1
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It is Friday morning

2
00:00:01,869 --> 00:00:03,769
and it is another
beautiful day

3
00:00:03,838 --> 00:00:06,773
in Scranton, Pennsylvania.

4
00:00:08,642 --> 00:00:10,439
Oh, my God!

5
00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:17,974
Pick up, pick up,
pick up, pick up.

6
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We have
a serious problem here.

7
00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:24,353
All right everybody, lock the
doors, turn off the lights.

8
00:00:24,425 --> 00:00:25,722
Pretend you're not here.

9
00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:27,488
Are we in danger?

10
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:31,020
There's no time to think
about it, this is real.

11
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Just... Everybody...

12
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Michael,
should I call the...

13
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What?

14
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:48,041
The IT tech guy and me did
not get off to a great start.

15
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Yeah, I tried to
install it myself,

16
00:01:24,169 --> 00:01:28,162
but you guys have these
things so password protected...

17
00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:30,674
That just means you have
to enter your password.

18
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What's your password,
Michael?

19
00:01:33,945 --> 00:01:34,934
Uh...

20
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That's...

21
00:01:36,181 --> 00:01:37,580
1234?
Yes.

22
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Michael...

23
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Sorry.
Please don't do that.

24
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Okay, I'm sorry.
What is going on in there?

25
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Why is he here?
What are you doing?

26
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I can't tell you.
You have to tell me.

27
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I don't have to tell you
anything. Look, Michael,

28
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I know you don't want to
have to think about this,

29
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but if something were to
happen to you, God forbid,

30
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then I would need to know
in order to take over.

31
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Dwight, nothing is going
to happen to me, okay?

32
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I'm in the best shape
of my life. Look at this.

33
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Yeah, but that doesn't matter,
you could get a brain aneurysm...

34
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I'm not going to get...
... or hit by a car...

35
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Stop.
... or a bus or a train.

36
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You could get poisoned, fall down
a well, step on a mine, choke.

37
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I'm not... Okay, if I step on a mine
in Scranton, Pennsylvania, and die,

38
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you can have my job, okay?

39
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Why don't you just go away?

40
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There are certain things a boss
does not share with his employees.

41
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His salary,
that would depress them.

42
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His bed.

43
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And I am not
going to tell them

44
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that I'll be reading
their e-mails.

45
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So how do you search?

46
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By keyword phrase.

47
00:02:44,316 --> 00:02:46,409
Try "profits. "

48
00:02:46,584 --> 00:02:48,211
No, try "Michael Scott. "

49
00:02:48,653 --> 00:02:52,953
"Michael," "boss"
and "funny. "

50
00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:57,993
Oh, my God. Wow!

51
00:02:58,763 --> 00:02:59,991
E- mail from Stanley.

52
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Stanley, terribly nice guy.

53
00:03:02,701 --> 00:03:04,259
"Sorry
I didn't write back sooner.

54
00:03:04,336 --> 00:03:06,531
"I can't go to the game tonight
because my boss, Michael,

55
00:03:06,604 --> 00:03:07,901
"is an ass
and making me stay late. "

56
00:03:07,972 --> 00:03:10,304
Well, Stanley's an ass.

57
00:03:10,608 --> 00:03:12,473
Not one of our harder workers.

58
00:03:18,116 --> 00:03:19,344
Hey, what's the deal,
Michael?

59
00:03:19,417 --> 00:03:21,214
Why are you spying
on our computers?

60
00:03:21,319 --> 00:03:24,777
Oh, no! Everybody,
Oscar's gone crazy.

61
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What other ghost stories
do you have for us?

62
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That I'm a robot?

63
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I will destroy
everything in my path.

64
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Actually, we just...

65
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Actually...

66
00:03:36,935 --> 00:03:37,993
Okay.

67
00:03:39,871 --> 00:03:41,566
Oil can.

68
00:03:42,340 --> 00:03:44,535
Oil can.

69
00:03:44,676 --> 00:03:45,768
Tin Man.

70
00:03:46,311 --> 00:03:48,472
Actually, we just got
a memo from IT

71
00:03:48,546 --> 00:03:50,446
saying you're doing
e- mail surveillance.

72
00:03:50,515 --> 00:03:52,983
What? No, that defeats
the whole purpose.

73
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So it's true? You have
access to our e-mails?

74
00:03:55,253 --> 00:03:57,414
You know what the
problem is? I think I do.

75
00:03:57,522 --> 00:04:01,288
The problem is that when people
hear the term "Big Brother,"

76
00:04:01,359 --> 00:04:04,021
they immediately think
it's scary or bad.

77
00:04:04,095 --> 00:04:07,394
But I don't. I think, "Wow,
I love my big brother. "

78
00:04:07,565 --> 00:04:09,658
I gotta erase a lot of stuff.

79
00:04:10,502 --> 00:04:13,198
A lot of stuff.

80
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Oh, hey. Just so you know, if
you have any sensitive e-mails,

81
00:04:17,742 --> 00:04:19,801
they need to be
deleted immediately.

82
00:04:19,878 --> 00:04:21,505
I know.
Good.

83
00:04:25,049 --> 00:04:25,981
Hey!

84
00:04:29,854 --> 00:04:31,048
Something just happened.

85
00:04:31,122 --> 00:04:33,454
Dwight just told Angela
that she has to delete

86
00:04:33,525 --> 00:04:35,959
all of her sensitive e-mails
immediately.

87
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What?
I know.

88
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Do you think that they're, like... No.

89
00:04:41,466 --> 00:04:42,956
Right. No, no.

90
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Maybe.

91
00:04:49,774 --> 00:04:52,868
It's like squishing a spider
under a book.

92
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It's going to be really gross,
but I have to look

93
00:04:56,281 --> 00:04:58,545
and make sure
that it's really dead.

94
00:04:59,150 --> 00:05:02,142
So if you guys
see anything...

95
00:05:03,054 --> 00:05:04,385
Hey, Dwight?

96
00:05:05,590 --> 00:05:08,616
My friend is kind of into these
two girls that he works with.

97
00:05:08,693 --> 00:05:09,682
Nice.

98
00:05:09,761 --> 00:05:11,695
One is tall and brunette,

99
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and the other one
is short and blond

100
00:05:15,099 --> 00:05:17,659
and perky
and kind of judgmental.

101
00:05:18,336 --> 00:05:19,894
Who do you think
he should choose?

102
00:05:21,239 --> 00:05:23,673
Does he have access
to their medical records?

103
00:05:24,709 --> 00:05:25,698
Um...

104
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I think one of the greatest
things about modern America

105
00:05:30,081 --> 00:05:32,515
is the computerization
of medical records.

106
00:05:32,584 --> 00:05:35,951
As a volunteer sheriff, I can look
up anyone's psychiatric records

107
00:05:36,020 --> 00:05:37,681
or surgical histories.

108
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Yeast infections.

109
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There are a huge number of
yeast infections in this county.

110
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Probably
because we're downriver

111
00:05:49,834 --> 00:05:51,699
from that old bread factory.

112
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Meredith has an evite
from Jim.

113
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Barbeque at Jim's tonight.

114
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Tonight?

115
00:06:01,045 --> 00:06:03,275
Wonder where my evitation is.

116
00:06:03,848 --> 00:06:05,509
Click on guest list.

117
00:06:05,583 --> 00:06:09,178
Angela, Stanley,
Oscar, Meredith,

118
00:06:09,254 --> 00:06:12,087
Phyllis, Kevin, Creed.

119
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Must be...

120
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No.

121
00:06:23,268 --> 00:06:25,293
Hey, Angela. How's it going? Hey.

122
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It's okay.

123
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Listen, are you bringing
anyone to Jim's party tonight?

124
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No. Are we supposed to?

125
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No. I mean, I don't know.
I don't think so.

126
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Excuse me.

127
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There is always a distance
between a boss and the employees.

128
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It is just nature's rule.

129
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It's intimidation mostly.

130
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It's the awareness
that they are not me.

131
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I do think
that I'm very approachable

132
00:07:05,476 --> 00:07:07,569
as one of the guys.

133
00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:10,747
But maybe I need to be
even approachabler.

134
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Are you going to eat with us?
Of course.

135
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Hanging with my crew,
crew that I am one of.

136
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Hanging with
my cup of noodles.

137
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This is a meal in a cup.
Right here. Hot, tasty.

138
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Reminds me of college.

139
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Lived on this stuff.
Brain food.

140
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You know what I really,
really miss about college?

141
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The parties.

142
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Everybody would go, the
athletes, the nerds, professors.

143
00:07:45,049 --> 00:07:46,983
The professors
would go to the parties?

144
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Yeah. They were the most fun.

145
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We always invited them.

146
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It's true,
I'm having a party.

147
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I've got three cases
of imported beer,

148
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karaoke machine
and I didn't invite Michael.

149
00:08:03,835 --> 00:08:06,429
So, three ingredients
for a great party.

150
00:08:06,938 --> 00:08:09,372
And it's nothing personal. I
just think that if he were there,

151
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:11,738
people wouldn't be able to
relax, you know, have fun.

152
00:08:11,809 --> 00:08:14,175
And my roommate
wants to meet everybody.

153
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Because, I'm pretty sure he
thinks I'm making Dwight up.

154
00:08:18,816 --> 00:08:20,511
He is very real.

155
00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:27,181
What?

156
00:08:30,895 --> 00:08:33,591
Oh, yes!

157
00:08:33,731 --> 00:08:34,891
Thank you.

158
00:08:41,839 --> 00:08:43,101
Question.

159
00:08:43,174 --> 00:08:45,369
On the Internet, there are
several different options

160
00:08:45,443 --> 00:08:47,604
to get to your house
for the party tonight,

161
00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:49,704
and I was wondering...
Could you keep that down?

162
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Why?

163
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Because not everybody knows
about the party.

164
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Like who?
Who doesn't know?

165
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Michael.

166
00:09:00,992 --> 00:09:02,323
Why just Michael?

167
00:09:04,529 --> 00:09:05,928
Because it's a surprise.

168
00:09:05,997 --> 00:09:07,328
Is it?

169
00:09:07,598 --> 00:09:08,997
Oh, that's perfect.

170
00:09:09,067 --> 00:09:10,329
So don't tell.

171
00:09:10,401 --> 00:09:11,925
I won't.
Okay.

172
00:09:13,304 --> 00:09:16,637
So, Dwight thinks that tonight
is a surprise party for Michael.

173
00:09:16,874 --> 00:09:18,603
Really? That's great.
I know.

174
00:09:18,676 --> 00:09:20,769
Maybe we can get him to hide
and wait somewhere.

175
00:09:22,346 --> 00:09:23,836
Oh, man.

176
00:09:24,148 --> 00:09:26,173
Oh, you know, speaking of
which, I was just trying to get

177
00:09:26,250 --> 00:09:29,083
a handle on numbers
for food and stuff,

178
00:09:29,153 --> 00:09:31,018
so do you think
Roy's gonna come, or...

179
00:09:31,089 --> 00:09:32,852
Oh, no, he can't make it.

180
00:09:32,924 --> 00:09:34,357
Okay, cool.

181
00:09:37,095 --> 00:09:38,824
Hey, there.
Hey.

182
00:09:39,097 --> 00:09:41,031
Almost quitting time.

183
00:09:41,099 --> 00:09:43,363
Yep, it's 4:00.

184
00:09:44,068 --> 00:09:48,505
One more hour to take care
of anything you forgot to do.

185
00:09:51,109 --> 00:09:54,078
Hey, you know, I don't know
if you have any plans tonight,

186
00:09:54,145 --> 00:09:56,340
but if you don't,
we could hang out.

187
00:09:58,783 --> 00:09:59,772
Oh, um...

188
00:10:01,452 --> 00:10:02,476
I can't.

189
00:10:02,587 --> 00:10:03,884
You have plans?
Yeah, I do.

190
00:10:03,955 --> 00:10:05,252
Yeah? I do, too. I do, too.

191
00:10:05,323 --> 00:10:07,416
You do?
Big plans. I do. Yeah.

192
00:10:07,492 --> 00:10:08,652
Because you just said
you wanted...

193
00:10:08,726 --> 00:10:10,626
Tonight?
I can't do it tonight, no.

194
00:10:10,695 --> 00:10:12,720
Improv class.
I have improv class.

195
00:10:12,797 --> 00:10:14,059
Hanging out
with my improv buds.

196
00:10:14,132 --> 00:10:15,156
Really?
Yeah.

197
00:10:15,233 --> 00:10:16,291
That sounds
like a lot of fun.

198
00:10:16,367 --> 00:10:17,891
Oh, it's the best.
It is the best.

199
00:10:17,969 --> 00:10:19,664
I would not miss it
for the world.

200
00:10:19,737 --> 00:10:22,501
But if something else came up,
I would definitely not go.

201
00:10:25,143 --> 00:10:26,940
Improv sounds great.

202
00:10:27,011 --> 00:10:28,569
It is.

203
00:10:33,384 --> 00:10:34,646
Okay.

204
00:10:34,719 --> 00:10:35,811
All right.

205
00:10:37,588 --> 00:10:38,577
What?

206
00:10:38,990 --> 00:10:40,548
I think
Stanley just coughed.

207
00:10:49,267 --> 00:10:52,065
Hey, Pam. Do you need me to walk
you to your vehicular transport?

208
00:10:52,136 --> 00:10:53,831
No, thanks.
All right.

209
00:10:53,971 --> 00:10:55,939
Oscar, got big plans
tonight... I'm on a call.

210
00:10:56,007 --> 00:10:59,306
Okay. Kevin. Big man, big man,
what are you doing tonight?

211
00:10:59,610 --> 00:11:01,544
Where are you off to?
My brother is in town

212
00:11:01,612 --> 00:11:04,604
and we are going to see
the Alaska Film Festival...

213
00:11:04,682 --> 00:11:05,876
Okay, all right.

214
00:11:05,950 --> 00:11:09,943
Hey, Angela. Rushie, rushie!
Where're you rushing off to?

215
00:11:10,021 --> 00:11:11,079
I'm just leaving
for the day.

216
00:11:11,155 --> 00:11:13,089
Yeah, well, duh!
Where're you headed?

217
00:11:13,257 --> 00:11:15,384
Charity bake drive.

218
00:11:15,459 --> 00:11:17,120
Liar! You are a liar.

219
00:11:17,195 --> 00:11:18,287
No. No, I'm not!

220
00:11:20,198 --> 00:11:23,031
Dwight! Oh, Dwight,
my loyal compadre.

221
00:11:23,234 --> 00:11:25,566
You and I
are hanging tonight.

222
00:11:25,636 --> 00:11:29,003
The two of us.
We are celebrating our freedom

223
00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:30,505
and our manhood.

224
00:11:30,875 --> 00:11:32,467
You know what?
Why don't we watch that show

225
00:11:32,543 --> 00:11:35,637
that you've been wanting to watch?
That stupid Battleship Galaxy.

226
00:11:35,713 --> 00:11:36,873
Battlestar Galactica.

227
00:11:36,948 --> 00:11:39,075
That's... Whatever stupid show
you want to watch,

228
00:11:39,150 --> 00:11:40,447
we're watching it.
I can't tonight.

229
00:11:40,518 --> 00:11:43,419
Unfortunately, I've got plans.
I have to go to practice.

230
00:11:43,754 --> 00:11:45,187
Soccer practice.

231
00:11:45,590 --> 00:11:47,490
I didn't know
you played soccer, Dwight.

232
00:11:47,859 --> 00:11:48,791
Clarinet.

233
00:11:48,860 --> 00:11:50,054
You, too, Dwight?

234
00:11:51,262 --> 00:11:53,594
Have fun tonight, whatever
it is that you're doing,

235
00:11:53,664 --> 00:11:56,326
and I'll see you Monday.

236
00:11:59,036 --> 00:12:00,765
He has no idea.

237
00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:09,027
Quick announcement, everybody, if
I could have everybody's attention.

238
00:12:09,098 --> 00:12:10,656
We do have wine in the kitchen

239
00:12:10,733 --> 00:12:13,327
and there is beer
available on the porch.

240
00:12:13,569 --> 00:12:14,831
And despite
what you might think

241
00:12:14,903 --> 00:12:16,131
it's not all for
Meredith and Kelly.

242
00:12:16,205 --> 00:12:18,105
So please enjoy.
Jim.

243
00:12:18,540 --> 00:12:20,269
You really think
this is a good idea?

244
00:12:20,509 --> 00:12:22,136
A hide-a-key rock?

245
00:12:22,377 --> 00:12:23,844
Hey, you must be Dwight.

246
00:12:23,912 --> 00:12:24,844
You don't work with us.

247
00:12:24,913 --> 00:12:26,437
That's because
Mark's my roommate.

248
00:12:27,449 --> 00:12:29,007
Hey, I love
the Birkenstocks.

249
00:12:29,084 --> 00:12:30,073
Thanks.

250
00:12:30,419 --> 00:12:33,684
Yeah, I always keep an extra set
in the car for special occasions.

251
00:12:34,723 --> 00:12:36,213
Jim, come here.

252
00:12:36,425 --> 00:12:38,222
When is the guest of honor
coming?

253
00:12:39,228 --> 00:12:40,957
Oh, laterish.

254
00:12:41,096 --> 00:12:43,223
He's gonna love it.
Great.

255
00:12:44,266 --> 00:12:47,167
Just wanna let you guys know that we
will be taking the tour like I promised.

256
00:12:47,236 --> 00:12:49,466
Hey.
Hey. Just in time.

257
00:12:49,671 --> 00:12:51,639
Do you wanna go on the group
tour? We were just about to leave.

258
00:12:51,707 --> 00:12:54,505
Definitely. Well, the group
tour is now leaving then.

259
00:12:54,743 --> 00:12:56,176
Ladies and gentlemen,
just a few things

260
00:12:56,245 --> 00:12:57,678
that we're going to be
pointing out to you today.

261
00:12:57,746 --> 00:12:59,873
You will be able to see
both bedrooms

262
00:12:59,948 --> 00:13:01,313
and if we're lucky,

263
00:13:01,383 --> 00:13:03,749
maybe you get a chance to peek
into the bathroom, who knows?

264
00:13:03,819 --> 00:13:06,788
I have to remind you also that
flash photography is prohibited

265
00:13:06,855 --> 00:13:09,722
and as much as you can, please
refrain from touching things.

266
00:13:09,992 --> 00:13:11,425
I know you might want to.

267
00:13:11,493 --> 00:13:12,790
Hey, is Katie coming?

268
00:13:13,262 --> 00:13:14,593
Actually, I haven't
talked to her in a while.

269
00:13:14,663 --> 00:13:15,652
It's off?

270
00:13:15,931 --> 00:13:17,228
Is it cool
if I call her?

271
00:13:17,299 --> 00:13:18,664
We can talk
about that later.

272
00:13:19,067 --> 00:13:20,193
Okay, let's get
right into it.

273
00:13:20,269 --> 00:13:21,964
I need two people
for the first scene.

274
00:13:23,205 --> 00:13:25,730
Mr. Kotter! Mr. Kotter!

275
00:13:26,008 --> 00:13:27,908
Okay, Michael
and...

276
00:13:29,878 --> 00:13:31,072
Anybody?

277
00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:33,072
How about Mary-Beth?
Okay.

278
00:13:33,715 --> 00:13:35,080
Come on.

279
00:13:35,217 --> 00:13:37,048
Okay, so you start us off, Mary-Beth.

280
00:13:37,119 --> 00:13:38,347
All right. Great. Okay.

281
00:13:43,926 --> 00:13:46,053
Detective Michael Scarn!
I'm with the FBI!

282
00:13:46,261 --> 00:13:48,695
Think about this. What
is the most exciting thing

283
00:13:48,764 --> 00:13:51,824
that can happen on TV or
in movies or in real life?

284
00:13:52,234 --> 00:13:53,531
Somebody has a gun.

285
00:13:54,570 --> 00:13:56,504
That's why
I always start with a gun.

286
00:13:56,572 --> 00:13:57,869
Because you can't top it.

287
00:13:57,940 --> 00:13:59,567
You just can't.

288
00:13:59,641 --> 00:14:02,633
I'm supposed to meet my
doctor here. Have you seen him?

289
00:14:02,711 --> 00:14:04,110
He's a very angry midget.

290
00:14:04,179 --> 00:14:06,647
Boom! Freeze!
Michael Scoon, FBI!

291
00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:08,012
You know what you did.

292
00:14:10,652 --> 00:14:13,621
Yeah, you thought you could get away
with your little ruse, didn't you?

293
00:14:13,689 --> 00:14:14,678
Didn't you?

294
00:14:14,756 --> 00:14:18,157
Well, you didn't, because I
know where you hid the diamonds.

295
00:14:18,227 --> 00:14:20,525
I've been onto you and your
little friends for weeks.

296
00:14:20,596 --> 00:14:22,826
Boom! Boom! Boom!

297
00:14:22,898 --> 00:14:24,024
I'm not even in the scene!

298
00:14:24,099 --> 00:14:25,361
Boom! Boom! Boom!

299
00:14:25,434 --> 00:14:27,459
Stop! Stop! Stop!
Okay.

300
00:14:27,536 --> 00:14:29,231
You shot me, okay, great.
Stop. Okay. What? Why?

301
00:14:29,304 --> 00:14:31,272
You can't just shoot
everyone in the scene.

302
00:14:31,340 --> 00:14:32,602
Well, if you hadn't stopped
the scene

303
00:14:32,674 --> 00:14:34,164
you would have seen
where it was going.

304
00:14:34,243 --> 00:14:35,403
Okay, what about the scene
they set up?

305
00:14:35,477 --> 00:14:36,671
Boring.

306
00:14:36,745 --> 00:14:39,111
No, it wasn't. No more guns.
It could've...

307
00:14:39,181 --> 00:14:40,648
No, no, Michael.

308
00:14:41,083 --> 00:14:43,278
Why don't you give me
all the guns you have?

309
00:14:44,019 --> 00:14:46,453
Just get rid of all your guns
and give them to me.

310
00:14:46,788 --> 00:14:48,016
Great.

311
00:14:49,524 --> 00:14:50,650
Okay.

312
00:14:56,498 --> 00:14:57,760
Jim's bedroom.

313
00:15:02,404 --> 00:15:04,531
See, I knew we lost somebody
on the tour.

314
00:15:04,606 --> 00:15:06,506
It's...
Cool.

315
00:15:06,575 --> 00:15:08,543
This is your desk?
This is my desk.

316
00:15:08,610 --> 00:15:09,941
Your home office?

317
00:15:10,012 --> 00:15:11,070
Home office.

318
00:15:11,146 --> 00:15:12,773
This is it.
Yeah.

319
00:15:12,848 --> 00:15:14,645
You have to sit down,
so I can get the full effect.

320
00:15:14,716 --> 00:15:17,082
Okay, sure. Will do.

321
00:15:18,954 --> 00:15:20,046
Okay, wait.

322
00:15:20,122 --> 00:15:24,149
So that would make me,
like, right here.

323
00:15:24,493 --> 00:15:27,087
Yeah, yeah,
that feels about right.

324
00:15:27,162 --> 00:15:29,221
And then,
Dwight would be, like...

325
00:15:29,298 --> 00:15:31,289
You know what? Let's just
leave that image out of it,

326
00:15:31,366 --> 00:15:32,594
because this is a happy place.

327
00:15:32,668 --> 00:15:35,034
Happy thoughts, Pam,
happy thoughts.

328
00:15:38,073 --> 00:15:38,971
Yearbook.

329
00:15:39,041 --> 00:15:41,339
Yeah, you don't have to...
All right.

330
00:15:41,677 --> 00:15:43,872
Yes, that's not going to be
awkward at all.

331
00:15:46,048 --> 00:15:48,812
Oh, no.
Oh, yeah.

332
00:15:49,384 --> 00:15:51,215
You were so dorky.

333
00:15:51,286 --> 00:15:52,253
Thank you.

334
00:16:00,262 --> 00:16:01,661
Freeze.
I'm in.

335
00:16:01,730 --> 00:16:03,163
Do you want to go over
the rules one more time?

336
00:16:03,231 --> 00:16:04,528
No, no, no, no!

337
00:16:06,935 --> 00:16:10,598
I'm looking in my wallet for money
so you can tell me my fortune.

338
00:16:13,608 --> 00:16:15,473
I promise it's worth it.

339
00:16:15,844 --> 00:16:17,778
I can see you
walking out of here

340
00:16:17,846 --> 00:16:19,973
and you're thrilled
with your reading.

341
00:16:22,117 --> 00:16:23,584
What are you...

342
00:16:30,959 --> 00:16:33,257
Michael, what did you tell him? Nothing.

343
00:16:33,395 --> 00:16:35,022
Then why are
his hands up?

344
00:16:35,263 --> 00:16:36,560
Bill?

345
00:16:37,132 --> 00:16:39,692
He told me he couldn't show
it to me, but he has a gun.

346
00:16:41,636 --> 00:16:43,763
Okay, let's call it a day.
Nice job.

347
00:16:43,839 --> 00:16:45,033
Good. That was good.

348
00:16:46,208 --> 00:16:47,573
Good work, everybody!

349
00:16:47,642 --> 00:16:48,700
Angela!

350
00:16:48,977 --> 00:16:51,639
Burger? Dog? Having fun?

351
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:53,707
I got sap on me.

352
00:16:54,416 --> 00:16:56,611
Chicken, hotdog, burger.

353
00:16:57,386 --> 00:16:58,819
I'm a vegetarian.

354
00:16:59,821 --> 00:17:01,311
There is soda inside.

355
00:17:02,124 --> 00:17:05,525
I didn't think the premium laser color-copy
batch would sell as well as it did.

356
00:17:05,594 --> 00:17:07,892
It surprised us all.
I'll tell you why, because...

357
00:17:07,963 --> 00:17:10,864
I'm sorry, guys. Can we
please not talk about paper?

358
00:17:11,033 --> 00:17:13,524
There's gotta be something
else that we could talk about.

359
00:17:20,275 --> 00:17:23,267
I think it's all right.
I mean, Jesus drank wine.

360
00:17:29,151 --> 00:17:31,244
Hey, Phyllis.
Come here for a second.

361
00:17:31,319 --> 00:17:32,411
Sure.

362
00:17:32,587 --> 00:17:36,648
Have you heard anything about
any secret office romances or...

363
00:17:37,292 --> 00:17:38,884
You tell me.

364
00:17:40,162 --> 00:17:42,426
You do mean
you and Jim, right?

365
00:17:43,865 --> 00:17:45,833
Oh, God. I'm so sorry.

366
00:17:45,901 --> 00:17:48,369
I mean, I thought, you
guys hang out all the time,

367
00:17:48,437 --> 00:17:51,736
and you're talking all the
time... And I'm sorry. I...

368
00:17:52,074 --> 00:17:54,269
Oh, it's okay, it's okay.

369
00:17:57,279 --> 00:18:00,715
Not so fast, fire guy...

370
00:18:02,484 --> 00:18:03,974
How do I get to Bernie's
Tavern from here?

371
00:18:04,052 --> 00:18:06,043
Don't worry, we're all gonna
carpool. To Bernie's, huh?

372
00:18:06,188 --> 00:18:08,315
We're all going to Bernie's?

373
00:18:08,390 --> 00:18:09,857
Sorry, we're not going
as a group.

374
00:18:09,925 --> 00:18:11,654
It's just a private friend

375
00:18:11,726 --> 00:18:13,193
who happens to know all of us
from different ways,

376
00:18:13,261 --> 00:18:15,525
is throwing a private birthday
thing. Right, right, right, right.

377
00:18:15,597 --> 00:18:17,690
Well guys, I'd love to go to
Bernie's with you, but you know what?

378
00:18:17,766 --> 00:18:20,200
I have an office party. Big
office party I need to go to.

379
00:18:20,268 --> 00:18:22,566
Can't get out of it. Hey,
see you later. Good job.

380
00:18:22,637 --> 00:18:25,128
Nice job, Bill. Not.

381
00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:28,932
Here I go again on my own

382
00:18:29,878 --> 00:18:34,008
Going down the only road
I've ever known

383
00:18:34,149 --> 00:18:37,016
Oh, hey, how's your little
side project going?

384
00:18:37,719 --> 00:18:39,687
Oh, yeah, I gave that up.
Really?

385
00:18:39,754 --> 00:18:43,212
Yeah, it turns out I was
just grasping at straws.

386
00:18:43,658 --> 00:18:45,717
Just because two people
are hanging out,

387
00:18:45,794 --> 00:18:47,819
it doesn't mean
that they're together.

388
00:18:48,096 --> 00:18:50,530
You know, like,
people can just be friends.

389
00:18:51,032 --> 00:18:52,795
And I think that it
was really unfair of us

390
00:18:52,868 --> 00:18:55,234
to assume that there was
anything else going on.

391
00:18:57,506 --> 00:18:59,565
Just turn around now

392
00:18:59,641 --> 00:19:02,735
'Cause you're not
welcome anymore

393
00:19:02,811 --> 00:19:05,541
and I got all my...

394
00:19:05,614 --> 00:19:07,047
Surprise!

395
00:19:08,783 --> 00:19:10,978
Everybody!
Wow.

396
00:19:11,186 --> 00:19:13,245
Who opened the morgue
for this thing?

397
00:19:13,321 --> 00:19:15,050
I was just driving by,
I thought I'd drop in.

398
00:19:15,123 --> 00:19:18,024
There's some wine. I would love a
glass, if you're going to open it.

399
00:19:18,093 --> 00:19:19,788
Hello, temp,
take my jacket.

400
00:19:22,164 --> 00:19:23,688
Oh, come on, that guy?

401
00:19:25,467 --> 00:19:27,332
He is a good guy,
not a terrorist.

402
00:19:28,436 --> 00:19:29,903
Karaoke, I love it.

403
00:19:29,971 --> 00:19:33,099
I am a karaoke fiend.

404
00:19:33,375 --> 00:19:35,502
I call dibs, I got next.
I got next up.

405
00:19:36,178 --> 00:19:40,239
Come on,
let's get this party started!

406
00:19:40,649 --> 00:19:42,776
Okay, where is that wine?

407
00:19:42,851 --> 00:19:45,285
Okay, this is a duet, so,

408
00:19:46,488 --> 00:19:50,584
I need somebody else. Pam, you
wanna come up and sing this one?

409
00:19:51,092 --> 00:19:53,583
Need somebody else.
Takers, please.

410
00:19:54,129 --> 00:19:58,532
Baby, when I met you
there was peace unknown

411
00:19:58,600 --> 00:19:59,624
Kelly?

412
00:19:59,701 --> 00:20:03,159
I tried to get you
with a fine-tooth comb

413
00:20:03,238 --> 00:20:05,672
I was soft inside

414
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:09,071
There was something going on

415
00:20:09,144 --> 00:20:12,705
This is the part,
it goes to the girl.

416
00:20:13,215 --> 00:20:17,879
You do something to me
that I can't explain

417
00:20:18,587 --> 00:20:22,455
Hold me closer
and I feel no pain

418
00:20:22,524 --> 00:20:24,617
Every beat of my heart

419
00:20:24,726 --> 00:20:28,457
We got something going on

420
00:20:30,999 --> 00:20:33,297
Tender love is blind

421
00:20:33,568 --> 00:20:37,026
It requires a dedication

422
00:20:37,239 --> 00:20:39,503
All this love we feel

423
00:20:39,574 --> 00:20:41,269
needs no conversation

424
00:20:41,343 --> 00:20:43,743
Divided together

425
00:20:45,513 --> 00:20:48,448
Making love with each other

426
00:20:48,750 --> 00:20:50,149
We're making love!

427
00:20:50,218 --> 00:20:52,618
Islands in the stream

428
00:20:52,687 --> 00:20:54,780
that is what we are

429
00:20:54,856 --> 00:20:57,086
No one in between

430
00:20:57,158 --> 00:20:59,649
How can we be wrong

431
00:20:59,728 --> 00:21:01,559
Sail away with me

432
00:21:02,147 --> 00:21:04,047
Talk! Just talk!

433
00:21:04,149 --> 00:21:05,309
I...
Shut up!

434
00:21:05,384 --> 00:21:08,182
Funny story. The way
I got into improv was...

435
00:21:08,487 --> 00:21:12,218
I got into improv... The story
about me getting into improv

436
00:21:12,324 --> 00:21:14,383
was that I was walking down
the street,

437
00:21:14,527 --> 00:21:17,121
and a race car pulls up,
and the guy says,

438
00:21:17,229 --> 00:21:19,720
"Hey you're funny. You're the
funniest guy I've ever seen,

439
00:21:19,798 --> 00:21:21,629
"or my name
is not Dale Earnhardt. "

440
00:21:24,470 --> 00:21:26,199
And that was an improv.

441
00:21:27,907 --> 00:21:30,705
The real way
was that I found a flier.