1
00:00:01,438 --> 00:00:03,005
* I am the stone
The builder refused *
2
00:00:03,005 --> 00:00:04,471
* I am the visual
The inspiration *
3
00:00:04,471 --> 00:00:05,938
* That made lady
Sing the blues *
4
00:00:05,938 --> 00:00:07,805
* I'm the spark
That makes your idea bright *
5
00:00:07,805 --> 00:00:09,404
* The same spark
That lights the dark *
6
00:00:09,404 --> 00:00:11,005
* So that you can know
Left from right *
7
00:00:11,005 --> 00:00:13,204
* I am the ballot in your box
The bullet in the gun *
8
00:00:13,204 --> 00:00:14,705
* The inner glow
That lets you know *
9
00:00:14,705 --> 00:00:15,938
* To call your brother sun *
10
00:00:15,938 --> 00:00:17,237
* The story that just begun *
11
00:00:17,237 --> 00:00:18,605
* The promise
Of what's to come *
12
00:00:18,605 --> 00:00:19,805
* And I'm 'a remain a soldier *
13
00:00:19,805 --> 00:00:21,738
* Till the war is won
Won *
14
00:00:21,738 --> 00:00:24,371
* Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip *
15
00:00:24,371 --> 00:00:27,038
* Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip *
16
00:00:27,038 --> 00:00:29,638
* Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip *
17
00:00:29,638 --> 00:00:31,571
* Chop, chop, chop *
18
00:00:32,915 --> 00:00:35,149
REPORTER [ON TV]:
It's a scene normally reserved
19
00:00:35,149 --> 00:00:37,382
for major Hollywood
blockbusters.
20
00:00:37,382 --> 00:00:39,581
The faithful have been
lined up for days.
21
00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:41,316
Some arrived in costume.
22
00:00:41,316 --> 00:00:43,748
All for the love of chicken.
23
00:00:43,748 --> 00:00:45,249
[***]
24
00:00:45,249 --> 00:00:46,515
[HUEY GRUNTS]
25
00:00:48,249 --> 00:00:51,115
Okay, try it!
26
00:00:51,115 --> 00:00:52,115
[MACHINE BUZZES]
27
00:00:52,115 --> 00:00:54,282
[HUEY GRUNTS]
28
00:00:54,282 --> 00:00:55,748
JAZMINE:
Huey!
29
00:00:57,815 --> 00:01:00,581
TV ANNOUNCER:
Tomorrow, the fried chicken
event of a lifetime!
30
00:01:00,581 --> 00:01:03,082
One more herb.
One more spice.
31
00:01:03,082 --> 00:01:05,448
The new Kernel's Fried Chicken
New Original Recipe.
32
00:01:05,448 --> 00:01:07,515
Now with 13
herbs and sp...
33
00:01:07,515 --> 00:01:09,848
What the...?
I bet it's your brother.
34
00:01:09,848 --> 00:01:11,782
I knew I should have
abandoned him at the mall
35
00:01:11,782 --> 00:01:12,915
when I had the chance.
36
00:01:12,915 --> 00:01:13,982
Boy!
37
00:01:13,982 --> 00:01:15,382
What did I tell you?
Huh?
38
00:01:15,382 --> 00:01:16,782
I said you can do what you want
39
00:01:16,782 --> 00:01:19,249
with your survival thing
but don't mess with my TV!
40
00:01:19,249 --> 00:01:21,149
Every year it's a new disaster.
41
00:01:21,149 --> 00:01:22,949
Bird flu, swine flu,
42
00:01:22,949 --> 00:01:24,982
World War III,
killer astranoids,
43
00:01:24,982 --> 00:01:27,815
New World Order. What was it,
the Trisexual Commission?
44
00:01:27,815 --> 00:01:29,382
What the hell
is a trisexual anyway?
45
00:01:29,382 --> 00:01:30,515
Trilateral.
46
00:01:30,515 --> 00:01:32,682
I got a silly contraption
in my garage,
47
00:01:32,682 --> 00:01:34,316
a hundred gallons
of fucking water.
48
00:01:34,316 --> 00:01:36,316
I got more damn Cheerios
and canned green beans
49
00:01:36,316 --> 00:01:37,548
than I'm ever gonna eat!
50
00:01:37,548 --> 00:01:39,349
Granddad, I promise
you'll be thanking me
51
00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:41,715
when the crisis comes.
Where is the crisis, boy?
52
00:01:41,715 --> 00:01:42,715
Where's the disaster?
53
00:01:42,715 --> 00:01:44,215
Where's the return
on investment?
54
00:01:44,215 --> 00:01:46,416
All this damn money
for extra food and toilet paper.
55
00:01:46,416 --> 00:01:48,082
That's it. It's over.
I ain't spending
56
00:01:48,082 --> 00:01:49,848
another damn dime
on the end of the world.
57
00:01:49,848 --> 00:01:52,282
You on your own now. Boy, you
ready to go get some chicken?
58
00:01:52,282 --> 00:01:53,349
Yeah, yeah!
59
00:01:53,349 --> 00:01:54,615
You want fried chicken, baby?
60
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:56,015
Fried chicken is murder.
61
00:01:57,648 --> 00:01:59,515
Suit yourself.
Come on, let's go.
62
00:01:59,515 --> 00:02:00,581
[CHUCKLES]
63
00:02:00,581 --> 00:02:03,515
[GRANDDAD HUMMING] Yeah!
64
00:02:03,515 --> 00:02:05,082
What's that for anyway?
65
00:02:05,082 --> 00:02:06,715
It's a generator.
66
00:02:06,715 --> 00:02:08,782
What does it do?
Nothing right now.
67
00:02:08,782 --> 00:02:11,515
But if I can get it to work,
it could save our lives.
68
00:02:11,515 --> 00:02:13,282
So how bad is it gonna be?
69
00:02:13,282 --> 00:02:14,715
When the end
of the world comes?
70
00:02:14,715 --> 00:02:16,548
I don't know. But I got
it all worked out
71
00:02:16,548 --> 00:02:18,349
so the three of us
can survive in this house
72
00:02:18,349 --> 00:02:19,349
as long as possible.
73
00:02:19,349 --> 00:02:20,416
Three?
74
00:02:20,416 --> 00:02:22,215
Me, Riley and Granddad.
75
00:02:22,215 --> 00:02:23,581
What about everyone else?
76
00:02:23,581 --> 00:02:25,382
I can't save everyone else.
77
00:02:25,382 --> 00:02:27,848
If I tried, I'd just
end up saving nobody.
78
00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:30,515
What about me? Would you
let me stay here?
79
00:02:30,515 --> 00:02:32,382
You know, if things got bad?
80
00:02:32,382 --> 00:02:34,182
The plan is for three people.
81
00:02:34,182 --> 00:02:36,782
A fourth person and we could
run out of food or water...
82
00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:39,249
But I'm your friend. Can't you
make a plan for four people?
83
00:02:39,249 --> 00:02:41,149
[***]
84
00:02:41,149 --> 00:02:42,249
I guess.
85
00:02:42,249 --> 00:02:43,382
[SIGHS]
86
00:02:43,382 --> 00:02:45,349
I feel much better
about that now.
87
00:02:45,349 --> 00:02:47,682
You know, Huey, everybody says
you're a loony person,
88
00:02:47,682 --> 00:02:50,815
but I think one day you're gonna
be smarter than everybody.
89
00:02:54,082 --> 00:02:57,182
Man, this chicken
gonna be off the chain!
90
00:02:57,182 --> 00:03:00,416
* I can't wait I can't wait *
91
00:03:00,416 --> 00:03:02,448
* Mm, I'm gonna get
Some chicken *
92
00:03:02,448 --> 00:03:03,782
* I can't wait *
93
00:03:03,782 --> 00:03:05,782
See, you kids don't know
how lucky you have it.
94
00:03:05,782 --> 00:03:08,049
All my life we only had
11 herbs and spices.
95
00:03:08,049 --> 00:03:10,416
This is a whole new...
Oh.
96
00:03:10,416 --> 00:03:11,416
[TIRES SCREECH]
97
00:03:11,416 --> 00:03:12,748
Aah!
Aw, man...
98
00:03:12,748 --> 00:03:16,082
[***]
99
00:03:16,082 --> 00:03:18,049
[HORNS HONKING]
100
00:03:22,082 --> 00:03:23,349
[SIGHS]
101
00:03:23,349 --> 00:03:25,949
A two-piece special
with lots of hot sauce
102
00:03:25,949 --> 00:03:28,149
and all the fries
you can give me.
103
00:03:28,149 --> 00:03:30,715
Boy, wake up,
it's almost chicken time.
104
00:03:30,715 --> 00:03:33,049
What? I can't believe
what you telling me!
105
00:03:33,049 --> 00:03:35,548
Huh, what? No way!
No goddamn way!
106
00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:37,249
Hell, no!
What is it?
107
00:03:37,249 --> 00:03:39,416
Motherfuckers talking about
they out of chicken!
108
00:03:39,416 --> 00:03:40,949
What?
Listen! Listen!
109
00:03:40,949 --> 00:03:43,349
WOMAN [ON PA]:
Welcome to Kernel's
Fried Chicken.
110
00:03:43,349 --> 00:03:44,848
We are out of chicken
at the moment.
111
00:03:44,848 --> 00:03:46,782
Please go away until
we have more chicken.
112
00:03:46,782 --> 00:03:48,782
Thank you. God bless.
They ran out of chicken?
113
00:03:48,782 --> 00:03:51,349
Aw, man, this is
some old bullshit!
114
00:03:51,349 --> 00:03:53,949
No chicken? I ain't gonna
be able to get that bucket?
115
00:03:53,949 --> 00:03:55,548
How can they be out of chicken?
116
00:03:55,548 --> 00:03:57,448
It's Kernel's Fried Chicken!
117
00:03:57,448 --> 00:03:59,448
This is outrageous!
This is an outrage!
118
00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:01,149
Hello? 911?
119
00:04:01,149 --> 00:04:04,481
No, I ain't calling to snitch,
I got a real emergency.
120
00:04:04,481 --> 00:04:05,748
Yeah, I'll hold.
121
00:04:05,748 --> 00:04:07,815
Some of us have been
looking forward to this day
122
00:04:07,815 --> 00:04:09,915
for a long, long time.
123
00:04:09,915 --> 00:04:11,648
Hello? My emergency?
124
00:04:11,648 --> 00:04:13,882
These fools done
ran out of chicken.
125
00:04:13,882 --> 00:04:16,682
Welcome to Kernel's
Fried Chicken. Unfortunately...
126
00:04:16,682 --> 00:04:18,615
MAN:
I ain't leaving
this motherfucker
127
00:04:18,615 --> 00:04:19,848
until I get my chicken!
128
00:04:19,848 --> 00:04:21,748
I'm standing out here waiting!
129
00:04:21,748 --> 00:04:23,915
That's what they do.
Keep screwing the little man.
130
00:04:23,915 --> 00:04:25,515
They're not gonna
get away with this.
131
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:26,615
You right!
Hey, he right!
132
00:04:26,615 --> 00:04:27,949
It's time for us to fight back!
133
00:04:27,949 --> 00:04:29,615
Let's knock some
motherfuckers out.
134
00:04:29,615 --> 00:04:31,682
We are not gonna
take it anymore!
135
00:04:31,682 --> 00:04:34,382
[ENGINE STARTS]
136
00:04:34,382 --> 00:04:36,049
WOMAN: Huh?
[GROWLS]
137
00:04:36,049 --> 00:04:37,949
[CROWD SCREAMING]
138
00:04:40,515 --> 00:04:42,682
[ALL SHOUTING]
139
00:04:45,082 --> 00:04:47,748
Tonight,
civil unrest explodes
140
00:04:47,748 --> 00:04:49,715
in several major
American cities.
141
00:04:49,715 --> 00:04:51,782
There have been reports
of fires, looting,
142
00:04:51,782 --> 00:04:53,149
and violence
in the streets.
143
00:04:53,149 --> 00:04:57,015
All over a fast-food promotion
gone terribly wrong.
144
00:04:57,015 --> 00:05:00,282
As the first customers tasted
the new secret recipe,
145
00:05:00,282 --> 00:05:01,481
reviews were stellar.
146
00:05:01,481 --> 00:05:03,316
Yo, motherfucker!
This... Yo, nigga.
147
00:05:03,316 --> 00:05:04,416
This shit is bad as fuck.
148
00:05:04,416 --> 00:05:05,615
Put this shit
in your mouth.
149
00:05:05,615 --> 00:05:07,015
Eat that motherfucker!
Eat it!
150
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:10,149
But early on in the day there
were signs of trouble.
151
00:05:10,149 --> 00:05:13,715
Impatient crowds, drive-through
lines stretching for miles,
152
00:05:13,715 --> 00:05:16,149
scuffles between tired
and hungry customers.
153
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:17,581
How you gonna say
you got chicken
154
00:05:17,581 --> 00:05:18,949
and you ain't got
no chicken?
155
00:05:18,949 --> 00:05:21,548
You knew y'all was gonna
do this for a year!
156
00:05:21,548 --> 00:05:23,982
How am I supposed
to feed my family now?
157
00:05:23,982 --> 00:05:26,215
I want my [BLEEP] chicken!
158
00:05:26,215 --> 00:05:28,316
My babies want
their [BLEEP] chicken!
159
00:05:28,316 --> 00:05:29,448
[DOOR OPENS]
160
00:05:29,448 --> 00:05:31,481
I can't believe after
all that, no chicken!
161
00:05:31,481 --> 00:05:33,082
I always miss out
on the hot new thing.
162
00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:35,015
And now,
another crisis brewing,
163
00:05:35,015 --> 00:05:37,548
this one around
a mysterious virus
164
00:05:37,548 --> 00:05:39,581
that seems to have
appeared out of thin air
165
00:05:39,581 --> 00:05:41,548
and is spreading
like wildfire.
166
00:05:41,548 --> 00:05:43,748
Already there are
400 confirmed cases
167
00:05:43,748 --> 00:05:46,049
of the mystery virus
in all 50 states,
168
00:05:46,049 --> 00:05:48,448
and the CDC warns
it could spread
169
00:05:48,448 --> 00:05:51,149
to hundreds of thousands
by the end of the week.
170
00:05:51,149 --> 00:05:54,249
Personally, I'm scared
shitless, and for good reason.
171
00:05:54,249 --> 00:05:57,082
Where this virus came from
is anybody's guess.
172
00:05:57,082 --> 00:05:58,416
It's the chicken.
173
00:05:58,416 --> 00:05:59,448
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
174
00:05:59,448 --> 00:06:00,648
GRANDDAD:
Who is it?
175
00:06:00,648 --> 00:06:02,316
HUEY:
Have you eaten the chicken?
176
00:06:02,316 --> 00:06:04,915
Huh? Huey,
it's Tom and Jazmine.
177
00:06:04,915 --> 00:06:06,815
Have you eaten the chicken?
178
00:06:06,815 --> 00:06:08,249
Ha-ha. No.
179
00:06:08,249 --> 00:06:09,815
What?
180
00:06:09,815 --> 00:06:12,115
Huey, did you hear
about the mystery virus?
181
00:06:12,115 --> 00:06:14,049
Huey, you've got
Jazmine terrified
182
00:06:14,049 --> 00:06:15,915
about all of this
end of the world stuff.
183
00:06:15,915 --> 00:06:17,715
Tell him, Huey. Tell him
the end is coming.
184
00:06:17,715 --> 00:06:19,249
Look, if you guys wanna play
185
00:06:19,249 --> 00:06:21,815
your little make-believe
survival games that's fine.
186
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:26,349
But sweetie, I promise you,
the world is not going to end.
187
00:06:26,349 --> 00:06:27,882
Please, Daddy.
It's not safe.
188
00:06:27,882 --> 00:06:29,448
Honey, I have
to pick up your mother.
189
00:06:29,448 --> 00:06:31,149
Stay as long
as you want, have fun.
190
00:06:31,149 --> 00:06:32,648
Call me when you wanna
come home.
191
00:06:32,648 --> 00:06:33,848
No!
192
00:06:33,848 --> 00:06:35,448
He made his choice.
You in or out?
193
00:06:35,448 --> 00:06:37,182
[WHIMPERS]
194
00:06:39,015 --> 00:06:41,815
Nobody,
anywhere saw it coming.
195
00:06:41,815 --> 00:06:43,249
Oh!
It's being called
196
00:06:43,249 --> 00:06:44,682
the fried chicken flu.
197
00:06:44,682 --> 00:06:47,581
Thousands are sick, and CDC
officials confirmed today
198
00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:50,182
that the same fried chicken
responsible
199
00:06:50,182 --> 00:06:52,815
for a second day of riots
around the country
200
00:06:52,815 --> 00:06:54,915
is also responsible
for a pandemic
201
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:58,448
that experts are saying could
reach biblical proportions.
202
00:06:58,448 --> 00:07:00,416
I've never seen
any fucked up shit like...
203
00:07:00,416 --> 00:07:02,882
I gotta get out of here!
Get out of my fucking way!
204
00:07:02,882 --> 00:07:04,115
[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]
205
00:07:04,115 --> 00:07:06,015
[***]
206
00:07:06,015 --> 00:07:07,682
Oh, my God!
207
00:07:07,682 --> 00:07:09,515
Oh, man, this is terrible.
208
00:07:09,515 --> 00:07:12,015
Now we'll never get
to try that chicken.
209
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:14,382
ANCHORMAN:
Today the mayor of Louisville
ate chicken
210
00:07:14,382 --> 00:07:16,682
at a press conference
in a show of support.
211
00:07:16,682 --> 00:07:18,949
Seven hours later,
he was in a coma.
212
00:07:18,949 --> 00:07:21,848
Yet amazingly, people are
still eating chicken.
213
00:07:21,848 --> 00:07:23,515
Packing into
the few restaurants
214
00:07:23,515 --> 00:07:25,682
that still have
the golden bird in stock.
215
00:07:25,682 --> 00:07:29,215
Willing to risk life and limb
for a leg and a thigh.
216
00:07:29,215 --> 00:07:30,282
We're all gonna die!
217
00:07:30,282 --> 00:07:31,682
We're not going to die.
218
00:07:31,682 --> 00:07:33,382
No, she's right.
We're all gonna die!
219
00:07:33,382 --> 00:07:34,615
[CRYING]
220
00:07:34,615 --> 00:07:37,349
God, please, take
everybody else, but not me!
221
00:07:37,349 --> 00:07:39,282
We are not going to die.
222
00:07:39,282 --> 00:07:41,815
This is the day I've been
planning for my whole life.
223
00:07:41,815 --> 00:07:43,548
Here is the survival plan.
224
00:07:43,548 --> 00:07:45,648
It contains guidelines
for security,
225
00:07:45,648 --> 00:07:48,082
food and water rationing,
energy usage,
226
00:07:48,082 --> 00:07:50,382
communications,
et cetera, et cetera.
227
00:07:50,382 --> 00:07:52,548
What?
Nigga, what is this, homework?
228
00:07:52,548 --> 00:07:54,648
Everything you need to know
is in your packet.
229
00:07:54,648 --> 00:07:58,015
It's easy to understand,
and I used extra large type.
230
00:07:58,015 --> 00:07:59,848
Uh, I don't like
to read instructions.
231
00:07:59,848 --> 00:08:01,581
Yeah, and I don't like
to read period.
232
00:08:01,581 --> 00:08:02,682
Just give us the gist.
233
00:08:02,682 --> 00:08:04,581
No. You need
to read all of it.
234
00:08:04,581 --> 00:08:05,782
It's all important.
235
00:08:05,782 --> 00:08:07,748
Okay, but what's
the most important stuff?
236
00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:08,782
[SIGHS]
237
00:08:08,782 --> 00:08:10,282
I guess the most
important thing
238
00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:12,682
is that we keep quiet
about our emergency supplies,
239
00:08:12,682 --> 00:08:15,548
and we don't let anyone else
in the house no matter what.
240
00:08:15,548 --> 00:08:17,416
Fine. Agreed.
What about Mommy and Daddy?
241
00:08:17,416 --> 00:08:19,615
There's nothing we can do
for them. They're goners.
242
00:08:19,615 --> 00:08:21,182
Huey's right,
they're on their own.
243
00:08:21,182 --> 00:08:22,215
They gonna die.
244
00:08:22,215 --> 00:08:26,182
[CRYING]
245
00:08:26,182 --> 00:08:28,982
Hey, man, she gonna be crying
like this all the time?
246
00:08:28,982 --> 00:08:30,715
'Cause I say if she is
we kick her out.
247
00:08:30,715 --> 00:08:32,548
Shh!
Everybody shush! Shush!
248
00:08:32,548 --> 00:08:33,815
President Obama is talking.
249
00:08:33,815 --> 00:08:35,149
He's gonna tell us what to do.
250
00:08:35,149 --> 00:08:36,982
My fellow Americans.
Uh, good afternoon.
251
00:08:36,982 --> 00:08:39,282
I'd like to start off by
thanking all of you out there,
252
00:08:39,282 --> 00:08:41,082
uh, who have called
and written letters
253
00:08:41,082 --> 00:08:42,748
about the safety
of the First Family.
254
00:08:42,748 --> 00:08:44,282
You'll be happy to know
255
00:08:44,282 --> 00:08:47,215
that Michelle, Sasha, Malia,
myself and Bo are all fine.
256
00:08:47,215 --> 00:08:48,949
Don't nobody
care about you, man!
257
00:08:48,949 --> 00:08:50,815
Tell us everything
will be okay for us.
258
00:08:50,815 --> 00:08:52,382
Everything is going
to be okay...
259
00:08:52,382 --> 00:08:53,715
for us.
260
00:08:53,715 --> 00:08:55,782
We are currently
in our very own super-secret
261
00:08:55,782 --> 00:08:58,115
underground bunker
with enough food and water
262
00:08:58,115 --> 00:09:00,115
and entertainment to last
several lifetimes.
263
00:09:00,115 --> 00:09:02,481
But I'm here tonight
to talk about you.
264
00:09:02,481 --> 00:09:05,949
In times of crisis,
Americans pull together.
265
00:09:05,949 --> 00:09:08,416
And what's gonna get us
through this difficult time?
266
00:09:08,416 --> 00:09:09,949
Sharing.
Sharing?
267
00:09:09,949 --> 00:09:12,648
Lending a helping hand to a
neighbor in their hour of need.
268
00:09:12,648 --> 00:09:14,648
No. Fuck a neighbor.
What we need is a cure.
269
00:09:14,648 --> 00:09:17,748
Unfortunately, there is no cure
for the pandemic we now face.
270
00:09:17,748 --> 00:09:20,615
But we do have
an even more powerful weapon.
271
00:09:20,615 --> 00:09:22,448
Compassion
for our fellow man.
272
00:09:22,448 --> 00:09:24,782
No! Fuck compassion
for our fellow man!
273
00:09:24,782 --> 00:09:26,349
In conclusion I want to say
274
00:09:26,349 --> 00:09:28,382
that we are all in
for some tough times ahead.
275
00:09:28,382 --> 00:09:31,748
And when I say we,
I mean you.
276
00:09:31,748 --> 00:09:35,581
But Michelle, Sasha, Malia,
myself and Bo
277
00:09:35,581 --> 00:09:38,548
are gonna be right here,
rooting for you all the way.
278
00:09:38,548 --> 00:09:41,082
Good night,
and God bless you.
279
00:09:41,082 --> 00:09:44,349
And may God bless
the United States of America.
280
00:09:44,349 --> 00:09:47,682
We all gonna die!
281
00:09:47,682 --> 00:09:50,015
[BOTH CRY]
282
00:09:50,015 --> 00:09:52,782
We all gonna die!
283
00:09:53,190 --> 00:09:54,357
[BLENDER WHIRRING]
284
00:09:55,404 --> 00:09:56,504
Hey, good morning, Huey.
285
00:09:56,504 --> 00:09:57,704
You want some breakfast?
286
00:09:57,704 --> 00:09:59,437
[SIGHS]
287
00:09:59,437 --> 00:10:01,604
Granddad, what's going on?
288
00:10:01,604 --> 00:10:02,671
Just a little breakfast.
289
00:10:02,671 --> 00:10:04,070
Oh, by the way, this is Tina.
290
00:10:04,070 --> 00:10:07,904
She's gonna be staying here
until the crisis blows over.
291
00:10:07,904 --> 00:10:11,137
Granddad, the plan was
for four people.
292
00:10:11,137 --> 00:10:12,504
How come you get
to have a friend
293
00:10:12,504 --> 00:10:13,604
and I can't have a friend?
294
00:10:13,604 --> 00:10:15,370
It's not a slumber party,
Granddad.
295
00:10:15,370 --> 00:10:17,137
I planned
on Jazmine being here.
296
00:10:17,137 --> 00:10:18,537
I didn't plan for anyone else.
297
00:10:18,537 --> 00:10:20,170
Well, your plan sucked.
298
00:10:20,170 --> 00:10:22,737
You think the world's gonna end
and I'm gonna be trapped here
299
00:10:22,737 --> 00:10:24,537
looking at y'all
sweaty-necked Negroes?
300
00:10:24,537 --> 00:10:26,103
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Ew! I'll get it.
301
00:10:26,103 --> 00:10:29,537
Granddad, wait! Granddad,
the emergency plan says
302
00:10:29,537 --> 00:10:31,038
we don't open the front door
303
00:10:31,038 --> 00:10:33,537
until we know the identity
of the person outside
304
00:10:33,537 --> 00:10:35,370
and can confirm
they don't have...
305
00:10:35,370 --> 00:10:37,038
What do you want?
306
00:10:37,038 --> 00:10:38,404
Hey, uh,
Riley told me y'all had
307
00:10:38,404 --> 00:10:40,203
a fly little emergency setup
over here and
308
00:10:40,203 --> 00:10:42,103
to be honest a nigga
was kinda wondering
309
00:10:42,103 --> 00:10:43,904
if he could hold it down
for little while.
310
00:10:43,904 --> 00:10:45,370
Ha-ha!
What up, Thugnificent?
311
00:10:45,370 --> 00:10:47,038
Granddad, can he
stay with us too?
312
00:10:47,038 --> 00:10:48,671
No!
Why should I help him?
313
00:10:48,671 --> 00:10:50,370
Look, old nigga,
this fried chicken flu
314
00:10:50,370 --> 00:10:51,504
is kinda scaring a nigga.
315
00:10:51,504 --> 00:10:53,137
Motherfucker is wiling
out and shit.
316
00:10:53,137 --> 00:10:55,137
I don't know shit about
survival. I'm a rapper.
317
00:10:55,137 --> 00:10:57,038
No!
Nope. Sorry.
318
00:10:57,038 --> 00:10:58,771
That's a cold situation.
319
00:10:58,771 --> 00:11:01,337
Both of y'all get friends
and I can't have a friend?
320
00:11:01,337 --> 00:11:03,470
He does have a point.
I don't play favorites.
321
00:11:03,470 --> 00:11:05,437
Don't think I came here
empty-handed either.
322
00:11:05,437 --> 00:11:06,637
Ain't nothing thugnificent
323
00:11:06,637 --> 00:11:08,337
about being a freeloader,
you smell me?
324
00:11:08,337 --> 00:11:09,437
Leonard!
325
00:11:09,437 --> 00:11:11,237
Yo, anybody hungry?
326
00:11:11,237 --> 00:11:13,137
I got the whole menu right here.
Mm-hm.
327
00:11:13,137 --> 00:11:14,437
Minus the chicken, of course.
328
00:11:14,437 --> 00:11:15,571
Check it out.
329
00:11:15,571 --> 00:11:17,337
We got singles,
doubles, bacon doubles,
330
00:11:17,337 --> 00:11:19,537
double bacons with a little
bit of meat on it, fries,
331
00:11:19,537 --> 00:11:21,070
Frostys,
some chili-cheese.
332
00:11:21,070 --> 00:11:23,504
I wouldn't touch that, though.
I taste it on the way here.
333
00:11:23,504 --> 00:11:25,404
I ate all the chili-cheese,
that's why I said
334
00:11:25,404 --> 00:11:27,404
don't taste it, but who wants
some other stuff?
335
00:11:27,404 --> 00:11:29,938
Granddad, this is
not in the plan.
336
00:11:29,938 --> 00:11:32,470
Well, according to the plan
all we got to eat
337
00:11:32,470 --> 00:11:35,737
is Cheerios and green beans
so once again your plan sucks.
338
00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:37,038
You got a bacon cheeseburger?
339
00:11:37,038 --> 00:11:38,404
Here you go,
Mr. Freeman.
340
00:11:38,404 --> 00:11:40,103
Thank you kindly.
[LAUGHS]
341
00:11:40,103 --> 00:11:41,604
Where my room at, nigga?
342
00:11:41,604 --> 00:11:44,004
Now again, we don't
want anyone to panic,
343
00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:45,270
but let's look at some
344
00:11:45,270 --> 00:11:47,504
of the projected
casualty rates by state.
345
00:11:47,504 --> 00:11:48,671
Let's start
with New York,
346
00:11:48,671 --> 00:11:51,004
projected million
and a half dead.
347
00:11:51,004 --> 00:11:53,437
Maryland,
300,000 dead.
348
00:11:53,437 --> 00:11:57,170
Florida, a million and a half
projected to push up daisies.
349
00:11:57,170 --> 00:12:00,203
And now certain fears
that the virus may have
350
00:12:00,203 --> 00:12:03,237
jumped franchises and may
be infecting chickens
351
00:12:03,237 --> 00:12:06,904
from Bluto's, Temples Chicken,
even Chick-le-fai.
352
00:12:06,904 --> 00:12:08,804
Damn, everybody's
catching this shit, man!
353
00:12:08,804 --> 00:12:10,304
That must be some
good ass chicken!
354
00:12:10,304 --> 00:12:11,904
The real tragedy is
355
00:12:11,904 --> 00:12:15,103
that we may never ever get
to eat fried chicken again.
356
00:12:15,103 --> 00:12:16,771
[DOORBELL RINGS]
357
00:12:16,771 --> 00:12:18,604
[THROUGH MONITOR]
Robert? Huey?
358
00:12:18,604 --> 00:12:20,070
Anyone home?
359
00:12:20,070 --> 00:12:21,070
Say no.
360
00:12:21,070 --> 00:12:22,370
Hey!
Mommy and Daddy!
361
00:12:22,370 --> 00:12:24,304
What do you want?
This...
362
00:12:24,304 --> 00:12:26,437
[VOICE DISTORTED]
...is a restricted area.
363
00:12:26,437 --> 00:12:28,604
Hey, uh, it's us.
364
00:12:28,604 --> 00:12:30,637
We're just checking
on Jazmine, and, um,
365
00:12:30,637 --> 00:12:32,304
wondering if it was
too late to...
366
00:12:32,304 --> 00:12:34,537
Is Huey home? Can we just
talk to Huey, or Robert?
367
00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:36,837
HUEY:
This is Huey.
368
00:12:36,837 --> 00:12:39,537
Huey, let us in.
I can't.
369
00:12:39,537 --> 00:12:41,837
JAZMINE:
That's not fair!
You let everyone else in!
370
00:12:41,837 --> 00:12:43,470
GRANDDAD:
They're on their own.
371
00:12:43,470 --> 00:12:45,437
We don't have enough food
for two more people.
372
00:12:45,437 --> 00:12:46,904
What about
what Leonard brought?
373
00:12:46,904 --> 00:12:48,170
No way, that's for us.
374
00:12:48,170 --> 00:12:50,370
Guys, it's us!
Tom and Sarah!
375
00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:52,137
We are your neighbors
and dear friends.
376
00:12:52,137 --> 00:12:54,437
We've had so many hilarious
adventures together.
377
00:12:54,437 --> 00:12:55,771
Come on.
378
00:12:55,771 --> 00:12:57,671
You're really gonna leave us
out here to die?
379
00:12:57,671 --> 00:13:00,137
SARAH: Oh, come on!
[WHISPERS] We should let them in
380
00:13:00,137 --> 00:13:01,637
because Jazmine
will start crying
381
00:13:01,637 --> 00:13:03,137
and we'll never get
her to shut up.
382
00:13:03,137 --> 00:13:05,304
Okay, I guess.
Step closer to the camera.
383
00:13:06,938 --> 00:13:08,871
[BEEPING]
384
00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:10,504
They can come in.
Really?
385
00:13:10,504 --> 00:13:12,170
Thank you, Huey!
Thank you, thank you!
386
00:13:12,170 --> 00:13:13,771
They're not allowed
to eat anything.
387
00:13:13,771 --> 00:13:14,837
Works for me.
388
00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:16,637
[WHIMPERS]
389
00:13:16,637 --> 00:13:19,470
[***]
390
00:13:19,470 --> 00:13:20,737
[SLURPS]
391
00:13:23,137 --> 00:13:25,604
LEONARD:
I like it when the
burger is stuck in my teeth,
392
00:13:25,604 --> 00:13:26,871
I can get it out
and eat it too.
393
00:13:26,871 --> 00:13:28,237
[SIGHS]
394
00:13:28,237 --> 00:13:29,637
Nine people.
395
00:13:29,637 --> 00:13:31,804
We don't have anywhere
near enough food and water.
396
00:13:31,804 --> 00:13:34,470
I agree. There are way
too many darkies in this house.
397
00:13:34,470 --> 00:13:36,404
Ruckus?
What are you doing here?
398
00:13:36,404 --> 00:13:38,203
Oh, funniest thing happened.
399
00:13:38,203 --> 00:13:40,404
I was in the attic replacing
some of that insulation
400
00:13:40,404 --> 00:13:41,671
like you asked me to, Robert.
401
00:13:41,671 --> 00:13:43,470
Then it was like some
kind of explosion,
402
00:13:43,470 --> 00:13:45,270
then it went black
and I hit my noggin.
403
00:13:45,270 --> 00:13:47,137
I just woke up
like five minutes ago.
404
00:13:47,137 --> 00:13:48,604
You've been here
this whole time?
405
00:13:48,604 --> 00:13:49,804
Yeah, but don't you worry.
406
00:13:49,804 --> 00:13:52,237
Old Uncle Ruckus is fine,
I'm just fine.
407
00:13:52,237 --> 00:13:54,103
Oh, I noticed
the president was on TV.
408
00:13:54,103 --> 00:13:56,537
What was that well-dressed
nigga talking about?
409
00:13:56,537 --> 00:13:57,938
GRANDDAD:
Get the hell out!
410
00:13:57,938 --> 00:13:59,837
Please don't send me out there!
Come on, go!
411
00:13:59,837 --> 00:14:01,671
I don't want the chicken flu!
412
00:14:01,671 --> 00:14:03,637
Lord, I'm too young to die!
413
00:14:03,637 --> 00:14:06,904
Please, I swear I'll never say
anything about darkies again!
414
00:14:06,904 --> 00:14:08,737
No. Get your fat ass
out of here!
415
00:14:08,737 --> 00:14:10,270
[GRUNTS]
416
00:14:10,270 --> 00:14:12,070
GRANDDAD:
Here, have a gas mask.
417
00:14:12,070 --> 00:14:14,404
[RILEY LAUGHS]
418
00:14:14,404 --> 00:14:16,904
Asian stocks posted their
biggest single-day decline
419
00:14:16,904 --> 00:14:19,270
in history because of the
fried chicken flu outbreak...
420
00:14:19,270 --> 00:14:21,270
The government in
Pakistan collapsed today
421
00:14:21,270 --> 00:14:23,871
as a result of the fried
chicken flu pandemic...
422
00:14:23,871 --> 00:14:26,170
Authorities say fried chicken
flu is responsible
423
00:14:26,170 --> 00:14:28,871
for the tsunami that hit the
coast of Vietnam this morning...
424
00:14:28,871 --> 00:14:31,704
With everyone either sick
or afraid of getting sick,
425
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:34,571
the nation has come
to a complete standstill.
426
00:14:34,571 --> 00:14:37,370
Hospitals are overwhelmed,
as are all basic services.
427
00:14:37,370 --> 00:14:39,904
Power, water, cell phones,
and Internet service provi...
428
00:14:39,904 --> 00:14:41,537
What? What's that?
429
00:14:41,537 --> 00:14:44,704
We're going live to yet another
address from President Obama.
430
00:14:44,704 --> 00:14:47,304
Good evening.
My fellow Americans,
431
00:14:47,304 --> 00:14:49,404
I want you to know
in this time of crisis
432
00:14:49,404 --> 00:14:52,504
I am personally doing
everything I can to help you
433
00:14:52,504 --> 00:14:55,203
and by everything I mean
sitting here
434
00:14:55,203 --> 00:14:58,270
and talking to you
in a calm, soothing voice.
435
00:14:58,270 --> 00:15:00,671
And as long as you
can hear my voice,
436
00:15:00,671 --> 00:15:02,737
everything is going
to be just fine...
437
00:15:03,904 --> 00:15:06,203
Oh, no!
Oh, man!
438
00:15:06,203 --> 00:15:08,771
All that work.
All that planning.
439
00:15:08,771 --> 00:15:10,103
Why did I even try?
440
00:15:10,103 --> 00:15:12,103
Because you're different
from everyone else.
441
00:15:12,103 --> 00:15:14,203
Okay, try it.
442
00:15:14,203 --> 00:15:16,604
[GENERATOR WHIRRING]
443
00:15:16,604 --> 00:15:18,470
[GASPS]
444
00:15:18,470 --> 00:15:19,904
I knew you could do it.
445
00:15:19,904 --> 00:15:22,170
[SIGHS]
446
00:15:22,170 --> 00:15:23,671
Oh!
447
00:15:23,671 --> 00:15:26,070
[***]
448
00:15:30,337 --> 00:15:33,103
Guys, wait! You're gonna
use up all the power.
449
00:15:33,103 --> 00:15:34,203
What, boy?
450
00:15:34,203 --> 00:15:36,270
You're gonna use up
all the power!
451
00:15:36,270 --> 00:15:38,971
I can't hear you! We have
too much electronic equipment
452
00:15:38,971 --> 00:15:40,671
running at the same time!
453
00:15:40,671 --> 00:15:42,737
I'm scared of the dark!
Damn!
454
00:15:42,737 --> 00:15:45,737
[***]
455
00:15:45,737 --> 00:15:47,203
[GROANS]
456
00:15:48,871 --> 00:15:51,304
[SIGHS]
457
00:15:51,304 --> 00:15:52,871
How long we gotta be
up in here?
458
00:15:52,871 --> 00:15:54,304
It's been like a week
and a half,
459
00:15:54,304 --> 00:15:55,971
it's getting a little old,
all right?
460
00:15:55,971 --> 00:15:57,437
No one's forcing you
to stay here.
461
00:15:57,437 --> 00:16:00,004
I get it, you want me to leave
and get the fried chicken flu?
462
00:16:00,004 --> 00:16:02,038
Is that it? You trying
to kill a nigga, nigga?
463
00:16:02,038 --> 00:16:03,437
WOMAN [ON PA]:
Robert Freeman!
464
00:16:03,437 --> 00:16:06,737
This is the Woodcrest Fried
Chicken Flu Militia.
465
00:16:06,737 --> 00:16:08,971
We demand to speak with you
at once.
466
00:16:08,971 --> 00:16:13,038
We understand you are
hoarding emergency supplies.
467
00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:16,304
This is a serious offense
in a time of crisis.
468
00:16:16,304 --> 00:16:17,771
You tell them,
Ms. Von Hausen.
469
00:16:17,771 --> 00:16:19,771
They got all types
of goodies up in there.
470
00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:23,103
They got green beans and
Cheerios, and drinkable water.
471
00:16:23,103 --> 00:16:25,004
Even a device
that lets you pee in a cup
472
00:16:25,004 --> 00:16:26,470
and drink it
right back in again.
473
00:16:26,470 --> 00:16:28,404
Still tastes like pee,
but you get the idea.
474
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:31,337
The Woodcrest
Fried Chicken Flu Militia
475
00:16:31,337 --> 00:16:35,904
will enforce the law
until order is reestablished.
476
00:16:35,904 --> 00:16:38,904
We demand that you let us in
to inspect your house.
477
00:16:38,904 --> 00:16:40,304
Huh?
478
00:16:40,304 --> 00:16:42,203
HUEY [VOICE DISTORTED]:
No.
479
00:16:42,203 --> 00:16:44,504
I insist, Mr. Freeman!
480
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:46,137
Let us in at once!
481
00:16:46,137 --> 00:16:47,203
Let me try.
482
00:16:47,203 --> 00:16:50,203
Get the fuck on!
483
00:16:50,203 --> 00:16:51,637
Mr. Freeman!
484
00:16:51,637 --> 00:16:53,737
We are not leaving
until you allow us in.
485
00:16:53,737 --> 00:16:55,737
That bitch must have
lost her mind.
486
00:16:55,737 --> 00:16:57,904
We gotta do something.
What should we do?
487
00:16:57,904 --> 00:16:59,137
It's in the plan.
488
00:16:59,137 --> 00:17:00,737
Did anyone read the plan?
489
00:17:00,737 --> 00:17:03,671
[ALL MURMURING]
490
00:17:03,671 --> 00:17:04,737
I did!
491
00:17:04,737 --> 00:17:06,571
Hm. Homemade
tear gas.
492
00:17:06,571 --> 00:17:08,571
Homemade teargas.
That's an idea.
493
00:17:08,571 --> 00:17:09,637
Uh-uh.
Yeah, that's it.
494
00:17:09,637 --> 00:17:10,804
That's the ideal response.
495
00:17:10,804 --> 00:17:12,004
That'll solve our problems.
496
00:17:12,004 --> 00:17:13,938
[***]
497
00:17:16,904 --> 00:17:19,170
Hey, old woman!
Suck on this!
498
00:17:19,170 --> 00:17:21,004
That's right!
Eat an old dick, old bitch!
499
00:17:21,004 --> 00:17:22,571
[GASPS]
500
00:17:22,571 --> 00:17:23,871
Fall back, faggots!
501
00:17:23,871 --> 00:17:26,103
Now, Riley, there's no need
to be homophobic.
502
00:17:26,103 --> 00:17:27,571
Eat it, you pussy punk bitches!
503
00:17:27,571 --> 00:17:28,871
[CROWD YELLING]
504
00:17:28,871 --> 00:17:31,904
The terrorists are using
chemical weapons! Retreat!
505
00:17:31,904 --> 00:17:34,170
[ALL SHOUTING]
506
00:17:37,470 --> 00:17:40,237
Yay!
507
00:17:40,237 --> 00:17:42,337
How do you know if someone
has fried chicken flu?
508
00:17:42,337 --> 00:17:44,604
Well, it normally starts
with a temperature,
509
00:17:44,604 --> 00:17:46,203
and excessive sweatiness.
510
00:17:46,203 --> 00:17:48,203
After that,
tremendous stomach pain.
511
00:17:48,203 --> 00:17:49,203
[GROANS]
512
00:17:49,203 --> 00:17:50,938
Headache.
Loss of balance.
513
00:17:50,938 --> 00:17:52,737
As mucus builds up,
they will begin
514
00:17:52,737 --> 00:17:55,038
to have an incredible
amount of snot.
515
00:17:55,038 --> 00:17:57,904
Soon after that, the inevitable
projectile vomiting.
516
00:17:59,237 --> 00:18:00,270
[SCREAMS]
517
00:18:03,337 --> 00:18:04,437
TOM:
Oh, God!
518
00:18:04,437 --> 00:18:07,304
Okay, stay calm, stay calm. Oh.
519
00:18:07,304 --> 00:18:09,304
Tom, Tom.
520
00:18:09,304 --> 00:18:10,571
Can you hear me?
521
00:18:10,571 --> 00:18:12,571
[GROANS]
522
00:18:12,571 --> 00:18:15,737
Tom, I need to know
how you contracted the flu.
523
00:18:15,737 --> 00:18:17,237
Did you leave the house?
524
00:18:17,237 --> 00:18:20,437
No. I was so hungry, I...
Leonard.
525
00:18:20,437 --> 00:18:21,837
It was so delicious.
526
00:18:21,837 --> 00:18:25,270
[***]
527
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,971
I swear my left hand,
right hand to God,
528
00:18:27,971 --> 00:18:29,938
I did not feed him no chicken.
529
00:18:29,938 --> 00:18:31,837
Just some fries
and some Buffalo wings.
530
00:18:31,837 --> 00:18:34,904
Oh, man, there was chicken
in here all this time?
531
00:18:34,904 --> 00:18:36,504
Chicken?
No, no, not chicken.
532
00:18:36,504 --> 00:18:39,070
Buffalo. You ain't just hear
me just say Buffalo wings?
533
00:18:39,070 --> 00:18:41,038
When I tried one
I thought to myself,
534
00:18:41,038 --> 00:18:43,504
"This tastes like chicken."
But the fact it was a buffalo,
535
00:18:43,504 --> 00:18:45,237
I was like, I don't
wanna say it out loud,
536
00:18:45,237 --> 00:18:46,537
y'all gonna think I'm stupid.
537
00:18:46,537 --> 00:18:48,103
That's why I ain't
get no chicken.
538
00:18:48,103 --> 00:18:51,137
GRANDDAD: Get out of here!
THUGNIFICENT: Hold up, man!
539
00:18:51,137 --> 00:18:52,704
You too, you nasty ass hooker!
540
00:18:52,704 --> 00:18:53,904
It ain't like that!
541
00:18:53,904 --> 00:18:55,871
I didn't just catch
you on top of Tina?
542
00:18:55,871 --> 00:18:57,170
Well, yeah, you did,
543
00:18:57,170 --> 00:18:58,804
but I swear I thought
it was cool, man.
544
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:00,871
You thought it was cool?
How is that cool?
545
00:19:00,871 --> 00:19:02,971
I swear to God, man,
she told me you wouldn't mind.
546
00:19:02,971 --> 00:19:04,737
I thought you was
sharing with the homey!
547
00:19:04,737 --> 00:19:05,938
It ain't no fun unless...
548
00:19:05,938 --> 00:19:07,704
Nigga, you know
what I'm talking about.
549
00:19:07,704 --> 00:19:10,038
I thought we was tag teaming
on the ass, man, all right?
550
00:19:10,038 --> 00:19:12,370
That's disgusting.
Get out! All of you. Out!
551
00:19:12,370 --> 00:19:14,070
Out!
Please, please, please,
552
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:15,771
let me stay!
GRANDDAD: Get out of here.
553
00:19:15,771 --> 00:19:17,837
I'm sorry I smashed your broad.
What we gonna do?
554
00:19:17,837 --> 00:19:18,971
I didn't mean to kill Tom.
555
00:19:18,971 --> 00:19:20,571
I fed him 'cause
I wanted him to live.
556
00:19:20,571 --> 00:19:23,038
And now he not gonna live, so
it's like, why'd I feed him?
557
00:19:23,038 --> 00:19:24,470
But I didn't mean to kill him.
558
00:19:24,470 --> 00:19:27,070
THUGNIFICENT:
Come on, old nigga!
We gonna die out here!
559
00:19:27,070 --> 00:19:28,604
HUEY:
Betty's going to come back.
560
00:19:28,604 --> 00:19:30,571
And we can't defend
this place by ourselves.
561
00:19:30,571 --> 00:19:32,170
We have to go.
Leave the house?
562
00:19:32,170 --> 00:19:33,237
But where are we gonna go?
563
00:19:33,237 --> 00:19:34,304
Don't know.
564
00:19:34,304 --> 00:19:35,671
We'll have to take our chances.
565
00:19:35,671 --> 00:19:37,070
TOM:
You guys go without me.
566
00:19:37,070 --> 00:19:38,737
I'm only gonna slow you down.
567
00:19:38,737 --> 00:19:41,237
SARAH:
Oh, honey, no.
We'd never leave you.
568
00:19:41,237 --> 00:19:43,804
GRANDDAD:
Okay, if that's what you want.
Come on, boys.
569
00:19:43,804 --> 00:19:46,137
Mr. Freeman!
It's okay.
570
00:19:46,137 --> 00:19:48,270
There isn't enough room
for the food and me.
571
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:49,904
Take the food.
572
00:19:49,904 --> 00:19:51,270
Leave me.
573
00:19:53,370 --> 00:19:55,070
[***]
574
00:19:55,070 --> 00:19:57,904
GRANDDAD:
Let's get them all.
Put the cans in there.
575
00:19:57,904 --> 00:19:59,404
Put it up there.
576
00:19:59,404 --> 00:20:01,737
Tighten it up.
Oh, my God, Tom, you heavy.
577
00:20:01,737 --> 00:20:03,370
[GRANDDAD GRUNTS]
578
00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:05,404
Don't die in my trunk.
579
00:20:05,404 --> 00:20:09,103
[***]
580
00:20:09,103 --> 00:20:10,938
Robert Freeman!
581
00:20:10,938 --> 00:20:15,203
You, sir, are a terrorist
and a threat to public good!
582
00:20:15,203 --> 00:20:17,437
Prepare to be apprehended!
583
00:20:17,437 --> 00:20:18,804
[LAUGHS]
584
00:20:18,804 --> 00:20:20,237
[ENGINE STARTS]
585
00:20:22,537 --> 00:20:23,904
After them!
586
00:20:23,904 --> 00:20:26,337
Get on the bus!
Get on the bus!
587
00:20:27,637 --> 00:20:30,671
RILEY: Yeah!
SARAH: Slow down!
588
00:20:31,938 --> 00:20:33,170
[LAUGHS]
589
00:20:36,137 --> 00:20:37,904
RILEY:
Watch out!
590
00:20:39,737 --> 00:20:40,804
[TIRES SQUEALING]
591
00:20:42,404 --> 00:20:45,304
[JAZMINE SCREAMS]
592
00:20:45,304 --> 00:20:48,237
[ALL SHOUTING]
593
00:20:48,237 --> 00:20:50,004
[SIGHS]
594
00:20:50,004 --> 00:20:52,270
* It's terrible in Terrabelle
That's where I'm from *
595
00:20:52,270 --> 00:20:54,270
* It's terrible in Terrabelle *
596
00:20:54,270 --> 00:20:56,203
[ALL YELLING]
597
00:20:58,170 --> 00:20:59,504
RILEY:
Yeah, that's right!
598
00:20:59,504 --> 00:21:01,237
Next time, niggas!
599
00:21:01,237 --> 00:21:02,837
Ride out, old man!
600
00:21:02,837 --> 00:21:03,904
I love you, Robert!
601
00:21:03,904 --> 00:21:05,904
I'm sorry, old nigga!
602
00:21:05,904 --> 00:21:07,571
What the fuck
are y'all wearing?
603
00:21:07,571 --> 00:21:11,170
We're here at a Kernel's Fried
Chicken outside of Woodcrest.
604
00:21:11,170 --> 00:21:13,504
It now seems
that fried chicken flu
605
00:21:13,504 --> 00:21:15,537
was actually just salmonella.
606
00:21:15,537 --> 00:21:19,404
None of those millions of people
projected to die have died.
607
00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:21,571
In fact it appears
nobody has died.
608
00:21:21,571 --> 00:21:24,337
We are being told
there are still large areas
609
00:21:24,337 --> 00:21:27,203
without power, meaning many
people are still not aware
610
00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:29,304
that the crisis has ended.
611
00:21:29,304 --> 00:21:32,337
We're going to go now to...
Wait, I'm seeing something here.
612
00:21:32,337 --> 00:21:35,704
Uh, it looks like something
coming right at us...
613
00:21:35,704 --> 00:21:37,737
Dear God! Run!
614
00:21:37,737 --> 00:21:38,737
[ALL SCREAM]
615
00:21:41,304 --> 00:21:43,470
WOMAN: Oh, my God!
[RILEY COUGHS]
616
00:21:43,470 --> 00:21:45,004
RILEY:
Are we dead?
617
00:21:45,004 --> 00:21:47,671
[ALL GROAN]
618
00:21:47,671 --> 00:21:49,504
[CROWD CHATTERING]
619
00:21:49,504 --> 00:21:51,038
TOM: I'm okay.
SARAH: Honey?
620
00:21:51,038 --> 00:21:52,837
GRANDDAD:
Oh!
621
00:21:52,837 --> 00:21:54,537
Can I get...
622
00:21:54,537 --> 00:21:56,203
Can I get a two-piece
and a biscuit?
623
00:21:56,203 --> 00:21:58,504
And all the fries
you can give me.
624
00:21:58,504 --> 00:22:00,671
Oh.
[HORN HONKS]
625
00:22:00,671 --> 00:22:02,470
* Down to the gristle *
626
00:22:02,470 --> 00:22:04,004
* Make you wanna
Smack your mamma *
627
00:22:04,004 --> 00:22:05,671
* It's bone-suckin' good *
628
00:22:05,671 --> 00:22:07,704
* It's bone-suckin' good *
629
00:22:07,704 --> 00:22:09,904
* It's bone-suckin' good *
630
00:22:09,904 --> 00:22:12,004
* It's bone-suckin' good *
631
00:22:12,004 --> 00:22:14,103
* It's bone-suckin' good *
632
00:22:14,103 --> 00:22:16,137
* It's bone-suckin' good *
633
00:22:16,137 --> 00:22:18,103
* It's bone-suckin' good *
634
00:22:18,103 --> 00:22:20,270
* It's bone-suckin' good *
635
00:22:20,270 --> 00:22:22,304
* It's bone-suckin' good *
636
00:22:22,304 --> 00:22:24,304
* It's bone-suckin' good *
637
00:22:24,304 --> 00:22:26,304
* It's bone-suckin' good *
638
00:22:26,304 --> 00:22:28,837
* It's bone-suckin' good *