♪ OH OH OH ♪ ♪ TODAY'S THE DAY I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR ♪
♪ TOMORROW WON'T COME AFTER
ALL ♪
♪ YESTERDAY IS SO FAR AWAY ♪
♪ AND TODAY IS THE ONLY DAY ♪
♪ SOMEBODY PLEASE STOP THE
CLOCK ♪
>> Announcer: HERE SHE IS
NOW, ELLEN DeGENERES!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
♪ OH OH OH ♪
♪ DON'T EVER LET THIS DAY STOP ♪
♪ OH OH OH ♪
♪ I NEVER WANNA GO HOME ♪
♪ NO NO NO NO NO ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> Ellen: HELLO, EVERYBODY. HOW IS EVERYBODY DOING TODAY? GOOD.
WHEREVER YOU ARE IN THEIR HOMES?
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE
WITH ME.
Y'ALL KNOW I LOVE ANIMALS.
WHO DOESN'T LOVE ANIMALS?
THEY ARE AMAZING AND INCREDIBLE
THINGS WE SHOULD ALL APPRECIATE.
I'VE ALWAYS BEEN AMAZED BY THEIR
INTELLIGENCE.
THEY ARE VERY, VERY SMART.
RACCOONS CAN PICK LOCKS.
THEY HAVE THE LITTLE FINGERS.
THEY WASH THE FISH AND DO THAT
WITH THEIR LITTLE FINGERS, AND
RATS CAN SOLVE MAZES.
YOU PUT THEM IN THE MAZE, THEY
CAN FIGURE IT OUT.
MY DOG THIS YEAR DID MY TAXES.
[LAUGHTER]
AND I THINK HE MADE A MISTAKE,
BECAUSE I OWE A LOT.
[LAUGHTER]
SCIENTISTS ARE ALWAYS
DISCOVERING NEW INCREDIBLE
THINGS THAT ANIMALS CAN DO.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW ABOUT
THE CUTTLEFISH.
DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHAT A
CUTTLEFISH IS?
I'M SURE YOU HAVE SEEN THEM,
SOMEBODY RAISED THEIR HAND, THEY
LIVE IN SALT WATER AND ARE
RELATED TO THE SQUID AND OCTOPUS
WHICH ARE ALSO VERY, VERY SMART.
SO THEY DISCOVERED THAT THE
CUTTLEFISH ARE AS SMART AS HUMAN
CHILDREN, AND WAY LESS MESSY.
[LAUGHTER]
I HAVE NEVER SEEN A CUTTLEFISH
GET CHEERIOS ALL OVER THE BACK
OF MY CAR.
SO HERE'S WHAT THEY DID.
THEY GAVE THE CUTTLEFISH THE
MARSHMALLOW TEST.
FOR KIDS THE MARSHMALLOW TEST IS
THEY PUT THEM IN THE ROOM WITH
MARSHMALLOWS AND SAY YOU CAN'T
EAT THEM FOR 15 MINUTES.
IF YOU DON'T EAT IT, I WILL GIVE
YOU TWO MARSHMALLOWS.
I WILL BE HONEST, I WOULD HAVE A
HARD TIME PASSING THAT TEST --
[LAUGHTER]
BECAUSE I LOVE A MARSHMALLOW.
BUT THEY DID THE SAME THING WITH
THE CUTTLEFISH.
THEY LEARN TO THAT THEY WAITED
TO EAT THEIR FOOD, THEY WOULD
GET BETTER FOOD.
THAT'S CRAZY.
HE WOULD LOOK AT THAT AND THINK
IT DOES NOT HAVE ANY
INTELLIGENCE.
WE SHOULD NOT JUDGE THINGS BY
WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE.
THEY DISCOVERED SOMETHING ABOUT
HORSES, THEY FOUND OUT THEY CAN
RECOGNIZE THEMSELVES IN MIRRORS.
BECAUSE MOST ANIMALS LOOK AT
THEMSELVES IN A MIRROR AND THINK
THAT THEIR REFLECTION IS ANOTHER
ANIMAL AND THEY TRIED TO FIGHT
IT OR TO MATE WITH IT DEPENDING
ON THE MOOD THEY ARE IN.
[LAUGHTER]
IT'S A VERY THIN LINE BETWEEN
LOVE AND HATE, YOU GUYS.
[LAUGHTER]
AND WE KNOW THAT HORSES CAN
RECOGNIZE THEMSELVES, BECAUSE
WHEN THEY LOOK IN THE MIRROR,
THEY SAY HEY!
[LAUGHTER]
AND THEN THEY SAY WHY THE LONG
FACE?
ANY MORE HORSE JOKES?
YEA OR NAY?
NAY.
NOT ALL ANIMALS ARE AS SMART AS
HUMANS, SOMETIMES JUST AS
AGGRESSIVE EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE
SMART, THEY ARE AGGRESSIVE.
THIS IS AN AUSTRALIAN GEOLOGIST
BEAT UP THE ANGRIEST OCTOPUS ON
THE BEACH.
AND IT WAS IN AUSTRALIA, SO
SINCE IT WAS IN AUSTRALIA, THAT
WAS THE SIXTH ANIMAL OF THE DAY
HE HAD BEEN ATTACKED BY.
EVERYTHING WILL GET YOU IN
AUSTRALIA.
HE WAS WALKING ON THE BEACH AND
AN OCTOPUS REACHED OUT OF THE
WATER AND SLAPPED HIM WITH HIS
TENTACLES.
HE CAUGHT IT ON VIDEO.
HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED.
[WIND BLOWING]
>> OH, DOLLY!
[LAUGHTER]
>> Ellen: AND THAT'S WHAT HE
DID TO IT.
OH, GOLLY.
THAT'S NOT HOW I WOULD REACT.
AGAIN, IT WAS THE SIXTH ANIMAL
OF THE DAY.
WHAT WOULD MAKE AN OCTOPUS DO
THAT?
WAS IT A DARE FROM ANOTHER
OCTOPUS?
[LAUGHTER]
A GUY WALKING ON THE BEACH, GO
GET HIM.
THERE IS ANOTHER OCTOPUS ATTACK
THAT WAS CAUGHT ON VIDEO.
LOOK AT THIS ONE.
[SCREAMING]
[LAUGHTER]
SPEW ON THAT OTHER GUY GOT OFF
EASY.
LOOK AT THAT, TERRIBLE.
WE MAY NEVER KNOW WHY THE
OCTOPUS DID THAT.
ANIMALS ARE SMART AND TUNE IN
NEXT TIME WHEN I SHOW YOU A BEAR
PUTTING TOGETHER AN IKEA SHELF.
[LAUGHTER]
SPEAKING OF SMART, HERE IS
TWITCH!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] >> Ellen: I DROPPED IT LIKE IT
WAS HOT.
I THINK I GOT THE WRONG WORDS,
WHICH I DO MANY TIMES.
YOU SHOULD THINK ABOUT IT, TAKE
A SECOND, MATTER FACT --
>> YOU SHOULD TAKE FOUR BEAT.
>> Ellen: I THOUGHT IT WAS
TAKE TWO, AND IT DID NOT SOUND
LIKE THAT, WHEN I SAID TWO, HE
SAID FOUR.
AND I SAID, ONE OF US IS WRONG.
[LAUGHTER]
YOU KNOW WHAT IS HANDY, I WAS AT
SOME OF THESE HOUSE THIS WEEKEND
THEN YOU CAN LISTEN TO MUSIC ON
PANDORA AND THEY PLAY THE MUSIC
ON THE SCREEN WHILE YOU HEAR THE
SONG AND YOU CAN LEARN HOW WRONG
YOU HAVE BEEN ALL THESE YEARS.
>> EXACTLY.
>> Ellen: BECAUSE THE LYRICS
ARE --
>> DO YOU DO KARAOKE?
>> Ellen: I HAVE NOT DONE
KARAOKE IN YEARS, BUT WHO
DOESN'T LIKE KARAOKE?
>> ALL RAP SONGS.
>> Ellen: LET'S DO KARAOKE
TOGETHER ON THE SHOW.
TWITCH, YOU HAVE TATTOOS, RIGHT?
>> I DO.
>> Ellen: HOW MANY DO YOU
HAVE?
>> I HAVE FIVE, I SAID SIX
EARLIER, BUT IT IS FIVE.
>> Ellen: IT'S ONE THING IF
YOU HAD POST MALONE ALL OVER, HE
PROBABLY DOES NOT EVEN KNOW HOW
MANY HE HAS, BUT YOU HAVE SIX
RUSSIAN MARK >> I HAVE FIVE.
>> Ellen: WHAT ARE THEY?
>> REALLY QUICK IT, I KNOW IT'S
TAKING A LOT OF TIME.
I HAVE ONE THAT SAYS I AM, AND I
GOT ONE BEFORE ME IN ALLISON'S
WEDDING, AND COMPETING ON "SO
YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE."
I HAVE QUEENS CHESS PIECE RIGHT
HERE AND ANOTHER ONE THAT
ALLISON AND I DREW UP HERE AND
THEN I HAVE A WHOLE SLEEVE
DETAILING A LITTLE BIT OF FAMILY
HISTORY RIGHT HERE.
>> Ellen: YOU SEE, WOMEN WOULD
NEVER GET A TATTOO IN THAT AREA
UNLESS YOU ARE DOING CURTAINS OR
SOMETHING, BECAUSE REALLY, WHEN
YOU AGE, THAT IS NOT A GOOD
PLACE FOR WOMEN, NO MATTER HOW
MUCH YOU WORK OUT.
BUT THAT IS A GOOD IDEA IF ANY
WOMEN ARE THINKING OF DOING
TATTOOS RIGHT THERE, A CURTAIN,
LIKE A JURY.
[LAUGHTER]
MY FRIEND JUSTIN BIEBER DID AN
INTERVIEW WITH "VOGUE" WHERE HE
TALKED ABOUT HIS FAVORITE
TATTOOS.
HE HAS A LOT.
LAST TIME HE WAS HERE HE SHOWED
ME SOME.
HE SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED ME IN
THE ARTICLE.
ANYWAY, TAKE A LOOK.
HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU FIRST
GOT YOUR FIRST TATTOO?
>> WHEN I GOT MY FIRST TATTOO I
WAS 16.
>> Ellen: WHAT WAS IT?
>> IT WAS A LITTLE BIRD THE
SMALL THAT IS COVERED UP BY A
GIANT TATTOO HERE.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[LAUGHTER]
>> Ellen: OH, MY GOSH.
>> ALL RIGHT, GUYS, YOU'RE
CRAZY.
>> Ellen: I HAVE A TATTOO OF
JUSTIN AND I CAN'T SHOW, IT IS
NEAR MY BIEBER.
HERE IS SOMETHING I CAN SHOW
YOU, MY SPRING BE KIND BOX IS
FILLED WITH AMAZING PRODUCTS.
FIRST OF ALL IT HIGHLIGHTS
COMPANIES WHO ARE PUTTING GOOD
INTO THE WORLD.
ETHICALLY MADE, SUSTAINABLY
SOURCED, CRUELTY FREE.
WE HAVE A GOLD BRACELET --
>> ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOUR
NEW BE KIND BOX?
[LAUGHTER]
>> Ellen: YES, I AM, DAVE, I
AM DOING A SHOW RIGHT NOW.
>> I HAD TO COME OUT AND TELL
YOU HOW MUCH I LIKE THIS VEGAN
LEATHER PURSE.
[LAUGHTER]
THAT IS IN YOUR NEW SPRINGBOKS.
AND IT'S GREAT FOR ALL OF THE
THINGS BACKSTAGE.
>> Ellen: WHAT ELSE IS IN
THERE, DAVE, YOU KNOW PROCEEDS
GO TO THE SCHOOLS, THE CHILDREN
AND AFRICA AND THE SOLAR PANEL
BLIGHTS.
>> A NICE GLOBAL MASSAGER THAT
IS GOOD FOR YOUR FACE.
>> Ellen: HOW DOES THAT WORK?
YOU PUT IT IN THE FREEZER AND
THEN ON YOUR FACE?
>> YES, FREEZE IT.
NICE.
REUSABLE WATER BOTTLE.
AND IF YOU SPILL SOMETHING,
THERE ARE THESE LOVELY LINEN
TOWEL SETS.
>> Ellen: WHAT IS IT?
>> A LOVELY LINEN TOWELS SET
THAT YOU CAN USE TO CLEAN UP
ANYTHING OF SPILL.
>> Ellen: THANK YOU SO MUCH,
YOU HAVE THE GOLD BRACELET I WAS
ABOUT TO TALK ABOUT?
>> NO, I DON'T KNOW WHAT
HAPPENED TO IT.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Ellen: I KNOW WHERE IT IS.
THERE IT IS.
YEAH!
THE GREAT THING ABOUT THIS
BRACELET IS IT IS 100% OF THE
PROCEEDS FROM THIS WILL GO
TOWARDS PROVIDING CAREER
TRAINING AND FINANCIAL
INDEPENDENCE TO WOMEN IN NEED.
MY NEW SPRING BE KIND BOX IS
AVAILABLE RIGHT NOW AT THE LINK
I AM POINTING TO RIGHT THERE,
THERE IT IS.
RIGHT THERE.
YOU ARE POINTING ALSO.
YOU CAN GET YOURS TODAY FOR 30%
OFF AND EVERYONE IN MY VIRTUAL
AUDIENCE IS GETTING ONE.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
WE'LL BE BACK!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> CHEEK.
>> LINE?
>> Ellen: YOU ARE AN AMAZING
GUY, I KNOW THAT YOU USED TO
YOUR RENT TO PAY AND KEEP THAT
OPEN.
AND WE WANT TO
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> Ellen: THEY SAY UP HIGH IN
THE FACE IS WORTH TWO IN THE
BUSH.
A [LAUGHTER]
I DON'T THINK THAT'S THE SAYING,
IS IT?
LET'S PLAY DANGER WORD.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
OKAY!
ALL RIGHT, IT IS DANGER WORD,
WITH PIES.
TWO CONSISTENCE IN THE STUDIO
YOU ARE?
>> I'M BETH FROM CALIFORNIA.
>> Ellen: AND YOU ARE?
>> I AM ALEXANDRIA FROM
LONG BEACH, CALIFORNIA.
>> Ellen: DO YOU KNOW EACH
OTHER?
>> WE JUST MET.
>> WE ARE BEST FRIENDS.
>> Ellen: WE ARE BEST FRIENDS
TOO, BUT IT IS VERY COMPETITIVE.
BETH YOU WILL BE WITH TWITCH,
ALEXANDRIA, YOU WILL BE WITH ME,
WHILE MY PIE GUY IS BACKSTAGE
PREPARING THE PIES COMING HERE
AS A REFRESHER.
ONE WORD CLUES, DANGER WORD BAD.
PIES GO SPLAT.
WHOEVER STARTS WITH THE LETTER E
GOES FIRST, THAT'S ME.
HERE WE GO.
PUT YOUR GOGGLES ON.
HIGH.
>> CAKE.
>> KEY.
>> LIME?
[BELLRINGING.
>> Ellen: I WAS GOING TO GO
KEY NEXT.
I'M SO SORRY, ALEXANDRIA, HERE
COMES A PIPE.
IT IS PART OF THE GAME.
[LAUGHTER]
THAT WHEN I DID NOT WANT TO GO
FIRST.
ALL RIGHT, TWITCH, YOUR TURN.
>> DEAD.
>> GRAVE.
>> Ellen: WATER.
>> POOL.
>> OTTER.
>> OCEAN.
[BLEEP]!
BEYOND THE DANGER WORD WAS
OCEAN, THE WINNING WORD WAS SEA.
IT DEAD SEA.
ALL RIGHT, IT'S TIED.
[LAUGHTER]
YOU ARE SO CLOSE.
ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.
ALEXANDRIA!
>> YES!
>> Ellen: HOUR.
>> GLASS.
>> BARTENDER.
>> HOUR.
>> Ellen: MOJITO.
>> MARGARITO.
>> MIX.
>> COCKTAIL.
>> I'M SORRY THAT TOOK SO LONG!
[LAUGHTER]
>> Ellen: ALL RIGHT, IT IS
YOU, TWITCH.
>> WEED.
W-EE-EE-D.
>> POT.
>> Ellen: MARIJUANA.
>> BUD.
>> GREENER.
>> HEMP.
>> Ellen: GREEN.
>> GRASS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Ellen: WE ARE TIED UP.
[LAUGHTER]
ALL RIGHT, ALEXANDRIA, YOU HAVE
TO GET THIS ONE.
MAKEUP.
>> WHAT?
>> Ellen: MAKEUP.
>> MASCARA.
>> LIPGLOSS.
>> Ellen: STICK.
>> LIPSTICK.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
I WAS TRYING NOT TO GO FOR THE
OBVIOUS!
>> Ellen: OH, BOY!
SO MANY DIFFERENT TIES.
ALL RIGHT, YOU WIN IT,
ALEXANDRIA, YOU CAN BOTH WATCH
YOURSELF GET PIE-80 IN 4K.
YOU ARE EACH GETTING 66-INCH 4K
PCL TVs!
WE'LL BE BACK!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> JOINED HER CLASS WHICH WAS
ALL WOMEN AND I DO NOT WANT TO
BE ON CAMERA, BUT AFTER I GOT
PRETTY GOOD AT IT IS THAT YOU
CAN DO THIS.
>> ONE WAS COMING TOWARDS ME AND
I WAS LIKE IN MY GOING TO GET
HIT?
AND IT STOPPED RIGHT IN FRONT OF
ME.
AN
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> Ellen: OUR FIRST GUEST HAS
ACTED IN OVER 40 MOVIES AND 50
TV SHOWS, PLEASE WELCOME MY
FRIEND DON JOHNSON!
>> HI, ELLEN.
>> Ellen: I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE
YOU ON THE SHOW, IT'S EXCITING.
>> THIS IS FUN FOR ME.
I'M A FAN OF YOU AND THE SHOW,
SO WHEN I GET A CHANCE I TUNE IN
AND I WATCH YOU AND YOU ALWAYS
MAKE ME LAUGH AND YOU ARE STILL
THE FUNNIEST WOMAN ON
TELEVISION, LET'S FACE IT.
>> Ellen: THAT'S VERY NICE OF
YOU TO SAY, DON, YOU'RE STILL
THE MOST HANDSOME MAN ON
TELEVISION.
SO WE WERE IN A MOVIE TOGETHER
AND THEY REMIND ME OF THIS.
I COMPLETELY FORGOT THAT WE WERE
IN A MOVIE TOGETHER, IT WAS
1998.
>> YES, AND I RECALL, THE MOVIE
WAS CALLED "GOODBYE LOVER" AND I
RECALL THAT YOU MADE A CHOICE TO
BE FRUMPY IN THE MOVIE AND I
THOUGHT, WELL, THAT'S BRAVE.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Ellen: SHE WAS AN ANGRY COP
AND IT WORKED WAY TOO LONG I WAS
TIRED AND I JUST THOUGHT, SHE
JUST LET HERSELF GO.
I WORTHY IS DROOPY BREASTS AND A
BELLY AND I WALKED WITH A LIMP.
YEAH.
>> I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT
THE DETAILS, I'M JUST PLACE THE
DISCLAIMER RIGHT THERE, BUT I
REMEMBER THE CORN DOGS.
>> Ellen: I ATE A LOT OF CORN
DOGS IN ONE SCENE.
I THINK THAT THEY ARE SHOWING ME
EATING A LOT OF CORN DOGS.
40 TV SHOWS AND 50 MOVIES, AND
2020 WAS THEIR 50TH ANNIVERSARY
ANNIVERSARY OF THE BUSINESS!
AND STILL GOING STRONG!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> IT'S CRAZY.
IT'S LIKE I BLINKED AND THEN IT
WAS LIKE FIVE DECADES.
>> Ellen: YOU ARE SO KNOWN ALL
OVER THE WORLD.
WE WERE TOGETHER --
WAS IT ITALY?
WHERE WERE WE ON ABOUT THE
PEOPLE WERE TALKING ABOUT HOW
HANDSOME YOU ARE?
>> WE WERE IN ITALY AND I THINK
IF I RECALL CORRECTLY WHEN I
WERE SHOPPING AND WE WERE IN
THIS --
WE WALKED INTO A CLOTHING STORE
AND THE ITALIAN SALES LADIES
WERE VERY EXCITED TO SEE US AND
ONE OF THEM LOOKED UP TO ME AND
SAID, MR. JOHNSON,
CONGRATULATIONS ON THE WAY YOU
LOOK.
>> Ellen: I WAS TRYING TO
REMEMBER HOW THEY PHRASED IT, IT
WAS CONGRATULATIONS ON THE WAY
YOU LOOK.
THAT'S WONDERFUL.
HANDSOME, TALENTED, YOU HAVE
REALLY GOOD GENES, YOUR KIDS ARE
ALL TALENTED.
OBVIOUSLY.
AND NOW I HEAR YOUR SON IS LIKE
A REALLY GOOD BASKETBALL PLAYER.
>> YES, HE IS GIFTED.
HE IS THE ONE ON THE LEFT OVER
THERE.
>> Ellen: ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE
PEOPLE THAT SCREAM AT HIM FROM
THE STANDS?
DO YOU GO TO THE GAMES AND YELL?
>> YEAH, WELL, I HAVE BEEN CURED
OF THAT, BECAUSE I USED TO BE
THAT DAD.
DON'T MOVE YOUR FEET, DEFENSE,
MOVE YOUR FEET.
AND ONE TIME I WAS LIKE, JASPER,
JASPER AND HE TURNED TO ME AND
GOES WHAT!
>> Ellen: [LAUGHS]
>> OKAY, I GUESS I SHOULD JUST
SHUT UP.
>> Ellen: THAT'S WHAT -- ANDY
TALKS TO ME LIKE I AM NOT ON
TELEVISION.
I WILL JUST KEEP TALKING AND HE
WILL SAY SOMETHING TO ME.
SO YOU ARE DOING YOGA WHICH DOES
NOT SURPRISE ME, BECAUSE YOU ARE
IN GREAT SHAPE AND HE REALLY DO
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, BUT
WHAT --
YOU HAVE SOMEBODY COME IN THE
HOUSE?
HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT?
>> WITH KELLY, MY WIFE KELLY,
YOU KNOW KELLY, SHE HAS BEEN
DOING --
WHEN THE PANDEMIC STARTED, WE
MADE A VOW TO EACH OTHER THAT WE
WOULD DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR
OURSELVES EVERY DAY.
AND SO STARTED MEDITATING IN
EARNEST EVERY DAY.
I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A PRACTITIONER,
BUT DOING IT EVERY DAY IS --
HAS SOME EXTRAORDINARY BENEFITS
THAT I HAVE REAPED OVER THE
COURSE OF THE PAST YEAR.
AND SHE STARTED DOING YOGA.
AND A FEW MONTHS INTO IT I SAW
HOW AMAZING HER BODY WAS LOOKING
AND I SAID, MAYBE I SHOULD GET
IN ON THIS.
AND AT FIRST I JOINED HER CLASS,
WHICH WAS ALL WOMEN, AND I DID
NOT WANT TO BE ON CAMERA, BUT
AFTER I GOT PRETTY GOOD AT IT I
SAID, YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND
INCLUDE ME.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Ellen: SO YOU ARE GOOD AT
IT?
>> I HAVE GOTTEN PRETTY DARN
GOOD AT IT.
BUT I DON'T THINK I'M GOING TO
MAKE A CAREER OUT OF IT.
I'M NOT A BONA FIDE YOGI.
>> Ellen: ARE YOU FLEXIBLE?
>> AMAZINGLY SO.
>> Ellen: THAT HELPS THAT YOU
ARE FLEXIBLE.
I'M GOING TO START DOING YOGA I
DECIDED NOT TO LONG AGO, AND I
HAVEN'T YET, BUT I WILL.
I DECIDED THAT I WILL.
[LAUGHTER]
>> THAT'S A GOOD FIRST STEP.
>> Ellen: EXACTLY.
IT JUST DECIDING.
AND THEN THE NEXT THING IS I
WILL DO IT.
[LAUGHTER]
ALL RIGHT, WE ARE TAKING A BREAK
AND WE WILL BE BACK AND TALK
SOME MORE.
WE WILL BE BACK.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
HI, OSCAR.
YOU ARE AN AMAZING GUY, I KNOW
THAT YOU USED YOUR RENTED TO
KEEP THAT OPEN AND WE WANT TO
HELP.
>> DON'T BE TOO JUDGMENTAL.
>> OH, PLEASE, I'M SURE I HAVE
SEEN WORSE.
THAT THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL.
>> THANK YOU.
>> I AM SO SORRY THAT I EVER
MADE FUN OF YOU.
>> DON'T LOOK AT MY FEET.
THERE COULD BE BARNACLES ON
THEM.
>> THEY ARE STUNNING.
>> REALLY?
>> STUNNING.
>> THEY LOOK NEW, DO YOU EVEN
WALK THOSE THINGS?
>> Ellen: WE ARE BACK WITH
DON JOHNSON FROM HIS NEW SHOW
"KENAN," THIS IS YOUR VERY FIRST
SITCOM WHICH I AM SURPRISED
ABOUT, BUT I AM GLAD YOU ARE
DOING IT.
TELL EVERYBODY ABOUT THE SHOW.
>> WELL, THE MARKETING LINE IS
IT TAKES THREE MEN TO RAISE TWO
CHILDREN, THOSE TWO LITTLE
GIRLS, I PLAY THEIR MATERNAL
GRANDFATHER AND KEENAN IS THEIR
FATHER AND THEN CHRIS READ PLAYS
HIS BROTHER AND MANAGER, AND S3
WACKOS ARE CHARGED WITH TAKING
CARE OF THOSE TWO GORGEOUS
LITTLE GIRLS WHO ARE SO FUNNY
AND SO FULL OF LOVE AND SO FULL
OF ENERGY THAT YOU COME IN AND
THE MORNING AND YOU JUST GO, NO
MATTER WHAT CONDITION YOU ARE
AND YOU TAKE A LOOK AT THEM AND
YOU ARE GOING, OH, LIFE IS JUST
GREAT.
AND I DON'T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT
ANY OF THAT CRAZY STUFF OF WHAT
IS GOING ON.
AND WE ARE HAVING A LOT OF FUN.
>> Ellen: YOU ARE WEARING SOME
VERY BRIGHT COLORS!
>> OH, YEAH.
YEAH, YOU KNOW, MY CHARACTER IS
A HORN PLAYER.
HE TRAVELED IN BANDS AND TOWARD
AND BANDS AND STUFF LIKE THAT,
AND I HAVE SOME EXPERIENCE IN
THAT.
AND I HAVE NOTICED OVER THE
YEARS THAT HORN PLAYERS ARE
COLORFUL PEOPLE AND WHERE
COLORFUL CLOSE.
SOMETIMES THINGS THAT DON'T
MATCH, POLKA DOTS WITH CHECKERS
AND THINGS LIKE THAT.
AND SO I ADOPTED THIS SORT OF
STREET FASHION THING, AND THE
BENEFIT OF ITS IS THAT I WEAR
SWEATPANTS THE WHOLE TIME.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Ellen: THAT'S A GOOD CHOICE
AND A REALLY GOOD CHOICE WHEN
YOU ARE WORKING THAT YOU ARE
WEARING SWEATPANTS.
IT'S SMART.
YOU'RE WORKING ON SOMETHING
RIGHT NOW THAT FANS WILL BE
EXCITED ABOUT.
TELL EVERYBODY WHAT YOU'RE DOI
DOING.
>> WE ARE IN HEAVY PREP FOR A
REBOOT OF "NASH BRIDGES."
THANK YOU!
SO WE FIND NASH SOME YEARS LATER
AND GOING TO COME BACK AND JOIN
ME AND JEFF.
THE GENTLEMAN ON THE RIGHT, AND
WE HAVE A PRETTY EXCITING SHOW
THAT WE ARE PREPPING IN
SAN FRANCISCO RIGHT NOW.
>> Ellen: THAT'S AMAZING, DON.
IT'S A SHAME YOU CAN'T FIND
WORK, BECAUSE AFTER 50 YEARS,
JUST REALLY NOT A YEAR GOES BY
THAT YOU DON'T HAVE A PROJECT.
IT'S AMAZING.
SO GOOD FOR YOU!
>> I'M JUST STRUGGLING ALONG
HERE.
>> Ellen: CONGRATULATIONS ON
THE WAY YOU LOOK.
[LAUGHTER]
"KENAN" AIRS TUESDAYS AT 8:30.
I HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON, MY LOVE
TO KELLY.
>> INC. YOU SO MUCH, LOVE YOU.
>> Ellen: ALL RIGHT, WE'LL
WE'LL BE BACK!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> ONCE THE CAR WAS COMING
TOWARDS ME AND I WAS LIKE IN MY
GOING TO GET HIT?
AND IT STOPPED JUST SHORT OF ME
AND THE MAN LEANED DOWN AND WENT
ALMOST NAILED IT!
>> Ellen: OH, MY GOD.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪ YEAH.
>> Ellen: MAYBE YOU SHOULD
TELL US ABOUT THIS NEW PROGRAM
YOU'RE ON.
>> Announcer: FROM "THE
MIGHTY DUCKS" LAUREN GRAHAM,
NEXT NEW "ELLEN."
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> Ellen: OUR NEXT GUEST IS
THE HOST OF "NAILED IT" AND TO
THE NEW TV SHOW "WIPEOUT."
>> INFLUENCES LIKE ME.
HOW ARE ALL OF MY FOLLOWERS
DOING TODAY?
>> JUST POSTING.
BY MYSELF.
>> GET OUT OF HERE.
>> WE HAVE THE DOPE US TO
COLLAPSE WITH OTHER INFLUENCERS
LIKE JENNA HERE.
AND A TRAVEL BLOG HAS BEEN
INSANE!
COMING FOR THE BIG TRIP, STAY
FOR THE BEAUTY TIP!
BE SURE YOU HIT THAT RIDE BUTTON
BEFORE IT HITS YOU.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Ellen: PLEASE WELCOME
NICOLE BYER!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
THANKS FOR BEING HERE. >> NO PROBLEM. >> Ellen: YOU ARE HERE AND OUT
OF YOUR HOUSE, ARE YOU HAPPY?
>> I'M SO HAPPY.
I LOVE BEING OUT OF MY HOUSE!
[LAUGHTER]
>> Ellen: WE CAN'T HUG, BUT I
AM SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU AND I
LOVE THAT DRESS.
>> ISN'T IT STUNNING?
>> Ellen: SHOULD YOU SAY WHO
IT IS?
YOU DON'T KNOW.
>> YOU KNOW --
I DON'T.
>> Ellen: WE WILL FIND OUT.
>> WHEN I POST ON INSTAGRAM, I
WILL REDEEM MYSELF.
>> Ellen: YOU ARE THE HOST OF
"NAILED IT."
I ASSUME THAT DAILY THEY SAY IT
TO YOU.
IT'S BECAUSE THEY LOVE SCREAMING
AT ME, WHICH IS LIKE NICE THAT
THEY LIKE IT, BUT COME ON,
PLEASE STOP IT!
ONCE A CAR WAS COMING TOWARDS ME
AND I WAS LIKE AT MY GOING TO
GET HIT?
AND IT STOPPED IN FRONT OF ME
AND TO THE MAN WHO ALMOST HIT ME
WENT ALMOST NAILED IT!
I WAS LIKE THAT'S TERRIFYING!
AND THE MY DOCTOR, I DID SURGERY
ON MY ANKLE BECAUSE I FELL DOWN
THE STAIRS AND MY FOOT WAS ON
BACKWARDS.
IT SO I HAD SURGERY AND MY
DOCTOR PUT SCREWS IN IT.
WHEN I SAW HIM WHEN I WOKE UP A
COUPLE OF HOURS LATER, HE WAS
LIKE NAILED IT.
AND I WAS LIKE NOTHING COULD BE
WORSE.
>> Ellen: THERE WILL BE THE
REST OF YOUR LIFE,
UNFORTUNATELY.
>> IT'S OKAY, YEP.
>> Ellen: I'M GLAD THAT YOU
ARE OUT OF YOUR BOOT, IT'S GOOD
THAT YOU ARE WALKING.
SO BECAUSE OF THE SHOW NOW YOU
HAVE LOTS OF KIDS THAT ARE YOUR
FANS.
>> YEAH, "WIPEOUT," NAILED IT, I
GUESS I AM A KID'S HOST, BUT MY
STAND-UP IS NOT REALLY KID
FRIENDLY OR DAYTIME FRIENDLY
EITHER.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT PEOPLE ASKED ME TO HOST THE
THEMED PARTIES AND I'M LIKE I
WILL DO IT, FOR A PRICE,
$1 MILLION.
OKAY!
AND EVERYTHING IS ALL A CART.
IF YOU WANT A HUG, THAT'S MORE.
IF YOU WANT THE FULL THING ME
DRESSING UP --
THAT'S MORE.
>> Ellen: HOW MANY HAVE YOU
BOOKED?
>> NONE.
I THINK IT'S A LITTLE TOO
EXPENSIVE.
>> Ellen: WHEN YOU SAY STAND
UP, YOU MUST, ESPECIALLY PEOPLE
WHO DO STAND UP HAD TO GET SHUT
DOWN FOR A YEAR, BUT YOU ARE
DOING IT AGAIN, RIGHT?
>> YES, SHE IS BACK AT IT, DOING
OUTDOOR SHOWS.
MY FIRST SHOW BACK I WAS IN THE
MIDDLE OF THIS JOKE THAT IS A
YEAR OLD.
YOU TELL IT FOR A YEAR AND YOU
KNOW IT.
MIDWAY THROUGH I WAS LIKE WHAT'S
NEXT?
SO THEN I OPEN MY JOKE NOTEBOOK
AND I WAS LIKE THAT'S OKAY,
THAT'S IT.
IT'S GOOD.
TO BUCKLE UP, IT WILL GET REALLY
GOOD.
I STARTED IT AGAIN AND I WAS
LIKE I FORGOT, SO IT IS GOING
WELL.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Ellen: WE DON'T HAVE THE
LUXURY, SINGERS CAN PUT THE MIC
OUT AND THEY SAYING, AND WE
COULD PUT THE MIC OUT IF THEY
KNOW YOU'RE A BIT AND THEY CAN
DO THE BIT BACK TO YOU.
>> THAT WOULD BE NICE.
>> Ellen: I THINK I WOULD
FORGET MY STUFF.
IF YOU CAN HAVE A NOTEBOOK OPEN,
THAT'S VERY HELPFUL.
>> I WILL START DOING THAT.
>> Ellen: THAT CAN BE YOUR
THING.
>> WHERE'S YOUR NOTEBOOK?
RIGHT HERE!
WHAT A WEIRD THING TO BE OPENED
FOR, HER LITTLE NOTEBOOK.
>> Ellen: SHE IS THE ONE THAT
READS FROM THE NOTEBOOK.
SO "WIPEOUT," THAT SHOW LOOKS
FUN, ALSO IMPOSSIBLE.
>> YEAH.
>> Ellen: DOES ANYONE EVER GET
THROUGH THE OBSTACLES?
>> PEOPLE DO GET THROUGH, BUT
NOT WITHOUT FALLING DOWN,
FALLING IN THE WATER, CRAWLING
BACK UP, AND THEN SOMETIMES
PEOPLE GET SO CLOSE AND ARE LIKE
YOU ARE GOING TO DO IT, AND THEN
KNOW, AND THEN THEY FALL AND YOU
FEEL FOR THEM.
AND THEIR BODY BENDS IN SUCH
INCREDIBLE WAYS.
>> Ellen: AND IT IS YOU AND
JOHN CENA, WHAT IS THAT LIKE
WORKING WITH HIM?
>> WHAT A TREAT.
I'M SURE HE HAD NO IDEA WHO I
WAS.
AND THIS IS A NICE LADY, OH, SHE
IS THE COHOST BUSTER MARK OKAY.
BUT HE IS SO NICE.
I REALLY LIKE HIM.
AND HE SMELLS RICH.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
[LAUGHTER]
YOU GET CLOSE TO SOMEONE AND YOU
ARE LIKE OH, YOU HAVE THE MONEY.
AT THIS SCENT IS EVERYTHING.
>> Ellen: A RICH SMELL.
YES, YOU'RE FANTASTIC, COME BACK
ANYTIME.
IT'S "WIPEOUT" THAT ERRORS AT
9:00 ON TBS.
AND NAILED IT IS AVAILABLE ON
NETFLIX.
>> IS THERE VODKA IN IT?
>> Ellen: YES, TAKE IT!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
YOU ARE AN AMAZING GUY, I KNOW
THAT YOU USED YOUR RENT TO PAY
TO KEEP THAT OPEN, AND WE WANT
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪ >> Ellen: A FEW WEEKS AGO I
SAW A VIDEO POSTED BY OSCAR
RODRIGUEZ, A LOCAL BUSINESS
OWNER WHO HAS BEEN STRUGGLING TO
KEEP HIS BUSINESS OPEN DURING
THE PANDEMIC.
TAKE A LOOK.
>> I JUST WANT TO SAY
GOOD MORNING TO ALL OF YOU.
AND THIS IS ME REACHING OUT TO
WHERE EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT I
KNOW OF AS A FRIEND I BLOCKED MY
FIRST RESTAURANT.
BUT AT THIS POINT THE REALITY
OF -- I'M REALLY STRUGGLING.
I NEED HELP.
I DON'T WANT TO CLOSE MY DOORS.
I WANT TO KEEP GOING.
I DO BELIEVE IN THIS BEAUTIFUL
RESTAURANT.
>> Ellen: I WANT TO HELP, SO I
SENT JEANNIE TO HIS RESTAURANT
IN LONG BEACH.
JEANNIE, HI.
>> HI, ELLEN, HELLO!
>> Ellen: YOU'RE SUPPRESSING
PEOPLE AGAIN, ISN'T THAT FUN?
>> I'VE NOT BEEN THIS HAPPY IN
MONTHS.
I'M SO EXCITED TO BE HERE WITH
YOU, AND IN JUST A FEW DOORS
DOWN FROM THE RESTAURANT RIGHT
NOW, SO EXCITED TO MEET HIM FROM
A SAFE DISTANCE, BUT I AM READY
AND SO EXCITED!
>> Ellen: I WILL CALL OSCAR
AND GET THEM TO COME OUTSIDE.
I WILL SURPRISE HIM.
I'M SURPRISED AT THIS PHONE
STILL WORKS.
WE SHOULD --
WHENEVER WE FINISH THE SHOW, WE
SHOULD AUCTION THE PHONE OFF,
BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN A STAPLE.
[LAUGHTER]
HI, IS THIS OSCAR?
>> YES.
>> Ellen: I'M LOOKING TO PLACE
AN ORDER FOR TAKEOUT, WOULD THAT
BE POSSIBLE?
>> OF COURSE, WHAT CAN I DO FOR
YOU?
>> Ellen: QUESADILLA, ONE
BEING BRITO, 20 MARGARITAS TO
GO.
DO YOU NEED A NAME?
>> YEAH, GIVE ME ONE SECOND.
YOU SAID ONE QUESADILLA?
>> Ellen: IT'S FOR
ELLEN DeGENERES!
>> OH, WOW, OH, MY GOD.
ELLEN!
>> Ellen: FORGET THAT ORDER,
GO OUTSIDE.
JEANNIE IS WAITING FOR YOU
OUTSIDE!
>> OH, MY GOD, ELLEN, I LOVE YOU
SO MUCH!
>> Ellen: GO OUTSIDE, OSCAR!
>> OSCAR!
>> Ellen: HE IS MAKING MY
QUESADILLA!
[LAUGHTER]
>> OSCAR, COME OUT HERE AND SAY
HI TO ELLEN!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Ellen: HI, OSCAR!
>> I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART.
>> Ellen: SO I SAW YOUR VIDEO,
I WANTED TO SURPRISE YOU, TELL
EVERYBODY WHO IS WITH YOU.
THESE ARE YOUR VOLUNTEERS, RIG
RIGHT?
>> HI, MY NAME IS ALMA, IT IS A
PLEASURE.
AT ELLEN, IT IS AN HONOR!
I LOVE YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR IN
EVERYTHING YOU OFFER.
THANK YOU FOR HAVING US.
>> Ellen: THINK YOU!
>> I AM SHELLEY AND A VOLUNTEER
WORKING WITH DEB REGISTER AND
ANYTHING ELSE.
BUT ELLEN, YOUR DANCING MAKES ME
HAPPY, AND I AM GLAD THAT YOU
BRING LIFE TO CELEBRITIES TO
MAKE THEM REAL WITH HOW HUMOROUS
YOU ARE.
>> Ellen: THANKS.
>> I VOLUNTEER AND HELP WITH THE
SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORM, AND I
DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO
YOU!
YOU ARE JUST AMAZING AND I LOVE
YOU AND YOU ARE JUST AWESOME!
>> Ellen: THANK YOU SO MUCH,
TELL US ABOUT THE GRILL.
WHEN DID YOU OPEN IT?
>> I OPENED THE GRILL IN
FEBRUARY OF 2020, IT IS AN
AUTHENTIC MEXICAN RESTAURANT,
RESTAURANT RECIPE IS FROM MY
GRANDMOTHER AND GRANDFATHER WHO
IS WATCHING.
MY GRANDPARENTS LOVE YOU AND I
LOVE YOU.
>> Ellen: THE PANDEMIC HAS
AFFECTED YOU --
OBVIOUSLY, WE SAW HOW HARD THAT
WAS FOR YOU TO ASK FOR HELP, BUT
TELL US HOW THE PANDEMIC HAS
AFFECTED YOU SPECIFICALLY.
>> IT HAS BEEN TO THE POINT
WHERE YOU HAVE TO ROB PETER TO
PAY PAUL, YOU KNOW, WHEN I MADE
THAT VIDEO I HONESTLY JUST GOT
$50 AND I WENT IN THE WALK-IN
AND I STARTED CRYING, BECAUSE IT
WAS NOTHING.
AND WHEN YOU HAVE A RESTAURANT,
EVERYTHING IS FULL, BUT I HAD
NO --
THE MAIN MEETS, ANYTHING OF THAT
I HAD NOTHING ELSE AND NO MONEY
FOR THE NEXT DAY.
IT IS MY DREAM, IT'S WHAT I LOVE
DOING, IT'S ALL ME.
IT IS WHAT I AM ABOUT.
>> Ellen: WELL, WE ARE SO GLAD
THAT WE CAN HELP.
WE ARE GOING TO TAKE A BREAK AND
TALK TO YOU SOME MORE AFTER
THIS, OKAY?
WE WILL BE BACK.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> Ellen: WE ARE BACK WITH THE
JEANNIE, OSCAR, AND HIS TEAM AT
MOLITO'S GRILL IN LONG BEACH.
YOU WERE THE FIRST PEOPLE TO
HELP?
>> THAT IS RIGHT.
SOMETHING TOLD ME THAT I NEEDED
TO COME ON WHEN THAT VIDEO WAS
RELEASED AND WE WERE PACKED.
I CALLED ANYBODY THAT I COULD
AND ANYBODY WHO WOULD WORK FOR
TACOS.
AND THAT'S HOW I WAS ABLE TO
PULL SHELLEY.
>> Ellen: YOU ARE AN AMAZING
GUY AND I KNOW THAT YOU USED
YOUR RENT TO PAY TO KEEP THAT
OPEN AND WE WANT TO HELP.
THE PANDEMIC HAS BEEN HARD ON
EVERYONE AND WE WANT TO MAKE
SURE THAT YOU KEEP YOUR DOORS
OPEN.
OUR FRIENDS AT SHUTTERFLY CARE
ABOUT SUPPORTING BUSINESSES IN
NEED, SO THEY ARE GIVING YOU A
CHECK FOR $10,000!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
HEY, OSCAR!
YOU SERVE LUNCH, RIGHT?
>> YES.
>> Ellen: I WANT TO FEED MY
ENTIRE STAFF TOMORROW, WE ARE
GOING TO --
SOMEONE IS GOING TO CALL YOU AND
PLACE AN ORDER AND WE WILL SEND
OVER A FOOD FROM YOUR RESTAURANT
FOR EVERYBODY HERE.
IT'S ON ANDY.
[LAUGHTER]
[APPLAUSE]
>> I LOVE YOU, THANK YOU.
>> Ellen: I LOVE YOU TOO,
OSCAR!
YOU HANG IN THERE, YOU ARE A
GOOD MAN PAIRED I WANT
.
TO THANK DON JOHNSON AND NICOLE BYER AND
ALL OF YOU FOR WATCHING. I FEEL THE LOVE IN THIS ROOM AND
SEND IT BACK TO YOU.
GO AROUND AND SPREAD IT AROUND
IN THE WORLD EVERYWHERE.
LET'S FEEL IT EVERYWHERE.
GOODBYE, EVERYBODY!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
♪ OH OH OH ♪
♪ TODAY'S THE DAY I'VE BEEN
WAITING FOR ♪
♪ TOMORROW WON'T COME AFTER
ALL ♪
♪ YESTERDAY IS SO FAR AWAY ♪
♪ AND TODAY IS THE ONLY DAY ♪
♪ SOMEBODY PLEASE STOP THE
CLOCK ♪
♪ OH OH OH ♪
♪ DON'T EVER LET THIS DAY STOP ♪
♪ OH OH OH ♪
♪ I NEVER WANNA GO HOME ♪
♪ NO NO NO NO NO ♪
>> Ellen: ANYWAY...