1
00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:03,210
Back orders
and you never
called them

2
00:00:04,421 --> 00:00:07,297
Can you believe this?
There's a dog
in the car.

3
00:00:09,592 --> 00:00:11,427
You can't leave a dog
in a parked car!

4
00:00:11,928 --> 00:00:13,846
Snowboarder, it figures

5
00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:15,389
Do snowboarders
hate animals?

6
00:00:15,473 --> 00:00:17,641
l bet this guy
didn't leave his weed
in the car

7
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:21,228
Okay, we have to do something
because this is
incredibly dangerous.

8
00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:22,563
Oscar, it's not
that hot out

9
00:00:22,647 --> 00:00:24,773
A car parked in the sun
is like a toaster oven.

10
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:27,276
Well, we don't know how long
the driver's been gone

11
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:29,111
and it's not
in direct sunlight

12
00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:31,363
So what, Andy?
You want to just
let him die, you scumbag?

13
00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:33,490
Here, I'm going
to get in my car

14
00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:37,077
When I start dying,
I will honk
the horn three times

15
00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:38,871
That means
save the dog

16
00:00:38,955 --> 00:00:40,039
DWIGHT: Okay
you know what?

17
00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:41,457
I'm going to give him
something to drink

18
00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:42,541
Come here, doggy

19
00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:43,709
(WHISTLING)

20
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:46,128
Come on

21
00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:47,212
Dwight
at least aim it

22
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:48,547
There you go
Here, doggy.

23
00:00:48,631 --> 00:00:50,132
He's not even trying
Come here
doggy, come on.

24
00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:51,467
We're losing
cloud cover.

25
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:53,218
Don't try to get in
on it now, Michael Vick

26
00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:55,304
Hey, hey, hey
Vick did his time

27
00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:58,348
This guy's been gone
long enough. He's lost
his right to a window.

28
00:00:58,433 --> 00:00:59,600
Get back, buddy
Get back

29
00:00:59,684 --> 00:01:00,893
Oscar, what are you
What... No, hey

30
00:01:00,977 --> 00:01:02,144
(ALL EXCLAIMING)

31
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:05,481
All right

32
00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:06,899
MEREDITH: Yeah

33
00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:08,650
JIM: Nice job, Oscar

34
00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:11,153
And one
for good measure.
(ALL GASPING)

35
00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:12,529
Yeah

36
00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:14,823
So, who's going
to take the dog?

37
00:01:15,116 --> 00:01:16,492
Why would we
take the dog?

38
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:18,368
What if he jumps out
the window and runs away?

39
00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:20,704
Jim, he's not
going to start...
(BARKING)

40
00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:21,997
OSCAR: Stay, stay

41
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,707
Nein. Sitz!

42
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:25,417
Gut.

43
00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:27,711
Oscar, what do you want to do?
This is kind of your deal.

44
00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:29,171
You want a dog?

45
00:01:33,384 --> 00:01:34,927
There we go
that should do it

46
00:01:35,011 --> 00:01:37,012
Yeah, it's good.
It'll work

47
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,055
JIM: Nice job

48
00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:39,681
Bye, poochie
Bye, doggy

49
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,433
(BARKING)
Bye

50
00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:43,936
(CAR HORN HONKING)
(BARKING)

51
00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:47,106
(HORN BLARING)

52
00:02:08,711 --> 00:02:10,796
What's that come to?
Like, what did
they each win?

53
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,465
Oh, man, it's gotta
be over $1 00,000.

54
00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:14,842
Yeah, before taxes

55
00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:16,718
PHYLLIS: That's still
a lot of money

56
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:19,763
The warehouse crew won
the lottery yesterday.

57
00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:22,808
$950,000.

58
00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:24,268
And then they quit.

59
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:26,061
And no one else
can focus.

60
00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:27,354
This is it.

61
00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:28,772
This is all
on my shoulders.

62
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:30,983
I'm the one who has to tell
everyone to get back to work

63
00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:33,652
I'm the one who has
to tell Darryl to hire
a new warehouse crew

64
00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:36,905
I'm the one who has
to say those things.

65
00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:39,074
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)

66
00:02:40,451 --> 00:02:41,493
Hello?

67
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:45,414
Justine. (LAUGHING)

68
00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:47,749
Nice surprise.
How you doing, baby?

69
00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:51,837
No, no, no.
l didn't win

70
00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:53,338
When I got promoted
I stopped...

71
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:54,464
What?

72
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:57,217
Yeah, Glenn won

73
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:02,181
You want to call him?
Yeah, you should call him

74
00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:03,765
Congratulate him
That would be

75
00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:05,767
What?

76
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:09,229
His number is
in your old phone

77
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:11,023
Oh, you know what?
I might have it right

78
00:03:11,107 --> 00:03:12,191
(PHONE BEEPING OFF)
Whoops.

79
00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:15,861
When I worked
in the warehouse, I was
part of that lotto pool.

80
00:03:16,654 --> 00:03:17,738
They won

81
00:03:18,781 --> 00:03:20,324
playing my birthday

82
00:03:20,783 --> 00:03:23,535
What really interests me
is the group dynamic
of six people

83
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:24,620
winning the lottery

84
00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:25,829
This will not
end well, right?

85
00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:27,039
Yeah

86
00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:28,457
We're looking at
at least one suicide

87
00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:30,334
and one weird sex thing.
At least

88
00:03:30,668 --> 00:03:32,294
l don't even know what
I'd do with all that money

89
00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:33,712
l know what you'd do
with all that money

90
00:03:33,796 --> 00:03:36,632
"Hey, Pam
Let's buy expensive
bathrobes and hug.'

91
00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:39,092
No, I'd probably
buy a big piece
of land in Maine

92
00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:41,178
build a house
work in town.

93
00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:43,722
Somewhere I could
bike to or kayak to.

94
00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:45,974
I'd either bike to my job
at the kayak shop

95
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,060
or I'd kayak to my job
at the bike shop.

96
00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:49,519
And then on the weekends
would you hacky sack

97
00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:51,605
back to reality and spend time
with your wife and kids?

98
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:54,233
Whoa, Saucy
I thought you
liked Maine.

99
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:56,693
l think we should get
a townhouse in Soho

100
00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:58,195
Soho's mostly lofts
but okay

101
00:03:58,696 --> 00:04:01,448
And then, every morning
I'd walk out onto my terrace

102
00:04:01,532 --> 00:04:04,243
and I would breathe in
the inspiration of the city

103
00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:07,579
You know, and just gather
ideas for my painting

104
00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:08,789
Oh, God

105
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,582
And then my
handsome husband

106
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:11,875
Which, ideally
would be me.

107
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,043
Would bring me
a flavored coffee

108
00:04:13,127 --> 00:04:15,504
Stop. I'm a barista
in your fantasy?

109
00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:17,422
Well, in your fantasy
we're Stephen King
characters

110
00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:18,799
l don't know
about Stephen King

111
00:04:18,883 --> 00:04:21,009
Get a divorce
Get a divorce

112
00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:22,928
I think I would
keep working

113
00:04:23,012 --> 00:04:26,515
And for my salary,
I guess I would take
like, $1 a year.

114
00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:29,935
Obviously, I wouldn't
come in till noon

115
00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:32,020
And I wouldn't do anything
I didn't want to do

116
00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:36,483
I mean, I'm getting paid
$1 a year, okay?
You can chill

117
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,986
Are you kidding me?

118
00:04:39,195 --> 00:04:41,446
Guys, if I have to ask you
to get back to work
one more time

119
00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,407
I'm gonna change my tone

120
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,409
(IN DEEP VOICE)
To down here, like Mr. T

121
00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:47,703
And this would get
seriously annoying

122
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:50,747
I feel sympathy for the jerks
who have to listen
to this all day

123
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:52,291
Darryl

124
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:53,750
How we doing on
the new warehouse guys?

125
00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:54,876
I don't know

126
00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:57,296
What... Do we have
new guys?

127
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:58,380
No

128
00:04:58,464 --> 00:04:59,756
Are they on
their way over?

129
00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:00,841
l haven't hired anyone

130
00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:02,467
What? No warehouse guys?

131
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:04,803
I have an important order
that has to go out by 5:00

132
00:05:04,887 --> 00:05:06,471
l e-mailed you about it

133
00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:08,390
I'm not checking
e-mail till lunch

134
00:05:09,058 --> 00:05:10,267
Four hour work week

135
00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:11,643
ANDY: This is kind of
time-sensitive

136
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:13,020
l got it. I'm doing it

137
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:16,898
Andy, this is a seriously
big order. I can't
lose this client.

138
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:18,525
All right, well
until we have a new crew

139
00:05:18,609 --> 00:05:20,110
let's get some volunteers
for warehouse duty

140
00:05:20,194 --> 00:05:21,236
Who's in?

141
00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:22,821
As long as you guys
don't need me up here

142
00:05:22,905 --> 00:05:24,740
l think we'll be fine
No, we don't.

143
00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:27,117
Really? Nobody's going
to help her?

144
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:29,286
Is chivalry dead?
Are you volunteering?

145
00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:31,413
Of course, I would

146
00:05:31,914 --> 00:05:33,832
But my hip

147
00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:35,334
I would kill
to be at 100%

148
00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:36,460
ANDY: Jim, how about you?

149
00:05:36,544 --> 00:05:37,711
Yeah. l mean

150
00:05:37,795 --> 00:05:39,963
as the strongest person
in this office,
I guess I should

151
00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:41,506
Okay, no, no

152
00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:44,301
That... You are
so not... Oh, God

153
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:45,427
(GRUNTS)

154
00:05:45,803 --> 00:05:48,889
False. Andy,
l will volunteer

155
00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:50,349
Great

156
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,017
And Kevin

157
00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:53,101
(SIGHING)

158
00:05:53,394 --> 00:05:57,272
Good old Kevin.
He'll do anything

159
00:05:57,690 --> 00:05:59,024
Well, guess what?

160
00:05:59,108 --> 00:06:01,943
l will not do
a good job.

161
00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,032
Thank you
Sure.

162
00:06:07,116 --> 00:06:08,283
Wait, wait.
What's this?

163
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:10,744
Oh, sorry

164
00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:13,246
l thought it was a
guess-your-baby's-birth-weight
pool.

165
00:06:13,664 --> 00:06:16,083
It says "lotto pool'
right on top.

166
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:17,793
Yeah, and I said sorry

167
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:20,420
Oh, come on

168
00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:22,547
You really think
I'm going to have
a 14-pound baby?

169
00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:29,846
(KNOCKING)

170
00:06:30,848 --> 00:06:32,307
When did l get so fat?

171
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:33,850
You look awesome

172
00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:35,685
I didn't hire anyone,
if that's why you're here

173
00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:36,978
Where are we
in the process?

174
00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:38,897
l have a file
of applicants here

175
00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:41,566
I just gotta open it
look at it,

176
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:43,485
interview a bunch of guys
hire some of them.

177
00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:45,821
So I say we're
in the early stages
of the process.

178
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:48,615
Did you go out celebrating
with the guys last night?

179
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:50,700
They guys did
invite me out
to celebrate,

180
00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:52,994
but l decided
to just stay home

181
00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:55,664
Eat a bunch of tacos
in my basement

182
00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:57,707
You do have
a fantastic basement

183
00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:58,834
l did

184
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,170
l did have
a fantastic basement

185
00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:05,507
Now it smells
like tacos.

186
00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:08,176
You can't air out
a basement

187
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:10,470
And taco air is heavy

188
00:07:11,013 --> 00:07:12,889
It settles
at the lowest point

189
00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:17,227
Right. Um

190
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:20,188
Well, how about we take
a look at some applications?

191
00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:22,899
This guy wrote his
in green ink.

192
00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:24,234
That's pretty cool
Check it out.

193
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:30,782
Hey

194
00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:32,951
There you go
There he is

195
00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:36,079
That is not Darryl

196
00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:38,457
l don't know where Darryl is
l suspect, probably,

197
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:42,043
our Darryl is inside
of Fat Darryl.

198
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:46,256
Okay, 300 boxes
of 20-pound white

199
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:50,135
That's 75 boxes per person
So, that's not so bad.

200
00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:51,219
Negative

201
00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:54,514
Three hundred boxes for me
zero for you chumps

202
00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:55,807
Deal with it

203
00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:58,185
Nice

204
00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:01,188
Oh, oh, oh

205
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,357
Damn

206
00:08:04,775 --> 00:08:06,401
(SCREAMING)

207
00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:18,914
Yup

208
00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:25,128
Welcome, everybody

209
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:29,174
My name is Andy,
and this is
my other brother, Darryl

210
00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:33,720
What? No Newhart fans?

211
00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:35,555
Okay

212
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,599
Darryl, how do we usually
kick these things off?

213
00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:41,436
You mean, what did we do
the last time the warehouse
won the lottery?

214
00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:42,938
Your old crew
won the lottery?

215
00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:48,360
Does anyone have experience
shelving, storing
keeping track...

216
00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:49,986
What do we use?
The Dewey Decimal System?

217
00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:52,364
Wait, wait.
So, all the
old guys quit?

218
00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:53,532
Oh, yeah
Well

219
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:56,660
One of them, Glenn
is starting one
of those fat camps

220
00:08:56,744 --> 00:08:58,411
where he steals your kid
in the middle of the night

221
00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:01,248
Madge and a couple
other guys might start
a strip club.

222
00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:02,541
But on a boat

223
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:07,796
And Hide is investing
in an energy drink
for Asian homosexuals

224
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,005
(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)

225
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:11,716
Could you guys
give us a minute?

226
00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:14,511
But stay close
You're all doing great

227
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,722
Maybe grab a coffee
or if there's any donuts out

228
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:18,848
you can split one

229
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:21,643
You know
they're for everybody
so people get fussy

230
00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:24,479
You know what?
Just have a donut

231
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,199
Do you want to talk about this
not-winning-the-lottery thing?

232
00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:37,242
l don't

233
00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:40,996
You sure?
'Cause you keep
talking about it, so

234
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:44,207
Nope. I'm good
I'm here.

235
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:46,918
Let's find some
warehouse workers
Good, great.

236
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:50,297
Then, can you say things
that aren't, like, a huge
bummer to everybody?

237
00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:53,592
'Cause the more I talk
the more they're
going to realize

238
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:55,051
l don't know
what I'm talking about

239
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:56,136
Okay

240
00:09:56,220 --> 00:09:57,804
We need you, okay?
Okay

241
00:09:57,888 --> 00:09:58,888
Okay?
Yeah

242
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,015
All right

243
00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:03,101
(GRUNTING)

244
00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:04,227
Ah

245
00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:07,564
What's the problem?

246
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,691
Grunting is scientifically
proven to add more power

247
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:11,610
Ask any female tennis player

248
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,028
or her husband

249
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:14,696
(YELLING)

250
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:18,325
l didn't feel anything

251
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:24,289
ANDY: All right, thank you
for coming back in again.

252
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:27,542
Now, we're going
to ask you a few questions
Darryl, you have the floor.

253
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:28,793
Why do you want
to work here?

254
00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,003
l need a job

255
00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:31,129
It's not a good reason

256
00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:32,213
Good

257
00:10:32,548 --> 00:10:33,506
Keeping them honest

258
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:35,550
Don't just take
the first job
that comes your way

259
00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:39,512
'Cause next thing you know
it's 10 years later,
and you're still there

260
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:41,848
You could write
your obituary tomorrow

261
00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:43,058
It's not going
to change.

262
00:10:44,393 --> 00:10:46,770
Are we scaring
them straight?

263
00:10:46,854 --> 00:10:47,896
l hope so

264
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:49,147
Think about
this carefully

265
00:10:49,857 --> 00:10:51,566
There's better lives
than this one.

266
00:10:57,907 --> 00:10:59,449
I've never been lucky

267
00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:00,909
And I'm not talking
about the lottery

268
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:05,747
I'm talking about
stuff like developing
a soy allergy at 35.

269
00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:09,542
Who gets a soy allergy at /5?

270
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:11,920
And why is soy in everything?

271
00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:15,507
Nice, right back
where I like you

272
00:11:15,591 --> 00:11:17,634
Can you make 10 copies
of this for me?
No

273
00:11:17,718 --> 00:11:19,094
Why not? What
are you doing?

274
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,221
Buying lottery
tickets online

275
00:11:21,305 --> 00:11:22,305
(CHUCKLING)

276
00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:26,601
Everyone wants to be rich
but nobody wants
to work for it

277
00:11:27,603 --> 00:11:28,853
You came in
at 1 0:30 today, right?

278
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:30,855
Okay, I'll just
do this myself

279
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:36,528
Is everyone licensed?
Like a driver's license?

280
00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:38,154
No, warehouse license

281
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,282
Masters in
warehouse sciences?

282
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:44,703
l feel that Darryl has talked
about a license of some kind

283
00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:47,789
Is this a joke?
No. Not joking.

284
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:49,124
This is real

285
00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:52,669
Painfully real,
what is happening
right now

286
00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:58,007
Okay, I'm not
going to make it
I'm turning back

287
00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:00,635
There's gotta be
a better way to do this

288
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,387
This is literally how
they built the pyramids

289
00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:04,597
Well, they whipped people
which was helpful.

290
00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:07,058
But you're right.
We should be able
to find a more efficient way

291
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:08,977
of moving boxes
than Madge or Hide

292
00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:10,061
Yeah

293
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,647
Not that they're
not smart people

294
00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:14,983
No, no, very smart

295
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:16,526
Theirs is
more of a physical
intelligence

296
00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:17,610
I'd go with that

297
00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:18,903
Like baboons
or elephants.

298
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,113
Not that, don't

299
00:12:20,197 --> 00:12:24,033
Guys, when I was a kid
my sisters used
to butter me up

300
00:12:24,118 --> 00:12:27,787
and slide me
across the linoleum floor
of the kitchen.

301
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:29,622
It really made
them laugh.

302
00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:30,749
It's a great idea, Kev

303
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:31,791
I don't think
it applies here, though

304
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:32,876
So, maybe we just

305
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,503
Yeah, we move stuff
and have fun.

306
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:36,755
Kevin
doesn't apply

307
00:12:37,339 --> 00:12:38,465
Right, my mom

308
00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:41,050
You need
to drop it, okay?

309
00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:42,427
They hate it

310
00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:45,180
l like it a lot
but they hate it
so drop it.

311
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:52,645
Does anyone get distracted
easily by bubble wrap?

312
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:55,023
(LAUGHING)

313
00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:59,694
You'll be dealing with
lots of bubble wrap,
obviously. Um...

314
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,362
How much longer
is this going to take?

315
00:13:03,699 --> 00:13:04,699
Did you hire them?

316
00:13:05,659 --> 00:13:07,035
No, because
they all left.

317
00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:09,037
What do you mean
they left?

318
00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:11,831
l mean, after you bailed

319
00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:15,210
l got confused
and frankly,
a little weird

320
00:13:15,669 --> 00:13:18,671
And the stuff that you said
certainly didn't help

321
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:20,715
Then I think you
should fire me.

322
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:23,635
What are you talking about?
I'm not going to fire you

323
00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:25,637
Yeah, just put me out
of my misery.

324
00:13:29,558 --> 00:13:32,143
Okay, this is weird.
I don't get the joke

325
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:33,645
No? Okay

326
00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:38,233
I don't want
to be here anymore

327
00:13:39,693 --> 00:13:40,902
Fire me

328
00:13:46,575 --> 00:13:48,076
So Darryl says
to me, "Fire me,'

329
00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:50,745
but what he really means is

330
00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:53,957
"I'm going to say something
really weird, try and figure
out what it means."

331
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:57,126
So I say, "No,
you're not fired.'

332
00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:59,295
But what I really mean is

333
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:01,798
"I've no idea
what you're
talking about

334
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:03,758
"But I'm going to go ahead
and hire some people

335
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,511
"for the warehouse and hope
that you eventually
start feeling better."

336
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:11,975
l really hope that's
what he and l mean

337
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:14,853
Attention

338
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,938
Does anyone know anyone who
could work in the warehouse?

339
00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:18,064
We can pay

340
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:19,858
Come on, Oscar

341
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,943
Who's the most jacked guy
in all of Scranton?

342
00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:23,486
Like your wildest
fantasy guy?

343
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:24,779
Bulk or definition?

344
00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:26,030
Definition

345
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:28,241
Bruce Kenward.
He hangs out
at Planet Fitness

346
00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:30,702
Are those just show muscles
or is he really strong?

347
00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:31,953
Oh, he's plenty strong

348
00:14:32,329 --> 00:14:35,540
It used to be Reggie Winters
out at Gold's Gym

349
00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:36,624
But he moved away

350
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,127
And then it was between
Bruce and this guy, Dean

351
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:43,798
But Dean got fixated
on his calves,

352
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:44,883
and, uh

353
00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:47,343
And his triceps
went to hell.

354
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,554
So, I've been thinking

355
00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:51,598
after we win the lottery
we take our winnings...

356
00:14:51,682 --> 00:14:52,682
Our fake winnings

357
00:14:52,766 --> 00:14:54,434
And we move
to the South of France

358
00:14:54,518 --> 00:14:57,437
See... No, there's plenty
of bicycling for you.

359
00:14:57,521 --> 00:14:58,688
l think that's
where they do
the Tour de France

360
00:14:58,772 --> 00:14:59,814
It is, yeah

361
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,024
l mean, I just don't know
why I'm compromising

362
00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:02,108
if it's my fantasy

363
00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:04,527
Because in my fantasy,
it's Maine, and you love it

364
00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:06,863
Because I'm never going
to act like that,
even in your fantasy

365
00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:10,825
Nope, you're doing
a great job of it
in my fantasy right now

366
00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:13,578
Hey, idiot, what did
Erin want again?

367
00:15:13,662 --> 00:15:15,622
A hot chocolate tea

368
00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:20,293
Gideon, you are
a PhD candidate

369
00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:23,254
studying America's
diminishing blue-collar
workforce?

370
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:24,464
North America

371
00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:28,176
And "diminishing" is a little
reductive, but, sure
that's the headline version

372
00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:29,886
Great

373
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:33,181
Well, it will bring
a fresh, new perspective
to the warehouse.

374
00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:36,434
FYI, Wednesday through Friday
I have a pretty full
teaching schedule.

375
00:15:36,518 --> 00:15:38,853
Oh, cool
We'll figure
that out.

376
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,647
Also, FYI

377
00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:45,276
I don't technically
have a hearing problem

378
00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:49,697
But sometimes, when there's
a lot of noises occurring
at the same time

379
00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:51,699
I'll hear them
as one big jumble

380
00:15:52,701 --> 00:15:54,953
Again, it's not
that l can't hear

381
00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:56,704
Because that's false, l can

382
00:15:57,122 --> 00:16:00,833
Um, l just can't distinguish
between everything
I'm hearing.

383
00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:03,127
Got it. Duly noted

384
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:04,212
You

385
00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:07,298
coolest tank top
I have ever seen.
Where did you get that?

386
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:09,050
Made it.
So cool

387
00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:10,551
What a cross section
we have here.

388
00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:12,095
It's what I love
about interviewing

389
00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:13,304
l get to meet
all these people

390
00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:16,391
l wouldn't ordinarily
meet, or know
or even talk to.

391
00:16:16,725 --> 00:16:18,476
Message in a Bottle,
The Postman...

392
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,687
Kevin Costner
Kevin Costner, yeah

393
00:16:24,858 --> 00:16:26,484
So

394
00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:27,986
l found this grease

395
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:30,488
And then l remembered
that you thought
it was a great idea.

396
00:16:30,572 --> 00:16:32,407
You did say
it was a great idea

397
00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:33,574
l heard you say it

398
00:16:35,911 --> 00:16:38,454
So it's not
the dumbest idea

399
00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:39,664
DWIGHT: It's not the
greatest one...

400
00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:41,833
But the fact remains,
we gotta move these boxes.

401
00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:43,876
And it's clear we're
not going to carry them.

402
00:16:45,295 --> 00:16:47,672
So sadly, it's the best
idea on the table.
Exactly.

403
00:16:47,756 --> 00:16:50,299
KEVIN: Hey, I think we're
ready to get this...

404
00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:52,343
Jim?
Is he okay?

405
00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:53,594
He'll be fine

406
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:58,599
Surprise! Your new crew

407
00:16:59,768 --> 00:17:01,102
Would you just
fire me, man?

408
00:17:02,604 --> 00:17:04,856
Hey, why?
Because you didn't
win the lottery?

409
00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:07,358
How am l supposed
to make you happy?

410
00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:09,235
You want to make
me happy? Huh?

411
00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:10,486
Yeah
Give me your job.

412
00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:12,780
Haha. What?
I'll do it better
than you

413
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:15,533
l earned it,
l deserve it

414
00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:17,493
I got passed over
God knows why.

415
00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:20,496
Reasons I cannot
and will not understand

416
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,958
The job was mine, Andy
Everyone said it was mine

417
00:17:25,252 --> 00:17:27,545
Make me manager
or fire me.

418
00:17:27,629 --> 00:17:29,464
I'm not going
to give you my job

419
00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:31,090
It's my job
l earned it!

420
00:17:32,801 --> 00:17:35,011
And here's the thing
You weren't even
next in line.

421
00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:36,846
l asked about you
l saw your file

422
00:17:36,930 --> 00:17:38,514
You have a history
of being short
with people

423
00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:40,683
and you hired Glenn
your buddy,

424
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:42,101
to replace you
in the warehouse

425
00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:44,312
He was under-qualified
They saw that.

426
00:17:44,521 --> 00:17:46,189
Also, Darryl, FYI

427
00:17:46,273 --> 00:17:47,857
I already told
this to Andy

428
00:17:47,941 --> 00:17:49,150
but you should
probably know

429
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:52,028
l technically don't have
a hearing problem

430
00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:55,782
It's just when there's
a lot of noises...
Nate. Please.

431
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,117
Thank you.
(INAUDIBLE MUMBLING)

432
00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:03,122
You have no
business education

433
00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:05,958
You were going to take
classes under Deangelo
What happened to that?

434
00:18:06,043 --> 00:18:07,085
He died

435
00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:08,711
He didn't die,
his brain died

436
00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:10,797
And my brain is still
very much alive

437
00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:12,924
And I'd be happy
to give you
business classes

438
00:18:13,008 --> 00:18:14,425
How come you haven't
asked me about it?

439
00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:15,885
What was...
What was the last

440
00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:17,929
I'm having a

441
00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:20,348
No part of this has
anything to do with you

442
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:24,143
I didn't have time
because of my daughter

443
00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:26,145
But you had time
for a softball clinic

444
00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:27,605
And a Mediterranean
cooking class.

445
00:18:27,689 --> 00:18:30,858
Hey, I'm not going to tell you
this stuff if you're going
to throw it back in my face!

446
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,110
Hey, here's the thing

447
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,737
Jo saw something in you
She loved you.

448
00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:38,491
She gave you a shot
and then you
stopped pushing.

449
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,118
She noticed

450
00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:49,293
Okay

451
00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:50,378
Okay, what?

452
00:18:53,048 --> 00:18:54,882
Okay, don't fire me

453
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:00,555
Okay

454
00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:05,476
My future's not going
to be determined by seven
little white lotto balls.

455
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,771
It's going to be determined
by two big black balls.

456
00:19:09,898 --> 00:19:11,399
l control my destiny

457
00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:13,734
l do

458
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:16,529
I'll put some
guys on tonight

459
00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:18,865
The best of your bunch
and my bunch

460
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:21,075
I'll tell you now, though
it's going to be mostly
my bunch

461
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,910
Yeah, that makes sense

462
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,579
Okay, good
All right.

463
00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:26,122
DWIGHT: Are they here?

464
00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:27,748
What is going on?

465
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:28,833
Oh, hey, guys

466
00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:30,710
Why is the forklift
in the wall?

467
00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:32,128
ANDY: Why is
the truck empty?

468
00:19:32,212 --> 00:19:33,671
It's not totally empty

469
00:19:33,755 --> 00:19:34,922
Is that grease
on my floor?

470
00:19:36,466 --> 00:19:37,967
Okay

471
00:19:38,051 --> 00:19:40,136
I can see why you're angry.
You're coming into this cold

472
00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:43,848
But believe me
a lot of thought
went into this.

473
00:19:43,932 --> 00:19:46,434
And did your brains
tell you to ruin these
boxes with grease?

474
00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:47,935
Okay, Darryl

475
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,688
Listen, and then
you will understand

476
00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:54,066
The boxes were ruined
during our first
trial testing.

477
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:56,694
So now, it's cool
'cause we found
another use for them

478
00:19:56,778 --> 00:19:58,529
Okay, all right

479
00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:01,449
That's... Look, all we were
trying to do is we thought
we could come up

480
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:03,117
with a more efficient
way to do things.

481
00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:04,660
And?

482
00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:05,870
And we did.
l don't know

483
00:20:05,954 --> 00:20:08,164
Jim, tell them
what it's called

484
00:20:08,957 --> 00:20:10,208
That's all right

485
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:11,542
No, Jim, tell them
what the name is

486
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:13,127
Doesn't matter
what the name is

487
00:20:14,129 --> 00:20:16,255
Señor Loadenstein
that's stupid.

488
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:18,382
Señor Loadenstein

489
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:20,051
Tell them why
it's called that, Jim

490
00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:21,844
That's okay, we're good

491
00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:25,306
No, Jim, tell us why
it's called señor
Loadenstein

492
00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:28,559
Porque es muy rápido.

493
00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:30,895
DWIGHT: Okay, you know what?
It's been a real busy day.

494
00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:32,021
What do you say
we put all this away?

495
00:20:32,105 --> 00:20:33,606
Let me see it

496
00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:35,233
It's in beta testing

497
00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:36,484
Let me see it

498
00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:37,568
Get the thing, go

499
00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:39,946
Lube it up.
Kevin, start mopping

500
00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:42,323
ALL: Uno, dos, tres.

501
00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:48,496
Yeah. I lost my client

502
00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:54,085
I already won the lottery
I was born in
the US of A, baby

503
00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:56,295
And as backup,
I have a Swiss passport

504
00:20:57,130 --> 00:20:59,215
l would spend
a lot of time

505
00:20:59,716 --> 00:21:02,510
launching my
true crime podcast
"The Flenderson Files.'

506
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:04,011
Duh-buh-bum

507
00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:06,013
Flenderson Files

508
00:21:06,181 --> 00:21:07,431
We came
to an agreement

509
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:10,101
We're going to live
in a stunning
pre-war brownstone

510
00:21:10,185 --> 00:21:11,310
at the top of a mountain

511
00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:12,937
Right, it's city
and country combined

512
00:21:13,021 --> 00:21:15,898
Just a subway stop away
are the best museums
in the world.

513
00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:19,360
And I can fish right
from the window
of Pam's pottery studio

514
00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:21,529
We can chat
any time we want

515
00:21:21,863 --> 00:21:24,532
Just like now

516
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,910
It's too bad the schools
are terrible, but what are you
going to do about that?

517
00:21:27,995 --> 00:21:28,995
What are you
going to do?