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Synced by emmasan
www.addic7ed.com
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Huey: Even though he tried not to show it,
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our money problems had clearly
made granddad a little crazy.
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[Electronic zapping in distance]
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Granddad: Huey, Riley,
is that electricity I hear?!
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We can't afford that.
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What'd I tell you?
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This house is an airplane.
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Turn off all your electronic
devices and keep them off.
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Matter of fact, get out here!
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You should be done trying on those clothes.
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- Riley: I can't wear this.
- Granddad: Why not?
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Don't tell anyone it's
from the thrift store.
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They wouldn't know.
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Looks stylish to me. Tell him, Huey.
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Huey: It's not stylish.
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Granddad: If Kris Kross can jump in them,
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you can walk to
school in them.
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Riley: For real, granddad?
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See, this is why niggers drop out of school.
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I'ma get teased.
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Uh-oh.
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Huey: Granddad, you're just beating
him to take out your own frustrations.
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Granddad: That's what kids are for! Move!
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Huey: We were caught in a cycle
of despair, violence, and poverty.
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I had to find a real solution. A job!
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- Granddad: Huh?
- Huey: Why don't you get a job?
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Riley: Huh?
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Huey: I'm serious, granddad.
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Lots of old people are going back to work.
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Granddad: And they're horrible at it!
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When they wait on you, they slow as hell...
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Too chatty! Who give a
damn their kids don't call?
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Huey: But you'd be better
than a regular old person.
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You're still fast.
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We have strong genes.
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You told us we come from hardworking
sharecroppers, porters, slaves.
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Granddad: Yeah, and after
all that, a nigger is tired.
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Huey: Well, I think you could do it.
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Granddad: Yeah. If you're so smart,
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tell me exactly where are
these jobs hiring old black folk?
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Huey: When times got rough,
what jobs did black folks have before?
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Try those.
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Granddad: Hmm.
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__
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Huh?
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All these people in line for
rote, dehumanizing work?
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Oh! No, qué lástima. Trabajo no hoy.
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Jobs yesterday, amigo.
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Today... Alma awards tickets.
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Granddad: Oh. Damn!
Well, thank you, amigo.
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[Laughter]
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Hey [Bleep] him, trying to take our jobs.
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Ruckus: Sorry. I only hire Mexicans, too.
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It's that damn Obama's fault.
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That's why you can't get a job.
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Granddad: Oh Ruckus, you think
everything is Obama's fault.
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Ruckus: That's because it is.
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He got elected and made good white folks
feel self-conscious about hiring niggers.
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See, a shoeshine boy
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is somebody you should feel
comfortable talking to about anything...
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about your mistress, about how
you hate [Bleep] your wife...
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somebody you should feel
comfortable calling a nigger,
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'cause nowadays, you just can't get
them friendly greetings out at work.
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You don't want to look up one day and
see that shoeshine boy on your TV,
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talking about "mahmoud ahamadamadinejad"
and clean energy.
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That just complicates the relationship.
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Granddad: But I'm not
running for president.
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Kus: Oh, that is true, but you know
who's never reay gonna be the president?
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A wetback illegal.
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You can go home after kicking his
prayer-candle-dipped-in-tapatío-smelling ass
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and feel comfortable you will never see
his illegal ass in the Roosevelt room.
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Granddad: So, what should I do?
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Ruckus: Nothin'.
You ain't got no chance.
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As much as them negroes con queso annoy me,
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they have one hell of a work ethic.
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Hell, they get more work done.
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They even import little mini
versions of themselves.
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Guatemalans, I think they're called.
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[Twinkle!]
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[Men snoring]
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And am I reading this right?
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Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
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Granddad: Dead.
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What? I'm old. I don't have healthcare.
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Sometimes when I sneeze, I [Bleep] myself.
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- Once...
- Moving on.
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Let's see what you put
for greatest weakness.
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Granddad: Pork chops.
- Are you even taking this seriously?
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Granddad: Are you?!
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These ridiculous questions.
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If you, like everyone else, think
I am completely unhirable, fine.
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Mr. Freeman, these are
standard job-placement questions.
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They're on everyone's application.
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Let me be frank... you are unhirable.
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You come across as uneducated,
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you've just proven you're comfortable
cursing in a professional setting,
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and... wait! I think I have the perfect job.
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[Beep]
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Granddad: Is that a full-size
shampoo bottle, nigga?!
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Get over here, Al-Qaeda!
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- [Grunting]
- [Both grunting]
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Huey: Eventually, granddad's
pride got the best of him.
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- [Laughter]
- [Whistles]
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Granddad: Ugh! Ugh!
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[Laughter continues]
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Granddad: Kiss my black ass.
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[Doorbell rings]
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Huey: I had to call in the big guns...
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someone who loved capitalism
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and smiled at giving away the
bulk of his free day to the man.
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Tom: Hey, Huey.
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I came over as soon as I paid my taxes.
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Whoa. Who peed in your petunias, Robert?
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Granddad: Stupid huey had this great idea
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that a job could help with money problems.
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Huey: How is it my fault you got fired?
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Granddad: It's your fault I tried.
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Trying to get a job is the first
step to losing a job.
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Tom: Robert, look... I know it's hard,
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but we can find you a job.
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It's all about strategy.
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I got it. You should volunteer!
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Granddad: Volunteer?!
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Riley: We broke as hell,
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doing homework by candlelight,
like Amish niggers,
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and you telling him to work for free?
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Man, that's like hustling
backwards!
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Tom: No, it's not.
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Volunteering can be the perfect
conduit to full-time employment.
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It's a great resume builder...
shows you have drive.
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I'm volunteering at the
old-folks' home tonight.
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You should come!
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Riley: You should go.
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You know one's about to die,
be real nice to that one.
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Cha-ching!
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Tom: [Laughs] Come on!
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It'll be fun!
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They're so grateful for the volunteers.
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Plus, there's lots of lonely cuties there.
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♪ Oh! Susanna, don't you cry for me ♪
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♪ Well, I come from Alabama with
a banjo on my knee ♪
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Huh?
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Mnh-mnh! Don't clap.
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I'm tired of this lawyer coming
in and just singing.
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Can't an old bitch get
some free legal advice,
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some estate planning, an advance directive?
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[Laughs]
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Granddad: [Laughs] Yeah,
it does seem like a waste.
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I'm Geraldine.
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Granddad: Robert. Pleased
to make your acquaintance.
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Mm. Robert, huh?
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Why is this my first time seeing you?
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What floor you live on?
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Granddad: Oh, I don't live here.
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I have people who care about me.
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Well, I didn't mean...
Seems like a lovely place.
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Tom: All right, joke time.
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[Laughs]
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Is this thing on? No?
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[Laughs] All right.
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All right, what's invisible and
smells like strawberries?
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My farts after I drink Ensure.
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- Tom: What?
- [Laughter]
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No. Ew. Ick. Gross. That is no... gah.
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No, that's... that's not the punch...
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Oh, God. It smells like
strawberries in here now.
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Let's go upstairs. Come on.
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It'll be more fun than this.
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[Tires screech]
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- Aah!
- Granddad: Ohh!
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- Hey, what the...
- Okay, spread 'em! Spread 'em!
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You know the deal.
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- Mm. Mm! Ooh! [Laughs]
- Granddad: Ugh!
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He's clean!
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Robert, come. Have a seat.
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So, Robert, what brought you here today?
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Granddad: Am I about to get
jumped into some gray panthers gang?
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If so, look... I'd like to decline.
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I'm just here looking for a job.
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Job?!
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Oh, you don't want to work here, honey.
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Know what a nursing home is?
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It's jail.
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Why, you cheatin' bitch!
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Okay, okay.
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Here.
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That's right... jail,
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a jail that smells like
a combination of poop,
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piss, poopy piss, and gout.
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[Bleep] Food and ghetto nursing
assistants in Spongebob scrubs.
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Ain't no rest in this rest home.
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The worst part... ha!... No money.
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That's why we had to flip
this arts-and-crafts room
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into our underground financial enterprise.
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So, Mr. Man, you still
interested in a job?
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Granddad: Yes, but not
after what you told me.
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Piss-poop? I want to work in a clean place.
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How do you feel about whores, Robert?
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- Granddad: Love 'em.
- Good.
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Let me back up a bit.
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Know why we're broke, Robert?
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Because our generation raised
no-good, selfish-ass sons.
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I asked my son to visit me.
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He said, "I'm busy, mama."
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Yeah, nigga was busy, all right...
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Snatchin' a purse.
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I'm telling you, every single
one of our boys age 30 to 50...
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they're stuck on stupid and
fastened to [Bleep]-up.
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That's where you come in.
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An old-school man like you. [Chuckles]
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Young ladies would really appreciate.
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Granddad: Oh! That's the job?
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Well, give me a red light and sign me up.
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Make sure to read the part
where we get to cap your ass
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if you don't bring our money by supper...
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4:30 on the dot.
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Real talk, Robert...
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I should hope, at your age, you
know that women are different
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when it comes to our needs.
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Granddad: No problems here.
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I've been around the block.
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So, that's it? I'm officially a hooker?
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I'm gonna have to
ask you not to say that.
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You're an escort.
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Granddad: Okay, escort.
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Young ladies, prepare to be
escorted to orgasm land! Whoo!
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Huey: Granddad was definitely happier
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since he came back from the old-folks' home.
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I guess there is something to volunteering.
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Granddad: Huey, drench my back.
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Riley: Aw, no! You
spendin' money on a date
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and we sitting here eating air sandwiches?
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Granddad: I'm not going on a date.
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I'll have you know I got a job.
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Huey: What kind of job
wears suits on the night shift?
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Granddad: Lots of important jobs...
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Valet and pimps.
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Huey: Which one are you?
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Granddad: Hush. Don't
worry about what I am.
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Know what you should be worrying about?
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Behaving for the babysitter.
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Ruckus: Hello, lil' niggers.
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Well, go on.
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Get out there and sell that
shriveled-up monkey dick.
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See you in the morning, ho man.
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Riley: Huh?
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Granddad: Ruckus, I'm not
a whore man. I'm an escort.
249
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,900
Ruckus: Escort? Ha! Let me
break down "escort" for you.
250
00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:01,900
Webster's Dictionary will tell you
251
00:11:01,900 --> 00:11:04,600
an escort is a smart,
pretty white woman who,
252
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:07,000
temporarily down on her luck,
253
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,900
uses the powers of her gold-plated vagina
254
00:11:09,900 --> 00:11:11,800
to care for her adorable kids.
255
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:13,500
You, my nigger, is a ho.
256
00:11:13,700 --> 00:11:16,800
Riley: Granddad!
That's your job... hoin'?
257
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,700
You're sleeping with dudes?
258
00:11:18,700 --> 00:11:21,700
Granddad: Hell, no!
I'm escorting ladies.
259
00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:23,400
Riley: Well, that's all right, then.
260
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:25,300
Actually, that's kind of gangsta.
261
00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:27,200
Huey: You were supposed to
get a real job.
262
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:28,400
Granddad: This is a real job.
263
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:29,900
I don't see what
the big deal is.
264
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,000
Ruckus: The big deal?!
265
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,300
The big deal is that women
would pay to [Bleep] you!
266
00:11:33,300 --> 00:11:35,900
Nigger, you know you would
[Bleep] anything for free.
267
00:11:35,900 --> 00:11:38,500
Huey: Granddad, you're
not really gonna do this?
268
00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,000
Granddad: Know what I'm not gonna do?
269
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,500
Be late for my first date.
270
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:44,600
Nothin' wrong with sex.
That's how we all got here.
271
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:47,500
It's fun, and if you can get
paid for it, better.
272
00:11:47,700 --> 00:11:51,300
That's the exact sex talk I was
gonna have with you in two years.
273
00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:52,700
Now excuse me.
274
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:55,100
Time for granddad to give the
ladies what they need.
275
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:57,900
Mm. Ohh.
276
00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:00,300
[Purrs] Mm.
277
00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:02,900
This is exactly what I needed.
278
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,800
God, I should have signed up
for more than three hours.
279
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:07,400
[Purrs]
280
00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:08,800
- Granddad: [Yawns]
- [Cats meowing]
281
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:16,400
- Her?
- Granddad: No.
282
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:17,900
- Her?
- Granddad: No!
283
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,100
- Her?
- Granddad: Nope.
284
00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:20,100
And what about her?
285
00:12:20,100 --> 00:12:22,300
Granddad: No, Marge Simpson's
not prettier than you, either!
286
00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:26,200
You're prettier than tonight's
entire lineup and all of basic cable!
287
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:29,000
[Gasps] Oh, thank you.
288
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:33,600
[Moaning]
289
00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:36,400
Yes! Yes!
290
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:39,700
Oh, God, I've been so lonely!
291
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:43,600
Oh, yes! Cuddle me harder!
292
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:45,900
- [Moans]
- Granddad: Ohh.
293
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,000
I'm supposed to be getting used for sex.
294
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,100
I'm getting less sex than before.
295
00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:54,800
[Cellphone rings]
296
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,800
That last date, Vanessa...
297
00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:58,200
That's her again, damn it!
298
00:12:58,200 --> 00:12:59,400
She calls me...
299
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,600
[Imitating Vanessa]
just to see what I'm doing.
300
00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:05,400
Lord, a ho can't be a blessin'
if you don't give him lessons.
301
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:08,600
Grab a computer.
Pull the stats on Vanessa.
302
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,600
[Tires screech]
303
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,200
- Give me that computer!
- Granddad: [Gasps]
304
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:16,800
[Moaning]
305
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:21,600
Um... Robert, I'm gonna need
you to put on your big-boy pants
306
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,700
and listen real careful.
307
00:13:23,700 --> 00:13:26,600
First, women don't pay for dangle.
308
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:30,200
Even I can go to a club and roll out
with some free dick for the night.
309
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,600
What you're doing for our
women is bigger than that.
310
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:37,500
You're boosting their self-esteem,
making them feel loved, desirable.
311
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:38,800
Pulled up Vanessa.
312
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,300
No kids, 39.
313
00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:43,400
She found our ad in the back of that book,
314
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,500
"think like a dude
'cause your lonely black ass
315
00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:47,200
ain't never gonna get one anyway." Ha!
316
00:13:47,700 --> 00:13:48,800
Granddad: Oh, I saw that movie.
317
00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:50,000
Of course you did.
318
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,000
She read the book twice
'cause she didn't have a date.
319
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:55,200
This is truly the horrible
nigger millennium...
320
00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:57,900
times when even the skinny white
"Sex and the City" bitches
321
00:13:57,900 --> 00:14:00,400
can't find a good man for six seasons.
322
00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:03,700
Now, if them bitches got a man cold... ha!
323
00:14:03,700 --> 00:14:05,700
Our women got a man flu!
324
00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:07,800
And we keep them on antibiotics
325
00:14:07,900 --> 00:14:10,600
by doubling down on the bad nigger news.
326
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,700
Boss, here's our stat for the day.
327
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:17,200
A black woman is more likely to die in a
tanning-salon fire than find true love.
328
00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:20,500
You see? You're making these
lonely black women feel loved,
329
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:24,400
and that feeling is the most
powerful [Bleep] drug in the world.
330
00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:27,000
Keep shoving that [Bleep]
in Vanessa's veins...
331
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:28,800
she'll keep you paid forever.
332
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,200
Granddad: But I don't want forever!
333
00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:31,400
I just want to get out of debt.
334
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,600
You know, I'm getting tired of your [Bleep].
335
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:38,900
Mow you go blow love smoke up
Vanessa's black ass and get my money.
336
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,400
Granddad: Mm-hmm.
337
00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:47,900
- What the...
- Riley: Mm-mmm!
338
00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:53,100
Want me to make you a plate?
339
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:56,000
How the hell did you get into my house?
340
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:58,200
Well, our first date went so well,
341
00:14:58,300 --> 00:15:00,800
I upgraded to the "if I catch
you looking at another bitch,
342
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,100
I'll kill you package"...
343
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:03,800
the one that comes with a house key.
344
00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:05,600
Who wants dessert?
345
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,800
Riley: We do! I mean, I do.
346
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,500
Ruckus: Oh, don't look at me.
347
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:16,600
I thought that nappy-headed
woman was a bear.
348
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,000
I kept trying to lock the door.
349
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,600
Granddad: She's one of my clients.
350
00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:21,800
Ruckus: Look at you, bringing work home.
351
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,100
Very unniggardly of you, Robert.
352
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,500
Granddad: Shut up, Ruckus.
We got to get her out.
353
00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:27,600
Ruckus: [Laughs]
354
00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:29,300
Boy, that is a powerful request.
355
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,800
Them big-thigh black ones just
like bedbugs.
356
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:35,800
Once they're in, you got to damn near
burn your whole house down to get 'em out.
357
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,200
Okay, I do have one solution
358
00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:41,000
even more powerful than
pouring water on their hair.
359
00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:42,800
Give me some time.
360
00:15:44,700 --> 00:15:46,600
[Door opens, closes]
361
00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:50,000
Granddad: Huh?
362
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,900
- About time we toss this one, too.
- Granddad: Hey!
363
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:55,700
Riley: And this one!
364
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,700
Man, please, please, can
we keep her, granddad?!
365
00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:01,800
Granddad: You can't
throw away my old shirts!
366
00:16:01,900 --> 00:16:04,300
I relive my glory days in my old shirts!
367
00:16:04,300 --> 00:16:08,000
But if we don't get rid of your ugly
clothes, where will I put my clothes?
368
00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:09,600
Granddad: In your house!
369
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:12,000
You know I sold my house to pay for you.
370
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:13,600
[Smooches]
371
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:22,100
Granddad: Damn!
She used real sweet potatoes.
372
00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:27,500
Okay. Instruct me on
what you expect at night
373
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,500
tell you you look better without makeup,
374
00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:32,000
a couple of "I'll kill myself
if you leave me"?
375
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,200
[Laughs] You're just silly-acting.
376
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:36,300
[Knock on door]
377
00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:38,200
Granddad: When did they start knocking?
378
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,700
I taught them. It's good manners.
379
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:44,500
- Huey: Riley's talking in his sleep.
- Riley: I'm just reading.
380
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:46,600
Trick-ass new grandma told me to.
381
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:49,600
She said readin' was how she got
rich enough to rent granddad.
382
00:16:49,700 --> 00:16:51,600
Granddad: Enough. Get your asses in bed.
383
00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:57,000
You got Riley reading? Whoo!
384
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,300
That must have taken a beating and a half.
385
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:02,500
I didn't beat him.
We sisters have our ways.
386
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:05,300
Okay, I threatened to beat him...
387
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:06,900
the way my mom did.
388
00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:10,200
Got real demon in the eyes and
looked around at anything in sight
389
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:11,700
that could be used to beat that ass.
390
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,000
God, I always wanted kids.
391
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:16,700
How 'bout I kick in an extra $200 a week
392
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,200
and you let the boys call me "mom," hmm?
393
00:17:19,700 --> 00:17:21,600
Granddad: $200?
394
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,700
Vanessa, let's not do this anymore.
395
00:17:26,300 --> 00:17:28,900
I'm trying to do what's
right. You deserve better.
396
00:17:28,900 --> 00:17:31,200
You're pretty. You make
a mean sweet-potato pie.
397
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:32,100
You're smart.
398
00:17:32,100 --> 00:17:35,100
[Crying] I'm not smart.
I can't even buy the right hooker.
399
00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:37,700
I bought the one that breaks up with me.
400
00:17:38,700 --> 00:17:40,400
Granddad: I'm not breaking up with you.
401
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:43,700
I'm just thinking you could be
really happy without paying for it.
402
00:17:44,700 --> 00:17:47,100
Now you're the hooker
with the heart of gold?
403
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:51,000
Granddad: Look, I think I'd be real
lucky to find someone as sweet as you.
404
00:17:51,300 --> 00:17:53,100
If we didn't meet this way...
405
00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:54,500
so what, we met this way?
406
00:17:54,500 --> 00:17:56,900
Let's throw caution to the wind
and be a real couple...
407
00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:58,500
No pay-per-dates!
408
00:17:58,500 --> 00:18:00,900
Granddad: I'm under a
2-year pimp-ho contract.
409
00:18:00,900 --> 00:18:03,100
The escort service is run by pimps?
410
00:18:03,300 --> 00:18:05,700
What are they, like huge scary guys?
411
00:18:05,900 --> 00:18:07,900
Granddad: Yeah, they are scary.
412
00:18:08,100 --> 00:18:11,800
[Both moaning]
413
00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:13,900
We can do this, Robert.
414
00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:18,100
I promise you, I'm worth
being bitch-slapped for.
415
00:18:22,300 --> 00:18:25,200
[Bleep] No. Not a
clitoris' chance in Africa
416
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,300
we'll let you out of your contract.
417
00:18:27,300 --> 00:18:28,300
Granddad: [Gasps]
418
00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:29,700
Aaaaaaah!
419
00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:31,700
That's right... you ain't
getting out of your contract now!
420
00:18:31,700 --> 00:18:33,800
- Granddad: Aaaaaaaaaaaah!
- Take that!
421
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,600
What? Stop crying like a punk.
422
00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:38,900
Shut the hell up.
423
00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:41,000
You ain't nothin' but a punk-ass bitch.
424
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:45,000
Take that! Oh, I wish I had more speed.
425
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:54,300
- How'd it go?
- Granddad: We're still in negotiations.
426
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:55,700
It'll be fine.
427
00:18:59,900 --> 00:19:01,900
They're my lonely, bitter girlfriends.
428
00:19:01,900 --> 00:19:04,800
I told them about you, and they
couldn't wait to try you out.
429
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:06,200
Granddad: I thought we...
430
00:19:06,700 --> 00:19:08,300
I just got my ass kicked for you!
431
00:19:08,300 --> 00:19:10,600
I'm kidding! They know we're a couple.
432
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:13,800
But the part about them being
lonely and bitter... True.
433
00:19:14,300 --> 00:19:17,400
Oh, you're just as
handsome as Vanessa said.
434
00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:19,500
And your grandkids are so well-mannered.
435
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:20,900
Where their daddy at?
436
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,000
I bet that no-good nigger
dropped them off with you
437
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,900
and never looked back, right?
438
00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:28,300
We go to church every Sunday
praying we find a man like you.
439
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:29,900
I'm not sure why we keep going.
440
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,900
Only good man in there is Jesus.
441
00:19:32,100 --> 00:19:35,900
Ruckus: Oh, the freaknik circus has come
to town in Robert Freeman's living room.
442
00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:38,300
Girls, that's Ruckus.
443
00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:40,100
He is crazy!
444
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:43,200
But if he's Robert's friend,
then he's my friend, too.
445
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:45,900
Oh, there's my African prince!
446
00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:48,000
[Breathing heavily]
447
00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:50,300
Ruckus: That's right...
I didn't forget your request.
448
00:19:50,300 --> 00:19:53,100
The most powerful black-bitch-begone ever...
449
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,100
a beautiful white woman.
450
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:56,700
[Gasps]
451
00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:58,700
Granddad: No! Make her leave!
452
00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:01,700
Ruckus: That ain't possible.
White women are loyal... for real.
453
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,600
Try to kick her. She'll just love you more.
454
00:20:03,700 --> 00:20:05,600
[Sobbing]
455
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:06,800
I knew this would happen.
456
00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:10,800
Even the old ones gone white like
they're damn NBA players or something.
457
00:20:10,900 --> 00:20:12,100
Granddad: This is all a stupid mistake.
458
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:13,300
I don't even know her.
459
00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:16,200
[Crying] I invested all my money in you.
460
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,900
How could I be so stupid?
461
00:20:18,900 --> 00:20:21,400
Come on, girl. You can do better than that.
462
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,800
Roll your neck around and cuss his ass out.
463
00:20:23,900 --> 00:20:25,800
If you guys are mad, yell at me.
464
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,900
I'm fine with being treated like [bleep].
465
00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:30,400
Granddad: Vanessa, please listen to me!
466
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:31,900
I think you've done enough talking.
467
00:20:31,900 --> 00:20:34,700
Yeah. Go talk to Becky. It's okay, girl.
468
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,000
Huey: After that day,
469
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:39,100
like practically everything else
we've tried to make life better,
470
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:40,700
things fell apart.
471
00:20:40,700 --> 00:20:44,100
Vanessa and her girlfriends had
granddad arrested for prostitution.
472
00:20:44,700 --> 00:20:47,400
I sold my gold-plated
hoo-ha to bail you out.
473
00:20:47,500 --> 00:20:48,800
[Smooches]
474
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:51,200
- [Gasps]
- [Siren wails]
475
00:20:51,700 --> 00:20:55,400
Huey: Of course, granddad had to give
up his bosses to get a lesser charge.
476
00:20:55,400 --> 00:21:03,400
[All shouting]
477
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:08,500
Riley: Aww.
478
00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:11,800
Granddad: Okay, boys. Like every
other bad thing we've been through,
479
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,200
let's forget it ever happened
480
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:15,500
so the three of us can get back
to normal as soon as possible.
481
00:21:15,700 --> 00:21:17,600
Huey: Uh, granddad?
482
00:21:18,300 --> 00:21:20,000
[Scoffs] The three of us?!
483
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,500
Well, which one of these little
boys are you tossing out?
484
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:24,600
'Cause I'm not going anywhere.
485
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:27,600
Ha ha! Nope, not after
all we've been through.
486
00:21:28,100 --> 00:21:30,100
Huey: While I respect your loyalty,
487
00:21:30,100 --> 00:21:32,500
trust me... I'm related to these people,
488
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,400
and if I had a chance to get out...
489
00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:42,800
I heard an NBA star
moved in down the street.
490
00:21:43,300 --> 00:21:44,600
Huh?
491
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:46,800
[Gasps]
492
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:50,500
Really? They're always
looking for girls like me.
493
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,200
Lamar Odom, here I come!
494
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:55,100
[Door opens, closes]
495
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:59,300
Synced by emmasan
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