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Resync By
^^Lututkanan@subscene^^
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Do you consider the book
to be autobiographical?
3
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Well, I mean...
4
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...isn't everything autobiographical?
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I mean, we all see the world
through our own tiny keyhole, right?
6
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I mean, I always think
of Thomas Wolfe.
7
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Have you ever seen that little
one-page "Note to Reader"...
8
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...in the front
of Look Homeward, Angel?
9
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Anyway, he says that we are the sum
of all the moments of our lives...
10
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...and anybody who sits down to write
will use the clay of their own life...
11
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...that you can't avoid that.
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So when I look at my own life,
I have to admit, right, that I...
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I've never been around a bunch of guns
or violence, you know, not really.
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No political intrigue
or a helicopter crash, right?
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But my life, from my own point of view,
has been full of drama, right?
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And so I thought,
if I could write a book...
17
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...that could capture what it's like
to really meet somebody...
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One of the most exciting things
that's happened to me...
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...is to meet somebody,
make that connection.
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And if I could make that valuable,
you know, to capture that...
21
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...that would be the attempt, or...
22
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Did I answer your question?
23
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I'll try to be more specific.
24
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Was there ever a French young woman
on a train you met...
25
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...and spent an evening with?
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See, to me, that... I mean...
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...that's not important, you know?
- So that's a yes?
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All right, since I'm in France and this
is the last stop of my book tour, yes.
29
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Thank you.
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Mr. Wallace, the book ends
on an ambiguous note.
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We don't know.
32
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Do you think they get back together
in six months...
33
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...like they promise each other?
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Like they promised?
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I think how you answer that,
you know, is...
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It's a good test, right,
if you're a romantic or a cynic.
37
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Right? I mean, you think
they get back together, right?
38
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- You don't, for sure.
- No.
39
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And you hope they do,
but you're not sure.
40
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- That's why you're asking the question.
- Do you think they get back together?
41
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I mean, did you in real life?
42
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Did I in real...?
43
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Look, in the words
of my grandfather, okay:
44
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"To answer that would take
the piss out of the whole thing. "
45
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We just have the time
for one last question.
46
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What is your next book?
47
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I don't know, man. I don't know.
48
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I've been...
I've been thinking about this...
49
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Well, I always kind of wanted
to write a book...
50
00:04:34,824 --> 00:04:38,339
...that all took place
within the space of a pop song.
51
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Like three or four minutes long,
the whole thing.
52
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The story, the idea,
is that there's this guy, right...
53
00:04:45,752 --> 00:04:48,346
...and he's totally depressed.
54
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His great dream was to be a lover,
an adventurer, you know...
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...riding motorcycles
through South America.
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And instead he's sitting
at a marble table eating lobster.
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He's got a good job and
a beautiful wife, right, but that...
58
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Everything that he needs.
But that doesn't matter...
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00:05:05,730 --> 00:05:08,563
...because what he wants
is to fight for meaning.
60
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You know? Happiness
is in the doing, right?
61
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Not in the getting what you want.
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So he's sitting there,
and just that second...
63
00:05:17,575 --> 00:05:21,648
...his little 5-year-old daughter
hops up on the table.
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And he knows that she should
get down, because she could get hurt.
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But she's dancing to this pop song
in a summer dress.
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And he looks down...
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00:05:33,049 --> 00:05:35,438
...and all of a sudden, he's 6.
68
00:05:36,386 --> 00:05:41,619
And his high-school sweetheart
is dropping him off at home.
69
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And they just lost their virginity,
and she loves him...
70
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...and the same song is playing
on the car radio.
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And she climbs up and starts dancing
on the roof of the car.
72
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And now he's worried about her.
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And she's beautiful, with a facial
expression just like his daughter's.
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In fact, maybe that's why
he even likes her.
75
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You see, he knows he's not
remembering this dance...
76
00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:08,547
...he's there. He's there,
in both moments, simultaneously.
77
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And just for an instant,
all his life is just folding in on itself.
78
00:06:12,547 --> 00:06:15,141
And it's obvious to him
that time is a lie.
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That it's all happening all the time...
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...and inside every moment
is another moment...
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...all happening simultaneously.
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Anyway, that's kind of the idea.
Anyway.
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Our author has to be going
to the airport soon...
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...so thank you all very much
for coming over this afternoon.
85
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And a special thanks to Mr. Wallace
for being with us.
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Thank you. Thank you.
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We hope to see you here again
with your next book.
88
00:06:50,543 --> 00:06:53,774
Thank you all. How much longer
before I have to go to the airport?
89
00:06:54,089 --> 00:06:55,647
Oh, you should leave at 7:30...
90
00:06:55,965 --> 00:06:58,399
- Seven-thirty at the very latest.
- Okay.
91
00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:06,587
- Hi.
- Hello.
92
00:07:09,354 --> 00:07:11,948
- How are you?
- Good, and you?
93
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I'm good, yeah, I'm great. I'm...
94
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Do you wanna, maybe,
get a cup of coffee?
95
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Didn't he just say
you have a plane to catch?
96
00:07:24,035 --> 00:07:26,833
Yeah. But, I mean, I have a little time.
97
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- Okay.
- Yeah? All right, well, let me...
98
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I'll meet you outside. Okay.
99
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Excuse me. I'm just gonna go
get a cup of coffee.
100
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- I'll be back at 7: 5.
- Did you sign all these?
101
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- Yeah, I sure did.
- Get your driver Philippe's card...
102
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...so you can call his cell
if you're running late.
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We'll put your bags in the car
so you're not late.
104
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- All right, thanks for everything.
- Thank you.
105
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Which one's Philippe?
106
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- I can't believe you're here.
- I live here in Paris.
107
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Are you sure you don't have to stay?
You're not supposed to talk more?
108
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They're sick of me.
I spent the night here.
109
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- You did?
- Yeah, they got a loft upstairs.
110
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- How are you? This is so weird.
- I'm fine.
111
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- It's good to see you.
- It's good to see you.
112
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- So you want to go to a café?
- Yeah.
113
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Okay. There's one a little further
that I like.
114
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I thought I was gonna totally lose it
in there when I first saw you.
115
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How did you know
I was gonna be here?
116
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It's my favorite bookstore in Paris.
You can sit down for hours and read.
117
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I love it. There's fleas,
but, you know...
118
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I know. I think a cat slept
on my head last night.
119
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I saw your picture on the calendar
about a month ago...
120
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...and that you were going
to be here.
121
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It's funny, because I read an article
on your book...
122
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...and it sounded vaguely familiar.
- Vaguely? Yeah.
123
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But I didn't put it all together
until I saw your photo. So...
124
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Did you have a chance to read it?
125
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Yes, I...
126
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I was really, really surprised,
as you can imagine.
127
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I mean, I had to read it twice, actually.
128
00:09:22,237 --> 00:09:24,193
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
129
00:09:25,698 --> 00:09:28,212
No, I liked it. It's very romantic.
130
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I usually don't like that,
but it's really well-written.
131
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- It's well-written. Congratulations.
- All right. Thank you.
132
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- Wait.
- What?
133
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Before we go anywhere,
I have to ask you...
134
00:09:41,256 --> 00:09:42,769
Sure. What?
135
00:09:43,007 --> 00:09:45,885
Did you show up in Vienna
that December?
136
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- Did you?
- No, I couldn't. But did you?
137
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- I need to know. It's important to me.
- Why, if you didn't?
138
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Well, did you?
139
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No.
140
00:10:01,443 --> 00:10:02,876
Thank God you didn't.
141
00:10:03,153 --> 00:10:04,871
- Oh, my God.
- Thank God you didn't.
142
00:10:05,155 --> 00:10:08,511
Thank God I didn't and you didn't.
If one of us had showed up alone...
143
00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:11,134
...that would have sucked.
- I was so concerned.
144
00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:15,120
I felt horrible about not being there,
but I couldn't. My grandma died...
145
00:10:15,498 --> 00:10:17,648
...and she was buried that day,
December 6th.
146
00:10:17,959 --> 00:10:20,427
- The one in Budapest?
- Yes. You remember that?
147
00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:23,427
- I remember everything.
- Of course, it was in your book.
148
00:10:23,715 --> 00:10:26,866
But anyway, I was about to
fly to Vienna, you know...
149
00:10:27,218 --> 00:10:31,097
...and we heard the news about her,
and of course I had to go to the funeral.
150
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:33,103
Yeah, I'm sorry to hear that.
151
00:10:33,349 --> 00:10:36,944
I know. But you weren't there anyway.
152
00:10:37,312 --> 00:10:39,701
Wait. Why weren't you there?
153
00:10:40,023 --> 00:10:43,220
I would have been there
if I could have. I made plans...
154
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You better have a good reason.
155
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What?
156
00:10:49,407 --> 00:10:50,806
Oh, no.
157
00:10:51,534 --> 00:10:53,490
No, you were there, weren't you?
158
00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:56,347
Oh, no, that's terrible!
159
00:10:56,664 --> 00:10:58,302
I'm laughing, but I don't mean it.
160
00:10:58,541 --> 00:11:00,338
Did you hate me?
You must've hated me.
161
00:11:00,585 --> 00:11:02,735
- Have you been hating me all this time?
- No.
162
00:11:03,004 --> 00:11:04,278
- Yes, you have.
- No.
163
00:11:04,547 --> 00:11:06,299
But you can't hate me now, right?
164
00:11:06,591 --> 00:11:09,583
- I mean, my grandma...
- I don't hate you. It's no big deal.
165
00:11:09,928 --> 00:11:12,362
I flew all the way over there,
you blew the thing off.
166
00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:15,638
My life's been a big nosedive since,
but it's not a problem.
167
00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:18,694
- No, I'm kidding.
- Don't say that. I can't believe it.
168
00:11:19,020 --> 00:11:21,375
You must have been so angry
with me. I'm so sorry.
169
00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:24,082
I wanted to be there,
more than anything in the world.
170
00:11:24,359 --> 00:11:26,998
- Honestly, I swear...
- You can't be angry, my grandmother...
171
00:11:27,278 --> 00:11:30,793
I know. I honestly thought that something
like that might have happened.
172
00:11:31,116 --> 00:11:33,107
I was definitely bummed, but...
173
00:11:33,368 --> 00:11:36,917
Mostly I was mad we hadn't exchanged
any phone numbers or any information.
174
00:11:37,247 --> 00:11:39,158
That was so stupid.
No way to get in touch.
175
00:11:39,416 --> 00:11:41,646
- Nothing to go on.
- I didn't know your last name.
176
00:11:41,918 --> 00:11:44,990
Remember, we were both afraid
if we started writing and calling...
177
00:11:45,296 --> 00:11:48,686
...that it would slowly fade out.
- It definitely wasn't a slow fade.
178
00:11:49,008 --> 00:11:50,202
No, it sure wasn't.
179
00:11:50,427 --> 00:11:52,179
We wanted to pick up
where we left off.
180
00:11:52,429 --> 00:11:55,660
Which would have been fine
if it had worked. Oh, well.
181
00:11:57,142 --> 00:11:58,621
So...
182
00:11:59,269 --> 00:12:02,341
- How long were you in Vienna, then?
- Just a couple days.
183
00:12:04,023 --> 00:12:06,093
Did you meet another girl?
184
00:12:06,401 --> 00:12:08,869
Yeah, her name was Gretchen
and she was amazing.
185
00:12:09,195 --> 00:12:11,789
The book's really a composite
of the two of you.
186
00:12:12,115 --> 00:12:15,744
No, I'm kidding. You wouldn't believe...
I even went back to the train station.
187
00:12:16,119 --> 00:12:20,032
I put up signs of my number
in the hotel in case you'd been delayed.
188
00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:22,887
- I was a total dork.
- Let's go this way. Did you get any calls?
189
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:26,334
Just a couple hookers
looking for a gig.
190
00:12:26,671 --> 00:12:29,105
No, it was awful, I mean,
what do you want me to say?
191
00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:30,735
It's so sad. I'm so sorry.
192
00:12:31,009 --> 00:12:33,967
I walked around for a couple days.
Eventually, I flew home.
193
00:12:34,304 --> 00:12:36,454
I owed my dad 2000 bucks...
194
00:12:36,765 --> 00:12:38,676
...who had warned me
about French chicks.
195
00:12:38,975 --> 00:12:40,772
What did he tell you
about French women?
196
00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:43,052
Nothing. He's never met
any French women.
197
00:12:43,354 --> 00:12:45,504
He's never been
east of the Mississippi.
198
00:12:45,774 --> 00:12:49,847
Why didn't you put, "Six months later,
the French bitch didn't show up"?
199
00:12:50,195 --> 00:12:51,708
No, but I did, I did.
200
00:12:51,988 --> 00:12:54,786
- You did?
- Yeah. No. I made it more hopeful.
201
00:12:55,116 --> 00:12:57,550
I wrote this fictional version
where you do show up.
202
00:12:57,869 --> 00:13:00,224
- Oh, what happens?
- Well...
203
00:13:01,623 --> 00:13:03,181
What?
204
00:13:03,666 --> 00:13:06,544
We make love for about 0 days straight,
that's one part of it.
205
00:13:06,836 --> 00:13:09,509
- Interesting. So the French slut, right?
- Yeah, exactly.
206
00:13:09,839 --> 00:13:12,228
It's just then they get
to know each other better...
207
00:13:12,509 --> 00:13:14,420
...and realize they don't
get along at all.
208
00:13:14,719 --> 00:13:17,870
- I like that. It's more real.
- My editor didn't think that way.
209
00:13:18,181 --> 00:13:20,217
Everyone wants to believe in love.
It sells.
210
00:13:20,475 --> 00:13:22,386
Yeah, exactly, so...
211
00:13:23,186 --> 00:13:25,654
So things are going well for you,
right? I mean...
212
00:13:25,980 --> 00:13:29,052
- Your book is a bestseller in the U. S.
- It's a tiny bestseller.
213
00:13:29,401 --> 00:13:31,312
- Oh, come on.
- All right. Officially, yes.
214
00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:34,603
Most people haven't read Moby Dick.
Why should they read my book?
215
00:13:34,906 --> 00:13:37,056
I haven't read Moby Dick
and I liked your book.
216
00:13:37,325 --> 00:13:39,520
- Thanks.
- Even though...
217
00:13:39,828 --> 00:13:42,467
...I thought you idealized
the night of it.
218
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:44,427
Come on, it's fiction, right?
219
00:13:44,666 --> 00:13:46,258
- I'm supposed to...
- I know, I know.
220
00:13:46,543 --> 00:13:49,615
I know. I thought there were times
where you made me...
221
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:54,161
Well, I mean, her, right?
No, me. Okay, whatever.
222
00:13:54,509 --> 00:13:57,467
- A little bit neurotic.
- You are a bit like that, aren't you?
223
00:13:57,804 --> 00:14:00,921
- You think I'm neurotic?
- No, no, no. Come on, I'm kidding.
224
00:14:01,224 --> 00:14:03,021
Where did I do that? I didn't do that.
225
00:14:03,268 --> 00:14:05,862
Oh, maybe it's just me, you know...
226
00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:09,058
Reading something, knowing
the character is based on you...
227
00:14:09,399 --> 00:14:11,959
...it's both flattering and disturbing
at the same time.
228
00:14:12,277 --> 00:14:13,710
How is it disturbing?
229
00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:18,026
I don't know. Just being part
of someone else's memory.
230
00:14:18,366 --> 00:14:20,880
Seeing myself through your eyes.
231
00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:23,470
How long did it take you to write it?
232
00:14:24,539 --> 00:14:26,257
Three or four years, on and off.
233
00:14:26,541 --> 00:14:29,578
Wow, that's a really long time
to be writing about one night.
234
00:14:29,919 --> 00:14:32,479
Yeah, I know. Tell me about it.
235
00:14:32,881 --> 00:14:35,236
I always assumed
you had forgotten me.
236
00:14:35,759 --> 00:14:38,398
No, I had a pretty clear picture
of you in my mind.
237
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:41,029
- I have to tell you something. I just...
- What?
238
00:14:41,306 --> 00:14:44,935
I've wanted to talk to you for so long
that now... It's just surreal, you know?
239
00:14:45,310 --> 00:14:46,982
I feel like everything should be...
240
00:14:47,228 --> 00:14:49,537
How long do we have?
Twenty minutes and 30 seconds?
241
00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:52,051
We got more than that.
I wanna know about you.
242
00:14:52,358 --> 00:14:54,872
Tell me, what are you doing?
What are you up to?
243
00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:59,632
Where to start? I work for Green Cross.
It's an environmental organization.
244
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:01,307
What are they all about?
245
00:15:01,576 --> 00:15:04,044
We basically work on different
environment issues...
246
00:15:04,329 --> 00:15:06,843
...from clean water to
disarmament of chemical weapons.
247
00:15:07,123 --> 00:15:09,478
International laws that deal
with the environment.
248
00:15:09,751 --> 00:15:12,026
- What do you do for them?
- We're going this way.
249
00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:13,819
Different things.
250
00:15:14,089 --> 00:15:17,798
Like, last year I was in India for a while,
working on a water-treatment plant.
251
00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:21,957
Well, the cotton industry there
is a major source of pollution, so...
252
00:15:22,263 --> 00:15:25,061
I mean, it sounds like you're actually
doing something.
253
00:15:25,392 --> 00:15:28,702
Most people, myself included,
just sit around and bitch.
254
00:15:29,020 --> 00:15:33,491
You know, how America's consuming
all the world's resources, SUVs suck...
255
00:15:33,858 --> 00:15:35,177
...global warming is real...
256
00:15:35,443 --> 00:15:38,674
I'm relieved to hear you're not one
of those "freedom fries" Americans.
257
00:15:38,988 --> 00:15:41,297
Hey, you know...
But how'd you get into that?
258
00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:44,725
I came out of political science,
hoping to work for the government.
259
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:47,672
- And I did for a little while. Terrible.
- Not good?
260
00:15:47,997 --> 00:15:51,467
Yeah, no. Anyway, I got really tired...
Let's go this way.
261
00:15:51,835 --> 00:15:54,030
Having this endless conversation
with friends...
262
00:15:54,295 --> 00:15:56,445
...about how the world
was falling to pieces.
263
00:15:56,756 --> 00:15:59,065
So I decided what I really
wanted to do was...
264
00:15:59,384 --> 00:16:02,581
...to find things that could be fixed
and try to fix them, you know?
265
00:16:02,929 --> 00:16:06,524
You know, I always thought you'd be
doing something cool like that. I did.
266
00:16:06,891 --> 00:16:11,601
Thanks. I just feel really, really lucky
to be doing a job I like, you know?
267
00:16:12,021 --> 00:16:13,420
Yeah.
268
00:16:13,648 --> 00:16:18,199
I actually alternate in between thinking
everything is irrevocably screwed up...
269
00:16:18,570 --> 00:16:20,765
...and things might be
getting better in ways.
270
00:16:21,072 --> 00:16:23,381
Better? How could you
possibly say that?
271
00:16:23,658 --> 00:16:25,376
Well, I just mean, you know, like...
272
00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:29,133
I know it sounds weird, but there are
things to be optimistic about.
273
00:16:29,497 --> 00:16:34,013
Okay... I know your book is selling,
which is great, I'm very happy for you.
274
00:16:34,419 --> 00:16:37,536
But let me break the news to you:
The world is a mess right now.
275
00:16:37,881 --> 00:16:40,270
From a Western view,
things are getting a bit better.
276
00:16:40,592 --> 00:16:44,028
We're moving industry to developing
nations where we can get cheap labor...
277
00:16:44,387 --> 00:16:47,504
...free of any environmental laws.
The weapon industry is booming.
278
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:50,640
Five million people die a year
from preventable water disease.
279
00:16:50,977 --> 00:16:53,855
How is the world getting better?
I'm not angry, I'm not angry.
280
00:16:54,189 --> 00:16:56,180
But come on, I want to know.
I'm interested.
281
00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:59,839
I realize that there are a lot
of serious problems in the world.
282
00:17:00,195 --> 00:17:02,345
- Okay. Thank you.
- I mean, I don't even have...
283
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:05,886
...one publisher in the Asian market.
- Okay. All right.
284
00:17:06,701 --> 00:17:09,534
- Say stop.
- What? Stop.
285
00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:13,583
Look, all I'm saying is there's more
awareness. People are gonna fight back.
286
00:17:13,917 --> 00:17:16,795
The world might be getting better
because people like you...
287
00:17:17,087 --> 00:17:18,645
...are educated and speaking out.
288
00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:22,369
Even the very notion of conservation,
environmental issues...
289
00:17:22,717 --> 00:17:24,992
...weren't in the vocabulary
till fairly recently.
290
00:17:25,261 --> 00:17:29,174
And they're becoming the norm and
eventually might be what's expected.
291
00:17:29,557 --> 00:17:32,390
I agree with what you're saying,
but at the same time it's dangerous.
292
00:17:32,727 --> 00:17:35,241
An imperialist country can use
that kind of thinking...
293
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:37,592
...to justify their economic greed.
294
00:17:39,150 --> 00:17:43,029
Is there any particular imperialist country
you have in mind, there, Frenchie?
295
00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:45,479
- No, not really.
- No?
296
00:17:50,995 --> 00:17:54,351
- So you wanna sit over there?
- Yeah, this is perfect.
297
00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:57,513
Oh, wow. Maybe what I'm saying is...
298
00:17:57,836 --> 00:18:00,634
...the world might be evolving
the way a person evolves.
299
00:18:00,922 --> 00:18:03,834
Like, I mean, me, for example.
Am I getting worse?
300
00:18:04,134 --> 00:18:08,173
Am I improving? I don't know.
When I was younger, I was healthier...
301
00:18:08,513 --> 00:18:10,902
...but I was wracked with insecurity,
you know?
302
00:18:11,641 --> 00:18:13,632
Now I'm older and my problems
are deeper...
303
00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:15,690
...but I'm more equipped
to handle them.
304
00:18:16,521 --> 00:18:18,591
So, what are your problems?
305
00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:24,545
Right now I don't have any.
I don't, you know? I'm just...
306
00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:26,576
...damn happy to be here.
307
00:18:27,073 --> 00:18:28,586
Me too.
308
00:18:31,661 --> 00:18:33,811
So how long have you been in Paris?
309
00:18:34,122 --> 00:18:37,398
I got in last night.
I've done 0 cities in 2 days.
310
00:18:37,751 --> 00:18:39,981
I'm wrecked. I'm so glad it's over,
you know?
311
00:18:40,295 --> 00:18:41,694
I'm tired of being a huckster.
312
00:18:42,338 --> 00:18:43,771
- Hi.
- Hello.
313
00:18:44,049 --> 00:18:45,482
What do you want?
314
00:18:45,759 --> 00:18:47,636
A cup of coffee.
315
00:18:51,473 --> 00:18:55,068
God, I love this café. I wish they had
places like this in the U. S.
316
00:18:55,643 --> 00:18:58,032
Yeah, I missed cafés
when I was living over there.
317
00:18:58,354 --> 00:19:01,107
I mean, I find a few places
I really liked, but there was...
318
00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:05,275
- You were living in the U. S.?
- Yes, from '96 to '99.
319
00:19:05,653 --> 00:19:07,166
I was studying at NYU.
320
00:19:07,614 --> 00:19:10,128
Oh, God, don't tell me that, Celine.
321
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:12,406
- What?
- No, it's just...
322
00:19:12,702 --> 00:19:14,340
- Nothing, I mean, I...
- What?
323
00:19:14,579 --> 00:19:17,810
I've been living in New York since '98.
We were there at the same time.
324
00:19:18,124 --> 00:19:19,637
- In New York?
- Yeah.
325
00:19:19,876 --> 00:19:24,392
That's weird. It actually crossed my mind
a few times that I might run into you...
326
00:19:24,756 --> 00:19:26,986
...but the odds are so slim, right? So...
327
00:19:27,675 --> 00:19:29,506
I didn't even know
what city you were in.
328
00:19:29,761 --> 00:19:33,117
- Weren't you somewhere in Texas?
- Yeah, yeah, definitely. I just...
329
00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:36,829
I was for a long time. I just,
you know, wanted to try New York.
330
00:19:39,020 --> 00:19:40,612
What brought you back here?
331
00:19:40,897 --> 00:19:42,808
I had finished my master's, for one...
332
00:19:43,108 --> 00:19:45,224
...and no visa, no more visa.
333
00:19:45,527 --> 00:19:49,725
And I was starting to get paranoid.
All the violence in the medias:
334
00:19:50,073 --> 00:19:53,190
Gang violence, murders,
especially serial killers...
335
00:19:54,953 --> 00:19:56,545
But the final straw was...
336
00:19:56,830 --> 00:19:59,583
...one night I heard some noise
on my fire escape...
337
00:19:59,916 --> 00:20:02,350
...so I called 9,
and the cops came eventually.
338
00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:06,025
- Like three hours later.
- Yeah, after I had been raped and killed.
339
00:20:06,798 --> 00:20:09,187
No, but it was a man
and a woman officer.
340
00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:11,420
I was explaining what I had heard...
341
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:13,915
...when the woman had
to go move the police car.
342
00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:15,818
I was left alone with the male cop.
343
00:20:16,057 --> 00:20:20,335
Right away he asked me if I had a gun,
and I said, "No, of course not. "
344
00:20:20,729 --> 00:20:23,482
And he told me, "Well, you better
think about getting one.
345
00:20:23,815 --> 00:20:27,012
This is America, not France. Okay?"
346
00:20:27,318 --> 00:20:30,310
And I said to him, "I have no idea
how to shoot a gun...
347
00:20:30,655 --> 00:20:33,044
...and I have no interest
in firearms whatsoever. "
348
00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:36,995
And that's when he pulled out his gun,
like this, and he went:
349
00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:42,603
"Well, one day, you're gonna have
something like this in your face...
350
00:20:43,084 --> 00:20:45,314
...and if you wanna have a long life...
351
00:20:46,004 --> 00:20:49,633
...you're gonna have to choose
between you or them. "
352
00:20:50,884 --> 00:20:55,082
And then they left. And the next morning
I called for an application to get a gun.
353
00:20:55,472 --> 00:20:57,861
Me with a gun.
I mean, that's really scary.
354
00:20:58,183 --> 00:21:00,219
But then I realized
something was wrong.
355
00:21:00,518 --> 00:21:03,908
The way that cop had pulled his gun out,
and everything, right?
356
00:21:04,272 --> 00:21:06,024
So I canceled my demand
for the gun...
357
00:21:06,274 --> 00:21:09,266
...and I called the police and tried
to complain about that cop.
358
00:21:09,569 --> 00:21:12,037
- What happened with that?
- It was so much paperwork...
359
00:21:12,322 --> 00:21:15,041
...and then I got scared,
with my shitty student visa...
360
00:21:15,325 --> 00:21:17,634
- Thought you'd get deported?
- Exactly. I gave up...
361
00:21:17,911 --> 00:21:19,629
...and forgot about the whole thing.
362
00:21:19,913 --> 00:21:23,349
- Well, I guess I never forgot.
- Obviously.
363
00:21:23,708 --> 00:21:26,142
But still, you know,
I really enjoyed being there.
364
00:21:26,461 --> 00:21:29,453
- There's lots of things I miss in the U. S.
- Yeah? Like what?
365
00:21:31,549 --> 00:21:33,062
Well...
366
00:21:33,343 --> 00:21:35,732
The overall good mood
people have there.
367
00:21:36,054 --> 00:21:38,045
Like, even if it can be
bullshit sometimes.
368
00:21:38,306 --> 00:21:40,979
Like, "How you doing?" "Great. "
"How you doing?" "Great!"
369
00:21:41,518 --> 00:21:43,554
"Have a great day!"
370
00:21:44,062 --> 00:21:47,532
I don't know. Parisians can be
so grumpy. Have you noticed?
371
00:21:47,899 --> 00:21:50,413
No, everybody seems
pretty happy to me.
372
00:21:51,236 --> 00:21:54,034
- They're not happy. No.
- They're not happy?
373
00:21:54,322 --> 00:21:57,553
No, they are. I don't know. I just
mean French men. They drive me nuts.
374
00:21:57,909 --> 00:21:59,228
What is it? What about them?
375
00:21:59,619 --> 00:22:02,497
Well, they're very nice.
They're great, you know, to be around.
376
00:22:02,831 --> 00:22:04,742
They love food, wine,
they're great cooks.
377
00:22:04,999 --> 00:22:06,910
But I've had really bad luck with them.
378
00:22:07,168 --> 00:22:08,726
Why? What do you mean?
379
00:22:09,629 --> 00:22:12,507
- Well, I guess they're not as...
- What?
380
00:22:12,841 --> 00:22:14,354
What's the word?
381
00:22:15,468 --> 00:22:18,619
- Horny? They're not as horny.
- Horny?
382
00:22:18,972 --> 00:22:23,090
Wait, listen to me on this one. In that
regard, I am proud to be an American.
383
00:22:23,435 --> 00:22:25,266
And you should be.
In that regard only.
384
00:22:26,521 --> 00:22:28,432
Have you ever spent time
in Eastern Europe?
385
00:22:28,982 --> 00:22:31,371
Eastern... No, I don't.
Thank you.
386
00:22:32,527 --> 00:22:34,995
I remember as a teenager
I went to Warsaw...
387
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:37,714
...when it was still
a strict communist regime.
388
00:22:38,032 --> 00:22:40,307
- Which I don't approve of at all.
- Sure you don't.
389
00:22:40,618 --> 00:22:42,529
- No, I don't.
- I'm just kidding.
390
00:22:42,787 --> 00:22:45,585
But anyway, something about
being there was very interesting.
391
00:22:45,874 --> 00:22:48,991
After a couple of weeks,
something changed in me.
392
00:22:49,294 --> 00:22:52,331
The city was quite gloomy and gray...
393
00:22:52,630 --> 00:22:55,269
...but after a while,
my brain seemed clearer.
394
00:22:55,550 --> 00:22:57,142
I was writing more
in my journal...
395
00:22:57,427 --> 00:23:00,464
...ideas I'd never thought of before...
- Communist ideas?
396
00:23:00,805 --> 00:23:02,875
- Listen, I'm not...
- I'm sorry, I...
397
00:23:03,183 --> 00:23:04,855
- Okay.
- Go on.
398
00:23:05,143 --> 00:23:07,611
Okay. I'll send you to a gulag later.
399
00:23:07,896 --> 00:23:11,206
No. But it took me a while to figure out
why I felt so different.
400
00:23:11,524 --> 00:23:14,084
One day, as I was walking
through the Jewish cemetery...
401
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:16,191
...I don't know why,
but it occurred to me there...
402
00:23:16,446 --> 00:23:20,155
...I realized that I had spent the last
two weeks away from most of my habits.
403
00:23:20,492 --> 00:23:22,403
TV was in a language
I didn't understand...
404
00:23:22,660 --> 00:23:25,299
...there was nothing to buy,
no advertisements anywhere...
405
00:23:25,580 --> 00:23:27,138
...so all I'd been doing was...
406
00:23:27,374 --> 00:23:31,925
...walk around, think, and write.
My brain felt like it was at rest...
407
00:23:32,337 --> 00:23:35,773
...free from the consuming frenzy.
It was almost like a natural high.
408
00:23:36,132 --> 00:23:40,489
I felt so peaceful inside.
No strange urge to be somewhere else...
409
00:23:40,887 --> 00:23:42,161
...to shop...
410
00:23:42,430 --> 00:23:44,466
It could have seemed
like boredom at first...
411
00:23:44,724 --> 00:23:46,442
...but it became very, very soulful.
412
00:23:47,519 --> 00:23:48,998
It was interesting, you know?
413
00:23:49,229 --> 00:23:52,426
Can you believe it was nine years ago
we were walking around Vienna?
414
00:23:53,066 --> 00:23:56,615
- Nine years? No, that's impossible.
- No, it was. It feels like two months.
415
00:23:56,986 --> 00:23:58,817
But it was summer '94.
416
00:24:01,116 --> 00:24:03,311
Do I look any different?
417
00:24:04,994 --> 00:24:06,632
I do?
418
00:24:07,497 --> 00:24:08,691
I'd have to see you naked.
419
00:24:09,124 --> 00:24:11,001
- What?
- I know, I'm sorry.
420
00:24:11,292 --> 00:24:13,567
Your hair was different back then.
It was like...
421
00:24:13,837 --> 00:24:16,146
- It's the same... Oh, down.
- Yeah, take it down.
422
00:24:16,423 --> 00:24:18,095
Down. Okay, it was down. Okay.
423
00:24:18,383 --> 00:24:20,453
Well? Voilà.
424
00:24:20,802 --> 00:24:22,235
So?
425
00:24:24,347 --> 00:24:25,746
Okay, come on. Tell me.
426
00:24:29,811 --> 00:24:32,279
Skinnier, I think. A little thinner.
427
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:34,919
Did you think I was fat before?
428
00:24:35,191 --> 00:24:37,989
- No...
- Yeah, you thought I was a fatty.
429
00:24:38,319 --> 00:24:42,198
No, you thought I was a fatty. You
wrote a book about a fat French girl.
430
00:24:42,532 --> 00:24:44,363
- No, listen.
- Oh, no.
431
00:24:44,659 --> 00:24:46,695
Seriously, all right? You look beautiful.
432
00:24:46,995 --> 00:24:48,906
Do I look any different?
433
00:24:49,330 --> 00:24:52,720
No. Not at all.
Actually, you have this line.
434
00:24:53,084 --> 00:24:55,393
- I know.
- It's like a scar.
435
00:24:55,712 --> 00:24:59,944
- A scar? Like a gunshot wound?
- No, no, no. I like it. I'm sorry.
436
00:25:01,468 --> 00:25:06,064
I had this funny...
Well, horrible dream the other day.
437
00:25:07,307 --> 00:25:11,186
I was having this awful nightmare
that I was 32.
438
00:25:11,519 --> 00:25:14,591
And then I woke up,
and I was 23. So relieved.
439
00:25:14,939 --> 00:25:17,407
And then I woke up for real,
and I was 32.
440
00:25:17,734 --> 00:25:20,089
- Shit, man. It happens.
- Scary.
441
00:25:20,403 --> 00:25:22,963
Time goes faster and faster.
Apparently, it's because...
442
00:25:23,239 --> 00:25:26,549
...we don't renew synapses after
our 20s, so it's downhill from then on.
443
00:25:27,869 --> 00:25:30,747
I like getting older, you know?
Life feels...
444
00:25:31,164 --> 00:25:34,554
I don't know, it feels more immediate.
Like I can appreciate things more.
445
00:25:35,585 --> 00:25:38,053
No, me too, actually. I really love it.
446
00:25:38,630 --> 00:25:40,348
I was once...
447
00:25:40,632 --> 00:25:41,951
...a drummer in a band.
448
00:25:42,217 --> 00:25:44,685
- You were?
- Yeah. We were pretty good, actually.
449
00:25:45,011 --> 00:25:49,050
But the lead-singer guy, he was just so
obsessed with us getting a record deal.
450
00:25:49,391 --> 00:25:52,224
It's all we talked about, thought about,
getting bigger shows.
451
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:55,916
Everything was just focused on
the future all the time. And now...
452
00:25:56,231 --> 00:25:58,028
...the band doesn't even exist anymore.
453
00:25:58,274 --> 00:26:00,549
And looking back
at the shows we did play...
454
00:26:00,819 --> 00:26:03,617
...even rehearsing, it was just
so much fun.
455
00:26:03,905 --> 00:26:07,944
I just... Now I'd enjoy every minute of it.
Could I have a drag of that?
456
00:26:08,368 --> 00:26:11,280
Well, your book has been published.
That's a pretty big deal.
457
00:26:11,621 --> 00:26:14,738
You've been all around Europe.
Are you enjoying every minute of it?
458
00:26:15,583 --> 00:26:17,380
- Not really.
- Not really?
459
00:26:17,669 --> 00:26:18,988
No.
460
00:26:19,587 --> 00:26:22,147
- Do you have another one of those?
- Yes, of course.
461
00:26:24,342 --> 00:26:25,821
Here.
462
00:26:26,761 --> 00:26:29,753
In my field, I see these people that...
Oh, sorry.
463
00:26:30,098 --> 00:26:32,532
Come into it with big,
idealist visions...
464
00:26:32,809 --> 00:26:35,448
...of becoming the leader
that will create a better world.
465
00:26:35,729 --> 00:26:37,845
They enjoy the goal,
but not the process.
466
00:26:38,148 --> 00:26:39,945
- Right.
- But the reality of it is...
467
00:26:40,191 --> 00:26:43,467
...the true work of improving things
is in the little achievements.
468
00:26:43,820 --> 00:26:46,653
- That's what you need to enjoy.
- What do you mean, exactly?
469
00:26:46,990 --> 00:26:50,426
I was working for this organization
that helped villages in Mexico.
470
00:26:51,244 --> 00:26:53,633
And their concerns was how
to get the pencils...
471
00:26:53,913 --> 00:26:56,222
...sent to the kid
in those little country schools.
472
00:26:56,499 --> 00:27:00,174
It was not about big,
revolutionary ideas. It was about pencils.
473
00:27:00,712 --> 00:27:04,022
I see the people that do the real work,
and what's really sad is that...
474
00:27:04,549 --> 00:27:06,983
...the people that are
the most giving, hardworking...
475
00:27:07,260 --> 00:27:09,376
...and capable of making
this world better...
476
00:27:09,679 --> 00:27:12,671
...usually don't have the ego
and ambition to be a leader.
477
00:27:13,016 --> 00:27:15,530
They don't see any interest
in superficial rewards.
478
00:27:15,852 --> 00:27:18,764
They don't care if their name
ever appear in the press.
479
00:27:19,105 --> 00:27:21,778
They actually enjoy the process
of helping others.
480
00:27:22,108 --> 00:27:24,702
- They're in the moment.
- Yeah, but that's so hard...
481
00:27:24,986 --> 00:27:27,784
...you know, to be in the moment.
I mean, I feel like I'm...
482
00:27:28,073 --> 00:27:31,907
...designed to be slightly dissatisfied
with everything, you know?
483
00:27:32,243 --> 00:27:34,632
It's like always trying
to better my situation.
484
00:27:34,954 --> 00:27:38,264
I satisfy one desire,
and it just agitates another.
485
00:27:38,583 --> 00:27:41,973
And then I think, to hell with it, right?
Desire's the fuel of life.
486
00:27:42,295 --> 00:27:45,014
You know? Do you think it's true...
487
00:27:45,340 --> 00:27:48,138
...that if we never wanted anything,
we'd never be unhappy?
488
00:27:48,468 --> 00:27:53,303
I don't know. Not wanting anything,
isn't that a symptom of depression?
489
00:27:53,681 --> 00:27:57,151
Yeah, that is, right?
I mean, it's healthy to desire, right?
490
00:27:57,519 --> 00:28:00,989
Yeah. I don't know. It's what all
those Buddhist guys say, right?
491
00:28:01,356 --> 00:28:03,631
Liberate yourself from desire,
and you'll find...
492
00:28:03,900 --> 00:28:06,972
...you already have everything you need.
- But I feel alive...
493
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:09,993
...when I want something more
than basic survival needs.
494
00:28:10,281 --> 00:28:13,000
Wanting, whether it's intimacy
with another person...
495
00:28:13,326 --> 00:28:14,998
...or a pair of shoes, is beautiful.
496
00:28:15,286 --> 00:28:18,676
I like that we have those
ever-renewing desires, you know?
497
00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:20,678
Maybe it's this sense
of entitlement.
498
00:28:20,959 --> 00:28:24,554
You know, like whenever you feel like
you deserve that new pair of shoes?
499
00:28:24,921 --> 00:28:28,630
It's okay to want things, as long as you
aren't pissed off if you don't get them.
500
00:28:28,967 --> 00:28:30,764
Life's hard. It's supposed to be.
501
00:28:31,052 --> 00:28:33,930
If we didn't suffer, we wouldn't
learn a thing, you know?
502
00:28:35,432 --> 00:28:37,263
So, what, are you Buddhist,
or something?
503
00:28:38,393 --> 00:28:40,953
- No.
- No? Why not?
504
00:28:41,479 --> 00:28:46,030
I don't know. The same reason I don't
really consider myself anything, really.
505
00:28:46,609 --> 00:28:49,885
I decided a long time ago that
I was gonna be open to everything...
506
00:28:50,238 --> 00:28:52,627
...but not buy into any one
and only belief system.
507
00:28:54,367 --> 00:28:57,359
I went to this Trappist monastery
a couple years ago.
508
00:28:58,079 --> 00:29:01,788
- Trappist?
- Yeah, they're Catholic. Cistercian.
509
00:29:02,208 --> 00:29:05,678
- Why did you do that?
- Why? I'd been doing some reading.
510
00:29:06,046 --> 00:29:09,721
Thought it'd be cool. Have you ever
spent any time with monks or nuns?
511
00:29:10,216 --> 00:29:13,413
- No. It's not really my style.
- No?
512
00:29:14,345 --> 00:29:18,224
Well, I expected them to be all
glowering and stern, but they weren't.
513
00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:21,068
They were quick to laugh,
really easy to be around.
514
00:29:21,394 --> 00:29:24,272
Seriously, very attuned to everything,
they were just...
515
00:29:24,647 --> 00:29:26,956
You know, they weren't trying
to hustle anybody.
516
00:29:27,275 --> 00:29:29,664
They're trying to live and die
in peace with God...
517
00:29:29,986 --> 00:29:32,375
...or whatever part of them
they feel is eternal.
518
00:29:32,697 --> 00:29:34,574
It was just so refreshing to be around.
519
00:29:34,824 --> 00:29:37,213
You realize that most
of the people that you meet...
520
00:29:37,494 --> 00:29:39,212
...are trying
to get somewhere better.
521
00:29:39,454 --> 00:29:42,526
They're trying to make more cash,
get a little more respect...
522
00:29:42,874 --> 00:29:45,183
...have more people admire them.
It's exhausting.
523
00:29:45,502 --> 00:29:48,494
- No kidding.
- And it's exhausting to be one yourself.
524
00:29:48,838 --> 00:29:52,069
There I am, right, you know,
all greedy to be more spiritual.
525
00:29:52,384 --> 00:29:55,820
"I want to be a better person,"
you know? You can't escape.
526
00:29:56,137 --> 00:30:02,053
I had this boyfriend of mine many years
ago that wanted to be a Buddhist.
527
00:30:02,685 --> 00:30:05,119
So he went to Asia to visit some
of those monasteries.
528
00:30:05,438 --> 00:30:08,987
- I've thought about doing that too.
- Yeah, you should. I'll tell you why.
529
00:30:09,359 --> 00:30:12,590
He was good-looking, and each time
he went to one of the monasteries...
530
00:30:12,904 --> 00:30:15,418
...a monk offered to suck his cock.
531
00:30:15,740 --> 00:30:17,378
True story.
532
00:30:17,909 --> 00:30:20,707
It all comes down to that, doesn't it?
533
00:30:21,037 --> 00:30:23,107
That's why I really admire
what you're doing.
534
00:30:23,415 --> 00:30:25,451
- You know?
- What do you mean? Sucking cock?
535
00:30:25,750 --> 00:30:28,787
- No.
- No? Wrong answer.
536
00:30:29,087 --> 00:30:32,716
No, I was gonna say
you're not detached from life.
537
00:30:33,091 --> 00:30:35,400
You're putting your passion into action.
538
00:30:35,719 --> 00:30:38,279
Well, I try.
539
00:30:39,013 --> 00:30:42,244
You know something?
I'm gonna be on planes...
540
00:30:42,559 --> 00:30:44,789
...and in an airport
for the next eight hours...
541
00:30:45,103 --> 00:30:47,378
I'd just love to see
a little bit more of Paris.
542
00:30:47,772 --> 00:30:49,171
- Would you walk with me?
- Yeah.
543
00:30:49,399 --> 00:30:50,673
- Do you mind?
- That's great.
544
00:30:50,942 --> 00:30:52,773
- Do you want to?
- Let's do that. Yeah.
545
00:30:53,069 --> 00:30:54,821
What do we owe here?
Four-fifty?
546
00:30:55,113 --> 00:30:57,547
No, I got it, I got a little
per diem going on here.
547
00:30:57,824 --> 00:30:59,974
- This good, for a tip?
- Yeah, that's fine.
548
00:31:00,285 --> 00:31:02,515
- That's more than enough.
- Throw that in too.
549
00:31:02,871 --> 00:31:06,227
- Is there anywhere to go around here?
- It's sales day today.
550
00:31:06,583 --> 00:31:09,381
- What's that?
- It's when everything's on sale in Paris.
551
00:31:10,003 --> 00:31:11,356
It's twice a year.
552
00:31:13,923 --> 00:31:15,515
All right, let's go shopping.
553
00:31:15,759 --> 00:31:18,751
No, no, no. That's a bad idea.
I don't wanna inflict that on you.
554
00:31:19,095 --> 00:31:22,849
It's madness. Let's just go
to this garden path. It's really nice.
555
00:31:23,349 --> 00:31:25,658
All right. That sounds
better than shopping, actually.
556
00:31:25,935 --> 00:31:27,971
Not that I wouldn't do
whatever you wanted.
557
00:31:28,229 --> 00:31:31,107
Sometimes I don't even need
to buy anything. I just get high...
558
00:31:31,399 --> 00:31:33,117
...on trying on
and looking at things.
559
00:31:33,359 --> 00:31:35,077
Is this where we're going?
560
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:37,470
- Yeah.
- A therapist will tell you that's good.
561
00:31:37,739 --> 00:31:40,014
- Really? Are you ever in therapy?
- Oh, no.
562
00:31:40,325 --> 00:31:43,237
- Do I seem like I'm in therapy?
- I'm kidding.
563
00:31:43,787 --> 00:31:47,462
- Does it help your sex problems?
- My sex problems?
564
00:31:47,791 --> 00:31:49,270
- I'm kidding.
- Tell me the truth.
565
00:31:49,542 --> 00:31:51,692
- We didn't have any problems.
- No, I'm kidding.
566
00:31:52,003 --> 00:31:54,358
- We didn't even have sex.
- That's a joke, right?
567
00:31:54,672 --> 00:31:57,232
No, we didn't.
I mean, that was the whole thing.
568
00:31:57,509 --> 00:31:59,465
- Of course we did.
- No, no, no, we didn't.
569
00:31:59,761 --> 00:32:02,434
You didn't have a condom
and I never have sex without one.
570
00:32:02,764 --> 00:32:04,561
I'm extremely paranoid.
There's no way...
571
00:32:04,849 --> 00:32:07,283
I find it scary that you don't
remember what happened.
572
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:08,879
No, listen...
573
00:32:09,104 --> 00:32:11,698
...I didn't write an entire book,
but I kept a journal...
574
00:32:12,023 --> 00:32:15,811
...and I wrote the whole night in it.
That's what I meant, you idealizing it.
575
00:32:16,152 --> 00:32:19,269
All right, listen, I even remember
what brand of condom we used.
576
00:32:19,572 --> 00:32:21,403
That's disgusting.
I don't wanna hear it.
577
00:32:21,658 --> 00:32:24,092
- That's not disgusting.
- No.
578
00:32:24,452 --> 00:32:28,764
Okay, when I get home I'll check my
journal from '94, but I know I'm right.
579
00:32:31,835 --> 00:32:33,666
- Wait a minute.
- What?
580
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:36,559
- Was it in the cemetery?
- No.
581
00:32:36,881 --> 00:32:39,156
No, we went to the cemetery
in the afternoon.
582
00:32:39,426 --> 00:32:42,224
It was in the park, very late at night.
583
00:32:42,721 --> 00:32:44,791
- In the park?
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.
584
00:32:45,056 --> 00:32:46,808
I can't... I can't...
585
00:32:47,809 --> 00:32:50,960
Is it that forgettable? You really
don't remember? In the park?
586
00:32:51,312 --> 00:32:54,031
Okay. Wait a minute,
I think you might be right...
587
00:32:54,357 --> 00:32:55,631
You're messing with me now.
588
00:32:55,900 --> 00:32:57,219
- No.
- Are you messing with me?
589
00:32:57,485 --> 00:33:00,522
Okay. No, I'm sorry. I think...
I mean, you're right, okay?
590
00:33:00,864 --> 00:33:04,174
Sometimes I put things in drawers
inside my head and forget about it.
591
00:33:04,534 --> 00:33:07,094
It's less painful to put things
away than live with it.
592
00:33:07,412 --> 00:33:10,006
What, so that night was, like,
a sad memory for you?
593
00:33:10,331 --> 00:33:12,083
I didn't mean that night
in particular.
594
00:33:12,333 --> 00:33:14,324
I meant certain things
are better forgotten.
595
00:33:14,627 --> 00:33:17,016
I remember that night
better than I do entire years.
596
00:33:17,338 --> 00:33:19,056
- Me too.
- Really?
597
00:33:19,299 --> 00:33:21,369
Well, I thought I did.
598
00:33:24,095 --> 00:33:27,610
But maybe I... Maybe I put it away
because of the fact that...
599
00:33:27,932 --> 00:33:30,924
...my grandmother's funeral was
the day we were supposed to meet.
600
00:33:31,269 --> 00:33:34,102
It was a tough day for me,
but it must've been worse for you.
601
00:33:34,439 --> 00:33:38,830
It was unreal. I remember looking
at her dead body in the coffin...
602
00:33:39,194 --> 00:33:43,392
...at her beautiful hands, so warm,
so sweet, that used to hold me...
603
00:33:44,074 --> 00:33:47,225
...but nothing in that coffin resembled
what I remembered of her.
604
00:33:47,535 --> 00:33:49,048
All the warmth was gone.
605
00:33:49,371 --> 00:33:52,044
And then I was crying,
so confused if I was crying...
606
00:33:52,332 --> 00:33:57,690
...because I was never gonna see her
again or never gonna see you again...
607
00:33:58,129 --> 00:34:01,804
I'm sorry. I'm sorry to go on like this.
I've been a little down this week.
608
00:34:02,175 --> 00:34:05,053
- Why?
- I don't know. Nothing bad, just...
609
00:34:05,387 --> 00:34:07,264
Reading your book, maybe?
610
00:34:07,514 --> 00:34:11,223
No, but... Thinking of how hopeful
I was that summer and fall...
611
00:34:11,601 --> 00:34:13,717
...and since then it's been kind of a...
612
00:34:14,396 --> 00:34:15,749
I don't know.
613
00:34:15,980 --> 00:34:19,973
Memory is a wonderful thing if
you don't have to deal with the past.
614
00:34:22,862 --> 00:34:25,581
"Memory is wonderful if you don't
have to deal with the past. "
615
00:34:25,865 --> 00:34:27,457
Can I put that
on a bumper sticker?
616
00:34:27,700 --> 00:34:30,294
If you wrote a book about our night,
that's a good title.
617
00:34:30,578 --> 00:34:34,287
- And it could be a total different book.
- Yeah, there'd be no sex scenes.
618
00:34:35,041 --> 00:34:36,315
- But you know what?
- What?
619
00:34:36,584 --> 00:34:37,903
Now that we've met again...
620
00:34:38,169 --> 00:34:40,683
...we can change our memory
of that December 6.
621
00:34:40,964 --> 00:34:44,240
It no longer has that sad ending
of us never seeing each other again.
622
00:34:44,592 --> 00:34:48,870
Right. I mean, I guess a memory's
never finished as long as you're alive.
623
00:34:49,264 --> 00:34:52,700
Yeah, I know. I have this memory
from my childhood...
624
00:34:53,059 --> 00:34:55,527
...I realized recently never happened.
- What?
625
00:34:55,812 --> 00:34:58,645
Well, when I was 8 or 9,
my mom was so paranoid...
626
00:34:58,940 --> 00:35:01,693
...when I was walking home
from my piano lesson at night...
627
00:35:01,985 --> 00:35:04,579
...she'd warn me about dirty old men
giving me candies...
628
00:35:04,863 --> 00:35:06,615
...and then showing me
their pee-pees.
629
00:35:06,865 --> 00:35:09,823
She was so obsessed with it that,
later in life, you know...
630
00:35:10,118 --> 00:35:13,394
...I had this image in my head
that this really happened.
631
00:35:13,705 --> 00:35:17,095
To the point that I even associated sex
with that walk home.
632
00:35:17,417 --> 00:35:20,966
I mean, and sometimes,
even now, when I'm...
633
00:35:22,005 --> 00:35:25,793
When I'm having sex, I see myself
walking down that street.
634
00:35:26,134 --> 00:35:27,965
I swear. It's so weird, right?
635
00:35:28,219 --> 00:35:32,258
- Is that street nearby? I mean, could...?
- Could we? No.
636
00:35:32,599 --> 00:35:34,715
Very far.
637
00:35:35,977 --> 00:35:38,411
Did you ever keep a journal
when you were a kid?
638
00:35:38,688 --> 00:35:41,885
Yeah. On and off, I guess.
639
00:35:42,192 --> 00:35:44,262
It's funny, I read one of mine...
640
00:35:44,527 --> 00:35:46,324
...from '83 the other day.
- Yeah?
641
00:35:46,738 --> 00:35:48,330
And what really surprised me is...
642
00:35:48,573 --> 00:35:51,371
...that I was dealing with life
the same way I am now.
643
00:35:51,701 --> 00:35:53,612
I was much more hopeful and naive...
644
00:35:53,870 --> 00:35:57,988
...but the core, and the way I was
feeling things, is exactly the same.
645
00:35:58,333 --> 00:36:00,563
It made me realize
I haven't changed much at all.
646
00:36:00,835 --> 00:36:02,268
I don't think anybody does.
647
00:36:02,504 --> 00:36:06,133
People don't want to admit it, but it's
like we have these innate set points...
648
00:36:06,466 --> 00:36:09,936
...and nothing much that happens to us
changes our disposition.
649
00:36:10,261 --> 00:36:11,660
- You believe that?
- I think so.
650
00:36:11,888 --> 00:36:15,085
I read this study where they followed
people who'd won the lottery...
651
00:36:15,392 --> 00:36:17,189
...and people who'd become paraplegics.
652
00:36:17,435 --> 00:36:21,428
You'd think one extreme is gonna make
you euphoric and the other suicidal.
653
00:36:21,773 --> 00:36:24,367
But the study shows that,
after about six months...
654
00:36:24,651 --> 00:36:27,802
...as soon as people had gotten used to
their new situation...
655
00:36:28,113 --> 00:36:30,343
...they were, more or less, the same.
- The same?
656
00:36:30,615 --> 00:36:33,687
Yeah. Like, if they were basically
an optimistic, jovial person...
657
00:36:33,993 --> 00:36:36,712
...they're now an optimistic, jovial
person in a wheelchair.
658
00:36:37,038 --> 00:36:38,915
If they're a petty, miserable asshole...
659
00:36:39,165 --> 00:36:42,953
...they're a petty, miserable asshole
with a new Cadillac, a house and a boat.
660
00:36:43,294 --> 00:36:46,491
So I'll be forever depressed
no matter what great things happen?
661
00:36:46,798 --> 00:36:48,117
- Definitely.
- Great.
662
00:36:48,341 --> 00:36:49,979
No, come on, are you depressed now?
663
00:36:50,218 --> 00:36:52,413
No, no, I'm not depressed.
664
00:36:52,679 --> 00:36:55,239
But sometimes I worry
I'll get to the end of my life...
665
00:36:55,515 --> 00:36:58,905
...feeling I haven't done all I wanted to.
- Well, what do you want to do?
666
00:36:59,227 --> 00:37:00,865
I...
667
00:37:01,104 --> 00:37:04,016
I want to paint more,
I want to play my guitar every day.
668
00:37:04,315 --> 00:37:07,387
I want to learn Chinese.
I want to write more songs.
669
00:37:07,694 --> 00:37:11,846
There's so many things I want to do,
and I end up doing not much.
670
00:37:12,949 --> 00:37:18,546
All right, well, let me ask you this:
Do you believe in ghosts or spirits?
671
00:37:18,955 --> 00:37:20,274
No.
672
00:37:20,498 --> 00:37:21,772
- No?
- No.
673
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:25,595
- Okay, what about reincarnation?
- Not at all.
674
00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:27,797
- God?
- No.
675
00:37:28,048 --> 00:37:30,437
- All right.
- That sounds terrible. No, no, no.
676
00:37:30,717 --> 00:37:34,471
But I don't want to be one of those
people that don't believe in any magic.
677
00:37:34,804 --> 00:37:36,635
- So then, astrology?
- Yes, of course!
678
00:37:36,890 --> 00:37:38,642
- There we go.
- That makes sense, right?
679
00:37:38,892 --> 00:37:42,168
You're a Scorpio,
I'm a Sag, we get along.
680
00:37:43,229 --> 00:37:44,981
No, no, no.
681
00:37:45,231 --> 00:37:48,143
There's an Einstein quote
I really, really like.
682
00:37:48,443 --> 00:37:51,799
He said, "If you don't believe
in any kind of magic or mystery
683
00:37:52,113 --> 00:37:54,832
you're basically as good as dead. "
- Yeah, I like that.
684
00:37:55,116 --> 00:37:58,313
I've always felt there was some kind of
mystical core to the universe.
685
00:37:58,620 --> 00:38:03,614
But, more recently, I've started to think
that, me, my personality, whatever...
686
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,958
That I don't have any permanent
place here, you know.
687
00:38:07,253 --> 00:38:08,845
In eternity or whatever, you know.
688
00:38:09,089 --> 00:38:12,764
And the more I think that, I can't go
through life saying this is no big deal.
689
00:38:13,093 --> 00:38:16,449
This is it. This is actually happening.
What do you think is interesting?
690
00:38:16,763 --> 00:38:18,833
What do you think is funny?
What is important?
691
00:38:19,140 --> 00:38:21,335
You know, every day's our last.
692
00:38:21,810 --> 00:38:25,166
When I feel that way, I usually
call my mom to tell her I love her.
693
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:27,038
- Yeah?
- And she's always:
694
00:38:27,273 --> 00:38:31,232
"Are you okay? Do you have cancer?
Are you gonna commit suicide?"
695
00:38:31,569 --> 00:38:34,083
It's almost not worth it.
696
00:38:35,407 --> 00:38:38,080
So, what about us?
697
00:38:38,368 --> 00:38:40,802
- What about us?
- No, what I mean is...
698
00:38:41,079 --> 00:38:44,515
...if we were both going to die tonight...
- Like the apocalypse was coming?
699
00:38:44,833 --> 00:38:48,792
No, that's too dramatic... But what if
just the two of us were going to die?
700
00:38:49,129 --> 00:38:51,006
I mean, would we talk
about your book?
701
00:38:51,256 --> 00:38:53,895
- The environment? Or...
- If today was our last day?
702
00:38:54,175 --> 00:38:56,689
Yeah, what would we talk about?
What would you tell me?
703
00:38:56,970 --> 00:38:58,449
- Well...
- That's hard, huh?
704
00:38:58,680 --> 00:38:59,954
- No, no, I'll do it.
- Okay.
705
00:39:00,181 --> 00:39:02,536
I definitely would
stop talking about my book.
706
00:39:02,809 --> 00:39:05,369
- I would probably drop the environment.
- Okay.
707
00:39:05,645 --> 00:39:09,433
But I would still want to talk about,
you know, the magic in the universe.
708
00:39:09,774 --> 00:39:12,846
- I'd just want to do it from a...
- What?
709
00:39:13,153 --> 00:39:14,711
...a hotel room, you know...
710
00:39:14,946 --> 00:39:18,575
...in between sessions of us
wildly fucking until we die.
711
00:39:18,908 --> 00:39:21,627
Wow. Well, why waste time
with an hotel room?
712
00:39:21,911 --> 00:39:25,187
Why not do it right there on a bench?
713
00:39:26,082 --> 00:39:28,357
Come here, come here, come here.
714
00:39:28,626 --> 00:39:30,935
Okay. We're not gonna die tonight.
715
00:39:31,212 --> 00:39:33,168
All right. Too bad. I'm sorry.
716
00:39:33,423 --> 00:39:34,902
That was an extreme example.
717
00:39:35,133 --> 00:39:37,488
- I'm sorry.
- Okay.
718
00:39:37,761 --> 00:39:39,353
What I... My point was, you know...
719
00:39:39,596 --> 00:39:42,315
...to truly communicate with
people is very hard to do.
720
00:39:42,599 --> 00:39:45,272
No, I know, most of our
day-to-day exchanges...
721
00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:47,039
Yeah, no, I mean...
722
00:39:47,270 --> 00:39:49,784
...not to bring everything back to sex...
- But why not?
723
00:39:50,065 --> 00:39:53,057
No, this example, this friend of mine,
she was talking about...
724
00:39:53,359 --> 00:39:56,271
- She and her boyfriend... Problems in bed.
- Right.
725
00:39:56,613 --> 00:39:59,969
And how when they had been dating
for a year she started telling him...
726
00:40:00,283 --> 00:40:03,161
...what he could do to please her more,
and it freaked him out.
727
00:40:03,453 --> 00:40:04,727
- Why?
- Totally.
728
00:40:04,996 --> 00:40:06,907
He thought it meant
he was a bad lover...
729
00:40:07,165 --> 00:40:08,962
Maybe she shouldn't have
waited so long.
730
00:40:09,209 --> 00:40:11,484
- After a year...
- But men are so easily offended.
731
00:40:11,753 --> 00:40:14,142
- What, more than women?
- Definitely on that subject.
732
00:40:14,422 --> 00:40:15,741
- You think so?
- Yeah, yeah.
733
00:40:16,549 --> 00:40:18,585
Well, maybe it's because, you know...
734
00:40:18,843 --> 00:40:22,722
...men are easier to... To please.
- To please?
735
00:40:23,098 --> 00:40:25,976
- Well, I don't know.
- Yeah, they are. They're definitely.
736
00:40:26,309 --> 00:40:28,345
Anyway, this friend,
she was telling me...
737
00:40:28,603 --> 00:40:32,118
...next time she dates a man,
she's gonna make a little questionnaire...
738
00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:35,750
...about what they like and dislike...
- What, written down, or out loud?
739
00:40:36,069 --> 00:40:37,741
Yeah, mostly written down.
740
00:40:37,987 --> 00:40:41,502
But it wouldn't be just yes or no.
It would be a bit more complex than that.
741
00:40:41,825 --> 00:40:45,181
Like, for example, if the question is:
"Are you into S & M?"
742
00:40:45,495 --> 00:40:50,125
The answer could be: "No, but a good
spanking once in a while doesn't hurt. "
743
00:40:50,500 --> 00:40:54,049
Right, or like:
"Do you like talking dirty in bed?"
744
00:40:54,379 --> 00:40:57,689
- That kind of thing?
- Yeah, but not just like any dirty talk.
745
00:40:58,007 --> 00:41:00,282
Just "What specific word
would you like to hear?"
746
00:41:00,552 --> 00:41:01,826
- What, me?
- Well, yeah.
747
00:41:02,053 --> 00:41:04,613
For example what specific word
would you like to hear?
748
00:41:04,889 --> 00:41:06,447
I don't know.
749
00:41:08,017 --> 00:41:10,451
What do you feel about the word
"pussy"?
750
00:41:10,729 --> 00:41:13,402
I love it.
751
00:41:13,898 --> 00:41:15,490
Good.
752
00:41:15,734 --> 00:41:18,612
It's amazing what perverts we've
become in the past nine years.
753
00:41:18,903 --> 00:41:22,054
At least now we don't have to pretend
each new sexual experience...
754
00:41:22,365 --> 00:41:24,003
...is, like, a life-altering event.
755
00:41:24,242 --> 00:41:27,598
I know. By now, you've stuck it in
so many places it's about to fall off.
756
00:41:27,912 --> 00:41:31,461
And I can't realistically expect you've
become anything but a total ho.
757
00:41:31,791 --> 00:41:35,067
- Yeah, thank you.
- No, I'm s...
758
00:41:35,795 --> 00:41:38,673
- That's true. What can you do?
- What can you do?
759
00:41:38,965 --> 00:41:42,594
So, what kind of songs do you write?
I didn't know you did that.
760
00:41:42,927 --> 00:41:44,076
- What kind?
- Yeah, sure.
761
00:41:44,304 --> 00:41:45,896
- I don't know, just songs.
- Like?
762
00:41:46,139 --> 00:41:48,699
Like, some are about,
you know, people.
763
00:41:48,975 --> 00:41:50,567
Relationships. One's about my cat.
764
00:41:50,810 --> 00:41:53,199
- Sing one.
- No, I can't. I don't have a guitar.
765
00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:54,993
- Come on. A cappella.
- No, no, no.
766
00:41:55,231 --> 00:41:58,268
I'm not singing a song without a guitar.
You're nuts.
767
00:41:58,902 --> 00:42:00,733
Why not?
768
00:42:00,987 --> 00:42:03,342
- No, okay. Not now. No.
- One.
769
00:42:03,615 --> 00:42:06,732
If not now, when? You want to meet
here in six months with a guitar?
770
00:42:07,035 --> 00:42:08,468
I'll fly all the way over here.
771
00:42:08,703 --> 00:42:11,581
- You may or may not make the Métro.
- Okay, that's funny.
772
00:42:12,082 --> 00:42:14,073
- We've got to get back.
- We'll be all right.
773
00:42:14,334 --> 00:42:16,245
- You're gonna miss your flight.
- All right.
774
00:42:16,503 --> 00:42:18,255
We can walk down La Seine.
It's nice.
775
00:42:18,505 --> 00:42:20,018
Okay.
776
00:42:20,673 --> 00:42:24,222
- So you're flying back to New York?
- Yeah, yeah.
777
00:42:26,262 --> 00:42:30,050
So I read in that article that
you're married with a kid. That's great.
778
00:42:30,392 --> 00:42:32,781
Yeah, he's... He's 4.
779
00:42:33,061 --> 00:42:35,177
- What's his name?
- Henry. Little Hank.
780
00:42:35,438 --> 00:42:38,111
- He's so much fun.
- Oh, wow, I'm sure.
781
00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:41,233
- Your wife, what does she do?
- She teaches elementary school.
782
00:42:41,903 --> 00:42:44,371
- Do you have kids?
- Yes, two... Shit!
783
00:42:44,656 --> 00:42:46,055
- What?
- I left them in the car!
784
00:42:46,282 --> 00:42:48,842
With the windows up, six months ago!
Think they're okay?
785
00:42:49,119 --> 00:42:51,633
No, I'm kidding.
No, but I want to have kids someday.
786
00:42:51,913 --> 00:42:53,710
- I'm just not ready yet.
- No?
787
00:42:53,957 --> 00:42:56,994
- I'm in a good relationship, though.
- Oh yeah? That's good.
788
00:42:57,293 --> 00:42:59,284
- What's he do?
- He's a photojournalist.
789
00:42:59,546 --> 00:43:01,298
He does war coverage.
790
00:43:01,548 --> 00:43:04,016
He's away a lot, which is good
because I'm so busy.
791
00:43:04,300 --> 00:43:08,213
But isn't that dangerous? Aren't a lot of
those guys getting killed these days?
792
00:43:08,555 --> 00:43:11,672
He promises me he doesn't take risks,
but I often worry.
793
00:43:11,975 --> 00:43:14,409
He goes in this trance when
he photographs something.
794
00:43:14,686 --> 00:43:17,883
- What do you mean?
- Well, once we were in New Delhi...
795
00:43:18,189 --> 00:43:19,622
...and we passed a bum on the...
796
00:43:19,858 --> 00:43:22,008
- A bomb?
- A bum. A homeless.
797
00:43:22,277 --> 00:43:23,551
All right, right.
798
00:43:23,778 --> 00:43:27,453
He looked like he needed help, but his
first reaction was to photograph him.
799
00:43:27,782 --> 00:43:30,501
He went really close to his face,
fixing his collar...
800
00:43:30,785 --> 00:43:32,457
...totally detached from the person.
801
00:43:32,704 --> 00:43:35,343
But don't you have to be like that
to be good at that job?
802
00:43:35,623 --> 00:43:36,897
Yeah, I mean, I'm not...
803
00:43:37,125 --> 00:43:40,117
I'm not judging him.
What he does is essential and incredible.
804
00:43:40,420 --> 00:43:42,456
All I'm saying is that
I could never do it.
805
00:43:42,714 --> 00:43:44,386
Let's get on that boat. Come on.
806
00:43:44,632 --> 00:43:45,906
- No!
- Come on, it'll be fun.
807
00:43:46,134 --> 00:43:48,364
- You don't have time!
- They're about to take off.
808
00:43:48,636 --> 00:43:50,945
I've got 5 more minutes.
Do you have a cell phone?
809
00:43:51,222 --> 00:43:53,452
- Yeah.
- All right, I've got that driver's number.
810
00:43:53,725 --> 00:43:55,795
I can call him to pick us up
at the next stop.
811
00:43:56,061 --> 00:43:59,770
I've never been on those boats.
It's for tourists, it's embarrassing.
812
00:44:00,106 --> 00:44:01,380
Okay. All right.
813
00:44:04,861 --> 00:44:06,419
No, I'll get it, I'll get it.
814
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:09,748
All right. All right, all right.
815
00:44:13,370 --> 00:44:14,644
Thank you.
816
00:44:14,871 --> 00:44:16,941
- So are you in love with that guy?
- What guy?
817
00:44:17,207 --> 00:44:20,404
- The war photographer.
- Yes, of course.
818
00:44:24,339 --> 00:44:26,455
So do you have that cell phone?
819
00:44:26,716 --> 00:44:28,388
Oh, yeah.
820
00:44:28,635 --> 00:44:30,387
- Okay, let's see...
- Okay.
821
00:44:30,637 --> 00:44:31,911
What do I tell him?
822
00:44:32,138 --> 00:44:34,254
Tell him to pick you up at
Quai Henri Quatre.
823
00:44:34,516 --> 00:44:37,189
Oh, shit. Quai...?
824
00:44:37,477 --> 00:44:40,150
Henri Quatre. Quai Henri Quatre.
825
00:44:40,438 --> 00:44:42,394
Henri Quatre.
826
00:44:42,649 --> 00:44:45,527
What's wrong with you? No, do you
want me to...? Henri Quatre.
827
00:44:45,819 --> 00:44:47,138
- Henry Four?
- Yes!
828
00:44:47,362 --> 00:44:50,240
- Come on, why didn't you say so?
- I'm sorry. Okay.
829
00:45:02,502 --> 00:45:04,333
Yeah, is this Philippe?
830
00:45:04,587 --> 00:45:07,147
Yeah. Philippe, this is Jesse Wallace.
831
00:45:07,424 --> 00:45:08,743
Yeah.
832
00:45:08,967 --> 00:45:13,040
Well, listen, I'm on
one of those boats, right?
833
00:45:13,388 --> 00:45:16,186
And we're gonna arrive at Henry Four.
834
00:45:16,474 --> 00:45:19,705
At Port Henry Four.
You know what that is?
835
00:45:20,019 --> 00:45:22,408
All right, great.
And you have my bags, right?
836
00:45:22,689 --> 00:45:25,522
Yeah, so we'll be there in...
I don't know, it's the next stop.
837
00:45:25,817 --> 00:45:28,092
Okay. Au revoir.
838
00:45:29,279 --> 00:45:31,634
- It's okay?
- Yeah, yeah.
839
00:45:31,906 --> 00:45:33,783
Oh, wow.
840
00:45:34,034 --> 00:45:36,628
- Notre Dame, man. Check that out.
- Oh, wow.
841
00:45:36,911 --> 00:45:40,745
I heard this story once about when
the Germans were occupying Paris...
842
00:45:41,082 --> 00:45:42,640
...and they had to retreat back.
843
00:45:42,876 --> 00:45:44,753
They wired Notre Dame to blow...
844
00:45:45,003 --> 00:45:49,076
...but they had to leave one guy
in charge of hitting the switch.
845
00:45:49,424 --> 00:45:52,382
And the guy, the soldier,
he couldn't do it.
846
00:45:52,677 --> 00:45:56,226
He just sat there, knocked out
by how beautiful the place was.
847
00:45:56,556 --> 00:45:58,353
Then, when the Allied troops
came in...
848
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:01,956
...they found all the explosives
lying there and the switch unturned...
849
00:46:02,270 --> 00:46:05,785
...and they found the same thing
at the Sacré-Coeur, Eiffel Tower...
850
00:46:06,107 --> 00:46:08,302
...couple other places, I think.
851
00:46:08,568 --> 00:46:10,445
Is that true?
852
00:46:10,695 --> 00:46:13,653
I don't know.
I always liked the story, though.
853
00:46:13,948 --> 00:46:15,267
Yeah, that's a great story.
854
00:46:15,533 --> 00:46:18,286
But you have to think that Notre Dame
will be gone one day.
855
00:46:18,578 --> 00:46:21,615
There used to be another church
at the Seine, right there.
856
00:46:21,915 --> 00:46:24,634
- What, right in the same spot?
- Yeah.
857
00:46:26,211 --> 00:46:28,566
You know, this is great.
I've never done this.
858
00:46:28,838 --> 00:46:31,352
- Yeah.
- I forget about how beautiful Paris is.
859
00:46:31,633 --> 00:46:33,191
It's not so bad, being a tourist.
860
00:46:33,426 --> 00:46:35,815
- Thanks for getting me on the boat.
- You're welcome.
861
00:46:36,096 --> 00:46:38,894
I think that book that I wrote
was like building something...
862
00:46:39,516 --> 00:46:43,509
...so that I wouldn't forget the details
of the time that we spent together.
863
00:46:43,895 --> 00:46:47,490
You know, like, just as a reminder,
that once, we really did meet.
864
00:46:47,816 --> 00:46:50,649
You know, that this was real,
this happened.
865
00:46:50,944 --> 00:46:52,855
I'm happy you're saying that,
because...
866
00:46:53,113 --> 00:46:57,231
I mean, I always feel like a freak because
I'm never able to move on like this:
867
00:46:58,535 --> 00:47:01,686
People just have an affair,
or even entire relationships...
868
00:47:02,038 --> 00:47:04,313
...they break up and they forget.
869
00:47:04,582 --> 00:47:08,291
They move on like they would have
changed brand of cereals.
870
00:47:09,087 --> 00:47:12,204
I feel I was never able to forget
anyone I've been with...
871
00:47:12,507 --> 00:47:17,865
...because each person had their own
specific qualities.
872
00:47:18,263 --> 00:47:22,893
You can never replace anyone.
What is lost is lost.
873
00:47:24,269 --> 00:47:28,262
Each relationship, when it ends,
really damages me. I never fully recover.
874
00:47:28,606 --> 00:47:31,643
That's why I'm very careful
with getting involved...
875
00:47:31,943 --> 00:47:33,899
...because it hurts too much.
876
00:47:34,154 --> 00:47:37,191
Even getting laid,
I actually don't do that...
877
00:47:37,490 --> 00:47:40,288
...because I will miss of the person
the most mundane things.
878
00:47:40,577 --> 00:47:43,171
Like I'm obsessed with little things.
879
00:47:43,621 --> 00:47:45,851
Maybe I'm crazy,
but when I was a little girl...
880
00:47:46,124 --> 00:47:48,922
...my mom told me
that I was always late to school.
881
00:47:49,210 --> 00:47:51,485
One day she followed me to see why.
882
00:47:51,796 --> 00:47:55,914
I was looking at chestnuts falling from
the trees, rolling on the sidewalk...
883
00:47:56,259 --> 00:48:01,777
...or ants crossing the road, the way
a leaf casts a shadow on a tree trunk.
884
00:48:02,182 --> 00:48:04,138
Little things.
885
00:48:04,726 --> 00:48:06,478
I think it's the same with people.
886
00:48:07,062 --> 00:48:09,860
I see in them little details,
so specific to each of them...
887
00:48:10,148 --> 00:48:14,107
...that move me and that I miss
and will always miss.
888
00:48:14,444 --> 00:48:15,877
You can never replace anyone...
889
00:48:16,112 --> 00:48:19,900
...because everyone is made of such
beautiful, specific details.
890
00:48:23,536 --> 00:48:26,687
Like, I remember the way your beard
has a bit of red in it...
891
00:48:27,582 --> 00:48:30,142
...and how the sun
was making it glow...
892
00:48:30,460 --> 00:48:33,133
...that morning right before you left.
893
00:48:34,172 --> 00:48:37,926
I remembered that, and I missed it.
894
00:48:38,259 --> 00:48:39,533
Really crazy, right?
895
00:48:40,220 --> 00:48:43,974
Now I know for sure. You wanna
know why I wrote that stupid book?
896
00:48:44,349 --> 00:48:47,147
- Why?
- So you'd come to a reading in Paris...
897
00:48:47,477 --> 00:48:51,470
...and I could walk up to you and ask,
"Where the fuck were you?"
898
00:48:52,065 --> 00:48:54,181
No... You think I'd be here today?
899
00:48:54,442 --> 00:48:58,799
I'm serious. I think I wrote it,
in a way, to try to find you.
900
00:48:59,197 --> 00:49:01,188
Okay, that's... I know that's not true...
901
00:49:01,449 --> 00:49:03,679
...but that's sweet of you.
- I think it is true.
902
00:49:03,993 --> 00:49:06,348
What were the chances
of us ever meeting again?
903
00:49:07,247 --> 00:49:10,319
After that December,
I'd say almost zero.
904
00:49:10,875 --> 00:49:12,831
But we're not real anyway, right?
905
00:49:13,086 --> 00:49:16,158
We're just characters
in that old lady's dream.
906
00:49:16,464 --> 00:49:18,773
She's on her deathbed,
fantasizing about her youth.
907
00:49:19,050 --> 00:49:21,041
So of course we had to meet again.
908
00:49:21,302 --> 00:49:25,056
Oh, God. Why weren't you there
in Vienna?
909
00:49:26,391 --> 00:49:29,986
- I told you why.
- I know why, I just...
910
00:49:30,311 --> 00:49:32,461
I wish you would have been.
911
00:49:32,731 --> 00:49:34,881
Our lives might have been
so much different.
912
00:49:35,150 --> 00:49:37,266
You think so?
913
00:49:37,527 --> 00:49:39,085
I actually do.
914
00:49:39,362 --> 00:49:42,354
Maybe not. Maybe we would have
hated each other eventually.
915
00:49:42,699 --> 00:49:45,452
What, like we hate each other now?
916
00:49:46,494 --> 00:49:50,806
You know, maybe we're...
We're only good at brief encounters...
917
00:49:51,166 --> 00:49:55,205
...walking around in European cities,
in warm climate.
918
00:49:55,879 --> 00:49:58,871
Oh, God. Why didn't we
exchange phone numbers and stuff?
919
00:49:59,174 --> 00:50:01,244
Why didn't we do that?
920
00:50:01,509 --> 00:50:03,784
Because we were young and stupid.
921
00:50:04,054 --> 00:50:06,249
Do you think we still are?
922
00:50:06,514 --> 00:50:08,550
I guess when you're young
you just believe...
923
00:50:08,808 --> 00:50:11,242
...there'll be many people
you'll connect with.
924
00:50:12,020 --> 00:50:14,534
Later in life you realize
it only happens a few times.
925
00:50:14,814 --> 00:50:18,284
And you can screw it up, you know.
Misconnect.
926
00:50:18,651 --> 00:50:20,960
The past is the past.
It was meant to be that way.
927
00:50:21,237 --> 00:50:23,797
You really believe that?
That everything's fated?
928
00:50:24,074 --> 00:50:27,908
Well, you know, the world might be
less free than we think.
929
00:50:28,244 --> 00:50:29,882
Yeah?
930
00:50:30,205 --> 00:50:33,959
When given these exact circumstances,
that's what will happen every time.
931
00:50:34,292 --> 00:50:37,204
Two part hydrogen, one part oxygen,
you'll get water every time.
932
00:50:37,504 --> 00:50:40,780
No, I mean, what if your grandmother
had lived a week longer, you know?
933
00:50:41,091 --> 00:50:43,605
Or passed away a week earlier?
Days, even?
934
00:50:43,885 --> 00:50:45,398
Things might have been different.
935
00:50:45,637 --> 00:50:49,676
- You can't think like that, it's...
- You shouldn't on most things, but...
936
00:50:50,016 --> 00:50:55,010
It's just, on this one, it seemed like
something was off, you know.
937
00:50:55,730 --> 00:50:59,325
In the months leading up to my wedding,
I was thinking about you all the time.
938
00:50:59,651 --> 00:51:03,326
Even on my way there, I'm in the car, a
buddy of mine is driving me downtown...
939
00:51:03,655 --> 00:51:06,294
...and I'm staring out the window
and I think I see you...
940
00:51:06,574 --> 00:51:08,644
...not far from the church, right...
941
00:51:08,910 --> 00:51:11,299
...folding up an umbrella
and walking into a deli...
942
00:51:11,579 --> 00:51:15,049
...on the corner of 3th and Broadway.
943
00:51:15,375 --> 00:51:18,765
And I thought I was going crazy.
But now I think it probably was you.
944
00:51:19,713 --> 00:51:22,227
I lived on th and Broadway.
945
00:51:23,133 --> 00:51:24,930
You see?
946
00:51:26,302 --> 00:51:29,897
So, what is it like to be married?
You haven't talked much about that.
947
00:51:30,974 --> 00:51:34,364
I haven't? How weird.
948
00:51:35,019 --> 00:51:38,807
I don't know. We met, you know,
when I was in college.
949
00:51:39,149 --> 00:51:45,258
And we broke up and got back together
for a period of years, and then...
950
00:51:46,156 --> 00:51:50,195
What? We were sort of back together
and she was pregnant...
951
00:51:51,036 --> 00:51:52,549
...so marriage.
952
00:51:52,787 --> 00:51:54,743
What is she like?
953
00:51:54,998 --> 00:51:57,910
She's a great teacher, a good mom.
954
00:51:58,209 --> 00:52:01,121
She's smart, pretty, you know.
955
00:52:01,421 --> 00:52:03,412
I remember thinking at the time...
956
00:52:03,673 --> 00:52:05,948
...that so many of the men
that I admired most...
957
00:52:06,217 --> 00:52:10,847
...that their lives were dedicated to
something greater than themselves.
958
00:52:11,806 --> 00:52:14,400
So you got married because
men you admired were married?
959
00:52:14,684 --> 00:52:20,680
No, no. It's more like I had this...
This idea of my best self, you know?
960
00:52:21,107 --> 00:52:22,779
And I wanted to pursue that...
961
00:52:23,026 --> 00:52:25,665
...even if it might have been
overriding my honest self.
962
00:52:25,945 --> 00:52:27,298
You know what I'm saying?
963
00:52:27,530 --> 00:52:31,887
In the moment, I remember thinking
it didn't much matter, the who of it all.
964
00:52:32,285 --> 00:52:34,674
I mean, that nobody is gonna be
everything to you...
965
00:52:34,954 --> 00:52:37,707
...and that it's just the action
of committing yourself...
966
00:52:37,999 --> 00:52:41,355
...you know, meeting
your responsibilities, that matters.
967
00:52:41,669 --> 00:52:45,139
I mean, what is love, right,
if it's not respect, trust, admiration?
968
00:52:45,465 --> 00:52:48,423
And I... I felt all those things.
969
00:52:48,718 --> 00:52:51,471
Cut to the present,
and I feel like I'm running a nursery...
970
00:52:51,763 --> 00:52:54,323
...with somebody I used to date,
you know.
971
00:52:54,599 --> 00:52:56,351
I mean, I'm like a monk, you know.
972
00:52:56,601 --> 00:53:01,277
I mean, I've had sex less than 0 times
in the last four years.
973
00:53:01,981 --> 00:53:04,449
- What, what? You laughing at me?
- No.
974
00:53:04,734 --> 00:53:07,453
- It sounds pathetic?
- What monastery do monks have sex...?
975
00:53:07,737 --> 00:53:10,934
Okay, you're right, I'm doing better
than most monks.
976
00:53:11,241 --> 00:53:13,630
But I do, I feel like if somebody
were to touch me...
977
00:53:13,910 --> 00:53:16,026
...I would dissolve into molecules.
978
00:53:16,287 --> 00:53:18,926
Well, we're here. We've gotta go.
Come on.
979
00:53:19,207 --> 00:53:21,004
Shit.
980
00:53:33,596 --> 00:53:36,429
- I'm sorry to hear that, you know.
- What?
981
00:53:36,725 --> 00:53:39,683
You're not that happy
with your marriage.
982
00:53:39,978 --> 00:53:42,538
- This friend of mine, she's a shrink...
- How's she doing?
983
00:53:42,814 --> 00:53:44,327
She's a mess, but...
984
00:53:44,566 --> 00:53:47,683
No, she said she's been dealing
with couples that are breaking up...
985
00:53:47,986 --> 00:53:50,056
...for the same reason.
- What reason is that?
986
00:53:50,321 --> 00:53:52,960
They all expected, after a few
years of living together...
987
00:53:53,241 --> 00:53:55,471
...for the passion, that desire,
to be the same.
988
00:53:55,744 --> 00:53:57,143
- Yeah, right.
- It's impossible.
989
00:53:57,370 --> 00:53:58,644
And thank God...
990
00:53:58,872 --> 00:54:02,467
...we'd end up with aneurysms in that
constant state of excitement, right?
991
00:54:02,792 --> 00:54:04,510
We'd do nothing at all
with our lives.
992
00:54:04,753 --> 00:54:08,109
Would you have finished your book
if you were fucking every five minutes?
993
00:54:08,423 --> 00:54:10,891
I might have welcomed the challenge,
I mean...
994
00:54:11,217 --> 00:54:13,856
It's natural for your wife
after the birth of your son...
995
00:54:14,137 --> 00:54:16,651
...to give all her love to the little one.
- Of course.
996
00:54:16,931 --> 00:54:19,968
If she was obsessed with sex,
riding you like a wildcat...
997
00:54:20,268 --> 00:54:21,940
That wouldn't make any sense, right?
998
00:54:22,187 --> 00:54:25,623
Everything you're saying makes sense.
It's not about sex.
999
00:54:25,940 --> 00:54:28,056
No, I know. It's obvious.
1000
00:54:28,318 --> 00:54:29,831
I...
1001
00:54:31,029 --> 00:54:34,101
You know, couples
are so confused lately.
1002
00:54:34,407 --> 00:54:36,602
I think it must be that...
1003
00:54:36,868 --> 00:54:40,656
...men need to feel essential
and they don't anymore.
1004
00:54:40,997 --> 00:54:43,431
It's been imprinted in their head
for so many years...
1005
00:54:43,708 --> 00:54:45,346
...that they had to be the provider.
1006
00:54:45,585 --> 00:54:49,100
Like, I'm a strong, independent woman
in my professional life.
1007
00:54:49,422 --> 00:54:50,901
I don't need a man to feed me...
1008
00:54:51,132 --> 00:54:54,329
...but I still need a man to love me
and that I could love.
1009
00:54:55,845 --> 00:54:58,405
- So your driver's here.
- Yeah.
1010
00:54:58,723 --> 00:55:00,315
Well, I guess this is goodbye.
1011
00:55:00,558 --> 00:55:02,150
- You better give me your...
- No, no.
1012
00:55:02,394 --> 00:55:04,510
Why don't we just
give you a ride home?
1013
00:55:04,771 --> 00:55:07,001
- Well, I can take the Métro. I'm fine.
- No, I...
1014
00:55:07,273 --> 00:55:10,106
My flight's not until 0.
I'll be arriving two hours early.
1015
00:55:10,402 --> 00:55:11,755
This way we can keep talking.
1016
00:55:11,986 --> 00:55:14,022
- Monsieur, can...?
- It's not on the way.
1017
00:55:28,878 --> 00:55:30,709
You told him where you are
and all that?
1018
00:55:30,964 --> 00:55:32,522
Yeah.
1019
00:55:35,927 --> 00:55:38,282
- He knows where he's going?
- Yes.
1020
00:55:38,555 --> 00:55:40,352
Glad somebody does.
1021
00:55:40,598 --> 00:55:44,557
- But this is better than the Métro, right?
- Definitely.
1022
00:55:47,147 --> 00:55:51,379
I was thinking, for me it's better I don't
romanticize things as much anymore.
1023
00:55:51,735 --> 00:55:53,532
I was suffering so much all the time.
1024
00:55:53,778 --> 00:55:57,134
I still have lots of dreams,
but they're not in regard to my love life.
1025
00:55:57,490 --> 00:55:59,765
It doesn't make me sad,
it's just the way it is.
1026
00:56:00,076 --> 00:56:04,035
Is that why you're in a relationship
with somebody who's never around?
1027
00:56:04,372 --> 00:56:08,126
Yes, obviously I can't deal with
the day-to-day life of a relationship.
1028
00:56:08,460 --> 00:56:10,451
Yeah, we have this
exciting time together...
1029
00:56:10,712 --> 00:56:13,943
...and he leaves and I miss him,
but at least I'm not dying inside.
1030
00:56:14,257 --> 00:56:16,566
When someone's always around me,
I'm suffocating.
1031
00:56:16,885 --> 00:56:19,638
No, wait, you just said
that you need to love and be loved.
1032
00:56:19,971 --> 00:56:22,690
Yeah, but when I do,
it quickly makes me nauseous.
1033
00:56:22,974 --> 00:56:24,373
It's a disaster.
1034
00:56:24,601 --> 00:56:27,161
I mean, I'm really happy
only when I'm on my own.
1035
00:56:27,437 --> 00:56:32,113
Even being alone, it's better than sitting
next to a lover and feeling lonely.
1036
00:56:32,984 --> 00:56:34,815
It's not so easy for me
to be a romantic.
1037
00:56:35,070 --> 00:56:38,426
You start off that way, and after
you've been screwed over a few times...
1038
00:56:38,740 --> 00:56:42,892
...you forget about your delusional ideas
and you take what comes into your life.
1039
00:56:43,745 --> 00:56:46,134
That's not even true.
I haven't been screwed over...
1040
00:56:46,414 --> 00:56:48,723
...I've just had too many
blah relationships.
1041
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:50,752
They weren't mean,
they cared for me...
1042
00:56:51,002 --> 00:56:54,358
...but there were no real connection
or excitement.
1043
00:56:54,672 --> 00:56:56,742
At least, not from my side.
1044
00:56:57,008 --> 00:56:59,568
God, I'm sorry, is it really that bad?
1045
00:56:59,844 --> 00:57:01,800
It's not, right?
1046
00:57:03,139 --> 00:57:05,778
You know, it's not even that.
I was...
1047
00:57:06,059 --> 00:57:09,096
I was fine until I read
your fucking book.
1048
00:57:09,729 --> 00:57:11,321
It stirred shit up, you know?
1049
00:57:11,773 --> 00:57:14,287
It reminded me how
genuinely romantic I was...
1050
00:57:14,567 --> 00:57:16,637
...how I had so much hope in things...
1051
00:57:16,903 --> 00:57:20,293
...and now it's like I don't believe
in anything that relates to love.
1052
00:57:20,615 --> 00:57:22,526
I don't feel things for people anymore.
1053
00:57:23,743 --> 00:57:27,258
In a way, I put all my romanticism
into that one night...
1054
00:57:27,580 --> 00:57:29,969
...and I was never able to feel
all this again.
1055
00:57:30,250 --> 00:57:32,684
Like, somehow this night
took things away from me...
1056
00:57:32,961 --> 00:57:35,270
...and I expressed them to you,
and you took them with you.
1057
00:57:35,547 --> 00:57:37,344
It made me feel cold,
like love wasn't for me.
1058
00:57:37,590 --> 00:57:40,229
I don't believe that.
I don't believe that.
1059
00:57:41,594 --> 00:57:45,667
You know what? Reality and love
are almost contradictory for me.
1060
00:57:46,015 --> 00:57:50,133
It's funny, every single of my exes,
they're now married.
1061
00:57:50,478 --> 00:57:53,276
Men go out with me, we break up,
and then they get married.
1062
00:57:53,565 --> 00:57:56,921
And later they call me to thank me
for teaching them what love is...
1063
00:57:57,235 --> 00:57:59,624
...and that I taught them to care
and respect women.
1064
00:57:59,904 --> 00:58:02,179
- I think I'm one of those.
- I want to kill them!
1065
00:58:02,490 --> 00:58:05,960
Why didn't they ask me? I would have
said no, but they could have asked!
1066
00:58:06,286 --> 00:58:09,915
I know it's my fault because
I never felt it was the right man.
1067
00:58:10,290 --> 00:58:13,362
Never. But what does it mean,
the right man, the love of your life?
1068
00:58:13,668 --> 00:58:16,865
The concept is absurd. We can only be
complete with another person.
1069
00:58:17,213 --> 00:58:19,488
- It's evil, right?
- Can I talk?
1070
00:58:19,758 --> 00:58:23,034
I guess I've been heartbroken
too many times and then I recovered.
1071
00:58:23,344 --> 00:58:25,858
So now, you know, from the starts,
I make no effort.
1072
00:58:26,139 --> 00:58:28,812
- I know it's not gonna work out.
- You can't do that.
1073
00:58:29,142 --> 00:58:30,939
You can't live trying to avoid pain...
1074
00:58:31,227 --> 00:58:32,945
...at the expense...
- Those are words.
1075
00:58:33,188 --> 00:58:34,587
I've gotta get away from you.
1076
00:58:34,856 --> 00:58:36,892
- Stop the car, I wanna get out.
- No, don't...
1077
00:58:37,192 --> 00:58:38,989
- Keep talking.
- It's being around you.
1078
00:58:39,235 --> 00:58:41,510
Don't touch me, you know.
I want to get on a cab.
1079
00:58:44,324 --> 00:58:46,633
No, don't. No, no, keep going.
1080
00:58:46,910 --> 00:58:50,346
Listen, I'm just so happy...
Thank you, just keep going.
1081
00:58:50,663 --> 00:58:52,301
All right.
1082
00:58:53,708 --> 00:58:57,303
Look, I'm just so happy,
all right, to be with you.
1083
00:58:57,629 --> 00:59:00,860
I am. I'm so glad you didn't
forget about me, okay?
1084
00:59:01,174 --> 00:59:03,768
No, I didn't.
And it pisses me off, okay?
1085
00:59:04,094 --> 00:59:07,609
You come here to Paris,
all romantic, and married.
1086
00:59:07,931 --> 00:59:09,330
Okay? Screw you.
1087
00:59:10,225 --> 00:59:12,500
Don't get me wrong,
I'm not trying to get you.
1088
00:59:12,769 --> 00:59:15,124
I mean, all I need is a married man.
1089
00:59:15,855 --> 00:59:19,052
There's been so much water under
the bridge, it's not even about you.
1090
00:59:19,359 --> 00:59:21,714
It's about that moment in time
that's forever gone.
1091
00:59:22,028 --> 00:59:24,826
You say that, but you didn't
even remember having sex, so...
1092
00:59:25,115 --> 00:59:27,868
Of course I remembered.
1093
00:59:29,119 --> 00:59:31,428
- You did?
- Yes.
1094
00:59:31,705 --> 00:59:34,936
- Women pretend things like that.
- They do?
1095
00:59:35,291 --> 00:59:39,079
What was I supposed to say?
That I remember the wine in the park...
1096
00:59:39,421 --> 00:59:42,777
...and us looking up at the stars fading
away as the sun came up?
1097
00:59:43,091 --> 00:59:46,322
We had sex twice, you idiot!
1098
00:59:47,846 --> 00:59:51,475
All right, you know what,
I'm just happy to see you.
1099
00:59:51,850 --> 00:59:55,126
Even if you've become an angry,
manic-depressive activist...
1100
00:59:55,437 --> 00:59:58,793
...I still like you,
I still enjoy being around you.
1101
00:59:59,607 --> 01:00:03,805
And I feel the same. I'm sorry.
I don't know what happened, I just...
1102
01:00:04,154 --> 01:00:06,509
- I had to let it all out.
- Don't worry about it.
1103
01:00:06,781 --> 01:00:09,295
I'm so miserable in my love life,
in my relationship.
1104
01:00:09,576 --> 01:00:12,613
I always act as...
Like, you know, I'm detached.
1105
01:00:12,912 --> 01:00:15,949
But I'm dying inside.
I'm dying because I'm so numb.
1106
01:00:16,249 --> 01:00:19,844
I don't feel pain or excitement,
I'm not even bitter, I'm just...
1107
01:00:20,170 --> 01:00:22,730
You think you're the one
dying inside?
1108
01:00:23,006 --> 01:00:27,045
My life is 24/7 bad.
1109
01:00:27,385 --> 01:00:28,659
- I'm sorry.
- No, no.
1110
01:00:28,887 --> 01:00:31,685
I mean, the only happiness I get
is when I'm out with my son.
1111
01:00:31,973 --> 01:00:33,565
I've been to marriage counseling...
1112
01:00:33,808 --> 01:00:36,322
...I've done things I never thought
I would have to do.
1113
01:00:36,603 --> 01:00:39,436
I've lit candles,
bought self-help books, lingerie.
1114
01:00:39,731 --> 01:00:42,006
- Did the candles help?
- Hell, no.
1115
01:00:42,275 --> 01:00:44,664
I don't love her the way
she needs to be loved...
1116
01:00:44,944 --> 01:00:49,222
...and I don't even see a future for us,
but then I look at my little boy...
1117
01:00:49,574 --> 01:00:52,805
...sitting across from me,
and I think I'd suffer any torture...
1118
01:00:53,119 --> 01:00:55,394
...to be with him for
all the minutes of his life.
1119
01:00:55,663 --> 01:00:57,460
I don't want to miss out on one.
1120
01:00:57,707 --> 01:01:01,859
But then, there's no joy or laughter
in my home, you know?
1121
01:01:02,212 --> 01:01:05,761
- I don't want him growing up in that.
- No laughter? That's terrible.
1122
01:01:06,091 --> 01:01:07,922
My parents have been
together 35 years...
1123
01:01:08,176 --> 01:01:10,406
...and even when they fight
they end up laughing.
1124
01:01:10,678 --> 01:01:14,307
I don't want to be one of those people
who are getting divorced at 52...
1125
01:01:14,641 --> 01:01:18,873
...and falling down into tears, admitting
they never really loved their spouse...
1126
01:01:19,229 --> 01:01:24,064
...and they feel their life has been
sucked up into a vacuum cleaner.
1127
01:01:24,484 --> 01:01:27,920
You know, I want a great life.
I want her to have a great life...
1128
01:01:28,279 --> 01:01:30,349
...she deserves that.
1129
01:01:30,657 --> 01:01:33,854
But we're just living in the pretense
of a marriage, responsibility...
1130
01:01:34,160 --> 01:01:37,994
...you know, all these ideas
of how people are supposed to live.
1131
01:01:39,874 --> 01:01:43,583
But then I... I have these dreams...
1132
01:01:45,255 --> 01:01:46,574
What dreams?
1133
01:01:46,798 --> 01:01:50,154
I have these dreams,
you know, that...
1134
01:01:50,760 --> 01:01:52,671
...I'm standing on a platform...
1135
01:01:54,055 --> 01:01:57,047
...and you keep going by on a train...
1136
01:01:57,350 --> 01:02:01,582
...and you go by, and you go by,
and you go by, you go by.
1137
01:02:01,938 --> 01:02:03,735
And I wake up with
the fucking sweats.
1138
01:02:03,982 --> 01:02:06,177
And then I have this other dream...
1139
01:02:06,484 --> 01:02:10,159
...where you're pregnant in bed
beside me naked...
1140
01:02:10,530 --> 01:02:14,159
...and I want so badly to touch you, but
you tell me not to and you look away.
1141
01:02:14,492 --> 01:02:18,804
And I... And I touch you anyway...
1142
01:02:19,164 --> 01:02:23,442
...right on your ankle, and your skin is
so soft that I wake up in sobs, all right?
1143
01:02:24,377 --> 01:02:27,687
My wife is there looking at me,
and I feel I'm a million miles from her.
1144
01:02:28,006 --> 01:02:31,885
And I know that there's
something wrong, that I...
1145
01:02:32,218 --> 01:02:34,129
God, that I can't keep living like this...
1146
01:02:34,387 --> 01:02:36,821
...that there's gotta be more to love
than commitment.
1147
01:02:37,140 --> 01:02:39,813
But then I think that
I might have given up...
1148
01:02:40,101 --> 01:02:41,932
...on the whole idea of romantic love.
1149
01:02:42,187 --> 01:02:45,338
That I might have put it
to bed that...
1150
01:02:45,648 --> 01:02:48,287
That day when you weren't there.
1151
01:02:48,568 --> 01:02:51,207
You know, I think I might
have done that.
1152
01:02:52,572 --> 01:02:54,688
Why are you telling me all this?
1153
01:02:55,658 --> 01:02:59,697
I'm sorry. I don't know.
I'm... I should...
1154
01:03:01,039 --> 01:03:02,916
I shouldn't have.
1155
01:03:03,166 --> 01:03:04,679
You know, it's so weird.
1156
01:03:04,918 --> 01:03:08,797
People think they are the only one
going through tough times.
1157
01:03:09,172 --> 01:03:13,290
I mean, when I read the article,
I thought your life was perfect.
1158
01:03:13,760 --> 01:03:17,514
A wife, a kid, published author.
1159
01:03:18,306 --> 01:03:21,537
But your personal life
is more of a mess than mine.
1160
01:03:21,851 --> 01:03:24,081
I'm sorry.
1161
01:03:24,354 --> 01:03:27,346
Well, I'm glad it's good for something.
1162
01:03:30,193 --> 01:03:33,310
- This is where you live?
- Yeah.
1163
01:03:34,364 --> 01:03:38,357
So you're just relieved that I'm
in even more deep shit than you are?
1164
01:03:38,702 --> 01:03:40,499
Yes, you've made me feel better.
1165
01:03:40,745 --> 01:03:42,815
Oh, good, I'm glad.
1166
01:03:43,081 --> 01:03:45,436
No, I really wish you the best.
1167
01:03:45,709 --> 01:03:49,224
It's not because I'm incapable of having
a good relationship or a family...
1168
01:03:49,546 --> 01:03:51,582
...that I wish everyone to be
doomed like me.
1169
01:03:51,840 --> 01:03:54,115
I'm sure you'd make... Be
a great mom someday.
1170
01:03:54,384 --> 01:03:55,817
- Really? You think so?
- Yeah...
1171
01:03:56,052 --> 01:03:59,044
...a few antidepressants, you know,
you'll do great.
1172
01:03:59,973 --> 01:04:02,692
- Okay, say stop.
- Stop.
1173
01:04:03,268 --> 01:04:05,862
- Okay.
- You ready? Okay.
1174
01:04:16,114 --> 01:04:20,153
- So I want to try something.
- What?
1175
01:04:22,787 --> 01:04:26,939
I want to see if you stay together
or if you dissolve into molecules.
1176
01:04:28,168 --> 01:04:30,045
How am I doing?
1177
01:04:30,295 --> 01:04:32,126
Still here.
1178
01:04:32,380 --> 01:04:34,450
Good. I like being here.
1179
01:04:38,428 --> 01:04:39,941
Is this your apartment?
1180
01:04:40,180 --> 01:04:41,818
No, I live down there.
1181
01:04:42,057 --> 01:04:44,207
- Down there?
- Yeah.
1182
01:04:44,476 --> 01:04:46,865
Monsieur, I'm gonna walk her
to her door.
1183
01:04:56,029 --> 01:04:57,303
This is incredible.
1184
01:04:57,530 --> 01:05:00,124
- This is where you live?
- Yeah.
1185
01:05:00,408 --> 01:05:03,480
- How long have you been here?
- Four years.
1186
01:05:05,163 --> 01:05:07,233
- So tell me...
- What?
1187
01:05:07,499 --> 01:05:09,091
Is it all true about your dreams...
1188
01:05:09,334 --> 01:05:11,973
...or did you say that to hopefully
get in my pants?
1189
01:05:12,253 --> 01:05:13,766
I said that to get in your pants.
1190
01:05:14,005 --> 01:05:16,394
- I use that all the time.
- Oh, okay. Does it work?
1191
01:05:16,716 --> 01:05:19,469
You know. Sometimes.
1192
01:05:20,762 --> 01:05:24,118
Here's my kitty. Oh, so cute.
Look at him.
1193
01:05:24,432 --> 01:05:26,184
You know what I love
about this cat?
1194
01:05:26,434 --> 01:05:28,629
Every morning I bring him
to the courtyard...
1195
01:05:28,937 --> 01:05:33,453
...and every single morning he looks
at everything like it was the first time.
1196
01:05:33,817 --> 01:05:37,730
Every corner, every tree, every plant.
1197
01:05:38,071 --> 01:05:40,426
Smells everything
with his little cute nose.
1198
01:05:40,699 --> 01:05:44,612
Oh, I love my kitty. I love my kitty.
1199
01:05:46,037 --> 01:05:47,834
- What's his name?
- Che.
1200
01:05:48,581 --> 01:05:50,378
Che?
1201
01:05:52,127 --> 01:05:54,436
- What?
- Commie.
1202
01:05:56,005 --> 01:05:58,883
No, "che" in Argentina means "hey. "
1203
01:05:59,175 --> 01:06:01,484
- Okay.
- Yes.
1204
01:06:01,761 --> 01:06:05,356
Oh, baby. Oh, yes, yes, yes.
1205
01:06:08,852 --> 01:06:12,527
We're having a little party.
It's so much fun.
1206
01:06:22,866 --> 01:06:24,618
- So...
- So.
1207
01:06:40,884 --> 01:06:45,162
You know what? I was thinking,
would you play me one of your songs?
1208
01:06:45,513 --> 01:06:47,583
- You're gonna miss your flight.
- I won't.
1209
01:06:47,849 --> 01:06:50,647
I'm gonna be in the airport for
over an hour, reading...
1210
01:06:50,935 --> 01:06:53,733
...wishing you'd played me
one of your songs.
1211
01:06:54,064 --> 01:06:56,180
One song? Okay, but quickly.
1212
01:06:56,441 --> 01:06:58,159
Okay.
1213
01:07:03,573 --> 01:07:06,645
God, I love these old staircases.
1214
01:07:45,073 --> 01:07:47,268
- Hold this.
- What, for me?
1215
01:07:47,534 --> 01:07:49,490
Hey there, buddy.
1216
01:07:50,662 --> 01:07:52,653
Che.
1217
01:08:04,217 --> 01:08:07,846
- Would you like some tea?
- Yeah, sure.
1218
01:08:08,513 --> 01:08:10,071
Wow.
1219
01:08:11,141 --> 01:08:14,497
- Is chamomile okay?
- Yeah. Great.
1220
01:08:14,811 --> 01:08:16,961
- Merci.
- Messy?
1221
01:08:17,230 --> 01:08:20,825
- You think my apartment is messy?
- No, no. Merci.
1222
01:08:21,151 --> 01:08:24,541
- Merci beaucoup.
- Ah, merci.
1223
01:08:24,863 --> 01:08:28,458
I meant to tell you,
your French has improved a lot.
1224
01:08:28,783 --> 01:08:30,057
- Really?
- Yeah.
1225
01:08:30,285 --> 01:08:32,753
Yeah, you've really
mastered the language.
1226
01:08:33,663 --> 01:08:36,655
All right, all right, what song
are you gonna play me?
1227
01:08:39,002 --> 01:08:41,800
No, I can't. It's too embarrassing.
It's been...
1228
01:08:42,088 --> 01:08:45,637
Whoa. No way. No way. I came up here,
you cannot crap out on me now.
1229
01:08:45,967 --> 01:08:47,923
One song. Anything will be great.
1230
01:08:48,219 --> 01:08:49,937
But listen, you're gonna laugh at me.
1231
01:08:50,180 --> 01:08:51,613
- You think so?
- Yes.
1232
01:08:51,890 --> 01:08:53,801
I doubt it.
1233
01:08:56,644 --> 01:08:57,997
Okay.
1234
01:08:58,229 --> 01:09:00,504
What do you want to hear? I have...
1235
01:09:00,774 --> 01:09:03,004
I have three songs in English.
1236
01:09:03,276 --> 01:09:04,595
One's about my cat...
1237
01:09:04,819 --> 01:09:08,732
...one's about my ex-boyfriend...
Well, ex-ex-boyfriend...
1238
01:09:09,074 --> 01:09:11,463
...and there's one about...
1239
01:09:11,951 --> 01:09:15,182
Well, it's just a little waltz.
1240
01:09:15,497 --> 01:09:17,533
A waltz? Yeah.
1241
01:09:17,832 --> 01:09:19,868
- Play the waltz.
- Right.
1242
01:09:20,168 --> 01:09:22,477
I haven't played it in a while.
You sure?
1243
01:09:25,924 --> 01:09:27,403
Okay.
1244
01:09:28,218 --> 01:09:30,413
All right, the waltz.
1245
01:09:42,732 --> 01:09:47,044
Let me sing you a waltz
1246
01:09:47,404 --> 01:09:51,955
Out of nowhere, out of my thoughts
1247
01:09:52,325 --> 01:09:56,682
Let me sing you a waltz
1248
01:09:57,038 --> 01:10:00,747
About this one-night stand
1249
01:10:02,001 --> 01:10:07,473
You were, for me, that night
1250
01:10:07,882 --> 01:10:13,559
Everything I always dreamt of in life
1251
01:10:13,972 --> 01:10:17,362
But now you're gone
1252
01:10:17,684 --> 01:10:21,757
You are far-gone
1253
01:10:22,939 --> 01:10:27,410
All the way to your island of rain
1254
01:10:27,777 --> 01:10:33,409
It was, for you, just a one-night thing
1255
01:10:33,825 --> 01:10:36,658
But you were much more to me
1256
01:10:36,995 --> 01:10:39,589
Just so you know
1257
01:10:40,749 --> 01:10:43,627
I don't care what they say
1258
01:10:43,918 --> 01:10:48,673
I know what you meant
For me that day
1259
01:10:49,049 --> 01:10:53,679
I just want another try
1260
01:10:54,054 --> 01:10:58,844
I just want another night
1261
01:11:00,310 --> 01:11:06,021
Even if it doesn't seem quite right
1262
01:11:06,483 --> 01:11:10,317
You meant, for me, much more
1263
01:11:10,653 --> 01:11:14,805
Than anyone I've met before
1264
01:11:15,158 --> 01:11:21,233
One single night with you, little Jesse
1265
01:11:21,664 --> 01:11:26,579
Is worth a thousand with anybody
1266
01:11:27,837 --> 01:11:31,068
I have no bitterness, my sweet
1267
01:11:31,549 --> 01:11:36,418
I'll never forget this one-night thing
1268
01:11:36,805 --> 01:11:42,675
Even tomorrow, in other arms
1269
01:11:43,103 --> 01:11:48,894
My heart will stay yours until I die
1270
01:11:53,321 --> 01:11:57,917
Let me sing you a waltz
1271
01:11:58,284 --> 01:12:03,119
Out of nowhere, out of my blues
1272
01:12:03,498 --> 01:12:08,253
Let me sing you a waltz
1273
01:12:08,628 --> 01:12:13,622
About this lovely one-night stand
1274
01:12:30,942 --> 01:12:34,412
- No, one more! Please, please.
- No! It was our deal.
1275
01:12:34,779 --> 01:12:37,134
One... One song. No, no, no.
1276
01:12:37,449 --> 01:12:39,883
You can have your tea and then...
1277
01:12:45,415 --> 01:12:47,690
- All right, let me ask you one question.
- What?
1278
01:12:47,959 --> 01:12:51,110
Do you just plug that name in
for every guy that comes up here?
1279
01:12:51,838 --> 01:12:53,112
Yes, of course.
1280
01:12:53,339 --> 01:12:57,252
What do you think, that I wrote
the song about you? Are you nuts?
1281
01:13:01,806 --> 01:13:04,081
Is this you? Little cross-eyed Celine?
1282
01:13:04,350 --> 01:13:06,818
- Yes. That's funny.
- Cute.
1283
01:13:08,313 --> 01:13:11,589
- Is that your grandmother?
- Yeah.
1284
01:13:13,485 --> 01:13:15,476
Oh, wow.
1285
01:13:15,945 --> 01:13:18,903
- You want some honey?
- Yeah, sure.
1286
01:14:08,707 --> 01:14:10,937
Did you ever see Nina Simone
in concert?
1287
01:14:11,209 --> 01:14:13,643
No, I never did.
I can't believe she's gone.
1288
01:14:14,087 --> 01:14:15,520
I know, it's so sad.
1289
01:14:16,715 --> 01:14:18,114
Thanks.
1290
01:14:18,341 --> 01:14:20,252
It's hot.
1291
01:14:22,429 --> 01:14:25,148
I saw her twice in concert.
1292
01:14:25,890 --> 01:14:28,085
She was so great.
1293
01:14:28,393 --> 01:14:31,271
That's one of my favorite songs of hers.
1294
01:14:47,245 --> 01:14:48,519
She was so great.
1295
01:14:50,498 --> 01:14:52,693
She was so funny in concert too.
1296
01:14:52,959 --> 01:14:56,952
She would... She would be
right in the middle of a song and then...
1297
01:14:57,297 --> 01:14:59,094
...you know, stop...
1298
01:14:59,340 --> 01:15:03,253
...and walk from the piano all the way
to the edge of the stage.
1299
01:15:03,595 --> 01:15:05,825
Like, really slowly.
1300
01:15:08,892 --> 01:15:12,043
And she'd start talking to someone
in the audience.
1301
01:15:12,354 --> 01:15:15,585
"Oh, yeah, baby. Oh, yeah.
1302
01:15:16,483 --> 01:15:18,633
I love you too. "
1303
01:15:19,152 --> 01:15:23,430
And then she'd walk back.
Take her time, no hurry, you know.
1304
01:15:23,782 --> 01:15:27,138
She had that big, cute ass.
1305
01:15:27,452 --> 01:15:28,931
She would move.
1306
01:15:30,705 --> 01:15:35,335
And then she would go back to the piano
and play some more, you know.
1307
01:15:37,045 --> 01:15:38,637
And then she would, I don't know...
1308
01:15:38,880 --> 01:15:41,269
...just start another song
in the middle of another.
1309
01:15:41,549 --> 01:15:45,178
You know, like,
stop again, and be like:
1310
01:15:45,512 --> 01:15:49,346
"You over there,
can you move that fan.
1311
01:15:50,433 --> 01:15:52,469
You're cute.
1312
01:16:13,581 --> 01:16:15,492
Oh, yeah. "
1313
01:16:19,129 --> 01:16:23,247
Baby, you are gonna miss that plane.
1314
01:16:24,718 --> 01:16:26,549
I know.
1315
01:16:26,850 --> 01:16:46,850
Resync By
^^Lututkanan@subscene^^