1
00:00:02,021 --> 00:00:03,021
: I am not a prophet.

2
00:00:03,021 --> 00:00:06,021
But sometimes I have prophetic dreams.

3
00:00:06,021 --> 00:00:09,021
Like the one where I was at a garden party.

4
00:00:16,021 --> 00:00:18,021
Excuse me.

5
00:00:18,021 --> 00:00:21,021
Everyone, I have a brief announcement to make.

6
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:24,021
Jesus was black,
Ronald Reagan was the devil,

7
00:00:24,021 --> 00:00:27,021
and the government
is lyin' about 9/11.

8
00:00:27,021 --> 00:00:30,021
Thank you for your time and good night.

9
00:00:31,021 --> 00:00:33,021
No!

10
00:00:33,021 --> 00:00:35,021
That can't be true!

11
00:00:42,021 --> 00:00:43,021
Unhand me!

12
00:00:44,021 --> 00:00:45,021
Hi-ya!

13
00:00:47,021 --> 00:00:48,021
MAN:
He's on fire!

14
00:00:48,021 --> 00:00:49,021
Somebody get some water.

15
00:00:51,021 --> 00:00:52,021
Ow!

16
00:00:52,021 --> 00:00:54,021
Mm-hm. You havin' that dream
where you made

17
00:00:54,021 --> 00:00:55,021
the white people riot,
weren't ya?

18
00:00:55,021 --> 00:00:57,021
But I was tellin' the truth!

19
00:00:57,021 --> 00:01:00,021
How many times have I told you,
you better not even  dream

20
00:01:00,021 --> 00:01:01,021
about tellin' white folk
the truth?

21
00:01:01,021 --> 00:01:02,021
You understand me?

22
00:01:02,021 --> 00:01:04,021
Shoot.

23
00:01:04,021 --> 00:01:06,021
Makin' white people riot.

24
00:01:06,021 --> 00:01:08,021
You better learn
how to lie like me.

25
00:01:08,021 --> 00:01:11,021
I'm gonna find me a white man
and lie to him right now.

26
00:02:02,021 --> 00:02:04,021
Sorry, Billy Blanks,
but why buy the tape

27
00:02:05,021 --> 00:02:07,021
when you can get
the infomercial for free?

28
00:02:07,021 --> 00:02:08,021
Whew!

29
00:02:16,021 --> 00:02:18,021
What the hell?

30
00:02:19,021 --> 00:02:21,021
Boys!

31
00:02:24,021 --> 00:02:26,021
Would one of y'all like
to explain this?

32
00:02:26,021 --> 00:02:27,021
Uh...

33
00:02:28,021 --> 00:02:31,021
You mean, the orange juice
or the miniskirt?

34
00:02:31,021 --> 00:02:33,021
Which one of y'all drank
the last glass of orange juice?

35
00:02:33,021 --> 00:02:35,021
That's the last full day's
supply of vitamin C.

36
00:02:36,021 --> 00:02:38,021
What am I supposed to do
about my vitamin C now?

37
00:02:38,021 --> 00:02:41,021
Y'all need to start
appreciatin' your granddaddy.

38
00:02:41,021 --> 00:02:42,021
I went and spent
your inheritance

39
00:02:42,021 --> 00:02:44,021
on this beautiful house
in this neighborhood.

40
00:02:45,021 --> 00:02:46,021
And all I ask you to do

41
00:02:46,021 --> 00:02:47,021
is act like you got some class.

42
00:02:47,021 --> 00:02:49,021
Hey, what's class?

43
00:02:49,021 --> 00:02:51,021
It means don't act
like niggas.

44
00:02:51,021 --> 00:02:54,021
S-see? That's what
I'm talkin' about right there.

45
00:02:54,021 --> 00:02:55,021
We don't use the N-word
in this house.

46
00:02:56,021 --> 00:02:58,021
Granddad, you said the word
"nigga" 46 times yesterday.

47
00:02:58,021 --> 00:02:59,021
I counted.

48
00:02:59,021 --> 00:03:00,021
Nigga, hush.

49
00:03:00,021 --> 00:03:01,021
Now, you may not like it,

50
00:03:02,021 --> 00:03:04,021
but I moved y'all out here

51
00:03:04,021 --> 00:03:05,021
to expand your horizon.

52
00:03:05,021 --> 00:03:08,021
There's a  new  white man
out here.

53
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,021
He's refined.

54
00:03:09,021 --> 00:03:10,021
For example, did you know

55
00:03:11,021 --> 00:03:13,021
that the new white man
loves gourmet cheese?

56
00:03:13,021 --> 00:03:14,021
Wait.

57
00:03:14,021 --> 00:03:16,021
I'm sorry,
did you say cheese?

58
00:03:16,021 --> 00:03:18,021
Yep, cheese.

59
00:03:18,021 --> 00:03:20,021
You give the meanest white man
a piece of cheese,

60
00:03:20,021 --> 00:03:22,021
and he turn into Mr. Rogers.

61
00:03:22,021 --> 00:03:23,021
Granddad,
that doesn't make sense.

62
00:03:23,021 --> 00:03:24,021
Don't you talk back to me.

63
00:03:25,021 --> 00:03:26,021
Granddad, you can't tame

64
00:03:26,021 --> 00:03:28,021
the white supremacist
power structure with cheese!

65
00:03:28,021 --> 00:03:30,021
Oh, yes, I can!
No, you can't!

66
00:03:30,021 --> 00:03:31,021
GRANDDAD: Yes, I can!
No, you can not!

67
00:03:32,021 --> 00:03:32,021
HUEY:
Cheese.

68
00:03:33,021 --> 00:03:34,021
How can somebody that old

69
00:03:34,021 --> 00:03:36,021
say somethin' that stupid?

70
00:03:36,021 --> 00:03:38,021
RILEY:
I know about white people too.

71
00:03:38,021 --> 00:03:39,021
Like, when they talk,

72
00:03:39,021 --> 00:03:45,021
they say the whole word,

73
00:03:39,021 --> 00:03:45,021
like this.

74
00:03:45,021 --> 00:03:48,021
HUEY:
Why'd he even move us

75
00:03:45,021 --> 00:03:48,021
out here?

76
00:03:48,021 --> 00:03:50,021
Probably did it
just to make us miserable.

77
00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:53,021
RILEY:
And white people take time out

78
00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:53,021
to study.

79
00:03:53,021 --> 00:03:55,021
I hate this place.

80
00:03:55,021 --> 00:03:58,021
RILEY: And  white people arrest you.

81
00:03:58,021 --> 00:03:59,021
Man.

82
00:04:02,021 --> 00:04:03,021
RILEY:
Hey!

83
00:04:06,021 --> 00:04:08,021
Looks like the feds.

84
00:04:17,021 --> 00:04:19,021
Who the hell could be
knockin' on this door

85
00:04:19,021 --> 00:04:21,021
this early in the mornin'?

86
00:04:21,021 --> 00:04:23,021
If it's a Jehovah Witness,
I'm kickin' his ass.

87
00:04:23,021 --> 00:04:24,021
Yes?

88
00:04:24,021 --> 00:04:27,021
I'm looking for Robert Freeman.

89
00:04:27,021 --> 00:04:28,021
I'm Robert Freeman.

90
00:04:28,021 --> 00:04:31,021
I'm Ed Wuncler.

91
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:33,021
From Wuncler's
Savings and Loan.

92
00:04:34,021 --> 00:04:35,021
Uh, so?

93
00:04:35,021 --> 00:04:39,021
I own the bank
that owns your house.

94
00:04:39,021 --> 00:04:40,021
Oh, well--

95
00:04:40,021 --> 00:04:41,021
Come in, sir.

96
00:04:41,021 --> 00:04:43,021
Welcome to your house.

97
00:04:47,021 --> 00:04:53,021
Robert, my family founded
Woodcrest over 170 years ago.

98
00:04:53,021 --> 00:04:56,021
I was born here,
and I still live here.

99
00:04:56,021 --> 00:04:59,021
I consider this place
to be family,

100
00:05:00,021 --> 00:05:02,021
and I'm very selective

101
00:05:02,021 --> 00:05:05,021
about who I allow
in to that family.

102
00:05:06,021 --> 00:05:08,021
You understand
what I'm saying, Robert?

103
00:05:08,021 --> 00:05:11,021
Hey, yes,
I totally understand.

104
00:05:11,021 --> 00:05:13,021
Would you like some...

105
00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,021
cheese?

106
00:05:15,021 --> 00:05:18,021
Did you just offer me cheese?

107
00:05:18,021 --> 00:05:19,021
Yes, I did.

108
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:23,021
I'd love some cheese, thank you.

109
00:05:23,021 --> 00:05:24,021
Hm.

110
00:05:24,021 --> 00:05:26,021
Riley!

111
00:05:26,021 --> 00:05:27,021
Go get the fancy cheese.

112
00:05:27,021 --> 00:05:32,021
I'd like to ask some questions,
if you don't mind.

113
00:05:32,021 --> 00:05:35,021
Are you gay, and if so,
do you have a gay lover

114
00:05:35,021 --> 00:05:39,021
living with you
in the house?

115
00:05:39,021 --> 00:05:42,021
Gay? No, I'm not gay.

116
00:05:42,021 --> 00:05:44,021
I mean, I happen to think
a man looks nice

117
00:05:44,021 --> 00:05:46,021
with good hair and a ponytail.

118
00:05:46,021 --> 00:05:48,021
But, no, mm-mm, I'm not gay.

119
00:05:48,021 --> 00:05:51,021
What's your position
on gay marriage?

120
00:05:51,021 --> 00:05:52,021
Well, first of all,

121
00:05:52,021 --> 00:05:54,021
I believe all marriage
is wrong.

122
00:05:58,021 --> 00:06:00,021
Good one, good.

123
00:06:00,021 --> 00:06:02,021
Uh, you don't look
like you associate

124
00:06:03,021 --> 00:06:05,021
with any Muslims,
Arabs, you know.

125
00:06:05,021 --> 00:06:07,021
People of terrorist descent?

126
00:06:09,021 --> 00:06:11,021
Uh, well...

127
00:06:11,021 --> 00:06:12,021
RILEY:
We got Kraft,

128
00:06:12,021 --> 00:06:14,021
and we got Velveeta.

129
00:06:18,021 --> 00:06:19,021
Your grandson?

130
00:06:20,021 --> 00:06:22,021
Afraid so. Ahem.

131
00:06:23,021 --> 00:06:26,021
You know, I have a grandson too.
He's--

132
00:06:26,021 --> 00:06:27,021
Is that right?

133
00:06:27,021 --> 00:06:28,021
Well, heh-heh-heh,

134
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:30,021
this has been delightful.

135
00:06:30,021 --> 00:06:33,021
Well, it's really been
a pleasure, Mr., uh--

136
00:06:33,021 --> 00:06:34,021
I-Own-Everything.

137
00:06:34,021 --> 00:06:35,021
We should get together soon

138
00:06:35,021 --> 00:06:38,021
and have, uh...
more cheese.

139
00:06:38,021 --> 00:06:40,021
Like a nice Brie
or a G-Gouda--

140
00:06:40,021 --> 00:06:41,021
G-Gayda-- Gouda.

141
00:06:41,021 --> 00:06:44,021
Heh. You know, you're
my kind of guy, Freeman.

142
00:06:44,021 --> 00:06:45,021
Old school.

143
00:06:47,021 --> 00:06:48,021
What are you doin' tomorrow?

144
00:06:48,021 --> 00:06:49,021
We're throwin' a garden party

145
00:06:49,021 --> 00:06:51,021
for my grandson.

146
00:06:51,021 --> 00:06:53,021
He just got back from Iraq.

147
00:06:53,021 --> 00:06:56,021
You should stop by,
meet some of the neighbors.

148
00:06:56,021 --> 00:06:58,021
Bring the kids.

149
00:06:58,021 --> 00:07:00,021
Sounds like a splendid idea.

150
00:07:00,021 --> 00:07:01,021
I'll see you tomorrow.

151
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:02,021
Uh, thanks for stoppin' by.

152
00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:04,021
Cheers.

153
00:07:07,021 --> 00:07:09,021
Huey!

154
00:07:09,021 --> 00:07:11,021
GRANDDAD:
This damn thing looks real.

155
00:07:11,021 --> 00:07:13,021
Can I have my gun back?

156
00:07:15,021 --> 00:07:16,021
Son of a--!

157
00:07:17,021 --> 00:07:18,021
GRANDDAD:
A garden party?

158
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,021
Yeah, boy.

159
00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:21,021
I might buy sandals
and new underwear.

160
00:07:21,021 --> 00:07:23,021
Oh, you shot me!

161
00:07:23,021 --> 00:07:26,021
Granddad tried
to assassinate me.

162
00:07:26,021 --> 00:07:29,021
Boy, what did I tell ya?
This is the new white man.

163
00:07:29,021 --> 00:07:31,021
He's distinguished.

164
00:07:31,021 --> 00:07:34,021
Granddad, I do not sip tea
with the enemy.

165
00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:36,021
You could force me to go,

166
00:07:36,021 --> 00:07:38,021
but you cannot force me
to be someone I'm not.

167
00:07:38,021 --> 00:07:41,021
The hell I can't!

168
00:07:41,021 --> 00:07:43,021
You gonna go and you're
not gonna embarrass me

169
00:07:43,021 --> 00:07:45,021
in front of my new neighbors,
or I'm gonna beat your ass.

170
00:07:45,021 --> 00:07:48,021
Why can't we be ourselves, huh?
Why can't I be me?

171
00:07:48,021 --> 00:07:50,021
Are you ashamed of us?
Very.

172
00:07:50,021 --> 00:07:52,021
We never asked
to move here

173
00:07:52,021 --> 00:07:54,021
with your precious
new white people, Granddad.

174
00:07:54,021 --> 00:07:55,021
Didn't ask?

175
00:07:55,021 --> 00:07:56,021
Well, you didn't ask for us

176
00:07:57,021 --> 00:07:58,021
to be attacked
by dogs and fire hoses,

177
00:07:58,021 --> 00:08:00,021
so you can live here,
but we did it anyway.

178
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:02,021
Oh, here he go again with
the dogs and the fire hoses.

179
00:08:03,021 --> 00:08:05,021
Shoot, we  were  attacked
by dogs and fire hoses.

180
00:08:05,021 --> 00:08:06,021
Were you attacked?

181
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:10,021
I-I don't know what difference
that makes.

182
00:08:10,021 --> 00:08:12,021
Because it's like
the whole generation

183
00:08:12,021 --> 00:08:14,021
tries to take credit for
what happened to some people.

184
00:08:14,021 --> 00:08:16,021
That's ridiculous.

185
00:08:17,021 --> 00:08:18,021
Now, see--
Well, you know--

186
00:08:18,021 --> 00:08:20,021
Uh, what had happened was...

187
00:08:22,021 --> 00:08:23,021
MAN:
Get out of here.

188
00:08:22,021 --> 00:08:23,021
Go, go, go!

189
00:08:23,021 --> 00:08:26,021
MAN:
Come on, get out of here.

190
00:08:26,021 --> 00:08:27,021
Aw, man.

191
00:08:27,021 --> 00:08:29,021
I missed it.
Was it bad?

192
00:08:29,021 --> 00:08:31,021
Did they do the thing
with the fire hoses?

193
00:08:31,021 --> 00:08:33,021
What do you think, chump?

194
00:08:33,021 --> 00:08:35,021
Damn, what's eatin' you?

195
00:08:35,021 --> 00:08:37,021
A goddamn German shepherd,
that's what.

196
00:08:37,021 --> 00:08:38,021
Where was you?

197
00:08:38,021 --> 00:08:40,021
I-I had to go back
to the apartment

198
00:08:40,021 --> 00:08:41,021
'cause I forgot
my raincoat.

199
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,021
You went to--? You--?

200
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:45,021
This nigga went to get
a motherfuckin' raincoat.

201
00:08:45,021 --> 00:08:46,021
I can't believe you.

202
00:08:46,021 --> 00:08:48,021
We all been watchin'
the same news.

203
00:08:48,021 --> 00:08:51,021
The police been doin'
this fire hose thing all week.

204
00:08:51,021 --> 00:08:53,021
I just assumed
we'd all wear our raincoat.

205
00:08:53,021 --> 00:08:54,021
Damn it, Robert.

206
00:08:54,021 --> 00:08:56,021
Who the hell comes
to a march with a raincoat?

207
00:08:56,021 --> 00:08:57,021
Bet you wish
you had a coat now.

208
00:08:57,021 --> 00:08:59,021
You son of a bitch!

209
00:08:59,021 --> 00:09:02,021
GRANDDAD:
Remember what Dr. King said!

210
00:09:02,021 --> 00:09:04,021
Who actually got hit with
the fire hose ain't important.

211
00:09:04,021 --> 00:09:05,021
Now, we goin' to this party,

212
00:09:05,021 --> 00:09:08,021
and your black asses
are gonna behave.

213
00:09:08,021 --> 00:09:12,021
If I'm lucky, I'll find myself
a nice white woman

214
00:09:12,021 --> 00:09:15,021
with a flat booty
who'll listen to my problems.

215
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:27,021
GRANDDAD:
Now, the word for the day

216
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:27,021
is "behave."

217
00:09:27,021 --> 00:09:28,021
H-E-A-V-E.

218
00:09:28,021 --> 00:09:29,021
Behave.

219
00:09:29,021 --> 00:09:31,021
I'm comin', I'm comin'.

220
00:09:31,021 --> 00:09:33,021
Excuse me. Out of the way,
Kunta Kinte! Yes, sir.

221
00:09:33,021 --> 00:09:35,021
How can I help ya?

222
00:09:35,021 --> 00:09:37,021
GRANDDAD:
Excuse me?

223
00:09:39,021 --> 00:09:42,021
Oh, Lord have mercy.
Security. Security.

224
00:09:42,021 --> 00:09:44,021
We got a Code Black.

225
00:09:44,021 --> 00:09:46,021
Code Black at the main gate.

226
00:09:46,021 --> 00:09:48,021
:  ■ Ruckus, what the hell

227
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:49,021
is a Code Black?

228
00:09:49,021 --> 00:09:51,021
There are some hungry-lookin'

229
00:09:51,021 --> 00:09:53,021
niggas at the front gate.

230
00:09:53,021 --> 00:09:54,021
What y'all doin' here?

231
00:09:54,021 --> 00:09:57,021
Deliveries are in the back.

232
00:09:57,021 --> 00:09:58,021
Well, my name is Robert Freeman,

233
00:09:58,021 --> 00:10:00,021
I was invited here
by Ed Wuncler.

234
00:10:00,021 --> 00:10:04,021
Well, I'm Ruckus.
Uncle Ruckus, no relation.

235
00:10:04,021 --> 00:10:06,021
And I work for Mr. Wuncler.

236
00:10:06,021 --> 00:10:07,021
And you slick niggas

237
00:10:07,021 --> 00:10:10,021
ain't gonna fast-talk your way
into this here party.

238
00:10:10,021 --> 00:10:12,021
Ruckus, what the hell
are you doing?

239
00:10:12,021 --> 00:10:13,021
Uh, Mr. Freeman,

240
00:10:13,021 --> 00:10:16,021
I'm sorry.
Please, come this way.

241
00:10:16,021 --> 00:10:17,021
GRANDDAD:
See, boys?

242
00:10:17,021 --> 00:10:19,021
And you thought we'd be
the only black people.

243
00:11:05,021 --> 00:11:07,021
WUNCLER:
Robert!

244
00:11:09,021 --> 00:11:12,021
Glad you made it, Robert.
This is my grandson, Ed III.

245
00:11:12,021 --> 00:11:13,021
How are you?

246
00:11:13,021 --> 00:11:14,021
Whassup y'all, what's good?

247
00:11:16,021 --> 00:11:19,021
Uh...so I understand
you just got back from Iraq.

248
00:11:19,021 --> 00:11:20,021
For real?

249
00:11:20,021 --> 00:11:21,021
Yo, what's it like?

250
00:11:21,021 --> 00:11:23,021
What's it like?

251
00:11:23,021 --> 00:11:25,021
What I supposed
to say to that?

252
00:11:25,021 --> 00:11:28,021
It was cool, there was bitches?

253
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,021
Okay, there was bitches,
but a lot of them had,

254
00:11:30,021 --> 00:11:31,021
you know, they was covered up

255
00:11:31,021 --> 00:11:33,021
in them curtains and stuff
they be wearin'.

256
00:11:33,021 --> 00:11:35,021
But I digress.

257
00:11:35,021 --> 00:11:37,021
It was war!

258
00:11:37,021 --> 00:11:39,021
It was war, basically.

259
00:11:39,021 --> 00:11:40,021
War, you know what that's like?

260
00:11:40,021 --> 00:11:42,021
Motherfuckers be,
like, shootin':

261
00:11:44,021 --> 00:11:46,021
Bombs blowin' up.

262
00:11:46,021 --> 00:11:47,021
And, you know,
the shit scared me.

263
00:11:47,021 --> 00:11:48,021
It scared the shit out of me.

264
00:11:48,021 --> 00:11:51,021
Matter of fact, I shit on myself
over a dozen times

265
00:11:51,021 --> 00:11:54,021
and ran out of toilet paper
after the second time.

266
00:11:54,021 --> 00:11:58,021
So you know
what that meant, right?

267
00:11:58,021 --> 00:12:00,021
I had to use the thumb, man.
It was kind of nasty.

268
00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,021
But, you know,
the good thing about it

269
00:12:02,021 --> 00:12:04,021
was they stopped taking me
out on patrol.

270
00:12:04,021 --> 00:12:06,021
'Cause my name
became "Stink Bomb."

271
00:12:06,021 --> 00:12:07,021
You know what I'm sayin'?

272
00:12:07,021 --> 00:12:09,021
They said, you know,
I was giving away our position

273
00:12:09,021 --> 00:12:10,021
because of the shit smell.

274
00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:12,021
That was fine with me,
you know what I'm sayin'.

275
00:12:12,021 --> 00:12:14,021
They-- They wanted
to leave me back.

276
00:12:14,021 --> 00:12:16,021
And I was like:
"Well, fuck y'all.

277
00:12:16,021 --> 00:12:18,021
"Y'all go ahead on 'cause
I don't need y'all anyway.

278
00:12:18,021 --> 00:12:20,021
I'm rich, bitch."

279
00:12:24,021 --> 00:12:26,021
The fuck y'all looking at?

280
00:12:26,021 --> 00:12:28,021
Hey, li'l man.

281
00:12:29,021 --> 00:12:30,021
Like guns?

282
00:12:31,021 --> 00:12:32,021
Yeah!

283
00:12:32,021 --> 00:12:34,021
C'mon.

284
00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:36,021
Come on, let's get that drink.

285
00:12:43,021 --> 00:12:45,021
MAN:
Well, you should definitely see

286
00:12:43,021 --> 00:12:45,021
The Passion.

287
00:12:46,021 --> 00:12:47,021
It's a very important movie.

288
00:12:47,021 --> 00:12:49,021
Couldn't see it.
White Jesus.

289
00:12:49,021 --> 00:12:51,021
Excuse me?

290
00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:52,021
Come on, man.

291
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:55,021
It's supposed to be
all historically accurate,

292
00:12:55,021 --> 00:12:56,021
and they still have
a white man

293
00:12:56,021 --> 00:12:58,021
playin' Jesus?

294
00:12:58,021 --> 00:13:00,021
That's some old bullshit.

295
00:13:00,021 --> 00:13:03,021
Young man,
you speak so well.

296
00:13:07,021 --> 00:13:08,021
RUCKUS:
Well,

297
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:10,021
la-di-da-di-do.

298
00:13:10,021 --> 00:13:13,021
Look like we got us
the winner

299
00:13:13,021 --> 00:13:16,021
of the Lucky-Nigga-of-the-Year
award.

300
00:13:17,021 --> 00:13:18,021
Ah.

301
00:13:19,021 --> 00:13:22,021
They must think
the sun shine out your ass.

302
00:13:22,021 --> 00:13:25,021
Mr. Wuncler's
been very nice, yes.

303
00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:28,021
They must think you
Sidney fucking Poitier.

304
00:13:28,021 --> 00:13:29,021
Well,

305
00:13:29,021 --> 00:13:32,021
I been workin'
for Mr. Wuncler for 20 years.

306
00:13:32,021 --> 00:13:34,021
I ain't never got invited
to the party.

307
00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:38,021
Shoot, he don't even let me
use the front door.

308
00:13:38,021 --> 00:13:39,021
But you wouldn't know
about that,

309
00:13:39,021 --> 00:13:43,021
now, would ya, Mr. Tibbs?

310
00:13:43,021 --> 00:13:44,021
Oh, yeah.

311
00:13:44,021 --> 00:13:47,021
They must think
your shit smell

312
00:13:47,021 --> 00:13:50,021
like spring daisies
and cinnamon.

313
00:13:52,021 --> 00:13:53,021
Check this out.

314
00:13:53,021 --> 00:13:54,021
Wow.

315
00:13:54,021 --> 00:13:57,021
Are those real?

316
00:13:57,021 --> 00:13:59,021
Real?

317
00:13:59,021 --> 00:14:01,021
Put it this way:

318
00:14:01,021 --> 00:14:04,021
if I pick one up
and put it to your face,

319
00:14:04,021 --> 00:14:06,021
pull the trigger,
will you be dead?

320
00:14:13,021 --> 00:14:14,021
HUEY:
And all I'm saying is,

321
00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:16,021
Ronald Reagan was the devil.

322
00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:20,021
You are such
an articulate young man.

323
00:14:20,021 --> 00:14:22,021
I'm tryin' to explain to you

324
00:14:22,021 --> 00:14:24,021
that Ronald Reagan was
the devil.

325
00:14:24,021 --> 00:14:26,021
Ronald Wilson Reagan.

326
00:14:26,021 --> 00:14:28,021
Each of his names
has six letters.

327
00:14:28,021 --> 00:14:30,021
Six-six-six.

328
00:14:30,021 --> 00:14:31,021
Man, doesn't
that offend you?

329
00:14:31,021 --> 00:14:34,021
I love this kid.

330
00:14:34,021 --> 00:14:36,021
Stop that.
What are you doin'?

331
00:14:36,021 --> 00:14:37,021
Stop clappin'.

332
00:14:39,021 --> 00:14:41,021
Having a good time, Robert?

333
00:14:41,021 --> 00:14:42,021
I-It's, uh...

334
00:14:43,021 --> 00:14:45,021
Come on,
have a drink with me.

335
00:14:45,021 --> 00:14:47,021
You look nervous.

336
00:14:47,021 --> 00:14:51,021
Do I make you nervous,
Free-man?

337
00:14:51,021 --> 00:14:53,021
Nervous? No.

338
00:14:53,021 --> 00:14:57,021
I was just, uh, keepin' an eye
out for the boys.

339
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:59,021
This is a lovely party.

340
00:14:59,021 --> 00:15:02,021
The only joy
I get from these parties

341
00:15:02,021 --> 00:15:04,021
is standing around,
telling mean-spirited jokes

342
00:15:04,021 --> 00:15:07,021
at other people's expense.

343
00:15:07,021 --> 00:15:08,021
I do that too.

344
00:15:08,021 --> 00:15:10,021
Check out that guy.

345
00:15:10,021 --> 00:15:14,021
Why is his face
all twisted up like that?

346
00:15:14,021 --> 00:15:17,021
Looks like he jacks off
with Icy Hot.

347
00:15:20,021 --> 00:15:23,021
He looks like
he just shit a gerbil.

348
00:15:27,021 --> 00:15:28,021
A gerbil.

349
00:15:29,021 --> 00:15:32,021
Sorry, I'll be right back.

350
00:15:34,021 --> 00:15:36,021
HUEY:
Tell me this,

351
00:15:36,021 --> 00:15:37,021
why was all the video recordin'

352
00:15:37,021 --> 00:15:40,021
of the Pentagon attack
seized by the FBI

353
00:15:40,021 --> 00:15:41,021
and never seen again?

354
00:15:41,021 --> 00:15:43,021
He speaks so well.

355
00:15:43,021 --> 00:15:45,021
He's adorable.

356
00:15:45,021 --> 00:15:46,021
Are you even listenin'

357
00:15:46,021 --> 00:15:48,021
to what I'm sayin'?

358
00:15:48,021 --> 00:15:49,021
Nigga, if you ruin
this party for me,

359
00:15:50,021 --> 00:15:52,021
I'll put my--
Ruin the party? They love me.

360
00:15:52,021 --> 00:15:54,021
These people aren't worried
about us.

361
00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:57,021
They're not worried
about anything. They're rich.

362
00:15:57,021 --> 00:15:58,021
No matter what happens,

363
00:15:58,021 --> 00:16:00,021
these people will
just keep applaudin'.

364
00:16:05,021 --> 00:16:06,021
: Ahem. Attention please.

365
00:16:06,021 --> 00:16:11,021
My name is Uncle Ruckus, no relation.

366
00:16:11,021 --> 00:16:15,021
I want to sing y'all a brand
new song I just wrote called:

367
00:16:15,021 --> 00:16:18,021
"Don't Trust Them New Niggas
Over There."

368
00:16:18,021 --> 00:16:21,021
Sing along
if you know the words.

369
00:16:26,021 --> 00:16:30,021
Over there

370
00:16:30,021 --> 00:16:34,021
In the air

371
00:16:34,021 --> 00:16:37,021
Nappy-head niggas

372
00:16:40,021 --> 00:16:44,021
Over there

373
00:16:44,021 --> 00:16:48,021
Are you sure that vest'll stop
this shotgun?

374
00:16:48,021 --> 00:16:52,021
Man, I'm like the Terminator
in this vest.

375
00:16:53,021 --> 00:16:56,021
RUCKUS:

376
00:16:57,021 --> 00:16:59,021
What? You don't believe me?

377
00:16:59,021 --> 00:17:01,021
Go ahead!

378
00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:02,021
Pull the trigger.

379
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,021
Now, are you sure that--?

380
00:17:05,021 --> 00:17:06,021
I said pull that trigger now!

381
00:17:06,021 --> 00:17:08,021
You wanna play rough?

382
00:17:08,021 --> 00:17:09,021
Okay.

383
00:17:09,021 --> 00:17:14,021
Over yonder

384
00:17:14,021 --> 00:17:18,021
It'll make you wonder

385
00:17:21,021 --> 00:17:24,021
Nigga-figures

386
00:17:34,021 --> 00:17:37,021
I think the N-word is okay,
as long as they say it.

387
00:17:39,021 --> 00:17:41,021
See?

388
00:17:42,021 --> 00:17:44,021
Say hello to my little friend.

389
00:17:57,021 --> 00:17:58,021
Fuck y'all lookin' at?

390
00:18:17,021 --> 00:18:19,021
Hey, you think we in trouble?

391
00:18:19,021 --> 00:18:21,021
You shot his grandson
out the window.

392
00:18:21,021 --> 00:18:22,021
What you think?

393
00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:26,021
I don't know.

394
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:27,021
I didn't want to move here,

395
00:18:27,021 --> 00:18:30,021
but I don't really want Granddad
to lose his house.

396
00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:32,021
He worked his whole life
to get here.

397
00:18:32,021 --> 00:18:36,021
Man, I like that house.

398
00:18:36,021 --> 00:18:39,021
Oh, well,
I shot a nigga!

399
00:18:43,021 --> 00:18:45,021
Mr. Wuncler,

400
00:18:45,021 --> 00:18:49,021
I'm...sorry about
the whole, you know,

401
00:18:49,021 --> 00:18:51,021
my grandson shooting
your grandson

402
00:18:51,021 --> 00:18:53,021
out of the window thing.

403
00:18:53,021 --> 00:18:55,021
Are you mad?

404
00:18:55,021 --> 00:18:57,021
In 30 years,

405
00:18:57,021 --> 00:19:01,021
that boy will be the president
of the United States.

406
00:19:01,021 --> 00:19:04,021
And he'll still
be a fucking idiot.

407
00:19:04,021 --> 00:19:06,021
Whew.

408
00:19:06,021 --> 00:19:08,021
Now, are we gonna have
that drink or what?

409
00:19:10,021 --> 00:19:12,021
Glad you were able
to make it, Robert.

410
00:19:12,021 --> 00:19:14,021
To the old school.

411
00:19:14,021 --> 00:19:16,021
To the old school.