1
00:00:01,468 --> 00:00:03,035
* I am the stone
The builder refused *
2
00:00:03,035 --> 00:00:04,501
* I am the visual
The inspiration *
3
00:00:04,501 --> 00:00:05,968
* That made lady
Sing the blues *
4
00:00:05,968 --> 00:00:07,835
* I'm the spark
That makes your idea bright *
5
00:00:07,835 --> 00:00:09,468
* The same spark
That lights the dark *
6
00:00:09,468 --> 00:00:11,201
* So that you can know
Left from right *
7
00:00:11,201 --> 00:00:13,434
* I am the ballot in your box
The bullet in the gun *
8
00:00:13,434 --> 00:00:14,935
* The inner glow
That lets you know *
9
00:00:14,935 --> 00:00:16,167
* To call your brother sun *
10
00:00:16,167 --> 00:00:17,468
* The story that just begun *
11
00:00:17,468 --> 00:00:18,835
* The promise
Of what's to come *
12
00:00:18,835 --> 00:00:20,035
* And I'm 'a remain a soldier *
13
00:00:20,035 --> 00:00:22,167
* Till the war is won
Won *
14
00:00:22,167 --> 00:00:24,601
* Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip *
15
00:00:24,601 --> 00:00:27,267
* Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip *
16
00:00:27,267 --> 00:00:29,868
* Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip *
17
00:00:29,868 --> 00:00:31,234
* Chop, chop, chop *
18
00:00:33,470 --> 00:00:36,170
[CHIRPING]
19
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:37,671
[GRUNTING]
20
00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:39,970
[***]
21
00:00:39,970 --> 00:00:41,103
Oh, no, look at this.
22
00:00:45,237 --> 00:00:48,370
[GRUNTING]
23
00:00:48,370 --> 00:00:50,404
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
24
00:00:50,404 --> 00:00:51,571
Nigga, what you want?
25
00:00:51,571 --> 00:00:53,404
I want you over my house
cutting my grass
26
00:00:53,404 --> 00:00:55,604
like you supposed to be!
Well, too bad for you,
27
00:00:55,604 --> 00:00:57,504
because I just took
another job.
28
00:00:57,504 --> 00:00:59,504
And even though
they don't pay hardly nothing,
29
00:00:59,504 --> 00:01:02,437
working for white folks
look way better on my résumé.
30
00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:04,103
Damn it, this is
the fourth week in a row
31
00:01:04,103 --> 00:01:06,170
you canceled on me.
The yard looks like a jungle.
32
00:01:06,170 --> 00:01:08,537
Well, Chim-Chim,
you three vine swingers
33
00:01:08,537 --> 00:01:09,803
should feel right at home.
34
00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:11,237
I'll be there
when the white man
35
00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:12,937
don't need me no more.
And let this be
36
00:01:12,937 --> 00:01:15,204
yet another reminder
that no matter
37
00:01:15,204 --> 00:01:19,037
how much money you got,
you still just a nigga.
38
00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:20,736
[YELLING]
39
00:01:20,736 --> 00:01:22,237
Ooh, I hate Ruckus!
40
00:01:22,237 --> 00:01:24,237
Huey, go change your clothes
and mow the lawn.
41
00:01:24,237 --> 00:01:25,903
Why do I always
have to cut the grass?
42
00:01:25,903 --> 00:01:27,571
[SNEEZING]
43
00:01:27,571 --> 00:01:29,237
I cannot stop sneezing.
44
00:01:29,237 --> 00:01:31,170
[SNEEZING]
Riley's got allergies.
45
00:01:34,571 --> 00:01:37,037
You just mad 'cause
you didn't think of it first.
46
00:01:37,037 --> 00:01:38,504
Ow!
47
00:01:38,504 --> 00:01:41,137
That didn't hurt, punk.
48
00:01:41,137 --> 00:01:42,504
[DOORBELL RINGS]
49
00:01:42,504 --> 00:01:43,736
Huey. Hurry up.
50
00:01:43,736 --> 00:01:45,103
And I don't want
to hear that old
51
00:01:45,103 --> 00:01:46,671
"I'm dying
of a heat stroke" excuse.
52
00:01:46,671 --> 00:01:49,870
You wanna cool down?
Cut your hair off.
53
00:01:49,870 --> 00:01:52,337
Good day and how are you this
beautiful morning, good sir?
54
00:01:52,337 --> 00:01:53,803
I'm visiting you
to make you aware
55
00:01:53,803 --> 00:01:55,571
of an exciting offer
I got in landscaping
56
00:01:55,571 --> 00:01:57,170
and home repair work
that has just...
57
00:01:57,170 --> 00:01:59,337
I'm talking about just touched
down in your area.
58
00:01:59,337 --> 00:02:00,970
Not interested.
W-w-wait.
59
00:02:00,970 --> 00:02:02,770
What exciting offer?
Let me ask you this:
60
00:02:02,770 --> 00:02:05,170
Are you really satisfied
with your current landscaping
61
00:02:05,170 --> 00:02:06,671
and home repair
service provider?
62
00:02:06,671 --> 00:02:08,237
No.
Yes, go away.
63
00:02:08,237 --> 00:02:10,370
That would be
a Mr. Uncle Ruckus, right?
64
00:02:10,370 --> 00:02:12,870
A portly dude, not very fond
of African-Americans?
65
00:02:12,870 --> 00:02:14,703
What if I could offer you
a better service
66
00:02:14,703 --> 00:02:16,037
with way lower prices
67
00:02:16,037 --> 00:02:17,703
with none of the racial
antagonism?
68
00:02:17,703 --> 00:02:19,604
How's that sounding to you?
How much?
69
00:02:19,604 --> 00:02:22,270
I'll have your shit looking
splendiferous for a wet dub.
70
00:02:22,270 --> 00:02:24,304
No.
Okay, I'll drop the price to 10.
71
00:02:24,304 --> 00:02:26,103
At this point
I ain't even making no money,
72
00:02:26,103 --> 00:02:27,671
I'm just doing this
for my back arms.
73
00:02:27,671 --> 00:02:29,836
I said no.
A cigarette and a cold glass
74
00:02:29,836 --> 00:02:31,703
of orange juice.
Go hustle somebody else.
75
00:02:31,703 --> 00:02:34,204
Check this out, Pops. Because
I want your good favor so bad,
76
00:02:34,204 --> 00:02:36,437
I went ahead and put in
a little work on the yard.
77
00:02:36,437 --> 00:02:37,703
You what?
78
00:02:37,703 --> 00:02:39,571
[***]
79
00:02:39,571 --> 00:02:41,537
MAN:
That's right.
Your boy cut the grass,
80
00:02:41,537 --> 00:02:43,703
manicured the little weed area,
and even did
81
00:02:43,703 --> 00:02:45,703
a little shrubbery art.
You planted flowers.
82
00:02:45,703 --> 00:02:47,637
You needed a little color
right there, man.
83
00:02:47,637 --> 00:02:49,003
It wasn't any thang.
84
00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:51,237
[BOTH GASPING]
85
00:02:51,237 --> 00:02:52,836
[***]
86
00:02:52,836 --> 00:02:54,903
Well, I'm impressed, young man.
87
00:02:54,903 --> 00:02:56,903
Very impressed.
Don't meet a lot of people
88
00:02:56,903 --> 00:02:59,003
who take pride
in their work nowadays.
89
00:02:59,003 --> 00:03:00,337
Sorry I was so rude earlier.
90
00:03:00,337 --> 00:03:02,204
You earned this.
91
00:03:02,204 --> 00:03:04,137
Yo, man, I... I was cool
with the orange juice.
92
00:03:04,137 --> 00:03:05,404
No, no, no. You take it.
93
00:03:05,404 --> 00:03:07,703
I really appreciate this,
Pops. Seriously.
94
00:03:07,703 --> 00:03:10,537
Matter of fact, man, let's go
look at some hos, on me.
95
00:03:10,537 --> 00:03:12,237
Huh?
Yeah. House of Cheeks
96
00:03:12,237 --> 00:03:13,703
with the bungalow
booty bitches.
97
00:03:13,703 --> 00:03:15,970
You know, they probably
just now cracking the doors.
98
00:03:15,970 --> 00:03:17,836
Beers is cold
and the bitches ain't sweaty.
99
00:03:17,836 --> 00:03:19,736
Come on, let's go and,
you know, see some ass.
100
00:03:19,736 --> 00:03:21,836
[POLICE SIREN WAILING]
101
00:03:21,836 --> 00:03:23,770
[HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING]
102
00:03:28,903 --> 00:03:30,470
Man, this is fun.
103
00:03:30,470 --> 00:03:32,270
It's been awhile
since I had someone to go
104
00:03:32,270 --> 00:03:34,370
to a strip club with.
So thanks.
105
00:03:34,370 --> 00:03:35,571
I didn't even get your name.
106
00:03:35,571 --> 00:03:37,637
Just call me Lando.
107
00:03:37,637 --> 00:03:40,170
Lando, you mean like
Lando Calrissian?
108
00:03:40,170 --> 00:03:42,170
Well, Lando's really
my daddy's name.
109
00:03:42,170 --> 00:03:43,604
Or that's what Moms
told a nigga,
110
00:03:43,604 --> 00:03:45,703
since I never knew him.
She met him right when
111
00:03:45,703 --> 00:03:47,437
The Empire Strikes Back
came out.
112
00:03:47,437 --> 00:03:49,404
You know,
people used to call me Lando.
113
00:03:49,404 --> 00:03:52,170
I remember that summer:
1980, Chicago.
114
00:03:52,170 --> 00:03:53,571
Best summer of my life.
115
00:03:53,571 --> 00:03:55,070
I knew it was gonna be my year.
116
00:03:55,070 --> 00:03:57,337
And boy I milked it
for all it was worth.
117
00:03:57,337 --> 00:03:59,836
Now, of course I wasn't
as smooth as Billy Dee,
118
00:03:59,836 --> 00:04:01,504
or good-looking
as Billy Dee,
119
00:04:01,504 --> 00:04:03,836
and I definitely didn't have
no Billy Dee money,
120
00:04:03,836 --> 00:04:05,836
but thank God some women
were so desperate
121
00:04:05,836 --> 00:04:09,637
they just didn't care.
122
00:04:09,637 --> 00:04:11,103
I remember this one gal.
123
00:04:11,103 --> 00:04:12,571
Her name was Marietta.
124
00:04:12,571 --> 00:04:14,604
Oh, she was hot.
It was like I was doing it
125
00:04:14,604 --> 00:04:17,137
with the same caliber of women
as Billy Dee himself.
126
00:04:17,137 --> 00:04:19,571
Moms was a big Billy Dee fan.
127
00:04:19,571 --> 00:04:21,870
In the day we would go see
Empire Strikes Back,
128
00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:23,504
and at night we'd have
some serious,
129
00:04:23,504 --> 00:04:25,803
no-holds barred freaky deaky
bareback action.
130
00:04:25,803 --> 00:04:26,803
Whoo!
For real?
131
00:04:26,803 --> 00:04:27,803
You have to understand,
132
00:04:27,803 --> 00:04:29,204
this was in the days before
AIDS.
133
00:04:29,204 --> 00:04:31,003
So there was no consequences
whatsoever.
134
00:04:31,003 --> 00:04:32,037
That's so funny.
135
00:04:32,037 --> 00:04:33,537
Moms used to say
the same thing.
136
00:04:33,537 --> 00:04:35,770
It was just like:
Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
137
00:04:35,770 --> 00:04:37,237
Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
138
00:04:37,237 --> 00:04:39,137
I always wondered
what happened to her.
139
00:04:39,137 --> 00:04:41,237
I guess I'll never know.
Gone for good.
140
00:04:41,237 --> 00:04:42,836
I will never,
ever in a million years
141
00:04:42,836 --> 00:04:44,003
know what happened to her.
142
00:04:44,003 --> 00:04:45,604
Oh, well.
143
00:04:45,604 --> 00:04:48,337
You know, my mom's name
was Marietta.
144
00:04:48,337 --> 00:04:49,903
Really. What a random,
145
00:04:49,903 --> 00:04:51,571
completely
unrelated coincidence
146
00:04:51,571 --> 00:04:52,970
that has nothing to do with me.
147
00:04:52,970 --> 00:04:55,604
Pops. I don't even know
how to say this, man,
148
00:04:55,604 --> 00:04:58,003
but I didn't come here
just to do your yard.
149
00:04:58,003 --> 00:04:59,703
Huh?
I came to Woodcrest
150
00:04:59,703 --> 00:05:01,003
because I think you're my dad.
151
00:05:01,003 --> 00:05:03,836
Yes, she does.
Really nice ones. Oh, yeah.
152
00:05:03,836 --> 00:05:04,937
Mm-hm.
No, no, I said
153
00:05:04,937 --> 00:05:06,337
I think you're my dad.
154
00:05:06,337 --> 00:05:08,537
Don't worry about the tab.
I got the next round.
155
00:05:08,537 --> 00:05:10,103
No, no, I said...
156
00:05:10,103 --> 00:05:11,504
[INAUDIBLE]
157
00:05:11,504 --> 00:05:13,870
Wait, wait, hold on.
Wait, hold on.
158
00:05:13,870 --> 00:05:16,070
I knew it. I knew you
were a scam artist the moment
159
00:05:16,070 --> 00:05:17,903
I laid eyes on you.
Pops, please, man.
160
00:05:17,903 --> 00:05:19,637
Please, man,
just give me a second.
161
00:05:19,637 --> 00:05:21,270
Shame on you trying to scam
an old man.
162
00:05:21,270 --> 00:05:24,204
Mowing his lawn, trimming his
shrubs, planting some color.
163
00:05:24,204 --> 00:05:26,270
I don't ever want
to see you around here again.
164
00:05:26,270 --> 00:05:27,770
Oh, come on, man.
[ENGINE STARTS]
165
00:05:27,770 --> 00:05:29,270
Pops, man, wait.
[TIRES SCREECH]
166
00:05:29,270 --> 00:05:31,204
Wait, Pop, Pop.
167
00:05:31,204 --> 00:05:33,437
You my ride!
168
00:05:33,437 --> 00:05:34,803
[***]
169
00:05:34,803 --> 00:05:37,170
Granddad, it's not like
you did anything wrong.
170
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,337
He's not my son.
I mean, you had no way to know.
171
00:05:39,337 --> 00:05:41,304
Did you hear what I just said?
He's not my son.
172
00:05:41,304 --> 00:05:42,504
And I don't ever want to hear
173
00:05:42,504 --> 00:05:44,037
the name Lando
in this house again.
174
00:05:44,037 --> 00:05:46,204
And no one is allowed
to watch Empire Strikes Back
175
00:05:46,204 --> 00:05:48,803
or The Return of the Jedi
ever again either.
176
00:05:48,803 --> 00:05:50,637
[***]
177
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:54,703
Hey, Pops.
178
00:05:56,237 --> 00:05:58,204
You. I told you
to get away from here.
179
00:05:58,204 --> 00:06:00,170
I tried to be nice.
Now I'm calling the police.
180
00:06:00,170 --> 00:06:01,970
You're trespassing
on private property.
181
00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:03,836
Hey, Pops, I'm not
stalking you or nothing,
182
00:06:03,836 --> 00:06:06,003
I'm just over here doing
some work for the DuBois'.
183
00:06:06,003 --> 00:06:08,937
Big Tom, big Tom.
What's the business, baby?
184
00:06:08,937 --> 00:06:11,370
Keep sending them dumbass
niggas to jail, big dude.
185
00:06:11,370 --> 00:06:13,637
They ham-ass know they shouldn't
have did that shit.
186
00:06:13,637 --> 00:06:16,003
Anyway, the hot water fixed
in the guest bathroom,
187
00:06:16,003 --> 00:06:18,337
so you all good.
The guests can drop a deuce,
188
00:06:18,337 --> 00:06:20,637
wash they booger hooks,
get fresh, disinfect.
189
00:06:20,637 --> 00:06:23,170
No prob. Know what I'm talking
about? Popping your collar.
190
00:06:23,170 --> 00:06:25,337
Oh, man, you are a godsend.
191
00:06:25,337 --> 00:06:27,504
Robert, I guess we have you
to thank for Lando, huh?
192
00:06:27,504 --> 00:06:29,770
What's that supposed to mean?
I didn't give him life,
193
00:06:29,770 --> 00:06:31,970
if that's what you're implying.
I told him you were
194
00:06:31,970 --> 00:06:33,637
the first one to give
a brother a chance
195
00:06:33,637 --> 00:06:34,836
to show what I can do.
196
00:06:34,836 --> 00:06:35,903
And don't worry, Lando,
197
00:06:35,903 --> 00:06:37,370
I'm gonna make some calls
as well.
198
00:06:37,370 --> 00:06:38,937
Hey, you know I gotta put
my folks on.
199
00:06:38,937 --> 00:06:40,170
You know how we do.
200
00:06:40,170 --> 00:06:42,070
[LAUGHS] Yeah.
201
00:06:42,070 --> 00:06:44,803
Where's this guy been
all our lives, huh?
202
00:06:44,803 --> 00:06:46,703
See you later.
203
00:06:46,703 --> 00:06:49,204
What is your game?
Blackmail? Extortion?
204
00:06:49,204 --> 00:06:50,571
What do you want from me?
205
00:06:50,571 --> 00:06:51,903
My mother left a journal.
206
00:06:51,903 --> 00:06:54,204
She said she got pregnant
by a man she loved very much,
207
00:06:54,204 --> 00:06:57,204
whose nickname was Lando.
And there was this.
208
00:06:57,204 --> 00:06:59,337
[GASPS]
209
00:06:59,337 --> 00:07:01,637
Man, I ain't come here
to steal nothing from you, man.
210
00:07:01,637 --> 00:07:03,504
I just wanted to find my pops
and tell him
211
00:07:03,504 --> 00:07:06,770
that I thank him for skeeting
that life into Moms, man.
212
00:07:06,770 --> 00:07:08,803
I just wanted to tell him
I love him very much,
213
00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:10,736
and I respect him
for everything he did, man.
214
00:07:10,736 --> 00:07:12,304
Get away from me.
You can't be my son.
215
00:07:12,304 --> 00:07:15,270
You too ugly to be my son.
Oh, okay. I-I get it.
216
00:07:15,270 --> 00:07:16,703
The problem ain't having a son,
217
00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:18,237
i-it's just having
me as a son, huh?
218
00:07:18,237 --> 00:07:19,736
I want you out of this
neighborhood
219
00:07:19,736 --> 00:07:22,137
and out of my life forever.
You got that?
220
00:07:22,137 --> 00:07:24,170
Everybody do things
on they own time.
221
00:07:24,170 --> 00:07:25,970
I ain't in no rush.
I ain't even tripping.
222
00:07:25,970 --> 00:07:28,470
Only thing is, I don't know
what your Casio looking like.
223
00:07:28,470 --> 00:07:30,703
But you know, whenever
you wanna holler at your boy,
224
00:07:30,703 --> 00:07:32,537
I'm right here, man,
posted like a lamp.
225
00:07:32,537 --> 00:07:35,470
I love you, Pops. I ain't never
gonna stop loving you.
226
00:07:35,470 --> 00:07:36,870
Never.
227
00:07:38,537 --> 00:07:40,803
GRANDDAD:
I'm sorry to stop by
on such short notice.
228
00:07:40,803 --> 00:07:42,504
I didn't really know
who else to turn to.
229
00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:44,270
Come on, Pops.
You know it ain't no thang,
230
00:07:44,270 --> 00:07:47,404
I'm here to help. So you need
a person, uh, removed?
231
00:07:47,404 --> 00:07:49,003
Yes.
You mean, like,
232
00:07:49,003 --> 00:07:50,237
removed from the Earth?
233
00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:52,304
No. I mean like removed
from the neighborhood.
234
00:07:52,304 --> 00:07:55,404
Oh-ho-ho, so you want him
kidnapped.
235
00:07:55,404 --> 00:07:57,137
Well, kinda.
Not really.
236
00:07:57,137 --> 00:07:59,304
Can't you just take him
someplace really far away
237
00:07:59,304 --> 00:08:01,237
like South America
or Africa or something?
238
00:08:01,237 --> 00:08:03,137
Well, you realize
that if you don't kill him
239
00:08:03,137 --> 00:08:05,304
there's nothing preventing him
from coming back.
240
00:08:05,304 --> 00:08:06,903
Well, if you took him
really far away,
241
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,770
he wouldn't have
enough money to come back.
242
00:08:08,770 --> 00:08:10,504
I don't know.
I just want him to go away.
243
00:08:10,504 --> 00:08:12,337
Okay, okay, okay, okay,
back up.
244
00:08:12,337 --> 00:08:13,770
Who we talking about?
245
00:08:13,770 --> 00:08:17,170
His name is Lando.
Oh, shit, Lando?
246
00:08:17,170 --> 00:08:18,637
The new handyman?
247
00:08:18,637 --> 00:08:22,770
Man, that motherfucker
is cold with that landscaping.
248
00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:24,537
What's your beef with him?
He's a con man
249
00:08:24,537 --> 00:08:26,337
pretending to be my son.
Oh, I see.
250
00:08:26,337 --> 00:08:29,003
But he ain't your son?
He is absolutely, positively,
251
00:08:29,003 --> 00:08:30,504
almost virtually certainly not.
252
00:08:30,504 --> 00:08:32,504
Shit, he seemed cool to me.
253
00:08:32,504 --> 00:08:35,003
You know how some people
you just like right off the bat?
254
00:08:35,003 --> 00:08:37,304
But yeah, shit, I say kill him.
255
00:08:37,304 --> 00:08:38,870
Kill him?
I don't wanna kill him.
256
00:08:38,870 --> 00:08:41,070
All right, all right,
the only other choice might be
257
00:08:41,070 --> 00:08:42,437
to get one of them DNA tests
258
00:08:42,437 --> 00:08:43,803
to prove you ain't the father.
259
00:08:43,803 --> 00:08:46,137
Really? Where do you get
one of those tests done?
260
00:08:46,137 --> 00:08:49,370
Oh, I know one place
that do it for free.
261
00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:51,571
MAN:
Coming up next,
262
00:08:51,571 --> 00:08:53,170
on The Steve Wilkos Show.
263
00:08:53,170 --> 00:08:55,504
I just wanna know
who my real father is.
264
00:08:55,504 --> 00:08:57,337
Moms always said
his nickname was Lando.
265
00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,170
Didn't you used to call
yourself Lando?
266
00:08:59,170 --> 00:09:00,870
Didn't you? Answer me!
Stand up!
267
00:09:00,870 --> 00:09:02,836
Don't even think
about sitting on my stage.
268
00:09:02,836 --> 00:09:04,736
Stand up!
But my knees hurt.
269
00:09:04,736 --> 00:09:06,404
Get your ass up.
270
00:09:06,404 --> 00:09:09,770
What kind of man
doesn't bother to see his kid
271
00:09:09,770 --> 00:09:12,370
for 30 years?
Thirty fucking years?
272
00:09:12,370 --> 00:09:14,637
B-But I didn't know...
You know what I wanna do?
273
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:18,103
I wanna beat
the living shit out of you!
274
00:09:18,103 --> 00:09:19,703
Whoa, easy there, big fella.
275
00:09:19,703 --> 00:09:21,504
I will not be easy on you!
276
00:09:21,504 --> 00:09:23,103
I fucking hate you!
277
00:09:23,103 --> 00:09:25,103
You make me wanna...
278
00:09:25,103 --> 00:09:26,370
[CHEERING]
279
00:09:26,370 --> 00:09:27,370
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
280
00:09:27,370 --> 00:09:30,337
Before the show
you took a DNA test.
281
00:09:30,337 --> 00:09:34,504
And the results
of the DNA test are...
282
00:09:34,504 --> 00:09:36,437
Robert is...
283
00:09:36,437 --> 00:09:38,504
[***]
284
00:09:40,744 --> 00:09:43,277
AUDIENCE [CHANTING]:
Steve. Steve.
Steve. Steve.
285
00:09:44,049 --> 00:09:45,850
Robert,
286
00:09:45,851 --> 00:09:47,183
you are the father.
287
00:09:47,183 --> 00:09:48,417
[ALL BOOING]
288
00:09:48,417 --> 00:09:50,150
You are the sack
from which I come.
289
00:09:50,150 --> 00:09:51,851
You are the sack from...
290
00:09:51,851 --> 00:09:54,050
That's the... That's the pair
that I came from.
291
00:09:54,049 --> 00:09:55,850
Look at them number one's
that I came from.
292
00:09:55,850 --> 00:09:57,349
I came out
that tube right there.
293
00:09:57,349 --> 00:09:59,182
Good-looking man.
Yes.
294
00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:01,182
How you feel now?
Deadbeat. Huh?
295
00:10:01,182 --> 00:10:02,883
Wait, I didn't know.
I... I...
296
00:10:02,883 --> 00:10:04,583
You finally gonna take
responsibility
297
00:10:04,583 --> 00:10:07,982
or are you gonna keep making
excuses, you pussy punk bitch?
298
00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:10,182
Hey, nigga, don't call my daddy
no pussy punk bitch.
299
00:10:10,182 --> 00:10:13,149
Look at him.
He is a pussy punk bitch.
300
00:10:13,149 --> 00:10:15,115
[AUDIENCE SHOUTING]
301
00:10:20,216 --> 00:10:21,916
RILEY:
I hate to say this, Granddad,
302
00:10:21,916 --> 00:10:23,616
but you did look like
a pussy punk bitch.
303
00:10:23,616 --> 00:10:25,416
You should have stuck
with your story.
304
00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:27,749
It was a DNA test.
Well, study next time.
305
00:10:27,749 --> 00:10:29,249
Ow!
Granddad,
306
00:10:29,249 --> 00:10:30,916
there's no use beating
yourself up.
307
00:10:30,916 --> 00:10:33,015
Yeah, Steve Wilkos
already did that.
308
00:10:33,015 --> 00:10:35,282
I can't believe
all this time, a son.
309
00:10:35,282 --> 00:10:36,883
A son named Lando.
310
00:10:36,883 --> 00:10:38,516
Granddad,
it's not all your fault.
311
00:10:38,516 --> 00:10:40,416
This doesn't make you
a horrible person.
312
00:10:40,416 --> 00:10:42,349
It's all
your fucking fault!
313
00:10:42,349 --> 00:10:44,382
You're a horrible
fucking person!
314
00:10:44,382 --> 00:10:48,249
Oh, why me?
Why did he do this to me?
315
00:10:48,249 --> 00:10:50,449
Granddad, it seems like
he just wants the chance
316
00:10:50,449 --> 00:10:52,816
to get to know his dad.
Which means you have to be a man
317
00:10:52,816 --> 00:10:53,883
and own up to this.
318
00:10:53,883 --> 00:10:55,416
You may not
owe him anything else,
319
00:10:55,416 --> 00:10:56,649
but you do owe him that.
320
00:10:56,649 --> 00:10:58,649
Man, I say be a real nigga
321
00:10:58,649 --> 00:10:59,916
and don't own up to nothing.
322
00:10:59,916 --> 00:11:01,416
You got it right
the first time.
323
00:11:01,416 --> 00:11:02,783
Pretend it never happened.
324
00:11:02,783 --> 00:11:04,115
Who cares about the show?
325
00:11:04,115 --> 00:11:06,316
Anybody asks, it ain't yours.
326
00:11:06,316 --> 00:11:07,850
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
327
00:11:07,850 --> 00:11:11,716
Congratulations, Daddy.
Oh, you must be so proud.
328
00:11:11,716 --> 00:11:15,649
A 198-pound bouncing baby
adult Negro.
329
00:11:15,649 --> 00:11:18,282
Boy, they grow up so fast...
330
00:11:18,282 --> 00:11:20,449
You know, Robert,
any boy can make a baby,
331
00:11:20,449 --> 00:11:22,182
but it takes a real man...
332
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,316
Shut the fuck up.
I'm sick of this shit.
333
00:11:24,316 --> 00:11:26,982
Hey, hey, don't blame me,
I said kill him.
334
00:11:26,982 --> 00:11:28,916
You also told me to go on
that stupid show.
335
00:11:28,916 --> 00:11:30,583
Hey, you ain't tell me
you was actually
336
00:11:30,583 --> 00:11:32,316
the man's daddy.
That's bad intel.
337
00:11:32,316 --> 00:11:34,249
I can't be held responsible
for no bad intel.
338
00:11:34,249 --> 00:11:35,516
I didn't know I was his daddy.
339
00:11:35,516 --> 00:11:37,483
Now everybody knows.
What am I supposed to do?
340
00:11:37,483 --> 00:11:40,082
Way I see it, you got
two options. Option one,
341
00:11:40,082 --> 00:11:42,316
which I don't recommend,
is to work it out.
342
00:11:42,316 --> 00:11:43,883
You don't recommend
working it out?
343
00:11:43,883 --> 00:11:45,249
No, but it's a option.
344
00:11:45,249 --> 00:11:46,549
You guys are both grown,
345
00:11:46,549 --> 00:11:49,149
you try to come to terms
with it. Get to know each other,
346
00:11:49,149 --> 00:11:51,349
make up for some lost time.
Now, I ain't saying
347
00:11:51,349 --> 00:11:53,015
it's gonna be a easy
adjustment,
348
00:11:53,015 --> 00:11:54,883
but, I mean, there's counseling,
therapy.
349
00:11:54,883 --> 00:11:56,616
This person could enrich
your life
350
00:11:56,616 --> 00:11:58,883
in ways you can't even imagine.
351
00:11:58,883 --> 00:12:00,549
Yeah, Huey said something
like that.
352
00:12:00,549 --> 00:12:02,382
But I never listen to him.
Now, I still say
353
00:12:02,382 --> 00:12:03,749
the smarter move is option two,
354
00:12:03,749 --> 00:12:05,716
which is just let me put two
in the back his head
355
00:12:05,716 --> 00:12:07,449
and be done with it.
Huh? No.
356
00:12:07,449 --> 00:12:09,449
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
don't worry about the fee.
357
00:12:09,449 --> 00:12:11,216
I ain't gonna rape you
on the price.
358
00:12:11,216 --> 00:12:12,683
You ain't got to worry
about that.
359
00:12:12,683 --> 00:12:14,416
No. I don't want you
to kill him.
360
00:12:14,416 --> 00:12:15,483
[SIGHS]
361
00:12:15,483 --> 00:12:16,850
Maybe I should
just work it out.
362
00:12:16,850 --> 00:12:18,916
Look, I can name at least
two or three instances
363
00:12:18,916 --> 00:12:20,916
in my life where I tried
to work out some shit
364
00:12:20,916 --> 00:12:22,950
by trying to find
some mutual understanding,
365
00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:25,082
and I can tell you
it's always faster
366
00:12:25,082 --> 00:12:27,816
and easier to just kill 'em.
It just is.
367
00:12:27,816 --> 00:12:29,316
I don't want you
to kill him. Damn.
368
00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:30,982
Don't know why
you keep bringing it up.
369
00:12:30,982 --> 00:12:32,216
All right, up to you,
370
00:12:32,216 --> 00:12:34,115
but I think you should keep
that option open.
371
00:12:34,115 --> 00:12:35,616
Matter of fact, Lando's outside
372
00:12:35,616 --> 00:12:38,015
doing some work on the shrubs,
I'll call him in right now.
373
00:12:38,015 --> 00:12:40,316
Just let me know what
you want to do. All right?
374
00:12:40,316 --> 00:12:41,549
Lando!
What?
375
00:12:41,549 --> 00:12:44,349
Lando's here?
No, wait.
376
00:12:44,349 --> 00:12:45,649
Pops, what's going on?
377
00:12:45,649 --> 00:12:47,249
He wanted to talk
to you, Lando.
378
00:12:47,249 --> 00:12:50,382
He wants to try to,
uh, work this out.
379
00:12:50,382 --> 00:12:52,216
Look, man, I'm sorry
about what happened
380
00:12:52,216 --> 00:12:53,683
on that show.
I mean, I didn't know
381
00:12:53,683 --> 00:12:55,583
that nigga Steve Wilkos
was a dick like that.
382
00:12:55,583 --> 00:12:57,382
I swear I don't need
nothing from you, man,
383
00:12:57,382 --> 00:12:58,683
except a chance to be, maybe,
384
00:12:58,683 --> 00:13:01,082
a small part of your life,
man. Just a small one.
385
00:13:01,082 --> 00:13:02,316
Thank you, Rummy, man.
386
00:13:02,316 --> 00:13:03,950
I appreciate you
giving of yourself
387
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,149
to help sort this thing out.
388
00:13:05,149 --> 00:13:06,216
Ain't no sweat, partner.
389
00:13:06,216 --> 00:13:07,649
You know I'm in your corner.
390
00:13:07,649 --> 00:13:09,516
So, what's it going
to be, Robert?
391
00:13:09,516 --> 00:13:11,015
Uh, option one or option two?
392
00:13:11,015 --> 00:13:12,416
Option one. Option one.
393
00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:14,483
Option one it is.
No, no, no, no, no.
394
00:13:14,483 --> 00:13:16,082
I said option one.
Okay.
395
00:13:16,082 --> 00:13:17,483
Well, which one was option one?
396
00:13:17,483 --> 00:13:19,549
What's option one?
Getting to know each other.
397
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:21,449
Yeah?
You sure that was option one?
398
00:13:21,449 --> 00:13:23,216
Yes. Let's spend
some time together,
399
00:13:23,216 --> 00:13:24,916
as a family.
Yeah, boy!
400
00:13:24,916 --> 00:13:26,483
That's what I'm talking about!
401
00:13:26,483 --> 00:13:28,850
That's what I've always...
Man, look, man, I swear, man,
402
00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:30,516
once you get to know a nigga
you'll find
403
00:13:30,516 --> 00:13:32,249
I ain't even that fucked up.
404
00:13:32,249 --> 00:13:34,282
Is you sure, Robert?
Yes, I'm sure!
405
00:13:34,282 --> 00:13:35,883
I'm sure too.
406
00:13:35,883 --> 00:13:38,549
Okay, then I've done my part.
It's up to y'all, now.
407
00:13:38,549 --> 00:13:40,349
Best of luck to you.
I love you, Dad.
408
00:13:42,349 --> 00:13:44,749
Boys, Lando is going to be
staying with us for awhile,
409
00:13:44,749 --> 00:13:47,783
because, supposedly,
it's the right thing to do.
410
00:13:47,783 --> 00:13:49,616
I just hope you boys
take this as a lesson
411
00:13:49,616 --> 00:13:51,282
that life can really
suck sometimes,
412
00:13:51,282 --> 00:13:52,850
and you should always
wear a condom.
413
00:13:52,850 --> 00:13:54,982
I got a condom on right now.
414
00:13:54,982 --> 00:13:57,249
This is it. You'll be sharing
this room with the boys.
415
00:13:57,249 --> 00:13:58,649
No favorites.
Ha-ha.
416
00:13:58,649 --> 00:14:00,916
Yeah. What up, roomies?
417
00:14:00,916 --> 00:14:02,950
Yeah, this my half of the room.
418
00:14:02,950 --> 00:14:05,049
And that, that's Huey's half
of the room.
419
00:14:05,049 --> 00:14:06,583
Well, where my half at?
420
00:14:06,583 --> 00:14:10,516
Your half is right there.
421
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,382
And just 'cause
you technically our uncle,
422
00:14:12,382 --> 00:14:13,649
you ain't ahead of me, nigga.
423
00:14:13,649 --> 00:14:15,916
As of right now,
you the youngest brother.
424
00:14:15,916 --> 00:14:19,416
Got that? I'm number two,
you number three, got it?
425
00:14:19,416 --> 00:14:20,982
Two nigga.
Three nigga.
426
00:14:22,416 --> 00:14:25,483
Say, man. I promise, man,
I'm gonna respect your space
427
00:14:25,483 --> 00:14:27,649
and I really, really,
appreciate, you know,
428
00:14:27,649 --> 00:14:29,749
just being here
part of the fam, man.
429
00:14:29,749 --> 00:14:32,316
I've been a part
of this family my whole life.
430
00:14:32,316 --> 00:14:35,015
It's an overrated experience.
431
00:14:35,015 --> 00:14:36,850
[***]
432
00:14:37,982 --> 00:14:39,416
[SNORING]
433
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:43,749
[MURMURING INDISTINCTLY]
434
00:14:45,216 --> 00:14:47,382
[GROANING]
435
00:14:47,382 --> 00:14:49,683
[SNORING CONTINUES]
436
00:14:52,216 --> 00:14:55,216
[YAWNING]
437
00:14:55,216 --> 00:14:57,282
[SPITS] Ah!
438
00:14:57,282 --> 00:15:00,216
Man, nigga had the trillest
dream last night.
439
00:15:00,216 --> 00:15:01,583
On the real,
it was like your boy
440
00:15:01,583 --> 00:15:03,483
had a job at this little
bunny ranch vineyard
441
00:15:03,483 --> 00:15:04,950
or some shit, man,
so all I could do
442
00:15:04,950 --> 00:15:07,049
was lick the ladies' feet
after they was finished
443
00:15:07,049 --> 00:15:09,449
stepping on the grapes and
the bitches was just loving...
444
00:15:09,449 --> 00:15:11,249
Look, I can't concentrate
with your thing
445
00:15:11,249 --> 00:15:13,416
flapping around like that.
Go put some clothes on.
446
00:15:13,416 --> 00:15:15,649
I'm not hungry no more.
Yeah, I'm done.
447
00:15:15,649 --> 00:15:17,883
Aw, come on, man,
why you all tripping?
448
00:15:17,883 --> 00:15:19,816
Morning wood ain't nothing
to be ashamed of.
449
00:15:19,816 --> 00:15:21,716
That's how you know
you alive, man.
450
00:15:21,716 --> 00:15:23,182
I fit to show you,
you all bitch.
451
00:15:23,182 --> 00:15:25,416
Let's go.
Junior varsity, nigga.
452
00:15:25,416 --> 00:15:28,249
Nigga. Young Barkley.
453
00:15:28,249 --> 00:15:30,749
LANDO: Shit.
RILEY: Punk.
454
00:15:30,749 --> 00:15:32,416
Hey. That's a foul.
455
00:15:32,416 --> 00:15:33,950
Man, that ain't no foul, nigga.
456
00:15:33,950 --> 00:15:35,416
That's playoff basketball.
457
00:15:35,416 --> 00:15:37,649
Yeah, basketball,
not football, bitch.
458
00:15:37,649 --> 00:15:38,649
Give me the ball.
459
00:15:40,249 --> 00:15:42,249
Man, just 'cause you
the two nigga
460
00:15:42,249 --> 00:15:44,316
don't mean you can treat me
any kinda way, nigga.
461
00:15:44,316 --> 00:15:46,349
Huey, you gonna let him
do me like this?
462
00:15:46,349 --> 00:15:48,549
It's family,
I'm staying out of it.
463
00:15:48,549 --> 00:15:49,883
[SCREAMS]
464
00:15:49,883 --> 00:15:51,816
[GRUNTING, GROANING]
465
00:15:55,049 --> 00:15:57,449
Huey, help your baby brother,
man. The nigga melting me.
466
00:15:57,449 --> 00:15:59,583
[BOTH SCREAMING]
467
00:16:01,883 --> 00:16:03,649
You guys seem a little
cramped in there.
468
00:16:03,649 --> 00:16:05,616
I'm thinking
about giving Lando his own room.
469
00:16:05,616 --> 00:16:06,716
That's not fair.
470
00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:08,549
Why does the three nigga
get his own room?
471
00:16:08,549 --> 00:16:10,249
You playing favorites,
Granddad.
472
00:16:10,249 --> 00:16:11,716
That's not true.
Oh, yeah?
473
00:16:11,716 --> 00:16:13,282
Lando gets to drink beer.
474
00:16:13,282 --> 00:16:15,249
Lando gets to smoke
with cigarettes.
475
00:16:15,249 --> 00:16:18,115
Why you love Lando
more than us, Granddad?
476
00:16:18,115 --> 00:16:20,249
Hey, hey, what's going on, fam?
477
00:16:20,249 --> 00:16:22,149
Lando, I'm afraid
we gonna have to,
478
00:16:22,149 --> 00:16:23,149
uh, make some changes.
479
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:24,683
From now on, no smoking.
480
00:16:24,683 --> 00:16:26,149
What?
And no more drinking.
481
00:16:26,149 --> 00:16:28,449
Not at home. You're setting
a bad example for the boys.
482
00:16:28,449 --> 00:16:30,216
Why don't you understand me
for a change?
483
00:16:30,216 --> 00:16:32,382
Why can't you accept me
for who the fuck I am?
484
00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:33,649
You can't control my life!
485
00:16:33,649 --> 00:16:36,049
I hate you! I never want
to see you again!
486
00:16:36,049 --> 00:16:38,049
I wish I was never your son!
487
00:16:41,316 --> 00:16:44,316
I'm sorry, Pops, I ain't
even mean that shit, man.
488
00:16:44,316 --> 00:16:45,982
It's just, my anger
got the best of me,
489
00:16:45,982 --> 00:16:47,982
and I'll do whatever
you say, man,
490
00:16:47,982 --> 00:16:49,982
from here on out, man.
It's... I need that.
491
00:16:49,982 --> 00:16:51,649
You know, I-I-I need
that discipline.
492
00:16:51,649 --> 00:16:53,316
That tough love, you know?
493
00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:55,015
Don't...
Don't spare the rod on me.
494
00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:56,783
Matter of fact, man,
I'm going upstairs
495
00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:58,616
and get ready for
my ass-whupping right now.
496
00:17:01,015 --> 00:17:03,616
[SIGHS]
497
00:17:03,616 --> 00:17:05,216
[***]
498
00:17:05,216 --> 00:17:06,316
Left side, nigga.
499
00:17:06,316 --> 00:17:08,216
Whatever.
What you gonna do, nigga?
500
00:17:08,216 --> 00:17:09,716
Just watch your ass, nigga.
Ball.
501
00:17:09,716 --> 00:17:12,916
Watch your ass. Nigga.
Ah!
502
00:17:12,916 --> 00:17:14,549
Ha! Game, bitch.
503
00:17:14,549 --> 00:17:16,649
Who's the number two
nigga now, nigga?
504
00:17:16,649 --> 00:17:17,783
Nigga, you 7 feet tall
505
00:17:17,783 --> 00:17:19,616
bragging about beating
a little kid.
506
00:17:19,616 --> 00:17:21,749
Your game is garbage.
And you cheat.
507
00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:23,316
That's how it's
a fair match, nigga.
508
00:17:23,316 --> 00:17:25,416
I'm 7 feet garbage,
and you 3 feet nice.
509
00:17:25,416 --> 00:17:27,982
All right, that's true.
New game, nigga.
510
00:17:27,982 --> 00:17:29,883
[***]
511
00:17:31,282 --> 00:17:33,316
RUCKUS:
Huh?
512
00:17:34,382 --> 00:17:35,583
Ah!
513
00:17:35,583 --> 00:17:37,516
Ah! Lando. Lando!
514
00:17:37,516 --> 00:17:38,916
[GROANING]
515
00:17:41,282 --> 00:17:43,883
[TIRES SCREECHING]
516
00:17:43,883 --> 00:17:47,249
You! You the one
been all over the neighborhood
517
00:17:47,249 --> 00:17:48,649
trying to undercut my business.
518
00:17:48,649 --> 00:17:50,483
You see this?
Take a good look at it.
519
00:17:50,483 --> 00:17:52,249
I tried to wipe my ass with it
520
00:17:52,249 --> 00:17:54,583
except it chafed my gentle
under region.
521
00:17:54,583 --> 00:17:56,749
You ever heard of free-market
principles, nigga?
522
00:17:56,749 --> 00:17:58,950
You can't have no motherfucking
handyman monopoly
523
00:17:58,950 --> 00:18:00,216
out this motherfucker.
524
00:18:00,216 --> 00:18:02,583
Whoa, look who brought
his no-appointment-keeping
525
00:18:02,583 --> 00:18:04,182
black white ass around here.
526
00:18:04,182 --> 00:18:07,282
Ah-ha. Ettu, Robert?
Et tu?
527
00:18:07,282 --> 00:18:09,950
Now, Robert, I know you mad,
but I never thought
528
00:18:09,950 --> 00:18:12,015
you would stoop this low.
Ah.
529
00:18:12,015 --> 00:18:14,216
Ruckus, that's enough.
This is your own fault.
530
00:18:14,216 --> 00:18:16,382
Lando is serious about
this landscaping business
531
00:18:16,382 --> 00:18:18,082
and I'm supporting him.
He's good at it,
532
00:18:18,082 --> 00:18:19,916
and I'm proud of him.
Pops, you mean that?
533
00:18:19,916 --> 00:18:21,349
I do, son.
534
00:18:21,349 --> 00:18:24,349
Fine. I hope you niggas
are happy with each other.
535
00:18:24,349 --> 00:18:25,883
Aw, Pops.
You don't even know
536
00:18:25,883 --> 00:18:27,449
what that meant to a nigga
right now.
537
00:18:27,449 --> 00:18:29,316
For the first time in my life,
I understand
538
00:18:29,316 --> 00:18:31,749
the true meaning of family...
And one more thing.
539
00:18:31,749 --> 00:18:34,282
George Lucas ruined
the Star Wars franchise
540
00:18:34,282 --> 00:18:36,316
the minute
that wavy-haired jigaboo
541
00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:38,649
stepped on screen
and put his monkey paws
542
00:18:38,649 --> 00:18:40,316
all over Princess Leia.
543
00:18:40,316 --> 00:18:41,583
[MOTOR ROARS]
544
00:18:41,583 --> 00:18:43,683
[***]
545
00:18:45,182 --> 00:18:47,483
Didn't I tell you?
Ha, Look at us.
546
00:18:47,483 --> 00:18:50,015
One big,
beautiful black family.
547
00:18:50,015 --> 00:18:51,416
Hm.
548
00:18:51,416 --> 00:18:52,916
I know you smiling
on the inside.
549
00:18:52,916 --> 00:18:54,982
I can tell, nigga.
I can tell.
550
00:18:54,982 --> 00:18:57,483
You can't bullshit
big baby brother, nigga.
551
00:18:57,483 --> 00:19:00,583
You just as gleeful
as a motherfucker, huh?
552
00:19:00,583 --> 00:19:02,015
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]
553
00:19:03,516 --> 00:19:05,749
Okay, gang,
food is just about ready.
554
00:19:05,749 --> 00:19:07,783
And turn that damn thing off.
You know how I feel
555
00:19:07,783 --> 00:19:09,683
about that Steve Wilkos show.
Okay, Pops,
556
00:19:09,683 --> 00:19:13,749
we fit to turn it off.
Hakeem, you are the father,
557
00:19:13,749 --> 00:19:15,216
and I hate
your fucking guts!
558
00:19:15,216 --> 00:19:16,982
Yes! Whoo-hoo!
559
00:19:19,449 --> 00:19:20,783
I cannot believe this.
560
00:19:20,783 --> 00:19:23,182
I knew it. I knew it.
561
00:19:23,182 --> 00:19:24,616
I knew he was the baby daddy.
562
00:19:24,616 --> 00:19:25,883
Man,
I-I knew that shit too.
563
00:19:25,883 --> 00:19:28,082
Wait, stop.
Freeze it.
564
00:19:28,082 --> 00:19:30,783
All right,
bring it back. There.
565
00:19:30,783 --> 00:19:34,783
"Producers reserve the right
to nullify, falsify,
566
00:19:34,783 --> 00:19:38,382
"reverse and/or otherwise
misrepresent results
567
00:19:38,382 --> 00:19:40,583
"of DNA paternity tests
to preserve
568
00:19:40,583 --> 00:19:41,916
the integrity
of the show."
569
00:19:41,916 --> 00:19:45,916
"Actual DNA test
results available on request."
570
00:19:45,916 --> 00:19:47,583
Huh?
Aw.
571
00:19:47,583 --> 00:19:50,316
Oh.
572
00:19:50,316 --> 00:19:52,583
[***]
573
00:19:52,583 --> 00:19:55,249
HUEY:
Hi, yeah, um,
we're calling about
574
00:19:55,249 --> 00:19:57,549
the DNA test
for Robert Freeman.
575
00:19:57,549 --> 00:20:00,082
Yeah, the "Near Death
Deadbeat" episode.
576
00:20:00,082 --> 00:20:03,049
Mm-hm. Okay.
Thanks.
577
00:20:04,816 --> 00:20:07,416
Granddad,
you're not the father.
578
00:20:07,416 --> 00:20:09,149
[SIGHS]
579
00:20:09,149 --> 00:20:10,649
Aw, man. For real?
580
00:20:10,649 --> 00:20:12,982
You mean we just did
all that bonding for nothing?
581
00:20:12,982 --> 00:20:15,282
No, i-it wasn't
for nothing.
582
00:20:15,282 --> 00:20:16,583
I mean...
Slow down, playboy.
583
00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:18,249
You don't have
to say nothing, really.
584
00:20:18,249 --> 00:20:20,249
Huey, Riley,
what can I say, man?
585
00:20:20,249 --> 00:20:23,382
Nigga really appreciate
y'all for opening your own home,
586
00:20:23,382 --> 00:20:25,683
but if we ain't family,
what we doing this for?
587
00:20:25,683 --> 00:20:28,749
I ain't gotta be sharing no room
with two little boys,
588
00:20:28,749 --> 00:20:32,015
I ain't know no King of Pop
shit. I'll just beat it.
589
00:20:32,015 --> 00:20:34,950
[***]
590
00:20:34,950 --> 00:20:36,616
[DOOR OPENS]
591
00:20:36,616 --> 00:20:38,182
So, what are you going
to do now, son?
592
00:20:38,182 --> 00:20:40,449
I mean, Lando?
Who knows?
593
00:20:40,449 --> 00:20:42,249
Maybe I'll find
that right lady, you know,
594
00:20:42,249 --> 00:20:45,182
start a family of my own.
This was kinda cool.
595
00:20:45,182 --> 00:20:47,483
All right,
you little niggas be easy.
596
00:20:47,483 --> 00:20:48,850
You listen to your granddaddy.
597
00:20:48,850 --> 00:20:50,416
You real lucky to have him.
598
00:20:59,349 --> 00:21:01,416
You all right?
Yeah. Whew.
599
00:21:01,416 --> 00:21:04,149
Glad that's over. I really
dodged a bullet there.
600
00:21:04,149 --> 00:21:05,649
He wasn't a bad guy, though.
601
00:21:05,649 --> 00:21:07,982
I hope he does find
his real daddy one day.
602
00:21:07,982 --> 00:21:09,916
[***]
603
00:21:12,649 --> 00:21:15,216
International star
and Colt 45 spokesperson
604
00:21:15,216 --> 00:21:16,316
Billy Dee Williams?
605
00:21:16,316 --> 00:21:18,649
Yes, you must be
Robert Freeman.
606
00:21:18,649 --> 00:21:21,316
I saw you on The Steve Wilkos
Show with Lando,
607
00:21:21,316 --> 00:21:24,115
but I'm afraid I've got
some pretty shocking news.
608
00:21:24,115 --> 00:21:25,249
He's not your son.
609
00:21:25,249 --> 00:21:26,583
We know that.
610
00:21:26,583 --> 00:21:27,850
How do you know that?
611
00:21:27,850 --> 00:21:29,916
Because he's my son.
612
00:21:29,916 --> 00:21:30,916
Your son?
What?
613
00:21:30,916 --> 00:21:32,416
You mean, you and Marietta...?
614
00:21:32,416 --> 00:21:34,182
Yes.
She sent me a letter,
615
00:21:34,182 --> 00:21:35,883
must have been right before
she passed.
616
00:21:35,883 --> 00:21:37,749
I've been trying to find him,
but I couldn't
617
00:21:37,749 --> 00:21:39,015
until I saw him on your show.
618
00:21:39,015 --> 00:21:40,182
Is he here?
619
00:21:40,182 --> 00:21:41,516
That way.
If you hurry
620
00:21:41,516 --> 00:21:44,416
you might catch him.
Thanks.
621
00:21:44,416 --> 00:21:46,516
[CAR ENGINE STARTS]
622
00:21:46,516 --> 00:21:50,015
Man, I wish I could be
related to Billy Dee Williams.
623
00:21:50,015 --> 00:21:52,349
He way cooler than you,
Granddad.
624
00:21:52,349 --> 00:21:54,349
Guess that's why he get
all the bitches first.
625
00:21:54,349 --> 00:21:58,216
GRANDDAD:
Boys, it's a great day
for yard work.
626
00:21:58,216 --> 00:22:00,149
[***]