1
00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:06,297
Dunder Mifflin.
This is Rolando.

2
00:00:06,464 --> 00:00:09,258
Oh, yes. She's been
expecting your call.

3
00:00:12,303 --> 00:00:13,679
Yeah?

4
00:00:13,763 --> 00:00:16,057
Karen?
He's on line 1.

5
00:00:16,140 --> 00:00:18,017
Thanks, Ro.

6
00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:21,896
Hey. We finally connected.
How's Scranton?

7
00:00:21,979 --> 00:00:24,941
I am the regional manager
of Dunder Mifflin, Utica branch.

8
00:00:25,399 --> 00:00:28,110
Turns out it's a pretty easy
gig when your boss isn't an idiot

9
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:30,696
and your boyfriend's not
in love with somebody else.

10
00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:33,574
Look, all I'm saying is it
would be a great opportunity

11
00:00:33,658 --> 00:00:37,745
and we'd love to have you come
aboard. So think about it, okay?

12
00:00:39,288 --> 00:00:41,207
Okay. Bye.

13
00:00:41,290 --> 00:00:45,878
Look, for the record, a certain Scranton
salesman approached me, okay?

14
00:00:46,295 --> 00:00:47,296
This is perfect.

15
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:48,422
He looks
like your twin.

16
00:00:48,506 --> 00:00:51,759
This is a dummy, a la
Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

17
00:00:51,842 --> 00:00:54,512
We have tied a string to the
wrist, which goes to the door.

18
00:00:54,595 --> 00:00:56,931
When somebody opens the
door, the hand goes down,

19
00:00:58,099 --> 00:01:01,477
Hits the remote, turns on the
tape recorder, which is me snoring.

20
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:05,356
Now, nobody knows whether I
am here or whether I am gone.

21
00:01:05,439 --> 00:01:08,651
I'll Know. But you
will not tell anyone.

22
00:01:08,734 --> 00:01:10,820
I won't need to because
we'll be together playing hooky.

23
00:01:10,903 --> 00:01:11,904
Well...
Yeah!

24
00:01:11,988 --> 00:01:14,949
...sometimes. Most of the time
I will be with Ryan. Or Darryl.

25
00:01:15,032 --> 00:01:16,242
Yes.

26
00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:18,327
Oh, good, good.
Stanley. First victim.

27
00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:19,787
This is what
I want you to do.

28
00:01:19,870 --> 00:01:22,123
Go out, come back in.
We're gonna hide.

29
00:01:22,206 --> 00:01:23,958
I want you to tell me
if this looks like me, okay?

30
00:01:24,041 --> 00:01:25,793
I don't understand why
sleeping at your desk

31
00:01:25,876 --> 00:01:26,961
is better than you
not being here.

32
00:01:27,044 --> 00:01:29,005
Just go out
and come back in.

33
00:01:29,171 --> 00:01:34,010
I got an offer from Utica for more
money. And I'm going to take it.

34
00:01:34,176 --> 00:01:35,261
What?

35
00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:12,715
Hi, everyone, can I have
your attention, please?

36
00:02:12,965 --> 00:02:18,304
I just thought you all should know that
Stanley Hudson is planning on leaving us

37
00:02:18,387 --> 00:02:20,598
because our old friend,
Karen from Utica,

38
00:02:20,681 --> 00:02:23,392
is going to give him
more money to work there.

39
00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:26,312
Okay.
No. No, no, no!

40
00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:29,148
No! You completely
misinterpreted my tone!

41
00:02:29,857 --> 00:02:31,442
This is a horrible thing.

42
00:02:31,525 --> 00:02:36,405
Clearly, Karen is trying to get
back at us because Jim dumped her.

43
00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:37,823
Oh, I don't think
that's what's happening.

44
00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:40,451
Okay, well,
smarty pants, then why?

45
00:02:40,534 --> 00:02:43,996
Why is she trying
to take Stanley from us?

46
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:45,790
I think it's because
of my sales record.

47
00:02:45,873 --> 00:02:48,959
That could not
possibly be it.

48
00:02:49,043 --> 00:02:53,005
You cannot take the hilarious
black guy from the office.

49
00:02:53,547 --> 00:02:56,467
Stanley is part of what makes
this branch so extraordinary.

50
00:02:56,550 --> 00:03:01,472
The bluesy wisdom, the sassy
remarks, the crossword puzzles,

51
00:03:01,555 --> 00:03:05,101
the smile, those big,
watery, red eyes.

52
00:03:05,184 --> 00:03:07,520
I don't know how George Bush
did it when Colin Powell left.

53
00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:11,232
And if Utica thinks that they
are going to poach Stanley,

54
00:03:11,315 --> 00:03:12,733
they have another
thing coming.

55
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,158
How can I get you
to stay? Money.

56
00:03:21,242 --> 00:03:24,412
Yeah. We all
want money.

57
00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:27,832
But there is none
in the budget. So,

58
00:03:27,915 --> 00:03:29,291
tell me why
you're really leaving.

59
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:30,751
Money.

60
00:03:31,085 --> 00:03:32,920
Mo' money, mo'
problems, Stanley.

61
00:03:33,003 --> 00:03:37,258
You of all people should know
that. Let me ask you this, if I were...

62
00:03:37,341 --> 00:03:38,843
Money.
Okay.

63
00:03:40,594 --> 00:03:42,805
Oscar,
did you bring it?

64
00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:47,810
To be Edwardian.
His best work.

65
00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:50,563
Okay. Well, I have the
tablecloth. Don't forget the flatware.

66
00:03:50,646 --> 00:03:51,772
Sure thing, Pam.
Can't wait.

67
00:03:52,064 --> 00:03:56,026
Oscar, Toby and I are founding
members of the Finer Things Club.

68
00:03:56,277 --> 00:03:59,989
We meet once a month to discuss
books and art, celebrate culture

69
00:04:00,072 --> 00:04:01,782
in a very civilized way.

70
00:04:02,366 --> 00:04:07,246
Sometimes the debate can get
heated, but we're always respectful.

71
00:04:07,705 --> 00:04:11,375
There is no paper, no plastic
and no work talk allowed.

72
00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:15,129
It's very exclusive.

73
00:04:15,379 --> 00:04:16,922
Besides having sex
with men,

74
00:04:17,006 --> 00:04:20,551
I would say the Finer Things
Club is the gayest thing about me.

75
00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:25,431
So tell me again why I
can't be a part of your club?

76
00:04:25,514 --> 00:04:26,807
Because some people
think that you

77
00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:30,102
monopolize the conversation
by trying to be funny.

78
00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:32,772
Oscar?
Some people.

79
00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:33,939
Hello?

80
00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:35,816
Filippellers!
How are they hanging?

81
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:37,943
Michael. Michael. To
the left? To the right?

82
00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:40,905
Listen, I'm... Okay, enough
small talk. Go ahead.

83
00:04:40,988 --> 00:04:41,989
You called me.

84
00:04:42,072 --> 00:04:43,908
Yes. Listen.

85
00:04:44,158 --> 00:04:45,159
Um...

86
00:04:45,242 --> 00:04:47,453
You cannot tear Stanley
from his family like this.

87
00:04:47,536 --> 00:04:49,955
I'm pretty sure his family
is coming with him.

88
00:04:50,039 --> 00:04:51,248
No, his work family.

89
00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:55,461
Look, this is very hard for me, but I
am going to give you my best man.

90
00:04:55,544 --> 00:04:56,962
You may have Toby.

91
00:04:57,046 --> 00:04:58,714
Toby's not a salesperson.

92
00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:03,511
You can train him. He's very,
very smart and funny and charming.

93
00:05:05,387 --> 00:05:08,933
You know, I can't do it.
Toby is the worst.

94
00:05:09,016 --> 00:05:14,271
That was a bluff. Listen, if you
are going to poach one of my guys,

95
00:05:14,355 --> 00:05:15,898
I am going to poach
one of yours.

96
00:05:15,981 --> 00:05:18,150
Ooh.
Goodbye, Michael.

97
00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:19,485
Okay. Goodbye.

98
00:05:19,568 --> 00:05:21,320
Wait! Wait! Karen!

99
00:05:21,403 --> 00:05:24,949
Could you transfer me to one of your
salespeople, please? Your best one.

100
00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:31,705
I have Ben Nugent on the line.
He is the top salesman in Utica.

101
00:05:31,789 --> 00:05:33,791
Hi, Ben. Michael
Scott. Hi, Michael.

102
00:05:33,874 --> 00:05:36,168
I am going to cut right
to the chase here.

103
00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:39,964
Do you like magic? Because
I am a genie in a bottle

104
00:05:40,047 --> 00:05:42,508
and I am going to
grant you three wishes,

105
00:05:42,591 --> 00:05:47,263
to move to Scranton, to have a
great job and to be my best friend.

106
00:05:47,346 --> 00:05:49,723
Aren't you the guy that hit
the woman with your car?

107
00:05:50,891 --> 00:05:52,643
Get out.

108
00:05:52,977 --> 00:05:58,691
Yeah. I also saved her life,
but I guess that's not as grabby.

109
00:05:58,774 --> 00:06:01,902
Everyone says Scranton branch
is worse than Camden.

110
00:06:01,986 --> 00:06:04,613
Didn't everyone from
Stamford quit like immediately?

111
00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:07,074
No, I fired them
and you're next.

112
00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:12,246
So, what do you say?

113
00:06:12,329 --> 00:06:13,539
Seriously?

114
00:06:13,622 --> 00:06:17,418
What is that guy
talking about? Scranton is not lame.

115
00:06:17,501 --> 00:06:21,839
Scranton is the cool, fun
branch. We're like Animal House.

116
00:06:23,507 --> 00:06:27,887
Found him! Jim!
We're getting crapped on.

117
00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:30,890
Word is our branch sucks and
we have to do something about it.

118
00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:32,808
So what are you going to do?
What are we going to do?

119
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:35,728
We are going to make a monster
sale is what we're going to do.

120
00:06:35,811 --> 00:06:37,646
Corcoran dropped Staples.
Did they?

121
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:41,483
Yes, they did. Oh, yes they
did and we are going to murder it.

122
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:46,488
You, me, Dwight are going to jump in my PT
Cruiser, we are going to crush this sale.

123
00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:49,992
We are going to prove...
What the hell is that music?

124
00:06:50,075 --> 00:06:51,911
It's Vivaldi.
For Finer Things.

125
00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:54,163
That's the problem.
That's the problem.

126
00:06:54,246 --> 00:06:58,626
We need rock n' roll, Pam.
Rock n' roll. All right?

127
00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:02,296
Oh, my God.

128
00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:06,967
That's why people
are leaving.

129
00:07:07,843 --> 00:07:08,844
I...

130
00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:11,805
I have no words.

131
00:07:24,568 --> 00:07:26,236
We just passed
the exit for Corcoran.

132
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,822
What? What?
We did?

133
00:07:28,906 --> 00:07:32,785
Surprise! Yeah!

134
00:07:32,868 --> 00:07:34,912
Look at his face!
Look at his face!

135
00:07:34,995 --> 00:07:35,996
What are we doing?
Egg dripping.

136
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:37,122
So psyched.

137
00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:39,083
What are doing, Dwight?
What are we doing?

138
00:07:39,166 --> 00:07:42,127
Oh, well, gee, Jim, I don't know. I
guess there's no sales call today.

139
00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:46,507
We are going on a panty raid
to Utica is what we're doing.

140
00:07:46,590 --> 00:07:48,384
We're going to Utica?
Uh-huh!

141
00:07:49,718 --> 00:07:53,222
I'm not going to Utica right now.
Yes, you are. Oh, buckle up, Jim.

142
00:07:53,305 --> 00:07:55,265
We are going
to make Karen wish

143
00:07:55,349 --> 00:07:57,309
that she had never
been dumped by you.

144
00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:02,314
Utica! Utica! Utica!
Utica! Utica! Utica!

145
00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:04,775
Utica.
Utica.

146
00:08:04,858 --> 00:08:07,069
In your face!
Yow!

147
00:08:07,152 --> 00:08:11,615
I can't believe you guys. I'm not going
to go further piss off my ex-girlfriend.

148
00:08:11,699 --> 00:08:13,367
Are you calling Karen?
No, I'm not calling Karen.

149
00:08:13,450 --> 00:08:16,245
He's lying.
Yeah. Get it.

150
00:08:16,328 --> 00:08:18,497
What are you doing?
Stop it! Dwight!

151
00:08:20,207 --> 00:08:21,458
Are you kidding me?

152
00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:23,627
No communication with
the outside world, Jim.

153
00:08:23,711 --> 00:08:26,213
Had to be done.
It had to be done.

154
00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:28,173
Well, that kind of sucks

155
00:08:28,257 --> 00:08:31,427
because it had all the photos
of my brother's new baby on it.

156
00:08:31,510 --> 00:08:33,345
So...

157
00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:37,099
Oh, that is too bad.
Shoot.

158
00:08:46,608 --> 00:08:49,820
Okay. Hey, Dwight, he found it.

159
00:08:49,903 --> 00:08:51,739
You know what? I'm just
going to call a cab from here.

160
00:08:51,822 --> 00:08:54,575
All right. You're going to
miss the best prank ever.

161
00:08:54,783 --> 00:09:00,164
All right. Wait, what are
you planning on doing?

162
00:09:02,249 --> 00:09:03,292
Do you really
want to know?

163
00:09:03,375 --> 00:09:04,376
Oh, God.

164
00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:06,879
Follow me. Come here.
Here's what we brought.

165
00:09:06,962 --> 00:09:09,214
We brought uniforms
from the warehouse.

166
00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:10,799
I brought Silly String.

167
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:13,802
Dwight brought gasoline and
chunks of rubber to make stink bombs.

168
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:16,513
Or real bombs. No,
no. Not real bombs.

169
00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:18,432
Yeah, come on.
It will be so bad ass.

170
00:09:18,515 --> 00:09:21,310
Oh, maybe. I don't
know. I don't know.

171
00:09:21,393 --> 00:09:23,687
It could be bad
ass. It will. No. No.

172
00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:26,023
Yeah, it will. No, absolutely
we're not doing this.

173
00:09:26,106 --> 00:09:29,526
Come on. I already filled the bottles
with the gas. It's going to be so bad ass.

174
00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:32,988
Are you kidding me? We've been driving
around with this in the trunk the whole time?

175
00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:35,699
Teach her to offer
Stanley more money.

176
00:09:37,284 --> 00:09:42,873
So, the deal was Dwight doesn't
blow anything up and I wear a costume.

177
00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:46,627
And a mustache.

178
00:09:49,296 --> 00:09:52,132
So, why did you
and Karen break up?

179
00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:53,926
Was it the sex?
What?

180
00:09:54,009 --> 00:09:55,260
I can't imagine
the sex being bad.

181
00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:56,929
I mean, her body IS awesome.
Okay, you know what?

182
00:09:57,012 --> 00:09:59,807
Why don't we play that alphabet
game that you were talking about?

183
00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:03,685
Okay, I will start. A.

184
00:10:03,769 --> 00:10:07,064
A, my name is
Alan and my wife's name is Alice

185
00:10:07,147 --> 00:10:11,235
We live in Alaska
and we sell...

186
00:10:11,318 --> 00:10:13,987
Damn it.
What can we sell?

187
00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:16,198
Doesn't matter. I'm trying
to think of what we can sell.

188
00:10:16,281 --> 00:10:18,200
It doesn't matter.

189
00:10:18,283 --> 00:10:24,164
What is that? That sound. The air
conditioning leaking or something?

190
00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:26,583
That doesn't make sense.
Couldn't be.

191
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,127
What is that?

192
00:10:30,462 --> 00:10:32,923
Dwight,
are you peeing?

193
00:10:33,006 --> 00:10:34,550
I'm peeing in this
empty can. Oh, my God!

194
00:10:34,633 --> 00:10:36,635
Oh, come on, man.
That is disgusting, Dwight!

195
00:10:36,718 --> 00:10:38,929
You said we couldn't make
any more stops. I really had to go.

196
00:10:39,012 --> 00:10:40,222
Michael, watch
the road! Oh, God!

197
00:10:40,305 --> 00:10:41,890
Hey, you're making
me spray! Oh, my God!

198
00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:45,018
I'm going to kill you, man!
Michael, Michael, pull over!

199
00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:46,520
That is just so
disgusting! Pull over.

200
00:10:46,603 --> 00:10:48,313
I think I cut
my penis on the lid.

201
00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:53,193
Can you imagine a life where all you have
to do is summer in the Italian countryside?

202
00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:58,365
I know, right? I just want to go and
look at art and swim in the Adriatic.

203
00:10:58,574 --> 00:11:02,369
And spend time with George
Emerson. That's what I would do.

204
00:11:02,578 --> 00:11:04,538
I mean, he's the best male
protagonist we've read, right?

205
00:11:04,621 --> 00:11:08,792
Totally. I mean, come on. Such
a free spirit. What are you doing?

206
00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:12,462
Just came to discuss my
favorite E.M. Forster novel.

207
00:11:13,338 --> 00:11:18,093
Pam, these finger sandwiches
look finger-licking delicious, Pam.

208
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:21,054
I'm sorry, Andy,
but this is a closed club.

209
00:11:24,808 --> 00:11:29,229
The Finer Things Club is the
most exclusive club in this office.

210
00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:31,607
Naturally, it's where
I need to be.

211
00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:35,986
The Party Planning Committee is my
backup and Kevin's band is my safety.

212
00:11:36,069 --> 00:11:37,154
Fine.

213
00:11:39,114 --> 00:11:42,159
I'll just...

214
00:11:42,242 --> 00:11:47,664
Sit here in the common area
and read my book,

215
00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:50,083
which just happens to be the
very same book you're reading.

216
00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:53,045
All right, just know you're
not in the Finer Things Club.

217
00:11:53,128 --> 00:11:55,214
Why can't I be
in the club?

218
00:11:56,423 --> 00:11:59,384
I can't believe we're here. I
can't believe this is happening.

219
00:11:59,509 --> 00:12:00,844
Believe it.

220
00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:02,346
Afro wig?
Do you want the afro wig?

221
00:12:02,429 --> 00:12:04,348
No. Michael,
I'm not leaving the car.

222
00:12:04,431 --> 00:12:06,475
Oh, God. All right,
Dwight? Yeah.

223
00:12:06,558 --> 00:12:08,310
Here's how it's going
to go down. You and I...

224
00:12:09,144 --> 00:12:10,646
Guy's
going by. Shh.

225
00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:14,316
You and I are going to sneak inside,
pretend that we are warehouse workers.

226
00:12:14,399 --> 00:12:16,902
Then we will Silly String
the bejesus out of the place.

227
00:12:16,985 --> 00:12:20,572
And if we have to defend ourselves, I
will stab the security guard in the eye

228
00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:23,951
with a jumbo chalk. No.
No, you won't do that. Nope.

229
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:26,411
Then I'll grind up the jumbo
chalk and blow it in his eyes.

230
00:12:26,495 --> 00:12:29,122
Dwight, nothing with
the eyes. Please?

231
00:12:30,749 --> 00:12:32,084
Okay, Jim.

232
00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:35,921
Oh, my God, that's her. That's her.
Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go.

233
00:12:36,004 --> 00:12:38,465
Move. Move. Move.
Move. Move. MICHAEL: Shut up.

234
00:12:38,548 --> 00:12:40,175
This is the dumbest thing
we've ever done.

235
00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:52,562
I think it's interesting
how Forster uses Italy

236
00:12:52,646 --> 00:12:55,857
to represent sexuality
and passion

237
00:12:55,941 --> 00:13:00,487
and that also brought up themes
of, you know, fate and coincidence

238
00:13:00,570 --> 00:13:02,990
and Lucy's torn between
these two things.

239
00:13:03,073 --> 00:13:05,242
She's torn between
passion and convention.

240
00:13:05,325 --> 00:13:06,702
Damn it.

241
00:13:07,744 --> 00:13:09,079
It just...

242
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,710
To be making the case
for passion

243
00:13:14,793 --> 00:13:16,795
in Edwardian times
I thought was...

244
00:13:16,878 --> 00:13:18,588
Yes! Got it.

245
00:13:21,508 --> 00:13:22,509
Damn it.

246
00:13:24,344 --> 00:13:29,182
Made him sort of ahead of his time as a
writer. Very brave choice, I thought, also.

247
00:13:29,558 --> 00:13:34,062
And George's
youthfulness, his freedom

248
00:13:35,188 --> 00:13:38,984
evokes feelings...

249
00:13:42,904 --> 00:13:44,364
What are you
microwaving?

250
00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:45,699
Popcorn.

251
00:13:45,782 --> 00:13:48,201
Why don't you use the
microwave in the kitchen, Phyllis?

252
00:13:48,285 --> 00:13:51,496
Someone needs to clean it.
It smells like popcorn.

253
00:13:58,378 --> 00:14:00,589
So, Stanley, are you
really out of here?

254
00:14:00,672 --> 00:14:02,549
Yeah. Looks that way.

255
00:14:04,259 --> 00:14:06,720
I'm going to miss you, man.

256
00:14:06,803 --> 00:14:12,100
You've been like an uncle to
me. Like a kind old Uncle Remus.

257
00:14:13,393 --> 00:14:15,145
I want to stay
in touch.

258
00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:21,443
We are in the stairwell.

259
00:14:21,526 --> 00:14:23,445
We're climbing
some stairs.

260
00:14:25,989 --> 00:14:27,616
I am breathing heavily.
Okay, you know what?

261
00:14:27,699 --> 00:14:30,577
You really don't need to be updating
me as much as you're updating me.

262
00:14:30,660 --> 00:14:33,830
- There's a guy. There's a guy.
- There's a security guard coming by.

263
00:14:33,955 --> 00:14:37,584
Hello. We're warehouse workers.
Would you like more proof?

264
00:14:38,502 --> 00:14:39,503
Okay.

265
00:14:39,586 --> 00:14:41,588
Oh, my God.
That was very close.

266
00:14:41,671 --> 00:14:43,173
I can see
the security guard's eyes.

267
00:14:43,256 --> 00:14:45,509
No. No. Don't do
anything to them.

268
00:14:45,592 --> 00:14:47,636
I have to do something
to his eyes.

269
00:14:47,719 --> 00:14:50,514
The eyes are the groin
of the head.

270
00:14:51,306 --> 00:14:55,143
All right, Great Scott, if you found that
choking hazard poster, just head on home.

271
00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:59,773
We've got something far better,
their crown jewel. Their industrial copier.

272
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:01,983
Isn't that thing huge?

273
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:07,364
It's enormous, but it's got wheels. We're
wheeling it down the hall into the stairwell.

274
00:15:07,864 --> 00:15:10,492
Get the car ready,
keep the engine running.

275
00:15:10,575 --> 00:15:13,245
No. That is a terrible idea.
Don't do this.

276
00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:16,623
My hip bone!

277
00:15:16,706 --> 00:15:21,628
We're wedged between the copier and
the railing! I'm stuck. Oh, my left hip!

278
00:15:21,711 --> 00:15:23,922
Leave us, Jim! Leave
us. Save yourself. Help us. No!

279
00:15:24,005 --> 00:15:26,258
Don't leave us. Help us.
We need help, Jim!

280
00:15:26,341 --> 00:15:29,511
Okay, first of all, stop using
my name. And second of all...

281
00:15:29,594 --> 00:15:30,762
You got to move out!

282
00:15:30,846 --> 00:15:33,390
Damn it, guys. Would you
just move over a little bit?

283
00:15:33,473 --> 00:15:34,891
I'm losing
control of my bladder!

284
00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:37,686
Oh, my God. Oh, my
God. Karen's back.

285
00:15:37,769 --> 00:15:41,231
Is that Karen? MICHAEL:
Take her to a motel. Make love to her, Jim.

286
00:15:41,314 --> 00:15:43,108
No. I'm not doing that.

287
00:15:43,191 --> 00:15:44,818
Just say you want
to get back together.

288
00:15:44,901 --> 00:15:46,319
No. I'm not doing that.

289
00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:49,948
It doesn't have to mean
anything. Just do it for Stanley.

290
00:15:50,574 --> 00:15:54,327
Come on, Jim. Just climb on top of
her and think about Stanley. Oh, God.

291
00:15:55,579 --> 00:15:58,582
Jim, if this is it for me,
promise me something.

292
00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:02,711
Jim?
Host the Dundies.

293
00:16:05,088 --> 00:16:06,465
Hey, Karen.

294
00:16:08,425 --> 00:16:09,968
What are you doing here?

295
00:16:10,051 --> 00:16:11,928
First of all, hi.

296
00:16:12,387 --> 00:16:13,555
What are you doing here?

297
00:16:13,638 --> 00:16:14,848
You good?

298
00:16:16,558 --> 00:16:18,435
I'm just checking
on the other branches.

299
00:16:18,518 --> 00:16:21,229
Michael wants me to do that
from time to time. So...

300
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:24,566
Do not tell Karen
about the industrial copier.

301
00:16:24,649 --> 00:16:26,818
Copy that.

302
00:16:27,194 --> 00:16:31,948
I cried for weeks over that guy, so
yeah, seeing him climb out of a PT Cruiser

303
00:16:32,032 --> 00:16:35,368
in a ladies' warehouse
uniform felt pretty good.

304
00:16:36,828 --> 00:16:40,081
Let me ask you, did you
accomplish what you wanted?

305
00:16:40,248 --> 00:16:43,919
Listen, lady, you can expect
these kind of repercussions

306
00:16:44,002 --> 00:16:46,296
as long as you keep trying
to poach our people.

307
00:16:46,379 --> 00:16:47,964
I'm taking Stanley.

308
00:16:48,048 --> 00:16:50,926
Then we will burn Utica
to the ground.

309
00:16:51,009 --> 00:16:52,010
Dwight.

310
00:16:54,679 --> 00:16:58,308
Granted, maybe this
was not the best idea,

311
00:16:58,391 --> 00:17:02,187
but at least we care enough
about our employees

312
00:17:02,270 --> 00:17:04,940
that we are willing
to fight for them.

313
00:17:05,941 --> 00:17:09,236
And if you so much as harm
a hair on Stanley's head,

314
00:17:11,154 --> 00:17:13,573
we will burn Utica
to the ground.

315
00:17:21,498 --> 00:17:23,416
Jim, hang on a second?
Yes.

316
00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:29,965
So you're still doing
this kind of stuff, huh?

317
00:17:30,048 --> 00:17:32,300
Yeah. Trying to quit,
though.

318
00:17:33,176 --> 00:17:36,179
If you wanted to see me, you could
have just called me like an adult.

319
00:17:36,263 --> 00:17:38,807
Oh, no, I didn't
want to see you.

320
00:17:38,890 --> 00:17:42,102
Not that I'm not happy
to be seeing you right now.

321
00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:45,564
I'm just saying ultimately I
was here for the copier. Equal.

322
00:17:45,647 --> 00:17:48,483
I'd say it was equal.
So, good to see you.

323
00:17:51,653 --> 00:17:53,905
I mean, it's just that,
you know,

324
00:17:53,989 --> 00:17:57,951
Pam and I are still dating
so... And I just mean that

325
00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:02,706
things are going really well
so I didn't want to see you.

326
00:18:03,164 --> 00:18:09,212
Oh, things are going really well? Are they?
They are? That's great. That's so great.

327
00:18:09,296 --> 00:18:11,798
I want to hear more about
how happy you are with Pam.

328
00:18:11,881 --> 00:18:15,552
Can you tell me more about that?
Thank you so much for coming to Utica

329
00:18:15,635 --> 00:18:19,598
and breaking my copier and telling me how
well things are going in your relationship.

330
00:18:19,681 --> 00:18:20,932
Really.
Thank you.

331
00:18:21,016 --> 00:18:27,564
All right. You are welcome. I
am going to go because of traffic.

332
00:18:27,647 --> 00:18:29,649
Traffic. Yeah.
Oh, definitely. So...

333
00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:33,278
Go... Go because of traffic.
Definitely. Beat the traffic.

334
00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:35,822
I will.

335
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:44,831
We tried and we failed.

336
00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:51,421
Stanley, you may go.

337
00:18:52,964 --> 00:18:58,470
Here is a box
for your things.

338
00:19:00,889 --> 00:19:05,393
But I doubt that that box will be
able to contain all the memories that

339
00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:07,354
you have of this place.

340
00:19:09,439 --> 00:19:13,068
Fly away, sweet little bird.
Fly away and be free.

341
00:19:14,903 --> 00:19:15,904
Pam.

342
00:19:17,155 --> 00:19:20,283
I'm going to need some help
writing a want ad.

343
00:19:23,703 --> 00:19:28,708
Wanted. Middle-aged
black man with sass.

344
00:19:28,792 --> 00:19:31,920
Big butt. Bigger heart.

345
00:19:32,295 --> 00:19:34,714
I can't do this.

346
00:19:34,798 --> 00:19:37,717
Michael, a word?

347
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,095
Of course.

348
00:19:42,847 --> 00:19:46,017
I changed my mind.
I want to keep this job.

349
00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:48,353
Really?

350
00:19:48,436 --> 00:19:52,482
I wasn't really planning on
leaving. All I wanted was a raise.

351
00:19:52,565 --> 00:19:58,238
How on Earth did Michael call my
bluff? Is he some sort of secret genius?

352
00:20:00,281 --> 00:20:02,450
Sometimes I say
crazy things.

353
00:20:07,288 --> 00:20:08,373
Hey.

354
00:20:08,456 --> 00:20:11,376
I'm so sorry. Rolando
told me everything.

355
00:20:13,169 --> 00:20:14,754
How humiliating.

356
00:20:16,214 --> 00:20:19,175
Would it help you
to return to another age,

357
00:20:19,259 --> 00:20:23,596
a time of refinement
and civility?

358
00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:27,976
Are you inviting me
to the Finer Things Club?

359
00:20:28,059 --> 00:20:29,936
Oh, oh, come on!

360
00:20:32,856 --> 00:20:35,150
Angela's
Ashes. Top of the morning to it.

361
00:20:35,233 --> 00:20:38,194
Frankie's prose is finer
than a pot of gold, say I.

362
00:20:39,237 --> 00:20:43,032
Okay. Did you get it
out of your system?

363
00:20:43,116 --> 00:20:47,537
Yup. No, I mean I really liked
it. I thought it was a fun read.

364
00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:48,913
Mmm-hmm.
Fun?

365
00:20:48,997 --> 00:20:50,248
Really?
Yeah.

366
00:20:50,331 --> 00:20:54,169
What was fun about it for you?
Was it the death of the twins?

367
00:20:56,504 --> 00:20:58,548
No, that wasn't fun.

368
00:20:59,048 --> 00:21:00,341
Did you even
read it?

369
00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:01,843
Of course
I read it.

370
00:21:01,926 --> 00:21:03,094
How does it end?

371
00:21:03,178 --> 00:21:04,929
Who was the main
character?

372
00:21:06,222 --> 00:21:10,268
Angela. Nope.
The ashes.