1
00:00:02,077 --> 00:00:03,544
GRANDDAD:
To whom it may concern.
2
00:00:03,544 --> 00:00:04,711
This is
Robert J. Freeman,
3
00:00:04,711 --> 00:00:06,577
astrophysicist,
soccer star,
4
00:00:06,577 --> 00:00:08,777
ex-UFC welterweight
champion.
5
00:00:08,777 --> 00:00:11,244
For many of you, this will be
the last time hearing from me.
6
00:00:11,244 --> 00:00:13,744
For as of today, I am deleting
my Facebook account forever.
7
00:00:13,744 --> 00:00:15,310
I launched this page
with high hopes
8
00:00:15,310 --> 00:00:17,143
that it might help me find
a woman to love me
9
00:00:17,143 --> 00:00:19,310
on those lonely nights when
I'm not jetting around
10
00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:20,711
the world fighting terrorism.
11
00:00:20,711 --> 00:00:22,911
But all you bitches turned out
to be bat-shit crazy.
12
00:00:22,911 --> 00:00:24,410
Like that bat-shit crazy
Carlita,
13
00:00:24,410 --> 00:00:26,444
the Dominican drug-queen.
14
00:00:26,444 --> 00:00:29,444
An average-sized man
can smuggle more cocaine
15
00:00:29,444 --> 00:00:31,511
in his rectum than you think.
16
00:00:32,744 --> 00:00:34,077
Or that bat-shit crazy Tara,
17
00:00:34,077 --> 00:00:35,744
who tried to kidnap
my grandson Riley.
18
00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:37,377
He's just adorable!
19
00:00:37,377 --> 00:00:39,444
I can't give him back!
You can't make me!
20
00:00:39,444 --> 00:00:40,744
You can't make me!
21
00:00:40,744 --> 00:00:43,744
And that bat-shit
crazy Dr. Ellen Jackson,
22
00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:46,477
who lured me with promises
of romance and free checkups,
23
00:00:46,477 --> 00:00:49,277
and then tried
to harvest my organs.
24
00:00:49,277 --> 00:00:51,644
[SCREAMS AND GRUNTS]
25
00:00:51,644 --> 00:00:53,244
From now on,
I'm out of the game.
26
00:00:53,244 --> 00:00:55,077
Fortunately,
I don't blame myself.
27
00:00:55,077 --> 00:00:56,511
I blame all of you.
28
00:00:56,511 --> 00:00:58,611
I know many of you ladies
are saying, "No, Robert!
29
00:00:58,611 --> 00:01:00,577
You can't take that
good loving away from us!"
30
00:01:00,577 --> 00:01:02,277
Well, it's too late.
It's gone forever.
31
00:01:02,277 --> 00:01:04,477
And so, with no regrets,
I hereby commit
32
00:01:04,477 --> 00:01:06,210
Facebook hari-kari.
33
00:01:07,377 --> 00:01:09,544
[EXHALES]
34
00:01:09,544 --> 00:01:12,143
Delete!
35
00:01:12,143 --> 00:01:13,711
* I am the stone
The builder refused *
36
00:01:13,711 --> 00:01:15,177
* I am the visual
The inspiration *
37
00:01:15,177 --> 00:01:16,644
* That made lady
Sing the blues *
38
00:01:16,644 --> 00:01:18,544
* I'm the spark
That makes your idea bright *
39
00:01:18,544 --> 00:01:20,143
* The same spark
That lights the dark *
40
00:01:20,143 --> 00:01:21,878
* So that you can know
Left from right *
41
00:01:21,878 --> 00:01:24,143
* I am the ballot in your box
The bullet in the gun *
42
00:01:24,143 --> 00:01:25,644
* The inner glow
That lets you know *
43
00:01:25,644 --> 00:01:26,844
* To call your brother sun *
44
00:01:26,844 --> 00:01:28,143
* The story that just begun *
45
00:01:28,143 --> 00:01:29,511
* The promise
Of what's to come *
46
00:01:29,511 --> 00:01:30,711
* And I'm 'a remain a soldier *
47
00:01:30,711 --> 00:01:32,644
* Till the war is won
Won *
48
00:01:32,644 --> 00:01:35,277
* Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip *
49
00:01:35,277 --> 00:01:37,944
* Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip *
50
00:01:37,944 --> 00:01:40,544
* Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip *
51
00:01:40,544 --> 00:01:41,911
* Chop, chop, chop *
52
00:01:45,544 --> 00:01:47,143
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
53
00:01:47,143 --> 00:01:48,344
TOM:
Man, this weekly jog
54
00:01:48,344 --> 00:01:50,043
was a great idea, wasn't it?
55
00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:52,010
Look at us.
We're workout buddies.
56
00:01:52,010 --> 00:01:53,110
Hey, speaking of buddies,
57
00:01:53,110 --> 00:01:55,344
I read your Facebook
suicide note, man.
58
00:01:55,344 --> 00:01:56,944
Uh, I'm really sorry.
59
00:01:56,944 --> 00:01:58,477
I'm not just giving up
on Facebook,
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00:01:58,477 --> 00:02:00,177
I'm giving up on women.
It's pointless.
61
00:02:00,177 --> 00:02:01,577
These women out here
are insane.
62
00:02:01,577 --> 00:02:03,377
Robert, Robert,
the key to happiness
63
00:02:03,377 --> 00:02:06,043
is to eliminate all black women
from your life.
64
00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:08,477
I mean, look at me.
No black women in my life.
65
00:02:08,477 --> 00:02:09,677
Look how happy I am.
66
00:02:09,677 --> 00:02:11,210
I'm happy as a nigga
with a new gun.
67
00:02:11,210 --> 00:02:13,043
Now, Ruckus,
that is preposterous.
68
00:02:13,043 --> 00:02:15,244
Oh, preposterous? Preposterous.
Really? Really?
69
00:02:15,244 --> 00:02:16,878
Answer me a question:
Is you happy?
70
00:02:16,878 --> 00:02:19,110
Sure am.
Uh-huh. See?
71
00:02:19,110 --> 00:02:20,811
No black women
in his life neither.
72
00:02:20,811 --> 00:02:22,711
Nigga-free and that's
how he need to be.
73
00:02:22,711 --> 00:02:24,477
Just because I'm married
to a white woman
74
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:27,043
doesn't mean there's a single
thing wrong with black women.
75
00:02:27,043 --> 00:02:28,477
But you did marry
a white woman.
76
00:02:28,477 --> 00:02:31,010
You have to find the woman
who makes you happy, Robert.
77
00:02:31,010 --> 00:02:32,744
Well, black women
don't wanna be happy.
78
00:02:32,744 --> 00:02:34,644
They squeeze out about
seven or eight of them
79
00:02:34,644 --> 00:02:37,143
little nappy-headed children
by the time they 21,
80
00:02:37,143 --> 00:02:38,410
it's all downhill from there.
81
00:02:38,410 --> 00:02:39,978
[PANTING]
82
00:02:39,978 --> 00:02:41,377
Look at that.
83
00:02:41,377 --> 00:02:43,911
Oh, that woman's body over
there, that's a temple.
84
00:02:43,911 --> 00:02:45,978
A black woman's body
is the Temple of Doom.
85
00:02:45,978 --> 00:02:48,777
When was the last time you saw
a black woman jogging, Robert?
86
00:02:48,777 --> 00:02:50,043
Ask yourself that question.
87
00:02:50,043 --> 00:02:51,344
And I ain't talking about them
88
00:02:51,344 --> 00:02:53,143
super steroided shemales
89
00:02:53,143 --> 00:02:55,444
in the Olympics that tuck
they testicles up, either.
90
00:02:55,444 --> 00:02:57,043
Well, come to think of it...
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00:02:57,043 --> 00:02:58,711
Ah-ha.
That's what I thought.
92
00:02:58,711 --> 00:03:01,344
You ain't never seen it
because black women don't jog,
93
00:03:01,344 --> 00:03:02,811
that way they don't sweat out
94
00:03:02,811 --> 00:03:04,477
all them industrial-strength
95
00:03:04,477 --> 00:03:06,177
toxic avenger
chemicals they use
96
00:03:06,177 --> 00:03:07,410
to straighten up they hair.
97
00:03:07,410 --> 00:03:08,978
Mm, Sarah loves to jog.
98
00:03:08,978 --> 00:03:11,143
Well, of course she do.
Sarah is a human being.
99
00:03:11,143 --> 00:03:13,377
Okay, fellas,
enough of the guy talk,
100
00:03:13,377 --> 00:03:15,143
gibber-gabber,
talkie-talk.
101
00:03:15,143 --> 00:03:17,344
Can we just start
running already? Come on.
102
00:03:17,344 --> 00:03:18,544
[LAUGHS]
103
00:03:18,544 --> 00:03:20,244
You coming?
I ain't running with y'all
104
00:03:20,244 --> 00:03:21,344
two niggas in the park.
105
00:03:21,344 --> 00:03:23,077
Police might shoot me
by mistake.
106
00:03:23,077 --> 00:03:24,143
[GRUNTS]
107
00:03:24,143 --> 00:03:25,878
See you on the
other side, nigga.
108
00:03:28,310 --> 00:03:29,444
[***]
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00:03:29,444 --> 00:03:31,511
Oh.
110
00:03:33,544 --> 00:03:36,511
* Doo-doo-doo-doo-dee *
111
00:03:36,511 --> 00:03:37,777
Mm.
112
00:03:37,777 --> 00:03:39,277
Mm, mm, mm.
113
00:03:43,277 --> 00:03:45,944
* I know you're
The one for me, baby *
114
00:03:45,944 --> 00:03:47,677
I'm sorry, you don't mind
115
00:03:47,677 --> 00:03:48,811
if I stop here, do you?
116
00:03:48,811 --> 00:03:50,944
Uh, no.
You... You're jogging?
117
00:03:50,944 --> 00:03:53,344
Well, just love keeping
myself in shape.
118
00:03:53,344 --> 00:03:55,177
It's murder on my hair,
but you know,
119
00:03:55,177 --> 00:03:57,611
no point in having the best
hair at my own funeral.
120
00:03:57,611 --> 00:04:00,844
Ebony.
Ebony Brown.
121
00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:05,244
Boys, guess what.
122
00:04:05,244 --> 00:04:07,410
I met a woman,
and she asked me out on a date.
123
00:04:07,410 --> 00:04:08,911
HUEY: Grab the gun.
RILEY: Got it.
124
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You get the sword.
[GUN COCKS]
125
00:04:10,377 --> 00:04:11,944
Hurry up, get to the car.
126
00:04:11,944 --> 00:04:14,010
Where she at? Do we need
to sneak out the back?
127
00:04:14,010 --> 00:04:15,477
I like this one.
She's different.
128
00:04:15,477 --> 00:04:17,277
Your dating life has been
a serious threat
129
00:04:17,277 --> 00:04:19,577
to the safety of you,
the people in this house...
130
00:04:19,577 --> 00:04:21,344
And really the entire
neighborhood.
131
00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:22,844
Not her, I met her at the park.
132
00:04:22,844 --> 00:04:25,477
What was she doing in the park
in the middle of the day? Huh?
133
00:04:25,477 --> 00:04:26,944
She was jogging.
She looking for
134
00:04:26,944 --> 00:04:28,878
some lonely old man
to take advantage of.
135
00:04:28,878 --> 00:04:30,611
Really?
I guess it's possible.
136
00:04:30,611 --> 00:04:33,210
Know what? I'm gonna call her
and cancel our date.
137
00:04:33,210 --> 00:04:34,944
Can you just take
it slow this time?
138
00:04:34,944 --> 00:04:36,210
Maybe not bring her back here
139
00:04:36,210 --> 00:04:38,077
until you're sure she's safe.
Never mind.
140
00:04:38,077 --> 00:04:40,544
I said I was giving up on women
and that's what I'm gonna do.
141
00:04:40,544 --> 00:04:42,811
Maybe your problem with women
is you pick crazy ones.
142
00:04:42,811 --> 00:04:44,244
But you can't hold that against
143
00:04:44,244 --> 00:04:46,444
every new woman you meet.
Don't you always complain
144
00:04:46,444 --> 00:04:48,410
about women who can't
let go of their baggage?
145
00:04:48,410 --> 00:04:50,978
Don't be a hypocrite, Granddad.
146
00:04:50,978 --> 00:04:52,844
Be a hypocrite, Granddad.
147
00:04:52,844 --> 00:04:54,777
[***]
148
00:05:00,978 --> 00:05:03,444
Hello, there, chimpan...
Uh, monkey...
149
00:05:03,444 --> 00:05:05,143
I mean, Negro female.
150
00:05:05,143 --> 00:05:08,010
Welcome to... Oh.
151
00:05:08,010 --> 00:05:10,511
Ruckus, how can you work at all
these places at one time?
152
00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:12,277
Hello, Robert.
What a surprise
153
00:05:12,277 --> 00:05:13,744
to see you here with your
154
00:05:13,744 --> 00:05:15,077
female companion.
155
00:05:15,077 --> 00:05:16,611
Robert, who's this?
156
00:05:16,611 --> 00:05:18,143
This is just the valet guy.
157
00:05:18,143 --> 00:05:20,077
Mr. Valet Guy,
can I speak to you over here
158
00:05:20,077 --> 00:05:22,277
about the car?
159
00:05:22,277 --> 00:05:24,811
Robert Freeman, I swear
every time I'm ready
160
00:05:24,811 --> 00:05:27,010
to count you amongst
the smartest of the accursed
161
00:05:27,010 --> 00:05:29,143
sons of Ham, you manage
to prove me wrong.
162
00:05:29,143 --> 00:05:31,043
I want you to leave us alone
tonight, Ruckus.
163
00:05:31,043 --> 00:05:33,210
You're not gonna ruin this.
We're just going to get
164
00:05:33,210 --> 00:05:34,978
to know each other.
Oh, really? Really?
165
00:05:34,978 --> 00:05:37,444
Well, I'll tell you everything
you need to know right now:
166
00:05:37,444 --> 00:05:39,110
She got kids,
she got a police record,
167
00:05:39,110 --> 00:05:41,244
and she got debt up
to her wide nostrils.
168
00:05:41,244 --> 00:05:43,677
Well, we'll see about that.
169
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,777
But you just leave us alone.
170
00:05:46,911 --> 00:05:48,177
EBONY:
I've never been here.
171
00:05:48,177 --> 00:05:49,878
GRANDDAD:
Mm, you smell so good, Ebony.
172
00:05:49,878 --> 00:05:51,777
EBONY:
Thank you.
173
00:05:51,777 --> 00:05:53,944
Mm, everything looks great.
174
00:05:53,944 --> 00:05:55,711
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
175
00:05:55,711 --> 00:05:57,377
Robert?
Uh.
176
00:05:57,377 --> 00:05:59,544
Is something wrong?
Nothing's wrong.
177
00:05:59,544 --> 00:06:01,611
Just very excited to get
to know you, that's all.
178
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:02,644
Tell me about yourself.
179
00:06:02,644 --> 00:06:04,210
What do you wanna know?
Anything.
180
00:06:04,210 --> 00:06:06,711
You can tell me, uh, about
the last time you were arrested,
181
00:06:06,711 --> 00:06:08,611
or a funny story about
the collection agent,
182
00:06:08,611 --> 00:06:11,577
or about one of your
many, many, many kids.
183
00:06:11,577 --> 00:06:13,744
[LAUGHS]
I've never been arrested,
184
00:06:13,744 --> 00:06:15,043
and I don't have any kids,
185
00:06:15,043 --> 00:06:16,911
and I have perfect credit.
186
00:06:16,911 --> 00:06:18,143
Really?
187
00:06:18,143 --> 00:06:19,477
Uh...
188
00:06:19,477 --> 00:06:21,244
I need to use the restroom.
189
00:06:21,244 --> 00:06:22,978
Ruckus, you were wrong.
190
00:06:22,978 --> 00:06:24,777
No record, no kids, no nothing.
191
00:06:24,777 --> 00:06:25,844
She passed the test.
192
00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:26,978
She didn't pass the test.
193
00:06:26,978 --> 00:06:28,210
She just smarter than you.
194
00:06:28,210 --> 00:06:29,444
Let me talk to her.
No.
195
00:06:29,444 --> 00:06:30,911
Don't you go over there,
Ruckus.
196
00:06:30,911 --> 00:06:33,410
But...
Leave me alone, I gotta go pee.
197
00:06:33,410 --> 00:06:35,410
[TOILET FLUSHES]
198
00:06:38,277 --> 00:06:40,277
I'm okay, thanks.
199
00:06:40,277 --> 00:06:42,744
Whew, don't mess it up.
200
00:06:42,744 --> 00:06:44,210
Be calm, take it slow.
201
00:06:44,210 --> 00:06:46,444
Mm-hm, hot date,
tonight, huh, brother?
202
00:06:46,444 --> 00:06:49,010
Yeah, it's like everything
she says is perfect.
203
00:06:49,010 --> 00:06:50,077
But I'm taking it slow,
204
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:51,844
just getting to know each other.
Mm-hm.
205
00:06:51,844 --> 00:06:54,177
There you go.
Good luck, brother.
206
00:06:54,177 --> 00:06:56,644
[CLEARS THROAT]
[COINS CLANGING]
207
00:06:56,644 --> 00:06:58,277
Oh, I'm sorry.
208
00:06:58,277 --> 00:06:59,677
All I have is a 5.
209
00:06:59,677 --> 00:07:01,310
All right,
I'll take that for now.
210
00:07:01,310 --> 00:07:03,110
Well, don't you think
a 5 is a bit much?
211
00:07:03,110 --> 00:07:05,511
All you did was turn the water
on and hand me a paper towel.
212
00:07:05,511 --> 00:07:08,043
I didn't even ask for it.
You don't have to ask for that.
213
00:07:08,043 --> 00:07:10,043
It comes with
the service, nigga,
214
00:07:10,043 --> 00:07:12,777
just like the assortment
of gums, mints, lotions,
215
00:07:12,777 --> 00:07:14,511
and hair care products.
216
00:07:14,511 --> 00:07:16,677
But I didn't use any of that
stuff, I just had to pee.
217
00:07:16,677 --> 00:07:18,444
Now I'm happy to tip,
but a 5 is too much.
218
00:07:18,444 --> 00:07:20,911
Too much? For sitting
a foot and a half away
219
00:07:20,911 --> 00:07:22,811
from piss and shit
and nasty-ass farts
220
00:07:22,811 --> 00:07:25,878
from you motherfuckers
for six hours straight, nigga?
221
00:07:25,878 --> 00:07:27,277
I shouldn't have
to go to the ATM
222
00:07:27,277 --> 00:07:28,978
every time I wanna
use the bathroom.
223
00:07:28,978 --> 00:07:30,811
Nigga, get your ass
away from my commodes.
224
00:07:30,811 --> 00:07:33,511
Fuck you.
No, no, no, you don't.
225
00:07:33,511 --> 00:07:35,110
Get your ass back here
with my mints.
226
00:07:35,110 --> 00:07:38,143
You lucky I ain't allowed
to leave this bathroom, nigga.
227
00:07:39,210 --> 00:07:40,711
[GRUNTS]
228
00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:43,410
Oh, I always hear
y'all complain about
229
00:07:43,410 --> 00:07:44,711
a shortage of black men.
230
00:07:44,711 --> 00:07:46,711
Well, clearly
you hadn't checked jail.
231
00:07:46,711 --> 00:07:47,777
Ha, jail?
232
00:07:47,777 --> 00:07:49,677
I can't do any
better than jail?
233
00:07:49,677 --> 00:07:52,477
Oh, now you too good
for jail, is that it?
234
00:07:52,477 --> 00:07:54,143
A jail nigga was
good enough for momma,
235
00:07:54,143 --> 00:07:55,544
but not good enough
for you, huh?
236
00:07:55,544 --> 00:07:56,944
[LAUGHS] Ruckus, stop.
237
00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:59,043
Ebony, don't listen to him,
he's half-retarded.
238
00:07:59,043 --> 00:08:00,077
He's only got one eye.
239
00:08:00,077 --> 00:08:01,244
No, no, Robert, Robert.
240
00:08:01,244 --> 00:08:02,744
I'm doing this
for your own good.
241
00:08:02,744 --> 00:08:05,277
Robert, your friend
is too funny.
242
00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:06,377
BOTH: Wha...?
I mean,
243
00:08:06,377 --> 00:08:08,577
his views are obviously
reprehensible,
244
00:08:08,577 --> 00:08:10,944
but there's just enough truth
to make me examine myself
245
00:08:10,944 --> 00:08:13,344
in a critical light.
Plus, he's hilarious
246
00:08:13,344 --> 00:08:15,377
and thus oddly likeable.
247
00:08:15,377 --> 00:08:16,477
Huh?
Huh?
248
00:08:16,477 --> 00:08:17,911
Well, it's, uh...
249
00:08:17,911 --> 00:08:20,677
I-It's a... It's a pleasure
to meet you as well,
250
00:08:20,677 --> 00:08:21,944
ma'am.
251
00:08:21,944 --> 00:08:23,811
So then Jesse tried to say that
252
00:08:23,811 --> 00:08:25,844
I ordered the cheese sandwich
and that I ate
253
00:08:25,844 --> 00:08:27,711
Martin Luther King's
chicken pesto.
254
00:08:27,711 --> 00:08:29,611
But I always ordered
the chicken pesto.
255
00:08:29,611 --> 00:08:32,110
Martin started ordering
it after I started ordering it.
256
00:08:32,110 --> 00:08:34,644
And so Jesse Jackson tried
to stand up all swole.
257
00:08:34,644 --> 00:08:36,177
And I said,
and pardon my language,
258
00:08:36,177 --> 00:08:37,944
"You know what, Jesse?
I'm sick of you."
259
00:08:37,944 --> 00:08:39,611
And then he pulled
out a knife and said,
260
00:08:39,611 --> 00:08:41,644
"Nigga, I'm gonna cut
your nuts off." So I said,
261
00:08:41,644 --> 00:08:44,143
"Ah, fuck it, it's only
a sandwich." True story.
262
00:08:44,143 --> 00:08:46,477
I can't believe it,
that actually happened?
263
00:08:46,477 --> 00:08:48,244
Stuff like that
happen to me all the time.
264
00:08:48,244 --> 00:08:50,978
I don't think he was playing.
He wanted to cut my nuts off.
265
00:08:50,978 --> 00:08:53,043
Do you know
how amazing that is?
266
00:08:53,043 --> 00:08:56,143
Do you... Do you know
how amazing your life is?
267
00:08:56,143 --> 00:08:57,777
Well, Robert.
Hope you not feeling
268
00:08:57,777 --> 00:08:59,644
this credit crunch,
because you just spent
269
00:08:59,644 --> 00:09:01,577
a shit-ton
to feed this wildebeest.
270
00:09:01,577 --> 00:09:03,210
[LAUGHS] Wildebeest?
271
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:06,477
Oh, well, this one's
on the wildebeest.
272
00:09:06,477 --> 00:09:08,244
[GASPS]
273
00:09:08,244 --> 00:09:10,511
Here we go,
you just won't learn.
274
00:09:10,511 --> 00:09:12,811
I checked her out.
I'm telling you she's wonderful.
275
00:09:12,811 --> 00:09:13,944
Better than wonderful.
276
00:09:13,944 --> 00:09:15,511
Sure she's not
gonna hurt anybody?
277
00:09:15,511 --> 00:09:16,677
Almost positive.
278
00:09:16,677 --> 00:09:19,377
All right, Granddad.
Go ahead, fall in love again.
279
00:09:19,377 --> 00:09:20,911
He doing it again, Huey.
280
00:09:20,911 --> 00:09:22,043
I can see it in his eye.
281
00:09:22,043 --> 00:09:23,277
She's coming over tonight.
282
00:09:23,277 --> 00:09:25,310
And you two are going
to behave. Got it?
283
00:09:25,310 --> 00:09:27,911
Why don't you just sign your
retirement benefits over to her?
284
00:09:27,911 --> 00:09:29,310
All your bank accounts too.
285
00:09:29,310 --> 00:09:30,577
You just met her yesterday.
286
00:09:30,577 --> 00:09:33,244
What's taking so long?
Shut up.
287
00:09:33,244 --> 00:09:35,911
And you, you an enabler.
288
00:09:35,911 --> 00:09:37,844
Enabling-ass nigga.
289
00:09:38,544 --> 00:09:40,411
[***]
290
00:09:41,762 --> 00:09:42,929
EBONY:
Seriously?
291
00:09:42,929 --> 00:09:44,194
Yeah.
292
00:09:44,194 --> 00:09:45,695
Well, I understand why Robert
293
00:09:45,695 --> 00:09:46,862
was worried at first.
294
00:09:46,862 --> 00:09:48,528
There's a lot of
crazy women out there.
295
00:09:48,528 --> 00:09:50,995
Ma'am, we are so happy
you showed up.
296
00:09:50,995 --> 00:09:52,995
Bravo, bravo, bravo.
297
00:09:52,995 --> 00:09:57,128
Yes, that is a very impressive
set of prepared responses.
298
00:09:57,128 --> 00:09:59,328
Ruckus? What are you doing here?
How did you get in?
299
00:09:59,328 --> 00:10:00,962
It's okay, Robert, really.
300
00:10:00,962 --> 00:10:03,528
I think it's great that your
friends care so much about you.
301
00:10:03,528 --> 00:10:06,128
Robert, may I use
your little girl's room?
302
00:10:06,128 --> 00:10:08,295
So how did you
two kids meet in a park
303
00:10:08,295 --> 00:10:09,461
in the middle of a workday?
304
00:10:09,461 --> 00:10:10,762
Taking a long lunch?
305
00:10:10,762 --> 00:10:12,461
Well, I run
a non-profit organization,
306
00:10:12,461 --> 00:10:14,328
so my hours are flexible.
307
00:10:14,328 --> 00:10:15,795
Wow, so what kind
of work do you do?
308
00:10:15,795 --> 00:10:17,528
Well, up until recently
we raised money
309
00:10:17,528 --> 00:10:19,361
to find a cure
for Patterson's disease.
310
00:10:19,361 --> 00:10:21,328
Patterson's disease?
I've never heard of it.
311
00:10:21,328 --> 00:10:22,595
Yes, nor have I.
312
00:10:22,595 --> 00:10:24,695
Well, it's a very serious
terminal illness.
313
00:10:24,695 --> 00:10:26,395
Well, it was a serious illness.
314
00:10:26,395 --> 00:10:28,461
We cured it.
Wow, you cured it?
315
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:29,695
Yep.
I've never heard
316
00:10:29,695 --> 00:10:32,061
of one of those foundations
actually curing anything.
317
00:10:32,061 --> 00:10:33,628
Yes, that sure is amazing
318
00:10:33,628 --> 00:10:34,895
that you cured that disease
319
00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:36,328
that ain't nobody
ever heard of.
320
00:10:36,328 --> 00:10:38,495
Oh, tell us, tell us,
what other incredible things
321
00:10:38,495 --> 00:10:40,428
have you done
that only you know about?
322
00:10:40,428 --> 00:10:41,828
Were you guys just talking
323
00:10:41,828 --> 00:10:44,128
about Patterson's disease?
Yes. You've heard of it?
324
00:10:44,128 --> 00:10:46,428
My Nana had
Patterson's disease.
325
00:10:46,428 --> 00:10:48,361
Oh, hon.
I never knew that.
326
00:10:48,361 --> 00:10:51,061
She cured it.
Oh, my God,
327
00:10:51,061 --> 00:10:53,562
you saved my Nana's life.
328
00:10:53,562 --> 00:10:55,495
[SOBS]
329
00:10:55,495 --> 00:10:57,628
You're wonderful.
You are.
330
00:10:57,628 --> 00:10:59,562
[CRYING]
331
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:03,528
Congratulations, Robert.
332
00:11:03,528 --> 00:11:05,161
She's amazing.
333
00:11:05,161 --> 00:11:06,995
Now, now, we're just
taking it slow.
334
00:11:06,995 --> 00:11:08,595
I tell you all, it's a trap.
335
00:11:08,595 --> 00:11:11,662
Beneath that baby-soft lotiony
exterior, them wide,
336
00:11:11,662 --> 00:11:14,295
inviting hips, and that ample
chocolate bosom
337
00:11:14,295 --> 00:11:16,228
is a savage, Africanized,
338
00:11:16,228 --> 00:11:19,762
pot-boiling, bone-in-the-nose,
doing-a-monkey-dance,
339
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:21,128
playing-drums female.
340
00:11:21,128 --> 00:11:22,662
Ruckus, get the hell on.
Go.
341
00:11:22,662 --> 00:11:24,595
Hey, you may as well
be fucking an orangutan.
342
00:11:24,595 --> 00:11:26,128
Didn't I tell you?
She's perfect.
343
00:11:26,128 --> 00:11:27,828
She's the perfect woman.
I can't find
344
00:11:27,828 --> 00:11:29,728
anything wrong with her.
Right, Granddad,
345
00:11:29,728 --> 00:11:31,361
maybe she not a ho.
Maybe she just
346
00:11:31,361 --> 00:11:33,228
marry you and take
everything when you die.
347
00:11:33,228 --> 00:11:35,261
Let's call her a businesswoman.
348
00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:36,995
All right, boys, time for bed.
349
00:11:36,995 --> 00:11:38,261
Say good night to Miss Ebony.
350
00:11:38,261 --> 00:11:39,528
Huey, Riley,
351
00:11:39,528 --> 00:11:41,328
it was great meeting
the both of you.
352
00:11:41,328 --> 00:11:43,562
HUEY:
It was quite a relief
to meet you, Miss Ebony.
353
00:11:43,562 --> 00:11:45,728
I hope we can hang out
again before you steal
354
00:11:45,728 --> 00:11:47,029
all my Granddad's money.
355
00:11:47,029 --> 00:11:48,862
[GRUNTS]
356
00:11:48,862 --> 00:11:51,061
[ROLAND SHAW'S "LET THE LOVE
COME THROUGH" PLAYING]
357
00:11:55,094 --> 00:11:56,962
[GIGGLES]
358
00:11:58,228 --> 00:12:00,061
[HUMMING]
359
00:12:03,662 --> 00:12:04,895
[GIGGLES]
360
00:12:04,895 --> 00:12:06,228
[HUMMING]
361
00:12:06,228 --> 00:12:09,161
Ah!
[SQUEALS]
362
00:12:09,161 --> 00:12:11,795
Oh, daddy.
363
00:12:13,562 --> 00:12:16,662
[HEAVY BREATHING,
KISSING]
364
00:12:16,662 --> 00:12:18,528
GRANDDAD:
Sweet thing, you.
365
00:12:18,528 --> 00:12:20,762
EBONY:
Wait. Can we turn the lights on?
366
00:12:20,762 --> 00:12:22,828
I like to be able to see.
GRANDDAD: Lights on?
367
00:12:22,828 --> 00:12:25,895
I just put on
some weight recently.
368
00:12:25,895 --> 00:12:27,495
I'd rather keep it very,
very dark.
369
00:12:27,495 --> 00:12:29,662
Uh, just use your imagination.
370
00:12:29,662 --> 00:12:32,228
[LAUGHS] You're so funny.
371
00:12:32,228 --> 00:12:34,828
Okay.
Whatever you like.
372
00:12:34,828 --> 00:12:36,762
[MOANS AND KISSES]
373
00:12:46,228 --> 00:12:47,995
[***]
374
00:13:16,428 --> 00:13:18,695
EBONY:
Wait, wait, wait.
Let me guess, let me guess.
375
00:13:18,695 --> 00:13:20,528
And Ed the Third
gets shot in the chest.
376
00:13:20,528 --> 00:13:22,495
Yes.
[LAUGHS]
377
00:13:22,495 --> 00:13:24,328
I just love your life.
378
00:13:24,328 --> 00:13:25,962
You have these crazy adventures
379
00:13:25,962 --> 00:13:28,695
with these bizarre characters
and it's so much fun.
380
00:13:28,695 --> 00:13:30,161
Never thought about it
like that.
381
00:13:30,161 --> 00:13:31,595
Seemed like a bunch
of problems.
382
00:13:31,595 --> 00:13:33,395
I love it that you fight people
with a belt,
383
00:13:33,395 --> 00:13:34,628
I love it that you're friends
384
00:13:34,628 --> 00:13:36,628
with a pimp named
A Pimp Named Slickback.
385
00:13:36,628 --> 00:13:38,762
I love that Riley thinks
everything is gay.
386
00:13:38,762 --> 00:13:41,128
I know I shouldn't like
any of these things, but I do.
387
00:13:41,128 --> 00:13:43,094
Yeah,
I guess it is kind of fun.
388
00:13:43,094 --> 00:13:44,495
I want to be a character.
389
00:13:44,495 --> 00:13:46,728
Uh, cameo
or re-occurring?
390
00:13:46,728 --> 00:13:48,528
Regular.
391
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:50,194
Oh, my.
392
00:13:50,194 --> 00:13:52,128
[***]
393
00:13:56,662 --> 00:13:58,128
What am I gonna do?
She's perfect.
394
00:13:58,128 --> 00:13:59,328
She's the perfect woman.
395
00:13:59,328 --> 00:14:01,094
What's the problem?
She too good for me.
396
00:14:01,094 --> 00:14:02,695
Is that what she said?
No,
397
00:14:02,695 --> 00:14:04,762
she says she likes
and accepts me for who I am.
398
00:14:04,762 --> 00:14:05,762
So, what's the problem?
399
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:07,029
She doesn't know the real me.
400
00:14:07,029 --> 00:14:08,662
No one normal
can love the real me.
401
00:14:08,662 --> 00:14:10,862
I have to do something
drastic before I screw it up.
402
00:14:10,862 --> 00:14:12,828
I should try to be someone
totally different.
403
00:14:12,828 --> 00:14:14,428
You know,
like Tyrese or Chris Brown.
404
00:14:14,428 --> 00:14:15,995
Someone who's not
a dorky old man.
405
00:14:15,995 --> 00:14:17,862
Yup. Makes sense.
And I shouldn't tell her
406
00:14:17,862 --> 00:14:20,128
how much I like her. Women
like the chase, don't they?
407
00:14:20,128 --> 00:14:21,328
Yup.
Soon as she thinks
408
00:14:21,328 --> 00:14:22,728
she's got me,
she's gonna move on
409
00:14:22,728 --> 00:14:25,261
to another old man to satisfy
her sick old-man fetish.
410
00:14:25,261 --> 00:14:27,595
Nah, she probably just got
a young nigga on the side.
411
00:14:27,595 --> 00:14:29,128
Another man? Of course.
412
00:14:29,128 --> 00:14:30,228
With all these young men
413
00:14:30,228 --> 00:14:32,094
with good blood pressure
running around?
414
00:14:32,094 --> 00:14:33,361
And he's probably buff too.
415
00:14:33,361 --> 00:14:35,128
Yup, real buff.
416
00:14:35,128 --> 00:14:36,261
Like Tyrese buff?
417
00:14:36,261 --> 00:14:37,595
Nah, like 50 Cent buff.
418
00:14:37,595 --> 00:14:38,962
Oh, no!
419
00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:41,428
He probably spends all his time
in the gym getting strong.
420
00:14:41,428 --> 00:14:42,828
I bet she thinks
of him every day,
421
00:14:42,828 --> 00:14:45,428
even when she's with me.
Especially when she with you.
422
00:14:45,428 --> 00:14:46,695
Granddad, this is silly.
423
00:14:46,695 --> 00:14:47,995
She obviously likes you.
424
00:14:47,995 --> 00:14:49,461
Just relax and be yourself.
425
00:14:49,461 --> 00:14:51,128
Myself?
Nah, that'll never work.
426
00:14:51,128 --> 00:14:53,061
[***]
427
00:14:54,828 --> 00:14:57,862
Yeah, uh, I'm looking for
something like a homing device.
428
00:14:57,862 --> 00:14:59,328
Like in the movies, you know?
429
00:14:59,328 --> 00:15:02,029
See, I have a friend who needs
to follow around
430
00:15:02,029 --> 00:15:03,295
a young lady friend.
431
00:15:03,295 --> 00:15:05,628
Uh, not stalking her
or anything.
432
00:15:05,628 --> 00:15:07,128
You know, that would
be real creepy.
433
00:15:09,695 --> 00:15:11,728
[CAR ALARM BEEPS]
434
00:15:11,728 --> 00:15:14,862
[***]
435
00:15:14,862 --> 00:15:17,528
So you just put that little
GPS gadget thingy
436
00:15:17,528 --> 00:15:19,929
in her car and now we can
follow her anywhere.
437
00:15:19,929 --> 00:15:22,595
Lord, the white man
sure is brilliant.
438
00:15:22,595 --> 00:15:25,862
I do love him
and his modern technology so.
439
00:15:25,862 --> 00:15:28,929
Finally. That which
the darkie has done
440
00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:30,595
in darkness shall
come to light.
441
00:15:30,595 --> 00:15:32,094
I can't believe it.
442
00:15:32,094 --> 00:15:34,261
Why, Lord, why?
443
00:15:34,261 --> 00:15:35,662
Oh.
444
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:38,328
GRANDDAD:
Oh!
445
00:15:39,562 --> 00:15:40,828
I didn't know she can do that.
446
00:15:40,828 --> 00:15:43,361
Let me see.
Let me see.
447
00:15:43,361 --> 00:15:45,194
Oh, my God, look at that.
448
00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:47,228
I'm so sorry, Robert,
but I told you,
449
00:15:47,228 --> 00:15:49,161
that Afro-tramp
could not be...
450
00:15:49,161 --> 00:15:50,828
[SCREAMS]
[SQUIRREL SQUEAKING]
451
00:15:50,828 --> 00:15:52,061
Sorry, squirrel.
452
00:15:52,061 --> 00:15:55,261
[***]
453
00:15:55,261 --> 00:15:57,728
Hm, I don't know.
454
00:15:57,728 --> 00:15:59,361
I don't think
I'm a fan of the earring.
455
00:15:59,361 --> 00:16:00,862
Well, I like it.
It's my ear,
456
00:16:00,862 --> 00:16:02,862
I can wear an earring.
Maybe two.
457
00:16:02,862 --> 00:16:05,428
You saying I'm too old
to wear an earring?
458
00:16:05,428 --> 00:16:07,029
What's wrong?
You seem grumpy.
459
00:16:07,029 --> 00:16:08,728
Oh, like Grumpy Old Men,
huh?
460
00:16:08,728 --> 00:16:09,995
[LAUGHS] I get it.
461
00:16:09,995 --> 00:16:11,295
Let's all laugh at the old guy.
462
00:16:11,295 --> 00:16:12,595
Is something bothering you?
463
00:16:12,595 --> 00:16:14,528
Now I'm too sensitive?
Is that it?
464
00:16:14,528 --> 00:16:16,762
Huh?
EBONY: No, I'm not saying that.
465
00:16:18,094 --> 00:16:19,029
Are you okay?
466
00:16:20,461 --> 00:16:22,395
Look, do you want me
to take off?
467
00:16:22,395 --> 00:16:24,094
I feel like I'm getting
on your nerves.
468
00:16:24,094 --> 00:16:27,328
Huh? Hey. Hey!
469
00:16:27,328 --> 00:16:28,995
Stop looking at my woman!
470
00:16:28,995 --> 00:16:30,461
[MOANING]
471
00:16:30,461 --> 00:16:31,995
Hey, what the hell?
472
00:16:31,995 --> 00:16:33,929
Why are y'all staring
at my girl like that?
473
00:16:33,929 --> 00:16:35,728
I know she's hot.
I know she's got a big,
474
00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:37,029
wonderful, glorious behind.
475
00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:38,428
But I'm the guy she's with.
476
00:16:38,428 --> 00:16:40,428
And y'all think because
I'm a pudgy old man
477
00:16:40,428 --> 00:16:42,328
that y'all can just look
at her when you want.
478
00:16:42,328 --> 00:16:45,128
I may not be young. I may
not be buff like Tyrese,
479
00:16:45,128 --> 00:16:48,161
I may not have the pectorial
muscles of a Michael Jai White,
480
00:16:48,161 --> 00:16:50,061
or the washboard abs
of a Tyson Beckford,
481
00:16:50,061 --> 00:16:53,194
or even the shit-your-pants
scariness of a Kimbo Slice.
482
00:16:53,194 --> 00:16:55,795
But don't think I won't punch
one of you punkasses in the eye
483
00:16:55,795 --> 00:16:57,161
for looking at my girl.
484
00:16:57,161 --> 00:17:00,528
You. Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm.
485
00:17:00,528 --> 00:17:02,261
You! Hey, punk.
486
00:17:02,261 --> 00:17:03,662
Were you looking at my girl?
487
00:17:03,662 --> 00:17:05,295
EBONY:
Hey, stop.
488
00:17:05,295 --> 00:17:08,061
[***]
489
00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:10,995
I am so, so, so,
so sorry, Ebony.
490
00:17:10,995 --> 00:17:12,495
Please don't break up with me.
491
00:17:12,495 --> 00:17:14,795
You don't have to keep
apologizing, Robert.
492
00:17:14,795 --> 00:17:16,194
I'm worried about you.
493
00:17:16,194 --> 00:17:17,762
I don't know what came over me.
494
00:17:17,762 --> 00:17:19,728
I just... I feel so old.
495
00:17:19,728 --> 00:17:21,728
There's so many younger,
sexier men out there,
496
00:17:21,728 --> 00:17:23,395
like bald Boris Kodjoe,
497
00:17:23,395 --> 00:17:25,862
or the British sophistication
of a Idris Elba.
498
00:17:25,862 --> 00:17:27,695
Robert, I don't want
to date those guys,
499
00:17:27,695 --> 00:17:29,361
I've already dated those guys.
500
00:17:29,361 --> 00:17:31,628
What?
[LAUGHS]: I'm kidding.
501
00:17:31,628 --> 00:17:34,695
Whew. Thought you was a ho
for a second.
502
00:17:34,695 --> 00:17:36,695
Oh, man, you fought for her?
503
00:17:36,695 --> 00:17:38,461
Nobody told you
to fight for her.
504
00:17:38,461 --> 00:17:39,962
She'll never respect you now.
505
00:17:39,962 --> 00:17:42,261
I mean, she probably didn't
want to say it to your face,
506
00:17:42,261 --> 00:17:43,295
but it's a wrap.
507
00:17:43,295 --> 00:17:44,762
Shut up.
I'm not listening to you.
508
00:17:44,762 --> 00:17:46,261
It's a shame too.
509
00:17:46,261 --> 00:17:47,929
She wasn't bad.
She said she gonna
510
00:17:47,929 --> 00:17:49,628
give me another chance.
Is that right?
511
00:17:49,628 --> 00:17:51,962
How long since she called you?
512
00:17:51,962 --> 00:17:53,395
[GROANS]
513
00:17:53,395 --> 00:17:55,662
[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]
Hey, it's me again.
514
00:17:55,662 --> 00:17:57,862
I just sent you a text message
and a e-mail,
515
00:17:57,862 --> 00:17:59,895
and an instant message,
and a MySpace message,
516
00:17:59,895 --> 00:18:02,094
and I just put
an actual letter in the mail.
517
00:18:02,094 --> 00:18:03,695
You should get it
in a couple of days,
518
00:18:03,695 --> 00:18:05,962
and I also tried to send you
a telegraph at the station
519
00:18:05,962 --> 00:18:07,828
but the man said
they don't exist anymore.
520
00:18:07,828 --> 00:18:10,562
I tried to page you but the man
said that doesn't exist anymore.
521
00:18:10,562 --> 00:18:13,094
So, uh, just, uh,
call me when you can.
522
00:18:13,094 --> 00:18:15,695
I'll just be here, waiting.
523
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:17,094
[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]
524
00:18:17,094 --> 00:18:19,461
WOMAN:
We are like the perfect couple.
525
00:18:19,461 --> 00:18:21,094
MAN:
I'm starting to look like you.
526
00:18:21,094 --> 00:18:23,029
[***]
527
00:18:46,762 --> 00:18:47,862
[SIGHS]
528
00:18:47,862 --> 00:18:49,595
Granddad, I found her.
529
00:18:49,595 --> 00:18:50,695
You did?
530
00:18:50,695 --> 00:18:52,328
Twitter? What the hell
is a Twitter?
531
00:18:52,328 --> 00:18:54,029
Goddamn, they keep
coming up with these
532
00:18:54,029 --> 00:18:55,795
stupid computer things.
I can't keep up.
533
00:18:55,795 --> 00:18:57,995
There should be one damn
computer thing. That's it.
534
00:18:57,995 --> 00:18:59,795
Well, her Twitter says
she's in Malaysia.
535
00:18:59,795 --> 00:19:01,461
Malaysia?
What's she doing there?
536
00:19:01,461 --> 00:19:03,361
She obviously went there
to get away from me.
537
00:19:03,361 --> 00:19:06,628
Or maybe she went for the
inexpensive male prostitutes.
538
00:19:06,628 --> 00:19:08,695
She probably just
needs a little space.
539
00:19:08,695 --> 00:19:11,128
Yeah, a little
other-side-of-the-planet space.
540
00:19:11,128 --> 00:19:13,628
Granddad, you better hurry
before she gets to the moon.
541
00:19:13,628 --> 00:19:15,495
It's settled then.
I'm going to Malaysia.
542
00:19:17,795 --> 00:19:19,728
[***]
543
00:19:23,929 --> 00:19:25,428
[LAUGHING]
544
00:19:34,361 --> 00:19:36,662
[GRUNTS]
545
00:19:41,161 --> 00:19:42,862
[PANTS]
546
00:19:44,962 --> 00:19:47,061
And make sure those crates
get moved over there...
547
00:19:47,061 --> 00:19:48,828
Ebony.
Robert?
548
00:19:48,828 --> 00:19:50,261
What are you doing here?
549
00:19:50,261 --> 00:19:52,295
Why? Why did you leave me
all alone?
550
00:19:52,295 --> 00:19:53,628
I mean, I know I made mistakes,
551
00:19:53,628 --> 00:19:55,762
but to leave forever
without saying goodbye...
552
00:19:55,762 --> 00:19:57,962
Robert, it's been 16 hours,
553
00:19:57,962 --> 00:19:59,194
and the flight is 12 hours.
554
00:19:59,194 --> 00:20:03,061
Oh, yeah, somehow it seemed
longer than that.
555
00:20:03,061 --> 00:20:05,261
I tried to call, but my phone
doesn't work over here.
556
00:20:05,261 --> 00:20:06,461
Well, then why did you leave?
557
00:20:06,461 --> 00:20:08,161
You didn't hear
about the typhoon?
558
00:20:08,161 --> 00:20:10,662
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
[HELICOPTER FLYING OVERHEAD]
559
00:20:10,662 --> 00:20:12,595
[***]
560
00:20:15,962 --> 00:20:18,962
Robert.
I'm really shocked
561
00:20:18,962 --> 00:20:20,662
that you came all
the way out here,
562
00:20:20,662 --> 00:20:22,029
but it's not healthy.
563
00:20:22,029 --> 00:20:24,128
Look at you.
You look exhausted
564
00:20:24,128 --> 00:20:25,962
and stressed and, I don't know.
565
00:20:25,962 --> 00:20:28,161
I don't want to have
this effect on you.
566
00:20:28,161 --> 00:20:29,461
You don't look happy.
567
00:20:29,461 --> 00:20:31,461
I'm happy. What makes you
think I'm not happy?
568
00:20:31,461 --> 00:20:33,194
It was all just a big
misunderstanding.
569
00:20:33,194 --> 00:20:35,562
Whew, well, since I'm already
here, I might as well
570
00:20:35,562 --> 00:20:36,962
help out with
the relief effort.
571
00:20:36,962 --> 00:20:38,962
Robert, we have
to slow this down.
572
00:20:38,962 --> 00:20:40,795
No, let's speed it up.
Let's go faster.
573
00:20:40,795 --> 00:20:42,562
Robert, you'll be fine.
574
00:20:42,562 --> 00:20:45,328
Next week you'll have some crazy
adventure with another woman.
575
00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:47,295
You won't even remember
this little episode.
576
00:20:47,295 --> 00:20:48,562
I don't know,
577
00:20:48,562 --> 00:20:50,695
I'm not too sure
I have many episodes left.
578
00:20:50,695 --> 00:20:52,628
[***]
579
00:20:54,295 --> 00:20:56,929
Goodbye, Robert.
580
00:20:56,929 --> 00:20:58,094
[GROANS]
581
00:20:58,094 --> 00:21:00,128
Please?
582
00:21:02,528 --> 00:21:04,261
Where's she at?
Where's she at?
583
00:21:04,261 --> 00:21:06,061
Miss Brown.
Miss Brown.
584
00:21:06,061 --> 00:21:07,428
Oh, I know she
in there, Robert.
585
00:21:07,428 --> 00:21:10,194
And I can't hold my feelings
inside no longer.
586
00:21:10,194 --> 00:21:12,228
Marry me, Miss Ebony Brown.
587
00:21:12,228 --> 00:21:14,061
Do me the honor of becoming
588
00:21:14,061 --> 00:21:15,929
Mrs. Uncle Ruckus.
589
00:21:15,929 --> 00:21:17,361
She's gone, Ruckus.
590
00:21:17,361 --> 00:21:19,428
Gone? Gone, what you...?
What you mean she gone?
591
00:21:19,428 --> 00:21:21,328
I blew it.
592
00:21:21,328 --> 00:21:23,562
Oh, is she ever coming back?
593
00:21:23,562 --> 00:21:24,728
I don't know.
594
00:21:24,728 --> 00:21:26,395
She said I didn't
love myself enough.
595
00:21:26,395 --> 00:21:28,862
Well, that's understandable.
You're a coon.
596
00:21:28,862 --> 00:21:31,361
Hey, I wonder if Ebony can
start one of them foundations
597
00:21:31,361 --> 00:21:33,428
and cure revitaligo.
598
00:21:33,428 --> 00:21:35,061
Oh, she sure was something.
599
00:21:35,061 --> 00:21:36,428
I mean, she was a ape,
600
00:21:36,428 --> 00:21:39,628
but she was the prettiest ape
I ever seen.
601
00:21:39,628 --> 00:21:41,762
GRANDDAD:
This is the new
Facebook account
602
00:21:41,762 --> 00:21:43,061
of Robert J. Freeman.
603
00:21:43,061 --> 00:21:45,094
I'm old but still
get around pretty well.
604
00:21:45,094 --> 00:21:46,628
I have two bad grandkids,
605
00:21:46,628 --> 00:21:48,361
and I enjoy pork,
orange juice,
606
00:21:48,361 --> 00:21:50,595
and watching
Real Housewives of Compton.
607
00:21:50,595 --> 00:21:52,361
No bat-shit
crazy women, please.
608
00:21:52,361 --> 00:21:55,728
And don't forget to comment
on my pics, LOL.
609
00:21:55,728 --> 00:21:57,695
[***]