♪ OH OH OH ♪ ♪ TODAY'S THE DAY I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR ♪
♪ TOMORROW WON'T COME AFTER
ALL ♪
♪ YESTERDAY IS SO FAR AWAY ♪
♪ AND TODAY IS THE ONLY DAY ♪
♪ SOMEBODY PLEASE STOP THE
CLOCK ♪
>> Announcer: HERE SHE IS
NOW, ELLEN DeGENERES!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
♪ I NEVER WANNA GO HOME ♪
♪ NO NO NO OH OH OH ♪
♪ NO NO NO NO NO ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> Ellen: HI, EVERYBODY. HI, THANKS A LOT, BACK AT YOU. A FEW WEEKS AGO I CHALLENGED
ANDY AND MARY TO A FRIENDLY GAME
OF THE DANGER WORD, IT WAS MORE
SERIOUS THAN ANY OF US COULD'VE
IMAGINED.
DANGER WORDS WERE SAID, TWITCH
AND I LOST, WHICH WAS COMPLETELY
UNACCEPTABLE, SO WE HAD A
REMATCH.
TWITCH AND I WERE VICTORIOUS IT.
AND I HAVE BEEN RIDING THE HIGH
EVER SINCE.
IN CASE YOU MISSED ANY OF THE
EPIC BATTLE, HERE'S A RECAP.
♪ ♪
[LAUGHTER]
[GRUNTING]
>> Ellen: COW.
>> THE DANGER WORD.
[LAUGHTER]
>> WE WON, YES!
STICKS!
>> POPSICLES.
>> Ellen: NIGHTGOWN.
>> LINGERIE.
>> Ellen: YES!
YES!
[LAUGHTER]
PUNISHMENT.
>> SPANKING.
>> Ellen: YES!
YES!
>> STUB.
>> FINGER?
>> Ellen: LOWER.
>> TOE.
>> Ellen: YES!
FOR THE WIN!
[APPLAUSE]
>> WHO STUBS THEIR FINGER?
[LAUGHTER]
>> Ellen: ALL RIGHT!
SO IT'S EVEN.
IT'S TIME TO SETTLE THIS ONCE
AND FOR ALL.
LET'S PLAY DANGER WORD THE
REMATCH OF THE REMATCH.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
[LAUGHTER] ♪ ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Ellen: ALL RIGHT!
HERE ARE THE RULES.
ONE WORD CLUES, DANGER WORD BAD,
PIES GO SPLAT.
MAY THE BEST TALK SHOW HOST AND
FAKE D.J. WIN.
>> ALL RIGHT, LET'S ROLL.
>> Ellen: Y'ALL WENT FIRST
LAST TIME, SO THIS TIME I WILL
START.
SOMETIMES THAT CAN BE A
DISADVANTAGE AS WE KNOW.
ALL RIGHT.
♪ ♪
TWITCH, HANDLES.
♪ ♪ >> LOVE. >> Ellen: WHAT DID YOU SAY?
>> LOVE.
>> WATER.
>> JUG.
>> Ellen: KITCHEN.
>> FAUCET.
>> Ellen: YES.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> THERE'S NO WAY YOU AREN'T
CHEATING.
SOMEONE IS IN YOUR EAR
OR SOMETHING.
COME ON.
>> Ellen: I COULD SEE YOU
THINKING SINK, THAT WAS THE
DANGER WORD.
>> AS SOON AS KITCHEN.
[APPLAUSE]
>> [LAUGHS]
>> Ellen: ALL RIGHT, ANDY, YOU
GO FIRST.
>> ANDY, I CAN NO LONGER SEE
YOU.
>> SWASHBUCKLING.
>> PIRATE.
>> Ellen: WEAPON.
>> MUSKET?
>> CROSS.
>> CROSS?
SWORD?
>> Ellen: YES.
>> WHAT IS CROSS?
>> CROSS SWORDS, WE CROSSED
SWORDS.
IT'S AN EXPRESSION.
>> I IGNORED IT.
[LAUGHTER]
>> [LAUGHS]
>> SO GOOD, LET'S GO, TWO MORE.
YOU GO FIRST?
>> Ellen: I GO FIRST.
LOGS.
>> LOGS?
>> Ellen: YEAH!
>> TIMBER.
>> HAIRY.
>> BRAWNY?
>> Ellen: CHEW.
>> CHEW?
>> Ellen: YES.
>> BEAVER.
>> Ellen: YES!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> THERE'S NO WAY.
>> NICELY DONE.
OKAY, THIS IS NOT NECESSARY.
>> Ellen: I WAS SCARED IF I
SAID ANIMAL YOU WOULD SAY DAM
WHICH WAS THE DANGER WORD.
AS SOON AS IT WAS BEAVER, HE
STARTED LAUGHING RIGHT AWAY AND
I THOUGHT IF YOU SAW IT YOU
WOULD KNOW WHAT IT IS.
YOU GO FIRST.
>> I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING.
>> YOKE.
YOKE.
>> EGG.
>> Ellen: CONTROL.
>> AUX. >> FLY. >> HELICOPTER.
>> Ellen: PILOT.
>> PROPELLER? >> FRONT. >> COCKPIT.
>> Ellen: YES.
IT MAKES TOTAL SENSE.
SURE.
>> ONCE YOU START THINKING ABOUT
IT.
>> Ellen: OF COURSE.
[LAUGHTER]
WHAT YOKE WAS.
>> IT'S CALLED THE YOKE THAT YOU
FLY.
YOU ARE NOT A FLYER LIKE I AM.
[LAUGHTER]
THIS IS IT.
>> Ellen: WE ARE TIED.
>> OH, GOD.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Ellen: THAT'S GREAT ON YOUR
BEARD.
OKAY, TWITCH FOR THE WIN.
SILENT.
>> NIGHT.
>> ACTOR.
>> BLUNT? >> Ellen: TWITCH, PERFORMER. >> MOVIE?
>> MUSEUM.
>> MIME.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Ellen: PUT YOUR GOGGLES BACK ON. WHY DO SOME I'M AT A MUSEUM?
>> BECAUSE WE GREW UP IN THE
EAST SIDE OF MANHATTAN AND ROBIN
WILLIAMS WAS IN MY AT A MUSEUM.
HOW IS THAT CHEATING?
>> WHEN YOU SAY PERFORMER I KNEW
IT WAS A MINE.
I WAS JUST HOPING HE WOULD NOT
SAY THE DANGER WORD.
>> Ellen: WE ARE NOT DONE.
>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
[LAUGHTER]
WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU
GUYS HAD ONE?
>> Ellen: THEN WE WOULD BE
DONE.
ANDY, WE ARE STILL ON TELEVISION
AND YOU ARE IN FRONT OF THE
CAMERA.
[LAUGHTER]
I KNOW IT SEEMS LIKE WE ARE NOT
ON TELEVISION, BUT WE HAVE BEEN
DOING IT THIS WAY.
>> TRYING TO CONTAIN THE JOY.
>> WE ARE HEADED IN THE SHOW.
>> LONG STORY SHORT, WE WON, HE
LOST.
LET'S GO TO BREAK.
>> Ellen: WE WILL BE BACK.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> CAN EVEN CONCEIVE OF SEVEN YEARS HOSTING A TELEVISION SHOW, ELLEN.
>> Ellen: I CANNOT IMAGINE
WHAT THAT IS LIKE SEVEN YEARS.
I HEAR THAT YOU WANT TO BE A
TALK SHOW HOST, AND I SAY YES TO
THAT.
WHY WOULD YOU NOT WANT TO DO
THAT?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ ♪ >> Ellen: OUR FIRST GUEST IS A
VERY FUNNY HOST OF "LATE NIGHT
WITH SETH MEYERS.
TAKE A LOOK.
>> VACATION RENTAL COMPANY
Booking.com WILL OFFER FANS OF
THE SITCOM "FRIENDS" A CHANCE TO
HAVE AN OVERNIGHT STAY IN THE
REPLICA OF THE NEW YORK CITY
APARTMENT.
IF YOU HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO
SPEND THE NIGHT AT MONICA'S
APARTMENT, JUST TELL HER, MA'AM.
A STRIP CLUB IN LAS VEGAS
OFFERING CORONAVIRUS, THEY WILL
HAVE MADERA AND ASTRAZENECA.
BUT JUST KNOW THAT THEIR REAL
NAMES ARE CYNTHIA AND BETH.
>> Ellen: PLEASE WELCOME SETH
MEYERS.
>> HELLO.
>> Ellen>> Ellen: HEY, SETH.
>> IT'S SO LOVELY TO SEE YOU,
ELLEN.
>> Ellen: LOVELY TO SEE YOU AS
WELL, I WISH IT WAS IN PERSON,
BUT I SEE THAT YOU ARE SHOOTING
FROM YOUR STUDIO.
DO YOU DO IT ANY MINUTE NOW?
>> WE WRAPPED UP OUR SHOW,
TAKING ADVANTAGE OF OUR TIME
SLOT HERE IN NEW YORK CITY, SO
THIS IS A WONDERFUL WAY FOR ME
TO END MY DAY.
>> Ellen: YOU ARE THREE HOURS
AHEAD, I THOUGHT IT WAS ALL
ABOUT US HERE ON "ELLEN."
WE JUST LIVE IN OUR TIME ZONE.
LAST TIME YOU WERE ON MY SHOW
YOU HAD ANOTHER SON AND I SAW
THIS PICTURE OF BOTH OF THEM
PLAYING THE PIANO.
I'M HOPING THEY KNOW HOW TO PLAY
PIANO, IF NOT THAT'S REALLY JUST
NOISE.
[LAUGHTER]
>> IT WAS NOTHING BUT WHITE-HOT
NOISE.
THAT WAS --
THAT WAS JUST A MISERABLE DAY
SAVED BY ONE CUTE PHOTO.
>> Ellen: I SEE.
AND THEN HE WENT AND GOT THEM
OFF THE BENCH?
>> IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE
THEY SAY GET THEM AWAY FROM THAT
AND SOMEBODY SAID, YOU MIGHT AS
WELL GET THE ONE PICTURE.
[LAUGHTER]
AND THEN WE PULL THEM AWAY.
>> Ellen: WHO PLAYS PIANO THAT
YOU HAVE A PIANO IN YOUR HOUSE?
>> THAT WAS MY IN-LAWS HOUSE AND
NEITHER OF THEM.
THEIR WORD FOR IT IS PHONIES.
>> Ellen: IT JUST LOOKS FANCY.
>> THE KIND OF PEOPLE THAT MAKE
YOU WANT TO FEEL BAD ABOUT
YOURSELF WHEN YOU COME OVER
BECAUSE THEY HAVE A PIANO AND
THEN YOU SAY, WHICH ONE OF YOU
PLAYS?
AND THEY CHANGE THE SUBJECT.
>> Ellen: IT DOES LOOK FANCY
TO HAVE A PIANO AND YOUR HOUSE,
BUT THEY ARE PHONIES.
YOUR FIRST SON WAS ALMOST BUN
AND AN UBER RIDE, YOUR SECOND
WAS IN THE LOBBY OF YOUR
APARTMENT BUILDING.
ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE A THIRD
AND WHERE WILL THAT ONE BE BORN?
[LAUGHTER]
>> I THINK IF WE HAD A THIRD,
THE ISSUE WOULD BE HOW DO YOU
TOPIC, RIGHT?
IT'S EVERY COMEDIAN'S BIGGEST
FEAR IS THAT YOU HAVE ALREADY
HAD YOUR BEST BET AND YOU HAVE
TO COME UP WITH A BETTER ONE.
[LAUGHTER]
SO MAYBE WELL SKYDIVING, HOW IS
THAT?
>> Ellen: ALL RIGHT, HOPEFULLY
A LITTLE TINY ISSUE YOU YOU CAN
PUT ON THERE.
>> THAT'S THE THING, HOW DO YOU
GET THE SHOOT IN SO THAT IT CAN
RELEASE.
YOU HAVE ALREADY THOUGHT THIS
THROUGH.
WE WILL TALK OFF-LINE.
>> Ellen: I GUESS, WELL, NO, I
HAVE IDEAS, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO
SAY THEM.
I JUST LEARNED TODAY THAT YOU
WERE STARTING OUT IN COMEDY AND
LIVED IN AMSTERDAM.
YOU DID IMPROV.
I LOVE -- I WENT THERE FOR THE
VERY FIRST TIME RECENTLY HOW IS
THAT TO LIVE THERE?
>> ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL
CITIES IN THE WORLD AN
INCREDIBLE PLACE TO LIVE.
I WAS THERE RIGHT OUT OF
COLLEGE, NOT A BAD PLACE TO DO
COMEDY, BECAUSE THEY ALL SPEAK
ENGLISH VERY WELL.
BUT WEIRDLY YOU WOULD RATHER
PERFORM FOR A DUTCH AUDIENCE
THAN A STONED AMERICAN AUDIENCE.
THAT'S WHAT I HAVE LEARNED.
>> Ellen: WASN'T THE HIGHNESS
OF THEIR STATE OF MIND HELPFUL
IN COMEDY?
[LAUGHTER]
>> I DON'T THINK IT IS.
I THINK IF YOU ARE THERE IN THE
MOMENT AS A PERFORMER IT'S VERY
FRUSTRATING, BECAUSE IF AN
AUDIENCE IS TO STONED, THEY WILL
JUST LAUGH AT THE HAT YOU ARE
WEARING WHEN YOU WALK OUT ON
STAGE, AND THAT TAKES AWAY FROM
YOU KNOW ALL OF THE INTELLECTUAL
THINGS YOU WANT TO SAY TO THEM.
THEY HAVE ALREADY LOST IT ON THE
HAT.
>> Ellen: I SEE.
THAT'S ON YOU FOR WEARING A
SILLY HAT.
[LAUGHTER]
>> THAT IS VERY FAIR.
SPILLED LET'S TALK ABOUT
"LATE-NIGHT" YOU CELEBRATED
SEVEN YEARS HOSTING THIS
FEBRUARY.
[APPLAUSE]
>> CAN EVEN CONCEIVE OF SEVEN
YEARS HOSTING A TELEVISION, CAN
YOU EVEN IMAGINE?
>> Ellen: I CANNOT IMAGINE
WHAT THAT IS LIKE SEVEN YEARS.
YOU HAVE SIGNED ON TILL 2025?
THAT'S AMAZING, CONGRATULATIONS!
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
VERY KIND OF YOU TO SAY SO.
>> Ellen: SO IT SEEMS THAT YOU
ARE ENJOYING IT THEN.
>> I AM ENJOYING IT, THE TRUTH
IS THAT IT STARTED WORKING IN
THIS BUILDING WHEN WE FIRST MET
IN 2001 WAS THE YEAR --
MY FIRST WAS WHEN YOU HOSTED
"SNL" AND I HAVE BEEN USING THE
SAME I.D. FOR ALMOST 20 YEARS
THINKING IT WILL MAY BE HIT 20.
>> Ellen: WOW, THAT'S REALLY
COOL, BECAUSE YOU ARE ON THE
SAME FLOOR AS "SNL," SO YOU ARE
WITH YOUR PALS ALL THE TIME AND
THAT'S A FUN PLACE TO BE.
>> THEY DON'T WANT TO SEE ME
ANYMORE.
IT'S VERY INTERESTING, I THOUGHT
THAT THEY WOULD MISS ME
DESPERATELY IN WANT ME TO STOP
BY, BUT YOU KNOW HOW IT'S A
LITTLE SAD WHEN THE GUY WHO WENT
TO HIGH SCHOOL KEEPS COMING BY
YEARS AFTER HE GRADUATED, THAT
SORT OF HOW THEY TREAT ME.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Ellen: I'M SURE YOU ARE
JOKING, THAT'S EXTREMELY SAD IF
NOT.
SO YOU HAVE BEEN DOING LIKE I AM
THESE ZOOM INTERVIEWS AND YOU
HAD AN INTERESTING MOMENT LAST
WEEK, WAS IT LAST WEEK?
>> IT WAS LAST WEEK.
>> Ellen: TELL EVERYBODY WHAT
HAPPENED.
>> SO WE WERE INTERVIEWING DEB
HOLLAND WHO IS A FASCINATING
WOMAN AND IT WAS A THING WHICH
WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE WAS HER
PHOTOGRAPHER TAMMY DID NOT
REALIZE THAT SHE WOULD BE ON
CAMERA WHILE SHE TRIED TO CRAWL
BEHIND HER, AND THE BEST THING
WAS THAT YOU THINK -- SHE THINKS
YOU CANNOT SEE HER AND YOU DO
NOT HAVE TO BE EAGLE-EYED TO SEE
THIS PERSON RIGHT THERE.
BUT FOR ME AGAIN, AND AS IT
WOULD BE FOR YOU AS WELL,
NOTHING IS BETTER WHEN SOMETHING
GOES WRONG LIKE THAT.
A VICTIMLESS ERROR.
>> Ellen: THAT IS ACTUALLY
WHAT YOU ARE HOPING FOR I THINK.
BECAUSE OTHERWISE IT'S JUST AN
INTERVIEW LIKE ANY OTHER
INTERVIEW.
ALL RIGHT, WE ARE GOING TO TAKE
A BREAK AND THEN I THINK WE ARE
GOING TO PLAY A GAME AFTER THIS.
WE WILL BE BACK.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> Ellen: DRUNK MAN BLAMES
COLOR-BLIND BLANK FOR RUNNING
RED LIGHT.
>> COLOR-BLIND WINDSHIELD.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Ellen: IS THIS THE FIRST
THING YOU HAVE DIRECTED?
>> IT IS THE FIRST THING I
DIRECTED.
>> Ellen: AND
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ ♪ >> Ellen: WE ARE BACK WITH
SETH MEYERS, AND HERE'S THE
GAME.
IT'S UP ON GAME AND TWITCHES
REALLY GOOD AT THIS GAME.
EVERY NIGHT ON YOUR SHOW YOU
COVER THE LATEST NEWS AND
HEADLINES.
IT'S A GAME WE CALL "BLINKING
NEWS."
♪ ♪
SO I WILL READ A NEWS HEADLINE
AND IT IS MISSING A WORD OR TWO
AND WE ARE ALL THREE GOING TO
TRY TO GUESS THE MISSING WORDS.
LET'S SEE THE FIRST ONE.
CREATURE TERRORIZING TOWN TURNS
OUT TO BE A BLANK STUCK IN A
TREE.
>> DRONE.
>> Ellen: THAT'S A GOOD GUESS.
THAT IS A GOOD GUESS.
>> THAT'S A GREAT GUESS.
>> Ellen: IT DOES NOT SEEM
LIKE IT WILL BE A CAT OR
SQUIRREL.
>> I FEEL LIKE CREATURE IS
TELLING US IT IS NOT A LIVING
THING.
>> Ellen: RIGHT.
I'M GOING TO SAY A BALLOON.
>> I'M GOING TO SAY A WOMAN.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Ellen: OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S SEE WHAT THE CREATURE IS.
A CROISSANT.
OKAY.
[LAUGHTER]
ANY MORE INFORMATION ON THAT.
>> THAT'S STRANGELY A STORY
ABOUT A TOWN THAT HAS SOMETHING
WRONG WITH THEM.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Ellen: I THINK YOU ARE
RIGHT.
LET'S FIND OUT WHAT THAT TOWN
IS.
AND WE NEED MORE INFORMATION.
LET'S SEE THE NEXT ONE.
DRUNK MAN BLAMES COLOR-BLIND
BLANK FOR RUNNING RED LIGHT.
>> COLOR-BLIND WINDSHIELD.
[LAUGHTER]
CROISSANT, CAN I DO CROISSANT?
>> Ellen: YOU SURE CAN.
TWITCH?
>> I'M GOING TO SAY DRUNK MAN
BLAMES COLOR-BLIND DOG FOR
RUNNING A RED LIGHT.
THINK --: I THOUGHT DOG, BUT I
AND THAT MIGHT BE RIGHT, BUT I'M
GOING TO SAY WIFE.
HORSE.
[LAUGHTER]
OKAY, HE WAS ON A HORSE AND
THEN --
>> WE SHOULD NOT HAVE ASSUMED
CAR.
>> Ellen: THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG
WITH ASSUMING.
LET'S SEE THE NEXT ONE.
FLORIDA NURSE PREPARES BLANK
BLANK ON COURT ROOM ZOOM.
>> OR TWO.
>> Ellen: YES, TWO WORDS.
>> EMERGENCY APPENDECTOMY.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Ellen: THAT'S GOOD.
>> WHAT I AM THINKING IS NOT, I
DON'T THINK THAT'S WHAT IS IT IS
GOING TO BE.
FOR THIS TIME OF THE DAY I DON'T
THINK IT'S GOING TO BE THAT.
SO I'M GOING TO SAY PERFORMS
LOVE VALID.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Ellen: ALL RIGHT.
I'M GOING TO STAY POLE DANCE.
I STAY POLE DANCE.
LET'S SEE WHO IS RIGHT.
BUTT INJECTION.
>> IT'S FLORIDA.
>> WE A SEGMENT CALLED OH,
FLORIDA.
THAT CAN BE IN IT.
SETH, IT'S GREAT TALKING TO YOU.
YOU LOOK GREAT AND I HOPE TO SEE
YOU IN PERSON NEXT SEASON.
>> I HOPE SO TOO, I WOULD LOVE
TO MAKE IT OUT THERE.
>> Ellen: IF NOT WE WILL RUN
INTO EACH OTHER AT THE
RESTAURANT TO THAT WE SAW EACH
OTHER ON THE TOP OF THE
MOUNTAIN.
>> I WOULD LOVE TO BE ON THE TOP
OF THE MOUNTAIN WITH YOU, ELLEN.
>> Ellen: "LATE NIGHT WITH
SETH MEYERS AIRS WEEKNIGHTS AT
12:45 ON NBC AND STREAMING ON
PEACOCK.
WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK.
SETH MEYERS!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
I HEARD THAT YOU WANT TO BE A
TALK SHOW HOST, AND I JUST SAY
YES TO THAT.
WHY WOULD YOU NOT WANT TO DO
THAT?
>> I HEARD THERE MIGHT BE AN
OPENING SOMEWHERE.
[LAUGHTER]
♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ ♪ >> Ellen: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A
VERY FUNNY COMEDIAN WHO YOU KNOW
FROM THE HBO SHOW "INSECURE" AND
NOW HAS A NEW BOOK CALLED
"BAMBOOZLED BY JESUS," PLEASE
WELCOME YVONNE ORJI!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] >> I DID THIS FOR YOU.
I FELT LIKE IT WAS ELLEN-ESQUE.
>> Ellen: IT IS GOOD LOOKING.
IT'S A GOOD LOOKING SUIT.
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
YOU ARE FUNNY AND I JUST SAY
YES.
>> YOUR JUST >> YOUR JUST SAY
YES?
>> Ellen: I HEARD THAT YOU
WANT TO BE A TALK SHOW HOST, I
SAY YES TO THAT.
WHY WOULD YOU NOT WANT TO DO
THAT?
>> I HEARD THAT THERE MIGHT BE
AN OPENING SOMEWHERE.
[LAUGHTER]
THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE OR
DATELINE, SOMETHING.
>> Ellen: THE GRAPEVINE AND
THE DEADLINE.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
THERE WILL BE AN OPENING.
I HAVE ONE MORE YEAR --
>> NOT HER IN A RUSH YOU.
>> Ellen: THANKS.
HAVE YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO DO
THIS?
>> IS THE THING THAT I ALWAYS
WANTED TO DO.
HE SPECIFICALLY WANTED DAYTIME,
I WANTED TO GIVE AWAY FREE
STUFF.
I DO, I WANT TO HELP PEOPLE GO
TO COLLEGE AND MAYBE SOME CARS
COMING AND OUTCOME THE BASICS.
BUT I ALSO JUST GENUINELY
ENJOYED PEOPLE AND TALKING TO
THEM AND YOU KNOW IT'S COOL TO
TALK TO CELEBRITIES, BUT IT'S
ALSO COOL TO TALK TO LIKE
REGULAR FOLKS DOING DOPE STUFF.
I HAVE SOME THINGS I WANT TO DO
FIRST.
>> Ellen: THAT'S GOOD TO PUT
IT OUT THERE, BECAUSE YOU KNOW,
THAT'S MANIFESTATION IS HOW YOU
DO IT.
>> DID YOU JUST GIVE ME A LETTER
OF RECOMMENDATION?
>> Ellen: I THINK IT WOULD BE
GREAT.
I THINK THAT YOU ARE FUNNY AND I
THINK YOU WILL LOVE IT.
IF YOU LOVE PEOPLE AND LOVE
HELPING PEOPLE IT'S A GREAT JOB.
SO I SAY YES.
>> HELLO, DO YOU HEAR THIS?
MY AGENTS ARE ON ALERT.
>> Ellen: I HEARD THAT YOU
DISCOVERED THAT YOU ARE FUNNY
AND A BEAUTY PAGEANT.
>> YES, CHILD.
THEN MISS NIGERIA IN AMERICA
PAGEANT.
JUST ON BRAND.
NIGERIA IN AMERICA, AMISS, SIGN
ME UP.
>> Ellen: HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE
THERE?
ME.
>> I SHOULD'VE BEEN A SHOE IN.
SO TWO WEEKS BEFORE THE PAGEANT
THEY WERE LIKE, HEY, WHAT IS
YOUR TALENT, AND I WAS LIKE, I
GOT ONE, BECAUSE AS A CHILD OF
IMMIGRANTS, YOUR ONLY TALENT IS
GETTING STRAIGHT As ON YOUR
REPORT CARD.
AND I WAS LIKE DONE.
AND I WAS LIKE I CAN'T REALLY DO
THAT ON STAGE.
AND I'M NOT POLE DANCING.
I HAVE TO DRAW THE LINE
SOMEWHERE.
AND THEY WERE LIKE, YOU HAVE TO
COME UP WITH SOMETHING, SO I WAS
IN COLLEGE AND I JUST LIKE
STARTED MY FAITH IN MY WALK WITH
GOD AND I WAS LIKE I HAVE TO
STOP AND TALK TO JESUS.
I DON'T KNOW WHY IT SOUNDS LIKE
THAT, BUT --
DO SOMETHING!
ALL I HEARD BACK WAS DO COMEDY.
AND I WAS LIKE, NAH.
BECAUSE IT DID NOT MAKE SENSE.
I NEVER DONE COMEDY BEFORE.
I USED TO WATCH IT BEFORE THERE
WERE A CABLE BOXES IN ONE ROOM
AND WE HAD TO SNEAK IN, SO THERE
WERE THINGS, GOOGLED THE THING.
AND THAT WAS MY ONLY REFERENCE
TO COMEDY, SO I WAS LIKE, AND
NIGERIANS ARE NOT FORGIVEN
PEOPLE.
IF YOU ARE NOT FUNNY, THEY WILL
BE LIKE GET OFF THE STAGE!
MY MOM WAS GOING TO BE IN THE
AUDIENCE AND HER FRIENDS.
AND I WAS LIKE HAVE YOU MET ME?
AND HE WAS LIKE COMING EITHER
YOU ARE GOING TO LEARN TO TRUST
ME OR YOU'RE NOT.
AND THAT WAS THE LAST THING HE
SAID AND I THINK COMEDY PART
TWO, HERE I AM.
>> Ellen: WOW.
WELL...
AND THAT ASSURES US WHAT THE
BOOK IS ABOUT.
IT IS ALL THE THINGS THAT JESUS,
GOD HAS PUT YOU THROUGH.
BUT YOU EXPLAIN IT.
SPEAK OF THE SUBTITLE IS HOW GOD
TRICKED ME INTO LIVING MY
DREAMS.
IF YOU'RE LIKE, THIS IS
BLASPHEMY.
IT'S 2020, EVERYBODY.
[LAUGHTER]
WE ALL HAD BIG PLANS LAST YEAR,
AND LOOK AT US NOW.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT WE ARE COMING OUT ON THE
OTHER SIDE OF IT, AND SIMILAR TO
YOU, ONE OF MY FAVORITE BITS
FROM YOU IS WHEN YOU DID THE
CONVERSATION WITH GOD, THAT'S
KIND OF WHAT THIS BOOK IS ABOUT.
I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS, I
UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO
DO, BUT IN THE MIDST OF IT, CAN
I CALL YOU UP AND BE LIKE, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING?
I DON'T WANT TO SITUATION, BUT
IN MY LIFE I KEPT SEEING,
BECAUSE SOMETIMES YOU DON'T EVEN
HAVE A GOOD SOLID I'M GOING TO
DO IT, LORD.
IT'S LIKE, ALL RIGHT, IF THAT'S
WHAT YOU WANT, COOL.
AND SOMETIMES IT'S ALL YOU NEED
TO GET TO THE VERY NEXT STEP.
SO I KEPT SAYING YES TO THINGS
THEY DID NOT MAKE A LOT OF SENSE
AND DOORS CLOSED OPENING AND I
WAS LIKE I'M GOING TO WALK
THROUGH THIS ONE.
SO HERE WE ARE.
>> Ellen: IT'S A GOOD THING
YOU ARE LISTENING.
[LAUGHTER]
>> I ALMOST IN IT.
>> Ellen: THEY ARE DOING YOU A
SOLID.
MORE WITH YVONNE RIGHT AFTER
THIS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
IS THIS THE FIRST THING YOU'VE
DIRECTED?
>> YES, IT'S THE FIRST THING I
DIRECTED.
>> Ellen: YOU WROTE IT IN FIVE
DAYS?
IT'S AMAZING.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> Announcer: NEXT NEW
"ELLEN," KEVIN HART.
>> OR I CAN BE THE OTHER SHAPE.
[GRUNTING]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> Ellen: WE ARE BACK WITH A
VERY FUNNY YVONNE ORJI.
YOU TALK ABOUT IN THE BOOK THAT
WHILE YOU WERE DOING STAND UP
YOU DID A LOT OF DIFFERENT
THINGS TO EARN MONEY.
DO YOU WANT TO TELL PEOPLE SOME
OF THOSE?
>> USE TO HOST WEDDINGS.
ANYTHING WITH A MICROPHONE.
BABY SHOWERS, BIRTHDAYS,
FUNERALS.
BUT IT'S ALWAYS WEIRD, BECAUSE
WITH A NIGERIAN WEDDING THERE'S
A LOT OF TRADITION AND PROTOCOL,
AND SO ON SPECIFIC WEDDING, THE
BRIDE WAS LIKE I DON'T WANT TO
DO THIS SPECIFIC THING WHICH WAS
THE BREAKING OF THE COLA NUT.
AND SHE WAS LIKE TELL MY FATHER.
I'M THE HOST.
I GO TO THE FATHER AND I WAS
LIKE YOUR DAUGHTER DOESN'T WANT
TO DO THIS THING AND HE LOOKED
AT ME AND SAID, WHO ARE YOU?
AM I NOT PAYING FOR YOU.
AND I WAS LIKE YOU'RE RIGHT,
SHE'S NOT GOING TO MESS UP MY
CHANGE.
I WAS NOT, I WAS A FAIR WEATHER
HOST, THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO
TELL YOU.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Ellen: THAT'S NOT YOUR JOB
TO DO THAT.
THAT'S NOT FAIR.
>> THIS SOUNDS LIKE A FAMILY
SQUABBLE.
>> Ellen: YOU MENTIONED THAT
YOU WERE GOING TO BE A DOCTOR
BECAUSE HER PARENTS WANTED YOU
TO BE A DOCTOR.
THEY DID NOT WANT YOU TO GOING
TO COMEDY.
NO PARENTS GO, YOU SHOULD TRY TO
STAND UP, THAT ALWAYS WORKS OUT.
BUT THEY MUST BE PROUD NOW.
>> IT WOULD'VE BEEN BETTER IF
THEY SAID DON'T DO STAND UP.
THEY SAID, YOU WANT TO BE A
JESTER.
I WAS LIKE I DON'T JUGGLE BALLS.
IT'S SO AWKWARD.
>> Ellen: THE MASK WITH THE
BALL ON IT.
>> DISMANTLE MY SOUL.
BUT THEY ARE SUPER PROUD OF ME
NOW.
I BOUGHT A HOUSE IN 2019 AND I
FLEW THEM OUT TO L.A. AND THAT'S
WHEN THEY WERE LIKE, SHE DOES
SOMETHING.
THIS COMEDY THING IS WORKING
OUT, AND ONE DAY I WAS SLEEPING
AND I JUST HEAR MY DAD JUST --
AND THIS IS THE BACKYARD, AND
THE USE HER TREES.
I WAS LIKE WHO IS HE MTV
CRIBBING.
AND HE IS LIKE RECORDING MY
HOUSE, THE BACKYARD AND I AM
LIKE EVERYONE IN THE VILLAGE IS
GOING TO KNOW WHERE I LIVE, WHAT
I GOT, I DON'T WANT THIS.
>> Ellen: OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD.
THEY SHOULD BE PROUD OF YOU,
BECAUSE YOU'RE DOING GREAT.
YOU JUST GOT YOUR FIRST EMMY
NOMINATION.
ON "INSECURE" YOU ARE GREAT ON
"INSECURE" AND NEXT YEAR I WOULD
LIKE YOU TO GUEST HOST FOR ME
AND TRIED OUT SEE HOW IT FEELS.
>> I WOULD BE SO HONORED.
YES.
DONE.
>> Ellen: NEXT YEAR YOU ARE
GOING TO GUEST HOST.
>> YOU HEARD IT FIRST!
[LAUGHTER]
>> Ellen:
"BAMBOOZLED BY JESUS" IS
AVAILABLE EVERYWHERE BOOKS ARE
SOLD AND TODAY WERE ALL GETTING
A COPY!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
WE'LL BE BACK!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> Ellen: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A
COMEDIAN AND EMMY AWARD-WINNING
WRITER AND JUST WON THE
ACADEMY AWARD FOR A SHORT FILM
"TWO DISTANCED STRANGERS, TAKE A
LOOK."
>> YOU GOT A PROBLEM HERE?
>> YES, IT IS.
>> IT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE ANY
CIGARETTE.
>> WITH THE SENSE OF SMELL IS
NOT MY PROBLEM.
>> IT'S A LOT OF MONEY FOR A GUY
WITH A NOT SO CIGARETTE SMELLING
CIGARETTE.
WHAT KIND OF BUSINESS DO YOU
HAVE?
>> GRAPHIC DESIGN.
I MAKE COMIC BOOKS.
WHAT CAN I SAY?
>> SURE.
>> Ellen: PLEASE WELCOME
TRAVON FREE!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> Ellen: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME ON THE
SHOW, BUT YOUR TWEET HAS BEEN ON
A SHOW.
>> AS SHOWED A TWEET I DON'T HOW
MANY YEARS AGO.
>> Ellen: 2013?
SO WE SHOWED YOUR TWEET ON THE
SHOW, 25TH AND WORLD MATH, AT
LEAST WE ARE STILL IN THE TOP
TEN.
[LAUGHTER]
VERY FUNNY.
SO THE SHORT FOAM AND
CONGRATULATIONS WINNING THE
OSCAR.
IT'S SO WELL-DESERVED.
[APPLAUSE]
FIRST AFRICAN-AMERICAN TO WIN IN
THAT CATEGORY TOO.
SO TELL EVERYBODY, EVERYONE
SHOULD SEE THE FILM.
EVERYONE SHOULD SEE THE FILM,
BUT TELL EVERYONE ABOUT IT.
>> SO "TWO DISTANT STRANGERS" IS
THE STORY OF A BLACK MAN TRYING
TO GET HOME TO HIS DOG.
AND IT SOUNDS SIMPLE, BUT YOU
CAN COMPLICATE THAT IN MANY
WAYS.
IN AMERICA, ESSENTIALLY HE RUNS
INTO A CUP AND THE COP ENDS UP
KILLING HIM AND HE WAKES UP AND
THE DAY STARTS ALL OVER AGAIN.
AND HE FINDS HIMSELF GOING
THROUGH THIS LOOP TRYING TO
FIGURE OUT HOW TO BREAK THE
CYCLE OF RUNNING INTO THE SCOP
AND TRYING TO CHANGE HIS
BEHAVIOR AND DO THINGS
DIFFERENTLY.
IT'S KIND OF THE STORY THAT WE
TRY TO TELL TO DEMONSTRATE HOW
THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN REALLY
DO TO STOP IT FROM HAPPENING.
THE ACTUAL SOLUTION IS BEHIND
PEOPLE.
>> Ellen: YOU WROTE THIS IN
FIVE DAYS, BUT FIRST OF ALL WE
SHOULD SAY THAT TODAY IS THE
ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE
MURDER OF GEORGE FLOYD.
AND YOU GOT THE IDEA WHILE YOU
WERE PROTESTING ABOUT THAT.
>> YEAH, WE WERE OUT LAST SUMMER
PROTESTING AND MARCHING AND
ABSORBING THE ENERGY THAT THE
WORLD HAD TAKEN ON ONCE HE HAD
BEEN KILLED, AND IN DOING THAT
AND REPEATING THE CYCLE EVERY
DAY AND INTERNALIZING THE
FEELINGS THAT YOU FEEL WHEN YOU
HEAR A NEW NAME, AHMAUD ARBERY,
BREONNA TAYLOR, GEORGE FLOYD, AS
A BLACK PERSON YOU GO THROUGH A
CYCLE OF EMOTIONS AND PROCESS
THESE THINGS AND I SAW MYSELF
GOING THROUGH THE CYCLE FOR
THESE THREE PEOPLE AND THEY WERE
OVERLAPPING AND IT FELT LIKE
LIVING THE WORST VERSION OF
GROUNDHOG DAY WHEN I HAD THAT
THOUGHT IT WAS SOMETHING THAT
JUST STUCK WITH ME AND I FELT
LIKE I HAD TO DO SOMETHING.
>> Ellen: YOU CAN HAVE THAT
THOUGHT.
TO THE WAY THAT YOU EXECUTE IT.
IT SO WELL DONE.
THIS IS THE FIRST THING YOU HAVE
DIRECTED?
>> YES, IT'S THE FIRST THING
I'VE DIRECTED.
>> Ellen: AND ERODED IN FIVE
DAYS.
IT'S AMAZING.
IT IS A MUST-SEE.
AND IT'S ONLY, IT'S A SHORT, SO
IT'S ONLY 29, 30 MINUTES?
THERE'S NO EXCUSE TO NOT WATCH
IT.
IT'S ON NETFLIX AND IT IS A
REALLY BEAUTIFULLY DONE
EDUCATIONAL TOOL FOR EVERYONE.
AND SO YOU ARE NOMINATED FOR AN
OSCAR, WHICH THAT'S ENOUGH,
RELIEVED TO BE NOMINATED.
>> EVERYONE SAYS THAT THAT IS
THE WIN.
>> Ellen: TO WRITE SOMETHING
YOUR VERY FIRST TIME AND YOU ARE
NOMINATED, THEN THEY CALL YOUR
NAME, WHAT WAS THAT MOMENT LIKE?
WAS THERE SOMEBODY ELSE YOU
THOUGHT WAS GOING TO GET IT?
>> I THOUGHT WE HAD A GOOD SHOT.
I DID NOT KNOW, MY FEAR WAS
ALWAYS THAT THIS FILM WAS ABOUT
A SUBJECT MATTER THAT IS SO
POLARIZING TO PEOPLE, WILL IT BE
EMBRACED FOR ALL OF ITS PARTS,
THE TECHNICALITY, THE STORY, THE
EMOTION, THE WORK THAT WE PUT
INTO IT, AND COULD PEOPLE SEE
BEYOND THEIR OPINION ON WHETHER
WHAT THEY FEEL ABOUT THE SUBJECT
MATTER TO LOOK AT THE ART FORM,
YOU KNOW OF WHAT WE CREATED, SO
WHEN WE GOT NOMINATED, I HAD A
MOMENT WHERE I WAS LIKE IS THIS
THE BEST WE CAN DO WITH THE
STORY?
BECAUSE THERE WERE OTHER STORIES
THAT WEREN'T AS HEAVY AND THE
PEOPLE WERE WRITING ABOUT SAY
SAYING, "TWO DISTANT STRANGERS"
IS SO HEAVY, BUT THIS OTHER
MOVIE YOU MIGHT THE ONE THAT
PEOPLE VOTE FOR BECAUSE IT IS
MORE PALATABLE AND NOT AS
CONFRONTING AS OUR MOVIE WAS.
SO I WAS VERY NERVOUS ABOUT IT.
>> Ellen: IT'S DEFINITELY --
THE SUBJECT MATTER IS
PULVERIZING GOOD BUT I FOUND IT
DIFFICULT TO WATCH PUTTING
MYSELF IN THE SHOES OF A YOUNG
BLACK MAN IN AMERICA RIGHT NOW,
AND YOU REALLY SEE WHAT THAT
FEELS LIKE.
OTHER THAN THAT I THOUGHT YOU
DID A GREAT JOB, BECAUSE THERE
IS ANOTHER STORY.
AND YOU ARE ALSO -- YOU JUST
WANT THE DOG, YOU JUST WANT HIM
TO GET TO THE DOG.
I LOVE THAT YOU DID THAT.
BECAUSE EVERYONE LOVES DOGS AND
IS LIKE, PLEASE GET TO THE DOG.
>> AT SUCH A COMMON THING TO
WANT TO JUST GO HOME TO
SOMETHING OR SOMEONE WHO LOVES
YOU.
AND FOR US TO HEAR TIME AND TIME
AGAIN ALTHOUGH STORIES ARE
IMPEDED BY THINGS THAT SHOULD
NOT BE IMPEDED FOR, WHETHER IT
STOPPED IN YOUR CAR FOR THINKING
YOU ARE THE WRONG PERSON OR
BEING STOPPED WALKING DOWN THE
STREET FOR THINKING YOU'RE THE
WRONG PERSON.
AND IT JUST FELT LIKE THE
EASIEST WAY FOR THE STORY TO
CONNECT BEYOND THE COLOR OF YOUR
SKIN WAS CONNECTING IT TO
SOMETHING THAT WE ALL WANT TO DO
IS JUST GET HOME SAFELY.
>> Ellen: IT IS SO BEAUTIFULLY
DONE.
AND AGAIN, IT IS CALLED
"TWO DISTANT STRANGERS" AND IS
AVAILABLE ON NETFLIX.
AND CONGRATULATIONS.
WE WILL BE BACK!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ ♪ >> Ellen: BEFORE WE GO I WANT
TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING VERY
IMPORTANT.
TODAY IS THE ONE-YEAR
ANNIVERSARY OF THE MURDER OF
GEORGE FLOYD.
AND THE YEAR SINCE THAT TERRIBLE
DAY THERE IS BEEN A LOT OF
REFLECTION AND A LOT OF
ACTIVISM, A LOT OF TOUGH
CONVERSATIONS WITH EACH OTHER
AND OURSELVES.
IT'S ALL LONG OVERDUE AND
IMPORTANT THAT WE NEVER STOP
LEARNING AND NEVER STOP FIGHTING
FOR WHAT IS RIGHT.
WE CAN'T BRING BACK GEORGE FLOYD
AND THE PAIN OF THAT TRAGEDY
WON'T EVER GO AWAY, BUT WE MUST
CONTINUE TO PUSH FOR JUSTICE AND
EQUALITY HOWEVER WE CAN.
I WANT TO THANK OUR FRIENDS AT
SHUTTERFLY BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT
SOCIAL JUSTICE.
TODAY THEY ARE DONATING $25,000
TO THE GEORGE FLOYD MEMORIAL
FOUNDATION.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
IT WAS FOUNDED BY GEORGE'S OWN
FAMILY HELPING FIGHT OPPRESSION
AND RACISM IN OUR COMMUNITY.
IF YOU WANT TO DONATE, PLEASE
VISIT THE LINK BELOW.
I WANT TO THANK SETH MEYERS,
TRAVON FREE, AND YVONNE ORJI.
I WANT TO THANK ALL OF YOU FOR
WATCHING.
I FEEL THE LOVE IN THE ROOM.
TAKE IT AND SPREAD IT AROUND THE
WORLD.
WE NEED IT.
THANKS, EVERYBODY.
BYE.
♪ ♪
♪ OH OH OH ♪
♪ TODAY'S THE DAY I'VE BEEN
WAITING FOR ♪
♪ TOMORROW WON'T COME AFTER
ALL ♪
♪ YESTERDAY IS SO FAR AWAY ♪
♪ AND TODAY IS THE ONLY DAY ♪
♪ SOMEBODY PLEASE STOP THE
CLOCK ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
♪ OH OH OH ♪
♪ DON'T EVER LET THIS DAY STOP ♪
♪ OH OH OH ♪
♪ I NEVER WANNA GO HOME ♪
♪ NO NO NO NO NO ♪
>> Ellen: ANYWAY...