1 00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:11,405 Happy Halloween, everyone! Oh, that's great. 2 00:00:11,479 --> 00:00:13,743 Hey. Happy Halloween. 3 00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:16,047 Jan called. 4 00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:18,708 Okay. 5 00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:22,914 I know why she's calling. 6 00:00:23,491 --> 00:00:24,651 It's the end of the month, 7 00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:28,559 and I was supposed to let somebody go by the end of the month. 8 00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:33,188 And somehow I'm supposed to put on a costume and smile. 9 00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:36,735 Okay. Jan Levinson's office. 10 00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:39,136 Hey, Sherry, Michael Scott returning. 11 00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:40,833 Oh, she's in a meeting. 12 00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:43,570 She just wanted the name of the employee you let go. 13 00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:45,441 Well, I'm gonna wait until the end of the day, 14 00:00:45,513 --> 00:00:48,004 because the book said it's best to wait until the end of the day. 15 00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:50,346 I just need the name of who you're planning to let go. 16 00:00:50,418 --> 00:00:54,821 I don't know yet. I will have to call her back. 17 00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:58,217 I know she wanted the name. 18 00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:00,617 Okay, Sherry? Yeah. 19 00:01:00,961 --> 00:01:05,057 If you were getting fired, how would you wanna be told 20 00:01:05,132 --> 00:01:09,000 so that you could still be friends with the person firing you? 21 00:01:10,204 --> 00:01:12,502 Jan wants the name as soon as possible, Michael. 22 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:14,905 Thanks. I'll call her back. 23 00:01:16,811 --> 00:01:18,938 I wish I could fire Sherry. 24 00:01:19,914 --> 00:01:22,109 Hey, I'm still here. Okay. I'm sorry. 25 00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:23,377 Yeah. No. 26 00:01:23,451 --> 00:01:24,611 Okay. Bye. 27 00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:26,209 Hanging up now. 28 00:02:02,256 --> 00:02:05,885 I mean, you hear about layoffs in the news, 29 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:10,363 but when you actually have to do it yourself, it is heavy stuff. It's... 30 00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:13,900 I mean, these are people's lives you're talking about. 31 00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:16,098 You wanted me? Yes. 32 00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:26,336 Papier-mache? Yes. Yes. 33 00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:28,837 Um... 34 00:02:29,216 --> 00:02:31,810 Pam, I have to let somebody go today. 35 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:35,247 This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. 36 00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:37,222 Why did you put it off until Halloween? 37 00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:39,725 Because it's very scary stuff. 38 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,224 I think it's gonna put a damper on the party a little. 39 00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:45,129 You're worried about the party? There's a man's life at stake here. 40 00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:46,928 So it's a man? No. 41 00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:49,826 Or woman. A human life. 42 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,870 If you had to guess who it would be 43 00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:56,103 based on their job performance 44 00:02:56,177 --> 00:02:59,806 and who you think deserves to be fired, who would that be? 45 00:03:00,181 --> 00:03:02,149 I just answer the phone. 46 00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:05,909 And sometimes you just let it go to voicemail. 47 00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:14,920 Your costume is fantastic. 48 00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:19,931 I know. I sent away for it in July from a catalog. 49 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,965 Oh, no. Don't, don't, don't, don't. 50 00:03:26,473 --> 00:03:27,599 Okay. 51 00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:31,639 Oh, man. Okay, I have to fire somebody. 52 00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:39,117 What is that? What are you supposed to be? 53 00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:42,516 I'm the three-hole punch version of Jim, 54 00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:46,151 'cause you can have me either way, plain white Jim or three-hole punch. 55 00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:48,752 That's great. I like it. Oh? Yeah. 56 00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:51,127 Yeah, well, look. What about me? 57 00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:52,763 What are... 58 00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:56,062 What are you? A monk? 59 00:03:58,105 --> 00:03:59,697 I'm a Sith lord. 60 00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:03,409 Oh, big deal. 61 00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:06,670 Three round pieces of paper taped to a shirt. 62 00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:09,405 This cost me $129. 63 00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:11,377 Ass. 64 00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:18,180 Hey, you guys excited about the party? 65 00:04:18,259 --> 00:04:19,851 It's gonna be fun. 66 00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,019 Yeah. Yes. 67 00:04:21,095 --> 00:04:24,724 Oh, and look at you. Showing your colors. 68 00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:27,966 Don't you wish you wore a dress every day. What are you implying? 69 00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:30,435 All good. Happy Halloween. 70 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:33,664 What happened to all of those spooky decorations that we had, 71 00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:35,299 the cobwebs and such? 72 00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:38,209 Yeah, I don't know. We put them all up last night. 73 00:04:42,283 --> 00:04:45,548 Well, you know what? Go buy some more. I'll approve the overages. 74 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:46,779 Sound good? Yeah. 75 00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:47,946 Good. 76 00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:51,524 Oh, yeah, also, about budget stuff... 77 00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:52,849 Um... 78 00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:56,726 I'm gonna need you to find, like, a full employee salary plus benefits. 79 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,321 Like 50 grand. 80 00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:01,590 I'm gonna need you to find 50 grand in the numbers. 81 00:05:01,669 --> 00:05:03,432 But we don't keep two sets of books. 82 00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:05,904 Well, that's not what I'm saying. Just, you know, find it. 83 00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:08,407 Pretend that your jobs depend on it. 84 00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:19,477 Interesting take on Dorothy. I love it. 85 00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:23,114 Hey, you know what would even be better? A soccer ball and cleats. 86 00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:25,784 Why is that? Bend It Like Beckham. 87 00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:29,189 Oh, like the movie about the Indian girl who plays soccer? 88 00:05:29,263 --> 00:05:31,697 Yeah, that would be perfect. 89 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,768 Yeah, I mean, I guess I could do that. 90 00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,963 It'd be funny. I don't really play soccer or anything. 91 00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:40,734 Well, I don't really have two heads. So... 92 00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:44,869 Wait, what are you again? Oh, right. Three-hole punch! 93 00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:51,747 Okay, greatest strength. Okay, okay. 94 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,484 A dog-like obedience to authority. Nice. 95 00:05:56,423 --> 00:05:58,789 But that doesn't sound good. Okay, okay. 96 00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:01,984 How about the ultimate team player? 97 00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:04,821 Dwight is special. 98 00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:09,191 But I don't believe that his talents are being used in this office. 99 00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:11,635 So Pam and I have put his resume 100 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:14,731 on Monster. Com, Google, Craig's List. 101 00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:19,306 We're really interested most in jobs that take Dwight out of state. 102 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:22,407 Preferably Alaska or India. 103 00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:24,207 He's a gun nut. 104 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,482 Sticks to his guns. 105 00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:30,649 Well, I looked through all the budgets 106 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,351 and there is one department... Yes. 107 00:06:32,426 --> 00:06:34,155 ...that has three people... Yeah. 108 00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:36,492 ...doing the work that could be done by two. 109 00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:38,053 This is great. 110 00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:41,490 Oh. 111 00:06:42,369 --> 00:06:43,461 Yeah. 112 00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:45,761 Oh. 113 00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:48,366 Who do you think it should be? Jim, definitely. 114 00:06:48,442 --> 00:06:49,875 No, Jim brings in money. 115 00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:51,570 Phyllis? No. 116 00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:55,274 Stanley, Pam, Oscar, Meredith, 117 00:06:55,983 --> 00:06:57,974 Kevin, Angela. 118 00:06:58,051 --> 00:06:59,746 It's not a popularity contest. 119 00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:03,051 Although it does make sense to fire the least popular 120 00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:06,058 because that has the least effect on morale. 121 00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:09,052 One of the warehouse guys. 122 00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:10,822 What? 123 00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:15,699 There is someone left off that list? Who? Who is he saying? 124 00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:19,935 You're right. I didn't even think of him. 125 00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:21,539 No, Michael. 126 00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,667 Yeah, that's actually a really good idea. No. 127 00:07:23,744 --> 00:07:26,645 No. Not me. Yeah, I could. 128 00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:29,705 Not Dwight. I'm not saying that's what he said. 129 00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,546 I know that's what he said. 130 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:32,710 What? 131 00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:35,451 Tell him not Dwight. 132 00:07:35,522 --> 00:07:37,717 That is not a very nice thing to say about him. 133 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:38,883 Tell him to stop. 134 00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,654 Are you kidding? Quiet, you! 135 00:07:40,727 --> 00:07:42,592 I agree. He'd land on his feet. 136 00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:43,857 Make him be quiet. 137 00:07:47,434 --> 00:07:50,631 Those aren't chips and dip. No, I made brownies. 138 00:07:53,207 --> 00:07:54,299 What? 139 00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:58,105 I'm just trying to figure out why you're sabotaging things. 140 00:07:58,612 --> 00:08:02,480 I made brownies. And I made cookies. Same category. 141 00:08:05,452 --> 00:08:08,785 I'm guessing Angela's the one in the neighborhood 142 00:08:08,856 --> 00:08:12,917 who gives the trick-or-treaters some toothbrushes, 143 00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:15,522 pennies, 144 00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:18,059 walnuts... 145 00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:19,962 Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. 146 00:08:21,768 --> 00:08:22,860 Yeah. 147 00:08:24,238 --> 00:08:28,368 Just one second. I will transfer you to our manager, Michael Scott. 148 00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:32,136 Wow. 149 00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,577 Michael Scott here. 150 00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:40,553 Yes, I am regional manager of this orifice. 151 00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:42,347 Hmm-hmm. 152 00:08:43,357 --> 00:08:46,326 Dwight Schrute is amazing. 153 00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:48,151 Yeah. 154 00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:52,392 No, he is actually the single greatest employee of his generation. 155 00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:54,356 Hmm-hmm. 156 00:08:54,568 --> 00:08:56,092 You know what? I'm gonna tell you what. 157 00:08:56,169 --> 00:09:00,162 You hire Dwight K. Schrute and he does not meet, 158 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:04,939 nay, exceed every one of your wildest expectations, 159 00:09:05,012 --> 00:09:09,676 well, then, you can hold me, Michael Gary Scott 160 00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,716 personally and financially responsible. 161 00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:15,983 Okay. Okay. Okay. 162 00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:17,816 Okay. 163 00:09:24,298 --> 00:09:27,233 Stanley, could you come with me, please? No. 164 00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:32,804 As Assistant Regional Manager... To the? 165 00:09:32,873 --> 00:09:35,535 Look, I've got some bad news. 166 00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:39,373 You're fired. You need to pack up your things and go. 167 00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:43,643 I'm serious, Stanley. It's over. I'm sorry. 168 00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:45,241 "You're fired. " 169 00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:48,083 Get your fingers off my phone. 170 00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:57,261 So, how did it go with Stanley? How did he take it? 171 00:09:57,331 --> 00:09:59,390 He wouldn't listen to me. Oh, come on. 172 00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:01,798 If you wanna fire him, you're gonna have to tell him yourself. 173 00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:03,893 I don't wanna fire Stanley. I never said that. 174 00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:06,735 I'm certainly not going to do it myself. 175 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:10,137 Get those big baleful eyes staring at me. 176 00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:13,236 Yikes. Just... Okay, just... 177 00:10:14,881 --> 00:10:16,508 Cumberland Mills? 178 00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:20,215 And how did you get my resume? 179 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:23,320 Oh, no, no. I'm very flattered. Don't get me wrong. 180 00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:26,655 I'm just not sure that it's my official resume 181 00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:29,025 or if it's something that maybe 182 00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:32,121 a satisfied customer posted online. 183 00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:36,525 What does it say under martial arts training? 184 00:10:37,571 --> 00:10:40,039 Oh, okay, I'm gonna have to supplement that. 185 00:10:40,107 --> 00:10:42,337 Could I have your fax number? 186 00:10:42,509 --> 00:10:46,309 Would I ever leave this company? Look, I'm all about loyalty. 187 00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:50,572 In fact, I feel like part of what I'm getting paid for here is my loyalty. 188 00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:55,111 But if there were somewhere else that valued that loyalty more highly, 189 00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:59,025 I'm going wherever they value loyalty the most. 190 00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:03,323 Oh, hey. 191 00:11:04,398 --> 00:11:07,765 Oh, your dress is stuck in the back. Gotta just... 192 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:08,823 Oh. 193 00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:14,301 So you got the fax. 194 00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:16,672 So why didn't you add it to the resume? 195 00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:19,678 What do you mean? Of course, martial arts training is relevant. 196 00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:20,872 Oh, excuse me, 197 00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:24,007 I know about a billion Asians that would beg to differ. 198 00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:28,345 Yeah, I get a little frustrated when I'm dealing with incompetence! 199 00:11:28,422 --> 00:11:30,151 Well, you know what? You can go to hell, too, 200 00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:32,487 and I will see you there burning. 201 00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:36,723 Fine. Oh, wait, so you'll let me know when you've made a decision... 202 00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,934 Jim is really talented. 203 00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:46,906 And he should be the one who's getting a better job offer. 204 00:11:46,973 --> 00:11:48,463 Like, for real. 205 00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:53,172 Don't take this the wrong way, but you should go for that job. 206 00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:57,476 Um... 207 00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:01,383 It's in Maryland. Yeah. 208 00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:03,753 But, I mean, look at the salary, 209 00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:08,193 and it's definitely a step up and a challenge. 210 00:12:10,597 --> 00:12:11,689 Yeah. 211 00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:17,063 Yeah. You know what, maybe... 212 00:12:18,672 --> 00:12:20,139 Maybe I will. 213 00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:24,537 Jim. 214 00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:28,947 This is called leveraging an offer. 215 00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:33,783 Michael, can I talk to you for a moment? Oh, God. 216 00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:38,086 I just thought you should know that I was just offered a job 217 00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:40,490 with better pay, better benefits, 218 00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:43,552 and a better title at Cumberland Mills. 219 00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:45,689 Fantastic. And I turned it down. 220 00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:48,166 What? That would have solved all my problems. 221 00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:52,331 Out of loyalty to this company. Oh, you idiot. Go. 222 00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:55,431 So I was hoping to be made Assistant Regional Manager officially. 223 00:12:55,509 --> 00:12:58,103 If you left, I wouldn't have to fire anybody. 224 00:12:58,178 --> 00:13:00,339 But then you wouldn't have me here. Big deal. 225 00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:03,382 Oh, it would have worked out so well. Can you get it back? 226 00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:05,543 It's in Maryland. You could call. Can you call them? 227 00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:08,349 I can't... I suppose I... No. 228 00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:11,347 They never really made me an offer anyway. 229 00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:14,460 Why are you torturing me? God. 230 00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:21,561 Honestly, I don't think Michael has the slightest clue of who he's gonna fire. 231 00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:24,536 I think he keeps hoping that someone's gonna volunteer, 232 00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:27,539 or be run over by a bus before the deadline. 233 00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:30,272 But in the end, really, what's gonna happen is 234 00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:33,938 it's gonna be the first person to give him a dirty look in the hall. 235 00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:36,949 And therein lies the true essence of his charisma. 236 00:13:38,752 --> 00:13:42,188 Can I speak to you a minute? Yes. 237 00:14:07,031 --> 00:14:10,023 Michael, I really didn't mean to... Help me. 238 00:14:10,968 --> 00:14:14,062 I'm sorry? I want you to role-play firing me. 239 00:14:14,138 --> 00:14:16,629 I want you to fire me, and I will take it. 240 00:14:17,341 --> 00:14:18,774 Oh, you want me to be you. Yes. 241 00:14:18,843 --> 00:14:20,834 Okay. I want you to be me and I will be Creed. 242 00:14:20,911 --> 00:14:22,902 Oh, are you firing Creed? No, no, no. 243 00:14:22,980 --> 00:14:26,472 That's just first thing... Came... Can't... That head... 244 00:14:26,550 --> 00:14:29,917 We should switch seats in order to... Yes, that's a good idea. 245 00:14:29,987 --> 00:14:31,318 All right? 246 00:14:32,256 --> 00:14:33,587 Excuse me. 247 00:14:38,562 --> 00:14:40,860 I'm really sorry, but I have to let you go. 248 00:14:40,931 --> 00:14:44,423 And it's purely budgetary. It's not personal... 249 00:14:45,803 --> 00:14:48,738 I'm gonna kill myself! Wow. 250 00:14:48,806 --> 00:14:51,639 I'm going to kill myself and it's your fault! 251 00:14:51,709 --> 00:14:53,301 That's an overreaction. 252 00:14:53,377 --> 00:14:55,868 Corporate is really breathing down my neck 253 00:14:55,946 --> 00:14:58,506 and they're saying this has to be done by the end of the month... 254 00:14:58,582 --> 00:15:00,880 Is this you? Are you being you? Or is this Creed? 255 00:15:00,951 --> 00:15:02,680 Are you... I am... 256 00:15:03,821 --> 00:15:05,686 This is Creed. Okay. 257 00:15:05,756 --> 00:15:08,589 I'm improvising. So just try to keep up. 258 00:15:08,659 --> 00:15:10,183 And I'm very angry. Hold that thought. 259 00:15:10,261 --> 00:15:12,320 And I want... I'm gonna kill you. Michael Scott here. 260 00:15:12,396 --> 00:15:14,523 I'm gonna kill you for firing me. Toby. 261 00:15:14,598 --> 00:15:15,690 I really have to take this, Creed, 262 00:15:15,766 --> 00:15:17,734 so it was really a pleasure working with you, okay? 263 00:15:17,802 --> 00:15:20,498 Get off. Get off. No, no. Just get up. 264 00:15:25,476 --> 00:15:27,205 Just, just... Yeah. 265 00:15:29,980 --> 00:15:32,540 What happened? It wasn't me. 266 00:15:32,616 --> 00:15:36,609 Oh, that was, like, crazy, because I was... Yeah, I know. 267 00:15:45,830 --> 00:15:47,195 Hey, Creed? 268 00:15:48,532 --> 00:15:50,932 Could I talk to you for a second? 269 00:15:55,106 --> 00:15:59,008 You are great and very ambitious, 270 00:16:00,111 --> 00:16:03,672 and I feel like you want more than this little office has to offer. 271 00:16:03,747 --> 00:16:06,978 And I understand that you'd want to just spread your wings 272 00:16:07,251 --> 00:16:10,152 and fly the coop. What are you telling me? 273 00:16:10,221 --> 00:16:13,918 We're gonna have to... You want something better. 274 00:16:13,991 --> 00:16:16,391 No, I don't. I wanna stay right here. 275 00:16:16,460 --> 00:16:19,793 No, you wanna leave. No, I wanna stay here. 276 00:16:19,864 --> 00:16:22,424 Now, why are you making this so hard? 277 00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:24,297 I think there's a misunderstanding about this. 278 00:16:24,368 --> 00:16:25,596 I think you're right. 279 00:16:25,669 --> 00:16:28,103 Can I go? No, of course you can't go! 280 00:16:28,172 --> 00:16:31,869 We haven't even started this horrible process of... 281 00:16:32,376 --> 00:16:34,401 Okay, Creed. 282 00:16:34,778 --> 00:16:38,270 I need to let somebody go today. 283 00:16:39,717 --> 00:16:42,311 They told me I need to let somebody go. 284 00:16:42,386 --> 00:16:45,116 And as much as I think you're a great guy, and I like you, 285 00:16:45,189 --> 00:16:47,521 you're... Goodbye. 286 00:16:48,792 --> 00:16:50,350 Let's fight it. 287 00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:53,687 Let's call Jan and fight this thing together like the old days. 288 00:16:53,764 --> 00:16:55,391 What old days? What are you talking about? 289 00:16:55,466 --> 00:16:57,093 Did you start the paperwork yet? 290 00:16:57,168 --> 00:16:58,465 It's right here on the desk, yeah. 291 00:16:58,536 --> 00:17:01,004 You don't have to do this, Michael. I can't, though. 292 00:17:01,071 --> 00:17:03,335 Undo it! I can't change anything. 293 00:17:03,407 --> 00:17:05,398 This is the way it... No. You have the power to undo it. 294 00:17:05,476 --> 00:17:07,808 I don't. Okay, just let's not... You can undo it. 295 00:17:07,878 --> 00:17:09,243 Michael, undo it! 296 00:17:09,380 --> 00:17:12,406 Yeah, I went hunting once. Shot the deer in the leg. 297 00:17:12,917 --> 00:17:15,545 Had to kill it with a shovel, took about an hour. 298 00:17:15,619 --> 00:17:16,847 Why do you ask? 299 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:19,855 I have to fire someone today. Okay? 300 00:17:19,924 --> 00:17:24,486 Fine. Fire someone else. Fire Devon. He's terrible. 301 00:17:24,562 --> 00:17:27,190 I am so much better at my job than Devon. 302 00:17:27,264 --> 00:17:30,233 Okay, well, I already picked you and you know that, 303 00:17:30,301 --> 00:17:33,202 so, unless I just go through with this, 304 00:17:33,270 --> 00:17:35,932 you're always gonna look at me as the guy who almost fired you. 305 00:17:36,006 --> 00:17:40,204 No, no, no, no, no, no. I will forget so fast. You will be my savior. 306 00:17:40,277 --> 00:17:43,474 You're the guy who gave me my life back. 307 00:17:44,114 --> 00:17:46,639 Thank you. I knew you'd see it my way, Michael. 308 00:17:46,717 --> 00:17:47,775 God bless you. 309 00:17:47,851 --> 00:17:49,409 You're a fine man. Don't... 310 00:17:49,486 --> 00:17:51,147 Listen, you will not regret this, either. 311 00:17:51,222 --> 00:17:53,747 Devon is terrible. No one's gonna miss him. 312 00:17:54,792 --> 00:17:56,726 Good, good, good, good. 313 00:18:12,843 --> 00:18:15,573 Devon, could I talk to you for a second? 314 00:18:16,447 --> 00:18:18,472 Creed's an idiot. You know that. Well, he... 315 00:18:18,549 --> 00:18:21,518 No, no, no, no, no, no. You had it right the first time! 316 00:18:21,585 --> 00:18:25,453 Well, maybe I did. Exactly, you gotta go with your gut, man. 317 00:18:27,591 --> 00:18:29,456 No, I can't... 318 00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:32,518 No, I can't go back. I would look like an idiot. 319 00:18:32,596 --> 00:18:34,257 That's why I'm being fired? No. 320 00:18:34,331 --> 00:18:35,821 So you might not look like an idiot? 321 00:18:35,899 --> 00:18:37,389 No, it was all the stuff that I said. 322 00:18:37,468 --> 00:18:39,936 It was the business downturn and cutbacks, and... 323 00:18:40,004 --> 00:18:42,336 You... God, this is unbelievable! 324 00:18:42,406 --> 00:18:45,398 I just hope that you and I can remain friends. 325 00:18:47,945 --> 00:18:50,436 Devon, wait. Please. What? 326 00:18:50,514 --> 00:18:51,981 Look, look. 327 00:18:53,651 --> 00:18:56,313 In addition to severance and everything, 328 00:18:56,387 --> 00:18:59,220 I want to give you 329 00:19:00,824 --> 00:19:03,884 this gift certificate to Chili's from me. 330 00:19:05,663 --> 00:19:07,563 Okay? No hard feelings. 331 00:19:11,302 --> 00:19:15,830 Kevin, Jim, Pam, Kelly, Toby, Oscar, Meredith, 332 00:19:16,073 --> 00:19:18,337 Phyllis, Stanley, or the temp. 333 00:19:18,709 --> 00:19:21,735 If any of you wanna meet me for a drink, I'm gonna be at Poor Richard's. 334 00:19:21,812 --> 00:19:24,303 And the rest of you can go to hell. 335 00:19:31,355 --> 00:19:33,653 What about the Halloween party? 336 00:19:37,227 --> 00:19:39,661 Oh, hey, Jim. Wait, stop. 337 00:19:41,865 --> 00:19:44,766 I'm sorry for pushing you toward Cumberland. 338 00:19:46,303 --> 00:19:49,830 Seriously, if you left here, I would blow my brains out. 339 00:19:51,942 --> 00:19:53,170 Come on. 340 00:19:54,111 --> 00:19:56,272 That's just a figure of speech, you know. 341 00:19:56,347 --> 00:19:58,542 Blow your brains out? Come on. 342 00:19:58,615 --> 00:20:00,583 All it really means is that we're friends. 343 00:20:00,651 --> 00:20:04,348 And who else is she gonna talk to if I'm gone? Right? 344 00:20:04,955 --> 00:20:07,924 I mean, if she left, I wouldn't blow my brains out. 345 00:20:07,991 --> 00:20:11,586 Of course, I would take that job in Maryland because it's double the pay 346 00:20:11,662 --> 00:20:15,223 and soft-shell crab just happens to be my favorite food. 347 00:20:23,207 --> 00:20:24,299 I love Halloween. 348 00:20:24,375 --> 00:20:28,004 You know, it's just... But it's just fun. Every year, it's just fun. 349 00:20:28,078 --> 00:20:31,275 Last Halloween, I came as Janet Jackson's boob. 350 00:20:32,816 --> 00:20:35,717 It was topical. People got a big kick out of it. 351 00:20:35,786 --> 00:20:38,778 The year before that I came as Monica Lewinsky, 352 00:20:39,390 --> 00:20:41,483 and I wore a stained dress. 353 00:20:42,025 --> 00:20:44,892 The year before that, I also came as Monica Lewinsky, 354 00:20:44,962 --> 00:20:48,898 and before that I was O. J. It was pretty funny. 355 00:20:48,966 --> 00:20:51,093 Oh, I wish you were here last year. 356 00:21:00,043 --> 00:21:01,908 Trick-or-treat! 357 00:21:01,979 --> 00:21:03,879 Hey. How you doing? 358 00:21:03,947 --> 00:21:06,006 Wow, you guys look great! 359 00:21:06,083 --> 00:21:09,211 I'm a bumble bee. You look great. 360 00:21:09,420 --> 00:21:11,615 And you're a princess? A fairy princess. 361 00:21:11,688 --> 00:21:13,849 A fairy princess. You're very... I'm a lion! 362 00:21:13,924 --> 00:21:15,983 You're a lion. Wow. I wanna hear your... 363 00:21:16,059 --> 00:21:19,153 Oh! Okay, that's all yours. That's all yours. Okay! 364 00:21:19,229 --> 00:21:20,287 Grab it. Grab it. 365 00:21:20,364 --> 00:21:22,229 You know what? You guys are getting all of these.