1 00:00:02,021 --> 00:00:03,021 : I am not a prophet. 2 00:00:03,021 --> 00:00:06,021 But sometimes I have prophetic dreams. 3 00:00:06,021 --> 00:00:09,021 Like the one where I was at a garden party. 4 00:00:16,021 --> 00:00:18,021 Excuse me. 5 00:00:18,021 --> 00:00:21,021 Everyone, I have a brief announcement to make. 6 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:24,021 Jesus was black, Ronald Reagan was the devil, 7 00:00:24,021 --> 00:00:27,021 and the government is lyin' about 9/11. 8 00:00:27,021 --> 00:00:30,021 Thank you for your time and good night. 9 00:00:31,021 --> 00:00:33,021 No! 10 00:00:33,021 --> 00:00:35,021 That can't be true! 11 00:00:33,021 --> 00:00:35,021 : My grandfather, 12 00:00:35,021 --> 00:00:37,021 : Here's something 13 00:00:35,021 --> 00:00:37,021 black people have known 14 00:00:35,021 --> 00:00:36,021 Robert Jebediah Freeman, 15 00:00:36,021 --> 00:00:40,021 after a lifetime of odd adventures and strange mishaps, 16 00:00:37,021 --> 00:00:38,021 for a couple of hundred years: 17 00:00:38,021 --> 00:00:40,021 Niggas are crazy. 18 00:00:40,021 --> 00:00:43,021 Black people don't like to talk about crazy niggas in public 19 00:00:40,021 --> 00:00:42,021 decided to spend his last days 20 00:00:42,021 --> 00:00:43,021 Unhand me! 21 00:00:42,021 --> 00:00:44,021 in the warm embrace of suburbia. 22 00:00:43,021 --> 00:00:45,021 'cause white people may be listening. 23 00:00:44,021 --> 00:00:45,021 Hi-ya! 24 00:00:44,021 --> 00:00:46,021 So he moved to his perfect house 25 00:00:45,021 --> 00:00:46,021 But I'm afraid the secret might be out. 26 00:00:46,021 --> 00:00:48,021 in his perfect neighborhood. 27 00:00:47,021 --> 00:00:48,021 MAN: He's on fire! 28 00:00:47,021 --> 00:00:49,021 : Former singer Whitney Houston 29 00:00:47,021 --> 00:00:49,021 appeared in court 30 00:00:48,021 --> 00:00:49,021 Somebody get some water. 31 00:00:48,021 --> 00:00:51,021 But he was still searching for his perfect woman. 32 00:00:49,021 --> 00:00:51,021 alongside husband Bobby Brown, 33 00:00:51,021 --> 00:00:52,021 Ow! 34 00:00:51,021 --> 00:00:53,021 who's facing battery charges 35 00:00:51,021 --> 00:00:55,021 For what reason, I have no idea. 36 00:00:52,021 --> 00:00:54,021 Mm-hm. You havin' that dream where you made 37 00:00:53,021 --> 00:00:55,021 for allegedly beating his once-respectable wife. 38 00:00:54,021 --> 00:00:55,021 the white people riot, weren't ya? 39 00:00:55,021 --> 00:00:57,021 But I was tellin' the truth! 40 00:00:55,021 --> 00:00:57,021 Hell to nah! Bobby don't hit me. 41 00:00:57,021 --> 00:01:00,021 How many times have I told you, you better not even dream 42 00:00:57,021 --> 00:01:00,021 See, we have this TV show, a-and it's-- It's our TV show. 43 00:00:57,021 --> 00:01:00,021 BOY: I want candy! 44 00:01:00,021 --> 00:01:01,021 about tellin' white folk the truth? 45 00:01:00,021 --> 00:01:01,021 And I was tryin' to get more time on it. 46 00:01:00,021 --> 00:01:01,021 Damn it, I hate you! 47 00:01:01,021 --> 00:01:02,021 You understand me? 48 00:01:01,021 --> 00:01:03,021 It's my show, bitch! 49 00:01:02,021 --> 00:01:04,021 Shoot. 50 00:01:02,021 --> 00:01:04,021 You're ruining my life, bitch! WOMAN: Please, Herbert, 51 00:01:04,021 --> 00:01:06,021 Makin' white people riot. 52 00:01:04,021 --> 00:01:06,021 remember our agreement. Candy! I want candy! 53 00:01:05,021 --> 00:01:08,021 You know, I think they're on drugs. 54 00:01:06,021 --> 00:01:08,021 You better learn how to lie like me. 55 00:01:06,021 --> 00:01:08,021 Give me candy! 56 00:01:08,021 --> 00:01:11,021 I'm gonna find me a white man and lie to him right now. 57 00:01:08,021 --> 00:01:10,021 Let's see what's on BET. 58 00:01:08,021 --> 00:01:12,021 Give me candy! I want candy! 59 00:01:10,021 --> 00:01:12,021 Oh, Lordy-Lord. Oh, shake it to the right. 60 00:01:12,021 --> 00:01:14,021 Mm. Shake it, shake it, shake. 61 00:01:12,021 --> 00:01:15,021 I want candy and marshmallows! 62 00:01:14,021 --> 00:01:16,021 You boys cover your eyes. Shake, shake, shake. 63 00:01:15,021 --> 00:01:16,021 Give it to me! 64 00:01:17,021 --> 00:01:20,021 Got to leave something to the imagination. 65 00:01:17,021 --> 00:01:18,021 Give it to me! Herbert-- Oh! 66 00:01:18,021 --> 00:01:19,021 And I want pasta! 67 00:01:19,021 --> 00:01:22,021 Hm, he sure looks like a handful. 68 00:01:20,021 --> 00:01:22,021 That's just showin' too much booty. Turn it. 69 00:01:22,021 --> 00:01:24,021 And on our "Talking Points" this evening, 70 00:01:22,021 --> 00:01:23,021 When he gets like this, 71 00:01:23,021 --> 00:01:25,021 I just don't know how to make him stop. 72 00:01:24,021 --> 00:01:26,021 it seems like the hip-hop community 73 00:01:25,021 --> 00:01:27,021 I want candy and marshmallows! 74 00:01:26,021 --> 00:01:28,021 is trading in their gold chains 75 00:01:27,021 --> 00:01:29,021 Have you ever tried beatin' his ass? 76 00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:30,021 for gold showers. 77 00:01:30,021 --> 00:01:33,021 Hip-hop singer R. Kelly is on trial again this week 78 00:01:32,021 --> 00:01:33,021 HERBERT: What's with the belt? 79 00:01:33,021 --> 00:01:35,021 for sharing some of his liquid bling 80 00:01:36,021 --> 00:01:38,021 with yet another underage girl. 81 00:01:38,021 --> 00:01:39,021 Some advice for Mr. Kelly: 82 00:01:39,021 --> 00:01:42,021 Next time, use a golden shower curtain 83 00:01:40,021 --> 00:01:43,021 : The nerve of you... 84 00:01:42,021 --> 00:01:44,021 and keep your golden showers to yourself. 85 00:01:43,021 --> 00:01:44,021 In front of these people... 86 00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:46,021 What's wrong with a man giving away a golden shower? 87 00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:46,021 You must have lost your goddamn mind! 88 00:01:46,021 --> 00:01:48,021 Sounds like a nice gift to me. 89 00:01:46,021 --> 00:01:49,021 HERBERT: Mom, stop! 90 00:01:49,021 --> 00:01:51,021 Not many men would stop to help a woman in need. 91 00:01:50,021 --> 00:01:52,021 What? Shoot, I wish somebody gave me a golden shower. 92 00:01:54,021 --> 00:01:56,021 One, I like gold. Two, I like showers. 93 00:01:56,021 --> 00:01:58,021 Well, uh-- 94 00:01:58,021 --> 00:02:00,021 Put it together, hey, that sound like the life. 95 00:01:58,021 --> 00:02:01,021 I guess I just hate to see a child go unbeaten. 96 00:02:00,021 --> 00:02:01,021 Hoo! 97 00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:03,021 If you're good, 98 00:02:02,021 --> 00:02:04,021 Sorry, Billy Blanks, but why buy the tape 99 00:02:03,021 --> 00:02:05,021 I'm Cristal, like the champagne. 100 00:02:04,021 --> 00:02:07,021 Santa Claus might give you a golden shower for Christmas. 101 00:02:05,021 --> 00:02:07,021 when you can get the infomercial for free? 102 00:02:05,021 --> 00:02:06,021 I'm Granddad. 103 00:02:07,021 --> 00:02:08,021 Whew! 104 00:02:07,021 --> 00:02:08,021 Christmas? 105 00:02:08,021 --> 00:02:11,021 My man Santa. 106 00:02:08,021 --> 00:02:10,021 Hello, cutie. 107 00:02:10,021 --> 00:02:13,021 Yeah... 108 00:02:11,021 --> 00:02:14,021 And controversial R & B superstar R. Kelly 109 00:02:13,021 --> 00:02:14,021 I'd rather not. 110 00:02:14,021 --> 00:02:16,021 will be heading into court tomorrow 111 00:02:14,021 --> 00:02:17,021 My name's Cristal, like the champagne. 112 00:02:16,021 --> 00:02:18,021 What the hell? 113 00:02:16,021 --> 00:02:19,021 for the first day of his latest highly anticipated trial 114 00:02:17,021 --> 00:02:20,021 Well, that sounds like a stripper name. 115 00:02:19,021 --> 00:02:21,021 Boys! 116 00:02:19,021 --> 00:02:21,021 for child pornography 117 00:02:20,021 --> 00:02:23,021 Cristal, like the champagne, might you be a stripper? 118 00:02:21,021 --> 00:02:23,021 and lewd acts with a local minor. 119 00:02:23,021 --> 00:02:26,021 Granddad, can you take us into the city tomorrow 120 00:02:24,021 --> 00:02:26,021 Would one of y'all like to explain this? 121 00:02:24,021 --> 00:02:27,021 And just what do you know about strippers, little man? 122 00:02:26,021 --> 00:02:27,021 Uh... 123 00:02:26,021 --> 00:02:28,021 to watch the R. Kelly trial? 124 00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:30,021 Not much, but I do know they're usually named after liquor. 125 00:02:28,021 --> 00:02:31,021 You mean, the orange juice or the miniskirt? 126 00:02:28,021 --> 00:02:29,021 Hell, no. 127 00:02:29,021 --> 00:02:31,021 But you can walk. 128 00:02:31,021 --> 00:02:33,021 Which one of y'all drank the last glass of orange juice? 129 00:02:31,021 --> 00:02:32,021 It's 40 miles. 130 00:02:33,021 --> 00:02:35,021 That's the last full day's supply of vitamin C. 131 00:02:33,021 --> 00:02:35,021 All the money I spent on them damn Nikes? 132 00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:37,021 I just love grocery stores in rich neighborhoods. 133 00:02:35,021 --> 00:02:37,021 Heh. You better "just do it." 134 00:02:36,021 --> 00:02:38,021 What am I supposed to do about my vitamin C now? 135 00:02:37,021 --> 00:02:39,021 Assistant District Attorney Thomas DuBois 136 00:02:37,021 --> 00:02:39,021 Much better stuff. 137 00:02:38,021 --> 00:02:41,021 Y'all need to start appreciatin' your granddaddy. 138 00:02:39,021 --> 00:02:41,021 is leading the prosecution of Kelly 139 00:02:41,021 --> 00:02:42,021 I went and spent your inheritance 140 00:02:41,021 --> 00:02:43,021 and has a mountain of evidence 141 00:02:42,021 --> 00:02:44,021 on this beautiful house in this neighborhood. 142 00:02:42,021 --> 00:02:45,021 Check out this special French whipped cream. 143 00:02:43,021 --> 00:02:44,021 against the famous R & B performer, 144 00:02:44,021 --> 00:02:47,021 including a videotape allegedly showing Kelly 145 00:02:45,021 --> 00:02:46,021 And all I ask you to do 146 00:02:46,021 --> 00:02:47,021 is act like you got some class. 147 00:02:46,021 --> 00:02:48,021 Mm. 148 00:02:47,021 --> 00:02:49,021 Hey, what's class? 149 00:02:47,021 --> 00:02:50,021 urinating on a 14-year-old girl, 150 00:02:48,021 --> 00:02:49,021 Mm. CRISTAL: Mm. 151 00:02:49,021 --> 00:02:51,021 It means don't act like niggas. 152 00:02:49,021 --> 00:02:52,021 GRANDDAD: Mm-hm. Mm. 153 00:02:50,021 --> 00:02:51,021 which is widely available for download 154 00:02:51,021 --> 00:02:54,021 S-see? That's what I'm talkin' about right there. 155 00:02:51,021 --> 00:02:55,021 at www.FreeToPee.com. Ooh. 156 00:02:52,021 --> 00:02:54,021 It's edible. 157 00:02:54,021 --> 00:02:55,021 We don't use the N-word in this house. 158 00:02:54,021 --> 00:02:55,021 GRANDDAD: Whipped cream, teddy bear... 159 00:02:56,021 --> 00:02:58,021 Granddad, you said the word "nigga" 46 times yesterday. 160 00:02:56,021 --> 00:02:58,021 I'm gonna go, uh... 161 00:02:58,021 --> 00:02:59,021 I counted. 162 00:02:58,021 --> 00:03:00,021 check my e-mail. 163 00:02:58,021 --> 00:03:00,021 GRANDDAD: Mm, mm, mm. 164 00:02:59,021 --> 00:03:00,021 Nigga, hush. 165 00:03:00,021 --> 00:03:01,021 Now, you may not like it, 166 00:03:00,021 --> 00:03:01,021 Yeah. 167 00:03:02,021 --> 00:03:04,021 but I moved y'all out here 168 00:03:02,021 --> 00:03:04,021 GRANDDAD: Somebody's busy. 169 00:03:04,021 --> 00:03:05,021 to expand your horizon. 170 00:03:04,021 --> 00:03:06,021 Get your little short ass back here! 171 00:03:04,021 --> 00:03:06,021 One hundred fifty-three dollars and 12 cents is your total. 172 00:03:05,021 --> 00:03:08,021 There's a new white man out here. 173 00:03:06,021 --> 00:03:08,021 Will this be cash or charge? 174 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,021 He's refined. 175 00:03:09,021 --> 00:03:10,021 For example, did you know 176 00:03:11,021 --> 00:03:13,021 that the new white man loves gourmet cheese? 177 00:03:11,021 --> 00:03:12,021 TOM: Hey, boys! 178 00:03:13,021 --> 00:03:14,021 Wait. 179 00:03:13,021 --> 00:03:14,021 You're such a gentleman. 180 00:03:14,021 --> 00:03:16,021 I'm sorry, did you say cheese? 181 00:03:15,021 --> 00:03:17,021 You didn't have to carry all my bags. 182 00:03:16,021 --> 00:03:18,021 Yep, cheese. 183 00:03:16,021 --> 00:03:17,021 Hey there, Huey. Riley. 184 00:03:17,021 --> 00:03:21,021 It's my pleasure, Cristal, like the champagne. 185 00:03:18,021 --> 00:03:20,021 You give the meanest white man a piece of cheese, 186 00:03:18,021 --> 00:03:19,021 I couldn't help but notice your sign, 187 00:03:19,021 --> 00:03:21,021 and I hope you boys aren't too upset about me 188 00:03:20,021 --> 00:03:22,021 and he turn into Mr. Rogers. 189 00:03:21,021 --> 00:03:23,021 having to prosecute Mr. Kelly. 190 00:03:21,021 --> 00:03:24,021 Well, see you around. 191 00:03:22,021 --> 00:03:23,021 Granddad, that doesn't make sense. 192 00:03:23,021 --> 00:03:24,021 Don't you talk back to me. 193 00:03:23,021 --> 00:03:25,021 Hey, man, you do what you gotta do. 194 00:03:25,021 --> 00:03:26,021 Granddad, you can't tame 195 00:03:25,021 --> 00:03:28,021 Why R. Kelly, huh? What did R. Kelly do to you? 196 00:03:26,021 --> 00:03:28,021 the white supremacist power structure with cheese! 197 00:03:28,021 --> 00:03:30,021 Oh, yes, I can! No, you can't! 198 00:03:28,021 --> 00:03:30,021 He's accused of relieving himself 199 00:03:30,021 --> 00:03:31,021 GRANDDAD: Yes, I can! No, you can not! 200 00:03:30,021 --> 00:03:32,021 on an underage girl on tape, 201 00:03:31,021 --> 00:03:32,021 I don't-- 202 00:03:32,021 --> 00:03:32,021 HUEY: Cheese. 203 00:03:32,021 --> 00:03:33,021 which is against the law. 204 00:03:33,021 --> 00:03:34,021 How can somebody that old 205 00:03:33,021 --> 00:03:35,021 Okay, okay, okay. 206 00:03:34,021 --> 00:03:36,021 say somethin' that stupid? 207 00:03:34,021 --> 00:03:35,021 I mean, I don't know if-- 208 00:03:35,021 --> 00:03:38,021 But let's examine this whole peein' thing. 209 00:03:35,021 --> 00:03:38,021 Would you like a date? 210 00:03:36,021 --> 00:03:38,021 RILEY: I know about white people too. 211 00:03:38,021 --> 00:03:39,021 Like, when they talk, 212 00:03:38,021 --> 00:03:40,021 So I can pee in a toilet, and it's okay, 213 00:03:38,021 --> 00:03:41,021 It just so happen I have coupons for the Red Lobster, cutie pie. 214 00:03:39,021 --> 00:03:45,021 they say the whole word, 215 00:03:39,021 --> 00:03:45,021 like this. 216 00:03:40,021 --> 00:03:43,021 but if I pee on a person, it's, like, not okay? 217 00:03:42,021 --> 00:03:45,021 Um...okay. 218 00:03:43,021 --> 00:03:46,021 Well...yeah. 219 00:03:45,021 --> 00:03:48,021 HUEY: Why'd he even move us 220 00:03:45,021 --> 00:03:48,021 out here? 221 00:03:46,021 --> 00:03:49,021 Well, what if I'm peein', and Huey's in the bathroom, 222 00:03:48,021 --> 00:03:50,021 Probably did it just to make us miserable. 223 00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:51,021 and I accidentally pee on Huey? 224 00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:53,021 RILEY: And white people take time out 225 00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:53,021 to study. 226 00:03:51,021 --> 00:03:52,021 Should I go to jail? 227 00:03:51,021 --> 00:03:54,021 You do realize that light-skinned ho was a ho, 228 00:03:52,021 --> 00:03:54,021 What the hell would I be doin' in the bathroom 229 00:03:53,021 --> 00:03:55,021 I hate this place. 230 00:03:54,021 --> 00:03:55,021 while you're in the bathroom? 231 00:03:54,021 --> 00:03:56,021 right, Granddad? 232 00:03:55,021 --> 00:03:58,021 RILEY: And white people arrest you. 233 00:03:55,021 --> 00:03:57,021 Hold up, hold up. 234 00:03:56,021 --> 00:03:57,021 Don't cuss, boy. Now, watch your mouth. 235 00:03:57,021 --> 00:03:58,021 Remember when we used to sleep in the same bed 236 00:03:58,021 --> 00:03:59,021 Man. 237 00:03:58,021 --> 00:03:59,021 I didn't cuss. I said ho. 238 00:03:59,021 --> 00:04:00,021 when we was littler? 239 00:03:59,021 --> 00:04:01,021 Don't think because I'm driving, I can't come back there. 240 00:04:00,021 --> 00:04:02,021 From time to time, I'd have a little accident. 241 00:04:01,021 --> 00:04:03,021 I don't see what the big deal is, 242 00:04:02,021 --> 00:04:03,021 RILEY: Hey! 243 00:04:02,021 --> 00:04:04,021 You still do. Shut up. 244 00:04:03,021 --> 00:04:05,021 just sayin' "ho." 245 00:04:04,021 --> 00:04:06,021 So, Mr. DuBois, 246 00:04:05,021 --> 00:04:07,021 Ow! You smackin' me! Granddad, stop. 247 00:04:06,021 --> 00:04:08,021 Looks like the feds. 248 00:04:06,021 --> 00:04:10,021 Mr. "I Wanna Lock Niggas Up for Peein'," 249 00:04:07,021 --> 00:04:09,021 GRANDDAD: Didn't I tell you 250 00:04:07,021 --> 00:04:09,021 to watch your mouth? 251 00:04:09,021 --> 00:04:11,021 Granddad! 252 00:04:10,021 --> 00:04:12,021 what's the statute of limitations on bed-wettin'? 253 00:04:11,021 --> 00:04:14,021 Riley, stop, or we are going to die! 254 00:04:12,021 --> 00:04:16,021 Why not prosecute me and R. Kelly at the same time, huh? 255 00:04:16,021 --> 00:04:19,021 Now, Riley, no one's going to prosecute you 256 00:04:17,021 --> 00:04:19,021 Who the hell could be knockin' on this door 257 00:04:18,021 --> 00:04:21,021 Now, I bet you won't say it again. 258 00:04:19,021 --> 00:04:21,021 this early in the mornin'? 259 00:04:19,021 --> 00:04:20,021 for bed-wetting. 260 00:04:20,021 --> 00:04:22,021 And you shouldn't. 261 00:04:21,021 --> 00:04:23,021 If it's a Jehovah Witness, I'm kickin' his ass. 262 00:04:22,021 --> 00:04:24,021 It's a natural bodily function. 263 00:04:23,021 --> 00:04:24,021 Yes? 264 00:04:23,021 --> 00:04:24,021 Ho. 265 00:04:24,021 --> 00:04:27,021 I'm looking for Robert Freeman. 266 00:04:24,021 --> 00:04:27,021 And now every nigga in the world gonna be scared to pee. 267 00:04:24,021 --> 00:04:26,021 Oh, I got your ho! HUEY: Watch the road. 268 00:04:26,021 --> 00:04:27,021 Watch the road, Granddad! 269 00:04:27,021 --> 00:04:28,021 I'm Robert Freeman. 270 00:04:27,021 --> 00:04:29,021 I may never pee again! 271 00:04:28,021 --> 00:04:31,021 I'm Ed Wuncler. 272 00:04:29,021 --> 00:04:31,021 Riley, it was a little girl! 273 00:04:29,021 --> 00:04:31,021 HUEY: Granddad, have you 274 00:04:29,021 --> 00:04:31,021 asked yourself 275 00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:33,021 From Wuncler's Savings and Loan. 276 00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:34,021 Oh, I seen that girl. She ain't little. 277 00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:33,021 why a 20-year-old girl would want to go out 278 00:04:33,021 --> 00:04:34,021 with a man your age? 279 00:04:34,021 --> 00:04:35,021 Uh, so? 280 00:04:34,021 --> 00:04:36,021 I'm little. Yes. 281 00:04:34,021 --> 00:04:37,021 Because I laid my game down quite flat. 282 00:04:35,021 --> 00:04:39,021 I own the bank that owns your house. 283 00:04:36,021 --> 00:04:37,021 Gary Coleman's little. Yes. 284 00:04:37,021 --> 00:04:39,021 Mini-Me is little. Very. 285 00:04:37,021 --> 00:04:38,021 Game? 286 00:04:38,021 --> 00:04:40,021 What you know about the game, Granddad? 287 00:04:39,021 --> 00:04:40,021 Oh, well-- 288 00:04:39,021 --> 00:04:41,021 And to the best of my knowledge, 289 00:04:40,021 --> 00:04:41,021 Come in, sir. 290 00:04:40,021 --> 00:04:42,021 I know the game. 291 00:04:41,021 --> 00:04:43,021 Welcome to your house. 292 00:04:41,021 --> 00:04:43,021 we all managed to avoid gettin' peed on so far. 293 00:04:42,021 --> 00:04:43,021 Takin' women out to eat? 294 00:04:43,021 --> 00:04:45,021 But what about the victim? 295 00:04:43,021 --> 00:04:45,021 Givin' 'em free meals? What part of the game is that? 296 00:04:45,021 --> 00:04:48,021 Oh, yes, the victim. 297 00:04:45,021 --> 00:04:49,021 You takin' her to Red Lobster with the cheddar biscuits. 298 00:04:47,021 --> 00:04:53,021 Robert, my family founded Woodcrest over 170 years ago. 299 00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:50,021 At what point does personal responsibility 300 00:04:49,021 --> 00:04:51,021 The fam ain't eatin' cheddar biscuits, 301 00:04:50,021 --> 00:04:52,021 become a factor in this equation? 302 00:04:51,021 --> 00:04:53,021 but this random broad is eatin' cheddar biscuits. 303 00:04:52,021 --> 00:04:53,021 I don't think that-- 304 00:04:53,021 --> 00:04:56,021 I was born here, and I still live here. 305 00:04:53,021 --> 00:04:55,021 I see piss comin', I move. 306 00:04:53,021 --> 00:04:55,021 Mm. 307 00:04:54,021 --> 00:04:56,021 I know the game. Your granddaddy knows the game. 308 00:04:55,021 --> 00:04:56,021 She saw piss comin', she stayed. 309 00:04:56,021 --> 00:04:59,021 I consider this place to be family, 310 00:04:56,021 --> 00:04:57,021 Yes, she did, but-- 311 00:04:56,021 --> 00:04:59,021 Game recognize game, Granddad. 312 00:04:57,021 --> 00:04:59,021 And why should I have to miss out 313 00:04:59,021 --> 00:05:01,021 on the next R. Kelly album just for that? 314 00:04:59,021 --> 00:05:03,021 I recognize game. Your granddaddy recognize game. 315 00:05:00,021 --> 00:05:02,021 and I'm very selective 316 00:05:02,021 --> 00:05:05,021 about who I allow in to that family. 317 00:05:03,021 --> 00:05:07,021 Man, you just got beat by an 8-year-old. 318 00:05:03,021 --> 00:05:04,021 Game recognize game, 319 00:05:04,021 --> 00:05:08,021 and you lookin' kinda unfamiliar right now. 320 00:05:06,021 --> 00:05:08,021 You understand what I'm saying, Robert? 321 00:05:07,021 --> 00:05:11,021 And if R. Kelly goes to jail, I'll piss on your cat! 322 00:05:08,021 --> 00:05:11,021 Hey, yes, I totally understand. 323 00:05:08,021 --> 00:05:12,021 I-- I can't-- Where's Granddad? Can I help you, sir? 324 00:05:11,021 --> 00:05:13,021 Would you like some... 325 00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,021 cheese? 326 00:05:14,021 --> 00:05:16,021 I ain't got time to mess around with y'all. 327 00:05:15,021 --> 00:05:18,021 Did you just offer me cheese? 328 00:05:16,021 --> 00:05:18,021 I got a date. Get out the way. 329 00:05:18,021 --> 00:05:19,021 Yes, I did. 330 00:05:19,021 --> 00:05:20,021 RUCKUS: I tell you, 331 00:05:19,021 --> 00:05:21,021 RILEY: Don't do it, Granddad! 332 00:05:20,021 --> 00:05:22,021 it sure is beautiful out here. 333 00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:23,021 I'd love some cheese, thank you. 334 00:05:22,021 --> 00:05:25,021 White folks sure know how to make some nice foliage. 335 00:05:22,021 --> 00:05:23,021 Don't feed her! 336 00:05:23,021 --> 00:05:24,021 Hm. 337 00:05:23,021 --> 00:05:24,021 GRANDDAD: Come on, now, stop. 338 00:05:24,021 --> 00:05:26,021 Riley! 339 00:05:24,021 --> 00:05:26,021 Get off my leg. RILEY : Don't feed her 340 00:05:25,021 --> 00:05:27,021 Ah, come on, Ruckus. 341 00:05:26,021 --> 00:05:27,021 Go get the fancy cheese. 342 00:05:26,021 --> 00:05:29,021 Don't try to pull me back. the cheddar biscuits! 343 00:05:27,021 --> 00:05:32,021 I'd like to ask some questions, if you don't mind. 344 00:05:27,021 --> 00:05:30,021 You can't give the white man credit for the trees. 345 00:05:29,021 --> 00:05:31,021 What the hell? Get off me, boy. What's wrong with you? 346 00:05:30,021 --> 00:05:35,021 Where them two little nappy-headed grandkids of yours? 347 00:05:32,021 --> 00:05:35,021 Are you gay, and if so, do you have a gay lover 348 00:05:33,021 --> 00:05:34,021 Mm. 349 00:05:35,021 --> 00:05:39,021 living with you in the house? 350 00:05:35,021 --> 00:05:36,021 Ah, they went into the city 351 00:05:35,021 --> 00:05:36,021 Oh, God. 352 00:05:36,021 --> 00:05:37,021 to watch the trial of that singer. 353 00:05:36,021 --> 00:05:39,021 Mm, mm. 354 00:05:37,021 --> 00:05:39,021 Oh, right, right. 355 00:05:39,021 --> 00:05:42,021 Gay? No, I'm not gay. 356 00:05:39,021 --> 00:05:41,021 That black sumbitch that supposed to have had 357 00:05:39,021 --> 00:05:42,021 These cheddar biscuits are so good, 358 00:05:41,021 --> 00:05:45,021 urinal relations with that underage colored gal. 359 00:05:42,021 --> 00:05:44,021 I mean, I happen to think a man looks nice 360 00:05:42,021 --> 00:05:44,021 they just melt in your mouth. 361 00:05:44,021 --> 00:05:46,021 with good hair and a ponytail. 362 00:05:44,021 --> 00:05:46,021 Thank you for the meal. 363 00:05:45,021 --> 00:05:48,021 Didn't Jerry Lee Lewis marry a 14-year-old baby? 364 00:05:46,021 --> 00:05:48,021 But, no, mm-mm, I'm not gay. 365 00:05:46,021 --> 00:05:48,021 It was very romantic, 366 00:05:48,021 --> 00:05:51,021 What's your position on gay marriage? 367 00:05:48,021 --> 00:05:51,021 You can't compare a chocolate monkey like R. Kelly 368 00:05:48,021 --> 00:05:50,021 like Sex and the City or somethin'. 369 00:05:50,021 --> 00:05:53,021 Wow. I have never seen a woman eat like that. 370 00:05:51,021 --> 00:05:52,021 Well, first of all, 371 00:05:51,021 --> 00:05:53,021 to Jerry Lee Lewis! 372 00:05:52,021 --> 00:05:54,021 I believe all marriage is wrong. 373 00:05:53,021 --> 00:05:56,021 Jerry Lee Lewis is the king of rock 'n' roll! 374 00:05:53,021 --> 00:05:54,021 Or a man, actually. 375 00:05:56,021 --> 00:05:58,021 Great balls of fire! 376 00:05:56,021 --> 00:05:58,021 You should bring some home for the boys. 377 00:05:58,021 --> 00:06:00,021 Good one, good. 378 00:05:58,021 --> 00:06:01,021 Besides, that situation was different. 379 00:05:58,021 --> 00:06:00,021 I don't know. If you feed 'em, they'll never leave. 380 00:06:00,021 --> 00:06:02,021 Uh, you don't look like you associate 381 00:06:00,021 --> 00:06:03,021 Oh, stop. They're so cute. 382 00:06:01,021 --> 00:06:02,021 That was family. 383 00:06:03,021 --> 00:06:05,021 with any Muslims, Arabs, you know. 384 00:06:03,021 --> 00:06:05,021 You must love having them around. 385 00:06:04,021 --> 00:06:06,021 MAN: We're here 386 00:06:04,021 --> 00:06:06,021 at the R. Kelly trial, 387 00:06:05,021 --> 00:06:07,021 People of terrorist descent? 388 00:06:05,021 --> 00:06:07,021 Well, not really, but-- 389 00:06:06,021 --> 00:06:08,021 where there are a handful of angry protesters 390 00:06:09,021 --> 00:06:11,021 Uh, well... 391 00:06:09,021 --> 00:06:10,021 making their voices heard. 392 00:06:09,021 --> 00:06:11,021 You should let me baby-sit sometimes. 393 00:06:10,021 --> 00:06:11,021 These are scholars, activists, 394 00:06:11,021 --> 00:06:12,021 RILEY: We got Kraft, 395 00:06:12,021 --> 00:06:14,021 and we got Velveeta. 396 00:06:12,021 --> 00:06:14,021 pillars of the African-American community, 397 00:06:12,021 --> 00:06:13,021 Doggy bag? 398 00:06:14,021 --> 00:06:16,021 A doggy bag is 90 bucks, a tea bag is 50, 399 00:06:15,021 --> 00:06:16,021 and they are outraged. 400 00:06:16,021 --> 00:06:18,021 And we're just going to head over here 401 00:06:16,021 --> 00:06:18,021 but I'll have to ask you to excuse me right now. 402 00:06:18,021 --> 00:06:19,021 Your grandson? 403 00:06:18,021 --> 00:06:21,021 to the R. Kelly supporters, 404 00:06:18,021 --> 00:06:21,021 See, I'm kind of, you know, on a real date. 405 00:06:20,021 --> 00:06:22,021 Afraid so. Ahem. 406 00:06:21,021 --> 00:06:22,021 where it's quite the festive event. 407 00:06:22,021 --> 00:06:24,021 And you are? Hey! 408 00:06:23,021 --> 00:06:26,021 You know, I have a grandson too. He's-- 409 00:06:24,021 --> 00:06:26,021 Now, why did you come out here to support R. Kelly? 410 00:06:24,021 --> 00:06:26,021 HUEY: You know, now that I think 411 00:06:24,021 --> 00:06:26,021 about it, 412 00:06:26,021 --> 00:06:27,021 Is that right? 413 00:06:26,021 --> 00:06:27,021 'Cause he good! 414 00:06:26,021 --> 00:06:29,021 I don't ever remember seein' Granddad with a woman. 415 00:06:27,021 --> 00:06:28,021 Well, heh-heh-heh, 416 00:06:27,021 --> 00:06:30,021 And what about those protesters over there 417 00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:30,021 this has been delightful. 418 00:06:29,021 --> 00:06:30,021 There was a time, when I was three, 419 00:06:30,021 --> 00:06:33,021 Well, it's really been a pleasure, Mr., uh-- 420 00:06:30,021 --> 00:06:31,021 who say he's crossed the line? 421 00:06:30,021 --> 00:06:32,021 when I thought he was gay, 422 00:06:31,021 --> 00:06:33,021 Mm. 423 00:06:32,021 --> 00:06:34,021 but now, I think it's just bad luck. 424 00:06:33,021 --> 00:06:34,021 I-Own-Everything. 425 00:06:33,021 --> 00:06:36,021 Man, fuck them literate-ass, uppity niggas. 426 00:06:34,021 --> 00:06:35,021 We should get together soon 427 00:06:34,021 --> 00:06:37,021 Well, I don't see what the big deal is with ho's, anyway. 428 00:06:35,021 --> 00:06:38,021 and have, uh... more cheese. 429 00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:39,021 All they talk about is readin' and eatin' right. 430 00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:40,021 Riley, all women are not ho's. 431 00:06:38,021 --> 00:06:40,021 Like a nice Brie or a G-Gouda-- 432 00:06:39,021 --> 00:06:40,021 Nobody wanna hear all that shit. 433 00:06:40,021 --> 00:06:41,021 G-Gayda-- Gouda. 434 00:06:40,021 --> 00:06:42,021 If I wanna get high blood pressure, then-- 435 00:06:40,021 --> 00:06:44,021 We're talkin' 20, 25 percent, tops. 436 00:06:41,021 --> 00:06:44,021 Heh. You know, you're my kind of guy, Freeman. 437 00:06:42,021 --> 00:06:44,021 Nigga, get the carrot away from me! 438 00:06:44,021 --> 00:06:45,021 Old school. 439 00:06:44,021 --> 00:06:46,021 If I wanna get high blood pressure, 440 00:06:44,021 --> 00:06:46,021 Okay, but if they not all ho's, 441 00:06:46,021 --> 00:06:48,021 then damn it, that's my business! 442 00:06:46,021 --> 00:06:49,021 then why I got to pay to take 'em out to eat, then? 443 00:06:47,021 --> 00:06:48,021 What are you doin' tomorrow? 444 00:06:48,021 --> 00:06:49,021 We're throwin' a garden party 445 00:06:48,021 --> 00:06:50,021 Let's talk to another R. Kelly supporter. 446 00:06:49,021 --> 00:06:51,021 for my grandson. 447 00:06:49,021 --> 00:06:52,021 I mean, I'm payin'. That's payment. 448 00:06:50,021 --> 00:06:51,021 Uh, you there, urban youth. 449 00:06:51,021 --> 00:06:53,021 He just got back from Iraq. 450 00:06:52,021 --> 00:06:53,021 Why do you think R. Kelly is innocent? 451 00:06:52,021 --> 00:06:55,021 Uh, I don't know. 'Cause that's just what you do. 452 00:06:53,021 --> 00:06:56,021 You should stop by, meet some of the neighbors. 453 00:06:54,021 --> 00:06:56,021 If I started peein' on you right now, 454 00:06:55,021 --> 00:06:57,021 You meet a girl, you take her out to dinner, 455 00:06:56,021 --> 00:06:58,021 Bring the kids. 456 00:06:56,021 --> 00:06:58,021 would you, A, smile and ask for more, 457 00:06:57,021 --> 00:06:59,021 but you're not payin' the girl. 458 00:06:58,021 --> 00:07:00,021 Sounds like a splendid idea. 459 00:06:58,021 --> 00:07:00,021 or B, move the hell out the way? 460 00:06:59,021 --> 00:07:02,021 You're payin' the restaurant. 461 00:07:00,021 --> 00:07:01,021 I'll see you tomorrow. 462 00:07:00,021 --> 00:07:04,021 But before you answer that, let me ask America: 463 00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:02,021 Uh, thanks for stoppin' by. 464 00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:04,021 Cheers. 465 00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:05,021 But I'm payin', which makes her a ho. 466 00:07:04,021 --> 00:07:06,021 Has pee ever really hurt anybody? 467 00:07:05,021 --> 00:07:06,021 Why don't I just give her the money 468 00:07:06,021 --> 00:07:09,021 And I wanna give a big shout-out to my homey, 469 00:07:06,021 --> 00:07:08,021 I was gonna spend on dinner 470 00:07:07,021 --> 00:07:09,021 Huey! 471 00:07:08,021 --> 00:07:10,021 and that ho can go grocery shoppin'. 472 00:07:09,021 --> 00:07:11,021 GRANDDAD: This damn thing looks real. 473 00:07:09,021 --> 00:07:11,021 D-Bone, whassup?! 474 00:07:11,021 --> 00:07:13,021 Can I have my gun back? 475 00:07:11,021 --> 00:07:13,021 Okay, that's enough. 476 00:07:13,021 --> 00:07:14,021 Oof. 477 00:07:13,021 --> 00:07:15,021 And what do you do again? 478 00:07:14,021 --> 00:07:15,021 Get off me! 479 00:07:15,021 --> 00:07:16,021 Son of a--! 480 00:07:15,021 --> 00:07:16,021 Get off me, Huey! 481 00:07:15,021 --> 00:07:18,021 I'm in, uh-- Sales. 482 00:07:17,021 --> 00:07:18,021 GRANDDAD: A garden party? 483 00:07:17,021 --> 00:07:18,021 Free R. Kelly! 484 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,021 Yeah, boy. 485 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:20,021 Hey, yo, yo, yo! Look! Free R. Kelly! 486 00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:21,021 I might buy sandals and new underwear. 487 00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:20,021 You could call it sales. 488 00:07:20,021 --> 00:07:22,021 Those R. Kelly haters are oppressin' that little boy! 489 00:07:21,021 --> 00:07:23,021 Oh, you shot me! 490 00:07:21,021 --> 00:07:22,021 I don't really like to talk about work. 491 00:07:22,021 --> 00:07:24,021 RILEY: Free R. Kelly! 492 00:07:23,021 --> 00:07:26,021 Granddad tried to assassinate me. 493 00:07:23,021 --> 00:07:25,021 I'm not really fulfilled at my job. 494 00:07:24,021 --> 00:07:26,021 Free-- Argh! 495 00:07:25,021 --> 00:07:26,021 Why not? 496 00:07:26,021 --> 00:07:29,021 Boy, what did I tell ya? This is the new white man. 497 00:07:26,021 --> 00:07:28,021 Well, the hours are pretty long, 498 00:07:28,021 --> 00:07:29,021 MAN: Get out of here, y'all. 499 00:07:28,021 --> 00:07:30,021 the boss is a real jerk, and the clients-- 500 00:07:29,021 --> 00:07:31,021 He's distinguished. 501 00:07:29,021 --> 00:07:31,021 MAN 2: We know what we talkin' about. 502 00:07:30,021 --> 00:07:32,021 Ugh, don't get me started on the clients. 503 00:07:31,021 --> 00:07:34,021 Granddad, I do not sip tea with the enemy. 504 00:07:31,021 --> 00:07:34,021 MAN 3: Get 'em! WOMAN: You want a piece of me? 505 00:07:32,021 --> 00:07:34,021 Oh, damn. So why do you do it? 506 00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:36,021 You could force me to go, 507 00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:35,021 Aaaahhh! 508 00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:37,021 Mm, basically I'm in a transitional period. 509 00:07:36,021 --> 00:07:38,021 but you cannot force me to be someone I'm not. 510 00:07:37,021 --> 00:07:38,021 Like last year, 511 00:07:38,021 --> 00:07:41,021 The hell I can't! 512 00:07:39,021 --> 00:07:40,021 people said I should be a model, 513 00:07:40,021 --> 00:07:42,021 but you gotta go get the pictures taken 514 00:07:41,021 --> 00:07:43,021 You gonna go and you're not gonna embarrass me 515 00:07:41,021 --> 00:07:43,021 I knew it would be just a matter of time 516 00:07:42,021 --> 00:07:43,021 and do that whole thing. 517 00:07:43,021 --> 00:07:45,021 in front of my new neighbors, or I'm gonna beat your ass. 518 00:07:43,021 --> 00:07:45,021 before violence broke out. 519 00:07:43,021 --> 00:07:45,021 Seemed like a lot of work. 520 00:07:45,021 --> 00:07:48,021 Why can't we be ourselves, huh? Why can't I be me? 521 00:07:45,021 --> 00:07:48,021 It's pandemonium here at the R. Kelly trial. 522 00:07:45,021 --> 00:07:47,021 Yeah, taking pictures can be tough. 523 00:07:47,021 --> 00:07:48,021 And then I wanted to be a chef, 524 00:07:48,021 --> 00:07:50,021 Are you ashamed of us? Very. 525 00:07:48,021 --> 00:07:50,021 Oh, the humanity! 526 00:07:48,021 --> 00:07:51,021 but can you believe they want you to go to school for that? 527 00:07:50,021 --> 00:07:52,021 We never asked to move here 528 00:07:52,021 --> 00:07:54,021 with your precious new white people, Granddad. 529 00:07:52,021 --> 00:07:53,021 I wish I could find a man, 530 00:07:53,021 --> 00:07:56,021 who could swoop in like a superhero, 531 00:07:54,021 --> 00:07:55,021 Didn't ask? 532 00:07:55,021 --> 00:07:56,021 Well, you didn't ask for us 533 00:07:56,021 --> 00:08:01,021 and save me from, you know, work. 534 00:07:57,021 --> 00:07:58,021 to be attacked by dogs and fire hoses, 535 00:07:58,021 --> 00:08:00,021 so you can live here, but we did it anyway. 536 00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:02,021 Oh, here he go again with the dogs and the fire hoses. 537 00:08:01,021 --> 00:08:04,021 Kind of like a Captain Save-A-Me. 538 00:08:03,021 --> 00:08:05,021 Shoot, we were attacked by dogs and fire hoses. 539 00:08:04,021 --> 00:08:06,021 Do you know where I can buy a cape? 540 00:08:05,021 --> 00:08:06,021 Were you attacked? 541 00:08:05,021 --> 00:08:06,021 Mr. Kelly! Mr. Kelly! 542 00:08:06,021 --> 00:08:07,021 Ooh. Damn. 543 00:08:07,021 --> 00:08:08,021 Do you have a statement? 544 00:08:07,021 --> 00:08:09,021 Whoa. Wow. 545 00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:10,021 I-I don't know what difference that makes. 546 00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,021 This is truly an example 547 00:08:10,021 --> 00:08:12,021 Because it's like the whole generation 548 00:08:10,021 --> 00:08:11,021 of black people stickin' together. 549 00:08:11,021 --> 00:08:13,021 In the words of Sister Souljah, 550 00:08:11,021 --> 00:08:13,021 That's how it starts, you know. 551 00:08:12,021 --> 00:08:14,021 tries to take credit for what happened to some people. 552 00:08:13,021 --> 00:08:16,021 "An injustice anywhere is an injustice... 553 00:08:13,021 --> 00:08:15,021 Takin' bitches out to eat, 554 00:08:14,021 --> 00:08:16,021 That's ridiculous. 555 00:08:15,021 --> 00:08:16,021 meals and whatnot. 556 00:08:16,021 --> 00:08:17,021 anywhere." 557 00:08:16,021 --> 00:08:18,021 Next thing you know, 558 00:08:17,021 --> 00:08:18,021 Now, see-- Well, you know-- 559 00:08:17,021 --> 00:08:19,021 Amen. 560 00:08:18,021 --> 00:08:20,021 Uh, what had happened was... 561 00:08:18,021 --> 00:08:20,021 you wake up in a rest haven for ho's. 562 00:08:20,021 --> 00:08:23,021 A sanctuary for scandalous skeezers and stunts. 563 00:08:22,021 --> 00:08:23,021 MAN: Get out of here. 564 00:08:22,021 --> 00:08:23,021 Go, go, go! 565 00:08:23,021 --> 00:08:26,021 MAN: Come on, get out of here. 566 00:08:23,021 --> 00:08:25,021 You're jumpin' to conclusions. It's just a date. 567 00:08:24,021 --> 00:08:26,021 What did O.J. Simpson say to Kobe after his case was over? 568 00:08:26,021 --> 00:08:27,021 Aw, man. 569 00:08:26,021 --> 00:08:27,021 What's that? 570 00:08:26,021 --> 00:08:27,021 What if he marries her? 571 00:08:27,021 --> 00:08:29,021 I missed it. Was it bad? 572 00:08:27,021 --> 00:08:29,021 Don't let this whole trial thing 573 00:08:27,021 --> 00:08:30,021 What if we end up with a ho for a grandma? 574 00:08:29,021 --> 00:08:31,021 Did they do the thing with the fire hoses? 575 00:08:29,021 --> 00:08:30,021 turn you off to white women. 576 00:08:30,021 --> 00:08:32,021 Riley, shut your dumb ass up. 577 00:08:31,021 --> 00:08:33,021 What do you think, chump? 578 00:08:32,021 --> 00:08:35,021 That's funny on so many levels. 579 00:08:32,021 --> 00:08:33,021 What if we have a ho for a grandma, 580 00:08:33,021 --> 00:08:35,021 Damn, what's eatin' you? 581 00:08:33,021 --> 00:08:35,021 and she comes to school on career day? 582 00:08:35,021 --> 00:08:37,021 A goddamn German shepherd, that's what. 583 00:08:35,021 --> 00:08:39,021 Lord, I just wish they would let me on that jury, boy. 584 00:08:35,021 --> 00:08:38,021 Ooh, what if they have kids? 585 00:08:37,021 --> 00:08:38,021 Where was you? 586 00:08:38,021 --> 00:08:40,021 I-I had to go back to the apartment 587 00:08:38,021 --> 00:08:40,021 We'd have a brother or sister that's half ho. 588 00:08:40,021 --> 00:08:41,021 'cause I forgot my raincoat. 589 00:08:40,021 --> 00:08:42,021 Thank God for the white man's court of law. 590 00:08:40,021 --> 00:08:42,021 Riley! 591 00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,021 You went to--? You--? 592 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:45,021 This nigga went to get a motherfuckin' raincoat. 593 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:47,021 It's the only way to keep these crazy niggas under control. 594 00:08:44,021 --> 00:08:47,021 CRISTAL: This is your home? 595 00:08:44,021 --> 00:08:47,021 It's beautiful. 596 00:08:45,021 --> 00:08:46,021 I can't believe you. 597 00:08:46,021 --> 00:08:48,021 We all been watchin' the same news. 598 00:08:47,021 --> 00:08:48,021 Well, that and pepper spray. 599 00:08:47,021 --> 00:08:49,021 Hey, boys. 600 00:08:48,021 --> 00:08:51,021 The police been doin' this fire hose thing all week. 601 00:08:49,021 --> 00:08:51,021 You know, I sat on a jury one time. 602 00:08:49,021 --> 00:08:53,021 I love this place. I never want to leave. 603 00:08:51,021 --> 00:08:53,021 I just assumed we'd all wear our raincoat. 604 00:08:51,021 --> 00:08:52,021 Really? 605 00:08:52,021 --> 00:08:54,021 Oh, yeah. 606 00:08:53,021 --> 00:08:54,021 Damn it, Robert. 607 00:08:53,021 --> 00:08:55,021 Is there anything to eat? 608 00:08:54,021 --> 00:08:56,021 Who the hell comes to a march with a raincoat? 609 00:08:54,021 --> 00:08:57,021 It was in 1957, back in Tennessee. 610 00:08:56,021 --> 00:08:57,021 Bet you wish you had a coat now. 611 00:08:57,021 --> 00:08:59,021 You son of a bitch! 612 00:08:57,021 --> 00:08:59,021 Now, the defendant was accused 613 00:08:58,021 --> 00:09:00,021 HUEY: I didn't want 614 00:08:58,021 --> 00:09:00,021 to believe Riley. 615 00:08:59,021 --> 00:09:02,021 GRANDDAD: Remember what Dr. King said! 616 00:08:59,021 --> 00:09:01,021 of shootin' three little white women 617 00:09:00,021 --> 00:09:03,021 I wanted Granddad to have finally found love in his life. 618 00:09:01,021 --> 00:09:05,021 with a Winchester rifle from about 50 yards away. 619 00:09:02,021 --> 00:09:04,021 Who actually got hit with the fire hose ain't important. 620 00:09:03,021 --> 00:09:06,021 But I've never been one to ignore the obvious. 621 00:09:04,021 --> 00:09:05,021 Now, we goin' to this party, 622 00:09:05,021 --> 00:09:08,021 and your black asses are gonna behave. 623 00:09:05,021 --> 00:09:07,021 See, now, he thought he was gonna get off 624 00:09:06,021 --> 00:09:09,021 Granddad was tryin' to turn a ho into a housewife. 625 00:09:07,021 --> 00:09:10,021 with that old "I'm blind" excuse, 626 00:09:08,021 --> 00:09:12,021 If I'm lucky, I'll find myself a nice white woman 627 00:09:09,021 --> 00:09:10,021 CRISTAL: Come on, Granddad. 628 00:09:10,021 --> 00:09:13,021 but, oh, boy, he had another thing comin'. 629 00:09:10,021 --> 00:09:11,021 GRANDDAD: What you talkin' about? 630 00:09:11,021 --> 00:09:13,021 Hey, you just wait a minute. Uh-huh. 631 00:09:12,021 --> 00:09:15,021 with a flat booty who'll listen to my problems. 632 00:09:13,021 --> 00:09:15,021 JUDGE: The jury will now go off 633 00:09:13,021 --> 00:09:15,021 and deliberate on-- 634 00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:16,021 Guilty! 635 00:09:16,021 --> 00:09:18,021 That nigga is guilty! 636 00:09:20,021 --> 00:09:23,021 Sir, settle down. You have to go deliberate. 637 00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:27,021 I don't need to deliberate. Hang that nigga now! 638 00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:27,021 GRANDDAD: Now, the word for the day 639 00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:27,021 is "behave." 640 00:09:27,021 --> 00:09:28,021 H-E-A-V-E. 641 00:09:27,021 --> 00:09:29,021 I got the rope right here! 642 00:09:28,021 --> 00:09:29,021 Behave. 643 00:09:29,021 --> 00:09:31,021 I'm comin', I'm comin'. 644 00:09:31,021 --> 00:09:33,021 Excuse me. Out of the way, Kunta Kinte! Yes, sir. 645 00:09:32,021 --> 00:09:34,021 King me. 646 00:09:33,021 --> 00:09:35,021 How can I help ya? 647 00:09:35,021 --> 00:09:37,021 GRANDDAD: Excuse me? 648 00:09:36,021 --> 00:09:38,021 TOM: Lady Liberty is on our side. 649 00:09:38,021 --> 00:09:41,021 Justice will prevail. 650 00:09:39,021 --> 00:09:42,021 Oh, Lord have mercy. Security. Security. 651 00:09:41,021 --> 00:09:43,021 The judge and jury will do the right thing. 652 00:09:42,021 --> 00:09:44,021 We got a Code Black. 653 00:09:43,021 --> 00:09:46,021 I'm telling you, Huey, it's an open-and-shut case. 654 00:09:44,021 --> 00:09:46,021 Code Black at the main gate. 655 00:09:46,021 --> 00:09:48,021 : ■ Ruckus, what the hell 656 00:09:46,021 --> 00:09:48,021 Mr. DuBois, are you fully aware 657 00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:49,021 is a Code Black? 658 00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:50,021 the extent to which niggas love R. Kelly? 659 00:09:49,021 --> 00:09:51,021 There are some hungry-lookin' 660 00:09:51,021 --> 00:09:53,021 niggas at the front gate. 661 00:09:52,021 --> 00:09:54,021 Oh, Huey, it's under control. 662 00:09:53,021 --> 00:09:54,021 What y'all doin' here? 663 00:09:54,021 --> 00:09:57,021 Deliveries are in the back. 664 00:09:54,021 --> 00:09:56,021 Watch me work. 665 00:09:57,021 --> 00:09:58,021 Well, my name is Robert Freeman, 666 00:09:58,021 --> 00:10:00,021 I was invited here by Ed Wuncler. 667 00:10:00,021 --> 00:10:04,021 Well, I'm Ruckus. Uncle Ruckus, no relation. 668 00:10:04,021 --> 00:10:06,021 And I work for Mr. Wuncler. 669 00:10:06,021 --> 00:10:07,021 And you slick niggas 670 00:10:06,021 --> 00:10:07,021 And so, ladies and gentlemen, 671 00:10:07,021 --> 00:10:10,021 ain't gonna fast-talk your way into this here party. 672 00:10:07,021 --> 00:10:10,021 not only will we prove it is Mr. Kelly in the video, 673 00:10:10,021 --> 00:10:12,021 Ruckus, what the hell are you doing? 674 00:10:10,021 --> 00:10:14,021 we will prove that the victim was 14 675 00:10:12,021 --> 00:10:13,021 Uh, Mr. Freeman, 676 00:10:12,021 --> 00:10:13,021 CRISTAL: What's up now? 677 00:10:13,021 --> 00:10:16,021 I'm sorry. Please, come this way. 678 00:10:13,021 --> 00:10:14,021 Why you keep doin' the same move? 679 00:10:14,021 --> 00:10:15,021 at the time the video was shot. 680 00:10:14,021 --> 00:10:17,021 Where your game at? Where your game at? 681 00:10:15,021 --> 00:10:17,021 Thank you, Mr. DuBois. 682 00:10:16,021 --> 00:10:17,021 GRANDDAD: See, boys? 683 00:10:17,021 --> 00:10:19,021 And you thought we'd be the only black people. 684 00:10:17,021 --> 00:10:18,021 And now we'll have the opening statement 685 00:10:17,021 --> 00:10:19,021 My X button ain't working. 686 00:10:19,021 --> 00:10:20,021 for the defense. 687 00:10:19,021 --> 00:10:20,021 Whatever, nigga. 688 00:10:20,021 --> 00:10:21,021 ATTORNEY: The ancient Greeks, 689 00:10:20,021 --> 00:10:23,021 Hey, look, I'm pressin' it. 690 00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:25,021 the architects of Western civilization, 691 00:10:23,021 --> 00:10:26,021 You see me pressin' it. You cheatin'. 692 00:10:25,021 --> 00:10:28,021 would regularly indulge in sexual activities 693 00:10:26,021 --> 00:10:28,021 Bitch, your game is garbage. 694 00:10:28,021 --> 00:10:29,021 with children. 695 00:10:28,021 --> 00:10:30,021 I'm Cristal, bitch. Who's next? 696 00:10:29,021 --> 00:10:32,021 Were they...perverts? 697 00:10:30,021 --> 00:10:33,021 Fake-ass Mariah Carey! 698 00:10:32,021 --> 00:10:34,021 In Puritan America, 699 00:10:34,021 --> 00:10:36,021 the forefathers of this great land 700 00:10:36,021 --> 00:10:40,021 would take wives who were 12 or 13 years old, 701 00:10:36,021 --> 00:10:38,021 That's how nasty my game is, son. 702 00:10:38,021 --> 00:10:39,021 I send niggas runnin' away. 703 00:10:40,021 --> 00:10:42,021 much younger than the alleged victim. 704 00:10:40,021 --> 00:10:41,021 What? 705 00:10:43,021 --> 00:10:46,021 Were they...sickos? 706 00:10:44,021 --> 00:10:45,021 Ah. 707 00:10:45,021 --> 00:10:48,021 A full day's supply of vitamin C. 708 00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:48,021 In Tokyo, you can buy teenage girls' panties 709 00:10:49,021 --> 00:10:50,021 in vending machines. 710 00:10:50,021 --> 00:10:53,021 Do we call them... 711 00:10:53,021 --> 00:10:55,021 "disgusting"? 712 00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:56,021 Of course not! 713 00:10:56,021 --> 00:10:59,021 What do all those things have to do with Robert Kelly? 714 00:10:59,021 --> 00:11:01,021 Nothing. 715 00:11:01,021 --> 00:11:03,021 Let's get to the point. 716 00:11:01,021 --> 00:11:04,021 Granddad, that woman has got to go. 717 00:11:03,021 --> 00:11:05,021 Now, some people see this so-called "mountain" 718 00:11:04,021 --> 00:11:08,021 Miss Cristal is my beautiful baby-boo, 719 00:11:05,021 --> 00:11:07,021 WUNCLER: Robert! 720 00:11:05,021 --> 00:11:07,021 of evidence, 721 00:11:07,021 --> 00:11:11,021 these "videotapes," "photographs," 722 00:11:08,021 --> 00:11:11,021 and you will show her some respect. 723 00:11:09,021 --> 00:11:12,021 Glad you made it, Robert. This is my grandson, Ed III. 724 00:11:11,021 --> 00:11:15,021 "eyewitnesses" and "DNA," 725 00:11:11,021 --> 00:11:14,021 Granddad, we don't know anything about Miss Cristal. 726 00:11:12,021 --> 00:11:13,021 How are you? 727 00:11:13,021 --> 00:11:14,021 Whassup y'all, what's good? 728 00:11:14,021 --> 00:11:17,021 I mean, we know she spends all your money. 729 00:11:15,021 --> 00:11:17,021 and see a guilty man. 730 00:11:16,021 --> 00:11:19,021 Uh...so I understand you just got back from Iraq. 731 00:11:17,021 --> 00:11:21,021 But some of us can see that "mountain" 732 00:11:17,021 --> 00:11:18,021 We know she eats more than a black hole. 733 00:11:18,021 --> 00:11:22,021 We know she cheat at PlayStation! 734 00:11:19,021 --> 00:11:20,021 For real? 735 00:11:20,021 --> 00:11:21,021 Yo, what's it like? 736 00:11:21,021 --> 00:11:23,021 What's it like? 737 00:11:21,021 --> 00:11:24,021 of so-called "evidence" 738 00:11:22,021 --> 00:11:25,021 But where does she live? What does she do for a living? 739 00:11:23,021 --> 00:11:25,021 What I supposed to say to that? 740 00:11:24,021 --> 00:11:26,021 for what it really is: 741 00:11:25,021 --> 00:11:28,021 It was cool, there was bitches? 742 00:11:25,021 --> 00:11:26,021 She's in sales. 743 00:11:26,021 --> 00:11:28,021 racism. 744 00:11:26,021 --> 00:11:27,021 Pfft. Ho sales. 745 00:11:27,021 --> 00:11:28,021 What? 746 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,021 Okay, there was bitches, but a lot of them had, 747 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,021 MAN: Oh, he said it right there. 748 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,021 Granddad, does she duck under the table 749 00:11:30,021 --> 00:11:31,021 you know, they was covered up 750 00:11:30,021 --> 00:11:32,021 every time a dude in a purple suit walks in? 751 00:11:31,021 --> 00:11:33,021 in them curtains and stuff they be wearin'. 752 00:11:33,021 --> 00:11:35,021 But I digress. 753 00:11:35,021 --> 00:11:37,021 It was war! 754 00:11:35,021 --> 00:11:36,021 Which one was the one that got caught 755 00:11:36,021 --> 00:11:38,021 with that homely, little white gal? 756 00:11:37,021 --> 00:11:39,021 It was war, basically. 757 00:11:38,021 --> 00:11:39,021 Kobe. 758 00:11:39,021 --> 00:11:40,021 War, you know what that's like? 759 00:11:39,021 --> 00:11:40,021 Right. 760 00:11:40,021 --> 00:11:42,021 Motherfuckers be, like, shootin': 761 00:11:40,021 --> 00:11:42,021 Now, I know exactly what happened to Kobe. 762 00:11:42,021 --> 00:11:44,021 Kobe caught that white fever. 763 00:11:42,021 --> 00:11:44,021 Uh, a lot of people do that. 764 00:11:44,021 --> 00:11:46,021 Bombs blowin' up. 765 00:11:44,021 --> 00:11:46,021 White fever will get in your blood, man. 766 00:11:44,021 --> 00:11:48,021 Can she run really, really, really fast in high heels? 767 00:11:46,021 --> 00:11:47,021 And, you know, the shit scared me. 768 00:11:46,021 --> 00:11:48,021 It'll make you crazy. 769 00:11:47,021 --> 00:11:48,021 It scared the shit out of me. 770 00:11:48,021 --> 00:11:51,021 Matter of fact, I shit on myself over a dozen times 771 00:11:48,021 --> 00:11:50,021 And you know they got them short, little skirts nowadays 772 00:11:48,021 --> 00:11:52,021 I don't know. Average speed, I guess. 773 00:11:50,021 --> 00:11:52,021 and that, uh-- What--? What they call them? 774 00:11:51,021 --> 00:11:54,021 and ran out of toilet paper after the second time. 775 00:11:52,021 --> 00:11:54,021 Race you to the car. 776 00:11:53,021 --> 00:11:54,021 The--? The--? The tongs? 777 00:11:54,021 --> 00:11:58,021 So you know what that meant, right? 778 00:11:54,021 --> 00:11:55,021 Thongs. 779 00:11:54,021 --> 00:11:55,021 Okay. 780 00:11:55,021 --> 00:11:56,021 Yeah, right. 781 00:11:56,021 --> 00:11:58,021 They got the thongs all up the booty crack, 782 00:11:58,021 --> 00:12:00,021 I had to use the thumb, man. It was kind of nasty. 783 00:11:59,021 --> 00:12:00,021 and they got that sweet white nectar. 784 00:11:59,021 --> 00:12:01,021 Hm. 785 00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,021 But, you know, the good thing about it 786 00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:03,021 Oh, Lord, have mercy. 787 00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:04,021 Maybe, uh... Little...above average. 788 00:12:02,021 --> 00:12:04,021 was they stopped taking me out on patrol. 789 00:12:03,021 --> 00:12:04,021 And after that, it's over. 790 00:12:04,021 --> 00:12:06,021 'Cause my name became "Stink Bomb." 791 00:12:04,021 --> 00:12:06,021 Does she keep askin' if you're a cop? 792 00:12:05,021 --> 00:12:07,021 You wake up, and you don't even know what you darn done. 793 00:12:06,021 --> 00:12:07,021 You know what I'm sayin'? 794 00:12:06,021 --> 00:12:07,021 No. 795 00:12:07,021 --> 00:12:09,021 They said, you know, I was giving away our position 796 00:12:07,021 --> 00:12:09,021 You know, you have to tell me if you're a cop, 797 00:12:08,021 --> 00:12:10,021 Just a pool of sweat around your ankles 798 00:12:09,021 --> 00:12:10,021 because of the shit smell. 799 00:12:09,021 --> 00:12:10,021 or it's entrapment. 800 00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:12,021 That was fine with me, you know what I'm sayin'. 801 00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:13,021 and a deep sense of satisfaction. 802 00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:11,021 Mm. 803 00:12:12,021 --> 00:12:14,021 They-- They wanted to leave me back. 804 00:12:12,021 --> 00:12:14,021 CRISTAL: My cute boys. 805 00:12:13,021 --> 00:12:14,021 Gimme a minute, Robert. 806 00:12:14,021 --> 00:12:16,021 And I was like: "Well, fuck y'all. 807 00:12:15,021 --> 00:12:17,021 You look like you need to take five. 808 00:12:16,021 --> 00:12:18,021 "Y'all go ahead on 'cause I don't need y'all anyway. 809 00:12:16,021 --> 00:12:19,021 You boys don't know Cristal like I do. 810 00:12:18,021 --> 00:12:20,021 I'm rich, bitch." 811 00:12:19,021 --> 00:12:21,021 Mm-hm. Yeah, sure. 812 00:12:19,021 --> 00:12:21,021 She's a wonderful woman. 813 00:12:21,021 --> 00:12:22,021 Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, 814 00:12:21,021 --> 00:12:23,021 She's in my heart. She's in my soul. 815 00:12:22,021 --> 00:12:26,021 I present to you the R. Kelly tape. 816 00:12:23,021 --> 00:12:26,021 I just want to be her everything. 817 00:12:24,021 --> 00:12:26,021 The fuck y'all looking at? 818 00:12:26,021 --> 00:12:28,021 Hey, li'l man. 819 00:12:26,021 --> 00:12:28,021 And for your information, children, 820 00:12:27,021 --> 00:12:31,021 I warn you, it is graphic. 821 00:12:28,021 --> 00:12:31,021 I had relations with Cristal last night. 822 00:12:29,021 --> 00:12:30,021 Like guns? 823 00:12:31,021 --> 00:12:32,021 Yeah! 824 00:12:31,021 --> 00:12:32,021 RILEY: Yeah! 825 00:12:31,021 --> 00:12:33,021 Ew, come on, Granddad! Oh, God, please! 826 00:12:32,021 --> 00:12:34,021 C'mon. 827 00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:36,021 Come on, let's get that drink. 828 00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:35,021 Why would you share that? That's nasty. 829 00:12:35,021 --> 00:12:37,021 How am I supposed to have nice dreams tonight, man? 830 00:12:37,021 --> 00:12:39,021 And she didn't charge me a dime. 831 00:12:39,021 --> 00:12:40,021 Mm. 832 00:12:40,021 --> 00:12:42,021 You ready to go shoppin' again? 833 00:12:42,021 --> 00:12:43,021 MAN: Oh. Oh, my... WOMAN: Oh, my... 834 00:12:42,021 --> 00:12:43,021 You betcha. 835 00:12:43,021 --> 00:12:45,021 MAN: Well, you should definitely see 836 00:12:43,021 --> 00:12:45,021 The Passion. 837 00:12:46,021 --> 00:12:47,021 It's a very important movie. 838 00:12:46,021 --> 00:12:49,021 MAN 2: No, he didn't. 839 00:12:47,021 --> 00:12:49,021 Couldn't see it. White Jesus. 840 00:12:49,021 --> 00:12:51,021 Excuse me? 841 00:12:49,021 --> 00:12:51,021 Objection! We can't even see his face clearly. 842 00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:52,021 Come on, man. 843 00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:55,021 It's supposed to be all historically accurate, 844 00:12:53,021 --> 00:12:55,021 MAN 2: Man, he got freckles 845 00:12:53,021 --> 00:12:55,021 and everything. 846 00:12:55,021 --> 00:12:56,021 and they still have a white man 847 00:12:55,021 --> 00:12:58,021 That proves nothing! 848 00:12:56,021 --> 00:12:58,021 playin' Jesus? 849 00:12:58,021 --> 00:13:00,021 That's some old bullshit. 850 00:13:00,021 --> 00:13:03,021 Young man, you speak so well. 851 00:13:01,021 --> 00:13:03,021 Hello? Yes, this is Robert Kelly. 852 00:13:01,021 --> 00:13:03,021 Hey, Huey. 853 00:13:03,021 --> 00:13:04,021 Yes, the singer. 854 00:13:03,021 --> 00:13:06,021 Okay, Cristal, I think we need to talk. 855 00:13:04,021 --> 00:13:06,021 You want my Social Security number? 856 00:13:06,021 --> 00:13:10,021 Sure, it's 916-34-7865. 857 00:13:07,021 --> 00:13:08,021 RUCKUS: Well, 858 00:13:07,021 --> 00:13:09,021 Before you start, 859 00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:10,021 la-di-da-di-do. 860 00:13:09,021 --> 00:13:11,021 I just want to tell you how much fun it's been 861 00:13:10,021 --> 00:13:13,021 Look like we got us the winner 862 00:13:10,021 --> 00:13:13,021 Okay. God bless. 863 00:13:11,021 --> 00:13:13,021 hangin' out with you guys. 864 00:13:13,021 --> 00:13:16,021 of the Lucky-Nigga-of-the-Year award. 865 00:13:13,021 --> 00:13:15,021 Well, um... 866 00:13:13,021 --> 00:13:15,021 Think of me as the big sister you always wanted. 867 00:13:16,021 --> 00:13:19,021 Don't take this the wrong way, but... 868 00:13:17,021 --> 00:13:18,021 Ah. 869 00:13:18,021 --> 00:13:19,021 Now, young lady, 870 00:13:19,021 --> 00:13:22,021 They must think the sun shine out your ass. 871 00:13:19,021 --> 00:13:21,021 I know this might be hard to talk about. 872 00:13:19,021 --> 00:13:20,021 I need you to get the hell up outta here. 873 00:13:21,021 --> 00:13:23,021 No, it's cool. 874 00:13:21,021 --> 00:13:22,021 Any particular reason? 875 00:13:22,021 --> 00:13:25,021 Mr. Wuncler's been very nice, yes. 876 00:13:22,021 --> 00:13:24,021 You're kind of a lazy ho? 877 00:13:23,021 --> 00:13:27,021 How old were you when you were seeing Mr. Kelly? 878 00:13:24,021 --> 00:13:26,021 Yeah, I can see that. 879 00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:28,021 They must think you Sidney fucking Poitier. 880 00:13:26,021 --> 00:13:29,021 I don't know why my granddad can't see it. 881 00:13:27,021 --> 00:13:28,021 Mm, 14 and a quarter. 882 00:13:28,021 --> 00:13:29,021 Well, 883 00:13:28,021 --> 00:13:31,021 Wow. That's a great age, isn't it? 884 00:13:29,021 --> 00:13:32,021 I been workin' for Mr. Wuncler for 20 years. 885 00:13:29,021 --> 00:13:33,021 To be honest, me either. It's so obvious. 886 00:13:31,021 --> 00:13:34,021 Still learning so much about the world. 887 00:13:32,021 --> 00:13:34,021 I ain't never got invited to the party. 888 00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,021 But it's okay because, see, 889 00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:38,021 Shoot, he don't even let me use the front door. 890 00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:36,021 Whatever. I guess. 891 00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:35,021 I'm in this transitional period-- 892 00:13:35,021 --> 00:13:38,021 Ah, ah, ah, I don't care. You gotta go. 893 00:13:36,021 --> 00:13:39,021 Could you describe the events leading up 894 00:13:38,021 --> 00:13:39,021 But you wouldn't know about that, 895 00:13:39,021 --> 00:13:43,021 now, would ya, Mr. Tibbs? 896 00:13:39,021 --> 00:13:40,021 to the shooting of the video? 897 00:13:40,021 --> 00:13:42,021 Yeah. He asked if he could pee on me, 898 00:13:42,021 --> 00:13:43,021 and I said, "Fo' sho'." 899 00:13:43,021 --> 00:13:44,021 Oh, yeah. 900 00:13:43,021 --> 00:13:46,021 I mean, it's R. Kelly, the Pied Piper of R & B. 901 00:13:44,021 --> 00:13:47,021 They must think your shit smell 902 00:13:45,021 --> 00:13:46,021 I can't do that. 903 00:13:46,021 --> 00:13:47,021 I'm sorry? 904 00:13:47,021 --> 00:13:50,021 like spring daisies and cinnamon. 905 00:13:47,021 --> 00:13:50,021 I been peed on by guys that don't even have record deals. 906 00:13:47,021 --> 00:13:49,021 You guys have the life. 907 00:13:49,021 --> 00:13:51,021 And I want the life too. 908 00:13:50,021 --> 00:13:52,021 Shit, if I didn't want to get peed on, 909 00:13:51,021 --> 00:13:54,021 Yeah, but it's our life. We're his family. 910 00:13:52,021 --> 00:13:53,021 Check this out. 911 00:13:52,021 --> 00:13:53,021 I'd just move out the way. 912 00:13:53,021 --> 00:13:54,021 Wow. 913 00:13:53,021 --> 00:13:55,021 RILEY: Ha! I told you! 914 00:13:54,021 --> 00:13:57,021 Are those real? 915 00:13:54,021 --> 00:13:58,021 Oh, so now, we get to what this is really about. 916 00:13:55,021 --> 00:13:56,021 Order! 917 00:13:56,021 --> 00:13:58,021 Would you describe yourself 918 00:13:57,021 --> 00:13:59,021 Real? 919 00:13:58,021 --> 00:14:01,021 as an African-American woman? 920 00:13:58,021 --> 00:14:01,021 I'm not one of y'all. I'm not in the family. 921 00:13:59,021 --> 00:14:01,021 Put it this way: 922 00:14:01,021 --> 00:14:04,021 if I pick one up and put it to your face, 923 00:14:01,021 --> 00:14:03,021 Nigga, you blind? 924 00:14:01,021 --> 00:14:03,021 I don't carry his genes, so I have to go? 925 00:14:03,021 --> 00:14:07,021 Uh, yeah. Plus, you're a lazy ho. 926 00:14:04,021 --> 00:14:06,021 pull the trigger, will you be dead? 927 00:14:05,021 --> 00:14:06,021 No, I'm not. 928 00:14:06,021 --> 00:14:09,021 So it's safe to say that R. Kelly is... 929 00:14:07,021 --> 00:14:10,021 Ugh, ho is a strong term. 930 00:14:09,021 --> 00:14:13,021 sexually attracted to black women, right? 931 00:14:10,021 --> 00:14:14,021 Right now, I'm somewhere between anatomical sales associate 932 00:14:13,021 --> 00:14:14,021 HUEY: And all I'm saying is, 933 00:14:13,021 --> 00:14:14,021 Mm-hm. 934 00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:16,021 Ronald Reagan was the devil. 935 00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:16,021 Objection, relevance! 936 00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:16,021 and high-maintenance girlfriend. 937 00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:20,021 You are such an articulate young man. 938 00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:19,021 Your Honor, I'm trying to establish to the court 939 00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:18,021 Can't you be positive about my growth? 940 00:14:18,021 --> 00:14:21,021 Cristal, every part of you bein' here is unacceptable. 941 00:14:19,021 --> 00:14:22,021 that my client is a proud black man 942 00:14:20,021 --> 00:14:22,021 I'm tryin' to explain to you 943 00:14:21,021 --> 00:14:24,021 Do you realize I'm doin' prostitute laundry? 944 00:14:22,021 --> 00:14:24,021 that Ronald Reagan was the devil. 945 00:14:23,021 --> 00:14:26,021 who loves his black sistas, 946 00:14:24,021 --> 00:14:26,021 Ronald Wilson Reagan. 947 00:14:24,021 --> 00:14:27,021 Do you have any idea how disgusting that is? 948 00:14:26,021 --> 00:14:28,021 Each of his names has six letters. 949 00:14:26,021 --> 00:14:28,021 unlike District Attorney DuBois, 950 00:14:28,021 --> 00:14:30,021 Six-six-six. 951 00:14:28,021 --> 00:14:32,021 Look, this is an adjustment for everyone, 952 00:14:29,021 --> 00:14:30,021 who's married... 953 00:14:30,021 --> 00:14:31,021 Man, doesn't that offend you? 954 00:14:30,021 --> 00:14:32,021 to a white woman! 955 00:14:31,021 --> 00:14:34,021 I love this kid. 956 00:14:32,021 --> 00:14:34,021 but it's what your grandfather wants. 957 00:14:34,021 --> 00:14:36,021 Stop that. What are you doin'? 958 00:14:34,021 --> 00:14:35,021 You can't get rid of me. 959 00:14:35,021 --> 00:14:39,021 I can do things to persuade your granddad that you can't do. 960 00:14:36,021 --> 00:14:37,021 Stop clappin'. 961 00:14:36,021 --> 00:14:37,021 Damn. 962 00:14:38,021 --> 00:14:40,021 Tsk, tsk, tsk. 963 00:14:39,021 --> 00:14:41,021 Having a good time, Robert? 964 00:14:39,021 --> 00:14:40,021 Like what? 965 00:14:40,021 --> 00:14:42,021 Never mind, I don't really wanna know. 966 00:14:41,021 --> 00:14:42,021 I-It's, uh... 967 00:14:43,021 --> 00:14:45,021 Come on, have a drink with me. 968 00:14:44,021 --> 00:14:46,021 Now, I've listened to your black ass 969 00:14:45,021 --> 00:14:47,021 You look nervous. 970 00:14:46,021 --> 00:14:48,021 talk all day about how much you can't stand black folks. 971 00:14:47,021 --> 00:14:51,021 Do I make you nervous, Free-man? 972 00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:50,021 Ain't two of 'em in the history of the world 973 00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:49,021 Bye, Granddaddy. 974 00:14:49,021 --> 00:14:50,021 I'll be back in a few. 975 00:14:50,021 --> 00:14:51,021 that's worth a squirrel fart. 976 00:14:50,021 --> 00:14:52,021 HUEY: Cristal was right. 977 00:14:51,021 --> 00:14:53,021 Nervous? No. 978 00:14:52,021 --> 00:14:53,021 Well, how much you love white folks? 979 00:14:52,021 --> 00:14:54,021 I was going about this the wrong way. 980 00:14:53,021 --> 00:14:57,021 I was just, uh, keepin' an eye out for the boys. 981 00:14:53,021 --> 00:14:57,021 Best thing the good Lord ever did for the planet Earth. 982 00:14:54,021 --> 00:14:57,021 Granddad needed to see the truth for himself. 983 00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:59,021 This is a lovely party. 984 00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:59,021 Ruckus, you black as the ace of spades, man. 985 00:14:59,021 --> 00:15:02,021 The only joy I get from these parties 986 00:15:00,021 --> 00:15:02,021 I don't see the need for you to go and insult a man 987 00:15:02,021 --> 00:15:04,021 is standing around, telling mean-spirited jokes 988 00:15:02,021 --> 00:15:03,021 after a game of Checkers. 989 00:15:03,021 --> 00:15:07,021 We been reminiscin' all day, lookin' in each other's eyes, 990 00:15:04,021 --> 00:15:07,021 at other people's expense. 991 00:15:07,021 --> 00:15:08,021 I do that too. 992 00:15:07,021 --> 00:15:08,021 actin' like we like each other. 993 00:15:08,021 --> 00:15:10,021 Check out that guy. 994 00:15:08,021 --> 00:15:11,021 Now, you gotta go ahead and remind me of my ailment. 995 00:15:10,021 --> 00:15:14,021 Why is his face all twisted up like that? 996 00:15:11,021 --> 00:15:13,021 Ailment? That's right. 997 00:15:13,021 --> 00:15:14,021 You heard of vitiligo? 998 00:15:14,021 --> 00:15:17,021 Looks like he jacks off with Icy Hot. 999 00:15:15,021 --> 00:15:18,021 Shoot! Well, I got re-vitiligo. 1000 00:15:18,021 --> 00:15:22,021 Every year my skin just seem to get blacker and darker 1001 00:15:20,021 --> 00:15:23,021 He looks like he just shit a gerbil. 1002 00:15:22,021 --> 00:15:25,021 and blacker and then more darker. Huh. 1003 00:15:25,021 --> 00:15:28,021 It's the opposite of what Michael Jackson got. 1004 00:15:27,021 --> 00:15:28,021 A gerbil. 1005 00:15:28,021 --> 00:15:29,021 Lucky bastard. 1006 00:15:29,021 --> 00:15:32,021 Sorry, I'll be right back. 1007 00:15:29,021 --> 00:15:34,021 Ruckus, how could you possibly love white people so much? 1008 00:15:34,021 --> 00:15:36,021 HUEY: Tell me this, 1009 00:15:34,021 --> 00:15:36,021 It's easy. Have you ever looked at 'em? 1010 00:15:36,021 --> 00:15:37,021 why was all the video recordin' 1011 00:15:36,021 --> 00:15:39,021 White man is just a joy to be around. 1012 00:15:37,021 --> 00:15:40,021 of the Pentagon attack seized by the FBI 1013 00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:43,021 They smell like lemon juice and Pledge furniture cleaner. 1014 00:15:40,021 --> 00:15:41,021 and never seen again? 1015 00:15:41,021 --> 00:15:43,021 He speaks so well. 1016 00:15:43,021 --> 00:15:45,021 He's adorable. 1017 00:15:43,021 --> 00:15:47,021 And look at 'em. They gave us discipline, jobs, 1018 00:15:45,021 --> 00:15:46,021 Are you even listenin' 1019 00:15:46,021 --> 00:15:48,021 to what I'm sayin'? 1020 00:15:47,021 --> 00:15:50,021 put structure in our life, took us out the jungle. 1021 00:15:48,021 --> 00:15:49,021 Nigga, if you ruin this party for me, 1022 00:15:50,021 --> 00:15:52,021 I'll put my-- Ruin the party? They love me. 1023 00:15:50,021 --> 00:15:52,021 And what we do to show our appreciation? 1024 00:15:52,021 --> 00:15:54,021 These people aren't worried about us. 1025 00:15:52,021 --> 00:15:54,021 We march up and down the street. 1026 00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:57,021 They're not worried about anything. They're rich. 1027 00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:57,021 We vote. Carry on. 1028 00:15:57,021 --> 00:15:58,021 No matter what happens, 1029 00:15:57,021 --> 00:15:58,021 Ingrates. 1030 00:15:58,021 --> 00:16:00,021 these people will just keep applaudin'. 1031 00:15:58,021 --> 00:16:00,021 Well, how about this? 1032 00:16:00,021 --> 00:16:02,021 Game. 1033 00:16:05,021 --> 00:16:06,021 : Ahem. Attention please. 1034 00:16:06,021 --> 00:16:11,021 My name is Uncle Ruckus, no relation. 1035 00:16:08,021 --> 00:16:09,021 Nigga. 1036 00:16:09,021 --> 00:16:11,021 ATTORNEY: I'm going to show you 1037 00:16:09,021 --> 00:16:12,021 Cutie pie, what is this? 1038 00:16:11,021 --> 00:16:15,021 I want to sing y'all a brand new song I just wrote called: 1039 00:16:11,021 --> 00:16:14,021 something they don't want you to see. 1040 00:16:14,021 --> 00:16:18,021 Something that will blow this case wide open. 1041 00:16:14,021 --> 00:16:15,021 That's not me. 1042 00:16:15,021 --> 00:16:18,021 "Don't Trust Them New Niggas Over There." 1043 00:16:15,021 --> 00:16:19,021 I can't believe you would digitally alter pictures of me. 1044 00:16:18,021 --> 00:16:21,021 Sing along if you know the words. 1045 00:16:18,021 --> 00:16:24,021 This is R. Kelly's NAACP Image Award Certificate of Nomination. 1046 00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:22,021 Boy, that ain't nothin' but Photoshop. 1047 00:16:22,021 --> 00:16:24,021 Get that outta here. 1048 00:16:25,021 --> 00:16:26,021 Hey, man, 1049 00:16:26,021 --> 00:16:30,021 Over there 1050 00:16:26,021 --> 00:16:28,021 you got his card? 1051 00:16:26,021 --> 00:16:29,021 Why don't they like me? 1052 00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:29,021 He's good. 1053 00:16:29,021 --> 00:16:31,021 I try... 1054 00:16:30,021 --> 00:16:34,021 In the air 1055 00:16:30,021 --> 00:16:32,021 Did you wash your hands? 1056 00:16:31,021 --> 00:16:34,021 so hard with them. 1057 00:16:32,021 --> 00:16:34,021 You think they nominate just anyone 1058 00:16:34,021 --> 00:16:37,021 Nappy-head niggas 1059 00:16:34,021 --> 00:16:36,021 for this award? MAN: I got one! 1060 00:16:34,021 --> 00:16:37,021 Aw, there, there. 1061 00:16:36,021 --> 00:16:39,021 You know why he wants to put R. Kelly in jail? 1062 00:16:37,021 --> 00:16:39,021 Haven't I done enough for you two? 1063 00:16:39,021 --> 00:16:41,021 MAN: Why? Because he's 1064 00:16:39,021 --> 00:16:41,021 afraid of R. Kelly. 1065 00:16:39,021 --> 00:16:42,021 Y'all don't know what it's like to be old. 1066 00:16:40,021 --> 00:16:44,021 Over there 1067 00:16:41,021 --> 00:16:43,021 MAN: Oh. Objection! 1068 00:16:42,021 --> 00:16:44,021 To know you don't have many days left. 1069 00:16:43,021 --> 00:16:44,021 Shhh! Would you be quiet? 1070 00:16:44,021 --> 00:16:48,021 Are you sure that vest'll stop this shotgun? 1071 00:16:44,021 --> 00:16:46,021 MAN: Shush. I think he's afraid. 1072 00:16:44,021 --> 00:16:47,021 Cristal makes me happy. 1073 00:16:46,021 --> 00:16:48,021 I think the whole system is afraid of R. Kelly. 1074 00:16:47,021 --> 00:16:48,021 Why would you want to take that away from me? 1075 00:16:48,021 --> 00:16:52,021 Man, I'm like the Terminator in this vest. 1076 00:16:48,021 --> 00:16:49,021 Your Honor, please! 1077 00:16:49,021 --> 00:16:51,021 If you don't shut up-- 1078 00:16:51,021 --> 00:16:54,021 They're afraid because they see the power for good 1079 00:16:53,021 --> 00:16:56,021 RUCKUS: 1080 00:16:54,021 --> 00:16:57,021 that this man wields through his music. 1081 00:16:54,021 --> 00:16:56,021 RILEY: It's a nigga 1082 00:16:54,021 --> 00:16:56,021 in a purple suit. 1083 00:16:57,021 --> 00:16:59,021 What? You don't believe me? 1084 00:16:57,021 --> 00:16:59,021 Yes, they do. MAN: Mm-hm. 1085 00:16:59,021 --> 00:17:01,021 Go ahead! 1086 00:16:59,021 --> 00:17:01,021 They don't want R. Kelly to be free 1087 00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:02,021 Pull the trigger. 1088 00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:04,021 because they don't want you to be free! 1089 00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:02,021 Who are you? 1090 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,021 Now, are you sure that--? 1091 00:17:04,021 --> 00:17:07,021 They don't want me to be free! 1092 00:17:05,021 --> 00:17:06,021 I said pull that trigger now! 1093 00:17:05,021 --> 00:17:08,021 My name is A Pimp Named Slickback, 1094 00:17:06,021 --> 00:17:08,021 You wanna play rough? 1095 00:17:07,021 --> 00:17:10,021 Maybe R. Kelly did urinate on this woman. 1096 00:17:08,021 --> 00:17:09,021 Okay. 1097 00:17:08,021 --> 00:17:10,021 and I believe I may have misplaced some merchandise 1098 00:17:09,021 --> 00:17:14,021 Over yonder 1099 00:17:10,021 --> 00:17:15,021 But America urinated on R. Kelly! 1100 00:17:11,021 --> 00:17:12,021 at this residence. 1101 00:17:12,021 --> 00:17:14,021 There she is. 1102 00:17:14,021 --> 00:17:18,021 It'll make you wonder 1103 00:17:14,021 --> 00:17:16,021 Bitch, I hope you got the monies 1104 00:17:15,021 --> 00:17:16,021 MAN: Oh! 1105 00:17:16,021 --> 00:17:19,021 to cover this little vacation you been takin'. 1106 00:17:19,021 --> 00:17:20,021 Now, hold up, Slickback. 1107 00:17:20,021 --> 00:17:23,021 No, that's A Pimp Named Slickback. 1108 00:17:21,021 --> 00:17:24,021 Nigga-figures 1109 00:17:21,021 --> 00:17:22,021 MAN: Tell 'em! MAN 2: He got framed! 1110 00:17:22,021 --> 00:17:25,021 And if you let them put this man in jail, 1111 00:17:23,021 --> 00:17:25,021 That's what I said: Slickback. 1112 00:17:25,021 --> 00:17:31,021 America will urinate on each and every one of you! 1113 00:17:25,021 --> 00:17:28,021 No, no, it's A Pimp Named Slickback. 1114 00:17:28,021 --> 00:17:30,021 Like A Tribe Called Quest. 1115 00:17:30,021 --> 00:17:32,021 You say the whole thing. A Pimp Named Slickback. 1116 00:17:31,021 --> 00:17:33,021 Assalamu'alaikum. 1117 00:17:32,021 --> 00:17:35,021 Uh, can we call you "Slickback" for short? 1118 00:17:33,021 --> 00:17:34,021 ALL: Wa alaikum assalam. 1119 00:17:34,021 --> 00:17:37,021 I think the N-word is okay, as long as they say it. 1120 00:17:34,021 --> 00:17:35,021 MAN 2: Brother. 1121 00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:39,021 Please, people. You saw the tape. 1122 00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:38,021 No, nigga. I'm A Pimp Named Slickback! 1123 00:17:38,021 --> 00:17:40,021 Cristal, who is this person? 1124 00:17:39,021 --> 00:17:41,021 See? 1125 00:17:39,021 --> 00:17:41,021 The girl testified she was underage. 1126 00:17:40,021 --> 00:17:42,021 Nigga, are you deaf? 1127 00:17:41,021 --> 00:17:46,021 You-- You're not allowed to do that to a little girl! 1128 00:17:42,021 --> 00:17:44,021 Say hello to my little friend. 1129 00:17:42,021 --> 00:17:46,021 I'm A Pimp Named Slickback. Say it with me, now. 1130 00:17:46,021 --> 00:17:49,021 We have a videotape! 1131 00:17:46,021 --> 00:17:48,021 He's my pimp. 1132 00:17:48,021 --> 00:17:50,021 Y-y-y-your pimp? 1133 00:17:49,021 --> 00:17:51,021 Go tell that to your white bitch. 1134 00:17:50,021 --> 00:17:51,021 So you really are a-- A-- 1135 00:17:51,021 --> 00:17:53,021 Mmm-hmm. 1136 00:17:52,021 --> 00:17:53,021 Yes, I'm a ho. RILEY & HUEY: Yes, she's a ho. 1137 00:17:53,021 --> 00:17:56,021 But the girl was... 1138 00:17:53,021 --> 00:17:56,021 Come on, bitch. Now. 1139 00:17:56,021 --> 00:17:59,021 A Pimp Named Slickback, could I please have a minute? 1140 00:17:57,021 --> 00:17:58,021 Fuck y'all lookin' at? 1141 00:17:57,021 --> 00:17:59,021 Prosecution rests. 1142 00:17:59,021 --> 00:18:01,021 A minute? 1143 00:18:01,021 --> 00:18:03,021 Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, 1144 00:18:01,021 --> 00:18:03,021 Let us pray "The Pimp's Prayer." 1145 00:18:03,021 --> 00:18:05,021 all that needs to be said is this: 1146 00:18:03,021 --> 00:18:06,021 Lord, please pray for the soul of this bitch, 1147 00:18:06,021 --> 00:18:10,021 and guide my pimp hand and make it strong, Lord, 1148 00:18:08,021 --> 00:18:09,021 MAN: Aw, yeah! 1149 00:18:10,021 --> 00:18:15,021 so that she might learn a ho's place. Amen. 1150 00:18:15,021 --> 00:18:16,021 Amen. Yeah! 1151 00:18:17,021 --> 00:18:19,021 Hey, you think we in trouble? 1152 00:18:19,021 --> 00:18:21,021 You shot his grandson out the window. 1153 00:18:20,021 --> 00:18:23,021 We're meant to be together 1154 00:18:21,021 --> 00:18:22,021 What you think? 1155 00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:26,021 I don't know. 1156 00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:27,021 You ain't gonna hit no woman in my house. 1157 00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:27,021 I didn't want to move here, 1158 00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:29,021 Let it go 1159 00:18:27,021 --> 00:18:30,021 but I don't really want Granddad to lose his house. 1160 00:18:27,021 --> 00:18:31,021 What woman, sir? This here's a ho. 1161 00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:32,021 He worked his whole life to get here. 1162 00:18:31,021 --> 00:18:33,021 MAN: Hey! 1163 00:18:31,021 --> 00:18:33,021 Not in this house, she's not. 1164 00:18:32,021 --> 00:18:36,021 Man, I like that house. 1165 00:18:35,021 --> 00:18:37,021 Why don't you just wait outside. 1166 00:18:36,021 --> 00:18:39,021 Oh, well, I shot a nigga! 1167 00:18:37,021 --> 00:18:40,021 What the hell is wrong with you people? 1168 00:18:40,021 --> 00:18:44,021 Every famous nigga that gets arrested is not Nelson Mandela! 1169 00:18:40,021 --> 00:18:42,021 Damn, Indiana Jenkins. 1170 00:18:42,021 --> 00:18:44,021 I didn't know we was still whoopin' niggas. 1171 00:18:43,021 --> 00:18:45,021 Mr. Wuncler, 1172 00:18:44,021 --> 00:18:45,021 Yes, the government conspires 1173 00:18:44,021 --> 00:18:45,021 Fine. 1174 00:18:45,021 --> 00:18:49,021 I'm...sorry about the whole, you know, 1175 00:18:45,021 --> 00:18:47,021 to put a lot of innocent black men in jail 1176 00:18:45,021 --> 00:18:48,021 Bitch, you got 45 seconds, and I'm leavin'. 1177 00:18:47,021 --> 00:18:49,021 on fallacious charges, 1178 00:18:48,021 --> 00:18:52,021 Forty-four, 43, 1179 00:18:49,021 --> 00:18:51,021 my grandson shooting your grandson 1180 00:18:49,021 --> 00:18:52,021 but R. Kelly is not one of those men! 1181 00:18:51,021 --> 00:18:53,021 out of the window thing. 1182 00:18:52,021 --> 00:18:55,021 We all know the nigga can sing, but what happened to standards? 1183 00:18:52,021 --> 00:18:54,021 42... 1184 00:18:53,021 --> 00:18:55,021 Are you mad? 1185 00:18:54,021 --> 00:18:55,021 I'm sorry I didn't tell you. 1186 00:18:55,021 --> 00:18:57,021 In 30 years, 1187 00:18:55,021 --> 00:18:58,021 What happened to bare minimums? 1188 00:18:55,021 --> 00:18:57,021 I mean, at first, I thought you knew. 1189 00:18:57,021 --> 00:19:01,021 that boy will be the president of the United States. 1190 00:18:57,021 --> 00:18:59,021 How would I? 1191 00:18:58,021 --> 00:18:59,021 You a fan of R. Kelly? 1192 00:18:59,021 --> 00:19:01,021 You wanna help R. Kelly? 1193 00:18:59,021 --> 00:19:02,021 I mean, I don't see how you couldn't have known. 1194 00:19:01,021 --> 00:19:04,021 And he'll still be a fucking idiot. 1195 00:19:01,021 --> 00:19:03,021 Then get some counseling for R. Kelly! 1196 00:19:02,021 --> 00:19:04,021 Well, easy mistake, I guess. 1197 00:19:03,021 --> 00:19:06,021 Introduce him to some older women. 1198 00:19:04,021 --> 00:19:06,021 Whew. 1199 00:19:04,021 --> 00:19:06,021 I mean, there were so many obvious signs-- 1200 00:19:06,021 --> 00:19:08,021 Now, are we gonna have that drink or what? 1201 00:19:06,021 --> 00:19:07,021 Hide his camcorder. 1202 00:19:06,021 --> 00:19:07,021 All right, all right, I got the point. 1203 00:19:08,021 --> 00:19:10,021 But don't pretend like the man is a hero! 1204 00:19:08,021 --> 00:19:10,021 Cristal, I don't care what you've done in the past, 1205 00:19:10,021 --> 00:19:12,021 Glad you were able to make it, Robert. 1206 00:19:10,021 --> 00:19:13,021 as long as you're ready to start fresh. 1207 00:19:12,021 --> 00:19:14,021 To the old school. 1208 00:19:13,021 --> 00:19:14,021 And stop the damn dancin'! 1209 00:19:13,021 --> 00:19:14,021 Think about it. Twenty-four... 1210 00:19:14,021 --> 00:19:16,021 To the old school. 1211 00:19:14,021 --> 00:19:17,021 Act like you got some goddamn sense, people! 1212 00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:16,021 You can stay here, 1213 00:19:16,021 --> 00:19:19,021 maybe get a job, go back to school. 1214 00:19:17,021 --> 00:19:18,021 Damn! 1215 00:19:18,021 --> 00:19:20,021 Through playin' around here! 1216 00:19:19,021 --> 00:19:20,021 We can make it work. 1217 00:19:20,021 --> 00:19:22,021 I don't know, Robert. 1218 00:19:22,021 --> 00:19:24,021 RILEY: Boooooo! 1219 00:19:22,021 --> 00:19:25,021 I'm not really cut out for school and jobs. 1220 00:19:24,021 --> 00:19:26,021 Hey, you with the Afro! 1221 00:19:26,021 --> 00:19:28,021 Give it a rest! Beat it! 1222 00:19:26,021 --> 00:19:29,021 But you'll be able to stay here with us. 1223 00:19:29,021 --> 00:19:31,021 Put the music back on! 1224 00:19:30,021 --> 00:19:33,021 Yeah, you're right. That sounds nice. 1225 00:19:33,021 --> 00:19:36,021 Let me just go and get rid of A Pimp Named Slickback, 1226 00:19:36,021 --> 00:19:38,021 then maybe I'll get some applications. 1227 00:19:38,021 --> 00:19:43,021 Eleven, 10, nine... 1228 00:19:41,021 --> 00:19:44,021 HUEY: I did battle 1229 00:19:41,021 --> 00:19:44,021 with ignorance today, 1230 00:19:44,021 --> 00:19:45,021 and ignorance won. 1231 00:19:45,021 --> 00:19:46,021 You're coming back, right? 1232 00:19:46,021 --> 00:19:49,021 Of course. 1233 00:19:47,021 --> 00:19:49,021 I admit that I'm often... 1234 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:52,021 vexed at the behavior of my own people. 1235 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:51,021 Time's up, bitch. I am leavin'. 1236 00:19:51,021 --> 00:19:53,021 Thanks for trying to save me. 1237 00:19:52,021 --> 00:19:55,021 Yeah, "vexed" is a good word. 1238 00:19:57,021 --> 00:20:00,021 I told you about messin' with them white women. 1239 00:20:00,021 --> 00:20:02,021 CRISTAL: No, Daddy! Wait, wait! 1240 00:20:02,021 --> 00:20:05,021 HUEY: You do what you can 1241 00:20:02,021 --> 00:20:05,021 to help black folks, 1242 00:20:03,021 --> 00:20:06,021 Wait, wait. 1243 00:20:05,021 --> 00:20:07,021 and they make you wonder why you even bother. 1244 00:20:08,021 --> 00:20:09,021 She'll be back. 1245 00:20:10,021 --> 00:20:12,021 But they're our people, 1246 00:20:12,021 --> 00:20:14,021 and we gotta love 'em regardless. 1247 00:20:14,021 --> 00:20:15,021 HUEY: I guess, deep down, 1248 00:20:15,021 --> 00:20:18,021 all grownups want to find that perfect person 1249 00:20:18,021 --> 00:20:20,021 that'll guarantee that they'll never be lonely again. 1250 00:20:20,021 --> 00:20:24,021 I still believe Granddad'll find his someday. 1251 00:20:31,021 --> 00:20:33,021 Did she come back? 1252 00:20:33,021 --> 00:20:35,021 WOMAN: Break it down! 1253 00:20:33,021 --> 00:20:35,021 Don't blow out the candle. She'll think nobody's home. 1254 00:20:35,021 --> 00:20:37,021 HUEY: One thing for sure, though. 1255 00:20:35,021 --> 00:20:38,021 It's all right, Granddad. 1256 00:20:37,021 --> 00:20:40,021 Can't blame this one on the white man. 1257 00:20:38,021 --> 00:20:39,021 Maybe she'll be back tomorrow. 1258 00:20:40,021 --> 00:20:41,021 What am I saying? 1259 00:20:41,021 --> 00:20:44,021 Of course I can. 1260 00:20:43,021 --> 00:20:45,021 HUEY: One thing I learned though... 1261 00:20:45,021 --> 00:20:46,021 Come back! 1262 00:20:46,021 --> 00:20:48,021 Wait! 1263 00:20:52,021 --> 00:20:54,021 Run, bitch, run! 1264 00:20:54,021 --> 00:20:57,021 she sure can run in those heels. 1265 00:20:57,021 --> 00:20:59,021 CRISTAL: I can't go to school! 1266 00:20:59,021 --> 00:21:02,021 I can't get no real job! 1267 00:21:04,021 --> 00:21:06,021 A PIMP NAMED SLICKBACK: Feel the burn.