1 00:00:48,499 --> 00:00:54,859 Thank you all for coming. We're all here because we all have something in common. 2 00:00:54,859 --> 00:00:58,619 We've all been conned by these people. 3 00:00:58,619 --> 00:01:02,660 But now it's time for them to have a taste of their own medicine. 4 00:01:05,060 --> 00:01:07,539 Michael Stone, AKA Mickey Bricks. 5 00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:11,380 He's the ringleader. 6 00:01:11,380 --> 00:01:14,500 Ash Morgan, known to his cohorts as Three Socks. 7 00:01:14,500 --> 00:01:20,579 He's the fixer, deals with the nuts and bolts of creating a world that mugs like us buy into. 8 00:01:20,579 --> 00:01:25,420 Albert Stroller, recently out of prison, known as "the roper". 9 00:01:25,420 --> 00:01:29,419 He finds the marks - again, people like us - for the gang to cheat. 10 00:01:29,419 --> 00:01:35,659 Emma Kennedy, femme fatale, works with Stone, can be his assistant, girlfriend 11 00:01:35,659 --> 00:01:37,540 or business partner. 12 00:01:37,540 --> 00:01:41,020 And finally, Sean Kennedy, glorified gofer. 13 00:01:41,020 --> 00:01:44,979 Stone's taken him under his wing and is training him up. 14 00:01:44,979 --> 00:01:48,539 These arses took me for half a million quid. 15 00:01:51,380 --> 00:01:55,339 Now, where is my bloody painting?! 16 00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:10,860 Half a million quid. Mmm. It's easy to see why you'd be pissed off. Yeah. What was yours? 17 00:02:10,860 --> 00:02:12,419 Ninety K. 18 00:02:12,419 --> 00:02:13,940 A racehorse. 19 00:02:14,740 --> 00:02:17,259 That one was an Arab sheikh. 20 00:02:17,259 --> 00:02:22,980 You think you guys have got problems? Stone sold me the Sydney Opera House. 21 00:02:22,980 --> 00:02:30,299 He supposedly represented the Olympic Committee, sold me four acres of swampland in Kent. 22 00:02:30,299 --> 00:02:38,180 Well, starting tomorrow, let's see if they can take it as well as dish it out. 23 00:02:41,540 --> 00:02:44,659 I don't know about the rest of you, 24 00:02:44,659 --> 00:02:50,579 but no-one, and I mean no-one, steals money from me and gets away with it. 25 00:02:50,579 --> 00:02:52,339 No-one. 26 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:57,580 It's taken us months to track them down and research how they operate, 27 00:02:57,580 --> 00:02:59,020 but now... 28 00:03:00,899 --> 00:03:02,899 ..now it's time to turn the tables. 29 00:03:50,099 --> 00:03:52,219 You know, I've been thinking. 30 00:03:52,219 --> 00:03:55,420 We should go on holiday. Yeah! 31 00:03:55,420 --> 00:03:57,900 Mexico. Nah, too hot. 32 00:03:57,900 --> 00:03:59,540 What about Margate? 33 00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:01,260 A couple of trips to Las Vegas. 34 00:04:01,260 --> 00:04:03,620 No, Albert. Can I say something? 35 00:04:03,620 --> 00:04:07,300 Yeah. Only every time you lot go on holiday, you never take me with you. 36 00:04:07,300 --> 00:04:10,340 True. You use me when it suits you, but you never pay me, 37 00:04:10,340 --> 00:04:14,099 then you all go off on holiday, and I'm lucky if I get a postcard. 38 00:04:14,099 --> 00:04:16,139 I think he's got a point. Yeah. 39 00:04:16,139 --> 00:04:18,779 Yeah, it's only right, I suppose. 40 00:04:18,779 --> 00:04:20,540 Eddie, you shall go to the ball. 41 00:04:20,540 --> 00:04:22,019 All right, Mick? 42 00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:29,220 Er...yes, OK. Well, funny you should say that, cos I've been thinking about going away, 43 00:04:29,220 --> 00:04:31,179 and I've picked up a few brochures. 44 00:04:31,179 --> 00:04:33,980 Ha-ha! Er... Eh? 45 00:04:40,019 --> 00:04:42,299 Right. Let's get started, shall we? Harry? 46 00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:52,019 The convincer is a method they use to remove any last vestige of doubt. 47 00:04:52,019 --> 00:04:55,339 So for example, if the con or "score" 48 00:04:55,339 --> 00:04:59,460 is about asking you to invest £100,000 in worthless shares, 49 00:04:59,460 --> 00:05:02,980 they would invite you to take part in a much smaller deal first. 50 00:05:02,980 --> 00:05:06,779 You would make a profit on that deal. Like a loss leader. 51 00:05:06,779 --> 00:05:13,260 Precisely. This convincer convinces you that a larger investment would work equally well. 52 00:05:13,260 --> 00:05:15,059 Crafty bastards. 53 00:05:15,059 --> 00:05:16,819 So how do we take them? 54 00:05:16,819 --> 00:05:20,540 You know, I really feel like I'm starting to get this, Mick. 55 00:05:20,540 --> 00:05:26,380 Good. I mean, it's complicated, but everything's kind of fallen into place. Your roper finds the mark. 56 00:05:26,380 --> 00:05:28,300 How does he know where to look? 57 00:05:28,300 --> 00:05:33,179 Well, because Albert is a member of every gentleman's club in London - under different names. 58 00:05:33,179 --> 00:05:35,819 And? He's in touch with the concierges of hotels 59 00:05:35,819 --> 00:05:38,860 and they let him know when the high rollers are in town. 60 00:05:38,860 --> 00:05:41,459 And occasionally some just fall into my lap. 61 00:05:43,059 --> 00:05:45,259 Credit crunch! 62 00:05:45,259 --> 00:05:47,099 My rear end. 63 00:05:47,099 --> 00:05:51,299 I mean, if the great unwashed are stupid enough to lose their houses, 64 00:05:51,299 --> 00:05:53,740 fault of the state, yah? 65 00:05:53,740 --> 00:05:58,780 It's simply survival of the fittest, sorting the wheat from the chaff. 66 00:05:58,780 --> 00:06:03,140 Because they never get off their fat arses to earn the money to pay for it! 67 00:06:03,140 --> 00:06:07,900 It's with you, Alfie. Hmm? Your bet. Oh, right, yeah. 68 00:06:11,059 --> 00:06:12,499 Erm...all right. 69 00:06:14,459 --> 00:06:18,299 Raise. Let's make it...two thou. 70 00:06:18,299 --> 00:06:25,340 I honestly believe we should have some sort of compulsory euthanasia programme! 71 00:06:25,340 --> 00:06:33,059 Start with the unemployed, those on benefits and the like, and then move on to the over-65s. 72 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:35,620 Who is it? I believe it's me. 73 00:06:35,620 --> 00:06:39,660 Oh, sorry! Foot in mouth. No offence intended. 74 00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:43,660 None taken. Re-raise. 75 00:06:44,699 --> 00:06:47,900 All...in. 76 00:06:47,900 --> 00:06:53,180 Steady on with the old pension, Pops! You don't have heating bills or something to consider? 77 00:06:58,100 --> 00:06:59,260 All right, Pops. 78 00:07:01,499 --> 00:07:03,260 I call. 79 00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:09,380 A couple of fillies. 80 00:07:14,620 --> 00:07:18,460 Beats me. Now, that is what I'm talking about. 81 00:07:20,699 --> 00:07:23,780 Survival of the fittest. Never mind, eh, Pops? 82 00:07:23,780 --> 00:07:25,299 Maybe next time. 83 00:07:27,140 --> 00:07:29,260 You can count on it. 84 00:07:29,260 --> 00:07:32,180 OK, so you've identified your mark. 85 00:07:32,180 --> 00:07:34,540 Then the roper leads him to the inside man. 86 00:07:34,540 --> 00:07:38,620 Thank you, and the inside man tells him the tale, sets up the con. 87 00:07:38,620 --> 00:07:42,820 The first step is to create the world, lay the bait and draw them in. Breakfast up. 88 00:07:42,820 --> 00:07:45,740 What do you think? He's coming along nicely, yeah. 89 00:07:45,740 --> 00:07:50,699 So...you've laid the bait, and that's where the fixer comes in. 90 00:07:50,699 --> 00:07:53,180 He makes sure our story holds up. 91 00:07:53,180 --> 00:07:56,740 I'm a genius whose job it is to make you Flash Harrys look good. 92 00:07:56,740 --> 00:08:01,340 Ash is prone to exaggeration. Hark who's talking. So everything's gone to plan, 93 00:08:01,340 --> 00:08:04,460 and that is when you hit him with the convincer. 94 00:08:04,460 --> 00:08:09,860 Roper gets the mark, inside man tells the tale, 95 00:08:09,860 --> 00:08:13,060 fixer confirms the tale. 96 00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:15,100 The convincer is given, 97 00:08:15,100 --> 00:08:18,020 then the sting itself. 98 00:08:18,020 --> 00:08:20,979 The convincer is the weakest point. 99 00:08:20,979 --> 00:08:25,260 This is the only point THEY are in a negative position. 100 00:08:25,260 --> 00:08:28,820 So that's what we do, We take them just far enough 101 00:08:28,820 --> 00:08:32,860 into the con to get the convincer, then we just walk away. 102 00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:37,820 As you seem to have everything worked out, what do you need us for? Good question. 103 00:08:37,820 --> 00:08:41,700 Because...I need bait, 104 00:08:41,700 --> 00:08:45,539 and these bastards tried to put me out of business. 105 00:08:45,539 --> 00:08:49,420 And as I want to take them for a million quid, double what they took from me, 106 00:08:49,420 --> 00:08:54,219 we need to make them believe there's a greater stake to be had. 107 00:08:54,219 --> 00:08:57,539 A prize of four million should have the desired effect. 108 00:08:57,539 --> 00:09:03,539 Now I've raised a million, so for this to work I need the same again from each of you. 109 00:09:03,539 --> 00:09:06,660 A million quid? Jesus. 110 00:09:06,660 --> 00:09:13,340 Wait. How do we know that this isn't some elaborate plan to con us all again? 111 00:09:13,340 --> 00:09:15,419 That's a fair point. 112 00:09:15,419 --> 00:09:17,180 Harry? 113 00:09:17,180 --> 00:09:21,539 Quite simply, because we're not actually going to use it. What? 114 00:09:21,539 --> 00:09:26,459 All we need is bait, for them to believe we have the four million. 115 00:09:26,459 --> 00:09:29,980 So the plan is to put everyone's money into a single account, 116 00:09:29,980 --> 00:09:34,460 an account that needs four signatures to access. 117 00:09:34,460 --> 00:09:39,419 All we have to do is to let them see that account, and that's what draws them in. 118 00:09:39,419 --> 00:09:41,860 Your money will never leave the bank. 119 00:09:41,860 --> 00:09:47,060 We'll use the million I've raised, they'll double it, hoping to get their hands on the rest, 120 00:09:47,060 --> 00:09:48,860 but then we just walk away. 121 00:09:48,860 --> 00:09:53,540 Simple but genius. 122 00:09:53,540 --> 00:09:55,100 Genius. 123 00:09:55,100 --> 00:09:57,979 Our money won't leave the bank? 124 00:09:57,979 --> 00:09:59,420 100% guaranteed. 125 00:09:59,420 --> 00:10:06,180 Once I've recouped my million, plus the half mill they stole, then you divide the rest between yourselves. 126 00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:14,020 Sounds good to me. I'm in. 127 00:10:14,020 --> 00:10:15,379 Me too. 128 00:10:17,580 --> 00:10:18,779 Hell, why not? 129 00:10:18,779 --> 00:10:21,900 But I do have one condition. Yeah? 130 00:10:21,900 --> 00:10:25,619 I brought a couple of guys over with me to find these arseholes. 131 00:10:25,619 --> 00:10:29,219 Any objection to beating the crap out of them once we have our money? 132 00:10:32,019 --> 00:10:35,780 No, I don't see there being a problem with that at all. 133 00:10:35,780 --> 00:10:37,139 Nice one. 134 00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:41,780 Aren't we missing something? They clearly know every one of us, 135 00:10:41,780 --> 00:10:46,060 so how on earth are we going to get close enough to set this up? 136 00:10:46,060 --> 00:10:48,220 "We" can't. 137 00:10:48,220 --> 00:10:51,100 But, fortunately, we don't have to. 138 00:10:52,900 --> 00:10:56,979 This is Alfie. Alfie's an old school friend of mine. 139 00:10:58,220 --> 00:11:02,980 We've put him into one of Albert Stroller's regular card games. 140 00:11:02,980 --> 00:11:07,100 He's dropped into the conversation that he's just had a massive windfall, 141 00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:13,379 so I will stake my life that Stone and his crew are now trying to work out how to take it from him. 142 00:11:16,580 --> 00:11:18,820 OK, Albert, what's the story? 143 00:11:18,820 --> 00:11:21,500 Alfred Thomas Baron. 144 00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:23,500 Alfie to his friends. 145 00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:26,539 He's the eldest son of the Duke and Duchess of Derbyshire. 146 00:11:26,539 --> 00:11:28,780 he can trace his ancestry back to Henry VIII. 147 00:11:28,780 --> 00:11:30,860 Where's he been all my life? 148 00:11:30,860 --> 00:11:36,860 Gambling mostly, sleeping with models and dodgy business ventures. Fancies himself a player in the City. 149 00:11:36,860 --> 00:11:40,780 I spent an evening with him and he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer. 150 00:11:40,780 --> 00:11:42,299 He's an upper-class twit. 151 00:11:42,299 --> 00:11:47,500 And he's loaded. Yes, he came into a chunk of his inheritance on his recent 30th birthday, 152 00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:50,020 and he's looking for someplace to invest. 153 00:11:50,020 --> 00:11:53,060 - In what? - He's not sure. 154 00:11:53,060 --> 00:11:56,499 So he's rich AND stupid. Which makes him... 155 00:11:56,499 --> 00:11:58,180 The perfect mark. 156 00:12:01,579 --> 00:12:04,220 OK, let's reel him in. 157 00:12:04,220 --> 00:12:08,060 Albert, where do we find him? He recommended his favourite watering hole. 158 00:12:22,340 --> 00:12:24,020 Alfred? 159 00:12:24,020 --> 00:12:28,179 James Thornton, we met the other evening at the poker game. So we did. 160 00:12:28,179 --> 00:12:34,180 You hit me with two queens on the last hand. Ah, well, one man's loss is another man's lunch. 161 00:12:34,180 --> 00:12:36,139 Perhaps we could do it again. 162 00:12:36,139 --> 00:12:41,139 Always up for a game of cards, old chap, just tell me when and where. Well, what about tonight at 9pm? 163 00:12:41,139 --> 00:12:43,059 Are you free? Stakes? 164 00:12:43,059 --> 00:12:45,140 5,000 to sit down. How much if I stand? 165 00:12:46,259 --> 00:12:51,140 I'm just joshing, count me in. Same venue as last time, ask for me at the desk. 166 00:12:51,140 --> 00:12:53,459 I'll be there. I look forward to it. 167 00:12:58,300 --> 00:13:01,740 Hey, how about Brazil? You've got football, you've got beaches. 168 00:13:03,740 --> 00:13:06,940 OK, Albert, thanks. That's great. 169 00:13:06,940 --> 00:13:09,740 That was Albert. The card game is on for tonight. 170 00:13:09,740 --> 00:13:11,380 All right, I'll set it up. 171 00:13:11,380 --> 00:13:14,860 Oh, and I'll need you to play the inside with me, the City banker. 172 00:13:14,860 --> 00:13:18,739 Yeah, can I make a suggestion? Yeah, of course. Well, I've been thinking. 173 00:13:18,739 --> 00:13:22,139 The kid's coming on leaps and bounds, right? Yes, he is. 174 00:13:22,139 --> 00:13:25,459 Maybe it's time you gave him his shot, let him play the inside. 175 00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:32,659 I'd feel safer having you next to me. Come on, Mick, since when have you ever played safe? 176 00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:36,260 He's ready, I'd stake my life on it. 177 00:13:37,139 --> 00:13:38,620 Is it that important to you? 178 00:13:38,620 --> 00:13:42,980 He's a good kid, you know. If you ask me, he's earned it. 179 00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:54,860 Abso-bloody-amazing, it happened just like you said it would. 180 00:13:54,860 --> 00:13:57,179 He just bowled up and invited me to the game. 181 00:13:57,179 --> 00:13:59,060 Of course he bloody did. 182 00:13:59,060 --> 00:14:03,219 Thanks. I have to say, though, not entirely sure what's going on. 183 00:14:03,219 --> 00:14:08,060 You don't need to - you just do what I say when I say, just like at school. 184 00:14:08,060 --> 00:14:10,579 Received and understood. 185 00:14:10,579 --> 00:14:13,420 I could do with a bit of a sub, though, CW. 186 00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:15,620 A sub? Yeah, things are a bit tight. 187 00:14:15,620 --> 00:14:18,980 I have asked Ma and Pa, but they're preoccupied with the house. 188 00:14:18,980 --> 00:14:25,340 Falling down around their ears. They're thinking of buying lions, you know, the old safari jobbie? 189 00:14:25,340 --> 00:14:29,180 Game in the grounds, watch the plebs drive round with their little brats. 190 00:14:29,180 --> 00:14:31,859 Trouble is...Mummy's allergic to them. 191 00:14:31,859 --> 00:14:37,499 Your mother's allergic to lions? No, plebs. Ah. 192 00:14:37,499 --> 00:14:40,620 Anyhow, I've got a new filly in tow, absolute corker. 193 00:14:40,620 --> 00:14:43,300 Promised her a slap-up meal, only... 194 00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:44,819 You're unbelievable. 195 00:14:51,299 --> 00:14:56,219 Here's 500 on account. Marvellous. I'll take her out to dinner, bound to loosen the old panties. 196 00:14:56,219 --> 00:15:01,540 You need to be at the card game by nine. Absolutely. It's an after-theatre jobbie, table's at 11. 197 00:15:01,540 --> 00:15:06,940 Forget your sex life, do you know what to do at the card game? Let the dog see the rabbit. 198 00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:10,100 Good, just make sure they see that bank statement. Gotcha. 199 00:15:10,100 --> 00:15:12,260 This is your stake money. 200 00:15:12,260 --> 00:15:15,299 They'll let you win, so I want it back. Understood. 201 00:15:18,299 --> 00:15:19,780 Toodle-pip. 202 00:15:27,180 --> 00:15:29,899 So how are we playing this? 203 00:15:29,899 --> 00:15:32,539 Mickey wants you to work the inside, 204 00:15:32,539 --> 00:15:36,139 play the City trader. You're kidding me! I thought you were doing that. 205 00:15:36,139 --> 00:15:39,339 No, Mickey thinks you're ready to step up, so we swap roles. 206 00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:41,780 I'll be the associate strapped for cash. 207 00:15:41,780 --> 00:15:45,540 Feel up to it? Well, I've never taken the money off a mark before. 208 00:15:45,540 --> 00:15:49,540 Well, we wouldn't ask you if we didn't think you could do it. 209 00:15:49,540 --> 00:15:53,220 Mickey thinks I'm, er...I'm ready, yeah? Yeah. 210 00:15:55,300 --> 00:16:00,500 So that's settled. Just like we went through, you're Justin Tyler, investment and finance. 211 00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:04,139 You deal with another trader who buys dirty money from overseas, 212 00:16:04,139 --> 00:16:10,979 then you use your investment company to put it into the system and launder it. Got it. 213 00:16:10,979 --> 00:16:12,779 And the game? 214 00:16:12,779 --> 00:16:17,500 We'll take Alfie round the houses, let him lose a bit, then let him win and leave him in front. 215 00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:20,420 Then tell him the tale, set up a meeting for tomorrow. 216 00:16:20,420 --> 00:16:22,699 Where? I'll find somewhere in the morning. 217 00:16:22,699 --> 00:16:25,019 Oh, head's up. 218 00:16:25,019 --> 00:16:27,419 OK. 219 00:16:27,419 --> 00:16:33,539 Well, welcome, you made it! Wouldn't have missed it for the world. This is Garry Penning. 220 00:16:33,539 --> 00:16:35,780 - Pleased to meet you. - Justin Tyler. 221 00:16:35,780 --> 00:16:41,500 Justin, hello. Listen chaps, I only have a couple of hours, got a filly in the starting blocks. 222 00:16:43,499 --> 00:16:47,300 Redhead, I've heard they're very hot-blooded. Yes, I'm sure they are. 223 00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:51,220 Since we don't have much time, let's play some cards, all right? Jolly good. 224 00:16:55,539 --> 00:16:58,300 Do you think they've started yet? 225 00:16:58,300 --> 00:17:00,940 Don't worry, Sean will be fine. 226 00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:05,380 I hope so. 227 00:17:05,380 --> 00:17:07,980 Oh, come on. What's the worst that can happen? 228 00:17:07,980 --> 00:17:11,379 It's all right for you, you've done it thousands of times before. 229 00:17:11,379 --> 00:17:13,820 Not everybody finds it so effortless. 230 00:17:16,739 --> 00:17:20,540 Looks like it's going to be my night...again. 231 00:17:22,539 --> 00:17:23,740 Yes, Alfie. 232 00:17:23,740 --> 00:17:26,180 'It seems that way.' 233 00:17:29,179 --> 00:17:30,700 Must be my lucky pants. 234 00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:34,100 This is going to be easier than I thought. 235 00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:37,980 'So...how did the deal go, Justin? 236 00:17:37,980 --> 00:17:42,020 'Good.' Here we go! 'Better than I expected.' 237 00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:43,539 I wish I was in there. 238 00:17:43,539 --> 00:17:49,099 Trouble is all my bloody cash is tied up. Maybe next time. 239 00:17:49,099 --> 00:17:54,299 I've got a little nest egg stashed away, but I have to give 30 days' notice. 240 00:17:54,299 --> 00:17:59,859 I could go next month. Pity. Joe called last night, he's got a fresh batch arriving this week. 241 00:17:59,859 --> 00:18:04,339 Bugger. Raise 350. 242 00:18:05,060 --> 00:18:09,259 Call. Call. I'll fold. 243 00:18:12,220 --> 00:18:15,140 Let me know when you're ready. Minimum 100K, yeah? 244 00:18:15,140 --> 00:18:19,499 'What's the max? That's the thing, there isn't one. I put in half a mill this time,' 245 00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:26,500 almost doubled up. I'll probably plough it all back in. Bloody hell. Er...check. 246 00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:28,140 Check. 247 00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:32,339 All right. Raise, thou. 248 00:18:32,339 --> 00:18:36,380 'No, too strong for me. Me too.' 249 00:18:36,380 --> 00:18:39,660 Come on, Alfie, ask them about the deal. 250 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:42,620 So this deal? What is it exactly? 251 00:18:43,659 --> 00:18:45,340 Good boy! 'Cash.' 252 00:18:45,340 --> 00:18:48,139 Oh, yeah? Tell me more. 253 00:18:48,139 --> 00:18:50,739 One of the things that happens in a recession 254 00:18:50,739 --> 00:18:54,659 is certain people start bringing out money that's been hidden away. 255 00:18:54,659 --> 00:18:59,660 That money needs to be...legitimised. Money laundering. 256 00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:01,460 You said that, not me. 257 00:19:01,460 --> 00:19:06,980 Ah. I've got a contact, he sources the cash, and I use my investment portfolio 258 00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:10,860 to filter it back into the system without attracting attention. Gotcha. 259 00:19:11,820 --> 00:19:15,300 Actually, I'm not 100%, could you run that by me again? 260 00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:19,980 'I buy dirty money 50p in the pound. 261 00:19:19,980 --> 00:19:24,619 It's then cleaned through the accounts, and I basically get back double. Is that legal? 262 00:19:25,820 --> 00:19:27,899 Is he winding me up? 263 00:19:27,899 --> 00:19:34,340 'It's not strictly legal, but there are no victims. The only person to lose out is the taxman.' 264 00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:35,820 And who cares about him, eh? 265 00:19:39,219 --> 00:19:43,300 Sounds like a bloody good scam. It is! It is a bloody good scam. 266 00:19:43,300 --> 00:19:45,259 'Your deal.' 267 00:19:54,099 --> 00:19:55,139 Yes, once. 268 00:19:55,139 --> 00:19:56,819 And? 269 00:19:59,820 --> 00:20:03,260 And...now I'm not. 270 00:20:03,260 --> 00:20:05,380 Touchy subject. No, no. 271 00:20:06,980 --> 00:20:10,259 No, erm...she cheated on me. 272 00:20:10,259 --> 00:20:15,460 Sorry. ..So you split up? Yeah, had to, really. 273 00:20:17,899 --> 00:20:23,219 I beat the guy half to death with a baseball bat and got sent to prison for three years. 274 00:20:23,219 --> 00:20:25,300 You beat someone with a baseball bat? 275 00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:29,459 Why so surprised? Erm, because it's quite out of character. 276 00:20:30,259 --> 00:20:33,419 What, you'd expect me to con him to death? No. 277 00:20:33,419 --> 00:20:41,020 No, it's just there's clearly a whole new side to you that I didn't know. 278 00:20:42,859 --> 00:20:45,619 The Neanderthal side. 279 00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:48,260 Yeah, yeah, I keep it well hidden. 280 00:20:48,260 --> 00:20:52,859 Maybe you shouldn't. Some women like that kind of thing. Is that so? 281 00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:56,100 Apparently. What about you? 282 00:20:56,100 --> 00:20:58,499 No serious relationships? 283 00:20:58,499 --> 00:21:01,299 I had three dates with the same guy once. 284 00:21:01,299 --> 00:21:03,740 Three! He was quite sweet, actually. 285 00:21:03,740 --> 00:21:08,300 So why no fourth date? He told me he loved me. And that's a bad thing? 286 00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:13,740 Well, he took me for dinner twice, and then he took me to the movies to see Spiderman 3, 287 00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:18,419 so I think the whole "I love you" thing was a little premature, don't you think? 288 00:21:18,419 --> 00:21:24,339 You don't believe in love at first sight? Absolutely not. Oh, my lady, you have no romance in your soul. 289 00:21:24,339 --> 00:21:31,300 No, but I haven't felt the need to hit someone with a baseball bat either. Hmm. 290 00:21:31,300 --> 00:21:37,019 Tell the truth, I'm starting to think I may not be cut out for the whole business thing. 291 00:21:37,019 --> 00:21:39,059 Horses for courses and all that. 292 00:21:39,059 --> 00:21:42,020 Well, with this, you don't need to be. 293 00:21:42,020 --> 00:21:44,460 Hmm. Even so. 294 00:21:48,700 --> 00:21:52,179 No, you're right. You should never invest in a business deal 295 00:21:52,179 --> 00:21:54,820 unless you're sure it's the right deal for you. 296 00:21:56,180 --> 00:22:02,500 Couldn't have put it better myself. Besides, it's probably a bit rich for you, anyway. 297 00:22:02,500 --> 00:22:08,099 Oh, no, no, no, it's not the money, I've got shed loads of that. The old inheritance just kicked in. 298 00:22:09,700 --> 00:22:11,579 'Alfie's the son of a duke.' 299 00:22:11,579 --> 00:22:13,260 Yes, he is! 300 00:22:13,260 --> 00:22:15,860 'Must be a few grand, then. Hardly! 301 00:22:15,860 --> 00:22:20,699 'I wasn't sure of the full amount, you know, clauses and all that, but then I got a statement' 302 00:22:20,699 --> 00:22:27,580 this morning. I'm not one to boast, but...slightly more than a few thou. 303 00:22:31,859 --> 00:22:32,900 Bloody hell. 304 00:22:37,379 --> 00:22:39,100 Four mill. 305 00:22:39,100 --> 00:22:40,139 Good, good. 306 00:22:40,139 --> 00:22:44,099 'Very nice. Add to that my winnings from tonight,' 307 00:22:44,099 --> 00:22:47,540 of course. Yes, well, we haven't finished yet, have we? 308 00:22:47,540 --> 00:22:50,180 That sounds like fighting talk. It is. 309 00:22:51,820 --> 00:22:53,380 Raise three grand. 310 00:22:59,579 --> 00:23:02,939 'Erm...I'd spend half of it on women, booze and casinos' 311 00:23:02,939 --> 00:23:09,380 and...I'd waste the rest. A man after my own heart. 312 00:23:09,380 --> 00:23:11,020 And Justin? 313 00:23:11,020 --> 00:23:15,059 I'd buy four million pounds worth of dirty cash from my guy, turn it into eight. 314 00:23:15,059 --> 00:23:20,299 'That way I'd have twice as many women and booze as Garry over there. 315 00:23:20,299 --> 00:23:22,619 'Excellent. What about you, James?' 316 00:23:22,619 --> 00:23:27,939 'Well, I guess I'd be tempted to go along with Justin's plan, but one of the advantages' 317 00:23:27,939 --> 00:23:30,379 of age is it teaches you caution. 318 00:23:30,379 --> 00:23:36,260 So I'd invest some of your inheritance in your cash scam and see what happened. 319 00:23:36,260 --> 00:23:40,220 And if it worked, I'd invest the rest. 320 00:23:41,380 --> 00:23:44,019 Sounds like a bloody good idea. 321 00:23:44,019 --> 00:23:46,580 Dip the old toe in the water jobbie. 322 00:23:46,580 --> 00:23:47,980 Indeed. 323 00:23:51,779 --> 00:23:55,620 Eight mill does have a slightly better ring to it than four. 324 00:23:55,620 --> 00:23:58,660 'Yes, that's very true, it does.' 325 00:23:58,660 --> 00:24:03,220 Ain't that the truth?! 'Justin, this deal sounds interesting. I think I might' 326 00:24:03,220 --> 00:24:05,459 come and meet this chap of yours. 327 00:24:07,739 --> 00:24:09,539 I'm sure I can sort something out. 328 00:24:09,539 --> 00:24:11,179 Cheers. 329 00:24:11,179 --> 00:24:15,699 They've gone for it. They've bloody gone for it! 330 00:24:15,699 --> 00:24:19,860 Yes! Oh, we've got them, we have so got them! 331 00:24:19,860 --> 00:24:23,540 Hook, line and bloody sinker! 332 00:24:23,540 --> 00:24:26,740 They are finished! 333 00:24:28,780 --> 00:24:32,420 So...would you ever get married again? 334 00:24:32,420 --> 00:24:35,059 No. Why not? 335 00:24:37,459 --> 00:24:41,899 Because I think that women choose their men a little like their clothes. 336 00:24:41,899 --> 00:24:46,380 They'll buy a dress even though it's isn't exactly what they want or doesn't quite fit, 337 00:24:46,380 --> 00:24:49,180 thinking they'll fix it when they get it home. 338 00:24:49,180 --> 00:24:51,820 I think that's why a lot of women like bad boys. 339 00:24:51,820 --> 00:24:54,140 They see them as exciting raw material. 340 00:24:54,140 --> 00:24:57,580 So from that, I take it your wife didn't like who you were. 341 00:24:57,580 --> 00:25:00,100 No, she didn't like what I did. 342 00:25:00,100 --> 00:25:02,500 She wasn't a grifter? No. 343 00:25:02,500 --> 00:25:06,659 Well, maybe next time you should marry someone in the same line of business. 344 00:25:08,460 --> 00:25:10,499 Is that a proposal? 345 00:25:12,659 --> 00:25:14,339 You wish. 346 00:25:14,339 --> 00:25:18,739 I think I'd have far more trouble with you than I ever did my ex-wife. Almost certainly. 347 00:25:20,380 --> 00:25:24,740 Joining this crew is the best thing to have happened to me and Sean. 348 00:25:25,660 --> 00:25:28,259 I don't think I've ever thanked you properly. 349 00:25:30,980 --> 00:25:34,860 Actually, I think I should thank you too. Why? 350 00:25:34,860 --> 00:25:37,099 For knocking me back. 351 00:25:37,099 --> 00:25:38,780 What? 352 00:25:39,779 --> 00:25:43,020 On our first score together, when I asked you out to dinner. Oh! 353 00:25:44,620 --> 00:25:50,419 I think you were right, it would have made things...complicated. 354 00:25:50,419 --> 00:25:52,780 It wasn't you personally. 355 00:25:52,780 --> 00:25:55,460 It's just men in general. 356 00:25:55,460 --> 00:25:56,620 But me in particular. 357 00:25:57,580 --> 00:25:59,140 No. 358 00:26:00,220 --> 00:26:04,019 It was just a bit quick, we'd only just met. 359 00:26:04,019 --> 00:26:05,459 So it was just timing? 360 00:26:08,579 --> 00:26:10,899 I don't know! Maybe. 361 00:26:13,139 --> 00:26:18,460 How does a man, with my...limited knowledge of the female psyche, 362 00:26:18,460 --> 00:26:21,980 know when the timing is right? 363 00:26:21,980 --> 00:26:23,579 He doesn't. 364 00:26:25,299 --> 00:26:28,300 He just has to roll the dice and see what happens. 365 00:26:34,340 --> 00:26:36,820 DOOR OPENS SUDDENLY Sean played a blinder! 366 00:26:36,820 --> 00:26:40,060 His Lordship went for it. 367 00:26:40,060 --> 00:26:41,419 Great, that's great. 368 00:26:42,539 --> 00:26:44,180 Yeah! 369 00:26:44,180 --> 00:26:46,660 I thought we'd be waiting for you all night. 370 00:26:46,660 --> 00:26:48,299 Yeah, me too. 371 00:26:55,580 --> 00:26:57,579 Mmm. 372 00:26:57,579 --> 00:27:00,539 So...phase one complete. 373 00:27:00,539 --> 00:27:03,379 Their arses are mine. 374 00:27:03,379 --> 00:27:05,780 Their arses are ours. 375 00:27:05,780 --> 00:27:07,739 Yes, of course, sorry, ours. 376 00:27:07,739 --> 00:27:11,659 This is going to work, isn't it? Absolutely. It can't fail. 377 00:27:11,659 --> 00:27:15,419 Especially now they've seen that account, they won't be able to resist. 378 00:27:15,419 --> 00:27:18,260 But if their formula has a weakness, then so must ours. 379 00:27:18,260 --> 00:27:21,060 Well, it hasn't. 380 00:27:21,060 --> 00:27:24,899 These people humiliated me once. 381 00:27:24,899 --> 00:27:28,659 Do you really think I would leave anything to chance? 382 00:27:30,820 --> 00:27:33,659 Sean, Ash was just saying you did really well. 383 00:27:33,659 --> 00:27:35,579 He's taught me a lot. So it seems. 384 00:27:35,579 --> 00:27:39,580 I told him I'd set the meeting up for tomorrow. Tomorrow, yeah. Perfect. 385 00:27:39,580 --> 00:27:43,980 Tell you the truth, it was a little bit easier than I thought. 386 00:27:43,980 --> 00:27:48,899 Maybe I'm a natural. Maybe we should see how tomorrow goes first, shall we? 387 00:27:55,379 --> 00:27:58,139 Ah, Alfie! Well done! 388 00:27:58,139 --> 00:28:02,099 Yeah, thought I played it rather well myself - and I'm three grand up. 389 00:28:04,580 --> 00:28:07,659 So much for "to the victor the spoils". 390 00:28:07,659 --> 00:28:12,419 Seriously, though, CW, it's actually a rather good deal, it might be worth a punt. 391 00:28:12,419 --> 00:28:16,220 What? No, you arse, it's... 392 00:28:16,220 --> 00:28:17,939 No, never mind. 393 00:28:19,859 --> 00:28:24,940 What time are you meeting him? Er...Justin said he'd set it up and tell me first thing. 394 00:28:24,940 --> 00:28:28,700 And this first deal is for a million? Just like CW said. 395 00:28:28,700 --> 00:28:30,940 - What did I tell you? - So we're on. 396 00:28:30,940 --> 00:28:35,260 Yes, we are. OK, Alfie, let's run through tomorrow. Sit down. 397 00:28:35,260 --> 00:28:37,419 Forget about your bit of fluff, sit down! 398 00:28:39,979 --> 00:28:41,819 Right, tomorrow, step by step. 399 00:28:41,819 --> 00:28:46,300 Marvellous. OK, they're going to offer you a deal for a million pounds. Gotcha. 400 00:28:46,300 --> 00:28:51,340 You tell them that if it goes well, but ONLY if it goes well, we'll invest the whole four mill. 401 00:28:51,340 --> 00:28:55,539 Wouldn't it be easier to invest the whole four mill straightaway? 402 00:28:55,539 --> 00:28:59,780 No. Why not? 403 00:29:02,660 --> 00:29:05,339 Two reasons for that, Alfie. 404 00:29:05,339 --> 00:29:07,900 Firstly, we'd never see them again. 405 00:29:07,900 --> 00:29:10,499 Secondly, it's NOT YOUR BLOODY MONEY! 406 00:29:13,700 --> 00:29:15,059 Gotcha. 407 00:29:16,619 --> 00:29:21,020 Where's Kuala Lumpur? Malaysia. So... Is it hot? 408 00:29:21,020 --> 00:29:26,259 Not as hot as it is over here, we've been waiting for our drinks for half an hour. 409 00:29:28,300 --> 00:29:29,419 Blimey. 410 00:29:29,419 --> 00:29:33,539 So we're good to go. I think so. You do realise that if we double this guy up, 411 00:29:33,539 --> 00:29:38,779 a million will clean us out completely, it's every penny we've got. If anything goes wrong... 412 00:29:38,779 --> 00:29:44,180 Yeah, I know, I know. Well, just so long as we're sure. I am. So we go. 413 00:29:44,180 --> 00:29:45,659 We go. 414 00:29:50,699 --> 00:29:54,059 Morning. We need to see someone from accounts, please. 415 00:29:54,059 --> 00:29:55,940 Can I help? And you are? 416 00:29:55,940 --> 00:29:58,660 I'm the head of accounting. Good. 417 00:30:00,780 --> 00:30:03,660 Joe Winter, Customs and Excise. 418 00:30:03,660 --> 00:30:05,819 This is Justin Tyler. 419 00:30:05,819 --> 00:30:08,219 Your name, please? Stephen...Glencross. 420 00:30:08,219 --> 00:30:10,219 Stephen Glencross. 421 00:30:10,219 --> 00:30:15,299 And you were the signatory on the last VAT return to be submitted from this address? 422 00:30:15,299 --> 00:30:19,379 Yes. Is there a problem? You might have submitted an incorrect return, 423 00:30:19,379 --> 00:30:22,139 which might mean an additional amount to pay. 424 00:30:22,139 --> 00:30:27,580 We'll need an office and access to your purchase invoices for the last three months. 425 00:30:27,580 --> 00:30:32,140 It's not a very good time. Do you understand the nature of a spot-check, Mr Glencross? 426 00:30:32,140 --> 00:30:34,020 The clue's in the title. 427 00:30:34,020 --> 00:30:36,860 The issues we have can be cleared up in an hour or so. 428 00:30:36,860 --> 00:30:41,260 But if I have to come back, it will be for a full investigation. 429 00:30:41,260 --> 00:30:42,779 Mmm. 430 00:30:42,779 --> 00:30:44,260 Follow me. 431 00:30:45,019 --> 00:30:49,859 It's all a bit frantic here at the moment. Busy time of the year. 432 00:30:49,859 --> 00:30:54,100 I'll squeeze you into MY office if that's all right. Here we are. 433 00:30:58,699 --> 00:31:01,540 I'll have that paperwork brought in. 434 00:31:01,540 --> 00:31:05,459 I'm expecting two colleagues. Have them shown through when they arrive. 435 00:31:05,459 --> 00:31:09,020 Does it really take four of you? I have 12 officers at my disposal. 436 00:31:09,020 --> 00:31:12,380 If I choose to, I will invite all of them. Sorry, I didn't mean... 437 00:31:12,380 --> 00:31:16,979 I'm aware of what you meant, that as bureaucrats we are wasteful with resources. 438 00:31:16,979 --> 00:31:21,259 But if we were to find you'd underpaid your taxes, I think reclaiming that money 439 00:31:21,259 --> 00:31:25,420 and the resulting fines would be an excellent use of resources, don't you? 440 00:31:25,420 --> 00:31:29,540 Yes, sorry. I'll bring the paperwork in. 441 00:31:29,540 --> 00:31:31,020 Thank you. 442 00:31:39,140 --> 00:31:41,420 OK, Mickey and Sean are in. 443 00:31:41,420 --> 00:31:46,139 That's great, Justin, we're on our way now, should be about two minutes. Yeah, bye. 444 00:31:47,340 --> 00:31:50,700 Awfully good of you to come with me, Garry, old chap. 445 00:31:50,700 --> 00:31:55,739 Not a problem. I'm getting some cash together for next month. Justin said I should meet this guy. 446 00:31:55,739 --> 00:31:59,140 This contact of his will definitely be there? Yes, he will. 447 00:31:59,140 --> 00:32:01,340 Excellent. Excellent. 448 00:32:01,340 --> 00:32:03,899 So, how was your date last night? 449 00:32:03,899 --> 00:32:06,899 Date? The redhead. 450 00:32:06,899 --> 00:32:13,220 Oh, yeah. Ate like a horse, drank a bottle of Pinot Grigio, not so much as a fumble. 451 00:32:14,059 --> 00:32:16,979 So much for hot blood. I haven't given up yet. 452 00:32:16,979 --> 00:32:20,140 Thought I'd take her home, meet Ma and Pa at the weekend. 453 00:32:20,140 --> 00:32:24,619 Stately homes are renowned for turning the most frigid thing into a raving nympho. 454 00:32:38,939 --> 00:32:41,139 Mr Glencross? You've got visitors. 455 00:32:41,139 --> 00:32:46,699 - Morning. We're here to see Justin Tyler, I think he's expecting us. - Yes, of course. 456 00:32:48,220 --> 00:32:51,899 I'm sure you'll find everything is in order. Yeah? Bloody good show. 457 00:32:51,899 --> 00:32:53,459 Alfie, good to see you again. 458 00:32:56,979 --> 00:32:59,300 Thank you. ..Of course. 459 00:33:01,700 --> 00:33:04,659 Joe, this is Alfie, the guy I was telling you about. 460 00:33:04,659 --> 00:33:09,820 Very pleased to meet you. You too. This is Garry Penning. He'll be coming in next month. No problem. 461 00:33:09,820 --> 00:33:12,860 Gentlemen, please, take a seat. 462 00:33:15,539 --> 00:33:22,540 Now, I'm sure Justin has explained to you how we do this. Sounds marvellous. 463 00:33:22,540 --> 00:33:28,420 And also impressed on you the need for absolute discretion. Mum's the word. Good. 464 00:33:28,420 --> 00:33:34,619 So, when do we do this? I have a new batch of dirty cash arriving this afternoon. 465 00:33:34,619 --> 00:33:36,059 Two million. 466 00:33:37,979 --> 00:33:41,139 I can probably take half. Half, good. 467 00:33:41,139 --> 00:33:43,180 And the rest? 468 00:33:43,180 --> 00:33:47,579 Well, like I said, I'll have to wait till next time round. 469 00:33:47,579 --> 00:33:49,379 Alfie? 470 00:33:49,379 --> 00:33:52,900 I've got four mill to invest, but thought I'd start with 471 00:33:52,900 --> 00:33:54,820 a toe in the water jobbie. 472 00:33:54,820 --> 00:33:56,740 How much? 473 00:33:56,740 --> 00:33:58,499 So, a mill to start with? 474 00:33:58,499 --> 00:34:01,379 OK, well a million will get you two million back in return. 475 00:34:01,379 --> 00:34:05,899 Seeing as it's your first time, I won't charge you for cleaning the cash through my accounts. 476 00:34:05,899 --> 00:34:08,060 That's fair, I suppose. 477 00:34:08,060 --> 00:34:10,660 Looks like we take half each then. Mmm, good. 478 00:34:10,660 --> 00:34:12,460 If all goes according to plan, 479 00:34:12,460 --> 00:34:17,419 I would like to invest the full four mill next time, yeah? 480 00:34:17,419 --> 00:34:18,579 Agreed. 481 00:34:18,579 --> 00:34:24,419 OK, gentlemen, if you will meet me at the Alderville at five o'clock, 482 00:34:24,419 --> 00:34:29,500 bring the cash, and I'll make sure I have everything in place. Perfect. 483 00:34:29,500 --> 00:34:33,820 So when do we go again after this? Just say the word. Look forward to doing business with you. 484 00:34:33,820 --> 00:34:36,980 Looking forward to spending my profits. I'm sure you are! 485 00:34:36,980 --> 00:34:38,259 Bye-bye. Bye-bye. 486 00:34:43,499 --> 00:34:44,979 How's it looking? 487 00:34:46,820 --> 00:34:48,819 Pretty good so far. 488 00:34:48,819 --> 00:34:52,499 Well, I say that, some might think a million a bit over the top. 489 00:35:01,820 --> 00:35:04,900 Everything seems to be in order. But... 490 00:35:04,900 --> 00:35:07,899 Problem? No. No. 491 00:35:07,899 --> 00:35:09,299 Thanks for your help. 492 00:35:35,540 --> 00:35:38,059 So in about an hour, 493 00:35:38,059 --> 00:35:40,820 we're going to be a million up, right? Uh huh. 494 00:35:40,820 --> 00:35:43,620 So isn't that a good time to cut and run? 495 00:35:43,620 --> 00:35:45,499 Come on, where's the fun in that?! 496 00:35:47,020 --> 00:35:50,660 You know, I don't think I'll ever understand the way your mind works. 497 00:35:50,660 --> 00:35:53,459 It's not about the money, it's about the game. 498 00:35:55,739 --> 00:35:57,860 So you do like playing games then? 499 00:36:02,660 --> 00:36:05,139 OK. I think I know where this is going. 500 00:36:05,139 --> 00:36:07,379 Where is this going? 501 00:36:07,379 --> 00:36:11,379 Because yesterday you were going to kiss me. Yes, I was. 502 00:36:11,379 --> 00:36:13,979 And then I realised it would be a dumb thing to do. 503 00:36:13,979 --> 00:36:17,139 Cos I was such a bad kisser last time? 504 00:36:17,139 --> 00:36:20,860 No, far from it! No, but... 505 00:36:20,860 --> 00:36:23,140 I... 506 00:36:23,140 --> 00:36:24,980 That was work. Uh huh? 507 00:36:24,980 --> 00:36:28,420 Well, I don't think I have different kisses for work and pleasure. 508 00:36:28,420 --> 00:36:29,459 Emma... 509 00:36:29,459 --> 00:36:33,980 We would never work as a team if you and I were... 510 00:36:33,980 --> 00:36:36,980 Kissing for pleasure. Exactly. 511 00:36:38,339 --> 00:36:39,539 Can't argue with that. 512 00:36:40,580 --> 00:36:45,939 I mean, if Ash and Albert don't find the need, why should we? 513 00:36:45,939 --> 00:36:48,179 That's a very good point. 514 00:36:48,179 --> 00:36:49,740 I have lots of them. 515 00:36:49,740 --> 00:36:52,140 Yes, you do. 516 00:36:56,299 --> 00:36:57,380 Oh, no. 517 00:36:57,380 --> 00:36:59,699 What? You've got that look again. What look? 518 00:36:59,699 --> 00:37:01,979 That I'm about to kiss you look. 519 00:37:01,979 --> 00:37:04,900 Sorry, I was... Don't be! 520 00:37:04,900 --> 00:37:07,539 I probably had it as well. Ah. 521 00:37:07,539 --> 00:37:10,780 Shall I just go back inside? That could work. I think... Yeah. 522 00:37:10,780 --> 00:37:12,020 Thanks. 523 00:37:18,659 --> 00:37:20,140 Five minutes, Mick. 524 00:37:27,899 --> 00:37:30,940 They've taken the bait, so now we do the deal. 525 00:37:30,940 --> 00:37:33,059 I'm really going to enjoy this. 526 00:37:33,059 --> 00:37:34,940 And the money we paid into the account? 527 00:37:35,219 --> 00:37:36,740 Untouched, as promised. 528 00:37:36,740 --> 00:37:40,139 So, as soon as they hand over the £2million that's it? 529 00:37:40,139 --> 00:37:43,859 Well, not quite. I thought it might be quite good fun for us 530 00:37:43,859 --> 00:37:46,340 to watch them squirm for a little bit. 531 00:37:46,340 --> 00:37:49,619 Too right. Then I'll send my boys in to beat the crap out of them. 532 00:37:49,619 --> 00:37:50,660 Excellent. 533 00:37:52,140 --> 00:37:55,059 God, this feels so good. 534 00:37:55,059 --> 00:37:57,900 Right, Alfie, time to go. 535 00:37:57,900 --> 00:38:00,300 Remember what I told you to do? Absolutely. 536 00:38:00,300 --> 00:38:02,220 Everything? Give them the case, 537 00:38:02,220 --> 00:38:05,540 tell them I can't wait to see how it goes so I can invest the rest. 538 00:38:05,540 --> 00:38:08,699 And then arrange when to pick up my profit. And? 539 00:38:08,699 --> 00:38:13,019 That since I'm investing in cash I want my profit in cash. Very good. 540 00:38:13,019 --> 00:38:15,460 Well done. Off you go then. 541 00:38:15,460 --> 00:38:18,419 And remember, straight back here after. Gotcha. 542 00:38:18,419 --> 00:38:20,619 Alfie? Case. 543 00:38:20,619 --> 00:38:22,100 Yeah. 544 00:38:27,980 --> 00:38:29,419 You set? 545 00:38:30,460 --> 00:38:32,660 Yeah. 546 00:38:32,660 --> 00:38:34,100 Thanks for this, Mickey. 547 00:38:36,100 --> 00:38:38,020 For what? 548 00:38:38,020 --> 00:38:41,380 You know, working the inside like this. 549 00:38:41,380 --> 00:38:45,340 You've done a fantastic job, but I can't take all the credit. 550 00:38:45,340 --> 00:38:48,619 You working the inside 551 00:38:48,619 --> 00:38:49,900 was Ash's idea. 552 00:38:51,499 --> 00:38:53,100 Ash? Head's up. 553 00:38:56,499 --> 00:38:58,499 Bang on time. Didn't want to miss this. 554 00:38:58,499 --> 00:39:00,940 Good to see you. And you. 555 00:39:00,940 --> 00:39:03,620 So, Justin has his investment. Do you have yours? 556 00:39:03,620 --> 00:39:05,899 All present and correct. 557 00:39:05,899 --> 00:39:10,619 Lovely. I hope this works. 558 00:39:10,619 --> 00:39:13,379 Can't wait to double up the whole four mill. 559 00:39:13,379 --> 00:39:15,059 Believe me, it works. 560 00:39:15,059 --> 00:39:18,140 I've made the necessary purchase, the rest is up to Justin. 561 00:39:18,140 --> 00:39:23,140 It'll be processed and ready to collect...tomorrow afternoon? 562 00:39:23,140 --> 00:39:25,420 OK, but listen, I want my profit in cash, yeah? 563 00:39:25,420 --> 00:39:28,580 That is, after all, how I invested. 564 00:39:28,580 --> 00:39:30,940 Of course. Alfie, always a pleasure. 565 00:39:30,940 --> 00:39:32,499 Likewise. 566 00:39:32,499 --> 00:39:35,500 Gentlemen, shall we say tomorrow, 12 noon? 567 00:39:35,500 --> 00:39:37,779 Fine by me. Perfect. 568 00:39:37,779 --> 00:39:40,820 Do the business, then off with the red for the weekend. 569 00:39:54,379 --> 00:39:57,340 Are we really gonna double this guy up? 570 00:39:57,340 --> 00:40:01,540 It's just like any other convincer. Yeah, but the stakes are higher. 571 00:40:01,540 --> 00:40:04,220 It's just a question of holding your nerve. 572 00:40:04,220 --> 00:40:08,699 It's a big call, Mick. But whatever you say we'll go with. 573 00:40:12,300 --> 00:40:14,860 Oh, come on, Stone! 574 00:40:14,860 --> 00:40:19,259 You talk the talk, now walk the bloody walk. 575 00:40:19,259 --> 00:40:21,179 Do it, you spineless bastard! 576 00:40:21,179 --> 00:40:25,260 Where's your bollocks?! I've made the bet, now call me. 577 00:40:25,260 --> 00:40:26,739 Just do it! 578 00:40:28,900 --> 00:40:30,379 Do it! 579 00:40:34,300 --> 00:40:36,300 Yeah, we do it. 580 00:40:36,300 --> 00:40:39,460 Do we even know where all our money is? 581 00:40:39,460 --> 00:40:43,340 Well, it's sort of all over the place, we'll have to split up. 582 00:40:43,340 --> 00:40:45,259 Then let's get started. 583 00:40:54,980 --> 00:40:57,739 Ash, you got a minute? Yeah. 584 00:40:59,459 --> 00:41:04,060 Mickey told me it was your idea for me to take the step up. Oh. I never had him down for a grass. 585 00:41:06,540 --> 00:41:08,460 You know, I just wanted to say thanks. 586 00:41:08,460 --> 00:41:11,859 People haven't exactly queued up to believe in me in the past. 587 00:41:11,859 --> 00:41:13,379 It's normally just Emma. 588 00:41:14,980 --> 00:41:17,459 I suppose... 589 00:41:17,459 --> 00:41:20,540 I suppose I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate it. 590 00:41:20,540 --> 00:41:24,059 Oh, stop, I'm getting misty. Seriously. 591 00:41:24,059 --> 00:41:26,259 Thank you. 592 00:41:26,259 --> 00:41:28,220 It's a pleasure. 593 00:41:28,220 --> 00:41:30,460 Come on, let's go and get some money. Yeah. 594 00:42:00,699 --> 00:42:04,060 Thanks, Harry. That's great. Just make your way back here. 595 00:42:04,060 --> 00:42:05,659 Yeah, OK. 596 00:42:05,659 --> 00:42:12,139 Right. So they've all met up again at their bar, which means they've raised the money. 597 00:42:12,139 --> 00:42:17,060 We've got them. We have bloody well got them! 598 00:42:17,060 --> 00:42:19,780 Not till we've got their money, we haven't. 599 00:42:19,780 --> 00:42:24,899 Trust me. I know how these people work, we have studied them. 600 00:42:24,899 --> 00:42:30,500 There is absolutely no way they're gonna pass up the chance of taking the four million. 601 00:42:30,500 --> 00:42:35,419 They'll pay out the million-pound convincer tomorrow, I guarantee it. 602 00:42:35,419 --> 00:42:39,380 Oh, I am loving this! Right! A toast! 603 00:42:39,380 --> 00:42:44,900 To me, for being smarter than Michael Stone. 604 00:42:44,900 --> 00:42:48,499 And to us for taking them on at their own game. 605 00:42:48,499 --> 00:42:51,019 Cheers. Cheers. 606 00:42:52,580 --> 00:42:55,020 Never seen two million quid before. 607 00:42:55,020 --> 00:42:56,940 Not all in one place. 608 00:42:56,940 --> 00:42:59,219 It's a thing of beauty. 609 00:42:59,219 --> 00:43:01,299 EMMA: It's a lot of shoes. 610 00:43:01,299 --> 00:43:03,379 ASH: It's a lot of everything. Can I ask something? 611 00:43:03,379 --> 00:43:05,619 ASH: No, you can't take it home for the weekend. 612 00:43:05,619 --> 00:43:08,900 It's just we're a million quid up - how come we're not legging it? 613 00:43:10,460 --> 00:43:13,579 What we do is an art form. 614 00:43:13,579 --> 00:43:16,699 Grifting is the aristocracy of crime. 615 00:43:19,379 --> 00:43:22,300 Legging it is not an option. EDDIE: Borneo! 616 00:43:22,300 --> 00:43:24,300 ASH: Not now, Eddie. Right. 617 00:43:24,300 --> 00:43:27,100 So we're going ahead with it then? 618 00:43:27,100 --> 00:43:31,660 Not only giving this moron his million back but giving him another one to go on top of it. 619 00:43:31,660 --> 00:43:34,060 That's exactly what we're going to do. 620 00:43:34,060 --> 00:43:36,260 EDDIE: Phuket. My thoughts exactly, Ed. 621 00:43:36,260 --> 00:43:40,100 ASH: I think you'll find it's pronounced Phoo-ket, actually. 622 00:43:40,420 --> 00:43:43,819 All right, tomorrow, noon. 623 00:43:43,819 --> 00:43:45,619 Let's see where the dice fall. 624 00:43:52,700 --> 00:43:54,940 You've got some balls, Mickey. 625 00:43:54,940 --> 00:43:56,900 HE CHUCKLES Thank you. 626 00:43:56,900 --> 00:44:00,419 Still not sure I understand this whole game thing. 627 00:44:00,419 --> 00:44:02,059 Is your heart beating fast? 628 00:44:02,059 --> 00:44:04,420 Yeah. Like a train. 629 00:44:04,420 --> 00:44:06,540 Then you understand better than you think. 630 00:44:09,459 --> 00:44:13,180 OK, you take the case and you open it, OK? 631 00:44:13,180 --> 00:44:16,379 Right. Check the bundles, make sure they're all real. Real? 632 00:44:16,379 --> 00:44:21,259 Yes. They're all real notes, no cut out paper underneath or anything. Gotcha. 633 00:44:22,860 --> 00:44:27,499 If it's all there, take it out to your car and you deliver it back to the office, like I told you. 634 00:44:29,540 --> 00:44:31,659 Money to office. Understood. 635 00:44:31,659 --> 00:44:36,220 Good. They'll want to talk to you about investing the rest of the money, just stall them, 636 00:44:36,220 --> 00:44:38,300 say you've got a car on the meter. 637 00:44:38,300 --> 00:44:40,739 Take the money out to the car. 638 00:44:40,739 --> 00:44:43,020 Everything's OK, give us a sign. 639 00:44:43,020 --> 00:44:45,220 What kind of sign? 640 00:44:45,220 --> 00:44:46,860 A sign that everything's OK, 641 00:44:46,860 --> 00:44:49,579 that the money's kosher and it's all in the case. 642 00:44:49,579 --> 00:44:53,580 Like a thumbs up jobbie? Excellent. 643 00:44:53,580 --> 00:44:56,620 A thumbs up jobbie would be splendid. 644 00:44:56,620 --> 00:45:00,460 Now, you got all that? Absolutely. 645 00:45:00,460 --> 00:45:02,459 Off you go then. 646 00:45:22,780 --> 00:45:24,619 Alfie, over here. 647 00:45:26,860 --> 00:45:28,259 Hello, chaps. 648 00:45:28,259 --> 00:45:30,620 All right? How are you? 649 00:45:30,620 --> 00:45:33,980 Well, went like a dream. 650 00:45:33,980 --> 00:45:36,780 We doubled up. Bloody hell. 651 00:45:36,780 --> 00:45:40,859 The good news is, Joe's got another deal lined up. This one's a biggy. 652 00:45:40,859 --> 00:45:43,739 Yeah? If you come in for the whole four million, 653 00:45:43,739 --> 00:45:46,860 I can turn it into eight, maybe even ten. Outstanding. 654 00:45:46,860 --> 00:45:50,900 It might take a couple of days, but everything's lined up, ready to go. 655 00:45:50,900 --> 00:45:53,660 Can I take a look? 656 00:45:53,660 --> 00:45:55,700 Of course. 657 00:45:55,700 --> 00:46:00,179 It's all yours. £2 million. 658 00:46:02,300 --> 00:46:04,420 Bloody marvellous. 659 00:46:04,420 --> 00:46:05,980 Hmm. 660 00:46:13,779 --> 00:46:15,260 What are you doing? 661 00:46:15,260 --> 00:46:19,699 Just...feeling it! It's all there. 662 00:46:21,299 --> 00:46:23,820 Don't doubt it for a second, old boy. 663 00:46:23,820 --> 00:46:25,979 So shall we arrange another deal? 664 00:46:27,780 --> 00:46:30,779 Well, I'd be mad not to. Yes, you would. 665 00:46:33,020 --> 00:46:35,059 Damn it. What? 666 00:46:35,059 --> 00:46:37,820 I left the car on a meter, I need to top it up. 667 00:46:37,820 --> 00:46:41,540 Leave it! I mean, it's not as though you can't afford the fine! Eh?! 668 00:46:41,540 --> 00:46:42,820 It's not the fine! 669 00:46:42,820 --> 00:46:46,099 They clamp the bloody thing, takes all day to get it back, 670 00:46:46,099 --> 00:46:49,380 and I'm off for the weekend. I'll be back in a jiff. Yeah, but... 671 00:46:55,699 --> 00:46:58,979 You do realise he just walked out the door with £2 million, yeah? 672 00:46:58,979 --> 00:47:00,300 Stay calm, stay calm. 673 00:47:00,300 --> 00:47:02,059 The game has a way to go yet. 674 00:47:02,059 --> 00:47:03,580 Let's get a drink. 675 00:47:12,100 --> 00:47:14,939 Oh, dear God. 676 00:47:14,939 --> 00:47:16,379 OK, let's go. 677 00:47:29,980 --> 00:47:32,339 About time. 678 00:47:32,339 --> 00:47:35,340 Ah! 679 00:47:35,340 --> 00:47:36,659 Mickey Bricks. 680 00:47:36,659 --> 00:47:38,180 As I live and breathe. 681 00:47:40,140 --> 00:47:44,219 Remember me? Should I? 682 00:47:44,219 --> 00:47:46,340 Yeah. Spider's web? 683 00:47:46,340 --> 00:47:48,820 Half a million quid, my painting. 684 00:47:48,820 --> 00:47:51,260 Carlton. That's right. 685 00:47:51,260 --> 00:47:55,539 Carlton and...Harry, if I'm not mistaken. How are you, Harry? 686 00:47:55,539 --> 00:47:57,459 Very well, thank you. How are you? 687 00:47:57,459 --> 00:48:00,380 Are you kidding me? 688 00:48:00,380 --> 00:48:04,379 Not interrupting anything, am I? No, not really. 689 00:48:04,379 --> 00:48:07,100 No? Not in the middle of a business deal or anything? 690 00:48:07,100 --> 00:48:10,019 You know money laundering, that sort of thing? Good one. 691 00:48:10,019 --> 00:48:12,380 Thanks. 692 00:48:12,380 --> 00:48:14,700 Oh, look, there it is. 693 00:48:16,259 --> 00:48:18,140 He's working it out, bless him. 694 00:48:20,260 --> 00:48:23,460 Let me try and make it simple for you. 695 00:48:23,460 --> 00:48:26,579 Explain things, step by step. 696 00:48:26,579 --> 00:48:29,980 Firstly, I've just stuffed you. 697 00:48:29,980 --> 00:48:32,660 Stuffed you. Seriously, Harry... 698 00:48:35,659 --> 00:48:37,619 But you know what makes it even better? 699 00:48:39,699 --> 00:48:42,620 I've done it for twice what you took me for. 700 00:48:42,620 --> 00:48:45,340 Which makes me smarter than you. 701 00:48:45,340 --> 00:48:48,059 Twice as smart in fact. 702 00:48:50,819 --> 00:48:52,780 Oh! Oh, this is good! 703 00:48:52,780 --> 00:48:56,060 This is so good! 704 00:48:56,060 --> 00:48:57,659 Oh, yes! 705 00:48:57,659 --> 00:49:02,780 You see, Stone, this is my city. 706 00:49:02,780 --> 00:49:06,179 Hell, it was built for people like me. 707 00:49:06,179 --> 00:49:13,300 Big, to match my ambition. High, so I can look down at all the little people. 708 00:49:13,300 --> 00:49:19,739 So for you to think that you, a petty little crook, 709 00:49:19,739 --> 00:49:25,940 could come into my city and con me out of my money and get away with it? 710 00:49:25,940 --> 00:49:27,220 No. 711 00:49:27,220 --> 00:49:28,459 Well... 712 00:49:28,459 --> 00:49:31,900 let's say it'll take a better man than you. 713 00:49:31,900 --> 00:49:37,099 So I think you'll find that 714 00:49:37,099 --> 00:49:39,539 and match. 715 00:49:47,420 --> 00:49:49,979 Finished? What? 716 00:49:49,979 --> 00:49:54,220 I was just asking if you had finished. 717 00:49:54,220 --> 00:49:56,339 No, not really. 718 00:49:56,339 --> 00:49:59,699 I thought I'd stay and gloat for most of the afternoon. 719 00:49:59,699 --> 00:50:02,140 About what exactly? 720 00:50:02,140 --> 00:50:03,620 About what... 721 00:50:06,540 --> 00:50:08,339 You're funny. 722 00:50:08,339 --> 00:50:11,579 About the fact that I've won. 723 00:50:11,579 --> 00:50:14,220 I've beaten you. 724 00:50:14,220 --> 00:50:16,179 Really? 725 00:50:16,179 --> 00:50:18,340 Yeah, really. 726 00:50:21,739 --> 00:50:22,739 Are you sure? 727 00:50:39,899 --> 00:50:41,939 What? 728 00:50:41,939 --> 00:50:44,339 Why are you grinning? 729 00:50:44,339 --> 00:50:45,900 I've got your money! 730 00:50:45,900 --> 00:50:47,820 Why are you bloody grinning? 731 00:50:47,820 --> 00:50:50,020 Why are they grinning? 732 00:50:50,020 --> 00:50:54,740 Hey, I have got your money, you moron. 733 00:50:57,220 --> 00:51:00,899 Alfie? What the hell are you doing here? 734 00:51:00,899 --> 00:51:02,539 Bit of a prob, old son. 735 00:51:02,539 --> 00:51:05,179 What do you mean bit of a prob? What the... 736 00:51:09,459 --> 00:51:12,700 What's going on? Let me make it simple for you, 737 00:51:12,700 --> 00:51:17,299 explain things, step by step. 738 00:51:18,620 --> 00:51:22,340 Firstly, when you came up with your...plan, 739 00:51:22,340 --> 00:51:25,660 you had to find like-minded people. Am I right? 740 00:51:25,660 --> 00:51:29,380 Who else to deliver the bait than former marks? 741 00:51:29,380 --> 00:51:31,339 But tell me, 742 00:51:31,339 --> 00:51:35,260 where did you find them...exactly? 743 00:51:52,219 --> 00:51:55,980 Well, I'll be damned. What is it? Look. 744 00:52:00,260 --> 00:52:07,500 You told me you found them through extensive bloody research! I did. 745 00:52:07,500 --> 00:52:10,780 And an ad in the Telegraph. What?! 746 00:52:10,780 --> 00:52:14,579 So we thought we would join the party. 747 00:52:22,180 --> 00:52:24,939 Evening, all. Thanks for coming. 748 00:52:24,939 --> 00:52:31,780 I've got a little job for you. Hello? 749 00:52:31,780 --> 00:52:33,779 Is that Harry Fielding? 750 00:52:33,779 --> 00:52:35,019 Speaking. 751 00:52:36,100 --> 00:52:39,620 Harry Fielding. Hi, I'm calling about the ad you placed. 752 00:52:39,620 --> 00:52:44,099 Yes, Olympic committee... Swampland. 753 00:52:44,099 --> 00:52:45,899 Sounds like our man. 754 00:52:45,899 --> 00:52:49,540 Have you been conned? Mate, he sold me the Sydney bloody Opera House! 755 00:52:49,540 --> 00:52:53,260 HE LAUGHS 756 00:52:53,260 --> 00:52:56,260 You were kind enough to tell 'em what you were planning. 757 00:52:56,260 --> 00:53:01,579 They've recruited an old school friend of Wood's to play the mark. 758 00:53:01,579 --> 00:53:04,179 Alfred Baron. 759 00:53:04,179 --> 00:53:06,620 Baron is a penniless aristocrat. 760 00:53:06,620 --> 00:53:11,340 But the story they'll tell is that he's just come into a huge inheritance of £4 million. 761 00:53:13,659 --> 00:53:16,260 No. No, wait, wait! 762 00:53:16,260 --> 00:53:19,339 You all gave me £1 million! 763 00:53:19,339 --> 00:53:22,380 Actually, we all wrote you a cheque. 764 00:53:22,380 --> 00:53:25,939 Which shows up on your bank statement. 765 00:53:25,939 --> 00:53:28,300 Until they bounce. 766 00:53:28,300 --> 00:53:30,859 No... 767 00:53:30,859 --> 00:53:32,779 You had the bloody money! 768 00:53:35,059 --> 00:53:36,059 Ah. 769 00:53:38,060 --> 00:53:41,459 All done. Just have to drop this off, we can be on our way. 770 00:53:41,459 --> 00:53:43,940 Why don't you pop it in the boot? 771 00:53:55,660 --> 00:53:57,539 Justin, hello. 772 00:53:57,539 --> 00:54:01,859 Listen, chaps, I only have a couple of hours. I have a filly in the starting blocks. 773 00:54:01,859 --> 00:54:02,819 Oh, yeah? 774 00:54:04,979 --> 00:54:09,100 Red head. Never had a ginger before, and I hear they're very hot blooded. 775 00:54:14,820 --> 00:54:16,259 I say! 776 00:54:19,220 --> 00:54:20,900 You look good enough to eat. 777 00:54:20,900 --> 00:54:25,700 Well, maybe we should stick to the menu, avoid upsetting the other diners. Top drawer! 778 00:54:25,700 --> 00:54:28,140 Nice baps and a sense of humour. 779 00:54:28,140 --> 00:54:31,859 Outstanding! Shampoo? Mmm. 780 00:54:32,660 --> 00:54:35,060 "Ah" what? 781 00:54:37,460 --> 00:54:41,219 No, no, no, no! You bloody idiot! 782 00:54:41,219 --> 00:54:43,180 And you... 783 00:54:43,180 --> 00:54:46,580 You are such an arse! 784 00:54:46,580 --> 00:54:48,740 Why am I surrounded by such 785 00:54:48,740 --> 00:54:51,059 bloody idiots?! 786 00:54:51,059 --> 00:54:53,259 Fortunately, I don't have that problem. 787 00:54:53,259 --> 00:54:54,820 "Fortunately I don't have that..." 788 00:54:54,820 --> 00:54:56,499 Bully for you! 789 00:54:57,659 --> 00:54:59,459 Arse! 790 00:54:59,459 --> 00:55:02,220 Carlton, Carlton, Carlton... What can I say? 791 00:55:03,659 --> 00:55:05,980 Nice try. But like the man said... 792 00:55:05,980 --> 00:55:08,420 No cigar. 793 00:55:09,259 --> 00:55:10,899 Oh. Oh-oh! 794 00:55:10,899 --> 00:55:12,580 No. No! 795 00:55:12,580 --> 00:55:14,059 Not again! 796 00:55:20,819 --> 00:55:22,259 Arse. 797 00:55:26,420 --> 00:55:29,899 Oh, one question. Be my guest. 798 00:55:29,899 --> 00:55:31,859 You had my million yesterday. 799 00:55:31,859 --> 00:55:33,700 Why keep up the pretence? 800 00:55:33,700 --> 00:55:35,699 Why not cut and run when you had it? 801 00:55:37,300 --> 00:55:39,819 And miss this? 802 00:55:56,100 --> 00:55:58,380 Still not 100% with what's going on. 803 00:56:00,539 --> 00:56:02,459 Do you have a sister? 804 00:56:04,060 --> 00:56:07,379 Red hair and drives a sports car? That's the jobbie. 805 00:56:07,379 --> 00:56:09,299 I'll give you her love. 806 00:56:10,860 --> 00:56:12,339 Outstanding. 807 00:56:15,539 --> 00:56:17,540 THEY LAUGH 808 00:56:23,260 --> 00:56:26,180 ARSE! 809 00:56:33,179 --> 00:56:34,220 To us. 810 00:56:46,699 --> 00:56:50,020 Bournemouth? EMMA: There's nothing wrong with Bournemouth. 811 00:56:50,020 --> 00:56:53,100 ASH: Seven miles of golden beach. Mini golf. Ice cream and hot dogs. 812 00:56:53,100 --> 00:56:55,980 The English Riviera. I don't want to go to Bournemouth. 813 00:56:55,980 --> 00:56:58,219 That's where we're going. Eddie, are you sure? 814 00:56:58,219 --> 00:57:00,980 But what about Kuala Lumpur? What about Thailand? 815 00:57:00,980 --> 00:57:03,500 ASH: It's too hot. Are you sure you' won't come with us? 816 00:57:03,500 --> 00:57:07,259 No, I'm not. I'm going to get a flight to Spain. You're welcome to come. 817 00:57:07,259 --> 00:57:10,780 No, I want to get a tan. Can't go on holiday without getting a tan. 818 00:57:12,700 --> 00:57:14,819 Suit yourself. 819 00:57:18,540 --> 00:57:20,499 Bring us back a donkey. 820 00:57:27,059 --> 00:57:29,459 EMMA: Don't you think that was a bit too mean? 821 00:57:29,459 --> 00:57:31,259 Why? You could have told him 822 00:57:31,259 --> 00:57:34,300 we were going to Bournemouth to pick up the motor yacht. 823 00:57:34,300 --> 00:57:38,340 True. ASH: But then we'd have had to tell him about sailing to France. 824 00:57:38,340 --> 00:57:42,060 Before the two weeks in Monaco. Flying to Barbados. His little face though! 825 00:57:42,060 --> 00:57:45,500 ASH: He had his chance, we told him he could come with us. He could have. 826 00:57:45,500 --> 00:57:47,420 EMMA: No, you should have told him the truth. 827 00:57:47,420 --> 00:57:49,419 ASH: We're grifters, he should know better. 828 00:57:49,419 --> 00:57:53,219 If Eddie wanted to spend time with us he could have done it in Bournemouth. 829 00:57:53,219 --> 00:57:55,259 He really wanted was a free holiday. 830 00:57:55,259 --> 00:57:58,180 ASH: As con-men and women of good standing it is our duty 831 00:57:58,180 --> 00:58:00,459 to take someone who wants something for nothing. 832 00:58:00,459 --> 00:58:03,820 And give them nothing for something. So what was the something? 833 00:58:03,820 --> 00:58:07,780 ASH: I booked this on his credit card. I love this job! 834 00:58:09,220 --> 00:58:12,419 Oi, driver! Let's turn the music up! 835 00:58:43,260 --> 00:58:47,099 Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd 836 00:58:47,099 --> 00:58:50,419 E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk 837 00:59:10,899 --> 00:59:13,379 He is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me. 838 00:59:13,379 --> 00:59:15,500 I love you so much. 839 00:59:15,500 --> 00:59:17,500 I want us all to be together properly. 840 00:59:17,500 --> 00:59:21,459 I'm new here. I just don't want people talking about me. 841 00:59:21,459 --> 00:59:24,260 I don't know their names and they don't know mine. 842 00:59:24,260 --> 00:59:25,779 It's just something I need. 843 00:59:25,779 --> 00:59:28,940 Aagh! How did you get those? Are you going to tell me who she was? 844 00:59:28,940 --> 00:59:30,500 Please do not lie to me any more. 845 00:59:30,500 --> 00:59:33,580 Stop this now. You just can't mess with people's lives like that! 846 00:59:33,580 --> 00:59:38,500 This is bad for you and he's dangerous. You have to stop. 847 00:59:38,500 --> 00:59:41,459 Oh, what a tangled web we weave, 848 00:59:41,459 --> 00:59:43,940 when first we practise to deceive. 849 01:00:28,339 --> 01:00:29,020 Tonight 850 01:00:29,020 --> 01:00:29,260 Tonight at 851 01:00:29,260 --> 01:00:29,780 Tonight at 10.00. 852 01:00:29,780 --> 01:00:30,539 Tonight at 10.00. Banned 853 01:00:30,539 --> 01:00:30,659 Banned from 854 01:00:30,659 --> 01:00:31,379 Banned from Britain, 855 01:00:31,379 --> 01:00:31,619 Banned from Britain, the 856 01:00:31,619 --> 01:00:31,820 Banned from Britain, the Dutch 857 01:00:31,820 --> 01:00:32,219 Banned from Britain, the Dutch MP 858 01:00:32,219 --> 01:00:32,779 Banned from Britain, the Dutch MP who 859 01:00:32,779 --> 01:00:33,139 who campaigns 860 01:00:33,139 --> 01:00:33,380 who campaigns against 861 01:00:33,380 --> 01:00:34,219 who campaigns against Islam. 862 01:00:34,219 --> 01:00:35,020 who campaigns against Islam. Turned 863 01:00:35,020 --> 01:00:35,380 Turned away 864 01:00:35,380 --> 01:00:35,620 Turned away at 865 01:00:35,620 --> 01:00:35,740 Turned away at Heathrow, 866 01:00:35,740 --> 01:00:35,980 Turned away at Heathrow, Geert 867 01:00:35,980 --> 01:00:36,419 Turned away at Heathrow, Geert Wilders 868 01:00:36,419 --> 01:00:36,899 Wilders is 869 01:00:36,899 --> 01:00:37,019 Wilders is judged 870 01:00:37,019 --> 01:00:37,459 Wilders is judged a 871 01:00:37,459 --> 01:00:37,739 Wilders is judged a threat 872 01:00:37,739 --> 01:00:37,979 Wilders is judged a threat to 873 01:00:37,979 --> 01:00:38,300 Wilders is judged a threat to public 874 01:00:38,300 --> 01:00:38,980 public safety 875 01:00:38,980 --> 01:00:39,179 public safety as 876 01:00:39,179 --> 01:00:39,580 public safety as he 877 01:00:39,580 --> 01:00:40,420 public safety as he taunts 878 01:00:40,420 --> 01:00:40,659 public safety as he taunts the 879 01:00:40,659 --> 01:00:40,859 public safety as he taunts the Government. 880 01:00:40,859 --> 01:00:40,979 Government. Your 881 01:00:40,979 --> 01:00:41,180 Government. Your Prime 882 01:00:41,180 --> 01:00:41,579 Government. Your Prime Minister 883 01:00:41,579 --> 01:00:41,780 Government. Your Prime Minister Brown 884 01:00:41,780 --> 01:00:42,140 Brown is 885 01:00:42,140 --> 01:00:42,620 Brown is really 886 01:00:42,620 --> 01:00:43,940 Brown is really the 887 01:00:43,940 --> 01:00:44,620 Brown is really the biggest 888 01:00:44,620 --> 01:00:44,900 Brown is really the biggest coward 889 01:00:44,900 --> 01:00:44,979 Brown is really the biggest coward in 890 01:00:44,979 --> 01:00:45,340 in Europe 891 01:00:45,340 --> 01:00:45,539 in Europe and 892 01:00:45,539 --> 01:00:46,259 in Europe and not 893 01:00:46,259 --> 01:00:46,619 in Europe and not allowing 894 01:00:46,619 --> 01:00:46,859 in Europe and not allowing free 895 01:00:46,859 --> 01:00:47,099 in Europe and not allowing free speech 896 01:00:47,099 --> 01:00:47,339 speech from 897 01:00:47,339 --> 01:00:47,659 speech from a 898 01:00:47,659 --> 01:00:48,499 speech from a parliamentarian 899 01:00:48,499 --> 01:00:49,220 speech from a parliamentarian from 900 01:00:49,220 --> 01:00:49,460 speech from a parliamentarian from another 901 01:00:49,460 --> 01:00:50,140 another country. 902 01:00:50,140 --> 01:00:51,140 another country. Designed 903 01:00:51,140 --> 01:00:51,340 another country. Designed to 904 01:00:51,340 --> 01:00:52,420 another country. Designed to stir 905 01:00:52,420 --> 01:00:52,620 another country. Designed to stir up 906 01:00:52,620 --> 01:00:53,219 up religious 907 01:00:53,219 --> 01:00:53,700 up religious and 908 01:00:53,700 --> 01:00:53,939 up religious and racial 909 01:00:53,939 --> 01:00:55,100 up religious and racial hatred 910 01:00:55,100 --> 01:00:55,219 up religious and racial hatred in 911 01:00:55,219 --> 01:00:55,580 up religious and racial hatred in this 912 01:00:55,580 --> 01:00:56,019 this country 913 01:00:56,019 --> 01:00:56,540 this country is against 914 01:00:56,540 --> 01:00:56,740 this country is against our 915 01:00:56,740 --> 01:00:56,900 this country is against our laws. 916 01:00:56,900 --> 01:00:57,100 this country is against our laws. But 917 01:00:57,100 --> 01:00:57,340 But the 918 01:00:57,340 --> 01:00:58,259 But the decision 919 01:00:58,259 --> 01:00:58,379 But the decision is 920 01:00:58,379 --> 01:00:58,619 But the decision is attacked 921 01:00:58,619 --> 01:00:59,740 But the decision is attacked by 922 01:00:59,740 --> 01:00:59,939 But the decision is attacked by some 923 01:00:59,939 --> 01:01:00,019 some as 924 01:01:00,019 --> 01:01:01,700 some as an 925 01:01:01,700 --> 01:01:01,939 some as an assault 926 01:01:01,939 --> 01:01:02,140 some as an assault on 927 01:01:02,140 --> 01:01:02,539 some as an assault on freedom 928 01:01:02,539 --> 01:01:02,780 some as an assault on freedom of 929 01:01:02,780 --> 01:01:03,219 some as an assault on freedom of speech. 930 01:01:03,219 --> 01:01:03,419 speech. Also 931 01:01:03,419 --> 01:01:04,260 Also tonight. 932 01:01:04,260 --> 01:01:04,540 Also tonight. On 933 01:01:04,540 --> 01:01:04,859 Also tonight. On order, 934 01:01:04,859 --> 01:01:05,100 Also tonight. On order, a 935 01:01:05,100 --> 01:01:05,180 Also tonight. On order, a new 936 01:01:05,180 --> 01:01:05,459 Also tonight. On order, a new Super 937 01:01:05,459 --> 01:01:05,619 Also tonight. On order, a new Super Express 938 01:01:05,619 --> 01:01:06,220 Express train, 939 01:01:06,220 --> 01:01:06,579 Express train, but unions 940 01:01:06,579 --> 01:01:07,059 Express train, but unions say 941 01:01:07,059 --> 01:01:07,940 Express train, but unions say the 942 01:01:07,940 --> 01:01:08,099 Express train, but unions say the contract 943 01:01:08,099 --> 01:01:08,219 contract should 944 01:01:08,219 --> 01:01:08,459 contract should have 945 01:01:08,459 --> 01:01:08,699 contract should have gone 946 01:01:08,699 --> 01:01:08,900 contract should have gone to 947 01:01:08,900 --> 01:01:09,179 contract should have gone to a 948 01:01:09,179 --> 01:01:09,380 contract should have gone to a British 949 01:01:09,380 --> 01:01:09,739 British firm. 950 01:01:09,739 --> 01:01:10,300 British firm. Still 951 01:01:10,300 --> 01:01:11,020 British firm. Still held 952 01:01:11,020 --> 01:01:11,260 British firm. Still held in 953 01:01:11,260 --> 01:01:11,539 British firm. Still held in jail, 954 01:01:11,539 --> 01:01:11,699 British firm. Still held in jail, the 955 01:01:11,699 --> 01:01:12,339 the allies 956 01:01:12,339 --> 01:01:12,539 the allies of 957 01:01:12,539 --> 01:01:12,780 the allies of Zimbabwe's 958 01:01:12,780 --> 01:01:12,899 the allies of Zimbabwe's new 959 01:01:12,899 --> 01:01:13,379 the allies of Zimbabwe's new Prime 960 01:01:13,379 --> 01:01:13,579 the allies of Zimbabwe's new Prime Minister 961 01:01:13,579 --> 01:01:13,700 Minister and 962 01:01:13,700 --> 01:01:14,420 Minister and victims 963 01:01:14,420 --> 01:01:14,899 Minister and victims of 964 01:01:14,899 --> 01:01:19,780 Minister and victims of the 965 01:01:19,780 --> 01:01:19,900 Minister and victims of the Mugabe 966 01:01:19,900 --> 01:01:20,019 disruption in the 967 01:01:20,019 --> 01:01:20,099 disruption in the 968 01:01:20,099 --> 01:01:20,140 disruption in the north of 969 01:01:20,140 --> 01:01:20,179 disruption in the north of England 970 01:01:20,179 --> 01:01:20,219 disruption in the north of England and 971 01:01:20,219 --> 01:01:21,139 and Scotland. 972 01:01:21,139 --> 01:01:21,619 and Scotland. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net