1
00:00:00,075 --> 00:00:02,889
Well, Lords of the Ring trilogy,
if you see it back to back,

2
00:00:02,970 --> 00:00:04,369
Yeah.... it's really
long, but it's good.

3
00:00:04,438 --> 00:00:05,564
Dunder Mifflin,
this is Pam.

4
00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:07,004
Pam, it's Michael. Help me.

5
00:00:07,074 --> 00:00:09,167
I need help right now!
Michael, what's wrong?

6
00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:11,143
I'm hurt. I have hurt myself.

7
00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:13,410
Oh, my God!
Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait!

8
00:00:13,481 --> 00:00:15,244
Oh, this is not
looking good, Pam.

9
00:00:15,316 --> 00:00:16,908
Michael, do you need me
to call an ambulance?

10
00:00:16,984 --> 00:00:18,212
No! I want you to pick me up.

11
00:00:18,285 --> 00:00:19,411
Okay.
What's going on?

12
00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:21,182
Wait a sec. I thought you
said that you were hurt.

13
00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:23,621
I am hurt. I hurt my foot. I'm
sorry. Pam, what is going on?

14
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:27,457
I want to come to work, but I
need you to come and pick me up.

15
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:30,429
Oh, God!
Hey, whoa, Michael.

16
00:00:30,498 --> 00:00:32,864
Oh, God!
It's... Okay. It's Jim.

17
00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:35,265
Just say again really loudly
what happened.

18
00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:40,035
Okay, I burned my foot
very badly on my Foreman grill

19
00:00:40,107 --> 00:00:42,940
and I now need someone to come
and bring me in to work.

20
00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:46,571
You burned your foot
on a Foreman grill?

21
00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:48,444
I enjoy having
breakfast in bed.

22
00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:51,007
I like waking up
to the smell of bacon. Sue me.

23
00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:54,054
And since I don't have a
butler, I have to do it myself.

24
00:00:54,121 --> 00:00:56,715
So, most nights
before I go to bed,

25
00:00:56,790 --> 00:01:00,419
I will lay six strips of bacon
out on my George Foreman grill.

26
00:01:00,861 --> 00:01:04,695
Then go to sleep. When I
wake up, I plug in the grill.

27
00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:06,457
I go back to sleep again.

28
00:01:06,534 --> 00:01:10,265
Then I wake up to the smell
of crackling bacon.

29
00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:12,839
It is delicious.
It's good for me.

30
00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:14,670
It's a perfect way
to start the day.

31
00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:19,341
Today, I got up, I stepped onto the
grill, and it clamped down on my foot.

32
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:22,678
That's it. I don't see what's
so hard to believe about that.

33
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:24,377
Pam,
could you come get me?

34
00:01:24,451 --> 00:01:27,113
I have to stay
here and answer the phone.

35
00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:29,656
Okay, could someone
come and get me, please? Ryan?

36
00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:32,590
Michael, you should stay home and
rest. There's no toilet paper here.

37
00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:34,753
Could Ryan... Tell Ryan
to bring toilet paper.

38
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:36,193
Could you tell him that?

39
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:38,823
Can you hop?
I tried hopping, Kevin,

40
00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:41,459
and I bumped my elbow
against the wall,

41
00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:44,800
and now my elbow
has a protuberance.

42
00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:48,537
No one wants to pick me up?

43
00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:51,610
What is going on?

44
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:53,644
What is going on?

45
00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:56,816
Michael is sick and he wants
one of us to rescue him.

46
00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:58,476
I'm not sick! I'm...
I'm coming, Michael!

47
00:01:58,552 --> 00:01:59,678
I'm gonna save you!

48
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:01,550
Don't! Is that Dwight?
I do not want Dwight.

49
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:04,386
Okay! Hold on, Michael,
I am coming! Wait there!

50
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:05,948
I don't want Dwight!

51
00:02:06,026 --> 00:02:08,017
Michael, why don't you call
your girlfriend?

52
00:02:08,095 --> 00:02:09,460
I don't have a girlfriend.

53
00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:11,293
But you said you went out
with her this weekend.

54
00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:13,458
That was all made up.
Just someone come, okay?

55
00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:15,434
Anyone. Anyone, but Dwight.

56
00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:18,871
What was that?
What was that?

57
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:24,743
He hit the pole.

58
00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:28,739
It's broken, right? He
can't... Oh, my gosh.

59
00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:31,148
Oh, Dwight. Dwight.

60
00:02:33,087 --> 00:02:35,681
Oh, my God.
Oh, my gosh. Is he okay?

61
00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:38,057
He's still driving.

62
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:41,725
Dwight, you forgot
your bumper.

63
00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:45,394
Hello?
Please don't send Dwight.

64
00:03:22,454 --> 00:03:24,319
Morning, everyone.

65
00:03:24,389 --> 00:03:27,790
Don't freak out.
I forbid anybody to freak out.

66
00:03:28,059 --> 00:03:32,018
Clearly, I have had a very serious
accident, but I will recover.

67
00:03:32,163 --> 00:03:33,630
God willing.

68
00:03:33,698 --> 00:03:35,632
I just want to be treated
normally today.

69
00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:38,863
Normal would actually be good, considering
the trauma that I've been through.

70
00:03:38,937 --> 00:03:41,770
You missed two big conference
calls today, one with corporate.

71
00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:44,001
Oh, did you explain why?

72
00:03:44,542 --> 00:03:46,874
No, I didn't mention
that you cooked your foot.

73
00:03:46,945 --> 00:03:48,572
Burned my foot, Pam.

74
00:03:49,981 --> 00:03:52,779
Please stop popping my cast.

75
00:03:52,851 --> 00:03:54,045
Thank you.

76
00:03:55,753 --> 00:03:57,152
So where are you shipping
your foot?

77
00:03:57,222 --> 00:03:59,952
So,
where are you shipping...

78
00:04:01,693 --> 00:04:03,024
Your foot.

79
00:04:04,762 --> 00:04:06,093
Thank you.

80
00:04:07,365 --> 00:04:08,992
Pam, messages, please.

81
00:04:09,067 --> 00:04:10,364
You didn't have any.

82
00:04:10,668 --> 00:04:15,162
Really? Well, it seemed
very important to you earlier

83
00:04:15,507 --> 00:04:17,873
that you needed to
stay and... Do my job?

84
00:04:18,009 --> 00:04:20,876
No. Your job
is being my friend, Pam.

85
00:04:21,312 --> 00:04:22,301
Ow!

86
00:04:22,380 --> 00:04:24,075
God!
It slipped.

87
00:04:24,148 --> 00:04:25,342
What...
Sorry.

88
00:04:25,416 --> 00:04:28,180
It's just that before, you said you
didn't want any special treatment.

89
00:04:28,253 --> 00:04:30,813
I don't want
any special treatment, Pam.

90
00:04:30,889 --> 00:04:34,586
I just want you to treat me
like you would a family member

91
00:04:34,659 --> 00:04:37,560
who's undergone some sort of
serious physical trauma.

92
00:04:37,629 --> 00:04:38,926
I don't think
that's too much to ask.

93
00:04:38,997 --> 00:04:41,022
Do you want some aspirin?
Because you seem a little fussy.

94
00:04:41,099 --> 00:04:43,727
No, I don't want some aspirin.
Yeah, I am fussy.

95
00:04:43,801 --> 00:04:45,359
Aspirin's not gonna
do a damn thing.

96
00:04:45,436 --> 00:04:48,132
I'm sitting here
with a bloody stump of a foot.

97
00:04:48,306 --> 00:04:51,935
Pam, I am Assistant Regional
Manager and I can take care of him.

98
00:04:52,710 --> 00:04:54,507
Part of my duties are to...

99
00:05:01,719 --> 00:05:04,347
What? Part of your
duties are to what? What?

100
00:05:05,557 --> 00:05:08,287
You just said that part of
your duties are to... Something.

101
00:05:08,359 --> 00:05:10,589
No, I didn't. Yes, you
did. What is wrong with you?

102
00:05:10,662 --> 00:05:12,562
What is wrong with you?

103
00:05:26,444 --> 00:05:28,969
Where is my corn bread?
Here you go.

104
00:05:29,047 --> 00:05:30,878
Thank you. Did you get
all dark meat like I like?

105
00:05:30,949 --> 00:05:34,646
Yes, I ordered three full rotisserie
chickens worth of all dark meat.

106
00:05:34,719 --> 00:05:36,414
Where are the yams?
They were out of yams.

107
00:05:36,487 --> 00:05:38,352
I got you creamed spinach.

108
00:05:38,423 --> 00:05:40,550
Did you go to the one
in Stroudsburg? Yes.

109
00:05:40,625 --> 00:05:42,058
And they had no yams?
They had no yams.

110
00:05:42,126 --> 00:05:44,594
How strange.
Because they always have yams.

111
00:05:46,397 --> 00:05:48,888
Oh, man, is that
a Prism DuroSport?

112
00:05:50,034 --> 00:05:52,093
You've seen one of these? Yeah.

113
00:05:52,270 --> 00:05:53,965
They're like an iPod,
only they're better,

114
00:05:54,038 --> 00:05:56,302
because they're chunkier
and more solid.

115
00:05:56,374 --> 00:05:57,898
Roy gave it to me
for Christmas.

116
00:05:57,976 --> 00:06:00,035
I'm trying to figure out
how to put songs on it.

117
00:06:00,111 --> 00:06:01,908
Oh, no, no. Don't go there.

118
00:06:02,547 --> 00:06:06,813
I know this Russian website where you
can download songs for two cents apiece.

119
00:06:06,985 --> 00:06:09,886
Really? Yeah, I'll write
down the address for you.

120
00:06:10,188 --> 00:06:14,784
Only, the only thing is, is that
all the songs are in Russian.

121
00:06:17,595 --> 00:06:18,857
Kidding.

122
00:06:19,664 --> 00:06:20,688
Oh.

123
00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:23,927
Why would they all be...

124
00:06:26,871 --> 00:06:28,862
Okay, see you later, Pan.

125
00:06:33,678 --> 00:06:34,736
Pan?

126
00:06:36,381 --> 00:06:38,178
Pam. Pam?

127
00:06:40,251 --> 00:06:41,513
Oh, God.

128
00:06:44,288 --> 00:06:46,654
What?
Come here, please.

129
00:06:46,724 --> 00:06:48,453
Tell me before I come there.

130
00:06:49,527 --> 00:06:51,995
I want you to rub butter on my foot. No.

131
00:06:52,063 --> 00:06:55,123
Pam, please? I have Country Crock. No.

132
00:07:01,072 --> 00:07:04,303
Ryan! Ryan!

133
00:07:05,176 --> 00:07:06,370
Ryan!

134
00:07:06,911 --> 00:07:10,403
These covers
are totally indestructible.

135
00:07:10,481 --> 00:07:11,641
Really?
Yeah.

136
00:07:11,716 --> 00:07:13,877
Throw it. I promise
it won't break.

137
00:07:14,052 --> 00:07:15,110
Chuck it.

138
00:07:20,358 --> 00:07:22,258
Oh, no. It's broken.
What?

139
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,793
No, it's fine.
I told you it wouldn't break.

140
00:07:25,863 --> 00:07:28,730
You could throw it all
day long. That is so cool.

141
00:07:29,434 --> 00:07:31,493
Thanks, Dwight.
You're welcome.

142
00:07:34,272 --> 00:07:36,797
So, I guess Pam and Dwight
are friends now.

143
00:07:37,809 --> 00:07:40,004
Oh, God, no.
Dwight isn't my friend.

144
00:07:42,213 --> 00:07:44,579
Oh, my God.
Dwight's kind of my friend.

145
00:07:45,416 --> 00:07:48,681
No, no. No one is helping me
out at all, Mom.

146
00:07:50,822 --> 00:07:52,790
No, I'm not gonna call Jan.

147
00:07:52,857 --> 00:07:55,917
She'd just worry, drive down
here and make a big thing.

148
00:07:58,429 --> 00:07:59,828
Who told you that?

149
00:08:00,431 --> 00:08:01,989
No, it was mutual.

150
00:08:03,701 --> 00:08:05,362
What is Pam doing
chatting with you?

151
00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:14,634
You like candy?

152
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:16,777
It's all right.

153
00:08:18,282 --> 00:08:21,513
'Cause you're sweeter than
candy. What is wrong with you?

154
00:08:52,917 --> 00:08:55,112
Wow, you just
dive right in.

155
00:08:55,386 --> 00:08:58,253
You know, around age 12, I just
started going for it, you know.

156
00:08:58,322 --> 00:08:59,687
Help!

157
00:09:01,225 --> 00:09:03,125
Oh, God! Oh, help!

158
00:09:03,928 --> 00:09:05,122
Help me.

159
00:09:05,196 --> 00:09:07,756
What happened?
I fell off the toilet.

160
00:09:09,467 --> 00:09:12,027
I'm caught between
the toilet and the wall.

161
00:09:13,204 --> 00:09:15,297
What do you need?
Not you.

162
00:09:15,773 --> 00:09:17,070
Someone else. Get Pam.

163
00:09:17,141 --> 00:09:19,473
I don't think Pam's gonna
wanna come in to the men's room.

164
00:09:19,544 --> 00:09:24,481
Get Ryan. He needs to lift me, and
he needs to clean me up a little bit.

165
00:09:24,549 --> 00:09:26,210
Bring a wet towel.

166
00:09:26,717 --> 00:09:29,777
Ryan is dead.

167
00:09:29,854 --> 00:09:30,946
No, he's not.
Dead.

168
00:09:31,022 --> 00:09:32,922
I just saw him.
No.

169
00:09:33,457 --> 00:09:37,587
Can you just get up yourself?
You only grilled your foot.

170
00:09:37,662 --> 00:09:40,756
Forget it. I'll just
get up myself.

171
00:09:42,433 --> 00:09:43,764
Help!

172
00:09:46,404 --> 00:09:47,735
Oh, God!

173
00:09:50,508 --> 00:09:52,908
Do you think Dwight's being
a little weird today?

174
00:09:52,977 --> 00:09:56,037
No. He's actually been
really nice and helpful.

175
00:09:56,781 --> 00:09:58,305
And that isn't weird?

176
00:10:00,218 --> 00:10:01,412
Well...

177
00:10:02,753 --> 00:10:05,051
Can I have everyone's
attention, please?

178
00:10:05,256 --> 00:10:09,522
Phyllis. Oscar. Ryan,
who is supposed to be dead.

179
00:10:10,628 --> 00:10:12,596
Can I ask you all a question?

180
00:10:12,730 --> 00:10:16,325
Do you know what it's like
to be disabled? Oscar?

181
00:10:16,834 --> 00:10:18,768
I had scoliosis as a girl.

182
00:10:18,836 --> 00:10:22,567
Never heard of it. No, a real
disability, not a woman's trouble.

183
00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:25,400
When I was a teenager,
I was in an iron lung.

184
00:10:25,743 --> 00:10:28,576
How old are you? No, it...

185
00:10:28,846 --> 00:10:31,007
Look, the point is,

186
00:10:31,515 --> 00:10:36,145
I am the only one here who has
a legitimate disability.

187
00:10:36,721 --> 00:10:40,555
Although I'm sure Stanley has
had his fair share of obstacles.

188
00:10:41,359 --> 00:10:44,658
I'm not disabled, and
neither are you. Okay.

189
00:10:44,962 --> 00:10:47,590
What does this look like
to you, Stanley?

190
00:10:48,699 --> 00:10:50,326
Mail Boxes Etc.

191
00:10:50,401 --> 00:10:53,029
Shut it. Okay.

192
00:10:53,938 --> 00:10:55,997
Well. Well, you know what?

193
00:10:56,440 --> 00:11:00,376
Disabilities are not things
to be laughed at

194
00:11:00,544 --> 00:11:03,741
or laughed about.
You people are jerks.

195
00:11:04,181 --> 00:11:06,911
Imagine if you had
left Stevie Wonder

196
00:11:06,984 --> 00:11:08,952
on the floor of that bathroom
instead of me.

197
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,413
Oh, we wouldn't.
We love Stevie Wonder.

198
00:11:15,026 --> 00:11:16,653
I burned my foot!

199
00:11:17,962 --> 00:11:21,921
Okay, 20 minutes, conference
room, everybody's in there!

200
00:11:23,935 --> 00:11:25,027
Dad?

201
00:11:29,757 --> 00:11:32,590
While we are waiting for
our special guest to arrive,

202
00:11:33,027 --> 00:11:34,756
I wanted you all
to take a look

203
00:11:34,829 --> 00:11:38,128
at a few of the many,
many disabled icons

204
00:11:38,199 --> 00:11:40,759
who have contributed so much
to our society.

205
00:11:40,869 --> 00:11:41,995
Quick question.
Yeah.

206
00:11:42,070 --> 00:11:44,732
Why is Tom Hanks on the wall? Twice.

207
00:11:45,306 --> 00:11:48,867
Good question. Forrest
Gump, mentally challenged.

208
00:11:49,410 --> 00:11:51,378
Philadelphia, AIDS.

209
00:11:51,446 --> 00:11:53,141
I think that's from Big.

210
00:11:53,915 --> 00:11:55,906
I don't think so. No.

211
00:11:56,084 --> 00:11:58,484
Yeah, he's dancing on a piano
with Robert Loggia.

212
00:11:58,553 --> 00:12:02,250
He grew into a man overnight,
rare disability. Still works.

213
00:12:04,726 --> 00:12:08,560
A crossword puzzle, Stanley? Seriously,
are you learning nothing here?

214
00:12:08,630 --> 00:12:09,688
Mmm-hmm.

215
00:12:09,764 --> 00:12:11,459
What do you mean, "Mmm-hmm"?

216
00:12:11,533 --> 00:12:13,558
I mean I'm learning nothing. Okay.

217
00:12:13,635 --> 00:12:15,227
Michael Scott.
I'm looking for Michael Scott.

218
00:12:15,303 --> 00:12:18,033
Yes. Right in here.
Good.

219
00:12:18,206 --> 00:12:19,673
Come on in.
Great.

220
00:12:19,874 --> 00:12:23,071
This, ladies and gentlemen,
is our special guest.

221
00:12:24,078 --> 00:12:27,377
Sorry I'm late. Somebody parked
in the handicapped parking space.

222
00:12:29,417 --> 00:12:31,510
Hey, everyone,
I'm Billy Merchant.

223
00:12:31,586 --> 00:12:33,486
You may have seen me
around here before.

224
00:12:33,555 --> 00:12:36,217
I'm the Properties Manager
of this office park.

225
00:12:36,291 --> 00:12:37,656
You are so brave.

226
00:12:38,026 --> 00:12:39,493
You are so brave.
Thank you.

227
00:12:39,561 --> 00:12:42,052
Actually, I've been meaning to
come by here for a long time...

228
00:12:42,130 --> 00:12:45,361
But it's hard for you, right?
Because you're in a wheelchair.

229
00:12:45,433 --> 00:12:47,492
No, I just have a lot
of properties to manage.

230
00:12:47,569 --> 00:12:49,161
Let me ask you something.

231
00:12:49,237 --> 00:12:52,400
How long does it take for you
to do something simple every day?

232
00:12:52,473 --> 00:12:54,532
Like brush your teeth
in the morning.

233
00:12:54,609 --> 00:12:57,271
I don't know, like 30
seconds. Oh, my God.

234
00:12:57,712 --> 00:13:00,180
That's three times
as long as it takes me.

235
00:13:01,049 --> 00:13:04,348
How did you get in your
wheelchair? This morning?

236
00:13:04,619 --> 00:13:06,610
Just like every other morning,
just climbed on in.

237
00:13:07,822 --> 00:13:10,814
Hey, hey, hey, hey! Not funny.
Not funny. Hey, hey, relax.

238
00:13:10,892 --> 00:13:13,827
Just joking around here.
Well, that's good.

239
00:13:14,028 --> 00:13:15,518
He still has a sense of humor.

240
00:13:15,597 --> 00:13:18,896
Listen, I've actually used a
chair since I was four years old.

241
00:13:18,967 --> 00:13:22,164
I don't really notice it anymore. Well,
they do. They notice it, don't you?

242
00:13:22,236 --> 00:13:26,002
You notice it. It's the first thing you
saw when he rolled in here, isn't it?

243
00:13:26,441 --> 00:13:29,501
I wanna clamp Michael's face
in a George Foreman grill.

244
00:13:29,577 --> 00:13:32,205
So, there were just a couple things
I wanted to remind everybody of.

245
00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:34,145
Okay.
First is parking.

246
00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:36,478
You can't block the freight
entrance with your car

247
00:13:36,551 --> 00:13:37,950
even if your blinkers are on.

248
00:13:38,019 --> 00:13:40,044
Does anybody
have any questions?

249
00:13:40,588 --> 00:13:41,748
Yes.

250
00:13:43,057 --> 00:13:44,183
Yeah.

251
00:13:45,093 --> 00:13:46,117
Yes.

252
00:13:47,295 --> 00:13:49,229
Dwight, you have
your hand up.

253
00:13:52,133 --> 00:13:56,661
Ignore him. You know what? We're
not that different, you and I.

254
00:13:57,205 --> 00:14:00,538
When I clamped my foot
into a non-stick grill...

255
00:14:00,608 --> 00:14:02,269
You know what, Michael?
Yeah.

256
00:14:02,343 --> 00:14:04,106
Let me stop you right there. Okay.

257
00:14:04,178 --> 00:14:05,338
And leave.

258
00:14:05,413 --> 00:14:07,745
Did you see
Born on the Fourth of July?

259
00:14:08,082 --> 00:14:11,245
I was under the impression that
Billy would be more like that guy.

260
00:14:11,586 --> 00:14:13,713
What's wrong with that guy?
You mean today?

261
00:14:13,788 --> 00:14:16,450
He stepped on a George Foreman
grill and he burned his foot.

262
00:14:16,524 --> 00:14:19,925
No, not Michael. The moon-faced
kid who crashed into the pole.

263
00:14:23,031 --> 00:14:25,090
He looks like
he has a concussion.

264
00:14:29,170 --> 00:14:30,228
Hey.

265
00:14:30,405 --> 00:14:34,034
I found the pudding cups you wanted
at a gas station in Carbondale!

266
00:14:34,108 --> 00:14:38,340
You did it. Look at you. And
with the plate and the napkin.

267
00:14:38,413 --> 00:14:40,904
Very nice. Thank you,
Ryan. You are very welcome.

268
00:14:40,982 --> 00:14:42,210
Did you get the yams?

269
00:14:42,283 --> 00:14:45,548
No, the gas station in Carbondale
did not have fresh yams.

270
00:14:47,555 --> 00:14:49,648
Oh, okay. I'll just have
the pudding. You sure?

271
00:14:49,724 --> 00:14:51,055
Yeah.
Okay.

272
00:14:51,125 --> 00:14:53,025
You know what? I feel better.

273
00:14:53,728 --> 00:14:54,956
Ryan brought me
some chocolate pudding

274
00:14:55,029 --> 00:14:57,361
and his kindness
healed my foot.

275
00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:02,331
Yeah, baby!
I am feeling better.

276
00:15:02,737 --> 00:15:04,898
My body's literally
healing itself.

277
00:15:05,306 --> 00:15:07,240
It is amazing what the
human body is capable of

278
00:15:07,308 --> 00:15:09,071
when you have
a powerful brain.

279
00:15:09,143 --> 00:15:11,839
I ground up
four extra-strength aspirin

280
00:15:11,913 --> 00:15:13,608
and put them
in Michael's pudding.

281
00:15:14,082 --> 00:15:17,916
I do the same thing with my dog to
get him to take his heartworm medicine.

282
00:15:19,187 --> 00:15:22,486
Oh, finally feel the blood
coursing through my foot veins.

283
00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:27,289
Okay, I think we need
to take him to the hospital...

284
00:15:27,361 --> 00:15:28,350
No, no, no.

285
00:15:28,429 --> 00:15:30,420
...'cause I'm pretty sure
he has a concussion.

286
00:15:30,498 --> 00:15:32,728
Oh, now you feel
some compassion for him.

287
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:35,064
He needs to go right now, and
you're his emergency contact.

288
00:15:35,136 --> 00:15:37,434
I think you should go with
him. Why don't you go with him?

289
00:15:37,505 --> 00:15:39,996
I barely know him.
I want Michael to take me.

290
00:15:40,074 --> 00:15:43,009
I can't take you. I don't have
my car, and yours is all vomitty.

291
00:15:43,077 --> 00:15:44,374
You can take my van.

292
00:15:44,445 --> 00:15:48,313
Oh, okay. That's great. No, I can't
drive. Jim, why don't you drive?

293
00:15:48,683 --> 00:15:51,447
Fine. We'll go. I'm still
recovering, so let's just...

294
00:15:51,519 --> 00:15:53,282
Ryan, can you get my coat,
please? Slowly, slowly.

295
00:15:53,354 --> 00:15:55,117
Okay, let's just get
to the elevator.

296
00:15:55,189 --> 00:15:56,713
What are you doing?

297
00:15:56,791 --> 00:15:58,986
Vietnam sounds. Stop it.
Stop, stop, stop, stop.

298
00:16:00,161 --> 00:16:01,856
Tired.
Dwight, you can't lay down.

299
00:16:01,929 --> 00:16:03,055
Let's take a break.
Wake up.

300
00:16:03,131 --> 00:16:05,691
Wait, here, let me help you,
Dwight. Come on.

301
00:16:05,767 --> 00:16:07,166
Okay, Pam. Thanks.
Get up. Get up.

302
00:16:07,235 --> 00:16:09,135
You're the best.
Just keep him awake.

303
00:16:09,203 --> 00:16:11,171
It smells like chicken soup. I know.

304
00:16:11,239 --> 00:16:13,469
I have to go to the hospital. I know.

305
00:16:13,541 --> 00:16:15,771
Where are we going? I just
wanna say goodbye, okay?

306
00:16:15,843 --> 00:16:17,140
Well, I'll be back, I mean...

307
00:16:17,211 --> 00:16:19,839
Yes, I know, but it's
gonna be different. Why?

308
00:16:20,181 --> 00:16:21,705
It's just hard to explain.

309
00:16:21,783 --> 00:16:25,219
Oh, Pam, you're adorable.
Oh, my goodness.

310
00:16:26,254 --> 00:16:28,814
Come here.
Huggy-hugs.

311
00:16:30,024 --> 00:16:31,218
Shotgun!

312
00:16:31,292 --> 00:16:33,920
You don't think you should
sit in the back with Dwight?

313
00:16:34,862 --> 00:16:37,194
The rules of shotgun are
very simple and very clear.

314
00:16:37,265 --> 00:16:41,201
The first person to shout "shotgun"
when you're within the sight of the car

315
00:16:41,269 --> 00:16:44,102
gets the front seat.
That's how the game is played.

316
00:16:44,739 --> 00:16:46,900
There are no exceptions
for someone with a concussion.

317
00:16:47,241 --> 00:16:51,405
Oh, God, a minivan.
What is Meredith's problem?

318
00:16:52,113 --> 00:16:55,310
Well, I think she has a kid. Yeah,
she has one kid and no husband.

319
00:16:55,383 --> 00:16:57,476
She's not gonna find one
driving this thing around.

320
00:16:57,552 --> 00:17:00,419
Where are we going?
Come on, get inside.

321
00:17:00,488 --> 00:17:02,956
Where are we going? We're
going to Chuck E. Cheese.

322
00:17:03,024 --> 00:17:06,482
Chuck E. Cheese? Oh, God, I'm
so sick of Chuck E. Cheese.

323
00:17:06,561 --> 00:17:07,994
We're going to the hospital,
Michael.

324
00:17:08,062 --> 00:17:09,996
I know. I'm just saying.

325
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:14,760
Dwight, what are you drinking?
I found it under the seat.

326
00:17:14,836 --> 00:17:17,031
Oh, my God. Dwight, put
that down. I'm thirsty.

327
00:17:17,104 --> 00:17:19,867
No!
Give the bottle to Michael.

328
00:17:19,941 --> 00:17:22,307
Give it to me, Dwight. Just
keep your eyes on the road.

329
00:17:22,376 --> 00:17:24,810
Give me the bottle or you're
fired! You can't fire me.

330
00:17:24,879 --> 00:17:26,813
I don't work in this van.
Give it to me, Dwight.

331
00:17:26,881 --> 00:17:28,280
No.
Give me the bottle!

332
00:17:28,349 --> 00:17:29,941
Will you stop?
Give me the bottle, Dwight!

333
00:17:30,017 --> 00:17:31,348
Michael, stop!
Just give it.

334
00:17:31,419 --> 00:17:32,909
Michael, stop! Stop.
Stop it!

335
00:17:32,987 --> 00:17:34,750
Stop spraying me!
Give me the bottle!

336
00:17:34,822 --> 00:17:36,790
My eyes!
Stop spraying me!

337
00:17:36,858 --> 00:17:38,086
Give me the bottle!

338
00:17:38,259 --> 00:17:41,353
Dwight, what is your
middle name? Danger.

339
00:17:42,763 --> 00:17:44,856
Something with a "K."
It's Kurt.

340
00:17:45,433 --> 00:17:47,663
Wow, I'm so sad
that I know that.

341
00:17:47,735 --> 00:17:50,568
What do I write under
"reason for visit"?

342
00:17:50,638 --> 00:17:51,730
Concussion.

343
00:17:55,009 --> 00:17:57,170
What did you write?
Nothing.

344
00:17:58,813 --> 00:18:01,077
I wrote, "Bringing someone
to the hospital. "

345
00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:03,742
So you thought they meant your
reason for coming to the hospital?

346
00:18:03,818 --> 00:18:06,946
No, no. You know what, Jim?
This isn't about me anymore.

347
00:18:07,388 --> 00:18:10,755
I made a miraculous recovery, which
is more than I can say for him.

348
00:18:10,825 --> 00:18:12,190
Come on, Dwight.

349
00:18:14,161 --> 00:18:15,890
Hi, Michael.
Hi, Dwight.

350
00:18:20,001 --> 00:18:23,869
Doctor, what is more serious,
a head injury or a foot injury?

351
00:18:23,938 --> 00:18:26,372
A head injury. Well, you
don't have all the information.

352
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:30,774
The foot has been fairly severely
burned, and healed quickly, very quickly.

353
00:18:31,279 --> 00:18:35,010
Actually, like, suspiciously
quickly. So I'm ordering a CAT scan.

354
00:18:35,616 --> 00:18:36,844
What is that?

355
00:18:36,918 --> 00:18:39,352
Look, since you have
the machine up and running,

356
00:18:39,420 --> 00:18:41,684
can I just stick my foot in?
We can take a look.

357
00:18:41,756 --> 00:18:45,317
Well, for a burn, you really just need
to look at the outside of the foot.

358
00:18:45,393 --> 00:18:47,156
Okay, what kind
of machine is that?

359
00:18:47,228 --> 00:18:49,321
Does the skin look
red and swollen?

360
00:18:49,397 --> 00:18:52,924
That's what she said. That's
my joke. Damn it, Dwight.

361
00:18:55,369 --> 00:18:58,770
Okay, no electronics past this
point. Camera, sound equipment...

362
00:18:58,806 --> 00:19:01,832
It's okay, they're with me.
No metal of any kind.

363
00:19:01,909 --> 00:19:04,673
All right, well, I guess this
is where we leave you off.

364
00:19:04,745 --> 00:19:05,837
I don't wanna do this.

365
00:19:05,913 --> 00:19:08,245
You should have thought of that
before you crashed your head

366
00:19:08,316 --> 00:19:12,776
on your way to pick me up. So,
we'll see you when you get out.

367
00:19:13,955 --> 00:19:15,149
Oh.

368
00:19:18,559 --> 00:19:20,083
Fine. Fine.

369
00:19:34,275 --> 00:19:37,335
Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.
Dunder Mifflin, this is Jim.

370
00:19:37,411 --> 00:19:40,107
Oh, my God. What's going on?
Is Dwight okay?

371
00:19:40,181 --> 00:19:42,615
He should be fine, but they
brought him in for a CAT scan.

372
00:19:42,683 --> 00:19:44,776
I can't believe
he's getting a CAT scan.

373
00:19:44,852 --> 00:19:47,514
Michael went in there with
him, too. It's pretty sweet.

374
00:19:47,588 --> 00:19:49,681
Really? Michael went
in with him? Mmm-hmm.

375
00:19:49,957 --> 00:19:51,584
Wow. But they shouldn't
be much longer now.

376
00:19:51,659 --> 00:19:54,492
So we'll be back soon.
Okay, that's good news.

377
00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:57,321
Yeah, no, I'll let you go.

378
00:19:57,398 --> 00:19:58,387
Okay.
Okay.

379
00:19:58,466 --> 00:19:59,660
Bye.
Bye.

380
00:20:07,475 --> 00:20:09,534
Hey, Oscar.
What's up, Pam?

381
00:20:09,610 --> 00:20:12,875
I just wanted to let you know
that Dwight's gonna be okay.

382
00:20:12,947 --> 00:20:15,575
The doctor said there's a really
simple treatment for a concussion.

383
00:20:15,649 --> 00:20:17,810
So he'll probably even be
back at work tomorrow.

384
00:20:17,885 --> 00:20:20,820
Okay. I just thought
you'd wanna know that.

385
00:20:26,927 --> 00:20:31,557
Okay, Mr. Schrute, inhale
with me on three. One, two...

386
00:20:31,999 --> 00:20:34,627
Sir! Stop that. Stop.

387
00:20:35,669 --> 00:20:36,761
Stop that.