1 00:00:04,295 --> 00:00:05,630 Pam? Yeah? 2 00:00:06,088 --> 00:00:08,716 Did you see Oprah yesterday? No, I didn't. 3 00:00:09,425 --> 00:00:12,637 I... I'm going to be a father. 4 00:00:15,389 --> 00:00:18,518 What was Oprah about? Angelina Jolie was on. 5 00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:22,480 And she adopted a baby from Asia, and she said that it changed her life, 6 00:00:22,563 --> 00:00:24,774 and that really inspired me. 7 00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:30,947 So I want you to look into see how much a little Chinese baby would cost. 8 00:00:32,615 --> 00:00:35,284 That's a really big decision. I know. 9 00:00:35,743 --> 00:00:37,912 Maybe you should wait before you adopt. 10 00:00:37,995 --> 00:00:39,789 Well... Or not adopt. 11 00:00:39,872 --> 00:00:41,707 Just do it, okay? 12 00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:46,003 Roy's sister looked into it and the application alone costs $1,000. 13 00:00:48,798 --> 00:00:50,716 Well, find out 14 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:55,388 if there's a cheaper, less expensive baby out there, okay? 15 00:00:55,471 --> 00:00:58,057 You know, she also said the waiting list is, like, eight months. 16 00:00:58,140 --> 00:00:59,267 Eight months? Yeah. 17 00:00:59,350 --> 00:01:01,227 I don't even know if I want a baby in eight months. 18 00:01:01,310 --> 00:01:02,853 Probably won't. 19 00:01:05,606 --> 00:01:06,691 You know what, Pam? 20 00:01:06,774 --> 00:01:08,526 If in 10 years, 21 00:01:09,527 --> 00:01:12,488 I haven't had a baby and you haven't had a baby... 22 00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:13,739 No, Michael. 23 00:01:14,615 --> 00:01:16,659 Twenty years. No, Michael. 24 00:01:17,785 --> 00:01:19,036 Thirty. 25 00:01:20,788 --> 00:01:22,039 Sure. 26 00:01:22,665 --> 00:01:24,125 It's a deal. 27 00:01:56,991 --> 00:01:58,868 All right, three pairs of pants. 28 00:01:58,951 --> 00:02:00,494 Three pairs of socks. Mmm-hmm. 29 00:02:00,703 --> 00:02:03,497 Three packs of condoms. Yes. 30 00:02:04,790 --> 00:02:06,792 Fun jeans. Right there. 31 00:02:09,962 --> 00:02:11,589 Sign. Per diem. 32 00:02:12,381 --> 00:02:15,051 Guess where I am going? I will give you a hint. 33 00:02:15,509 --> 00:02:18,846 It is a booze-fuelled sex romp where anything goes. 34 00:02:19,013 --> 00:02:20,598 You are correct, sir! 35 00:02:20,681 --> 00:02:21,849 I am headed to Philadelphia 36 00:02:21,932 --> 00:02:25,895 for the annual Northeastern Mid-Market Office Supply Convention. 37 00:02:25,978 --> 00:02:29,565 And Jim Halpert is going to be coming, which'll be fun. 38 00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:34,028 Poor little guy has been stuck working under Josh, 39 00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:38,741 the poor man's Michael Scott, as he is known around my condo. 40 00:02:40,201 --> 00:02:42,745 Don't be mad, it is a business trip. 41 00:02:42,828 --> 00:02:45,831 But I don't understand. It's for managers. 42 00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:48,709 Monkey, I am an ARM, Assistant Regional Manager. 43 00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:50,670 I know! It's... 44 00:02:51,962 --> 00:02:55,174 I was just really hoping we could spend some time together. 45 00:02:58,719 --> 00:03:00,971 Are you still there? Yes, monkey. 46 00:03:01,055 --> 00:03:04,600 Don't "monkey" me! You can't wait to get out of here, ARM! 47 00:03:05,935 --> 00:03:08,437 In the Martin family, we like to say, 48 00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:11,565 "Looks like someone took the slow train from Philly." 49 00:03:11,649 --> 00:03:14,276 That's code for "Check out the slut." 50 00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:16,737 What is... 51 00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:19,657 Why are there flies in here? 52 00:03:19,865 --> 00:03:22,284 Oh, my God! Are you so excited for tonight? 53 00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:24,704 I'm so excited. You guys are gonna click, I can feel it. 54 00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:26,706 So what are you wearing? 55 00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:27,957 This. 56 00:03:31,127 --> 00:03:32,962 You look so pretty. 57 00:03:34,422 --> 00:03:35,756 Thank you. 58 00:03:36,757 --> 00:03:38,551 Yes, I have a date. 59 00:03:38,759 --> 00:03:41,554 He's a cartoonist for the local paper, 60 00:03:41,637 --> 00:03:44,890 which is really neat, because I like to draw, too. 61 00:03:46,016 --> 00:03:47,768 I'm kind of nervous. 62 00:03:48,352 --> 00:03:51,772 I haven't been on a first date in nine years. 63 00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:55,985 Probably shouldn't broadcast that. 64 00:03:57,319 --> 00:03:59,196 Well, remember, no matter how much you may want to, 65 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:02,199 do not sleep with him on the first date, it gives him all the power. 66 00:04:02,283 --> 00:04:05,536 Sleep with who? Whom? Whom? Whom? 67 00:04:05,619 --> 00:04:08,038 My neighbor, Alan. They're going on a date tonight. 68 00:04:08,122 --> 00:04:11,041 Oh, wow! Oh, my God, I have a great idea. 69 00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:14,170 You know what you should do? Be hilarious. Wear your wedding dress. 70 00:04:14,253 --> 00:04:17,840 It'd be a great icebreaker! And your veil. 71 00:04:17,923 --> 00:04:19,925 Yeah. Do it! 72 00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:22,303 I'll probably just wear this. Really? 73 00:04:22,386 --> 00:04:24,346 Okay, well, word of advice, 74 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:27,266 unbutton that top button, let those things breathe. 75 00:04:27,558 --> 00:04:29,852 Any message you want me to relate to Jim? 76 00:04:29,935 --> 00:04:31,979 "Um," okay. Um... 77 00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:34,190 You got that? I got it. 78 00:04:34,273 --> 00:04:35,983 Write it down. I'll write it down. 79 00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:38,486 Um, um, um, um... 80 00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:45,117 There's my girl. 81 00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:48,579 Noticed you handing out some shekels. 82 00:04:48,662 --> 00:04:50,539 How would one get on that train? 83 00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:52,708 That was per diem for Philadelphia. 84 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,585 That town smells like cheese steaks. 85 00:04:54,668 --> 00:04:56,921 That town is full of history! 86 00:05:00,382 --> 00:05:02,802 Andrea's the office bitch. 87 00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:05,179 You'll get used to her. 88 00:05:08,265 --> 00:05:09,433 Creed. 89 00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:15,940 Can I have my neck pillow back? 90 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:17,650 Michael! 91 00:05:18,609 --> 00:05:20,945 Can I have my neck pillow back? 92 00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:26,200 Hey, Michael. MICHAEL: Hey, Josh, how you doing? 93 00:05:26,283 --> 00:05:27,701 Pretty good, how you doing? Good to see you. 94 00:05:27,785 --> 00:05:30,871 There he is! There's the traitor. Traitor! Traitor! 95 00:05:30,955 --> 00:05:32,957 Come here, you. Come here! 96 00:05:35,292 --> 00:05:37,628 The... The progidal... 97 00:05:37,711 --> 00:05:39,296 My son returns! 98 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:43,050 I was shocked when he told me he was transferring to Stamford. 99 00:05:43,133 --> 00:05:46,136 It's like with firemen, you don't leave your brothers behind. 100 00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:47,847 Even if you find out 101 00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:51,725 that there is a better fire in Connecticut. 102 00:05:52,309 --> 00:05:55,437 It's really good to see you, man. Yeah. 103 00:05:56,021 --> 00:05:58,774 Wow. I didn't expect that. 104 00:05:59,108 --> 00:06:01,318 It's good to see you, too. 105 00:06:01,402 --> 00:06:06,282 Oh, hey, how's it going up there? Have you made any sales yet? 106 00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:08,033 Yeah, sold about 40,000. 107 00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:09,785 Hey! Shut up, that's impossible. 108 00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:13,289 No, it's not, and I did, yeah. Well, I did it, too. 109 00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:16,166 You know, when I saw Dwight, 110 00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:18,961 I realized how stupid and petty 111 00:06:19,044 --> 00:06:20,629 all those pranks I pulled on him were. 112 00:06:22,214 --> 00:06:23,924 And then he spoke. 113 00:06:25,217 --> 00:06:27,928 I wonder how hard it would be to get a copy of his room key. 114 00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:30,180 So did you hear? What? 115 00:06:30,264 --> 00:06:31,891 Pam's back on the market again. 116 00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:33,350 Really? She's dating? 117 00:06:34,184 --> 00:06:37,229 If I weren't engaged, I would so hit that. 118 00:06:41,650 --> 00:06:43,861 So what kind of commissions you get up there? 119 00:06:43,944 --> 00:06:46,906 Oh, Dwight, I missed you so much. 120 00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:49,450 You're so immature. 121 00:06:50,367 --> 00:06:53,245 Listen, Michael, I heard you were a great salesman, 122 00:06:53,454 --> 00:06:54,622 and I just wanted to let you know 123 00:06:54,705 --> 00:06:56,290 that if our branch absorbs your branch, 124 00:06:56,373 --> 00:06:58,375 I'm gonna look for a place for you in Stamford. 125 00:06:58,459 --> 00:06:59,501 Oh, hey! 126 00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:00,586 - Hey. - Hey, Jan. 127 00:07:00,669 --> 00:07:02,004 We all checked in? Yes. 128 00:07:02,087 --> 00:07:04,840 Great. Let's dump our stuff and meet back down here in half an hour. 129 00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:06,258 - Okay. - Okay. 130 00:07:06,342 --> 00:07:07,468 Jan? 131 00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:11,096 Look, I think we need to set some ground rules. 132 00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:15,100 What are you talking about? The 800-pound gorilla in the room. Carole? 133 00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:16,310 I'm still dating her, 134 00:07:16,393 --> 00:07:20,272 so nothing can happen between us at the convention. 135 00:07:20,439 --> 00:07:22,024 Step away from me, Michael. 136 00:07:22,107 --> 00:07:25,152 Thank you for being so brave with all of this. 137 00:07:25,736 --> 00:07:27,071 Thank you. 138 00:07:33,869 --> 00:07:36,288 Alan's cartoon's so funny, right? 139 00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:38,457 And they're, like, so smart. 140 00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:41,251 I don't even know what they mean half the time. 141 00:07:56,183 --> 00:07:59,478 This party is gonna be awesome! I know! 142 00:07:59,561 --> 00:08:04,024 That is specifically why I chose a room close to the elevator. 143 00:08:04,108 --> 00:08:06,568 More foot traffic. Check it out. 144 00:08:07,027 --> 00:08:09,488 That is crooked. On that side. 145 00:08:09,571 --> 00:08:10,698 Wow. 146 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,033 Hey, hey! 147 00:08:13,117 --> 00:08:15,452 - That is a lot of liquor. - Yeah. 148 00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:16,829 And a dartboard. 149 00:08:16,912 --> 00:08:19,540 Well, that's how we do it in Scranton, or did you forget? 150 00:08:19,623 --> 00:08:21,625 Ain't no party like a Scranton party 151 00:08:21,709 --> 00:08:23,544 'cause a Scranton party don't stop! 152 00:08:26,964 --> 00:08:29,466 We should probably head on down, you know, hook up with Jan. 153 00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:32,428 Hey, well, we have time! One for the road, gentlemen? 154 00:08:33,095 --> 00:08:35,139 "A shot of Midori, perhaps?" 155 00:08:40,185 --> 00:08:41,603 Oh, no, sorry, it's an inside joke. 156 00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:44,064 There's this bartender in Stamford who... 157 00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:46,692 You know what? You just had to be there. 158 00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:49,570 I wish I was! I love inside jokes. 159 00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:52,614 Love to be a part of one someday. 160 00:08:58,579 --> 00:08:59,621 We should... Yeah! 161 00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:02,249 All right, see you guys down there. See you guys. All right. 162 00:09:02,332 --> 00:09:03,917 Change your mind, come back up. 163 00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:05,502 I'll do a shot with you, Michael. 164 00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:08,297 Don't be gross. It's not even lunch yet. 165 00:09:12,342 --> 00:09:13,844 Swag! 166 00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:16,472 Stuff we all get. 167 00:09:16,555 --> 00:09:20,851 I basically decorated my condo for free with all of my swag! 168 00:09:21,351 --> 00:09:23,562 Check it out! Oh, my God. 169 00:09:23,645 --> 00:09:25,731 Hi! I'm Michael Scott, Dunder Mifflin. 170 00:09:25,814 --> 00:09:27,691 Dwight Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager, Dunder Mifflin. 171 00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:30,027 All right. I'm a huge fan. 172 00:09:30,110 --> 00:09:31,612 Thanks, appreciate it, guys. You know what? 173 00:09:31,695 --> 00:09:34,490 I'm having a big blowout tonight, Room 308, hope you can come. 174 00:09:34,573 --> 00:09:37,034 All right, maybe. If I can. Well, cool! 175 00:09:37,117 --> 00:09:40,037 Okay, so can I tell people you're gonna be there? 176 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:42,915 No, you cannot. So maybe. See you. 177 00:09:43,665 --> 00:09:46,710 Why do they call him "The Bus"? Because he's afraid to fly. 178 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:48,128 Smile! 179 00:09:48,212 --> 00:09:50,506 Do you remember me from last year? 180 00:09:50,589 --> 00:09:52,591 There's a party in my room, 308. 181 00:09:52,674 --> 00:09:54,051 Can't miss it, right off the elevator. 182 00:09:54,134 --> 00:09:55,594 Tonight! Be there! 183 00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:57,554 All right, Jan just e-mailed me. 184 00:09:57,638 --> 00:09:59,014 She wants us to meet her up front. 185 00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:02,684 Yup! Yeah, she's up front. You don't have e-mail on your phone. 186 00:10:02,768 --> 00:10:05,354 I don't have to, I just know. 187 00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:07,648 Yes? Hello? 188 00:10:08,982 --> 00:10:10,400 No one just called you. All right. Nice meeting you. 189 00:10:10,484 --> 00:10:11,485 Take care. Nice to meet you. 190 00:10:11,568 --> 00:10:12,569 I'll see you soon. Yeah, stop by. 191 00:10:12,653 --> 00:10:14,780 Take care. See you in a bit. Bye-bye. 192 00:10:14,863 --> 00:10:17,616 May I have a moment of your time, please? 193 00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:20,702 I need you to do something for me. Yes, anything. 194 00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:22,704 I want you to dig up some dirt on Josh, 195 00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:24,581 find out if there are any skeletons in his attic. 196 00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:26,917 I'll talk to my buddy down at the station, stat. 197 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,253 Hey, Pam. 198 00:10:29,795 --> 00:10:31,922 Hey, what's up? It's... How are... 199 00:10:32,005 --> 00:10:33,298 I might ask if you wanted... 200 00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:35,551 Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. 201 00:10:36,635 --> 00:10:38,804 He's not in the office. Can I take a message? 202 00:10:40,305 --> 00:10:41,598 I will. 203 00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:43,475 You, too. 204 00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:46,186 Sorry, what's up? 205 00:10:46,645 --> 00:10:47,855 If... 206 00:10:54,111 --> 00:10:56,530 I just completely forgot what I was gonna say. 207 00:10:56,613 --> 00:10:58,157 It's so weird. 208 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:00,367 Okay. 209 00:11:00,450 --> 00:11:03,245 Well, if you think of it, I'll be here. 210 00:11:03,412 --> 00:11:04,538 Okay. 211 00:11:10,377 --> 00:11:13,380 So I called my buddy down at the station today 212 00:11:14,256 --> 00:11:17,009 to have him run a background check on Josh Porter, 213 00:11:17,092 --> 00:11:19,678 see if there's any known aliases, etcetera. 214 00:11:19,761 --> 00:11:23,182 And? He wasn't volunteering today. 215 00:11:27,936 --> 00:11:31,565 Yeah. Things have been pretty crazy around the office. 216 00:11:31,648 --> 00:11:33,567 Oh, yeah? Yeah. 217 00:11:33,650 --> 00:11:36,111 We moved Ryan over to your desk... 218 00:11:37,112 --> 00:11:40,949 Tell him I say hi. I will call him later with that message. 219 00:11:41,283 --> 00:11:43,243 Hey, how's Toby? 220 00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:48,415 Toby Flenderson is everything that is wrong with the paper industry. 221 00:11:49,291 --> 00:11:50,500 Is he why you left? 222 00:11:50,584 --> 00:11:53,962 Oh, no, it was just, you know, a good opportunity for me, a promotion. 223 00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:56,340 I got a chance to... Opportunity, promotion, blah, blah... 224 00:11:56,423 --> 00:11:58,884 You know, Jim, those are just words. 225 00:11:58,967 --> 00:12:03,597 Have you taken into account other factors, vis-a-vis bosses? 226 00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:06,725 Is Josh funnier than I am? Does he even have a girlfriend? 227 00:12:06,808 --> 00:12:08,352 Because I have two, basically. 228 00:12:08,435 --> 00:12:11,188 Michael, it's really not a competition. 229 00:12:12,814 --> 00:12:15,317 Jim got us a great lead with the new rep from National Envelope. 230 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:17,486 Really? Great. We can grab lunch with him tomorrow. 231 00:12:17,569 --> 00:12:20,656 Hey, Jan? Jan? Don't worry, I have got the tip. 232 00:12:21,281 --> 00:12:23,492 Whoa, Michael! Wow! 233 00:12:23,575 --> 00:12:24,868 Oh, my God, thank you! Hey, no problem. 234 00:12:24,952 --> 00:12:28,705 Was that your per diem? No, that was a different $100 bill. 235 00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:30,249 What have you generated, Michael? 236 00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:34,169 I have generated a lot of interest in my party this evening. 237 00:12:35,128 --> 00:12:36,129 What party? 238 00:12:36,213 --> 00:12:39,800 The party I'm having tonight in 308, obviously, you are invited. 239 00:12:41,134 --> 00:12:45,764 Michael, Jim and Josh are in meetings all day, 240 00:12:45,847 --> 00:12:48,725 and I am in and out of meetings. 241 00:12:49,977 --> 00:12:52,646 I... I can't stay on top of you 24/7. 242 00:12:58,527 --> 00:13:01,071 You should order the most expensive thing on the menu. 243 00:13:01,196 --> 00:13:03,115 So he knows you're worth it. 244 00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:06,451 If you do that, you're gonna have to put out. 245 00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:10,706 Oh, yeah, you'll have to put out. 246 00:13:12,457 --> 00:13:14,293 Is there a key for a Jane Doe? 247 00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:17,587 Thank you. 248 00:13:20,048 --> 00:13:22,009 Any messages for 3087 249 00:13:23,885 --> 00:13:25,220 All right. 250 00:13:25,512 --> 00:13:27,681 Hey, hey, fellers. Michael! 251 00:13:27,764 --> 00:13:28,807 Hey, Michael! What's up? 252 00:13:28,890 --> 00:13:31,768 Well, Jim and I have a meeting with uni-ball in about 45 minutes, 253 00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:33,854 so we should probably go now. Hey, check this out! 254 00:13:33,937 --> 00:13:36,565 How about that? A little friendly competition. 255 00:13:36,648 --> 00:13:40,235 Stamford versus Scranton. I don't think so... I don't really... 256 00:13:40,819 --> 00:13:45,115 Jim, looks like you picked a bad time to defect, my friend. 257 00:13:45,699 --> 00:13:49,453 Fine, all right. Okay! Excellent. 258 00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:53,040 Do the wing flaps. Oh, just shut it. 259 00:13:54,374 --> 00:13:55,667 Hey, Pam, what's up? 260 00:13:56,835 --> 00:14:01,173 Yeah. No, tell him I will give him general specifics tomorrow, okay? 261 00:14:01,256 --> 00:14:03,383 Yes. Say hi to Pam! 262 00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:04,801 Hi, Pam! Hi, Pam. 263 00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:07,387 Yes. That is Josh and Dwight and Jim. 264 00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:09,056 Pam says hi. 265 00:14:09,639 --> 00:14:10,807 Have fun on your date. 266 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,518 Very good, talk to you later. Bye. 267 00:14:20,108 --> 00:14:21,443 You first! 268 00:14:21,777 --> 00:14:23,028 Come on. 269 00:14:23,111 --> 00:14:24,571 Nice try, Josh! 270 00:14:24,654 --> 00:14:26,656 Not. Hit the... Hit the rim. 271 00:14:26,782 --> 00:14:28,283 Okay, and... 272 00:14:30,577 --> 00:14:32,454 Okay, double or nothing. 273 00:14:32,537 --> 00:14:35,040 On what? We didn't bet anything, Michael, we... 274 00:14:35,123 --> 00:14:37,584 Well, we... Let's... You know, we should go. We gotta go. 275 00:14:37,667 --> 00:14:40,545 Come on. Come on! We'll do it later. 276 00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:41,630 Let's go... 277 00:14:41,755 --> 00:14:43,298 Say, while I have you here, 278 00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:45,342 could I talk to you about some new and exciting advances 279 00:14:45,425 --> 00:14:46,927 to our product line? Fine. 280 00:14:47,260 --> 00:14:48,929 Jim and I have different definitions of friendship. 281 00:14:49,012 --> 00:14:51,181 I think it's talking and being friends, 282 00:14:51,264 --> 00:14:53,392 and Jim thinks it's moving to Connecticut 283 00:14:53,475 --> 00:14:55,936 and being best friends with Josh. Well... 284 00:14:56,436 --> 00:14:59,898 Phooey on that. 285 00:14:59,981 --> 00:15:03,652 I'm done. I am not going to be speaking with him anymore. 286 00:15:04,111 --> 00:15:06,822 Whatevs. Long-distance relationships never work. 287 00:15:06,905 --> 00:15:08,532 That is so true. 288 00:15:09,699 --> 00:15:10,909 Ready? 289 00:15:11,284 --> 00:15:14,454 Okay, let me tell you what we're looking for. Great. 290 00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:18,500 Sorry, my meeting ran late. 291 00:15:19,167 --> 00:15:21,878 Really? Yes, Jan, really, 292 00:15:21,962 --> 00:15:23,255 with the rep from Hammermill. 293 00:15:23,338 --> 00:15:24,631 They're exclusive with Staples. 294 00:15:24,714 --> 00:15:25,882 Used to be. 295 00:15:26,174 --> 00:15:28,176 Evan'll call you in the morning to work out the details. 296 00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:30,345 We can now sell Hammermill products. 297 00:15:30,554 --> 00:15:31,888 Yes! 298 00:15:32,931 --> 00:15:36,852 Well, Michael, I just... I underestimated you. 299 00:15:36,935 --> 00:15:40,522 Yeah, well, maybe next time you will estimate me. 300 00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:45,485 Dwight's room key. 301 00:15:46,361 --> 00:15:48,071 And Dwight's room. 302 00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:51,658 What can I say? Old habits die hard. 303 00:15:51,741 --> 00:15:52,868 D? 304 00:15:54,703 --> 00:15:57,330 Oh, my God! Dwight got a hooker! 305 00:15:58,039 --> 00:16:00,333 Oh, my God, I gotta call... 306 00:16:00,417 --> 00:16:03,128 Well, I gotta call somebody, I don't even know who to call. 307 00:16:03,211 --> 00:16:04,963 Dwight got a hooker! 308 00:16:05,088 --> 00:16:08,508 So, Alan, Pam is obsessed with your cartoons. 309 00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:10,469 She reads them every day. 310 00:16:10,552 --> 00:16:11,928 Oh, great. 311 00:16:12,637 --> 00:16:14,306 I don't like ketchup. You love ketchup! 312 00:16:14,389 --> 00:16:15,849 He loves ketchup. 313 00:16:16,391 --> 00:16:19,144 So how do you come up with your cartoons? 314 00:16:20,979 --> 00:16:24,524 Oh, I just... I kind of think about stuff that I see. 315 00:16:25,108 --> 00:16:26,651 Or dream them. 316 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:30,113 You dream in cartoons? How fun. 317 00:16:33,074 --> 00:16:34,826 Hey! First guest! 318 00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:37,579 You are going to have some tequila, my friend. 319 00:16:38,246 --> 00:16:40,999 I thought there was a party in here. This is the party. 320 00:16:41,082 --> 00:16:43,668 This is Room 308? Party central! 321 00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:46,296 So what can I do you for? All right. 322 00:16:49,841 --> 00:16:51,426 See, this one is great 323 00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:54,471 because it could work on a couple different levels. 324 00:16:56,264 --> 00:16:58,975 "More freedom fries for the table?" 325 00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:01,561 "Freedom fries". Yeah. 326 00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:06,608 Yeah, I mean, people always say, like, "Don't be edgy," 327 00:17:06,691 --> 00:17:09,694 but I don't know... I don't know any other way. 328 00:17:10,862 --> 00:17:12,572 Yeah, you got it. 329 00:17:28,004 --> 00:17:30,507 Well, it was... It was really nice meeting you, Alan. 330 00:17:30,590 --> 00:17:32,175 Yeah, next time bring some of your illustrations. 331 00:17:32,259 --> 00:17:34,052 I'll let you pick my brain. 332 00:17:35,053 --> 00:17:36,721 "More freedom fries"! Yeah! 333 00:17:36,805 --> 00:17:38,306 That's great. Okay. 334 00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:40,016 I went on a date. 335 00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:41,643 It wasn't a love connection. 336 00:17:43,144 --> 00:17:46,898 I think when I like someone again, I'll just kind of know. 337 00:18:06,751 --> 00:18:08,044 Michael. 338 00:18:13,717 --> 00:18:15,385 Am I the first to arrive? 339 00:18:15,969 --> 00:18:18,054 People have been filtering in and out. 340 00:18:20,348 --> 00:18:22,350 Can I get a drink? What? 341 00:18:23,059 --> 00:18:24,769 Can I get a drink? 342 00:18:25,395 --> 00:18:26,605 Sure. 343 00:18:31,192 --> 00:18:34,446 Do you like Cosmos? Yeah, sure, sounds good. 344 00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:38,491 So why are you here? Is Josh busy? 345 00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:40,368 Michael... I get it! 346 00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:42,203 Did I do something or... No. No, I totally get it! 347 00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:44,289 He made a better paper airplane, 348 00:18:44,372 --> 00:18:46,708 Stamford does better in sales. You... 349 00:18:47,917 --> 00:18:50,253 I get it, we had some fun. We had some laughs... 350 00:18:50,337 --> 00:18:53,214 Wait, wait, wait. I didn't transfer because of you. 351 00:18:54,049 --> 00:18:55,550 You're a good boss. 352 00:18:56,176 --> 00:18:57,510 You're a great boss. 353 00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:03,224 I'm not better than Josh. 354 00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:05,477 Michael, it's not about... 355 00:19:07,228 --> 00:19:09,105 I transferred because of Pam. 356 00:19:11,191 --> 00:19:12,567 Oh, my God. 357 00:19:14,736 --> 00:19:16,821 You don't even know. She's single now. 358 00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:19,532 No, I... I heard something about that. 359 00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:23,161 It's just... I kind of put it all on the line. 360 00:19:24,829 --> 00:19:27,707 Twice, actually. And she said no. 361 00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:30,085 Twice. 362 00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:35,632 I'm sorry, man, I'm sorry, it's... 363 00:19:37,926 --> 00:19:39,636 Hey, you know what? I will talk to her. 364 00:19:39,719 --> 00:19:40,845 Nope, that's okay. 365 00:19:40,929 --> 00:19:41,971 Yeah. No, that's all right. 366 00:19:42,055 --> 00:19:44,224 I will. I'll talk to her. 367 00:19:45,475 --> 00:19:47,477 You should at least talk to Roy, 368 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:50,897 I mean, he knows exactly how you're feeling, just... 369 00:19:51,481 --> 00:19:52,607 Yeah. 370 00:19:53,608 --> 00:19:55,110 Okay, maybe. 371 00:19:56,194 --> 00:19:57,237 Are we early? 372 00:19:57,320 --> 00:20:00,407 Hey! No, you know, people have been filtering in and out. 373 00:20:00,990 --> 00:20:03,284 Hey. Evan, this is Jim. How are you? 374 00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:06,371 Hey, Arnie Rissman, Michael, Jim. 375 00:20:06,621 --> 00:20:07,622 Hey, Arnie, how you doing? 376 00:20:08,623 --> 00:20:09,874 You guys work together? 377 00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:11,334 No, we used to. Yeah. 378 00:20:11,418 --> 00:20:13,878 Now we're friends. Best friends. 379 00:20:15,755 --> 00:20:21,136 Some people need dozens of friends to say, "Hey, look at me, I'm popular!” 380 00:20:21,845 --> 00:20:25,140 But not me. I'm very picky. I need three, maybe two. 381 00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:28,727 When you meet that someone special, you'll just know, 382 00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:31,187 because a real relationship, 383 00:20:31,896 --> 00:20:33,648 it can't be forced. 384 00:20:34,315 --> 00:20:37,152 It should just come about effortlessly. 385 00:20:39,654 --> 00:20:43,032 Now would you do me the pleasure of hitting the lights, sir? 386 00:20:49,122 --> 00:20:50,540 What are all those stains? 387 00:20:51,082 --> 00:20:52,500 Blood, urine, or semen. 388 00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:54,461 Oh, God, I hope it's urine.