1 00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:58,240 - Oh, yeah. - A job well done, wouldn't you say? 2 00:01:58,320 --> 00:01:59,719 Look at that! 3 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:01,438 You can't argue with 90 grand, can you? 4 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,795 But I do think Stacie's a little bit frustrated. 5 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:07,031 - I did not fancy him. - Yeah, right. 6 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:08,553 He was a mark. 7 00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:11,677 - You did say he was cute. - "Very cute," as I recall. 8 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:13,990 Yeah. Cute for a record collector. 9 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:17,117 Shouldn't knock record collectors, Stacie. They have very deep pockets. 10 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:20,192 I'm not knocking him. I just didn't fancy him. 11 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:23,192 - All right. Don't go on about it, Stace. - I'm not. 12 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,430 You know, I've a mind to get into record collecting. 13 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:26,555 Really? 14 00:02:26,640 --> 00:02:29,518 Yeah, you get 5 grand a shot for some Beatles albums. 15 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:32,273 - Charming young gentlemen. - Have you met them, Albert? 16 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:35,591 Oh, yes, yes. I got all their autographs. 17 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:37,955 Really? They must be worth a fortune, ain't they? 18 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:41,191 Yes. And every time I sell them, they're worth even more. 19 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:42,829 Okay. 20 00:02:42,920 --> 00:02:43,955 Yeah. 21 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:46,235 Stacie? 22 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:50,836 (MONITOR BEEPING) 23 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:56,479 So, who's the bird then? 24 00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:59,996 Emily Shaw. She and Stacie grew up together. 25 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,594 - What, the one with the charity? - Yeah. 26 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:04,193 Oh, right. 27 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:06,840 So what happened to her? Do we know? 28 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,510 MICKEY: You said the Weekend World had printed an apology. 29 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,876 STACIE: A paragraph on page nine. Who's gonna read that? 30 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:50,872 Not after a front-page banner saying she defrauded the charity 31 00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:54,111 and stole from the children she's been helping for years. 32 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:56,957 Will she recover? 33 00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:59,918 I don't know. She's still unconscious. 34 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:03,913 If she doesn't, it'll be the Weekend World's fault. 35 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:06,759 I'm gonna get those bastards. 36 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:09,274 - Stacie, I know you're upset. - No, I mean it, Mickey. 37 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:12,079 If I was a man, I would beat the crap out of them. 38 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:16,039 If I was a lawyer, I'd sue them. But I'm neither. 39 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:19,829 I'm a grifter, so I'll use that. 40 00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:24,990 Okay. We'll find a way. 41 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:30,388 Tabloids are powerful, Mickey. They can destroy people. 42 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:32,118 I don't see why you should all take that risk. 43 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:36,239 No, no, no, Stacie. Come on, we will all find a way. 44 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:40,519 Thanks, Mickey. 45 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:55,031 Gentlemen. 46 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:56,712 Gentlemen, gentlemen. 47 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:01,633 We have a new mark. 48 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:06,997 The Weekend World ran a sensational story, 49 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:12,793 accusing Emily Shaw of embezzling funds from her own charity, Educate Africa. 50 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:15,595 Emily had withdrawn a substantial cash sum, 51 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:17,830 but it was to pay for the building of a new school. 52 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:21,071 Tribal leaders in the Sudan don't take credit cards. 53 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,879 When this was pointed out to the World, they printed a retraction. 54 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:25,632 A paragraph on page nine. 55 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,116 The editor, Francis Owen. 56 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:35,953 It was Owen and this man, Timothy Millen, who ran the story on Emily. 57 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:40,393 - Danny? - Yeah, I went to a couple of journo bars. 58 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:44,909 The word is that Owen gives "scum bag" a whole new meaning. 59 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:48,310 Millen's just a sniveling creep, but he is ambitious. 60 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:53,235 So Millen's probably easier to target, and we can use him to get to Owen. 61 00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:54,875 Ash? 62 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:56,996 Yeah, well, research has been difficult. 63 00:05:57,080 --> 00:06:00,197 The one thing these people don't seem to write about is themselves. 64 00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:06,913 However, most of them have huge egos, so we used the Who's Who of journalists. 65 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:11,437 - I didn't know there was one. - There isn't, yet. 66 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,476 (TELEPHONE RINGING) 67 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:27,518 What? 68 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:33,679 I don't care if you have to wait there all week, you sit on that doorstep. 69 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,432 Listen, when no one's looking, 70 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:39,399 try scraping a key down the side of his flash convertible. 71 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:43,837 That should get a bloody reaction out of him. 72 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:47,037 Look, I'll make it simple. 73 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:50,430 You get me a quote, or find a new job. 74 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:51,953 Tosser. 75 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:54,429 I see you got one of those questionnaires as well, boss. 76 00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:55,953 They sent you one? 77 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,600 Must have been a piece I did about Camilla's cellulite. 78 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:01,752 - Well, what do you want? - Got a bit of bad news, chief. 79 00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:05,515 That Emily Shaw bird we did a story on just jumped off a bridge. 80 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:09,309 - Looks like attempted suicide. - You prat, Millen. Bad news? 81 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:10,799 That's the best news I've had all week. 82 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:12,791 You've lost me, chief. We've only just run the apology. 83 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:16,714 Well, that's just it, you muppet. If we run the attempted suicide, 84 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,837 it implies that we were telling the truth all along. 85 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:22,150 - Yeah, but we weren't. - Who cares? 86 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:27,597 - Innocent people don't commit suicide. - They do if they're depressed. 87 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,514 You've been watching too many episodes of Trisha, mate. 88 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:35,718 Get out of here and write it up. Send her some flowers to sweeten her up. 89 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:38,872 - Show her we care. - All right. 90 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:43,909 Hey, heavy on the suggestion, the insinuation. 91 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:45,149 Okay. 92 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:49,235 What if... What if she dies? 93 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:51,834 Then she can't answer back, can she? 94 00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:59,752 "Reason for choosing journalism as a career. 95 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:02,513 "Quest for the truth. To fight injustice." 96 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,079 Oh, please! 97 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:06,879 And I got a favorite restaurant, wife's name, children. 98 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:08,837 Oh, here we are. 99 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:13,277 Story you'd most like to break. "Edward declares he's gay. 100 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:16,511 "Marriage to Sophie is a sham." 101 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:17,953 What about Millen? 102 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:22,470 "Prince William in coke-fuelled orgy with Kate Moss." 103 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:24,713 What nice men. 104 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:27,155 Bit of an obsession with the royal family, don't you think? 105 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,276 Well, I ain't nicking the crown jewels again. 106 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:31,995 What? 107 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:37,598 Francis Owen lists favorite food as "Martin Townsend's heart grilled on toast." 108 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,638 Who's Martin Townsend? 109 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:43,952 He's the editor of the Sunday Express. They're locked in a circulation battle. 110 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:45,519 Hate each others' guts. 111 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:50,078 What we need to do is come up with the royal scoop of the century. 112 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:54,119 - What about Ash and Camilla? - Why me? 113 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,272 Well, I ain't being funny, mate. She's more your age than mine. 114 00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:59,555 I don't believe it, Danny's getting choosy. 115 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:03,918 Don't get me wrong, love. I love the older bird, much more grateful, 116 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:08,152 know their way around the sack, but Ash would be perfect with it. 117 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:13,311 Now hold up, hold up, hold up. There was a story my mum told me. 118 00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:16,153 One of those, sort of, royal urban legends, you know. 119 00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:21,239 Now, I don't know if we could make it work, but this legend has it 120 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:27,190 that the Queen Mum, right, God bless her, wasn't the Queen Mum. 121 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,876 Hello. Yeah, Regal Resemblance? 122 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:52,951 Yeah. How are you for young Queen Mums? 123 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:55,031 What a load of bollocks. 124 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:21,430 - Lovely mate. Got anything for me? - Yep. There you go. 125 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:23,119 Nice one, Cyril. 126 00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:45,276 - You on the job? - Yeah, you? 127 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:49,558 - Yeah, Weekend World. - Wow, I'd love to be in a national. 128 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:51,513 Who you with then? 129 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:54,433 Me? I've been at the Reading Courier five or so years now. 130 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:57,512 Local news, Mayor's new parking initiative, that sort of thing. 131 00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:00,592 - Hold the front page, eh? - Exactly. 132 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:05,108 - I'm Chris Carey. - Tim Millen. 133 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:12,315 What? Sorry. 134 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,558 You're the Tim Millen? 135 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:18,753 What, you heard of me? 136 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:21,229 Heard of you? You're my bloody hero. 137 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,149 No, really. 138 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:27,758 "Prince Harry Dressed as a Hooker." "Sophie Wessex, Fat or Pregnant?" 139 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:30,513 "Posh Finds Becks in the Loos." 140 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:32,511 Sure. You know your stuff. 141 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:35,592 Believe me, Tim, it's time I moved up to the top table. 142 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:40,791 - What do you reckon on this? - It's not a writ, is it? 143 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:43,519 No, no, no. Research. Fast food restaurants. 144 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:46,512 What do you reckon they do with all that fat they cook the food in? 145 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:49,996 Surprise me. 146 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:52,878 They dump it in London's Victorian sewers. 147 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:57,319 All that grease getting clogged up in the sewers in great disgusting lumps. 148 00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:00,756 It's like a brilliant metaphor for the arteries of the city 149 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:02,558 being clogged by all that fat. 150 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:05,996 How's about this for a metaphor? Your story is about as much use 151 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:09,629 as a one-legged man at an arse-kicking competition. 152 00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:11,639 That's a simile. 153 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:16,754 - You're leaving? - Places to be, matey. 154 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:22,119 Tim, Tim. Tim, there is something else I'm working on. 155 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:26,239 It's... It's sensational. I haven't quite nailed all the facts yet. 156 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:30,074 - But I think it's worth listening to. - Okay. 157 00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:33,630 You've got five seconds to interest me. One. Two. 158 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,234 - Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon. - Hey? 159 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:39,039 - The Queen Mum. - Yeah, I know who she is, you muppet. 160 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:40,553 What about her? 161 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:43,357 I was doing some research in a hospice, 162 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:45,271 residents, you know, complaining of ill-treatment. 163 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:48,113 - Not interested. - No, no, no, wait, wait, wait. 164 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:52,830 One of the old dears grabbed me. She'd been a maid at Buckingham Palace. 165 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:56,595 She had some incredible gossip about the Queen Mum during the war. 166 00:12:56,680 --> 00:12:57,829 Well, let's hear it. 167 00:12:57,920 --> 00:13:01,708 - Mr. Carey? - Oh, Murphy. This is Tim Millen. 168 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:03,916 The Tim Millen from the Weekend World. 169 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:07,629 - Hello, how do you do? - Mr. Millen. 170 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:10,679 Chris, I hope you haven't been discussing our investigation? 171 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:13,274 You're not a journalist as well, are you, Murphy? 172 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,430 - No, I'm not. - I didn't think so. 173 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:19,638 You don't look like the bunch of slappers we've got at the World. 174 00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:21,551 Chris, I've made some real progress with the case. 175 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:25,952 Now it's your call, but maybe we could go somewhere else and discuss it? 176 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:29,990 Yeah, okay. Let's head over to Eddie's Bar. 177 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:33,277 She's right. Better not say anything till I can stand all the facts up. 178 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:37,478 Still great to meet you, Tim, and big fan. 179 00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:40,393 See you again. Read you again, all right. 180 00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:03,435 What are those hotels called? Yeah, travel cabins. 181 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:06,512 Give them a load of free papers to hand out to guests. 182 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:09,194 We got to get our circulation figures up. 183 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:13,034 Gemma, when I'm being shafted week in, week out by the Express, 184 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,838 I take it personally. 185 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:16,717 Where the hell have you been? 186 00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:19,674 Chief, I've been... 187 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:24,230 I've been researching this feature on fast food restaurants 188 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:27,630 and their impact on the London sewage system. 189 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:30,871 The fat that's getting flushed down there is actually congealing. 190 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:34,430 It's almost as if the arteries of London are getting blocked up. 191 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:37,796 It's a very powerful simile. I'm very excited about it. 192 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:41,913 That's it? That's what you been working on? "Crap in the sewers shocker." 193 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:46,551 Tim, you are meant to be my top reporter. I need a front page. 194 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:49,438 Get out there. Get me a great bloody story! 195 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:50,714 Will do, sorry. 196 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:57,750 - Get me a coffee. - You what? 197 00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:00,035 I read your Robbie piece. It's cack, do it again! 198 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:03,271 - What do you mean, "It's cack"? - Just do it again! 199 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:44,712 - Hello, mate. The Blitz exhibition, please. - Yeah. 200 00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:57,873 NARRA TOR: sequel to the big blitz. 201 00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,871 Visitors, their majesties the King and Queen, 202 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:02,997 to districts in East London, which suffered very severely. 203 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:11,152 The royal visitors were whole-heartedly welcomed everywhere they went. 204 00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:13,390 And everywhere they went, their majesties saw 205 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:15,710 and admired the spirit of the people. 206 00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:17,428 WOMAN: How do we look? 207 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:21,433 That'll do fine. Now, let's get you in the frame, yeah? 208 00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:27,152 Okay, rolling. Here she comes, here she comes, here she comes. 209 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,435 She's there. She's in front of you, there. Curtsy. 210 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:33,069 Lovely, right, and she's moving back along down the line. 211 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:46,110 Yeah, hello, mate. Listen, can you transfer DVD to 16 mil? 212 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:54,279 Stick them on the tab. 213 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:57,033 I've just remembered your tab. You owe me 50 quid. 214 00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:59,714 Danny owes you 50, yeah. I'm in character. Chris Carey. Journalist? 215 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:01,028 You said you wouldn't forget. Remember? 216 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,109 - I haven't. - Good. 217 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:03,235 I think. 218 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:21,789 - Yes, mate. What can I get you? - Vodka and coke, please. 219 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:24,677 - Who's the bird? - Eh? 220 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:28,070 Over there in the corner, I'm sure I know her from somewhere. 221 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:31,550 That's Diane Murphy. She's a private investigator, I think. 222 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:33,033 That's it. 223 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:36,752 Maybe that bloke with her is her client, 224 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:38,956 and his missus is playing away from home. 225 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:43,033 Maybe. I think I'll go and say hello. Ta. 226 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:48,993 Good afternoon. 227 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:53,357 Tim, what are you doing here? 228 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,590 Don't tell me, it's a happy coincidence. 229 00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:58,194 Well, thing is, you got me going, mate. 230 00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:01,636 If you think you've got something on the royals, I might be able to help you. 231 00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:03,676 What have you told him, Chris? 232 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:05,796 Nothing, really. 233 00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:08,474 Oh, there she is, the Queen Mum. 234 00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:12,430 - God bless her. - lf you don't mind. 235 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:18,156 So what's your angle? It's got to be good if it's about the Queen Mum. 236 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:19,389 'Cause here's a little tip for ya, 237 00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:23,553 on the big papers we tend to write about the royals who are still alive. 238 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:24,755 Diana? 239 00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:28,716 She's a... She's a special case. 240 00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:30,638 Harold Felgate. 241 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:37,559 This is a special case. 242 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:42,031 Seriously, mate, if you decide to flog your story to one of your provincial rags, 243 00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:46,671 no one's gonna take a blind bit of notice. You'll still be a nobody, Chris. 244 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:49,995 If you wanna make a splash with a royal story, 245 00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:52,674 you've got to break it with a national. 246 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:55,035 I think we're gonna be fine on our own, Chris. 247 00:18:55,120 --> 00:18:58,192 Look, no offense, but you two are amateur hour. 248 00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:01,192 I know more about the royal family than you two ever will. You need me. 249 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:04,352 Really? Know it all, do you, Tim? 250 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:07,113 Lot more than you do, matey, that's for sure. 251 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:09,395 Well, let me ask you this. 252 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:11,516 - Chris. - No, no. 253 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:14,471 Where's the Queen Mother buried? 254 00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:18,990 Well, that's a toughie. St. George's Chapel, Windsor Castle. 255 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:23,519 Really? You reckon? Because her son says something very different. 256 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:26,717 Her son? She never had a son. 257 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:29,473 Please, Chris. I think we need to leave now. 258 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:31,551 Yeah. I'll see you, Tim. 259 00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:55,150 Hi, it's me. Get me a cab to the Homage Hotel, pronto! 260 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:16,638 Weekend World, mate. 261 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:32,877 - Was Millen outside? - Yeah, he was. 262 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:35,872 I need a couple of hours. Emily's conscious. 263 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:37,234 That's good news. 264 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:40,710 Well, we'll just sit tight here. I'm sure it won't be long before Millen bites. 265 00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:45,758 See ya later, babe. 266 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:56,438 - Hello. - Hi, Stacie. 267 00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:00,993 How are you feeling? We've been so worried about you. 268 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:08,111 I was an idiot to let it get to me. I wasn't thinking straight. 269 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,791 But you're all right now? 270 00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:13,710 And that's the main thing. 271 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:21,072 Wow. It's like a florist's in here. Who bought you those carnations? 272 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:25,750 Would you believe it? That monstrosity is from the World. 273 00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:27,353 You're joking. 274 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:29,271 There's a get well card, too. 275 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:37,952 They want an interview? 276 00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:39,996 Yeah, like that's gonna happen. 277 00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:42,670 How can people do things like that? 278 00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:46,868 - They're unbelievable. - To make things up with no foundation? 279 00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:47,995 Well, 280 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:52,757 maybe those bastards will get what's coming to them. 281 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:06,829 Nothing. 282 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:09,319 Where's your story, Millen? 283 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:12,597 Chief. Something cooking, got a big lead. 284 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:15,513 The Queen Mother, possible love child angle. 285 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:18,068 - You what? - Could be a biggie. 286 00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:20,515 Does the name Harold Felgate mean anything to you? 287 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:23,068 - No. - Well, I'm piecing it all together now. 288 00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:25,516 So, I'll bring you something as soon as it's all in place. 289 00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:27,318 This better lead to something, Millen. 290 00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:32,838 I want a story on my desk today, or you might find yourself writing obits. 291 00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:47,311 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 292 00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:49,639 Hello. 293 00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:52,951 Tony, how's life below stairs, mate? 294 00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:56,510 - You got anything for me? - Nothing at the moment, Tim. 295 00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:58,192 The shutters have come down big time 296 00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:01,238 since you ran that story about Charles flogging off the silver. 297 00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:03,436 Yeah, that was a cracker, wasn't it? 298 00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:07,513 Listen, Queen Mother. War years. 299 00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:11,639 Any rumors I should know about? Secret trysts? 300 00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:15,269 Could be nothing, but I keep hearing the name Harold Felgate. 301 00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:17,920 Felgate? No, I haven't heard that name round here. 302 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:23,031 Listen, Tim. I've got to go. 303 00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:40,674 Chris. 304 00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:43,154 - Tim. - You all right? 305 00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:46,471 Yeah. So what are you doing here? 306 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:49,632 How would you like a job on the Weekend World? 307 00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:53,353 - And I get my own desk? - Right next to mine. 308 00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:57,557 What about money? I'm on 20K at the Courier. 309 00:23:57,640 --> 00:23:59,756 - We'll double it. - Are you serious? 310 00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:03,236 You let me help you with this story, Chris, and everything will be negotiated 311 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:06,357 in good faith, down the line. What do you say? 312 00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:20,199 Who's that? 313 00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,469 It's the young Queen Mum. 314 00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:29,431 No, that's a lady called Cynthia Felgate. 315 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:34,149 You're winding me up. 316 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:37,232 No, no, no. I told you before. The old dear at the hospice, 317 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:42,110 she told me the Queen Mum died of TB, in '41. 318 00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:45,510 If it got out, it would have been disastrous for British morale. 319 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:50,037 I mean Hitler, Hitler described her as "the most dangerous woman in Europe." 320 00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:52,759 - She's the spitting image. - Exactly. That's the point. 321 00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:57,470 A commoner was found in the East End who looked exactly like the Queen Mum. 322 00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:02,236 This woman Cynthia Felgate was put in her place. That's the story. 323 00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:04,834 I followed it up, journalist's instinct, yeah? 324 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:08,674 - I deal in facts, not instinct. - Yeah, well, me too. 325 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:12,395 That's why, out of my own pocket, I hired Diane Murphy 326 00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:16,075 to do a bit of digging around, check the old girl's story out. 327 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:17,149 And? 328 00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:22,636 She found Cynthia Felgate's son. 329 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:26,395 The geezer you've got in the room upstairs? 330 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:29,040 - How do you know that? - I've got my sources. 331 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:32,072 So what's the plan? 332 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,793 He's the only living relative. 333 00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:41,192 He's the key to blowing this whole thing wide open. 334 00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:46,434 I wanna meet him. I want to meet the son. That's the deal. Take it or leave it. 335 00:25:52,360 --> 00:25:53,793 I thought you were an independent. 336 00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:56,519 No, no, no. I'm at the Weekend World now. 337 00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:59,433 Tim and I are covering the story together. That's not a problem, is it? 338 00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:00,589 Well, it might be. 339 00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:03,035 My client still has the right to take this story to the highest bidder. 340 00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:05,554 - And who are you? - Bob Sawgreen. 341 00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,438 Managing Director of Sawgreen Management, New York City. 342 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:09,669 You a lawyer? 343 00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:14,072 No, I'm Mr. Felgate's publicist. And as such, I decide who he talks to. 344 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:17,311 And since we haven't been paid a dime to cover our expenses, 345 00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:19,994 I may well advise my client to say nothing. 346 00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:21,997 Hang on, Bob. 347 00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,548 Your client would still be Joe Shmoe from Poughkeepsie 348 00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:25,789 if I had not dug this story... 349 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:27,154 Okay, let's just all chill out, shall we? 350 00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:29,356 I'm on board now, Mr. Felgate, and I can tell you 351 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:33,035 that my editor, Francis Owen, will make you a very attractive offer. 352 00:26:33,120 --> 00:26:36,351 Of that you have my word, okay? 353 00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:42,074 You're twisting my nuts. 354 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:45,357 - Is that good? - I don't think so. 355 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,351 You're telling me the Queen Mother 356 00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:50,637 is actually an imposter called Cynthia Felgate? 357 00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:52,073 Exactly, chief. 358 00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:53,912 This man is her son. 359 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:55,513 Harry? 360 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:59,115 Mr. Carey's call couldn't have come at a better time for me. You see, 361 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:02,556 I've been living... I am living in very reduced circumstances. 362 00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:08,112 Gambling debts and so on, and after the call I went right to Mr. Sawgreen here. 363 00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:12,429 I advanced my client some funds, paid some bills, things like that. 364 00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:17,958 And we got some things out of storage, which is where we found this. 365 00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:19,789 What's that? 366 00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:21,916 My client received this anonymously through the mail 367 00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:23,877 about, oh, a few years ago. 368 00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:25,518 And if you see, chief, 369 00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:31,709 it's actually postmarked February 2002, a month before the Queen Mum died. 370 00:27:32,360 --> 00:27:36,319 So, Cynthia decided, on her deathbed, 371 00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:39,949 to reach out to her long lost son? 372 00:27:40,120 --> 00:27:42,236 - What you got in there? - Proof. 373 00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:49,270 We have Cynthia Felgate's birth certificate, 374 00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:54,311 pictures of her and Harold here and herself. 375 00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:55,958 Oh, and this. 376 00:27:56,560 --> 00:28:00,951 Look, as you can see, the resemblance is uncanny. 377 00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:04,715 Cynthia was actually a few years younger than the Queen, 378 00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:09,555 and that's why they say the Queen Mum lived so long, apparently. 379 00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:12,958 I was told that my mother was killed in the London bombing, 380 00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:16,510 and that I was evacuated to the US as an orphan. 381 00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:19,791 - Do you mind if I hold on to these? - Yeah, I don't see why not. 382 00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:20,869 And this? 383 00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:24,350 This is an old piece of film, but I don't have any machine to run it on. 384 00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:26,556 I'm sure we can sort that out for you. 385 00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:32,476 Look, this is an interesting yarn, but none of this amounts to proof. 386 00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:34,790 Well, if you don't want it, I'm sure another paper will. 387 00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:36,711 Don't play hardball with me. 388 00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:40,754 Even the Sport wouldn't run with this. 389 00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:44,071 And they think that Elvis is living on the moon. 390 00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:49,109 If you want me to go to print with this, I'll need something concrete. 391 00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:52,909 Okay. Let's say... Let's say we get you that. 392 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,275 What would a story like this be worth? 393 00:28:57,720 --> 00:28:59,472 If I got all the rights? 394 00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:04,953 Maybe quarter of a million. 395 00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:13,235 Is that... Is that dollars or sterling? 396 00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:16,589 Sterling. 397 00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:20,270 We've got the birth certificate, chief. 398 00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:25,195 She was born, she existed. Must be a paper trail of documents somewhere. 399 00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:27,920 Public records, library cards, all that crap. 400 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:32,199 We can piece her life together, chief. 401 00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:35,349 This has got to be worth a punt. 402 00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:47,395 You got till Saturday. 403 00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:50,517 If it checks out, you got the front page. 404 00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:51,589 Yes! 405 00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:54,990 Before we get any further, is anyone else worried? 406 00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:59,393 - Problem, Danny? - Yeah. 407 00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:02,313 This is a risky con, Mick. It's a newspaper. 408 00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:06,552 If this blows up, all of us, faces in the tabloids. Knackered. 409 00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:12,430 - Do you all want to pull out? - No, no, no. We agreed. We can do this. 410 00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:13,839 Can't we, Danny? 411 00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:15,558 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 412 00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:17,953 It's Millen. 413 00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:25,596 Chris Carey. Hi, Tim. Yeah, lovely. 414 00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:27,352 Yeah, I'll get there. Bye. 415 00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:32,830 He wants to meet at Eddie's in an hour. He's obviously buying it. 416 00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:37,072 Maybe. But Owen isn't. We've still got a long way to go. 417 00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:42,073 All right, let's do it. 418 00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:44,355 - Okay, Ash, you set up? - Yeah, mate. 419 00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:47,955 Good. Then I will meet you two at Eddie's Bar in an hour. 420 00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:00,958 Got the time, mate? 421 00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:16,116 Michael Stone? 422 00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:18,919 I work for Her Majesty's Government. 423 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:22,356 We've been monitoring Francis Owen for some time. 424 00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:24,829 The libelous stories his paper continues to print 425 00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:28,310 about the royal family have become a matter of concern. 426 00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:31,794 So why am I here? 427 00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:35,793 Normally, we wouldn't bother ourselves with your petty criminal activities. 428 00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:37,632 But we are concerned about the lies 429 00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:40,029 you're constructing about the late Queen Mother. 430 00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:41,951 You're telling me that the Queen Mother 431 00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:45,350 was actually an imposter called Cynthia Felgate? 432 00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:46,873 This man is her son. 433 00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:48,996 Be under no illusions. 434 00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:55,395 Your lives won't be worth living if you proceed. 435 00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:57,749 Understand? 436 00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:08,078 - Yes? - Hello. Seen any of these? 437 00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:10,439 Yeah, only next door was riddled with them. 438 00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:11,999 Can you clear out for a couple of hours? 439 00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:14,753 - You got a mobile I can get you on? - Yeah. 440 00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:16,353 Yeah, well, I'll bell you when we're through, all right? 441 00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:18,158 You'd better come in a minute. 442 00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:25,833 Is this the Harold Felgate film? 443 00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:29,629 Yes, chief, I've put the clip on the hard drive. I'll start trying to clean it up. 444 00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:31,631 It's not just a case of Photoshopping something. 445 00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:33,950 The images are quite badly down-graded. 446 00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:36,110 Get what you can off of it. 447 00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:38,873 Where's Sawgreen? 448 00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:43,078 - To be honest, I don't know. - We should start without him. 449 00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:47,438 Okay. Let's. I'll put that there. 450 00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:50,872 So, questions. 451 00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:55,112 The house where your mum lived, do you remember where it was? 452 00:32:56,760 --> 00:32:58,318 I'm trying to think. 453 00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:03,433 - It was in the East End, yeah. - East End. 454 00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:07,229 And the number was something... 20, I think. 455 00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:10,676 I've lived in so many houses over so many years, it's just... 456 00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:14,510 - Sorry, I... - Hi. Where were you? We were worried. 457 00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:18,193 So many streets. It's very confusing. I got lost. 458 00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:21,431 Invest in an A-Z mate. We ain't got time for you to take the scenic route. 459 00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:26,439 DANNY: Okay. So let's just focus on this place. 460 00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:29,833 The East End. Anything else you remember? 461 00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:36,509 Yes, there was a row of terraced houses. 462 00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:37,914 Terraced? 463 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:42,437 Terraced houses? Well, that narrows it down to about 4,000 streets. 464 00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:45,355 - Diane, thanks for coming. - Mr. Millen. 465 00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:48,591 New arrangement in place, darling. I'm on the team. 466 00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:51,877 So now there's a pro running things, you can take a backseat. 467 00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:53,029 Hang on a minute, Millen. 468 00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:55,588 You're firing me? I haven't even been paid yet. 469 00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:57,830 You're not fired. Little bit out of order that, Tim. 470 00:33:57,920 --> 00:33:59,239 No, it's not quite like that. 471 00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:01,117 I just thought we'd get a better deal at the World. 472 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,794 Calm down, love. What is it? Time of the month? 473 00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:05,199 Excuse me? 474 00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:09,157 Oh, blimey. She's getting upset. That's no good. 475 00:34:09,240 --> 00:34:12,277 The last bird I upset ended up throwing herself in the Thames. 476 00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:14,509 I'm not joking. 477 00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:28,879 I don't like men like you, Millen. You're scum and you ruin peoples' lives. 478 00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:32,953 You write whatever you want, without any thought for the people you hurt. 479 00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:36,555 We sell two million copies, week in, week out. 480 00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:40,873 If there wasn't a market for it, I wouldn't have a job. 481 00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:44,512 And I respect that. 482 00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:49,268 Just hope you can respect my work in return. 483 00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:51,316 Of course. I mean, how would anyone ever get divorced 484 00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:53,994 without people like you sniffing round hotel rooms for them? 485 00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:57,515 I've got that address that you wanted, by the way. 486 00:34:57,600 --> 00:35:01,354 - What address? - The Felgate house. 487 00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:04,034 Cynthia's name is on the deeds of a house in the East End. 488 00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:06,111 - Number 23. Paradise Street. - Yeah! 489 00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:07,952 - E2. - That's it! 490 00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:11,919 I'm impressed. 491 00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:16,354 This is as good as it's going to get, boss. 492 00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:19,552 - That's the Queen Mum in the East End. - Hold it there. 493 00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:22,116 That's Felgate all right. There's the birth mark. 494 00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:24,316 Can you move in any closer? 495 00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:33,035 - Can you get me some stills of this? - No problem. 496 00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:39,628 Yeah, it's all coming back to me now. 497 00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:42,355 There weren't any cars here of course. 498 00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:45,839 We used to play football for hours here in the road. 499 00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:49,196 Anybody in? Hello? 500 00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:52,350 You're wasting your time. 501 00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:56,991 The yuppies are on holiday, again. Bloody property developers. 502 00:35:57,080 --> 00:35:59,674 There'll be no locals left before long. 503 00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:03,719 Good afternoon. Can I just ask you, have you lived here long? 504 00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:05,233 All me life, son. 505 00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:06,673 Can we ask you some questions? 506 00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:09,479 If you're from the Council, the dog's gone back to the kennel. 507 00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:12,120 We're not from the council, mate. We're from the Weekend World. 508 00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:14,714 You from the Revenue, ain't you, eh? 509 00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:17,997 No, no, he's just told you, we're from the Weekend World. 510 00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:20,640 I read the Mirror. 511 00:36:20,720 --> 00:36:24,599 - Can you read this? - I'll put the kettle on. 512 00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:26,679 Come on. 513 00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:40,832 I was only eight then, but I remember the Felgates, Harry and Cynthia. 514 00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:43,910 Oh, she was lovely, she was, yeah. 515 00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:49,438 We used to call her Queenie, on account of her resemblance to... 516 00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:52,112 How well did you know them? 517 00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:54,953 Well, I used to play with Harry, yeah. 518 00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:59,034 But then one day they was... They was just gone. 519 00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:02,999 - What happened to Cynthia? - Well, I... I don't know, son. 520 00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:08,312 We were told she died, in the Blitz. 521 00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:09,753 Yeah, maybe, maybe. 522 00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:14,994 There was... There was many killed, you know, night after night there. 523 00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:17,594 Your name is Sean, isn't it? 524 00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:23,559 How do you know? 525 00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:34,758 Harry? 526 00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:40,314 Oh, well, would you believe it? Harry Felgate, yeah. 527 00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:42,630 You're all grown up and American. 528 00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:47,156 Here, here, you haven't still got that bag of marbles I lent you, have you? 529 00:37:47,240 --> 00:37:49,515 No. I traded them for a skyscraper in New York. 530 00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:52,239 ALBERT: How about you? I say, how about you? 531 00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:06,634 Hold on. 532 00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:13,792 Christ almighty. 533 00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:17,716 - You say her name was Edna? - Edna, yeah, number 19, I think. 534 00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:19,438 Nineteen, and she was on the same side of the street. 535 00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:20,953 - Yeah, that's right. - It is. 536 00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:25,354 - Chief. - Millen? What's going on? 537 00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:27,590 Well, it's like a bloody family reunion here. 538 00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:30,194 Seems our Harry was a big hit with the neighbors. 539 00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:34,592 He's checking out here as well. Get everyone over, now. 540 00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:35,669 Will do. 541 00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:45,517 - Same brooch all right. - That's absolutely incredible. 542 00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:48,035 This is gonna be the scoop of the century. 543 00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:49,758 It's not quite enough. 544 00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:55,630 - You've got to be kidding me, chief. - It's my mother's brooch for certain. 545 00:38:55,720 --> 00:38:58,871 They could've just had the same taste in brooches. 546 00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:02,191 That doesn't prove she was a stand-in for the Queen Mum, does it? 547 00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:06,509 That whole side of the story is still circumstantial. 548 00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:09,673 Didn't think that bothered people like you. 549 00:39:10,240 --> 00:39:12,879 It's a question of degree, my love. 550 00:39:12,960 --> 00:39:17,954 Saying that Posh Spice had a boob job isn't quite the same as saying 551 00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:22,238 the dear old Queen Mum was an imposter called Cynthia Felgate. 552 00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:26,556 No, there's only one thing that's gonna clinch this, I'm afraid. 553 00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:28,073 What's that? 554 00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:38,990 - You mean DNA? - Yes. 555 00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:49,555 Chief, how are we gonna get the Queen Mother's DNA? 556 00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:53,952 I know they've got her dressing table as part of the royal collection, chief. 557 00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:57,874 - I'll do it. I'll go in. - No need. 558 00:39:57,960 --> 00:40:01,794 I've got good connections at the Palace, chief. I think I can swing it. 559 00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:04,356 I mean if the Mirror can get a man in there for three weeks, 560 00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:06,431 I'm sure I can manage an afternoon. 561 00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:10,274 Get the DNA back to the lab by 8:00 Saturday night. 562 00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:12,635 If it matches, we've got a story. 563 00:40:12,720 --> 00:40:19,432 If it doesn't, I'll have a lovely photo of you two on my front page, instead. 564 00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:23,833 "The Men Who Tried to Frame Francis Owen." 565 00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:25,399 I like it. 566 00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:29,069 Yeah. 567 00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:32,588 That brooch was supposed to be the clincher. 568 00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:35,717 There's no way that my DNA is going to match the Queen Mother's. 569 00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:37,791 Well, there is a simple way around this. 570 00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:40,917 Yeah, well, we ain't gonna dig up the Queen Mum, are we? 571 00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:43,719 No, of course not. Sorry, Albie. 572 00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:45,119 That hurt. 573 00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:49,398 - We'll have to plant Albert's DNA first. - You are joking. 574 00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:51,516 Millen's got an inside man. We're never gonna get in there. 575 00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:55,479 No, no, no, Stacie's right. We can do this, Danny. We have to. 576 00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:03,518 STACIE: Wow, where did you get all this stuff, Ash? 577 00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:05,158 Probably best you don't ask. 578 00:41:05,240 --> 00:41:08,357 Now, time's everything. Albert will be in contact with Danny, 579 00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:10,192 and I'll pass it down the line to you. 580 00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:11,679 Got it. What about the surveillance cameras? 581 00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:13,273 Yeah, that was tricky with the short notice, 582 00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:15,555 but I'll hack into the CCTV, but I can't shut them down. 583 00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:17,517 All I can do is track where you are 584 00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:20,353 and see if Stacie's got enough time to plant Albert's hair. 585 00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:23,830 Apart from that, you're on your own, all right? 586 00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:26,715 You're late, you idiot. Put this on. 587 00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:28,677 You ever tried running without looking suspicious? 588 00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:31,513 All the Queen Mum's stuff is on display in the Queen Anne room. 589 00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:33,238 - It's marked on that map. - Right. 590 00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:36,198 What are we actually looking for? 591 00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:37,952 TIM: There's a cabinet containing all her personal stuff. 592 00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:40,349 Her hairbrush should be covered in DNA. 593 00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:43,113 Hairbrush. In the Queen Anne Room. 594 00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:45,509 These passes will get you inside and out. 595 00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:50,116 The keys will open the display cases. If anything goes wrong, I don't know you. 596 00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:52,714 I've never met you, and you didn't get this stuff from me. 597 00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:54,677 All right, relax, mate. You'll give yourself an ulcer. 598 00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:56,751 There you go, three grand. Easy money. 599 00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:00,797 - Are you getting all this, Albert? - Yes. Now, see if you can hold him up 600 00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:02,996 until Stacie and Michael get to the Queen Anne room. 601 00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:04,718 - Yeah, yeah. - Aren't you ready yet? 602 00:42:04,800 --> 00:42:08,190 - Just got a bit of a wedgie. - Just come on, will you? Take that. 603 00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:10,794 Listen, the only reason you're here is if I go down, you go down with me. 604 00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:16,352 Tim, Tim, I just want to say, before we... You know, thank you for letting me in. 605 00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:18,396 - Yeah, all right. - And I just also want to say that... 606 00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:21,597 Shut up! Stop arsing around and let's get on with it! 607 00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:23,795 Hello, mate. 608 00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:28,074 Cheers. 609 00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:43,832 Two tickets, please. 610 00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:48,199 You going away this year? 611 00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:51,191 - Where you going? - Portugal. 612 00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:52,474 Oh, very nice. 613 00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:55,032 God, it's massive. 614 00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:56,997 - Good afternoon. - Afternoon. 615 00:42:57,080 --> 00:43:00,629 - So is this the servants' quarters then? - Keep it down, Chris. 616 00:43:00,720 --> 00:43:02,233 - Sorry. - You work here, remember? 617 00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:03,548 Yeah, that's right. 618 00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:08,395 - Regency Corridor is first floor. - Regency Corridor, first floor. 619 00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:12,109 They're heading to the Regency Corridor on the first floor. 620 00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:16,193 - Ash, we're in. Are you hooked up? - Yeah, I can see you. 621 00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:18,555 You need to head to the Queen Anne room. 622 00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:22,599 Millen's in the servants' quarters making his way up to the Regency Corridor. 623 00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:26,468 As soon as we pick him up, we'll go... Oh, shit. 624 00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:32,109 Oh, what a... 625 00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:35,069 Don't do this to me. 626 00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:36,629 Come on. 627 00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:42,511 Oh, what a pile of crap. 628 00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:44,431 We're just entering the Regency Corridor. 629 00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:47,671 - So this is the Regency Corridor? - Is it? I don't know. 630 00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:49,512 How long before Millen gets here? 631 00:43:49,720 --> 00:43:51,676 Come on. Yes. 632 00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:58,435 - Mickey, he's right on top of you. - I could use a little help here. 633 00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:01,080 Danny, Michael needs a diversion. 634 00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:04,436 Millen, is it me or does Her Maj look like one of the corgi's 635 00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:06,750 has done a little bit of a whoopsie under her nose? 636 00:44:07,240 --> 00:44:08,878 - What are you talking about? - No, just... 637 00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:11,235 - Just stop pissing about! - Doesn't look happy, does she? 638 00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:12,435 Help me work out where the hell we are. 639 00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:15,637 Not like she does in the stamps, when you see the smile. 640 00:44:15,720 --> 00:44:16,914 What? 641 00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:19,070 I think this is... Oh, here we are. It's upside down. 642 00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:20,752 It's right, it's fine. 643 00:44:54,880 --> 00:44:56,632 TIM: Are you sure this is the right way? 644 00:44:56,720 --> 00:44:58,756 DANNY: Definitely, definitely, it's just straight down here. 645 00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:02,838 Okay, Ash, we're here. 646 00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:07,072 You're looking for the Queen Mum 's hairbrush in the main cabinet. 647 00:45:07,160 --> 00:45:09,549 The cabinet's in the middle of the room. 648 00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:10,868 There are three cameras in total. 649 00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:15,192 One on the door, two on the balcony, each doing 180-degree rotation. 650 00:45:20,560 --> 00:45:22,073 There's only a three-second window 651 00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:25,550 when the cabinet isn't covered by one of the cameras. 652 00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:31,475 No, she'll never do it, Mick. 653 00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:39,319 Danny can't hold Millen forever. Stacie'll never beat the cameras. 654 00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:45,112 The three-second clearance just isn't enough. I think you should get out now. 655 00:45:45,200 --> 00:45:48,192 No, no, wait, I may have a blind spot. 656 00:45:50,440 --> 00:45:54,718 - Blind spot? I can't see it, mate. - Trust me. 657 00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:05,756 In 30 seconds, on my cue. 658 00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:12,910 I don't see this blind spot, Mick. 659 00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:15,912 She's in full view. 660 00:46:18,720 --> 00:46:19,994 Excuse me. 661 00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:25,473 Could you tell me where the Prince Philip Collection is, please? 662 00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:29,589 What the hell's going on? 663 00:46:29,680 --> 00:46:31,272 - Ash, what's happening? - I don't know, mate. 664 00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:33,828 It's just gone, innit? Come on. 665 00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:35,837 If you carry on down this corridor... 666 00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:39,189 Come on! 667 00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:42,508 All right, come on. 668 00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:47,991 It's the second door on the left. 669 00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:51,433 Come on, come on, come on. 670 00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:00,754 I'm sorry. I got completely confused. 671 00:47:03,040 --> 00:47:04,189 Jesus, where the hell are we? 672 00:47:04,280 --> 00:47:06,748 I'm sure I saw some display cases over there. 673 00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:10,150 We're back here again, you tosser. It's this way. 674 00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:14,354 Danny can't stall Millen anymore. 675 00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:21,236 Work you bastard! Yes! 676 00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:24,637 I don't see them. 677 00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:27,909 Where are they? 678 00:47:29,320 --> 00:47:31,550 Mickey? Stace? 679 00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:35,438 Well, I hope they've planted it, because Millen's here. 680 00:47:37,080 --> 00:47:38,991 There's a guard. 681 00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:41,878 Do you want me to distract him with a fake heart attack or something? 682 00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:44,918 All you need is balls, Chris. Just watch and learn, son. 683 00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:47,070 All right, mate? We got called in to fix a wonky latch. 684 00:47:47,160 --> 00:47:49,151 Shouldn't take a minute. 685 00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:28,670 All looks fine to me. Don't know what the problem was. 686 00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:36,635 Jesus. 687 00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:41,155 Well, what happened? Did you do it? 688 00:48:41,240 --> 00:48:44,038 - I told you we'd found a blind spot. - Well done, you two. 689 00:48:44,120 --> 00:48:46,588 - Did Millen take the hair, Albie? - Oh, yeah. 690 00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:48,677 He's been bragging about it for the last five minutes, listen. 691 00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:50,557 There's only about three journalists in the country 692 00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:51,959 that would have had the balls to do that, Chris. 693 00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:55,032 Just wait till that gets round the city. I'll never have to buy another drink again. 694 00:48:55,120 --> 00:48:58,192 Okay, then, let's go see Owen and pick up our check. 695 00:49:01,720 --> 00:49:05,235 Millen's gone down to the lab with the DNA sample. 696 00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:08,835 - I'm expecting a call from him any minute. - Great. 697 00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:12,799 So, can we talk about our 250 grand? 698 00:49:12,880 --> 00:49:16,759 Why don't we wait to hear what the lab has to say? 699 00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:19,598 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 700 00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:25,949 Owen here. 701 00:49:26,040 --> 00:49:27,792 It's an exact match, chief. 702 00:49:28,280 --> 00:49:29,474 Are you sure? 703 00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:31,713 Positive. 704 00:49:32,600 --> 00:49:35,672 Yep. Only ever see it with maternal DNA. 705 00:49:35,760 --> 00:49:37,557 Thank you very much. 706 00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:46,796 We have a deal. 707 00:49:46,880 --> 00:49:48,632 - Yes. - Excellent. 708 00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:52,153 I knew it. I knew this story was a killer. 709 00:49:52,240 --> 00:49:53,878 I guess it's that time... 710 00:49:53,960 --> 00:49:57,953 Yes, it certainly is. £250,000, as agreed. 711 00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:02,118 Have you seen Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? 712 00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:06,079 What, the game show? 713 00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:09,436 Where he writes the check and then he goes, 714 00:50:09,520 --> 00:50:11,556 "But I don't want to give you that." 715 00:50:11,640 --> 00:50:14,074 - Sure. - I love that bit. 716 00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:25,277 Hey, now. What are you doing? 717 00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:30,914 - Get out of my office. - What? 718 00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:38,597 Put yourself in my place. Quarter of a million is a lot of money. 719 00:50:38,680 --> 00:50:41,194 But this is my story. 720 00:50:41,280 --> 00:50:45,592 I'm not going to give you an interview, or the photos, or the film. 721 00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:48,274 I don't need it. I've got a DNA match. 722 00:50:48,360 --> 00:50:53,878 I can just say I uncovered the whole scandal by using my diligent research 723 00:50:53,960 --> 00:50:59,432 and my incredible nose for a story. Which is why I'm a Fleet Street editor 724 00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:03,195 and you are just a couple of punks on the make. 725 00:51:03,280 --> 00:51:04,952 I want my hair back. 726 00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:11,028 - We'll take this story somewhere else. - Too late, mate, the presses are running. 727 00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:15,516 I'm gonna sue you. I'll sue you for every penny you've got. 728 00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:19,673 Be my guest. Are you familiar with the British legal system? 729 00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:23,196 My lawyers will tie you up for the rest of your life. 730 00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:26,158 Get out of here, I've got a paper to run. 731 00:51:26,240 --> 00:51:27,229 Harry. 732 00:51:30,240 --> 00:51:32,708 - Chief, have I still got my job? - Piss off! 733 00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:45,152 (DOOR OPENING) 734 00:51:47,520 --> 00:51:51,195 - So he stiffed us? - I'm afraid so. 735 00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:55,438 Given Owen's reputation, I thought that might be the case, 736 00:51:55,520 --> 00:51:58,990 so I came up with plan B. 737 00:52:00,240 --> 00:52:02,549 I'd like to see the editor, Martin Townsend. 738 00:52:02,640 --> 00:52:05,108 - Do you have an appointment? - I called this morning. 739 00:52:05,200 --> 00:52:07,475 So, what can I do for you? 740 00:52:07,560 --> 00:52:08,754 How much would you pay me 741 00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:10,796 to take down the editor of the Weekend World? 742 00:52:17,160 --> 00:52:19,833 £100,000, as agreed. 743 00:52:24,280 --> 00:52:25,599 (DOORBELL RINGING) 744 00:52:28,560 --> 00:52:31,870 Get away. Scum! 745 00:52:41,360 --> 00:52:43,954 You and your bleeding plan Bs, Mickey. 746 00:52:44,040 --> 00:52:46,270 MICKEY: Well, I can't take all the credit. 747 00:52:46,360 --> 00:52:50,035 It appears that we weren't the only people interested in the World. 748 00:52:51,200 --> 00:52:55,079 Normally, we wouldn't bother ourselves with your petty criminal activities. 749 00:52:55,160 --> 00:52:57,276 But we are concerned about the lies you're constructing 750 00:52:57,360 --> 00:52:59,510 about the late Queen Mother. 751 00:53:00,960 --> 00:53:02,791 Be under no illusions. 752 00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:09,114 Your lives won't be worth living if you proceed. 753 00:53:12,120 --> 00:53:18,229 What if my intention was to bring down the editor of the Weekend World? 754 00:53:19,360 --> 00:53:22,397 My employers might have some sympathy with that cause. 755 00:53:22,480 --> 00:53:25,472 So, we can proceed? 756 00:53:25,560 --> 00:53:29,314 On the condition that you tell no one, whatsoever, about this meeting. 757 00:53:30,720 --> 00:53:33,188 Perhaps you may be willing to help? 758 00:53:35,840 --> 00:53:38,798 - What blind spot? I can't see it. - Trust me. 759 00:53:48,400 --> 00:53:52,359 - We're here. Stacie's in position. - Okay. We're on it. 760 00:53:56,520 --> 00:53:57,635 Now. 761 00:53:58,520 --> 00:53:59,509 What... 762 00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:01,235 Oh, shit. 763 00:54:01,320 --> 00:54:02,753 What the hell's going on? 764 00:54:02,840 --> 00:54:07,436 Could you tell me where the Prince Philip Collection is, please? 765 00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:09,639 Come on. 766 00:54:11,280 --> 00:54:13,350 Hang on. They're back on. 767 00:54:13,560 --> 00:54:14,879 Mickey, I tell you what, son. 768 00:54:14,960 --> 00:54:16,632 You completely excelled yourself on this one. 769 00:54:16,720 --> 00:54:17,709 Great. 770 00:54:17,840 --> 00:54:21,913 I really thought we had completely wasted our time, but check it out. 771 00:54:22,720 --> 00:54:25,632 100,000 smackeroonies. 772 00:54:25,720 --> 00:54:27,517 - Sorry. - Hey. 773 00:54:27,600 --> 00:54:30,751 - I knew we should have mentioned it. - What? 774 00:54:30,840 --> 00:54:35,436 Well, I thought it would be a nice gesture for us to donate this to Emily's charity. 775 00:54:35,520 --> 00:54:37,238 Hold up, hold up, hold up. 776 00:54:37,320 --> 00:54:39,356 I thought we were ruthless con artists. 777 00:54:39,440 --> 00:54:41,954 When did we turn into Robin Hood and his merry bleeding men? 778 00:54:42,040 --> 00:54:43,314 Just this once. 779 00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:46,278 Yeah, well, I think Maid Marian here's taking the piss. 780 00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:49,716 Listen, she is a really good friend who's been through a really tough time. 781 00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:51,916 Yeah, well, so have I. 782 00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:54,673 It's on the wire services. Owen's resigned. 783 00:54:54,840 --> 00:54:56,034 - Yay! - Yeah! 784 00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:57,758 - Millen? - Sacked. 785 00:54:57,840 --> 00:55:01,310 Had to clear his desk and marched out of his office by security. 786 00:55:01,960 --> 00:55:02,949 STACIE: Poor thing. 787 00:55:03,040 --> 00:55:04,837 Still, Millen's got that story you gave him 788 00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:07,229 about the fat in the sewers, hasn't he, Danny? 789 00:55:07,320 --> 00:55:12,952 Did I say fat? Slip of the tongue. I meant to say raw sewage. 790 00:55:22,560 --> 00:55:24,596 All that work for no return. 791 00:55:24,680 --> 00:55:26,910 STACIE: Come on, Danny. We're hardly out of pockets. 792 00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:28,911 What about the score from the record collector? 793 00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:31,434 Yeah. Well, what's wrong with having two scores? 794 00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:36,029 Danny, my dear boy, those feelings you have inside... 795 00:55:36,160 --> 00:55:37,149 Yeah? 796 00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:40,556 ...they're virtue and generosity and contentment. 797 00:55:40,680 --> 00:55:44,150 Really? How long before they wear off? 798 00:55:47,920 --> 00:55:50,309 This is brilliant. 799 00:55:51,680 --> 00:55:56,037 And this is just a little donation from friends. 800 00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:02,191 Thank you so much. 801 00:56:05,040 --> 00:56:09,033 You know, Mick, at first I was a bit surprised 802 00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:11,793 those Ml5 boys were so keen to bring down Owen. 803 00:56:11,880 --> 00:56:12,869 Yeah? 804 00:56:13,920 --> 00:56:18,550 But then I thought, "What if our story was true?" 805 00:56:19,760 --> 00:56:21,751 Oh, come on, Ash. 806 00:56:36,920 --> 00:56:39,229 WOMAN: Come on, now, let's go.