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Synced by emmasan
www.addic7ed.com
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__
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(Mid-tempo music plays)
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Hey, TV executives!
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Ready for another Kardashian show?
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Good! 'Cause the new
Kardashian has new ideas!
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Hot damn.
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There's just something about her.
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Yep. I love Kardashia.
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Not too much of a man to admit it.
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She has everything I need in a woman.
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Mm-mmm-mmm!
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Yuh-huh.
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It's still edgy, not only 'cause he's black,
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but instead of long money,
he's got long balls.
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I'm talkin' like back of my kneecaps!
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Girl, do you know what you do to me?
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I trick on you?
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(Laughs)
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Yep.
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- You know what you do to me?
- Not really.
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You're secure!
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Like, how you don't get
upset when fans think
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you're my driver or
O.J. Simpson or whatever.
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Upset? They could call me
"fuck bucket fuck you nigga."
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They were outside the limousine.
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(Both laugh)
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You're so funny.
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Hey, kids.
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I got simple rules for granddad's new girls.
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Food? If it's marked with a black
bubble graffiti "R", paws off!
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(Laughs) Ooh!
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Just like you said, feisty!
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Excuse me for a quick second.
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(Chuckles)
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Both: Ouch!
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Damn it! As you know, there has
been a black cloud following us,
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but because of this chick,
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that cloud has opened up
and she's making it rain!
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How long are these cameras gonna be here?
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Long as she wants them.
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Damn it! I thought you read books!
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She is a rich white woman!
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This is how black people get free!
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You think Harriet Tubman could afford to
build all those rail road stations alone?
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Hello?
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Aw, hey.
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Both: Besties!
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Ow. Ow. Ow!
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Somebody help me!
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Fucking cheap-ass weave.
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Sorry I'm late, Kardi.
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My horoscope said keep an eye out
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for career opportunity, then, bam!
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I ran into DMX's cousin's
manager at the mall,
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then again in his studio apartment,
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and twice on his futon.
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I hope he calls me.
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(Grunts)
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That nigga Santa, he didn't
even read my Amazon wish list.
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My food, all yours.
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And, Huey, well, you
didn't have a wish list,
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so I got you the default Kardashian gift.
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A signed Ray J CD?
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You don't like it?
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Like I give two shits
what he or his brother likes.
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Or Kardashia for that matter.
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Besties, my ass.
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If this gets picked up and
I don't get a spin-off show
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I'm-a get a spin-off show called
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Black Assistant Bitches Who
Kill Their Bosses. Believe that.
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Hey, Huey. You want to play
your CD on my new computer?
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Psych. (Laughs)
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Okay, girlie, chop chop!
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We've got that appointment.
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It's not a doctor's appointment, is it?
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You're not sick! God, no!
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God, you can't give me a
gift and then take it away!
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Aww.
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I'm not sick, silly!
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It's just a regular celebrity appointment.
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I get paid a few million to shill a product,
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and people who live in their
mother's basements talk shit
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about how many starving kids the
money I just made could have saved.
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Oh, okay. Have fun.
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Oh.
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Boy, I love that.
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Hater alert!
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Hater alert!
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Hater alert!
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Nigga just mad he didn't get toys!
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(Laughs)
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(Vacuum cleaner running)
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(Vacuum shuts off)
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Why we got to clean, anyway?
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Because we may be on national television.
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(Doorbell rings)
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That must be Kardashia.
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It may be time to give her a key.
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Come on, homie! Bench!
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Dancing With The Stars?
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Hey! What the hell?
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(Grunting)
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Who the hell are you?
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I'm Kardashia's half-brother.
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Oh.
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I'm sorry.
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I didn't know the Kardashians had a brother.
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Yeah, well, I didn't know I had some
floozy half-sister who was gonna pop up.
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Family is a blessing.
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No, it's not!
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I was up next.
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Now my show's pushed back.
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Finally, I had a chance to be famous,
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to spend new year's in Vegas
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instead of going on some date
with an autistic teen mom.
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Damn that Make-A-Wish Foundation!
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Sorry.
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The only reason chicks bang
me is to get to my sisters.
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Man, I'm just looking for the right homie
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to help me get my own show!
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I am gonna be the latest
Kardashian to inspire young girls.
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Like, my nonprofit Believe In
Yourself! You Can Be Anorexic!
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Has already raised like
2,000 pounds of celery!
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(Glass shatters)
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Her butt, it got bigger.
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It just broke your
"Perfect Attendance" award!
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So? I could just make another one.
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This show has to get picked up,
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and then we just have to stay together
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for at least the first season.
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Really?
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People don't want to watch
an old broke dude on TV!
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This is bullshit.
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Roll with that if you want to, homie.
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I mean, if you like getting played.
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Depending on the parameters,
I'm perfectly fine with that.
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(Glass shattering)
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Look at our living room!
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Why is everyone acting blind?
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Everything looks fine to me.
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Bench, take your wonderful ideas
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and go pitch your own show!
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Always hanging around here, being jealous!
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Jealous of what?
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Why be jealous when I can do this?
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Seriously, I am like a
huge business person, okay?
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I'm a businesswoman and,
like, this whole thing,
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I can't even Google myself, because,
like, too many hits come up, okay?
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You're a stupid jerk. You
know what I am? I'm a dancer.
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That's right, a professional dancer.
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I pop and lock.
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I pop and lock.
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Screw you!
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You're only half-Kardashian.
Where'd you come from anyway?
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- I can't even believe it.
- Whoa!
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Sit still on the damn couch!
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It's not me! It's Huey!
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It's her! It's her butt!
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Look how big it got!
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It's fake!
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I'm sorry. What?
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Huey's butt accusation, it really hurt me.
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So I decided to be the
strong, tough woman I am
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and give him a piece of my mind.
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(Crying)
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I'm sorry, baby.
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(Sobbing)
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Apologize!
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Sorry.
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You're taking their side!
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You're never on my side!
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If these cameras weren't on,
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I'd beat you so bad, you'd
look like impressionist art.
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(Sniffs)
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Oh, so you did like the
Monet painting I sent you.
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I told you!
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Take your ass outside!
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(Laughing)
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You too!
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Man, what's the deal with her?
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Riley: I don't know.
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Huey: Her butt keeps getting bigger.
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There's something going on.
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I don't care.
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I'm-a be in my rich girl-
provided weatherproof tent.
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You keep being ass Columbo.
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Unzip me when you crack the case.
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Granddad is powerless over her ass.
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You saw what happened.
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Her butt's gonna destroy everything.
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Not my problem.
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Seriously, one more scene of just
driving that heifer to appointments
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and I swear, I'll drop her ass
off at the Basketball Wives
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set with a sign that says
"I fucked your man."
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(Door opens)
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Hey, pretty girl!
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(Beeping)
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It is such bullshit that this is illegal.
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Eh, not really.
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I'm putting used Jell-O shots
and petroleum in your ass.
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Whatever it takes to keep
up with the Kardashians!
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(Air hissing)
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Okay, how about a game-show idea?
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Boxers Or Briefs.
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If the contestant guesses wrong,
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they have to sleep with everyone.
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You know, it's never bad to have two ideas
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when we're pitching shows.
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Got it! Terrorist Or Italian?
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Because those hairy motherfuckers,
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they look alike.
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Love your style, granddad. Call you soon.
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00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:42,180
'Sup, Huey?
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Why are you inside?
216
00:09:43,650 --> 00:09:45,450
Because I have something important to say.
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I have something important to say, too,
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shut up and get back outside.
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Granddad, if I knew something
bad was about to happen,
220
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you'd want me to tell you, right?
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Mmm, no, not really.
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Every single black man who
has touched a Kardashian ass,
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00:10:03,337 --> 00:10:04,703
something goes wrong.
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00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:06,204
Their brain gets sucked out.
225
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:08,573
There was this one rapper
who went from saying
226
00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:11,509
"George Bush doesn't
care about black people!"
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to wearing a leather kilt.
228
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Leather!
229
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:17,682
I saw kardashia at a
place called Fake Cakes.
230
00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:19,084
It's near that illegal pinochle spot
231
00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:21,453
where you used to leave me
in the car while you played.
232
00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:24,456
Just wanted you to know what
kind of "reality" you're getting.
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00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:26,891
What I'm getting? I'm getting laid.
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00:10:26,893 --> 00:10:27,692
I'm getting money.
235
00:10:27,694 --> 00:10:28,860
I'm getting our freedom papers.
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00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:32,731
And with those three things,
nothing can ever go wrong!
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00:10:34,233 --> 00:10:35,500
(Giggles)
238
00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:37,335
God, I like you.
239
00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:38,236
Maybe I'm naive,
240
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:41,039
but I just get the feeling
that you like me for me,
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not my fame or my money.
242
00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:46,077
Fame? Who needs that?
243
00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:47,312
Nope, don't need fame.
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With what we build, we're gonna show
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that love can work even if
your man doesn't have a 401(K).
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00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:54,552
401k?
247
00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:57,122
A marathon that long would wreck my knees.
248
00:10:57,124 --> 00:11:01,593
Look, can I give you the
ultimate in cable-series love?
249
00:11:01,861 --> 00:11:05,563
You gonna try to trap me
by getting pregnant?
250
00:11:05,631 --> 00:11:08,500
Shut up! I didn't want to seem too eager!
251
00:11:08,502 --> 00:11:09,801
Pregnant? Ew!
252
00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:11,002
I'll get fat or whatever.
253
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:15,573
No, silly, a promise ring
during the season finale.
254
00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:16,408
Then it's a deal.
255
00:11:16,410 --> 00:11:19,544
Let me get your best yellow wine!
256
00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:20,478
(Gasping)
257
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,580
Whoa! What's the attitude for?
258
00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:26,751
You knew I appreciated the finer
things before we got promised!
259
00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:28,386
What the hell?
260
00:11:28,888 --> 00:11:30,321
Uh!
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00:11:32,158 --> 00:11:35,627
Oh, my God! Look at her butt!
262
00:11:35,629 --> 00:11:36,795
Aaaah!
263
00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:38,630
(All scream)
264
00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:45,617
(Monitors beeping)
265
00:11:45,617 --> 00:11:47,774
Please! Please!
266
00:11:47,776 --> 00:11:49,575
Baby, wake up!
267
00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:50,543
Could you please stop?
268
00:11:50,545 --> 00:11:54,280
Every time you do that,
you're actually kind of killing her.
269
00:11:54,282 --> 00:11:55,782
Sorry.
270
00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:58,084
So, what's the latest, doctor?
271
00:11:58,086 --> 00:12:00,987
Well, after billing her insurance
for every test possible
272
00:12:00,989 --> 00:12:02,388
because, let's face it, the longer I'm gone,
273
00:12:02,390 --> 00:12:03,656
the harder you think I'm working,
274
00:12:03,658 --> 00:12:06,426
I think I've figured out the problem.
275
00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:08,828
Her ass exploded.
276
00:12:08,830 --> 00:12:11,030
I have friends with lots of extra ass!
277
00:12:11,032 --> 00:12:11,697
Can we donate?
278
00:12:11,699 --> 00:12:13,966
Well, it's always tough
on friends and family
279
00:12:13,968 --> 00:12:15,635
when a person's ass gets this big,
280
00:12:15,637 --> 00:12:16,836
but I'm afraid we just have to wait.
281
00:12:16,838 --> 00:12:19,772
Unfortunately, you might have
to make some tough decisions.
282
00:12:19,774 --> 00:12:23,943
This is one of the worst cases
of AAAS I've ever seen.
283
00:12:23,945 --> 00:12:25,344
That's A.A.A.S.,
284
00:12:25,346 --> 00:12:27,280
ass augmentation addiction syndrome.
285
00:12:27,282 --> 00:12:29,949
Doc, you got to make her
live! This isn't fair!
286
00:12:29,951 --> 00:12:31,984
Fair? Life tends not to be fair
287
00:12:31,986 --> 00:12:35,655
when you start shoving foreign
objects into your keister.
288
00:12:35,657 --> 00:12:36,222
Sorry about that.
289
00:12:36,224 --> 00:12:38,191
We've got a dedicated team of doctors here.
290
00:12:38,193 --> 00:12:40,526
I promise, we'll try our best.
291
00:12:42,963 --> 00:12:44,263
(Curtain rustles)
292
00:12:44,265 --> 00:12:45,565
Call the chaplain and the morgue
293
00:12:45,567 --> 00:12:47,500
for the stupid girl in the ass room!
294
00:12:47,502 --> 00:12:48,701
(All gasp)
295
00:12:48,703 --> 00:12:51,671
Come on! We just can't
sit around here and wait!
296
00:12:51,673 --> 00:12:53,606
I know! We'll start a walk-a-thon!
297
00:12:53,608 --> 00:12:57,109
They cured breast cancer.
I'm sure it'll cure this.
298
00:12:57,111 --> 00:12:59,145
No! You want a chance to shine?
299
00:12:59,147 --> 00:13:00,112
Here's your chance.
300
00:13:00,114 --> 00:13:02,448
We're gonna get justice for your sister
301
00:13:02,450 --> 00:13:04,217
and show how much we care.
302
00:13:04,219 --> 00:13:05,952
Now, follow me, Bench. Oh, by the way,
303
00:13:05,954 --> 00:13:09,989
if anyone from the pinochle place
say I owe them money, haul ass.
304
00:13:09,991 --> 00:13:12,792
(Indistinct conversations)
305
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:17,129
Ooh, look at her.
306
00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:19,031
Oh, she look good.
307
00:13:19,033 --> 00:13:21,634
I would give my ass for that ass.
308
00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:27,406
(Air hissing)
309
00:13:30,544 --> 00:13:32,111
Aah!
310
00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:36,582
So you get off on getting my
Kardashia all strung out on ass?
311
00:13:36,584 --> 00:13:39,252
I don't know what you're talking about. Unh!
312
00:13:39,254 --> 00:13:41,354
Oh, you don't know?
313
00:13:41,455 --> 00:13:42,355
Did that show you?
314
00:13:42,357 --> 00:13:44,690
Bench, help me show this motherfucker.
315
00:13:44,692 --> 00:13:46,025
Uh-huh.
316
00:13:46,027 --> 00:13:47,059
This is cool.
317
00:13:47,061 --> 00:13:48,060
No, God damn it!
318
00:13:48,062 --> 00:13:49,295
Open hand means put something in it
319
00:13:49,297 --> 00:13:51,597
so I can hit this punk-ass doctor.
320
00:13:51,599 --> 00:13:53,366
Hold up. I'm the sidekick?
321
00:13:53,368 --> 00:13:55,001
She's my dying half-sister!
322
00:13:55,003 --> 00:13:57,937
I came up with all the show ideas!
323
00:13:58,438 --> 00:14:00,239
(Sighs)
324
00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:04,043
What's taking granddad so long?
325
00:14:04,045 --> 00:14:05,311
I'm hungry.
326
00:14:05,313 --> 00:14:05,845
(Deflating)
327
00:14:05,847 --> 00:14:08,848
Woman over P.A.: Cleanup on
bed number three, stat.
328
00:14:08,850 --> 00:14:10,650
This place is depressing.
329
00:14:10,652 --> 00:14:11,751
If I'm about to die,
330
00:14:11,753 --> 00:14:13,219
promise you'll just pull the plug.
331
00:14:13,221 --> 00:14:16,656
Nigga, if I'm about to die, keep me alive.
332
00:14:16,658 --> 00:14:17,356
I want to be a burden,
333
00:14:17,358 --> 00:14:20,660
I want my feet clean,
I want my diaper changed.
334
00:14:20,662 --> 00:14:23,696
Keep my ass fresh until they find a cure.
335
00:14:23,698 --> 00:14:25,998
Man, for real. I'm starving.
336
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,334
We got to get some food.
337
00:14:28,336 --> 00:14:30,536
(Both crying)
338
00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:36,809
Well, that person didn't finish his lunch.
339
00:14:36,811 --> 00:14:38,911
I'm up in that piece.
340
00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:41,614
Aah!
341
00:14:41,616 --> 00:14:43,983
Old woman: Don't scream. It's okay!
342
00:14:43,985 --> 00:14:46,352
I give food to the hungry.
343
00:14:46,354 --> 00:14:47,620
I'm Mother Maria.
344
00:14:47,622 --> 00:14:51,524
Come in, young skinny black child.
345
00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:54,026
Yeah, you're the damn sidekick.
346
00:14:54,028 --> 00:14:57,897
You came up with the other
shows, but this is my idea.
347
00:14:58,031 --> 00:14:59,465
Hey!
348
00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:02,802
Where you going? I'm not done with you.
349
00:15:02,804 --> 00:15:05,338
Sidekicks are really the most important.
350
00:15:05,340 --> 00:15:07,039
Audiences love them!
351
00:15:07,041 --> 00:15:07,840
Robin the Boy Wonder,
352
00:15:07,842 --> 00:15:10,743
that Fantasy Island tattoo guy, Chewbacca!
353
00:15:10,745 --> 00:15:12,812
Why don't we all just calm down?
354
00:15:12,814 --> 00:15:14,080
Don't tell me what to do!
355
00:15:14,082 --> 00:15:15,781
I need some kind of revenge for my lady!
356
00:15:15,783 --> 00:15:18,384
She's lying there about
to die because of you!
357
00:15:18,386 --> 00:15:19,518
I didn't force her to do anything!
358
00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:23,389
I told her, even an Armenian
girl's caboose has its limits.
359
00:15:23,391 --> 00:15:25,391
She knew the risks!
360
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:27,593
I'm tired of this.
361
00:15:27,595 --> 00:15:29,695
Matter of fact, I'm done talking.
362
00:15:29,697 --> 00:15:30,763
Hit him, Bench.
363
00:15:30,765 --> 00:15:33,299
Trust me, be Chewbacca!
364
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:35,868
(Roars)
365
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:36,836
Unh!
366
00:15:36,838 --> 00:15:40,539
Don't you ever fuck with
us or anyone we love.
367
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:43,342
No, no! Could you not do that?
368
00:15:43,344 --> 00:15:44,877
(Air hissing)
369
00:15:45,946 --> 00:15:48,581
Ha ha! You're gonna have a butt face!
370
00:15:48,583 --> 00:15:52,818
Yes, I spent my whole
life feeding the hungry.
371
00:15:52,820 --> 00:15:55,087
I fed many brown babies.
372
00:15:55,089 --> 00:15:57,356
Mostly the words of Jesus.
373
00:15:57,358 --> 00:15:59,291
Sadly, many died.
374
00:15:59,293 --> 00:16:03,129
You know what's really important in life?
375
00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:05,064
(Snores)
376
00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:07,600
Riley: Hey!
377
00:16:08,669 --> 00:16:10,069
Looking out for others.
378
00:16:10,071 --> 00:16:13,506
I guess it all started when
I was a nurse in the war.
379
00:16:13,508 --> 00:16:18,177
I used my pantyhose as
tourniquets for the troops.
380
00:16:18,179 --> 00:16:20,746
Looks like you've lived a full life.
381
00:16:20,748 --> 00:16:21,714
Oh, I have.
382
00:16:21,716 --> 00:16:22,415
Ha! Those medals,
383
00:16:22,417 --> 00:16:26,819
even got one from the vice
presidente after World War II.
384
00:16:26,821 --> 00:16:29,789
Yep, he gave me a medal and some smokes.
385
00:16:29,791 --> 00:16:34,093
Would have been nice if he'd
visited me when I had emphysema.
386
00:16:34,095 --> 00:16:35,895
(Coughing)
387
00:16:37,631 --> 00:16:39,932
Well, who do you usually talk to?
388
00:16:39,934 --> 00:16:41,400
Don't you have visitors?
389
00:16:41,402 --> 00:16:44,770
Eh, no one cares about an old broke lady.
390
00:16:44,772 --> 00:16:46,539
Plus, there's some celebrity in here.
391
00:16:46,541 --> 00:16:49,175
They say she's got the
whole floor locked down.
392
00:16:49,177 --> 00:16:52,878
I can't even get a nurse
to change my diaper.
393
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:55,681
Ew! I ain't hungry now.
394
00:16:55,683 --> 00:16:57,116
Ah, but I forgive her
395
00:16:57,118 --> 00:16:58,350
and all the people around her.
396
00:16:58,352 --> 00:17:01,353
Boys, there's great power in forgiveness,
397
00:17:01,355 --> 00:17:06,959
self-sacrifice, and
thinking of yourself last.
398
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:11,664
First plan, you keep her alive long
enough to make sure we in the will.
399
00:17:11,666 --> 00:17:14,834
Plan "B", she dies, you break
out the tape and pitch the show.
400
00:17:14,836 --> 00:17:19,739
We threaten to go public and show
America we're the only ones who care!
401
00:17:19,741 --> 00:17:20,339
Mmm-hmm.
402
00:17:20,341 --> 00:17:23,809
Seriously, what other men in
her life would have done that?
403
00:17:23,811 --> 00:17:26,545
You keep forgetting I just met this chick.
404
00:17:26,547 --> 00:17:29,582
And may we one day get to a world
405
00:17:29,584 --> 00:17:30,750
where no porcelain goddess
406
00:17:30,752 --> 00:17:34,120
feels the need to pump up her beautiful
407
00:17:34,122 --> 00:17:38,224
ironing-board-flat ass to
airbag-sized proportions
408
00:17:38,226 --> 00:17:41,594
just to attract some five-time baby-daddy
409
00:17:41,596 --> 00:17:44,663
bad-free-throwing nigga athlete.
410
00:17:44,665 --> 00:17:46,332
Amen.
411
00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:50,503
Hey! Ruckus, what the
hell are you doing here?
412
00:17:50,505 --> 00:17:51,837
This is a serious matter!
413
00:17:51,839 --> 00:17:52,838
Oh, I know it's serious.
414
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:56,642
Word 'round the street is that
you living a serious nigga dream.
415
00:17:56,644 --> 00:17:59,411
Oh, you got your own personal ATM
416
00:17:59,413 --> 00:18:01,380
in the form of a rich white girl.
417
00:18:01,382 --> 00:18:03,716
Oh, and she ain't just any kind of white.
418
00:18:03,718 --> 00:18:04,350
She Armenian,
419
00:18:04,352 --> 00:18:07,586
from the home of the
glorious Caucus Mountains.
420
00:18:07,588 --> 00:18:09,855
Get it? Caucasus. Caucasian!
421
00:18:09,857 --> 00:18:10,556
We see what you doing.
422
00:18:10,558 --> 00:18:14,326
Oh, ruckus, what's wrong with a
young woman spending on an old man?
423
00:18:14,328 --> 00:18:15,528
Reverse happen all the time.
424
00:18:15,530 --> 00:18:17,696
Oh, it just ain't natural, Robert.
425
00:18:17,698 --> 00:18:18,397
It ain't natural.
426
00:18:18,399 --> 00:18:21,233
Men are supposed to be the
strong heads of household.
427
00:18:21,235 --> 00:18:25,104
White women's job is to make
sammiches and look pretty.
428
00:18:25,106 --> 00:18:28,307
Now, once ladies start
controlling the purse strings,
429
00:18:28,309 --> 00:18:29,375
things get crazy!
430
00:18:29,377 --> 00:18:30,643
They just let themselves go.
431
00:18:30,645 --> 00:18:34,346
Hell, we got a career woman
right now down in 232.
432
00:18:34,348 --> 00:18:37,783
Bitch lost her cellphone
in her own body fat.
433
00:18:37,785 --> 00:18:39,685
Now that I hooked you up with camera-time,
434
00:18:39,687 --> 00:18:42,955
you better introduce me to LeBron for real.
435
00:18:42,957 --> 00:18:46,292
And if you ever have a
baby die in your arms,
436
00:18:46,294 --> 00:18:50,696
you'll notice a peace and
a certain sweet smell.
437
00:18:50,698 --> 00:18:52,531
Like bartlett pears, almost.
438
00:18:52,533 --> 00:18:55,901
Look, go on, kids. I don't want to bore you.
439
00:18:55,903 --> 00:18:57,636
I guess when you get to be my age,
440
00:18:57,638 --> 00:19:00,239
you just want a little
attention, that's all.
441
00:19:00,241 --> 00:19:02,208
I think we know where that girl is
442
00:19:02,210 --> 00:19:03,742
who's hogging the nurses.
443
00:19:03,744 --> 00:19:04,977
We'll get one for you.
444
00:19:04,979 --> 00:19:07,112
God bless you, son.
445
00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:12,451
Let's go, Riley.
446
00:19:12,453 --> 00:19:13,752
I know. Damn.
447
00:19:13,754 --> 00:19:17,723
She got a nigga feeling all
unhungry and emotional.
448
00:19:17,725 --> 00:19:19,458
Come on, squeeze my hand, baby.
449
00:19:19,460 --> 00:19:21,460
Let me know you're still there.
450
00:19:21,462 --> 00:19:22,461
Okay, don't squeeze my hand
451
00:19:22,463 --> 00:19:26,098
if you want me to be the
sole beneficiary in your will.
452
00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:27,533
She didn't squeeze. You got that?
453
00:19:27,535 --> 00:19:29,368
Come on, man. Have some dignity.
454
00:19:29,370 --> 00:19:30,469
Let's just pull the plug.
455
00:19:30,471 --> 00:19:31,871
This gravy train is a wrap for all of us.
456
00:19:31,873 --> 00:19:35,708
We're not pulling the plug until
you recognize that non-squeeze.
457
00:19:35,710 --> 00:19:37,109
Just pull the damn plug.
458
00:19:37,111 --> 00:19:38,844
If she lives, she'll be deformed.
459
00:19:38,846 --> 00:19:41,347
What kind of shitty life is that?
460
00:19:41,349 --> 00:19:44,817
(Crying)
461
00:19:46,086 --> 00:19:47,219
Damn it! My lady is not dying
462
00:19:47,221 --> 00:19:49,455
until we've had a real
benefits talk up in here!
463
00:19:49,457 --> 00:19:54,226
Oh! Did I hear a nigga
raising his voice in the I.C.U.?
464
00:19:54,228 --> 00:19:55,527
Okay, nigga, that's it!
465
00:19:55,529 --> 00:19:58,163
Your government benefits have expired!
466
00:19:58,165 --> 00:19:58,731
Come with me.
467
00:19:58,733 --> 00:20:01,233
If you don't get your
damn hands off of me...
468
00:20:01,235 --> 00:20:02,434
Hey, guys! Did you know there's
469
00:20:02,436 --> 00:20:06,672
a really important lady
out there who's really sick?
470
00:20:07,774 --> 00:20:09,308
Wow, this is boring.
471
00:20:09,310 --> 00:20:11,577
I'll go see if she's hot.
472
00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:15,748
(Monitor beeping)
473
00:20:17,284 --> 00:20:18,918
(Crying)
474
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:20,286
I hear the sad-song cue.
475
00:20:20,288 --> 00:20:23,455
I know it means something
bad is about to happen.
476
00:20:23,457 --> 00:20:25,424
I watch Grey's.
477
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,861
Hoo, we're in crisis mode.
478
00:20:28,863 --> 00:20:29,929
Only one way to save her,
479
00:20:29,931 --> 00:20:31,730
a full butt-to-butt blood transfusion.
480
00:20:31,732 --> 00:20:33,699
Does anyone know where I can find
481
00:20:33,701 --> 00:20:35,401
a huge ass full of AB blood?
482
00:20:35,403 --> 00:20:37,469
Wait. AB blood?
483
00:20:37,471 --> 00:20:40,272
The Kardashians have always been O's.
484
00:20:40,274 --> 00:20:41,740
I am out of here!
485
00:20:41,742 --> 00:20:44,176
So, people with "O" blood
can't have AB children?
486
00:20:44,178 --> 00:20:46,378
No, never. AB with "O"? No.
487
00:20:46,380 --> 00:20:47,880
- You see, the genetics...
- Damn!
488
00:20:47,882 --> 00:20:50,516
I got to make one quick
call to my son's father.
489
00:20:50,518 --> 00:20:52,685
Shit's about to get real.
490
00:20:53,186 --> 00:20:55,921
So that means she's a
fake? Ain't that a bitch.
491
00:20:55,923 --> 00:20:59,391
(Scoffs) Ain't it? I just lost my job.
492
00:21:02,162 --> 00:21:05,431
Granddad, look, she's moving her hand.
493
00:21:05,433 --> 00:21:07,199
(Groans)
494
00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:11,303
I just wanted to be on TV.
495
00:21:16,176 --> 00:21:18,243
Granddad: Let's go, kids.
496
00:21:21,081 --> 00:21:23,182
(Flatline)
497
00:21:29,389 --> 00:21:31,657
Look, stop with the war and kids stuff.
498
00:21:31,659 --> 00:21:36,061
You want someone to hear
your story, make it raw.
499
00:21:41,101 --> 00:21:42,868
Yes, I fucked Eisenhower.
500
00:21:42,870 --> 00:21:45,604
And back then, it was
harder when you put out.
501
00:21:45,606 --> 00:21:47,740
Syphilis could kill you.
502
00:21:47,742 --> 00:21:48,507
Oh, my God.
503
00:21:48,509 --> 00:21:51,677
I'd be dead like four times already.
504
00:21:51,679 --> 00:21:53,512
Girl, you are a natural.
505
00:21:53,514 --> 00:21:56,949
We can stretch this over 13 episodes!
506
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:04,100
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