♪ OH OH OH ♪ ♪ TODAY'S THE DAY I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR ♪
♪ TOMORROW WON'T COME AFTER
ALL ♪
♪ YESTERDAY IS SO FAR AWAY ♪
♪ AND TODAY IS THE ONLY DAY ♪
♪ SOMEBODY PLEASE STOP THE
CLOCK ♪
♪ OH OH OH ♪
>> Announcer: HERE SHE IS
NOW, ELLEN DeGENERES!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
♪ DON'T EVER LET THIS DAY STOP ♪
♪ OH OH OH ♪
♪ I NEVER WANNA GO HOME ♪
♪ NO NO NO NO NO ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> Ellen: THINK SO MUCH, HEY, EVERYBODY, THANKS SO MUCH. I WALK OUT HERE AND I STAND ON
THE MARK AND THE MARKET IS
USUALLY A PICTURE OF SOMETHING
AND THEY SURPRISE ME EVERY DAY,
AND THEN KISSING SOMEONE, I
THINK IT IS JENNIFER ANISTON, IS
IT?
CAN I PICK IT UP?
IS THAT JEN?
YES.
>> YES.
IT'S GOING ALL RIGHT, PUT PUT
THAT BACK DOWN THERE, HAVE Y'ALL
HEARD, I LIKE TO STAY CURRENT,
AND IF YOU COUNT ON ME FOR
SAYING CURRENT, GOOD FOR YOU.
[LAUGHTER]
AND THAT'S A SHAME.
AT THE SAME TIME.
BUT THE NFTS EVERYONE IS TALKING
ABOUT.
HAVE YOU HEARD OF NFTS?
A COUPLE OF PEOPLE.
YES, AND THEN OTHER PEOPLE, NO.
AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE
NATIONAL FEDERATION OF TREE
FROGS IF THAT'S WHAT YOU THOUGHT
I WAS TALKING ABOUT.
SO NFTs STANDS FOR NONFUNGIBLE
TOKEN.
THIS TERM HAS BEEN ALL OVER THE
NEWS, BUT MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW
WHAT IT IS INCLUDING ME.
BUT THAT'S NOT GOING TO STOP ME
FROM TRYING TO EXPLAIN IT TO
YOU.
[LAUGHTER]
SO HOLD ON TO YOUR ZOOMS BECAUSE
I'M ABOUT TO PUT THE FUN IN
FUNGIBLE.
I WATCHED A YOUTUBE VIDEO OF
NFTS AND I FOUND OUT THAT BOUNTY
PAPER TOWELS ARE 42% BETTER THAN
OTHER BRANDS.
THAT WAS THE COMMERCIAL AND THEN
THAT'S ALL I WATCH BECAUSE I GOT
BORED.
BUT I READ AN ARTICLE, SO
SOMETHING NONFUNGIBLE MEANS IT
IS UNIQUE AND CAN'T BE REPLACED
WITH ANYTHING ELSE.
BEFORE NFTs WE ONLY TALKED ABOUT
THINGS THAT WERE FUNGIBLE LIKE
BITCOIN.
BITCOIN IS CRYPTOCURRENCY WHICH
I BELIEVE MAKES SUPERMAN WEAK.
[LAUGHTER]
LET'S GET BACK TO THE NFT.
ARE YOU DOWN WITH NFT?
YEAH, YOU KNOW ME.
NFT!
I'M DOWN WITH NFT.
[LAUGHTER]
NFT IS ANYTHING DIGITAL LIKE
DRAWINGS, MUSIC, TWEETS.
THE OWNERS OF THE DIGITAL ITEMS
HAVE BEEN SELLING THEM.
FOR INSTANCE SOMEONE BOUGHT A
DIGITAL DRAWING OF A CAT.
ARE YOU ALL SITTING DOWN?
YES, YOU ARE ALL SITTING DOWN.
IT SOLD FOR $172,000.
THAT DRAWING UP THAT CAT.
AND I KNOW THAT YOU ARE THINKING
THAT'S INSANE, AND YOU ARE
RIGHT.
BUT SOME THINGS CAN'T BE
UNDERSTOOD LIKE MATH, SCIENCE,
OR HOW THEY MAKE DIPPIN' DOTS.
[LAUGHTER]
IF THIS IS A SELF-PORTRAIT MADE
BY A CAT, THEN I GET IT.
IT IS WORTH THAT MUCH MONEY.
IF A CAT DREW THAT AND IT LOOKS
JUST LIKE THAT.
IF IT DID NOT LOOK LIKE IT, IT
IS LESS MONEY.
BUT IF IT LOOKS IDENTICAL TO
THAT, I GET IT ALL DAY LONG.
I'M SURE YOU ARE WONDERING WHY
SOMEONE WOULD DO THAT, BECAUSE
YOU CAN JUST COPY AND PASTE IT,
RIGHT?
THINK OF IT LIKE THIS.
IT'S LIKE ART, ANYONE CAN OWN A
PRINT OF A PAINTING, BUT ONLY
ONE PERSON CAN OWN THE ORIGINAL.
FOR INSTANCE, HERE'S THE VERY
FIRST TWEET EVER POSTED BY THE
CEO OF TWITTER, JUST SETTING UP
MY TWITTER.
OKAY, SOMEBODY PAID $2.5 MILLION
FOR THAT, BECAUSE IT'S THE FIRST
TWEET EVER FROM THE CEO OF
TWITTER.
DIDN'T EVEN SPELL TWITTER RIGHT.
SO NOW SOMEONE OWNS THAT BECAUSE
THEY HAVE A UNIQUE BLOCK CHAIN,
A BLOCK CHAIN COLLECTS
INFORMATION TOGETHER IN GROUPS
ALSO KNOWN AS BLOCKS THAT HOLDS
SETS INFORMATION.
ARE YOU WITH ME?
BECAUSE I'M NOT, I HAVE LOST IT.
[LAUGHTER]
HERE'S WHAT I'M GOING TO DO, I'M
GOING TO TAKE A SELFIE AND I AM
GOING TO NFT IT.
I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S HOW YOU
SAY IT, BUT --
ALL RIGHT.
HERE IS WHAT I AM GOING TO DO,
BECAUSE THE CAT SEEMED TO BE
VERY POPULAR.
SO I DREW A PICTURE OF A CAT
HERE.
[LAUGHTER]
SO I AM NOW --
[LAUGHTER]
I CAN'T FIT IT IN AT THE SAME
TIME.
HOLD ON.
OKAY, THERE.
HANG ON, I THINK I GOT IT.
ANYWAY, SO I AM GOING TO SELL
THIS AND ONCE I FIGURE OUT HOW
TO GET THE PICTURE OFF OF MY
PHONE AND INTO THE COMPUTER AND
THE BLOCK CHAIN AND A
NONFUNGIBLE TOKEN.
IT SHOULD NOT BE ANY HARDER THAN
TURNING OFF MY FLASHLIGHT ON MY
PHONE.
[LAUGHTER]
SO I WILL TWEET OUT THE
INFORMATION ON HOW YOU CAN BUY
THIS NFT, AND ALL OF THE MONEY
WILL GO TO JOSE ANDRES CHARITY
WORLD CENTRAL KITCHEN.
NOW FOR SOMEONE'S BLOCK WHO IS
OFF THE CHAIN.
SAY HI TO TWITCH, EVERYBODY!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] >> Ellen: OW! TWITCH, THAT WAS WONDERFUL.
I CAN SEE THAT YOU ARE OUT OF
BREATH.
I'M NOT JUDGING, JUST NOTICING.
LUCKY FOR YOU IT IS TUESDAY,
WHICH MEANS THAT IT IS TIME FOR
"TIKTOK TUESDAY."
♪ ♪
[APPLAUSE] >> NO, WHAT? >> Ellen: WOW, SOME PEOPLE ARE
REALLY USING THEIR TIME PROPER
PROPERLY.
I MEAN, TO LEARN HOW TO DO A
HAND STAMP THAT LONG AND THEN TO
THINK ABOUT SPINNING A ROLL OF
TOILET PAPER AND THEN SHOOTING
A PING-PONG BALL THROUGH IT,
LIKE THAT'S THE KIND OF THING
YOU SHOULD BE DOING.
[LAUGHTER]
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH
ME.
I DID NOT SLEEP LAST NIGHT.
YOU KNOW WHEN YOU DON'T SLEEP AT
NIGHT AND YOU'RE JUST JUST A
LITTLE PUNCHY?
THAT'S HOW I AM.
I WOULD NOT CALL IT PUNCHY.
[LAUGHTER]
AND YET, I DID.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
I'M SLEEPY, SO ANYWAY.
A LOT OF YOU KNOW THIS ALREADY,
BUT I DON'T HAVE A HUSBAND.
AND I DON'T NEED TO SHOW YOU
WHY, BUT I'M GOING TO WIN A
SEGMENT I CALL "WHY I DON'T HAVE
A HUSBAND."
♪ ♪
ALL RIGHT, LORENA. I DON'T KNOW HOUSE SHE
PRONOUNCES HER NAME, BUT HOWEVER
SHE WANTS TO DO IT IS PROPER.
BUY LORENA FROM PITTSBURGH SENT
THIS END.
>> OH, [BLEEP]!
>> Ellen: THAT'S WHY I DON'T
HAVE A HUSBAND AND WHY THAT GUY
CAN'T HAVE KIDS NOW.
[LAUGHTER]
SHARON FROM CINCINNATI, MY
HUSBAND HAD ONE JOB TO PUT AWAY
THE ORANGE JUICE, I WOKE UP AND
FOUND THIS.
[LAUGHTER]
HOW IS PUTTING ORANGE JUICE AWAY
A JOB?
THAT'S A JOB?
THAT'S ALL HE HAS TO DO?
SHARON IN CINCINNATI.
ISABEL IN QUEBEC, CANADA, I
ALWAYS COMPLAINED THAT MY
HUSBAND NEVER CHANGES THE TOILET
PAPER ROLL.
WHEN HE FINISHES IT, I GUESS HE
FINALLY DID.
[LAUGHTER]
HOW LAZY CAN YOU GET?
THAT IS WORSE THAN DOING NOTHING
AT ALL.
IT MAKES THE ORANGE JUICE GUY
LOOK OKAY.
[LAUGHTER]
REALLY, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
LIKE YOU REALLY CAN'T CHANGE A
TOILET PAPER ROLL?
WHAT'S HER NAME?
ISABEL.
FINALLY DENISE FROM MELBOURNE,
AUSTRALIA, MY HUSBAND THOUGHT IT
WOULD BE FUNNY TO DO THIS.
♪ ♪
I WONDER IF HE STILL THINKS IT'S
FUNNY.
[LAUGHTER]
I THINK YOUR HUSBAND HAS A
DRINKING PROBLEM AND A JUMPING
PROBLEM.
HONEY, GET THE CAMERA, WATCH
WHAT I'M GOING TO DO, HONEY,
HONEY, NO, I DON'T WANT TO PUT
PANTS ON.
COME ON, HONEY!
IF THAT VIDEO MADE YOU SAY "WHAT
THE" YOU WILL ENJOY THIS NEXT
SEGMENT IT'S CALLED "WHAT THE"."
I JUST HAVE TO SAY THAT THAT IS
A SHORT, SHORT INTRO FOR A
SEGMENT, BUT THE "TIKTOK
TUESDAY" WAS TOO LONG.
WE WILL LISTEN TO IT AGAIN ONE
DAY.
THIS IS TOO SHORT.
SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE.
THESE ARE REAL NEWS HEADLINES
THAT MAKE ME SAY "WHAT THE," SO
HERE'S THE FIRST ONE.
WOMAN FINDS OUT SON'S BRIDE IS
THEIR LONG-LOST DAUGHTER ON
THEIR WEDDING DAY.
"WHAT THE" AND "HOW THE" AND DID
THEY?
[LAUGHTER]
HERE'S ANOTHER ONE.
YOUR CAN NOW ALERT YOU WHEN YOUR
FOOD DELIVERY IS GOING TO COME.
[LAUGHTER]
AGAIN, WHAT THE AND HOW?
[VIBRATING]
TACOS.
I DON'T KNOW.
I SAID I HAVE NOT SLEPT.
[LAUGHTER]
HERE'S ANOTHER ONE, BABY IN A
RACK, FIRST HUMAN DOCUMENTED
WITH THREE PENISES.
"WHAT DO, WHAT THE, AND WHAT T
THE"."
IT IS THE LAST ONE, GODZILLA
MONITOR LIZARD CLIMBS UP STORE
SHELVES.
"WHAT THE?"
>> I WOULD'VE -- I WOULD NOT
HAVE BEEN THERE.
[INDISTINGUISHABLE]
>> NO.
NO!
>> Ellen: I DON'T SPEAK TAI,
BUT I THINK THEY WERE SAYING
"WHAT THE."
I HAVE A CRAZY STORY THAT WILL
MAKE YOU SAY "WHAT THE."
I THINK YOU KNOW --
I GREW UP IN --
>> A MONITOR LIZARD."
WHERE IS IT GOING?
PROBABLY JUST WANTS TO READ OFF
OF US.
IS HE EVEN HE?
HE COULD BE A SHE.
AS SHE LIZARD.
THAT'S AWESOME.
>> Ellen: I DON'T EVEN THINK I
TOLD YOU THAT STORY, TWITCH.
, TWITCH, TWITCH.
I DON'T THINK THAT I TOLD YOU
THAT STORY.
THAT'S HOW I WAS SWITCHED AT
BIRTH.
AND IT'S A CRAZY STORY!
[LAUGHTER]
>> YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.
>> Ellen: GLAD I SHARED IT.
WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> Ellen: GWEN STEFANI HAILING A TAXI!
>> MR. TAXI!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> Ellen: OUR NEXT GUEST ARE
TWO INCREDIBLE DANCERS WHO HAVE
200 MILLION VIEWS ON TIKTOK,
PLEASE WELCOME SLAVIK AND
AUBREY.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
[PHONE RINGING]
♪ ♪
>> Ellen: OH, MY GOD! COME ON! >> HELLO, HOW ARE YOU DOING?
>> Ellen: YOU GUYS ARE
INCREDIBLE!
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> Ellen: YOU STARTED
PERFORMING TOGETHER, I MEAN, YOU
HAVE NOT PERFORMED FOR A LONG
TIME, RIGHT?
>> YEAH, YOU KNOW --
>> Ellen: IT SO MEAN TO MAKE
YOU TALK AFTER THAT.
YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO HAVE A
BREATH OR SOMETHING.
I'M SO SORRY.
HOW IS THAT?
[LAUGHTER]
>> WE'RE GOOD.
BUT YEAH, TO GO BACK TO THE
QUESTION, IT HAS BEEN A CRAZY
YEAR.
SO OBVIOUSLY BEING ABLE TO LIKE
DO THIS AGAIN IS REALLY
REFRESHING, BUT ON TOP OF THAT
IT DOES NOT --
IT FEELS LIKE WE HAVE BEEN DOING
IT THE WHOLE TIME, BECAUSE WE
REALLY HAVE, IT'S JUST NOW THAT
THINGS ARE OPENING BACK UP WE
COULD GO OUT OUTSIDE AND DO
VIDEOS THEY ARE AND DO
COLLABORATIONS WITH PEOPLE.
SO IT'S REALLY REFRESHING.
>> Ellen: 400 MILLION
FOLLOWERS, 200 MILLION VIEWS ON
TIKTOK IS VERY IMPRESSIVE.
>> YES, VERY IMPRESSIVE.
GARY POSTED BY WILL SMITH, AND
CHRIS BROWN, SO IT'S AWESOME.
>> Ellen: FAMOUS DUDES, I
MEAN, YOU ARE BOTH INCREDIBLE,
SO WHAT YOU HAVE DANCED WITH
ALLISON AND TWITCH.
>> ME, ALLISON, TWITCH GO BACK
YEARS, I DID "SO YOU THINK YOU
CAN DANCE" IN 2018 AND ACTUALLY
ALLISON WAS MY ALL-STAR, SO THE
FIRST LIKE BIG PERFORMANCE OF
THAT SEASON FOR ME WAS DANCING
WITH ALLISON AND THEN AFTERWARDS
TWITCH WAS MY JUDGE THE WHOLE
TIME, SO HE WAS JUST LIKE, IT
WAS COMFORTING TO HAVE SOMEONE
LIKE HIM JUDGE ME OUTSIDE OF
OTHER JUDGES THAT I WAS LIKE I
KNOW WHAT HE WENT THROUGH, SO I
CAN RELATE TO THAT.
AND TWITCH IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE
DANCERS GOOD AND I DO A REALLY
GOOD IMPRESSION OF HIM.
>> Ellen: YOU CAN?
>> YES, I CAN SHOW IT TO YOU.
>> I'M WATCHING.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Ellen: IT'S PRETTY GOOD.
HEY, WE HAVE A GIFT FOR YOU,
BECAUSE I KNOW THAT YOU DANCE
AND HOODIE IS A LOT WHEN YOU
POST AND IT IS GETTING HOT OUT
THERE, SO WE HAVE SOME SHORT
SLEEVE HOODIES FOR YOU.
>> I LOVE THE COLORS.
IT'S MY FAVORITE COLOR, ACTUAL
ACTUALLY.
IT'S MY FAVORITE COLOR.
>> Ellen: MINE TOO, LOOK
AROUND.
YOU WILL DANCE WITH TWITCH INTO
THE COMMERCIAL BREAK.
WE WILL BE BACK.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> I THINK IT HAD TO DO WITH
ABC, THE JACKSON FIVE SONG, AND
I WAS LIKE, I AM ELLEN, I KNOW
ALL OF THE WORDS, ABC, I'M
DANCING.
AND THAT WAS IT.
>> IF YOU DON'T SEE THE AMOUNT
OF PEOPLE THAT LOOK LIKE YOU OR
YOU DON'T HAVE THAT MENTORSHIP,
THEN IT'S HARDER FOR YOU TO
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> Ellen: OUR FIRST GUEST IS A
VERY FUNNY COMEDIAN WHO YOU CAN
SEE EVERY WEEKEND ON SATURDAY
NIGHT LIVE.
TAKE A LOOK.
>> I REALLY LIKE JINGLE BELLS,
WHAT A CLASSIC!
GOES LIKE THIS.
♪ JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS,
JINGLE BELLS ALL THE WAY ♪
♪ I'M BEGGING OF YOU PLEASE ♪
♪ DON'T PLAY JOLENE ♪
>> THAT'S NOT HOW JINGLE BELLS
GOES AND IT'S NOT REALLY HOW
JOLENE GOES.
YOU WANT TO DO DELI SONGS, JUST
BE UPFRONT WITH ME.
>> I AM BEING EXTREMELY UPFRONT!
I ALMOST HAD TROUBLE WALKING OUT
HERE!
>> Ellen: PLEASE WELCOME
MELISSA VILLASENOR!
>> HELLO!
>> Ellen: I HAVE BEEN --
IT'S SO NICE TO HAVE YOU ON!
I'VE BEEN WATCHING BEFORE WE
INTRODUCE TO YOU YOU SITTING
WITH YOUR PRECIOUS DOGGY, WHAT
IS YOUR DOG'S NAME?
>> MY DOGS NAME IS PENNY.
SHE IS LICKING SOMETHING COMING
IN NO [LAUGHTER]
BUT SHE IS HERE WITH ME, AND OH,
MY GOD, ELLEN, IT'S SO NICE TO
MEET YOU.
>> Ellen: YOU HAVE BECOME ONE
OF THE HIGHLIGHTS OF "SNL" AND
I'M REALLY HAPPY TO HAVE YOU ON!
YOU STARTED IN 2016, RIGHT?
>> YES, I STARTED THAT SEASON, I
FORGOT, 42, SEASON 42, YES.
>> AND I ONLY KNOW BECAUSE I DO
THE RESEARCH, YOU DON'T NEED TO
KEEP COUNT, I WILL DO IT FOR
YOU.
BUT YOU AUDITIONED OVER TEN
YEARS AGO AND I HEARD THAT IN
YOUR AUDITION I WAS ONE OF YOUR
IMPRESSIONS.
FIRST OF ALL, WHAT HAPPENED, AND
LOOK AT THAT DOGGY, I MEAN, COME
ON.
I'M TRYING TO PAY ATTENTION TO
YOU TOO BUT IT'S JUST A CUTE
DOG.
SO WHAT HAPPENED IN THE AUDITI
AUDITION?
>> WELL, YOU KNOW, THAT
AUDITION, THE FIRST ONE WAS
GREAT, AND YES, YOU WERE IN
THERE, ELLEN.
I DON'T REMEMBER THE BIT, BUT I
THINK IT HAD TO DO WITH ABC, THE
JACKSON FIVE SONG.
I WAS LIKE I'M ELLEN AND I KNOW
ALL THE WORDS, ABC, I LOVE
DANCING, AND THAT WAS IT.
THAT'S ALL I REMEMBER AND I'M
SORRY, IT'S SO BAD.
IT HAS BEEN A WHILE.
>> Ellen: THAT'S ALL RIGHT,
BUT THEN YOU DID NOT GET IT.
>> I WAS NOT READY, I WAS 21,
NO, I WAS NOT FUNNY.
>> Ellen: AND NOW YOU
APPRECIATE IT MORE, PROBABLY.
>> YES.
>> Ellen: I'M SURE THAT YOU
WERE FUNNY, BUT THE MORE THAT WE
DO ANYTHING, THE BETTER WE GET
AT IT, RIGHT?
SO YOU STARTED DOING STAND UP
REALLY EARLY, LIKE 16, 17?
>> 15 I STARTED DOING THE LAUGH
FACTORY COMEDY CAMP, AND
FORTUNATE TO BE OUT HERE FROM
L.A., SO RIGHT AFTER HIGH SCHOOL
I TOLD MY PARENTS YOU BETTER
DRIVE ME TO THE OPEN MICS THERE
I AM.
>> Ellen: DID YOU DO MOSTLY
IMPRESSIONS?
OR DID YOU WRITE MATERIAL?
BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE YOU DO A
LOT OF IMPRESSIONS.
>> THAT FOR THE LONGEST TIME WAS
ONLY -- THE ONLY THING I HAD IN
MY STAND UP THAT WAS, IT WAS THE
MAIN THING.
ALL OF THE BITS WERE AROUND
IMPRESSIONS, BUT NOW IT HAS A
BEAUTIFUL MIX WHERE --
BECAUSE I GOT MAD.
I WAS LIKE THE CROWD NEEDS TO
KNOW ME TOO, I'M SPECIAL!
YOU KNOW?
AND I WANT TO SHARE MY STORY, SO
NOW IT'S A MIX OF A LITTLE BIT
OF ME, MY FAMILY, MY PARENTS, MY
ABUELITA, MY GREAT GRANDMA WHO
TALKS LIKE --
AND IT IS MIXED IN CELEBRITY
IMPRESSIONS AND SINGING AND IT'S
ALL VERY PERSONAL AND IT JUST
MAKES IT VERY FULFILLING AND
CATHARTIC.
YOU KNOW?
>> Ellen: THAT IS A GREAT
THING ABOUT BEING ABLE TO WRITE
AND GET HUMOR OUT OF IT NO
MATTER WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR
LIFE.
DO YOU REMEMBER THE FIRST GUEST
YOU DID AT "SNL"?
>> YES, IT WAS A FAMILY FEUD AND
I PLAYED SARAH SILVERMAN, OH, MY
GOD!
AND I WAS REALLY NERVOUS ABOUT
THAT, I REMEMBERED SHAKING
BEFORE THEY COUNTED DOWN TO GO
LIVE AND I THOUGHT, OH, NO, I
CAN'T DO THIS.
NO!
AGAIN, THAT WAS MY FIRST ONE.
>> Ellen: DO YOU GET, ARE YOU
NERVOUS ANYMORE?
OR IS IT EASY FOR YOU TO DO
EVERY WEEK ESPECIALLY BECAUSE
Y'ALL HAVE GREAT MUSICIANS AND
GUEST HOSTS?
>> IT HAS GOTTEN EASIER, BUT IF
THERE IS SOMEONE THAT I GET
STARSTRUCK BY LIKE J.LO OR, ONE
TIME ROBERT DE NIRO WAS THERE,
AND --
IT'S CRAZY TO SEE THEM IN
PERSON, YOU KNOW?
AND I SAW A ROBERT DE NIRO IN
HIS DRESSING ROOM, AND A WALK BY
AND MADE EYE CONTACT.
AND I RAN.
I WAS LIKE OH, NO, HE SAW ME.
AND THEN HEIDI SAID, YOU CAN
TALK TO THEM, YOU ARE A CAST
MEMBER.
AND I SAID ROBERT, I'M MELISSA,
NICE TO MEET YOU.
AND HE SAID, HEY, HOW ARE YOU
DOING PUSH TO MARK AND HE WAS
REALLY NICE.
AND I HAVE TO TALK TO MYSELF,
MELISSA, THEY KNOW YOU.
I DID THAT WITH PAUL RUDD.
I WAS LIKE PAUL --
BUT IT'S CRAZY.
SEEING J.LO, TOM HANKS.
THAT WAS MY FIRST SEASON,
TOM HANKS.
AND YEAH, HE JUST MARCHED INTO
MY WRITING OFFICE AND ATE ALL OF
MY ALMONDS.
>> Ellen: YOU ARE HOSTING THE
INDEPENDENT SPIRIT AWARDS NEXT
WEEK, THAT WILL BE FUN, RIGHT?
>> ALL PRETAPED AND FUN, THOUGH
PIECES WE HAVE WRITTEN ARE
REALLY SILLY AND I HOPE THAT
PEOPLE LIKE IT.
FIRST TIME HOSTING ANYTHING TOO.
>> Ellen: YOU WILL HAVE SO
MUCH FUN.
YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE IT.
IT'S STAND UP WITH A BUNCH OF
REALLY COOL PEOPLE!
>> YEAH.
>> Ellen: YOU WILL BE GREAT.
WE HAVE TO TAKE A BREAK, MORE
WITH MELISSA AFTER THIS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
GWEN STEFANI HAILING A TAXI.
>> MR. TAXI!
PICK ME UP!
>> IF YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO SEE A
LOT OF PEOPLE THAT LOOK LIKE YOU
OR YOU DON'T HAVE THAT
MENTORSHIP AT AN EARLY AGE, THAN
IT IS HARDER
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> Ellen: WE ARE BACK WITH A
VERY FUNNY MELISSA VILLASENOR.
SO YOU ARE GOING ON TOUR THIS
SUMMER, THAT'S GOING TO BE
EXCITING TO DO STAND UP AGAIN
THIS SUMMER!
>> YES, IT IS CALLED THE
CALIFORNIA GIRL TOUR AND I AM
RENTING A VAN AND DRIVING
CROSS-COUNTRY.
>> Ellen: JUST YOU AND PENNY?
>> MY SISTER WILL COME WITH ME,
MY PARENTS WILL FLY IN FOR SOME
DAYS, MY BOYFRIEND WILL FLY IN,
BUT YES, IT'S NOT --
I WON'T BE ALONE, I DON'T THINK.
>> Ellen: I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE
IT.
HOPEFULLY YOU WILL BE OUT HERE
AND I CAN SEE YOU IN CALIFORNIA,
BECAUSE YOU ARE SO GOOD AT
IMPRESSIONS WE WILL PLAY AGAIN
BEFORE YOU GO.
I WILL USE THIS VERY FANCY AND
VERY FEW PEOPLE HAVE IT.
IT'S EXPENSIVE.
IT'S AN IMPRESSION GENERATOR.
WHAT I DO AS I HIT THE BUTTON
AND A NAME AND ACTIVITY WILL
COME UP AND YOU WILL DO YOUR
BEST IMPRESSION, OKAY?
TOTALLY RANDOM.
[LAUGHTER]
WANDA SYKES RIDING A
ROLLER COASTER.
>> OH, IS THERE GOING TO BE A
LOOP?
IF THERE IS A LOOP, I'M GOING TO
PUKE ON YOU.
I DON'T WANT TO BE ON THIS
ROLLER COASTER.
>> Ellen: [LAUGHS]
>> DON'T BUY THE PHOTO AT THE
END, BECAUSE HE WILL JUST HAVE
TOO MUCH FUN.
>> Ellen: YES, I LIKE IT!
OWEN WILSON ON SAFARI.
>> LOOK AT ALL OF THE HIPPOS!
I LOVE THE LITTLE --
I LOVE WHEN THEIR TAILORS
ARE'S -- TALES ARE SWIRLY.
HI.
IT'S ELVIS!
>> Ellen: [LAUGHS]
THAT'S FANTASTIC.
>> THIS IS SO FUN.
OKAY.
OH, GOSH, I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF PIZZA
I WANT.
DON'T DO PINEAPPLE, I DON'T LIKE
PINEAPPLE ON MY PIZZA.
BOLOGNA IS FINE.
YEAH, I GUESS IT'S ALL RIGHT,
SURE.
HOW LONG IS IT GOING TO TAKE?
OH, GOSH, I'M GOING TO BE
ASLEEP.
NO.
>> Ellen: THAT IS EXCELLENT!
>> I LOVE LILY TOMLIN.
>> Ellen: DIANE KEATON SELLING
PRODUCTS ON QVC.
>> YES, IT'S DIANE!
[LAUGHS]
I'M SELLING HATS --
A [LAUGHS]
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!
I DON'T KNOW.
I HAVE MY WINE HERE.
I WILL SIP SOME OF THIS ON QVC!
[LAUGHS]
OH, NO, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY
ARE TALKING ABOUT.
>> Ellen: [LAUGHTER]
GWEN STEFANI HAILING A TAXI.
>> MR. TAXI, PICK ME UP!
I WANT TO GO HOME!
♪ EXCUSE ME, MR. ♪
>> Ellen: YES.
CHRISTINA AGUILERA TEACHING
STUDENTS THE ABCs.
>> CLASS, ABCs GO LIKE THIS.
THAT'S NOT HOW SHE SPEAKS.
I DON'T KNOW, BUT HERE'S THE
SINGING.
♪ ABC DEF GHI JAY KLMNO ♪
I LIKE THAT LETTER.
♪ O IS MY FAVORITE LETTER ♪
>> Ellen: SO GOOD.
CATCH MELISSA HOSTING
"INDEPENDENT SPIRIT AWARDS" AT
10:00 ON IFC AND AMC PLUS.
IT'S SO NICE TALKING TO YOU AND
I HOPE TO SEE YOU IN PERSON ONE
DAY.
>> YES, THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
THANKS, ELLEN!
THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME!
>> Ellen: WE WILL BE BACK!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
♪ I WOULD JUST FLY, FLY AWAY ♪ ♪ AND I ALWAYS KNEW I COULDN'T STAY ♪
♪ SO I HAD A DREAM THAT I'D JUST
FLY AWAY, AWAY, OH ♪
♪ OH-OH, WOAH, OH, I'D FLY
AWAY ♪
RELAXATION IN MINUTES.
[SNORING]
>> Ellen: IT SO SOOTHING,
ISN'T IT?
PERFORMING HER NEW HIT SINGLE
"FLY AWAY" THAT HAS BEEN
STREAMED OVER 13 130 MILLION TI,
PLEASE WELCOME TONES AND I!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
♪ I HAD A DREAM THAT SOMEDAY ♪
♪ I WOULD JUST FLY, FLY AWAY ♪
♪ AND I ALWAYS KNEW I COULDN'T
STAY ♪
♪ SO I HAD A DREAM THAT I'D JUST
FLY AWAY ♪
♪ I'VE BEEN ON MY OWN FOR A
MINUTE ♪
♪ IS IT ONLY ME OUT HERE ♪
♪ SEARCHING FOR THE PLACE TO
BEGIN IT ♪
♪ IS IT ME? IS IT YOU? IS IT
FEAR? ♪
♪ STANDING ON THE LINE I WAS
GIVEN ♪
♪ PEOPLE STARE AND ASK ME WHY
I'M HERE ♪
♪ NO ONE SEEMS TO THINK THAT I
FIT IN ♪
♪ BUT I DON'T WANNA BE LIKE
THEM ♪
♪ NO, 'CAUSE I DON'T WANNA BE
LIKE THEM ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I KNOW THAT I, KNOW
THAT I ♪
♪ I HAD A DREAM THAT SOMEDAY ♪
♪ I WOULD JUST FLY, FLY AWAY ♪
♪ AND I ALWAYS KNEW I COULDN'T
STAY ♪
♪ SO I HAD A DREAM THAT I'D JUST
FLY AWAY, AWAY, OH ♪
♪ OH-OH, WOAH, OH, I'D FLY
AWAY ♪
♪ NO ONE KNEW HOW LOW I WAS
FEELING ♪
♪ I WAS SCARED TO REACH IT ALL ♪
♪ KNOWING I WAS HERE FOR A
REASON ♪
♪ BUT I WAS SCARED THAT IF I
TRIED, I'D FALL ♪
♪ SO WHERE DO I GO NOW I'M IN
IT? ♪
♪ I NEVER THOUGHT IT'D BE LIKE
THIS ♪
♪ DREAMING ALL MY LIFE AND I DID
IT ♪
♪ THOUGHT THE GRASS WAS GREENER
THAN THEN IT IS ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I HAD A DREAM THAT
SOMEDAY ♪
♪ I WOULD JUST FLY, FLY AWAY ♪
♪ AND I ALWAYS KNEW I COULDN'T
STAY ♪
♪ SO I HAD A DREAM THAT I'D JUST
FLY AWAY, AWAY, OH ♪
♪ OH-OH, WOAH, OH, I'D FLY
AWAY ♪
♪ OH, WOAH, WOAH, OH I'D FLY
AWAY ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I HAD A DREAM THAT
SOMEDAY ♪
♪ I WOULD JUST FLY, FLY AWAY ♪
♪ AND I ALWAYS KNEW I COULDN'T
STAY ♪
♪ SO I HAD A DREAM THAT I'D JUST
FLY AWAY, AWAY, OH ♪
♪ OH-OH, WOAH FLY AWAY, FLY
AWAY, FLY AWAY, FLY AWAY ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I HAD A DREAM THAT
SOMEDAY ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ ♪ >> IF YOU'RE NOT ABLE TO SEE A
LOT OF PEOPLE THAT LOOK LIKE YOU
OR YOU DON'T HAVE THAT
MENTORSHIP AT AN EARLY AGE, THEN
IT'S HARDER FOR YOU TO BE
EXPOSED TO THESE TYPES OF
CAREERS.
[C
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> Ellen: AND AMERICA LESS
THAN 6% OF PILOTS AND FLIGHT
ENGINEERS ARE WOMEN, AND ONLY 1,
HISPANIC, OR LATINO.
THIS IS A 24-YEAR-OLD PILOT WHO
IS BREAKING THOSE BARRIERS DOWN
DETERMINED TO TEACH YOUNG WOMEN
TO DO THE SAME.
I LOVE HER AND A STORY PRAYED
FROM HOUSTON, TEXAS, PLEASE
WELCOME TAHCHIONA SMITH.
>> HI, ELLEN.
TAHCHIONA, HI.
I KNOW YOUR STORY, BUT I WILL
LET YOU TELL EVERYONE ELSE, TELL
US WHEN YOU KNEW YOU WANTED TO
FLY A PLANE FOR A LIVING?
>> AT THE AGE OF SIX, MY GRANDMA
USED TO TAKE US TO THE AIRPORT
AND WE WOULD WATCH THE AIRPLANES
TAKE OFF AND LAND AND WE WOULD
GO OUT AND TAILGATE, GET SOME
POPCORN AND A COUPLE OF SNACKS
AND JUST WATCH THE AIRPLANES
TAKE OFF AND LAND.
AND THEN THE PASSION OF IT GREW
EVEN FURTHER AND I STARTED MY
AVIATION CAREER AT THE AGE OF 16
WHEN I GOT TO MY HIGH SCHOOL.
>> Ellen: YOU STARTED TRAINING
AT 16?
>> YES, MA'AM.
>> Ellen: YOU'RE DETERMINED TO
CHANGE THE REPRESENTATION, TELL
US ABOUT THIS.
>> YES, MA'AM, I'M DETERMINED,
BUT FIRST I THINK THAT BECOMING
A FLIGHT INSTRUCTOR IS GOING TO
BE A HUGE PART OF THAT, BECAUSE
WITH ME BEING ABLE TO TEACH, I
AM ABLE TO EXPOSE A LOT OF OTHER
INDIVIDUALS, KIDS, ADULTS, AND
BE ABLE TO JUST HAVE THAT
REPRESENTATION FROM THEM TO BE
ABLE TO SEE, YOU KNOW, I CAN
BECOME A PILOT.
>> Ellen: SO IF YOU WOMEN LIKE
I MENTIONED WERE PEOPLE OF COLOR
IN THE AIRLINE INDUSTRY, AND
AGAIN, EXPLAIN WHY THAT IS.
>> I THINK ONE OF THE MAIN
REASONS WHY THOSE NUMBERS ARE SO
SMALL IS BECAUSE OF MONEY, MONEY
IS A HUGE BARRIER FOR A LOT OF
US.
AND YOU KNOW, ELLEN, THERE WERE
TIMES WHERE I DID NOT HAVE
ENOUGH MONEY TO FLY.
IT WAS NOT UNTIL I GOT INTO A
CAR ACCIDENT WHERE I WAS ABLE TO
GET A LOT OF MONEY TO START
FLYING AND FROM THERE I JUST GOT
SCHOLARSHIP AND THEN A
SCHOLARSHIP WAS MY WAY OF PAYING
FOR LIKE FLIGHTS AND GETTING
CERTAIN READINGS AND LIFE
SENTENCE AND ANOTHER PART OF
THAT IS REPRESENTATION.
I THINK THAT REPRESENTATION IS A
BIG THING AS FAR AS THE
SHORTAGE, BECAUSE IF YOU ARE NOT
ABLE TO SEE A LOT OF PEOPLE THAT
LOOK LIKE YOU OR YOU DON'T HAVE
THAT MENTORSHIP AT AN EARLY AGE,
THEN IT'S HARDER FOR YOU TO BE
EXPOSED TO THESE TYPES OF
CAREERS.
>> Ellen: ABSOLUTELY, I THINK
THAT THAT GOES IN EVERY
PROFESSION AND LIFE.
PEOPLE NEED TO SEE THEMSELVES
AND GO, OH, BECAUSE VERY FEW
PEOPLE DON'T SEE THEMSELVES ON
TV OR IN A PROFESSION AND GO, I
STILL CAN DO IT.
IT'S RARE FOR SOMEONE TO TAKE
THAT CHANCE.
YOU ARE A LICENSED PILOT, BUT IN
ORDER TO WORK FOR A MAJOR
COMPANY YOU HAVE TO HAVE A
CERTAIN NUMBER OF HOURS, RIGHT?
>> YES, MA'AM.
I HAVE TO HAVE AT LEAST 1800
HOURS AND I MET 350 HOURS RIGHT
NOW, SO I HAVE ABOUT A THOUSAND
MORE HOURS LEFT TO GO.
KNOWING WHERE DO YOU FLY TO
ACCUMULATE THOSE HOURS?
>> I GO TO DIFFERENT CITIES,
REALLY IT DEPENDS ON THE TIME
ALLOTTED.
MOST OF THE TIME I GET WITH
INSTRUCTING AS PART OF THE
REASON I WAS A FLIGHT INSTRUCTOR
TO BE ABLE TO INSTRUCT TO GET
THOSE HOURS, BUT ANOTHER PORTION
IS CROSS COUNTRY FLIGHTS, SO ME
AND A COUPLE OF PILOTS GET
TOGETHER AND WILL FLY LIKE
DIFFERENT CITIES AND YOU KNOW, A
MAIN CONTRIBUTE AN FACTOR TO
THAT WOULD BE WHETHER FOR THAT
DAY AND MAY BE WHERE WE WOULD
LIKE TO EAT, YOU KNOW, THOSE
TYPES OF THINGS.
>> Ellen: YOU CAN JUST FLY TO
SAN FRANCISCO TO GET SOMETHING
TO EAT IF YOU WANT, THAT'S A
BONUS.
SO THE FIRST TIME, YOU LEARN TO
FLY WITH SOMEONE, OBVIOUSLY
TRAINING WITH YOU IN TEACHING
YOU, WHAT IS THE FIRST TIME BY
YOURSELF IN A PLANE LIKE?
IS IT SCARY?
>> I WOULD CALL IT MORE
EXCITEMENT AND NERVOUSNESS THAN
SCARY, I CANNOT REALLY BELIEVE
THAT IT WAS ACTUALLY FLYING AN
AIRPLANE AT THE AGE OF 17 BY
MYSELF, IT'S ONE THING FOR YOUR
INSTRUCTOR TO BE LIKE, HEY,
OKAY, YOU'RE GOING TO FLY BY
YOURSELF ONE DAY, AND THEN YOU
ARE ACTUALLY DOING IT IN SITTING
THERE IN AN AIRPLANE ALL BY
YOURSELF, YOU KNOW, THAT WAS
LIKE REALLY EXCITING FOR ME.
>> Ellen: THAT'S AMAZING.
ALL RIGHT, WE WILL TAKE A BREAK.
TAHCHIONA, WE WILL TALK TO YOU
MORE AFTER THIS, OKAY?
>> OKAY!
>> Ellen: THANK YOU!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> Ellen: WE ARE BACK WITH
24-YEAR-OLD PILOT TAHCHIONA.
SO I HEARD THAT YOU FLEW OVER MY
HOMETOWN OF LOUISIANA, MY HOME
STATE, YES!
>> YES, I FLEW ACTUALLY TO
NEW ORLEANS LAST WEEK.
>> Ellen: OH, YEAH, HOW'S IT
LOOKING?
>> THE WEATHER WAS ACTUALLY
PRETTY NICE WHEN I FLEW THERE.
IT WAS CLEAR SKIES, PARTLY
CLOUDY A LITTLE BIT, BUT FOR THE
MOST PART IT WAS REALLY NICE
WEATHER.
>> Ellen: DID YOU STOP AND GET
SOMETHING TO EAT IN NEW ORLEANS?
>> YES, WE STOPPED AND GOT
CRAWFISH.
>> Ellen: I GOT YOU SOMETHING,
IT'S A TAILGATE KIT FOR THE NEXT
TIME YOU AND YOUR GRANDMA SPEND
A DAY AT THE AIRPORT AND IT HAS,
THANK YOU SO MUCH, ANDY.
IT HAS HOODIES AND ALL KINDS OF
LITTLE STUFF FOR YOU, AND WE
HAVE OH, LOOK, SOME POPCORN FOR
YOU, SOME HATS, WE ALSO HAVE
SOME TICKETS FOR YOU AND YOUR
GRANDMA WHEN YOU ARE ABLE TO
COME AND SIT IN MY SKYBOX WHEN
WE HAVE AUDIENCES AGAIN THAT YOU
AND GRANDMA CAN COME SIT HERE
AND THEN ONE MORE THING,
SHUTTERFLY LOVES HELPING PEOPLE
TELL THEIR INSPIRING STORIES
LIKE YOURS, THEY WANT TO GIVE
YOU $10,000!
>> OH, WOW, THANK YOU SO MUCH!
>> Ellen: YOU'RE SO WELCOME,
IT'S SO GREAT TALKING TO YOU.
I WANT TO THANK
MELISSA VILLASENOR, AND
TONES AND I.
AND THANK ALL OF YOU FOR
WATCHING.
I FEEL THE LOVE IN THIS ROOM.
I SEND IT BACK TO YOU.
GO OUT AND SPREAD IT AROUND IN
THE WORLD, EVERYBODY.
ALL RIGHT, BYE.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
♪ OH OH OH ♪
♪ TODAY'S THE DAY I'VE BEEN
WAITING FOR ♪
♪ TOMORROW WON'T COME AFTER
ALL ♪
♪ YESTERDAY IS SO FAR AWAY ♪
♪ AND TODAY IS THE ONLY DAY ♪
♪ SOMEBODY PLEASE STOP THE
CLOCK ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
♪ OH OH OH ♪
♪ DON'T EVER LET THIS DAY STOP ♪
♪ OH OH OH ♪
♪ I NEVER WANNA GO HOME ♪
♪ NO NO NO NO NO ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> Ellen: ANYWAY...