1
00:00:00,183 --> 00:00:01,514
Nothing much,
what's up with you?

2
00:00:01,585 --> 00:00:03,951
I cannot believe
I fell for that.

3
00:00:04,355 --> 00:00:06,016
Oh, my gosh!

4
00:00:06,690 --> 00:00:09,318
What? What? Where's the funny?

5
00:00:10,227 --> 00:00:11,489
Give it to me.

6
00:00:13,431 --> 00:00:16,059
Is it me or does it smell
like updog in here?

7
00:00:16,133 --> 00:00:17,225
What's "updog"?

8
00:00:17,301 --> 00:00:19,132
Nothing much,
what's up with you?

9
00:00:20,471 --> 00:00:24,635
Oh, wow.
I walked right into that.

10
00:00:24,975 --> 00:00:26,806
Oh, that's brilliant.

11
00:00:27,478 --> 00:00:29,639
Hey, Stanley,
is that jacket made of updog?

12
00:00:29,713 --> 00:00:30,941
I'm on the phone.

13
00:00:35,820 --> 00:00:37,617
What flavor coffee is that?
Updog?

14
00:00:37,688 --> 00:00:38,746
What's that?

15
00:00:38,823 --> 00:00:41,314
I don't know.
Nothing, what's up with you?

16
00:00:42,159 --> 00:00:44,320
Huh?
No, damn it.

17
00:00:44,595 --> 00:00:45,789
What does that mean?

18
00:00:45,863 --> 00:00:47,057
What does what mean?

19
00:00:47,131 --> 00:00:49,622
That thing you just said.
Just forget it.

20
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:50,989
Dwight!

21
00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:55,135
Hey, is it me, or does
this place smell like updog?

22
00:00:55,239 --> 00:00:59,505
What's "updog"?
Gotcha! Oh, God.

23
00:00:59,877 --> 00:01:01,037
Crap.

24
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,510
Nothing. How are you doing?

25
00:01:05,583 --> 00:01:06,709
Good.

26
00:01:07,518 --> 00:01:08,917
How are you doing?

27
00:01:14,091 --> 00:01:15,115
Damn it!

28
00:01:51,462 --> 00:01:54,090
Today is spring cleaning
day here at Dunder Mifflin.

29
00:01:54,165 --> 00:01:56,929
And yes, I know it's January.
I am not an idiot.

30
00:01:57,001 --> 00:01:59,561
But, if you do your
spring cleaning in January,

31
00:01:59,637 --> 00:02:02,265
guess what you don't
have to do in the spring!

32
00:02:02,406 --> 00:02:03,532
Anything.

33
00:02:04,074 --> 00:02:06,542
They say a cluttered desk
means a cluttered mind.

34
00:02:06,610 --> 00:02:10,307
Well, I say an empty desk
means an... Empty mind.

35
00:02:10,381 --> 00:02:13,407
No, that's not... No, that's
not what I was gonna say.

36
00:02:13,851 --> 00:02:15,478
Meredith, the men's room.

37
00:02:15,553 --> 00:02:18,989
Make sure you replace the
urinal cakes, they're worn down.

38
00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:21,684
Kevin, file drawers.

39
00:02:22,393 --> 00:02:25,191
Angela, kitchen.
Oscar, dusting.

40
00:02:25,262 --> 00:02:27,696
Where is Oscar?
He's out sick.

41
00:02:28,832 --> 00:02:31,926
That's unacceptable. I
agree. It's unacceptable.

42
00:02:37,308 --> 00:02:39,299
What are you guys doing?

43
00:02:41,312 --> 00:02:42,836
Michael?
Yes?

44
00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:47,850
Oscar is out sick.

45
00:02:48,953 --> 00:02:50,580
On a Friday?

46
00:02:56,193 --> 00:02:58,252
Can I do some of the talking?
I will do the talking.

47
00:02:58,329 --> 00:02:59,796
Okay, let him know that I'm here. Hello?

48
00:02:59,863 --> 00:03:01,763
What difference does it make
whether you're here?

49
00:03:01,832 --> 00:03:04,300
Hello? Hi, Oscar, it's Michael.

50
00:03:04,501 --> 00:03:05,627
And Dwight.

51
00:03:05,903 --> 00:03:08,098
Yeah. Heard you were
under the weather?

52
00:03:08,172 --> 00:03:10,037
Yeah, I think
I came down with the flu.

53
00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:12,575
Really? Oh, that is a shame.

54
00:03:12,643 --> 00:03:14,702
You know
it's cleaning day here today.

55
00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:17,372
Could've used some of that
famous Hispanic cleaning ethic.

56
00:03:17,448 --> 00:03:18,915
Yeah, I feel
terrible about it.

57
00:03:18,983 --> 00:03:20,974
Ask him his symptoms,
I'm on WebMD.

58
00:03:21,051 --> 00:03:22,416
What are your symptoms?

59
00:03:22,486 --> 00:03:24,317
I have the chills.

60
00:03:24,388 --> 00:03:27,084
I'm feeling nauseous,
and my head's killing.

61
00:03:30,060 --> 00:03:31,049
Checks out.

62
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:32,823
Michael, is there
anything you need from me?

63
00:03:32,896 --> 00:03:35,296
I'd like to go back to bed.
I need you to go to bed.

64
00:03:35,366 --> 00:03:38,392
I need you to get better. See you
Monday, unless you're still sick.

65
00:03:38,469 --> 00:03:39,731
So have a great long weekend.

66
00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:41,430
I'll just be sleep...

67
00:03:42,773 --> 00:03:45,606
Okay, first impressions.
He sounded sick.

68
00:03:45,676 --> 00:03:47,439
Which is exactly
how you'd want to sound,

69
00:03:47,511 --> 00:03:49,206
if you wanted someone to think
you were sick.

70
00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:50,474
That's exactly
what I was thinking.

71
00:03:50,547 --> 00:03:52,947
Question. May I investigate? Yeah.

72
00:03:53,017 --> 00:03:55,645
Drop what you're doing.
Make this a priority.

73
00:03:56,253 --> 00:03:58,813
Because an office
can't function efficiently

74
00:03:58,889 --> 00:04:02,086
unless people are at their
desks, doing their jobs.

75
00:04:02,359 --> 00:04:03,417
I bought my veil.

76
00:04:03,494 --> 00:04:05,655
Oh, my God,
that is so exciting!

77
00:04:05,963 --> 00:04:07,555
Can I be a bridesmaid?

78
00:04:08,799 --> 00:04:11,859
Listen, you don't have to answer now,
but how are you going to do your hair?

79
00:04:11,935 --> 00:04:14,495
Okay, I was thinking
about wearing it down.

80
00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:19,074
Kind of like, I don't know,
like, loose with big curls?

81
00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:21,701
You look like an angel.
I'm seriously gonna cry.

82
00:04:21,779 --> 00:04:24,942
Wowey! Mikey likey!

83
00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:28,815
Why don't you wear your hair like
that all the time? It's much sexier.

84
00:04:31,155 --> 00:04:33,282
Man, this must be
torture for you.

85
00:04:35,292 --> 00:04:36,691
Yeah, on the booze cruise,

86
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:40,457
I told Michael about some
feelings I used to have for Pam.

87
00:04:41,265 --> 00:04:45,133
I had just broken up with Katy,
and had a couple of drinks,

88
00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:49,263
and I confided in the
world's worst confidante.

89
00:04:54,278 --> 00:04:56,542
Hey, Michael.
Hey, Jim-bag!

90
00:04:58,215 --> 00:05:01,241
Remember that thing I told you
on the booze cruise about Pam?

91
00:05:01,318 --> 00:05:03,616
That was personal.

92
00:05:03,987 --> 00:05:07,013
So if we could just keep that between
you and me, that would be great.

93
00:05:07,091 --> 00:05:09,252
Really? Who else knows?

94
00:05:09,326 --> 00:05:10,452
Nobody.

95
00:05:10,861 --> 00:05:12,021
Wow.

96
00:05:12,763 --> 00:05:17,359
Jim and I are great friends. We
hang out a ton, mostly at work.

97
00:05:17,868 --> 00:05:20,564
But the fact that he told
me his secret and no one else

98
00:05:20,637 --> 00:05:22,901
says everything
about our friendship.

99
00:05:23,374 --> 00:05:28,311
And it is why I intend on keeping that
secret for as long as I possibly can.

100
00:05:29,747 --> 00:05:30,839
My lips are sealed.

101
00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:31,972
My lips are sealed

102
00:05:32,049 --> 00:05:34,517
Bangles. All right. Great. Thank you.

103
00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:36,644
Can you hear me?

104
00:05:37,154 --> 00:05:40,612
They talk about us
Telling lies

105
00:05:40,791 --> 00:05:45,319
Listen, temp. I'm conducting
a little investigation.

106
00:05:45,396 --> 00:05:48,627
So, I'm no longer gonna be
able to head up spring cleaning.

107
00:05:48,699 --> 00:05:50,064
Do you think
you can handle it?

108
00:05:50,134 --> 00:05:51,601
Yeah, I think
I can handle it.

109
00:05:51,668 --> 00:05:54,466
Do you think,
or do you know?

110
00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:56,466
I think.

111
00:05:59,243 --> 00:06:01,211
Oh, God. Here.

112
00:06:04,348 --> 00:06:07,078
Hey, what you getting?
I'm going with grape.

113
00:06:07,151 --> 00:06:09,949
Good stuff. Good stuff.

114
00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:12,748
Did you see
the game last night?

115
00:06:12,823 --> 00:06:13,881
Which game?

116
00:06:14,224 --> 00:06:15,418
Any of them.

117
00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:22,690
So, what's the 411? Any
updates on the "P" situation?

118
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:24,825
I don't know any...
P- A-M.

119
00:06:24,902 --> 00:06:26,961
P- A-M.
Yeah. Oh, okay.

120
00:06:27,070 --> 00:06:29,538
No, it's okay, we're
talking code. What is?

121
00:06:29,606 --> 00:06:32,666
Listen, Stan, you know, how long does
it take for you to pick out a soda?

122
00:06:32,743 --> 00:06:36,270
I'm gonna take off, actually.
All right, well, cool.

123
00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:39,612
Still deciding?

124
00:06:42,386 --> 00:06:46,550
Peach ice tea.
You're gonna hate it.

125
00:06:46,924 --> 00:06:49,757
Hey, Oscar. How you doing?
Dwight Schrute calling.

126
00:06:49,893 --> 00:06:51,724
Listen, little question
for you, buddy.

127
00:06:51,795 --> 00:06:54,923
I called six minutes ago
and no one answered.

128
00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:57,489
So, I was wondering
if you could explain...

129
00:06:57,568 --> 00:07:02,335
Oh, I see. So, sounds like
you're too sick to come into work,

130
00:07:02,406 --> 00:07:04,533
but you're well enough
to go to the pharmacy.

131
00:07:04,608 --> 00:07:07,873
There are several different
ways to tell if a perp is lying.

132
00:07:07,945 --> 00:07:10,607
The liar will avoid
direct eye contact.

133
00:07:11,415 --> 00:07:15,181
The liar will cover part of
his or her face with his hand,

134
00:07:15,252 --> 00:07:16,378
especially the mouth.

135
00:07:17,554 --> 00:07:19,181
The liar will perspire.

136
00:07:21,058 --> 00:07:25,017
Unfortunately, I spoke to Oscar on
the phone so none of this is useful.

137
00:07:30,167 --> 00:07:33,136
It's grape! Soda!

138
00:07:33,403 --> 00:07:34,700
Tony the Tiger.
Yeah.

139
00:07:34,771 --> 00:07:36,898
You don't hear that much
anymore. Not so much.

140
00:07:36,974 --> 00:07:38,805
Okay, what is going on here?

141
00:07:39,343 --> 00:07:41,675
Nothing.
Oh, really, nothing?

142
00:07:42,145 --> 00:07:45,012
Fact. You are drinking grape
soda, you never drink grape soda.

143
00:07:45,082 --> 00:07:47,983
Fact. You are talking to Jim,
you never talk to Jim.

144
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:50,542
Fact. I love grape soda,
I always have.

145
00:07:50,621 --> 00:07:54,387
Fact. Jim and I talk all the
time. We tell each other secrets.

146
00:07:54,658 --> 00:07:57,058
Okay, so what is the
secret, Michael? Look, I...

147
00:07:57,127 --> 00:08:00,358
I had asked Michael if I could
head up the Oscar investigation.

148
00:08:00,430 --> 00:08:02,398
And he said that only Dwight

149
00:08:02,466 --> 00:08:05,993
was capable of handling
such sensitive material.

150
00:08:08,739 --> 00:08:09,967
Is that true?

151
00:08:13,510 --> 00:08:18,447
I don't know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is.

152
00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:20,549
Thank you, Michael.

153
00:08:21,118 --> 00:08:23,018
I know you're telling the truth. Okay.

154
00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:25,919
I can tell.
I won't let you down.

155
00:08:25,989 --> 00:08:27,286
Good.

156
00:08:27,624 --> 00:08:28,613
Thanks.

157
00:08:31,495 --> 00:08:34,589
Nice. That was slick.
What are you doing for lunch?

158
00:08:34,665 --> 00:08:35,757
I don't know.
I'm probably just gonna eat

159
00:08:35,832 --> 00:08:37,766
my ham and cheese sandwich
in the break room.

160
00:08:37,834 --> 00:08:39,563
Oh, nonsense, no way. No.

161
00:08:39,636 --> 00:08:43,037
Why don't I take you
out to lunch? My treat.

162
00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:44,801
No. That's all right.
Thank you, though.

163
00:08:44,875 --> 00:08:47,469
It's... I gotta do some cleaning,
I should probably stick around here.

164
00:08:47,544 --> 00:08:48,806
Hey, you know
what we could do?

165
00:08:48,879 --> 00:08:50,574
We could spread out a blanket
in the break room,

166
00:08:50,647 --> 00:08:52,842
have a little picnic,
order some 'za.

167
00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:55,884
Talk about you know who.

168
00:08:55,953 --> 00:08:57,250
Oh, no.

169
00:08:57,487 --> 00:09:00,081
You know what? Let's go out. That
was a good idea. Let's go out.

170
00:09:00,157 --> 00:09:01,749
I know just the place.

171
00:09:04,828 --> 00:09:08,992
Oh, man.
You should order milk. Get it?

172
00:09:10,534 --> 00:09:12,126
Why do I like Hooters?

173
00:09:13,170 --> 00:09:17,368
Well, I will give you two reasons.
The boobs and the hot wings.

174
00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:23,188
Here we go, here we go.
Bogey at 3:00.

175
00:09:23,264 --> 00:09:25,391
Hi. Hey, I'm Dana, welcome to Hooters.

176
00:09:25,466 --> 00:09:28,902
We're not worthy,
we're not worthy!

177
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:34,538
Hello, Dana.
I am Michael and this is Jim.

178
00:09:34,642 --> 00:09:37,634
And we are brothers.
No. We're not brothers.

179
00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:39,645
I'm his boss, actually,
and I treat him well.

180
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:42,181
I'm taking him out to lunch
because I can afford it.

181
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:43,739
And he can have
whatever he wants.

182
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:45,284
Could I just have
the ham and cheese sandwich?

183
00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:46,341
Great.
Thanks.

184
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:49,321
And for you? Tell me, Dana.
How is your chicken breast?

185
00:09:49,390 --> 00:09:52,223
Oh, it's great. It's served
with our world-famous wing sauce.

186
00:09:52,293 --> 00:09:53,783
Sounds yummy.

187
00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:57,353
I will have a chicken breast,
hold the chicken.

188
00:09:59,133 --> 00:10:01,033
Is that what you really want?

189
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:06,934
No, I'm gonna have the
gourmet hot dog. Great.

190
00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:15,142
Who took all the black
ones? That's a communal bowl.

191
00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:17,843
So, how did Oscar sound
when he called in?

192
00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:20,920
Sick. Like lots of sniffling,
I don't know.

193
00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:22,285
Sniffling, how?

194
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:25,385
How many different ways
are there to sniffle?

195
00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:26,653
Three.

196
00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:29,123
Okay, it was the second one.

197
00:10:29,196 --> 00:10:32,893
Okay, good, thank you. That
wasn't so hard, now, was it?

198
00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:39,870
What do you like best
about Pam?

199
00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:41,874
Oh, I really
don't want to talk about it.

200
00:10:41,942 --> 00:10:44,069
Is it her legs,
her boobs, her...

201
00:10:45,446 --> 00:10:47,676
She's easy to talk to,
I guess.

202
00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:50,273
And, uh, she's got
a really good sense of humor.

203
00:10:50,351 --> 00:10:53,184
Really?
Never gets any of my jokes.

204
00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:57,417
What about you?
Her boobs, definitely.

205
00:10:57,491 --> 00:11:00,016
Wow. That's not what I meant.

206
00:11:00,094 --> 00:11:01,425
Here you go.
Oh, thank you.

207
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:04,191
And I understand we have
a birthday today!

208
00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:06,664
Oh, happy birthday, Jim!

209
00:11:06,734 --> 00:11:08,429
Ready, girls?
Front side!

210
00:11:08,502 --> 00:11:11,437
You put your front side in
You put your front side out

211
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:14,474
You put your front side in
And you shake it all about

212
00:11:14,575 --> 00:11:17,510
You do the hokey-pokey
And you turn yourself around

213
00:11:17,578 --> 00:11:19,273
That's what it's all about!

214
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:22,110
Thank you.
Oh, yeah!

215
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:23,581
Thanks. Thanks, Dana.

216
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:25,413
Thank you very much!

217
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,112
There you go.

218
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,622
Hilarious. Hey!

219
00:11:31,225 --> 00:11:35,184
What did you guys talk about? Just,
you know, politics, literature.

220
00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:37,923
I hate you.

221
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,190
Quick Oscar update.

222
00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:43,429
I have conducted interviews
with everyone in the office...

223
00:11:43,504 --> 00:11:44,994
Just go to his house
and see if he's sick.

224
00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:47,597
I could have done this
investigation in, like, 20 minutes.

225
00:11:47,674 --> 00:11:49,767
Including prep time?
Just do it.

226
00:11:55,349 --> 00:11:58,546
If I had to, I could clean
out my desk in five seconds,

227
00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:01,343
and nobody would ever know
I had ever been here.

228
00:12:02,623 --> 00:12:04,090
And I'd forget, too.

229
00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:16,930
Expense this.

230
00:12:17,471 --> 00:12:22,101
Michael, is that a wig?
No, it's...

231
00:12:22,443 --> 00:12:24,172
I wear it like that sometimes.

232
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,235
Is that a wig?
No.

233
00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:29,180
This is from Hooters.
Yeah. It's a business lunch.

234
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:33,015
Did Toby approve this? No, he did
not. I don't need his permission.

235
00:12:33,487 --> 00:12:35,318
You just got your
corporate credit card back.

236
00:12:35,389 --> 00:12:37,186
You really want me
to take it away again?

237
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:38,588
It's ridiculous.

238
00:12:38,659 --> 00:12:42,720
They took my card away because
I spent 80 bucks at a magic shop.

239
00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:45,822
What they don't understand
is that I bought the stuff

240
00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:50,127
to impress potential clients,
so business related. Right?

241
00:12:50,204 --> 00:12:53,173
I put a cigarette
through a freaking quarter,

242
00:12:53,507 --> 00:12:56,408
and you know what, Toby,
they almost bought from us.

243
00:12:56,510 --> 00:12:57,704
I'm not processing this.

244
00:12:57,778 --> 00:13:00,804
Look,
Jim needed a relaxing lunch.

245
00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:04,146
He has been depressed and it has
been affecting his productivity.

246
00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:06,812
How is that not work-related?
He seems fine to me.

247
00:13:06,887 --> 00:13:08,752
You're not his friend,
you don't know.

248
00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:11,757
He is in love with a girl
he works with who is engaged,

249
00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:13,986
so just cut me some slack.
Please?

250
00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:15,153
Pam?

251
00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:27,033
Angela, who would you choose?
Jim or Roy?

252
00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:31,237
It's nobody's business,
Phyllis. Roy.

253
00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:35,448
Jim has got it bad for Pam.

254
00:13:35,516 --> 00:13:37,848
Oh! Which one is Pam?

255
00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:40,114
Well, she's...

256
00:13:40,554 --> 00:13:41,714
Hey, Michael.

257
00:13:41,789 --> 00:13:44,349
So, do you think Jim will try
to break up the wedding?

258
00:13:44,425 --> 00:13:46,655
You know what, Kevin,
Jim is a friend of mine.

259
00:13:46,727 --> 00:13:49,855
So, the only people that
this crush really concerns

260
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,488
is Jim and Pam, and me.

261
00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:55,591
As a volunteer
sheriff's deputy,

262
00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:57,694
I've been doing
surveillance for years.

263
00:13:57,771 --> 00:14:02,435
One time, I suspected an ex-girlfriend
of mine of cheating on me.

264
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:06,669
So I tailed her for six nights
straight. Turns out, she was.

265
00:14:07,114 --> 00:14:09,708
With a couple of guys,
actually, so...

266
00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:13,983
Mystery solved.

267
00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:18,485
Jim, why didn't you tell me
that you had a crush on Pam?

268
00:14:20,394 --> 00:14:21,793
Well,
the cat's out of the bag.

269
00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:26,595
I used to have a crush on Pam,
and now I don't.

270
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:29,059
Riveting.

271
00:14:31,572 --> 00:14:32,698
Yeah.

272
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,167
No, it's not.

273
00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:35,401
Nice.

274
00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:38,907
She's so hot.

275
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:45,176
Hey!
Hey!

276
00:14:46,153 --> 00:14:47,677
Did you find
anything good in your desk?

277
00:14:47,855 --> 00:14:50,153
Uh, coupon
for a free sandwich.

278
00:14:50,424 --> 00:14:52,255
Score!
Expired in August.

279
00:14:52,326 --> 00:14:54,726
And my cell phone charger
from two years ago.

280
00:14:54,795 --> 00:14:56,228
Big day.
Big day.

281
00:14:57,898 --> 00:14:59,490
Hey, listen.

282
00:15:01,835 --> 00:15:03,132
Um...

283
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:09,839
I told Michael on the booze
cruise... It's so stupid.

284
00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:17,977
I told Michael
that I had had a crush on you

285
00:15:18,786 --> 00:15:20,913
when you first started here.
Oh.

286
00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:26,826
Well, I just thought that... I
figured you should hear it from me

287
00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:30,859
rather than...
I mean, you know Michael.

288
00:15:31,732 --> 00:15:32,960
Right.

289
00:15:33,534 --> 00:15:38,369
And, seriously,
it's totally not a big deal.

290
00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:39,494
Okay?

291
00:15:41,275 --> 00:15:44,210
And when I found out that
you were engaged, I mean...

292
00:15:44,278 --> 00:15:47,304
No, I know. Like, I kind of...

293
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:51,810
Like I thought that maybe
you did when I first started.

294
00:15:51,885 --> 00:15:52,943
Oh, you did?

295
00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:54,817
No, I mean, just 'cause we,
like, got along so well.

296
00:15:54,888 --> 00:15:57,618
Oh, yeah. No, yeah,
you saw through me. Great.

297
00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:02,493
So, are you gonna be, like,
totally awkward around me now?

298
00:16:02,563 --> 00:16:06,693
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Hope that's okay.

299
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,194
Mmm-hmm.

300
00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:14,303
And, Pam?
It was, like, three years ago.

301
00:16:15,209 --> 00:16:18,337
So, I am totally over it.

302
00:16:19,847 --> 00:16:20,905
Cool.

303
00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:22,274
Okay.

304
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:31,646
Stay low.

305
00:16:35,429 --> 00:16:37,659
This is it. There he is.

306
00:16:37,898 --> 00:16:40,833
He's been gone for at
least two... Who is that?

307
00:16:41,702 --> 00:16:43,294
Come to papa.

308
00:16:46,340 --> 00:16:47,534
Oh, yes.

309
00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:52,335
Let's roll. I knew it!

310
00:16:57,417 --> 00:17:00,386
Oh, man! You are so busted!

311
00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:05,221
Ice skates, shopping bags? I
think I know what's going on here.

312
00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:07,957
You weren't sick at all.

313
00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:09,086
Who is this?

314
00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:11,096
This is Dwight Schrute.

315
00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:12,324
Who is this?

316
00:17:12,633 --> 00:17:13,691
Gil.

317
00:17:14,334 --> 00:17:15,995
Are you going to tell Michael?

318
00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:17,464
How about this.

319
00:17:17,538 --> 00:17:18,903
I don't tell Michael,

320
00:17:18,972 --> 00:17:22,931
and in exchange, you owe me
one great big, giant favor,

321
00:17:23,010 --> 00:17:27,572
redeemable by me at a time
and place of my choosing.

322
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:30,406
Guess what I found out
about Oscar tonight.

323
00:17:31,618 --> 00:17:34,052
He was lying about being sick.

324
00:17:34,655 --> 00:17:37,852
Should I have reported
Oscar's malfeasance?

325
00:17:38,225 --> 00:17:41,786
Probably, but now I know something
he doesn't want me to know.

326
00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:45,964
So I can use his malfeasance
to establish leverage.

327
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:50,933
Otherwise, it's just malfeasance,
for malfeasance's sake.

328
00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:55,938
Hey.
I know.

329
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,472
I know, I know.

330
00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:04,482
What happened?
I... Oh, just...

331
00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:08,785
I was trying... The expense
reports... And then...

332
00:18:09,156 --> 00:18:13,115
Toby, you know, he just...
I know, I just...

333
00:18:14,027 --> 00:18:15,221
I just hope it...

334
00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:18,856
I just hope that this
doesn't affect our friendship.

335
00:18:21,635 --> 00:18:24,433
It's stupid. It's so stupid.

336
00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:25,937
Hey, hey.

337
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:31,142
Listen, man. You know, it's not
a big deal. Well, okay. I'm fine.

338
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:33,338
It's going to be fine. No,
I know, I'm good, I'm good.

339
00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:34,744
It's just...

340
00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:37,878
Look, it's one day.

341
00:18:38,051 --> 00:18:39,678
Everything's gonna be all right? Yeah.

342
00:18:39,753 --> 00:18:40,981
No big deal. You good?
Yeah, I'm good.

343
00:18:41,054 --> 00:18:42,043
Okay.

344
00:18:43,657 --> 00:18:46,182
Creed, did you organize
the menu book?

345
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:49,593
I thought that was
more on a volunteer basis.

346
00:18:50,097 --> 00:18:51,257
No.

347
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:54,823
That was mandatory. Oh, I thought
that was a volunteer thing.

348
00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:03,139
Hey, your schedule
for next week.

349
00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:08,940
Are you okay? Yeah, I'm
fine. Look. About you and Jim.

350
00:19:09,049 --> 00:19:10,744
I... No. No, that's...
You don't have to...

351
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:14,412
I just feel it's my responsibility
as your bosslfriend...

352
00:19:14,488 --> 00:19:15,887
No, it's really, it's okay.

353
00:19:15,956 --> 00:19:19,619
I know that Jim had, like, a
crush on me when he first started,

354
00:19:20,027 --> 00:19:22,120
but that was
a long time ago, so...

355
00:19:22,262 --> 00:19:25,163
It wasn't that long ago.
It was on the booze cruise.

356
00:19:26,767 --> 00:19:31,397
Jim had a crush on me on the booze cruise
or he told you about it on the booze cruise?

357
00:19:32,606 --> 00:19:35,973
Okay, shut it, Michael.

358
00:19:36,109 --> 00:19:39,272
I'm done, that's it. I'm out.

359
00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:45,007
Ready?
Yeah.

360
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:55,189
People are always coming to
me, "Michael, I have a secret.

361
00:19:55,262 --> 00:19:57,196
"You're the only one I trust. "

362
00:19:57,798 --> 00:19:58,890
No thanks,

363
00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:02,958
because keeping a secret
can only lead to trouble.

364
00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:07,232
Like, I was watching Cinemax
last weekend, this movie.

365
00:20:08,742 --> 00:20:13,179
Portrait of a Prostitute,
or something.

366
00:20:13,747 --> 00:20:16,238
Secrets of a Call...
More Secrets of a Call Girl.

367
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:19,774
And the lead character Shyla
is framed for murder,

368
00:20:19,853 --> 00:20:24,153
goes on the run, and winds up
working at a bordello in Malibu.

369
00:20:26,193 --> 00:20:29,993
I don't... I don't wanna live
like that. I like it here.

370
00:20:30,997 --> 00:20:33,932
I don't wanna be Shyla,
I like being Michael Scott.