
331
00:13:58,102 --> 00:14:00,164
Her ladyparts probably burning
with unquenchable lust,
332
00:14:00,171 --> 00:14:02,450
and you just gonna dangle all
that sexiness in front of her?
333
00:14:02,474 --> 00:14:06,275
- Huh?
- Man, it's like:
"here, nigga, take my wife, please!"
334
00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:07,824
You know he's got a song called...
335
00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:09,225
"I will do your wife," yes.
336
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:12,283
But there's also a song
called, "white wifebooty."
337
00:14:12,454 --> 00:14:14,154
- Know that?
- Really?
338
00:14:14,155 --> 00:14:18,123
No, no, I didn't.
And it doesn't matter, guys.
339
00:14:18,162 --> 00:14:19,672
I... I know what I'm doing.
340
00:14:19,696 --> 00:14:21,574
Flizzy's gonna help me work
things out with Sarah.
341
00:14:21,599 --> 00:14:23,143
Oh, he gonna work something out, all right.
342
00:14:23,167 --> 00:14:25,012
- That booty.
- He's here to help.
343
00:14:25,036 --> 00:14:26,948
Oh, he gonna help himself to that booty!
344
00:14:27,272 --> 00:14:29,285
- It's under control!
- He's gonna...
345
00:14:29,309 --> 00:14:30,886
Control that booty. Got it.
346
00:14:30,910 --> 00:14:32,510
I wasn't gonna say that.
347
00:14:32,547 --> 00:14:34,725
He gonna be under that booty!
348
00:14:35,849 --> 00:14:37,428
Good one, granddad!
349
00:14:37,452 --> 00:14:39,419
Yeah, ha, yeah, very funny guys.
Enough.
350
00:14:39,489 --> 00:14:40,432
As long as you know.
351
00:14:40,456 --> 00:14:42,667
Next time your kids are born
with great abs and tattoos,
352
00:14:42,691 --> 00:14:46,292
don't say I didn't warn you.
Come on, kids. Let's eat.
353
00:14:49,968 --> 00:14:54,169
Oh, my God, you're so funny and so polite.
354
00:14:54,773 --> 00:14:58,774
I can't believe you rob liquor stores
and you beat up women.
355
00:14:58,813 --> 00:15:00,357
- Sarah!
- No, it's cool.
356
00:15:00,481 --> 00:15:03,061
She's right. I really need
to stop getting arrested.
357
00:15:03,085 --> 00:15:06,365
I'm not passing judgment
about the Christianna thing.
358
00:15:06,389 --> 00:15:09,389
I know sometimes bitches step out of line.
359
00:15:09,660 --> 00:15:11,327
Lord knows I do!
360
00:15:11,362 --> 00:15:13,508
Honey, there are children at the table.
361
00:15:13,632 --> 00:15:15,632
Now, I want to be clear, kids.
362
00:15:15,934 --> 00:15:17,935
Hitting a woman is wrong...
363
00:15:17,971 --> 00:15:19,816
Unless she hits you first.
364
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:22,374
Ain't that right!
365
00:15:22,676 --> 00:15:24,444
Or she talks about your mama!
366
00:15:24,446 --> 00:15:26,113
Sarah, that is enough!
367
00:15:26,115 --> 00:15:27,760
"Sarah, that's enough."
368
00:15:28,284 --> 00:15:28,961
Sarah, that's it!
369
00:15:28,985 --> 00:15:30,997
You're embarrassing yourself
in front of your daughter
370
00:15:31,021 --> 00:15:32,633
and in front of pretty boy Flizzy!
371
00:15:32,657 --> 00:15:34,034
It's like we not even here.
372
00:15:34,158 --> 00:15:37,205
Now, you've had enough. You are going
to go upstairs and sleep it off!
373
00:15:37,229 --> 00:15:40,230
What are you gonna do, Tom?
Hit me?
374
00:15:40,266 --> 00:15:41,966
No! I'm gonna leave you!
375
00:15:43,536 --> 00:15:44,336
Daddy!
376
00:15:44,605 --> 00:15:46,105
Tom, wait!
Tom!
377
00:15:46,241 --> 00:15:47,674
Tom grew a pair.
378
00:15:47,709 --> 00:15:49,755
Didn't see that coming.
379
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:04,694
Oh, bitter.
Sorry to bother you.
380
00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:07,677
Didn't really have anyone else to call.
381
00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:09,513
Eh, no sweat, man. That was rough.
382
00:16:09,537 --> 00:16:11,137
Yeah, it was a disaster.
383
00:16:11,472 --> 00:16:13,151
So much for making a man out of me.
384
00:16:13,175 --> 00:16:16,288
Naw, man. To just stand up and
walk out, that took guts.
385
00:16:16,312 --> 00:16:19,880
All I ended up learning is
my wife likes you better.
386
00:16:19,917 --> 00:16:21,461
Your wife doesn't like me better.
387
00:16:21,585 --> 00:16:23,364
You guys are both just boring as fuck.
388
00:16:23,388 --> 00:16:25,033
You're rolling with me tonight.
389
00:16:25,057 --> 00:16:26,633
I'm taking you to man camp.
390
00:16:26,657 --> 00:16:29,070
But I don't hang with no
negative-energy-sucking motherfuckers.
391
00:16:29,294 --> 00:16:33,009
So gather up some positivity in this
bitch right quick and let's roll out.
392
00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:34,434
Okay! I can be positive.
393
00:16:34,435 --> 00:16:38,235
I'm not a loser. I can...
get stuff happening,
394
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:39,907
and I got stuff going on!
395
00:16:40,910 --> 00:16:42,088
Things could be worse.
396
00:16:42,112 --> 00:16:43,445
I could be that guy.
397
00:16:45,115 --> 00:16:46,382
It's a mirror, Tom.
398
00:16:46,418 --> 00:16:48,018
Mmm, fuck.
399
00:16:49,253 --> 00:16:50,653
♪ We gettin' fucked up
400
00:16:50,655 --> 00:17:05,072
♪ We fucking strippers
We gettin' fucked up
401
00:17:05,075 --> 00:17:06,476
Welcome.
402
00:17:08,143 --> 00:17:10,743
Oh, what the heck.
It's man camp.
403
00:17:13,317 --> 00:17:15,385
♪ At the club Big tippers
404
00:17:16,021 --> 00:17:17,721
♪ She makin' money
405
00:17:17,791 --> 00:17:18,801
♪ I'm-a still stiff her
406
00:17:18,825 --> 00:17:20,437
♪ Poppin' molly drinkin' drank
407
00:17:20,461 --> 00:17:22,995
♪ Big trippers See us buyin' out a bar
408
00:17:23,031 --> 00:17:26,512
♪ That's the big picture
Your man lookin' for his girl
409
00:17:26,536 --> 00:17:28,269
♪ I think he missed her...
410
00:17:29,373 --> 00:17:32,840
Hey, this is the buy-n-fly
that Flizzy robbed.
411
00:17:33,411 --> 00:17:34,544
Funny.
412
00:17:38,884 --> 00:17:40,396
♪ Baby, grab your ankles
Tylenol?
413
00:17:40,420 --> 00:17:42,298
♪ You know what's next
414
00:17:42,322 --> 00:17:43,768
♪ Girl, I'm on that drank
415
00:17:43,792 --> 00:17:45,069
♪ And you on that molly
416
00:17:45,193 --> 00:17:48,061
♪ Come back to the crib for the after party
417
00:17:48,463 --> 00:17:51,343
♪ You can bring your friends
Got a lot of time
418
00:17:51,467 --> 00:17:54,446
I'm telling you, we've watched
this thing a million times.
419
00:17:54,470 --> 00:17:56,804
We know that's Flizzy. Case closed.
420
00:17:57,208 --> 00:17:59,676
That's right. Ha, ha, ha! Yeah!
421
00:18:06,150 --> 00:18:07,284
Cut!
422
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,888
There was a P.A. in the shot! Reset!
423
00:18:10,525 --> 00:18:13,259
-Man, I'm getting sweaty.
- Pretty's sweaty.
424
00:18:13,296 --> 00:18:15,629
Is someone deaf? Shine check!
425
00:18:16,532 --> 00:18:19,478
Can you throw me a line?
Trying to get my union card.
426
00:18:19,502 --> 00:18:21,703
Find anything, Columbo?
427
00:18:21,706 --> 00:18:23,306
Uh, nope! Nothing.
428
00:18:23,774 --> 00:18:25,375
Thanks, Jack.
429
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:36,000
Mrs. Dubois, do you mind if
we do a quick sound check?
430
00:18:36,024 --> 00:18:37,357
Of course. Go ahead.
431
00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:43,276
Okay, "I'm gonna "Eat your snatch box."
On one, two, three.
432
00:18:43,300 --> 00:18:45,033
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on!
433
00:18:45,069 --> 00:18:46,270
Excuse me just a sec.
434
00:18:46,271 --> 00:18:48,816
You, uh, can't sing that
at Jazmine's party.
435
00:18:48,940 --> 00:18:50,619
Why not? You don't like it?
436
00:18:50,643 --> 00:18:52,554
No! I love that song. A lot, actually.
437
00:18:52,578 --> 00:18:54,858
We just have to replace
snatch box with something.
438
00:18:54,882 --> 00:18:56,325
- Pussy?
- No, no.
439
00:18:56,349 --> 00:18:59,150
- How about "cake"?
- Sure thing, Mrs. Dubois.
440
00:19:08,042 --> 00:19:09,342
What's up, tiger?
441
00:19:09,366 --> 00:19:12,280
- You faked the robbery.
- What are you talking about?
442
00:19:12,404 --> 00:19:15,417
I watched the surveillance tape, Flizzy.
The whole tape.
443
00:19:15,441 --> 00:19:17,441
I know you staged the robbery.
444
00:19:17,577 --> 00:19:19,622
You just couldn't leave
shit alone, could you?
445
00:19:19,646 --> 00:19:22,293
What else was fake?
Were the Nicaraguan guns fake?
446
00:19:22,317 --> 00:19:24,296
Did you really even beat Christianna?
447
00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:27,767
Don't you ever question whether
or not I beat Christianna!
448
00:19:27,791 --> 00:19:29,591
I whopped that bitch's ass!
449
00:19:29,660 --> 00:19:32,072
But the Nicki Minaj thing was staged.
450
00:19:32,496 --> 00:19:34,976
She ain't really a cyborg, either.
She's a nice girl.
451
00:19:35,100 --> 00:19:37,980
Damn, Tom. Why couldn't you
just mind your own business?
452
00:19:38,004 --> 00:19:40,249
I'm your attorney!
This is my business!
453
00:19:40,373 --> 00:19:43,119
- But why?
- 'Cause I got to stay relevant! That's why!
454
00:19:43,143 --> 00:19:44,687
This music shit sucks right now!
455
00:19:45,011 --> 00:19:47,858
You got to act like an idiot just
to stay in their fucking faces!
456
00:19:47,882 --> 00:19:51,930
But if I can stay in just the right
amount of trouble, I'll be all right.
457
00:19:51,954 --> 00:19:54,955
My audience is women, Tom.
Women.
458
00:19:54,992 --> 00:19:56,793
And women hate to be bored.
459
00:19:56,861 --> 00:19:58,372
Look, Flizzy, I'm sorry.
460
00:19:58,796 --> 00:20:00,464
I don't understand any of this.
461
00:20:00,476 --> 00:20:01,476
I don't live in your world.
462
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:03,879
I'm a simple guy. I just want to do my job,
463
00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:08,537
take care of my family, and I needed
some help trying to get my wife back.
464
00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:11,923
Oh, you want your wife back?
465
00:20:12,047 --> 00:20:14,927
How about not inviting a
nigga that's richer than you
466
00:20:14,951 --> 00:20:16,495
and prettier than you to meet your wife?
467
00:20:16,519 --> 00:20:18,230
I mean, how stupid can you be, nigga?
468
00:20:18,254 --> 00:20:20,066
What? But I... I thought we were...
469
00:20:20,090 --> 00:20:23,137
Thought what, nigga?
I'm tired of your punk-ass!
470
00:20:24,863 --> 00:20:26,943
Flizzy, I think you should just leave.
471
00:20:27,067 --> 00:20:28,477
Shit! Leave?
472
00:20:28,601 --> 00:20:30,280
I might as well move in this bitch.
473
00:20:30,304 --> 00:20:31,948
You already done gave me your wife.
474
00:20:31,972 --> 00:20:33,017
Shit this is my house.
475
00:20:33,041 --> 00:20:35,686
Jazmine's gonna be calling
me daddy from now on.
476
00:20:35,710 --> 00:20:37,722
- Now, that's enough!
- Oh, you mad, Tom?
477
00:20:37,746 --> 00:20:40,059
What you gonna do? You want to hit me?
Hit me, Tom!
478
00:20:40,083 --> 00:20:42,150
Hey! Flizzy, I'm warning you...
479
00:20:43,419 --> 00:20:45,265
Hit me, Tom. Come on, hit me now!
480
00:20:45,689 --> 00:20:47,556
All right, you asked for it!
481
00:20:50,095 --> 00:20:50,896
Tom!
482
00:20:51,698 --> 00:20:53,275
Come on, motherfucker.
483
00:20:55,199 --> 00:20:57,400
Aah! You're not taking my family!
484
00:20:57,771 --> 00:20:59,572
Tom! Oh, my God!
Tom, stop!
485
00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:01,819
Oh! I knew it!
I knew it!
486
00:21:02,143 --> 00:21:05,344
Citizen's arrest!
I'm making a citizen's arrest!
487
00:21:08,286 --> 00:21:09,997
Now shut up! Stop squirming!
488
00:21:10,421 --> 00:21:12,821
You have the right to remain silent!
489
00:21:13,025 --> 00:21:14,558
Oh! Baby, are you okay?
490
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:17,206
I can't believe you did that.
You were a maniac!
491
00:21:17,230 --> 00:21:19,363
I have never seen you like that.
492
00:21:24,940 --> 00:21:26,452
All right, get moving, get moving.
493
00:21:26,576 --> 00:21:29,656
Avert your eyes, avert your eyes.
Just a nigga going to jail.
494
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:31,013
Nothing to see here.
495
00:21:33,217 --> 00:21:34,995
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.
496
00:21:35,019 --> 00:21:37,667
I was such a bitch, and you
didn't deserve any of that.
497
00:21:37,691 --> 00:21:38,568
Yes.
498
00:21:38,692 --> 00:21:41,059
Yes, you were a... "b."
499
00:21:41,428 --> 00:21:42,962
Please come home.
500
00:21:43,031 --> 00:21:46,164
Please.
I have cake.
501
00:21:46,668 --> 00:21:50,569
Let's get you upstairs.
You ready for some Sarah cake?
502
00:21:53,008 --> 00:21:54,276
Naughty.
503
00:21:59,712 --> 00:22:00,946
Oh, my back!
504
00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:02,921
Oh! I'm sorry.
505
00:22:04,457 --> 00:22:07,724
♪ Yeah. I wanna do your wife
506
00:22:08,329 --> 00:22:10,996
♪ I wanna do your wife
507
00:22:11,343 --> 00:22:12,544
♪ Do your wife
508
00:22:12,568 --> 00:22:16,435
♪ Do your wife ♪ I wanna do your wife
509
00:22:18,307 --> 00:22:20,508
♪ 'Cause you a broke motherfucker
510
00:22:20,845 --> 00:22:23,579
♪ And you don't even know how to fuck no!
511
00:22:24,649 --> 00:22:26,361
♪ You don't even cheat on her
512
00:22:26,385 --> 00:22:29,953
♪ She gettin' bored 'cause
you don't even beat on her ♪
513
00:22:32,077 --> 00:22:37,077
Resync and edited by Raindrops