Hey missus!
Imagine I lump Christians,
George Bush, the Pope,
Henrik Larsson and Willie the Janny
all into one person. You'd laugh.
Why? 'Cause it's dumb.
But that's exactly what the West does with Islam,
as if one billion Muslims in 50 countries,
with hundreds of different languages
and countless ethnic groups are all one and the same.
Take my family...
my sister considers herself as a Muslim first,
and because she has a political streak,
calls herself black.
My dad's been in this country
for over 40 years
and is 100% Pakistani,
or so he thinks.
I reject the West's definition of terrorism,
which excludes the hundreds of thousands of victims
of state terror.
I reject the West's claim of moral high ground
after two of its main Jesus lovers tore up the U.N. Charter.
But above all,
I reject the West's simplification
of a Muslim.
I am a Glaswegian,
Pakistani, teenager, woman...
woman of Muslim descent,
who...
supports...
Glasgow Rangers in a Catholic school.
'Cause I'm a dazzling mixture, and I'm proud of it.
I call on this house
to defeat this hypocritical motion.
Bring it on, yes!
Look at the state of you, mate. Celtic tights! Yeah!
- Look, I can call you back. - Grow up, guys!
- Give me my bag. - Ho, what's going on here?
- Another fucking coconut. - Shut it, you! Beat it!
Go on, give us it back.
Nothing worse than an uppity Paki!
- What? - Uppity Paki Hun!
Yeah! Go, Tahara!
- Here we go! - Come here, you!
- Come on, then! - Get in the car. Calm down and get in.
Fuck's sake, man!
- They fucking started it. - Look, you just calm down.
Oh, you disgusting little shite!
Tahara, calm down! Tahara, come back!
Come here!
- I'm gonna kill you! - No running in the corridor!
I'm gonna get you!
- Tahara, come back! - Come back, come back here!
- Sheffield! - I'll kill you!
Tahara!
Stop!
Watch where you're going. For God's sake, out of the way.
Shit. Listen, go to the right! Go to the right!
I'm gonna kick you in the balls!
- Where did you see those guys go? - What, sir?
The guys who were running up here just now.
- Up the stairs, sir. - Up there. Right!
What's going on?
Excuse me.
Tahara! Excuse me!
- Thank you! - Calm down.
Can you two sit down now? Thank you, and you two outside!
- It wasn't our fault... - What do you think you're doing?
- It won't happen again, miss. - I don't care, Dan. Get out.
And you can wait for me as well. Get out, now.
Are you okay?
Is this someone you want to be with?
This is my brother. He was only picking me up.
It's not his fault.
I take it they insulted you?
Something like that.
They looked pretty scared.
I'm sorry, miss.
It's okay.
Come on, let's go.
- Careful you don't drop it. - Sorry.
Come on, let's go.
Right, Jacqueline.
On with the lesson. You've got a competition to win.
- Okay? - All right.
That gives you the perspective.
- Is that this side, this one? - Aye, that's the garden there.
- Right. - I suggest we start pegging it out
from that corner. You'll get an idea of what its going to look like.
- Okay, so are we gonna do it? - Aye, let's do that.
Hold on to it. Okay, so I go?
- Aye, aye. - Right. One, two, three, four, five.
- Right. Now what? - That's the steps you're going to take.
- Following that line... - Aye.
- Six steps that way. - Okay.
- One, two, three, four five, six. - Dad!
- Watch Mom's plants! - That's the first position.
- Hey, Casim. Come here. - What are you doing?
- Stand in there? - Come on.
- In the plants? - Yeah. Stand here.
- You sure? - Yeah. Yeah.
- They won't... the plants won't... - Stand there!
- We're gonna get shot, Dad. - Just you come in.
Come on, we're gonna... you stand there.
- Now, Big Danny... - Wait, where are you?
- I'm here. What do I do now? - I know, but where are you?
- What is there? - This is the kitchen corner.
- The wall. - I thought it was going to be
- a games room, Mr. Khan. - Games room?
Listen, we're going to have a bedroom and a living room
for his wife-to-be. You not hear me?
We're going to come down through there, on to the kitchen.
Again, keel and board, line of the house, three steps that way.
- Right. - Easy on the flowers, there.
Wait a minute. Okay, right. Don't worry about flowers!
- Let me get on with it! - Dad, get your big feet off.
Hey, wee one. Tahara, come here.
You just come here. Listen to me. Listen to me.
- She's gonna go off her head, man. - See bloody kids?
They don't listen! They just stand there.
- What is it? - What are you doing?
You are either going to have an extension, missus,
or you can have a garden. You cannot have both of them.
Once the extension is built,
we'll make more flowers, we'll make more gardens.
Don't worry about it. Just you go in there.
- Right, Danny, what do I do? - Okay, we're starting...
- Get your feet off! - We're starting to get an idea of it.
From that position, we're going to follow this line again.
- This line there? - One step in here.
One. Right. Wee Roddie...
Roddie, come here. Never mind tea. Stand there.
- This'll cost you extra, Mr. Khan. - Right. Okay.
So you've just met the bedroom there with the kitchen.
- You're coming down this line. - Aye.
Keep it in mind. Get a sense of it.
- This way, three steps. - Just you stand there.
- Same size steps you've been taking. - One, two, three... ah!
Next week? No, that's tomorrow.
- I don't think you'll remember me. - Oh, yeah. Tahara's brother.
- Elsie, see you later, okay. - I think I owe you a new guitar.
That's very thoughtful of you.
What do you want me to do with it?
Well, the music room's locked up now.
Shall I leave it in your car for you?
You could if I had one. Oh, no. I'll take it. Here.
- No, no. Where is it you stay? - On the other side of the city.
- I'll give you a lift. - No, don't be silly. I'll manage.
No, seriously. Your hands look full. Give me your bags.
- Are you sure? - Yeah, of course.
Could you do me favor? Would you mind ducking down for a sec?
- What? - Please. Duck down for a second.
- Are you serious? - Quickly. Please.
- See that take-away there? - I can't from here, no.
That's my mom's cousin's aunt's son's or something like that.
See, if they see me in the car with a strange woman,
there's gonna be trouble.
Can I come up now?
Yeah.
- Thanks. - That's okay.
- Can I ask you something? - Of course you can.
I don't suppose you'd know of anyone who could shift a grand piano, do you?
- A what? - A grand piano.
A grand piano?
You're in luck, Miss Hanlon.
- You've just met an entrepreneur. - It's Roisin.
- Is this your club? - No, not yet.
We thought we'd get the cards made up first
- and just see how things go after that. - Oh, right. Okay.
- A piano? - Yeah.
Come on.
- Jesus. - All right?
It's just up the one floor, okay?
One floor, darlin'?
- You Irish? - Yes.
Could you not have just stuck with a tin whistle or something?
Right 'round this bend and just pass up these stairs, boys.
Okay.
For fuck's sake, you're putting me through the wall.
I'm sorry, Danny.
Oh fuck's sake, wee man.
I'm gonna part your stains after this, Casim.
He told us we were shifting a dresser
- for an old pensioner. - She's older than she looks. Shut it.
- Thanks very much. - Come on!
Just take the fucking weight, you fat bastard!
I can't, Danny! My arms are fucking three feet long.
- Hold on. I can't feel my fingers. - I'm turning into an octopus.
It's on my fingers, Danny!
Fucking hell, wee man.
You useless fucking bastard, Rod.
Calm down, Danny.
Right.
All right, wee man.
What the...
Jesus Christ!
Jesus Christ, my piano!
What are you doing? You stupid bastard.
You all right?
- Danny. - You okay, wee man?
Flattened my balls.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
All right? You stupid bastard.
I think you're going to need to re-tune this.
No, I meant the piano.
Wee man's just had his meat and two veg mangled. Fuck the piano.
- Okay, wee man. - Give us a sec, will you?
I thought I heard a perfect high C when that hit you, wee man.
Very fucking funny.
Well, it's sounded better.
It survived. Just.
Very good.
I've really missed this.
Whose was the fancy pad that you picked it up from?
- An ex. - You two fall out?
No. Just changed.
At least, I did.
He looked upset.
Did he?
- Do you want a cup of tea? - No, no thanks.
I'd better be off. I'm helping my dad at the shop.
- Okay. - See you later.
Excuse me. Are you the lady with the grand piano?
Might be.
I don't supposed you'd fancy coming to a gig tonight?
I'm meeting a friend.
Very low key. Blues and swing.
I have to work tomorrow.
- What time do you start? - 9:00.
You'll be back in by 7:00, I promise.
- Well done. - What's happening?
How are you doing, mate? How are you doing?
Has he been keeping you entertained?
Yeah, to say the least.
He's been telling about this new club of yours.
Aye, we've got a new place 10 minutes away from here,
maybe 15 minutes.
It's an old bar that we've converted into a "fuck-off" nightclub.
It's unbelievable, by the way.
It's going to be the latest and trendiest club.
This man's going to be DJing and I'm going to be promoting.
- So... - When do we get to go?
Well, depends how tonight goes.
What are you doing later on?
- No, let's go. - I don't believe this.
- What? - Here's your sister.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
- Huh? Your sister? - Oh, no.
Yeah, she's all right.
- What are you doing here? - Hi, Miss Hanlon.
- How are you doing? - Okay, Tahara? Girls?
"Miss Hanlon"? How do you know them?
- Her pupils. - I bet you didn't have to climb
out the window, miss. I nearly broke my neck.
Tahara, come here.
- Are you gonna go? - She's in trouble, isn't she?
Gets back to her mom and dad, they'll kill her.
Come here.
What the fuck are you doing here?
- Well, what do you think? - What are you doing?
I'm out with my mates, like you are.
- Leave. - No.
Please. You're not hanging about here dressed like that
- in front of me. Just leave. - What's Miss Hanlon doing here?
She was here having a drink. That's what she's doing here.
- Oh, really? - Oh really.
Listen, Tahara. I'm working here.
Right? I'm working here. I'm here with Hammid, okay?
- Yeah, whatever. - Right.
- Mm-hmm. - Yes, whatever. Move.
- Are you worried? - No, why should I worry?
- You sure? - Not at all.
Let me just fix that for you there.
Oh! Just a wee bit strangled my neck there.
All right. Okay, thanks.
- Uh-huh. - Yeah.
Whoo-hoo, postman.
- Are they here yet? - No. What's this one like, Rukhsana?
I bet he's a wee plooky ferret from Bradford.
Oy. I heard that he's over six feet tall,
he's a fair complex... has a fair complexion,
- and he's got a full head of hair. - Eww!
What do you mean? That sounds nice.
- Yeah. - You make him sound like a Viking
I did. I did.
It's supposed to be just tea, Mom.
- There's a car coming. - Ooh.
- Oh, what a car. - Is that them?
It's pretty gorgeous isn't it?
- Oh, wow. - Is that them?
Oh my God.
Yes, it's them. It's them.
Now, you two, on your best behavior.
- Oh, he's stunning. - He's all right, by the way.
On you go.
Peace be on you.
Are you all right?
Find the house okay?
Sorry about the mess...
Son, go with Auntie.
We're building an extension here.
When it's done, it'll look fine.
Where has he studied, and how much?
Auntie, I did my Bachelor of Science degree
from Imperial College, London.
He did a Ph.D. At Boston University.
Now Molecular Biology at Manchester.
You are lucky. God gave you a good boy.
But his mother put in a lot of effort.
The first teachings are from the mother.
A child's success depends on the mother.
She put in hard work to get him there.
You're crowning a mother's head.
There's no glory. It's not about that.
What else, son?
Auntie, it's going really well...
Thanks.
I've got a great team, highly motivated,
I foresee myself spending a long time in Manchester.
Very good. You're very lucky. You've got lovely parents.
Thank you.
Thank you, ji.
So, what do you think of Glasgow?
- Well... - Excuse me.
Tahara, do you mind? You want to sit there for a minute?
You go in there, uh-huh.
Just... sorry, you go in there.
That's right, have a seat there.
That's a good girl.
Of all my three children,
Rukhsana's the best...
smart, sophisticated and domesticated.
And she's done a degree.
- What degree? - I'll show you.
- Psychology. - Psychology, very nice.
Rukhsana has a masters from Glasgow University.
Casim's done a degree in accounting.
- So, you are an accountant? - Accountant.
I'm doing a feasibility study. It's just to do with import and export.
That's important to know.
Tahara's at school.
She's going to be a doctor.
- A journalist. - A doctor!
Children are like that,
they're always changing their minds.
Rukhsana teaches the community aerobics.
Always exercising. Look at her figure!
Mommy.
- Aerobics? - Yeah, yeah.
All right. Do you enjoy that?
It's okay. It's good to do some volunteer work
- in the communities. - Okay.
Whose photo is this?
It's my niece.
Casim's fiancée. Soon my daughter-in-law.
Very pretty, soft eyes.
She's beautiful. I'm lucky
to have her as a daughter-in-law.
- She is beautiful. - Thank you very much, uncle.
- Casim, you are a lucky young man. - Very lucky.
- Is this it? - This is it.
- Okay. - As they say, this is it.
- This is my place, my club. - Yeah, but I thought you said...
"a touch of paint" is what you said.
Look at the potential that's in this place.
Bars all across the side there.
Both sides.
A dance floor so big it covers the whole back.
Hundreds of bodies just dancing to the beat.
Me, up on the podium...
raised so I can see, look over everyone.
VIP rooms, different music rooms everywhere.
You with your grand piano away in a room over there.
There'll be lights flashing from everywhere,
all these angles.
Can you not see it?
That's gonna cost you millions.
- £56,000. - 56,000?
There won't be any dress codes.
- No dress codes? - 'Cause there's no expectation,
there's never expectation. Anyone's allowed.
- So, transvestites to anoraks. - Burkas to G-strings.
Where even shy girls can make the first move?
And nervous little boys won't run away.
It doesn't feel quite the same without the grand piano.
- You're strong, aren't you? - For a wee Irish girl, I am.
Two-one, to me.
Okay, truce then.
- Okay? Yeah. - Truce?
- Promise? - Swear to God.
Over my dead body, you mug.
- Now it's a truce. - Okay.
I forgot to say...
I like your name.
I forgot to say...
I like your hands.
Ahh, Roisin, Elsie.
Can I ask whose idea it was to sing the Burns song?
Oh, it was the modern studies class.
They thought it would fit in well with their Third World debt project.
- That's right. - I don't think a song
written by a well-known drunken fornicator
is really appropriate for the holy sacrifice of the Mass.
- Is that right? - Roisin. Roisin.
I've just had a telephone call from David.
He tells me that he's going to take early retirement.
So, it is my intention to offer you a full-time post.
And I won't take no for an answer.
- Really? - Well, you enjoy the midterm break,
and I hope you'll come back as a permanent member of staff.
- What about an interview? - I don't think we need
to worry about that. We've seen your work
for the past nine months, and I just don't want to lose you.
- Thanks a lot, that's great. - That's okay.
- I'll catch you later. - All right.
- I've just been made permanent. - You're kidding.
- That's fantastic. - I can't believe this.
Girls, hurry along to your next class, okay?
Doing fine. Yeah and you?
Good. Coffee?
To Spain?
- Leaving tomorrow? - Come on, big man,
have you your own directory inquiries service? Come on!
- Jesus Christ. - You just booked them?
- It's a bit short notice, isn't it? - Casim, that mortar's
gonna get fucking hard if you don't put it back on.
I don't know, is it under there somewhere?
Where the fuck are you going?
- Mom? - Yes?
Got to go to London for a few days.
- Why? - We may have a backer for the club.
- Is that a good thing? - Yes.
- Who are you going with? - Hammid.
How long are you going for?
- Three days, Mom. - You going now? That's fine then.
I'm just gonna get some stuff ready in the house.
Okay, that's fine.
It's freezing.
You know what the best thing is?
No, please don't. Let me go in my own time.
- This is the best thing. - No, no.
- Gracias. - Thank you.
So what about angels?
We have angels.
- Virgin birth. - Yup.
We've even got a special chapter on Mary.
- Really? - Mm-hmm.
And...
transubstantiation?
- What's that? - It's where the priest
turns the bread and wine literally into the body and blood of Jesus Christ.
- What are you laughing at? - No.
So I suppose then you believe
that the Archangel Gabriel, in a cave
whispered the word of God, word by word
- into Mohammed's ear. - Exactly.
There's still so much I'm proud of.
Do you know what zakah means?
It's when you give a percentage of your income to the poor.
My dad, still to this day, gives exactly to the penny
to asylum seekers.
Kill a man, kill all of humanity.
We can be higher than angels and lower than dogs.
Love thy neighbor as thyself.
None of us truly believe until we wish for our brothers and sisters
what we wish for ourselves.
To the prophet.
To Jesus, a lesser prophet, but what the hell.
Well, at least we both believe that life is one long, miserable test
and the day of judgment is fast approaching.
- So, to paradise. - Cheers.
- Or hell's furnace. - Paradise.
To be honest with you, I think I was lonely more than anything else.
Just 'cause I have no family.
That's kind of why I got married.
- Got married? - Yeah.
- How old were you? - 19.
- 19? - Mm-hmm.
Big white, fluffy meringue dress and pointy shoes... the works.
- Jesus. - 19?
Mm-hmm. In front of all our friends,
and God and state and church,
I swore with all my heart that no matter what,
I would live with him for the rest of my life.
- What's he like? - He's lovely, he's a really kind man.
Just more of a friend.
And what's wrong with companionship?
There's nothing wrong with it, I just need more.
Like what?
The match, you know?
- A real equal match. - Yeah.
A wee twinkle in the eye.
If that's not there, I'd just... I'd rather be on my own.
That's okay, isn't it?
So, do you ever get scared now?
Sometimes, yeah.
Late at night, you know, if I'm in my bed,
half asleep or just being a wee bit down.
But I have this little fellow to keep me company.
A little butterfly?
- You're a khotee. - A "khotee"?
- Is that a compliment? - A lovely little khotee.
Ah.
- Do you know what you are? - What?
A durdou.
"Durdou"?
What's that?
Frog.
What? A frog?
Thanks very much.
Hello.
You're up early.
Couldn't sleep.
There's something I've got to tell you.
I'm due to marry my first cousin, Jasmine,
in nine weeks.
Very funny.
- Honestly. - I don't believe you.
Eleven words...
couldn't get them out.
So, what the fuck is this?
Hmm?
Is it some last-minute fling before you settle down to married life?
- No, no. - No?
What the fuck am I?
Some cheap fucking tart at a stag party?
Jesus Christ.
I don't believe this.
Eleven little words, was it?
Well, here's another two for you: Fuck off!
I mean, why couldn't you tell me before we got on the plane?
- I couldn't. - Why?
Why didn't you tell me last night?
I'm sorry.
You'd better not be here when I get back.
I can't stand lies, do you hear me?
I can't fucking stand them.
You really had me fooled.
I mean, I've been with some pricks in my time,
I knew it at the time, and I suffered the consequences.
But I really trusted you.
You're right, Roisin.
I shouldn't have let this happen.
I should've foreseen the hurt.
Should, should, should. The story of my fucking life.
But I didn't...
which made me realize something.
I'm gonna go back home and cancel the wedding.
It's too much for you to understand, and I don't expect you to.
It'll probably blow my family apart.
But what the fuck.
I don't want you to ever think that you were just a cheap fling.
It wasn't like that. I promise it was never like that.
I'm gonna book an early flight.
Thank you.
I've been away for three days. My mom has left five messages.
You're lucky. I want you to meet my friends, by the way.
I was thinking of having a dinner party on Saturday night.
There's Miss Hanlon. Hi, Miss.
Hi.
Ah, there's half the school.
Look who it is over there. It's the incredible disappearing man.
- Still here? - Have you been away, big man?
I never even noticed. You were that useless when you were here.
Your ma's been looking for you.
She's not brought you your doughnuts yet?
- She don't give us doughnuts. - What's that? We've not had a doughnut
for a week, big man. I can feel my ribs.
Mom?
My son's here. Is everything okay?
Fine.
Casim, are you doing okay?
Tell him the good news.
- What happened? - Tried to phone you
so many times, but your mobile was off or something. I don't know.
- Guess what? - What?
- You tell him. - Tell him the news.
- Mom. - I think you should tell him.
You tell him.
- No, you tell him. - Tell him.
What is it?
- We're getting married. - Honestly?
- Yep. - Praise be to God.
- Thank you. - Excellent.
Mom, you must be so happy.
Yes, I tried to call you many times.
- Peace be with you. - Peace be with you.
Thanks.
How are you? Everything okay?
Listen. Let's get one thing quite clear, right?
You're gonna get married.
You're gonna have kids.
You're gonna do the mom and dad thing...
which is the right thing.
Shag who the fuck you want to shag,
but don't fuck up your whole family
and her family back home.
- It's not just about shagging, Hammid. - What's it about then?
What's it about?
There's so many birds out there,
and you've been daft over one bird.
- I've not been daft over her. - Well, you're gonna drop...
you're gonna split your whole family.
So, I'm just supposed to marry somebody I don't know?
Aye. Just do it. Who cares?
You've got a family to think about.
You've got your religion to think about. You've got that to think about.
Walk into there... how are you going to walk into there?
I'll lose her.
Give a fuck if you lose her.
Would you rather lose your family, or would you rather lose this bird?
- This bird is a nobody. - She's not a nobody.
She is a nobody compared to your family. Right?
Your family back home. You've got a mosque right there.
Listen, you're being stupid if you think for one minute
everyone's going to understand. No one's going to understand.
As far as anyone's concerned, she's a goree.
She's a white girl. That's it.
She's not a Muslim.
Sarah can't make it, by the way. It's just going to be the five of us.
- I'm not coming. - Eh?
I'm not coming up.
What do you mean?
Why not?
Did you talk to your folks?
I tried to tell them last night.
Just couldn't find the words.
I feel so strong when I'm around you.
It'll break their hearts.
It would destroy them.
What about your heart?
What about my heart?
Jasmine?
Do you love her?
You don't understand. It's not about love.
It's much more than that.
So, what, are you just gonna...
sit back and let your parents make all your choices for you?
Or are you actually going to do something about it
and say something to them?
I'm their only son.
I can't let them down.
I can't.
Casim.
We're good together, you know?
I mean...
it's easy.
It feels right, you know?
And I think that we can...
if we want to, we can make it work.
- For how long? - I don't know, but who knows that?
Does anybody ever really know that?
You just...
you just take a chance.
I can't match you, Roisin.
I can't match you.
I've got some good news, guys.
- Dad. - Sorry.
- Dad. - What is it?
I got some really good news today.
I've been offered an unconditional place
at Edinburgh University.
Here, Dad.
There's 20 students chasing every place.
Wait a minute. What's going on here?
Why Edinburgh?
Um...
because the course I want to do is in Edinburgh.
Listen, dear, there are four or five universities in this bloody city.
What the community is gonna say?
It's a good university. It's the only course I want to do.
Your brother... your sister went to Glasgow University,
and your bother went to a university in Glasgow.
Are they not good enough for you?
No Dad, it's not that. It's just...
I see you were there for an interview.
- Yeah. - You never asked us.
You never mentioned that you got permission in the house
to go for an interview.
Look. I've got an unconditional place.
That's amazing for someone my age.
If you could go for an interview without intimating...
without getting permission, what could you do when you're there?
Dad, one second. Tahara, couldn't you just commute?
What's the point, then? I might as well stay in Glasgow.
The whole part of this is so I can...
What's more important to you?
Education or staying away from home?
There's unis in Glasgow as well.
Can't you just commute, Tahara?
How can you say that? No, I cant!
It's not fair. I'm going to be missing out on a whole different life.
I don't want to do that! And why did you even get married
and come here and have kids?
- What? - Why? What's the point of kids here?
We're Western. I'm sorry, but we're not from Pakistan.
Listen, don't change the subject.
You are going to study in Glasgow!
- I'm not changing the subject! - You can't go there!
- It's the same bloody subject! - And don't talk to me like that!
Right! Take it away! Enough is enough.
Is this why we got you educated?
That this day had to come?
You cannot go, and that's final!
I'm sorry.
It just hurt. It means so much.
Do you know how much work I put...
do you know how much work I put into...
no, Mom, please!
I've worked my ass off.
- You're just overdramatic. - Oh, just fuck off!
Don't you ever talk to me like that again.
You are such a hypocrite.
Casim, look at me.
Look at me. What's wrong?
You're such a fucking hypocrite!
Look at me!
I'll never forgive you for this.
- You're only upset, honey. - Mom...
You know what your father is like.
Tell me what's wrong with you.
You haven't spoken to me for months.
Won't you tell your mom?
- She speaks the truth. - What truth? You tell me.
- I can't do it. - What?
I know you're preparing things for me.
What can't you do?
I can't get married.
How can I tell your aunt now?
I can't go ahead with it, Mom.
This is not good.
What will Jasmine do?
- This will shame us. - I'll sell the car.
I'll give you all the money back for the extension.
- I can't go ahead with it. - What has happened?
If you don't tell me, how will I know?
I'm going to go stay with Hammid.
What will I do?
My son, what will I do?
Yeah. What, birthday parties?
Are you having a fucking laugh, mate? I don't do birthday parties.
I've not been doing birthday parties for the last 10 years.
It's us, Annie.
Listen, if you want to, phone me back again,
but I'm on the other line and I really need to take this other call.
Listen, my other phone's ringing. So, do you want to call back?
I'll speak to you soon, right? Okay, mate. Yeah, hello.
Yeah, glam stuff. That's us, yeah.
Aye, I can set you up with anything you want, Bud.
I can give you fucking Mull of Kintyre, Abba,
anything you want. I'll give you it.
Uh-huh.
- Did you cover up? - Aye, I can get you a DJ, no problem.
The guy you're probably looking for is Casim.
750 quid.
That's the fucking deposit, mate. That's the deposit.
You're actually dressed all right, tonight.
Don't take him on. Don't take him on.
My wee sweetheart.
He can't talk to the girls.
He's just a lad.
Roisin.
How have you been?
Great.
I didn't want to disturb you. You looked busy.
I'm kept busy.
I don't suppose you'd fancy meeting up some time?
No.
No, I don't really see the point.
I really miss you.
Roisin...
I think about you all the time.
I have to go now.
Thanks.
Do you have any ghee?
Yes, on that shelf.
That big or small one?
£1.50... that is £1.50.
- Should I put it there? - Yes, put it down there.
Thank you.
Hi, dear. Is that all you want?
- Yeah. - 47 p, please.
- Here you are. Thank you. - Thank you.
- You'll manage or you want a bag? - That's fine thank you.
Okay. That's great. Thanks very much.
Miss Hanlon?
You don't have a cat, miss, do you?
No.
Were you here to see Casim, then?
No, Tahara, I wasn't.
That's much better. It is much better.
You did it a little bit again.
Roisin? Sorry, could I have a word, please?
Yeah, of course you can. Just give it a wee practice.
I'll be back in a second.
Hi.
I just noticed that your Certificate of Approval
- is out of date. - All right.
We need one to finalize the details,
so if you could get one, take it to your parish priest,
ask him to sign it and that's it,
- full-time post. - Okay. Great. Thanks.
Walk.
Hello?
Tahara told me you called off the wedding...
and that you've moved out of home.
- Hi. - Hi.
- What was that for? - 'Cause you're a bastard.
And you deserve it.
- You're the bastard. - I am not.
You're a prick.
Prickette.
Dick.
Dickette.
I really missed you.
I missed you.
Let's fuck.
Roisin, you're going to have to duck down.
- Quickly. Seriously. - Are you serious?
- Seriously. - Casim...
It's another one of my cousin's take-aways.
- That's you. - That's the last time I'm doing that.
- No, you have have to do it again if... - How many cousins do you have?
- Here you go, Miss Hanlon. - Ooh, lovely.
- Glab jamin and ice cream. - Glab jammin.
- No. Glab jamin and ice cream. - Jamin.
Thanks very much. What is it?
Glab jamin and ice cream.
Thank you.
It's my mom.
Hello?
Peace be on you.
Mom... don't cry, Mom.
I'll come tomorrow.
Promise, Mom, that...
Mom, don't cry.
Mom, don't say that.
God bless.
What's wrong?
She found my dad lying in my bed.
He had a nightmare.
Let me show you something.
- My dad's a twin. - Is he?
Och, look. They're lovely.
Hmm.
Where were these taken?
India.
Their eighth birthday.
Two months before Partition, 1947.
They were Muslims living in India.
Had to get over to Pakistan.
Sikhs and Hindus fled the other way.
15 million people on the march...
plus two.
He said it was like a journey from hell.
The whole fucking place exploded in hysteria.
Muslims butchered Hindus.
Hindus slaughtered Muslims.
Hundreds and hundreds of thousands of people died.
Halfway through...
they were caught in an ambush outside a village.
My dad's brother was kidnapped.
He was never, ever seen again.
It's marked my dad for life.
What was his name?
Casim.
I'd love to meet them.
You know, get to know them slowly.
Did you ever imagine being a Muslim?
No.
Under any circumstances?
No.
Well, they can't imagine me being with someone who's not a Muslim.
I have a friend who's been living with his girlfriend
for seven years.
His parents think there's a whole bunch of them who share a flat together.
I couldn't live a lie like that, Casim. No way.
It's easier for you.
Nothing to lose.
"Can't live a lie."
It's a self-indulgence.
What are you talking about?
Do you want me to break with my family?
I mean break forever.
Could you do that with your mom?
And what do you ask of them?
They can't make the jump, Roisin.
- They can't. - So, what, people can't change?
They're beyond that.
I mean, if they see me living here,
my whole life would be destroyed with them.
So what are we gonna do?
Just tell little lies for the rest of our...
time together?
I almost said "lives."
- Hello. - Hello.
- I'm here to see Father Chambers. - Are you expected?
- Yeah, I've got an appointment. - Would you like to wait inside, please?
Can I have your name, please?
It's Roisin Hanlon.
- Morning, Father. - Go straight through.
I haven't seen you at Mass for some time, Roisin.
I take it you've been attending another parish.
The school have offered me a permanent position,
and since I'd be moving from a temporary contract into a full-time post,
I just need my Certificate of Approval updated,
so I'd be grateful if you could sign it for me.
And that's it, yes? Simple as that.
"Thank you, Father. Goodbye, Father."
I was given this by the Archdiocese.
The appropriate section being the update
of the Educate Scotland Act, 1918.
In particular...
the amendments of 1989, schedule 10, paragraph 8.
"Each teacher shall be approved as to his religious belief and character
by the representative of the Church
in whose interest the school is being conducted."
What do you think is the rationale behind Catholic schools?
"It is a community of faith,
where pupils and teachers work together,
recognizing that they share the same Christian values."
What do you make of that? That is the law of the land.
I wasn't aware of the details, Father.
Well, it's even more specific than you think.
As parish priest,
I have to satisfy myself that the teacher in question
"is giving public witness
to their faith in their daily life."
Now, that is quite clear, Roisin.
Okay, I'm not going to beat around the bush.
Are you living with a man?
Sorry?
Are you having sex outside of marriage?
- That's none of your business. - It is my business.
You've not been listening.
I have a responsibility to the parents
of those Catholic children that you teach.
I am a priest. I'm not some nine-to-five bureaucrat
who's here to just to rubberstamp things.
I mean, what are you thinking? You think you can get into bed
with any Tom, Dick or Mohammed and then teach wee Catholic kids?
- What did you say? - You heard fine well what I said!
- Who have you been talking to? - None of your business!
None of my business?!
I'm sorry, but this is my life you're talking about.
It's my job... my career!
And who do you think you are to speak to me like this,
like I'm your housekeeper or some altar boy!?
I am your parish priest!
I'll speak to you in whatever manner I see fit!
Now sit down! I warn you.
If you want to keep this job of yours,
I suggest you take a seat. Now sit!
Now...
let's both take a deep breath
and see if we can sort this out amicably.
Now, I do not doubt for a second
that you are a wonderful teacher.
In fact, I've got letters from the school
saying how fantastic you are, but I have to listen to my conscience.
In the eyes of the Catholic Church,
you are still a married woman.
Now, you're a young woman. You can apply for annulment.
This boy you're living with, is he a Catholic?
- No. - Would he consider becoming a Catholic?
- We haven't spoken about it. - Well, I suggest you do.
And anyway, even if he doesn't want to become a Catholic,
we're not living in the Dark Ages. When you get an annulment,
you can get a special dispensation from the Church
and then you can get married on the condition
that you both vow that you will bring up
your children as Catholics.
Now, in the meantime,
you cannot live in sin
and come in here
and ask me to rubberstamp it,
or give you some seal of approval.
You might not like that, but that's simply the way it is.
The faith of our fathers is not for the faint-hearted.
Though I'll give you some advice.
You go home, you kick him out and you get married.
And if you're not prepared to do that,
I suggest you go and teach the Protestants.
He was rude, he was patronizing...
and he was horrible. The whole thing was horrible.
I mean, it's an ordinary school supported 100%% % by public taxes...
our taxes, at that. What my private life has to do with anything, I have no idea.
"Living in sin." The fucking cheek of him.
What would your mom have made of all this?
Oh, God, I don't know. I mean, she would have supported me,
she probably would have said, "I just want you to be happy."
And then probably a day or two later,
she would have said, "What about the children?"
They won't say it, but that's what they're thinking.
What color are they gonna be?
What's their hair going to be like? Are they going to be circumcised?
What school are you going to send them to?
What religious stamp are you going to stick to them?
They're fucking bigots! It drives me fucking insane!
If it's not the Holy Willy priest and his cronies on one side,
it's your dad and fucking mullahs on the other,
- and we're stuck in the middle. - Don't say that, Roisin.
Eh?
- Don't call my dad a bigot. - What is he, then?
He could be a lot of things, but he's not a bigot.
You said so yourself, Casim. You said he'd look straight through me.
I don't care what I said. He's not a bigot.
- I care what you said. - You don't know him, Roisin.
Because you're too scared to introduce me to him.
You're white, you don't understand.
Sign it.
- Is that my resignation? - Your contract.
I haven't got the Certificate of Approval.
I don't care.
This is your head on the line, Michael.
I said...
sign it.
You do know I'm still living with him and...
That's none of my business, Roisin,
and as far as I'm concerned, it's none of that old fanatic's business either.
You've done a first-class job here.
Look, do I have to forge that signature for you?
No.
Excuse me.
- Are you Miss Hanlon? - Yeah.
My name's Rukhsana Khan. I'm Casim's older sister.
Hi.
Is it possible to have a chat with you?
Yeah, sure. Do you want to come up?
Could we go elsewhere?
- Tea? - Thanks.
- This is great, thanks.
Roisin, you must be wondering why I've asked to...
well, I've come to see you, I suppose.
You must think this is very odd, but...
basically I feel that I had to talk to you
because of what's going on just now with my family.
Casim's left home and he's living with you...
and as far as my family's concerned
and my community's concerned,
he's brought a great deal of shame on all of us.
See, we have this concept called izzat,
which, I guess, is family honor.
And that's really important to people.
My parents all their life have worked very, very hard
to maintain that, to keep that,
and they've built up respect and trust in the community.
And what Casim has done
has basically taken that away.
Not only that...
I don't know if Casim told you, but...
I met Amar through my family...
and we got on really well. Our families got on really well.
We're very fond of each other.
And in the short time that we've known each other,
we feel very strongly and we both want to get married.
But because of what Casim's done...
his mother found out and canceled the wedding.
I love your brother.
Why can't you accept that?
For how long?
I... I don't know.
When will you know? When everybody's lives are fucked up?
Can't you understand what's going on?
Can't you understand that because of your love,
that so many people's lives are being destroyed?
You clearly don't understand, do you?
Roisin, I'm just gonna ask you straight:
Will you leave my brother?
Please, will you leave my brother?
No.
Roisin, can I have a word with you?
I need to have a quick word with you. Come over here,
away from the classroom.
Roisin, I am so sorry.
I just had a call from the Director of Education,
and I'm afraid you're out, and I'm in a bit of trouble.
They're going to move you on to a non-denominational school
on Monday, so I'm afraid this is your last day.
This is ridiculous.
I agree.
So I start at another school on Monday?
Yes, I'm afraid so.
What about the students? Can I not work till the end of the term, or...
I know, I know, and I regret that bit of it,
but I'm afraid all you can do is go back in there
and say that you're having to leave,
and that this will be the last day.
It's shocking, I know.
And they will be as disappointed as I am.
- Hello? - Casim, move your ass.
Get down the stairs, or we're gonna fuck up
- this whole deal. - Okay.
Give me a minute, I'm coming.
- Give me a minute. - Move it!
I need to go. I'm meeting those backers from London.
Can you postpone?
We're picking them up at the airport just now.
Why don't you give him the plans and he can go on his own?
He needs me to come along with him.
Well, I kind of need you here.
- I lost my job today. - I'll be back in a couple of hours.
It won't take long.
If it's not Hammid, it's the priest.
If it's not the priest, it's your bloody sister.
- My sister's okay. - She's okay?
She asked me to leave you.
Roisin, I need to go. It's important to me.
And this is important to me.
I've tried to understand your sister, Casim, I really have,
I've tried to understand your whole family, in fact.
If your dad's such a great guy, I don't see why he can't start
- treating me like a human being. - If you'd been in his shoes,
- you might not be so quick to judge. - Right, here we go again.
Here we go again? Here we go again?
Have you ever had a dog set on you, Roisin?
Have a group of kids chasing after you, making monkey noises?
I don't think so.
Do you have any idea how many times he had to keep his mouth shut?
The humiliation, the insults he's been through?
No, none whatsoever.
Have you ever been spat on, in fact?
Just ask Rukhsana what it feels like to have a grog run down her face.
Okay, so there's racist bastards out there...
I saw my father stabbed, Roisin.
He nearly bled to death in my arms.
So excuse fucking me.
I'm fucking coming. Wait. Wait.
That's not fair, Casim. It's not my fault.
It's not my family's fault if they're treated like Paki foreigners...
not quite up to the mark.
I need to go, Roisin.
- It's really important I meet them. - Stay.
- I'll be back as soon as I can. - Casim, I'm asking you to stay, please.
It's our backers from London.
Yeah, I know that, but I'm a...
If they like us, it's our big chance.
Right, well maybe your sister's right then.
- Maybe we shouldn't be with each other. - Maybe we shouldn't.
- Well, fuck you, then. - Fuck off, then.
Whatever. Dick.
Roisin?
Roisin, can you take the chain off, please?
Is everything okay?
- She's not answering her mobile. - Still not got a hold of her?
Here, babes. Don't worry, maybe she's gone out or something.
- Okay? Don't worry. - Okay.
Hi, Roisin, if you're in, pick up the phone.
I'm so sorry.
I feel like shit. I promise I'll make it up to you.
If you're making me squirm, it's working, I deserve it.
I've got some good news. They're putting up the money for the club.
We're all going out to celebrate. I can't do that without you.
I'll have no one to spin on the dance floor.
Please call me when you get back in.
Or if you're in, please pick up, honey.
See you soon, my durdou.
Casim.
- That was your mom on the phone. - What'd she say?
That you're always engaged. She's trying to get hold of you.
Call her back.
Anything else?
- Well, she's not gonna tell me. - Give her a wee phone.
Hello, Tahara?
Wh... wh... Tahara?
Are you still there?
What was that?
She got cut off.
It may have been a bad reception, don't worry about it.
No, I was calling the house phone.
I think it might have something to do with your mom, no?
Hi, Miss Hanlon. This is Rukhsana, Casim's sister.
I was hoping that I could meet up with you...
Hello?
Hi.
What is it?
Show me what?
Hello, Dad.
- How nice to see you, Casim. - Is everything all right?
Oh, fine, everything is fine. But we miss you.
Gosh, how nice to see you.
- Isn't that Amar's car? - Aw, leave it. Leave it.
What do you think of it?
- Is Tahara okay? - Yeah, she's in her room, studying.
Come on. She's fine.
What do you think of it?
- We got it finished. - All done?
Oh, aye. I wanna show you the inside of it.
There you are, all finito.
This is your fitted kitchen.
See? Real McKay stuff.
And Casim, see that?
Real pine wood.
And your sister, Rukhsana thought you would need the internet stuff.
- What do you call it? - Laptop.
Aye. There you are, it's all yours.
- Why are we stopped here? - This is our house.
Um...
What am I doing here, Rukhsana?
Just wait and see.
That's Amar, there.
That's the extension my father's been working on.
He's completely obsessed with it.
Well, are we gonna go in, or just...
Just, just... that's my mom.
She's missed Casim so much.
Is that Casim?
Are we gonna go meet them?
Just wait one second.
Are you okay?
I've kept it a secret.
Greet your aunt.
How are you?
Aren't you going to answer?
Won't you reply?
Come here, Casim.
You're looking well.
Who are they?
That's... Jasmine.
- Casim's fiancée. - Och, for fuck's sake, Rukhsana!
What the fuck am I doing here?
What are you trying to do, just rub it in my face, is that it?
- I didn't mean to upset you... - Oh, did you not?
What did you think you were trying to do to me, huh?
My intention's not to upset you, I just want you to see
what's going on, how we live, what our family's like.
Can't you see that this'll all be destroyed if...
I was told that the wedding is off. Is the wedding off?
No, you see? Casim, will go ahead with the marriage.
His family is very important to him.
So what is this? You're just gonna leave me sitting here
like some fucking idiot and rub it in my face?
My intention is to show you what's going on here
and show you that that's my family. I care about them.
Okay? And I'm not prepared to give all of that up
plus Amar up for someone who doesn't even know
they're gonna love my brother next week.
You're fucked, Rukhsana. You and your whole fucking family is fucked.
Stay here.
It's nothing.
You go in.
What's this? You should talk to them.
- How far have they come? - From Pakistan.
Why? I don't understand.
But they came for the wedding.
- What wedding? - Yours!
With Jasmine.
When I left, what did I say?
Dad, what did I say before I left?
But they don't know anything.
- Let's go sit. - I don't want to.
Casim, Casim, I've been trying to tell you, but they've got my mobile.
- They've got Roisin outside. - They what?!
They've got Roisin outside, in the car.
- Casim! Casim! - Rukhsana brought her.
Hey! Come back here!
- What the fuck is going on? - Rukhsana, stop him!
You come back here!
I don't know where she's gone.
I can't believe this! What's going on?
- She's gone. - Where is she?
- You come back here. - Casim, come with me.
- I'm not coming back anywhere. - Forget her!
No!
Rukhsana, take your mom inside.
- Is this some sort of fucking joke? - I may not be as clever
or educated like you are, but I'm your father. Please try to understand.
Right. Listen. See, you could be with them 100 years,
they'll still call you black bastard, right?
You're still the same to them. Think of 25 years down the road.
What happens when you don't have your health,
your money, your resources, your business?
What'll happen? She'll kick you out.
- Right? - You don't know that, Dad.
Listen, don't let a cheap goree come between us.
They'll throw you out in the street. She'll find another man.
What about values? Right?
What about your culture, your religion, right?
Listen to your mom. We're your parents.
We'll die for you. We'll do anything for you.
You're are only son. You're our future.
Respect my choice then, Dad. That's all I ask of you.
- We do. We do! - Respect my fucking choice!
- Casim. - You don't understand that, right?
Meet her, then. Her name's Roisin.
Meet her, talk to her, get to know her! Can you do that?
Listen, I'll ask you one more time.
You're not asking me, Dad, you're telling me.
You've done that your whole life. Your whole fucking life
- you've told me. - Don't swear like that to me.
- Just give her a chance. - Don't swear like that to me.
Casim! Come back!
Oh God! You bastard, you!
Oh God, you do that for them.
Bastard! Bastard!
Bastard! Bastards!
Stop it!
Bastards! Come on!
Don't fucking do that!
Roisin?
- How's your hand? - It's better.
- It's still sore.
Dad...
I know how you feel about...
me wanting to be a journalist
and about Edinburgh University.
I just want you to know that...
I really want to go.
And I'm going to go.
And I'm going to keep speaking to Casim.
I can't not speak to him. He's my brother.
You've both given me a lot...
and I'll give you a lot back.
Thanks, Mom.
I've been looking for you everywhere, Roisin.
I went to a bar.
Several, actually.
Nearly fucked a complete stranger, can you believe that?
Felt a tad lonely, to be honest.
Have you come to pick up your stuff?
That depends.
What on?
On whether you'll grow tired of me.
Absolutely.
Will you throw me out if I get sick?
Definitely.
- Watch too much telly? - Most certainly.
- Become bankrupt and penniless? - Without a doubt.
If I get depressed and lose my mind?
I'll send you a card.
- Better pick up my stuff, then. - Yeah, you better.
And what about...
when I get...
very, very, very old, Miss Hanlon?
I'll let you know.
Crazy durdou.
Smelly goree.