1 00:00:02,021 --> 00:00:03,021 : I am not a prophet. 2 00:00:03,021 --> 00:00:06,021 But sometimes I have prophetic dreams. 3 00:00:06,021 --> 00:00:09,021 Like the one where I was at a garden party. 4 00:00:16,021 --> 00:00:18,021 Excuse me. 5 00:00:18,021 --> 00:00:21,021 Everyone, I have a brief announcement to make. 6 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:24,021 Jesus was black, Ronald Reagan was the devil, 7 00:00:24,021 --> 00:00:27,021 and the government is lyin' about 9/11. 8 00:00:27,021 --> 00:00:30,021 Thank you for your time and good night. 9 00:00:31,021 --> 00:00:33,021 No! 10 00:00:33,021 --> 00:00:35,021 That can't be true! 11 00:00:35,021 --> 00:00:37,021 : Here's something 12 00:00:35,021 --> 00:00:37,021 black people have known 13 00:00:37,021 --> 00:00:38,021 for a couple of hundred years: 14 00:00:38,021 --> 00:00:40,021 Niggas are crazy. 15 00:00:40,021 --> 00:00:43,021 Black people don't like to talk about crazy niggas in public 16 00:00:42,021 --> 00:00:43,021 Unhand me! 17 00:00:43,021 --> 00:00:45,021 'cause white people may be listening. 18 00:00:44,021 --> 00:00:45,021 Hi-ya! 19 00:00:45,021 --> 00:00:46,021 But I'm afraid the secret might be out. 20 00:00:47,021 --> 00:00:48,021 MAN: He's on fire! 21 00:00:47,021 --> 00:00:49,021 : Former singer Whitney Houston 22 00:00:47,021 --> 00:00:49,021 appeared in court 23 00:00:48,021 --> 00:00:49,021 Somebody get some water. 24 00:00:49,021 --> 00:00:51,021 alongside husband Bobby Brown, 25 00:00:51,021 --> 00:00:52,021 Ow! 26 00:00:51,021 --> 00:00:53,021 who's facing battery charges 27 00:00:52,021 --> 00:00:54,021 Mm-hm. You havin' that dream where you made 28 00:00:53,021 --> 00:00:55,021 for allegedly beating his once-respectable wife. 29 00:00:54,021 --> 00:00:55,021 the white people riot, weren't ya? 30 00:00:55,021 --> 00:00:57,021 But I was tellin' the truth! 31 00:00:55,021 --> 00:00:57,021 Hell to nah! Bobby don't hit me. 32 00:00:57,021 --> 00:01:00,021 How many times have I told you, you better not even dream 33 00:00:57,021 --> 00:01:00,021 See, we have this TV show, a-and it's-- It's our TV show. 34 00:01:00,021 --> 00:01:01,021 about tellin' white folk the truth? 35 00:01:00,021 --> 00:01:01,021 And I was tryin' to get more time on it. 36 00:01:01,021 --> 00:01:02,021 You understand me? 37 00:01:01,021 --> 00:01:03,021 It's my show, bitch! 38 00:01:02,021 --> 00:01:04,021 Shoot. 39 00:01:04,021 --> 00:01:06,021 Makin' white people riot. 40 00:01:05,021 --> 00:01:08,021 You know, I think they're on drugs. 41 00:01:06,021 --> 00:01:08,021 You better learn how to lie like me. 42 00:01:08,021 --> 00:01:11,021 I'm gonna find me a white man and lie to him right now. 43 00:01:08,021 --> 00:01:10,021 Let's see what's on BET. 44 00:01:10,021 --> 00:01:12,021 Oh, Lordy-Lord. Oh, shake it to the right. 45 00:01:12,021 --> 00:01:14,021 Mm. Shake it, shake it, shake. 46 00:01:14,021 --> 00:01:16,021 You boys cover your eyes. Shake, shake, shake. 47 00:01:17,021 --> 00:01:20,021 Got to leave something to the imagination. 48 00:01:20,021 --> 00:01:22,021 That's just showin' too much booty. Turn it. 49 00:01:22,021 --> 00:01:24,021 And on our "Talking Points" this evening, 50 00:01:24,021 --> 00:01:26,021 it seems like the hip-hop community 51 00:01:26,021 --> 00:01:28,021 is trading in their gold chains 52 00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:30,021 for gold showers. 53 00:01:30,021 --> 00:01:33,021 Hip-hop singer R. Kelly is on trial again this week 54 00:01:33,021 --> 00:01:35,021 for sharing some of his liquid bling 55 00:01:36,021 --> 00:01:38,021 with yet another underage girl. 56 00:01:38,021 --> 00:01:39,021 Some advice for Mr. Kelly: 57 00:01:39,021 --> 00:01:42,021 Next time, use a golden shower curtain 58 00:01:42,021 --> 00:01:44,021 and keep your golden showers to yourself. 59 00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:46,021 What's wrong with a man giving away a golden shower? 60 00:01:46,021 --> 00:01:48,021 Sounds like a nice gift to me. 61 00:01:50,021 --> 00:01:52,021 What? Shoot, I wish somebody gave me a golden shower. 62 00:01:54,021 --> 00:01:56,021 One, I like gold. Two, I like showers. 63 00:01:58,021 --> 00:02:00,021 Put it together, hey, that sound like the life. 64 00:02:00,021 --> 00:02:01,021 Hoo! 65 00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:03,021 If you're good, 66 00:02:02,021 --> 00:02:04,021 Sorry, Billy Blanks, but why buy the tape 67 00:02:04,021 --> 00:02:07,021 Santa Claus might give you a golden shower for Christmas. 68 00:02:05,021 --> 00:02:07,021 when you can get the infomercial for free? 69 00:02:07,021 --> 00:02:08,021 Whew! 70 00:02:07,021 --> 00:02:08,021 Christmas? 71 00:02:08,021 --> 00:02:11,021 My man Santa. 72 00:02:11,021 --> 00:02:14,021 And controversial R & B superstar R. Kelly 73 00:02:14,021 --> 00:02:16,021 will be heading into court tomorrow 74 00:02:16,021 --> 00:02:18,021 What the hell? 75 00:02:16,021 --> 00:02:19,021 for the first day of his latest highly anticipated trial 76 00:02:19,021 --> 00:02:21,021 Boys! 77 00:02:19,021 --> 00:02:21,021 for child pornography 78 00:02:21,021 --> 00:02:23,021 and lewd acts with a local minor. 79 00:02:23,021 --> 00:02:26,021 Granddad, can you take us into the city tomorrow 80 00:02:24,021 --> 00:02:26,021 Would one of y'all like to explain this? 81 00:02:26,021 --> 00:02:27,021 Uh... 82 00:02:26,021 --> 00:02:28,021 to watch the R. Kelly trial? 83 00:02:28,021 --> 00:02:31,021 You mean, the orange juice or the miniskirt? 84 00:02:28,021 --> 00:02:29,021 Hell, no. 85 00:02:29,021 --> 00:02:31,021 But you can walk. 86 00:02:31,021 --> 00:02:33,021 Which one of y'all drank the last glass of orange juice? 87 00:02:31,021 --> 00:02:32,021 It's 40 miles. 88 00:02:33,021 --> 00:02:35,021 That's the last full day's supply of vitamin C. 89 00:02:33,021 --> 00:02:35,021 All the money I spent on them damn Nikes? 90 00:02:35,021 --> 00:02:37,021 Heh. You better "just do it." 91 00:02:36,021 --> 00:02:38,021 What am I supposed to do about my vitamin C now? 92 00:02:37,021 --> 00:02:39,021 Assistant District Attorney Thomas DuBois 93 00:02:38,021 --> 00:02:41,021 Y'all need to start appreciatin' your granddaddy. 94 00:02:39,021 --> 00:02:41,021 is leading the prosecution of Kelly 95 00:02:41,021 --> 00:02:42,021 I went and spent your inheritance 96 00:02:41,021 --> 00:02:43,021 and has a mountain of evidence 97 00:02:42,021 --> 00:02:44,021 on this beautiful house in this neighborhood. 98 00:02:43,021 --> 00:02:44,021 against the famous R & B performer, 99 00:02:44,021 --> 00:02:47,021 including a videotape allegedly showing Kelly 100 00:02:45,021 --> 00:02:46,021 And all I ask you to do 101 00:02:46,021 --> 00:02:47,021 is act like you got some class. 102 00:02:47,021 --> 00:02:49,021 Hey, what's class? 103 00:02:47,021 --> 00:02:50,021 urinating on a 14-year-old girl, 104 00:02:49,021 --> 00:02:51,021 It means don't act like niggas. 105 00:02:50,021 --> 00:02:51,021 which is widely available for download 106 00:02:51,021 --> 00:02:54,021 S-see? That's what I'm talkin' about right there. 107 00:02:51,021 --> 00:02:55,021 at www.FreeToPee.com. Ooh. 108 00:02:54,021 --> 00:02:55,021 We don't use the N-word in this house. 109 00:02:56,021 --> 00:02:58,021 Granddad, you said the word "nigga" 46 times yesterday. 110 00:02:56,021 --> 00:02:58,021 I'm gonna go, uh... 111 00:02:58,021 --> 00:02:59,021 I counted. 112 00:02:58,021 --> 00:03:00,021 check my e-mail. 113 00:02:59,021 --> 00:03:00,021 Nigga, hush. 114 00:03:00,021 --> 00:03:01,021 Now, you may not like it, 115 00:03:00,021 --> 00:03:01,021 Yeah. 116 00:03:02,021 --> 00:03:04,021 but I moved y'all out here 117 00:03:04,021 --> 00:03:05,021 to expand your horizon. 118 00:03:04,021 --> 00:03:06,021 Get your little short ass back here! 119 00:03:05,021 --> 00:03:08,021 There's a new white man out here. 120 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,021 He's refined. 121 00:03:09,021 --> 00:03:10,021 For example, did you know 122 00:03:11,021 --> 00:03:13,021 that the new white man loves gourmet cheese? 123 00:03:11,021 --> 00:03:12,021 TOM: Hey, boys! 124 00:03:13,021 --> 00:03:14,021 Wait. 125 00:03:14,021 --> 00:03:16,021 I'm sorry, did you say cheese? 126 00:03:16,021 --> 00:03:18,021 Yep, cheese. 127 00:03:16,021 --> 00:03:17,021 Hey there, Huey. Riley. 128 00:03:18,021 --> 00:03:20,021 You give the meanest white man a piece of cheese, 129 00:03:18,021 --> 00:03:19,021 I couldn't help but notice your sign, 130 00:03:19,021 --> 00:03:21,021 and I hope you boys aren't too upset about me 131 00:03:20,021 --> 00:03:22,021 and he turn into Mr. Rogers. 132 00:03:21,021 --> 00:03:23,021 having to prosecute Mr. Kelly. 133 00:03:22,021 --> 00:03:23,021 Granddad, that doesn't make sense. 134 00:03:23,021 --> 00:03:24,021 Don't you talk back to me. 135 00:03:23,021 --> 00:03:25,021 Hey, man, you do what you gotta do. 136 00:03:25,021 --> 00:03:26,021 Granddad, you can't tame 137 00:03:25,021 --> 00:03:28,021 Why R. Kelly, huh? What did R. Kelly do to you? 138 00:03:26,021 --> 00:03:28,021 the white supremacist power structure with cheese! 139 00:03:28,021 --> 00:03:30,021 Oh, yes, I can! No, you can't! 140 00:03:28,021 --> 00:03:30,021 He's accused of relieving himself 141 00:03:30,021 --> 00:03:31,021 GRANDDAD: Yes, I can! No, you can not! 142 00:03:30,021 --> 00:03:32,021 on an underage girl on tape, 143 00:03:32,021 --> 00:03:32,021 HUEY: Cheese. 144 00:03:32,021 --> 00:03:33,021 which is against the law. 145 00:03:33,021 --> 00:03:34,021 How can somebody that old 146 00:03:33,021 --> 00:03:35,021 Okay, okay, okay. 147 00:03:34,021 --> 00:03:36,021 say somethin' that stupid? 148 00:03:35,021 --> 00:03:38,021 But let's examine this whole peein' thing. 149 00:03:36,021 --> 00:03:38,021 RILEY: I know about white people too. 150 00:03:38,021 --> 00:03:39,021 Like, when they talk, 151 00:03:38,021 --> 00:03:40,021 So I can pee in a toilet, and it's okay, 152 00:03:39,021 --> 00:03:45,021 they say the whole word, 153 00:03:39,021 --> 00:03:45,021 like this. 154 00:03:40,021 --> 00:03:43,021 but if I pee on a person, it's, like, not okay? 155 00:03:43,021 --> 00:03:46,021 Well...yeah. 156 00:03:45,021 --> 00:03:48,021 HUEY: Why'd he even move us 157 00:03:45,021 --> 00:03:48,021 out here? 158 00:03:46,021 --> 00:03:49,021 Well, what if I'm peein', and Huey's in the bathroom, 159 00:03:48,021 --> 00:03:50,021 Probably did it just to make us miserable. 160 00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:51,021 and I accidentally pee on Huey? 161 00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:53,021 RILEY: And white people take time out 162 00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:53,021 to study. 163 00:03:51,021 --> 00:03:52,021 Should I go to jail? 164 00:03:52,021 --> 00:03:54,021 What the hell would I be doin' in the bathroom 165 00:03:53,021 --> 00:03:55,021 I hate this place. 166 00:03:54,021 --> 00:03:55,021 while you're in the bathroom? 167 00:03:55,021 --> 00:03:58,021 RILEY: And white people arrest you. 168 00:03:55,021 --> 00:03:57,021 Hold up, hold up. 169 00:03:57,021 --> 00:03:58,021 Remember when we used to sleep in the same bed 170 00:03:58,021 --> 00:03:59,021 Man. 171 00:03:59,021 --> 00:04:00,021 when we was littler? 172 00:04:00,021 --> 00:04:02,021 From time to time, I'd have a little accident. 173 00:04:02,021 --> 00:04:03,021 RILEY: Hey! 174 00:04:02,021 --> 00:04:04,021 You still do. Shut up. 175 00:04:04,021 --> 00:04:06,021 So, Mr. DuBois, 176 00:04:06,021 --> 00:04:08,021 Looks like the feds. 177 00:04:06,021 --> 00:04:10,021 Mr. "I Wanna Lock Niggas Up for Peein'," 178 00:04:10,021 --> 00:04:12,021 what's the statute of limitations on bed-wettin'? 179 00:04:12,021 --> 00:04:16,021 Why not prosecute me and R. Kelly at the same time, huh? 180 00:04:16,021 --> 00:04:19,021 Now, Riley, no one's going to prosecute you 181 00:04:17,021 --> 00:04:19,021 Who the hell could be knockin' on this door 182 00:04:19,021 --> 00:04:21,021 this early in the mornin'? 183 00:04:19,021 --> 00:04:20,021 for bed-wetting. 184 00:04:20,021 --> 00:04:22,021 And you shouldn't. 185 00:04:21,021 --> 00:04:23,021 If it's a Jehovah Witness, I'm kickin' his ass. 186 00:04:22,021 --> 00:04:24,021 It's a natural bodily function. 187 00:04:23,021 --> 00:04:24,021 Yes? 188 00:04:24,021 --> 00:04:27,021 I'm looking for Robert Freeman. 189 00:04:24,021 --> 00:04:27,021 And now every nigga in the world gonna be scared to pee. 190 00:04:27,021 --> 00:04:28,021 I'm Robert Freeman. 191 00:04:27,021 --> 00:04:29,021 I may never pee again! 192 00:04:28,021 --> 00:04:31,021 I'm Ed Wuncler. 193 00:04:29,021 --> 00:04:31,021 Riley, it was a little girl! 194 00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:33,021 From Wuncler's Savings and Loan. 195 00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:34,021 Oh, I seen that girl. She ain't little. 196 00:04:34,021 --> 00:04:35,021 Uh, so? 197 00:04:34,021 --> 00:04:36,021 I'm little. Yes. 198 00:04:35,021 --> 00:04:39,021 I own the bank that owns your house. 199 00:04:36,021 --> 00:04:37,021 Gary Coleman's little. Yes. 200 00:04:37,021 --> 00:04:39,021 Mini-Me is little. Very. 201 00:04:39,021 --> 00:04:40,021 Oh, well-- 202 00:04:39,021 --> 00:04:41,021 And to the best of my knowledge, 203 00:04:40,021 --> 00:04:41,021 Come in, sir. 204 00:04:41,021 --> 00:04:43,021 Welcome to your house. 205 00:04:41,021 --> 00:04:43,021 we all managed to avoid gettin' peed on so far. 206 00:04:43,021 --> 00:04:45,021 But what about the victim? 207 00:04:45,021 --> 00:04:48,021 Oh, yes, the victim. 208 00:04:47,021 --> 00:04:53,021 Robert, my family founded Woodcrest over 170 years ago. 209 00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:50,021 At what point does personal responsibility 210 00:04:50,021 --> 00:04:52,021 become a factor in this equation? 211 00:04:52,021 --> 00:04:53,021 I don't think that-- 212 00:04:53,021 --> 00:04:56,021 I was born here, and I still live here. 213 00:04:53,021 --> 00:04:55,021 I see piss comin', I move. 214 00:04:53,021 --> 00:04:55,021 Mm. 215 00:04:55,021 --> 00:04:56,021 She saw piss comin', she stayed. 216 00:04:56,021 --> 00:04:59,021 I consider this place to be family, 217 00:04:56,021 --> 00:04:57,021 Yes, she did, but-- 218 00:04:57,021 --> 00:04:59,021 And why should I have to miss out 219 00:04:59,021 --> 00:05:01,021 on the next R. Kelly album just for that? 220 00:05:00,021 --> 00:05:02,021 and I'm very selective 221 00:05:02,021 --> 00:05:05,021 about who I allow in to that family. 222 00:05:03,021 --> 00:05:07,021 Man, you just got beat by an 8-year-old. 223 00:05:06,021 --> 00:05:08,021 You understand what I'm saying, Robert? 224 00:05:07,021 --> 00:05:11,021 And if R. Kelly goes to jail, I'll piss on your cat! 225 00:05:08,021 --> 00:05:11,021 Hey, yes, I totally understand. 226 00:05:11,021 --> 00:05:13,021 Would you like some... 227 00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,021 cheese? 228 00:05:15,021 --> 00:05:18,021 Did you just offer me cheese? 229 00:05:18,021 --> 00:05:19,021 Yes, I did. 230 00:05:19,021 --> 00:05:20,021 RUCKUS: I tell you, 231 00:05:20,021 --> 00:05:22,021 it sure is beautiful out here. 232 00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:23,021 I'd love some cheese, thank you. 233 00:05:22,021 --> 00:05:25,021 White folks sure know how to make some nice foliage. 234 00:05:23,021 --> 00:05:24,021 Hm. 235 00:05:24,021 --> 00:05:26,021 Riley! 236 00:05:25,021 --> 00:05:27,021 Ah, come on, Ruckus. 237 00:05:26,021 --> 00:05:27,021 Go get the fancy cheese. 238 00:05:27,021 --> 00:05:32,021 I'd like to ask some questions, if you don't mind. 239 00:05:27,021 --> 00:05:30,021 You can't give the white man credit for the trees. 240 00:05:30,021 --> 00:05:35,021 Where them two little nappy-headed grandkids of yours? 241 00:05:32,021 --> 00:05:35,021 Are you gay, and if so, do you have a gay lover 242 00:05:35,021 --> 00:05:39,021 living with you in the house? 243 00:05:35,021 --> 00:05:36,021 Ah, they went into the city 244 00:05:36,021 --> 00:05:37,021 to watch the trial of that singer. 245 00:05:37,021 --> 00:05:39,021 Oh, right, right. 246 00:05:39,021 --> 00:05:42,021 Gay? No, I'm not gay. 247 00:05:39,021 --> 00:05:41,021 That black sumbitch that supposed to have had 248 00:05:41,021 --> 00:05:45,021 urinal relations with that underage colored gal. 249 00:05:42,021 --> 00:05:44,021 I mean, I happen to think a man looks nice 250 00:05:44,021 --> 00:05:46,021 with good hair and a ponytail. 251 00:05:45,021 --> 00:05:48,021 Didn't Jerry Lee Lewis marry a 14-year-old baby? 252 00:05:46,021 --> 00:05:48,021 But, no, mm-mm, I'm not gay. 253 00:05:48,021 --> 00:05:51,021 What's your position on gay marriage? 254 00:05:48,021 --> 00:05:51,021 You can't compare a chocolate monkey like R. Kelly 255 00:05:51,021 --> 00:05:52,021 Well, first of all, 256 00:05:51,021 --> 00:05:53,021 to Jerry Lee Lewis! 257 00:05:52,021 --> 00:05:54,021 I believe all marriage is wrong. 258 00:05:53,021 --> 00:05:56,021 Jerry Lee Lewis is the king of rock 'n' roll! 259 00:05:56,021 --> 00:05:58,021 Great balls of fire! 260 00:05:58,021 --> 00:06:00,021 Good one, good. 261 00:05:58,021 --> 00:06:01,021 Besides, that situation was different. 262 00:06:00,021 --> 00:06:02,021 Uh, you don't look like you associate 263 00:06:01,021 --> 00:06:02,021 That was family. 264 00:06:03,021 --> 00:06:05,021 with any Muslims, Arabs, you know. 265 00:06:04,021 --> 00:06:06,021 MAN: We're here 266 00:06:04,021 --> 00:06:06,021 at the R. Kelly trial, 267 00:06:05,021 --> 00:06:07,021 People of terrorist descent? 268 00:06:06,021 --> 00:06:08,021 where there are a handful of angry protesters 269 00:06:09,021 --> 00:06:11,021 Uh, well... 270 00:06:09,021 --> 00:06:10,021 making their voices heard. 271 00:06:10,021 --> 00:06:11,021 These are scholars, activists, 272 00:06:11,021 --> 00:06:12,021 RILEY: We got Kraft, 273 00:06:12,021 --> 00:06:14,021 and we got Velveeta. 274 00:06:12,021 --> 00:06:14,021 pillars of the African-American community, 275 00:06:15,021 --> 00:06:16,021 and they are outraged. 276 00:06:16,021 --> 00:06:18,021 And we're just going to head over here 277 00:06:18,021 --> 00:06:19,021 Your grandson? 278 00:06:18,021 --> 00:06:21,021 to the R. Kelly supporters, 279 00:06:20,021 --> 00:06:22,021 Afraid so. Ahem. 280 00:06:21,021 --> 00:06:22,021 where it's quite the festive event. 281 00:06:22,021 --> 00:06:24,021 And you are? Hey! 282 00:06:23,021 --> 00:06:26,021 You know, I have a grandson too. He's-- 283 00:06:24,021 --> 00:06:26,021 Now, why did you come out here to support R. Kelly? 284 00:06:26,021 --> 00:06:27,021 Is that right? 285 00:06:26,021 --> 00:06:27,021 'Cause he good! 286 00:06:27,021 --> 00:06:28,021 Well, heh-heh-heh, 287 00:06:27,021 --> 00:06:30,021 And what about those protesters over there 288 00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:30,021 this has been delightful. 289 00:06:30,021 --> 00:06:33,021 Well, it's really been a pleasure, Mr., uh-- 290 00:06:30,021 --> 00:06:31,021 who say he's crossed the line? 291 00:06:31,021 --> 00:06:33,021 Mm. 292 00:06:33,021 --> 00:06:34,021 I-Own-Everything. 293 00:06:33,021 --> 00:06:36,021 Man, fuck them literate-ass, uppity niggas. 294 00:06:34,021 --> 00:06:35,021 We should get together soon 295 00:06:35,021 --> 00:06:38,021 and have, uh... more cheese. 296 00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:39,021 All they talk about is readin' and eatin' right. 297 00:06:38,021 --> 00:06:40,021 Like a nice Brie or a G-Gouda-- 298 00:06:39,021 --> 00:06:40,021 Nobody wanna hear all that shit. 299 00:06:40,021 --> 00:06:41,021 G-Gayda-- Gouda. 300 00:06:40,021 --> 00:06:42,021 If I wanna get high blood pressure, then-- 301 00:06:41,021 --> 00:06:44,021 Heh. You know, you're my kind of guy, Freeman. 302 00:06:42,021 --> 00:06:44,021 Nigga, get the carrot away from me! 303 00:06:44,021 --> 00:06:45,021 Old school. 304 00:06:44,021 --> 00:06:46,021 If I wanna get high blood pressure, 305 00:06:46,021 --> 00:06:48,021 then damn it, that's my business! 306 00:06:47,021 --> 00:06:48,021 What are you doin' tomorrow? 307 00:06:48,021 --> 00:06:49,021 We're throwin' a garden party 308 00:06:48,021 --> 00:06:50,021 Let's talk to another R. Kelly supporter. 309 00:06:49,021 --> 00:06:51,021 for my grandson. 310 00:06:50,021 --> 00:06:51,021 Uh, you there, urban youth. 311 00:06:51,021 --> 00:06:53,021 He just got back from Iraq. 312 00:06:52,021 --> 00:06:53,021 Why do you think R. Kelly is innocent? 313 00:06:53,021 --> 00:06:56,021 You should stop by, meet some of the neighbors. 314 00:06:54,021 --> 00:06:56,021 If I started peein' on you right now, 315 00:06:56,021 --> 00:06:58,021 Bring the kids. 316 00:06:56,021 --> 00:06:58,021 would you, A, smile and ask for more, 317 00:06:58,021 --> 00:07:00,021 Sounds like a splendid idea. 318 00:06:58,021 --> 00:07:00,021 or B, move the hell out the way? 319 00:07:00,021 --> 00:07:01,021 I'll see you tomorrow. 320 00:07:00,021 --> 00:07:04,021 But before you answer that, let me ask America: 321 00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:02,021 Uh, thanks for stoppin' by. 322 00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:04,021 Cheers. 323 00:07:04,021 --> 00:07:06,021 Has pee ever really hurt anybody? 324 00:07:06,021 --> 00:07:09,021 And I wanna give a big shout-out to my homey, 325 00:07:07,021 --> 00:07:09,021 Huey! 326 00:07:09,021 --> 00:07:11,021 GRANDDAD: This damn thing looks real. 327 00:07:09,021 --> 00:07:11,021 D-Bone, whassup?! 328 00:07:11,021 --> 00:07:13,021 Can I have my gun back? 329 00:07:11,021 --> 00:07:13,021 Okay, that's enough. 330 00:07:13,021 --> 00:07:14,021 Oof. 331 00:07:14,021 --> 00:07:15,021 Get off me! 332 00:07:15,021 --> 00:07:16,021 Son of a--! 333 00:07:15,021 --> 00:07:16,021 Get off me, Huey! 334 00:07:17,021 --> 00:07:18,021 GRANDDAD: A garden party? 335 00:07:17,021 --> 00:07:18,021 Free R. Kelly! 336 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,021 Yeah, boy. 337 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:20,021 Hey, yo, yo, yo! Look! Free R. Kelly! 338 00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:21,021 I might buy sandals and new underwear. 339 00:07:20,021 --> 00:07:22,021 Those R. Kelly haters are oppressin' that little boy! 340 00:07:21,021 --> 00:07:23,021 Oh, you shot me! 341 00:07:22,021 --> 00:07:24,021 RILEY: Free R. Kelly! 342 00:07:23,021 --> 00:07:26,021 Granddad tried to assassinate me. 343 00:07:24,021 --> 00:07:26,021 Free-- Argh! 344 00:07:26,021 --> 00:07:29,021 Boy, what did I tell ya? This is the new white man. 345 00:07:28,021 --> 00:07:29,021 MAN: Get out of here, y'all. 346 00:07:29,021 --> 00:07:31,021 He's distinguished. 347 00:07:29,021 --> 00:07:31,021 MAN 2: We know what we talkin' about. 348 00:07:31,021 --> 00:07:34,021 Granddad, I do not sip tea with the enemy. 349 00:07:31,021 --> 00:07:34,021 MAN 3: Get 'em! WOMAN: You want a piece of me? 350 00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:36,021 You could force me to go, 351 00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:35,021 Aaaahhh! 352 00:07:36,021 --> 00:07:38,021 but you cannot force me to be someone I'm not. 353 00:07:38,021 --> 00:07:41,021 The hell I can't! 354 00:07:41,021 --> 00:07:43,021 You gonna go and you're not gonna embarrass me 355 00:07:41,021 --> 00:07:43,021 I knew it would be just a matter of time 356 00:07:43,021 --> 00:07:45,021 in front of my new neighbors, or I'm gonna beat your ass. 357 00:07:43,021 --> 00:07:45,021 before violence broke out. 358 00:07:45,021 --> 00:07:48,021 Why can't we be ourselves, huh? Why can't I be me? 359 00:07:45,021 --> 00:07:48,021 It's pandemonium here at the R. Kelly trial. 360 00:07:48,021 --> 00:07:50,021 Are you ashamed of us? Very. 361 00:07:48,021 --> 00:07:50,021 Oh, the humanity! 362 00:07:50,021 --> 00:07:52,021 We never asked to move here 363 00:07:52,021 --> 00:07:54,021 with your precious new white people, Granddad. 364 00:07:54,021 --> 00:07:55,021 Didn't ask? 365 00:07:55,021 --> 00:07:56,021 Well, you didn't ask for us 366 00:07:57,021 --> 00:07:58,021 to be attacked by dogs and fire hoses, 367 00:07:58,021 --> 00:08:00,021 so you can live here, but we did it anyway. 368 00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:02,021 Oh, here he go again with the dogs and the fire hoses. 369 00:08:03,021 --> 00:08:05,021 Shoot, we were attacked by dogs and fire hoses. 370 00:08:05,021 --> 00:08:06,021 Were you attacked? 371 00:08:05,021 --> 00:08:06,021 Mr. Kelly! Mr. Kelly! 372 00:08:07,021 --> 00:08:08,021 Do you have a statement? 373 00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:10,021 I-I don't know what difference that makes. 374 00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,021 This is truly an example 375 00:08:10,021 --> 00:08:12,021 Because it's like the whole generation 376 00:08:10,021 --> 00:08:11,021 of black people stickin' together. 377 00:08:11,021 --> 00:08:13,021 In the words of Sister Souljah, 378 00:08:12,021 --> 00:08:14,021 tries to take credit for what happened to some people. 379 00:08:13,021 --> 00:08:16,021 "An injustice anywhere is an injustice... 380 00:08:14,021 --> 00:08:16,021 That's ridiculous. 381 00:08:16,021 --> 00:08:17,021 anywhere." 382 00:08:17,021 --> 00:08:18,021 Now, see-- Well, you know-- 383 00:08:17,021 --> 00:08:19,021 Amen. 384 00:08:18,021 --> 00:08:20,021 Uh, what had happened was... 385 00:08:22,021 --> 00:08:23,021 MAN: Get out of here. 386 00:08:22,021 --> 00:08:23,021 Go, go, go! 387 00:08:23,021 --> 00:08:26,021 MAN: Come on, get out of here. 388 00:08:24,021 --> 00:08:26,021 What did O.J. Simpson say to Kobe after his case was over? 389 00:08:26,021 --> 00:08:27,021 Aw, man. 390 00:08:26,021 --> 00:08:27,021 What's that? 391 00:08:27,021 --> 00:08:29,021 I missed it. Was it bad? 392 00:08:27,021 --> 00:08:29,021 Don't let this whole trial thing 393 00:08:29,021 --> 00:08:31,021 Did they do the thing with the fire hoses? 394 00:08:29,021 --> 00:08:30,021 turn you off to white women. 395 00:08:31,021 --> 00:08:33,021 What do you think, chump? 396 00:08:32,021 --> 00:08:35,021 That's funny on so many levels. 397 00:08:33,021 --> 00:08:35,021 Damn, what's eatin' you? 398 00:08:35,021 --> 00:08:37,021 A goddamn German shepherd, that's what. 399 00:08:35,021 --> 00:08:39,021 Lord, I just wish they would let me on that jury, boy. 400 00:08:37,021 --> 00:08:38,021 Where was you? 401 00:08:38,021 --> 00:08:40,021 I-I had to go back to the apartment 402 00:08:40,021 --> 00:08:41,021 'cause I forgot my raincoat. 403 00:08:40,021 --> 00:08:42,021 Thank God for the white man's court of law. 404 00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,021 You went to--? You--? 405 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:45,021 This nigga went to get a motherfuckin' raincoat. 406 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:47,021 It's the only way to keep these crazy niggas under control. 407 00:08:45,021 --> 00:08:46,021 I can't believe you. 408 00:08:46,021 --> 00:08:48,021 We all been watchin' the same news. 409 00:08:47,021 --> 00:08:48,021 Well, that and pepper spray. 410 00:08:48,021 --> 00:08:51,021 The police been doin' this fire hose thing all week. 411 00:08:49,021 --> 00:08:51,021 You know, I sat on a jury one time. 412 00:08:51,021 --> 00:08:53,021 I just assumed we'd all wear our raincoat. 413 00:08:51,021 --> 00:08:52,021 Really? 414 00:08:52,021 --> 00:08:54,021 Oh, yeah. 415 00:08:53,021 --> 00:08:54,021 Damn it, Robert. 416 00:08:54,021 --> 00:08:56,021 Who the hell comes to a march with a raincoat? 417 00:08:54,021 --> 00:08:57,021 It was in 1957, back in Tennessee. 418 00:08:56,021 --> 00:08:57,021 Bet you wish you had a coat now. 419 00:08:57,021 --> 00:08:59,021 You son of a bitch! 420 00:08:57,021 --> 00:08:59,021 Now, the defendant was accused 421 00:08:59,021 --> 00:09:02,021 GRANDDAD: Remember what Dr. King said! 422 00:08:59,021 --> 00:09:01,021 of shootin' three little white women 423 00:09:01,021 --> 00:09:05,021 with a Winchester rifle from about 50 yards away. 424 00:09:02,021 --> 00:09:04,021 Who actually got hit with the fire hose ain't important. 425 00:09:04,021 --> 00:09:05,021 Now, we goin' to this party, 426 00:09:05,021 --> 00:09:08,021 and your black asses are gonna behave. 427 00:09:05,021 --> 00:09:07,021 See, now, he thought he was gonna get off 428 00:09:07,021 --> 00:09:10,021 with that old "I'm blind" excuse, 429 00:09:08,021 --> 00:09:12,021 If I'm lucky, I'll find myself a nice white woman 430 00:09:10,021 --> 00:09:13,021 but, oh, boy, he had another thing comin'. 431 00:09:12,021 --> 00:09:15,021 with a flat booty who'll listen to my problems. 432 00:09:13,021 --> 00:09:15,021 JUDGE: The jury will now go off 433 00:09:13,021 --> 00:09:15,021 and deliberate on-- 434 00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:16,021 Guilty! 435 00:09:16,021 --> 00:09:18,021 That nigga is guilty! 436 00:09:20,021 --> 00:09:23,021 Sir, settle down. You have to go deliberate. 437 00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:27,021 I don't need to deliberate. Hang that nigga now! 438 00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:27,021 GRANDDAD: Now, the word for the day 439 00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:27,021 is "behave." 440 00:09:27,021 --> 00:09:28,021 H-E-A-V-E. 441 00:09:27,021 --> 00:09:29,021 I got the rope right here! 442 00:09:28,021 --> 00:09:29,021 Behave. 443 00:09:29,021 --> 00:09:31,021 I'm comin', I'm comin'. 444 00:09:31,021 --> 00:09:33,021 Excuse me. Out of the way, Kunta Kinte! Yes, sir. 445 00:09:32,021 --> 00:09:34,021 King me. 446 00:09:33,021 --> 00:09:35,021 How can I help ya? 447 00:09:35,021 --> 00:09:37,021 GRANDDAD: Excuse me? 448 00:09:36,021 --> 00:09:38,021 TOM: Lady Liberty is on our side. 449 00:09:38,021 --> 00:09:41,021 Justice will prevail. 450 00:09:39,021 --> 00:09:42,021 Oh, Lord have mercy. Security. Security. 451 00:09:41,021 --> 00:09:43,021 The judge and jury will do the right thing. 452 00:09:42,021 --> 00:09:44,021 We got a Code Black. 453 00:09:43,021 --> 00:09:46,021 I'm telling you, Huey, it's an open-and-shut case. 454 00:09:44,021 --> 00:09:46,021 Code Black at the main gate. 455 00:09:46,021 --> 00:09:48,021 : ■ Ruckus, what the hell 456 00:09:46,021 --> 00:09:48,021 Mr. DuBois, are you fully aware 457 00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:49,021 is a Code Black? 458 00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:50,021 the extent to which niggas love R. Kelly? 459 00:09:49,021 --> 00:09:51,021 There are some hungry-lookin' 460 00:09:51,021 --> 00:09:53,021 niggas at the front gate. 461 00:09:52,021 --> 00:09:54,021 Oh, Huey, it's under control. 462 00:09:53,021 --> 00:09:54,021 What y'all doin' here? 463 00:09:54,021 --> 00:09:57,021 Deliveries are in the back. 464 00:09:54,021 --> 00:09:56,021 Watch me work. 465 00:09:57,021 --> 00:09:58,021 Well, my name is Robert Freeman, 466 00:09:58,021 --> 00:10:00,021 I was invited here by Ed Wuncler. 467 00:10:00,021 --> 00:10:04,021 Well, I'm Ruckus. Uncle Ruckus, no relation. 468 00:10:04,021 --> 00:10:06,021 And I work for Mr. Wuncler. 469 00:10:06,021 --> 00:10:07,021 And you slick niggas 470 00:10:06,021 --> 00:10:07,021 And so, ladies and gentlemen, 471 00:10:07,021 --> 00:10:10,021 ain't gonna fast-talk your way into this here party. 472 00:10:07,021 --> 00:10:10,021 not only will we prove it is Mr. Kelly in the video, 473 00:10:10,021 --> 00:10:12,021 Ruckus, what the hell are you doing? 474 00:10:10,021 --> 00:10:14,021 we will prove that the victim was 14 475 00:10:12,021 --> 00:10:13,021 Uh, Mr. Freeman, 476 00:10:13,021 --> 00:10:16,021 I'm sorry. Please, come this way. 477 00:10:14,021 --> 00:10:15,021 at the time the video was shot. 478 00:10:15,021 --> 00:10:17,021 Thank you, Mr. DuBois. 479 00:10:16,021 --> 00:10:17,021 GRANDDAD: See, boys? 480 00:10:17,021 --> 00:10:19,021 And you thought we'd be the only black people. 481 00:10:17,021 --> 00:10:18,021 And now we'll have the opening statement 482 00:10:19,021 --> 00:10:20,021 for the defense. 483 00:10:20,021 --> 00:10:21,021 ATTORNEY: The ancient Greeks, 484 00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:25,021 the architects of Western civilization, 485 00:10:25,021 --> 00:10:28,021 would regularly indulge in sexual activities 486 00:10:28,021 --> 00:10:29,021 with children. 487 00:10:29,021 --> 00:10:32,021 Were they...perverts? 488 00:10:32,021 --> 00:10:34,021 In Puritan America, 489 00:10:34,021 --> 00:10:36,021 the forefathers of this great land 490 00:10:36,021 --> 00:10:40,021 would take wives who were 12 or 13 years old, 491 00:10:40,021 --> 00:10:42,021 much younger than the alleged victim. 492 00:10:43,021 --> 00:10:46,021 Were they...sickos? 493 00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:48,021 In Tokyo, you can buy teenage girls' panties 494 00:10:49,021 --> 00:10:50,021 in vending machines. 495 00:10:50,021 --> 00:10:53,021 Do we call them... 496 00:10:53,021 --> 00:10:55,021 "disgusting"? 497 00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:56,021 Of course not! 498 00:10:56,021 --> 00:10:59,021 What do all those things have to do with Robert Kelly? 499 00:10:59,021 --> 00:11:01,021 Nothing. 500 00:11:01,021 --> 00:11:03,021 Let's get to the point. 501 00:11:03,021 --> 00:11:05,021 Now, some people see this so-called "mountain" 502 00:11:05,021 --> 00:11:07,021 WUNCLER: Robert! 503 00:11:05,021 --> 00:11:07,021 of evidence, 504 00:11:07,021 --> 00:11:11,021 these "videotapes," "photographs," 505 00:11:09,021 --> 00:11:12,021 Glad you made it, Robert. This is my grandson, Ed III. 506 00:11:11,021 --> 00:11:15,021 "eyewitnesses" and "DNA," 507 00:11:12,021 --> 00:11:13,021 How are you? 508 00:11:13,021 --> 00:11:14,021 Whassup y'all, what's good? 509 00:11:15,021 --> 00:11:17,021 and see a guilty man. 510 00:11:16,021 --> 00:11:19,021 Uh...so I understand you just got back from Iraq. 511 00:11:17,021 --> 00:11:21,021 But some of us can see that "mountain" 512 00:11:19,021 --> 00:11:20,021 For real? 513 00:11:20,021 --> 00:11:21,021 Yo, what's it like? 514 00:11:21,021 --> 00:11:23,021 What's it like? 515 00:11:21,021 --> 00:11:24,021 of so-called "evidence" 516 00:11:23,021 --> 00:11:25,021 What I supposed to say to that? 517 00:11:24,021 --> 00:11:26,021 for what it really is: 518 00:11:25,021 --> 00:11:28,021 It was cool, there was bitches? 519 00:11:26,021 --> 00:11:28,021 racism. 520 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,021 Okay, there was bitches, but a lot of them had, 521 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,021 MAN: Oh, he said it right there. 522 00:11:30,021 --> 00:11:31,021 you know, they was covered up 523 00:11:31,021 --> 00:11:33,021 in them curtains and stuff they be wearin'. 524 00:11:33,021 --> 00:11:35,021 But I digress. 525 00:11:35,021 --> 00:11:37,021 It was war! 526 00:11:35,021 --> 00:11:36,021 Which one was the one that got caught 527 00:11:36,021 --> 00:11:38,021 with that homely, little white gal? 528 00:11:37,021 --> 00:11:39,021 It was war, basically. 529 00:11:38,021 --> 00:11:39,021 Kobe. 530 00:11:39,021 --> 00:11:40,021 War, you know what that's like? 531 00:11:39,021 --> 00:11:40,021 Right. 532 00:11:40,021 --> 00:11:42,021 Motherfuckers be, like, shootin': 533 00:11:40,021 --> 00:11:42,021 Now, I know exactly what happened to Kobe. 534 00:11:42,021 --> 00:11:44,021 Kobe caught that white fever. 535 00:11:44,021 --> 00:11:46,021 Bombs blowin' up. 536 00:11:44,021 --> 00:11:46,021 White fever will get in your blood, man. 537 00:11:46,021 --> 00:11:47,021 And, you know, the shit scared me. 538 00:11:46,021 --> 00:11:48,021 It'll make you crazy. 539 00:11:47,021 --> 00:11:48,021 It scared the shit out of me. 540 00:11:48,021 --> 00:11:51,021 Matter of fact, I shit on myself over a dozen times 541 00:11:48,021 --> 00:11:50,021 And you know they got them short, little skirts nowadays 542 00:11:50,021 --> 00:11:52,021 and that, uh-- What--? What they call them? 543 00:11:51,021 --> 00:11:54,021 and ran out of toilet paper after the second time. 544 00:11:53,021 --> 00:11:54,021 The--? The--? The tongs? 545 00:11:54,021 --> 00:11:58,021 So you know what that meant, right? 546 00:11:54,021 --> 00:11:55,021 Thongs. 547 00:11:55,021 --> 00:11:56,021 Yeah, right. 548 00:11:56,021 --> 00:11:58,021 They got the thongs all up the booty crack, 549 00:11:58,021 --> 00:12:00,021 I had to use the thumb, man. It was kind of nasty. 550 00:11:59,021 --> 00:12:00,021 and they got that sweet white nectar. 551 00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,021 But, you know, the good thing about it 552 00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:03,021 Oh, Lord, have mercy. 553 00:12:02,021 --> 00:12:04,021 was they stopped taking me out on patrol. 554 00:12:03,021 --> 00:12:04,021 And after that, it's over. 555 00:12:04,021 --> 00:12:06,021 'Cause my name became "Stink Bomb." 556 00:12:05,021 --> 00:12:07,021 You wake up, and you don't even know what you darn done. 557 00:12:06,021 --> 00:12:07,021 You know what I'm sayin'? 558 00:12:07,021 --> 00:12:09,021 They said, you know, I was giving away our position 559 00:12:08,021 --> 00:12:10,021 Just a pool of sweat around your ankles 560 00:12:09,021 --> 00:12:10,021 because of the shit smell. 561 00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:12,021 That was fine with me, you know what I'm sayin'. 562 00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:13,021 and a deep sense of satisfaction. 563 00:12:12,021 --> 00:12:14,021 They-- They wanted to leave me back. 564 00:12:13,021 --> 00:12:14,021 Gimme a minute, Robert. 565 00:12:14,021 --> 00:12:16,021 And I was like: "Well, fuck y'all. 566 00:12:15,021 --> 00:12:17,021 You look like you need to take five. 567 00:12:16,021 --> 00:12:18,021 "Y'all go ahead on 'cause I don't need y'all anyway. 568 00:12:18,021 --> 00:12:20,021 I'm rich, bitch." 569 00:12:19,021 --> 00:12:21,021 Mm-hm. Yeah, sure. 570 00:12:21,021 --> 00:12:22,021 Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, 571 00:12:22,021 --> 00:12:26,021 I present to you the R. Kelly tape. 572 00:12:24,021 --> 00:12:26,021 The fuck y'all looking at? 573 00:12:26,021 --> 00:12:28,021 Hey, li'l man. 574 00:12:27,021 --> 00:12:31,021 I warn you, it is graphic. 575 00:12:29,021 --> 00:12:30,021 Like guns? 576 00:12:31,021 --> 00:12:32,021 Yeah! 577 00:12:31,021 --> 00:12:32,021 RILEY: Yeah! 578 00:12:32,021 --> 00:12:34,021 C'mon. 579 00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:36,021 Come on, let's get that drink. 580 00:12:42,021 --> 00:12:43,021 MAN: Oh. Oh, my... WOMAN: Oh, my... 581 00:12:43,021 --> 00:12:45,021 MAN: Well, you should definitely see 582 00:12:43,021 --> 00:12:45,021 The Passion. 583 00:12:46,021 --> 00:12:47,021 It's a very important movie. 584 00:12:46,021 --> 00:12:49,021 MAN 2: No, he didn't. 585 00:12:47,021 --> 00:12:49,021 Couldn't see it. White Jesus. 586 00:12:49,021 --> 00:12:51,021 Excuse me? 587 00:12:49,021 --> 00:12:51,021 Objection! We can't even see his face clearly. 588 00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:52,021 Come on, man. 589 00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:55,021 It's supposed to be all historically accurate, 590 00:12:53,021 --> 00:12:55,021 MAN 2: Man, he got freckles 591 00:12:53,021 --> 00:12:55,021 and everything. 592 00:12:55,021 --> 00:12:56,021 and they still have a white man 593 00:12:55,021 --> 00:12:58,021 That proves nothing! 594 00:12:56,021 --> 00:12:58,021 playin' Jesus? 595 00:12:58,021 --> 00:13:00,021 That's some old bullshit. 596 00:13:00,021 --> 00:13:03,021 Young man, you speak so well. 597 00:13:01,021 --> 00:13:03,021 Hello? Yes, this is Robert Kelly. 598 00:13:03,021 --> 00:13:04,021 Yes, the singer. 599 00:13:04,021 --> 00:13:06,021 You want my Social Security number? 600 00:13:06,021 --> 00:13:10,021 Sure, it's 916-34-7865. 601 00:13:07,021 --> 00:13:08,021 RUCKUS: Well, 602 00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:10,021 la-di-da-di-do. 603 00:13:10,021 --> 00:13:13,021 Look like we got us the winner 604 00:13:10,021 --> 00:13:13,021 Okay. God bless. 605 00:13:13,021 --> 00:13:16,021 of the Lucky-Nigga-of-the-Year award. 606 00:13:13,021 --> 00:13:15,021 Well, um... 607 00:13:17,021 --> 00:13:18,021 Ah. 608 00:13:18,021 --> 00:13:19,021 Now, young lady, 609 00:13:19,021 --> 00:13:22,021 They must think the sun shine out your ass. 610 00:13:19,021 --> 00:13:21,021 I know this might be hard to talk about. 611 00:13:21,021 --> 00:13:23,021 No, it's cool. 612 00:13:22,021 --> 00:13:25,021 Mr. Wuncler's been very nice, yes. 613 00:13:23,021 --> 00:13:27,021 How old were you when you were seeing Mr. Kelly? 614 00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:28,021 They must think you Sidney fucking Poitier. 615 00:13:27,021 --> 00:13:28,021 Mm, 14 and a quarter. 616 00:13:28,021 --> 00:13:29,021 Well, 617 00:13:28,021 --> 00:13:31,021 Wow. That's a great age, isn't it? 618 00:13:29,021 --> 00:13:32,021 I been workin' for Mr. Wuncler for 20 years. 619 00:13:31,021 --> 00:13:34,021 Still learning so much about the world. 620 00:13:32,021 --> 00:13:34,021 I ain't never got invited to the party. 621 00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:38,021 Shoot, he don't even let me use the front door. 622 00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:36,021 Whatever. I guess. 623 00:13:36,021 --> 00:13:39,021 Could you describe the events leading up 624 00:13:38,021 --> 00:13:39,021 But you wouldn't know about that, 625 00:13:39,021 --> 00:13:43,021 now, would ya, Mr. Tibbs? 626 00:13:39,021 --> 00:13:40,021 to the shooting of the video? 627 00:13:40,021 --> 00:13:42,021 Yeah. He asked if he could pee on me, 628 00:13:42,021 --> 00:13:43,021 and I said, "Fo' sho'." 629 00:13:43,021 --> 00:13:44,021 Oh, yeah. 630 00:13:43,021 --> 00:13:46,021 I mean, it's R. Kelly, the Pied Piper of R & B. 631 00:13:44,021 --> 00:13:47,021 They must think your shit smell 632 00:13:47,021 --> 00:13:50,021 like spring daisies and cinnamon. 633 00:13:47,021 --> 00:13:50,021 I been peed on by guys that don't even have record deals. 634 00:13:50,021 --> 00:13:52,021 Shit, if I didn't want to get peed on, 635 00:13:52,021 --> 00:13:53,021 Check this out. 636 00:13:52,021 --> 00:13:53,021 I'd just move out the way. 637 00:13:53,021 --> 00:13:54,021 Wow. 638 00:13:53,021 --> 00:13:55,021 RILEY: Ha! I told you! 639 00:13:54,021 --> 00:13:57,021 Are those real? 640 00:13:55,021 --> 00:13:56,021 Order! 641 00:13:56,021 --> 00:13:58,021 Would you describe yourself 642 00:13:57,021 --> 00:13:59,021 Real? 643 00:13:58,021 --> 00:14:01,021 as an African-American woman? 644 00:13:59,021 --> 00:14:01,021 Put it this way: 645 00:14:01,021 --> 00:14:04,021 if I pick one up and put it to your face, 646 00:14:01,021 --> 00:14:03,021 Nigga, you blind? 647 00:14:04,021 --> 00:14:06,021 pull the trigger, will you be dead? 648 00:14:05,021 --> 00:14:06,021 No, I'm not. 649 00:14:06,021 --> 00:14:09,021 So it's safe to say that R. Kelly is... 650 00:14:09,021 --> 00:14:13,021 sexually attracted to black women, right? 651 00:14:13,021 --> 00:14:14,021 HUEY: And all I'm saying is, 652 00:14:13,021 --> 00:14:14,021 Mm-hm. 653 00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:16,021 Ronald Reagan was the devil. 654 00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:16,021 Objection, relevance! 655 00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:20,021 You are such an articulate young man. 656 00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:19,021 Your Honor, I'm trying to establish to the court 657 00:14:19,021 --> 00:14:22,021 that my client is a proud black man 658 00:14:20,021 --> 00:14:22,021 I'm tryin' to explain to you 659 00:14:22,021 --> 00:14:24,021 that Ronald Reagan was the devil. 660 00:14:23,021 --> 00:14:26,021 who loves his black sistas, 661 00:14:24,021 --> 00:14:26,021 Ronald Wilson Reagan. 662 00:14:26,021 --> 00:14:28,021 Each of his names has six letters. 663 00:14:26,021 --> 00:14:28,021 unlike District Attorney DuBois, 664 00:14:28,021 --> 00:14:30,021 Six-six-six. 665 00:14:29,021 --> 00:14:30,021 who's married... 666 00:14:30,021 --> 00:14:31,021 Man, doesn't that offend you? 667 00:14:30,021 --> 00:14:32,021 to a white woman! 668 00:14:31,021 --> 00:14:34,021 I love this kid. 669 00:14:34,021 --> 00:14:36,021 Stop that. What are you doin'? 670 00:14:36,021 --> 00:14:37,021 Stop clappin'. 671 00:14:36,021 --> 00:14:37,021 Damn. 672 00:14:38,021 --> 00:14:40,021 Tsk, tsk, tsk. 673 00:14:39,021 --> 00:14:41,021 Having a good time, Robert? 674 00:14:41,021 --> 00:14:42,021 I-It's, uh... 675 00:14:43,021 --> 00:14:45,021 Come on, have a drink with me. 676 00:14:44,021 --> 00:14:46,021 Now, I've listened to your black ass 677 00:14:45,021 --> 00:14:47,021 You look nervous. 678 00:14:46,021 --> 00:14:48,021 talk all day about how much you can't stand black folks. 679 00:14:47,021 --> 00:14:51,021 Do I make you nervous, Free-man? 680 00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:50,021 Ain't two of 'em in the history of the world 681 00:14:50,021 --> 00:14:51,021 that's worth a squirrel fart. 682 00:14:51,021 --> 00:14:53,021 Nervous? No. 683 00:14:52,021 --> 00:14:53,021 Well, how much you love white folks? 684 00:14:53,021 --> 00:14:57,021 I was just, uh, keepin' an eye out for the boys. 685 00:14:53,021 --> 00:14:57,021 Best thing the good Lord ever did for the planet Earth. 686 00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:59,021 This is a lovely party. 687 00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:59,021 Ruckus, you black as the ace of spades, man. 688 00:14:59,021 --> 00:15:02,021 The only joy I get from these parties 689 00:15:00,021 --> 00:15:02,021 I don't see the need for you to go and insult a man 690 00:15:02,021 --> 00:15:04,021 is standing around, telling mean-spirited jokes 691 00:15:02,021 --> 00:15:03,021 after a game of Checkers. 692 00:15:03,021 --> 00:15:07,021 We been reminiscin' all day, lookin' in each other's eyes, 693 00:15:04,021 --> 00:15:07,021 at other people's expense. 694 00:15:07,021 --> 00:15:08,021 I do that too. 695 00:15:07,021 --> 00:15:08,021 actin' like we like each other. 696 00:15:08,021 --> 00:15:10,021 Check out that guy. 697 00:15:08,021 --> 00:15:11,021 Now, you gotta go ahead and remind me of my ailment. 698 00:15:10,021 --> 00:15:14,021 Why is his face all twisted up like that? 699 00:15:11,021 --> 00:15:13,021 Ailment? That's right. 700 00:15:13,021 --> 00:15:14,021 You heard of vitiligo? 701 00:15:14,021 --> 00:15:17,021 Looks like he jacks off with Icy Hot. 702 00:15:15,021 --> 00:15:18,021 Shoot! Well, I got re-vitiligo. 703 00:15:18,021 --> 00:15:22,021 Every year my skin just seem to get blacker and darker 704 00:15:20,021 --> 00:15:23,021 He looks like he just shit a gerbil. 705 00:15:22,021 --> 00:15:25,021 and blacker and then more darker. Huh. 706 00:15:25,021 --> 00:15:28,021 It's the opposite of what Michael Jackson got. 707 00:15:27,021 --> 00:15:28,021 A gerbil. 708 00:15:28,021 --> 00:15:29,021 Lucky bastard. 709 00:15:29,021 --> 00:15:32,021 Sorry, I'll be right back. 710 00:15:29,021 --> 00:15:34,021 Ruckus, how could you possibly love white people so much? 711 00:15:34,021 --> 00:15:36,021 HUEY: Tell me this, 712 00:15:34,021 --> 00:15:36,021 It's easy. Have you ever looked at 'em? 713 00:15:36,021 --> 00:15:37,021 why was all the video recordin' 714 00:15:36,021 --> 00:15:39,021 White man is just a joy to be around. 715 00:15:37,021 --> 00:15:40,021 of the Pentagon attack seized by the FBI 716 00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:43,021 They smell like lemon juice and Pledge furniture cleaner. 717 00:15:40,021 --> 00:15:41,021 and never seen again? 718 00:15:41,021 --> 00:15:43,021 He speaks so well. 719 00:15:43,021 --> 00:15:45,021 He's adorable. 720 00:15:43,021 --> 00:15:47,021 And look at 'em. They gave us discipline, jobs, 721 00:15:45,021 --> 00:15:46,021 Are you even listenin' 722 00:15:46,021 --> 00:15:48,021 to what I'm sayin'? 723 00:15:47,021 --> 00:15:50,021 put structure in our life, took us out the jungle. 724 00:15:48,021 --> 00:15:49,021 Nigga, if you ruin this party for me, 725 00:15:50,021 --> 00:15:52,021 I'll put my-- Ruin the party? They love me. 726 00:15:50,021 --> 00:15:52,021 And what we do to show our appreciation? 727 00:15:52,021 --> 00:15:54,021 These people aren't worried about us. 728 00:15:52,021 --> 00:15:54,021 We march up and down the street. 729 00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:57,021 They're not worried about anything. They're rich. 730 00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:57,021 We vote. Carry on. 731 00:15:57,021 --> 00:15:58,021 No matter what happens, 732 00:15:57,021 --> 00:15:58,021 Ingrates. 733 00:15:58,021 --> 00:16:00,021 these people will just keep applaudin'. 734 00:15:58,021 --> 00:16:00,021 Well, how about this? 735 00:16:00,021 --> 00:16:02,021 Game. 736 00:16:05,021 --> 00:16:06,021 : Ahem. Attention please. 737 00:16:06,021 --> 00:16:11,021 My name is Uncle Ruckus, no relation. 738 00:16:08,021 --> 00:16:09,021 Nigga. 739 00:16:09,021 --> 00:16:11,021 ATTORNEY: I'm going to show you 740 00:16:11,021 --> 00:16:15,021 I want to sing y'all a brand new song I just wrote called: 741 00:16:11,021 --> 00:16:14,021 something they don't want you to see. 742 00:16:14,021 --> 00:16:18,021 Something that will blow this case wide open. 743 00:16:15,021 --> 00:16:18,021 "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There." 744 00:16:18,021 --> 00:16:21,021 Sing along if you know the words. 745 00:16:18,021 --> 00:16:24,021 This is R. Kelly's NAACP Image Award Certificate of Nomination. 746 00:16:25,021 --> 00:16:26,021 Hey, man, 747 00:16:26,021 --> 00:16:30,021 Over there 748 00:16:26,021 --> 00:16:28,021 you got his card? 749 00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:29,021 He's good. 750 00:16:30,021 --> 00:16:34,021 In the air 751 00:16:30,021 --> 00:16:32,021 Did you wash your hands? 752 00:16:32,021 --> 00:16:34,021 You think they nominate just anyone 753 00:16:34,021 --> 00:16:37,021 Nappy-head niggas 754 00:16:34,021 --> 00:16:36,021 for this award? MAN: I got one! 755 00:16:36,021 --> 00:16:39,021 You know why he wants to put R. Kelly in jail? 756 00:16:39,021 --> 00:16:41,021 MAN: Why? Because he's 757 00:16:39,021 --> 00:16:41,021 afraid of R. Kelly. 758 00:16:40,021 --> 00:16:44,021 Over there 759 00:16:41,021 --> 00:16:43,021 MAN: Oh. Objection! 760 00:16:43,021 --> 00:16:44,021 Shhh! Would you be quiet? 761 00:16:44,021 --> 00:16:48,021 Are you sure that vest'll stop this shotgun? 762 00:16:44,021 --> 00:16:46,021 MAN: Shush. I think he's afraid. 763 00:16:46,021 --> 00:16:48,021 I think the whole system is afraid of R. Kelly. 764 00:16:48,021 --> 00:16:52,021 Man, I'm like the Terminator in this vest. 765 00:16:48,021 --> 00:16:49,021 Your Honor, please! 766 00:16:49,021 --> 00:16:51,021 If you don't shut up-- 767 00:16:51,021 --> 00:16:54,021 They're afraid because they see the power for good 768 00:16:53,021 --> 00:16:56,021 RUCKUS: 769 00:16:54,021 --> 00:16:57,021 that this man wields through his music. 770 00:16:57,021 --> 00:16:59,021 What? You don't believe me? 771 00:16:57,021 --> 00:16:59,021 Yes, they do. MAN: Mm-hm. 772 00:16:59,021 --> 00:17:01,021 Go ahead! 773 00:16:59,021 --> 00:17:01,021 They don't want R. Kelly to be free 774 00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:02,021 Pull the trigger. 775 00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:04,021 because they don't want you to be free! 776 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,021 Now, are you sure that--? 777 00:17:04,021 --> 00:17:07,021 They don't want me to be free! 778 00:17:05,021 --> 00:17:06,021 I said pull that trigger now! 779 00:17:06,021 --> 00:17:08,021 You wanna play rough? 780 00:17:07,021 --> 00:17:10,021 Maybe R. Kelly did urinate on this woman. 781 00:17:08,021 --> 00:17:09,021 Okay. 782 00:17:09,021 --> 00:17:14,021 Over yonder 783 00:17:10,021 --> 00:17:15,021 But America urinated on R. Kelly! 784 00:17:14,021 --> 00:17:18,021 It'll make you wonder 785 00:17:15,021 --> 00:17:16,021 MAN: Oh! 786 00:17:21,021 --> 00:17:24,021 Nigga-figures 787 00:17:21,021 --> 00:17:22,021 MAN: Tell 'em! MAN 2: He got framed! 788 00:17:22,021 --> 00:17:25,021 And if you let them put this man in jail, 789 00:17:25,021 --> 00:17:31,021 America will urinate on each and every one of you! 790 00:17:31,021 --> 00:17:33,021 Assalamu'alaikum. 791 00:17:33,021 --> 00:17:34,021 ALL: Wa alaikum assalam. 792 00:17:34,021 --> 00:17:37,021 I think the N-word is okay, as long as they say it. 793 00:17:34,021 --> 00:17:35,021 MAN 2: Brother. 794 00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:39,021 Please, people. You saw the tape. 795 00:17:39,021 --> 00:17:41,021 See? 796 00:17:39,021 --> 00:17:41,021 The girl testified she was underage. 797 00:17:41,021 --> 00:17:46,021 You-- You're not allowed to do that to a little girl! 798 00:17:42,021 --> 00:17:44,021 Say hello to my little friend. 799 00:17:46,021 --> 00:17:49,021 We have a videotape! 800 00:17:49,021 --> 00:17:51,021 Go tell that to your white bitch. 801 00:17:51,021 --> 00:17:53,021 Mmm-hmm. 802 00:17:53,021 --> 00:17:56,021 But the girl was... 803 00:17:57,021 --> 00:17:58,021 Fuck y'all lookin' at? 804 00:17:57,021 --> 00:17:59,021 Prosecution rests. 805 00:18:01,021 --> 00:18:03,021 Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, 806 00:18:03,021 --> 00:18:05,021 all that needs to be said is this: 807 00:18:08,021 --> 00:18:09,021 MAN: Aw, yeah! 808 00:18:17,021 --> 00:18:19,021 Hey, you think we in trouble? 809 00:18:19,021 --> 00:18:21,021 You shot his grandson out the window. 810 00:18:20,021 --> 00:18:23,021 We're meant to be together 811 00:18:21,021 --> 00:18:22,021 What you think? 812 00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:26,021 I don't know. 813 00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:27,021 I didn't want to move here, 814 00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:29,021 Let it go 815 00:18:27,021 --> 00:18:30,021 but I don't really want Granddad to lose his house. 816 00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:32,021 He worked his whole life to get here. 817 00:18:31,021 --> 00:18:33,021 MAN: Hey! 818 00:18:32,021 --> 00:18:36,021 Man, I like that house. 819 00:18:36,021 --> 00:18:39,021 Oh, well, I shot a nigga! 820 00:18:37,021 --> 00:18:40,021 What the hell is wrong with you people? 821 00:18:40,021 --> 00:18:44,021 Every famous nigga that gets arrested is not Nelson Mandela! 822 00:18:43,021 --> 00:18:45,021 Mr. Wuncler, 823 00:18:44,021 --> 00:18:45,021 Yes, the government conspires 824 00:18:45,021 --> 00:18:49,021 I'm...sorry about the whole, you know, 825 00:18:45,021 --> 00:18:47,021 to put a lot of innocent black men in jail 826 00:18:47,021 --> 00:18:49,021 on fallacious charges, 827 00:18:49,021 --> 00:18:51,021 my grandson shooting your grandson 828 00:18:49,021 --> 00:18:52,021 but R. Kelly is not one of those men! 829 00:18:51,021 --> 00:18:53,021 out of the window thing. 830 00:18:52,021 --> 00:18:55,021 We all know the nigga can sing, but what happened to standards? 831 00:18:53,021 --> 00:18:55,021 Are you mad? 832 00:18:55,021 --> 00:18:57,021 In 30 years, 833 00:18:55,021 --> 00:18:58,021 What happened to bare minimums? 834 00:18:57,021 --> 00:19:01,021 that boy will be the president of the United States. 835 00:18:58,021 --> 00:18:59,021 You a fan of R. Kelly? 836 00:18:59,021 --> 00:19:01,021 You wanna help R. Kelly? 837 00:19:01,021 --> 00:19:04,021 And he'll still be a fucking idiot. 838 00:19:01,021 --> 00:19:03,021 Then get some counseling for R. Kelly! 839 00:19:03,021 --> 00:19:06,021 Introduce him to some older women. 840 00:19:04,021 --> 00:19:06,021 Whew. 841 00:19:06,021 --> 00:19:08,021 Now, are we gonna have that drink or what? 842 00:19:06,021 --> 00:19:07,021 Hide his camcorder. 843 00:19:08,021 --> 00:19:10,021 But don't pretend like the man is a hero! 844 00:19:10,021 --> 00:19:12,021 Glad you were able to make it, Robert. 845 00:19:12,021 --> 00:19:14,021 To the old school. 846 00:19:13,021 --> 00:19:14,021 And stop the damn dancin'! 847 00:19:14,021 --> 00:19:16,021 To the old school. 848 00:19:14,021 --> 00:19:17,021 Act like you got some goddamn sense, people! 849 00:19:17,021 --> 00:19:18,021 Damn! 850 00:19:18,021 --> 00:19:20,021 Through playin' around here! 851 00:19:22,021 --> 00:19:24,021 RILEY: Boooooo! 852 00:19:24,021 --> 00:19:26,021 Hey, you with the Afro! 853 00:19:26,021 --> 00:19:28,021 Give it a rest! Beat it! 854 00:19:29,021 --> 00:19:31,021 Put the music back on! 855 00:19:41,021 --> 00:19:44,021 HUEY: I did battle 856 00:19:41,021 --> 00:19:44,021 with ignorance today, 857 00:19:44,021 --> 00:19:45,021 and ignorance won. 858 00:19:47,021 --> 00:19:49,021 I admit that I'm often... 859 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:52,021 vexed at the behavior of my own people. 860 00:19:52,021 --> 00:19:55,021 Yeah, "vexed" is a good word. 861 00:19:57,021 --> 00:20:00,021 I told you about messin' with them white women. 862 00:20:02,021 --> 00:20:05,021 HUEY: You do what you can 863 00:20:02,021 --> 00:20:05,021 to help black folks, 864 00:20:05,021 --> 00:20:07,021 and they make you wonder why you even bother. 865 00:20:10,021 --> 00:20:12,021 But they're our people, 866 00:20:12,021 --> 00:20:14,021 and we gotta love 'em regardless. 867 00:20:33,021 --> 00:20:35,021 WOMAN: Break it down! 868 00:20:35,021 --> 00:20:37,021 HUEY: One thing for sure, though. 869 00:20:37,021 --> 00:20:40,021 Can't blame this one on the white man. 870 00:20:40,021 --> 00:20:41,021 What am I saying? 871 00:20:41,021 --> 00:20:44,021 Of course I can.